And just like that… it’s back to school time. Liz’s older boys start next week, and Amelia’s kiddos return to the classroom right after Labor Day. While it may still seem like summer outside, the routine and structure of school is returning for us all… and, we can only of course speak for ourselves, but… we’re ready for the shift, IT IS NEEDED (imagine us doing little happy dances as we flip that calendar page).

But, as much as we’re excited, we still struggle a bit to get back into the swing of things, physically, mentally, socially. How are we getting our acts together so September can be (somewhat) smooth? Let us share the ways we stay sane this season…

PS. More fabulous back to school (specifically for kindergarten!) advice and inspo courtesy of the lovely and her recent round-up from some amazing ladies (us included!!).

Supplies, calendar org + independence

It may seem obvious, but getting our school supplies ahead of time, having it all gathered, organized, and labeled, makes such a difference. A giant to-do to cross off! We did a big Target run a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been busy adding everything to the calendar, from school dates and events, to sports schedules and more. I’m bound to miss something during the BTS influx of emails but I’m attempting to be on top of it from the start.

I also really believe in giving my boys some autonomy when choosing their supplies, their first day of school outfit, any opportunity that gives them ownership. Having their favorite color folder and an outfit that they love helps to set us up for first day success in such an easy little way. — Liz

Wash, toss + do a late-summer clean-out

I give all of our back-to-school gear a good soak and scrub. Backpacks and lunchboxes that are coming back for another year go straight into the wash, I triple-check kids clothing sizing, stock up on name labels, and toss any water bottles or snack containers that have seen better days. I’ve also found myself craving a late-summer clean-out of books, art supplies and toys. It eases my nerves to start the school year with a clean slate. — Amelia

Get the kids involved in what we’re eating

Before school starts, I have the kids make a big list of snacks they love or want to try, then give our snack drawer an overhaul with choices they’re excited to grab for their backpacks.

We’re also trying something new this fall and having them help pick our weeknight menu. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m hoping a little more buy-in makes the what’s for dinner? part of September easier on everyone. — Amelia

Relax on the routine

I know everyone tells you to get back into routine asap, get those kiddos to bed early day one, but guess what? I’m not going to lose sleep… worrying about losing sleep. We’ve been doing somewhat normal bed times all summer for the most part, a bit later but nothing extreme, but even so, I’m not going to force a rough change right away. It doesn’t need to be an immediate transition, we’ll get back to a “normal” school bedtime over the course of the next couple of weeks. By being more relaxed about it, the shift will happen more organically… and enjoyably. — Liz

KISS: Keep It Simple Silly

One of the absolute best things we do every September is simplify; simplify as much as possible so I can focus on BTS and devote my energy to my kids’ needs, physically and emotionally. And that includes majorly slowing down our social life in the afternoons and evenings; 4:30pm is the time for decompression post school, not endless playdates. — Liz

Wait on the big fall clothing haul

My kids will still be living in summer-y clothes for another month, so I’ve learned we really don’t need an entire fall wardrobe ready for the first week of school. I order a few long sleeves, pants and sweatshirts for those random chilly days, but save the bigger fall order until we’re a few weeks into school. One less thing to tackle during an already busy September! — Amelia

Restock the homework cart

As my daughter has gotten older, I’ve realized how helpful it is to have one dedicated spot for important papers, project supplies, and homework. Enter our three-tier homework cart. Shared school supplies live on top, and each kid gets their own level for notebooks, workbooks and whatever else they’re working on. — Amelia

Connect one-on-one

Something I’m trying to do this last week of August is scheduling some intentional one-on-one time with my two older boys to connect before school kicks off. It’s nothing major, maybe a lunch outing, a trip to a favorite store, but knowing - for BOTH of us - that we have that special time to be together, to chat, to connect, is really, really lovely. — Liz

It’s still (kinda) summer!

My older boys go to school for two days… then have four days off for Labor Day weekend. So you better believe the vibe of summer is still raging in our house - and that’s fun! And OK! We often have a “back to school” pool party over the long weekend and we love the chance to still soak up the summer sun and splashes before we really start to settle in. — Liz

Get the calendar organized + give September some grace

My husband and I are using one of our weekly dates as a family admin date to get all the major school dates, activities and fall commitments onto the calendar.

But the bigger thing I have to remind myself every year is that September is a transition for all of us. School starts, my husband’s work travel picks up, I’m back to teaching toddlers, etc. So while we’re getting organized, I’m also trying to leave some blank space wherever I can and be a little gentler with myself and the kids as we find our footing. It takes time!

One mini tip within this one: I’m going to be more intentional about actually putting time for myself on the calendar this year. My husband is great about prioritizing things like PT or a sports massage, and I want to take a page from his book. I know I show up better for everyone else when I’m taking care of myself too, especially during the craziness of September. — Amelia

** We’ll be taking a break from posting next week in honor of Labor Day weekend, spending the time celebrating the holiday with our families and friends. We’ll be back in your inboxes on Friday, September 11th.

Paid subscriptions will also resume in September, and we’re so exited to amp up our content and offerings this fall. We’d so appreciate your support!

Rose:

Amelia - For our final hooray of the summer, we’ve been spending a chunk of this week on Mount Desert Island, and it’s been a literal slice of heaven. My husband sailed up to this part of Maine with friends more than a decade ago, but otherwise it’s new territory for all of us. We’re loving the woodsy, rugged change of pace. It is stunning.

One of the highlights so far has been a slow nature walk around Jordan Pond, with the kids stopping every few minutes to skip rocks, climb boulders and carefully make their way along the shoreline until they could dip their hands into the crystal-clear water.

Liz - My parents are here this week and it’s been lovely spending time with them. We’ve run errands, done endless puzzles, and eaten outside almost every single night. Sometimes the most “normal” and “regular” activities are really the best.

We also had a productive back to school outing to the Nike store, J.Crew Factory, and stocked up at Barnes & Noble. I’m so impressed and proud of the reading my boys did this summer and I’m happy to feed that passion and reward them with a fresh pile of reads (if you’re interested for good titles, we brought home more Diary of a Wimpy Kid books for my middle son and Wings of Fire Graphic Novels for my oldest, among more. I obviously couldn’t leave a bookstore without grabbing a goodie for myself too and this cover has been calling my name all summer).

Thorn:

Amelia - The arguing between my kids has officially reached new heights: they’re now arguing over Halloween night logistics… in August…make it make sense!

Liz - Lots and lots of together time for my three boys is just so, so…. not peaceful.

Bud:

Amelia - I’m looking forward to a few more days of exploring new hikes, restaurants and little shops, with plenty of time for the kids to splash around together in the hotel pool.

And, probably to no one’s surprise, I’ve found myself feeling especially reflective as summer winds down. I keep thinking about how much growth has happened over the past few months. They’ve tried new things at camp, stretched themselves in different ways and, through our 30-day math challenge this month, really strengthened their skills and confidence. They’ve grown so much this summer, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my front-row seat.

Liz - It’s the last weekend before school officially starts for my older two and I'm trying to fill it with some super chill fun things (think: ice cream sundae bar, classic summer movies, spontaneous little surprise plans) all with the goal of putting us in a positive mood (as we struggle with the end of summer crazies and intense annoyances with each other). It’s a balance, right?

My three boys are loud, very loud. They are messy and klutzy, there is no such thing as walking in our house; they run and jump and bounce off walls. There are dirty socks everywhere, in corners and crevices and overflowing from the laundry pile. Crumbs gather in seconds, volumes always raised to the highest degree.

All the cliches of having boys are… very true. And honestly, more. More mess, more fighting, more pushing, more breaking, more spilling, more crying, more cuts and scrapes and blood.

It is a lot. It is many, and more, and yes, it is “too much” to most people.

But not me. I refuse to see my beautiful boys’ abundance as a negative.

Give it all to me and give me even more. If you don’t like the noise, then don’t hang out in our hood.

As my boys progressed from adorable itty bitty babies to nonstop toddlers, to now elementary-aged young men, I’ve analyzed and reanalyzed my parenting approach on a variety of topics. Like all other parents, ideas I had on how I’d handle things changed when faced with reality. I’ve picked and chosen my battles and it’s always interesting to reflect on what issues actually feel most important now to my husband and I, what real lessons we want to instill at the end of the day.

And just as interesting, which ones we’ve left by the wayside.

One that has surprised me, as time has gone on, is realizing how little I strive for my sons to be “good”, to be contained, in control, “behaved”. In fact, as time has gone on, I’ve embraced, and downright encouraged, their wild sides.

Be loud! Be wild and messy. Be your true selves, even if that means (barely) no bounds.

Even if it bothers other people.

Even if it bothers me.

I heard someone once say that in parenting, when about to explode, they try to ask themselves, ‘Are my children being bad, or are they just annoying me?’, and dear Lord, doesn’t that just stop you in your tracks.

Cause if they’re just being annoying, well, that’s my problem, not theirs.

I’ll pop my noise cancelling AirPods on and blast some Bieber.

On our recent vacation to Lake Placid, as the sun set gorgeously on the crystal clear, calm water, my three boys flung their skinny little bodies off the dock onto a giant floating tube, screaming at the tops of their lungs as they did so. Over and over and over again. We all laughed and soaked up the scene before us, but did I also find myself asking them to be quieter, to settle down a bit?

You betcha.

But then I saw, really saw, what was right before me, their bliss, their pure glee and I said, no. I will not damper that down.

Go for it boys, I said, feel the glory that is this moment, loud and proud.

To the other lakeside residents soaking up the sunset, my apologies if my children’s laughs and yelps wrecked your peace; I hope you could recognize the joy of childhood instead of the annoyance in that moment. I promise if you do, life is a whole lot sweeter. If you can’t, oh well, not my problem.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not some zen mother, zoned out, letting my kiddos run naked through our backyard all summer long, whooping and hollering at all hours (though having naked toddlers was a long phase in our home… and an absolutely adorable one). I struggle - daily - with finding the balance of letting my boys figure out themselves, loudly and beyond boisterously, while still maintaining manners, some sense of decency, and ultimately, respect.

It’s a push and pull that I’m learning and figuring out every single day of motherhood, some days way better than others. I often reprimand them, then I reprimand myself, and vow to be more chill; we’re all learning as we go. It’s a daily practice, a nightly reflection. Because, of course, I do believe in the value of manners, of please and thank you’s, of conversation, and consideration.

But ultimately, at the end of the day, if my boys are kind, I’m content. I have to have the utmost faith that my family is creating a foundation of life lessons that will seep into their beings over time. That as they run and jump and yell and fight and figure it all out, these lessons will infuse into them, slowly but surely.

And that forcing them to stop all that noise, to be “better” - behaved, mannered, what have you - won’t make these lessons stick any faster, won’t drill them home any quicker.

If anything, it may do more damage. It may shrink their spirits, their energy, their enthusiasm for life. Schools want perfect circle times, jobs will want obedience; they will learn that pleasing people may make things easier in the moment, but in the long run, you just do yourself a disservice. There is no doubt that life will try to contain them, to restrain their active bodies, to teach them that quiet gets you farther than loud.

But dammit, it won’t be their mother doing that.

My boys are kind, sweet, absolutely friggin hilarious. They cause chaos more often than not. I believe that by channeling their energy, that enthusiasm, they will do great things.

It will be the honor of my life to witness it.

So, be wild my precious boys, let’s live it up.

Rose:

Amelia - We had a great time hosting my family in Maine this past week! A few highlights were having everyone over for a lobster dinner the first night, swimming at their hotel pool, spending a day at Goose Rocks Beach, and joining in on some of the arts and crafts classes there. It’s always such a treat to share our happy place with them, and this has become a trip we look forward to every year!

Liz - We also had a Maine adventure! We had a wonderful day trip to Kennebunkport last weekend, filling our cup with beach time, lobster roll lunch downtown, and even a bop into my favorite store. We picked up our beloved blueberry pie to bring home and stopped for ice cream at Nubble Light. We were all sandy and tired from a day in the sun, but oh gosh, that Southern Maine coastal breeze did wonders for our spirits.

Capping off the weekend, my husband and I squeezed in a date night on Sunday and it was just lovely to converse without chicken nuggets or bickering.

This past week was my boys last week at camp for the summer, and it’s been so awesome reflecting on another great summer experience with their local rec park camp. When you book camps way back in the dark days of winter, it can be a bit worrisome to wonder how they’ll work out… but such a sense of relief when they really do.

Thorn:

Amelia - Our schedule at the end of this week and into early next week is very much hodgepodged together, and for someone who really appreciates routine, it’s throwing me for a bit of a loop…

Liz - The sibling arguing and downright annoyances to each other is horrible. It happens every middle of August… it is time for everyone to return to school and have a little space from one another - and have authority from adults other than mom and dad. (Amelia: 1000%. This is sooooooo real.)

Bud:

Amelia - Next week we’re heading further north to Acadia, a part of Maine we’ve somehow never explored... I’m excited to check out a new hotel, head out on some family hikes, hopefully sneak in some pool time with a book in hand, and spend lots of time outside soaking up the beautiful Maine scenery.

Liz - We have some summer fun ahead this weekend, including a family birthday party for my adorable 2 year old nephew on Saturday, as we all soak up the end of August (cue Noah).

I’ve always looked forward to this time of year. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been all about the fresh start of a new school year and picking out new school supplies. And with a mid-August birthday, it naturally gets me thinking about what I want to carry forward and what I’m ready to leave behind.

As I thought about turning 37 next week, three habits immediately came to mind that made a real difference for me this past year. Each has been a game changer for my mental health. I’ve also been thinking about a few new ones I’d like to make a more regular part of my routine.

Here’s what’s coming with me into this next year…

A really great audiobook.

I know I’ve mentioned this ad nauseam, but having a fun audiobook going on Libro.fm has been the best mental health hack. I get completely sucked into these characters and their worlds. When life feels heavy at times, it’s such a healthy and happy escape to let my mind wander somewhere else for a bit. Recent favorites: The Correspondent, Whistler, Call Me Maybe, The Wedding People, and Romantic Comedy.

My nightly magnesium + chamomile tea ritual.

The magnesium + chamomile tea combo has transformed my sleep. My routine is simple: magnesium with dinner, then a cup of chamomile tea as we all wind down for the day. It’s become a little evening ritual I genuinely look forward to when I’m home.

Evening weighted vest walks.

These walks have quickly become my favorite way to move my body. I can adjust the weight depending on how much energy I have that day, and I always come home feeling tired in the best way and ready for a solid night’s sleep.

Here are seven habits I want to prioritize this year and how I’m hoping to make room for them..

Spend more time creating.

Writing, yes, but also making things with my hands. Bonus points if it’s in community! I made a summer mood board a few months ago, and just seeing it hanging in my room still sparks so much joy. Creating is so good for me, and I want to keep that momentum going.

How I’m making it happen: Signing up to teach Tween Nights most months, attending Craft Nights, and penciling in time to create with my daughter.

Bonding time + getting creative = win-win!

Finally make my way through The Artist’s Way.

I’ve started and stopped The Artist’s Way a few times now. I have The Artist’s Way Toolkit and recently bought the audiobook to listen to on the go. I’m hoping that combination will help me stick with it, especially the Morning Pages and Artist Dates.

How I’m making it happen: Blocking off time in my calendar to listen to The Artist’s Way, write my Morning Pages, and take myself on Artist Dates. And reminding myself that I don’t have to do any of it 100%—just getting started counts!

Make Artist Dates a regular thing.

I’ve been on and off with Artist Dates, but I want to get back to setting aside time to do things purely because they interest or inspire me.

How I’m making it happen: I always enjoy any excuse to make a list! Museum exhibits I want to visit, movies I’d like to see solo, new neighborhoods to explore…the list goes on!

Stick with my red light face mask routine.

My red light face mask didn’t get much use until this summer, but lately I’ve been dedicated to using it for 5-7 minutes each morning. And boy, does that red light wake me right up come 6:30 am! I’m already noticing a difference in my skin, especially coupled with a new-to-me overnight cream.

How I’m making it happen: Making both impossible to miss! My overnight cream sits right next to my toothbrush, and my mask stays charged on my bedside table.

Keep carving out time for my marriage.

Our weekly date nights have been such a highlight of the summer, and I’d like to keep them going into the fall. We’re also planning to head back to the Berkshires, and I’ve already mentally packed my bags!

How I’m making it happen: Getting organized! We have a built-in Sunday morning brunch date while the kids are at Sunday school, so we’ll use some of that time to plan ahead.

Create a workspace of my own.

We’re turning a small area of our bedroom into a workspace for me. I often work from coffee shops or our kitchen counter, so I’m excited to have a little space that’s all mine.

How I’m making it happen: Finalizing the design and finally getting that furniture ordered!

Keep making our home feel more like us.

We’ve lived in our home for over a decade, but I’ve realized that creating a home you love is never really finished. I want to keep making little changes that reflect who we are now and how our family has grown.

How I’m making it happen: We recently added a few more plates to our plate wall in the dining nook, and it’s been so fun watching that space come together over time. I’m taking the same approach with the rest of our home, going room by room and seeing where a few updates could make a difference.

Rose:

Amelia - My husband treated me to an early birthday present of tapas in our neighborhood followed by the Olivia Dean concert. Let’s just say I was in heaven. She was an incredible performer, and it felt like such a treat to spend a Monday night out doing something fun together!

Liz - The weather has been absolutely stellar, and I’m trying to appreciate it fully with lots of outdoor time. It’s been a true rose in an otherwise up-and-down week, and having the sun shining in the background has been lovely and grounding.

I also started a new book and it’s slowly but surely drawing me in. I love getting to the part of a book where I really start looking forward to settling in each night with it (and it’s gorgeous cover).

Thorn:

Amelia - I haven’t been sleeping well lately… and it’s brutal!

