Human Nature

• Everyone at some point dwells on their past and sometimes it can control the future if we are not careful.

  • Living in the past of what could have been done differently can be helpful up to a certain extent.

The Decision

• The best remedy for regret is to learn from what could have been done differently to hopefully become more than the content of our minds.

  • If we spend all our time here we may never become the person we want in the future.

Some people say don’t let the past dictate the future.

• I would say our past isn’t who we are. Or we are not our mistakes.

  • What really defines someone is how they relate to their experiences in a more constructive manner.

• We can take the lessons from the past to become a better version of ourselves rather than it becoming our identity.

• Whether it’s a relationship or a crisis that could have been handled differently every mistake is an opportunity.

  • There is a window to either keep dwelling or continue learning.

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The choice is ours to make.

Life Is Learning About Ourselves

• Im no love expert, and ultimately this post is not about love. It’s a way to understand the world and our place in it.

• And that fulfillment never comes from things outside of ourselves, it only comes from within ourselves.

Society Has Lead People Astray

• Culturally society whether they like to admit it or not, believes in love that more often than not leads to suffering.

What is this love you may ask?

• It’s the love that we seek from other people rather than receiving it with a detached mindset.

What do I mean by this?

• The most depressing fact of life that people with a strong character will realize is that anything we desire tells a story about our internal suffering.

What does this look like?

• Whether it’s someone giving us validation for an insecurity through romantic relationships (I’m not attractive because people have yet to view me as pretty)

aka: Not feeling attractive because you don’t believe it to be true

• Or if I desire to be the perfect person (aka me ha ha) I will risk destroying myself by trying to prove it to myself versus just believing it.

The Illusion Of Chasing Happiness

• Dogs Get The Privilege of Chasing

• In a nut shell, society has not set people up for success, happiness, and fulfillment in life. It poisons people with the illusion that happiness exits outside of ourselves.

So what does this have to do with true love?

• The simple, but harsh reality that many know deep down is that we can only receive the love we give to ourselves.

• So in the context of relationships (romantic or not), we can only receive the love we have already given to ourselves, not the love coming from another person.

Tragedy and Beauty Are Friends Unfortunately

• The most pleasurable and beautiful things in life have the potential to cause the biggest of tragedies.

  • For instance, suicide ultimately occurs from having little to no self worth.

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And what does this come down to?

Our ability to love ourselves.

Now I know what you might be thinking . . .

“He doesn’t believe people should experience love in romantic relationships.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth and I will tell you why.

Relationships are wonderful, but tragically not in the way that most people desire.

Key word here: desire.

What I Know To Be True at 22

• My personal opinion as an inexperienced young person, is that romantic relationships can often fail because our fantasy of how relationships should look does not meet up with reality.

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For instance,

Fantasy, my partner is my other half.

Reality, we are the only ones that can make ourselves whole.

Again:

Fantasy, I’ll only be happy in relationship if I find my soul mate.

Reality, the idea of a soulmate is never true in real life.

Why Say Things That Are Dark and Depressing?

• Because at the end of the day the truth can set us free only if we can accept the price.

Nothing in life comes without a price.

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• As my grandfather would say, “There are no free lunches.”

  • Now he said this to me in the context of his more conservative beliefs.

• But whats so funny whether you're conservative or progressive is that it’s objectively true.

Objective Truth Can Come From Places We Least Expect

• This isn’t about politics, but ultimately anything can teach us about life depending on our perspective.

  • The reason I say this is because relationships teach us what true love is:

• Something that you discover within yourself, rather than seeking it out through external validation.

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We Cant Control Some Things, But Can Still Choose

• I’ve been through many trails in life. Including negative thinking. No matter how much work people do on themselves I have come to realize the inevitability of negative thinking.

• But our choices dictate our level of suffering.

The Human Condition

• Although we live in a modern world, people are hard wired towards negative thinking.

• What kept us alive thousands and/or millions of years ago has now become the culprit towards fulfillment in life.

  • This part of our bran that is skewed towards negative thinking still does a wonderful job and keeping us alive when its needed. But more and more this mechanism can create more problems than it solves.

Hardwired For Negativity

Its Hard To Change Our Programing

• According to research, people have a tendency to think negatively about 50 percent of the time.

  • This is great for immediate threats that could directly harm or kill us, but not when it comes to living fully and freely.

Recognition Comes First

• Awareness proceeds change. I am definitely still mostly in the stage of awareness with brief moments of change that come along the way.

  • Writing this newsletter is part of this process of getting myself to a stage where I can hold myself accountable through writing.

Back to awareness proceeding change . . .

• When in comes to negative thinking, awareness is only half the battle. The real work begins when behavior begins to change.

Everything Has Tradeoffs

• The catch with changing our behavior is that its uncomfortable.

  • This may be confusing because thinking negatively about ourselves is already uncomfortable.

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Familiarity Kills

• However, its familiar. Sometimes the most destructive patterns towards our selves can still be the most comfortable because of familiarity.

  • In my opinion this is why changing negative thinking towards objectivity and critical thinking is one of the hardest things someone can do.

• I can attest to this as I immediately want to run back to the warmth of my den, away from war I must face within myself.

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The Most Frightening Relationship

• The most frightening relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves.

  • Only we can set ourselves free and cant burden others with the task no matter how hard we try.

Owning Our Path Is The Ultimate Act of Courage

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

- Buddha

• The Buddha understood that only we can be the ones to set ourselves free.

  • No one can do it for us. Whether it’s negative thinking or low self worth, we are the ones that must face ourselves nakedly in the mirror.

• The reflection we see physically or metaphorically demonstrates who we see through the lens of our own thoughts.

The Hardest Part

Letting go of the things that no longer serve us can be grueling.

• Recognizing your personal breaking point

  • This hits us when we realize the pain of staying where we are is far greater than the pain of change.

  • Eventually the laws of nature force us to comply. Ultimately its up to us to decide when we have arrived at this point.

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My Process

• I believe I wrote this article because I believe my tolerance for staying stuck in negativity will soon reach its end.

  • And hopefully the same for anyone reading this.

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We Just Need The Right Ideas

• I naturally like to make things more complicated than I have to because I think I solving something. I’m only making it worse.

• People have a tendency to think of everything in a complex way.

The Challenge Of Assumptions

• If we assume a problem need complex thinking because its complex, than the problem will just become harder to solve as it becomes more complicated.

  • Now if we dismiss our assumptions of things needing to be hard, because its a hard problem, this gives us the space to view things more simply.

• Most complex problems are like a lock. Next to impossible to unlock unless you are skilled in lock picking.

  • Thinking in first principles allows anyone to make a key that unlocks any complex problems.

• Elon Musk’s space X involves no easy takes of getting an entire rocket in the air. Elon knows that getting the rocket in the air is no easy task without the proper foundational assumptions in place.

  

  Nuts And Bolts Literally

  • Rocket Fuel (Right Blend)

  • Heavy Rocket (So Lots of Thrust)

  • What could go wrong versus what could go right.

• These are just a few examples of how Elon thinks. If Elon was stuck in the weeds of complex logic and calculations, the most important parts of getting the rocket in the air could go over his head.

Thinking In Micro and Macro Detail

• Many successful entrepreneurs have the ability to think in a overly detailed and broad manner.

• The trade offs to thinking in one over the other is that something is bound to go over your head.

Thinking Like Writing an Essay.

• Thinking in macro detail is like writing a thesis for a long English or research paper.

  • No paper can be written without the underlying claim.

• But just a claim alone is baseless, just like a rocket needing a platform. All the parts and construction of the rocket can be intact, but nothing can function without a solid platform.

Taking Powerful Perspectives

• I some ways thinking in terms of first principles allows someone to see the underlying challenges to be solved within a problem.

  • If it cant be broken down in this manner, a complex problem begins to seem unsolvable as it remains complex.

• Just like flying a rocket sounds like a monumental task, it will remain an impossible task without the foundations of a rocket.

The Blinding Nature of a Superior Intellect

• Over confidence can come back to bite us in the butt if we don’t have humility.

  • Humility solves problems because it is the recognition of what we don’t know.

• Knowing what we don’t know isn’t rocket science. Its wisdom.

  • The fuel for thinking in first principles is wisdom.

  • Multivariable calculus does nothing for rocket science without having a clear idea of the problem being solved.

