my spin on the format has been to reference iconic tracks from Internet history. The golden age of Internet content creation, in my opinion, was the early 2000s when not everything was ruined by the idea of popularity and profitability.

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And the posts seem to have really struck a chord with folks who remember this iconic period in music and social media history. So thought I’d share my favorite 5 tracks from the past that were truly iconic and stand the test of time, both musically and memeably:

1. Bed Intruder Song - Antoine Dodson & The Gregory Brothers

   1. Quite possibly the most famous Internet song. A groundbreaking “auto tune the news” style hit that most of us literally bought on iTunes and still remember every word

   2. My reel tribute

2. Shoes - Kelly

   1. Very hard to overstate how groundbreaking this was. Nobody was doing this kind of thing at this level. This came out 20 years ago and still slaps. Kids need to know how the internet started they should show this in schools.

   2. My reel tribute

3. Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That - Sweet Brown

   1. Another incredibly iconic auto tune the news style song, with an iconic star, Sweet Brown. This was a time when we didn’t have 100,000 new meme videos dropping every single day. We got to sit with and enjoy and share clips and songs and really feel like we discovered something special. I miss it.

   2. My reel tribute

4. Charlie Bit Me - Charlie and his brother

   1. Again, it’s hard to overstate the impact the original Charlie video and remix had on society. It was absolutely everywhere. Every person saw it and knew it. Sadly, if Charlie bit his brother today, it would likely never see the light of day on anyone’s for you page.

5. Friday - Rebecca Black

   1. Quite possibly the worst song ever written and recorded. This was absolutely everywhere. You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing it or hearing someone talking about it. It took over culture completely. Rebecca Black became an accidental icon, who managed to turn Friday’s massive (un)popular success into a legitimate music career with actually decent music.

   2. Good for her!

Did I miss any of your favorite Internet songs?

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Being the collector I am, I was stunned at the detail and quality of these vintage-style toys. I’ve also always been a fan of the “things organized neatly” motif, which was popularized (I believe) by this Tumblr account that I used to follow religiously back in the day. The account featured flatlays of objects (often the same object repeated or a collection of related objects) arranged in such a way that the organization of the objects alone became a piece of art to marvel at. This gives that energy.

A teeny tiny bit of research led me to the creative agency, Closer.ltd, a longtime collaborator of Louis Vuitton, which is also responsible for the stunning Louis Vuitton trunks installation at the flagship Louis Vuitton on 5th Avenue in New York City.

Unfortunately, from what I can tell, the toys in the display are not actually fabricated for sale, and I haven’t found them available online anywhere. So this is where I need your help:

I’m planning to rob Louis Vuitton in the dead of night, when they least suspect it. I just need one of each, and I can take them off the ends where no one will ever even notice.

If you’re willing to help me, send me a note and I’ll send you all the deets.

Thanks everyone!

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In no particular order, here are five things that I LOVE about Santa Fe.

1. The Birds

As you know, I’m in the birding phase of my life now, and friends, New Mexico has so so so many birds. Hummingbirds, a generally elusive bird type, are absolutely everywhere, and I can’t get enough. I mean look at that artistry!

2. THE FOOD

Now, it may not be the most PHOTOGENIC food on earth, but lemme tell you: it’s genuinely some of the absolute greatest food you’ll ever put in your mouth. In the land of chile, absolutely everything I order comes smothered “Christmas style” (red AND green chile sauce). The flavor is next level—but make sure you’ve got a nice tall glass of water to wash it down.

3. The Sunsets

Need I say more?

4. The Dog Friendliness

We love taking JoJo everywhere we possibly can, and we’re so happy that New Mexico, and Santa Fe in particular, are VERY welcoming of dogs. Most places have patio seating and graciously allow dogs, even providing water bowls and special treats for your four legged friends. We took JoJo out to eat and even HIKING at Nambe Falls, and she absolutely ate it up.

