Come into my soul.
Heart wide open,
you're welcome home.
Wounds still fresh,
I'll sit with you while you tend to them.
Wrapping you in light,
the warmth helps you heal them all.
Your journey is yours but I'll walk with you.
No burden will be yours alone.
The weight we share, 
together we lighten the load.
Wherever you go you will be safe.
Shadow and light take turns where needed.
Storms may be loom and rush in
but we brave it together.
Twists and turns may come your way,
but you will always find a way.
You won't forget your strength my dear.
Doubt will never tackle you.
I'll hold your hand when through it all,
silently and with warmth.
One look and you will remember
you hold the power to overcome all.
Whatever you choose, I will support.
No judgement or discouragement will come for me.
I trust you implicitly.
My faith in you unshakeable.  
When fatigue sets in, 
rest your tired heart, my dear.
I'll hum to you, holding you gently.
Sleeping deeply and peacefully,
you'll wake tomorrow renewed.  
And if the world tries to beat you down,
I'll be your shield, protecting your heart.
If you must go to war,
I'll be beside you on the battlefield.
Nothing and noone will pull me away.
I choose you always,
on bright days and dark days.

The weight was so heavy,
my lungs felt trapped.
My heartbeat unsteady
for years on end.
Got up each day
trying my hardest and best.
Two steps forward,
then one step back.
So many trials were faced,
each one gave me devastating verdicts.
Served my time in solitude,
all the while I toiled away.
The cage finally opened
and I was free.
Now another journey
was before me.
Set forth less layered,
bruised and raw still.
The days and nights,
both dark and light,
brought highs and lows.
To prove my worth
I kept saying yes.
More work piled up on me.
Eventually suffocating my soul.
Finally told the truth.
The weight was too much 
for my tired soul.
Dark days still loomed over me
just in another corner of my world.
Withdrew into myself,
reflecting and observing.
There was more work for me to do.
An inside job I needed to complete,
led me to the dark maze of my soul.
Hard conversations happened down there,
revealed more truth to me.
The journey is not easy.
Twists and turns pop up
here and there.
The ride itself gets so bumpy
some days.
But now atleast,
I feel more at ease.
My heart and soul
can finally breathe.
It happened one morning as I rose,
this epiphany.
I finally knew who I'm meant to be.
I finally know who I am and what I'm meant to do.
I choose a path all my own,
knowing what's meant for me 
will find me along the way.
Still scared as I take each step,
but refusing to give up on myself.
The universe favours a stubborn heart,
and this one knows it all too well.
Exhaling as I go,
knowing that come what may,
I can proudly say I chose myself.
Never again will I wrap a noose around my neck.
No death sentence for me.
I say no when enough is enough.
I won't burn myself out
to please anyone else.
I like being able to breathe
and won't bite off more than I can chew.
I can finally breathe.

Travelling to the depths of your soul
you find your darkness, now weary and cold.
Shadows surround you soon.
Each one gets their turn,
recounting events of days long passed.
A picture forms quietly,
until the memories are like an exhibit at the museum.
Taking note of what no longer fits,
you make a choice to lay them to rest.
A funeral brings years of held in tears,
grief untold pouring out.
You finally find your own light
and it burns so bright.
No longer a flicker in the dark,
you brought back your wonderful spark.
Wiping away the rivers that flowed,
you make a silent vow to this beautiful world.
As you continue to stitch yourself,
you'll let your light shine on others in need.
Patience and compassion found for yourself,
will flow easily to others in need.
You know so many are fighting battles of their own,
you choose to help them silently.
Words of encouragement, love and respect,
uttered gently when you see the need.
You know your worth and see theirs too,
so you help them see theirs through you.
As you go on your way,
forging your path,
you shine your light on others' dark skies.
Sometimes it's all they need to find their way.
Their journeys are theirs, 
and they know it too.
You help them find their way,
without telling them what to do.
A shoulder to cry on,
an ear to listen without judgement,
a warm embrace to hold them tight.
Those little things come from lights.
They help heal the soul just a little bit more,
feeding the light in each others' cores.
I shine, you shine, we all shine bright,
when the lights of this world,
help us through our fight.
The smallest act of kindness goes a long way,
for those who find their light,
they eventually help others find theirs too.
Sometimes they become a part of our lives,
helping to form a community so strong.
Their fire burns bright to shine on darkness,
releasing shadows that we all must face.
It sparks the flame that helps them 
burn away the old on their own,
making way for the versions that were meant to be.