Liz - The post-vacation virus continued and it’s been rough. Dr appointments, chest x-rays, and lingering exhaustion has all of us wiped and drained.

*Has anyone ever experienced a virus that included intense chest/torso pains!? I never had until this time around and it’s been weird and very stressful. They were distinct pains, as if you lifted weights and hurt muscles, but they weren’t from coughing endlessly. So glad we’re feeling better finally (knock on wood a million times).

Bud:

Amelia - We’re heading to Maine for our family’s annual visit, which means lots of lobster, ice cream, and time by the pool and at the beach. This year feels extra special because we get to show my little nephew some of our favorite parts of New England for the first time. We can’t wait!

Liz - We may try to squeeze in a few spontaneous fun summer plans this weekend to take advantage of a quiet calendar and gorgeous weather. Then next week is my boys’ last week of camp, so wrapping that up and using that time, myself, to get organized for the shift into back to school season ahead of us. Eeeek!

We’ve always enjoyed posts that feel like a peek into someone’s brain: the things they’re reading, buying, thinking about, and recommending. So we thought, why not create our own?

Welcome to our new series, This, That & The Other Thing. In each post, we’ll share a handful of things that have delighted us, made us think, or become part of our everyday conversations.

Here’s what’s been on our minds lately..

Liz’s Three things:

This:

We’ve taken a big family vacation to the Maine beaches the past several summers, but this year we switched it up and headed to a lake! Lake Placid specifically, and we immediately fell in love with the beauty of the Adirondack region and the adorable downtown.

While I’ll proclaim my love for the Maine coast til the cows come home, dare I say, I’m liking lakes now too!? The lake vs. beach debate is one we all know, and I’ve always been (and probably always will be) team beach. But there is something about the serenity of a lake, the stillness, the mountains surrounding us, that calmed me, not more so, just differently, than the wondrous waves of the ocean. Seeing my boys fish and kayak, jump off the dock and squeal with glee sealed the deal. I really like lakes now too.

Did I miss the sound of the waves crashing into the rocks? The salty air? Yes and yes. But then a loon called out and brought me back to the beauty in front of me.

I texted with a friend who has a lake house, sharing my recent slight conversion to his side and he made a good point. It’s not about lake vs. beach; all that matters is being near the water. Amen.

Amelia, where do you land in this debate!?

Amelia: Oh my goodness. What a great question!

My gut reaction is Team Beach. I fell hard for the Southern Maine coast after my husband surprised me with a weekend getaway to Kennebunk as my college graduation gift 15 years ago. Middle Beach has been our go-to for the past five summers and has quickly become our happy place.

That said, I’ve started to see the appeal of being on Team Lake. Between Liz Adams’s lake house content and the peaceful morning I spent by the lake at my daughter’s sleepaway camp last month, I’m officially lake curious…

That:

Continuing my vacation-themed things and thoughts… remember the days of throwing clothes in a suitcase and hitting the road? Those are long gone, with my packing approach now one that is strategic and very planned out.

This past week I found myself reflecting on the random items I brought along on our trip, things I probably have deemed as necessities 10+ years ago. Now I can’t live (or travel) without them.

My must-haves: My favorite pillow because all other pillow make me sore. My daily vitamins because I’m an old lady now and depend on them. My sleep gummies because they keep me from being up for hours at 3am. My full skincare regimen is a non-negotiable. Cozy evening socks because who knows how the floors will be wherever I am.

Amelia, how about you!? What are your must-haves when traveling now??

Amelia: I honestly don’t even remember those days… they feel like such a distant memory!

Funny enough, cozy socks have become a staple for me too, no matter the season. I love having a little comfort from home when I’m walking around or winding down for bed in a new place.

I also never leave home without my Crown Affair hair towel. It doesn’t matter the weather or time of year—it works wonders for keeping my hair from getting frizzy. My Owala water bottle is another must so I can stay on top of hydration while traveling. You’ll also find electrolytes, my favorite clear protein, and sleep supplement tucked into my bag. And I can’t forget my Lake cotton robe. It rolls up so easily and instantly makes wherever I’m staying feel a little more like home.

And The Other Thing:

While in Lake Placid, we explored the Olympic Ski Jumping Complex and became fascinated with watching young skiers practicing (9-18 year olds jumping off 100+ meter slopes!). We saw a young man training for the 2030 Olympics and my boys became fans of his immediately (getting a photo as proof for when he’s famous come 2030 ha!).

It had me thinking about these unique interests and hobbies that can develop in your youth, and how to support them as a parent. I was very into Colonial Williamsburg as a child (thanks to the American Girl doll Felicity) and could be found painting spoons and playing games using a wooden hoop (iykyk). I also had a subscription to Dog Fancy magazine and knew every single American Kennel Club breed by heart. My husband loved reptiles and used to breed bearded dragons. My boys come from a family full of quirky interests and I love that about us.

We’re now ski jumping enthusiasts, with a specific favorite athlete already. My oldest said he’d like to try a little jumping next ski season. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Who knows what’s on the horizon for all my boys with their passions and activities but how fun is it to support them, no matter how out of the box these interests may be. The more unique, the better.

Amelia, please tell me you had some adorably weird interests when you were little too!

Amelia: Of course I did! This whole thing made me laugh.

I was a huge scrapbooker as a kid and would attend adult scrapbook classes at our local craft shop. I loved eavesdropping on all the adult conversation while cutting up my photos and sticking stickers to each album page.

I was also all in on elementary school lip-sync competitions. I’d convince my friends to sign up with me, and we’d spend hours learning a choreographed dance. We had the best time!

I have a funny memory of when my middle school best friend and I were convinced we were destined to be in a face wash commercial. I just remember us filming take after take with soap suds on our faces, smiling and singing, “Clean & Clear and Under Control!” Sadly (or maybe thankfully), Neutrogena never called.

Amelia’s Three Things:

This:

I recently heard on the Bad on Paper podcast about a trend where people share five expensive purchases that are actually worth the money, and I thought it would be fun to share ours! These are the things I’ve worn or used countless times—or products I repurchase the minute I run out.

Nili Lotan Shon Cotton Pants – The quality is incredible, and I can say with certainty these are the most-worn pants in my closet.

Moscot Sunglasses – I’m a newer Moscot fan, but they’ve quickly become my favorite sunglasses. Their styles feel timeless with a little personality, and I love that I can pop into their Newbury Street store to try on different pairs.

Le Prunier Plum Beauty Oil – I slather this on morning and night. I love the subtle scent, the way it feels on my skin, and it’s one of those products I reorder the second I run out.

Fellow Electric Tea Kettle – This is one of those little luxuries that makes an ordinary evening feel special. I use it every night, love how beautiful it looks on our countertop, and appreciate that it keeps the water hot until I’m actually ready to make my tea.

Bose QuietComfort Headphones – I’ve had these for years, and I honestly can’t imagine working from home or finding a little peace while my kids are running around without them. Worth every penny!

Liz, what are yours?!

Liz: My mind went immediately to my beloved and treasured skincare products, those that are pricey but I use daily and swear by. I also have come to absolutely love my AirPods, using them way more, and enjoying them way more, than I expected.

That:

I wrote the below Substack Note last month after having an interesting conversation with a friend, and I was so fascinated by the responses.

I’m curious what you think, Liz. How old were you when you had your first? Do you think the age you became a parent has shaped how many children you wanted—or how you’ve experienced different seasons of motherhood?

I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts in the comments too!

Liz: Love this question and reflection! As someone who lived a very full life in my twenties (trying out jobs, bopping around, lots of fun with friends (maybe too much ha!), I feel like having my babies starting at 31 was perfect for me. I got a lot of energy out before then, I was ready to “settle down” and focus on family, and I fully understood and accepted this new stage in my life. I personally rarely crave more freedom now (in the broader sense - I obviously still crave alone time), but am also really enjoying my boys getting a bit older and we, as a family, experiencing more freedom and doing more.

And The Other Thing:

I loved Grace Atwood’s recent post: Making More Time for Fun. It got me thinking about how easy it is, especially as moms, to get stuck in logistics mode and not make as much room for fun in our own lives.

I loved reading her list of the little things she finds fun, and I thought it would be a nice little exercise to share a list of my own.

— Going on a walk-and-talk with a friend. Whether it’s around the Public Garden or along the Esplanade, there’s nothing better than being outside, catching up, and losing track of time together.

— A Saturday with absolutely no plans. Waking up and deciding what we’re in the mood for that day feels like such a treat.

— Traveling somewhere new with my family in tow. We all know a vacation with kids is really just a trip, but I do think these experiences get more enjoyable as our kids get older. There’s nothing quite like seeing a new place through their eyes.

— Trying a new restaurant with my husband, another couple or a small group of friends and ordering a bunch of dishes for the table to share / comparing notes on everyone’s favorites.

— Celebrating my favorite people with their favorite people. Whether it’s a milestone birthday, an anniversary, or another special occasion, I love creating intimate celebrations with thoughtful details that make someone feel deeply loved.

Liz, would love to hear what’s on your list of fun?!

Liz: Let’s make more time for fun! For me, I love going out to a good restaurant, and if kids are in tow, a restaurant I feel confident in (aka my boys will eat, enjoy, and be comfortable at). I also love finding little gifts for loved ones and showing my affection that way. And nothing beats bopping into a bookstore to peruse and purchase some new goodies.

Rose:

Amelia - On a whim, a friend and I went to see the new Mary Oliver documentary and grabbed a late bite afterward. It was such a lovely way to start the week... doing something that filled my cup and left me feeling so connected to a friend I haven’t caught up with in a while.

Also! I’ve been thoroughly enjoying this little gem of a book, Natural Disaster. It follows one chaotic day in the life of a mom on her last day of maternity leave and somehow manages to be laugh-out-loud funny, incredibly relatable, while also pulling at your heartstrings. (Liz: I can’t believe we haven’t talked about this! This book is sitting on my bedside table to read soon! I won it via ’s giveaway!)

Liz - We returned home from vacation on Monday and along with it, the post-vacation blues; we adored Lake Placid (despite lots of rain!). My three boys loved seeing the ski jumping and the young skiers training, they participated in some indoor rock climbing, and endless fishing and kayaking. But possibly the best part? Spending time with my sister and her trio of little kiddos, their cousins. Was it loud? You betcha? Are we tired from late nights? Heck ya. Did they fight and scream and cry and did one even throw up? Yup. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thorn:

Amelia - As much as I’m looking forward to back-to-school season, September, and fall in general, it definitely hit me this week that we’ve reached August… aka the Sunday of summer.

Liz - Along with post-vacation blues and emotions… we also brought home a nasty virus, so this week, transitioning back to reality, has been extra rough.

Bud:

Amelia - We have back-to-back pool parties this weekend, which couldn’t have come at a better time with the heat wave! Saturday is a milestone family birthday, and I’m especially looking forward to catching up with my sister-in-law, who’s visiting from Georgia.

Liz - We have a fun-filled (yet chill, thank goodness!!) weekend ahead, with a pool day on Sunday with a favorite friend, and some sister-in-law birthday celebrating too.

Becoming so invested in a sport that I download the schedule, add it to my calendar, and plan my days around games was not on my bingo card for 2026.

But here I was, doing just that, for several weeks this past June and July, as my family and I became World Cup fans for the first time.

We discovered underdog teams and cheered them on. We fell in love with new favorite athletes (Erling Haaland!!), with my youngest son even choosing his new idol’s number for his own upcoming soccer jersey number. We learned fun facts and analyzed plays, and screamed with excitement and disappointment, accordingly.

And when the final game came around, we painted our faces and cheered for the champions.

I’ve mentioned it multiple times before in this newsletter, and everyone and anyone who knows me wouldn’t be surprised: I’m one of the least athletic and sports-interested people out there.

But there was something about World Cup fever that enthused me, that excited me, that made me <gasp> a legit sports fan.

I actually did have a stint in youth soccer myself, though extremely brief. My one core memory is of standing in the goalie net, scared for my life, as my teammates kicked balls in my direction.

Why in the world was I assigned goalie? No clue. But it didn’t do the sport any favors for me and I lasted only one short season.

So the humor and irony isn’t lost on me as I drove my oldest son to a goalie workshop this past spring, as his own personal passion for the position grew steadily.

My oldest has played soccer for several years now, and despite trying other sports as well, the joy that spills out of him on the pitch is undeniable and incomparable. He bounds from one end to the other, never not bouncing, sweating with energy and enthusiasm.

As a mother, it makes me heart so unbelievably happy to see my child that happy, engrossed in an activity with such passion, embodying what feels like their truest self.

And as an amateur sport enthusiast, it makes me excited for all that’s to come.

We got our first taste of the next step in my son’s sports journey with travel team try-outs last month. Travel team takes it up a notch, with a greater time commitment and traveling around the region for games, for both fall and spring seasons. My son was interested and eager, and we were happy and eager to support this.

I don’t believe in the need to pick any sort of speciality in sports or hobbies at only nine years old. But there are only so many days in the week for activities and focusing in a bit more felt like a good next step, especially for a sport that not only brings him joy, but also an opportunity to teach the act of dedicating oneself to more intentional growth and development.

All kids make a travel team, the rosters are created though based on varying levels of ability, thus an obvious desire to be on a higher ranked team.

We entered the try-outs, a three day span, with a simple mission: try your absolute best, listen to the coaches and follow instructions, have fun.

And that’s what he did. My son did great the first two days, showing initiative and interest, doing what was instructed. The final day of assessments he struggled; between not feeling well and almost 100 degree heat, his energy was low, plain and simple.

This was our first experience with being judged and ranked, but it wasn’t the pressure, the high heat, or dragging feet that left me feeling uneasy from the sidelines.

It was the other parents. Encouraging their own children, yes, but more than that, giving negative opinions on the coaches, other players, the process, possible team arrangements.

I overheard remarks on who was better than who, how they themselves would do better than the coaches who were out there, volunteering their time and giving it their all. I heard disheartening comments on other nine year old boys and how parents would reprimand their children post-assessments on their so-called lack of effort.

I heard some reassurance as well throughout the process, but the moments that unfortunately stuck with me weren’t as uplifting or supportive in nature.

It dug a little hole in my heart but I was determined to keep the experience a positive one for my son.

A few weeks later, we received my son’s team assignment and were thrilled that a good buddy was placed on the same team. My son’s team is in the middle of the pack and we all are just fine with that.

Sports - and my ever-growing interest in them - has become one of the biggest surprises of motherhood for me. The camaraderie it’s given my boys, the opportunity to learn lessons, not just on the field, but for life, amaze me. The deep value in sportsmanship can’t be beat. I now view athletics as a tool as I continue to navigate raising three beautiful, kind young men.

And this summer, soccer became a thing that not only brought my son pure joy, but our whole family. It showed me how a simple, singular game can bring forth so much unity, cliches be damned.

We’re excited for a year ahead for my oldest boy as he bops around, competing against new teams, and developing his skills.

We’re eager to embrace the qualities of the sport that we saw exhibited on a world stage this summer, a sport and passion that feeds into how I’ll parent going forward. The feel-good vibes of being a fan have rubbed off on me, for the best players in the world, and most of all, for my sweet soccer playing boy himself.

Rose:

Amelia - Friendship catch-ups have felt especially special this week. I’m reminded all over again that we’re all in this parenting thing together!

Liz - We’re getting our first taste of lake life this week, as we vacation with extended family in Lake Placid. It’s gorgeous up here, with an adorable downtown (bring on souvenir shopping!), and we’re blown away seeing several Olympic sites (we saw a young ski jumper practicing for the 2030 Olympics!).

Thorn:

Amelia - I’ll happily take the cooler temperatures… just not all this dreary rain.

Liz - We kicked off vacation with a whole lotta rain (OMG!)! We made the most of it, with an expensive arcade visit (ha!), but oh gosh, we all felt very, very damp 24/7 for awhile…

Bud:

Amelia - I’m sooo excited to cheer on my daughter at her camp play today! She’s been working hard to memorize her lines and learn all the new songs. I can’t wait to see her up on stage!

Liz - The month of August is ahead, a month I love. It’s reassuring to know school is on the horizon, routine and structure is ahead. But in the meantime, soaking up the lazy dog days of summer (cue T-Swifts august on repeat).

As much as we try to embrace the joys of summer… sometimes it’s just hot, sweaty sibling fighting, and chaos. So when we’re about to pull our (frizzy) hair out, these are the summer tactics and items that are helping us get through. Take any that work for you, leave any that don’t. Share your own personal to-do survival tips in the comments because we’re seriously in this all together. Pass the cold drinks and cheers!

Weighted vest evening walks

I’ve had a weighted vest collecting dust in my house for longer than I care to admit, and for whatever reason earlier this summer I finally got the urge to start using it. Spending an hour outside a few times a week with an audiobook has become one of the best things I’ve done for my sleep, my mental health, and my overall well-being. I’m officially hooked! — Amelia

Our daily schedule - written down, right in front of us

When the boys aren’t in camp, when they are home with me all day, I grab a pen and paper as I pour my coffee, and get to work. I write down the full day ahead: to-do’s, chores, activities, appointments, arts-n-craft projects, etc and then each boy has a column next to every individual listing, so they can check off each item one-by-one. Then we can begin our day.

Having the day literally displayed in front of them, expectations are set, jobs are assigned. It gives us structure to what could otherwise be too much freedom, too much openness, too much unknown, too much wiggle room to whine and shove siblings.

I’m amazed by what a simple tactic can do; it guides my boys and almost always leads to more positivity and productivity, while also allowing us to have summer fun; that’s always included on the to-do list too ;) - Liz

Leaning into my creative energy

This spring, I committed to posting almost daily Notes on Substack. I’ll be honest..at first it felt awkward. I wasn’t sure what to share, what would resonate, or if anyone would even read what I wrote.