Skill is pointless without effective application.

• Knowing what we don’t know is thinking in first principles.

• Its about as basic as it gets.

Thinking simply in order to think hard.

• But few of us do it as were stuck in the weeds of a problem rather than trying to stand up tall to see the horizon in front of us.

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Anything that’s hard can be simple, and anything that’s simple can be hard. It ultimately depends on the perspective we choose to take rather than how “smart” we are.

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• Choose wisely.

• Ways to think outside of the box isn’t always obvious because we have to think outside the confines of society.

Nothing In Life Is Free

• With thinking outside of the box comes scrutiny. But is the scrutiny worth it.

Everyone’s Capable, It’s A Matter Of Choice

• Few decide the risk of speaking out is worth the opportunity to become more than the status quo.

My Struggles With Staying In The Game

Decipline Trumps Motivation

• As a new writer its sometimes hard for me to maintain motivation to keep going.

  • One, things take time if your trying to build an online profile that requires compounding.

Consistent Commitment

• The gretater the level of engagement and commitment, the more compounding occurs.

• However, I struggle with the fact the compounding is an invisible force to be reckoned with.

So what is compounding?

• Those how understand business and finance often view it as exclusively to how to grow money.

Putting It Into Practice and Patience

• Without gettting mathematical, compound interest is one of the forces of nature that can grow anything exponentially.

• The challenge is that an exponential curve doesn’t start out fast.

All Seeds Take Time To Grow

• Just like a plant cant grow without good seeds being sewed first. Patience comes with knowing the seed will sprout 🌱 We cant see what’s happening underground.

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In Life

• In business or entrepreneurship, or anything in life I have had a particularly difficult time with being patient with the process of compounding.

• I can sew good seeds by following the principles of what is required to grow as a writer, but don’t get the reward of my work even though it’s still working.

Practice Makes Progress

• Many leaders online I’ve heard say all work works.

  • Meaning when we work hard at our jobs we become accustomed to the immediate gratification of getting payed right away.

• Delaying gratification while believing we can reep the rewards of the seeds we sew, can create riches beyond imagination.

Developing An Entrepreneurial Spirit

• Working hard and being educated only goes so far in order to be successful in life.

• These aren’t my words.

Wisdom Goes Farther Than Anything

• These are the words of people like Warren Buffet.

• He claims “the number of people who love you is the best measure of success when you are nearing the end of your life.”

It’s our spirit that shines through the most.

• From what I’ve heard over 90 percent of business fail within the first five years.

  • I don’t know if that’s a measure of not letting compounding do its work. Maybe its trusting the work to work for us.

Pillars Of Progress

• But regardless we can just learn from our mistakes along the way.

• Trusting ourselves can be part of our success.

• If we’re open to seeing it that way, and we can choose to learn from mistakes

Transformation Takes Time

• For the longest time I’ve had this struggle and have noticed it especially come up as a new writer as I continue to try and find my voice.

My Inner Critic

• Often I get thoughts like “Oh you’re not really doing that well because you haven’t gotten any payed subscribers.”

• Or “Oh you’re not really a good writer because you aren’t getting many views.”

Back To The Pillars Of Progress

• When ultimately all work works, and its hard to accept progress while the reward needs more time to propagate as more skills are required.

• I think anyone including myself can develope the spirit of an entrepreneur. But it takes thinking like one to become one or act like one.

Thinking Entreprenuerially

Take Risks

• Understand Mistakes. Don’t Repeat Them

Challenge the Norm

• Solutions come from thinking outside of what cause them

Become A Leader

• Bring out the best in others and yourself

Work To Serve

• This taps into focusing on the process instead of the profit.

• Enjoying what we have in order to be greatful of what we recieve.

Independent Thinking

Leave a Legacy For Your Family

• Intergenreational Whealth

• And people knowing your family loved you. (Most important)

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• The hardest of choices breed the strongest of wills.

  • In any profession people who have the strength to make the hardest of choices end up being the ones on top.

Success Isn’t All IQ

The Greatest Investor Of All Time

• As famous investor Warren Buffet claims, your don’t have to be a genius to be a good investor, you just need to have good temperament.

  • What Warren means by this is that successful investors aren’t necessarily the analysts or statisticians on Wall Street; it can be anyone, as long as they don’t let their emotions get the best of them.

My Own Insecurities

• For the longest time I thought IQ, or academic performance was a predictor of success. Turned out I was wrong.

  What’s most important in life.

  • It’s a matter of being resourceful and having the emotional strength to get through the hard times in life that supperceads the ability to do multivariable calculus.

  A Stroy of Financial Abundance

  • In the case of Warren Buffet, time has been on his side in addition to his character, although he is a very smart man.

  A Self Starter

  • Warren started investing as a teenager and speaks about his best performing companies having an enduring competitive advantage.

There’s More Than One Way To Be Smart

• These are companies that differentiate themselves as the top performing companies in their market.

  • When it comes to finding these companies, no amount of calculus is involved.

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Be Aware

• One of warrens top performers, pays him over half a billion dollars in dividends annually.

Take Opportunities

• Warren acquired Coca Cola because he saw the potential they had in the growing market of soda brands back in the 1980s

It’s Not All About The Numbers

• No amount of calculus and little statistical analysis was useful for Warren. He just saw Coca Cola’s potential and went for it.

Almost Everything In Life Has Risk

• All big decisions in life involve a certain amount of risk. The fear of being wrong can overcome our ability to take opportunities the greater rewards.

  • The only reason Warren is one of the most successful investors of all time is because of time and temperament.

Poor Temperament Can Create Devastating Consequences

There’s Always A Storm ⛈️ Waiting To Strike

• During the 2008 financial crisis, while everyone was panicking and selling stock, Warren was pushing people to buy.

  • The biggest moments of fear have the potential for bigger rewards as long as we come out the other side.

• While people were sellling stock, Warren was piling into his companies with his so called enduring competitive advantage.

  • Warren made it to the other side of the panic as the markets tumbled. Held onto his stock and reaped the rewards on the way back up.

• The market rose back to its previous highs within a year. But those who panicked and sold everything, lost everything, and never recovered.

  • Those who let their emotions run their internal compas were the ones that suffered the most.

• Warren just held onto his great companies with the unwavering belief they would rise again.

On The Other Side

• Since the crisis Warren has continued to reap the rewards of his investments while having a net worth of over 100 billion dollars.

  • No amount of IQ could save everyday people and investors on wall street who let their emotions run them off a cliff.

A Direct Correlation to Therapy

• My therapist I used to see would describe a similar situation with fear.

  • But in his case he was a pilot.

• One of the most dangerous things a pilot can do, according to him, is to not trust his or her instruments. Especially when flying through the clouds with no sense of direction.

  • This phenomenon is known as spatial disorientation. This can be a death sentence for pilots if they listen to the panic that persuades them they must turn.

The instruments

• What my therapist emphasized is that the mind is like spatial disorientation. If you trust everything thought and feeling that appears the probability of making poor decisions increases drastically.

Biology

• Humans are hardwired to listen to their reptilian brain. It’s the reason we’ve survived. However our modern environment causes our brain to falsely assume certain things are life threatening when they are not.

  • In the case of being a pilot, not trusting the instruments that show the plain going straight, over the panic that compels you to turn the plane can lead to certain death.

• This is why my therapist said he had to constantly remind himself not to trust his thoughts and emotions, and instead trust the instruments.

• And the same goes for trusting every thought and emtion that can drive everyday decision making.

Being Balenced

• Being smart IQ doesn’t garuntee success in life as long as the quality of our character combined with emotional strength is clouded by our own ignorance.

Warren Is Smart: But it doesn’t embolden him.

• Warren possessed the emotional strength during the 2008 fincial crisis to trust his companies that have proven to survive for decades. Listening to the panic of everyday Americans and those on wall street could have been a disaster for the billions he had already earned.

  • IQ can be essential but as soon as it leads to overconfidence in our decision making, it can be our own undoing.

The ego doesn’t like to be questioned, it just likes to run the show.

Thoughtful Decision Making Outperforms Intelectual Ignorance

• When you’re feeling down or insecure about your intellect just know that the quality of your character will always win through.

  • The smartest of people (IQ) can make the poorest of choices in life.