While we’re on our journey,
our roots taking their time to sprout,
We can help others in their time of doubt.
Growth may be slow, 
but we eventually bloom.
We grow and they will too.
We pour into ourselves 
as we go along,
letting love flow into this world.
Places and people that once seemed barren,
slowly start to grow along the way.
Love becomes a force in this world,
a magic that spreads far and wide.
You feel it in the air
when lights are near.
There's a warmth and airy feeling around.
Our souls feel at ease when they're near.

My words flow out,
met with crickets.
My thoughts and feelings
dismissed.
The child in me lets out her joys,
met with crickets.
I try to show you that I care
but it never seems to matter, even a little.
Time and effort given freely,
never reciprocated.
All I get are short, curt answers,
never joy or curiosity.
Silence was never something I feared,
because more is heard and felt in it than words could convey.
This ache is one I hate to feel.
It seems as though the love I give
is not felt or wanted at all.
You make me wonder if something is wrong with me.
Do I lack something?
Depth, intelligence, or something else?
Silence from you feels like a dagger to the heart.
Making me want to retreat within myself.
I speak less than before,
solitude my companion.
Love should not make us feel alone.
I want to share the events of my days with you
but you never ask me how I am.
You tell me I can talk to you
but all I'm met with is crickets when I do.
You speak of many things with others
but never with me.
Perhaps it's time for me to leave.
I can't keep pouring love into you
when all you do is take and never give.
You want to be heard
but won't hear me out.
I feel myself shrinking at the thought of you,
knowing you don't want me the way I want you.
The child in me retreats within.
My light seems to dim every day now.
That chapter must end
without a doubt.
A decision was made and now I feel light.
I will not stay where my love is wanted, 
but not reciprocated.
I am not something to be kept.
I am someone worthy of the love I give.
Not lacking in any way,
maybe you were never worthy of me.
The day will come when I wear a sari again
for someone who will cry tears of joy to have me there.
No more crickets or silence that creates a void.
I choose to move forward 
leaving behind your dark cloud.

That chapter closed and now I’m free.

The past is the past and will not go with me.

No more shrinking or dimming my light.

I choose to be with someone who will welcome my talking of sense and nonsense.

I choose me to prattle on to.

Someone will come who won’t shut me out.

Someone will come who won’t make me doubt myself.

Someone will come who will be curious about me in every way.

Till then, I will continue to love myself.

A new day dawns
and I wake to clatter.
Silly little Luna parkours
from wall to wall.
My darling little fur-niece,
skitters here and there.

Breakfast is served for 
Madame Luna.
I have my coffee in silence.
Up I get with a little shimmy,
getting ready to conquer the day.
All set to go

I walk out the door, 
a bounce in my step.
The clouds look full,
ready to rain on me.
It starts with a dribble,
then the downpour comes.

Feet now squidgy,
but I’m a happy camper.
Wiggle and jiggle
I do in the rain.
Feeling like a child again.

Not giving a care in the world,
I tumble and smoosh into him.
A random lad on the wet sidewalk.
Apologizing profusely,
embarrassed to the core.

He chuckles and we try to get up.
Then we splat and thunk,
again on the ground.
We laugh and fumble,
the slippery sidewalk our nemesis.
On our feet again at last.

We bid adieu, 
Parting ways.
Walking along,
squish and waddle.
Soaked to the bone,
clothes clinging to skin.

A puddle ahead,
I can’t resist.
I sploosh then wobble and plop.
Down again, in a puddle this time.
I laugh and laugh and get up.

Off I go on my merry way.
Ready as always to conquer my day.

Thank you for the prompt .

Walking around half here, half there.
My heart and soul weighed down,
filled with despair.
Giving and giving,
forgetting to pour into myself.
Left a weight in my heart.
Barely any charge left in this soul,
my duties pulled hard on me.
Tired and worn from trying to carry it all,
My heart and soul began to shut down.
Numb to the world and
sickness found me, 
forcing me to be still.

