I have just come out of a four-day solo parenting stint which Ben was away as a volleyball coach for a competition through school. Following this, a few of our kids were unwell and I have had extras at home. They are mostly very healthy kids with robust immune systems. These are the first days any of the four school aged kids have had to take off school all year from sickness, so I really can’t complain. But when you have five kids, the likelihood of illness does rise, and things come up here and there. Being the stay-at-home mum, the responsibility usually lands in my court to serve. (Speaking in volleyball terms here! ha!) Yes, I often have to pivot, redirect my day, and cancel plans. But with a bigger family, ideally there really does need to be someone available who doesn’t have a multitude of commitments. Having one person that can remain more flexible when things go a little off kilter brings a steadiness to the rhythms and routines of the home. (I know this is not always possible, and each family has their own way of making it work depending on work situations, number of children, and family dynamics)

Today we have a tradesman coming to fix a broken skylight, sheets are being washed (I am learning to stagger this process and do one or two at a time every few weeks instead of all at once!). I am also scrubbing showers, caring for a sick child, tending to a three-year-old, and putting a roast in the oven to slow cook before I need to collect the other three kids from school at 3pm. The afternoons race on with afternoon tea devoured, lunchboxes emptied and cleaned, playing commences (and disagreements and quarrels too!), homework is finished, and dinner finally gets to the table so we can try and gather amiably at the table as a family.

This year I feel as though I am in a stage of metamorphosis again. I get to decide what sort of mother I want to be. I have even been thinking how the sort of grandmother I will end up being also depends on my choices today as a mother. Do I want to be present and available or distracted and busy? No doubt I am a colourful display of all of these things at times. Here in my mostly hidden work of being a mother, I remind myself that my children are growing up, and to have them all at home, young and dependant, really won’t last long. These investments of time and effort—this self-gift I am extending to them—is intentional, sometimes hard, often tiring, but worth it.

Meanwhile, I have indeed finished my book and sent the final files to the publisher. This has been a project I have had to hold loosely as I have learned to be obedient and trust when God has said to put it down for months at a time and focus on other things, or when to pick it up and get it to the finish line, albeit a little breathless and panting, but nonetheless, over the line. Being my third book, the freshness and novelty of the process has dulled a little, and I no longer feel that ecstasy of seeing my name on the cover in print. Sometimes I even wonder whether writing is really for me because I don’t really want a platform. I have always liked obscurity and never enjoyed the spotlight or being the centre of attention. But I have been called to pick up my pen (which I do enjoy doing!) and I have sensed God’s presence and nod of approval over the writing process, so I push on despite my insecurities. The book will take on a life of its own after all my labouring, becoming work I get to tend to in different ways, or simply witness God use to speak through—He can use it however He sees fit.

The launch of the book will be on Saturday 26th in Toowoomba at the Koorong bookstore for their ‘Author Event’. I will be one of many local authors gathered to mingle amongst the community sharing their work, which I think is perfect for my ‘don’t-want-to-be-the-centre-of-attention’ self! I would really love to see you there and sign a book for you. The book will soon be ready to be ordered internationally online; I will let you know when that is ready so you can be one of the first to read these fables.

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

Ben is the head of the science department at a Christian liberal arts school (where our children attend), but he is also the head of PE. He loves sport. The interest has already been passed onto our children. The grass in our little urban backyard gets a daily thrashing while the kids play whatever seasonal sport is happening—mostly cricket and football, but recently pickleball too. Last week while on school holidays they managed to pull me away from my housework and I played a game of soccer with all five of them (plus our 7-year-old neighbour who is often at our house!) I played for almost 2 hours—until the sun was setting and I had to get dinner on.

Sometimes I resent how much sport the family watches on tv or plays in the backyard because I am usually busy ‘Marthar-ing’ about and getting things done. But I have to remind myself that this is part of our particular family puzzle and culture. It isn’t normal for me. I came from a farming family. There wasn’t a lot of time to play sport with my dad or siblings, or to sit in front of a tv and watch it (unless it was a rainy day).

Even though I have a growing love for literature and writing, I did not come from a reading family either. My dad managed to get to grade 9 in a country school before helping his dad out full time on the land. He only got that far by being allowed to move the watering hose on the class vegetable patch during learning time. He sometimes got sent out of class for talking about farming. One time a teacher told him and his mate (who still lives up the road from him) to, “Go outside if you’re going to talk about spud prices please!!” He could drive a tractor as soon as his feet could reach the pedals and I dare say he has learned to read and watch the weather better than anyone in the valley. Neighbouring farmers still closely note what my dad is doing and will follow suit.

