I just watched The Company Men with Ben Affleck and Tommy Lee Jones and it got me thinking about the collapse of loyalty within today’s workforce.

Based on the 2008 financial crisis, this fictional-but-inspired-by-real-life film follows three employees at different power levels in a company as they face mass layoffs.

The hot-shot salesman, laid off. The manager, laid off. The first employee (and should’ve been co-founder?), laid off.

You hear the term: no one wants to work anymore.

No. No one wants to work for you. Why don’t employees have loyalty for companies anymore? Because companies don’t have loyalty for employees.

The Facts

Let’s start with an easy to digest stat:

• In 1960, 18-22% of the American workforce had been with the same company for 30+ years

• In 1990, 10-12% of the American workforce had been with the same company for 30+ years (pre-2008!)

• In 2020, less than 4% of the American workforce had been with the same company for 30+ years

In 60 years, one single generation, the percentage of 30+ year employees had fallen over 14-18%.

To someone who might’ve been 15-20 years old in 1960 and was 75-80 years old in 2020, it sure would look like nobody has any damned loyalty anymore.

In 1983, 50% of men in the workforce, aged 55 to 64, had been with their current employer for 10 or more years. By 2020, that number had fallen to 33%.

Not only are lifers going extinct, a decade is now rare! And that’s for Gen X!

The Why

Big scale, macroeconomics and financial crises aside, let’s look at a smaller, specific stat.

• Employees who work at one company for more than two years earn up to 50% less in their lifetime as opposed to those who switch jobs regularly.

  • This is slightly aggravating. I’ve worked at my job for over three years now. Is two years not an insane metric? Not five, not ten, two years.

• Job switchers can increase their year-over-year salary up to 2-4% MORE than annual raises to job stayers.

This stuff is seemingly all coming down to pay. But what about mass layoffs by a faceless corporation? Why would you have trust then?

Why don’t companies value their current employees to pay them more?

I’m not an economist so I’ll quit blabbing before someone gives me a technical answer. Point of the matter is this: if employees could get ahead by staying at one company, they would.

For Your Consideration

I want to be a loyal employee.

I would love to work at one place for 30+ years. Imagine how comfortable you must feel.

But the days of trust and loyalty are over.

In 2024, I saw my mother slowly choked out of her workplace after 30+ years due to a new boss and then slowly forced her out of the workforce as she got sick. They wouldn’t work with her at all to get her a little closer to her retirement age or benefits minimums. I lost a lot of respect for any company after that.

I saw my father-in-law forced out in the same fashion and into retirement after 30+ years. That was just a few months ago. First the new demands and technology that didn’t apply to his job. Then the work improvement plan. Then he finally retired.

My father, forced to retire to become a full-time caretaker of my mother, retired with 28-some years with his company as well. He was forced to retire almost 6 years too early because they wouldn’t let him continue to work from home so he could look after my mother.

If that wouldn’t destroy any loyalty in you, then more power to you.

Me? I learned an easy lesson. Look after yourself first. Because your boss sure won’t.

I had a horrible start to this year.

People close to me are sick, others close to me have died, and stress of it all drew a wedge between me and people I love.

I am someone who consistently looks forward to the new year. I love looking back and reflecting on what I accomplished or my shortcomings from the ever-quick previous 365 days. It’s not often that I am a month or two into my new year, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, that I find myself completely crushed by life.

Maybe that’s just age. Maybe it’s just life.

I was anxious. I was depressed. I was bothered.

At the same time, I decided to start this Substack. In all my articles and notes, I’m actually preaching to myself, in some weird-21st century version of what Marcus did so many centuries ago.

At some point I had to face the music.

I spent more time with my sick mother. I attended the funeral and paid my respects. I had the tough conversation with the people I had shut out.

I don’t feel anxious. I don’t feel depressed. I don’t feel bothered.

I feel relaxed. I feel indifferent.

How to let go

First and foremost it is important to remember that what you are worried about can most likely be resolved easier than you think.

Arthur Brooks has an excellent technique in how to ease your anxiety about something that is causing you angst.

Get out a piece of paper and pen and write these:

1. The absolute worst, most horrible situation that could happen

2. The best outcome in which all parties come together perfectly as you would hope

3. The middle ground and most realistic outcome

Then you walk away for fifteen minutes and come back. Read your three possible outcomes again. You’ll be surprised how silly the worst outcome seems to you.

In most instances, the future will fall closest to the middle ground outcome you predicted.

If that doesn’t work then it may be time for some deep breaths and meditation.

Some deep breaths and meditation

I’m not talking a thirty-minute sit down with your legs crossed and repeat a mantra.

I’m talking simpler than that.

If you’re anxious, take three deep breaths, as deep as you can. Then exhale even deeper. Focus on your breathing.

Then continue to breathe deep but focus now on clearing your mind. Once your mind is clear and your body is at rest, think of what is bothering you.

Now tell yourself it does not bother you. Tell yourself that it doesn’t matter. Be nihilistic for a moment and convince yourself that nothing matters.

This might be getting close to a mantra after all.

Picture yourself where you are in the third-person, now imagine a camera on you that pans outwards from you slowly, then quicker… then quicker… then it’s out of your house… it’s out of your town… Finally all you can see is the entire world from space.

Think of how insignificant your problem feels now.

Face the problem

Unfortunately in life, facing your fears head on is rewarding, satisfying, and the ultimate stress/anxiety reliever.

I’ve quote this before but it has never been more apt:

“Where your fear is, there is your task.”

- Carl Jung

Have that conversation with the person you’ve been avoiding (within reason of course, do not allow someone back into your life that causes harmful drama that you can live without until they have proven they can change).

Ask your boss for a raise, sternly. If you’re valued enough, they’ll give it to you. If not, move on. You owe the company nothing. In fact, I just did this myself recently, and I’m proud of doing so.

Face your fears. There’s a whole life out there just waiting to be lived. Once you’ve faced your fears, you’ll feel stronger, more stable. Everything you were worried about will, all of a sudden, feel so unimportant.

The things that used to worry you no longer will. You’ll feel indifferent when someone tries to harm you.

“Misery loves company, but you need not accept the invitation.”

For Your Consideration

Times can feel bleak. Often it is because we are avoiding something. Avoiding the tough conversation, the difficult task, the perilous road.

When we face these fears head on, we tackle anxiety at its core. The relief is almost immediate—at least it is for me.

What started off as a horrible year for me, the worst on record, seemingly kept getting worse as bad news piled on and piled on.

To top it all off: a few weeks ago we found out my Wife is pregnant. For that, I am extremely grateful and elated.

Oh, what a beautiful year it has become.

