There’s a pandemic of depressed youth. We’re too young to be feeling this way. This isn’t normal. It doesn’t feel normal. Nothing about this generation is.

For a few minutes we put our phones down and while conversing we didn’t even realize when we transitioned into a conversation about Allāh about the day of judgement the grave and salah and in that moment our imaan went back up and we were filled with the fear and awe of Allāh. Our negligence His mercy. Then it was time for maghrib and we got up to pray and after salah we returned to our phones our distractions and in that moment I paused and I said “this is the problem with us we briefly remembered and just as it came quietly without us realizing it it left us again and now we’re back to our routine our distraction” and she nodded in agreement and we both carried on scrolling

~ my cousin and I stuck in the vicious circle of overconsumption

I read somewhere that perhaps the reason for our depression and feeling of disconnection from Allah is our overconsumption. We’re constantly bombarding our minds with irrelevant nonsense. We keep consuming. Like we don’t know how to exist without consuming anymore and it’s toxic and slowly killing our soul. we don’t let our soul breathe we don’t allow ourselves be bored we don’t let our minds remember its Rabb.

I realized how addicted i am to my phone a long time ago and decided to rid my phone of all the apps that kept me glued to my screen. I want control over my mind back. I want to be able to live without my phone for at least 24hrs. I challenged myself once. I wanted to see if I could go a whole day without my phone. I failed. I lasted 11hrs tops. And what struck me was the hold it had on me that need yearning and desire to just make contact with my phone and to see the glowing screen. Even without social media or anyone to talk to. I still craved my dry phone. I just wanted to stare at my screen even if it was at nothing. That was more than a month ago. I haven’t tried it again. But I think I will. I’ll try to regain control. To train my mind. Even if it’s one step at a time until I get there. 11hrs is a long time. It’s almost half a day.

Sometimes i get so distracted by the dunya chasing it overwhelmed by it angered by it carried away by it i forget the existence of the akhira and of death and how none of this actually matter. that my sadness and depression stems from something so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things feels so absurd.

sometimes I pause and I ask myself how I got here and why I do nothing about this sinking feeling. I know what matters yet I allow myself to be distracted by the dunya drowned by it while I complain about the hole in my chest growing bigger. of course I feel empty. I haven’t fed my soul in a while. I’ve abandoned it. I’ve starved it fed it junks.

Why was I created? And why do I sometimes wish not to exist? Is that desire rooted in my own ignorance of my true purpose? Why do I always end up here? And what am I going to do about it?

What if I die today?

i read somewhere that i should be grateful for the ache i feel in my heart in my soul because a dead heart doesn’t ache or reflect.

I pray once I’m done writing this and hitting publish I sit with this feeling and I do something positive about my life. I hope i don’t give in to my distractions. I hope I don’t let myself get carried away again. I pray I work towards being better doing better for myself and my soul.

i think about this tedtalk a lot.

How have you all been doing? I hope and pray you’ve all been doing great in shaa Allah.

I took a much needed break from writing here and focused more on my own self development and introspection.

I noticed that when I had a thought or reflection I immediately run here to write about it rather than working on it implementing it and living by it.

While I’ve been away (lol) I’ve had quite a number of reflections, I’ll try to share some in shaa Allah. The ones I can remember at least.

It wasn’t just substack I took a break from but rather almost all my social media. I wanted my time and my consciousness back and Alhamdulillah it’s been great so far. I realized that I spent a great deal of time on distractions and entertainment and that needed to change. After getting rid of most of the distractions, I got bored like really bored and didn’t know what to do with all the free time I now had in my hands. I allowed myself to be bored and observed my environment more. I admired Allāh’s creations and did a lot of tadabbur Alhamdulillah. I also noticed how obsessed everyone was with their phone. I realized that in a room full of people only a few of us weren’t distracting ourselves almost everyone was either scrolling social media or watching a movie. It was a sad realization.

It was around that time, I contemplated what time was and why it was important. I thought about time on a deeper level. It passes (or runs these days lol) but where to? And why do we all feel like we don’t have enough? Also, everyone has been given different amounts of time. Some 50 years or more, others 10 years or less. It led me to think about purpose as well. Why do some people have more time than others? And other than our primary purpose which is to worship Allāh; do we have a secondary purpose? And is the amount of time we have, given to us in accordance with that secondary purpose? And what could my secondary purpose be? What difference or positive impact do I want to make in the world? How do I leave the world better than I met it? What can I do with my life that’ll help promote Islam? How do I live a life pleasing to Allāh? A life that in shaa Allah wouldn’t leave me with regrets like:

يَقُولُ يَٰلَيۡتَنِى قَدَّمۡتُ لِحَيَاتِى

He will say, “Oh, I wish I had sent ahead [some good] for my life.” Al-Fajr 89:24

May Allāh save us from being among them. Ameen.

I watched a lot of Norman Ali Khan’s striking examples from the Quran videos and Subhan’Allah it gave me a lot of clarity.

You see the prophets of Allah (peace be upon all of them) had a purpose aside from worshipping Allāh, it was calling to Tawhid. But aside from that, they each had an individual mission based on the people/nation Allāh sent them to.

Similarly, surely, we must also have our own individual purpose (or maybe I’m getting ahead of myself). I keep asking myself questions like: why am I here? In this country? Why am I from this family? Why am I Sawfiyah? Like why did Allāh put me here surely there must be a reason. And why do I feel like time is running out? What am I supposed to be doing with my time? How am I supposed to live my life?

Alhamdulillah, fortunately, the answers to all these questions are in the Quran.

It is the freeing of a slave, Or feeding on a day of severe hunger, An orphan of near relationship, Or a needy person in misery, And then being among those who believed and advised one another to patience and advised one another to compassion. Those are the companions of the right. (Q90:13-18)

[He] who gives [from] his wealth to purify himself. And not [giving] for anyone who has [done him] a favor to be rewarded. But only seeking the countenance of his Lord, Most High. And he is going to be satisfied. (Q92:18-21)

So as for the orphan, do not oppress [him]. And as for the petitioner, do not repel [him]. But as for the favor of your Lord, report [it]. (Q93:9-11)

By time, Indeed, mankind is in loss, Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (Q103:1-3)

These are a few examples among many others. The Quran is filled with them and the stories in the Quran? They’re meant to guide and teach a lesson. For deeper understanding of them I highly recommend NAK’s striking examples from the Quran. May Allāh bless Nouman and increase him in knowledge. Ameen.

Some will realize and fulfill their secondary purpose before dying while others will waste time on distractions and entertainment until death overtakes them. Catching them unaware. SubhanaLlah. May Allāh protect us from such a fate.

The way I look at life, at time, now has changed. I see time as a valuable resource that needs to be well managed. We all have 24hrs in a day. How do we utilise those 24hrs in a way that’ll benefit us in the akhirah (and dunya). 8-7hrs out of the 24hrs is already gone to sleep. Leaving us with 16hrs. How do we spend those 16hrs in a way that’ll benefit that won’t leave us with regrets on the day of judgement.

Another realization I had was that I knew so little about the deen. I pray in a language I don’t understand yet somehow, I was ok with that. No wonder khushu was so difficult to attain. And funny enough the excuse I kept giving for not learning Arabic was I had no time yet once I rid myself of my distractions, I realized I did have time it was just spent on irrelevant things.