• Sometimes there is too much of a good thing and we need to make sure we are being balanced.

Identifying Factor

• Our intellect doesn’t define us. Our character does.

  • It’s impossible to work with smart people whose ego is too big for an entire room of people.

• Having quality character and the willingness to learn, while admitting when we’re wrong will always outshine someone who is intellectually ignorant.

Application Makes Innovation

• Having knowledge means nothing if we don’t know how to apply it and assume there’s nothing more to discover.

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  • Become better, but not in the way you think. Develop your character and make the hard choices no one else will.

Radically Accept Life

• For the longest time I struggled with accepting the idea that anxiety might not go away permanently. What matters is our relationship to the things we are unable to control. It’s instinctual to want to “fix” something like a broken arm. Unfortunately the brain is different. I can’t control my brain chemistry, but I can control the choices I make. Everyone has this power including you.

• The friend that likes to bother us time and time again doesn’t like to keep quiet. And it’s okay to take a break from them every once in a while. However, there’s a difference between avoidance and self care.

  • Self - Care: The ability to do things that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Like exercise meditation or anything that anchors us to the present moment. My personal favorite is nature.

3. Self Compassion

• Similar to self care, self compassion is just as important. Anxiety is the opposite of self compassion. As a relentless worrier anxiety doesn’t like to be kind to us. Therefore, the best thing we can do for anxiety is to kill it with kindness.

  • For instance, when was the last one you were compassionate and critical towards at the same time. Maybe except for a rare few, I think this isn’t possible for most people. Like earlier we have the ability to choose our attitude. The unhelpful thoughts anxiety churns out may be unhelpful still, but it’s up to us if we take the bait or not.

• The inner critic is like a fish hook 🪝 Take the bait and the fisherman will pull you up and out of the water with no hesitation. Resist the temptation to take the bait, and there’s nothing the fishermen can do besides create more enticing lures. Even then, it’s still our choice whether or not to take the bait of our inner critic. Otherwise we get eaten by the fisherman.

4. Breathing

• An underrated skill breathing can do wonders for the body and mind. Although there are many techniques involved, what matters is focusing on whatever breath technique. Everyone has a different method that works for them. There is no right way. Personally I breathe in and out through my nose. Breathing could also be considered an act of self care, but it’s a little different because breathing is what we need to survive. Not just to calm down. So next time you’re anxious remember to breathe. Our lives depend on it.

5. Respond vs React

• Call things out when you know they aren’t helpful. Like degrading ourselves over something that isn’t worth your time.

  • Responding: A balance between using the rational and emotional part of our brain. Hard to do.

    • This is where calling out our emotions is helpful. This is what we call externalization. We’re putting out our thoughts and feelings out in the open to look at them objectively. Rather than being driven by them.

  • Reacting: Mostly the emotional part of our brain when we’re upset. Very instinctual. Can also be the fight or flight response from our ancient ancestors.

6. Seek Out Support

• Sometimes we can’t build skills until we have the proper coach or therapist that can help us. Society often tells us to keep things in and conform to the idea of staying strong. When in fact staying strong is being vulnerable. Because being vulnerable takes strength that most people don’t harness.

  • I’ve learned the hard way of not bringing forward what’s bothering me. It will only way you alive until it’s very apparent to those around you that you are not well.

So reach out.

7. Follow Your Values

• What can be a deal breaker for people carrying onward with debilitating anxiety is the lack of purpose they feel from the pain the experience.

  • In fact pain is what can give people purpose in life. Typically the more meaningful something is the greater capacity it has to cause more pain.

    • For an example, someone dreaming to become an Olympic champion doesn’t just get there with immense amounts of untold suffering. We see the champion on tv, achieving their dream, but not the work behind the scenes. Anything hard in life, including anxiety, has the capacity to show us what we care about. In my case, it’s worrying. So instead I tell myself I must really care. Therefore I work harder knowing in the end it will pay off.

8. Patience

• Building skills towards managing anxiety takes time. Just like the Olympic champion achieving there life’s dream, the work behind the scenes is not seen.

  • In the beginning I felt that none of my skills were working. The problem is they were, I just didn’t know it yet.

9. Thinking in Dialectics

• Most of us have heard the saying don’t think in black or white. However do we really know what it means. Thinking black and white means there is only one way or the other way. One answer or no answers. The number one challenge with this mindset is that it creates a narrow view of the world. It only gets smaller the more we feed it.

  • Thinking in dialectics broadens our view of ourselves and the world because we are thinking of two opposing forces that can coexist at the same time. The key is to create the space for them to be present at the same time.

    • For example someone might say I had a bad day. But in fact there may have been some good parts of the day that I didn’t notice. The mind can be deceiving at times. In other words it can be our own worst enemy.

• The key to mastering the mind is often related to doing the opposite of our instincts. If we think something is all bad it’s important to find the parts within the bad that are good.

9. The 5 senses

• A classic skill in therapy the objective is similar to calling out our thoughts. Create an external focus or experience.

  • 5 things you can see

    4 four things you can touch

    3 things you can smell

    2 things you can hear

    1 thing you can taste

• To put it simply managing anxiety is the act of viewing the chaos of life from a Birds Eye view. Once awareness is present, it’s just the skills that are needed to overcome any obstacles in our way. But only if we commit ourselves.

  • Awareness precedes action. And taking action precedes solutions. The sooner anyone can get closer to awareness the better off our life will be. But only if we do the other half take action.

Therapy Takes Time

• Life is a process and therapy is a process too. For most of my time in therapy I was building awareness and some tools along the way. But mostly awareness. As a young boy I had less foresight into the inner working of my mind. It wasn’t until middle school and high school that things became more apparent to me. My condition, ocd, anxiety, and depression was fully maturing as I was too.

Things Can Get Worse Before They Get Better

• Once my parents and I took action to act these changes, things got even worse. But for good reason. Our demons sometimes need to fully reveal themselves before they can be put to rest. Treatment was like digging an endless hole that never had an end or beginning. And even after treatment I am still learning more. What’s most important is for all of us to focus on what we can control. No matter how hard things get, master this, and no one can stop you.

Getting Better Doesn’t Feel Better Sometimes

• As mentioned earlier getting better is more of how we relate to discomfort not eliminating it. Where we get trapped by anxiety is that it likes to complain about everything. Even if we’ve made progress it will still complain about everything that is still hard. So once we eliminate our expectations, less suffering will follow.

Why?

• Because with no expectations nothing can be disappointing. Including the bad neighbor of anxiety that never changes its behavior. The power we have is that we can always change our behavior. Anxiety can continue being the downer that it always will be, and instead we can be triumphant.

  • If I can do it, you can too.

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• Read more on Substack to learn more

  • https://ryan512207.substack.com/

• Growing up I was a quite kid. At school it always felt like I was the odd ball out.

  • Often times I would sit on the excurts of the playgrounds eating my lunch alone, too afraid to put myself out there.

  ---

  Always Thinking

• But also very serious. So much so that I was in my head all the time and building friendships with people seemed like an illusion of reality.

  • I was living inside my head. And still do quite often today.

• But not as much thankfully.

  Building Support Systems

  • So consumed by the torment of my thoughts, from an early age I was not the normal kid laughing and having fun.

• I attended support groups at the local healthcare center, Kaiser, that my mom currently still works for.

  • At the time I was in kindergarten and within the first few sessions we had to identify the monsters within us.

We All Have Our Inner Monsters

• Basically just planting stickers of monsters 👹 on a box, characterizing them as our own bullies inside our heads.

  • As I’ve written in prior pieces, the inner critic can be a relentless force that drives us into an abyss if we’re not careful.

We Dont Know What We Dont Know

• Sometimes it takes an outsider to snap us out of our delusion of self deprecation.

  • Our identity is shaped by our ability to view our selves subjectively. We have an opinion of ourselves, because we live within our own reality.

Perspective Matters

- From a Birds Eye view we can see more of ourselves.

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• Someone looking out at us views us from the context of their own reality.

  • We don’t know what lies beyond the way we see ourselves, unless we choose to look beyond the cage of our own reality.

• This other reality is the way other people see us.

  • As a young boy, it would take at least another fifteen year for me to understand this.

• And it ultimately took me beyond on the verge of self destruction to realize it.

  • It only took one question: “Maybe the person I’ve fought so hard to defend, isn’t right.