Cheers,

Ryan Bennett

I created a new marketing strategy for brands to follow to create leads and stay relevant in the future wave of AI search.

It was created for small and mid-sized businesses but it can be applied to any personal brand.

If you are not a paid subscriber of The Reprieve and would like access to all of our exclusive Assets, like this future-proof marketing strategy, consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5/month.

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Overcoming any addiction is never an easy task. The same is true with a scrolling addiction.

I’ve mastered the art of killing my phone periodically. I am no longer owned by the algorithms that think they know me. It comes naturally to me now—powering down the phone for who knows how long.

But it wasn’t always this easy.

In the beginning, I felt that itch, the pull to check my phone because what if someone was trying to get ahold of me?

I learned through dedication and discipline to overcome these feelings.

I’ll share with you the simple steps that I take every weekend to be present.

The Steps

In a few simple steps, you can ensure that your day of digital detox goes the distance. It can be difficult to turn your phone off for an aimless amount of time and simply expect your will to last.

By being intentional with these easy steps—your weekend of presence will remain uninterrupted.

1. Be Intentional

A weekend of presence doesn’t happen by accident. You have to decide to be the sovereign of your time before the clock strikes 5:00 PM on Friday. If you’re not deadest on going without your phone, you won’t make it. It really is an all-or-nothing thing.

Set the phone aside and be intentional.

2. Resist the Urge to “Check In”

The “quick check” is the trapdoor back into the cage. We don’t check in with the digital world because we need to; we do it because we are afraid of the silence.

One quick check for any missed calls will quickly snowball into replying to emails, checking TikTok, and more.

3. Embrace the Friction

Real life is “thick.” It has texture, delays, and boredom. When you step away from the frictionless ease of a glass screen, things take longer. That is the point. Learning to love the friction is how you know you’re finally awake.

It’s easy to pick up the phone and let it dominate your attention again. You must resist the urge when your phone is next to you as long as possible. I can’t tell you how many times you’ll slip back into the scrolling. But as long as you detox periodically in your free-time, it will never own you again

These three shifts are the foundation. But ‘how’ you actually navigate 48 hours without a digital compass requires a plan. I’ve built the Weekend of Presence Checklist to be your field guide—a step-by-step tactical map to ensure you don’t just survive the weekend, but reclaim it.

A day spent is your life spent. Invest in your sovereignty. You can download the full, high-res checklist in The Assets now for only $7/month.

Download the Weekend of Presence Checklist:

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The research is in. It’s out there.

It’s been out there.

Screens and phones are not good for us. Social media has been proven to worsen mental health. The quick hits of dopamine are bad for our long-term emotional balance.

We know this.

Perhaps, we’ve known it the entire time.

How could something not be bad for you when you spend so much time with it?

The saying “everything in moderation” is easy to point out in moments like these. You spend two or three hours a day, maybe more, looking at your phone, but what about your computer, your TV? Soon enough it is Fahrenheit 451 with screens all around us. Maybe it already is!

Imagine drinking alcohol for that many hours a day—what would that make you? You would probably be called an alcoholic.

Step away

The easiest way to stop using your screens is simple: step away.

If you go to the grocery store, bring a written list, not an app or your phone, or you smart watch.

If you go out to eat, don’t bring your phone. I promise they won’t accost you because you lack the capability to scan their QR code menu. You are not the first nor will you be the last person they interact with that doesn’t have their phone on their person.

I consistently venture out without my phone and I prefer life that way.

If I could, I would always go out without my phone. But I can’t. I need it for work or for this or for that, as we all do.

But that means I need to build in time to go without it.

After 9pm I try to stop looking at it. I don’t let my phone demand my attention that late at night. Neither should you.

For your consideration

I’ve written about it plenty by now, but I feel the message bears repeating.

You weren’t born with a phone in your hand. You shouldn’t have it on you all the time.

Put it down and stay a while right here in the present.

You’ll be surprised how much you notice in your boredom.

In 1980, roughly .05% of high school basketball players made it to the NBA.

By 2010, only .03% would make it to the NBA.

Today, roughly only .02% of high school basketball players across the United States get drafted into the NBA.

The same child in across forty years, with the same talent, has a far less-likely chance of making it “big” in their industry due to a rising barrier to entry.

The exponential rise of skill inflation, international competition, early adoption, and pay-to-play culture are killing the world of the beginner.

Skill Inflation

I wrote briefly about the disappearance of hobbies recently in which I broke down why simple hobbies are disappearing—how many people just don’t seem to do anything extracurricular anymore.

The main point of that article was that complexification, capitalization, and more are causing your normal hobbies that people used to have (scrapbooking, table tennis, etc.) to die out.

This phenomenon is something different entirely.

Depending on who you talk to, this is Skill Inflation or The Red Queen Hypothesis. I like Skill Inflation.

Skill Inflation doesn’t just apply to sports or gaming, it applies to business and social media and most life as well.

Skill Inflation is simple: as time progresses competition naturally forces player 2 to get better than player 1 in order to best player 1, thus forcing new player 3 to get better than player 2, creating a cycle of besting elevating the skill floor of said game.

This is all well and good for players 1 through 100, but what about player 5,000? In the beginning, it might not have taken long for player 2 to best player 1, but as the cycle progressed, it becomes increasingly difficult to beat the top dog.

Look at Michael Jordan. Many fans of the game argue that Michael Jordan would be an average player in today’s NBA. I can’t say that I am in that boat, but the argument is surely interesting. Let’s be honest, if we stuck 1980s Michael Jordan in a current game, he would likely appear average or worse: not great. But that’s because he hasn’t had the opportunity to best his competition. His competition spent decades studying him and innovating off his unique moves, elevating the skill floor.

That’s why people think he wouldn’t do well in today’s game. Those who know ball know MJ had an insane work ethic which is what helped him work to become so dominant and he would likely be able to elevate himself to the requisite skill in today’s game as well.

Continuing on with the basketball analogy, I think back to my days of playing ball.

When I was in elementary, even middle school, we were terrible. I think back on how we thought we were Rajon Rondos or Kyrie Irvings but we weren’t. We were awful. A few of us were probably decent. But we sure weren’t stars that young.

Then I see a random video of elementary kids playing today and it blows my mind. The way they move, their celebrations, their skills are so far above and beyond what ANY of us had when we were younger. In the same vein, we were the talented kids compared to our parents’ generation and so forth.

I also think of video games. How Fortnite was relatively fun and exciting to play back when it first launched until gamers perfected building techniques and became so good at it that even skill-based matchmaking wouldn’t prevent you from going up against someone who was way too good at that game.