I am now practicing mindfulness and detachment from my phone. It hasn’t been easy. I didn’t realize how addicted I was to my phone until I decided to detach. I deleted most of my social media, movies, games etc. Yet my hands kept reaching for it. Sometimes I’d just stare at my now mostly empty phone screen then I’d drop it again when I realized what I just did. How did we get here? I find myself asking most times.

As for my secondary purpose, I pray to Allāh to guide me to it. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it might be. I want it to be something that’s of benefit to the ummah, that makes the world slightly better. It doesn’t have to be grand. And people don’t have to know about it. I want it to be between me and my Rabb. Something pleasing to Him in shaa Allah.

May Allah guide us all to our secondary purpose and make fulfilling it easy. May He (SWT) ease us towards ease and make living a life pleasing to Him easy. Ameen.

I leave you with a few excerpts from my some of my conversations with ChatGPT:

Many scholars, when explaining knowledge, time, and purpose, tie them together almost like a roadmap of life. Here’s a simple framework:

⸻

1. Purpose: Why are you here?

• Allah made it clear in Qur’an 51:56 → “I did not create jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”

• But worship isn’t just praying and fasting. Worship = living your whole life in alignment with Allah’s pleasure.

• That means your studies, career, kindness to parents, building something useful for the ummah — all of it can be ibadah if done with the right intention.

So, your “secondary purposes” are actually just branches of the main purpose.

⸻

2. Knowledge: The tool for purpose

• You can’t worship properly without knowledge.

• You can’t serve people well without knowledge.

• You can’t use time wisely without knowledge.

This is why seeking knowledge is an act of worship itself. Imam Al-Ghazali even said knowledge is the “root of every action.” Because if you don’t know, you’ll waste time, or even sin without realizing.

There are two types:

• ʿIlm an-Nāfiʿ (Beneficial knowledge): Qur’an, Sunnah, ʿAqīdah, Fiqh → this connects you to Allah.

• Dunyā knowledge: Medicine, engineering, AI, etc. → this helps you serve creation.

Both are needed; both are worship if your niyyah is right.

⸻

3. Time: The currency of life

• Imam al-Hasan al-Basri said: “You are nothing but a number of days. Every time a day passes, a part of you is gone.”

• Time is your capital — you spend it on actions. Those actions (if aligned with Allah’s will) become your eternal profit.

• Wasting time = losing capital.

• Using time well = investing for Jannah.

This is why Surah Al-Asr is so profound: Allah swears by time, then gives the formula not to lose: faith, good deeds, truth, patience.

⸻

🧭 Putting it together:

Think of it like a triangle:

• Purpose = the destination (Allah’s pleasure & Jannah).

• Knowledge = the map (tells you where to go, how to act).

• Time = the vehicle fuel (your life minutes, once spent, can’t be refilled).

If you have knowledge but waste time → no progress.

If you have time but no knowledge → you wander aimlessly.

If you have both but no sense of purpose → you might reach the wrong destination.

⸻

So, the key is balance: seek knowledge, manage time, always tie it back to purpose. That’s when your life feels meaningful instead of overwhelming.

⸻

Scholars often advise anchoring life around three daily priorities, so you don’t feel scattered:

1. Purpose (ʿIbādah – worship of Allah): Fix your five prayers as the spine of your day, then build everything else around them. This reminds you constantly of your ultimate purpose.

2. Knowledge: Dedicate a small, consistent block of time (even 15–30 minutes) daily to Qur’an, Arabic, or seerah. Over months, it compounds.

3. Time (management & barakah): Guard your mornings—after Fajr is prime time for focus. Avoid long stretches of distraction (social media, idle talk) because those drain barakah from your day.

The idea is not to do everything at once but to structure life, so each pillar has its share daily, even if small.

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You watch the news, you scroll through stories, you see the faces — the faces of people who look like you, cry like you, pray like you — and yet suffer in ways you can’t even begin to comprehend. You want to scream. But there’s no one listening. So instead… you write.

I want to talk about Palestine.

I want to talk about the Palestinians who are being starved and bombed — not just figuratively, but literally. Dying from malnutrition, from trauma, from the kind of violence no human being should ever be subjected to. And what aches me most isn’t just the suffering — it’s the selective silence of those in power, even as the world beneath them cries out, unmoved by humanity.

How did a tiny state like Israel acquire this much unchecked power?

Why are world leaders so crippled and helpless to intervene?

When Ukraine was bombed by Russia, sanctions came like rain. Airspaces were closed. Diplomats condemned.

But when it’s Gaza, the world watches.

Just watches.

The hypocrisy is nauseating.

And perhaps what hurts just as much is my own helplessness, the aching knowledge that I can do nothing but weep, pray, and hope for justice in a world that feels deaf to it. I beg Allah that their lives in the hereafter will be better than what they’re enduring now. That the suffering of their oppressors will be returned a thousandfold. Because Allāh sees everything. And He is Al-ʿAdl — The Most Just.

But it’s not just Gaza.

I watched a YouTube video about an Indian sewer diver who submerges himself daily into human waste — no gloves, no boots, no protection — just for a few coins. Because, as he says, it’s more honourable than begging or stealing.

I watched another about the children in Madagascar mining mica — a shimmering mineral used in making our electronics and makeup. They risk death every day to bring sparkle to a world that doesn’t know their names. And then there’s the Cameroonian sand divers, who plunge into deep waters daily just to feed their families — men risking their lives, not for luxury, not even for comfort, but for basic survival.1

And when asked why, their response is almost always the same:

“It isn’t a matter of choice. It’s either this or starvation.”

No safety nets. No privilege of options. Just survival.

In the face of war and genocide, I know who to blame — the tyrants, the occupiers, the monsters in suits.

But what about these others? These victims of poverty and injustice, forgotten by the world?

Who do I blame for them?

It’s overwhelming.

Because I want to fix it.

I want to pull every child from the mines, every diver from danger, every soul from hunger.

But I can’t.

I’m just one person. And that helplessness eats at me.

What aches even more is knowing that the wealth to change all this exists.

There are people in this very dunya who have more money than they can spend in a hundred lifetimes — people throwing millions at meaningless luxuries, like the latest obsession with designer toys like “labubus,” while others sleep hungry and die silently.

It’s all so… unfair.

And so I ask — again and again:

How can we desire a world that allows this level of suffering?

A world where injustice reins and pain is currency.

A world where the powerful thrive on the broken backs of the poor, where money decides your worth and comfort is a privilege, not a right.

A world where nothing is whole and nothing is pure — not joy, not sadness, not wealth, not even peace.

Because even the poorest man laughs some days, and the richest man cries.

This dunya is flawed by design. It breaks your heart while offering you brief illusions of comfort. And then it breaks it again.

So I no longer desire this world.

I crave something purer.

A place without suffering. Without injustice.

A place where children aren’t starved.

Where no one risks their life for food.

Where bombs do not fall.

Where peace isn’t a fantasy, but a permanent reality.

I crave Jannah.

A place where every tear is repaid with rivers of joy.

Where every broken heart is healed forever.

Where justice is not delayed. Where pain is not endured.

Where the oppressed are raised and honoured.

And where Allāh’s promise is fulfilled.

Oh… how my heart longs for Jannah.

You are hosting billions of obedient little worshipers — each following fitrah, sacrificing themselves for your survival, all in submission to Allāh’s perfect design.

We often think of belief as something abstract, tucked inside our hearts, spoken on our tongues, shown in our deeds. But what if belief lived deeper? Hidden in the quiet obedience of our bodies, in the microscopic worship of our very cells?