5. The Art

Our primary reason for traveling to Santa Fe during the summer is the Santa Fe Opera. Their gorgeous open-air theater looks out over the stunning New Mexico landscape, and their setup allows you to see multiple fully-staged operas in a single week. Besides the opera, Santa Fe is home to the Santa Fe Desert Chorale, which we were lucky to see during this trip at the beautiful Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi. And of course, Santa Fe is home to many artists and galleries that feature unique paintings and sculptures that you just won’t see anywhere else. A tour of Georgia O’Keefe’s Ghost Ranch is an absolute must.

For those reasons and many more, I highly recommend a trip to Santa Fe… But don’t tell anyone. Thank you.

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Hey so we are on vacation in Santa Fe, and on the drive into New Mexico we made a quick stop at the welcome center and while walking inside, I saw these flowers that quite literally took my breath away. Well, it was either the flowers or the altitude. Still, I was stunned!

The gorgeous color palette really delighted me and I thought you should see it. Some web sleuthing helped me determine that these are most likely the “Miss Huff” variety of the Lantana flower.

According to this page that seems to know a lot about Miss Huff, she has the following qualities:

• Attracts Hummingbirds

• Easy Care

• Waterwise

• Attracts Pollinators

• Heat Loving

• Fast Growing

• Benefits Birds

So here’s to you, Miss Huff! We love what you’re doing. Keep it up!

I have very vivid memories of looking at a Toy Story, blue sky filled with fluffy clouds, and the most gorgeous shades of blue that you’ve ever seen. Now I feel like I look up at the sky and see the remnants of dirty pool water that’s been sitting in a bucket for two weeks.

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A quick search on the internet gave me many possible reasons including the usual suspects: pollution and wildfire smoke. And a few I hadn’t heard before: the CERN Large Hadron Collider, we live in a simulation, and camera quality changes over time.

That last one basically meaning that our memory of the sky being “more blue” is really just because we see it that way in photos when cameras had much more saturated, richer colors that were not actually an accurate depiction of reality at the time. And those photos have replaced our “memories” of what actually was. We’ve seen this a lot in the way movies look today vs decades ago as well.

Some additional research led me to this article explaining scientifically why the sky that I saw today, July 22, was as ugly as it was: because of the seasons:

The summer sky has more water vapor. The warmer the air the more water it can hold so the larger the water droplets. Those larger water droplets scatter light into a milky white haze. The higher the sun angles, the more scattering. Our eyes perceive this as a lighter blue and sometimes almost white.

This makes a lot of sense, given the fact that it’s 101° currently where I am. The milky white haze is practically suffocating me.

So the truth probably lies somewhere between the cameras and the summer heat, but that’s really no fun.

That’s why from this day forward I’m blaming the CERN large hadron collider.

Whatever that means.

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You may want to save this tip for 2030: I needed to restock my Cholula hot sauce supply, and the best price hands down is at Costco ($9.99 for two LARGE bottles). Ordinarily, a Sunday afternoon is one of the worst times to go to Costco, as seemingly everyone in the entire city is there restocking their supply of rotisserie chicken and sparkling water at that time. But yesterday was the final of the World Cup, and since I haven’t paid attention to soccer since I stopped playing in high school when I had to choose musical rehearsal over soccer practice (a real-life High School Musical dilemma), I figured this was the best time to go. And, just as I suspected, the store was nearly empty. I had all the aisles to myself, and little to no difficulty securing each and every sample that I wanted. I did notice that there was a group of folks huddled around the Apple computer display table—more than usual—and sure enough they had rigged the screen there to show the final. As a result, I was able to secure my Cholula AND see the tail end of the game when Spain beat Argentina. Congrats to everyone involved!

