It’s really easy to not try. It is really easy to not put yourself out there. It is really easy to decide to just sit on the couch and say “mmm I don’t need to do that thing”, whether that is signing up for a comedy show, putting an offer out on the internet, running a workshop or some other form of offer, service or sharing of gifts with the world. 🌍

It’s always easier to not try.

I’ve owned multiple businesses. And it’s always hard. Heck, a “regular” job is hard.

Things go wrong. You get a negative review. Someone complains.

But there is a difference between a standard bad day and a total system collapse. This weekend, in one of my businesses, shit really hit the fan.

In a way that had me questioning why I was doing it.

The effort is enormous. The amount of money I make seemed staggeringly small to the amount of stress that arose.

It made me want to give up.

It made me want to not offer the things I’m offering.

It made me cry.

It made me stressed.

And I’m still doubting if the juice is worth the squeeze. 🍋

But life isn’t supposed to be easy.

Doing things.

Putting your gifts and offers out into the world is scary.

You will be met with criticism and judgment, whether or not you show up and put yourself out there. You can be leading at the highest capacity or creating something in your own garage, minding your own business, and someone will judge you for doing nothing. Whether you do nothing or you try, you will receive judgment.

What that doesn’t mean is that you shouldn’t do the thing.

It doesn’t mean that what you offer is not valuable.

It doesn’t mean that the world does not need you!

All it means is that there’s room to improve.

All it means is that what you did didn’t work.

All it means is that you tried. And that’s the best possible thing you can do.

As I sit here writing this, I’m still doubting the work I’m doing and questioning if it’s worth it and if you are too, that’s ok too.

Brené Brown spoke about this after her initial TED Talk went viral and she was faced with a lot of judgment. She speaks about having a “vulnerability hangover” and hiding under the covers for weeks because she felt terrified and exposed.

In that moment, she had to decide between hiding forever or letting her “why” anchor her through the public backlash. She realized that the criticism and feedback weren’t actually about her worth as a human and that her mission, or her why, to heal shame was bigger than her fear of being judged.

When a business or an offer you put into the world experiences a setback or harsh feedback, it can feel like an attack. But it’s not.

Brown didn’t stop. She went on to deliver an even more explosive TED talk, about shame. She did it because her why—the belief that understanding shame could change the world—was more important than staying comfortable.

So as I sit in the wreckage of my own weekend, the question changes. The question isn't how to avoid negative feedback. The question is: Is my mission worth pursuing? Is my why worth the bruising?

Use this as an opportunity to revisit your why—why are you doing what you’re doing? Your why needs to be strong enough that it tugs on your heartstrings. It should make you realize how important your work is and that no matter what criticism you are faced with, you should keep going.

I have a card on my desk that reads:

This is something that I believe in with my whole heart. This is something that I know is important. This is something that helps me weather the storm when things go sideways. I know my work is important, and therefore it takes more than criticism to throw me off my game.

Even in the middle of an operational breakdown, I saw how women supported one another and built an unbreakable bond. Proving that this work is working.

The juice is worth the squeeze, not because it’s comfortable or easy but because my why matters too much to let it go.

What’s your why? Drop it in the comments — I’d love to read it. And if this resonated, share it with someone who needs the reminder today. 💌

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For years, I have said yes to every opportunity that comes my way.

Invitation to go on a trip?

YES!

Opportunity to work a gig to make $250?

YES!

Chance to be featured in a magazine?

YES!

An invitation or opportunity comes my way, and my default response is YES.

Until I figured out that this was both holding me back and actually a scarcity mindset at work.

I said yes because I feared more opportunities wouldn’t come my way. I said yes because my worth was tied to my productivity. I said yes because I felt like I would disappoint people if I said no.

You know when a friend asks you to do something, and you say yes because you don’t want to let them down? You want them to keep inviting you to things, so you say yes to the thing even though it doesn’t quite resonate with you or you actually have other plans? Yeah, I would do that. With everything.

I felt like I had to say yes to keep the opportunities flowing.

This is wrong for three reasons.

1. Firstly, this is wrong because saying yes to misaligned opportunities is a form of scarcity mindset. You are literally saying, I don’t trust that more opportunities will flow my way; therefore, I MUST say yes to this one. It’s limiting. It’s constrictive. It’s holding you back. It is simply not true.

2. Secondly, this is wrong because saying no to things is actually reclaiming your power. Every no gives you space and energy to do what you ACTUALLY want to do. To do what ACTUALLY serves you. Saying yes when your whole heart is not in something is simply not serving you. Life is too short to say yes to things that don’t light you up.

   “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” -Warren Buffett

3. Finally, when you say yes to misaligned things, it prevents you from being open to bigger, better, more aligned opportunities that could potentially come your way. If you commit to something that you only feel “meh” about, and another opportunity shows up on that same date? What are you going to do? You are limited. Constricted. Stuck. It’s a bummer.

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It takes a lot of courage to say no. Your head is going to tell you — “You should do this! Don’t miss this chance! Take advantage of it.”

Your heart and gut will be the ones questioning, and it simply won’t feel right.

Try, as best you can, to listen to your heart and gut. Your brain 🧠 will try to convince you, but trust yourself, stay strong!

Here are a few strategies I have used to start saying no more and begin to trust in the flow of the Universe 🪐.

1. Mesh two thoughts together. What’s something you know will keep happening no matter what? What’s something you believe and trust in wholeheartedly? It could be the packages that keep showing up at your door.

   »I KNOW that I will keep getting packages in the mail. It’s going to keep happening. It’s inevitable. Grab hold of that thought, that feeling, that TRUST, and link it to the new thought of how opportunities work in the same way. They WILL keep showing up. They will keep coming. They will keep flowing. It’s inevitable.

2. Pause for 24 hours before saying yes. Give yourself time to percolate on what you truly want to do. Sit with it, journal on it, think about it. Don’t rush a decision because you feel like you have to. I used this tool when I got invited to put on a fashion show for my swimwear at a big conference. It was an awesome opportunity. But it also would’ve taken a lot of time, money, resources, management and coordination, and I wasn’t that passionate about it. I wanted to focus my efforts elsewhere. Pausing and sitting with the decision helped me guide me to the no.