Because the truth is this:

Your cells behave like true mu’minīn.

1. Unity and Tawheed (Oneness of Purpose)

Over 30 trillion cells — different in shape, role, and language.

Some speak electricity, like neurons.

Some speak chemistry, like hormones.

Some never speak at all.

Yet all are united in one purpose: you.

Your 30+ trillion cells have different roles:

• Brain cells think.

• Heart cells pump.

• Liver cells detox.

• Immune cells fight.

But all are united by one purpose: keeping YOU alive and functioning — just like how Muslims have different cultures and languages but are united under lā ilāha illa Allāh.

Just like an ummah, they live with divine order and single-minded submission.

No cell worships itself. No organ fights for leadership.

They recognize that their survival depends on cooperation, not ego.

Isn’t that what tawheed looks like?

Fun fact: our organs are just vehicles, and our cells are the drivers. Take the heart, for example — it doesn’t pump blood on its own. Rather, the heart cells work together and collectively pump our blood. (Isn’t that just amazing???)

2. They sacrifice with sincerity.

White blood cells literally die for you.

Neutrophils rush to the front lines of infection and explode to trap invaders.

T-cells commit “suicide” if they might harm you.

Even red blood cells give up their nucleus (their life’s command center) just to carry oxygen for you.

Their reward?

Nothing in return but the pleasure of doing their job — and dying quietly in service.

SubhānAllāh— this is what Allāh created them to do, and they do it without complaint.

So which of the favours of your Lord will you deny???

3. They enjoin good and forbid harm.

Your cells police themselves for your sake:

If a cell becomes rebellious ie it doesn’t respond to signals, or starts dividing selfishly

it’s told to self-destruct. This is called apoptosis.

A cell would rather die than hurt the body it serves. Yes, read that again: a cell would rather die than hurt the body it serves. SubhanaLlah.

There is no corruption tolerated.

Only accountability, mercy, and discipline.

4. They depend on one another (tawakkul).

Cells communicate constantly — through chemical signals like hormones and neurotransmitters. These signals:

• Call for help

• Send instructions

• Warn of danger

• Ask for resources

No cell can function alone.

Muscle cells rely on oxygen from red blood cells.

Neurons need glucose from the liver.

The heart waits for the pacemaker cells to fire.

They pass messages. They send distress calls.

They ask and trust — and they never stop working, even when the body forgets them.

Their duʿā is electric. Their tawakkul is biochemical.

But the sincerity is the same.

5. Sabr and Shukr : They obey without pride.

Your skin cells?

• Scratched? They don’t complain. They regenerate.

• Burned? They rebuild.

• Stretched during growth or pregnancy? They adjust.

• Even in pain? They keep working quietly.

Your cells don’t throw tantrums. They submit with sabr and shukr — because they were made to obey.

They don’t argue.

They don’t delay.

They don’t rebel.

They do what Allāh created them to do — without complaint, without arrogance— which is keeping YOU alive!

SubhānAllāh, so which of the favours of your Lord would you deny???

Final thoughts:

So maybe belief isn’t only in our minds.

Maybe it pulses through our bloodstream, fights infection in our immune cells, and renews us in our skin.

Maybe our cells have been worshipping Ar- Rahman all along — waiting for us to notice.

SubhānAllāh! Alhamdulillah! Allahu Akbar!

Refined using AI collaboration, but all thoughts and reflections are my own.

So a few days ago, I learned that the sun which can fit about 1.3 million Earths, is actually a dwarf star. Yep, you read that right: a DWARF star! and they’re thousands, if not millions, of stars out there into which millions of our Sun could fit into just one. Isn’t that just mind-boggling? It’s so humbling because we’re so tiny! And all of this is still within the first heaven. SubhanaLlah! I remember when I first heard this Hadith

Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, passed through the market from a higher part of the city and people were look at him from both sides. The Prophet passed by the carcass of a one-eared goat and he reached out to take its ear. The Prophet said, “Which one of you would like this for a coin?” They said, “Who among us would want it while it is worth nothing? What would we do with it?” The Prophet said three times, “Would you like to have it?” They said no each time and said, “No, by Allah, if it were alive it would be defective as it only has one ear. How so if it were dead?” The Prophet said, “By Allah, the worldly life is less important to Allah than this is to you.”

Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 962

I was baffled, how can this beautiful Earth be so worthless to Allāh?

But have you seen His other creations beyond our planet????? And that’s just this heaven. What about what lies beyond it??? the second, the third, all the way to the seventh? And even further than what we’re aware of or could ever comprehend! SubhanaLlah!

I am so curious about the other heavens SubhanaLlah how magnificent they must be. Beyond our imagination! And don’t even get me started on Jannah! Allahu Akbar!

This dunya, this earth is nothing (even in terms of beauty) compared to Jannah!

May Al-Khāliq make us among the dwellers of His magnificent Jannatul-Firdaus.

Rabb-ishrah li sadri, wa yassir li 'amri, wah-lul 'uqdatam-min-li-sani, yaf-qahu qawli.

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

We have a serious problem that’s affecting not just Muslim youth, but this entire generation of young people. Absentmindedness, lack of consciousness, and sleepwalking through life. And I’ve written about this before, but it’s a topic we should never grow tired of addressing.

Allah asks in several Ayahs in the Quran, do they not think? do they not ponder? do they not reflect? (4:82, 23:68, 7:184, 22:46…)

Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for people of understanding — those who remember Allah standing, sitting, and lying on their sides, and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth (saying), ‘Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You!’...”
Surah Āli ʿImrān (3:190–191)

Indeed, the worst of creatures in the sight of Allah are the deaf and dumb who do not use reason (ʿaql).
Surah al-Anfāl (8:22)

It’s time we start thinking again, truly thinking.
Not just drifting through routines, but using our Aql — the reason, insight, and understanding Allah gifted us.

Our Aql is what sets us apart from animals. It’s what allows us to reflect, ask and be curious.

But SubhanaLlah, we don’t ask questions anymore. We’re no longer curious. Like the device you’re using to read this newsletter right now, have you ever paused to ask how and why it works? Where electricity even comes from, or how mobile data and social media are functioning behind the scenes?

And SubhanaLlah, we live in an age where access to knowledge is easier than ever, with Google, AI, YouTube, and more at our fingertips.
Yet we’ve stopped being curious.

We aren’t even curious about our own bodies anymore. Like why do we need food and what happens to it after we eat it? (i.e. how do the cells in our body utilize it?) Or how you're even able to see and read this newsletter right now (i.e. how your brain and eyes are working together to make this possible. SubhanaLlah.)

Using our Aql and reflecting on Allah’s creations, around and within us, helps strengthen our faith, increases our gratitude and awe of Allah, and most importantly, makes us love Him and want to know Him more deeply. Because if you don’t reflect and use your Aql then how can you say SubhanaLlah and truly mean it? Or Allahu Akbar and truly feel it? When we glorify Allah, we’re not meant to just repeat words but feel it in our hearts. We need to be in awe of Him and for that we need to be conscious and not absentminded.

In my quest to strive for Khushoo in Salah, I realized that one of the main reasons many of us lack it, as mentioned in a hadith1 of the Prophet ﷺ, is our absentmindedness.

We rush through Fatihah and do not reflect on Allah’s response. (do we even realize we’re conversing with Allah?2)

Salah is dhikr3, a form of remembering and glorifying Allah, yet we often go through it without reflecting or feeling its meaning in our hearts. To truly reflect on every dhikr and dua we recite, we must be in awe of Allah and that awe begins with mindfulness.