2. Found my old Olive Garden waiter cheat sheet from 2005

After graduating high school, I genuinely had no interest in immediately going to college. I didn’t know what I would major in, and I really wanted to be the next John Mayer singer-songwriter-guitar-playing-musician anyway. In order to do this, I decided I would take a semester off from school and focus on voice and guitar lessons while doing what all aspiring musicians do: wait tables on the side. There was a brand new Olive Garden location opening near us, and I was a huge fan of the soup, salad, and breadsticks. I secured a position on the opening staff of this new location and spent all of my spare time memorizing what, at the time seemed like a very complex menu, including the wide world of alcoholic beverages that I had never partaken in. This weekend while sorting through boxes of old junk from my closet at my parents’ house, I found some of the flashcards I made myself to remember what questions to ask guests to the OG: soup or salad? Marinara or Alfredo dipping sauce (an easy upsell)? And reminders for the house wines I was required to offer a sample of at the beginning of every dining experience. I was 18 and had never had a sip of alcohol, but you better believe I was a master at selling you a glass of light and fruity vino Bianco.

3. Sculpted this goofy dog

I’m a sucker for a cute piece of ceramic sculpture, and I’ve been learning how to make them over the past several years at a local craft guild. When it comes to throwing on a wheel vs. hand building, I tend to gravitate toward hand-building. For one, wheel throwing is much more difficult than the movies make it out to be. And for two, wheel throwing is super messy and I don’t like cleaning everything up. When I grab a lump of clay I have little to no idea what I’m going to do with it. I really just let the clay tell me what it wants. In this case, I’d seen a tutorial online teaching how to make a goofy dog, and lemme tell you: this dog is absolutely a goof. I’ll keep you posted on my progress, but I’m loving what I’m seeing so far!

4. Saved yet another rabbit from the watchful eye of JoJo

Our neighborhood is chock full of rabbits. They’re everywhere. If you follow me on Instagram, you know that bunnies are a staple in my backyard. And we’ve done a pretty good job of keeping the bunnies separated from my dog JoJo. As a Schnauzer, dachshund, and other assorted dog-types mix, she has a knack for sniffing out bunnies and attempting to play with them. I’d rather her not do that so we have fences all over the yard to keep them separate. Still, every once in a while a baby bunny who doesn’t know the drill will squeeze its way into JoJo’s territory at which point I run around screaming NO JOJO NO JOJO NO! Until the bunny flees beyond the perimeter. Thankfully this little guy (or girl) was able to make it through the fence and observe JoJo from a safe distance. Hopefully the bunny learned the lesson and tells its friends.

5. Rode my bike!

Thanks to an upcoming collab with Schwinn bikes on Instagram, we were gifted with new bikes. And this was my first new bike in decades. It’s genuinely been a lot of fun to ride around the neighborhood and explore. I’ve driven these streets, but a bike offers a totally new perspective than riding in a car or even going for a walk. It reminds me of the freedom I felt as a kid riding around the neighborhood, going to McDonald’s “on my own” and meeting up with friends, all without needing a ride from my parents. I was recently at my parents’ house and saw that they still have my original Schwinn bike from when I was a kid. And now my nieces and nephews play with it from time to time and go on their own adventures. Pretty cool!

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There was so much to learn from this collection of his journal entries, and I’m planning a deeper dive into my takeaways for a future post. SO for now, enjoy five highlights I made while reading and interpret them as you wish. We’ll be discussing them very soon.

3.

4.

5.

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2. Goofy Phone

   I was always a fan of Goofy, long before I ever got to be “friends with” him at Walt Disney World. I frequently rented the Goofy Sports Shorts video from Blockbuster and laughed until I cried. I don’t know how I scored the official Goofy PHONE, but I have to assume it was a present that Santa brought me because I was on my best behavior and begged and pleaded long enough that he finally gave in. If you’re not familiar with the Goofy phone, it was a working landline telephone that had special rings when someone called. Goofy would come to life amidst a long nap when the phone rang and say something to the effect of “DID YOU HEAR SOMETHIN’ RINGIN’” until someone picked up. To be honest it was pretty clever technology for the time. Now, it appears his foot is completely broken, and I’m pictured here holding his head on. Perhaps I’ll work on repairing the old guy to bring him back to life. (Shoutout to the Glory Beanie Baby in the background! Sadly, not worth much these days, despite the promise that it would put me through college.)

