It was time for my every-five-months eye doctor appointment. I am grateful that a vision issue they need to check has so far remained quietly lurking (barest bit of macular degeneration). It’s good to confirm that all is well. But I don’t like having blurry vision for the rest of the day because of having my eyes dilated. My eyes are sensitive, and lighter colored (green), so it takes forever for the dilation drops to wear off.

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I have a wonderful eye doctor, Dr. Susan Margolis, who did an amazing cataract surgery on my partner Jeffrey. She is an incredibly skilled and kind doctor.

But this time around, in thinking about the upcoming appointment, my mind traveled back in time to my first eye doctor in New York City, Dr. Eleanor Faye.

I first arrived in New York City in 1978, way before everyone had smartphones and computers. A time when people learned about good doctors from friends, family, teachers. There was no way to just look up a doctor for instant reviews. I tried to get doctor references from people who I knew were really picky about who they went to.

My singing teacher, Marcy Lindheimer, who became a renowned Feldenkrais1 practitioner and then practitioner of Anat Baniel method2, referred me to Dr. Faye. (Marcy also was instrumental in giving me the confidence to adopt my first two cats and was the first person to tell me about TTouch!) I never had glasses before, and she assured me that Dr. Faye would give me a perfect prescription.

Dr. Faye did that and much more. She was a doctor who truly treated like me an individual. Her advice, treatment for a number of issues, and prescriptions, were based on much more than numbers and charts.

Her waiting room was such a welcoming place. It was like a small living room, furnished with antique furniture - upholstered chairs and sofa, wooden side tables, interesting lamps. Classic-looking old paintings.

All the paperwork was filled out by hand and the secretary had a manual typewriter for any typing necessary.

When I was called into her office, Dr. Faye was warm, and direct. Each person’s chart consisted of hand-written index cards, on which she would make some notes on during the appointment. Even her writing looked friendly - rounded letters of cursive writing.

The room was comfortable, not clinical-looking.

As she examined my eyes, she also asked some questions to find out more about me as a person. Not invasive questions — questions that told me she wanted to get to know me a little bit. Questions that told me she wasn’t looking to simply take measurements and write down numbers and get to the next patient. She wasn’t talking down to me. Hers was a holistic approach in the sense of seeing a whole person, not just their eyes, but the inner person as well as the outer being.

She took her time.

As she realized how different my right and left eye are, she said, “Your eyes are two different people!” Exactly what they feel like. One is nearsighted, the other is far-sighted, and my left eye really does most of the seeing.

And a really crazy coincidence - when I told her where I grew up, we discovered that when she was going to medical school, she lived literally two blocks away from our family’s house in San Francisco!

When she got to making a prescription, again it wasn’t just “by the numbers”. Since my right eye has much worse vision than my left eye, she didn’t want to correct my good eye “too” much, as it would feel too odd compared to the other eye. She also recommended a special type of material for the lenses so that the lens for the right eye wouldn’t be too thick.

She pulled out lenses one by one from a beautiful leather case, testing two at a time, going back and forth to see what was better. I loved how the case looked well-worn. Those lenses had come in and out of that case so many times by now. Even by the standards of the 80s, everything about her office and the visit felt old-school, in the best way. I felt cared-for, and like I was communicating with someone who was so very real and human.

I went to Dr. Faye for many years, and just had two prescriptions from her over all those years. The second prescription I still use today, at least 25 years later! I am about to get a new prescription just for very close work but that second prescription is still very good for reading for me.

And an interesting story about the second prescription: we had to pause for a few minutes right in the midst of her holding up different lenses and checking which was best for me. That was because this appointment was during a very stressful period of time in my life. My anxiety could suddenly set my heart racing and my breathing getting faster (even within a situation I wasn’t really anxious about). As Dr. Faye was trying to check my vision, it kept changing because my heart was racing. I told her I was very stressed. She was so kind, and calm. Just feeling that I was being heard, I felt my heart slowing and she gave me the prescription that I still use today.

In looking at her bio, I saw that she was the first woman resident at Manhattan Eye, Ear and Throat Hospital, and was an attending surgeon there for many years. Then she worked at Lighthouse Guild, an affiliation that lasted until she left at age 90. Her work in the field of low vision was groundbreaking. Rather than focusing on the limitations that someone with low vision had, she focused on the positive — helping the person use what vision they had to the best of their ability, and helping them to be able to continue to lead full and productive lives.

Though I was sad to hear of her passing in 2020, at age 97, it makes me smile to know that she lived such a long and fulfilling life. I think of how many people she must have helped in all those years. I will remember her always - her intelligence, kindness, and her willingness to take time. Her clear vision in every way.

This substack is free, but you are welcome to give me a tip so that I can purchase more treats for the rescue cats I work with, or buy a cuppa tea for me. Click here or on the picture below to go to the link to do that. Thanks so much!

Today I want to share with you about two very different sessions with my senior Chihuahua friend, Mr. Chubbs.

I am working with him with Reiki1, TTouch2 and other modalities. I learn so much from each session that I do.

August 13 Session

Chubbs usually paces around a for a bit before settling down for a session. This day, he was doing more pacing than usual. I kept expecting him to finally settle down, but that wasn’t happening. Sometimes he would pause, looking out into space, seeming very disoriented.

I needed to acknowledge what was happening with him, but I also had to see what I could do to remain grounded and trust that he would receive the Reiki that he needed that day, to trust that he was receiving the energy healing in the way he was meant to that particular day. Important not to go into a space of worry, which, in addition to not being helpful in any way, also pulls me out of being in the moment with the animal. Reiki goes where it is needed, and I reminded myself to trust the work.

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At one point Chubbs was taken outside for a few minutes in case he had to pee or poop.

What was interesting in that moment was that Piper, the youngest and biggest dog of the four dogs in the house, came right to me as though to say it was her turn.

I started demonstrating the Ear TTouch to Caroline (the dogs’ human mom) and explaining how it could be so helpful because there are many acupressure points in the ear that connect to digestion, respiration, etc. And that it can help shift a dog’s energy into a more relaxed mode.

As though on cue, the minute I started to say this, Piper laid down and stretched out, relaxing completely into my hands! And of course, all the TTouches could be helpful to all of the dogs in the house. Piper is a pup, but the others are all seniors.

Demo of Ear TTouch Here

I also demonstrated TTouch Hair Slides, which are especially wonderful to do with Piper as she has long, thick fur. But hair slides can even be done with animals with very little fur - you just use more visualization in combination with the work. It’s a lovely overall TTouch that can bring a sense of relaxation and connection through the body.

Demo of Hair Slides

Piper has been learning to offer her paw with her training, so when she extended her paw to me repeatedly - which was so charming - I was able to do a few little TTouches on her paws each time. Caroline said that Piper generally wasn’t too sure about being touched on her paws, so this would be really helpful on a practical level in addition to being something that can feel good for the animal once they get accustomed to being touched there. Additionally, in the same way that reflexology works for people, with different parts of the hand corresponding to different parts of the body, the same holds true for animals’ paws.

Demo of Paw TTouch:)

Jackie Segers has written a wonderful book on Reflexology for Cats, and most recently her book Reflexology for Dogs has become available as well.

Buy Jackie's Dog Reflexology Book

Buy Jackie's Reflexology for Cats book

When Chubbs was brought back inside, he continued to pace, though he did slow down at one point and I was able to do some mouth TTouch with him. That was interesting, as he generally doesn’t like to be touched around the face. He laid down for a short while.

Meanwhile Birdie, a delightful little white dog, came closer and laid down nearby. The other dogs often come closer to me during the session and relax into the energy, even though my attention is focused on Mr. Chubbs.

Chubbs soon got up and began his pacing again. I gave it some more time, but then after being there over 90 minutes, I decided to end the session.

Of course it can be hard to feel assured that something happened, but I did feel connection between me and Chubbs, even with all the pacing. I had a feeling that Chubbs would experience a delayed reaction to the session.

It also seemed that I was meant to spend some time focusing on Piper that day.

I told Caroline that at times, Reiki can have a delayed reaction. And that most likely, Chubbs would settle down into a deep sleep once I left.

5 Minutes After I Left…

Caroline texted me that Chubbs had indeed had settled and was in a peaceful sleep:)

I did a little research to see how common delayed reactions are with Animal Reiki, and it seems that they are quite common. I have been working with animals with Reiki for many years, and mostly the animals relax during the session, but I have had intermittent instances where that isn’t the case.

The bottom line is to trust the work - that the energy is going where it is needed.

For quite a while I was going to work with Chubbs in the afternoon, as that seemed in general to be a good time for him energy-wise, but this session was one of several in a row that I did in the morning with Chubbs. Since he gets a dose of gabapentin (which he takes for pain, but also can make him sleepy) in the morning, we thought that perhaps he would more likely settle in a morning session. But after this session, we decided to do the next one in the afternoon.

August 19 Session

The next session was a completely different vibe. Chubbs was already settled in his usual place on his pillows, and settled right in for the whole session. It felt wonderful to go right into that beautiful space of calm connection.

And again, the other dogs participated in the session in their own ways.

Piper came up on the couch to be nearer to me, and later on in the session, she came to the end of the couch which was closer to me, which is not her usual spot. I did some TTouch with her after my session with Chubbs.

Again, she laid down and relaxed.

And when I left, I saw that Penny and Birdie, who normally can’t stand each other, were laying right next to each other.

At the End of the Day…

Part of the lesson in looking at these two sessions is looking at the good that was able to happen in both of them, even though they went along very different paths. Not passing judgement.

And the biggest message to me was a reminder to just stay in the moment, and to see what can happen there.

I can’t wait til our next session together.

Isn’t Mr. Chubbs so charming? I love him so much and had to make a Tshirt of him - actually there are two different color schemes for the T. - click on either one of the pictures below to go directly to the corresponding link in my etsy shop.

This substack is free, but click here or on the picture below if you’d like to tip me so I can buy more tips for my animal friends or some new paintbrushes to make more work!

In the course of my life, I have held a long list of occupations. A variety of jobs to keep a roof overhead in order to continue my creative pursuits.

Back in the 1980s, I worked with a number of temporary employment agencies and held a variety of office jobs. Initially they were jobs that didn’t require typing. I was forced to take a mandatory typing class in 8th grade from a severe-looking, no-nonsense teacher, but it didn’t take. I thought it was boring and when was I ever going to use that skill(!)?

Most of the non-typing jobs involved answering phones, a bit of filing, sending faxes, making xerox copies. Later on I learned proofreading, re-learned typing and learned word processing, which made more money and led to a few semi-permanent jobs along the way.

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But the receptionist/semi-secretary jobs landed me in some interesting places: the Metropolitan Museum, a wide variety of doctor’s offices (when at one of them, a secretary gave me a doctor’s coat so I could use it in a performance), the drug rehab unit of a psychiatric hospital.

One of the most charming places where I worked unexpectedly appeared in my mind today as a memory flowed through.

To set the scene, getting dressed to go to a day job was really a chore. I didn’t really have corporate clothing. I was used to working at retail stores where they encouraged us to wear wild clothing. I got a couple of black skirts at a cheapo place like Rainbow, and shoes at Payless (one of my fave stores, but some of those cheap, fun shoes are uncomfortable). Blouse? I have no idea what I did, I think I wore a turtleneck and then a blazer over that. I had purple and red streaks in my hair, so I covered those with a headband. Pantyhose? Only had black of course. Everything was wrinkled cause I hated ironing, but it would have to do.

I wish I could remember the name of the place, perhaps if I try not to think about it, the name will eventually appear. I didn’t realize til I got there that it was a small shop that sold only ribbons. I didn’t see the full array till later on, as most were in a back room, but what a sweet place to spend a day. The store was run by a lovely older man in a light gray suit. The phones weren’t very busy, so I was glad I had brought a book.

At the end of my shift, as I was getting my time card signed, the kind older man came towards me and handed me a pair of shears, and a bag. “Take whatever ribbons you want!” he said. He opened the door to the magical back room, which was a treasure trove!

Now, these were not your cheap gift wrapping-type ribbons that you see today. These were beautiful old-school ribbons that you could sew onto clothing, or wear in your hair, or of course use to make gift wrapping extra special. They were all made out of high-quality, sturdy, beautiful fabric. Every width, color, texture one could imagine. Beautiful shiny satin ribbons in all widths, some in solid colors and some with lovely paisley patterns, thin ribbons of all kinds and colors of fabric, ribbons of translucent fabric with little lines of sparkly thread running through. Ribbons with little flowers sewn on them. Thin fabric, thick fabric, shiny, matte, solids, stripes, checkers, polka dots, little stars. The ribbons that stick in my mind most are the beautiful embroidered ribbons in rich colors. The embroidered kind of ribbons that some of us sewed around the cuffs, along the pockets or along the side of our jeans back in the day. The embroidered burgundy ribbon particularly stays in my mind. That ribbon I just kept, rather than using it on something, because it felt too nice to use. Nothing was made of cheap fabric that falls apart. With the combo of too much coffee, not enough sleep and the overwhelm of all these beautiful ribbons, I started to feel a little dizzy!