I’m nearly four months in and I feel like I’ve found my voice. I get so much joy from shining a light on day-to-day moments that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. I keep a running list of ideas in the Notes app on my phone, and I’m amazed by how often something happens that makes me think, “Ooooh. I want to share that!”

It’s also been fun to see which Notes resonate with readers, but even more than that, the daily practice has become a mindfulness exercise I really enjoy. — Amelia

Boys: bring on the chores

The secret sauce to my boys’ daily written down schedules? Infusing them with lots of little chores for them to cross off every single day! We’ve all heard the message that chores give children a sense of responsibility and belonging within a family, and I’ve decided to run with that this summer.

So my boys are tidying their spaces, wiping down bathrooms, setting and clearing tables, vacuuming, and more. My personal workload is lightening, my boys are learning new skills, and we’re working together as a family; a win all around. - Liz

Always having a summer book going

I love having a juicy audiobook to keep me company throughout my day. Is there anything better than having interesting characters keep you company during the most mundane parts of your day? A few of my favorite listens so far this summer: One & Only, The Shampoo Effect, and The Wedding People. — Amelia

Our library reading challenge continues

It’s our third year participating in our local library’s summer reading challenge and it’s proving to be a success once again. We record how many minutes each boy reads on an app, with the goal being 100 minutes a week. When that is achieved, we head to the library and each boy gets to pick out a jibbitz (for their crocs or for a bracelet the library gives you).

My boys love a challenge, a competition of sorts. They love being able to see how many minutes they can accomplish each week, and then all summer long. It totally keeps books in hand and gives us all a focus, a goal for these wild dog days of summer. - Liz

Weekly date nights (bonus points if there’s live music!)

We have a wonderful new sitter (we actually met her in the ER!), so my husband and I have finally been making weekly date nights a thing.

Some Wednesdays we revisit favorite neighborhood spots, and other nights we mix it up. Two of my favorite dates so far have both included live music. One ended with a surprise saxophone ensemble playing as we walked home, and another involved seeing a concert in Cambridge with friends. Such a treat!

I’ve definitely been reminded how good live music is for the soul. — Amelia

Having a go-to, feel-good meal

I love summer food and will undoubtedly eat my weight in burgers, pasta salads, and ice cream from Memorial weekend through Labor Day. But having a couple slightly more elevated meals in my back packet, super tuned into the season and the produce available right now, makes our menus a bit extra special.

For us, we can’t ever eat enough tomatoes with burrata. On their own, drenched in balsamic and some honey. With ripped up crusty bread a la panzanella. Mixed up with angle hair pasta. Over grilled chicken as a delicious sauce.

My husband has quite the tomato bounty ready to explode in our garden, I’m grabbing endless bins of burrata and we’ll be digging in, juices running down our chins for the next several weeks. - Liz

Breezy outfits + easy makeup

I’m fully embracing the pull-on pants trend this summer and have been living in this striped Donni pair and popular linen J.Crew pair (thanks for the rec, Ariane!). I’ve been pairing the pants with two slightly shrunken short-sleeve tees: one from Reformation and one in classic J.Crew stripes (this color way feels especially fresh). I’m also enjoying adding a little whimsy to outfits with a fun hair clip, especially on those extra hot days.

As for makeup, I’m keeping it simple. I’ve been a longtime fan of the RMS Radiance Serum SPF, followed by a few swipes of Saie Bronzer, Rhode Pocket Blush on my cheeks + lips, and spritzes of my new favorite Ultra Violette sunscreen mist throughout the day. — Amelia

Embrace the hairy… mess?

I love the concept of air drying hair; I hate blow drying. But I have yet to achieve consistent good results when I don’t put heat to my hair. I’ve tried so many creams and methods and sometimes they’re OK, and sometimes I look like a poodle that was left out in the rain.

But I’ve kind of hit a wall this summer, I’m sick of giving myself a blow out every other day, and so I’m trying to embrace my hair for what it is, right now. Sometimes it’s a tangled frizzy mess from all angles, sometimes I just gotta slick it back in a tight bun and accept the fact that I look a bit bald from the front. Sometimes (oftentimes) ease wins out over aesthetics. - Liz

PS. My hunt for a fab air dry cream and approach hasn’t ended though! Send any and all recs my way, including… any way to preserve it for day two!?

And at the end of the day, we also remind ourselves, like everything else in parenting (and in life really), summer is just a season. For better and for worse, it too shall pass, and we will shift and move on. We will embrace the structure of school and routine come September, and then we will yearn, once again, for the hot sweaty summer days once they’re in the rearview.

Rose:

Amelia - With my daughter back home, our family dinners have their brightness again. We’ve been having fun finding little ways to make dinnertime feel more special (Liz and I will be sharing more about this next month!), and it’s been interesting to see which ideas have actually stuck. We’ve also tried a handful of easy recipes that have been a hit..I’ll be sure to share those too.

A second rose has been watching my daughter’s excitement over her theater camp this week. The group is performing Seussical next week, and she’s gotten so into her role. I can’t wait to watch the play and see all of their hard work come to life!

Liz - After a week of no-camp, my boys are back at their favorite pond-side paradise, having an absolute blast. I was able to have a dash of productivity (always makes me feel good!), the cooler temps lately have been lovely, and between dinners outside and lots of open windows, I’m soaking up the midway mark of summer.

Thorn:

Amelia - Thrilled to have my daughter home from camp.. I’m quickly learning that the re-entry period after can be a little rough for everyone.

Liz - Sibling bickering has hit a summer high. Does ANYTHING actually help curb this!?

Bud:

Amelia - Feeling so grateful that the cooler temps are sticking around through the weekend. Looking forward to a family pool party and getting out of the city for the day!

Liz - I’m seeing my sister, nieces and nephew next week, and am so, so excited :)

“I’d like to go to sleepaway camp this summer,” my then-seven-year-old announced on the sweaty walk home from day camp, as if the decision had already been made.

Looking back, she seemed ready long before I was. A year later, there we were at the camp bus stop: teary-eyed behind our sunglasses, our voices cheerful despite the lump in our throats, watching her board the bus to Maine.

The whole experience felt surreal. My stomach was in knots, my heart raced, and I felt dizzy as I hugged her goodbye. Then, just like that, she was gone—off on her own adventure. I spent the next three weeks riding every wave of emotion: pride in her willingness to try something new, missing her with my whole heart, relief from the pause in sibling squabbles, and excitement every time a letter arrived.

Her time away from us felt like it crawled by. Meanwhile, she was in Maine trying new things, making new friends, and stepping outside her comfort zone. She came home just a little more confident than when she left, with stories about the camp play and the new water sports she’d bravely decided to try.

She took the following summer off from sleepaway camp. Looking back, the first camp hadn’t been the right fit for her, and she was much more excited about local specialty camps. We loved having her close by and settled back into our summer routine. Before long, though, she was bringing up sleepaway camp again.

This time, we worked together to figure out what she was hoping to get out of her time away from home. We talked about the activities and traditions she was drawn to, the friendships she hoped to build, and what she’d enjoyed most about her first summer away. In the end, we landed on a different camp.

She wasn’t just excited to try sleepaway camp again—she was excited about this particular camp. It mirrored so much of what she loves about school: small, cozy, and intimate. We found a camp that felt more like her.

As the school year came to a close and the countdown to camp grew shorter, I could feel that familiar anxiety creeping back in. It wasn’t just the logistics that needed to be checked off before she headed to camp. I was preparing myself to let go once again. As we laid out her camp gear, I couldn’t help but notice her clothes were a few sizes bigger than the last time we’d done this.

She’d been preparing for camp all along. I just didn’t realize I was preparing, too.

I’ve learned to recognize the feeling that shows up when I want to control everything. I want to make sure she has exactly what she needs. That I’ve thought of everything. That nothing catches her off guard.

We learn so much more from the moments that ask us to improvise than the ones where everything is neatly laid out ahead of us. That’s how we discover we’re capable. That’s how resilience is built. I’m learning these lessons don’t just apply to my daughter. They apply to me, too.

Slowly but surely, my hands are opening and my grip is easing. So much of the early years of motherhood is spent teaching, protecting, and nurturing. Now, I’m beginning to see the roots taking hold. The seeds planted over the first decade are growing into something that no longer needs quite so much tending. My role is shifting—from guiding her every step to trusting that the roots we’ve nurtured together are strong enough to hold. All I can do is prepare her as best I know how, keep watering the seeds we’ve planted together over the years, and then learn to let her go, a little bit at a time.

Rose:

Amelia - We had a wonderful visit with my sister, soaking up more time with my little nephew. He’s growing so quickly, and we’re all thoroughly enjoying this extra special season. A close second was watching my son (who’s the youngest of the 10 grandchildren on my husband’s side) embrace his new role as an older cousin. His nurturing side has been on full display, and it makes me burst with pride!

Liz - I’m still beaming after an absolutely heart-warming weekend with my bf and her family (we had six kids ages nine and under in the house/in the pool!). We don't get to see each other as much as we’d like, but when we do, it’s as if no time has gone by. The kids adore each other, immediately falling into a natural rhythm and playing so well together. And as they get a bit older, we’re actually able to sit back, catch up and relax… a bit ha! (Amelia: Sounds heavenly!)

Thorn:

Amelia - My son and I had quite the travel adventure this past week…we woke up to a canceled flight, dealt with major delays, and even missed our connection. It definitely gave us a few stories to tell!

Liz - We’ve had some extra special and spicy sibling bickering lately that is absolutely driving me nuts.

Bud:

Amelia - Finally picking up our girl from sleepaway camp! Maybe I’ll write a follow-up about what these past two weeks have been like…Stay tuned!

Liz - The World Cup final is on Sunday, and oh what fun we’ve had these past few weeks getting into it all! We’re so excited to watch it wrap up; who will win!?!?

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Who else was obsessed with playing MASH when they were 12 years old!? Oh my goodness, I can flash back and perfectly remember my dream choices (mansion obviously, singer as a career, convertible without a doubt) and the anticipation and drama around those future predicting choices.

Now imagine if those all… came true. That’s what happens in The MASH Up, Laura Marie Meyer’s debut novel that was released this past Tuesday, July 7th. I was able to enjoy an early copy and I absolutely gobbled it up, giddy smile on my face the whole entire time.

But colorful and creative book aside, Laura’s journey and insight as a writer and as a mother of two boys is even more delightful. I stumbled upon Laura back in her Popsugar days, have loved watching her evolution, and am so thrilled to share it with you all today.

I’d be willing to bet you’ll be queueing up that *nsync playlist, digging out your old Lisa Frank folder, and putting pen to paper yourself before the end of the interview… that’s where you’ll find me the rest of the summer : )

Meet Laura Marie Meyers

IG: @lauramariemeyers

Substack: lauramarie.substack.com (Friendly Banter)

Website: www.lauramariemeyers.com

Children’s ages: Two boys, almost 10 and 7

Where do you call home? San Francisco Bay Area

How do you typically spend your weekdays? Shuffling between work and writing, my sons’ many practices and games, and trying to keep up with my to-do list.

Building a Creative Life

Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? What did the path to becoming an author actually look like for you?

Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but honestly, I wanted to be a lot of things! An actress, a news anchor, a journalist. That’s a huge part of why I love writing and reading fiction so much—the chance to live out different lives. It’s why I loved playing MASH when I was a kid, too. I loved imagining all kinds of futures for myself. (And my Barbies.)

I ended up getting a Communication’s degree, and after college, I got my Master’s in Creative Writing and Publishing because I knew I’d someday want to write a book. First, though, I got into journalism, and that proved to be a great way to build my writing muscle. So much of writing a novel is simply committing to the project.

I wrote my first fiction manuscript while I was on maternity leave with my second son. After my first pregnancy, I’d really wrestled with my identity and general anxiety, so with my second, I wanted a focus for my brain. And a reminder, maybe, that I was still me. Fortunately, my youngest was a great sleeper.

What made you want to shift from full-time digital media at Popsugar to full-time novel and fiction writing?

I likely would have stayed there (in digital media) longer had it not been for the pandemic. But when that hit, I was managing both the news, celebrity news, and entertainment verticals. And I had a six-month-old and a three-year-old at home full-time with me. So, you can imagine how that looked. I barely survived it for about six or seven months. And then it was too long.

So I decided to leave media and I just kind of shifted into this space where I was like, maybe now is the time that I give myself a couple years to take this (book writing) seriously and see if I want to actually try to do this. And that was when I kind of shifted gears…

You spent much of your career as a journalist, reporting on pop culture trends and news (at Popsugar). What has it been like stepping into this new world of fiction with your debut novel?

Pop culture and fiction are my two biggest obsessions, and I sort of feel like I’ve just tilted the scales. When I worked in media, I often covered fiction through a pop culture lens, and now I write fiction that’s deeply influenced by pop culture.

More than anything, I’m deeply grateful for all the habits that journalism instilled in me. I had to write multiple stories a day, so I never got to “wait” until I felt like writing, and I’ve carried that same attitude into drafting novels. On days when it’s not flowing, I still sit down and try, and even if the words I write won’t end up in the book, none of that time sitting with the story is truly wasted. Sometimes you have to circle an idea the wrong way (several times!) before you find your way in.

Also, thanks to years as an editor, I can feel when something’s not working, and I’m really not precious about anything. If something isn’t aligning in the story—a character, a plot point, an entire thread—I’m happy to change it.

As moms, so many of us are trying to hold onto our creative selves while also raising children. What has that balance looked like for you in this crazy season of life… realistically!

In a day-to-day sense, I’ve really had to let go of “ideal” working conditions. My creative brain loves silence and stillness, and in a perfect world, I’d have long, quiet stretches every day at my desk—and sometimes, I do! But oftentimes I’m writing in my Notes app while I sit in the bleachers during basketball practice, or I’m folding laundry while noodling over a scene I need to write, then frantically jotting ideas into my phone.

Overall, though, motherhood has deeply expanded and enriched my creativity, for a million reasons. I can get tunnel vision on a project, and my tendency is to hole up, but being a mom means I don’t really have that option. I have a lot of life outside my writing, and that’s been so good for my brain. There are parts of writing a book that really require stillness, but some of my favorite scenes have popped into my head while I was driving or packing lunches. I’m at my best, most creative self when I’m filling several different cups—not just the writing cup.

You say that motherhood has deeply expanded and enriched your creativity for a million reasons. I so agree. What about the other way around? Do you think being a creative and being a writer has impacted how you parent and who you are as a mother?

I love this question. And yes, absolutely. I think it goes back to the filling of your own cup, oxygen mask first sort of mentality, where I am simply a better version of myself when I’m writing or when I’m being creative. I can look back at all the times in my life, whether it was writing in a diary obsessively or writing fiction or writing short stories, when my brain has that thing to circle around, I’m able to sort of bring my best self everywhere else.

My brain’s going to circle around something, so it’s really nice if it’s circling around something creative and fun. Then I’m able to bring that excited energy, and that imagination that comes from there, it all definitely spills out into the energy I bring into a room.

Looking back now, what would you tell your younger self at the very beginning of this writing journey?

I’ve always been a perfectionist, and the fear of failure—or not being good at something—has stopped me from trying a lot of things. For a long time, it kept me from putting pen to paper. I had all these story ideas in my head, and sometimes I’d write outlines or the first few chapters, but inevitably, those first words on the page wouldn’t match the story in my brain. They never do! Writing really is in the revision.

I’d tell my younger self to loosen up, let go, and write through the fear. To lean into the fun, because that’s what matters. Even now, I have a Post It on my computer that says “Play on the page.”

On The MASH Up

For those who are not familiar with the plot, can you give us the basic pitch for The MASH Up?

Quick elevator pitch that Ruby is a 35-year-old very type A, very risk-averse accountant who’s lived her whole life by the rules. And then on her 35th birthday, she’s has a very surprising breakup, which isn’t a spoiler - it’s right on the back of the book! It prompts her to really think about who she used to be, how she thought her life would look, and how it looks now. And she makes this wish, wondering how things could have been if a few things had gone differently.

Cut to her waking up inside a middle school MASH game come to life, where she realizes that it’s very possible that her only way out of the game and back to reality is to win over her brother’s best friend who, of course, is her lifelong enemy.

Where did the spark for this whole idea catch fire? How did it evolve?

I’ve had a lot of the same friends since birth, and we would play MASH at sleepovers all the time. One of those friends would often say that she wanted to be a roller skating waitress, and that was a career that made it into several MASH games over the years.

Then, of course, as an adult she got her MBA and was working in business. But I kept thinking about that, I was thinking about the difference between who we think we’re going to be when we’re kids and who we become as adults and what that gap can look like, and how for some of us, that gap is wider than others, why that is, how that feels, and the pieces of ourselves that we keep and let go of. Also, I’m obsessed with all those movies that are waking up in another world. I grew up on The Wizard of Oz, Big and 13 Going on 30. So that’s definitely the lens that I saw this story through.

It’s obvious you have a passion for nostalgia and the pop culture of our youth. Tell me about that passion of yours and how you decided to add it into the book.

So I’ve always been an intensely sentimental and nostalgic person. And I’m also obsessed with pop culture. So, I think the combination of those two qualities that I’ve got really adds to a lot. I was somebody who voraciously read teen magazines, I watched every show. There’s not a Disney original movie that I didn’t love. I think that there’s something about the shared language of that that really appeals to me. As I said, I’ve had the same friends forever. My love language is shared memories, shared language, inside jokes.

To me, millennial nostalgia is just a generational inside joke, to be honest. But I’ve always been obsessed with that time and looking back and the humor of it all.

Did you have to do any research or was it all in your head?

It was all in my head. There was no research. It was life.

When people are done reading the book and are craving more of that kind of fun nostalgia flashback, what recommendations would you give for other books?

