Warning: Spoilers ahead!!

the symbolic purpose of superheroes

I love superheroes.

From watching cartoons as a kid to playing video games to Halloween costumes to all the different movie iterations across the years, superheroes are so cool to me. Each hero’s origin story and the decisions they have to make have always captured me and made me sit in awe, and…

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1. I am a crier in movies (e.g. in my last post, I talked about how I was weeping before Moana even made it beyond the reef)

2. I am a therapist that uses books and film as entry points for people to start examining and processing their own mental health experiences

That means th…

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storybearing as distinct from storytelling.

A few days ago, I took my kids to watch the live-action Moana movie. It started as a way to kill some time and enjoy a free summer afternoon. Little did I know that: 1) I would be weeping rivers before Moana ever made it beyond the reef, and 2) that I would be contemplating storytelling long after the credits h…

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1 Quote

“Revolution is about change, and the first place the change begins is in yourself.” –Assata Shakur, Assata: An Autobiography

1 Reflection

Some of the most popular influencers out there can’t discern conviction from clout.

Some of the top academics don’t know how to apply their own work to their lives.

Some of the therapists with the most knowledge do…

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We don’t talk enough about hate.

We’ve grown comfortable talking about rage and we’ve embraced petty. In the spaces, communities, and identities I belong to, I think this is a sign of healing. I think it’s an important part of allowing ourselves to feel more fully instead of numbing ourselves out to comply with coercive power or to simply survive to see another day.

But even though we’re more familiar with rage and pettiness, we still don’t like talking about hate.

Hate feels villainous. It feels like crossing a line you can’t come back from, and we’re taught that it doesn’t work. Zero chance. It’s like what Jinu says (heyoooo, shout out to the Saja Boys), “If hate could have defeated Gwi-Ma, I would have done it a long time ago.” Hate just seems too dangerous, too destructive, too corrupting.

But while that certainly feels true, Demon Slayer offers us a different perspective that I believe to be critical. And that perspective is this:

Hate, metabolized patiently and intentionally, strengthens resolve, sharpens one’s sense of justice, and keeps love alive.

This theme is echoed by how several characters are portrayed: Shinobu, Zenitsu, Sanemi, Tanjiro, and Akaza. After this point in this article, I’ll be making use of spoilers from the Infinity Castle movie, so make your own choice and live with it.

Shinobu

Throughout the series, Shinobu is known for her calm and cheerful demeanor. She almost always wears a gentle smile and speaks politely, even to demons. Shinobu often comes across as teasing or sly, but her kindness toward humans and her fierce determination to honor her sister’s legacy show the depth and complexity of her character.

This complexity comes to the forefront when she finally encounters Douma, the demon who killed her sister. We finally get to witness the deep reservoir of grief and anger she harbors over the death of her sister, and alongside that, a burning hate for Douma.

The intensity of her hate is, at first, shocking when thinking about how sharply this contrasts with her usual demeanor. This juxtaposition might make someone recoil or withdraw at first, but if you can stay with the feeling, it makes perfect sense. It was Shinobu’s very love for her sister that has caused this intense hate for Douma. It is that very hate, processed and metabolized over years, that has sparked her resolve to end Douma, no matter the cost. It is that very hate that has expanded Shinobu’s love to Kanao and others that she takes care of so compassionately and empathetically. Again, hate, metabolized patiently and intentionally, strengthens resolve, sharpens one’s sense of justice, and keeps love alive.

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Zenitsu

We see a similar juxtaposition with Zenitsu. Zenitsu, in contrast to many of the characters in Demon Slayer, is often portrayed as cowardly, anxious, and self-deprecating. He is dramatic and often serves as a sort of comic relief, as demonstrated through panic, whining, and insecurity. Despite this, he has a kind heart and strong moral compass, showing deep loyalty and compassion to those he cares about. This is seen most sharply when he is pushed to his limits or unconscious from sheer terror, where his natural talent and honed instincts as a swordsman emerge with incredible precision.

In Infinity Castle, that moral compass and deep loyalty comes forth, for the first time, while Zenitsu is conscious and done so intentionally. We find out that his mission is one of vengeance, as his grandfather committed seppuku alone over Kaigaku becoming a demon. Though Zenitsu still calls Kaigaku “big brother” and apologizes as he strikes his final blow, I believe this can still be identified as hate, because this is an extreme response, especially for someone as typically insecure as Zenitsu. The single-minded resolve he shows in navigating the infinity castle, finding Kaigaku so quickly, and determining to kill him at any cost necessary, indeed coming near to his own death, is something so drastically different from his usual personality. It is one of the more collectively moving parts of the movie because we deeply resonate with the love that Zenitsu had for his grandfather as well as his grief over his own failures and insecurities. It’s the kind of love that is so real. It’s also what makes Zenitsu’s hate for Kaigaku so relatable, including whatever fondness he may still have had for his peer-become-demon.

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Sanemi

Sanemi is unique among the Hashira in that he is typically hot-tempered, brash, and often confrontational. He’s quick to anger, blunt in his words, and carries himself with a hardened edge that can come off as harsh or even cruel. He is perhaps the most disgusted by demons, going so far as to hurt Nezuko to provoke her and, without Tanjiro’s intervention, likely would have killed Genya upon hearing him say, “I even ate demons.”