The man smiled as I slowly took some different ribbons. I would ask him, are you sure I can take some of this one or that one? Even this fancy one? Oh yes.

I ended up with a medium sized bag filled with ribbons of all widths, textures, colors, fabrics. It seemed enough for a lifetime.

And indeed, all these decades later, somewhere in the archaeological dig that is my studio, I still have the bag and some of the ribbons. I tried to find it for this post, but so far am unsuccessful in doing that:) But in my mind, I still hold the image of the burgundy colored embroidered ribbon. And the smile on the face of the lovely, kind man who knew he made my day.

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In the comments please share about an unusual job you may have had.

My substack is free, but feel free to click here or on the kitty pic below to give me a tip to help me buy extra treats for the rescue cats I work with, or a cuppa tea for me:)

When I was a kid, very early on I learned some basic sewing, knitting and needlepoint from both my grandmothers. My Great-Grandma Morris (who I will write about at length at some point!) took sewing to another level, making beautiful quilts for the family that we had for decades, til they finally fell apart.

She was also an animal lover. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far… She also wrote a short autobiography on a manual typewriter, of which I have one of the few copies, called “My First 80 Years”. I think the sarcasm runs in the family as well!

I really enjoyed sewing as a child, there was something peaceful about the activity, even in the simple process of sewing a button or snap back on an article of clothing. My mom was happy for me to be the button and snap-sewer in the house, as her eyes had trouble with really close work like that.

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And Now… the Adventure Begins!

Most recently, I have been seeing some inspiring embroidery such as that done by and by . I also know some wonderful artists such as Barbara Ellmann (please read my post about her here) and China Marks, who incorporate sewing into their artwork.

Having never learned or even tried embroidery, I decided to give it a go. I watched some videos by , and I love his intuitive approach. I went to Michael’s and got a bunch of embroidery thread, along with some thinner sparkly thread (of course, I need to have sparkles in most things I do). Needles, hoops in a few sizes, a special needle threader for embroidery thread.

I looked at a few videos of basic stitches and decided to just go ahead and improvise. Here is what I came up with for my first project:

I will likely sew that one onto a handbag, I haven’t decided yet.

Tiny Canvases

But then my next thought was, why not do some tiny, colorful cat portraits and make them into pendants? I love making these wearable pieces that are each so unique.

(Please note that if you click on the photos with single images of the pendants, it will take you directly to the link to view the piece in my etsy shop.)

Again, I had a basic idea of what I was going to do but once I got stitching, the needle and thread seemed to lead me to other ideas of how to juxtapose different colors and patterns, working some of the glittery thread into the images.

It’s like working on tiny canvases, with stitches as the brushstrokes or pencil marks. I gathered some different types of objects to use as the “frame” for the embroidered portraits. Some are inset in standard square metal bezel pendant trays, such as this:

Others are incorporated into re-purposed costume jewelry, backing it with thin plastic, so the pendants can look pretty interesting on the other side, with all the colors smushed up against the clear plastic.

To add extra sparkle, on some of them I add rhinestones.

I love all the beautiful colors of the embroidery thread, and I know I will be getting more! I’m really enjoying playing around with the colors and textures in this process.

I do plan to do some larger projects with embroidery as well, they are just starting to take form in my mind.

Stay tuned and you will see more! Most of the works you see here are available in my etsy shop here.

In the meantime, tell me about any art that you are working on!

To close, I want to share a song called “Inside My Mind (lyrics below).”

Inside my mind

There is a place where I go
Inside my mind
Sparks on the fire glow
Beyond time

Ooh inside my mind

No one knows where I go
Inside my mind
No one can control
What I might find

Ooh inside my mind

Keep on the path I have to follow
That small spark lights the way
Keep on the path so far away from
The earthly worries of the day

All the pieces come together
Colors and patterns
Something just beyond my reach
Everything else melts away
Following the path to the sun on the horizon

There’s a place where I go 
Inside my mind
That I protect til my dying day
A place of clarity and peace
No one can ever take away

Inside my mind

This substack is free, but click here or on the picture below if you would like to give me a tip to buy some more embroidery thread or treats for the rescue cats I work with.

The Challenge

Most of you who read my articles are animal lovers, and you know how hard it is when one of your animal friends isn’t feeling well. Yesterday morning I woke up with such overwhelming anxiety as Lulu, one of my two dear kitties, hasn’t been well.

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My partner Jeffrey gets up before I do (I am more of a night owl) and the girls have started to develop a routine of both coming up on the bed to join me, which is delightful. And amazing, considering they were once feral cats. We hang out and share Reiki1 and TTouch2 before getting up.

Learn About My Work With Animals

A Revelation

Yesterday morning, Natalia was right near me when I woke up, and Lulu came up once she realized I was awake. Meanwhile I was trying to calm my anxious energy, but it wasn’t working. My heart was still pounding and it felt like my brain was swirling around and around with worried thoughts.

I laid down with my head in between my two cats.

I started saying to both my cats, “I am so grateful for you, and I love you both so much. I am so happy you are here, I love you, and I know we will be a part of each other always. I am so grateful and I love you so much.” I was doing TTouch with both of them, and they both began purring, Natalia with her low-pitched purr and Lulu with her higher-pitched purr, a harmony of purrs and incredible vibration. It looked like they were both smiling.

I started to feel my whole being shift.

Suddenly I was just connected with the cats and the moment and that space of love and gratitude. The moment I began to speak to them, I felt all that worry and anxiety begin to dissipate. Just feeling that connection and the beauty of that moment. Knowing that the moment is all there is. Something that seems so simple can have such a profound effect. When I have them on either side of me purring and looking so comfortable, I am just in that space where I feel that love and that perfection of the moment, rather than the worry about what is happening or going to happen.

I started to think of something that Linda Tellington-Jones (the founder of TTouch) says quite often. She says that fear and gratitude can not live in the same space. So that if you can find a space of gratitude, the fear will have to dissipate. I had been thinking a lot about Linda, especially as it was her birthday the day before this happened. I am so grateful for her, for her work, for her teachings, and for her as a person. She has inspired and continues to inspire me in so many ways.

Later that morning, I started to get into the worried space again, but thinking about what had happened earlier helped me to ease out of it. I know that my cats are extremely tuned into my energy, and so that the more I can let go of my anxiety, the better off we all will be. Having a sense of perspective can be really important as well.

We All Work on Getting Better

This is turning into an ongoing journey with Lulu, but she is stable now and we are little by little getting more information so we will be better able to help her. Many thanks especially to our wonderful holistic vet, Dr. Pat Bradley3 and our local vets Dr. Kross and Dr. Ferreri at Rivergate Vet.

Above: Lulu relaxing after morning Reiki

I have been telling her that every day that she is going to get better, that we will get her whatever help she needs so she can get better. I feel like she really hears me when I say that. Often I will rub a custom Bach Flower remedy4 I made for her on her as I speak to her. It feels like the energy of that intention creates a positive force.

I try and catch myself when that worried headspace tries to reappear. Something that can be helpful to ask myself is, “Is there something I can do to help?” (such as taking her to the vet, or speaking to the vet, doing Reiki and TTouch with her (which we do anyway, but I do extra things with them when they are not well), or trying a new food, depending on what’s going on).

But often, you have done all those things, so you then need to deal with your persisting worry.

One recent morning when my anxiety was taking hold of me, suddenly I heard the word “Acceptance” in my mind. And I heard the word again several times. And then “Acceptance of what is - in the moment”. And what if I can help create a moment that is beautiful, by sharing Reiki and love with my cats? Perhaps in that moment we can all feel better.

Below is a quick demo of Ear TTouch, which can be helpful any time, as there are many acupressure points in the ear, but it can be particularly helpful for digestive or respiratory issues and stress in general.

I also wanted to share this video of me sharing Mouth TTouch with my cats. Touching around the mouth helps connect with the limbic system, which has to do with emotions. Lulu seems to particularly love this TTouch - she always has, but now her reaction seems even stronger. In addition to helping her relax, this TTouch appears to be relieving some gastrointestinal discomfort she has been having. She immediately lays right into my hand.

Something else that is interesting: last year, Lulu’s upper left canine suddenly came out on its own. Ever since then, Lulu has seemed to especially enjoy Mouth TTouch on her left side.

Natalia is head-shy and has taken quite a long time to get used to touch around the mouth, but you can see in this clip she is relaxing completely into it. I mix in some chin scratches too:)

Mouth TTouch has a practical application as well. Because the animal slowly gets used to a routine of being gently touched around the mouth, it can make it easier to try to brush an animal’s teeth (I just wrap a piece of sterile gauze around my finger and gently wipe the teeth) or if you have to pill them, can make that easier as well.

(click the button below for more extensive tutorials and demos of TTouch and other modalities)

My TTouch YouTube channel

BrightHaven Sanctuary

What happened the other day makes me recall an amazing Reiki workshop I took with Animal Reiki pioneer Kathleen Prasad at Brighthaven Sanctuary5 in California. The sanctuary had animals of all types: horses, cows, a mini-donkey, a pig, a goose, ducks, cats, dogs, fish. Kathleen did workshops there often, so the animals clearly recognized the Reiki energy and were so receptive to it.

On the last day, I went to share Reiki with a mini-donkey named E.J. and two beautiful horses. The horses came right up to the fence and E.J. came from far away and stood right in between the horses. We were supposed to focus on one of the Reiki precepts. Suddenly I heard the words of the second Reiki precept, “For today only, do not worry.”

I felt such an incredible connection with the animals in this moment. I felt it in my heart and soul with such depth it brought tears to my eyes. All three all started kissing and nuzzling my hands. We were one with the sky and the wind and the air, one with the universe. A moment that I will never forget.

Something that made it all the more powerful was knowing that all these animals had been through their own trauma and yet they were so open to connection. I felt that I was the one receiving the healing. Click below to read the full post on my adventures at this sanctuary - which was written on my blog about my work with animals which I wrote for many years, before starting my substack.

Read the full story here

Further Thoughts…

Moments like those that happened the other morning and what happened at the sanctuary can be such incredible resources to draw on when those moments of anxiety and worry come up. Just visualizing the cats purring on either side of me as I express my gratitude to them or imagining E.J. and the horses nuzzling my hand and telling me to let go of worry, can’t help but make me smile and exhale.

I am so grateful for all of you, and for the amazing animals and people in my life. Most days feel absolutely magical, despite the fact that we are living in the midst of a time of such insanity in the world.

Somatic Experiencing Calming Technique

To close, I will share with you a 10-minute video that guides you through six calming hand positions from a modality called Somatic Healing. It can be so helpful in shifting out of anxiety. Message me if you have any questions about it too.

I would love to hear about any ways that you pet parents deal with handling your own stress when your animal friends are having health challenges. Share with me in the comments, I love to hear from you. And reach out if you would like to have a session in person or Zoom.

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Thanks for reading Notes From An Uncaged Warrior Parakeet! This post is public so feel free to share it. Check my website on my work with animals, as well as my art site and etsy shop. Also have a look at my blog which I wrote from 2009-2018 for many many more animal stories. If you are interested in any of the art you see in this post, message me.

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This substack is free, but click here or on the picture below if you would like to give me a tip so I can buy more treats for the kitties or a cuppa tea for me:)

In late March, I was contacted by Caroline to do Reiki1 with her precious senior Chihuahua, Mr. Chubbs. She was referred to me by Sue Pike, who is a wonderful animal communicator, healer and a kind, compassionate person - check her out!

Sue Pike's Website

Caroline had two other dogs when I first started working with him (she adopted a fourth dog a couple of months later), both senior dogs with health issues. I love that Caroline opens her heart to dogs who are harder to adopt.

The newest addition to the gang is a young dog named Piper, who had been through a lot of trauma before she landed with Caroline.

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Our First Session

Mr. Chubbs has IVDD2, which can cause him a great deal of discomfort and difficulty walking. I wanted to see if I could bring him some comfort.

In my first session with Mr. Chubbs, he was nestled on a cozy big cushion on the floor. I sat down near him, and he put his face right into my hands. This was surprising, especially as Caroline had said he was very sensitive about being touched on the face.

He moved a few times during the session so that my hands would be where he wanted them to be. I mostly did Reiki with him, but also did some very subtle lifts from Mary Debono’s modality Debono Moves3. He got so peaceful and completely settled into the work. Instead of being curled up, his body was stretched out and he looked twice as long as he did in the beginning of the session!

As We Continued…

In the next sessions, I began to see that at times he had trouble getting comfortable, so he might pace around before he settled down. Caroline said that at the end of the night, he would often pace for half an hour or so before settling.

As I continued the sessions, he got comfortable more quickly, doing less of the pacing. We also realized that he was likely to be more relaxed in the afternoon than the morning, so we decided to only do sessions in the afternoon.

Over time, Caroline said that Chubb’s pacing at night was getting less and less. Instead of a half hour, he paces just a little and then settles down. It also looks easier for him to get comfortable for our sessions. Before, I had heard a lot of little sounds, sort of like small groans, as he was trying to settle in and I rarely see that now.