The Risk Of Isolation

• If we continue to stay on the path of only ever listening to ourselves and our own point of view,

  • Before you know it we fall off a cliff into a valley of our own ignorance.

• And me falling off a cliff, was almost losing my life to a relentless inner critic that I had continued to defend fom the time I was boy.

  • It wouldn’t matter how hard people around me fought to convince me otherwise.

• I was indefinitely trapped in the valley of my own ignorance, until I realized no one was going to break my fall.

  • It had to be me. And only then could I open up to the idea that maybe everyone around me who views me so highly was right.

• I was trapped in the delusion of my own reality.

We Get More Of What We Focus On

• Want more pain, always focus on what’s wrong.

  • Believe you’re worthless, never stop criticizing yourself and don’t listen to anyone.

• Think your stupid, only see things as a justification that you are

  • And the list goes on

Where do relationships come into play?

• As mentioned earlier, relationships are essential because they contribute to the narratives we tell ourselves.

  • Our concept of self is a reflection of the types of people we surround ourselves with.

• In my case my family was that group of people.

  • However, its only possible to help them help us if we are willing to.

• I was reluctant to see the truth of how the saw me, a good person, at my own expense

  • Relationships are powerful if we allow them to be.

Relationships Are a Biological Need

• Thousands of years ago as cavemen we couldn’t survive without each other

  • We were always stronger in numbers

• We couldn’t take down a wholly mammoth without the teamwork of a tribe methodically planning the point of attack.

  • Or build some of the first civilizations that lead to the present day

• We exist today becasue we have always been stronger in numbers

  • If we abandon one of the foundations of what it means to be human, we can end up in peril.

More Work To Be Done

• Sometimes I’m still that young boy who wants to stay trapped in side his head.

  • But know now that the world beyond how my view myself is so much bigger and filled with more opportunities.

• And that many of those opportunities can come from building new connections.

  • Just like in the early days of human history, we are always stronger in numbers.

• My goal is to keep putting myself out there.

  • If I can, you can too.

We can all break free from the chains ⛓️‍💥 of our own minds

It Takes Many Forms

• Whether its our inner critic.

  • Perfectionism.

• Or our own self worth

  • The people who think outside of our own thinking can shows us who we truly are.

  • But only if we let them.

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• Everyone has something to offer regardless of the mistakes we’ve made. The things we aren’t very good at, or just feeling an outlier in the crowd.

We Are Unique And Not At the Same Time

• In reality everyone on Earth is an outlier because there will never be another Ryan (me), another Sam, or anyone who’s reading these words.

  • For a while I thought that if I’m different from different swaths of society and its systems that work for some people and others not, then maybe I’m the problem.

• However, anyone who feels they don’t fit the status quo can flip the script and say they are the solution.

1. The Hidden Costs Of Abandoning Dreams

Thinking Outside The Box

Explanation

• Now you might be asking, “How is being a problem for the traditional ways of progressing in life a good thing?”

  • Well, let’s think for a second,

• Who are some of the most successful people ever to walk the earth?🌏

  • Important to note that people’s definition of success has many variations, but just for this example lets relate it to wealth.

Some examples include,

• Steve Jobs

• Elon Musk

• Bill Gates

And many more to name a few.

Breaking The Norm

• They all shared one thing in common. They broke the norm and dropped out of college.

  • Now I am not encouraging people to drop out of college and I will be completing my degree despite the challenges I have with the school system.

We will revisit that later.

Everyone Is Different: We just have to leverage it to our advantage.

• Basically anyone that has changed the world has challenged the normal way of doing things in some way.

The Deception Of Seeing Things At Face Value

• The perceived weakness was them challenging societal norms, and different ways of thinking.

Hidden Gems 💎 Reside In Imperfection

• Despite the level of scrutiny that Jobs, Musk, and Gates have received between leaving school for entrepreneurship, and other controversies, it would be hard for us to imagine our lives without the solutions they cretaed.

  • Sometimes the problem is the solution, and the solution is the problem.

Ex:

• For instance, the problem for some entrepreneurs is the scrutiny that becomes with breaking the norm. But breaking the norm has also been the solution to advancements in human history.

  • And even despite those achievements, they can also just lead to more problems to solve, and more scrutiny to endure.

And the cycle repeats.

• So for anyone hesitating to follow their passion, but it breaks the norm, be okay with the price of success.

  • On the other side of the discomfort a reward follows.

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Light is not possible with the absence of darkness. 🔑

Distractions

• The easy way out of our fears including myself is to distract it away from us.

• Producing fear within ourselves isn’t an easy task and something most people might find crazy.

• So it’s much easier to wander through life without running 🏃 head into fear, than paying the price of success.

The Price of Greatness

• I am no stranger to this because, based on my history I can wish something, but only determination and perseverance can set me free.

• But of course it comes with a price.

• Just like paying a massive bill for something you want,

• What you want has a price, money 💴.

• And your hopes and dreams has a price too, discomfort.

But ultimately it’s what we all need.

• And it’s not something that I came to quickly, and will have to maintain for the rest of my life.

• Otherwise we become trapped in the cave of familiarity where the fire is warm and nothing surprises us.

The fire 🔥 is comfortable, but the cold creates toughness. 🧊

• I can attest to this because I lived within the boundaries of my mind and still do from time to time.

• An example of the biggest fear I encountered with the biggest breakthrough was my series of breakdowns over the past four years.

• As a young teen my life was on the line. It was during a time where the intimidation and hold anxiety kept me trapped in the cave of familiarity.

• But this type of familiarity was far more dire. What was painful was also familiar and more comfortable than the greater pain I would experience beyond the prison my mind had held me captive.

Held Captive By Our Thoughts 💭

• This prison was ocd, also known as obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD does not like it when its fear tactics no longer work.

• For a good few years it knew the ins and outs of every fear I could imagine.

• This eventually resulted in multiple hospitalizations and the prospect of maybe not finishing high school.

• But once I found the key to unlocking the prison within my mind, nothing could stop me from being free.

But what was the key? 🔑

• The bigger the fear the bigger the breakthrough. And sometimes the bigger the risk, the bigger the fall.

• I realized that life comes with risk and fear whether you have crippling anxiety or not.

My choices became clear.

Side note: My realization while volunteering in Costa Rica 🇨🇷

• The baby sea turtle 🐢 has a low chance of surviving but a better chance if crawls towards the open ocean. 🌊

What’s the point?

• My mental health journey has taught me that our biggest dreams I life are on the other side of a fear beyond our comfort zone.

• In our darkest hour we are on the cusp of seeing the light, but only if we continue to embrace the darkness.

Observations

• This is where observing our fears comes in handy. If we are an observer of life we have the ability to notice our emotions, but not become them.

• This misconception I had for the longest time was that I am fear. I am anxiety. I am depression. But the truth is that we experience life rather than becoming the experience itself.

I can experience fear, but I am not fear.

Responses

• Responding versus reacting to fear is essential to be more courageous and achieve greatness.

• Similar to observing life, once we notice an experience it creates separation between who we are and what we feel.

• Therefore we can act based on what’s in alignment with our values regardless of the price of discomfort that comes with it.

I am not the master but the learner.

• I am no master, but I firmly believe that basically nothing can touch us once we diffuse from identifying ourselves with emotions.

Examples To Act Now, And Embrace Fear.

• Tell someone the hard truth even if it’s painful.

• Start a business realizing you could fail, but also succeed.

• Get a degree at an old age regardless of the judgmental thoughts that tell you otherwise.

Live gracefully like a sea turtle. Photo 📷 by my dad. (Dan Morgan)

Our Thinking Matters

• Basically if we say we can, we can. And if we say we can’t we can’t.

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• It all depends on how big of a price we are willing to pay in proportion to the amount of success we wish to claim in life.

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• It All Comes Down To Love

Compassion Has Unlimited Potential

• Producing assets besides financial ones can be more valuable than most financial assets.

  • Plus, it allows people to be more connected to one another when people are more connected to one another.

  • Empowerment And Earnings

• It helps people produce the capacity to lift themselves while their friends lift each other.

  • This can help people lose loneliness and produce an emotional asset that breeds income-producing assets.

  • Importance

• Connections increase the capacity for anyone to build any asset.