Adults used to be able to come home from work, play some CoD, casually carry the team off a few beers and move on with their life. That’s not really the case anymore unless you’re willing to sacrifice your 5-9 every single night.

Competitors are forced to rise to the challenge of their rivals… All others must rise up or fall behind.

International Competition and the Internet

Back in the day, your only competition were those you could see in front of you or those on TV. You didn’t have 8 billion competitors you had however many people lived in your city or played on your team.

Now, despite your industry—and you better believe it—your competition is in the billions. (Okay, yes I’m exaggerating a little bit but that number is up there!)

American high schoolers used to only compete against Americans until the Dream Team inspired a whole new wave of players that paved their way into the NBA.

Now, international players take 30% or so of NBA draft slots. And that hole is widening.

This is the same for your YouTube account, your favorite game, and everything else in which you think you want to succeed in. Millions out there are already doing it, doing it perfectly, and doing it better than you.

Stay tuned this article isn’t completely depressing.

Early Adoption

The skill floor has risen so much that kids are forced to develop their insane talent earlier than previous generations (or maybe their parents are forcing them). This is true for all areas of life.

Kids in high school used to come out of graduation with a few college credits in my day. Now they’re coming out with half their degree or three years completed.

Athletes are given one sport, chosen by parents or whatever they may have been naturally gifted at, and that one sport is their focus through their whole life. They live, eat, breathe that one thing. I’d be shocked to see a three-sport athlete make a professional team of one of those three sports in twenty years. That’s how much harder this will get.

Pay-To-Play

One more thing that’s rising the barrier to entry is the pay-to-play culture.

To start a hobby or try to succeed at something, there’s all these things you have to have. I wrote about this in my other article briefly.

In reality, these things don’t make you better. Your talent and hard work does.

However, what about recovery technology or training gear? If one family is able to afford all the training gear and recovery gear in the game and one can only afford a ball? Given they have equal talent, equal genetics, and equal drive/will, then the child with the tech and gear will likely go farther. (Don’t bring up the Rocky scene)

It’s as simple as this: I played tennis when I was younger. Our city does not have indoor courts and we live in the midwest. This means over half the days of the year are unplayable. Other cities in my state do have indoor courts. Because of that alone, we usually got our butts kicked by the teams from those cities.

In the business or social media world, I think of Gary Vee.

I keep hearing him repeat something in videos which I find interesting. He asks people how many pieces of content they posted yesterday, then he says he posted some absurd 300-some or more pieces of content across a bunch of different profiles the day before.

That’s insane. But he isn’t creating, drafting, posting those himself. He has a team.

This isn’t a knock on him—far from it. He’s earned his team. But that’s the Pay-to-Play in effect. He’s paying for a team that is keeping him ahead of his competition on social media and in business.

How are you, as a new user, alone in the world, likely with limited time, supposed to compete against the Gary Vee’s of the world?

For Your Consideration

I said keep reading because it’s not all depressing and so far I’ve lied.

But I’m not lying anymore when I say this: none of it matters.

If you work harder, put in more quality effort, and focus on your craft, you will succeed.

Because in all honesty, the kid with all the wealth and all the toys probably doesn’t have the drive and hunger as the kid who doesn’t.

More importantly, it’s never too late. Algorithms change all the time. Rules evolve. The game moves. Life is fluid.

And if you are just in it for the love of the game? More power to you.

Solvitur Ambulando.

A Latin phrase that translates to “it is solved by walking.”

When I need to clear my head, I arise from my bed and head out the door (please forgive my triple rhyme, it was quite unintentional).

For years, this has helped me mentally. A good, long walk (without your phone!) is perhaps the simplest and surest route to level-headedness that heaven has endowed us with.

As one does with a passage needing philosophical input, I think I’ll quote Seneca now:

“We ought to take walks outdoors, so that the mind may be nourished and refreshed by the open air and deep breathing.”

Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind

Seneca directly addresses the physical and psychological necessity of stepping outside to restore focus and clear away mental fog. Even a single whiff of fresh air is often enough for me.

Truly, what problem that exists only in your head cannot be solved by a good walk?

Solved is perhaps a stretch, but how about eased?

A walk is to the mind what a balm is to dry lips. It soothes you.

Perspective

That world outside your door is mighty vast. We can find ourselves stewing over our small problems in our small bedrooms and feel like the world is ending.

Oh, how the Earth doth stand still and I know it to be true that death must be nigh!

Well, maybe you’re not that dramatic.

However, exiting that little room and entering the great outdoors will remind you how small you are. How much bigger the world is. How small your problems are. How insignificant your anxiety truly is.

Get up and go for a walk! It will make all of your problems feel smaller.

Small-Wins

Feel like you’re taking loss after loss?

Go for a walk (and I guess make that bed) and sense the immediate reward of a small win.

Because it is a win. And a win is a win no matter how small. Once you believe that, the world can throw nothing at you that you can’t handle. Don’t believe me? The Bible says something similar. Believe that.

“Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing itself.”

— Zeno of Citium

I don’t know if I believe in the existence of small steps.

For Your Consideration

I think that the title of this article remains true beyond just a simple walk.

The true phrase I am inspired by today is: Depression can’t hit a moving target.

After such a busy few weeks with my wife, I turned to her and realized that I had not felt forlorn in quite a while. But alas, I had not the time to feel sad.

I think there’s some wisdom in that statement. Not to busy-up your life but to remain active, rather than sedentary. To stay active and engage with this big world and all that it has to offer. Isn’t that really why we’re here?

Except on Sunday evenings. On Sundays we watch House of the Dragon.

Get out and move a little. Clear that fog up.

I’ve noticed a trend of late with hobbies.

I’ve noticed that the simple “hobby” seems to be disappearing but it’s not for the reason one may think.

At first blush, I thought that hobbies are disappearing because people are getting lazier and spending more time on screens than using their hands or minds.

However, I believe there are a few more tactical reasons why they are going the way of the dodo bird.

The complexification of hobbies

The primary reason for hobbies disappearing is that they have simply become too complex now.

The over-capitalization and influx of helpful products has made hobbies too complicated. To start any simple hobby, one does a simple Google search and is bombarded with how many products they will need to start.

Take writing a novel. Let’s say someone has always thought about writing a novel and decides today’s the day!

They do a quick search to find out how to start writing a novel.

The AI overview shows you all the things you need like this real example:

No, no, no, no!

This is way too complex!

How do you write a novel? What do you need to write a book?

Step 1: sit down at a table.

Step 2: write.

What do you need? A pen and paper or Google Docs/Microsoft Word.