I taught Caroline some basic TTouches4 that she could try with Mr. Chubbs. Mr. Chubbs is very sensitive, and doesn’t always want to be touched, so I demonstrated some of the TTouches with a stuffed dog. Here is Mr. Chubbs checking the stuffed dog out!

He doesn’t always want me touching him, but there are times when he is receptive and I have been about to touch him around his head and face, which had been something that he had been afraid of in the past. Ear TTouch can be helpful for any animal if they are open to it, and can be very soothing to a dog with IVDD. There are acupressure points in the ear that correspond to digestion, respiratory and other processes, so Ear TTouch can help bring comfort physically and emotionally. As Chubbs can be hesitant to be touched on his ears, that could be a bit of a process to work up to it. The button below links to a demo of Ear TTouch:

Demo of Ear TTouch

Reiki Goes Where It Is Needed

Something beautiful that has happened during the sessions is that Caroline’s other dogs have become more relaxed, and often come closer to where we are working, even though they normally keep their distance from Chubbs. Reiki energy will go where it is needed. I think Caroline often receives relaxation from the sessions as well.

Both Penny and Birdie often come closer, and are stretched completely out by the end of the session. Sometimes I do a bit of TTouch with them as well. Penny is blind, so one of the TTouches I recommended trying with her is hair slides. Below you will see me doing a demo.

For a more elaborate demo of TTouch Hair Slides click the button below:

TTouch Hair Slides Demo

Piper, who is an energetic young dog, is not always present for the sessions, but when she is, by the end of the session she is most often stretched out in a patch of sun or snuggled into some cozy bedding.

Working off the Body - Energy and Intention

Each session with Mr. Chubbs is a bit different, and I go with whatever is most comfortable with. In our most recent sessions, he has been more comfortable with my hands off rather than on, which is fine. Reiki and the other modalities I use can all be done either on or off the body, and it’s always best to adjust according to what the animal is comfortable with. Energy work knows no bounds, and can have an effect whether it is done hands on, hands off, or even at a far distance. I believe that intention is very powerful as well. When I share TTouch or Debono Moves off the body, I visualize that I am making contact with the animal’s body. Because I actually am - although it is energetically, rather than physically.

Another Communication with Sue Pike

Recently Caroline had another session with Sue Pike so she could connect with Chubbs again and see how he was doing.

I was so glad to get confirmation that the work I was doing with him was helping him. A few things that Mr. Chubbs said: “Sarah is a love. She has a big heart. All the animals know this.” He also said that when he receives energy from me, he feels safe, and he wants to make sure that others care for me, since I do so much for others. So sweet! And of course he adores his humans Caroline and her husband Paul. And one of the details he said to her was that she should drink more water. She also advised that Paul “should try stretching”. So interesting to hear all the character and humor and insight that I would imagine that he has, come through in his communication. So grateful for Sue!

Visualization - and More on Working Off the Body

Sometimes visualizations appear in the course of the session. In my June 19 session, I had a visualization of Chubbs running freely through the grass. Such a beautiful feeling to see him running with such abandon.

The above video was taken a while back, when Chubbs would often get the zoomies after their last walk of the day

At the end of the session, I tried stroking him off his body, really feeling the energy between my hand and his body, and it was clearly soothing him. His eyes started to relax, blinking, and his body really settled into it.

When I arrived for our session the following week, Caroline told me she had taken Chubbs to a vet who was a specialist in PRP, a type of platelet-spinning procedure used to treat arthritis. Caroline wanted to see if the injections could help to ease Chubbs’ pain. The vet said that Chubbs actually wasn’t a good candidate for that type of injection, as he had no discernible arthritis in his knees, hips or spine - that the major issue was in the cervical spine area. The vet said that despite Chubbs’ IVDD, which seems to be concentrated in his cervical spine, that Chubbs was in remarkably good orthopedic condition for a dog almost 14 years old:) The vet was glad to hear that he was receiving Reiki treatments, and he thought the Reiki must be helping him.

Again, in this session I was working with hands off, but felt a very strong connection with Chubbs. He had been in a deep sleep when I arrived, so I just sat down very quietly, and gradually moved closer to him as I worked. A few times he lifted up his head and I thought perhaps he would get up and move around, so I started stroking him again off his body, and he settled right back down, stretching out.

I shared both Reiki and Craniosacral Therapy5 with him in that session. At one point I had one hand over his shoulder area and one over his lower back and pelvis, and I had a visualization that my hands were moving apart from each other - a movement not really visible to the eye, but an energy I was feeling. I visualized that his spine was lengthening and getting straighter as I worked. It did seem like his back looked longer by the end. I have had this sensation a number of times. I am not consciously “doing” anything, but the sensation of this movement is a very tangible sensation.

He is teaching me so much in these sessions. I try to quiet my own mind so that I can really hear what he is telling me with his energy and body language.

Mr. Chubbs has such a delightful spirit, and I feel so very close to him. I designed a tshirt of him, and if you would like to get one, please click on one of the link below (it comes in two different color schemes, and all sizes). Below is a lovely photograph of Caroline and her assistant John holding Chubbs and wearing the shirt.

Navy Blue/Pink Mr. Chubbs Tee

Green/Yellow/Red Mr. Chubbs Tee

I look forward to my sessions with Mr. Chubbs every week, and will share more about him as we move along.

Let me know in the comments if you have senior animals, and if you’d like to share any stories about them. And of course you are welcome to share any thoughts about this story.

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This can be a strange day for so many of us in America. On a day when we are supposed to be celebrating our country’s 250th birthday, our leader continues to attempt to destroy all that our country is supposed to stand for.

We Can Be the Light

What no one can ever control is what we do inside our mind. My partner Jeffrey refers to a spark of optimism that can remain in our soul as his “candle of optimism”, which is a beautiful image. And imagine the power, the impact, that millions of candles could have.

We can be the light in the dark. We can be kind to each other. We can do something to brighten someone else’s day. There are things we can do to make the world a more positive one. Even if it seems that it’s on a small scale, those add up and gain momentum. We can let our light shine.

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Inside My Mind

Following is a recent song along this line that’s called “Inside My Mind.” Below the video are the words.

Inside My Mind

There's a place where I go
Inside my mind
Sparks on the fire glow
Beyond time

Ooh inside my mind

No one knows where I go
Inside my mind
No one can control
What I might find

Ooh inside my mind

Keep on the path I have to follow
That small spark lights the way
Keep on the path so far away from
The earthly worries of the day

All the pieces come together
Colors and patterns
Something just beyond my reach
Everything else melts away
Following the path to the sun’s horizon

There’s a place where I go 
Inside my mind
That I protect til my dying day
A place of clarity and peace
No one can ever take away

Inside my mind

For more of my songs and poetry, past and present, visit my YouTube channel (I have a separate one for the work I do with animals)

My Music YouTube

Deeper

I also wanted to share the following poem, which was written in 2025 as part of ’s poetry haul series, in which each week we were given a list of words which we could incorporate in a poem.

Deeper 

So many wishes 
Pennies thrown in the well
Each one splashes 
Thoughts clear as a bell

Taking flight 
Seeing the world below
Even in the darkest night
There’s a small light that I know

That keeps me alive even through the haze of lies
That bombards us daily 
And tries
To make a false picture

But this light burns through all that
Access to the deeper picture that exists behind the 
Fake flat scene of delusions presented to the people
We have to look deeper
To see the lurking evil

And beyond that to see the good that can be
If we can get beyond this era of so much cruelty

Creating a new prophesy

Idealist’s Dream

To close this 250 anniversary day post, I would like to include a more raucous take on the subject, which was written in the 1980s. Sadly, it rings even more true these days. The video is from an open mic performance done at ABC No Rio, where as usual, I was shouting over a boombox with no microphone, so the sound is rough but the feeling is there. Most of my backing tracks were created on a 4 track Fostex X 15 cassette recorder. I later made more sophisticated recordings with Roland Parkins, who helped arrange and produce the tracks.

I used to go to the No Rio open mic every single week, which challenged me to attempt to write new material and record new backing tracks almost every week.

Matthew Courtney ran the open mic, which he called the Wide Open Cabaret. You will see/hear him at the end of the video, as he was the MC. Poets, musicians, artists, creative people of all kinds showed up. I remember one woman who came regularly - she wouldn’t call herself a writer, but would just get up and tell us about her day - she was actually very funny and entertaining. One night, a man showed up out of the blue waving a knife, and somehow Matthew calmly escorted him out without a hitch. Matthew was an extraordinary creative person, one of a kind. Sadly, he passed away last year. But I will never forget these rowdy and creative nights. I met so many amazing folks and made some wonderful friends as well.

Here’s the video (which was shot by Mitch Corber), the words are below:

Idealist’s Dream

I want to burn this big greenback dollar
That’s flying high now as our flag
I want to shatter to nothingness this gold
That stands as king and makes people cut each other’s throats
Just to get it

I want to open the eyes of the babies
They try so hard to make blind and dumb
I want to rearrange this world 
That’s being ruled by pigs and scum

They’re teaching the youth that the value of life is nil
Say in order to make it you’ve got to kill
Stabbing backs to get their thrills 
Turning to monsters eating more than their fill
Consumerism consuming us, making us ill

When they see your thoughts disconnect from the wires
They try to cut them down
When they hear music radiating emotion
They try to stop the sound
I want to take the whole damned system and burn it to the ground

Cause they’re saying that things like conscience are old hat
That helping your brother is not where it’s at
A frightening stone cold breed comes of age
Brutally hurling others out of their way
Acting out what they’ve been taught
The world is commodities sold or bought
Take it all for yourself without a second thought
Cause feelings are useless 
And dreams are naught

I want to burn this big greenback dollar flag waving
And inject the world with new hope
I want to smash these idols of gold
And break oppression’s yoke
I want to lift up this dark silk screen 
And water all these seeds of dreams
I want to see the fall of Babylon
Cause the world as it is
Cannot go on.

Ok folks, stay safe and stay positive. Please let me know in the comments how you keep your own sanity in the midst of today’s madness. Love you all!

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It’s been a while since I’ve written about my visits to the Stuytown squirrels. In a past post at this link, I speak about my squirrel friend, Little Princess of the Trees, and her passing.

I miss her, and always think of her when I go to her tree. It makes me happy, though, to see her daughter Baby Socks doing well, and to be developing closer and closer connection with her.

There are a few gray squirrels that have a bit more white on the insides of the legs and stomach that are probably related to Princess as well.

Baby Socks is clearly a girl (when you see them from the front, male squirrels have pretty obvious “equipment”), but hasn’t had any babies as yet. But there are a couple of other squirrels in that area that are clearly nursing mothers, and some young squirrels around - they are smaller and have thinner tails.

The little ones are adorable, and shyer.

Above: two youngsters tentatively coming down the tree

If I toss a nut to them, I’m careful to toss it from the side, but so they can see it in front of them. If the nut comes straight towards them, they get scared - maybe they sense that an object is being thrown at them rather than to them, and they run away.

Socks coming forth from her place in the bushes, it takes her a minute as this was a day when lots of other squirrels and birds were around…

Baby Socks is a smaller, shyer squirrel, though she knows me and will come up very close to me now. Though different people have different names for her, she will respond to me when I call out “Socks!” to her. She seems to hang out mostly by herself, and she doesn’t like to get in the mix if there are a lot of other squirrels around and especially if birds are around.

My connection with her feels more and more precious. The last couple of times, I haven’t seen her when I get there, but then she seems to appear right in front of me as if from out of nowhere. She likely sees me from inside the bushes, where she likes to hang out, but it feels like I look away for a second and there she is! So sweet. Her favorite nuts are unshelled almonds, so I always save some to the side for her.

As an aside, to my squirrel-loving friends, I have found out that peanuts are not tree nuts and are not great for squirrels.1 Hazelnuts, almonds, walnuts, pecans are all good nuts to give them, and giving them in the shell is preferable, as it helps their teeth from getting too long. The nuts will also stay good if the squirrel decides to bury them.

I try to lure Socks off to the side, away from the birds and other squirrels, so she will be more comfortable. Sometimes she will go bury a bunch of almonds, one by one, and keep coming back to me. Or she may go scampering off into the bushes or up into the big tree where she was born, carrying a nut in her mouth. It makes me smile to see her eating a nut with her dexterous little white paws, and to see her leaping through the grass or climbing up so high into the tree. Clearly her mama taught her well about how to survive and how to protect herself, which is extra important for her, as she has special markings that make her stand out - the little white paws, white nose, the silvery tail.

She is extremely conscious, and plays little tricks at times. She may act like she is burying a nut, but then she actually takes the nut of to a different location to actually bury it. One day recently, I tossed her a walnut and it looked like she didn’t see it, as she went scurrying off, but she knew exactly where it was. I think she wanted to distract the other squirrels who were around, and in a little bit, she came right back to where the walnut was and scampered off with it.

I always feel like her mother, Little Princess, is watching over everyone.

Something humorous that has been happening recently is that a group of pigeons has been making the scene.

When they see me, several will alight on the fence right in front of me. “Sorry I don’t have any treats for you guys!” I might say, though I have been trying to remember to bring a little bird seed for them. I have little bags of nuts in all the various bags that I use but I haven’t quite added the bird seed into my routine.