  • The most important of all is to have your back through thick and thin.

  From Turmoil To Triumph

• My friend Greg, who I met during my time in mental health treatment, is an emotional asset that continues to push me to be a better person.

  • Humble Beginnings

    • He and I were there for each other despite our age, him 58 and me 18 at the time. I had just turned 18 when I was admitted to the adult treatment program in Los Angeles.

• We went through OCD treatment through thick and thin through the grips of exposure therapy.

  • Exposing ourselves to our deepest and darkest fears, we made it through because we had each other.

The Storm

• An OCD Storm

  • A tornado of thoughts wrecking everything in our path.

The Power of Shared Experience

• Both of us were experiencing the storm of our inner turmoil. Before meeting each other, we were both lonely and frightened.

  • Different Stories, Pals In The End

    • Greg had experienced the trauma of malpractice from a psychiatrist, and I was coming out of the depths of darkness from my recent psych hospitalization.

  • Gratitude

• Today, we still thank each other for supporting us to conquer our demons.

  • And I am confident we will remain friends through the test of time.

• Greg, an advanced businessman and father figure to me, can help me produce assets in addition to the emotional ones we built during treatment.

  Connection Offers Opportunities

  • I see him as a consultant for future endeavors in which I will engage.

• And who knows, maybe a future investor in a business I may one day start.

• How is this relatable to anyone?

  • Like my experience with Greg, building connections is a powerhouse for future opportunities and advocacy from others.

  • Acts Of Kindness

• Showing compassion towards others increases the probability that trust will occur between the parties.

Trust Breads Tremendous Rewards

• This can be essential in almost any aspect of life.

  • Likability

    • I heard something the other day on Instagram about success correlating with likeability.

    • I see compassion as a means to gain likeability from others.

  • Thinking Outside The Box

• It could contradict the mainstream belief that someone must meet the minimum skill requirements.

• However, a skill only takes people so far, in my opinion, if trust can’t be built through likeability.

  • Meet minimum requirements and Excel Through Character

• Importance of Likability From Forbes

  • And smiling can make all the difference sometimes.

    

What Do I Know?

• Although I don’t have much work experience, I know that my willingness to learn and the content of my character can outperform those with more skill than me.

  • Eventually, through my willingness to give and reciprocate compassion toward others, I might be able to learn and maybe earn more than they can.

• And at the end of the day, I am no expert.

  • The key is never to stop learning, and primarily through others.

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  • It all starts at a young age, empowering each other.

  

It’s Impossible Until It Isnt

• It’s easy to give up when we are convinced life is over.

Sometimes, A Trigger Makes Us Triumph

• Sometimes, life can be unfulfilling without difficulty.

Important Premise

• However, I am not dismissing the magnitude of trauma people have experienced.

  • Most folks who have done something legendary were a product of a problem they experienced.

A Stroy of Sustaining Life

• For instance, I recently met someone in my communications class who has cancer.

  • Although there is a chance of him dying, he is taking every opportunity he can to create solutions for the rare spinal cancer he has.

Shared Interests

• We naturally connected at school a couple of weeks ago on everything under the sun.

  • Whether it’s world events or the state of the U.S. financial system, we thought alike.

A Brilliant Mind

A Mindful Mindset

• Getting to know him over the past two weeks I learned more about his condition.

  • And what he is actively doing to manage it.

We All Need Help Sometimes

• Being alone he needed help with setting up a fundraiser to hopefully one day direct the funds towards research of his rare cancer.

  • Last Friday, I helped him set up the account. He was determined to put himself out there and give things a try.

Pain As An Opportunity

• His determination to create solutions while he still has time propelled me to help him.

  • His pain and anguish of having a rare cancer continually create purpose in his life.

• From my perspective, the prospect of him potentially dying is a driver for him to help others with a similar condition.

Time

• The cost of wasting time is too great in the one shot in life we get.

Taking Action

• His time is his most valuable commodity, and he cannot let it go to waste.

  • If the possibility of death was not staring him down, I’m not sure if the level of determination and desperation toward creating a solution would be as strong.

Pain That Has Purpose Behind It

• People can find purpose in their pain regardless of their circumstances.

My Experience With Pain

• During moments in my mental health journey, I felt I was on the verge of dying, but through hard work and perseverance, I feel as though I have come back from the dead.

  • I have faith that my friend can, too.

The Path Isn’t Linear

• The sun doesn’t shine all the time.

The Journey Can Be Treacherous At Times

• For each of the instances I wound up in the hospital during my treatment for OCD, I knew I was constantly faced with a choice.

Never Give Up

• It took me four times to commit to a life of fulfillment eventually.

  • The untold amounts of mental pain I experienced have created a level of drive and work ethic in my life that I am starting to experience.

• It was only a couple of years ago I began to realize this.

A Disadvantage Can Become An Advantage

• If my stress tolerance is higher than other people's because of the calluses I formed throughout the last few years,

  • I know I can withstand higher degrees of stress to serve my values.

Leveraging Learned Experiences

• When faced with something that seems impossible, like maybe starting my own company one day, I know I can draw upon the power of the pain I endured at a younger age.

  • My past pain creates purpose in my life because it will help me execute things with a greater reward.

The Price Of Breaking Through

• I’ve come to realize that the greater the achievement in life, the greater the price one must pay to obtain it.

  • In the case of my friend, he is enduring the price of having a rare cancer as a means of motivation to serve others.

• Even without disheartening circumstances, we can still be intentional about everything we do and live life to the fullest.

Ask Hard Questions

• Is your why for living more significant than any amount of pain in life?

My Question

• Sometimes, I ask myself, is holding onto the familiarity of discomfort more valuable than achieving what’s important to me?

  • The answer is no in most cases, and I’m sure it’s not in my friend's case.

• Sometimes, it takes a tragedy to give us a reason to live.

  • And it doesn’t have to. We can all use the leverage of our blessings now to achieve our goals.

• We can never assume we will always have the things we take for granted.

Maximizing Resources

• No matter who we are, everyone has the chance to maximize the resources they have, no matter how big or small.

  • Whether it is pain and suffering that drives us towards a more promising future.

    • Or an abundance of resources if born into wealth,

• Any opportunity wasted towards living a valued life does a disservice to ourselves.

A New Perspective

• My friend and I have entirely different experiences, and we understand the concept of using pain to achieve purpose in life.

We Are Never Alone

• People can care and share their experiences.

Finding a Cheerleader

• Whether it’s a dog or a person, the company helps.

Having Faith

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• For anyone in a bleak situation, know you’re not alone.

  • If you say you can’t, you can’t.

  • If you say you can, you can.

• Our words have power. The best thing we can do is to choose them wisely.

• Sometimes, an unrelenting weight can push us down when we open our eyes every morning.

  • This can be my experience with depression in a nutshell from time to time.

Avoidance Is Easy

• It’s easy for me to push depression aside, and I know it’s here to stay.

  • Maybe for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that.

How can I be okay with being miserable?

• Well, I wouldn’t phrase it like that.

• Relating to Our Experiences

  • The misery I experience from time to time with depression reflects my inability to accept reality.

• The reality is I have a predisposition for depression.

  • And that’s okay.

• Trying to rid myself of something I may never leave is not worth trying.

  • Depression can stay as long as it wants to.

• What matters is my ability to use my most significant obstacle to my advantage.

The Conundrum of Psychiatric Meds

• I’ve been on psychiatric meds for quite a while.

  • Since I was about six or seven.

A Buffer To Reality

• Although the variety of meds I have taken have provided a multitude of support, they have also created a buffer between the reality I must face one day and the current ease I experience to function each day.

  • Meds are essential for folks, including myself, with adverse mental health challenges.

Choosing Independence

• But at the end of the day, we must decide how reliant we must become on something that limits our opportunity to become even stronger on the other side of hardship.

  • My goal for myself is to be off of all of my meds over time, ideally.

    • And most importantly, overtime.

Important Note

• Always consult with a professional before making changes. I learned this the hard way a while ago, but that’s a story for another day.

  • I know that with every challenge that comes my way, it is an opportunity to rise above the walls in front of me.

The Path Ahead

• As I continue to ease off my meds, I am well aware of the journey I’m in for.

  • It will be painful but worth it.

Why?

• It will be worth it because I came out stronger on the other side of something that attempted to get in my way.