This is why I love the juxtaposition he displays when dropping into the infinity castle. We see clearly his deep love and devotion for Ubuyashiki, who has given his life to give the Hashira a chance at defeating Muzan. One would expect Sanemi to immediately rampage throughout the entire castle with reckless abandon. However, we see him wiping away tears in his grief and sitting cross-legged, letting the demons come to him. The quiet, seething hate is almost palpable as he slowly, casually stands up to begin his work of taking out the demons in front of him.

It becomes clearer and clearer that beneath his rough exterior lies deep pain and an unyielding drive to protect humanity, rooted in the trauma of losing loved ones to demons. It is because he has loved fiercely that he experiences such tangible hate. And it is that his familiarity and understanding of that hate that drives his fierce sense of responsibility and his desire to prevent others from suffering as he has.

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Tanjiro

Tanjiro is by-and-large the most pure-hearted of all the characters in Demon Slayer. In Mugen Train, we saw the depths of his kind and tender soul, willing to sacrifice himself simply because he knew someone was looking for his spiritual core. We repeatedly see him attempt to call demons back to their former humanity. But at the end of the Hashira Training arc, when Muzan appears before all the Hashira, we hear his deep-seated rage and hate in the form of a raw scream of Muzan’s name. Right in front of his eyes is the one who has spawned thousands of years of violence, pain, and destruction. It is Tanjiro’s love for humanity and tender-heartedness for life, that is inextricably linked to that deep hatred for Muzan.

In Infinity Castle then, it is both surprising, and yet unsurprising, that Tanjiro has a similar scream when Akaza appears before him. It is surprising because until now, Tanjiro has demonstrated that sort of “last chance” plea to demons to recall their humanity. However, there is no such thing here with Akaza (even though we see it happen in a very emotional way in Akaza’s backstory). It is unsurprising because of the deep love and respect that we know Tanjiro had for Rengoku. Rengoku was perhaps the one who most upheld the ideals of the Demon Slayer Corps. With intensity and conviction, often in a booming, uplifting tone that inspires those around him, Rengoku embodied a radiant, almost larger-than-life spirit: joyful, kind, and determined, even in the face of overwhelming odds. It’s obvious why Tanjiro would have looked up to Rengoku so deeply.

In the same pattern, it is because of this love that Tanjiro has never forgiven Akaza. It is because of that deep respect of someone who perhaps was the closest Hashira to Tanjiro’s own soul, that he has such a deep hate for Akaza. (Side note: this is why it’s so intriguing to me that even though we, as the audience, got Akaza’s deeply emotional backstory, Tanjiro and Giyu saw none of it. All of it was just Akaza’s internal reflections and remembering, which is why Tanjiro and Giyu were so confused when Akaza obliterated himself. It makes me wonder what Tanjiro would have thought if he had the chance to understand Akaza better.)

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Akaza

This is the perfect segue into discussing how love and hate come into play for Akaza, because out of all the characters we’ve given thought to here, his character is (obviously, tragically) the one that is an example of what happens when hate is not metabolized well.

In Infinity Castle, we learn of Akaza’s deep love for his father, for his sensei, and for Koyuki. He was willing to be beaten for stealing in order to preserve his father’s health, and he was incredibly patient, kind, and nurturing for Koyuki. It is because of his deep love, that when his sensei and Koyuki were poisoned, that he was consumed by his rage and hate and went on his murdering spree of the neighboring dojo. However, he was never able to metabolize his hate, as he encountered Muzan soon after and was turned into a demon. He lost his memories, perhaps an intentional decision by Muzan, and was never able to grasp his former love for the precious people in his life. He even notes, as he begins to remember, that he has incredible disdain for Tanjiro because he is a reminder of his sensei. Though Akaza has an incredible homecoming as he remembers his loved ones, his ending is still one where he needed help, from Koyuki in particular, to stop acting on his violent hate, even when he had turned his violence on himself. Hate, metabolized patiently and intentionally, strengthens resolve, sharpens one’s sense of justice, and keeps love alive. But when it is suppressed, repressed, or otherwise undealt with, it dulls the senses and only serves to create a deeper spiral into chaos and violence.

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We gotta work with our hate.

Hate can be remarkable. It is because we refuse to remark on it that it is, in essence, a cultural taboo. My belief is that Demon Slayer gives a beautiful mosaic of how intimately connected hate is with love, rage, justice, and grief, among other emotions. It is in the way we tend to ourselves and those deep-seated emotions, including hate, that determines our capacity to move towards health, liberation, and thriving. If we never talk about hate, there will always be a gap. And it’s not as if talking about hate suddenly means we have the recipe to a better world, but acknowledging that we all experience hate does something to help us release it, channel it, and work with it in the ways in which we need to. Demon Slayer may be a work of fiction, but we too, are in a parallel search of a peaceful, demon-less world, and so perhaps the lessons it gives on hate can serve us in the same parallel manner.

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January 2024

Best thing I read: The Scholomance trilogy

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At a broad…

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Allyship is dead.

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