Fog clouded my mind and sight for a while,
not realizing I was straying from 
the right path.
Admitted it to myself finally and 
working on correcting it now.
Mistakes made, 
beating myself up for it.
I looked in the mirror,
walking into the darkness.
Banished myself to face the shadows.
Almost forgot that patterns replay,
when not fully faced, they will stay.
Tears filled buckets when I saw myself,
not liking the hideous thing I saw.
Wondering who would want to be around
this ugly, unhealed thing.
I sit with her and keep doing the work.
The safety I seek, 
I need to become it.
A part of me wonders who would love
someone like me,
if my wounds and patterns were so ugly.
I notice I'm treated differently because of it,
and I think I deserve it.

Do the work, I must.
Quietly and consistently.
Love myself, I must.
Fully and unapologetically.
Face myself, I must.
Shadows cannot be in control.
Continue to stitch the wounds,
making sure they don't open again.
Bleeding on others will only cause pain.
I am far from done with fixing myself.
This work, a lifelong commitment.
I will remain loyal to it and myself.
These words and feelings may weigh on me,
but I choose to face them daily.
They will not stop me from peeling away old layers.
I have to make way for the better me.

The quote and follow-up question in this post that caught my eyes is below:

“Quote № 05:

“Love one another. My final lesson of history is the same as that of Jesus. You may think that’s a lot of lollipop but just try it. Love is the most practical thing in the world. If you take an attitude of love toward everybody you meet, you’ll eventually get along.”

— Will Durant (1885–1981)

~ Follow-up Question:

In a fractured world, is choosing compassion an act of hope, discipline, or defiance against despair?” -

I believe that it can be all three. Being compassionate toward others for me comes from a hope I hold within for them to feel seen, heard and cared for because I believe everyone needs that. So many people go through life struggling with things they do not, or cannot speak to anyone about. There have been people whom I have come across that take out the frustrations in their lives by hurting others. They don’t cope well with what they are experiencing and either refuse to get the help they need, or do not have access to the resources they may need.

Even a few moments sitting with someone, listening to them and offering presence may be all that they would need to help them a little. Discipline is needed with it because clear boundaries will need to be set when anyone chooses to offer compassion to others. They will need to be able to help others without depleting themselves. As someone who tries her best to show up for others and help in any way that I can, I know that discipline is necessary. When we choose to be kind and caring, that choice requires discipline. We must be mindful of others and how our actions may affect them also. We cannot offer help without thinking of the other person(s) beforehand. We have to stop and think about whether or not our actions or words would actually be helpful to them. It is also good practice to ask what the other would need or want in the moment.

It definitely is an act of defiance against despair also. When we choose compassion we are pushing back against hopelessness. My intention is to stop it from consuming myself and others. Hopelessness is something that can creep in quietly when we experience difficult things in our lives. Sometimes compassion for ourselves and others could be the very thing that helps fight that hopelessness.

This was my short reflection on this topic. I welcome others’ opinions and reflections on it also because there may be so much more that I did not touch on in this short reflection.

Image by ChatGPT

Filling my cup every day,
overflowing along the way.
Inner light shines bright,
becoming a guide for others' dark nights.
Eventually theirs shine too,
glowing in their unique hue.
My soul breathes a sigh of relief,
slowly pushing out grief.
I sit alone and listen to silence,
facing all truths buried and understanding.
I choose to continue to love each day,
no matter how life treats me on my way.
There's a peace that fills me up,
making me feel as though I'm in a field.
Sitting with the symphony nature creates,
in all of its magical states.
The wind, the flowers, the trees,
the birds, deer and bees.  
I feel at home when I think of them,
knowing I'll go back to nature in the end.

My light shines bright,
and yours will too.
Face what is buried,
be brave for yourself.
You'll foster peace within,
amazed at your own strength.
I leave a piece of me with you,
a mark so tender and small.
My time is not infinite on this Earth,
I hope to leave love wherever I go.
No pain, no misery, no destruction.
Just healing and hope I wish to plant.
Little seeds of love to spark the growth of 
a beautiful garden in this world.

The heart will beat through all seasons,
fierce when needed,
soft when called,
and steady through it all.
Your voices will be heard.
Your magic will grow.
Your peace and light will spread, you know.
A part of you will also be,
a tender mark on this world, you see.
The love we give will always spread,
near and far, removing dread.
A ripple in the universe, 
so soft and quiet.
It will continue for lifetimes to come.
Rest easy tonight knowing all will be well.
My prayer for this world will quiet hell.

From a small age I was shaped their way,

silent, obedient and told to stay.

Did as I was told and never complained,

feeling the fire slowly dim.

Eventually believing life was as they said,

just mechanical duty and no questions asked.

