✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

if you ask me “what’s the biggest dream in your life?”, i’ll say “Paris”.

i want to Paris. i think, many people want to Paris. but this is a very sensitive topic for me. and it’s becoming more sensitive with each passing year. the older i get, the more it gets covered with a layer of fairy dust. so i can’t help but write about it - not just about the city of my dreams; about my personal wonderland.

Paris has been my main dream since my early childhood. i actually don’t know what was the reason for it, but country with the purring name “France” has always attracted me. i wouldn’t be surprised if the first cherished wish i managed to form from the letters was precisely this one. the image of the Eiffel Tower haunted me in my girly dreams when i was like five years old. i adored it and called it “Elfel Tower” cause i thought elves lived there. and i wanted to see this mysterious fairy-building with all my childish heart.

i grew up, and my dream grew along with me. i caught every mention of Paris that i saw or heard around. i drew the Eiffel Tower on every sheet of paper. i cut out pictures of it from magazines and glued them into pink notebook. i was absorbed in french songs not understanding a single word. when i saw the cartoon “Monster in Paris”, i felt like i was soaring through the heavens because of the song “La Seine” and Vanessa Paradis’s voice. i tried to sing it without knowing french pronunciation and imagined myself the main character on the stage again and again. almost every birthday candle was blown out with the wish “i want to Paris”. it was my prayer. if i had known the word “manifestation” back then, it would have become my motto.

…and i use it to this day. the starfall of my dreams doesn’t stop for a minute. this small miracle lives inside me so deeply and for so long that it has long since taken root. after so many years of dreaming my internal Paris is a part of me. it’s my own magical phenomenon. i won’t be myself without it. and until i’ve been to my wonderland, it remains within me.

i’m so used to looking for Paris in everything that i don’t even notice it. it happens automatically. recently, i saw a perfume with a french flag on it in the store. this color combination and the title “made in France” made me immediately want to sniff it. it smelled like cherry pie with vanilla, and i realised that it’s mine. i decided that when i’m in Paris, i should smell exactly like that. of course i bought a perfume right away. later, i saw a butterfly pattern on the packaging, and it was another sign. in one of my most favourite movies - “Alice through the Looking Glass”(2016) - Alice follows the blue butterfly that flies through the mirror, and that’s how she finds herself in wonderland. i’m also follow the butterfly on the french perfume to get to the country of my dreams. and i’m so far removed from it that it seems i need to go through the mirror too…

another example. a couple of weeks ago, i found the perfect t-shirt on the shopping - it had a print with Paris on it! my gaze caught on it only because of that. i’m incredibly exited about this purchase. friend told me “this t-shirt was made special for you”. and it feels exactly like this. now i have a clear mindset: i’ll be walking around Paris in this t-shirt wearing that perfume. my ideal outfit.

and so it is in everything! i sprinkle every detail with fairy dust. maybe it’s some kind of madness, but even the ads make me think about Paris. recently, i saw an advertisement that showed a room that remind me of Paris in terms of its vibe. just a vibe that i caught as a ghostly sensation! and advertisement absolutely wasn’t about Paris. the feeling is enough for me, even though i can barely explain it to myself. sometimes it seems to me that my soul lives in Paris. it floats in a dreamy cloud right above the Seine, soft and sweet as cotton candy but too weightless to truly feel it. i think, that’s what i live with all my life.

in the spring of 2025, i became interested in the figure of Marie Antoinette, and since then she has become my favourite historical character. a year later - in the spring of 2026 - Olivia Rodrigo released a music video that was shot in Versailles, and i realised that even my favourite artist gives me a star from my starfall. France is everywhere. all the roads in my life lead to Paris.

my manifestation knows no bounds: i even have wallpaper with Versailles on my phone!

should i say that i have a pinterest board dedicated to Paris and french aesthetic?

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

so far, this story hasn’t found its ending, but i know for sure that one day i’ll be there - literally inside my crystal shiny ball; i’ll see my Elfel Tower right in front of me, and i’ll burst into tears. i’ll be the happiest person ever because i’ll find myself in my most fairytale dream. i know that someday it will definitely become a reality.

i’ll be there.

i'm sure, this topic is close to everyone. friendship - long or short, but always important - may end in a sudden moment. it can be harsh and disappointing, but it's a difficult feeling which you can successfully go through. you must just to change your perspective.