If I do bring it, I lure the birds off to the side from where the squirrels live. It’s too scary for the squirrels to have lots of birds around. There are some absolutely beautiful pigeons who hang out in that area, and it has been interesting to feel their vibe, as they are looking straight at me and connecting with me.

In looking at them more closely, I’ve been seeing all the beautiful variations in their markings, including their patches of iridescence, and have been observing their behavior in more detail.

Yesterday got a little crazy. It wasn’t just the “regulars”, but a whole bunch of their pigeon friends suddenly arrived and began collecting around me and following me. “Sorry guys, I really don’t have treats for you today!”

And I adore the tiny little sparrows, who move so quickly and look at me quizzically. Occasionally a couple of beautiful cardinals will show up as well. Bluejays will occasionally come around, and steal nuts from the squirrels - one day one of them stole a big walnut!

It always feels so calming and invigorating to be amongst the birds and squirrels and trees and sky and clouds.

To feel a part of the sun and the breeze and the rustling leaves and lush grass and bright-colored flowers.

As I leave, I always look up at the sky and notice the colors and shapes of the clouds. Up ahead of me, I see a man walking with his little girl hand in hand and the sunlight frames them as they walk into the summer evening. In this world of insanity, I treasure these timeless moments when all is well and in balance.

1

When a squirrel eats too many peanuts, the extremely high phosphorus levels force the squirrel’s body to leach calcium from its own bones to balance its blood chemistry.

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Thanks for reading Notes From An Uncaged Warrior Parakeet! This post is public so feel free to share it. Please “like” and comment, I love to hear from you. Have a look at my website on my work with animals, my art site and my etsy shop. Message me if you are interested in any of the art you see in these posts.

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Last week, I was so pleased and honored to attend a belated 104th birthday gathering for my teacher and friend, Sensei Koho Yamamoto. I studied sumi-e painting with her for decades, and she will always be an inspiration to me. I was so happy to bring her a handmade card and necklace, and to have a chance to speak to her about how much she means to me, and how her teachings will always inspire me. She continues to be so vibrant and was right there in the moment with me. I was also delighted to see and interact with students recent and from long ago.

I first came upon Sensei Koho Yamamoto’s painting and teaching studio on my walks home from visits to the West Village.

The small studio on the corner of Houston and Macdougal Street always caught my eye. There were always her beautiful and energetic brush paintings up in the window, and an assortment of brushes and other sumi painting materials on the tables inside. I always seemed to pass by there in late afternoon or evening, when classes would have been over with. I was intrigued. I loved the informal look to it and the hand drawn signage on the front.

Sometime in the late 1990s, after cat sitting for my friend Darlene, she gave me a series of classes at Sensei’s studio, where Darlene had been studying. I was so excited to learn from Sensei and to see what the experience of these classes was like!

There were about eight students in the class, most of whom seemed to be regulars. She had calm traditional Japanese music playing, and served everyone tea and little cookies. The vibe was low key and friendly, kind and with a sense of humor. I felt at home immediately. I was able to buy the specific brushes and paper she recommended from her.

Sensei Koho introduced me to new ways to use the brush. We were using all parts of the brush, depending on what we were painting, and there were specific ways of getting just the right mixture of ink and water on the brush, depending on what you were painting.

First, we learned how to paint bamboo, and once we mastered that, then came flowers and other subjects. Once she realized that I especially loved painting animals, she let me continue with that. I appreciated that, as some teachers insist that you continue to paint only bamboo for a very long time.

A couple of times she put her hand over my hand on the brush and did the brush strokes. Her hand was so definite, and confident. Feeling this helped me understand the type of touch she had in order to get what she wanted to happen on the paper. The paper used in the class was very thin Japanese paper, and the brushes came in different thicknesses depending on what we were painting. But even the bigger brush that I was using could be used to paint some detail, if I used the very tip.

With the thin paper and sumi ink, there isn’t a lot of possibility for correction, which forces one to just go for it with the brush and not worry if you have to toss a bunch of paintings. I love that attitude, and it presents a challenge as well.

I began to really look forward to the classes, even though I was new to the technique and a bit nervous and insecure. But that nervousness is normal for me. Once I get to painting, I get pulled into the moment, the nervousness subsides and I become one with the brush.

Sensei is delightful, and has a wonderful sense of humor - including humor about herself. In addition to learning about painting from her, little by little I began to hear stories about her life, past and present. She also was an animal lover, and over the years I often painted her cats, first Bianca and later on, Taikon.

At the same time I was learning sumi painting, I was also learning Japanese waterbase woodblock printing. I learned how to mix pigments, use the traditional printmaking equipment and the really sharp and amazing carving tools. But I didn’t want to make the tight images that one often sees in woodblock printing, with all the lines connected. Some of the initial drawings from which the prints were made were done in sumi ink, which is how it was done traditionally, but the paintings were loose rather than careful and tight. I wanted to achieve the feeling and look of loose of lines or brushstrokes in the prints. Following are two selections from my woodblock prints. - one in simple black and white and one in color, using many woodblocks to achieve the coloration:

I was so honored when Sensei came to an opening of a solo show I had at Woodward Gallery in 2004: “Sarah Hauser’s Geneticircus”. It really made me smile to see her there. When she walked in, dressed up beautifully, she had this aura of magic around her that was always with her. My exhibition was comprised of drawings, prints and sculpture of hybrid animals (some earlier posts with some works from this series are here and here). Drawings, woodblock rubbings and solarplate etchings1 were on the wall. Sculptures were on the wall, hanging from the ceiling, and free-standing. Here are four selections from the show:

I was a regular student of hers for many years. I started to find that even when I wasn’t working with sumi ink, I was handling the paintbrush differently, exploring how to vary the quality of the line, thick or thin, light or dark, etc.

Also, as I started pursuing TTouch2 and Reiki3 and my work with animals in the real world, I began to paint some of the shelter cats I was working with, in addition to animals I knew or had met on the street.

When getting my sumi-e paintings ready for exhibition, Sensei taught us how to put backing paper on the images so that they would be sturdy, and so all the nuances in the paint would stand out more. Essentially you are gluing an additional sheet of paper to the back of the painting.

It was a tricky process, especially with larger paintings and/or more delicate paper, as it could get wrinkled if you didn’t do each part of the process correctly. If you messed it up, the whole painting could possibly be ruined.

So occasionally, I had her do backing for paintings I had on really thin paper. She was so masterful at it and made it look easy. But over some time, I gained more confidence with it and created a setup so I could do it at home.

I always will be inspired by Sensei Koho’s work and by her whole approach to art and to life. Her spirit is indomitable and exuberant, and continues to be that way even at age 104. I think that her incredibly positive attitude, as well as her engagement with the creative process, keep her thriving. She has a fiercely independent spirit and kept painting and teaching, even when times were tough emotionally and financially.

I loved watching her paint. Her work was often very big, and her brushstrokes were bold and fearless. It is all about being in the moment, just going for it, following her intuition.

To give a little background on her, her mother passed away when she was only four. Her father, a poet and calligrapher, came to America with her and her siblings. She learned sumi-e painting when she and family were in the concentration camps during World War II. She loved the painting classes, which were taught by Chiura Obata (1885-1975), a renowned Japanese painter. Obata saw her talent, and in the tradition of Sumi-e masters, gave her and a few of the other most talented students a version of his name. Obata’s name means “thousand harbors,” and “Koho” means “red harbor.” From her accounts, he was a great teacher and an inspiration. She said he was “strong” and “full of life”. What she has said about being in the camps was that, while the living conditions were rough, she was young and wasn’t so much focused on the difficulties, because they had so much time to paint.

When I heard about this, I became aware of an interesting connection. My mother, a lifelong artist, studied with Chiura Obata. Her classes with him were after the war, at the University of California in Berkeley. She also loved his classes and found him to be an inspiration. She had two of his beautiful classic paintings of horses, which were up in my parents’ home since I can remember. Here is one of them (apologies for the glare). The energy, spirit, and sense of movement that comes through in the paintings is just incredible.

Following are a few other images of Obata’s work. He was particularly inspired by nature and landscapes. The first painting below was done at Topaz Relocation Center (one of the WWII concentration camps where Japanese-Americans were held), where Sensei studied with him. That brings up so many feelings to even start to think about the reality of that. And it says so much that something as positive as painting and painting classes could happen even within this horrendous situation. Below that painting is “Setting Sun Over Sacramento”, inspired by the beautiful skies he saw when working in the hop fields in Sacramento, and “Upper Lyell Creek”, from his Yosemite series.

Some years ago, my mom and I went to a show of his work and it was such a treat to see so much of it in real life, rather than in books. Some of the works we saw were woodcuts and others were paintings.

So interesting to feel these connections… I remember hearing my mom speak of Professor Obata many years before I began classes with Sensei.

These days, I still and always will feel artistic inspiration from both my mother and from Sensei. The artwork and approach to life of both these women will be with me always. I currently am experimenting with some self-portraits, in which I am using a combination of inks, watercolors, acrylics, pencils and more and I feel influences from both of them. It is a huge challenge, and I will share some of these explorations with you soon. I also have really been feeling the influence of both these women in the life drawing sessions I recently began going to. You can see more about that in this post.

I hope to be able to celebrate year 105 with Sensei next year. In the meantime, please follow her instagram here, and facebook here, and at this link you will see a wide selection of her work.

Thank you for everything, Sensei! Hope to be able to visit you again soon. xo

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Birds and the idea of flying flow into my dreams sometimes. I have had phases throughout my life in which I will have dreams, sometimes several in a row, in which I can just flap my arms and fly up so high. It’s a beautiful feeling.

In the dream, it isn’t scary, it’s freeing. A free feeling I always long for more of. Going up so high above the trees and up above the clouds.

This feeling of flying and birds or other flying creatures flow into my art as well.

There is some connection with my mother with the bird images too. She had a variety of bird imagery in her house, including one of my woodblock prints of a baby piping plover, which she had in her bedroom. This isn’t a great picture of it due to the glare, but you get the idea.

There was also a beautiful Mexican tin bird in her studio, surrounded by postcards of work by artists who inspired her. There was something birdlike in my mom’s physical delicacy and an ephemeral quality she could have at times, that she wasn’t completely of the earth.

And there is a lovely bird teacup I gave to her years ago, which I have had since she passed. It reminded me so much of her when I saw it in a store.

I have a small sculpted woman leaping through the air that my mother gave me decades ago. Though a little worse for wear now, the spirit of it still feels how I feel flying in the air.

A couple of years back, a magical bird appeared in a dream. The front part of the bird was like a large sparrow, but the bird had a fan-like tail of feathers that were similar to a peacock, but in primary colors rather than the iridescent colors of a peacock. The next day, I had to draw a few pictures of the bird so that it wouldn’t disappear from my mind.

The bird seemed like it might have a few friends as well.

This is a version of the Gypsy bird in Strappo Monotype, and next to it a small sculpture. I describe more about strappo here.

Here is the completed diorama with the sculpture inside:

And jewelry…

The image comes back to me sometimes, and makes me smile. A magical feeling to brighten my day.

My most recent bird dream was last night. I was visiting a friend who had a big house and animals were running all over the place. I think she had just moved in. This was not a person I know in my waking life, but in the dream she was someone I knew. The house seemed to be out in the country, but in the dream it was in Manhattan (I was going to say “the city”, like some New Yorkers say:)).

I knew I had to leave soon, I think she did too. But all of a sudden I saw the most lovely bird land on a window ledge. She was about the size of a starling, but was a soft brown color. She had very thin, delicate wings, much thinner than a starling, and there were a couple of spots of white on her as well. But her right leg was messed up. I really wanted to help her. I told my friend I wanted to take her to the Wild Bird Fund, a real place on the Upper West Side where they care for and rehabilitate birds and other small wildlife like squirrels. I was wondering if there was a box around that we could put the bird in to transport her.

I woke up before I had the chance to help her, and I felt sad I wasn’t able to help her while I was in the dream. I told my partner Jeffrey about the dream. He googled my description of the bird and here is what Google came up with. She is a starling from Missouri. Here she is:

This is definitely in the ball park as far as the color, size, shape. But starlings generally are quite feisty and the bird in the dream was soft and sweet and gentle.

I first drew the bird as I saw her in my dream.

Then I visualized her healed and strong, and flying freely through the air.

Last, I will share with you a song. Lyrics are below the video.

Birds Flying

I walk through the city
But I’m feeling the sky
Above all the buildings
I want to fly

Through the leaves and the trees
To the waves and the sea
Feel the sand on my feet
And the salt air breeze

Birds flying over my head
Birds flying over my head

Above all the concrete
So far up in the sky
Where the birds fly so freely
I want to fly

Birds flying over my head
Birds flying over my head.

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I have lived in New York City for many decades now. All these years have sped by somehow without me realizing it, and suddenly I’m… pretty old!

I first moved to New York, along with about eight women from U.C. Santa Cruz, to follow our amazing modern dance teacher, Marcia Wardell, who had taught at U.C. Santa Cruz but was returning to NYC to continue dancing with Murray Louis. We all signed up to study at the Louis/Nikolais Dance Theater Lab, which I talk about further in this earlier post.