  • That something is depression.

The Path Towards Freedom Can Be Bleak

• Many folks early in their mental health journey feel they must be free of the pain and suffering they experience to be happy.

  • I was here once. It sucked as I could always come up with a reason for why the adversity I was facing was beyond my ability to overcome it.

An Important Lesson In History

• Thousands of years ago, the Buddha understood the problem of attachment to desire.

He claims, "Suffering arises from 'attachment' to desires. Suffering ceases when 'attachment' to desire ceases.”

Accepting Whats Undesirable

• As long as I continue to grasp the idea of being free from discomfort, I can never be free.

  • Freedom is the ability to have an unbreakable relationship of nonjudgment towards any experience of discomfort.

• Depression instantaneously wins when I cling to the thought of being free from depression.

  • I can only increase my chances of achieving what I want by practicing radical acceptance of an undesired situation.

Doing The Opposite Of What We Want

• Sometimes, things function in opposites. If I am sad that I am sad, I will experience more sadness. But if I accept my experience of sadness, I become free of sorrow.

  • I’m trying to say that sometimes we must accept what we don’t want to experience and wish to have.

• This can be the opposite of what meds have done for me. They have put a blanket over the reality I must face.

Discomfort.

The Buddha believed pain is unavoidable, but suffering can be a choice.

• The most important thing I can do is become an observer of my experiences rather than creating an identity around them.

The Dangers of A Limited Identity

• Many of us, including myself, enjoy forming an identity around unpleasant things because it feels familiar and protects us from digging deep into the depths of who we are.

  • I know who I am—a kind, thoughtful, giving, and responsible person.

• Anything that I experience, depression, for example, outside of those qualities, is part of my story but not the core of who I am.

Be an Observer vs a Reactor

• It’s easy to act based on emotion. This will be the ultimate task I will face as I become less reliant on my meds. The question will be how well I can separate myself from unhelpful thoughts without running from them.

  • The best I can do is to notice. Nothing more, nothing less.

Let It Flow To Let It Go

• Like a leaf 🍂 drifting down a stream. Just let it pass.

  • There are possibilities within what seems impossible.

• Being a victor versus a victim of depression is no easy task. But I know if others can do it, I can, too.

  • And maybe we all should, too. The world can always use more courage to help others live the life of their dreams.

• We create our reality by relating to the world within us differently. There’s always something to reflect on and improve.

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• We already have what we need.

Not Everything Feels Good

• Life can be tedious, especially when doing things I don’t want to have the will to execute something that doesn’t seem necessary.

  • I am getting through the shitty stuff to get to the good stuff.

  • However, sometimes, the things that feel unimportant are essential for arriving at the things we value most.

• This is especially challenging for me because certain aspects of school do not inspire people to love learning.

  • There have only been a few classes and teachers that have been truly inspirational.

A Few Great Mentors

• I took an intensive English class this past summer, but it didn’t feel like work because I could tell that teaching was truly the teacher’s passion.

  • I think I’ve started to take what I can get from the classes that don’t have value to me and soak up information like a sponge from the classes I do find valuable.

• Unfortunately, I will have to take more classes that feel impractical to find the niche classes that support my skill set and way of thinking.

Letting Go

• There was a time, and I still experience it today, when I felt like I had to fit the mold of the standardized school system.

  • Now I realize that some of the most successful people on earth didn’t fit into any one category.

A Brilliant Mind That Struggled

• Albert Einstein dropped out of high school, claiming the education system was too structured.

  • Einstein became one of the greatest physicists of all time because he followed his view of the world.

• Many scientists at the time believed he was crazy for challenging the reality people perceived to be true.

  • Facing much scrutiny for going against the grain, Einstein continued to embrace the brilliance of his mind.

• He could have listened to the people who thought he was crazy, which may have stopped him.

Following Through Anyways

• But no, Einstein knew he was on the cusp of something groundbreaking,

  • A new understanding of time and space that forever changed the world.

• Sometimes, becoming great at something means becoming unpopular.

  • And sometimes it does.

• Einstein knew that changing people’s understanding of physics was more important than his popularity.

Only One Shot At Life

• Many of us know we are going to die but often forget about it.

• I know its grim.

• But if I consider it, would there be a purpose without death?

• Or, more importantly, life without death.

• Life is possible because we are going to die.

• Evolution knows that to survive as a species, we must reproduce.

How does this have anything to do with our purpose in life?

• It’s a reminder that we can’t pretend we will live forever.

• If I don’t follow through on my aspirations in life, I will sit on my deathbed, knowing I could have done more.

• And any idea about improving the world will stir in my mind until the end.

Knowing Our Time Is Limited Makes Following Our Hearts 💕 Necessary

• We can be grateful that Einstein didn’t die without sharing the treasures of his mind with the world.

• He chose to walk through the fire 🔥 of scrutiny in service of something greater.

  • The future of physics.

It’s Not About Me

• Sometimes, if I tell myself it’s not about me, I’m more willing to endure the price of eventually becoming great at something.

• People who changed the world paid the price of greatness.

  • Criticism

  • Embarrassment

  • Not following the crowd

  • Self-Doubt

  • Rejection

  • Feeling Lost

• What seems to separate extraordinary people from ordinary people is their willingness to sacrifice their ego in exchange for making the world better.

What About Me?

• I am no Einstein, and I think I can model him and maybe achieve a fraction of the change he made.

• The only difference is that each of us has a different assignment in life than him. And everyone has one, too.

The Journey Ahead

It Starts With A Decision

• I plan to follow my intuition. If it leads Einstein to success, it may lead me to success, too.

• Nothing can stop me as long as my reason for doing something exceeds any pain.

• I just have to remind myself why I am doing something. Then, most, if not all, of my obstacles fall beneath me.

We only have one shot at life. We can either create success now while we still have time or discover that we did not do enough once we expire.

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If We Say We Can, We Can

The choice is mine. It’s up to me to take it. And realize the power is already within me.

• Mindfulness can become complicated if it’s made complex.

  • It's pretty simple.

• What is complex can be simple, and what is simple can become complex.

  • Mindfulness can be challenging because it’s easy.

• It is essential to notice it can be challenging but doesn’t have to be.

  • The same goes for life.

My Experience as a Rower and Coach

Rowers can create meaning out of pain.

The Duality of Life

• Rowing can be equally challenging and seamless at the same time.

  • There is a delicate balance between working as hard as possible and having a superior technique that limits the amount of wasted energy.

• If I pull too aggressively and move up the slide too hard, I begin to reduce the effectiveness and power of each stroke.

  Why? Because I am not relaxed.

• How can someone work as hard as they can and be relaxed simultaneously?

  • Many of us, including me, think that something is one thing or another.

• This is a fallacy for rowing, mindfulness, and life in general.

Law of Opposites

• The belief that everything in the universe has an opposite or opposing force.

  • Light can’t be seen without darkness because darkness is not possible without seeing light.

• If everything were dark or everything was light, there wouldn’t be a consensus on what these words mean without comparing them to each other.

  Why does this allow mindfulness to be easy?

• Because the law of opposites suggests that two opposing forces define one another through comparison.

  How would this apply to mindfulness strategies?

• I need to work on my mindfulness practice, whether it’s through meditation or just being more of an observer of life rather than someone who reacts to it.

  ---

  Mindfulness: The practice of paying attention in the present moment. Every form of mindfulness can show this

  1st Mindfulness Principle: There is no right way.

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• Many us of desire to have finacial abundance through building a business.

  • What I have begun to notice and learn from people who are successful, they are purely focused on providing value to customers

  • Whether its a service or product, regardless of the industry.

Persuasion vs. Forcing

• A lot of us walk up to a car dealership and immediately can tell someone is trying to sell us something.

A Car Mantenance Story

• I just got my car serviced last week and as I was going to pick up.

  • Right off the batt I told the sales person I was not interested because every time I go there they try to get a sale.

  • Rather than being purely focused on customer service which will drive sales up.

What Do I Know?

• I am definitely no sales expert, but have noticed this trend quiet often.

  • And to be honest it only makes me want to buy less.

  • Sometimes I think people are already sold on something and it only takes one conversation to make people think they don’t want something.

Interest In The Customer

• Being consistent in the service of customers, regardless of a sale, and providing superior value compared to their competition would suit them well.