The embers within now buried,

lay dormant and cold for many years.

A good little girl, 

the part I played well.

Started to believe that their way was the only way,

swallowing every desire and passion I felt.

My voice was bound,

freedom a fleeting dream.

The weight of it all slowly burying me.

Sitting in the prison cell that was my life,

I felt the air leaving my lungs every day I wept.

Was this what life was meant to be?

Doing as I was told and not pushing back,

letting others dictate how a woman should act?

Be docile, be quiet, only sweet words should leave these lips.

Don’t get angry, don’t get sad, 

be okay with being left in the corner.

But that's not how I was meant to live,

a shell of a person swallowing every pain.

I finally reached the breaking point,

knowing I wasn't safe to be myself.

Rescuing myself became my aim.

I did what I had to for the girl in me.

No more silence, no more obedience.

Now I chose to break out of the cell.

Finally out of that cage,

the fire grows stronger with each day.

This voice now stronger than before,

screams, cusses, laughs out loud,

whenever the need arises for it.

Honey and spice drips from these lips,

while the fire within now blazes each day.

Took years to feel this free,

letting my spirit and body just be.

No more restraint on my vibrant soul,

I pursue what makes me burn with joy.

The wild, untamed woman in me,

she’s out and about and doesn’t care who sees.

Dancing bare as the day I was born,

in my own little world.

No-one can stop me from being me,

my dorky, sweet, wild, fierce self.

Feelings long repressed will no longer be hidden.

They’re out of the box and I’m not ashamed.

I burn, I yearn, I don’t apologize,

for letting myself be as I am.

Life’s too short to worry about the masses.

Life's too short to be worried about the masses.
My tribe will find me along the way.
We'll be wild and free in this world,
spreading love and light, creating magic for all.
Our flames burn bright and always will,
for we are the magic we found when still.

Bile burned in her throat.
A slow burning in her core,
steadily rising, searing her more.
Heat kept rising with each injustice.
Flames now raging,
engulf her entire soul.
The gag they tied to her now burned to ashes.
She unleashed her rage on all of them.
No more silence,
no more bowing down,
no more burning in her throat.
The truth came out,
every swallowed word came out like dragon's breath.
Burning the lies and illusions away.
All the wrongs she was forced to tolerate,
built up pain, resentment and fire.
She burned it all in just one moment,
ready to raise her sword as she breathed fire.

He dared to hurl insults at her,
using the past as his weapon,
but the past no longer holds power over her.
She swore to break the cycles for good,
bearing her sword and shield.
This battle will not break her,
the war is hers to win.
No brother, mother or father will silence her again.
She did not survive in vain.
She will protect as fiercely as she loves,
for the past will not be repeated.
No more poisonous loops will go on,
her voice is bold and strong.

Every Rakshas will be destroyed,
even if she doesn't unsheathe her sword.
The pen and tongue are mighty weapons,
she'll wield them when needed to clear the path.
Her body still trembling from it all.
She did not shudder at the boom in his voice,
instead she squared her shoulders and dared to push back.
Fear no longer in her eyes,
he realized he had no power again, 
but his ego did not allow him to quiet.
She will not bow to menacing beings.
She will not tolerate abuse or lies.
She will stand up and fight back,
for she is no longer the fearful one.
She found her Shakti and will not give up.
The wrongs will not continue in her wake.

It's Valentine's Day and I'm single. I don't feel sad or lonely, or like I'm missing out on anything either. Valentine's Day was never a day that was celebrated consistently when I was dating my ex-husband or when we were married. There was a time when I wanted to because there wasn't any romance or intimacy otherwise. I gave up on it because I didn't want to continue begging for something he never followed through on doing with me.

I've been single and celibate since 2022 and haven't tried dating much. Dating apps are scary for women. The one date I went on at the beginning of last year was a disaster. It seemed like the Universe was testing me to see if I learned my lesson, and I did. I spoke up honestly after the date, letting the guy know I didn't think we should see each other again. He didn't take it well, but I didn't engage thereafter and he left me alone. There was a time when I would over-explain but I didn't this time. My no was sufficient and he respected it eventually.

I've reached a point in my life where I feel safe and happy with myself. I romance myself, date myself and love the peace I have cultivated, daily. Today is just another day. Love is something I celebrate every day. I don't like the idea of celebrating or being romantic on one day of the year only. Love should be given, celebrated and nurtured daily in little ways. Grand gestures aren't necessary.