3. Keep a 'said no to’ list. This was a huge one for me, because it allowed me to stay accountable to my no’s and it gave me perspective. When I looked back on my list of things I said no to, I was like, “yep! I’m glad I didn’t do that”. It gave me confirmation and validation that I could trust myself.

4. Practice saying “I’m a no for now, but I will let you know if I change my mind.” This is a powerful saying because it allows you to change your mind! You’re not constricted by the no, or at least you’re giving your brain space to believe that. It’s a script you can pull out when you need space to hear what your gut is trying to tell you.

What do you think? Do you have a habit of saying yes too much?

How is this serving you? How is this holding you back?

I’d love to hear it in the comments below!

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Pregnant. With a suitcase. After a cross-country flight.

A scarcity mindset will have you penny-pinching your way through a million-dollar opportunity.

In this pep talk, I’m sharing the framework that changed how I think about every decision I make, big and small. Because the difference between where you are and where you want to be isn’t always strategy. Sometimes it’s just learning to spend, invest, and show up like you actually believe in yourself.

Hit play. Then ask yourself the question at the end.

I believe in you 💛

Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of traveling to New York for the Tory Burch Foundation event. New York City is expensive.

I felt great about spending money on the ticket to the event and paying a little bit more to get a direct flight both there and back.

But once travel got underway, I started noticing old stories and patterns arise around spending my hard-earned moola.

The first: paying for wi-fi on the airplane. This was, fortunately, an easy one to overcome. I never pay for wi-fi. Traveling with a toddler, there’s really no time for using the internet and I often read books on planes. But this trip, I was traveling solo and was so looking forward to working for 5 uninterrupted hours as I flew cross-country.

Old me would’ve wanted to save the $8 (I am frugal by nature) and not incur unnecessary expenses (broke-ass decision). New me saw the immense value in utilizing this time to be productive (million-dollar decision).

Small example, big impact.

From there, the spending decisions kept arising.

For a hot second, I debated saving the $100 the Lyft would cost me to get me to my hotel and instead taking the subway. Thankfully, a Brooklyn-native helped me get my head on straight and said, “Girl, you’re pregnant, in an unfamiliar city, with a suitcase. Take the lyft.“ Schlepping my suitcase through Brooklyn’s subway system, up and down flights of stairs, down sidewalks, all while 5 months pregnant and after traveling cross-country all day, just to save $100? Broke-ass decision. 🥵Spending $100 to arrive at my hotel safely, easily, and enabling me to rest for my upcoming conference? Million-dollar decision. 👏🏽

Other million-dollar decisions I made on this trip:

-Booking myself a blow-out to feel my best for my headshots

-Getting my nails done to feel as professional as possible

-Taking a cab home after dinner one night instead of walking 15 minutes back to my hotel. Again, mama is pregnant and tired and she does not need to be walking around at 9:30 at night

-Renting all my clothes and using a stylist for my event outfits

You better believe I was feeling like a million bucks.

Each time, old me would try to rear her head and say, “You don’t need to spend money on this!” Thankfully, the new me was able to break through this and make decisions that supported my productivity, well-being, and helped me perform to the utmost of my ability (the whole point of the trip).

So what’s the difference between broke-ass decisions and million-dollar decisions?

This framework comes from Rachel Rodgers and her book “​We Should All Be Millionaires,​“ which I highly recommend.

Broke-ass decisions are decisions that keep us stuck, drain our energy, and limit our potential.

Million-dollar decisions are decisions that help us to play bigger, use our talents in better ways, or feel more awesome so that we can perform at the highest levels. These decisions protect our peace, our energy, and help us to level up.

💰Getting your hair done before a big event is a million-dollar decision.

💰Putting your phone on do-not-disturb during your work hours is a million-dollar decision.

💰Hiring a babysitter so that you can have a date night with your partner is a million-dollar decision.

Here’s my question for you:

Are you making MADs or BADs?

This month in ​Get Stoked with Sensi,​ we’re talking about Money. And yes, I’m capitalizing Money because it is important. Money plays a crucial role in our modern society and there are so many beliefs, stigmas, and judgments wrapped up in Money and our relationship with it.

I love money.

I love the freedom it provides.

I love the confidence it provides.

I love the generosity it affords.

Do I still have a complicated relationship with it? Of course! Limiting beliefs and a scarcity mindset still arise.

But I’ve gotten good at making it and really good at saving it.

And I’ve begun to start making MADs in order to be good at spending it as well. And by good, I do not mean living above your means, but allowing money to FLOW through you to serve your highest good and the highest good of those around you.

Because money is not meant to be hoarded. The more we allow ourselves to spend and make MADs is a vote for our belief in ourselves and our worth. It’s also a way to vote with your dollar, support communities and uplift others.

There’s a native american proverb that I love:

“Wealth is measured by how much you give away”

I’ll leave you with that.

😘

Go out and be awesome! 😎

P.S. It’s the LAST DAY to register for the ​Burn Beautiful event.​ This free event features SO MANY great speakers and will be sure to knock your socks off.

I haven’t been feeling my best lately.

This second pregnancy (if you didn’t know I was pregnant—surprise! I’m 4.5 months along), has me feeling all of the feels.

I don’t feel nearly as confident as I did during my first pregnancy (cute belly bump?—more like I just feel chub chub).

My emotions are more up and down.

My energy is waning.

I simply don’t feel as awesome as I normally do.

Now, feeling awesome all of the time is not what we’re going for. Besides being impossible, one of the joys of being a human is experiencing the full depth of human emotions, including sorrow, anger, and disappointment. This doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you are alive! Yay!

But I don’t like feeling not my best any more than you do.

In general, I recommend to my clients that after a period of wallowing, you do what you need to to pick yourself back up. Firstly, you decide on the amount of time you want to spend in the duldrums (because that is ok and healthy). You feel bad about yourself, you cry, you let it out. But then you decide that you are not going to stay there.

Because the things that you repeatedly do and the thoughts that you repeatedly think become your reality. And we absolutely cannot have you wasting your precious energy and talents feeling like you don’t matter (spoiler alert: you do. Immensely*). *Don’t believe me? Start here.

The definition of resilience I've been loving lately is how quickly you can bounce back from adversity. Right now, with my hormones all over the place and my body getting bigger by the day, that’s the metric I’m holding myself to. “How quickly can I get myself realigned?”