   

3. Beanie Baby Pricing Guide

   Speaking of Beanie Babies… I found this collection of Beanie Babies photos and pricing that I printed out as a child, sure that I was essentially creating generational wealth for me and my future family. The Beanie Baby craze was something of legend that will never be repeated again, though not for lack of trying! I still have so many of my Beanie Babies (Glory, pictured above in its plastic preservative box), and at this point I’m not sure why I would get rid of them. There’s ALWAYS still the possibility that they will allow me to retire.

4. Regis Tie

   Premiering in 1999, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with host Regis Philbin was a cultural phenomenon. Everybody watched this game show, and I can’t think of another game show since that has had the same effect on culture, except for maybe that HQ mobile live streaming game they did for a minute online. Anyway: Regis’s signature look were these solid color reflective ties that, for some reason, 12-year-old Adam thought were AWESOME. I remember begging my mom to take me to Dillard’s department store to get one, and here we are 25 or so years later, a little worse for the wear, but still looking like a million bucks.

5. iPhone 3G

   Is 18 years long enough to keep the box from my iPhone 3G? According to the non-scientific poll I did with my Instagram audience yesterday: No. I should hang onto it a little bit longer. I remember getting this phone like it was yesterday, driving to the AT&T store around 3am so I could be first in line because there was no such thing as a pre-order at the time, and since this would be my FIRST iPhone (I was primarily a T-Mobile Sidekick 2 user), it was a big deal. I loved that little phone, and I miss the form factor of a small phone now that I’m walking around with the gigantic iPhone 15 Pro Max. Life was so much simpler those days wasn’t it?

   

   Thank you for supporting and reading the Rucker Report! If you made it this far, you’ve successfully diverted 5-10 minutes of your time from social media and from being monetized by Mark Zuckerberg! Yay!

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2. “Squish”

   If you look for JoJo any time after 5pm, you’ll most likely find her on “Squish,” a spot on a couch in the den featuring her favorite plush, Veronica the Octopus, a soft and cushy Squishmallow character that I have to say makes a GREAT pillow. Though Squishmallow brand makes actual dog beds, one of which we got her for Christmas, it’s safe to say that this octopus gets a lot more snuggles, and understandably so!

3. “Suitcase”

   This was actually more of a nap of protest than utility. I found her in my suitcase while we were packing for a past New York trip. Once she sees the suitcases come out of the closet, a full campaign begins to either keep us home or take her with us. And, while her protest for this particular trip did not work, we have begun to take her with us on short trips. And, when we can’t bring her along, we at least wait to get the suitcases out of the closet until she is safely at her grandparents’ house so we don’t accidentally pack our pup in our carry on.

4. “Pillow”

   Pillow is the most versatile, and therefore most frequent, category. Pillow is a stack or assortment of two or more pillows that JoJo finds herself on top of or in between. She tends to visit Pillow in the evening hours when we are preparing dinner or getting ready for bed. She gets her deepest sleep on Pillow and can even at times be heard snoring or dreaming about chasing bunnies when Pillow Mode is activated.

5. “Blanket”

   Who among us wouldn’t, if given the chance, surround themselves with a comfy and cushy blanket and sleep the day away? It’s JoJo’s favorite pastime, and I can’t blame her for it. Some days I wish I was a dog—I mean it looks like the life. Nap, eat, nap, eat, nap, sleep??? A dream!

   Thank you for supporting and reading the Rucker Report! If you made it this far, you’ve successfully diverted 5-10 minutes of your time from social media and from being monetized by Mark Zuckerberg! Yay!

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-Adam

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If you’re anything like me, just mentioning “David Hockney” conjures a kaleidoscope of imagery and color that this singular talent made his own throughout his life of artistry. The vibrance and uniqueness of his palette made the subjects of his paintings pop in a way that no other artist could.

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But beyond his work, which has been covered beautifully in many publications in the past week, he also SAID a lot of wonderful things, 5 of which I thought I would share here:

• Anything simple always interests me.

  • (This, btw, is the entire philosophy of the Rucker Report in a nutshell.)

• People tell me they open my e-mails first, because they aren’t demands and you don’t need to reply. They’re simply for pleasure.