Over the school holidays we took our family down for the day, as we often do. I heard my dad answer phone calls from old and new customers, always with a bit of friendly banter. He’s got people skills, too—a knack for making people feel at ease, no matter who they are. I never thought of myself as a ‘farm girl’ growing up. I’ve also had people say, because I grew up on a farm that was only 30 minutes from town, that I wasn’t really a ‘farm girl’. But as I’ve gotten older, I realise that it has truly helped shape me into who I am. I am a farmer’s daughter.

I am also a teacher’s daughter. My mum still teaches commercial cooking at the school I went to, that my husband teaches at, and that four of my children now attend.

It is an interesting prospect, knowing you can create your own family culture. What will it look like? Often it is a mix of the loves both spouses take from their own childhood and family. Sometimes it is an altogether new culture, and you plough the uncultivated ground using machinery you’ve never been taught how to use. You might not do it quite right or the most efficient way possible, but you pioneer the best you can. It takes a bit more concentration and effort, and the result probably won’t rival the expertise of others more skilled, but that is not the point, I think.

Every family is in charge of pioneering their own culture. No two families are really exactly the same.

This brings me to my point; I did not come from a reading family. I didn’t grow up with read alouds or family devotions or with classics lining the shelves (things we are cultivating as part of our family culture). I never did great at English at school. I didn’t really have the skills to write well. I wrote a book of poetry before I even read one, and I wrote fables before I even knew what to call them. My eldest daughter was more widely read than me before she was about eight years old and definitely knows a lot more about sentence structure, grammar and all things English than I do.

But God called me to pick up my pen, and despite how wobbly I write, and how unorthodox my process, I know that I am doing what God ordained for me long ago. I am a farmer’s daughter; but I am not planting seeds of lucerne. Instead, I plant the seed of story, poem and of word.

I finished writing my third book years ago. This time it was not poetry, but short stories. Many of the stories are embellished from actual real dreams I have had while asleep. God often speaks to me through pictures and stories in the night, and this is me trying to pass on the beauty, glory, and wisdom. God loves it when we cocreate with Him. I never receive the whole picture but take the inspiration and begin ‘dreaming wide awake’, adding to the stories with ideas of my own. I have had so much fun!

The book waited patiently, hidden in the dark, not knowing when it would be allowed to live a life of its own. I wondered whether it would ever see the light of day. Meanwhile, the words were busy gathering momentum, the paragraphs continued gaining depth, and I was actually living the dream wide awake.

The book was buried, sometimes remaining untouched for 6 months at a time. But I was living a life of action. I was serving my family, tending to our home, and being a part of the community.

My book now has a face, a cover, and the body is almost formed. The birthday of ‘Dreaming Wide Awake’ is imminent. Its birth will be quiet and subdued, but I am hoping that its life will be long and slow, God willing. Because I am still living the dream wide awake and that requires my full attention.

I plan to launch my book at the Koorong bookstore in Toowoomba, Queensland (where I live) at their ‘Author Event’ on the 26th September. This will be the third year I have attended. I love catching up with other local authors and chatting to new and old friends. I will be surrounded by bookshelves filled with writers who knew what they were doing much better than when I picked up the pen. It is quite ostentatious of me to think my books belong there amongst them.

But these stories and this little plot of ground was given to me as a gift. It did take a bit of digging and ploughing to unearth them from the deep, but now is the time to begin planting them as seeds. I am audaciously praying for grace to rain down when the pages are turned and read in the quiet or spoken out loud to children.

The book will also be available to order worldwide. I will pass on those details when it is ready.

Dreaming Wide Awake is my offering to you, my friends, for I have been given much, and to those who have been given much, much shall be required.

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

I’ve cooked in this original 90’s kitchen for 12 years now with its creamy butter cabinetry, warm timber accents, and well-worn cork flooring. When we moved in, we purchased a clean white fridge, painted the walls in Dulux ‘natural white’, and had a vision of soon replacing those creamy cabinets with something more modern (and less butter cream!). Originally, I chose everything in my kitchen with this vision in mind, including tea towels. They would either be blue and white checked, red and white striped, or pink and floral. I never considered the colour scheme they were going into. I just chose what I liked! That was, until a few weeks ago.

When I saw these tea towels at the shops with a butter cream colour base, it immediately reminded me of my kitchen, and I purchased them without too much thought. When I brought them home, I couldn’t believe how much difference they made. They matched! I went on and on to Ben about it that night. I just couldn’t believe how good they looked! Ha! They don’t stand out or make a statement, and perhaps because they don’t, no one will even notice them anymore because they blend in with their surroundings, tying the green, black, and timber colours together.

I didn’t choose our kitchen, the colour scheme, or the design. But I could choose the things that surrounded it. Over time, I hung a cute cotton lace valance to frame the bay window, an oversized creamy sheer feature light for above the table and found a timber island bench that was waiting to be sanded back and oiled. But, for many years I decided I would pick the trendy tea towel option, the option that I liked best, or whatever was on sale at the time. When I finally chose what was right for the kitchen, it made such a difference!