Therefore, after you’ve had yourself some doldrums, it’s time to get back on the horse.

Here are the practices I’ve been turning to to realign with feeling my best:

1. Hot water with lemon, first thing in the morning. This simple practice is about more than just hot water. It’s about being intentional and having a slow morning. It’s about rehydrating and doing something that I enjoy, that makes me feel good and that has a positive impact on my physiology, first thing in the am. I’m thankful—I broke my habit of picking up my phone first thing in the morning years ago. The science is extremely clear on how detrimental this one practice is. Your brain is open and malleable first thing in the morning. This is a sacred time. Opening messages, emails, and social media before you even get out of bed increases cortisol, reduces memory retention, and erodes focus. Having something else to replace it is key for sticking with a new habit. Now this might not be a direct replacement for you but this is my first real ritual of the day.

2. Journaling. My favorite mindset practice. I love writing (hi substack 👋) and I love introspection. Two of my favorite things combine in this powerful practice. There is a lot of power in writing things down. Firstly, it gives you objectivity and allows you to actually look at your thoughts. Secondly, writing by hand has numerous benefits, from increased creativity to enhanced memory and recall. My morning journal routine goes like this:

   1. DAILY JOURNALING:

      1. Gratitudes-I write down anything that I’m grateful for.

      2. Affirmations-The most important part of my practice. I write everything I’m focused on, which helps bring those to the forefront of my consciousness via the Reticular Activating System.

      3. Today I can get excited about…-Helps train my brain to look for things that make me excited and happy!

      4. My intention for today is…-Helps me align with who I want to show up as.

3. Reading and listening to inspiring things. When I get stuck in doubt, I love filling my head with positive things. It helps me realign my focus with all of the good in the world. And when I’m having negative thoughts, listening to positive things and reading things that fill me up work wonders for shifting my mindset.

4. Going to bed early. As we now know, sleep is essential for feeling our best. Rest is the practice. If I feel tired, I will lay down. I used to push through but now I let myself relax way more. And my 9 pm bedtime is non-negotiable. :)

5. Practicing gratitude. All day, every day. For me, I love walking around myself and noticng things I’m grateful for. It’s not contrived. It’s the truth, because I love my home. By naming out loud how much I love my table or my new blackout curtains (see above), I realign so much more quickly. Gratitude is one of the best ways to get yourself unstuck. Once again, a lot of science supports this, but the real evidence comes from doing it. Walk around your house and be thankful. You will feel better!!

6. Post-it notes: the secret tool for confidence. I’ve been loving Post-it notes lately. Alongside listening to positive things, these little pieces of paper help train my brain to look for the good, think positively and ask better questions. I use targeted Post-it notes that work to counteract limiting beliefs that I’m aware of, and I use question Post-it notes to help my brain find solutions, such as “How can I make today awesome?”

   

   As always, I hope this serves you. Thank you for being here and reading my work. It means the world to me. If this resonated, I'd love to know — drop a comment below or consider buying me a coffee by becoming a paid subscriber. It makes a huge difference.

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   Sharing is caring. If you think someone would find this helpful, share it with them! 💌

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What I can give you are three practices that help me climb back out of a slump and help you get back to trusting that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

In this pep talk:

• Embracing that it’s “it’s okay to falter”

• The journaling practice and mantras that help me reset my mindset

• How gratitude shifts what you’re focusing on

• The ladder of life and why where you stand right now is more powerful than you think

You’re doing a great job. Now go out and be awesome. 🤍

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Your beliefs are quietly filtering your entire reality — and most people never notice.

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In the human experience, there’s a spectrum of truths. On one side, we have facts—immutable laws such as gravity or the speed of light. On the other end of the spectrum, we have faith—things that we can’t see but believe, such as God. In the middle lies our beliefs.

Beliefs are formed throughout our lives. We learn our beliefs through our parents, caregivers, and the environment we grow up in. We are each taught different things and ways of being. For example, a child who grew up watching their parents struggle financially might form the belief that money is hard to come by. Alternatively, a child surrounded by abundance might form the belief that resources are everywhere and within reach.

The important thing about beliefs is that they directly shape the interaction that you have with the world around you.

As humans, we are absolutely inundated with information all of the time. We are constantly bombarded with thousands of bits of information. The brain is like a firehose feeding a teaspoon: about a billion bits per second come in through the senses, but only about 10 bits per second make it into conscious thought. Your brain is constantly filtering information based on what you deem to be important and what your beliefs tell you is true.

Everyone has different beliefs. Simply learning this truth will help you realize that you don’t HAVE to believe the beliefs that you hold as truths—easier said than done but stick with me.

But here’s the good news: Beliefs are just thoughts you’ve thought repeatedly. And thanks to neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to form new neural pathways throughout our lives—you can rewire these patterns. You can identify limiting beliefs, question them, and deliberately install new thoughts that serve you better.

It’s really hard to see our own beliefs because we’ve lived them for most of our lives. But it’s easy to see others’ beliefs once you get to know them well enough.

When a limiting belief surfaces in my work with clients, it's actually exciting — because now there's a specific target to aim at. A clear area to grow.

But that doesn’t make it any easier to look at. It’s painful to see the beliefs that are holding us back.

Beliefs are reinforced through evidence. So to change them, we must first identify the ones no longer serving us, then work to change the story, and finally find evidence to support that change.

So how do we do this?

Get your journals out — I'm walking you through a process right now.

1. Open a fresh page in your journal and write down any thoughts that come to mind when you think about achieving your goals, making more money, or getting to the next level.

2. If you get stuck, use these prompts:

   1. I’m not good at ________________

   2. I could never ________________

   3. I’m too ________________ to ________________

   4. When things go wrong, it means ________________

   5. The reason I can’t ________________ is because ________________

3. Write down stream-of-consciousness style — don’t censor yourself.

4. Now look at each item that you wrote. Can you say this is objectively, provably true?

5. The invitation here is to hold the belief a little bit more loosely.

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Now that you’ve had a peek at your limiting beliefs, it’s time to start finding evidence that the opposite is true.