Realistically, your first novel won’t make you the next John Grisham, so why are we making this so complicated right from the start?

Yes, yes I know. All the extra toys and research and planning are helpful and good for you—but a large percentage of people won’t make it to page 1 if they start by reading this list on how to write a novel.

That’s just one example. How many more can be overcomplicated?

What do I need to play tennis? A racquet, a ball, and a net. But Google would probably convince you that you need a top of the line racquet, a training ball, and all other technologically advanced equipment that costs too much money.

How do I start scrapbooking? Print off photos and tape them into a binder.

These are obviously oversimplifications, except the fact remains: if you look up how to get into a hobby, you’re going to get some awfully complicated advice that might deter you from beginning at all.

The capitalization of hobbies

The second reason hobbies are disappearing is due to money.

Hobbies don’t seem to exist just for fun anymore. Every hobby seems to be started only to make money.

I’ll be honest here and call myself out, I started Substack to hopefully make a little more money on the side. I’ve been writing for over a decade so I didn’t quite start blogging just to make money, but this Substack was certainly influenced by the possibility.

Want to collect cards? Most people care more about the worth and re-sell value of cards than the art and the fun of collecting.

Want to start posting edits on TikTok? Try not to look at how many followers away from monetization you are.

Want to try painting? It wouldn’t be that difficult to set up an Etsy page to sell your work!

Get the point?

How many hobbies are started out of pure love for the game anymore? The thought of monetization adds an extra layer of complexity to the hobbies and if you don’t make money quickly, it can be difficult to continue.

For your consideration

As always, I am sure millions of people start new hobbies everyday with no want for money.

But the point is, it adds to the layer of difficulty to start a new hobby. The barrier to entry has grown exponentially.

In the end though, with whatever hobby you want to start, all you have to do is just start. Don’t Google how to start.

Just begin.

Many of us live our lives constantly bothered by other people and their actions.

Whether we’re cut off on the road by a speedster, the victim of a nearby loud-talker in a quiet restaurant, or offended by a friend who has hurt your feelings, your emotions can be controlled.

Controlling your emotions can be difficult, but it is certainly a skill that is worth the time to master.

Here is how to not get offended by anything:

How to be unbothered

There are many ways to control your emotions but I am not here to list all of those out for you. A simple Google search will do that for you.

Here are The Reprieve’s best practices to staying unbothered:

1. Awareness above all

It is impossible to remain unbothered if you do not catch yourself in the act of being bothered.

We are humans, we will not always be able to just remain calm and carry on despite how hard you try.

However, if you catch yourself when you become annoyed or angry, you can begin to reframe your anger.

2. Reframe your anger

Catching yourself when you’re angry is the most important skill you can develop.

The second most important skill you can develop is reframing your anger or bother.

When you find yourself upset or annoyed, change your frame of mind like this:

• Someone cut you off on the freeway during rush hour? Don’t honk your horn and flip the bird. Instead, think to yourself, “He must be running late for something.”

This is a trick of Arthur Brooks that I love—it’s changing the event from an emotional reaction to a factual statement.

• Your friend left you on read and did not reply? Maybe they were truly living in the moment and had something else going on—you are not the center of their lives.

3. Remind yourself that you are a hypocrite

Most likely, the odds are that you’ve committed the same act that has you bothered.

Are you not guilty of cutting someone off in traffic when you’ve been running late?

Have you not delayed your response to a friend because you were caught up, or simply didn’t have the energy to?

By remembering that you have probably done the same, or worse, to others in the past, you can more easily forgive others when they do it to you.

4. Stay calm and carry on

The final stage is the hardest.

Just remain calm!

Breathe deeply through your nose and relax! Do not allow minor irritants to break your concentration on things that are more important to you.

I like to picture a relaxed individual resting on a beach in the Caribbean with a margarita in hand. What minor faults could truly bother someone in this state?

For your consideration

It’s easier said than done. But then again, everything I write about usually is.

Simply put? Don’t let others bother you.

After all, they know not what they do.

And frankly? People usually are not trying to offend you, just as you aren’t to others. Picture it like some sort of twisted, inverse golden rule.

Anyway—stay calm and carry on.

Death by a thousand recurring subscription charges.

I am far from the only person in society that is sick of subscriptions. It’s not the dollar amount that is causing my sickness, rather it is the complexity that ails me.

Capitalism discovered the peak of financial commerce traps and we’re all suffering for it. As cable fails and streaming subscription prices soar, where are we to go?

I wish I had the answer.

All I can say is that the subscription model is heading towards a burst. Even here, right on Substack, subscriptions are, frankly, exhausting. (But obviously you NEED to subscribe to my Substack and pay me!!!!)

Every service is trying to sell you into a cyclical payment so they can keep you as a customer for a long time.

And for some reason, we feel like we need Netflix. Or Spotify. We feel like we can’t live without these services.

I’m reminded of an article I read a few months ago, The Death of Spotify, in which Joel discusses the impending doom of streaming.

Most of these platforms are losing money. Users are frustrated with rising prices, yet prices must rise in order for the businesses to spin a profit. A failure of this bubble is certainly coming soon.

With no alternative yet on the market, what will we move to?

I have wondered if we will go closer to a Substack/Patreon model where you pay the artist “directly” and subscribe to specific creators or content rather than one platform’s entire library.

Instead of getting free access to Kendrick Lamar’s next album on Spotify, you’ll pay $10 to buy it. That number almost sounds insane now. But that’s how it used to be all the way up until Spotify and Pandora beat out iTunes and CDs.

I don’t know where we’re headed for certain, but I can tell you, it’s exhausting managing so many subscriptions.

At the risk of coming off as cheesy on this Saturday morning, I think we should discuss friendship.

I’m sitting here watching the famed television show, Friends, and my mind began to wander. Now, regardless of what you may think of the show, there’s an elegant message in the story: the importance of friendship.

I’ve spent a few years disappearing off the Earth. I've quit social media, I’ve stopped reaching out to people, and I’ve stopped accepting invitations to outings from most people.

At first, I thought this is what I wanted but take it from me: it can be lonely.

My wife and I can be very reclusive but we’ve realized that seeing some friends consistently and engaging socially is crucial for our mental health.

By simply leaving our house or hosting friends at our place, it changes the whole dynamic of your day. Talking with friends can exercise your brain in a much needed way.

Having friends around and being able to complain to someone is so important. It’s just as important for your friend too.

They can be a burden. They can be expensive. They can bring drama into your life.

But in the end, you need them.

Don’t disappear. Be there. Someday you’ll need them to be there for you.

In the summer of 2023, I was inspired.

This was not my typical inspiration that results in the creation of a song or a script, I wanted to challenge myself.