I’m really excited, there’s actually another book releasing on the same day, on July 7th. It’s called Every Version of You by Natalie Messier and it’s so much fun. It’s about this woman who gets sort of a second chance in life and time travels back to being 18. So she’s back in college with some of the same people that she’s friends with as an adult. And so you get kind of that same nostalgia energy of being immersed in.

Last, but not least: what’s upcoming in the next few months as the book launches?

I’ll be on book tour for a couple weeks, which I’m very excited about, and in the meantime, I am on deadline for book two. I’ve been working on that for the last few months and I’m continuing to work on that. It is a weird thing where I’m mentally in a different story while this one’s coming out to the world, but I can say it’s another feel-good speculative romantic comedy. (Liz: Can I pre-order it now!?)

Rapid Fire

Paint us a picture of your ideal writing setup. Early morning, open window, quiet, and an entire lineup of beverages on the desk. Water, hot coffee, iced matcha.

Early morning writing or late night writing? Early morning! My brain doesn’t function at night.

Coffee shop writing or cozy at home writing? Both! I do the bulk of my writing at home, but when I’m stuck or when I can sense myself getting restless, I’ll spend a couple hours at a coffee shop. Or sitting by the water!

What book is currently sitting on your nightstand? The Missed Connection by Tia Williams. I absolutely love her.

What book would you share with a friend stuck in a reading rut? Bad Words by Rioghnach Robinson, which comes out in October. I devoured an advance copy in two days, then immediately reread it. I’ve never done that before!

A favorite creative and/or self-care ritual? Morning walks with friends and long walks on the water by myself.

And lastly, how do you share your joy for reading with your boys? What’s their favorite books (as a fellow boy mom here!)? Oh, I love this question! I’m a big fan of library dates, I like to have books with us pretty much at all times, and we really make a point to read together every night. My oldest loves Big Nate, The Academy series, everything by Roald Dahl, and Dragon Masters. My younger son has made Dog Man his entire personality, but he also loves the What Would Danny Do choose-your-own adventure books, anything about animals, and The 13-Story Treehouse books.

*This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

Thank you Laura, so much for your time, and letting us peek into your wonderful, creative, and wildly colorful world. As someone who had a career in digital media for a little while, but then has had to shift a lot because of pandemics, babies and more, I really relate. I’m currently finding my footing, and hearing and learning about your journey is so incredibly inspiring and invigorating.

You can find Laura on Instagram at @lauramariemeyers , on Substack at Friendly Banter, and The MASH Up is available NOW!

Rose:

Amelia - We grabbed dinner and caught the Tiny Desk Contest concert in Cambridge earlier this week and had an absolute blast! I can’t remember the last time I was out on a Tuesday until 11 pm. The music was incredible, and it’s always so inspiring to watch artists doing what they love and being celebrated for it.

Another top Rose was seeing the smiling photos of my daughter at camp. It’s hard to let her go, but seeing her thriving makes it just a little bit easier.

Liz - It feels like we’re getting into the summer groove and it feels good. We’ve had a couple weeks of camps, tons of swimming, and we’re still obsessed with the World Cup games (despite tears shed for Team USA). The grill is on nonstop with endless summer foods and the sun is shining but it’s not 100 degrees. I’ll take all of this, no complaints.

Thorn:

Amelia - We’re missing our daughter while she’s away at sleepaway camp these next few weeks. It’s bittersweet watching her do her thing out in the world, but we’re also so excited for her..

Liz - Maybe it’s the warmer temps and hours of swimming, maybe it’s the later bedtimes watching intense soccer games, maybe all of the above. But we’ve all been zonked out and exhausted, struggling to get up and going most mornings.

Bud:

Amelia - I’m taking my very first mama / son trip today and heading to South Carolina to visit my parents, my sister, and her family. I’m ready for baby snuggles and lots of family time!

Liz - We have a special weekend ahead, with some of my favorite people from college and their families, visiting for our annual summer pool party. Swimming, endless snacks, cocktails, and chaos ahead - and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just like that, summer is officially here, we’re in it! And while we have the whole glorious season ahead of us, we’re also wildly aware that it’ll fly by in the blink of an eye. So let’s get to the good stuff right away, and our summer bucket lists are helping us focus on what exactly our good stuff is. From cold salad recipes that easily feed the whole family to books to read beach/poolside, we’re excited to dive right in.

And the icing on the (ice cream sandwich) cake? Some fabulous moms in our community are sharing items from their own summer bucket lists as well.

Slap on the sunscreen, pour the sparkly sips, and let’s savor this season :)

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Liz: Keep the wonderful reading vibes flowing. I’ve read some absolute gems lately and I’m eager to keep this good streak going. I just finished the most fun summer treat of a book (stay tuned for a fabulous chat with the author coming soon!), and on the horizon, I’m looking forward to cracking open Our Perfect Storm for my yearly Carley Fortune hit, The Burning Side for some solid family drama, and The Lowe Job for a cheeky exploration of scandal and fame, in between pool splashes and mock/cocktail sips.

Return to read-alouds! I’m also about to start reading Harriet the Spy with my oldest aloud and to say I’m excited is an understatement. That book had such a lasting, monumental impact on my own childhood and can’t wait to re-explore it.

Amelia: Keep building my little library in our glossy blue living room. I’m a bit of a book hoarder, so I’ve been slowly working through my towering stacks, deciding which books have earned a permanent place on my shelves.

To make the library feel even more like my own, I’m planning to continue leaving little reviews inside each book. I recently ordered the sweetest book review notepad and I’ve got these cute little stickers on the way to my house to stick next to each review. I love the idea of lending books to friends and having them add their own thoughts too—a little shared reading history tucked inside the cover!

Liz: Embrace the football life. My immersion into becoming a sports mom continues… we’re totally loving watching the World Cup games in our house! It’s brought such a fun sense of camaraderie and mutual passion to us all and I’m thrilled that it’ll continue into July. We’ve found such joy in learning about certain players and teams, and getting caught up in all the excitement - go USA, and go Erling Haaland, a particular favorite of our fam!

Amelia: Plan a few cozy book-to-movie nights. My kids get a kick out of seeing the characters from their favorite books come to life on screen and I love getting to experience those stories all over again with them. Our family favorites: The Wild Robot, Flora & Ulysses, and My Father’s Dragon.

I’m hoping we’ll add a few more adaptations to our list: Because of Winn-Dixie (this book was a huge hit with my kids!), Charlotte’s Web (a true classic), Ramona and Beezus (a series I loved growing up), The One and Only Ivan (my daughter adored this whole series).

Liz: Feeling all the musical feels. Dare I say I’m in my angry teen girl era? Olivia Rodrigo’s new album has me bopping nonstop, and of course, Noah Kahn is my go-to for some solid sad summer vibes (I’m still devastated to not have tickets to his Fenway shows).

I’m also excited to put together a little “Boys’ Playlist” on Spotify for all their favorite tunes, so we can easily listen all summer, as well as years from now, traveling back in time to our dance parties and sing-alongs. It’ll be an eclectic mix for sure (think Watermelon Sugar and Opalite, followed by Imagine Dragons’ Thunder, and a dash of PG-rated rap because yes, we’ve entered the tween rap fascination phase).

Amelia: Keep a great audiobook queued up. I’ve been devouring audiobooks on Libro.fm (a cool new-to-me app that lets you buy audiobooks through your local bookstore) and it’s made walks, car rides, and even tasks around the house so much more enjoyable. I’m currently listening to One & Only, about a woman whose family runs a Korean matchmaking agency with a 100% success rate—for everyone except her. Perfect summer read!

Liz: Cold salads til October. Oh, how I love pasta salad!! I’ve already whipped up my go-to combination more than once but it quickly dawned on me that I need to switch up said combo. I’m looking forward to trying some new creative pasta salad arrangements thanks to this resource, and want to add a few delicious and easy grain salads to my repertoire as well. I love having a bowl of a non-lettuce salad chilled and ready to eat throughout summer days (for lunch, dinner, and sneaky snacks in between).

My sweet summertime staple. My scarily easy ice cream sandwich cake, topped with colorful sprinkles will be on repeat all season long. It’s a guaranteed crowd pleaser and I plan to make it for any and every gathering (because there are never leftovers; we always lick the pan clean).

Amelia: Master a few go-to summer *side dishes*. Every time I open the fridge and find one ready to go for a quick lunch, I exhale a sigh of relief. Side dishes are also the perfect thing to pair with grilled shrimp, fish, or chicken for an easy, last-minute dinner. We’ve made plenty of pasta salads and fruit salads over the years, but this summer I’m hoping to branch out and add a few new favorites to the rotation.

Make mussels at home for the first time. My husband, daughter, and I are all huge fans of mussels and I think it would be great to learn how to cook them together. I’ve heard they’re surprisingly simple and pretty foolproof!

Liz: Explore our figurative and literal backyards. Since our big family trip isn’t to Maine this year (we’re switching it up and heading to Lake Placid - any recs, send my way!), I plan to fit in a couple day trips to my beloved Kennebunkport. I can’t fathom a summer without filling my Mother’s Beach cup.

In addition to Maine, I’d love to explore the beauty of where we live here in New England, from coastal Newburyport to downtown Boston fun, when crowds tend to lessen and we can really soak up the magic of where we live.

And even more local and close to home… I’m determined to walk, walk, walk all over my neighborhood all summer! One of my goals for 2026 was movement, and while it’s a bit trickier to fit in my pilates with the ever-changing summer schedule, I’m optimistic about still getting my steps in as much as possible.

Start fiddling with fiction. While writing is nothing new for me, I’m curious and eager to spread my writing wings into the fiction front these next few months. While summer can be tricky in terms of productivity, I’m hoping to keep my creativity flowing via journaling, jotting notes, scenes, ideas etc, any way I can. No doubt I have plenty of beautiful empty notebooks ready to be used (iykyk) :)

Amelia: Host a “Blind Date with a Book” stand. Last summer my kids loved running lemonade stands, and this year I thought it would be fun to put a literary twist on the idea. After cleaning out our bookshelves this spring, we still have plenty of children’s books to share. I’d love to wrap a dozen in kraft paper, have my kids write little clues about who might enjoy each one and spend an afternoon outside selling the books.

Stretch the day with an evening picnic. We had a simple picnic at the park on the last full day of school, and it reminded me how magical summer evenings can be. I’m hoping we’ll squeeze in a few more outdoor dinners and soak up as many late sunsets as we can.

Try one page of Morning Pages. I’ve been curious about The Artist’s Way for years, but the idea of writing three pages every morning has always felt intimidating. This summer, I’m giving myself permission to start with just one page. I find the smallest version of a habit is the one that actually sticks.

Liz: Seek out today’s joy. Corny but true, I just want to savor the ages and stages of my boys right here, right now today (5, 7, and 9 are freaking awesome). While no doubt some things are tougher, other things are so much easier. In that spirit, I want to breathe in and out, and enjoy this season, in the simplest of senses, a summer afternoon at our pool, all three of my boys swimming, splashing, playing.

Fall will be here before we know it, and with that, school, sports, and stricter schedules, but until then, let’s be here in summer’s brilliance for a bit more.

And let’s be real, we better savor the sweetness of summer and even it’s blistering heat, because let us not fool ourselves and forget the freezing temps of January.

Amelia: Search for special seashells. I’ve loved collecting shells ever since I was a little girl, and I’m hoping to spend more time wandering the beaches in Maine when the tide is low and the shoreline feels full of little treasures. I’ll bring a few home to paint, string onto a cord to wear as a necklace, or display in little bowls by my bathroom sink, on my bedside table, or on my new desk.

Start my Joy Wall. This project has been in the back of my mind for years, and this feels like the summer to begin. I plan to start with a bin of Polaroids from birthdays, holidays, and special occasions, then slowly add framed photos and maybe even my kids artwork.

I'm determined to build my own little free library this summer! As a big reader, I've been thinking about it for years, and have been gathering paint swatches, collecting loads of my favorite books from thrift shops, and dreaming up special touches like shelf talkers and handmade bookmarks. It's more than a project at this point—it's a creative outlet and a way to connect with my community around something I love: reading! - Christy of Worth Mentioning, mom of 2

I know everyone’s goal is to have a 90s laidback summer but I got an Oura ring about a year ago, and it confirmed what I already knew: I have zero chill. I’m most comfortable with scheduled fun, and having strong systems in place helps me relax a bit.

Before I can really relax and start churning my own ice cream, I need to get our closets organized. My kids went from refusing to get on the field to year round soccer players. I’m working on an organization system so I don’t have to borrow someone else’s jersey for the entire season - tysm Liz - and so we can find things and get out of the house quickly and calmly. We (my sister) installed this great Elfa desk/shelving system in my kids’ room and it’s a disaster. I’m planning to spend a day organizing with the girls, enlisting the help of a friend/sitter to help them purge, and getting our lives together. There’s a bit of rain in the forecast so I figure we can spend a bit of time doing this and then chill and go see Toy Story 5! - Hannah, school administrator, mom of 2 girls

On the top of my summer bucket list is to "say yes more" for both my kids and for me. For my kids, saying yes to ice cream at the pool, late bedtimes, spontaneous adventures, and one more trip to the playground. For myself, saying yes to hobbies that I've let slide, more time in the garden, movement that feels good, and trying out new recipes in the kitchen. - Suzy, 3rd grade teacher, mom of 3

Our summer bucket list includes a trip we’ve been planning for almost a year. We wanted to celebrate the end of school together, and the end of my busy work season as a wedding planner.

We planned a 10 day trip across California, stopping in Los Angeles, Disneyland, Palm Springs and ending in Laguna Beach. We really just wanted two weeks of uninterrupted family time, epic hotel sleepovers, seeing the desert for the first time, and touching the Pacific Ocean. And a trip for them to remember forever! - Beth, wedding planner, mom of 3

I want to lean into evening walks in the neighborhood, bike rides to camp, movie nights, and lots of baking for friends and neighbors. Summer would not be complete without plenty of summer reading! I’ve joined MANY Substack Summer Reading challenges (Jenna O’Brien, Elle Reads Library Books, Kearstin | Among Friends) and I hope to repeat a tradition I started last summer - a solo night away - just me and a good book! — Kelly, mom of 2 boys

This summer is all about slowing down and savoring the sweetest firsts with my first baby: his first visit to Maine, first time dipping his toes in the ocean, and maybe even his first bites by August! — Caroline, mom of a son

The top priority on my summer bucket list: spend as much time outside as possible. We just bought a home, so it’ll be my first summer in years with a backyard. I want my feet in the grass, dirt on my shorts, sun on my face, phone left facedown on the counter inside! — Alex, mom of a daughter

Rose:

Amelia - I shared this sentiment in a Substack Note earlier this week and it’s rang true as my Rose of the week:

There are few things I love more as a mom than watching my kids become themselves. This morning I dropped my son off at basketball camp and my daughter off at art camp. As I watched them run toward the things they love, I had one of those parenting moments where time seemed to stand still. These little people are becoming their own people. They’re finding their interests, building confidence, making friends, and carving out their own place in this big world. It’s such a privilege to watch.

Liz - My oldest had basketball camp this week and it’s been so much fun to watch him thrive in this environment… and then it’s been “Mommy Camp” for my two younger boys ha! We’ve had a great week though, with arts-n-crafts, little outings, and just chilling at home. Let’s not ever forget the glory of simple days playing at home, a simple, but lovely, rose indeed.

Thorn:

Amelia - I always feel pulled in a million directions during the summer. I want to enjoy the slower pace, lean into the creative energy I’m feeling, and be present with the kids. Lately, I’ve been using the time to and from camp (and our afternoons together) to create little pockets of connection. Whether it’s a walk through the park after dinner or a family game night, those touch points mean so much to me.

Liz - The reality of summer is hitting but really trying to keep expectations low, and put some structure in place…. before we all go off the walls…

Bud:

Amelia - I’m excited that we’ll be joining friends for some volunteer work tomorrow. I’m hoping it becomes a regular activity for us as a family. We’re also soaking in some uninterrupted family time as my daughter gets ready to head off to sleep away camp in just over a week (more on that soon…).

Liz - Dare I say, we have a calm weekend ahead?! We’ll probably watch some World Cup games, order in some sushi, swim and I’m so here for it.

I’ve (Amelia) followed Leah on social media for years, so I was especially excited to chat with her earlier this week to talk about all things motherhood, friendship, and the many hats she wears in her daily life. She’s built a career around something she does exceptionally well: creating community and connecting people.

Liz and I kicked off 2026 by joining one of Leah’s virtual vision board workshops. I still have my vision board set as the background on my laptop and think about that session often. Leah has a gift for helping people pause, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most.

I found myself nodding along throughout our conversation, and I have a feeling many of Leah’s words will resonate with you too. Enjoy!

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Meet Leah

Instagram: @leahwisemanfink

Substack: Party Cut

Children’s names + ages: Sammy (age: 13) and Sydney (age: 8.5)

Where do you call home? We live in Williamsburg.

How do you typically spend your weekdays?

I usually start my day by dropping my kids off at school and then fitting in a workout. After that, my workday is a combo of in-person meetings, virtual meetings, coaching clients, and running Spark Society. Depending on the week, I might also attend an event or two.

My kids are in after-school until around 5 pm, and then sometimes I’m on Hebrew school duty. I try to be home for dinner at least three nights a week, but I’m also a bit of a social butterfly, so there are often events or plans mixed in.

Season of Motherhood

What season of motherhood are you in right now?

As of last week, I officially entered the teenage years, which feels kind of crazy. So currently, I’m parenting both a teenager and an elementary schooler. It has absolutely flown by.

I’m a pretty sentimental mom. I was the one crying every time a box of outgrown baby clothes got packed away. I still remember sobbing at my son’s 2s class graduation—and it wasn’t even his preschool graduation, it was just the class moving up. That’s when I realized: I am screwed!