  • Again, I don’t mean to make this all about me, but this is exactly what I hope you feel when you see something from the Rucker Report in your inbox. I’m also quite guilty of random and unexpected correspondence in my personal life. It brings me so much joy to share little tidbits, sightings, and memories with people. If I see something that reminds me of someone, I’ll snap the photo and send it to them, even if we haven’t spoken in 20 years. People just want to know they’re being thought of. So tell them!

• What an artist is trying to do for people is bring them closer to something, because of course art is about sharing. You wouldn’t be an artist unless you wanted to share an experience, a thought.

  • I think we take art and true artists for granted. Oftentimes we assume they’re there just to share their technical talent, but I think artists’ main function is to get us to stop, look, and consider things in a way we don’t typically take the time to do. Art requires you to pause and examine, or else we will likely miss its true meaning. And the beautiful thing about art is that anything can BE art, and art can mean something different to every person viewing it. There’s no right or wrong. To you, a Labubu could be a disturbing gremlin that haunts your dreams, and to someone else, a Labubu can be a tangible reminder of a beloved pet they had growing up. Art requires pause, and we all could use a good pause in this day and age.

• You must plan to be spontaneous.

  • This just speaks for itself. One of the great oxymorons of our time.

• I am constantly preoccupied with how to remove distance so that we can all come closer together, so that we can all begin to sense we are the same, we are one.

Rest in peace, David Hockney. (July 9 1937 – June 11 2026)

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I’m sure there’s a scientific reason I do this, but I just can’t read one book all the way through. Instead, I complicate things so much that I read up to 5 books simultaneously, little by little, over the course of months.

Here are five I’m currently reading right now. I’ll provide thorough reviews of each right here on the Rucker Report as soon as I finish. Stay tuned.

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1. Just for the Summer — Abby Jimenez

2. Don’t Call it Art —

3. The Land and Its People — David Sedaris

4. Keith Haring Journals — Keith Haring

5. The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking —

What (five books?) are you reading rn?

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The links above are Amazon affiliate links! If you use them, I could make a commission on your purchase at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Rucker Report!

Now don’t get me wrong: I loved Guess Who? as a kid. (Shoutout to my guy Bernard.) And, while I normally love anything and everything Costco has to offer, I do have to question who HUGE Guess Who? is for? I can’t imagine children of 2026 spending even two minutes standing still in the sun to describe the physical traits of 36 strangers.

That said, if you’re interested in HUGE Guess Who? I might recommend that you wait a bit to buy. If last year’s Plinko yard game is any indication, you’ll find it on MASSIVE sale in a few months after nobody else buys it.

2. Al from Home Improvement’s POCKET HOSE

   Listen, I’m really glad I saw this hose at Costco yesterday because I’ve had a problem with the Pocket Hose ever since it debuted in 2011. THE POCKET HOSE IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM WOULD EVER FIT IN SOMEONE’S POCKET! Yeah, yeah, it shrinks to a much smaller form factor than a normal hose… but unless you’re an elephant in cargo pants, it’s NOT fitting in your pocket.

   The size of the “pocket” hose aside, I do have to just be very honest and vulnerable about my experience with this type of hose in the past: they’re terrible. They’re marketed as “kink free,” but sweetie, the hose is so flimsy (on purpose) that the entire thing is just a massive series of kinks. Move in any direction, and this hose will fold and crease in a million ways that obstruct the flow of water. I’m GRATEFUL to Costco’s generous return policy so that I could get my money back on this monstrosity that I sadly DID purchase in the past.

   All that said, I’m happy that Richard Karn is still getting work from his historic run on ABC’s Home Improvement. Carry on, Karn!

   

3. Best Store Bought Shrimp Cocktail You’ll Find

   Not a lot to say about this other than if you want to act like you made a great shrimp cocktail for a party and you don’t want to actually make it, grab one of these and throw them on a bed of ice at your next get together. The shrimp are MASSIVE and they don’t taste like grocery store shrimp. Cocktail sauce is tasty too.