And it’s not just in salah, it’s in every act of worship. Which is why these hadiths hit hard every time I hear them:

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"A man may return from his prayer, and nothing of it is recorded for him except one tenth of it, one ninth, one eighth, one seventh, one sixth, one fifth, one quarter, one third, or half."
— Abū Dāwūd 796

There are people who fast and get nothing from their fasting except hunger and thirst. And there are those who stand (in night prayer) and get nothing from their standing except sleeplessness."
— Sunan Ibn Mājah 1690

For the betterment of our deen, we need to relearn mindfulness and revive our sense of curiosity.

I leave you with this dua:

I realize that I didn’t formally introduce my new series “Sawfy’s melancholic musings”.

So here we go.

I have been struggling with depression for a few years now and though I’m mostly better now, I wouldn’t say I’m completely cured.

At my lowest, I wrote, I wrote to quiet my mind, to let it out. I wrote to feel heard, to feel seen, to understand better how I was feeling and why I was feeling the way i was feeling.

Most of these pieces were written in my depressive state.

Most of these pieces are from months ago and I just feel they’re too beautiful not to share, to die in my notes app.

Sawfy’s melancholic musings is an outlet where this side of me can finally feel seen.

I’m doing this for me.

I want to start this newsletter by sharing a piece I wrote during one of my depressive lows, so you’ll have a better idea of how I feel during these episodes.

Depression is that unexpected and unwanted guest that comes and drains all the light from your life, leaving you in darkness, and filling your heart with a void, making you feel incomplete, like a mess, without knowing exactly why.

There are times when you think you’ve overcome your depression, only for it to come back and take away all the light and sweetness you managed to restore, replacing them with an overwhelming darkness and bitterness.

And now you want to cry, but you don’t know why. You’re fantasizing about jumping off a cliff, even though you were happy with your life just yesterday. ‘Just jump, and it’ll all be over,’ the voice tells you.

‘But what’s on the other side?’ Not even that voice knows.

You see the smile and light on everyone’s faces and wish you could feel that happy and at peace too.

When did your life turn into this endless pit of enveloping darkness, devoid of light?

A quiet mind you miss. Now your mind is filled with all these voices that just won’t shut up!

Now you suspect you’re losing your mind or maybe you lost it a while ago.

And no one seems to notice the battle you’re fighting inside. That you’ve lost the light in you life. That you wish you didn’t exist. That you feel more dead than alive lately.

You know depression has a color.

On days I’m feeling depressed everything turns gray and monotonous.

But on days I’m not feeling depressed the colors return.

The moment I open my eyes everyday, that’s the first thing I check. What color’s today?

There’re two voices in my head: the hopeless and the slightly hopeful.

The hopeless wants me to end everything prays for death in fact.

The hopeful begs me not to, cries that she’s scared of what comes after death.

“When does it all end?” “not soon I hope we can’t die yet not when we haven’t lived”

I don’t know which voice is mine or if I’m even in there or just a spectator watching them from a far like some stalker.

I hated how depressed I was, I hated myself for doing nothing about it, I hated myself for being depressed, I hated myself for not being happy, for not being like everyone else.

I looked at others and wish I had what they had a peaceful mind that didn’t tear them apart.

A mind that wasn’t filled with emptiness threatening to swallow them whole.

For having it all together or atleast being able to make it look like they had it all together. For being sane.

Sanity, how many times have I questioned my own sanity?

I’d hate how untidy my room was. I’d hate myself for not cleaning, I’d try to clean then break into tears cuz cleaning my room is easy but cleaning my mind? kicking depression out? that’s hard.

The state of my room is usually a reflection of the state of my mind if it’s tidy I’m sane if it’s not I’m depressed.

I make a timetable which I know I won’t follow and plan my day. I’d hate myself every time I got a notification reminding me what I should be doing at this moment, this moment that I’m glued to my bed. I’d hate myself for setting those reminders even tho I knew I won’t follow them.

When it all gets too much I start a series. I binge watch until I forget my worries my anxiety my depression. It’s an escape I’m grateful for.

I hated my friends and everyone around me for not noticing, for believing my mask, for not asking if I was ok. then I’d hate myself for saying “I was fine everything’s fine” when they do ask.

NB: Just wanted to share here that I am not suicidal. So this isn’t a cry for help. And me being able to share this means that in some way I have healed. sort of.

Also if this piece meant something to you, l'd be grateful if you left a like or a comment. It helps more than you know.

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If I were to view myself as a plant, I’d say I’m a cactus.

At first glance I look unapproachable like I’d prick you if you dared to touch me.

But look closer and you’ll realise I bear beautiful vibrant flowers.

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If I were to view myself as an animal, I’d say I’m a koala that enjoys her own company and like to do things at her own pace.

I can be lazy too and I hate being rushed. Though I often wish I was a bird so I can soar the sky and fly away from my life. But I am no bird for I do not feel free.

I see myself as a free spirit trapped in a body glued to the ground.

I see myself as a body of water with no control over what cup I’ll fill next.

I want to move but I have no legs.

I want to fly but I have no wings.

So I just sit there waiting for someone to turn me into a different cup.

But no one comes so I sit there unwanted, untouched, alone with no idea where I am.

If my life were a book, it’ll be a boring one and that saddens me.

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I don’t even remember when I stopped writing because I loved it and started writing for engagement instead. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting likes and interactions. But I reached a point where I wasn’t writing what I truly wanted—I was writing what I thought would get more likes. And when I did pour my heart out into a post, only for it to get little engagement, I felt heartbroken. I deleted so many posts because of this… until eventually, I stopped writing altogether.

That’s why I haven’t written for almost a year now. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I kept wondering, what’s the point if no one likes it?

But not anymore.

From today, I’ll write what I truly want. I’ve also republished all the posts I once deleted just because they didn’t get enough engagement. They mattered to me then, and they still do now.

Another truth: I’ve struggled to connect with you, my subscribers. I’ve tried, but the truth is, I don’t even know how to. I see other newsletters—how engaging they are, how they’ve built communities—and I wish for something similar.

I may not have that yet, but in shaa Allah, I’ll keep writing from the heart. For myself, for anyone who resonates, and for the love of it.

Special shoutout to Tiya’s Love Letter, which inspired me to write this short newsletter.

Z was gone.

At first, it didn’t feel real. My ears couldn’t believe what they were hearing, and my mind refused to process it. How could she be gone? I had just seen her. We had just shared the same spaces, breathed the same air. She was supposed to go home, rest, and wake up the next day like the rest of us. But she didn’t.

I kept replaying our last moments together, how offhandedly I waved goodbye, not knowing it would be the last time. Our last conversation, the last words we shared… she was really gone.

And yet, my mind refused to accept it. I kept replaying it in my head, over and over, the disbelief, the confusion, the heaviness in my chest. It felt like the world had shifted, like I had been pulled into some alternate reality where life just… ends. Just like that.

And then came the grief. The realization that I would never see her again. Never hear her voice, never run into her in class, never share a moment of laughter on our way home. Just gone. Buried beneath the earth, while the rest of us continued living as if nothing happened.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how easily it could have been me. We usually went home together. What if I had been on that bus? What if my name had been the one people were whispering about? What if my soul had been the one taken while I was still so unprepared?

Was she prepared?

That’s when the fear settled in. Not just the fear of death, but the fear of what comes after. The grave. The questioning. The reality of the Barzakh.