At the same time, I really do believe that every phase is fun in its own way. My 13 year old is such a blast to be around. He’s funny, he has cool interests, and he and his dad love watching old ’80s movies together. And my 8 year old is my little sidekick. We love bopping around town together and having adventures.

For those of us with younger kids, what do we have to look forward to in the tween and teen years?

As they get older, you really start to see who they are. They might drop interests they were obsessed with as little kids and then suddenly become passionate about something completely unexpected.

Or an early interest can come back around in a new way. My son Sammy was obsessed with trains when he was little. Then it disappeared for a while. Now he’s back into trains again—this time collecting model trains. It’s fascinating to watch those interests evolve over time.

There are also practical milestones that feel like total game changers. I still remember the first trip where the kids carried their own luggage through the airport. I thought, “Oh wow, we’ve unlocked a new level.” They can manage their own stuff and go on flights without us having to pack a big bag for them.

Another big one is that we’re able to leave them home alone now. We can go down the street for dinner and feel totally comfortable. Our oldest is responsible, our kids get along well, and it just works. It’s one of those things you don’t realize you’ll appreciate so much until you get there.

What feels most challenging about this season?

I think one of the biggest challenges is navigating hormones and puberty. The research shows that puberty is starting earlier than it used to, so instead of these changes beginning at 12 or 13, a lot of kids are experiencing them at 9 or 10. It’s one of those parts of parenting that can catch you by surprise.

The other challenge is watching them navigate friendships and social dynamics. Late elementary school and early middle school can be complicated: friend groups form, someone gets left out, feelings get hurt, crushes start to happen. As a parent, you’re watching your child go through things that are completely normal, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easy.

Thirteen years into motherhood, what wisdom are you carrying with you now?

One thing I’ve learned over these 13 years is that whenever you think you’ve got it figured out, the season changes. You figure out sleep, and then you’re on to a new challenge. It’s a roller coaster.

Because of that, I’ve learned to soak it up as much as possible. As a sentimental mom who doesn’t want the years to pass, that’s really the only thing I can do. I can lie in the park with my kids. I can have do-nothing days and just be present with them.

Friendship + Community

You’ve built such a beautiful community around you. Where do you think your love of gathering and connecting people comes from?

I would say it started with my big, strong, loving family in Michigan. Growing up, we were always together. We’d have Sunday brunch every week, or we’d all show up to someone’s soccer game and there would be 20 family members in the stands cheering on one kid. The value of community was definitely instilled in me from a young age.

As I got older and started building my own life, especially after becoming a mom, I found myself wanting to recreate that village in Brooklyn. I’ve always been someone who naturally gathers people. When Sammy was born, a group of us would gather every Friday night with our babies, share a glass of wine, eat pizza, and just be together.

Many women are craving deeper friendships but aren’t quite sure where to start. What are three things you’ve learned about building a village as an adult?

First, be willing to make the first move.

Friendship is a lot like dating. At some point, you have to be willing to invite someone for coffee, pick up the phone, or ask someone to dinner. The important thing is initiating the next step.

And the reality is that it won’t click with everyone. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Is this my person? Is this my small group?” and keep putting yourself out there until you find the right fit.

Second, remember that you don’t need a huge circle.

I always remind people that you don’t need ten close friends. You really only need a handful. When you think about it that way, it feels a lot less overwhelming.

The other thing I’ve learned is that the looser grip you hold onto friendships, the better it works. If a close friendship is shifting, trusting that it will come back around if it’s meant to—or being okay if it doesn’t—makes friendship a lot easier.

You can’t hang on to what it once was. Sometimes close friendships come back around, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they’re replaced by something else.

And third, if you want a village, you have to be a villager.

You have to be willing to answer the 3 a.m. phone call if you want someone to answer yours. Relationships require showing up, even when it’s not always convenient.

Sometimes you’re tired. Sometimes it’s raining. Sometimes you’d rather stay home. And occasionally that’s exactly what you need. But a lot of the time, the very thing you’re tempted to cancel is the thing that ends up filling your cup once you’re there.

What does a sustainable village look like for you?

What I’ve learned is that sustainability isn’t about giving more—it’s about being willing to receive. I have to let people help me. I have to be able to say no sometimes.

Building a Life You Love

After years in education, you found yourself starting over professionally. What was that season like for you?

One thing that’s important to mention is that my husband, Johnny, made a big career pivot before I did. He had spent his entire career in banking and then started a pizzeria on the side. When everything was happening with Lehman Brothers, he was forced to figure out what came next.

Watching him reinvent himself planted a seed for me. It showed me that people can build a successful second act and create something completely different.

Then, when it came time for me to make a change—especially after being pushed out of my job while on maternity leave—I didn’t really feel like I had much of a choice. It was, “Okay, what do I do now?”

What I realized was that I wasn’t starting from scratch. My first pivot was into coaching, and so much of what I had learned through school leadership translated directly into that work. Obviously, I got additional training, but the foundation was already there.

It was definitely a leap of faith, but watching my husband go first made it easier for me to believe I could do it, too.

You started Spark Society about a year and a half ago. Tell us about it and the inspiration behind it.

I think of Spark Society as the crossroads between social and professional life.

I love the idea of friendship-forward networking. People might meet at one of our co-working events, a happy hour, or on a retreat, and end up building genuine friendships. At the same time, they’re referring one another, collaborating, and supporting each other’s work.

Spark Society was one of those ideas that kept pulling me back. Eventually, I realized I needed to see where it could go!

(For readers outside of NYC, The Spark Society is launching a digital membership. Join the waitlist!)

What does success mean to you now that might have surprised your younger self?

I don’t know if my younger self would have predicted that I’d become such an entrepreneur.

But when I think about success now, having a happy family is number one. Raising happy, confident, kind children feels like the biggest success of all. I always tell my kids, “You don’t have to be smart or cool or rich. At the end of the day, what matters most to me is whether you’re a good person.”

At the same time, I think she’d be surprised by my work life. I never imagined I’d have several successful businesses. Between the pizzerias, my coaching business, and Spark Society, I’ve built a career with several different branches, and I love the puzzle of balancing and growing them all.

Leah, thank you for sharing your perspective on motherhood, friendship, and what it means to show up for the people who matter most to us. We loved your reminder that if you want a village, you have to be a villager—and that some of the strongest communities are built one Friday night pizza gathering at a time!

You can find Leah on Instagram at @leahwisemanfink and on Substack at Party Cut.

Rose:

Amelia - A small bouquet of roses from this week: a friend dropping off peonies as a surprise gift, gorgeous weather and evening walks, a picnic dinner with the kids, finishing Whistler and then devouring Sandwich, and cheering on a friend at his author talk.

Liz - My older boys finished up the school year and I teared up as they jumped from the bus on the last day, another wonderful year in the rearview. Add in those emotions and an almost two week solo parenting stretch, and I was feeling all the feels (good and bad ha!), but the one that stood out this week was gratitude. Gratitude for all those amazing neighbors and friends who step up when my husband has to step out. It’s the little things; from offering to grab items at the grocery store or drop off dinner, to little check-in’s, cheering me on, or grilling out dinner for me and the boys. I feel really lucky to have this village, a massive rose indeed.

Thorn:

Amelia - Maine chewed us up and spit us out this past weekend. My daughter got her first jellyfish sting and I got my first case of poison ivy. Yikes.

Liz - It’s been a long solo parenting stretch and I’m tired in every single sense.

Bud:

Amelia - Every seven years, our wedding anniversary and Father’s Day happen on the same day and it makes for a fun, extra celebratory weekend. I’m looking forward to showering Mike with love and celebrating 12 years of us!

Liz - Daddy is home and we can’t wait to reunite, chill out, catch up, and celebrate him this weekend (and oh my gosh, am I happy to have my partner in everything back)!

Happy Father’s Day to all father figures,

especially our husbands and our own dads, Greenie and Pop Pop.

You are all so appreciated and so deeply loved xo

I have a love-hate relationship with summer.

Don’t all moms?

On one hand, I absolutely gobble up all the “give your kids a classic 90’s summer!” vibes. I welcome endless sunny days and popsicles with wide open arms. I envision my three boys, laughing gleefully as they splash in the pool, lounge in the shade with a book, and devour a dinner filled with summer’s bounty.

But then, when I look out the other window, I hear lots and lots and lots of screaming and whining. It’s pretty much nonstop.

“He splashed me in the eye!!”

“He cheated in the Nerf gun fight!!”

“It’s TOO hot out!”

“The ice cream truck is here! Can we get it again!?”

“I’m bored!”

I see days that start early and end late. I see little routine and lots of corralling my boys away from Daddy on a Zoom call in the other room. I see my to-do list never getting touched, freelance pitches never getting sent out, and so much stinky sweat at the end of the day.

And then I see - and feel - the guilt for not enjoying “one of only 18 summers I have with them”.

These opposing views, and approaches, to summer have always rubbed me the wrong way. You either gotta be the mom that soaks it all up, or you embrace the role of the mom that hatesssss summer, praying for September to hurry up.

There’s no in-between. There feels like no other option.

But that’s just not gonna fly in my house this year.

As summer has approached, I’ve felt those conflicting emotions slowly start to rise up. They’re there, beneath the chaos of Maycember, underneath the never-ending to-do list of school activities, field days, and spirit weeks, of sports practices and rescheduled games, of all the teacher thank you notes I so badly want to get out the door (because teachers are freakin’ amazing and I want them to know that).

But I’ve started to try to listen in on the feelings, and even more so, what they’re telling me they mean, what is needed.

What my boys need this summer, what I need, what our whole family needs in the upcoming months. Need, not want, two very different things.

We need a summer that rejuvenates us, that lets us go a bit wild… but also has edges, has routine, and yes, has rules.

When I envision the summer that makes me - and ultimately all of us - happy, I see one that has guidance, that has structure. Because I believe that having some structure in place is what gives us the most freedom in the long run. When my boys know what is and isn’t OK, what is and isn’t expected, then we can relax more. Boundaries are clear and while, of course they’ll have to be reinforced (over and over again), the hope is that over time, there’s less pushback, less struggle, less whining (ahhh, can you imagine!?).

More confidence in our days. And more confidence leads to less stress, less overwhelm.

I see a summer that allows all of us to reach our individual needs; the boys to feel that wild abandon that summer encapsulates, to live in swim trunks from sun up to sun down, to swim and fish and play capture the flag a bit too late into the night. I see a summer that allows my husband to fully take advantage of his work from home situation, squeezing in a pool dip and working from the patio on quieter days. I see his garden blooming and so many (freshly grown) tomato and mozzarella salads.

And I see a summer for myself that enables some productivity, professionally and personally, because for better or for worse, I need that accomplishment. With a freelance career that survives only on my hustle, I accept that my summer slows it down, and yes, that is an absolute privilege in and of itself. But it comes with trade-offs galore, and I hope to still use this summer as a opportunity for creativity to grow.

I’d also love to actually read outside, a summer hallucination of yore.

So what does all this actually mean? Like in real life day-to-day terms? Writing down goals, projects, to-do’s on paper helps me visualize and implement way better than just letting all of it swirl around in my head. And my boys are the same; when given a literal task sheet, broken down into mini to-do’s to cross off, they thrive. It’s a challenge, it’s a game!

And so, I plan to give them their daily and weekly summer responsibilities in writing up front, to provide a structure in print to guide us. It’s nothing revolutionary by any means, go online and you can find a million charts to download. We’ll have a family meeting and review it all. Bring them into the planning, make them a part of the process.

We’ll have that, and we’ll have clear pool and summer rules that will be written on large poster boards, for easy reference and easy reminders. We’ll have a house set up for success, books and card games will be brought out for easier access, and screen time rules will be created and maintained. We own an overabundance of toys and crafts and I’m determined to keep them tidy and in view for any and all boredom calls.

Boredom will happen and it’s good for us all. That’s when the creativity takes off. So bring on the Legos and MagnaTiles, the stacks of construction paper and paints.

Bring on the mess this summer in this sense.

I’m still working out the specific structure, the timing of our days. I still need to work through some of the nitty-gritty, but maybe it’s in the nitty-gritty finer details that the summer flexibility comes in, less exact timing and specificity, more overall responsibilities and expectations made clear.

When Labor Day weekend rolls around, I want to look back with fondness at a summer that hit the high points and didn’t drain me to completion. I want to enjoy these special sweaty months with my boys AND I want to not feel like I’ve fallen down a hole unable to recover until school starts up again.

This isn’t a mind-blowing concept, but putting it out there is the first step to making a shift, a change. Half the battle (probably even more honestly) is in simply being aware and stating what you want, instead of just going along with the status quo and hoping something is different this time around. A reframe of sorts, both mentally and logistically.

I won’t be proclaiming that it’ll be pure magic from June through August, but I also don’t want to spend my whole summer complaining.

The cliches of “only 18 summers together” are annoying, there’s no doubt about it. But they also kinda hit. I’m loving the ages of my boys right now, 5, 7 and 9, and want to soak up this season, literally and figuratively.

So yes, our summer ahead will have rules and responsibilities and reading goals. We’re going to eat ice cream AND fruit and veggies, and we’ll make our beds before we cannonball into the pool. We’ll have bedtime routines and we’ll stick to them for the most part (because the only thing worse than a tired kiddo is an extremely overheated sweaty tired kiddo). Mom is going to actually read some pages poolside, and she’s even going to plan a few spontaneous adventures for her crew too.

Who else wants to meet me here? In a fresh space where summer shines and sweats and stinks and so do we. Where days are long and never-ending, but darn it, childhood isn’t. I have a ton of juice boxes and Jonny Pops ready, I’ll see you soon.

Rose:

Amelia - I’m still so overjoyed from celebrating my daughter’s 10th birthday this past weekend. Her party was such a sweet reminder of this age and stage. As much as I want time to slow down, I’m also loving exactly where we are.

Liz - Last week was really rough for our family so it’s been really lovely to find and hold onto any and all bright spots this week. From finishing Yesteryear (LOVED IT) and starting a new fab and fun book, to a garden party for our school’s PTO where I was able to create and bring home a gorgeous bouquet, it’s these little simple moments that felt extra good after a tough week.

Thorn:

Amelia - Two things can be true: we’re thrilled it’s summer break and we could all use a little structure.

Liz - Norovirus has lingered (so much laundry, so many Clorox wipes) and add in one of the most hectic, crazy times of the year and I’m overwhelmed and still so incredibly drained to say the least.

Bud:

Amelia - We’re hoping to escape to Maine for a few days as the weather warms up. Looking forward to fresh seafood, finishing up Whistler under a beach umbrella, and letting the kids run free.

Liz - Spring sports are wrapping up and we have a quieter weekend ahead. Looking forward to some swimming, World Cup watching, and trying to catch up on sleep for all. Also… I’ve jumped on the Off Campus bandwagon and am halfway through the episodes so I have that deliciousness to enjoy too ;)

My daughter turns 10 this weekend and, in classic Amelia fashion, I can’t help but feel all the feels! One of my favorite things is when friends text me on my kids’ birthdays not just to celebrate them, but to acknowledge the day I gave birth. It’s such a sweet gesture.

Nearly 10 years ago, my daughter made me a mom. As we head into this milestone birthday weekend, I’ve been reflecting on all of it: the lessons, surprises, joys, and growing pains of the last decade. And I thought it would be fun to share some of it with you!

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Boundaries are your best friend.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn in the early years, but I’m getting better at it as my kids get older. My job isn’t to keep my kids happy all the time. It’s to keep them safe, help them grow, and support them as they learn to manage their emotions.

Lean into their interests.

One of my favorite ways to show love to my kids is to really get to know who they are. To stay curious about them. To share in their passions, even when they’re not naturally my own.

Love your kids out loud.

I got this advice when my daughter was in preschool and I’ve been practicing it ever since: brag about your kids in front of them. My kids light up when they overhear me saying good things about them. Your voice becomes their inner voice, so use it for good.

Be a plant.

My daughter recently summed it up perfectly: “Be a plant.” Another lesson that’s taken me years to learn, but one I’m slowly getting better at. Less empathizing, less problem-solving, honestly less talking in general, and more simply sitting beside her. Problems feel lighter when someone is willing to hold space for them. Providing a safe place for your child to emotionally unload is invaluable.

Let them move at their own pace.

This one has been easier for me to prioritize. I really value letting my kids just be kids. I think it gives them permission to go at their own pace too. Life isn’t meant to be rushed through.

“I don’t know” is a complete sentence.

I learned early on that I don’t need to have all the answers. I often say things like, “I need to think more about that,” or “Let me get back to you.” I want my kids to see that curiosity and thoughtfulness matter more than quick certainty.

Let your child see you fail.

I really believe in showing my kids that I’m human. I apologize often. I apologize to my husband in front of them. I acknowledge when I’ve dropped the ball. “Good enough” is the goal. If my child feels loved, safe, and seen, then I’ve done my job.

Put the phone down.

This is a reminder to myself more than anyone. Probably the most valuable lesson of all. I’m more than okay responding to a text or email later if it means being more present with my kids. The moments I know I’ll treasure most are the tiny, in-between ones that would’ve been so easy to miss.

Break it into smaller pieces.

This is another lesson that took me time to learn. Parenting can feel overwhelming so quickly. Breaking hard moments or seasons into smaller pieces helps me move through them far more easily.

Tomorrow is a new day.

This is actually a lesson I learned from my own mom when I was a little girl and it’s always stuck with me. A bad day doesn’t define you, just like a bad day doesn’t define your child. We luckily get another chance tomorrow.

And one to grow on: don’t just find your village, lean on them!

Rose:

Amelia - The gorgeous weather for all these end-of-year get togethers has truly been the cherry on top of such a fun and festive last week of school!

Liz - The beautiful warm weather has been a literal bright spot during an otherwise rough week. Really hoping it continues!