I decided to write my first novel.

Heavily inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises, I set out to write For All Things Finer.

The writing process

I touched on this a few weeks ago but I’ll briefly mention it again.

It took me, all in all, about two and a half years to write. But a large majority of it was actually written in about a year’s time. I had many stretches of life where I found myself not touching the page for several weeks to months.

This happened until early 2026, when I started waking up at 5am everyday to work on the novel’s final drafts.

In only a month or two, I had finished the novel. I finally had something detailed and complete. Something that was wholly mine.

I hadn’t worked on something that long my entire life. My albums would take a year at the most, my scripts half that.

This was different. There was no easy way to write it. There’s no trick, no round-a-bout way to write. You must simply sit and write. You must put in the time.

And I am proud to say loudly in 2026 that no AI was used to write For All Things Finer.

A brief synopsis on the plot

Set in 1971, For All Things Finer follows five friends as they drift aimlessly through a European vacation, running from a deep, shared grief. Malcolm Bancroft, a quiet businessman, finds himself vying for Lady Amélie Auguste’s affection just as her engagement to a French Duke begins to fracture. Amélie is caught in a quiet psychological tug-of-war, forced to navigate the inherited power of the Duke, the steady kindness of Malcolm, and the raw, reckless ambition of Harry, a rising filmmaker.

What begins as an elegant, sun-drenched tour through Italy and Belgium quickly dissolves into a pressure cooker of proximity, isolation, and substance abuse. The underlying tension finally breaks in France when a series of escalating confrontations forces a drunken, reckless night that irrevocably crosses a line. In the aftermath, Malcolm prepares a silent departure, turning his back on Amélie and the wreckage of their tour. With everything left unsaid, Amélie must fight for a proper goodbye before the group scatters back to their individual lives for good.

While it may not be the most groundbreaking or unique idea out there, I can say that it is mine. And I can say that I successfully set out to write a slow-burn novel that does not reward you easily.

If you pay attention and find the unspoken dialogue, the between-the-lines drama, you’ll enjoy it.

I am currently in the process of querying and may decide to self-publish down the road. I hope that someday soon I’ll have the opportunity to share it with you all.

For now, I’ll continue on my second novel.

Cheers,

Ryan Bennett

When was the last time you powered your phone down unprompted?

Not right before a movie or an important meeting, but of your own volition. When was the last time you decided to go without your digital appendage?

For me, it’s every weekend. I turn it off consistently and it is the most freeing feeling in the world.

But why does holding that power button down and walking away feel so difficult?

Power Down and Walk Away

Even for me, after months of powering the phone down, I still feel the gravitational pull of my phone. I still want to check for missed texts or check the weather.

It gets easier but that feeling will always stick with you. But you do get used to it.

I used to want to scroll my phone in the boring moments of life but now I find myself realizing the minutia of life again like I did as a child.

But in order to get to that point, you can’t shut your phone down and sit next to it. You have to put your phone in another room and walk away.

Put it down and go somewhere else. Even better? Leave the house without it. I have never felt more free than when I am out in the world without my phone.

Popping in at a friend’s house unannounced, unsure if they’re even home? That is completely unheard of for my generation. It felt borderline criminal of us to stop by unannounced. But it turned into one of the best afternoons I have had in a long time.

Important caveat: if my wife is not with me, I will have my phone on me. If we are together or near each other, I will then go without my phone.

For Your Consideration

Maybe this brief article was a bit of a waste of your time, but I wanted to remind you simply: we are not born with phones in our hands; you do not need to live the rest of your life from behind the POV of your camera.

Set it down, go outside, and live.

There’s a whole world out there just waiting to be noticed.

Cheers,

Ryan Bennett

Perhaps the most heartbreaking fact of death is that life moves on.

Losing a loved one abruptly interrupts everything in your life for such a short period of time. The closer they are to you, the more grace you’re given—but not as much as it should be. Not as much as you’d want.

A processional at a funeral freezes traffic just long enough for the hearse and its respective grievers to pass by. And as soon as it does, the traffic returns to its regularly scheduled commute.

This seems like the simplest metaphor for death and loss. It pauses things for just a moment. Only a moment.

A word on Grief

Even after the traffic returns to normal and you return to your office, you cannot pretend that nothing has changed within you.

You ache to text your loved one, to tell them you miss them. But you no longer can. And you’ll never get that chance again.

When nothing else has really changed, how are you able to hurdle the obstacle of your grief?

Death is no felled tree in the midst of your path to cut down and simply clear the road anew. Grief is far from an Everest-like climb that ends at the summit of your trials. Loss is not an open wound that can be banded and stitched and healed by nurse nor miracle.

Death is an immovable boulder that even Sisyphus would find a challenge. Grief is a hill that even Sisyphus would admit never ends. Loss is a pain that never subdues—one that could darken and take a turn for the worse at any moment.

I am reminded of a quote:

“What is grief, if not love persevering?”

Vision, WandaVision

If grief is love persevering, then I’d contend that memory is life living on.

We are given a memory for a reason. To remember a life lived.

For Your Consideration

Your grief is not meant to be overcome.

If it love persevering then let it persevere. Let it take ahold of you. Let it break you down, let yourself cry. Let yourself mourn. Let that love and the absence of love wrap you in a storm of loss.

For going through this storm is the only way to learn to live with it.

Grief will not leave you. One day, you’ll wake up and you’ll go to work and you’ll realize you didn’t feel an urge to reach out to your loved one. You’ll smile a moment, thinking that the hurt doesn’t hurt anymore.

And then you’ll cry. Because you’ll realize the hurt didn’t hurt anymore.

And then you’ll smile. Because the hurt still hurts.

If we do not bend, we break. But I think we’re meant to be broken a few times in life. Maybe many times.

This year hasn’t been great to me. But I’m still here.

“And yet I smile.”

King Ezekiel, The Walking Dead

I’m still smiling. Not because the hurt doesn’t hurt anymore. That grief is still with me. It’ll stay with me for a long time. Perhaps forever. But just because life and the rest of the world have moved on… doesn’t mean I’ve moved on.

Our memory of our loved ones may bring us to tears. That is a good thing. For if they are in our thoughts, then they live again.

Grief is surely just as simple as a visit from an old friend. One whom we will see again one day.

In 2023 I decided I wanted to write. This time, I wanted a project that I could really sink my teeth into. To stress over, mull over, and pen and scratch until I had nothing left to write.

I decided to write my first novel.

I didn’t know what I wanted to write about, but I knew there was a story somewhere in me worth telling.