   

4. “Punch” the Monkey Dog Toy

   JoJo’s 5th birthday is tomorrow, and I needed to find her a gift worthy of such a big milestone, and let me tell you, Costco delivered. This gigantic monkey toy, reminiscent of the one “Punch” the monkey befriended at his zoo outside Tokyo, was $4.97 and looked ADORABLE sitting in the shopping cart like it was my child. Can’t WAIT to see JoJo befriend him and attempt to carry him all around the house.

5. WOOZOO

   I have this fan. This is my favorite fan. Most importantly: it’s CUTE. Secondly, it’s a great fan. It spins around, it flexes up and down, it’s currently ridiculously cheap: $10.00 off at $26.99, and it’s powerful as all get out. You’ll be glad you got it. And you’ll thank me for it. But there is no thanks necessary—just share the Rucker Report with a friend, and that will be thanks enough for me!

   

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Case in point: Who is the Government? by Michael Lewis. Despite being the author of massive hits like The Big Short, The Blind Side, and Moneyball, I must call into question his judgement (or the judgement of his publisher) for allowing a cover like this to happen.

I’m sure you can understand my dismay without my explaining, but just in case you don’t, I’ll tell you.

The depiction of the pin on this cover is simply not acceptable.

One has to assume that this is the backside of an America-shaped lapel pin. However, if that was the intent, the execution is flawed. You see, this is how the front of an America shaped pin looks:

And this, my friends, is the backside of that same pin:

So now I’m sure you can see the issue at hand: Michael Lewis wants it both ways. He wants to show the backside of an America-shaped pin while keeping the orientation of the country as if it were right side up.

Friends, I simply cannot accept this. How many layers of approval must a book cover pass through before reaching shelves? How many people signed off on this flawed design?

These are the kinds of things I preoccupy myself with when I’m paying attention to the world around me. And thank goodness I do. Now maybe you will too.

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The Rucker Report is reaching out to Michael Lewis for comment and will update this story when we hear back.

2. Capri Sun Pacific Cooler

   I attended a friend’s birthday party today, and since so many of our friends have kids these days, there was an assortment of drinks for the kiddos. When I spotted the table of Capri Sun from across the way, I simply had to push a small child out of the way to help myself to a sip of nostalgia. The Pacific Cooler flavor tasted exactly like childhood, and somehow both better and worse than I remember.

   

   Growing up, I brought my lunch to school often and my favorite drinks had to have been the red Squeezit ‘fruit drinks.’ I don’t know what was in these, and I don’t WANT to know what was in them, but I can tell you there’s nothing like a sip of room temp Chucklin’ Cherry from a plastic bottle that you just ripped the tab off, and then proceeded to chew on for the rest of lunch. Nothing like it!

   

3. JoJo ALMOST Met a Cat Today

   As you may know, I take JoJo with me to the pottery studio I attend classes at, and today, Dillon the stray cat was loitering outside when we arrived. I thought, oh maybe this will be the day when JoJo meets a cat for the first time, and well, watch the video above to see how that went!

   
   Maybe next time!

4. Lots of Leftovers

   This week, I made one of my favorite Instant Pot recipes, BEEF BOLOGNESE, and friends, it is so good every single time. That said, because my partner doesn’t eat meat, it makes enough bolognese for me to eat it for every meal for about 2 weeks. Which, I’m not COMPLAINING about, just saying… it’s a lot. If you missed it, check it out below.
   

5. Tiny Drawings by

   One of me favorite follows on Substack has been Samgar Renkema. Every day he’s been sharing a new drawing from his 100 day project, and it’s something I find myself looking forward to every time I log on. Each of the drawings is its own scene, while being a part of the little interconnected world he’s building. It’s delightful and fun and you should check them out.

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This Instant Pot pasta bolognese comes from Pressure Luck Cooking, and mama it will make you scream BOLOGNYAY. Or something like that.

I can’t remember how long ago this recipe was brought to me, but I do know it was PRE COV-19. And I’ve made it a dozen or more times since. That’s how good it is, dear.