It made me wonder, how many times have I simply chosen what I liked best, or what everyone else was choosing, or what cost me the least amount, instead of first considering what I had to work with? I came from a family I did not choose myself; I had an upbringing that did not have to do with my preferences, I was given a personality and gifts that I would not have picked out myself had I been given the choice. If it was up to me, I would be much more confident, a lot more accomplished, and heaps better at singing! But that is not the lot I was given.

Has anyone heard of the ‘90’s butter mum’ trend? Suddenly butter walls and kitchens and curtains are desirable again. After 12 years of living the ‘90’s butter mum’ life, both aesthetically and in many ways, lifestyle, I find that I am in fact, trending. We have roast chicken on Sundays after church, our neighbours’ kids come over most afternoons to play with mine outside, our family of seven eat together at the dining table every night, and I choose not to document our everyday life and put it on social media.

I shared a photo of my kitchen on Instagram and found that some people like and wanted my kitchen and even wanted to buy the old timber handles from me. It makes me laugh because of how many times I thought it was old fashioned and uncool and of how many times I dreamt of replacing it!

There is a settledness that comes from working with what you’ve got, of accepting that not everything needs to be completely gutted and replaced, and deciding on the best course of action for your particular personality, family dynamics, and gifts. The life we live matches us, and that is what makes it work. That is what makes all the difference. We chose to have a bigger family, live on a small block of land in town, and live off one regular income. Certainly not because everyone else was doing it. Neither was it the choice that cost us the least amount personally or physically but rather, it was a choice based on our convictions, faith, and the surrounding infrastructure of our lives. Sticking with these choices when they are not trending or popular is the hard part.

Every now and then society might give a nod of approval or accept our ways as trendy. When that happens, it might make us laugh at how many times over the years we thought we looked old fashioned and uncool. But we press on all the same, knowing that labels and trends never stick long on us, or in reality. We don’t need them anyway, do we?

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

Prayer is real work. It is not a side hustle or a religious endeavour or my attempt to become more pious or holy. It is my work. It is a responsibility, an invitation, a chance to call upon God and bring His transforming power. I am convinced it can move strongholds, the giants of the enemy, and yes, even mountains. I do not wield the sword of administration, program, or even of liturgy. I wield the Sword of the Spirit.

Where do I pray?

I do not have to shout it from the street corners, but instead, I can whisper it as I scrub the dishes. I do not need a special room, but can intercede as the needs are brought to my attention. Sometimes the needs implode upon me at night through dreams while I am deep in slumber with hidden symbolic meanings planted throughout. When I awake, I work to dig out the significance and bring it to the Lord in prayer.

Sometimes these prompts require an action, a sharing between those involved and praying with others. Other times it is only hidden, solitary work. The Lord hears, He sees, and has already gone before me. My delivery is not perfect, and neither are my intercessions. But as I present my requests to the Lord, His power is unleashed and adds to my frail attempts, His complete and certain authority.

I can be a bit self-conscious when I pray within a group, and stumble on my words. But by myself when no one is listening but God, I can be extra bold and confident with my requests. There is no danger here to sound insensitive or be pessimistic or act like a killjoy. I am fighting against an enemy cowering in the shadows that often no one else can see or hear or sense and sometimes that scares people. But I have learnt not to be afraid.

I do not have all day to pray, only moments. I cannot always make it to the prayer meetings. My days are often full of activity with five children to clothe and feed and a house to tend to and school to be involved in and a husband whom I love and extracurricular activities to remember and neighbours to chat to and serve. There is always an abundance of tasks to be completed and life to be lived. I just have to tuck prayer into my pocket and take it with me wherever I go!

Prayer changes things

It is a wonderful thing to realise that here in my moments of fixed attention while I labour with normal, everyday tasks or chores, that I am doing important work that goes out even beyond the boundaries of my home, altering the trajectory of the world in small but significant ways, making it look a little bit more like heaven.

To be called upon by the Lord Himself with prayer requests, together with knowledge of great and unsearchable things, is a great honour. To be given an open door of opportunity to bring heaven to earth is a privilege I do not deserve. It is grace. This is the particular type of work I have been given right now.

I have seen so many miracles. I have stood and been amazed at the changes that happen because I have interceded with bold requests that I believe the Father has already made way for.

Who do I pray for?

This week I am praying for babies to be conceived, for the enemy of bitterness and resentment to be gone over people, for neighbours to be healed, and many other needs. I pray for the people around me—for my family and my husband, my neighbours and friends, the school my children go to and the work my husband does. I pray for my church and the leaders. I pray for my passions and desire to write good things, and I pray for you, my readers.