Let’s say one of your limiting beliefs is “I don’t have enough experience.” Challenge it by writing down all the ways you do have experience. Whether your experience be hiking up a mountain or raising a child, you have a wealth of human experience. Start training your brain to find ways that support this new belief.

And here’s the step that ties it all together: write your new truths every single day. Remember the neuroplasticity we talked about earlier? Repetition is how you actually build the new neural pathway. The brain rewires through consistent practice — not a single insight, but a daily one.

You don’t have to be a prisoner of the beliefs handed to you. Every thought you choose to repeat is a vote for the person you’re becoming.

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The journaling exercise above is just the beginning.

When we work together, we go deeper — identifying the specific beliefs that are keeping you stuck and building a practice that actually rewires them over time.

If you’re ready to stop circling the same patterns and start seeing real change, a first conversation is a gentle first step.

Let’s have a first conversation here!

In this week’s pep talk, we’re diving into why fear of failure is so deeply human, and why fighting it isn’t actually the goal. Instead, we’re loading it up in the chariot and taking it with us. Because here’s what’s true: no one is watching you as closely as you think they are. Everyone is too busy looking at themselves. And that is genuinely freeing — it means you have full permission to be a beginner, to try things from the heart, and to stop letting your brain veto your biggest ideas.

And if people are watching? They’re rooting for you. There is something electric about watching someone give everything they’ve got — even if it doesn’t go perfectly. Especially then. Your willingness to show up fully, to put yourself out there, and to keep going creates a ripple effect that encourages everyone around you to do the same. You are leading just by trying. The world needs that special something that only you have — so let’s go.

Option 2 — Warm & relatable

No One Cares as Much as You Think (And That’s a Good Thing)

Fear of failure is one of the most universal human experiences there is. It’s the thing that keeps us small, keeps us quiet, and keeps us endlessly refreshing our drafts folder instead of hitting send. And the reason it has such a grip on us? It’s literally biological. Our brains are designed to keep us safe, to flag anything unfamiliar as a potential threat, and to pull us back toward comfort at every turn. So if you’ve ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted to try, please know — that’s not weakness. That’s your brain doing exactly what it was built to do.

But here’s the shift: once you understand why it feels scary, you can stop taking the fear so personally. You can recognise it, name it, and choose to move anyway. And one of the most liberating realisations you can have is that no one is paying nearly as much attention to you as you think. We’re all looking at ourselves — in the mirror at the gym, in our own feeds, in our own heads. Which means the stakes you’ve built up in your mind? They’re almost never as high as they feel.

And when people are watching, what they want to see is heart. They want to see you go for it. Watching someone try with everything they’ve got — even imperfectly, even messily — is one of the most inspiring things in the world. Your effort gives others permission to try too. Your showing up is an act of leadership, whether you realise it or not. So let the fear come along, but don’t let it drive. The world needs that special something that only you

I just wrapped two months in Mexico, where I hosted three sold-out kite and wing retreats.

I love doing these retreats. Windsports attracts the best people and it’s always a joy getting to spend a week with new people, eating fabulous food cooked by our chefs and launching right from our beachfront property. It’s a lot of work but absolutely dreamy.

In addition to kiteboarding and winging, we celebrate our wins, have discussions around success and failure and do some personal development work (my favorite parts of our retreat if I’m being honest!).

What always comes up, with both men and women, is a fear of failure.

A fear of not being good enough.

A fear of being judged by others.

Both on and off the water

Sometimes it’s a fear of trying something new (like a tack or a jibe while wingfoiling).

The truth is, doing something new, anything new, is SCARY. It’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. It’s a challenge for both our brains and our bodies.

Combine that with the fact that we don’t want to be seen as less than and we’ve got a real murky soup of things that hold us back.

I used to hold myself back a lot.

I’m sure I still do.

But it used to be bad.

For many years, come October or November, when the air would begin to turn crisp in the Pacific Northwest and the rain started to fall, I would travel to the northern lagoons of Brazil to train. Brazil is a mecca for windsports and boasts some of the steadiest — and best — wind in the world. Coupled with the fact that it was hot, hot, hot, and I could ride in a bikini, the pilgrimage to the promised land was enthusiastically made alongside friends and dozens of other professional kiteboarders. We would stay in hostels or pousadas, rent little cars or beach buggies and spend weeks lagoon-side kiteboarding. It was eat, sleep, kite, repeat in its truest form.

It was a ton of fun.

Despite spending an immense amount of time on the water, I still doubted myself. I had a really difficult time letting go of the fear of looking stupid or feeling like I looked stupid. Whenever I was on the water riding, I was often looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching me. And not in a performative way.

In a “I really hope no one is looking at me” way. I did not want people to judge me. I did not want to be seen failing. I was paralyzed by this fear of failure. If people were watching, I'd hold back from trying a trick, afraid of crashing and looking stupid.

If I was working on something that was “easier” than some of the other riders on the water, I wouldn’t try it as often for fear of being seen as not good enough. I would hold myself back. I didn’t want to be seen as crashing what was an easy trick for other people. I rode around on the water with a pit in my stomach and a feeling of unease. You can imagine how much progress I made like this.

This fear didn’t come out of nowhere. Growing up, I was constantly told I wasn’t good enough. After my mom died when I was 16, I spent my formative years hearing variations of “you’re not smart enough,” “you’re not good enough,” “you should be further along by now.” Those messages burrowed deep into my heart and became the lens through which I saw myself.

By the time I was kiteboarding professionally in my twenties, that anxiety had cemented itself. Every time I looked over my shoulder to see who was watching, I was really checking: who’s going to confirm what I already believe about myself? Who’s going to see me fail and prove I’m not good enough?

That’s why the Brazil story is so cringeworthy. I wasn’t just afraid of falling. I was afraid of being exposed as the fraud I believed I was.

I like to tell that story during our camps because it’s so easy to see how I was holding myself back.

In reality, no one is looking at you and no one cares as much as you think you do.

And also—the things you’re doing are SUPER COOL, and I guarantee that someone is looking up to you for simply being out there—whether that’s on the water, kiteboarding or volunteering at your local soup kitchen.

You are most certainly inspiring to someone, somewhere simply by being you.

I know this because I experienced this firsthand while, you guessed it, kiteboarding.