Now don’t ask me about the nutritional facts. I don’t know, and that’s frankly none of my business. What I can tell you is that it has two pounds of beef in there so you’re gonna get your protein LIFE.

And this kind of protein is at least 100x better than Khloe Kardashian’s protein popcorn, am I right?

My favorite part of this recipe, aside from everything, is that it has an entire box of Boursin in there. Liiiiiike you know how much I love Boursin? Maybe you don’t but I’m telling you right now it’s near the top of my favorite cheeses list. And that’s not easy to do. Not every cheese can say that!

So all this to say if you’re looking for a nice meal for yourself and/or your family, this is easy enough for me to make so I promise you can do it too.

This bolognese is 100% Rucker Report GAY GUY APPROVED™.

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Meet more Blahbs below and let us know if any of them are currently visiting you today!

For more about the Blahbs, check out the article below!

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2. Louis Vuitton Trunks

   I FINALLY got to see the Louis Vuitton trunks on 57th street at the location of the future flagship LV store. The installation is actually a brilliant cover for the scaffolding surrounding the building during renovation, which started in October 2024. It really is hard to believe this is real until you see it for yourself. The detail on the hardware is actually incredible. A rough estimate of the value of these Louis Vuitton trunks, if they were real, is approximately $50 billion (based solely on my very minimal knowledge of LV). Definitely worth stopping by!

3. Speaking of incredible design…

   

   Get a load of these ENORMOUS urinals in the PJ Clarke’s bathroom. It’s hard to describe just how big these were. They were the size of bathtubs and looked like the ornate molding on the side of skyscrapers. For a second I thought to myself “I wonder if I could fit my entire body inside one of these,” but luckily I stopped myself from trying.

   
   I honestly don’t even know how I feel about them, but I took a photo because I thought you should see.

4. Yes, we spent $48 on butter.

   I recently saw a reel on Instagram during a 3am scroll that stopped me in my tracks. The creator featured the ‘butter service’ at Quality Bistro in New York City, and it was a spectacle like I’d never seen before. Given that we were just a few days away from a trip to the city, I booked it immediately, and friends, I’m so glad I did. Barrett’s video does it more justice than I ever could, but just know it WAS worth it. I was admittedly worried that the butter service was just a gimmick and a spectacle and that the rest of the meal would be lacking, but friends, I had a magnificent steak frites (and they did provide a portion of gluten free bread and butter just for me) and it was all 10/10 Gay Guy Approved.

5. GIVE US MOM!!!

   One of my favorite things about NYC is that it’s absolutely filled to the brim with art and interesting things to see, even if I don’t understand it all. I took so many photos, and I could’ve taken 10,000 more. It was so nice to spend most of the week completely off of social media and just enjoying everything that was in front of me. Including that dog wearing thigh-high boots on all four legs. New York has everything!

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Fun fact about hydrangeas: did you know Madonna ‘absolutely loathes’ them? It’s something I think about every single time I think them. I have no idea why she hates them, and frankly I do not care. But I do love telling people about it.

2. I heart Jim Morris Tees

   In elementary school I was a proud member of the Environmental Club, the Space Club, and any other club that my science teacher, Mrs. Jones sponsored. I remember when we had the environmental club meetings, we would peruse the latest and greatest environment-themed t-shirts from I THINK Jim Morris Environmental T-Shirt Co., which I recently re-discovered online. I’m a huge fan of whales so this is one I simply had to have. They’re all hand-illustrated and incredibly old school. Love it.

3. Speaking of Tees…

   

   Just want to shout out the clothing store Uniqlo, whose AIRism Cotton Oversized Crew Neck T-Shirt is essentially my daily uniform. A few years ago, I decided that I would establish a daily uniform rather than try and come up with something snappy to wear every single day. For one, it simplifies shopping, and for two, I literally never ever have to think of what to wear anywhere. I’m someone who gets more stressed than necessary over literally anything so the idea that I can get a shirt that comes in a variety of colors and dress it up or down depending on the occasion is one of the greatest things to happen to me. Plus they’re comfortable and relatively cheap. Try them is all I’m saying. (Affiliate link, not sponsored.)