I keep wondering—what was on her mind as the realization hit that her time was up? Was she satisfied? Were there things she wished she could change? Was she scared, or was she at peace with the life she had lived?

Sometimes, I find myself thinking back to the last day we spoke. I wish I could have warned her. Would she have listened? What would she have done differently?

Her death shook me in ways I can’t fully explain. It forced me to look at myself, at my life. If I had died in the state I was in, what would I have to show for it? Nothing. I wasn’t truly living for this world or the next—I was just existing, drowning in my own misery.

For so long, I had been chasing things that wouldn’t even matter in the end. I let my love and desire for this world blind me from why I was really here (—for the umpteenth time. How do I keep falling into the same trap?).

But after Z’s death, it all became clear, nothing in this dunya is truly ours. Not our dreams, not our possessions, not even our own lives. It can all be taken in a second.

When our time comes, everything we chased in this world—our ambitions, our status, our belongings—won’t matter. The only thing that will matter is what we’ve sent ahead for the Akhirah.

So how do we make sure we leave this world ready for the next?

In the end, what truly matters is how well we’ve prepared for the Akhirah and how much we’ve strived for Jannah.

I pray Allāh forgives her, grants her ease in the grave, and reunites us in a place where there is no grief, no pain—only eternal peace.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuhu

I’ve been wanting to write this for a while, but I just… couldn’t. Every time I tried, I felt stuck. Like putting it into words would make it too real. Like once I wrote about it, I’d have to accept that she’s really gone.

I won’t pretend we were the closest of friends, but her absence lingers in ways I didn’t expect. I still find myself looking for her face in the crowd. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of someone dressed like her and, for a second, I think it’s her, even though I know it isn’t. It’s strange how someone can be here one moment and then just… gone.

I’m still in shock. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to write this. I didn’t know how. I didn’t have the strength. I still don’t know if I do. But I knew I needed to. And I hope, in some way, this serves as a reminder, not just for me, but for you too.

Life is fleeting and none of us know how much time we have left. May we use whatever remains in a way that pleases Allah (SWT).

May Allāh (SWT) accept her deeds, expand her grave, and make it a garden from the gardens of Jannah. And may He grant us the ability to live in a way that prepares us for our own meeting with Him.

And may this Ramadan be a time of reflection, growth, and closeness to Allāh for all of us.

Ever noticed how we’re just sleepwalking through life? or have you been too absentminded to notice; How we aren’t paying attention to the things around us because we’re too distracted by our phone, too busy scrolling and when we’re not we’re too busy thinking about the next distraction. These distractions are having a profound effect on our consciousness.

Our inattentiveness is the reason why we sometimes forget to say BismiLlah before eating and AlhamduliLlah after. And why we forget to say the azkar for entering/ leaving our house/toilet. We even pray absentmindedly. That’s why sometimes we forget what rakaah we’re on or what surah we read in the first rakaah. Sometimes we even forget to recite a surah after fatiha because our mind isn’t there. We’re praying but our mind is on the next distraction.

If you believe you’re a conscious, present-minded person, then you shouldn’t have any trouble remembering what surah you read during fajr prayer today.

So tell me, How can we be Allāh conscious, when we ourselves are not conscious? When we aren’t even conscious of our own environment?

Have you ever observed how the sky transitions from blue to black as the sun sets, or from black to blue as the sun rises, and the various colors it morphs into? Yet it occurs everyday.

Or how beautiful the stars are as they’re sprinkled across the black sky complementing the moon.

Even as you eat, do you appreciate your food? Take in the aroma? Carefully chewing each mouthful and thanking Allāh for today’s meal as they’re many out there with no food to eat?

When last did you sit down and contemplate Allāh’s many creations that surround you? or even appreciate His many blessings towards you? Like your eyes, ears, legs, hands etc. can you imagine a life without them? Many were born without one or two of these yet Allāh blessed you with them. Or Is it after you lose them that you’ll realize what blessings they’re?

A lot of things we take for granted, are luxuries for some people. Like simply being able to walk, to see, to hear. SubhanaLlah.

Are you aware of the many processes occurring in your body right now? Like Our hearts and how it beats about 100,000 times a day just to keep us alive? or our cells and how they work together to ensure the full functioning of our bodies? or what happens to the oxygen you just inhaled?

Subhan’Allah we’re alive and healthy yet we aren’t truly alive. We’re unconscious, ignorant of why we’re here and how to manage our precious time.

Shaytaan is not only stealing our time but also our consciousness!

A little Daily exercise:

1. Get a journal or you could simply use your notes app. Take a moment off your screen and observe your surrounding. Write down what you see, what you hear, what you observe and what you feel.

2. About 30min to an hour before Salah drop your phone and rid yourself of any distraction. Read the Quran, do your Dhikr, check the meaning of the dua you say in your Salah; when you’re in sujud or in rukuuh etc. Take your mind off the dunya and its affairs and think only of Allāh, why you’re here and the importance of salah. This should help you stay more alert while praying.

May Allāh guide us and keep us on the straight path.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuhu.

In the name of Allah I begin;

***

So, I had a little realization this morning, I was unhappy and I was struggling to figure out why. My life isn’t perfect, no one’s is, but I am blessed, alhamdulillah, with good food, health, a home, a loving family etc.

At first I thought the reason why I wasn’t happy was because I didn’t like the way my life was going (ie not happy with Allāh’s decree for me). But as I queried myself more, I realized my problem wasn’t just my lack of contentment with Allāh’s decree, but what my definition of happiness was.

What I mean is, Allāh knows this is what’s best for me, but, I’m struggling to accept that because this is not making me happy, if so so and so had happened instead, I would have been happier (or atleast that's what i thought).

Basically, when Allāh decrees something for us that we’re not happy with, even though we know He knows best and He only decrees what is best for us, we struggle to accept that it's truly what's best for us because our definition of ‘best’ is often different from Allāh’s definition of ‘best’.

From the imaan lens, best is not what makes us happy or pleases in this dunya but what benefits us in the Akhira, what increases our rank in the Akhira (the hereafter).

Sawfiyah, this dunya is worthless to Allāh;

Jābir (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) passed through the market with people around him. He came across a dead goat with its ears cut off. He held it by (the remaining part of) one ear and said: "Who of you would like to have this for one dirham?" They said: "We do not like to have it for anything whatsoever. What shall we do with it?" Then he said: "Would you like to have it anyway?'' They said: "By Allah, had it been alive, it would be of little value because of its cut ears. How could it be worth anything when it is dead?" Thereupon he said: "By Allah, this dunya is less worthy to Allah than this is to you.''  

Sahih/Authentic. - [Muslim]

Yet it means so much to you. You need to let go of your love for this dunya to truly BE happy. Free yourself. If your happiness lies here then you’ll keep struggling with accepting Allāh’s decree because His decree will not always be what favors your dunya but what favors your akhira. Leave this dunya to the disbelievers, it’s their Jannah.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the unbeliever.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2956

Your Jannah is in the akhira and this dunya can’t even compare!

So Happiness to you should be closeness to Allāh ﷻ, knowing Him, loving Him, pleasing Him, Trusting Him and obeying Him Subhanahu wa-ta'ala.

As a wise man once said;

"How pitiful, the worldly people! They leave this life without ever having tasted the sweetest thing in it." When asked what that was, he replied, "The love of Allah, the knowledge of Allah and the remembrance of Allah"

JazakhaLlahu khair for reading and May Allah Bless your day.

ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّٰهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

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Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.

We all know the struggle of spiritual connection especially when you’re surrounded by so many distractions. The on and off relationship with Allāh (SWT). The struggle to go back to Him (SWT) when you realise how lost you’ve been and how disconnected you’ve been from Him (SWT). When you don’t feel the peace in salah anymore because you’ve strayed so far. I used to find it so frustrating how one day I have such a strong relationship with Allāh and then another I feel so lost, struggling to find my way back to Him. It’s especially more difficult to stay on track because we’re surrounded by so many distractions (our phones being the biggest) and the people we surround ourselves with (when the people around you are also distracted and distant from Allāh, you find it more difficult to find your way back to Him).

But the thing is, this is a never ending struggle. Shaytan will keep trying to shake our faith, he will keep tirelessly trying to distract us, so we also have to keep tirelessly running back to Allah (SWT), His doors will always be open.

My relationship with Allāh won’t always be perfect or smooth but I have to keep striving, keep trying to become a better version of myself. It’s ok, I will slip but it’s not about the fall but the effort I put into getting back up. That’s the test.

I just want to remind you; To keep fighting and to never give up. To keep checking yourself and to become more aware of the choices/decisions you make (ie will this strain my relationship with Allāh?). To surround yourself with reminders. To surround yourself with people that help you get closer to Allah, that advise you when they see you straying from the right path.

I want you to know that your relationship with Allāh won’t always be perfect and that’s ok. I want you to try to reconnect with Him, when you realise you’re lost rather than beating yourself up about it. Don’t let shaytan make you feel hopeless. Keep fighting him because he never gives up and neither should you because once you give up, you let him win. And remember Allah will always lead you back to Him you just have to want to come back to Him and be willing to put in the effort.

***

A mental exercise:

I want you to check yourself, sit down and think about the last time you felt disconnected/ distant from Allāh; what was the root cause?

Once you find out what caused it the last time, try to find a solution so you don’t fall into the same trap next time.

For me it’s either social media or trying to “relate” more with my friends when I realise I have nothing more in common with them. When I’m connected with Allāh I tend to delete all my socials and focus only on my relationship with Him.

I think what I need to do is to find a balance.

I understand now that I can have a relationship with Allāh while still having a social life. All I need to do, is to be more careful the contents I consume and how much of it I consume.

May Allāh strengthen our imaan and make His religion easy for us. Amīn🤲.

Ma'a salaam 👋.

Lecture recommendations on yt;

Reconnecting with your lord by Dr Haifa Younis

In the name of Allah the All knowing the all wise I start ;

A few days ago, while I was outdoors, the sun was so hot, I felt like I was literally being roasted by it and the fact that the sun is about 150.53 million km away yet it was so hot, subhanaLlah.

Anyway, I couldn’t help imagining a world without the sun. I do that sometimes. When I dislike something (eg flies) i try to imagine what the world would be like without it (i don’t dislike the sun btw, it was mostly out of curiosity that the thought came to me).

Well a world without the sun would be catastrophic because without the sun (which has many more importance), the plants wouldn’t be able to photosynthesize and produce oxygen which is vital for our survival on earth. And without plants we wouldn’t be able to survive either and equally they wouldn’t survive with out us because with out the carbon dioxide we exhale they wouldn’t be able to photosynthesize. And subhanaLlah when you think of it that way you realise that:

1. A lot of things earth are interdependent.

2. Every thing on earth serves a purpose.

A few examples of (1);

• When a cow feeds on grass it leaves its faeces (cow dung) which serves as a manure and fertilises the land.

• Flowering plants rely heavily on insects and other animals for pollination. While the plant-pollinator receives nectar or fruit from the plant, it also collects and transfers pollen in the process.

• Clownfish and sea anemones have a mutualistic relationship in which each party provides valuable services for the other. Sea anemones are attached to rocks in their aquatic habitats and catch prey by stunning them with their poisonous tentacles. Clownfish are immune to the anemone's poison and actually live within its tentacles. Clownfish clean the anemone's tentacles keeping them free from parasites. They also act as bait by luring fish and other prey within striking distance of the anemone. The sea anemone provides protection for the clownfish, as potential predators stay away from its stinging tentacles.

• Bacteria live in the intestines and on the body of humans and other mammals. The bacteria receive nutrients and housing, while their hosts receive digestive benefits and protection against pathogenic microbes. These bacteria aid in the digestion of organic compounds that otherwise would not be digested. They also produce vitamins and hormone-like compounds. In addition to digestion, these bacteria are important to the development of a healthy immune system. The bacteria benefit from the partnership by having access to nutrients and a safe place to grow.1

Every single thing on this planet has a purpose from the sun to even the tiniest insects.

Yes including flies.

Flies are more than just a nuisance. These buzzing insects also play important roles in nature, including pollinating plants, breaking down organic material, and serving as food for other bugs and animals. If flies went extinct the planet would fill up with excrement and rotting flesh. This is because they are decomposers. Their larvae are cleaning up after us and the adults are pollinating for us.2

And ants?

Ants scavenge on tiny organisms and prey on insects larger than them – this behavior helps create an ecological balance. If ants went extinct, the food chain would collapse, and it would affect every organism. The ant is a very valuable insect. Ants are diggers, they turn over the soil, aerate the soil with their tunnels, tunnels that allow water to soak into the soil easier. Ants also help disperse seeds of many native plants. The ants collect the seeds and return to the nest.3

And cockroaches?

A lack of cockroaches would seriously mess with something called the nitrogen cycle. Here’s it is in a nutshell: cockroaches eat decaying matter, trapping nitrogen in their poop, which is then released into the soil when they go number 2. Without that nitrogen-rich poop feeding our environment, we’d be in serious trouble. Think of no plants, crops, food…So, what can we take away from this? We humans really really need cockroach poop to survive. — how humbling lol.4

Clouds

Clouds are very important and help make the Earth habitable. Clouds can cool the planet by absorbing the sun's rays radiating it to space, & warming the planet especially on cold cloudy nights.

Thunderstorms

even though thunderstorms are dangerous, they can be a great help. They give summer water, cool the earth, and clean the air. Lightning balances the earth's electricity and helps fertilize the soil. And after a thunderstorm, sometimes there is a rainbow.5

If there’s any animal you think has no purpose or importance on this earth then you can simply google what would happen if they went extinct? (It’s actually a fun and educative exercise.) And you’ll realise that everything is there for a reason. Though some animals are more important than others they’re still important. And we wouldn’t know how important some animals are until they actually become extinct.

when honestly addressing the question of what happens if any species on the Earth went extinct, we simply do not know. Yes, there are some consequences that can reasonably be speculated– good and bad. However, if a species of animals on the planet were eliminated there would be both unexpected and unintended consequences.

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JazhaLlahu khair, I hope atleast one person learns something new from this.

Assalamu alaykum👋.

And a lot of people keep saying they can’t (ie they can’t memorise the Quran, they can’t wake up on time for fajr etc) but it’s not true, you can; you just don’t want to.

What I wrote here was wrong (about some people at least) so I want to correct myself and help another struggling soul in shaa Allah.

So Bismillah

***

And sometimes it might be that you want to and you’ve tried but couldn’t and then gave up.

I can’t remember where I read this story or how exactly it was told but I think it went something like this.