Thorn:

Amelia - Between all the moving pieces this week and month, my ability to really focus and get things done has been all over the place this week..!

Liz - A stomach virus hit our house starting Saturday night and it’s continued all week. In addition to feeling really, really crappy, I struggle with getting so knocked off my feet, the anxiety of not being able to be nearly as productive as needed, especially during this hectic couple of weeks with school and sports ending.

Bud:

Amelia - My parents arrive today just in time for my daughter’s birthday party tonight! Between school officially being over and her actual birthday on Sunday, I think we’re all going to be in such happy spirits all weekend long. (Liz: WHAT a celebratory weekend woohoo!)

Liz - Birthdays are in our house too :) My littlest turns 5 tomorrow! We have a jam-packed weekend with rescheduled sports games (after the wash-out last weekend) and most importantly, celebrating my little Hot Wheels-loving guy :) (Amelia: Happiest of birthdays, G!)

Yesterday we shared a big fat fabulous roundup of book recommendations, for both moms and kids, and today, we’re excited to share… how exactly we get those kiddos to read regularly! Sometimes it’s a struggle (tv shows, video games, and friends can be much more preferred ha!), other times, it’s a struggle to get a book OUT of their hands.

But at the end of the day, it’s about consistency and making books a welcomed and regular part of our lives. Here’s how we attempt that.

And don’t miss it, at the end of this issue, some of our favorite Substacks for even more reading inspiration and recs. Bring on the books!!

Bookkeeping note: We will be pausing our paid subscription offerings for the summer, June through August. We’ll still have our weekly Friday issues but we’ll be using the summer to just let our creative juices flow as we deal with the decrease in childcare. We’ll hit the ground running again in September with more offerings, essays and convos :) Thank you for understanding xo

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Keep books everywhere and anywhere

I really, really try to have books all over the place, even if it looks super duper messy. Stacks by the couch, piles by their beds, a couple in the car. Yes, my boys still whine of being bored but they don’t ever have to actually look far for something to capture their attention. In that mindset, I try to also have my own current read always near me and lead by example, opening to my page whenever a few free moments pop up. — Liz

And always have a book on hand when heading out the door.

Our house looks very similar, with books strewn all over the place. My kids consider it cozy, and honestly, so do I! We keep extra books everywhere too: in backpacks, in the car, in the playroom. My kids read while waiting for activities to start, at restaurants, and during all those little pockets of downtime throughout the day. — Amelia

Bookstores are fun!

My boys know that mom will rarely say no to a stop at our local bookstore. And yes, does that mean I often say yes to picking up a new book while we’re there? You betcha. And that’s something I’m OK with. We love bookstore visits and we love the relationships we’ve formed with the employees there. — Liz

Love for the libraries.

While we may adore our local bookshop, we also love our library. I try to frequent it often, for us to peruse the shelves, check out a giant pile of new finds (and old favorites), and yes, even play with the computer games. Libraries = a love of books and so, my boys will know this special spot well. We love our library’s summer reading program and are looking forward to participating for the third year in a row. (Amelia: It’s also the perfect spot to hang out as the weather warms up!) — Liz

Meet your kids where they are.

Audiobooks absolutely count as reading. I recently heard someone describe them as “reading with your ears,” and I love that. My kids enjoy unwinding with audiobooks at the end of the day. They just listened to How to Steal a Dog this week—such a great middle grade option. — Amelia

Follow their reading personality.

My son still loves being read to, while my daughter prefers reading independently beside me while I read my own book. Reading together doesn’t have to look the same for every child. — Amelia

Push a little, give in a lot.

It’s easy to get stuck in a reading rhythm that’s exactly that… easy. I try to push my boys’ reading abilities tenderly (something other than Dog Man for the 100th time!), with enticing new books, but also, at the end of the day, I let them read whatever the heck they want. I truly believe in the saying “read what you love and you’ll love to read” and that is the ultimate goal. — Liz

Create cozy spaces that invite reading.

Reading light, comfy pillow, blanket, forts filled with books. Sometimes the environment matters just as much as the books themselves. — Amelia

Lean into friend recommendations.

Some of my daughter’s favorite series came from hearing about them from friends: the Out of My Mind series, The Wild Robot series, the Ungifted series. She’s absolutely flown through them. Kids really trust kid recommendations most! — Amelia

Embrace reading goals and incentives.

We do rewards for reading in our house, especially during the summer months where it is all too easy to lose grasp of nightly reading routines. It varies by child and ability, but we’ve done rewards for pages read, books completed, or minutes immersed in stories. It keeps our kiddos on track, providing the momentum we often need. We especially love our local library’s summer app program, where I can easily track each kid’s progress. Each week when a goal is met, a visit to the library leads to picking up a little prize. A win all around. — Liz

Our Favorite Reading Substacks + Resources

From sourcing great book recommendations and literary inspiration, to tips and tricks for reading more or adjusting your routine to better suit your current lifestyle, these resources are our go-to’s for everything and anything reading-related.

For the kiddos

Reading Middle Grade is one of our favorite resources for discovering unique books for tweens and younger teens. Ask Afoma posts are a favorite: parents write in sharing what their readers love (and don’t love), and Afoma thoughtfully pairs them with their next great read!

Another wonderful resource is Chrissie Writes Newsletter. Chrissie is a K–5 public school librarian in the Pacific Northwest, and her newsletter is one of our favorite go-tos for elementary school book recommendations.

We also love Youngna’s newsletter: Making It Work. She covers everything from thoughtful parenting essays to kid clothing finds, but we especially love her adult and kid book recs.

For the moms

We love Michelle Martin’s Substack, Literary Leanings, but we’re especially fond of her book recommendations. Her photos of current reads and book stacks are always styled so beautifully and make you want to curl up with a book ASAP!

We’ve been longtime fans of the podcast Bad on Paper, so we were thrilled when Becca Freeman launched Book Enthusiast. It’s one of our favorite places to hear about new releases and what she’s been reading lately.

We love following Brittany Viklund and her Substack, In Joy. Her recent BIG summer reading guide was such a fun one, and we added so many titles to our already overflowing TBR pile.

Alex Reis Valente of Thee Book Report is a newer-to-us follow, but we’ve been gobbling up her content across both of her Substack accounts: one she runs with her sisters (how fun?!) and another where she writes all about books.

And finally, Elyse Chambers (owner of Wild Plum Books) writes the wonderful Substack ChickLits, where she shares her current reads and thoughtful reviews.

Rose:

Amelia - Earlier this week I gathered with coworkers at the art studio where I teach for a team making night and it was exactly what my soul needed. No homework to help with. No lunches to pack. No schedules or logistics to manage. Just uninterrupted time to catch up, work with my hands, and show up as my tired but happy self to create in community. More nights like this please!

Liz - I’ve been loving the beautiful warm weather post-Memorial Day, tank tops on and extra walks in our neighborhood. Flowers are blooming all over and the intensity of the green everywhere is fantastic. (Do not talk to me about the impending weather this weekend).

I also began the much-talked-about book, Yesteryear, and so far, I’m very, very into it. As in, can-not-put-it-down, get me past my boys’ bedtime so I can dive in again.

Thorn:

Amelia - My kids had a 4 day weekend, so this past Tuesday felt like a Monday all day long. And somehow we’re down to less than a week of school left. Ahh!

Liz - We’ve returned to our full throttle spring sports schedule, with four games this weekend as well as soccer assessments for my oldest for next year’s travel team. Add in end of school activities/chaos and it’s feeling like A LOT right now. One day at a time literally.

Bud:

Amelia - The fun end of year school celebrations are always such a treat. I’m heading into school this morning for a sweet little author celebration with my son’s class, and next week I’ll get to see my daughter’s Changemaker gallery walk. It’s such a bittersweet time of year!

Liz - We have a lot going on but can we also just sleep a bit more this weekend?! Read my tradwife thriller? Movies with my boys? Yes yes yes.

We’re big fans of books around here and what better way to celebrate the approaching summer (poolside reading! reading with cocktails! summer thrillers and romances!) than with an amazing roundup of our recent favorites, our kiddos’ go-to’s, and what’s on the tippy-top of our TBR pile (which stands for to be read, for those not in the know).

Happy reading!! And please - share YOUR favorites in the comments!! We can never, ever have enough book recs ;)

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

Top 5 Recent Favs + Top 5 TBR

Liz

Five books that have captured my heart recently…

Lady Tremaine This creative retelling of Cinderella from the stepmother’s perspective will remain with me for a long, long time. The line-by-line writing is gorgeous, and the reflections on motherhood and grief astounded me.

The Correspondent This novel has been an absolute sensation and I can confidently say that I understand why! I devoured it, I cried, I laughed. I was so sad for it to end, but oh dear Lord, was the ride wonderful.

Famesick I’m picky about the celeb memoirs I read; they need to be well-written, juicy but not salacious or bragging. I need to feel confident that the celeb sharing their secrets is being completely honest. has always fascinated and entertianed me, but after listening to her latest on audio, I’m a fangirl for life. Her way with words is another level of brilliance.

Mothers and Other Strangers Want to enter a world deep in female friendship dynamics, with a hefty dose of motherhood mayhem and suburban observations? Want to be so taken back with the prose that you go through an entire highlighter? Look no further than ’s adult debut (and learn more about her here!).

So Old So Young Another novel I recently read where I was blown away by the author’s ability to capture intimate and intricate details and moments so deliciously well. The rollercoaster that is friendship relationships over decades is portrayed with such tenderness and so realistically in this uniquely formatted novel. Highly recommend for all late 30’s / early 40’s readers.

Liz’s TBR: Five books I’m looking forward to reading pronto: Yesteryear, Our Perfect Storm, The MASH Up, June Baby, and The Burning Side.

Amelia

I agree with Liz—both The Correspondent and Mothers and Other Strangers have been standout favorites for me this year!

Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage I know there’s a wide range of opinions on this one, but personally I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished. Yes, Belle Burden lives in a world of privilege, but the book is also a reminder that no one is immune to heartbreak, loneliness, or deep emotional pain.

Awake A reflective read about waking up to yourself, your life, and the hard but necessary work of becoming more honest about what you want. I could have done without some of the child abuse details, but I also recognize that’s an important part of Jen Hatmaker’s life.

A Marriage at Sea I’ve recommended this book so many times since reading it. While I agree it probably could have been trimmed a bit, it’s such a fascinating look at marriage, survival, and partnership. It truly felt like you were right there beside the couple as they navigated the unimaginable.

The Most This was such a great quick read after Mothers and Other Strangers. I’ve been really drawn lately to books that examine women through the lens of motherhood, marriage, and identity, and this one did that in such a thoughtful way.

Tom Lake Admittedly I’m still reading this ahead of seeing Ann Patchett speak next month, but I’m already loving the beautiful writing about family, memory, and motherhood.

Amelia’s TBR: Five books I’m hoping to read by the water this summer: Sandwich, The Shampoo Effect, Whistler, Our Perfect Storm, and One and Only.

Now, onto our kids’ favorites…

Read more

I remember the first time I learned about the concept of temperament style.

After a busy double school drop-off, I sat on a bench in the Public Garden on a crisp fall day, savoring a quiet moment to myself. In a few minutes, I’d be hopping on my first call with Jennifer Gillette, a child development specialist, eager for guidance as our family navigated the big transition of both kids starting new schools during the pandemic. At the time, I had no idea those conversations about temperament would go on to shape nearly every part of my parenting journey.

Our conversation was eye-opening. Jennifer walked me through different temperament styles and how children move through the world not just because of personality, but because of how they’re wired. Personality can shift and evolve over time, while temperament is more innate—the baseline way someone experiences and responds to the world. But the biggest takeaway for me was realizing how deeply our own wiring as parents shows up in the way we respond to our children.

After taking Jennifer’s recommended temperament quiz, I realized my son and I shared many of the same traits: a tendency to wear our emotions on our sleeves, care deeply about others, and veer toward perfectionism.

Like so many parts of parenting, in trying to understand my kids better, I ended up understanding myself more deeply too.

Read more

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One of the biggest things that Amelia and I bond over is our love of books, both for ourselves and for our kiddos. We fangirl over authors, we could spend hours browsing bookstores, and we love getting downright excited about a new novel. As we’ve written our newsletter for over a year now, we often keep coming back to wanting to discuss this passion of ours more and more. And so, Between Chapters was born. Authors amaze us no matter what, but if they’re a mother too!? Well, we’re shook. How do they do it all? How do they survive the chaos of parenting while building a creative life? What books should we all add to our TBR pile pronto?!

We’re thrilled to explore this and more, and so, let’s kick things off…

[ PS. More kid book content coming very soon… stay tuned ;) ]

I (Amelia) first came across Mothers and Other Strangers last month after seeing rave about it on Substack. I remember immediately being drawn to the unique, painterly cover, so it was a delightful surprise when Corey, the author, popped up in my inbox offering to send me a copy. The book has all the trappings of something I’d love: an exploration of mother-daughter relationships, nostalgia for girlhood, the nitty-gritty of female friendship, and a twist that genuinely caught me off guard.

We’re so thrilled Corey agreed to kick off our first installment of Between Chapters. She was such a joy to talk with, and we can’t wait for you to hear more about her creative process and get a behind-the-scenes peek at this gem of a book.

Meet Corey

Instagram: @coreyannhaydu

Substack: Books and Bangs and the Still Writing podcast with Sara Zara

Children’s names + ages: Fia, 8 and Thisbe, 3

Where do you call home? We live in Brooklyn, NY.

How do you typically spend your weekdays? A chaotic mix of school drop off, getting as much writing done as I can in the morning hours when I'm freshest and most focused, author visits to schools, podcast recording, trying to squeeze in coffee with friends, and then the frenzy of school pickups at two different schools, followed by almost always getting talked into taking the girls to the playground by our home.

Building a Creative Life

Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? What did the path to becoming an author look like for you?

I was always a big bookworm and a big journal keeper as a kid. Just piles and piles of diaries. That feeling of getting to start a new one, rushing to finish the old one. Writing was always something I was doing.

But I went to college for acting and really thought theater would be the main thing, with writing as a side project. Maybe writing a poetry book someday. That was the life I had conceived for myself.

About five years out of college, I’d get calls for auditions during the time I’d set aside to write and find myself annoyed. That audition is really going to interrupt my writing time. And it was like, oh. I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to feel if acting is really the thing you want.

So I looked for an internship to get my feet wet in publishing and randomly landed in children’s publishing right around the time of The Hunger Games. They handed me that alongside a beautiful book called Savvy and another called Little Brother and said, this is what’s happening in children’s literature right now. Read them.

And it totally blew my mind. Cool, exciting, really interesting stories were happening there, and I wondered if it was a space I could explore.

You spent more than a decade writing in the children’s and young adult space. What has it been like stepping into the world of adult fiction with your debut adult novel?

I started working on Mothers and Other Strangers about eight years ago. I’ve always written about girlhood, friendship, mothers and daughters. But becoming a mom myself was like, wait, I have so much more to say about this, and I can’t do it from the perspective of a 13 year old.

So it was a side project for a long time, which was fun. It was my non-work work. The under-contract books are my day job; this was my hobby. My secret adult book.

After three or four years I showed it to my agent, and she immediately said, “Oh, this one.” I wasn’t expecting that. I’d been in children’s for 15 years and wasn’t even sure the voice would translate. But her confidence propelled me to think, maybe I should take this more seriously. Maybe this should be more than a side project.

And it’s not a knock on children’s book. I love children’s book. It’s just that my strengths as a writer are staying in one moment for a really, really, really long time, and adult fiction lets you do that. It gave me permission to really sit with things in a way that feels creatively right for me.

As mothers, so many of us are trying to hold onto our creative selves while also raising children. What has that balance looked like for you in this season of life?

A big part of it is that I love writing. Things are so much easier when you love it. My relationship with writing is a joyful, not a fraught one. Showing up to the page is something I look forward to. It’s the thing that brings me back to myself.

When I’m having a really hard day, or the girls have a day off and it feels like the longest day ever, I can remind myself: tomorrow I’ll get to sit down at my desk, get my latte, and write. That’s what grounds me.

I also don’t have a full-time job, which helps. I teach in a writing program, but otherwise I have real pockets of time when my girls are in school.

You mentioned teaching, how does that fit into your life while also writing your own books? Has it shaped the way you think about creativity, or what it means to build a creative life?

The program I teach at is a low-residency graduate school, which means twice a year there’s a focused 10 days of workshops and lectures. Then the rest of the year, it’s one week every month where I’m deep in student work. So my writing life shuts down for a week a month and I’m fully in teacher mode.

It has helped my writing so much to be asked to explain what I’m doing. You can sort of coast along thinking, oh yeah, I just write the book. But having to nail down how you make a plot, how you make someone care about the characters or the emotional life, has held me more accountable in my own work.

And it’s really gratifying to see student success. That’s another avenue for those happy endorphins. If things aren’t going so great for me, my student got that amazing thing, and that’s exciting. It’s another place to find joy.

Do you find there’s an overlap between teaching and parenting, finding fulfillment through someone else’s growth and excitement?

My strength as a teacher and as a parent are kind of the same. I can get really invested in someone else’s special thing. That’s what I love most about parenting. You’re into chess? I guess I’m into chess now! And same with teaching. You’re writing about mermaids falling in love? Okay, I care about that now.

Getting excited about other people’s special thing is really fun in both spaces.

Looking back now, what would you tell your younger self at the beginning of this writing journey?

I had a really tough time from adolescence into adulthood. There was a lot going on. And I’d want her to know that you’ve already found the thing that’s going to save you. It is right that you are spending your time doing this. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

I spent a summer at camp where I couldn’t find my people and I was always reading and writing in my journal. I wish I could tell that 13 year old, that’s right. It’s okay that no one understands why you’re doing that. You can spend the summer reading and writing. You don’t have to like the water sports. That’s okay.