What is it that God wants you to know today?

Right now, it is a reminder of the power of the name of Jesus—that we can command the enemy to withdraw in Jesus’ name and he will flee. We can seek the will of God and speak His name over circumstances, drawing people back to His comforting, loving embrace in times of trials or upheaval.

The prayer shield

Both my husband and I have a strong Christian heritage on every side of our family who pray. This makes us feel extremely rich. Last weekend we honoured Ben’s mum who has just turned 70. All 7 children and their husbands/wives and their 29 grandchildren were present for the weekend long celebrations. Ben’s parents dedicate a day a week to pray for each of their children and their families.

We are still recipients of the legacy of prayers from Ben’s grandparents who are no longer with us. Ben’s grandma used to go for a walk every morning down the forshore where she lived and pray for each member of her family by name.

Both of my grandma’s are now widows and are also faithful prayer warriors. One of my grandma’s who we call ‘Farm Grandma’, because she lives on the family farm next door to my mum and dad, and who is now in her 90’s, prays morning and night for her family (she had six children). As she gets into bed, she prays for each one by name before she sleeps, which is no easy task. Look how many of us there are now!

Farm Grandma, who can no longer see to read now, calls to mind prayers and scriptures and poems that she has memorised over her life. A few weeks ago, my Aunty found and passed onto me a beautiful and powerful prayer that is part of her repertoire called the ‘Prayer Shield’. Many years ago, Farm Grandma picked it up from the kitchen table of her own mother’s home (whom we aptly called ‘Beach Grandma’ because she lived at the beach!).

My aim is to have the ‘Prayer Shield’ memorised like Farm Grandma does so I can tuck it into my pocket and take it with me wherever go (and no matter how bad my eyesight might get in old age!). Maybe one day a future granddaughter of mine might find the old wrinkled papers and pick up the baton, and maybe she will alter the trajectory of the world in small but significant ways, making it look a little bit more like heaven, too.

Scroll down for the Prayer Shield. Feel free to print it off pocket sized like I have!

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

The last few years I have noticed a lot of talk about how to slow down, reclaim a quiet life, simplify life, recentre, protect your peace, cultivate daily tenderness, live an unhurried life (I could go on!) And I have actively sought out those things for myself during that time. I was eager to have the peace that I thought it would give me. A lot of it was helpful, but some of it was not. You see, I don’t think it is the slow or quiet life that I really need deep down. It is something else quite different. Because in the end one can be very still and quiet and unhurried but still have a soul that is restless and unsettled. I know that what I need is more than to move slow or to have spaciousness in my days—these days that are often full of activity and obligations.

In a world that has been long addicted to being busy, I can see why this idea of slow unhurried living has tugged at our hearts. But as with all things, it is possible to swing to the other extreme and become addicted to leisure or inaction or even contemplation. Either extremity is not healthy for our souls!

What I really need

I think what I really need is a life of intention and purpose. Does this not provide a deep and profound peace when one finds their place in the world and decides to live it to its fullest? And having this mindset at the centre, does it not matter then whether one finds her days either bursting or spacious? Contentment could be found either way.

“I want first of all... to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact--to borrow from the language of the saints--to live "in grace" as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony. I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, "May the outward and inward man be one." I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.”
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

To number my days

What I really want is to know that what I am doing matters eternally and that I am where I am meant to be, doing what I am made to do. I desire the satisfaction of a job well done, the sound of a hummingly delicious life full of relationship and discussion, the thrum of children in my home, the banter of passionate people thrashing out their opinions or beliefs with maturity and grace at my table. I want action to weigh out my small moments or rare days of rest or the quieter evenings of contemplation. Because to sit and smell the flowers all day, or to read endlessly, or to sleep whenever I liked, or only to play or be entertained, is not so fun when that is all one has to do. I was made for toil. I was made for the healthy rhythms of task to fence my day in. I was made for my capacity to be stretched in order to make things or build a homely atmosphere or to contribute to society or cultivate spaces to be beautiful and orderly. Just because there is noise or a lot of action, or an achy tired body, does not necessarily mean that there is a lack of peace within me.

I do not really want a slow or quiet life when I am in the Summer of my days on earth. Now is my chance to put my hand to the plough and make something of them. And anyway, I don’t want to long for a life I cannot have right now. To do so would be to fight against the very nature of things. I do have five children after all! I want them to have friends and invite them over. I want them to learn to sing and compete in a choir. I want them to be a part of youth groups and church. I want them to play sport and be a part of teams. I want them to learn instruments and go to a good school and get a wonderful education, and I want to be a part of that community with them, too. I want to invest in people and also in my church or town. I want to write and multiply the passions that God has given me. I want my husband to be a steady and reliable presence in his workplace (which is also where four of our school aged children attend). And so, we as a household find ourselves in the push and pull of lots of action and obligation and I do not want to take it all away in order to ‘live slowly’ or to ‘have more spaciousness’ or to ‘protect my peace’. No, I actually want this life. It gives it shape.