So there was a man that wanted to learn the language of the Quran but he found it was too difficult for him so he gave up. So one day as he was going about his day he saw an ant that was trying to climb the wall. The ant was so persistent, it’ll try to climb the wall and fall then it will try again and fall yet again and try again until it was finally able to climb the wall. And the man thought to himself that this ant had so much determination to climb this wall that it kept trying until it finally did, yet he tried to learn Arabic once and was unable to and gave up. From that moment he promised himself to  learn Arabic and not give up and subhanaLlah he worked so hard he became an Arabic lecturer.

So the lesson I want us to take from this story is that no matter how difficult it is, keep trying don’t give up and in shaa Allah with the aid of Allah you’ll be able to achieve your goal.

What inspired me to write this was the fact that I was also struggling to achieve a goal I’d set for myself and I was just crying about my incompetence when I remembered reading this somewhere and it made me realise that I shouldn’t give up and I should pick myself up and try harder and if I fall short again then I should pick myself up and try twice as hard, learning from my past mistake and thus progressing because Allāh is worth the hard work, Jannah is worth it.

Any time I feel like giving up again, I’ll remember why I’m doing this in the first place and I’ll remember it’s not going to be easy because nothing good comes easy.

اَللّٰهُمَّ أَعِنِّيْ عَلَىٰ ذِكْرِكَ وَشُكْرِكَ وَحُسْنِ عِبَادَتِكَ.

Allāhumma aʿinnī ʿalā dhikrika wa shukrika wa ḥusni ʿibādatik.

O Allah, help me in remembering You, in being grateful to You, and in worshipping You in an excellent manner.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.

I was on Twitter yesterday and I saw a tweet about three young men that lost their lives yesterday on Eid and subhanaLlah it really hit me, cuz I couldn’t help thinking about how on Thursday the last day of Ramadan they thought they’d be able to celebrate Eid not knowing they were going to die the next day. It could’ve been me who died yesterday on Eid or you.

Live each day as your last, Death will come unannounced so be prepared.

Are you prepared? Are you ready for death?

No right?

And Ibn Umar (RahiyAllahu ‘anhuma) used to say, “In the evening do not expect [to live until] the morning, and in the morning do not expect [to live until] the evening. Take [advantage of] your health before times of sickness, and [take advantage of] your life before your death.”

[Reported by Bukhari]

When are we planning on becoming better Muslims? When are we planning on pleasing Allāh?

When are you planning on pleasing the one who feeds you everyday? Who keeps you alive and healthy? Who blessed you with a loving family and friends? When? When are you planning on pleasing the one whose blessings you’re using to to disobey Him, to distract yourself?

Why do you keep wasting time?

Why do the Muslims of this generation settle for the bare minimum. Haven’t you read about the sahabah? Doesn’t their commitment and dedication make you want to do better?

Do you not know that the life of the akhira is better than this dunya?

Ghafir 40:39

O my people, this worldly life is only [temporary] enjoyment, and indeed, the Hereafter - that is the home of [permanent] settlement.

Al-Hadid 57:20

Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children -  like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.

Don’t you realise you could die any day any time?

It’s because we don’t actually deep it that we can die at any moment. It’s like we know we can but we don’t believe we could die at any moment because if we did we wouldn’t behave like this.

We keep praying to Allah take our life when He’s most pleased with us but when are we planning on pleasing Him?

Do you expect Allāh to wait for you to please Him?

How can you not have time for the one who created time?

And a lot of people keep saying they can’t (ie they can’t memorise the Quran, they can’t wake up on time for fajr etc) but it’s not true, you can; you just don’t want to. You can’t wake up for fajr but you can wake up on time for work or school? You can’t memorise the Quran but you can memorise books for an exam? But you can memorise lyrics of your favourite songs by heart?

Quit making excuses for yourself. When you want something you work for it.

Isn’t Allah worth working hard for?

No? But making money and becoming wealthy is, right?

Try to do better;

•Read the Quran everyday even if it’s one page a day.

•Glorify Allah everyday even if it’s a hundred times.

•Pray on time.

•Read your morning and evening adhkar.

•Limit how much you use social media and if you can’t then simply get rid of it especially if it’s not benefiting you in any way but only further distracting you. It won’t be easy but Jannah is worth the sacrifice. Allāh is worth the sacrifice.

You can do this and more but the question is, are you willing to try?

Are you willing to work for Jannah or is this dunya enough for you?

Ad-Dhuhaa 93:4

وَلَلۡأٓخِرَةُ خَيۡرٌ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلۡأُولَىٰ

And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].

Don’t you love Allah? Don’t you want to please Him?

They say when you love someone you would do literally anything to please that person. So let that sink in because perhaps you don’t love Allah as much as you keep telling yourself because then you wouldn’t be able to disobey Him because if you love Him you’d be able to make sacrifices for Him.

The sahabah truly loved Allāh and you could see it in their actions.

It’s not too late to do the right thing.

It’ll only be too late when the angel of death comes for you. Or when the doors of forgiveness are closed

Allah accepts a slave’s repentance unless his death approaches.” [At-Tirmithi]

“Whosoever turns to Allah in repentance before the sun rises in the West, Allah will forgive him.” [Ahmad]

“…And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, that you might succeed.” (Q24:31)

“…Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”(Q2:222)

May Allāh guide us to the right path. Ameen.

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِىْ الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِىْ الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَّقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

“Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”

I don’t really have much to write, I just want to share a few reminders in shaa Allāh.

I was going through my notes app and I came across this story my sister shared with me a few months ago.

I don’t really know how authentic it is but it’s a beautiful story about the greatness of Allah’s mercy.

500 Years of Worship

Angel Jibrail (as) told Rasulullah (peace be upon him) the follwing incident about a man in the past who worshipped Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ continuously for 500 years. He was granted a shelter on top of a mountain that was surrounded by salty water. However, Allah caused a stream of sweet water to flow through the mountain for that individual. The man would drink from this water and use it to make ablution. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ also raised a pomegranate tree from which the man would eat one fruit every day. One day, this person supplicated to Allah that, Oh Allah, bring my death while I am in the state of prostration. Allah accepted this dua of his. Whenever Jibrail (as) came down to the Earth. he found this man prostrating to Allah.

Jibrail (as) said that on the day of Judgement, Allah will tell the angels to take this individual to Paradise through His mercy. However, this man will insist that he should enter paradise through the good deeds that he had performed. Then, Allah will tell the angels to compare his good deeds with the blessings that were given to him in the world. It will be seen that 500 years of his worship is not even equal to the gift of eye sight that was given to him by Allah. The angels will be asked to take him towards the hell fire. Then the man will plead, Oh Allah! Enter me into Paradise only through Your mercy. At that point, the following discussion will take place between Allah and that man.

Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ : Oh my servant, who created you?

The worshipper: Oh Allah, You have created me.

Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ : Were you created because of the good deeds you have done or because of My mercy?

The worshipper: Because of Your mercy.

Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ : Who granted you the ability to worship for 500 years?

The worshipper: Oh the Almighty! You have granted me that ability.

Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ : Who placed you on the mountain surrounded by the ocean? Who caused a stream of sweet water to flow in between the salty water? Who caused a pomegranate tree to grow for you? Who granted you death while in the state of prostration?

The worshipper: Oh the Sustainer of the Worlds! You have done all of these.

Then Allah will say, “All these have happened due to my mercy and you too will enter Paradise only through my Mercy.”

“500 years of his worship is not even equal to the gift of eye sight”

Subhan’Allah, the Mercy of Allah is more than we can COMPREHEND.

How conscious are we of Allāh’s blessings?