This is step 1:

Find the story you want to tell

I had written several short stories and several scrips by 2023 so I wasn’t starting from ground zero writing-wise.

I had one character who kept coming back into my thoughts and short stories—Malcolm Bancroft. Inspired by Jude Law’s portrayal as the narrator in The Grand Budapest Hotel, I decided my novel would revolve around him.

Finding the story was the hardest part, and something that I could’ve done better outlining from the beginning.

My biggest mistake was not having the plot clearly defined and outlined definitively before I typed my first page. I had the characters, but the plot came to me as I wrote. I wouldn’t recommend doing it that way. But, I knew the main struggle Malcolm would face and the main ideas and theme. That’s all you really need to start.

And thus, For All Things Finer was born.

Write like there’s no tomorrow

This simplest difference between doing it and not doing it is… doing it.

It’s going to take months, most likely years to write your first novel.

I spent a few months to a year slowly outlining and figuring it out before I truly committed.

In late 2024, I felt I had wasted so much time. I was only 20-30 pages in and felt like the finish line was a decade away. At that pace, it kinda was.

Then something changed in me. I became disciplined. I decided I needed to finish this novel for myself. To prove I could.

So I sat my butt down at my laptop in my office every night M-F for a few hours, sometimes as little as 30 minutes, sometimes as long as 3-4 hours. I wrote on the weekends and spent all my free time grinding. I finished the rest of the 250-odd pages in about 2-3 months.

Put it in a drawer

The editing page was easily the hardest part for me. I had the same struggle editing as I did in my early days of development.

I put it in a drawer for about a month or two to detach myself from it so I could edit ruthlessly and honestly.

When I came back, I hardly recognized my own writing. And most of it needed a lot of work.

I printed it off, and red-penned the living hell out of it. After about 6 months of painstaking, commitment-lacking editing, I finished editing. Do not skip the editing process—no matter how good you think it may be, it needs editing.

Then I sat down for round 2: apply all the edits I hand wrote.

Edit then edit again

My second draft was where I hit my stride. I edited the entire novel in about 2 months after taking a new approach—writing every morning at 5am.

Once I finished? I started from the beginning and went through and edited it again (without reprinting and red penning this time).

In February/March of 2026, almost 3 years later, I exported my final draft of For All Things Finer.

For your consideration

It took me 3 years. It could have been 2. Maybe even 1 if I hadn’t taken so long to get motivated. But once I did? I locked in and hit my stride.

You want to write a novel?

Do it.

You want to write a novel?

Ignore what the gurus say and the outlining processes and the “10 things to know before you start.”

You want to write a novel?

Don’t research your genre or find what the market wants! Find a great story that only you can tell and tell it! Because only you can tell your story!

What do you do after?

I can’t answer this one. I am currently in the process of querying and it is a very humbling experience in and of itself. I almost think it is harder than writing the novel itself. I could self-publish and maybe I will someday.

But I wrote a novel. I wrote something no one else has written before.

I brought a small character from short stories years earlier to life and developed it into a beautiful journey of grief and friendship (never heard of a book like that before right??).

But I wrote a novel.

I wrote For All Things Finer.

I wrote a novel. And you can too.

So go sit down and type.

In January 1981, Jimmy Carter left Washington not for a corporate boardroom or a high-priced speaking circuit, but for a small, debt-ridden peanut farm in Plains, Georgia.

He was fifty-six years old, a “failed” one-term president in the eyes of the media, facing a million dollars in debt and a public that had moved on.

Most men in that position would have chased the wave. Carter chose the quiet life. We could use a few more politicians like Jimmy Carter. Ones who don’t want to bask in the public-eye or use elected office to make more money. Ones who want to get some work done and move on.

Return to the Dirt

Carter’s return to private life was a return to the physical world. He didn’t just own the farm; he worked it. He and Rosalynn spent the first years of his post-presidency writing and laboring to pay off their creditors. To Carter, the “dirt” wasn’t a step down; it was a return to the only reality that made sense.

“I have one life and one chance to make it count for something... I’m a simple person, and I’m much more comfortable with the life I’ve led since I left the White House than the life I led while I was there.” - Jimmy Carter

Stoicism meet Carterism

His discipline was rooted in a rigid, almost Stoic faith. In the woodworking shop—his true sanctuary—there is no room for political spin. A board is either level or it is not. Carter applied this same ideal to his honesty. He was often criticized in office for being “too honest” or “too rigid” to play the political game.

Out of office, that rigidity became his greatest strength. Whether it was teaching Sunday School for decades or the hours spent on a Habitat for Humanity roof, he operated with a quiet, tireless discipline that ignored the cameras.

For Your Consideration

Did he prefer it? His actions say yes. Carter lived in the same modest ranch house he built in 1961 until the end of his life. He chose the 18-hour workday of the volunteer and the craftsman over the luxury of the elite.

“The thing I’ve enjoyed most about my life is not the presidency, but the things that have happened since then. I’ve had a chance to do things that I never thought I would do.” - Jimmy Carter

He proved that the most disciplined thing a person can do is to stop caring about how they are perceived and start caring about the work in front of them. For Carter, that work was best done with dirt on his hands and his eyes on the level.

Just because your work day may be done, that doesn’t mean your day’s work is complete. If you can do more, do more. If you are tired, do it tired. If you see a need, fill a need.

For us, Carter was a great man. Show me someone with the same ideals and work ethic as Jimmy Carter and I’ll show you where my vote is.

I’m driving my usual morning commute as Daylight Savings and spring have ushered in a much-needed earlier sunrise. I go to work at 6:30 a.m., so I don’t get much of the sun before I am stuck inside working for the day.

I hit a red-light and admire the cars around me. I can’t help but sneak a peak at the drivers to see who owns such vehicles.

On my left—a grey Acura MDX with blacked-out windows—no owner visible. I can’t even see an outline of a person. For all I know, it could have been a Tesla self-driving vehicle.

I look to my right—a black Ford F-150 with even darker tinted windows. Suddenly, I realize nearly every vehicle around me has tinted windows. I felt alone. I pictured myself alone on a train car at midnight—that’s what it felt like.

It may not seem like a big issue at the surface, but it’s my contention that trends like this and other products alike are leading to a more unfriendly world—or at least, a world that feels unfriendly.

It’s Not Our Fault

Nothing you or your neighbors did were of any blame for the decline in friendliness. Even if you have tinted windows, it is hardly your fault that our world has become less amicable.

Most new vehicles now come standard with darker windows. Many are simply darker in the rear but many vehicles are dark all around. To not be able to look across the street or to your right or left and even see a face anymore has taken the humanity out of traffic.