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Several years ago, I competed in a local big air kiteboarding competition. Big Air kiteboarding is not the discipline that I used to compete in and I didn’t particularly want to do it; I didn’t feel that confident. But I got out there.

And I blew up.

Not in a good way.

I tried really hard and crashed a ton. I couldn’t seem to make anything work.

After my heat, I was completely embarrassed, not to mention sore. I had a bruised ego and a bruised back. I didn’t even want to show my face.

But something remarkable happened. Directly after my heat ended, a few people came up to me and said, “It was awesome to see you out there trying so hard!”.

A few people messaged me online with similar sentiments, “You inspired me to compete next year!”

I was taken aback. What I thought was a complete failure and instance when I looked totally stupid had actually inspired others to try? Wow. Ok.

Which just goes to show, effort is the only thing that really matters.

Don’t hold yourself back because you’re afraid of looking stupid.

People are inspired by people who try.

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I love the story about Sara Blakely, the world’s youngest female self-made billionaire and founder of shapewear brand SPANX. Her dad used to ask her at dinner every week: "Did you fail at something this week?" If she said "no," he'd be disappointed. He was teaching her that not trying was the real failure. This completely reframed how she thought about failure. Instead of being afraid of it, she started seeing it as proof that she was pushing herself, that she was trying. That mindset helped her build SPANX into the billion-dollar brand it is today.

Remember, other people don’t care as much as you think they do. You’re doing an awesome job.

I’d love to hear: 👇🏽 Where have you been holding yourself back from trying?

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We’ve been talking about goals and goal setting and achieving big things in 2026.

I really believe in the power of goals. You are 42% more likely to achieve a goal simply by writing it down.

Also, in my Get Stoked with Sensi membership, we’ve been talking about the idea of Misogi. As Jesse Itzler (entrepreneur and author) defines it, your Misogi is the one big, scary challenge that defines your year—the thing that will stretch you beyond what you thought possible. We’ve been coming up with some awesome, big things as a group.

But what I want to discuss today is the practice of high intention and low attachment, and how we are worthy no matter whether we achieve the goal or not.

It doesn’t really matter if we achieve the goal.

The goal doesn’t actually make a huge difference. It’s our effort and our energy and putting in the time to get to the goal that matters.

As humans, we’re always going to be setting new goals. When we achieve one goal, we oftentimes set a new one without even celebrating our accomplishment. The yardstick keeps moving on our marker of success.

And so this concept of high intention and low attachment is what I want us to focus on and practice while we’re thinking about our goals.

What Is High Intention and Low Attachment?

The practice of high intention and low attachment applies to everything we do—whether it’s achieving and working towards our goals, or gardening, or raising our kids. We want to be practicing high intention and low attachment.

High Intention

High intention means we show up with the utmost integrity. We take ownership of how we want to show up. We go after our goals with 100% confidence and belief in ourselves. We walk into the room with 100% confidence and belief in ourselves.

We believe with the highest intention that what we’re doing is important and that we are capable. We show up with our full hearts and our full abilities.

That’s what high intention is. It means we are being mindful and intentional with what we’re doing. We’re coming from a place of wholehearted love and belief.

Low Attachment

Low attachment is the second half of that, and it’s equally important—perhaps even more so.

We can do all the manifesting things and believe in ourselves wholeheartedly and keep making steps and effort towards the goal and never give up. And even with all of that, we might not actually achieve the goal.

Some goals aren’t meant for us, and that’s okay.

We want to have low attachment to the outcome, meaning whether or not you achieve the thing doesn’t matter. Whether or not you achieve the thing, you’re still going to be happy. Whether or not you achieve the thing, you’re still going to be practicing that high intention.

We want to have the highest intention—this is going to happen, and I’m amazing, I’m impactful—and low attachment with the outcome. It doesn’t matter. We trust.

Why This Matters

We are incorporating trust in what we’re doing, because when we hang on to the outcome too much, we push it away. When we’re too attached, we don’t feel content, we don’t feel stoked, and that prevents us from showing up fully. That prevents us from showing up with full intention.

When you trust that the thing that you’re doing is already there and that you have already achieved it, and that you’re already awesome and successful, you show up with more motivation and you create more momentum around what you’re doing.

To make progress towards our goals, we need to let go of the idea that we have to achieve them to be successful.

My Misogi: Publishing My Book

This year, my misogi is to publish my book. It’s big, it’s scary, and honestly? I might not achieve it. And I’m okay with that.

Because I’m practicing high intention—I’m going after this goal with 100% belief in myself and wholehearted effort. I’m showing up to write, to edit, to push through the hard parts.

But I’m also practicing low attachment—whether I hold a published book in my hands by December 31st or not, I know I’ll grow. I’ll learn. I’ll become a better writer, a braver storyteller.

The goal is the vehicle. The person I become in the pursuit? That’s the destination.

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Moving Forward

So that’s the mindset I want you to focus on as we move through 2026: set your misogi, commit with high intention, and release your attachment to the outcome.

Trust the process.

You’re already enough—with or without the achievement. Both things are true.

What’s your misogi for 2026? And how can you practice high intention, low attachment with it? I’d love to hear in the comments below.

Want support practicing this mindset? Join us in Get Stoked, where we work on exactly this kind of mindset shift every month through live coaching, community support, and confidence-building practices. Our next call is the second Friday of February—come practice high intention, low attachment with us.

Learn more here!

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I have a tool that I’m really excited to share with you because I think it’s kind of a superpower—a little bit of magic that I infuse into my daily, weekly, and yearly practices.

Whenever I need a little boost, I pull out this thing. Whenever I feel bad about myself, I pull out this thing. When I’m lacking inspiration or need to pump myself up, I pull out this thing.

What is this magic little thing?

Cue the drum roll. Let me introduce you to the wins folder! Da Da DA!

This is a simple thing, but I started doing it over a decade ago when my business coach Melanie McCloskey, introduced me to the concept of an evidence log. An evidence log is basically a list, a journal, a note—something you use to keep track of all the evidence for whatever you want to support in your mind, whether that’s your awesomeness, how many things you’ve accomplished in your life, or even simply how many times you work out.

An evidence log, at its core, is a way to demonstrate evidence for the things you do. A way to track and log all the cool things you accomplish.