Have you thanked Allah today? for your eyesight, for your health, for food and accommodation?

We take so much for granted SubhanAllah.

I was watching an episode of Ali Hammuda’s A Life with Allāh series (which I highly recommend to everyone) and on this particular episode he was talking about Allah’s beautiful name Al Jabbar. He spoke about so many blessings Allah bestowed upon us with out us having to stress about it. My favourite example he gave was when he spoke about how our body heals wound. The way the cells work together to heal our wound. It was truly beautiful and amazing.

The human body itself is truly amazing. So many things happen inside our body that we aren’t aware of, that are keeping us alive and it’s how we don’t have to monitor it or stress about it, it just happens with out any work on our side. Like the digestion of food or the pumping of blood by our heart or how energy is distributed in our body (in form of ATP) and etc. Allāh takes care of it for us. SubhanAllah. You should read about how these cells work together to keep our body functioning, it’s like they have a mind of their own. It’s just simply amazing. ALLAHU AKBAR!

Rabbi awzini an ashkura nimatakallati anamta alayya wa ala walidayya wa an amala ṣalihan tarḍah, wa aṣlih li fi dhuriyyati, inni tubtu ilayka wa inni minalmuslimin.

My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.

Q46:15

Normally, female animals give birth to young — not males. However, the rule is almost always proven wrong by its exception, and seahorses are the lucky winners of this particular exception.

Seahorses, seadragons and pipefishes are small marine fishes in the family Syngnathidae that have the unusual habit of leaving the gestation of their young to the males. They do this in a uterus-like pouch — complete with a placenta found in their tails.

You might be wondering why a male seahorse is male if he has a uterus and placenta. He might be an anomaly, but just like other male animals on planet Earth, male seahorses produce sperm instead of eggs. The female seahorse impregnates the male by inserting her eggs into a pouch on the front of his tail, into which he releases sperm to fertilize the eggs and incubate the babies for 24 days. Their pouch provides oxygen and nutrients, as well as regulates temperature, blood flow, and salinity for the developing eggs.

Contractions

When the time comes to give birth, the male begins to experience a form of contractions that essentially push the hatched babies out of his brood pouch and into the water. Contractions could last for 12 hours for some species. During the birth process, the male seems to be making a forward-then-backward motion over and over again. Within only a few hours of releasing his offspring, the male’s brood pouch shrinks back to normal size and he can receive more eggs from his mate who is usually busy producing another batch of eggs. Watch a male seahorse give birth.

A seahorse father can give birth to as many as 1000 babies at a time.

Other amazing facts about sea horses:

Seahorses are among the most unique and interesting animals that can be found beneath the surface of the ocean.

They are tiny in size

seahorses are known for their tiny size. But how small are we talking? Well, that depends.

The smallest species of sea horse is the Hippocampus satomiae, which as an adult has an average length of only 13.8 mm (smaller than an average human fingernail).

They have at least 30 meals a day yet they have no stomach or teeth

They eat almost constantly. Since they have neither teeth nor stomachs, food passes through their small bodies very quickly, so they have to eat at least 30 meals per day. Their digestive systems work so quickly that food moves too rapidly through their bodies to absorb much nutrition.

Their eyes work independently of one another

seahorse can look backwards and forwards at the same time. This is possible because their eyes work independently of each other, which is useful when looking out for predators while consuming one of their many meals.

Amazing camouflage ability

To help them blend into the background, seahorses can change their colour to match their surroundings. They also grow small protrusions, known as cirri, that can mimic moss, algae and other plants.

Seahorses are so good at changing colour and shape that even scientists have a tough time identifying them. It doesn’t help that there are at least 54 different species of seahorse to choose from.

They mate for life

Seahorses are also among only a few other fish species that mate for life. They renew this bonding every day with a courtship display that can last for hours.

They are fishes despite their appearance but terrible swimmers.

This is largely due to their bulky bodies and their unusual fin arrangement. Unlike most fish, seahorses rely on just one small dorsal fin on their back for propulsion and tiny pectoral fins at the side of their heads for steering.

Like I said in my post earlier, Allāh created every creature in such a unique way, AL KHALIQ 🥹.

Ghafir - 40:81

وَيُرِيكُمۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ فَأَىَّ ءَايَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ تُنكِرُونَ

And He shows you His signs. So which of the signs of Allah do you deny?

Jellyfishes are fascinating, elegant, and mysterious to watch in the water — I had a weird hobby of watching videos of them in the water on yt, they’re just so pretty and fascinating to watch.

Jellyfishes don’t have a heart, blood, or even a brain. They don’t have bones or lungs/gills either.

So how does a jellyfish live without these vital organs?

Their skin is so thin that they can absorb oxygen right through it, so they don’t need lungs/gills. They don’t have any blood so they don’t need a heart to pump it. And they respond to the changes in their environment around them using signals from a nerve net just below their epidermis - the outer layer of skin - that is sensitive to touch, so they don’t need a brain to process complex thoughts.

Imagine if you could just split in half and create a second version of yourself?😃

If you cut a jellyfish in half, the pieces of the jellyfish can regenerate and turn into two new jellies. —SubhanAllah 😃.

Some jellyfishes have super long tentacles

The lion’s mane jellyfish is the world’s largest jellyfish species. It can have tentacles that are over 27 meters long - longer than the size of the blue whale which is the biggest mammal in the world! — wow 😮.

Most live for only a few weeks, but some are known to survive a year or longer.

Jellyfishes are between 85% and 98% water. If they wash up on land, they’ll almost disappear as their water evaporates.

The adults are either male or female, but in some species they change their sex as they age.

The immortal Jellyfish

The Turritopsis dohrnii, popularly known as the immortal jellyfish is a species of jellyfish about 4.5 millimetres wide and tall (likely making it smaller than the nail on your little finger 😮), that can actually reverse its life cycle.

When the medusa (adult jellyfish) of this species is physically damaged or experiences stresses such as starvation, instead of dying it shrinks in on itself, reabsorbing its tentacles and losing the ability to swim. It then settles on the seafloor as a blob-like cyst. — amazing 🤯.

Over the next 24-36 hrs, this blob develops into a new polyp - the jellyfish's previous life stage - and after maturing, medusa bud off. This phenomenon has been likened to that of a butterfly which, instead of dying, would be able to transform back into a caterpillar and then metamorphose into an adult butterfly once again.

The process behind the jellyfish's remarkable transformation is called transdifferentiation and is extremely rare. It’s only known to occur in this type of jellyfish.

This life cycle reversal can be repeated, and in perfect conditions, it may be that these jellyfish would never die of old age.

Can immortal jellyfish die?

An immortal jellyfish may bend the rules to rejuvenate itself, but it can't always cheat death. For example, jellyfish, including immortal ones, are prey to other animals, such as fish and turtles.

How and what do jellyfishes eat?

They feed on planktons, crustaceans and plants— when they’re young.

They trap their prey within their stingers. These stingers will then paralyze their prey.

The jellyfish will then swallow the their prey whole, absorbing nutrients such as protein and omega acids as it digests. 

Allāh created every creature in such a unique way. Not only are these creatures pretty to look at, they were created in such a fascinating manner with amazing characteristics. Say ALLĀHU AKBAR, for truly Allah (SWT) is the GREATEST!

Ghafir - 40:81

وَيُرِيكُمۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ فَأَىَّ ءَايَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ تُنكِرُونَ

And He shows you His signs. So which of the signs of Allah do you deny?