How does this relate to new writers like me?

• I’ve added some paywalls here and there, but am purely focused on the idea that people are now relying on me to show up for them consistently.

  • If I begin to try and convince them that they need to sign up for a payed subscription I am greatly mistaken.

Decision Making vs. Profit Making

• Only they can determine if the value/solution I am providing is worth their money.

• Where persuasion comes in . . .

  • Persuation is entirely different from convincing because I am explaining why something may have to someone, but I am not asserting that it must add value to them.

My Observations

• What I’ve noticed in my short 22 yrs of life is that people want to make their own decisions.

• This is exactly my intention because my writing is about helping other people make the decisions that work for them.

  • My mission is to help people make impactful decisons towards a life that is meaningful to them.

  • Not what I believe is meaningful for them. I plan to just bring out the best version of themselves that has yet to come out.

  • I describe what has worked for me along my journey, but I understand if it doesn’t work for some people.

• Superior customer service produces superior business practices

  • I don’t necessarily consider becoming a businessman. I just know I care about people than any amount of money.

  • If I become successful financially I know it will be because I care about people more.

  • With the philosophy I believe I can provide more value than what I charge.

  • I know I have a lot of work to get there, but the numbers I put down will eventually become more aligned with the value of the services I provide.

• Human Connection Is The Reward

  • I don’t have to make money for making someone’s life better. Someone doing better because of solutions I provide is the only reward I need.

  • Money will come if its supposed to.

  Letting Go of Attachment to Money

  

  Something to Work On

  • I am acutely aware of this principle. Subconsciously I can tell I still need to work on it.

  • Whether its obsessively checking my investments in the stock market or the stats for each of my posts on Substack, I know its not sustainable.

  • Why?

    • Because I’m focusing on the destination not the journey.

    • What ever amount of money I make in life will be a product of my ability to enjoy the process of achieving a desired result.

    • If I’m grateful for what I already have in the present, I’ll be greatful for any amount of money because I’m no longer pushing the gold post of what’s “good enough.”

• Having Fun

  • I have a habit of being to serious sometimes and I think this can help me enjoy the process a little more.

  • I only have one shot at life so I might as well enjoy it.

• Business Owners

  

  • The more focus that can be put on people instead of profit might grow a business and its customers beyond expectation.

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  • Yes, I’m no business owner or sales expert, but for people that like my approach, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are the more successful ones.

• John Locke, philosopher, and an integral part of the United States gaining independence, understood the importance of having our own autonomy.

Our Differences Are Blessings

• Everyone is entitled to their own decisions and opinions in life.

  • Lock understood this principle.

Fighting For Freedom

• Risking Everything For Freedom

  • Christmas night of 1776, George Washington and his army crossed the icy Delaware River, carrying out a surprise attack that turned the tide of the war.

• The American colonies wanted to build their own future independent from the British Empire.

  • The American colonies under the rule of King George III discovered their future did not have to be pre-determined by someone else.

Unfair Treatment

• From taxation without representation, to oppression from British soldiers like during the Boston Massacre, the 13 colonies were tired.

  • The American colonies had endured enough madness under the rule of the British Empire and were ready to make a change.

• John Locke’s belief of “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” became a hallmark of the American Revolution.

A War Almost Lost

• In the beginning of the Revolutionary War, the United States, under the leadership of General George Washington, was on the brink of defeat.

  • George Washington and his soldiers knew that if they didn’t fight for their freedom, it would lie in the hands of the oppressive British Empire.

Never Giving Up

• When comparing both armies, the United States definitely had a small chance of winning. But the fighting spirit of George Washington and his soldiers was too great for the British army that outnumbered them.

  • Change Happens From Action Not Complacency

    • If were unsatisfied about something in our life, we can choose to live a life by design rather than defaulting to what isn’t working.

Those of Us With Privaledges Cannot Waste Them

• The United States is unique because its a beacon of hope for others around the world with freedoms to achieve their dreams.

  • For those of us who live in the United States we can set an example for freedom, personal sovereignty, and welcoming those who need a better shot at life.

• The United States may be the best place on Earth to exercise our freedoms.

• John Lock believed we are “endowed by our unalienable rights.”

  • Meaning here in the United States we have basic freedoms that cannot be infringed upon by the government.

What’s precious can be lost.

• Self determination is having the ability to persue happiness in the way that’s unique to us.

  • Our freedoms of “life, liberty, and property” aren’t garunteed to stay unless we continue to set an example of why the United States exists.

  • All of us can have a voice for those who do not. And help them forge their own path.

    Society Is Becoming Increasing Chaotic

    • It’s imperative that we exercise our freedoms and the ideals of the founders of the United States. 🇺🇸

• If we don’t use the resources we have to forge our own path we may lose them altogether.

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  When When We Are Free We Can Soar

  

  • Don’t let those around us weigh us down.

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  No Garuntees In Life

• It’s naive to think our freedoms will alway be in place. We have to use them to maintain them.

  • Kind of like if we have a bully, and don’t speak up, we may believe there’s nothing we can do.

Applying Freedom To Life Today

Undering discomfort for something important

• Advocating for the life we want is extremely important.

  • This is something I continue to work on.

• I have to continually remind myself that I determine my own destiny and no one else can.

  • This is why I must continue to walk my own path while others walk theirs.

    Okay For Others to Have a Different Path

  • If everyone was the same on earth, humans wouldn’t have enough diversity to support the innovation required to solve problems.

  • I’m always happy to learn from someone who has a different philosophy on life than me.

  • The Framers and John Lock would want all of us to peruse our own happiness that makes each of us unique.

    

    • All of us have the power to forge our own destiny as long as we continue to advocate for it.

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• Emotions and specific situations in life can be deceiving.

  • Our emotional minds are alive and well.

The Trap

• People often say just think positive about everything, and everything will be okay.

  • However, thinking positively can be just as dangerous as thinking negatively, depending on our context.

• This concept was first introduced to me by one of my prior therapists.

  • He said to be careful about trusting how something feels. Sometimes, what feels good can lead us astray or be bad.

    • This kind of blew up my brain for a little and scared me.

    • Eventually, I saw the lesson from our session afterward. I just had to think about it.

• A great example of this concept can be seen in the wild.

  The Seasons

  

  • Typically, when animals are preparing for hibernation, it’s not during the winter. It’s in the summer when things are “good.”

  To Assume Is To Risk Everything

  • If the animals assumed summer would last forever, they would be unprepared for the unrelenting winter that approaches.

    • Animals also have to think positively during the winter; otherwise, they might not survive the long winter months.

  • After winter passes, they begin preparing for the storm that lies ahead.

    • Takeaway: Wild animals realize they can’t trust the blissful feelings of spring; otherwise, they won’t be ready for winter.

  Personal Example

• I am an amateur investor who is still learning.

  • The idea of the downside and upside risk in investing highlights the danger of trusting our emotions for decision-making.

• When there is a downturn in the market, sometimes I can’t help but think pessimistically. Or even worse, sell out of fear, and as my grandpa who introduced me to investing, “get whipsawed.”

  • To avoid getting whipsawed during downside or upside risk, I am skeptical when the market only goes up and hopeful when it goes down.

  • I know what goes up can come down, and what comes down can come back up.

  Importance of Thinking In Opposites
  

  • An example of being skeptical when the markets continue to rally without any “perceived” downside risk is the danger of euphoria during big rallies.

    • Just as excited as investors are when the market goes up, they are equally pessimistic when it goes down.

    • The problem with this is how our emotions are incongruent with reality.

    • If the fundamentals of a business are superior and have an underlying competitive advantage, then I shouldn’t sell out of fear, just the facts.

• Opposite Action: A skill I learned in therapy

  Training Our Minds Is A Workout

  • Wise Mind Technique

  

  I’m Still Training

  • I am no stranger to being encouraged to act opposites to my emotions.

    • This is often the hallmark of dealing with challenging emotions.

  • Emotions prevent us from following through on what’s important to us.

    • For instance, an investor who wants to invest for the long term must weather the storms of volatility in the market without selling in service of achieving financial freedom.

  • The problem is that emotions are so powerful that it’s hard to think relationally from an emotional mindset.

    • Modern humans are going against evolution, responsible for survival thousands of years ago.

• Wise Mind (What Is It?)