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

i had a great friendship with a wonderful girl for a few years. there were supporting, walks and talks for hours and just having fun. but then she stopped connection without explaining the reason. i was shocked, i didn't understand why she silently cut every word, every thought, every feeling that tied us these years. the miracle thread between us which i cherished so much has broken abruptly. i stayed with an empty piece of it and tried to bind it back. i texted her, i wanted to talk and at least end the friendship on a good note, without uncertainty. but she ignored it, and after a lot of thoughts and tears i started to see a new, unfamiliar person. we were in one place and didn't talk, all that connected us were occasional glances. when her eyes fixed on me for a second, i didn't catch anything in them that i had seen during our friendship. there was only indifferent cold that scared me again and again.

when we were next to each other, we just pretended no one of us didn't exist, like we didn't care. but i did care every time. i endlessly delved into myself, tried to find my own mistakes in our friendship. i felt like i had given her the scissors to cut this thread. i blamed myself.

she texted me with something like an apology after a few months, and i slowly forgot about my murky thoughts. but nothing was the same anymore. we sometimes met on a street and started small dialogs, but there were no more us. our fun, spontaneity and jokes are gone. awkwardness and embarrassment took their place, like we've never known each other. we looked and talked differently, and it felt like we drank the oblivion potion and everything that happened before that actually didn't happen with us.

in this moment of dark magic i decided to go to magical wasteland of my mind, and there i realized the simple truth. i blamed myself for a long time but actually no one is to blame. the thread has two similar ends.

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

i think every person comes to your life to give you everything that he can: the spectrum of good and bad emotions, experience and things to think about. these "gifts" aren't strictly divided into light and dark - all this is just replenishment of your life baggage. but people's bags aren't bottomless and over time the "gifts" run out. all that remains is emptiness, and it's absolutely normal. and your feelings are normal too. of course you may be sad about your magical communication have to end, you don't want to let it go. but your enchanted story won't continue if you don't do this. anyway you have tangible stardust that person gave you and you can see him in it. this sparkle is with you forever.

you're strangers on the opposite hills of life until you got to know each other. both of you are elves with magic books. you walk on these mysterious and usually misunderstanding lands and add new spells to your book. and every elf you meet on your way does it. you cross paths with another elf and exchange magic and useful words. your talking may be longer than it usually is, you may take more spells, information and good emotions. or your dialog may be short and not very interesting, but it's still magical talking, it's important to remember about it. in all cases, when you both exhausted your arsenal, your path diverge, his way goes over the hill, and your - further into the green valley. both of you will find the treasure, but the enchantment of fate dictates that you must take different ways to reach it. and this is only natural because the paths of these enchanted lands always wind.

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

you just write your story with new mysterious spells. and if your magical meeting wasn't as long and whimsy as expected, it just means you'll get to the dragons treasure faster.

okay, i confess: i have a magic power that i use every day. i can move between different realities or i even can be other people. i don't have the magic wand and i didn't find some kind of a portal. i only have my headphones and a music in it. this is my key to the mysterious door.

✩♬ ₊˚.✧࿐ ࿔⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

imagine a not colorful picture: early tuesday morning, the sun's rays are drowning in a gray routine. i'm going to university and looking out the faceless window of the crowded bus. i'm just a tired student and it's a long day ahead...

but i'm taking out my headphones and playing the first songn I found on my phone – too contrast with this slow bus. just one second – and i'm turning into a musical heroine. i'm not standing in a severe crowd – i'm almost running along the seats inspiring every gloomy person. people are making way for me and starting to hear music from my headphones, from my soul. they're dancing with me and there's no questions why every person on this bus knows this random dance. everything is happening by itself. the grayness is disappearing – i'm singing, we're all singing, the bus filled with celebration. this is a scene of the life now. the bus is truly driving along the music road, loud notes are flying out from under wheels. morning is shining and singing too, our bus is driving under the bridge that is looking like a rainbow. yes, that's so silly, but it's really how i feel every day listening music in my magic headphones.

or another song is starting to play and a mood of the beggining of the musical romcom is changing to the vibe of an ethereal lovely story. i'm not dancing anymore – i'm the most incomprehensible girl in this world now. there are stars in my eyes. i'm staring out the window thoughtfully and i don't notice that people are looking at me trying to understand my feelings. every heart wants to get my secret but i'm just looking at the sun and seeing the moon. and no one can't get it. when i go out and take my mystery away, the bus will still be filled with bittersweet sounds of this blue like night sky song.