4. I found 25 photos of a blue jay in my camera roll

   As I’ve previously shared, I’m becoming a birder as I get older. And earlier this week, I stood at my office window and just watched this blue jay. I only just now realized that I also took about 25 photos of it just sitting there. And you know what? I’m proud of it. These are great photos, and he seems like a cool guy, despite blue jays’ reputation for being incredibly noisy and even aggressive toward other birds.

5. We’re going to NYC!

   Barrett and I are heading to NYC this week to see some shows (will report back on that, of course!), which means our dog JoJo is heading to camp, aka my parents’ house. She loves visiting her Gigi and Pops, but I will miss seeing her little face staring at me at all hours of the day waiting for me to drop a treat for her. So I’m sharing this photo of her here for you to enjoy the stare too.

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And rather than just click away and move on with my life, I decided to launch a full investigation into this campaign.

According to a landing page for the “Nearly Home with Reba” campaign, homebuying is near and dear to Reba’s heart simply because it is:

It is a role that the famed songstress doesn’t take lightly, she explains to Realtor.com on the set of her new campaign, and one that she believes is a very natural fit.

Homebuying “is not only a serious subject, but it’s also something that is very near and dear to our heart,” she explains. “People are putting up their hard-earned money, their savings, and they want to find the right place.

“[Things like] the backyard, the front yard, the closeness of a school or a church of their choice, all of those things come into play. And if one is not there, it’s like a little piece missing from the puzzle of the pie.”

While these sentiments aren’t not true (the backyard and front yard ARE very important when it comes to home buying) it still doesn’t explain why the “Does He Love You” songstress was specifically the best choice as the face of Realtors.

I did some digging and found out the campaign was conceived by Austin, Texas-based GSD&M agency and includes several short commercials disguised as a sitcom where Reba pops in for no reason to talk about homebuying. I won’t lie: she is definitely working for this check!

Something VERY wacky to see is that each of the most recent Reba-starring videos has over 10 million views in just a few weeks, with one achieving 33 million views!!! Compared to other videos on the Realtor.com channel hardly reaching 100 views, it’s clear that the Reba effect is massive (though, more than likely these massive views can be attributed to forced viewership via sponsored pre-roll ads).

Still, despite almost-definitely paying heavily for tens of millions of views, the agency and the brand must be thrilled. I found a panel below where they talk for nearly an hour about the commercials as if they’re a sitcom—even referring to the latest batch of commercials as “season 2.”

The panel also included a representative from TPA, which is an agency whose sole purpose is pairing celebrities with brands for massive campaigns. Despite having years of experience myself in the world of advertising and brand communications, I didn’t even know that there was an entire agency whose responsibility is to convince other agencies that someone like Anna Kendrick is the perfect person to sell Keurig machines.

That said, while watching this panel way more than likely anyone else on earth has watched it, they did point out something important: Reba’s celebrity and Reba’s impact spans generations. From boomers who know all her music to millenials who grew up watching her sitcom, she is instantly recognizable and appealing to a broad market of prospective homebuyers.

OK, I swear this post is not sponsored by Realtor.com (though if you’re interested in working together, please reach out).

So I guess despite not really making any sense, it does make sense at the end of the day. And Reba must be happy too! I mean the payday had to have been enormous for the Fancy singer to agree to co-sign on the following quote about how jazzed she is about Realtor.com’s amazing tools and listings.

"As I learned more about Realtor.com^®, I saw how they have amazing tools for home buyers and sellers, are the most trusted site by real estate professionals and have over 500,000 new listings a month – and I was sold… pun intended!" says Reba McEntire. "A home brings a sense of comfort, relief and belonging that everyone deserves. This new campaign will help people become more positive, energized and hopeful about their home search. When it comes to something as important as your home, you want the best team on your side."

All in all, in conclusion, to sum everything up: I’d like to congratulate Reba and Realtor.com on the success of their campaign.

But I’ll probably still use Zillow.

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