  • The wise mind is our ability to balance emotion and reason.

    • Emotions can serve us well if we have a constructive relationship with them.

  • This is why having some rationality within our emotions can be helpful so we aren’t blinded from the truth.

  • This is especially true for me when I’m upset and only think through the lens of my emotions. Or think through rose-colored glasses.

    • Just like the investor that only focuses on the euphoria will be blindsighted by the other side of the coin.

• Never Two Sides of The Same Coin.

  • A situation can be made worse if we make it so. And we also made it better.

  • Animals preparing for winter can endure a hard, cold winter better if they don’t become distracted by the beauty of spring.

    • Animals turn a negative situation into positive action. Like the long-term investor, they act incongruently with the bliss of the good times.

If We Dont Prepare, We Cant Prospure

• A skill I have often been taught in therapy is planning.

  • Knowing that a positive mindset is necessary to make something happen is essential, but the worst-case scenario must be planned for.

• Almost Anything Has Risk And Reward

  • Starting a business is terrific, and people must acknowledge the risk and perseverance of this endeavor.

  • Life can be wonderful, but if we never consider a potential storm during sunny weather, we may get washed away if we aren’t careful.

Final Thoughts

• Have healthy skepticism in the good times. And realistic optimism in the bad times.

  • While acknowledging that most problems are solvable with a balance between reason and emotion.

    • How we operate in life mostly depends on whether we act according to our thoughts and feelings.

• I believe we can be prepared for most things life throws at us.

A Freind Who Cant See Who Sees Everything

• I am going to Cabrillo College to finish my general education. Someone I have met along the way, I help with tasks from time to time.

  • He is almost entirely blind but has a view of the world that transcends his scenes.

    • His name is Vu, and he is originally from Vietnam.

• His cultural experiences vastly differ from mine, and I see it as an opportunity to learn more about myself through him.

  • His mind, questions, and perspectives on life go beyond what any average person with vision can determine about our life experience.

Teachings of The Jungle

The Walk That Welcomed New Thinking

• While I was helping him walk back to the bus stop this past Tuesday, he explained a trip he took to the Amazon.

  • Vu spent a few weeks in the jungle exploring the wilderness but soon realized he had discovered nothing.

• Because the Amazon is one of the largest rainforests in the world, Vu told me he had only discovered an infinitely small portion of the forest.

  • And that the infinitely small point he had explored was equivalent to the amount we can experience.

Vu’s Claim

• Vu explained his dilemma to me. He had traveled extensively when his vision was intact, and yet he said, “I feel I have experienced everything and nothing at the same time.”

What did he mean?

• In life, we can do our best to experience more, but all the world's wonders will forever remain undiscovered.

  • Before the bus stopped, Vu had expressed the importance of seeing life as an experience versus materialism, which acts as a false representation of meaning in life.

We Are Infinitely Small

• He said that, relative to time and space, humans have little time to waste.

  • We can do our best to experience everything while always knowing there is more to learn.

• Living versus Existing

  • I believe the motivation to experience life can come from knowing we can never know everything.

  • We might as well maximize our time to learn some things, just as the tiny pinpoint of the Amazon Vu had discovered.

- At the end of life, we can minimize what we did not experience, knowing we experienced everything we could.

The Deception of Materialism

If we live each day as our last, all the material things we cling to disappear. Only our experience of life remains.

• Vu explained that not having a car creates more opportunities to experience life.

  • Industrialization Comes With Downsides

    • A vehicle that takes us everywhere every time creates amnesia of when humans used to walk among the stars.

Stuff is Stuff

• A car is just a car.

• A degree is just a piece of paper.

• A trophy is just a piece of metal.

• A house is just materials organized together.

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  • If we become too attached to material things, then they begin to own us versus us owning them.

Experiences Are A Reliable Frame of Reference

• The more we can experience life as Vu has done, the more we can live.

• Vu’s perspective of garnering more experiences has allowed him to see more of life even though he can't see what’s around him.

I Can See The Joy

• Vu and I have great conversations when I help him or just talk.

• I can tell that as long as he has people, he has everything.

  The Dangers of Comparison

• This is a hard one for me, but it is necessary.

• No one can walk my path but myself.

• So, I dismiss the idea that someone is more successful than me because of their material possessions.

• I focus on seeking new experiences rather than trying to reach status.

• Ultimately, status comes from authenticity, so as long as I emulate authenticity, I am beginning to lead those who don’t know me yet.

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Friendship Is A Valuable Asset

• I plan on keeping my relationship with Vu.

• If people look out for me, I will look out for them.

  • Reciprocity can be life’s most significant currency.

    • In any relationship.

• Money can’t buy us love, but our willingness to experience life can.

My Plan, What’s Yours?

• Vu taught me to turn towards experiencing life to live more.

• Living more will depend on our ability to let go of what we desire to experience more of what we have.

  • Letting go of expectations helps us be present. And fulfilled but not finished with.

- If we accumulate more experiences that teach us, we can become more for others.

• Give a review of my answer to life’s meaning in the comments. :)

• Prosperity isn’t easy, but also doesn’t have to be hard.

What is prosperity?

• To me prosperity is the act of living life to the fullest.

• Health is wealth.

  • Physical Health

  • Emotional Health

  • Education

Building a Balanced Life

• If the foundation of who we are isn’t stable we can never reach the heights of of our imagination.💭

  • Community is accomplishes a shared mission between people and provides leverage.

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  Having A Scarcity Mindset Can Be Costly

• Living with less is better than living with lack and limitation.

  • All the resources that can improve our life are already present.

    • Production of goods produces enough for everyone in the economy regardless of where they think food comes from.

  • Our economic system is designed to produce prospersity, and opportunity for everyone. At least in the United States.

    • Some of you might disagree, but let me enlightten you.

  • With economic hardships reverberating throughout the country everything hurts.

    • But if we double down on the principles of prosperity while focusing on what really matters in life we don’t need much to get by.

• Getting ahead Isn’t Always Ideal

  • But getting ahead financially isn’t my definition of prosperity because beyond basic needs becomes futile.

If we invest in the things that matter…

• Reduce expenses on the things that don’t.

• We can not only have a surplus of money,

  • But also of health, connection, wisdom, and resilience.

Assets and Liabilities

• Assets put money in our pockets.

• Liabilities takes money out.

  • With exceptions to getting our basic needs met having more stuff only goes so far.

Assets and liabilities aren’t just exclusive to finance.

- They are universal to life.

• An asset is having a few fantastic friends rather than a bunch of horrible ones.

  • Investing time into people that support us is more cost effective than wasting time that suck the life force from us.

  • This means making sacrifices like letting go of buying things that don’t ultimately contribute to well being.

  • There is no difference with emotional wellbeing except that being around people that tear us down is a major expense to our time.

• Delaying Gratification

  • The ability to delay gratification is the act of letting go of something in the present to invest in a future of less stress.

  • We must experience pain first to get to the good parts in life including making sacrifices for our emotional and financial wellbeing.

  • Emotional wellbeing can be the act on focusing on the things that matter.

    Focuing on People Produces Prosperity

    

    • Community

      • When we make an effort to get out of our own world and into others, life begins top expand in ways beyond belief.

    • Love

      • Being there for your loved ones can never replace the temporary satisfaction of aquiring a lot of money.

    • Connection

      • Learn how to communicat to create messages that can move the masses. People may want to pay to here to what we have to say.

    • Service

      • Bringing more value to people will result in more wealth.

      • Investing in education.

    • Investing for the future

      • Actual investments, becoming an owner rather than a consumer.

  The Greatness Of Grandpa

  • For instance, I invest in my relationship with family, keep expenses low, and invest for the future.

  • I wouldn’t have gotten a start to financial investments without my grandfather.

  • He taught me the importance of being an owner rather than a consumer.

    • As of three years ago he started helping me and wouldn’t have built the foundation of my financial education and independence.

    • All because of a powerful relationship.

      • It’s a service to his family that brings value to me and will eventually help me bring value to others.

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Become Investors In All Aspects of Life

• If we let go of bieing consumers in the search for meaning in life,

  • And become investors in our family, finances, and future, we will be set for life.

  • Am an investor in both my emotional and finacial well being.

    • Any of us can walk the path of prosperity as long as we delay our gratification in the the pursuit of greatness.