Finding purpose and intention

When I sought the Lord, He answered me. He gave me a shovel and showed me where the ground was fallow. He gave me my field. To cultivate it is to be obedient.

The Lord is teaching me the art of life and showing me what it means to make it flourish. I know that to feed my soul is an act of stewardship. This means that at times I will attempt to carve out the slow or quiet every once in a while. And isn’t that what the Sabbath is for after all? But those micro moments of rest matter too. They gift me with the decision on whether to dig into a few pages of a hearty novel or watch something with substance or to make time for a friend or do something else that might feed my inner world. But the majority of my life is made to work with my hands. This feeds my soul, too! I do not want to choose action for the sake of action but labour with intention and purpose.

To live it out

No, it is not the quiet or slow life that I really want. I may crave it sometimes when I am overwhelmed. I may need to simplify the schedule at times or take a break or pray or have times of contemplation to work out my own thoughts and get direction. But I have been given this little plot of uncultivated ground, and so I will work at it until the Lord says that I am done. And that often does not look like the simple life I once thought I wanted. I have found my place in the world—God has put me here to tend to it. My purpose in life and my life’s intention is secured, as is the peace of God within me. All because I sought the Lord and He actually answered me very practically—in a way that gave me specific work to do with my hands.

In my first book Fragrant Melodies, which I wrote after having my third child, I touched on this. Below is a page from the book.

I think I always knew that what I wanted was not just a simple quiet life. What I wanted more was a life focused with purpose and intention, and then to simply and quietly live it out.

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

The older I get the more certain I am of my convictions. There is good in this. I am not as easily swayed or affected by other people’s opinions about me. But it can make me judgmental or cynical towards others. I need to give people the grace I have been given. I look around at those around me who I know do this well. They are soft towards others. Their life reveals a steadiness, their conversation with knowledge, and their experiences with robust discussion. They listen well. They can laugh at themselves. There is an underlying gentleness in all that they do. I want to be like that—Not hardened by life, but more certain as it is lived that we all need love and sometimes that means a strong word and sometimes it does not.

That is one of the reasons I love writing poetry or stories. These forms of speech can say things that only those whose hearts are ready, can truly hear what is hidden between the lines. Writing this way can draw my thoughts out and bring shape to them without sounding like a clanging gong. Poetry and story are soft languages, don’t you think?

White Walls

White walls
Secret threads
Seeds and roses—
What was it, they all said?

I heard it like a whisper
I felt it like a whim
I caught the words mid-air
And buried them deep within.

“White is only the undercoat
The thread is to hold and follow
The seeds and roses grow and change
And you will not be the same tomorrow.”

I will choose a colour to paint the walls
The big picture remains a mystery
Tomorrow is not yet fully known
But I know it leads to Beauty.

Isn’t it amazing how God gives each of us autonomy to choose many things (like the colour we paint our walls!) while the whole time we also have to hold onto that ‘secret thread’ of faith as we follow His prompts, leadings, and the passions He has planted like seeds and roses into the soil of our souls. There are times we just need to make a choice. God might nudge us to ‘paint the walls’ but he actually wants us to use our own imagination and creativity in order to do His will. He wants us to choose the colour we like that matches with our surroundings!

God might prompt us to help a friend out, but He loves it when we are creative and add on to His promptings with our own generosity and thoughtfulness. God might give us a story or a book or a poem to write, but He delights in watching us enjoy the process and cocreate with Him. God might put it on our hearts to speak a word of encouragement to a friend, but He enjoys it when we go over and above, using our gifts to bless others. We can even be imaginative in prayer. God might bring a friend’s specific need to our minds, but He loves it when we bless them through it in creative ways.

How many times have you been surprised by God answering a prayer you didn’t think really mattered? Maybe He gifted you with something you didn’t even ask for, but only thought of in your mind? Little things, creative touches, generous thoughtfulness—all secret threads. These things say that He is present and with you. We hold onto these things like a lifeline!

It can be easy to get stuck because we are not sure what the exact right thing to do is. We want to be in God’s will and not veer off to the left or right. But sometimes, it is as easy as choosing the colour we like best while keeping in mind our current surroundings and life circumstances. all while holding onto His grace and presence—those secret threads of faith.

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

When I was a new mother, I would sometimes look at the mothers just a little bit further down the track from me and wonder what it might be like.