This practice has been particularly helpful for me over the years because when faced with self-doubt and not believing I was enough, I needed external evidence to demonstrate that, wow, in fact, I was doing a really good job.

I found the evidence log—the wins folder—to be helpful when trying to overcome self-doubt and when I needed a boost to my confidence.

Why is simply keeping a list so powerful?

From personal experience, I know how powerful this practice feels, but what’s the science behind it? I turned to the internet to find some research:

The science around this is pretty clear. Self-affirmation theory suggests that repeated affirmations enable us to create more positive cycles. When we notice achievements, we start to feel more capable, and then we can take on bigger challenges, which generate even more achievements to log. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy: “I am someone who follows through and succeeds.” That is the basis of self-belief.

When we reflect on past successes, it strengthens our belief in our capability, which influences how we achieve future goals. When we see a concrete track record of success, we’re more likely to take on challenging tasks and stick with them.

When we write down even small wins regularly, we create externalized evidence that counters the brain’s natural negativity bias. It gives us objective proof that we can use to build our own self-belief and create more confidence.

Wow! That’s just cool. So basically, you're rewiring your brain while having fun. Win-win.

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How to Create Your Wins Folder

Step 1: Choose Your Format

Grab a journal, notebook, and/or start a new note on your phone.

Step 2: Do an Initial Brain Dump

Take some time to journal and answer these questions:

• What have I accomplished in the past year that I’m proud of?

• What have I learned?

• What have I created?

• What have I done?

• What obstacles have I overcome?

Take time to relish in your achievements, learnings, and experiences. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Step 3: Set Up Your Digital Folders

Create a new photos folder on your phone and a new folder on your computer (I use Evernote and the Notes app). Label it “Evidence Log” or “Wins” or “Self Love”—whatever resonates with you!

"Wait... isn't this kind of vain?"

I hear you…but this isn’t about ego. This is about counteracting the negative self-talk that plays on repeat in your head.

It’s about impact. It’s about feeling great. It’s about confidence. Screenshotting your wins will not make you egotistical, it WILL make you feel better about yourself.

There’s a saying that I love which is “hurt people hurt people, but healed people heal people”.

By reminding yourself how awesome you are, even in the littlest of ways, you will start to feel better, act with more confidence and become more of a “healed” person. Your ripple affect will be positive! Trust me on this.

Step 4: Start Collecting Evidence

Start taking screenshots of nice things people say about you and put them in your wins folders. Take screenshots of:

• Excellent comments on your social media

• Snippets of great email feedback

• Texts that people send you

• Cool things you do that you want to acknowledge and remember

• What you accomplished that day

• What you’re proud of

• Something awesome that happened

Step 5: Celebrate Each Win

Every time you put a screenshot in your wins folder, do a little happy dance! Take time to pause and really feel the compliment; feel into the success. Then say “thank you” and send that love out into the universe!

Step 6: Make It a Nightly Practice (Bonus!)

Every night in your evidence log, write out three wins from the day. They can be big or small—what matters is that you’re training your brain to notice and celebrate your progress.

YAY! WAY TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF FOR ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK, GROWTH, AND SUCCESSES. YOU ARE SO AWESOME!

What’s one win from today you can add to your folder right now? I’d love to hear it—drop it in the comments below!

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That future version of yourself—the one with the thriving career, the fulfilling relationships, the sense of purpose, the financial abundance—isn’t waiting for you years down the road. They’re here. Now. In you.

The shift happens when you stop chasing and start embodying.

In this week’s audio pep talk, I guide you through a simple but powerful visualization exercise. We close our eyes, take a breath, and imagine ourselves already living the life we desire. Not someday. Today.

Because when you operate from the trust and knowing that you already have everything you could ever want, you show up differently. You walk into rooms differently. You speak differently. You create differently.

The mantras aren’t aspirational—they’re declarations of what’s already true:

• I am enough

• My presence is powerful

• Money flows easily to me

• I am doing great work in the world

Your unique gifts aren’t something you need to develop before sharing them. They’re already within you, ready to be offered to the world. And it’s not just your opportunity to share them—it’s your purpose.

Listen to this week’s episode when you need a reminder of who you already are. Let it be your boost when doubt creeps in. Bookmark it for those moments when you forget your own power.

You’re not waiting to become someone. You’re remembering who you’ve always been.

Go out and be awesome.

— Sensi

It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted in life. In the beginning of my personal development work I would often be stumped by the question “what do you want?”. I would get frustrated and feel overwhelmed. “Ugh! I don’t know what I want.”

It was the early days of running my swimwear business. While I knew I wanted to grow my brand, I really didn't understand how to build a successful life—one that would light me up and help me feel content.

It took many more years of trying things, learning, engaging with life and practicing self-examination, something the Stoics referred to as a vital daily practice.

Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living,”

And while I wouldn’t necessarily take it that far, I do believe that the more we learn about ourselves, the better able we are to set ourselves up for success, and the more we can live a life that feels truly aligned with who we are.

It’s a new year, and therefore a new opportunity to set big goals and dreams.

I love a new year. I love starting fresh. I love an excuse to reflect and also look forward. One of the most powerful and poignant things we can do for ourselves as humans is to allow space and time for introspection.

After many years of practicing introspection and self-reflection, I have come to understand what a successful life means to me. I know what I want.

The start of a new year is a great impetus to look at what you want and refine your actions to create the most impactful, abundant and ALIGNED life for YOU. Your goals should draw you towards what feels most expansive, exciting and intentional to you.

After years of this practice, I've distilled what works into a clear framework. A few weeks ago, I ran a Goal Setting with Soul Workshop where I shared this exact formula that we went through to establish goals that actually work for us.

Here’s the complete process we’ll walk through together:

Let’s do it!

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Part One: Reflection

Through reflection, we can make note of, highlight, and double-click on anything that brought us awe or excitement or that filled our cup up. Sometimes we don’t even know what we love as humans. We don’t know what we enjoy. It is only through reflection that our true heart’s desires become clear. So let’s dive in.

Step 1: Photo Review (10-15 minutes)

Scroll through your photos from the beginning of the year to the end and write down anything that stands out as a highlight or a lowlight. This exercise inspires us to access our memory through emotion and what we chose to capture through the power of our phones.