My plan was to stay in New York for a year and see what happens… and here I am, forty-plus years later.

When I first started walking the streets of New York, I wondered why everyone was looking down? Why is everyone walking so fast? Why don’t people look at each other? It’s so crowded here. People pushing onto the subways like fitting into a sardine can. Nobody wants to bother to wait for the next, possibly uncrowded train.

Not to mention the shorthand terminology here. I had never heard of a “regular” coffee and thought that meant coffee with nothing in it, which was what I wanted. No, I had to ask for coffee-black. And I had to hurry up about it because other people were waiting behind me in line (or, as you say in New York, “on line”) :)

I loved the vibrant energy of the city but as a shy person, it took a while for me to be able to speak up when I needed to.

And the subways: it was really hard to get accurate directions, and so easy to miss the stop I was supposed to go to. I remember getting off in some dicey neighborhoods and trying to sort out how to get where I was headed to.

At any rate, over time, almost without realizing it, I started to create this bubble of safety around myself. A bubble of light. Inside that bubble I am in my own space. I feel safe, I know where I am going, and generally feel pretty good, unless the streets get too crowded. I even will sing to myself when a melody comes into my head. No one appears to notice or care, ha ha!

It also helps me to notice any trees or birds, hearing the sounds that the birds make. Look up at the sky, and notice the color of the sky, colors and shapes of the clouds, remind myself that there is still a part of nature available even in the city. And of course, my frequent adventures to feed the squirrels are the best.

But on a day when I am extremely tired and stressed, that bubble of protection is torn through, and I start to notice more of the really tough sights that are around me. And feel the struggles and difficulties surrounding me.

The East Village, the neighborhood where I live, is full of those, particularly on certain streets. 14th Street (around First Avenue and east of that) in recent years is populated with people very much on the edge, in bad shape, and sad, angry, desperate. I feel really sad for them but also feel threatened by their presence, explosions just about to go off.

At the opposite end of the economic and class spectrum is a plethora of wealthy, white, blond, college-age kids who generally look mainstream and very much alike, particularly in comparison with the wild and diverse variety of ages, styles and vibes that populated this neighborhood years ago. I start to recall a Twilight Zone episode called “Number 12 Looks Just Like You”1. I can’t relate at all.

In these moments, I feel very alone and have entered a futuristic dystopian novel. I love New York, and it has always had these extremes, but it feels like since the pandemic, the extremes are further away from each other. The desperate ones are having more difficulty and are even more desperate.

OK, breathe… if I have to, I will turn onto a less populated street to catch my breath and start to feel a bit more like myself again. Ah, this block has beautiful trees all along the block. Not that I am ever unaware of these realities that surround me, but I need to retain my own balance, strength and sanity.

I return to the feeling that I am filled with light and carrying that light with me wherever I go. Knowing that I can be the light even in the darkest of places.

Following is a song that expresses more about this feeling. The lyrics are below the video.

There is a Special Place

There is a special place
Where I always want to be
A place where I can breathe
And just be

I see an open space
And sand on my feet
Hear the waves and
Feel the breeze

The smell of the salt air
The warmth of the sun

Scenes pass through me
Waves on the shore
Touching the magic
There’ll always be more

There is a special place
Where I always want to be
The dreams in the day and nighttime
Are filled with such beauty

The spaces of open time
The spaces inside my mind

Are blooming even in winter
Flowers in my heart
Even in the dark

The light can always be found
No matter where you are
The shadows can fade away
The sun can reappear

The light inside my heart
Will always conquer fear
The gardens in my spirit
Will bloom even in winter
I hold them in my heart
Even in the dark

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It’s been decades since I took a life drawing class. Back in the ‘90s and early ‘00s, in the earlier part of my visual art journey, I took some wonderful classes at Art Students League and at Minerva Durham’s Spring Studio. As I became more involved in the printmaking, drawing and sculpture series I was pursuing, I gradually stopped going to the classes.

But recently, I started to get a feeling that I wanted to do it again. Drawing the human figure is such a great challenge, and I especially love to do the quick poses - capturing the energy of what I am seeing in a very short time span.

Coincidentally, the wonderful artist and teacher Melanie Reim (see her site https://www.melaniereimart.com/ and instagram @melreim), who recently joined the New York Artists Circle1, posted on the listserve about a series of non-instructed drawing sessions which she was hosting in her studio. The vibe sounded fun, with many of the sessions having specific themes to them. Not only that, but the poses were all quick - 5 minutes and under.

I was nervous about doing this, as I knew I was rusty, but it seemed that this was the right place for me to go. I got some new drawing paper and put together a variety of pencils, a few conte crayons, and color sticks (like thick colored pencils) to take to the first class.

Melanie is a delightful and welcoming person, and I loved seeing some of her work on the walls of the studio as I entered. Above is one of her collages, which is even more beautiful in person.

The room was pretty full. Some people were sitting at tables, some at desks and some on the floor. There was clearly a wide range in age and level of experience. I love that. The model was a lovely and dramatic-looking young Asian woman named Bri (Instagram @chinny.cherry).

Inside my mind I said “Yikes, I guess I’m gonna do this!”

The poses were timed at intervals of 2 minutes up to 5 minutes, done in series adding up to about 20 minutes. For example, we started with 10 2-minute poses. I could feel my heart pounding fast right before I started. But once that timer started, I felt myself right in the center of the moment, as though my hand and pencil were following the energy of the lines and shapes the model was creating. I didn’t have time to worry about whether what I was doing was “good”, I was just striving to be there in that moment and capture what I was seeing. No time for erasing and correcting. You just go!

Melanie has music playing while we draw, which was enjoyable and helped me to feel more at ease.

Before I knew it, we were taking a 15 minute break in the middle of the class, and the second half of the class went even faster. Bri added a few accessories - a headband with flowers, a scarf, flowers wrapping around her ankles. I especially loved drawing the energy of the scarf flowing around her.

After the class, a young man in the class said he felt like he had just worked out at the gym, and I felt the same way. The energy and concentration and focus is intense! I threw most of my drawings from that first class away, but had to admit the drawings had come out better than I expected. I felt inspired and I wanted to do it again.

Of course, I was thinking of my mother so much in this class and in the subsequent sessions I have gone to. Even more so because this month, May, includes both Mother’s Day and my mom’s birthday . Her figure drawings are just amazing and are in every room of our apartment. Her sensitivity, sense of line, color, movement, emotion. Perfection.

Above and below are a couple of my mother’s beautiful drawings which inhabit our apartment, and which inspire me every day. I know that the drawing below was one of my mom’s favorites, in addition to being one of mine. I love the simplicity and flow and delicacy of the one above as well. Please see my two posts here and here to see more of my mother’s work and more about her and our relationship:)

The second class was “Disco Saturday”. I wore my shiny silver sneakers and a sparkly necklace to get in the proper mood. This time I brought some walnut ink and aquarelle crayons and pencils,2 so that I could work with some of the drawings with an ink wash and draw right into the wash. I was still nervous in the beginning but I was excited as well.

This time the model was Sarah Misch (@smischievous on Instagram). A lovely woman, she is an actress, dancer, and Pilates teacher. She does very energetic poses that often feel like they are in motion even though she is standing still.

The poses for the first half of the class were nude. For the second half of the class, she put on heart shaped shades, colorful bell bottom pants, a sparkly mesh top and sparkly gloves. Disco music was playing throughout, and there was some singing by the artists in the class too!

I was feeling much more comfortable than in the previous class, and I particularly enjoyed drawing the clothed poses. The highly-flared bell bottoms made interesting, dramatic shapes in addition to the shapes her body was making. I was also enjoying playing with the ink wash and how the aquarelle pencils and crayons were blending into the wash.

I ended up keeping more drawings this time - that seemed to be a good sign, ha ha!

I couldn’t wait to take the next class.

A couple of weeks later, the session had a beach theme. I wore one of my tshirt designs (pictured below, and available on my etsy here) with a cat in an inner tube in the water, with a little drink with an umbrella, and of course some of my shades (also on my etsy) embellished with cats and sparkles.

I brought watercolors in addition to the walnut ink, brushes, and aquarelle pencils and crayons which I had brought last time. I was excited to start to add some dashes of color.

This time, I still started out feeling nervous, but became more confident as I began making the quick brush strokes and bold lines that would come together in a drawing in under five minutes.

And I felt the drawings taking on another dimension as I began to add a bit of color to them.

We had beach and summer-themed songs playing throughout the session.

During a break, Sarah was reclining with a robe on, which I thought looked interesting, and I quickly sketched the following:

After the long break, Sarah did the remainder of the poses in beach attire and added some beach-themed props into the picture: a beach ball, an umbrella, wild shades, a beach hat (which made interesting different shapes at every angle).

She always exudes a sense of fun in her work, and I started getting a feeling of the beach as I continued drawing. The salty air, a warm breeze, bright sun and bold shadows.

I put the drawings aside til a few hours later, and this time around, only tossed out a few of the many drawings I did that day.

Melanie is doing one last session before a break for the summer, on June 1st. There isn’t a theme for that day, but there is a new model.

I look forward to new challenges each time I try this. Message Melanie (@melreim on Instagram) if you are interested in coming to the June 1st session, and follow the link on her website (click here) to join her mailing list to find out about future sessions, workshops and other activities, etc. Now I feel like I need to go to the beach soon!

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I first met Barbara Ellmann in the late 90s when we were both taking a class taught by Jackie Battenfield at Lower East Side Printshop. I had been taking printmaking classes and using the printing presses there, and had heard a lot of good things about Jackie’s classes. Jackie taught us practical strategies for starting to get your work out in the world. My favorite part of the class was doing studio visits with the other class members, and it was really interesting having them come to look at my work as well. All of this activity was really new to me. The people in the class worked in a wide variety of styles and media. It was a great experience to go with an open mind to each person’s studio and see what they were doing and hear about their approach.

Barbara’s work was striking - she works in a square format, using encaustic (beeswax mixed with beautiful saturated pigments which is heated up and painted on the surface). Bold colors, patterns, composition. Loved it. And really enjoyed speaking with Barbara. I found her to be very open and supportive. I was creating a lot of work, but really just getting started as far as getting my work out into the world.

Barbara told me about an artist’s group that she had going - called the New York Artists Circle. It had started out as a few friends having breakfast and over the years it expanded into a group with hundreds of members. The meetings started out at Tribakery and over the years the location has changed a number of times. One of the meeting places was the Department of Cultural Affairs, an organization which was very supportive of the group post 9/11, and just the fact of meeting there brought many new members to the group.

I started going to the meetings fairly early on in this journey, and they were really exciting. There was such a variety of ages and personalities, styles and media of work, level of experience, etc. The atmosphere felt so supportive and like a real community. I have made some wonderful friends there over the years. The group shares opportunities for showing, interesting exhibitions that are up, including those of members, information about where to get various art materials and how to work with them, other art-related questions such as where to get work framed, and so much more. Over time, some of the members started to curate members’ shows in a variety of venues. Such a generous group, comprised of so many distinctive and unique personalities. Not to mention an overall great sense of humor which defined a lot of the communication within the group. The tone of all of it was really set by Barbara, who is an extremely open and generous person.

The group meets monthly, and there are a couple of times a year that current members can bring in new members if they wish. You can find out more information about the organization and about joining here. Once you are a member, there is also a listserve for online discussion, as well as a New York Artists Circle website that you can participate in.

The group has been in existence for 30 years now. I still don’t know how all those years went by so fast!

My work schedule keeps me from attending many of the meetings these days, but I keep in touch with people through the listserve and attend when I can. Barbara stepped down from her position in leading the group about ten years ago. I know that I speak for so many people when I say I am so grateful for her creating this group and making it such a positive experience in the midst of a world that can be extremely competitive and can easily make you feel you are really on your own out there.

Barbara also has a long history of teaching, and currently works with The Whitney Museum, MOMA, and Lincoln Center Education. Two years ago she took a group of us from New York Artists Circle through selected sections of the Whitney Biennial. She guided us through a series of questions about the work that led us to truly observe the work without judgment. It was really a different way to experience the work. It helped me to see and appreciate aspects of the work that I might not have noticed otherwise. So grateful for that experience.

To get back to Barbara’s work, which I love! She is prolific, and has done a number of public art projects in addition to the series she always has going in her studio.

She also recently did a residency in Iceland, resulting in an exhibition there. She is hoping to bring that show to New York. Some of the work from that residency is pictured below.

She is still largely working with encaustic, though she has always worked with drawing and printmaking media as well. She is still working with a square format, creating slightly larger squares now, and has some different stages that she takes the work through.

As she puts the squares on the walls, she will experiment and play around as to the order and placement of them. The works gain power in numbers in a grid format.

I just opened her website, and came upon some exquisite works I hadn’t seen before, from her Game Board series. Again she works with a square format. These drawings are made with pencil, marker, silver, and beeswax on kitakata paper (a thin Japanese paper). I love the different textures, and the thin paper gives it a luminescence. Here is another work from that series:

Currently, the first part of her process is drawing in a lovely book of handmade Indian Khadi paper. The drawings are done with acrylic gouache1, and she figures out the basic color scheme of what will come next. Each is beautiful and one of a kind.