On Mothers and Other Strangers

For those who haven’t had the chance to read Mothers and Other Strangers yet, can you give us the pitch?

Mothers and Other Strangers is a dual-timeline story. The first timeline follows Joni and Beth Ann, unlikely new friends whose daughters meet at the playground. There’s no organic reason for them to love each other, but their families become entwined through raising their girls.

The second timeline follows those daughters, Mae and Sydney, and we come to understand that something has broken these families apart in the intervening years. Mae and Sydney reconnect as they’re becoming new mothers themselves.

You captured so many of the real (and sometimes messy) emotions that exist within female friendships and motherhood. We found ourselves underlining constantly. What was it like to write about those dynamics so honestly and unapologetically?

One big advantage I had was writing during my postpartum years, when I was still really close to that period. Reading copy edits about a year ago, with my younger daughter around two and a half, I remember thinking, I did it. I captured this thing. I was able to nail something really specific because I was still kind of in it as I was writing.

That in itself was really satisfying. Some of that raw stuff fades as you get further from it, and I’m grateful I had the creative space to get it down while I could, in the hopes that other moms could relate. (Amelia + Liz note: You 100% nailed it! Beyond relatable!)

It was also really important to me to capture the kind of friendship you make with someone you otherwise would never have met. I’ve had both experiences. I’ve been in mom groups that felt like the wrong fit, and then found people who became real friends out in the world, not just mom friends.

There’s something so magical about the friends you meet in parenthood. It’s so raw, from postpartum to your kids having a hard time to being an imperfect parent. I’ve never made bigger mistakes than as a mom. To have other moms around who feel safe to share that side of yourself with, I really wanted to give space to how meaningful and beautiful that is.

And then, of course, in the book I have to mess it all up.

How did you tap into the nuances and the intricate details of motherhood, from the mundane, catching up with your child’s friend in the kitchen, to the major, the emotions as your child enters adolescence and the weight of changing relationships?

I email myself sometimes, little notes about plot points or big ideas. I also really love writing details. Story comes later for me. When I’m first working on something, I just want to get every little moment of a scene onto the page and hope that the story will be there later. I let myself get really granular about what something looks like and feels like.

Ever since my first book, a YA novel called OCD Love Story, I’d get feedback about how weird and unlikable my main character was. I tend to write characters with uglier feelings, and I’m just cool with that. Everyone has difficult sides and feelings. Some of it came from acting training, where you learn you can’t just play the villain. You have to find what makes a person’s unpleasant choices make sense and that you can work with as an actor.

And the same is true on the page. So I go immediately for what’s ugly. What’s not sunshine and butterflies about how this character feels about parenthood. There are plenty of areas where I have no courage, but this is where mine lives. I’m okay with uncomfortable and not pretty. I don’t need the characters to be likable. And honestly, I think it’s more realistic. People’s thoughts and behavior aren’t perfect or pretty, even if we walk around every day pretending otherwise.

I’m comfortable in that space. I’m interested in the worst thing this mom has ever thought about motherhood or about her friend. I don’t have a lot of judgement around that in my characters.

Were any of the friendship dynamics or characters inspired by your own experiences navigating friendship and motherhood?

The original inspiration for the book came from my childhood best friend Dana. We grew up together starting at age three, incredibly close, and then lived these really different lives in different cities. At the very end of my first pregnancy, she called to tell me she was also pregnant. She had a daughter too. And I remember thinking, oh my God, we’re going to be back on the same path after all these years. How magical!

That was the initial spark. And then I took that beautiful thing and made it really complicated and dark. But the core of it is the thrill of finding your way back onto the same path as moms after years of being on very different ones, and how natural that reconnection can feel. I still can’t believe we have kids the same age and get to go through the same things together. It’s like we get to live our childhood out again while watching our kids. It just feels fated.

And Dana and I were not sunshine all the time. We had a whole hand gesture to signal we were in a fight and another to signal we were making up. I loved that. Because if you can get through that, you get to be grown-ups and laugh about how crazy and absurd it all was. I would never fight like that now.

With so many books being adapted for film and television lately, we have to ask: if Mothers and Other Strangers became a movie, who would you cast as Beth Ann, Sydney, Joni, and Mae?

The story covers a lot of ages, so we’d have to be flexible. I could see Allison Williams as Sydney or Beth Ann—that Marnie energy from Girls would be incredible. I’ve always envisioned Joni as Amanda Peet, not necessarily at her current age. And I’m a big sucker for Elle and Dakota Fanning and could see them in these roles too.

We’re still thinking about Mothers and Other Strangers long after turning the final page. Do you have any recommendations for readers looking for a book to fill the inevitable book hangover that follows?

One of my favorite reads this year is Ordinary Love. It’s a little outside what I tend to read—it might call itself a romance, and I’m not a huge romance reader—but I could not put it down. It’s about a woman in a pretty toxic, troubling marriage and her journey through it. It also has a strong friendship at the center. The lens I read it through was, oh, this is a novel about the unbelievable beauty of long-term friendship.

And then The Most. It’s short, fast, and really contained. Marriage and identity are at the center of it, and basically the whole novel is this woman in a pool. It’s really good. And because it moves quickly, it makes a great read after my book, which is on the longer side.

Rapid Fire

Paint us a picture of your ideal writing setup. The only absolute necessity for me is a hot latte. But in an ideal world I'd also want a fireplace, a really good playlist, and someone making me a bunch of snacks.

Coffee shop writing or cozy at home writing? Both! I was a long time coffee shop writing girl, and I would still say that's where I do my best writing, but during Covid I had to change so much about my writing routine, and that did help me find a love of writing at home, too.

What book is currently sitting on your nightstand? I'm finishing up Klara and the Sun by Kazua Ishiguro and I've also got The Favorites by Layne Fargo, Lauren Groff's Brawler waiting for me next. I've also got Casey Scieszka's The Fountain on my kitchen table because I'm trying very hard to have a book always available in the kitchen/living room area for when I'm tempted to reach for my phone in those little five minute pockets where my kids aren't asking me for milk or treats or to play Uno.

A children’s book you’ve loved reading with your kids lately? I recently read Lois Lowery's Anastasia Krupnick to my eight year old and boy does that voice hold up! I'm a Lowry super fan, and it was so fun to introduce Fia to her. For my three year old my current favorite is Flower Girl by Amy Bloom, illustrated by Jameela Wahlgren. It's a really sweet and relatable book about a little girl who is so excited to be her aunt's flower girl... until she realizes she'll have to wear a dress. As the mom of one dress-loving and one dress-hating girl, I really love this one and the simple way it makes room for girls who don't like dresses.

What book would you share with a friend stuck in a reading rut? My number one reading rut buster rec is the classic The Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann. I recently did one of my many re-reads of this, and of course there are some aspects that are dated, but you will FLY through this book, it's juicy and addictive and the characters are like nothing you've ever read, the portraits of NYC and LA it paints are so vibrant and unsettling, and it's just one that will keep you up all night reading. If you haven't read it, go get it now, It's a classic for a reason - and the reason is crackly, fraught, gossipy, soapy, propulsive storytelling.

What book would you share with a tween reader stuck in a reading rut? My favorite graphic novel is Vera Brosgol's Be Prepared, and I think that would be a great one to break a tween's reading rut. It's set at a summer camp and is just fantastic. I also think novels in verse are a really good way to get back into reading without feeling pressure, and one of my favorite middle grade novels in verse is Jasmine Warga's Other Words for Home.

Early morning writing or late night writing? Early morning! I LOVE when I'm in a phase of life when I can get up at 5am and write before anyone else has woken up.

A favorite creative ritual? I love a cute notebook to brainstorm in when I'm stuck. I also think going on a long walk in the morning before starting to write really helps me get in the mood and get ideas flowing.

Your favorite way to spend 30 minutes alone right now? Honestly? I always want 30 minutes to watch some ridiculous reality TV! Million Dollar Secret on Netflix is my current reality TV watch, and I like to set up my little bath table and some bubbles and watch it in the bath at night. The perfect way to shut down my brain after mom-ing and writing!

That sounds incredibly relaxing to us too! Corey, thank you so much for chatting with us in the middle of Maycember madness. It was a treat to hear about your creative journey and we are absolutely cheering you on. We can’t wait to see what you write next!

If you haven’t already, go grab Corey’s adult debut Mothers and Other Strangers. Trust us on this one!

Rose:

Amelia - I’ve got a small bouquet of roses this week: the feeling of wearing sandals on a warm sunny day, getting into a new show, finishing a quick read I’d been excited to dive into, spending time doing crafts with my daughter in the afternoons, and enjoying pizza with the fam at a fun new neighborhood spot.

Liz - I was thrilled to be a chaperone for both of my older boys’ field trips this week! I always love getting a peek into their daily lives with their schoolmates and teachers, and despite the intense heat, there were some very fun and funny experiences. Just imagine: 100 1st graders at the zoo in 92 degrees.

Connecting with Corey to kick off the week was another fabulous rose indeed. I ended our call feeling so beyond inspired. I’ll forever gobble up her words.

Thorn:

Amelia - May is always a hard month for me. All the feelings sneak up on me. As soon as the trees start filling in with bright green leaves and the tulips begin blooming in the Public Garden, I start noticing all the blooming that’s been happening in my own home over the school year too. I can’t help but feel all the feels as we cross off another elementary school grade and I look at how much my kids have grown and changed in such a short amount of time.

Liz - Maycember is real and the light at the end of the tunnel is still very teeny tiny.

Bud:

Amelia - I’m very ready for a change of scenery! We unfortunately had a last-minute change of plans for Memorial Day weekend, but we’re all excited for a low-key long weekend in Maine. I’m more than ready for beach walks that require sweatshirts, time in nature, and of course some delicious seafood. (Liz: Please send me Maine pics!!)

Liz - A long weekend with a solid break from the sports schedule is very much needed for my family and I. We’re kicking it off with a classic Friday night on the couch with a movie and snuggles and I’m honestly so, so excited.

Sitting in the ER—dizzy, nauseous, head pounding, waiting to find out whether I needed scans for a brain bleed—I had the distinct feeling that this experience was going to change me. Those first days and weeks post concussion were a blur. I was in a dazed, foggy state, barely able to show up for myself, let alone anyone else.

For the first time, I couldn’t simply push through.

And once that was no longer an option, I was forced to confront just how much of my life had been built around saying yes without thinking. Every plan, text, and commitment suddenly required energy I no longer had, forcing me to become honest with myself about my limited bandwidth.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It was hard to admit, but I’d been avoiding it for years: constant availability to everyone else was coming at a real cost to myself.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

For most of my life, I aimed to please others. I bent over backwards without questioning it, putting others’ needs consistently ahead of my own. I even saw this as a strength. If I could make life easier for the people I loved, what could possibly be wrong with that?

Like so many parts of ourselves, I can trace this back to childhood. I would describe my mom as a super mom—someone who gave endlessly and carried so much for so many people. I admired her deeply and still do. But without even realizing it, I absorbed a belief about what it meant to be a good mom, wife, and friend: dependable, accommodating, and endlessly available.

I’m choosing another path. One where I check in with myself before I say yes. Where I consider not just my time, but my energy. Where I pause instead of automatically stepping in.

Sometimes it looks like saying, “I can’t this week.” Sometimes it looks like not responding right away. Sometimes it looks like disappointing someone while still staying true to myself.

And I’m learning this isn’t selfish. When I’m not overextended, I’m more present, more generous, and more like myself.

I think about this a lot as I raise my daughter. I know how easy it is, especially as a young girl, to slip into the role of being everything for everyone. To measure your worth by how much you do for others.

I want her to see me pause, to see me consider my own needs and to see me choose how I show up. I want her to know that being kind doesn’t mean abandoning yourself. That being a good person doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. That you are allowed to have limits.

Maybe she’ll grow up watching me do this imperfectly. Maybe she’ll notice the moments I still default to old patterns. But I do hope she also sees me trying to live more intentionally.

Rose:

Amelia - I’m still riding the high of Mother’s Day. It was exactly the kind of day I needed. I had the chance to read and finish Mothers and Other Strangers over the weekend and absolutely devoured it. It also made me even more excited for our conversation next week with author Corey Ann Haydu for an upcoming Coffee Catch Up.

Liz - I’m also still riding the high of Mother’s Day, a sunny day watching my boys play baseball, being showered with hugs from all my little men, and enjoying sushi and pad thai later on… before my middle kiddo got sick on said take out. I can laugh with love over this season of life and celebrations, and the late night puke felt so on point with us lately - and he’s totally ok now :)

Thorn:

Amelia - I’ve been feeling so off this week. I can’t tell if it’s the endless to dos this time of year, the extra caregiving for my daughter who’s moving through an injury, the stretches of solo parenting, or just the strange and unpredictable spring weather. Maybe it’s all of the above…!

A few things helping lately: tons of water with electrolytes, forcing myself to go on walks even when I feel like I don’t have the time, reading + chamomile tea before bed.

Liz - My youngest son’s allergies are wrecking pure havoc on his little body and it’s heartbreaking. We have a full regime of meds and methods, and that helps for sure, but he’s still suffering with coughs, sneezes, swollen, red, itchy eyes, and overall crankiness and distress. I’m so looking forward to relief, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Bud:

Amelia - TGIF…I’m just thrilled it’s almost the weekend!

Liz - The weather report for the weekend currently looks quite lovely!? We have a packed schedule with sports and friends’ celebrations, and sunny skies would make it all even better!

I remember hysterically sobbing as I said goodbye to my high school girlfriends as we all went our separate ways for college, desperately clinging to our bonds, undoubtedly confident that we’d be together as best friends forever. There was absolutely no way any other ladies could take their place, or gasp, even form deeper friendships.

I know many girls stay close with their childhood besties, forever their closest confidants. But for me, those deep relationships came later, in college and beyond. The women I met during my four years at college have stayed in my life til this day, in varying degrees of closeness, but there, steady as a drum.

Through my twenties I met women at different jobs, through my then-boyfriend (now husband), and in connections that happen throughout the weirdness and randomness of life. Some have stayed close, others have drifted away.

It continued in my thirties but with much less intensity and frequency, thanks to the whole having babies and pandemic thing.

I’ve heard it said that “Friends are here for a reason, a season, or life” and when phrased that way, it feels so true, it makes so much sense, as I look back on all the ladies that have come, gone, and stayed.

But lately, as I’ve entered my 40’s, I’ve been thinking about what I really appreciate, what I really need, what I look for in a friendship now.

Read more

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

You know when you come upon someone and just get that feeling like, damn, are we meant to be friends? I stumbled upon Emma on Substack first, and quickly developed a bit of a girl/mom/writer crush on her, from her writing style, bff-relatability, and her humor mixed with vulnerability. I kept nodding my head over and over:

Yes, I totally understand what she means!

Yes, I love that book too!

Yes, I’d love to hear more about her writing process!

We met for coffee one chilly March morning and the vibe continued, and has ever since, as I devour her Substack issues one by one, and eagerly await her first novel.

It is my pleasure - and with utter excitement - that I introduce you to Emma for today’s coffee catch up. Pour the drink of your choice and get ready to learn more about this ex-tech exec, aspiring novelist, and fun and fabulous mom of two. You’re bound to have a smile on your face and a warmed, reassured heart when you’re done.

A very fitting coffee catch up for Mother’s Day weekend indeed :)

Without further ado…

Meet Emma

IG handle: @writewithemma

Substack handle:

Website: writewithemma.substack.com

Children’s Names and Ages: Silas (5) and Thia (4)

Where do you reside: Concord, MA

How do you spend your weekdays: My kids are in part-time preschool: three longer days, one short day where I get the afternoon with them, and one full day home with my younger. On the days they’re with me, we’re usually off on some kind of adventure. On the days they’re at school, I’m writing what I hope will be my debut novel, with a little dabbling in Substack and Instagram in between.

Let’s visit your ideal Saturday morning:

What are you drinking? Coffee? Tea? Coffee in the morning… and a latte in the afternoon. Tea before bed.

What is your ideal Saturday morning - with kids: My ideal Saturday morning with kids is slow and easy. We hang in the yard while I read my book and drink my coffee and the kids run wild. My husband usually sleeps in, and when he gets up we all lazily get ourselves together and head into town—another coffee, scooters or bikes, the playground, maybe meeting friends along the way. Or we skip town entirely and make a little adventure of it. I love finding an estate sale I want to hit and dragging the whole family with me, then building a day around wherever we end up—bonus points if there’s a beach nearby or a restaurant we’ve been wanting to try.

What is your ideal Saturday morning - without kids: My husband gets up first and brings me coffee in bed, then climbs back in and goes back to sleep beside me while I read and drink it for as long as I want.

What season of motherhood are you in, in your own words and description: I’m in what feels like a fringe season of motherhood—my kids aren’t toddlers anymore, but they aren’t quite big kids yet either. We still have strollers in the garage, though they’re collecting dust. We can do so much more now, no longer tethered to nap schedules and diapers, but they are still so little! I feel the fleetingness of this stretch more than I ever have before, and that has given me a deeper appreciation for even the hard days.

What is the PEAK of this season for you: The peak of this season is just getting to be with them! We can do so much more together now, and it feels like they are actual little buddies. I’m not as busy constantly taking care of them in the same hands-on way, which means I get to really enjoy them—talking, adventuring, laughing, and simply hanging out. And we laugh and sing a lot. And the little words they still don’t say quite right.

What is the PIT of this season for you: The whining! I would say I am a pretty chill mom, but the whining gets to me. And bigger kid whining is so much worse to me than toddler whining, because they know better and they are making sense.