Step 2: Extract Lessons and Energy Patterns (15-20 minutes)

Take a few minutes and answer the following journaling prompts:

• Lessons learned that I most want to remember

• My lows and biggest challenges

• What drained my energy

• My biggest successes and accomplishments

• What raised my energy or vibe

• My most joyful moments

• One thing I am most proud of

Now that we’ve identified what served us and what really didn’t, we can start to make changes and set ourselves up for the year ahead.

Grab your journal and spend 15-20 minutes with these prompts. Don't rush—this reflection work is where the magic happens.

Part Two: Looking Ahead

What I’ve found in goal setting is that it works best when you approach it as both an intention and a goal.

There’s a lot of science behind setting goals. In fact, if you write down your goals, you’re 42% more likely to achieve them. The more specific, measurable, actionable, tangible, and achievable they are, the more likely you are to achieve them as well.

So we will incorporate some science around goal-setting. However, intention-setting gives us steadiness. Intentions are a commitment to a sustained way of being and feeling over time. Intentions help us to align with who we actually want to become, to expand rather than waiting to achieve the goal. Intentions allow us to practice the daily habits that will help us get to the goal.

Step 1: Set Intentions by Category (15-20 minutes)

Answer the following prompts in each of these categories:

Categories:

• Relationships

• Hobbies

• Growth

• Work

• Wellbeing

• Financial

Prompts:

• How do I want to feel in each area?

• What matters most here this year?

Step 2: Step Into Your Future Identity (5-10 minutes)

Answer the following questions:

• What kind of person do I want to be this year?

• What do I want more of?

• What do I want less of?

Step 2.5: Choose Your Word Of The Year (2 minutes)

Select one word that will serve as your North Star for the year ahead. This word should capture how you want to feel or who you want to become—something like "courage," "ease," "play," or "abundance." Write it somewhere visible and use it as a touchstone when making decisions throughout the year. When you're feeling uncertain, ask yourself: "Does this align with my word?" Let it guide you back to your intentions.

Step 3: Future Casting Exercise (5 minutes)

Imagine it’s one year from now, and everything you’ve accomplished, everything you’ve felt, everything you’ve traveled to, everything you’ve done has exceeded your expectations.

Start with this prompt: “I just had the best year ever...”

Set a timer for five minutes and write freely from there.

Step 4: Set Your Goals (15-20 minutes)

Now we finally get to the goal setting. Remember: your goals should support your life, not run it. Now that we know how we want to feel in each area, choose one to three meaningful goals for each of the categories.

For each goal, write:

• Why this matters

• How achieving it will make you feel

• What success looks like for you

  I'll be checking in throughout the year with prompts and reflections to help you stay aligned. Hit subscribe if you want these reminders in your inbox.

By combining reflection with intention and grounding it all in specific, actionable goals, you create a roadmap that honors both who you are and who you want to become. Here’s to a year of aligned living. YEW!

I'd love to hear from you: What's your Word of the Year? Drop it in the comments below—let's inspire each other!

If you’re looking for more support in 2026 to achieve your goals and feel stoked with where you’re at, join my Get Stoked with Sensi membership. It’s like a gym membership for your mind 🧠.

Go out and be awesome.

😎

Sensi

I didn’t know what the future held. I couldn’t undo what had happened. But I could choose—in that moment, in that hospital room—to find something to be grateful for. His breathing. The nurses. Sunlight through the window.

It wasn’t about denying the fear or pretending everything was fine. It was about staying present in a situation that could have consumed me.

That practice is something I’ve often returned to.

Super grateful for family that supported us during Brandon’s recovery.

These days, I walk around my house speaking out loud about the things I love. “I love this stove. I love these flowers. I love the shape of this coffee mug in my hands.” It’s not performative—I genuinely adore the things I’ve carefully chosen for my home. And I’ve noticed something: the more I practice gratitude, the more contentment I feel. The more contentment I feel, the more energy I have for everything else.

This isn’t just my experience. There’s actual science behind it.

Gratitude isn’t just a nice feeling—it’s medicine for the mind and body.

When Feeling Thankful Rewires Your Brain

Here’s what happens when you practice gratitude: your brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness and contentment. Regular gratitude practice literally changes how your brain functions, making optimism more natural and anxiety and depression less likely.

There’s a saying in neuroscience: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

Every time you practice gratitude, you’re strengthening those neural pathways. You’re building a muscle. The more you work it, the stronger it gets. Over time, your brain becomes better at releasing those feel-good chemicals naturally. You start leaning toward gratitude without forcing it.

This is what I’m constantly teaching my clients: you can train your brain to align with contentment. It takes practice, but it works.

Your Body Keeps the Score (And Gratitude Improves It)

The benefits extend far beyond mental health. Studies show that people who practice gratitude regularly experience:

• Better sleep quality (your body relaxes when your mind does)

• Lower inflammation (chronic stress creates inflammation; gratitude counters it)

• Improved heart health (gratitude regulates blood pressure and stress hormones)

• Fewer aches and pains (when you feel better mentally, you feel better physically)

But here’s the part that surprised me most: gratitude makes you want to take care of yourself. When you feel more content, you’re naturally more willing to engage in healthy activities. You exercise more. You manage stress better. You make choices that serve your well-being.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Gratitude creates contentment. Contentment creates motivation. Motivation creates action.

This is the counterintuitive truth most people miss: motivation doesn’t create action—it flows from feeling good. You can’t force motivation, but you can cultivate the conditions for it. And gratitude is one of the most powerful tools we have.

Gratitude as Social Glue

Gratitude doesn’t just change you—it transforms everything around you.

When you express appreciation to the people in your life, you strengthen those relationships. You build empathy. You create positive feedback loops. Research calls gratitude “social glue” because it literally binds people together.

This matters because gratitude isn’t a solo practice. When you share what you’re thankful for with your partner, your kids, your friends—you’re not just improving your own well-being. You’re shaping your community.

photo by Paul Porter

I’m passionate about this topic because we tend to gloss over gratitude as something fluffy—a Thanksgiving tradition we visit once a year and then abandon. But the science is clear: gratitude is one of the most powerful practices we have for mental, physical, and relational health.

For me, reading the research makes me want to practice something. The more I believe it’s helpful, the more I see science that supports it’s helpful, the more I think, “Okay, I’d better do this thing.”