and these metamorphoses happen to me with every song in my playlist changing not only me – the life around me. i take a step in a new world – and reality immediately transforms.

i can be funny, or dramatic, or chic, or enigmatic – but i'm always the main character, in this world and in every world i'm transport to. i can run across the field, dance at the ball, ride with the wind to the sunset, walk through the constellations, kiss somebody under the flashlight, fly in a clouds. i can be a pop diva, a mermaid, a queen, a lover, a villain, a ballerina. i literally can be anyone and do anything! i jump into a new portal every day.

i put on my headphones and dive deeply in my own endless ocean. just think about this tiny miracle! this little music world keeps countless of big universes. and they don't need a magic mixture called "drink me" to fit in. rather, the music itself is a starry cocktail: inspiration as a basis, a little drama, a pinch of whimsy and a powdered stardust. i taste and i feel this shiny ocean. and you taste it even if you haven't thought about it.

okay, i confess: you have a magic power. just remember this every time you put on your headphones.

why do you close your eyes and find yourself somewhere else? why do you open a closet to take clothes and hope to find a magical portal inside? why do you go to bed and wait to fall into a rabbit hole? why do you hide in a night cocon? do you want to become a butterfly? life of butterfly is too short for all your lives. why do you completly wrap in a blanket? you don't afraid of monsters – you afraid you won't have time to dive into your own miracle. you could swear you travel between worlds every night.

why do your dreams wither like tulips on your nightstand? you try to catch them in a pillow but they fade away with the lavender smell over your head.

why does the garland on your window fall like golden stars? why do the lines of your soul lie on your eyelashes? why do you hide your heart in a small locket and wear it on your neck? why do you whisper your secrets to the moon? do you really think it can hear you?

why do you braid the sun in your hair? why do you hear the music of rain? why do you compose the world around you? why are there so many stars in your lungs? why do you cry starry rivers?

𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊𓇼

why do i see you in the mirror before i enter the looking glass world?

in early February i visited a museum where i was surrounded by history of art and art of history. and conclusion i drew from this flow was a bit unexpected.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

i found myself in a hall dedicated to ancient Egypt and i immediately drowned into mysterious philosophy about life and death. but it wasn't story only about pharaohs and papyrus...

the first exhibit that impressed me was a big plenty of necklaces, bracelets and rings owned by egyptian women. can you imagine?? the bright crowd of different beads and patterns! i felt like i was looking at the collection of some freaky lady who had bequeathed her jewelries to the antiques. her naughty star is not as bright as it was in her youth but this unknown lady still keep her quirk. i can see it in these unique accessories. and these rings and necklaces didn't completly lose their sharp starlight even after dark of sand and time. beads shine with nobility and whim.

you know i was in a little shock. "egyptian women knew," i said. and it is the truest truth. moreover, they were definitely passing on their knowledge to other women through the ages and centuries. how often do you see a girl with unusual style or with interesting earrings and think "wow, she looks so pretty"? how often do you wear a beautiful dress common with your dreamy mood? all of this dictated by enigmatic and so real woman from faraway ancient Egypt. it's art living in every girl, every woman on the whole way of the world history: caring yourself, love yourself, keeping your own wayward fairy. these awesome colorful jewelries firstly of course kept god signs, religion symbols. but it's also whimsical trinkets that hide light girly vibes under heavy and mysterious commitments to the gods.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

the next diamond in this ancient crown of woman line is unusual little thing. try to guess what it is.

a swimming goddess of heaven with lotus – what could be so interesting shape? it's not just pretty statuette – it would be too easy for wise egyptian women. lately i found out that it's a cosmetic spoon. just think about it! usual instrument for mascara or cream looks like a true work of art! in addition, this spoon was found next to the face of a dead woman. "she didn't want to part with it even after death," guide said meaning every woman from ancient Egypt who went to the other world with girly thing in her tomb. among other important totems symbolizing the divine connection there was one object that symbolized something like girlhood.

how a lot of deep special kind of a femininity in it! not only worship of the gods, not just observance of age-old traditions. you're not a mummy or a ghost after your death – you're still the woman even in the unknown of the afterlife. girly thing from your life will keep your woman energy, it will breath freedom for you. you lived as a woman and you will remain her. no death could depersonalize you, and your face won't turn to dust not because of mummyfication (as creepy as it may sound). woman – your own woman – wouldn't dissolve in sand of time. this circle will never be interrupted. woman will always be woman. literally always.