She describes her work as being about memory and place - using “degrees of abstraction to suggest fleeting impressions from observation and memory”. Symbols, designs, colors, patterns. Often gathering inspiration from the natural world as well.

Here are a few snaps of these initial drawings from her current book:

Next are the square encaustic paintings, which are done on 24” x 24” wood panels. The wax is melted on a sheet of metal, which is heated up and becomes her palette.

Look at these delicious colors! I get inspired just looking at them.

She said she has just about the whole palette from the company R & F, the company that makes the encaustics.

Love the colors and textures of the piece below (which you will also see in the earlier wall shot of the works done during her residency in Iceland).

You can see how the following painting relates to the earlier drawing I posted.

The next part of Barbara’s process is that after working with the encaustic paints, she will take a long strip (21” x 7”) of thin Japanese kitakata paper, place it over the metal palette, apply pressure, transferring the remaining encaustic colors to the paper. Later on she will sew into the image, which adds color, texture, lines to the image. You will see more of these work in the “ABSTRACT SEWN DRAWINGS” section of her website. Following are two studio shots of some of these works. They are even more luminous in person - (the iPhone camera has its limits!). The combination of the brightly colored wax on the very thin paper is so beautiful, and I love them hanging next to each other.

A last part of her process involves large-scale digital printing. She enlarges a section of one of the sewn drawings and has a 20” x 20” digital print made. You will see these in the “DIGITAL PRINTS” section of her site, and they are called MACROS. Below is one of the works from the ABSTRACT SEWN DRAWINGS series, followed by a MACRO which enlarges a section of that image.

I love Barbara’s spirit of curiosity, exploration, improvisation and the idea of zooming in or out on an image. And the combinations of colors and textures and patterns make me want to continue looking at the images, both up close and far away. I can see how all this relates to memory as well: the way we can zoom in on a detail of a memory, or maybe we just catch a wisp of it that is swirled in with other thoughts from the present day. Or at times we can zoom out and see the types of images and patterns which have continued to follow us through our life.

Barbara and I had a long talk on the day I visited her in her studio, and some of it had to do with the feeling of getting older. How in getting older, we get perspective on what is really important. Also, the feeling that so much time has seemed to pass by so quickly.

I welcome you to please have a look at all of Barbara’s work on her website and on her Instagram. And I thank Barbara for all of her generosity and kindness through all the years, and of for her beautiful and inspiring work.

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My mom hated having her picture taken, and often would say, jokingly but seriously, “I don’t take no picture” if you tried to snap a photo of her (a quote from someone we knew, who also didn’t like having her picture taken!). But I am grateful that I have a few favorite photos of her up in different places in the apartment, so I can feel like I am visiting with her.

One of my favorites is a photo of her sitting out in the sun, drawing. She looks completely involved in it, and so happy. Making art was such an integral part of her soul and being, and it was one of the beautiful places in which we connected with each other.

Another photo I have of her is in my studio. It is a view from the side, and she is standing at an easel, bent up close with a paintbrush, total concentration.

Yet another favorite is another profile view in which she is at an art opening or open studio. She is speaking with someone and expressing herself not only with her voice but with her graceful hands. She has her signature big shades on, and is wearing a turtleneck and Irish sweater. Her blonde hair is neatly done just so, always the picture of elegance even if she was wearing jeans or sweatpants.

Even though I know I carry her with me always in my heart, I miss her being on the earth so very much. But I feel grateful, too, for her being my mother and my friend.

I have so many memories of her over so many years it is hard to know where to begin. I remember when I was just starting to go to school, it was scary for me because I was (and still am) quite shy.

She would put sweet little notes in my lunchbox to make me smile and help me feel she was there with me.

Though my mom could be very private about certain things, she was a very social person. So, at times, I could tell it was hard for her to fully understand what my shyness felt like. But she was always empathic and would truly listen to me when I needed to talk to her.

When I was in my early 20s, I left my home in San Francisco to come to New York. I thought I would stay for a year and see how it went… decades later, here I still am! But I would travel to see my family regularly, and treasured those visits.

From that day forward, we would not only keep in touch by phone, but would send each other art postcards, and sometimes silly postcards. I have several boxes chock full of them. She and my Dad traveled to different locations related to business meetings or events, and they would always go to see art on these travels.

They also went to Europe several times over the years, seeing so much art. So I have postcards from all over, with such beautiful art and heartfelt notes from her.

In turn, I would send my mom cards from any shows that I went to, or later on, exhibitions that I was participating in. Or goofy or corny cards just to give her a laugh. We also would send each other hand made cards for birthdays and holidays - another collection. A bunch of the hand made cards are framed and on my walls, which are covered floor to ceiling with art. Here are some beautiful (and some whimsical) ones from Mom.

Seeing her work and her distinctive angular handwriting inside the cards always gives me comfort, and fills me with so much love and gratitude.

Some of my fondest memories are of going to museums and art galleries with my mom. She would always notice interesting aspects of the work, and point out details that I might not have noticed on my own. Maybe it was a juxtaposition of colors, or the way that a very few brush strokes would evoke a particular image or mood. I would usually get inspired to try something new in my own work as well.

Better still, I loved doing art projects with her. One day, together we repaired a sculpted cow that had fallen off the wall and had broken in a couple of places. A leg had come off, as well as one of the ears. I sculpted a big gold rose to cover the seam where we glued the ear back. We glued the leg back on and she mixed paint to the perfect matching color so we could paint where the break had occurred. It looked seamless and beautiful when we were done. We had plenty of laughs in the process too.

We often shared information about paper and drawing materials and paints. And it was a joy to see some of the materials I sent her showing up in her beautiful drawings, and sometimes the materials would give her new ideas of ways of working.

I love her artwork - it was and always will be so inspiring to me.

When she was raising us kids, she took a break from making art, but her creativity came through in everything she did, no matter what it was.

We encouraged her to go back to making art, which she did, and it made me so happy to see her drawing and painting, taking classes, making new friends. In time, a few of her friends would hire a model and they would meet at my mom’s studio to draw.

Each time I visited, I was excited to see the work she had done. She had so much feeling and expression even in the most minimal of drawings. Her sense of color was always just right. Sometimes we would be going through her drawings and I would keep her from tossing some that she didn’t think were good but I thought were beautiful.

After my dad passed, she and I both did a number of works inspired by objects or articles of clothing that were his, including some things that he made. I have mentioned in a past post my dad’s signature dog which he captured in a number of media. The dog always drawn in profile, with jagged teeth and the tail sticking out the back. Sometimes the dog had a cartoon bubble with words he was saying. He created the dog on cards, in wood sculptures and leather items such as book covers.

The dog appears in some of the works my mom did in his memory, along with the sheet music to My Funny Valentine, their special song.

My dad’s glasses were such a part of him that those appeared in many of the images that both my mom and I created. He also would make lists of all kinds on index cards, which he kept in the pocket of his jacket. Some of these cards were lists of songs which he played on the piano. So images from those index cards were often included. I included various articles of clothing, shoes (one of his collections), toys (another collection), and other items. Following are three works that my mom made, followed by four that I made:

It was interesting to go through her sketchbooks after she passed. I loved finding some beautiful tiny sketches, and some scraps of paper where she was just playing around with different colors and mixtures of colors. Some of the teeniest sketches I have are some of my favorites. The beautiful portrait below is tiny (only about 2.5 inches) and I love it!

I also love this little seagull standing on someone’s hand. She did it on an irregular scrap of paper and I have it framed and on our wall:

I love this note she sent me, on which she noticed that a scrap of paper she had with a blob of watercolor (“w.c”) paint on it looked like a dog, who is sitting in a way I did as a child, with my knees turned in. This has been up in our house ever since she sent it to me. And of course she tells me what kind of paper it’s on in case I wanted to try it.

One of her nicknames was Floss (or Flossy), which I called her sometimes.

Because of how my mother could most often be so completely in the moment, and because of how she shared things that she noticed, she helped open my mind to seeing colors and shapes anywhere and imagining what they might remind me of. Seeing shadows and light and color everywhere. Such an inspiration. I am so grateful.

And related to her openness of mind was her acceptance of a wide variety of people. Her friends came from all types of backgrounds and from all kinds of experiences. She made people feel welcome and loved, and didn’t judge them. She would push herself beyond all her limits to help people.

She also had a great love for animals. My sister had a cat named Zoe who was extremely shy. I showed my mother how she might try to pet the cat with a back scratcher (something I learned from TTouch1), and my mom would do it every time she went to my sister’s house. After dinner she would sit near the cat, petting her with the back scratcher. Eventually the cat jumped up on an ottoman next to the chair to be closer to her and receive pets directly. She formed a wonderful bond with the cat, who ended up becoming such a friendly, affectionate cat with all of us.

The other morning when I woke up, I was thinking about my mom, and wondering what would it feel like when I pass away. Nobody can know what happens, but what came to my mind was an image of us walking together down a road. A beautiful day. Trees on either side of us, and a comfortable breeze. Just walking quietly together. Those quiet moments that can be the closest moments.

I wish so much that we could be together and draw and paint and talk and drink tea or in the evening she could have her Campari, and we could eat a great dinner and laugh. I actually do talk to her all the time, it’s just different.

I am grateful to have so many beautiful memories. And to have had such a lovely mom. I will continue to share about her from time to time, as she is always on my mind and in my heart, and there are many more memories to share.

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Earlier this year, a rescuer brought a beautiful family of six tuxedo kitties, all with names starting with “C”, to Bideawee. A couple of them were adopted before I had a chance to work with them, and the most social of the remaining four, a kitten named Cordelia, was adopted soon after. This is the story of my connection with the remaining three: Canyon, a mama kitty, Caprice, Canyon’s sister, and Connie, one of Canyon’s kids. Canyon was the most shy of them, but Caprice was also hiding in the beginning. Connie was a young kitten, and was more adventurous and playful, but she wasn’t exactly sure about being touched.

First I would just sit down in the room, sharing Reiki1 with them. Then, as they seemed more relaxed, I would see if Caprice and Canyon were receptive to me coming closer for treats and TTouch2.

Below is an early session with Caprice. You can see her pupils are huge, but she is very gentle, and open to taking the treat from me and letting me gently touch her.

And here is Canyon from that same session. You can see she comes just a little forward for the treats.

They were scared, but still coming forward, and starting to trust me a little. I tried it again with Caprice, and you will see her squeezing out from under her hidey place to eat some of her food!

This made me so happy to see her being so brave!

This session was before Connie and Cordelia (Canyon’s kittens) were added into the room.

They added a whole new dynamic, and Caprice began to be more out and about and would snuggle with one of the kittens. When this was going on, I would walk in very slowly and stand near where they were snuggling, sharing Reiki, and they would relax into it. So beautiful to see.

Canyon preferred to stay hidden, so I would sit near her and see what could happen. Sometimes I could touch her while she was taking the treats, and other times I could connect with her with a paintbrush or the wand from a wand toy (as below).

By this point, Cordelia had been adopted, and sometimes little Connie would try and play with the wand while I was connecting with Canyon, so I would end up with two wands, one in my left hand to play with Connie, one in my right hand to touch Canyon:) Canyon was very gentle, and wouldn’t bite or scratch, but I didn’t want to force the contact, so it seemed that using a tool such as the wand helped her to feel safe. I never want to feel that I am forcing contact, working very slowly and gradually so that the cat will be able to feel that they have choice. In that way you can build a bond built on trust.

Little by little they all started to make really great progress. Canyon was starting to let me touch her more, and Caprice started leaning into my hand for touch. Since Connie would snuggle with Caprice, sometimes I was able to do TTouch with both of them when they were in their snuggly position. Amazingly sweet. I would start out with Reiki near them and then see what could happen next.

In the video below, I am doing slow TTouch with Caprice. Connie is a little too frisky to receive touch at that point but you can see she is perfectly fine with me nearby, and you can hear as I say in the video, she had come up to my face, sniffing my face, right up to my nose! It was great progress for Caprice to be comfortable with me doing TTouches going down her back. You will note that I often use the back of my hand, which is a more gentle feeling for a shy or sensitive cat.

Caprice also seemed to crave having my hand resting on her body while sharing Reiki - which is rather rare, as I usually share Reiki off the body, especially with shy animals. But the minute I touched her, I felt like my hand was a magnet being pulled to her body, so I stayed there and she relaxed right into it. I could feel so much releasing as we continued. You can see how relaxed she is here.

I wasn’t able to come to the shelter for a couple of weeks, so when I got back I was so excited to see the girls. When I came into the room, Connie and Caprice were really settled into a snuggle in their usual place. Canyon was in one of her usual hidey places. I entered slowly, put my hands around where Caprice and Connie were, a few inches away. I started sharing Reiki with the room, and in a few minutes I moved closer til my arms were around Caprice and Connie, containing them gently. I could see Canyon looking up at us and her eyes were very relaxed. I told them how much love I felt for them. It was a moment that felt absolutely magical. We were all connected in this one beautiful moment. Connected with the energy and the love, with light coming in through the window and mixing with the light of the energy.