When many new mothers are either pregnant for the first time or have that fresh babe in arms, they might also cradle a gentle vulnerability, a childlike innocence to the future, or a lovely wistful premonition about the days ahead. But it is not usually too long before there is an attack on her hopeful outlook when her eyes become tinted with the lens of weariness and sleep deprivation or when overwhelm creeps in and tells her of the huge task that lays ahead. This is where, as a new mother, her eyes start looking at older mothers inquisitively, hoping to find hope and encouragement. Sometimes she finds it and sometimes she doesn’t.

This is a reflection on the two different types of responses I experienced, what I wish was said to me, what I wish was not, and what I would like to say to new mothers with that fresh babe in arms. I would like to give her an opportunity to continue to cradle that gentle vulnerability, a childlike innocence about the future, and a lovely wistful premonition about the days ahead. When circumstances (or people) might try and tell her otherwise, I want to give her a hope and encouragement that might continue to echo in her ears saying, “Keep going, for there is much beauty in the making.”

My first baby was not a ‘hard baby’. She rarely cried, fell asleep in the car, transferred well, and mostly taught herself to self-settle. She was able to cruise around with me, fitting into the life I already lived with my graphic design business and client meetings. However, my second baby was not so chill. My whole world felt upended as soon as I brought him home. He cried for about eight hours every day, screamed in the car (the longer the drive, the more worked up he got), did not breastfeed well, would not take a bottle or dummy (pacifier if you are not Australian!), needed white noise and pristine conditions to sleep, and was only really content if he was moving.

And so, it was here I started looking at older mothers with curiosity. What advice did they have? Many of the mothers had good, hope-filled, and encouraging things to say. But the harsh and negative words are always so memorable and can stick to you like barbed wire! These comments seemed to disregard my first wobbly steps forward as a new mother and instead, told me how much harder it would get when the children got older.

“Just you wait!” They would say.

I thought it was like telling a toddler, while just learning to walk, just how hard it is to run 5km while they were still face planted on the ground after attempting to walk. I looked at these older mothers who ‘ran 5km’ every day with sweat dripping from their brow and really longed for them to tell me all about the places they got to see, how nice it was to feel the wind in the hair, or about the strong muscles and endurance they now had after these years of mothering. I wanted them to remember the early days of struggle and face planting with compassion.

I knew that motherhood would be hard work, require discipline, and that I would experience fatigue or exhaustion. But right in that moment while I was learning to walk, I was dreaming about what it would be like to have a greater strength and capacity to face those days into the future. I needed hope and encouragement to get up one more time after my baby steps, which at the time required so much thought and all of my strength. How could it be any harder than this?! I thought. Hope was nowhere to be found in the comments of these mothers who complained or warned me that things would only get harder.

I realise now, that it is those very same mothers who said these things when their children were babies, too. For some, it is a particular type of outlook that is built into their lenses as they look at the world around them. I remember those mothers struggling when they had babies and were finding their feet in their new roles. They required a lot of help. They had been the victim of their hard circumstances, and now that their children were older, they still struggled with that mindset.

My point for sharing this is not to talk down upon these ladies. They are my friends. But I do want to point out the pattern—that if we cannot enjoy the season we are in, even amongst its struggles—whether it be the early stages of learning to walk the road of motherhood, being excited about our first clumsy steps, finding the humour in our wobbly attempts of running, and then onto training for our first 5km mothering days—than we might always have that negative mindset.

I think all mothers know that there will be hard work involved in raising children. It is hard to learn to walk, and it is hard to begin to run 5km when you never have done it before. But we cannot discredit those early years where mothers are just finding their feet and taking their first steps.

As a mother who is right in the middle, with five children between the ages of 2-11, but no teenagers yet, let me encourage you, younger mother.

It is really hard in those early years. It is physically hard. You are only just learning to walk. Everything is new and each step requires a lot of thought and effort. But keep picking yourself up, day after day, and press on. Your muscles will grow stronger and your capacity larger.

Motherhood is a marathon. But you are not running the whole race today. Today, you are just learning to walk, and I am cheering you on! I know that right now it is hard to imagine that you could ever reach the level of fitness and capacity that you dream of, but do not give up. Be consistent and persistent. One day you will run and feel the wind in your hair again and go to beautiful places you have never seen before.

Yes, it is true that if you saw me some days, you would be shocked at how much sweat I have dripping from my brow. You might also sometimes see me collapsed on the floor, exhausted. But I will not just tell you about how steep the hills of motherhood are or complain about my weary legs. I will make sure to tell you about the valleys of wildflowers and the beauty here, too.