I don’t see myself in queue with tens or hundreds of other people, I see myself in a parking lot by myself.

Here are some other products that are rising in popularity that have created a less-friendly world:

• Noise-Cancelling Headphones

• Tall Cubicle Walls

• Curb-Side Pickup / Door Delivery

• Ring Cameras

• Tall Fences

• Self-Checkout Kiosks

• Social Media

When you think of each one individually, they seem like they enhance your quality of life or maybe even increase employee efficiency by a few points. What they’re really doing is conditioning us all to become less social and used to dealing with technology over humans.

I am no conspiracy theorist or anything like that so I won’t say that I believe this is being done purposefully. But I don’t think this is good for anyone.

Think of the last stranger who said something abruptly to you in public. I’m willing to bet it was an older gentleman or lady. Their generations are so much more social and talkative than the younger generations. It can feel like pulling teeth when saying something out-of-the-blue to a younger person. With older folk, it’s second-nature.

The loneliness epidemic is certainly the effect of many causes but these causes are certainly part of the effect.

For Your Consideration

Before you get those tinted windows, think twice about it. Before you order contactless delivery, think about going and ordering in person. Instead of using self-checkout, run your items through the manned-checkout lane.

Take a lonely and automated part of your day and put the humanity back it.

Have a brief interaction with another human. Complement a stranger in the aisle. Help someone if they’re struggling to reach an item. Shop without your noise-cancelling headphones.

Connect with someone. Smile.

For all you know, they could really use a smile in their life. I know I could.

P.S. if you agree with me, you may find this video by Sheehan a most worthwhile watch.

I recently watched an interview of the former US Presidents by the TODAY show. Jenna Bush Hager interviewed Clinton, Bush, Obama, and Biden for America’s 250th anniversary and one thing that former President Biden said stuck with me.

He said:

“I’m not sure we’re as divided as we are portrayed.” Former President Joe Biden

I can’t seem to move on from that quote. Biden has as much reason as anyone to call this nation divided. His name, character, family, entire livelihood and being has been dragged through the mud and abused—by both sides of the aisle. Yet, he sits here, two years post presidency and can still say he doesn’t think America is as divided as it seems.

If he can think that, after being the target of name-calling and political slander for nearly a decade, then I think he may just be right.

Right vs Left

The title of my article and the content of my rhetoric must not be matching right now in your head but I promise I am getting to a point, as slowly as I usually do.

Our government has taken the shape of a democratic republic with a two-party system. I think you knew that already. Republicans and Democrats have been the dominant parties for roughly 170 out of America’s 250 years’ existence.

In order to get elected by your country, you must first gain the favor of your party. In order to gain the favor of your party, you must “toe the party line.” Vote with your party, speak like your party, and look like your party. Party favor holds candidates in line all the way to the White House. A politician simply cannot get elected President without the support of his party—see the Democrats 2024 wipeout as they were too slow to pick a favorable candidate and get all their support behind her.

A party system inherently limits what kind of politicians you are likely to see. For every liberal Republican, there’s 2 far-right voters. For every conservative Democrat, there’s 2 extreme-left voters. You get the point. Only those that fall somewhere between extreme-left and far-left will gain the favor of the Democrats and only those that fall somewhere between the extreme-right and the far-right will even smell a podium mic at a party convention.

This creates the “divide” we feel today.

We’re listening to politicians spout the same party-liners that we’ve always heard… except they’re angrier. They’re more aggressive. They’re just a bit more red or a bit more blue than they were 20 years ago.

That’s because the internet wants you mad. And rage-baiting is the most effective attention-grabber in the toolshed. See my deep dive article on that here.

I see people often say they want politics to be boring again but do you? Will you even notice the candidate who stands on the podium nicely and doesn’t rock the boat and doesn’t have an extreme stance on every issue?

You won’t.

Because he or she won’t be on the stage debating. Because they didn’t make headlines and they didn’t get free name recognition from viral videos with 1 million arguing-comments.

Get the point? We’re not as divided as we think we are. We’re just listening to people who are doing everything they can to take power and to keep it. They’re saying anything they can to get ahead and to paint the other guy as evil. Both sides have been guilty of this for a long time.

And if you don’t believe me—I present to you:

"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolved, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles.” - Thomas Jefferson on the Federalist Party

Rhetoric can be moving. But hateful rhetoric is motivating. It gets your blood pressure up. It gets you to Pokémon-go-to-the-polls.

But at the end of the day? There’s really no division between you and the person next to you at the bar or the cinema.

For Your Consideration

It may feel like our nation is cracked right down the middle with hazard lights flashing on both sides while Sirens attempt to lure you in. I think it’s important to remember that we truly aren’t as divided as we think we are. I like to think Biden is right. At the end of the day, Americans are Americans.

Political differences and, unfortunately, political violence have always been a thing in this nation. If someone has to say what they think a little more aggressively to get a vote in 2026, then they’re going to do that.

I’ll leave you to the rest of your weekend with one final quote from the same interview:

“The beauty about democracy is that it’s self correcting.” - Former President George W. Bush

I ran a media brand called The Extra. I successfully went viral again and again and amassed a decent following on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube in that order.

Before I dive into it, I suppose I should prove that I had the follower count that I say I did.

So here are the receipts:

TikTok

The first to blow. I started with only a TikTok account.

Instagram

If memory serves, this account had just hit 233k when I deactivated it. The rest are still public except this one. I deactivated to fossilize the page for a potential return someday.

YouTube

Full disclosure: I quit posting on YouTube two years ago at under 20,000 subscribers. My subscriber count has doubled since I quit.

Twitter

Viral posts but obviously did not have as much success.

Going Viral

Perhaps you’re looking at these numbers and thinking, “well, it isn’t a million followers so it wasn’t that successful.” Or maybe you’re looking at this and realizing that you once followed me!

Either way, my point is not to gloat. My point is to prove that I have experience in the realm of social media and what I say on the topic can be trusted.

If all of that wasn’t enough, perhaps you remember the beginning of the AI video deepfake movement as hundreds upon hundreds of people used a new AI tool to put the likeness of famous people and characters over a video of Lil Yachty walking out on stage during a performance…

I didn’t create the AI, but I did post the Lil Yachty video. There’s my claim to fame. If you look closely in the corner of this screenshot, you can see my original logo for The Extra in the corner. Or watch the original video right here if you don’t believe me.

I’ve had posts go viral on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, hell—even iFunny. I’ve been around the block and back again on trends and trending pages and I figured out exactly how the algorithms worked.

I had it locked.

I mastered it.

I was aiming for a Barstool Sports level of success and trending for it too.