How are you caring for yourself this season: I know that as the mom, I set the temperature in our home. If I am running hot (overstimulated, overtouched, overtired) the whole house feels it. So caring for myself has become less about indulgence and more about maintenance. These days that means protecting time to be alone, because creative thinking is nearly impossible for me when I’m interrupted every thirty seconds, spending time with friends, moving my body (btone is my current favorite), and making sure I get meaningful one-on-one time with each member of my family.

Getting to know Emma

We’ve loved getting to know you via your Instagram and Substack, as well as in person :) We know your story but could you share with our readers the shift from tech exec to being at home with your kiddos today and focusing on writing? How did that evolve?

I went to school for creative writing, and I have really always been writing in some form. As a kid, it was little stories and plays and notebooks full of ideas. After college, though, I fell into tech and never quite looked back. I always assumed I would return to writing eventually, maybe go back to school, but the titles kept getting higher and the paycheck kept getting harder to walk away from.

In 2019, when I was pregnant with our first, I started a novel for the third time, but this idea was the one that stuck. I wrote between meetings, late at night, and in every spare pocket of time I could find. I was in a groove and feeling more creatively alive than I had in years. Then I got pregnant with our second before our first turned one, and the manuscript went into a drawer, or more accurately, an abandoned Google Doc, for a few years. But I never really stopped thinking about it.

At the time, with two under two and an executive role, I felt like I could not give anything the time it deserved. Not my job, not my writing, not myself. By the spring of 2024, I was deeply unhappy at work and knew something needed to change, but still felt too stuck to make the leap on my own. Then I got a surprising call about a company reorganization that shifted my role. It was handled poorly, and I would be lying if I said it was not an ego blow, but it also gave me something I had not been able to give myself, which was an exit.

What are some things you’ve learned in your career journey and entering the digital world in a more vulnerable capacity?

In my career journey, one of the biggest things I have learned is to be good to people and to genuinely connect with them. I wrote a Substack last year about career advice, and the central point was this: be the person who stocks the bathroom with tampons. By that I mean, be aware of the power you hold and use it to make things easier for the people coming up behind you. Remember what you would have wanted someone to do for you, and do that.

As for being vulnerable in the digital world, I have learned that it is much harder than it looks, but it has also taught me to take myself so much less seriously. Putting yourself out there regularly is humbling, but I think it has been good for me. I’ve also met some incredibly special internet friends turned real friends.

You’ve shared some very private topics with your readers, most recently, your miscarriage and your thoughts on growing your family. What made you want to share that and did anything surprise you about writing it, sharing it, the reaction?

Writing has always been an outlet for me. I wish I were someone who journaled every day, but in reality I tend to write most when I am moving through something, big feelings, big change, something I am trying to make sense of. So when the miscarriage happened, my first instinct was to open a journal. But almost immediately I found myself thinking how much I would have valued reading someone else’s real-time reflections in miscarriage.

I mention in my post some of the places I turned after my first miscarriage, Cup of Jo, old Man Repeller essays, scattered stories online, but even after searching now five years later, there still felt like so little. Miscarriage is such a common experience, and yet it can feel strangely absent from everyday conversation. I think I wanted to be part of changing that a little bit. I wanted to write about it without shame, while I was still actively in it, and hopefully make even one woman feel a little less alone in the process.

What surprised me most was how many women responded. Friends, friends of friends, and total strangers reached out to share their own stories, and it opened the door to so many conversations that probably would not have happened otherwise. It made me realize just how much women are carrying quietly, and how sometimes we just need someone to say the hard thing out loud first.

We LOVE chatting with mothers who write and we’re so excited to follow along with your book journey - what’s the current status? What’s next?

I also love chatting with mothers who write because it is not easy.

Right now, I am in the second-to-last major edit before going back on submission. I queried this novel last June and got generally really positive feedback, with one fairly enormous caveat repeated across the board: the suggestion to take COVID out of the book.

The problem was that COVID was the plot driver.

I froze, honestly. Between that feedback and having very little childcare over the summer, I barely touched the manuscript for months. Once the kids were settled back in school, though, I returned to it with fresh eyes, the help of my writing group, and an incredible editor, and I finally feel like the book is back on track. Covid is out and I finally feel that it is better than before.

I have another novel swirling in my head, and I am very ready to leave the world I have been living in for seven years and step into something new. So I feel equal parts excited, relieved, and terrified to be at this point.

How have you prioritized your writing… with the demands of motherhood and young children? What tips can you offer others?

I have always worked for someone else, so keeping myself accountable as my own boss and my own creative director has been an adjustment. I do very well with deadlines, external expectations, and someone waiting on me. Left entirely to my own devices, it is much easier to let laundry, emails, school forms, or just sheer exhaustion crowd out the writing.

In fact, I have a friend right now who I email every day with my word count and the chapters I have edited. It feels mildly pathetic to admit at almost 37 years old, but apparently, external accountability is still what gets me over the finish line.

More than anything, though, I have learned that consistency matters more than waiting for some magical open stretch of time. For me, that means writing every day, or at least five days a week, even if some days I only get an hour.

Of course, motherhood laughs at consistency. A kid gets sick, school is closed, someone needs you, and the day you carefully planned disappears. So it becomes a constant balancing act between holding myself to the work and giving myself enough grace to understand that this season is inherently unpredictable.

My worst habit is getting stuck in the shoulds: when I am with my kids, I think I should be writing, and when I am writing, I think I should be with my kids. It pulls me out of wherever I actually am.

I have been working very hard to let go of that guilt and be present in the place I chose to be, whether that is at my desk or on the playroom floor. I am a better writer when I am not resentful, and a better mother when I am not distracted.

What are your favorite go-to self-care practices?

Voice notes with friends. It is hard in this season of life to always be available exactly when you need to talk something through or when you are thinking of someone, and voice notes let you stay connected in a way that feels low pressure but still personal.

I also love my sauna blanket and fully support letting myself rot on TikTok while I am in it. That feels like wellness with a side of nonsense, which is really the sweet spot. A good massage also never hurts.

In addition, we know reading is one of them - have you always been a big reader?

Yes, I have always been a huge reader. American Girl books and the Dear America series were absolutely my gateway drug. My parents used to take my books away at night because I would stay up reading by whatever light I could find, often hiding in my closet so they would not catch me.

Now I still have insomnia sometimes, but at least I have a Kindle.

With two little kiddos, how do you manage all the hats you wear and who’s part of your village?

I feel like the honest answer is: not especially well.

It is a lot of missed texts, unanswered emails, forgotten forms, and things constantly falling through the cracks. The former corporate Type A version of me would actually be horrified by how many loose ends I now live with on a daily basis.

But motherhood, especially stay at home motherhood, has taught me to let the plastic balls really, really drop in order to keep the glass balls in the air.

That has probably been the biggest shift for me — understanding that not everything gets held at once, and some things simply matter more than others. I am lucky to have friends who understand this season completely. They know I may not respond to the random meme or casual check-in for a day, but they also know that if they text me “this is an emergency,” I am there immediately.

My husband and I have also had to reinvent our parenting logistics a number of times as both of our work lives have changed. What worked six months ago often does not work now, so there has been a lot of ongoing recalibration and a lot of conversations about division of labor. We went from 40-50 hrs of childcare/week to zero in a matter of days… which was a humbling experience.

Practically speaking, my village is my local friends who are happy to help with a pick up or come over for a casual play date, my in-laws who live nearby and can take the kids for a few hours when needed, and, more recently, a house manager who comes about ten hours a week to help with both childcare and household overflow.

Are there any parenting bits of advice or wisdom that has stuck with you over the years, or that you carry in your head and heart, returning to them as guideposts when challenges pop up?

One that has really stayed with me came secondhand from a friend’s mom.

My friend was going through a hard season recently, and her mom asked her, very simply, “What are you into lately?”

I could not stop thinking about that question.

It is such an ordinary question on the surface, but it communicates something much deeper than “How was your day?” or “What did you do?” It says: I am curious about who you are becoming. I want to know what is lighting you up right now. I am paying attention.

I started asking my kids every few days, usually at bedtime, “What are you really into these days?”

Sometimes the answers are hilarious and deeply specific. Sometimes they are fleeting. But it feels like such an intimate way of getting to know them as the people they are, not just the children I am responsible for raising.

There is something about it that reminds me to stay curious about them instead of assuming that I already know them.

And the other guidepost I come back to constantly is that it is all a temporary. The magical phases do not last forever, which is its own kind of heartbreak, so enjoy them while you are in them. And the really hard phases do not last forever either, so just survive them.

Fun Rapid Fire Questions:

Morning person or night owl? Morning person! 100%

Go-to drink? A latte, absolutely. Before I had kids, I used to make fun of people ordering the wildly customized sugary coffee drinks. Now I am first in line for the vanilla-banana-whatever situation.

Best book you’ve read recently? Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall

Favorite book to recommend to others? Recently? Bright Young Women by Jessica Knoll

Song that always gets you dancing? I Wanna Dance With Somebody or Cyclone lol

Quickest way to reset after a chaotic day? A Cann

A business tool or habit you swear by? If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t count.

What’s been your Rose, Thorn, Bud lately?

Rose: Wednesdays. They have quietly become my ideal day. I write all morning, and then I have the kids with no real plans in the afternoon. Especially now that the weather is getting nicer, I love those unstructured weekday hours with them. A playground, scooters, popsicles, wandering around outside.

Then we have a sitter in the evening, so my husband and I can sneak out for an early dinner before coming home for bedtime.

It somehow feels like every version of me gets a little fed on Wednesdays.

Thorn: The aforementioned shoulds.

The constant low-grade feeling that there should be twenty-five hours in a day and that no matter what I am doing, there is something else I should also be doing. I am not sure that one is unique to me, but it is definitely alive and well over here.

Bud: Summer.

I am such a beach girl, and I absolutely love being a beach mom. I cannot wait to spend long days looking for shells and tiny sea creatures with the kids, and letting the whole schedule loosen up a little.

Thank you, Emma, for being so open and for sharing so much amazing insight and so many inspiring stories with us! We enjoyed catching up with you :)

Rose:

Amelia - I’ve been teaching more toddler art classes than usual this week, and it’s been such a positive mental health boost. There’s something so calming and meditative about creating art with young children. It gets me completely out of my head and right back to where I am physically.

Liz - I’m such an OG fan of Carley Fortune’s books and was thrilled to attend an event with her on Tuesday, celebrating the release of her 5th! It was so lovely to catch up with Amelia in person and get our sparkly copies of the new book, Our Perfect Storm. I adore book events and per usual, left feeling giddy and so incredibly inspired. (Amelia: Definitely one of my top roses from the week too! XO)

Thorn:

Amelia - My daughter has been home a lot this week due to an injury, and while the constant reshuffling has felt like a thorn, the extra time together has been really nice.

Liz - I got hit with a last minute solo parenting stretch and with endless sports practices, games, doctors appointments, and school events, it’s been a bit overwhelming managing it all. Add in an ortho emergency for my poor kiddo earlier in the week and anxiety wasn’t exactly at a chill level this week…

Bud:

Amelia - As cliche as it sounds, I’m really looking forward to a little alone time this weekend. Time to read, go for a long walk, listen to a podcast, and not have to think about logistics or meals for a few hours sounds really nice right now! : )

Liz - I have “Mother’s Day Tea” with my littlest today at his preschool, and it’s something I treasure every year :) Daddy returns home soon and then we have a weekend chock full of sports and as long as the weather is nice, I’ll be a happy mama watching my boys play - though some of my favorite takeout would be lovely too ;)

Wishing all those who mother,

in any and every way,

a weekend filled with love and peace.

For those who may be facing a particularly difficult weekend, I’d love to share this beautiful essay by my dear friend Lindsay, on her first Mother’s Day without her own mom. Sending so much love xo

** Note: This issue may cut off early in email format - to read it all, view the complete piece in the Substack app or online.

It was somewhere between corralling my boys down the streets of downtown Woodstock and them testing out all the beds in our hotel room that it hit me: it’s good to be somewhere new.

I’m a homebody, through and through. An introvert to boot. I fully embrace hibernating from January through March with no qualms or concerns. Travel hasn’t been a top priority in past years, between a global pandemic and the chaos of three babies within four years.

But with our boys reaching wonderful, more flexible ages and stages, we’ve slowly but surely been stepping out of our nest and expanding our explorations wider.

Last week, for school spring break, we ventured north (Noah Kahan would obv approve), and explored Vermont. I’ve never been to the idyllic Woodstock and was eager to see it in person, and we had to, of course, hit up our beloved Stowe, to show the boys where Mommy and Daddy got married.

Prepping for a trip can quickly and easily suck the joy out pretty darn quickly, between the organizing of the clothes, and getting the house and plants and cats ready for our departure, but we finally hit the road, vehicle packed to the brim. And as we crossed state lines, I felt myself start to actually breathe, to settle into my seat. Yes, the boys were already bickering in the back but they were also excited, the anticipation was palpable.

Woodstock proved to live up to its hype, despite it not being peak leaf season, the pinnacle of summer, or even the height of winter skiing. In fact, we were there during a particularly quiet time, a weird in-between, and while a few shops and cafes were closed, for the most part, this quietness proved to be a plus. No crowds, no waits for dinners, easy parking galore.

Easy peasy is how we tried to roll, planning only a few hours ahead at a time, lingering when desired, skipping anything that didn’t capture our attention. Passing on the gift shops packed with fragile knick knacks, hitting up the hotel’s game room for hours of pool and air hockey.

The gorgeous indoor swimming pool was obviously the highlight and with only a few other swimmers, my boys could cannonball to their hearts’ desires.

We continued the vibe in Stowe, and the boys delighted in a bigger hotel suite, fancy robes, and another indoor pool. Chicken nuggets and fries could be ordered poolside and well, life really doesn’t get better than that for a little boy (or honestly, anyone).

My husband and I delighted in not cooking for days and treating ourselves to extra coffees, cocktails and desserts in the spirit of vacation. There was no need to rush in the morning and it was lovely.

But more than the delicious Vermont coffee and my husband’s favorite local brew, more than the little souvenirs the boys fussed over, more than endless breakfast bars, it was a feeling that took over all of us. Nothing dramatic and gasp-inducing. We weren’t heart-eyed 24/7 as we gazed upon perfectly behaved children. Because believe me, they fought like the cats and dogs that they are all over Vermont, in hotel rooms, on the street, in the car.

But it was a feeling that we needed this. We needed these moments as a family, away from the toll of daily to-do’s, the cleaning, the lunch packing, the rules and more.

We needed the magic that is a change of scenery, that is time spent as the five of us, making core memories. Time spent laughing and eating and forming random inside jokes and routines, in such a short span of time.

My boys quickly came to know the lovely doormen at the hotels, they chose their favorite pastries at the breakfast bar, how to turn the fireplace on in our room. The boys gathered up all the hotel branded items as souvenirs, raced to and from the elevator, and chatted up the concierge desk more than once.

We escaped to a new world all together and it took my breath away.

I found notes my middle son had written on some of that hotel stationery, a list of sorts.

Tiny room. Transform couch1. Gift shop. Indoor pool. Fun time.

He told me these were things he liked so far. All those cliche inspirational signs at TJ Maxx are right, gosh darn. It’s the little things that matter the most.

Me too buddy, me too.

My oldest son turned nine a few days after we returned from Vermont. And per usual, my mom brain veered towards the reflective, the emotional, all those heart-warming and wrenching emotions taking over. I know many moms feel sad on birthdays, wishing their kiddos would stay little longer, but I get excited, feeling such joy in their growth, in their lives, in where we stand today. A true sense of awe.

I don’t want to look back with regret and wishes, and I don’t want to look forward with too much eagerness.

I want to be here, today, now. I want to live up to this newsletter’s name, and savor the season we are in right this very moment, no more, no less.

That is what filled my mom brain all week in Vermont, all weekend as we celebrated my big nine year old beautiful boy. Taking mental (and real) photos to hold onto the present as much as possible.

It’s easy to get caught up in worries and anticipation, in to-do’s and concerns, about the past and what’s to come tomorrow; I’m far from exempt or above any of this. But escaping reality for a few days, in traveling to a new place, it provided a refresher, a new perspective that had been much needed.

Will I still get sucked into the daily stressors before long though? Of course.

But when I do, you better believe, I’ll be reaching back to recent memory and remembering some of those Green Mountain moments, when all felt right and clear. A reminder that sometimes all we need to get back on track is to step onto a new path for a while and see things through little boys’ eyes.

Rose:

Amelia - I’ve been leaning into book events lately (I went to 2 this week!) and have been thoroughly enjoying them. I love the sense of community, the fact that they’re entirely offline, and the shared excitement in the room. While I have no personal plans to write a book, there’s something so inspiring about hearing an author talk through their process and takeaways. It like learning how the sauce gets made directly from the chef. I’m already excited to go to more! (Liz: I can’t wait for our book event next week, I’m downright giddy about it!)

Liz - Despite a wonderful, whirlwind break, it was still really lovely to get back to routine this week, to dive into spring sports, and try to organize our home a bit. May and June are going to be bonkers but I feel like I have - somewhat of - a handle on it; time to embrace the chaos!

Thorn:

Amelia - We spent the weekend in Maine, and while there were so many lovely family moments, we were all a little off at times too. I accidentally left the kids’ snacks at home, we hit traffic on the drive up, and there was more bickering than even my headphones could cancel out.

Liz - A horrible cold hit me after our travels and oh my gosh, it knocked me off my feet. The worst congestion I’ve (ever!?) had.

Bud:

Amelia - I’m excited to host my parents for our first al fresco dinner of the season this weekend. There’s something so special about setting the table, planning a few seasonal dishes, and catching up all together.

Liz - A weekend without visitors or travel, we’re home for sports and yard work, and I’m so happy for this simplicity. Plus I have a fun outing with a dear friend on Sunday :)