I love my family and can look fondly on the early years of motherhood and laugh at my clumsiness now. I am still in training for the marathon of motherhood, and I look forward to meeting you on the track. Do not be disheartened when you see other mothers running past you, faster or more gracefully. The goal is to run the race marked out specifically for you. Do not compare. God knows where you started and how much training or help you have or have not received to get going. Comparing will rob you of the joy to be found in the days you are living, right now.

Jesus is there to pick you up when you stumble, but don’t forget to pick your friends up too, giving them hope and encouragement. We need to take it in turns sometimes, being like Jesus to one another. Our capacities will always be stretching from strength to strength, so let us continue together with perseverance, for there is much beauty in the making and valleys of wildflowers to witness!

With love and grace,

Sarah Alison

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

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My family walks into church a little wind swept. The two youngest are in the double pram, a few have fists full of yellow dandelions from the roadside, one has an old screw claimed as treasure from the footpath, and one already has a grazed knee. I think we must look like quite a sight walking down the street in our Sunday best with five children in tow. Our home is a few streets away from our church and is the one we have been going to for about 14 years.

We have belonged to this church for a long time now. We have stuck out many changes in leadership and a church split, all while we walked through our own struggles of infertility and many years of growing a family. We served the youth group when we were childless and had the time and energy, and we’ve persisted in going on a Sunday morning through the kids’ naptimes and hundreds of sleepless nights. It’s a habit that we have kept as a priority. This is the part of the church body we have felt called to be part of, so this is where we go. This routine is also part of training and discipling our children in the ways of the Lord. We teach them about propriety. We teach them that observing the sabbath and meeting regularly together as believers to encourage each other and learn about scripture is more important than things like work, playing sport, or birthday parties.

A number of years ago I was chatting to a few mothers at church who had older children than mine. I think I may have had three at that stage. I noticed that their children could sit quietly and listen for the whole sermon without any kind of distraction or technology device to entertain them. I asked them what they had done with their children when they were younger. Did they do something different? I wanted to teach mine to do the same, so I asked for their advice. What they said confirmed that we were on the right track.

I was so relieved to have these ladies agree with our stance on small children’s behaviour in church, as it wasn’t something that was common around me at the time with the younger families, and when bringing the topic up with those mothers, I had found that it would sometimes come across as condescending or ‘better than thou’. So, please know, this is not my intention. But in sharing this view, I am simply saying, “There is another way.” You don’t know what you don’t know. So, if you are like me, and are looking for a confirmation to do things differently to those around you, here it is. It is really just old-fashioned advice anyway. This is the way both Ben and I were brought up, so we are just doing what we were taught, but not everyone has had this experience!

Ben’s mum used to very often be the solo parent during church with her crew of seven children, as Ben’s dad was in ministry and usually away for the weekend or preaching somewhere (he was an itinerant evangelist). Ben remembers going to traditional Sunday School BEFORE the church service, so they were all taught to sit through the entire service after that.

We have received lots of comments in recent years on how our children behave well in church. Some parents, also with small children, will then throw up their arms in despair because they think their children could never do that and it must be because of their rambunctious personalities. And although there are genuine challenges, and I know that some kids are harder than others, our children are intentionally being taught to sit still and behave a certain way from a very young age. It didn’t just happen.

A disclaimer: we don’t have perfect kids. They still get restless and still require teaching! They might even just show me up at church this coming Sunday after writing about this topic, just to keep me on my toes. Pray for me!

Babies

When they are babies, unless they need a nappy change, a feed, or are crying, keep them in the service. When they start babbling, rolling and crawling, the fun is just beginning! This is where the training starts.

Our kids all learnt to nap during church. Some of them fell asleep while snuggled in our arms and others required some movement. If they need to nap, do what needs to be done and then come back into the service and let them sleep near you or in your arms. I have sometimes had older ‘grandparent type’ members of the church offer to walk around with my baby in the pram until they fall asleep. They knew my routine, and it gave them joy to be able to help out. Enjoy having a sleeping child!

If they are awake, teach them to stay on your lap, in the space in front of your seat or near your seat. Bring a playmat or blanket to guide them. Bring them back when they go too far. Bring appropriate quiet toys. They don’t really understand the concept of ‘sshhh’ just yet, but you can start doing it, holding your finger up to your lips while making eye contact. They often understand these cues much earlier than we expect, especially when done consistently!

Don’t despair if you don’t get much out of the service yourself at this point. Your worship to God is also to teach, disciple, and serve your child. This perspective changes everything.

Toddlers

Napping toddlers during church is like winning the lottery. Enjoy it when it happens. But mostly, toddlers need a lot of direction to behave appropriately in church. With the boundaries already in place, they should not venture too far or run laps in the aisles while the sermon is on. They can sit on your lap or on the seat next to you at the beginning. When the singing is happening, pick them up and let them be a part of it, hearing your voice worship, swaying to the music, and watching people around you. This is the best way to keep an eye on them during this part of the service.