With love,

Sattie

I was at my grandmother’s house across the street and going downstairs when one of my father’s cousins blocked my way on the stairs. He was two years older than me and he had a look in his eyes that I didn’t realize was predatory at the time. I don’t remember if he said anything, all I remember was him touching a part of me he shouldn’t have. I screamed right away and he motioned for me to keep my mouth shut. I ignored him and screamed again and the moment he turned around to see if my father was coming for him, I bolted in the other direction lie Ato Boldon. I made it all the way to my father’s office and stayed there until I felt safe to come out. He was terrified of my father because he had a temper and he knew he would have gotten his ass beaten to a pulp. He was worried about my father, but not the neighbours seeing him violating a girl. The stairs to the second story of the house was not inside the house. It was built on the exterior of the house and not covered. A lot of houses were and still are built like that in Trinidad.

I was 23 when I next faced a monster. He was someone I met while I was at university. I naively thought he was the right man for me and trusted him. He was not. He took what he wanted and tossed me aside for an arranged marriage, because I wasn’t beautiful or well-educated or come from the same country or culture. I never told anyone in my family about that until my marriage unraveled. It was then that skeletons came out of the closet. I found out about the monsters in our blood. My grandfather was one. My grandmother allowed him to be a monster to their only daughter before he was kicked out of the house. That same grandfather hurt other women in the family. I don’t think I was one, though. I don’t remember much from before I was nine. My family and I lived at my grandmother’s house until I was nine, then we moved across the street because my dad didn’t want to be far from his mom.

One of my uncles was another, but again, noone spoke up until I told everyone about what I found out about my ex-husband. My gut told me something was wrong, but at the time I only thought it was him cheating (which he also did) and I went through his phone and found out he violated me by recording me during an intimate moment without consent, even after I explicitly said I would never agree to that. I wasn’t the only one he did that to. I found one other video and I didn’t tell anyone about any of it until he left me at my parents’ house when he was done with me. I deleted those videos because I was afraid he would put it on the internet. Then another part of me wondered if he shared it with his buddies or any of his cousins. I remember someone doing that to one of my aunties when I was a teenager and the thought terrified me. I didn’t want anyone seeing any of us in any state of undress or intimate moment.

Chaos ensued in the family, the skeletons came out after that. The monsters were there all along and I didn’t know it.

I never thought I would share this online. I held it in, worried about being judged or called stupid like I was whenever I didn’t do well at school as a child, or whenever I made a mistake. I still feel like a fool and a coward for not speaking up when I did. I know what’s done is done, but I want to make sure the cycles are not repeated. It ends with me. If I see it happening, I won’t keep my mouth shut ever again. I hope to God that I never come across monsters again though.

I’m sorry if this came out like a ramble. It wasn’t easy to piece together all that I could remember. I’ll take whatever criticism comes my way for not being brave when I should have been.

an endless dance in my mind's world.

A yearning for your voice,

as smoothe as silk,

it calms and excites this soul.

Oh to dance under the moonlight,

barefeet, free-spirited and bathed in her glow.

To hold your heart and soul through each storm,

I'd shield you from its torment.

Though far apart I feel your presence,

and the weight you carry.

I wish you knew I would walk with you,

supporting your dreams and purpose.

We haven't met but I feel like our souls know each other.

There's a pull I cannot deny,

this red string becomes shorter as I sigh.

Your pain I feel, your laughter I feel,

the anger and frustration, I feel it all.

To hold you when you need it most,

and hug you just because.

Just my thoughts for you, my dear.

Sattie R

A choice was made many moons ago.
So many hopes and dreams I had for it.
The beginning was sweet, or so I thought.
Little did I notice that the foundation was rocky.
I trod along, hoping all would be well.
Putting my efforts into pleasing.
My attempts to work on it were all futile.
Walls and blocks were always up.
I was never let in, always left out in the cold.
The silence was so loud, the darkness so terrifying.
My light dimmed so much that I did not realize 
that I had light within me at all.
Joy was never near me, only despair and loneliness.
I struggled to be happy, while making others happy.
My voice became but a whisper.
Tired of asking for what I wanted after broken promises kept coming.
Scared to say how I felt after being met with gaslighting or 
admonishing stares.
Becoming a shell of myself, feeling hopeless with each day passing.
The darkness devoured me and pushed me into an abysmal misery.