I didn’t want to move, so I didn’t capture any of this on film, but the photo below is shortly after. Caprice is in the foreground, Connie is squished up against her.

After that, I worked with Canyon, and she started relaxing and pushing into the paintbrush. She looked at me in a way that told me she felt really at ease.

This day felt really special from start to finish, and my heart was filled with so much light and love and gratitude.

The next day (Saturday), Caprice and Connie were adopted together!

Wow. I had a feeling that something was going to happen for the kitties soon but I didn’t know it would be that soon!

I came back to the shelter Monday, as the shelter would be officially closed and I would be able to have a long quiet session with Canyon. I wasn’t sure if she would be really sad that her sister and kitten were no longer with her, and was eager to see how she was doing.

She was in her usual hiding place. I sat down on the floor and started letting Reiki flow, talking to her quietly.

To my surprise, she came out from her hiding place, and when I tentatively decided to reach out to touch her, she pushed into my hand! She started walking back and forth in front of me, letting me pet her as she went by.

I tried to wait til my hand was behind her head, as she felt more comfortable if she didn’t see my hand coming.

Eventually she started bumping her head into my leg.

My eyes were filling with tears. I felt her heart opening and that she was finally feeling free to come out of her shell. I stroked her again and she flopped down on her side and started rolling around!

I felt overwhelmed with so much sweetness and love. Like we were connecting in a way in which she had wanted to all along.

I wasn’t able to get back to the shelter again for a few days. In the meantime, others were having similar experiences with Canyon. One of my Bideawee friends posted this adorable photo of Canyon out and about, enjoying an ipad game.

And long-time volunteer Ken posted this video of him petting Canyon.

Friday, when I returned to the shelter, I ran into my friend Kerrie McKeon AKA the Cat Sleuth - or, I love the nickname a former Bideawee staff member gave her - the Cat Wizard!). Kerrie has been the Lead Feline Care Specialist at Bideawee for many years. She noticed the change in Canyon as well and was so delighted to see it. Kerrie’s knowledge about cats is vast and she is always thinking of new ways to enrich the kitties’ experience at Bideawee in a multitude of ways. She had left her phone in Canyon’s room with bird videos playing, and Canyon was loving it.

Canyon was even more confident with me than on Monday, readily coming close for TTouch and pets and headbumps.

From time to time she would stand close by, looking at me and making biscuits on the floor.

Then she rolled over, settling right in front me in the relaxed position you see below. Again, I was filled with so much love and joy for her.

I told her that if she meets someone she really likes, that she can let them see her the way she is with me. I feel that soon the right person will come and give her the loving home she so craves and deserves. It seems clear that she would like to be a solo cat, so she can be the regal kitty that she really is.

Many thanks to all my friends at Bideawee, love you all so much and am so grateful for you every day. It is such a pleasure and honor to work with the kitties there.

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I saw this beautiful squirrel in StuyTown two years ago. She was magical, with her fluffy white tail and unusual tuxedo-cat-like markings. When I first saw her, she was so shy, clinging to a tiny tree to try to make herself invisible to danger. But in time, her presence expanded to truly encompass the name I gave her, The Little Princess of the Trees.

Sadly, in the course of her first winter, her mama, who I call Little Socks (she had black tuxedo markings and a distinctive stripe down the middle of her head), must have passed away. She was also really special, and she and Princess were always together.

After the winter, Princess moved around the corner to a different tree, and that spring, had babies. I hadn’t seen her for a while, and was starting to get worried, but one day she came running down the tree, with several baby squirrels following her.

This clip was early on with the babies, and you can see they still got a little startled when I tossed nuts to them.

It always felt like she was watching over all the squirrels, and making sure everyone was all right.

One of her babies had coloring similar to Princess’ mother Little Socks, so I called her Baby Socks.

One of the babies was a lighter gray than most gray squirrels and has white feet and white abdomen, so I called her Baby Princess.

And one of her babies had fur that was all black, and I called him Baby Charley (there had been an all black squirrel who was hanging around with this bunch that I had been calling Charley). There were a couple of others too, who were hard to distinguish from the other gray squirrel babies that were running around in the springtime.

To backtrack just a little, these squirrels with special coloring go back several generations. The first one I noticed was in the middle of the pandemic. I used to take walks every day during the pandemic, and would often find myself winding through StuyTown so I could feel the beautiful energy of the trees and greenery and flowers and birds and squirrels. One day, a squirrel came up to me. She was black with little white paws, nose and abdomen, and a little bit of white around the forehead. I thought I was seeing things at first. I knew I was stressed and, did that squirrel actually have little white gloves? Tuxedo markings like a cat? I took photos so I had proof that I wasn’t imagining things.

Oh! For some reason that brings up a memory (elaborated on here)… I was a child and we were staying at a house at Seadrift Beach in California. Early one morning I saw jackrabbits on the beach! My mom knew I had a vivid imagination so she was skeptical, but… luckily she later saw them for herself!

It turned out the squirrel was famous in StuyTown and had been named Mittens. From that day forward, I would try to find her again. She was elusive and kept changing her territory, so I would just see her occasionally.

But then one day I came upon a squirrel who looked similar, except she more clearly had a white stripe down the middle of her head. So that was Little Socks.

Little Socks kept her territory to one location, so I became a regular visitor, and in the spring, her baby Little Princess of the Trees appeared.

To get back to Little Princess… she was beautiful but she was tough, and wouldn’t let anyone take food away from her, or bother her babies. She taught her kids well as to the ways of the squirrels. It seemed really clear as to the love and dedication she had for them. It also appeared that her intelligence and awareness was more keen than most squirrels - her energy and vibration was on a higher level and was just as unique as her coloration.

On the more practical level, I could tell that she was cautious because she knew she stood out with her white fluffy tail. Occasionally there are hawks around that area.

My connection with her felt so special. She would respond to me calling her name, and come really close. If she was up in the tree and I called her name, she would come running down to say hello. It always made my day to see her, and spend time with her and her babies and the other squirrels. It became this very magical place in my heart.

In my visits there, I have met a number of people who are as enchanted by the squirrels as I am. Each person has their own versions of the squirrel names, and we exchange stories about which ones we have seen or not seen lately, or anecdotes we have to share about our connection with them.

This past winter was cruel, and in those coldest days I didn’t see any squirrels out, only birds! I started bringing food for the birds as well as for the squirrels. And there was a period of time when no one saw Baby Socks, so we were really happy when she reappeared.

And Princess seemed very much around, til after February 14. How ironic that after the day of love she disappeared?

For a while, the other squirrel lovers and I were wondering if she was tending to babies in the tree and coming down occasionally, but I started feeling like I didn’t feel her energy present any more. What I mean is that she didn’t feel like she was an earthly presence any more. There was an emptiness.

Finally I contacted a wonderful animal communicator named Leiah Bowden, to see if she might connect with Princess and see if she was in spirit or still on the earthly plane. What Leiah heard from Princess was that her body was now in the earth and that she exists in the world of ideas. Here is a beautiful quote from the communication:

“Just as we can cross the Earth masses in our physical bodies, we register the Earth’s energies and move along the energetic lines to make the most of the life force available to us. We radiate the joy of the living Earth in our bodies and can be thought of as radios dialed to specific frequencies. I have enjoyed broadcasting the intrigue and adventure of life as an Earth-traversing carrier to the humans who have noticed me. The energy I carried was bluish-purple, which carried viewers into a future version of their potential selves that offered hope and joy. Each of the babies I carried and taught carried their own ray of intelligence, always staying close to the Earth’s energy lines to increase their individual chances of survival.”

She had some really special messages for me as well, which I treasure.

It made me so sad to know she wasn’t on the earth any more, but as sad as it was, it also helped me to come to a place of acceptance about it. I know she will be very missed by all of us who connected with her and know how special she was. She didn’t say how it was that she passed, but perhaps it’s better to just have in our minds the good memories we have of her, rather than images of how she passed away. Perhaps that’s why she didn’t say anything to the animal communicator about that.

I felt like I wanted to have my own ceremony for Princess. I went to her tree, where her kids and other squirrels are still living and playing and chasing each other around up and down the tree and through the grass. I started sharing Reiki1, and connected with Princess. I saw her as huge and translucent, as big as the trees and as wide as their whole territory. I felt her watching over everyone, protecting them. It was chilly but bright and sunny, a beautiful day. Lots of birds were around too, and I felt like she was protecting the little birds as well as the squirrels.

I thanked her and felt this really powerful connection of love. A feeling that everything is connected. I felt tears coming into my eyes that were sad, but that were also filled with joy and gratitude for having known this beautiful being on the earth, and then being able to connect with her in spirit. The beauty of that light and connection is so joyful and powerful it is almost overwhelming.

My friend Midori also had some beautiful communications with Princess over the last months. She also saw her as “a beautiful light around the trees watching the babies”.

She may no longer be here in the physical, but her presence and energy will live forever in the hearts of all who loved her and were touched by her magical presence. Her beautiful energy will always fill the trees with light that sparkles between the leaves on the trees.

To close, I’d like to share a song that I wrote a ways back, inspired by my visits to the squirrels (lyrics below the video).

Take Me Away

Take me away
Up into the tall trees
Take me away ohhh
Chasing the sunlight
Between the leaves
Take me away ohhh

I want to stay in golden sunlight
Oh in those last days of summer
Far away from darkening shadows
Breathing in all of that light

Take me away
Up into a bright sky
Take me away ohhh
Chasing the light
That hides behind clouds
Take me away ohhhh
I know my road has been long
But i feel i just started to learn
There’s so much I’ve still yet to see
Chasing light to infinity

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I designed two shirts in honor of Little Princess of the Trees, which are available in my etsy shop. A portion of the proceeds from this shirt will go to the Wild Bird Fund, an organization that also helps squirrels in need! Below are images of the shirts, and direct links to the shirts are here and here.

This substack is free, but you are welcome to give me a tip to help me buy more Churu treats for the rescue cats I work with. Click here or on the kitty picture below to do that. Thank you so much!

The love that one can have for an animal can feel so strong, so pure - happy tears come to my eyes any time I think about it. In each new journey I have with an animal, I feel a space in my heart opening, and an expanse of light in which we connect with each other. Love fills every cell of my body, as though the animal and I are one being in this beautiful, glittery moment in time.

Pearl was rescued from the streets of Brooklyn - the woman who was feeding a feral colony thought that Pearl seemed like she wanted connection with people, but was just shy. But her name wasn’t Pearl just yet.

Her rescuer arranged to bring her to PS9 Pets,1 and she arrived with the name of “Yowie”. I’m so grateful that the rescuer really cared about her, and gave her the chance to get a home.

But the name Yowie did not fit this lovely cat. After brainstorming names with a dear friend, “Pearl” seemed like her true name, and the lovely people at PS9 agreed. Changing an animal’s name may seem like a minor point, but I think that the image and visualization that comes along with an animal’s name can have a big effect. The sound and feeling of the name can affect how the animal feels, and can affect how people visualize the animal and their potential.

Pearl was quite scared at first, and could get overstimulated and swat. She was way at the back of the cat condo when I first came to visit her.

I started out really slowly, sharing Reiki2 with her before opening the door to her condo. Then I spoke to her quietly, gently opening the door and offering her a treat. Slowly she came a little bit closer to accept the treat. I could already tell she was a gentle, sweet soul - she was just scared.

By the second session, Pearl was already coming closer, purring and making biscuits from time to time! Below, you will see that just by speaking to her softly, she started relaxing and blinking at me. Speaking to a cat with a calm, slow, soft voice can be a simple but really powerful way to connect with a shy cat from any distance.

I was able to touch her while she took the treats. I would alternate between using a paintbrush and my hand to touch her.

When sharing the modality TTouch,3 we often use tools, such as a paintbrush, feather or back scratcher, as they help to give some space between you and the cat.

(clip below is in slow motion)

A shy cat will feel safer that way. The human will also feel safer, and will be more confident in their touch.

In the next session, she was making biscuits and purring before I even opened the door to the condo. :) Also, she started rubbing her face against my finger, which was so sweet!

As our sessions progressed, she started rubbing her face against my hand more and more, even without the treats. I mostly let her “pet” me this way, rather than actively petting her, as that allowed her the choice to make contact or not, and would likely also avoid her getting too overstimulated. She purrs the whole time…

I think it’s really important for the animals to feel that they have choice, rather than anything being forced on them. Forcing contact can actually make the progress go more slowly or the animal can even regress.

Gradually, I started to incorporate some pets and TTouch, still pausing at times to let her “pet” me.

After the TTouch and pets, I will sit quietly sharing Reiki with Pearl, and she will settle towards the front of the condo, purring.

With each session, Pearl has become more and more comfortable. Instead of hiding in the hidey cubby section of the condo, she started hanging out in the more open section, and started meowing to me and others, who she knows, to ask for attention, food or treats. She spent a short time in foster, which showed us that when she is given patience, she will settle into a home environment, allow petting and start the purring and head butting which she did in PS9. She was brought back to the shelter so she will have a better chance at getting a forever home.