Bring clean-ish snacks for the sermon, like sultanas or crackers. We usually wait until the sermon starts for them to have these. We don’t go to church to eat, so it is never the first thing that we give them when church starts and we sit down. We also don’t get the toys out until sermon time. We make them sit still without anything for a bit, and then when the older kids are gone out to ‘kids church’, then they can play quietly or have a snack.

The temptation at this point is to take them out to the baby’s room as soon as they get a bit rowdy and just camp out there until church is over. This is something we have intentionally never done. If the toddler is misbehaving, we take them out of the church into a quiet space, talk very firmly to them about what we expect, and then bring them back in to sit down with us.

Another thing we have never done is give them technology to keep them occupied and quiet. If you give them something once, they expect it every time! Instead, keep a stash of special toys in a bag that are especially for church. Things like little toy cars, small dolls, a crayon and tiny pad of paper, a book, etc.

Young children

Something that we have done is to keep each of our children in through the whole church service until they are four to five years old (around kindy age). Even though they have a program at our church for ages three years and older, we have chosen not to send them out to that. Instead, they learn to sit in church with us. This solidifies the training of appropriate behaviour in church. They are very excited when the time finally comes when they are allowed to go to ‘Kindy Kids!’

The routine stays in place. A little snack, a few toys to play with quietly. Usually at this point each of our kids have had one or two siblings also in church which brings extra challenges.

Multiple young children

For many years, Ben and I have navigated having three small children sitting in church with us. Having both parents in the service is extremely helpful when having multiple young children sitting through the whole service, especially if one is a baby. But Ben and I have both done church solo many times now when someone has to stay home with a sick child. Ben is also away for work on school camps a number of times a year. It can be done! This has meant Ben or I have chosen not to take on active roles in serving during the morning service while our children are very young. (I know this isn’t always possible or desired!)

Separate snack bags and separate toys are helpful for the toddlers and young children when it comes to negotiation as to who has what during the service.

During school holidays when there are no kids’ programs on is when things ramp up a bit. Our church provides little holiday packs that get picked up at the entry which makes things easier! The same standard of behaviour is expected—all of the kids stand up and participate during the worship songs, listen to the announcements, or sit at the front for the holiday children’s talk. It is only when the sermon begins that they can start colouring in or doing the activities provided by the church. The older children don’t usually get snacks.

Logistically, Ben and I usually sit on either end of the row with our five kids in the seats between us. We find this arrangement is usually the best for our young family, but it will probably change as they get older. Hopefully one day we will get to hold hands in church again!

Modelled behaviour

One more thing I wanted to mention is that our children pick up on the behaviours and habits of their parents. If they see their parents bring their bible, they might too. If they see their parents on their phones during the service, they will think that is normal and appropriate behaviour also.

Not long ago I saw a parent of young children on their phone, clicking through their amazon haul during church. The other parent was on social media most of the time. I wasn’t snooping, it was just in full view right in front of me! I would say this is not what most parents would want their children to do, so we have to raise the bar and lead the way on what kind of behaviour is appropriate during church.

A good lesson for life

The skill of sitting quietly from a young age is so handy to have. Even last week, I had two school awards mornings to attend, and my two youngest children who are always with me at this stage, obviously had to come. For many years I have had to bring three kids, so two kids feel like a break to me! I knew they could both manage to sit quietly for 1-2 hours. They have done it many times before, so it isn’t a new concept for them. Both times I had multiple parents comment on how well they did.

Church is not the only place we teach our children to behave with decorum. Dinner time is another occasion we solidify the training. When Ben does the Bible reading or devotion every night is another. By the time the children are ready to start school, they know the basics, leading them in good stead for learning within a group setting.

It is never too late to implement changes and teach children in the way they should go. And the training never ends! There will always be challenges and bumps in the road. But to have a goal, a ‘why’ behind what we do (or don’t do) helps the process. I hope this gives some ideas and helps you in raising godly children who respect authority, behave with propriety, participate in learning, and are considerate of others.

From my experience, most people are very accommodating to the noises of a young, growing family. This is part of life and having a thriving church! Keep persevering and you will see the fruits of your labour.

We are still in the middle of this journey ourselves and still have a long way to go, so please know we are continually learning and by no means have it all figured out!

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

With much love and grace,

Buy me a coffee

I write to spur you on towards love and good deeds, or in other words—to be a Beauty Maker.

I have always contemplated the world through a microscopic lens, often trying to find deeper meaning in what I see and experience. I love peeling back the layers and finding the very presence and love of God in it all. That is my treasure. This is what drives what I write.

Your companionship is my biggest encouragement but if you wish to spur me on with other means, I am so grateful!

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