Then one day, I gave it all up. I stopped posting abruptly. Deactivated the accounts and moved on.

What it cost me

Summer of 2023. It was hot, sticky, and COVID-free. My 23 year old self and my friends were ready to spread our wings post-2020.

I had just moved to a new city, post collegiate graduation with my girlfriend, who didn’t know she was about to become my fiancée.

The Extra had captivated so much of my free time, I couldn’t think about anything other than getting another post to go viral. Or how I was going to grow. Or a rebrand initiative. Or positioning ourselves as the next media giant. Or how we were going to start monetizing. I was lost.

It was fine in college when I had all sorts of free time. I spent two hours a DAY editing videos and posting on social media.

Once I had moved to my new city, I gathered some friends and brought them into the fold. I wanted to monetize and I needed help—I couldn’t just repurpose copyrighted content anymore, it had to be original content. So I needed some talent. Once we moved, I had to keep up my pace. So I spent two hours every evening editing and posting after working my big boy job from 8-5.

I got three or four guys in rooms and started a podcast, the Deepcut Podcast, which still holds up for the few short episodes we did (in my most humble, most subjective opinion). Then I added Off The Press satire news, a Weekend Update rip-off of-sorts.

Adding original content to the repertoire doubled my hours. I was now putting in 3 or 4 hours a night as my aging MacBook could not handle the 4k podcast footage and three mic setup. I was spiraling towards a burnout—quickly.

Then we received the news.

My mother was diagnosed with Major Cognitive Impairment due to Early-Onset Alzheimer’s at 54 years old.

My world came crashing down.

I couldn’t edit what felt so unimportant.

I couldn’t continue The Extra as it felt useless. I had no idea if it would ever start generating money or if it was a gigantic waste of time. I questioned everything around me and what was important. Do I only have thirty years left, too?

So I sat down with my girlfriend and asked her one simple question.

I hadn’t written or made music in the two years I worked on The Extra. If I quit, I could focus on my art that would last beyond me and would satisfy me. Or I could continue The Extra and possibly have a big money maker in the future, despite not being something I love doing.

All-in-all, without much debate, The Extra was given a foreclosure sign and I returned to the shadows to make music and began writing my first novel, For All Things Finer.

I finished that novel in March of this year. Since 2023 I’ve also written two television pilot scripts and I am working on my third. I am about to begin working on my second novel. And I have released SIX musical projects/albums.

What I Learned

Life is so short. It passes us by. I was terrified I was going to look up from my computer and realize I missed it all.

I deleted my social media apps. I stopped responding to texts and calls instantly. I powered my phone off and chose me. Chose right now. I licked my wounds and attempted to heal parts of my that will always hurt, but they hurt a little less today.

I learned that social media is fleeting. It may be a necessary evil now for artists and businesses alike but we’ve strayed so far.

It hurts me to see so many prostituting their values and beliefs for a few likes, followers, or rage-baited comments.

We conform to the radical left or the radical right or the oft-excluded radical middle to gain a cult following that turns their back on you when you misstep off the party line.

I learned that a negative comment can ruin your day. I learned that people are angry. So angry about so many things. Without fail, a comedy video of mine would result in a comments-argument. An all-out brawl with often racial or the worst epithets hurled out just to tell somebody else that their opinion was wrong or that it was stupid.

I learned that the internet is not a good place.

That something that relies on human input cannot ever be a good place. Because where there is human input, there is human corruption, human greed, human hatred, and human anger. We are not all born angry and corrupt but we are certainly, inherently, corruptible and irascible.

I learned that not one follower, one interaction, not one comment, nor 10,000 subscriber milestone, or million-likes reel made me happy.

I only wanted more.

So I gave it up.

I gave myself less.

The absolute truth? I still miss it. I miss that feeling of hitting post and seeing a thousand likes in minutes. Ten thousand in ten minutes. Waking up to 200k likes overnight on one post.

The human brain isn’t meant for that kind of attention.

The older I get, the more I realize that maybe we’re just not meant for attention.

Maybe I’m just not meant for attention. And that’s okay. I prefer the porch to the podium anyway.

There appears to be a stigma toward medication in regards to treating depression and anxiety. People are either for it or against it.

Some say you only need a good walk and a good attitude to be happy while others claim that only a pill can fix them.

The answer is much more nuanced than any of that. There is not one correct, tried and true way to cure your depression or anxiety. In fact, not one thing will ever make you feel better just like that.

On the contrary, several factors combined can help you. There are several changes to your life you must make if you seek to lessen the impact of your anxiety and depression.

But here’s the kicker—you can do everything right and have a great life and you still may feel melancholy. One of life’s greatest ironies.

Lincoln’s Melancholy

Abraham Lincoln’s “melancholy,” as it was then called, was not a fleeting sadness but a foundational part of his character, likely triggered by the early, compounding losses of his mother, sister, and his first love, Ann Rutledge.

It manifested as a clinical, bone-deep despair that famously led his friends to put him on “suicide watch” during his thirties and left him prone to bouts of near-catatonic gloom.

Despite his rise to the Presidency, the weight never lifted. He managed it through a combination of self-deprecating humor, relentless work as a “distraction,” and a deeply fatalistic philosophy. He didn’t “fix” his depression with the primitive medicine of the 1860s; he simply learned to carry it as a necessary burden while navigating the literal dismantling of his country.

He carried it. Until his untimely death in 1865, he carried it.

It reminds me of a quote from King Ezekiel in The Walking Dead.

“And yet I smile.”

No matter how bad things got, Ezekiel repeatedly said that line. As stoic as stoic gets—whatever happens, happens.

The Real Cure

Pills, long walks, deep breaths, counting to ten, none of these will magically cure you.

I am not a doctor and far from any position to give any sort of medical advice—but I can say with a certain air of confidence, having struggled with life-long depression myself, that not one thing can cure you overnight.

Instead, a combination of several factors will help you.

Eat better. Stay hydrated. Drink less alcohol. Engage in fewer drugs. Exercise routinely and aggressively. Walk far and wide. Medicate as recommended by your physician if necessary. Cut your screen-time… You get the point.

Everything in moderation.

For your consideration

Let me end by saying this: there is nothing wrong with you or the way you feel. Everything you think is the result of conditioning from a society that has placed more value on its bottom line than happiness. Social media has worsened things for us all.

You should never feel embarrassed because you’re sad or forlorn or anxious, it’s a flaw in the human condition, not you. Everything will be okay.

The last few years have been a gauntlet of tests for me—family illness, loss, and the tightening grip of financial struggles. It feels less like a season of bad luck that keeps on coming. Somedays I can’t quite see Spring on the horizon.

And yet I smile.