and it's true in all senses. there is also a different accent here – woman will always BE woman. every princess, fairy, witch, mermaid in different centuries does her own magic by beautifying herself, loving herself. fairytale sirens sing, dance, write, talk and fight – it's art again! just as the ancient Egyptian woman preserved her essence, so does the modern woman doesn't part with her whimsy.

our invisible bonds bind us in every part of history cause for generations girls have wanted to be women and women have wanted to be girls. so woman will never die in our eternal connection.

─── ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─ ⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ─⋆⋅·𖥸·⋅⋆ ───

when i looked in David's marble eyes at the end of my crazy adventure, i realized one simple thing:

art is everywhere.

you know, i actually think that perfume is a poetry. and no just aroma in a cell of bottle – i mean magical combination perfume + person. some girl passes by me leaving flower or sweet train – she's a fairy with pink invisible tail. i don't know anything about her but this fragrant trace told me something. girl dissolves in the ghostly mist of stardust and i can catch in it that she's in a hurry to date with strawberry cakes or she listens lana del rey in her earphones. perfume encircles not only smell – it describes a story, draws a picture of a small part of life. isn't it a magic or a poetry?

also what about associations of perfume with person? how much is personal and cozy it is when you only need one note to see a familiar image! just one accidental flash, one drop in the ocean of smells – and you feel hugs, see eyes and smile. amazingly how perfume can be connected with person! for example, fragrance of coconut always reminds me about my bestie. she hasn’t used this perfume for a long time but this white softness is still the key to see her in my mind. there's so much art in it!

so i'm a poet, and perfume often turn out to be my instrument for writing lines of my soul, or my muse forcing me to feel princess or butterfly. and i wanna tell you about my top of perfumes which i use every day. my collection isn't very big but every aroma is my so called magic potion.

*ೃ༄ nina rouge crush

wild rose under the stately cherry tree

it's the newest and the most coveted perfume in my collection. i realized that i need it just in sumer 2025 when i remembered advertisement of nina ricci from my childhood. crystal apples, beautiful woman, mysterious music seemed like something magical and adult. like fairytale that i couldn't figure out yet. and at the age 18 i finally got it.

i chose red like vampire lips nina rouge crush cause i love cherry flavor very much. this apple may seem cocky but it smells like garden of Eden for me. it's so sweet and juicy. i feel sorry for wasting precious grains of this cherry sea but i wanna dive in it every minute so i use one splash when i go out. this cherry is universal and special at the same time. i think this perfume is my Eva code. and apple in my hand is the line between paradise and temptation…

*ೃ༄ vanilla sunset + cream caramel

candy snowflake

it's my lipcombo in aroma world. i found some random body mist at the seaside resort ant took it just because of the word vanilla cause it’s my favorite smell ever. this mist is very unobtrusive so i’ve been drenching myself in it for a long time and felt like i'm angel on a soft cloud.

then in a winter 2024 i wanted to smell like cookie and i got essential oil perfume as a gift. i put on my sweaters and stuck to the caramel flavor that lived inside – not very bright but tight and sooooo sweet.

and in autumn 2025 i understood that i can mix this two aromas in a light candy combo. it was one of my best ideas! this sweet mix is must-have on cold seasons. now these aroma things live in my bag and i feel like i'm angel on a caramel soft cloud especially in rain or snow. bestie calls me princess caramel. yes, i am.

*ೃ༄ lilac perfume

butterfly fragrant palace

one of my natural fixations is a lilac. when i walk down the street in the sunny spring and i smell that smell, i start looking for a bush. i literally feel alive when i bury my nose in flowers. so in summer 2025 i urgently wanted to become a lilac. i waved my magic wand and put away my fears about bees, and i began to smell fragrant.

it's the most natural smell of lilac! it's like you've taken a flower bath. so now walking down the summer street and catching this dizzying smell i can't tell if it's because of the lilacs or because of me.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆₊ ⊹

well, that's my aroma letter. and i really hope that when i pass by another fairy, she sees this ghostly mist, reads a part of my story and understands that i'm just like her – i have my own pink tail too.

perfume is one of languages of poetry *ೃ༄⋆⭒˚｡⋆₊ ⊹