PS9 is a real community place, and lots of people come by regularly not only to get food for their pets, but to visit the cats. Pearl started to be able to accept contact not just from me or the PS9 staff members, but from customers as well. Thank you to the cat store manager Lisa for sharing with me about Erin.

Erin, a regular customer of PS9, has become good buddies with Pearl, and it makes my heart so happy to see this! Above is a video of her petting Pearl, and below she is brushing her. It’s amazing to see this more vigorous contact happening and Pearl is not getting overstimulated, but is really enjoying it and relaxing into it:)

Below you see Pearl interacting with a customer who she has never met, which is so amazing to see!

(thank you staff member Christie for sending the following video)

I know that one day the right person or people will come to PS9 and take Pearl into their loving forever home. It will need to be someone who can be patient and let her have time to adjust, according to her schedule. But she is ready! Thank you to all my wonderful PS9 friends for all that you do. You are amazing, and I appreciate you so much!

3

TTouch is a gentle, but powerful modality invented and developed by Linda Tellington-Jones. The concepts were inspired by the Feldenkrais method (which is a modality for people), after Linda studied directly with Moshe Feldenkrais.

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Thanks for reading Notes From An Uncaged Warrior Parakeet! This post is public so feel free to share it. Please click the heart and comment, it means the world to hear from you. Visit my site about my work with animals, my art site and my etsy site. Message me if you are interested in any of the art you see in my articles. Thank you so much.

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A couple of weeks ago, in one of my favorite places to buy discounted craft materials, Lot Stop on First Avenue in NYC, I came across these six-sided boxes, with a little cord to hang them up.

I knew these were to be homes for some type of creature, I just wasn’t sure what that creature would be - yet.

A couple of days later, after a Reiki session with two cats, I went to the Whole Foods across the street to get a snack. In an area of the store that diplayed bunnies and Easter stuff, I saw this little stuffed animal.

So she had to come home with me.

In addition to providing inspiration, she joins the collection of creatures that decorate our dining area.

Some time ago, my partner had given me a smaller, plastic version of this animal, which is called an axolotl.

She inspired a series of drawings, in which I incorporated an old-school spirograph and hand-drawing.

After the pink fuzzy axolotl was brought home, I found out that axolotls come from a place in Mexico called Xochimilco (pronounced “sow-chee-meel-kow”).

Subsequently, the Princess of Xochimilco was born.

Being a princess, she has special powers beyond the normal axolotl, so she can change coloration at will. As you can see, some of her experiences are otherworldly.

Suddenly, a couple of other family members appeared. Below are her aunt (tia) and her daughter (hija).

I look forward to seeing what will happen next!

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Getting older is very surreal. Most of the time, inside myself I feel like these photos of me (above and below). I rarely really look closely at myself in the mirror, but when I do, I wonder how all the years have possibly gone by? It’s very weird to know that I am sneaking up on my seventh decade on the planet. How is that possible? What happened to all that time? How is it that I’m not that far from the age that my dad passed away, or that my grandfathers passed away? I better get going on all those projects I have in my head, time’s a wastin’!

I appreciate each day on earth more and more. I am so grateful for all the good in my life, and that I have many things I feel so engaged in doing: writing, making art, making music, working with animals, and more. I think all those things help me stay in touch with the young part of me, the part that is always curious, seeking knowledge and exploring something new. New types of art materials, new ways to make jewelry and dioramas, new things to try with the rescue animals I work with.

It makes me smile every time one of my animal friends starts to feel better after one of our sessions. There are always unexpected miracles that the work can facilitate, some of them really subtle, but huge in their own way, others more dramatic. Each new animal I work with is a unique journey.

It makes me smile when someone connects with something that I’ve made. Gives me such joy.

And one of the things I feel most important is keeping a sense of humor. Of course, with age have come those crazy moments when I walk to the middle of the room with much intention, but then forget what I was intending to do.

Or the other day, after I had been to the eye doctor and my eyes were super dilated so I dug out my darkest of dark shades. I was so happy I had found them. But then suddenly, I didn’t see them and I thought “Where did I put those now? I just had them!” Frantically I looked everywhere, which wasn’t easy cause my eyes were blurry from dilation. Well you can see from the picture below where the glasses were.

One of the best has been when I am talking on the phone to someone and I wonder where my phone went?

And then there is the situation where you are looking for your keys and you keep looking back in the same place multiple times but then one more time you look, and they are… there. How did that happen?

I actually can’t really blame age on the following occurrence when it comes to grocery shopping, as it has happened for decades. I always go with a list, but I get so distracted in adding other things to the basket that I think we need (my favorite snacks, for example), that I forget the main thing I went to the grocery store for.

The next one is also an extension of something that was already happening. Often when I am on the subway, I get lost in thought, perhaps writing something in my head or thinking about a situation that I’m trying to help, so I am not completely paying attention to the outside world. But recently, something quite strange happened. I always get off the G train at Nassau for a couple of my kitty clients. But I looked up and suddenly we were at Greenpoint Ave (the following stop). I’ll never be sure if it was one of those subway weirdnesses that can happen where the subway skips a stop without making any announcements. But still I wonder… cause occasionally I have been so involved in my inner world that I realize I just missed the stop! Trying to pay more attention about that…

At times, I can feel like I’m racing racing racing to get things done, but that feeling has always been a part of me. That there’s never enough time. I have to see if I can locate a decent recording of my song, “Up the Down Escalator,” which I wrote in the 80s, that captures that feeling. I have included the lyrics at the bottom of this post.

But there are also so many moments where I feel I am in a timeless place of endless time. When I am truly in the middle of creating something, or am in the midst of a session with an animal, or spending time with a human who I really connect with, it can feel that way. That I am in this place of infinite time and space. And that has always been with me too.

I’m so grateful to still be here, healthy, inspired, and to have so many amazing people and animals in my life.

In future posts, I will share further thoughts, songs, drawings and poetry about this. Let’s see what develops…

Here are the lyrics to Up the Down Escalator:

Up the Down Escalator

Trying to run up the down escalator
Have to keep running to keep from going back
It keeps on speeding up, so I try to run faster
And I feel like I’m not getting anywhere
I’m trying to go so fast
But I’m not anywhere

I’m chasing time up the down escalator
It keeps on speeding up and getting further away
I’m getting tired but I’m trying to run faster
I’m getting old and trying to get younger
I’m getting old and I’m not anywhere

Time is running away from me
Time is running away from me

I keep on running up the down escalator
Don’t want to go back where I’ve been before, no no no,
As I start to feel like I’m seeing the top
Fatigue and fear start pulling me back
But I can’t stop going, I can’t stop now

Time is running away 
Time is running away 
Time is running away
Time is running away

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Since early last year, I have been working with a group of cats who were rescued from a terrible fire that destroyed Happy Cat Sanctuary upstate. The cats who survived were taken in by various rescues, and I had the privilege and honor of working with the group which was brought into Bideawee’s Westhampton facility. You can see from the photos above and below how beautiful the facility is, with lots of hidey spots, toys, a fabulous view and a catio (available when the weather is good).

Every week I made the journey there on the LIRR, over 2 hours each way, but the traveling time didn’t bother me at all because I was so excited about working with the cats.

Most of them were so shy and traumatized in the beginning, of course, and many also had physical issues which needed to be addressed. Some of these issues were caused by being in the fire, others may have existed beforehand as some of the cats were older.

In my posts which are entitled either Long Island Tales or Long Island Tails, you will read in detail about the work I did with the cats. Gradually they began to be adopted:)

One of the kitties, Hera, went to fospice1, as she has chronic medical issues which will be ongoing, so Bideawee will continue to assist with her care. She is doing amazing with her foster.

Sadly, dear sweet Hades got extremely sick and passed away. I designed a locket containing his ashes in it in his honor, and wear it often.

In the last few months, there have been just four kitties from this bunch remaining in the shelter: Ares, Zeus, Clio, and Athena. They have all been making incredible progress. They all were coming out of their hiding places and were becoming much more open to interacting with people. All of them were allowing pets with treats, and some of them were getting comfortable with pets without treats. You could see from their faces and their body language that they were feeling so much more at ease than in the beginning.

Reiki really seemed to make a difference in their comfort level. Most often, I would work with them with treats a bit, then just sit down on the floor and offer Reiki2 to the room. The whole room got so peaceful and calm. Here is a short clip showing Athena, Clio and Zeus looking very calm - Zeus is having a snack. Reiki can help stimulate the appetite, which can be especially helpful for cats who are having trouble eating.

Athena, who initially seemed the most withdrawn of the bunch, would not take any treats for months and was really not interested in interacting, had a huge breakthrough and began to really enjoy the treats and pets, even coming into my lap a couple of times… and purring!

Here I am, working with both Clio and Athena with treats and TTouch3. You see Athena rubbing her head on things, looking so cozy!

Clio had been coming out of hiding more and more, and looking like she really enjoyed interaction as well. Her eyes were more relaxed, and she would connect with me in a way that told me she trusted me, and that she enjoyed our time together. And both Clio and Athena have purred at times in our interactions together! It’s the most beautiful experience to feel an animal opening their heart to you. You can really see it in this photo of Clio below.

It is interesting, too, how much the dynamic with the other cats in the room affected her as well as the other cats. Before Apollo (seen in the beginning of this post) got adopted, he had such a calming affect on the room and Clio had started to be more out and about altogether.

After his adoption, the remaining cats were more on the shy side, so she started to hang out in the space you see in the video below. But over time, she started venturing out again. I just go with whatever the cat is experiencing in that moment, and will see what can happen. The most important concept that I always come back to is being in the moment with the animal.

Here is a clip of her just starting to get used to coming out of her hiding place with me right near her. You can see she is a bit scared to do it, but she does it!

And here she is, settling in for Reiki outside her hidey spot.

Often, shortly after I left the room, all the cats were completely out and about.

Zeus, who was hiding out in his cave so much, had a breakthrough in his behavior as well as a real miracle in healing after having to stay at the vet’s office for some days. Please have a look at my post here in which I speak about a communication which the wonderful vet Dr. Young had with him.

After he came back from the vet, he was in staff member Amy’s office with Ares, in which time he and Ares bonded and he clearly was coming out of his shell.

Then he was re-introduced into the big room, where he was staying out and about more than he ever had when he had been in there previously. He is such a sweet, gentle boy. Following is a video in which he is sitting quite close to me, and I am gently doing TTouch with the wand from a wand toy. Note that I hold the wand flat to his body, for a more gentle feeling, and I am approaching him from the back, so he doesn’t see my hand coming. That can be a preference with very shy cats.

Ares also had to stay at the vet for a bit to address his medical issues, which thankfully are better, and then he was in Amy’s office with Zeus, then by himself for a while. In Amy’s office I was able to make even better progress with him.

He started coming into my lap for treats, letting me brush him, and I was starting to be able to do TTouch and pet him without treats as well.

He started coming closer to me to hang out for Reiki as well.

When he was in his cozy cave was when he could be more open to slowly working up to TTouch without treats. Below is a video in which I start with sharing TTouch with a wand. Then I TTouch him a bit with my hand. You can he is a bit nervous when I do that, so I go back to using the wand again, then my hand, and eventually he settles more fully into touch with my hand. So beautiful. Patience and gradual work goes a long way.

And here he is, out of his cozy spot. I start again with the wand, and then go to my hand. He is so relaxed here!

I have an especially strong bond and connection with him.

When he was in the big room, when I would arrive at the shelter, if he was out in the catio he would take a look at me and then run inside and wait at the door for me, so cute.

And one day when he was in Amy’s office and I arrived at the shelter, he escaped from the office, seemingly to look for me.

All of these events led up to this past week, which was magical:

The end of last week, a kind adopter who had formerly had a feral cat adopted Zeus and Ares together!

And then a few days ago, a lovely woman named Brittany and her son adopted Athena and Clio! This was an especially sweet story. They had come into the shelter several times, and had fallen in love with Athena. Athena was eagerly taking treats from them and they felt such a connection with her, like she was their cat. She talked with her son about the possibility of having a social kitten or cat, or having a shy one like Athena. He wanted to adopt Athena. And then of course they decided they wanted to adopt her friend Clio as well.

I have already had communication with Athena and Clio’s adopters and they are doing great! The kitties have a wonderful setup in a bedroom, with plenty of cozy hidey spots, and they are already out and exploring.

Here are two views of the cat house that Brittany made for them.

She has already been doing TTouch with Clio with the wand from the wand toy. She said that Clio is enjoying it so much, closing her eyes and looking so happy.

And it seems Clio has really taken to the cat house, perching there and watching out the window, so she has a safe place to watch the world, and when they approach the house they see her little face peering out. This all brings tears of joy to my eyes.

So now all the cats from this group from the fire are either in homes or in foster. I will miss them, but am so so happy for them. This has been such a journey, and I am so grateful to have been a part of it. So grateful for my wonderful Bideawee friends, and grateful that Bideawee took in these sweet beings and gave them such love and care. So grateful for the amazing adopters and fosterers. To have experienced this whole journey with these special cats and to know they are in beautiful homes with people who love them, is one of the most touching and sweet experiences of a lifetime.

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