So let’s talk about how to incorporate the magic. 🪄

Making Magic Part of Your Daily Life

Here are evidence-based gratitude practices. You don’t need to do all of them. Pick one—just one—and see what happens.

Gratitude journaling at night: Before bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. I like to include something awesome that happened, what I’m proud of myself for, and a win for the day—even a small one.

Doorway gratitude: Every time you walk through a doorway in your home, say one thing you’re grateful for out loud. (This one sounds silly but it’s shockingly effective because you do it so often.)

Morning gratitude: As soon as you open your eyes, name three specific things you’re thankful for before you move.

Dinner table gratitude: Share what you’re grateful for with your family or partner over dinner. Make it a ritual.

Alarm reminders: Set three alarms throughout the day. When they go off, pause, take a breath, and say “thank you” for something.

Desk gratitude: When you sit down at your desk in the morning, take one minute to focus on something you’re grateful for before you start working.

A few things to know:

This might feel forced at first. That’s normal. You’re building a new muscle, and muscles feel awkward before they feel strong.

You don’t have to feel grateful for everything. You don’t have to be grateful during every hard moment. Gratitude isn’t about toxic positivity or denying real problems. It’s about training your brain to also see the good—even when things are difficult.

Start small. Consistency matters more than intensity.

When Brandon was in the hospital, I couldn’t control what happened next. But I could control where I placed my attention. And that small shift—choosing gratitude in the present moment—helped me survive, and eventually thrive.

That’s the magic.

This week, try one practice. Just one. Notice what shifts. Because any amount of gratitude changes the present. And the present is all we ever really have.

Go out and be awesome!

P.S. Want to enter 2026 feeling grateful and awesome. Join my free Goal Setting with Soul Workshop on December 16th!

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Consistency helped me become one of the top female park kiteboarders in the world.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much of growth—real, lasting growth—comes down to consistency. Not motivation. Not inspiration. Just the quiet, steady act of showing up. It’s not glamorous, but it’s what moves the needle. Consistency is the bridge between who you are today and who you’re becoming.

So today I want to talk about consistency—
Consistency with how you show up.
Consistency with how often you show up.
Consistency with sitting your butt down in the chair and doing the work.

Being consistent with what you say you’re going to do.

Because being consistent is one of the best—maybe the only—ways to make progress toward your goals. It’s also one of the most powerful ways to build a confident mindset.

Why?

Because when we say we’re going to do something, and then we actually do it, we naturally build self-confidence. Every time we follow through, we create more trust in ourselves. We start to believe: I can rely on me.

And that’s the whole thing about building resilience.
The more you know, trust, and rely on yourself, the more resilient you become.
The more confident you become.

Because you believe in yourself.
You believe in your ability to handle life.
You believe I’ve done hard things before. I’ve shown up. I’ve made a difference.

So when we talk about building a confident mindset, one of the biggest components is consistency.

And a lot of times, it means going back to basics:
✅Are you drinking enough water?
✅Exercising regularly?
✅Prioritizing sleep?
✅Eating in a way that supports your energy?

Sometimes we’re just running on empty—and when your body isn’t nourished, your brain can’t perform.

So start small.

Because consistency in the small acts over time builds up to who you’re becoming.
Consistency in the small acts is how you create a wonderful life.

As Aristotle said:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

Becoming consistent is the goal.

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And that includes consistency with putting your message out into the world.

We all want to grow our platforms, have the best podcast in the world, sell a million books, reach more people—but how do we get there?

We create consistent content over time.
We become prolific.
We keep showing up—so people know and expect it.

If you look at the most successful people, they’re not necessarily the most talented—they’re the most consistent.

They show up. Over and over and over again.

And here’s the real key:
Show up not because you’re chasing validation, and not because you’re afraid of criticism—
Show up because you have a message that matters.

Because you believe in the work you’re here to do.

So ask yourself:
Why is it important for you to keep showing up?
Why does your message matter?

I believe in you.

Start there.
Then build the consistency that turns your belief into momentum.

Go out and be awesome. 😎

P.S. Consistency gets easier when you have someone in your corner. If you’re ready to build momentum, step into leadership, and believe in your power—I can help you do it with confidence and clarity. Work with me →

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“The power of knowing your worth is you never run out of reasons to love yourself” —Rupi Kaur, Home Body

I stopped to catch my breath in the blaring sunshine. It was 8am and already, I was baking. The snow sparkled and glistened, reflecting the strong rays of the morning light. It was a steep slope and after just five switchbacks, I was already having to dig deep to keep up with our guide. We were backcountry touring in the Sawtooths of Montana, and I was following our ski guide up a vertical mountain in order to get a few turns down the fresh snow–all before it got too hot.

The evening before marked the end of our second day climbing mountains. I had flown into the small airport of Bozeman, Montana two days prior and slowly made my way into the tiny mountain town of Cooke City. Nestled in a valley crevice in a gorgeous mountain pass, Cooke City is home to some of the best back country ski and snowboard riding in the country. I had been invited to go on this trip with an intentional group of humans in order to test a new retreat concept that explored harnessing the healing power of nature. Myself, along with six other skiers and snowboarders plus a videographer, two facilitators and a journalist embarked each morning into the surrounding summits and proceeded to climb up many vertical feet of elevation. It was arduous. And stunning.

Over countless miles in the backcountry, we fueled ourselves with trail mix and homemade sandwiches and chatted about everything from our purpose on this planet to our favorite breakfast foods. Every evening, we gathered to debrief on one key question of the day and opened ourselves up to vulnerable conversation. Many tears were shed and the small group quickly bonded over the strenuous activity and sweat and tears.

On the evening of the second day, we were all feeling it. The mountains were tall, the days long and the exertion of being outside in the elements all day was leaving us feeling ragged. Our merino wool layers had already gotten drenched through multiple times. You could tell we were exhausted. Meeting the group where we were at, our guides gave us an option. “With conditions being a little bit lackluster tomorrow–it’s going to get hot–we wanted to offer an alternative to skiing up the mountains. Anyone that wants to, can instead venture into Yellowstone park and explore the wilderness there through leisurely walking. Anyone else can depart at 7am to make it to the summit before it gets too hot for the snow pack.”

Given these two options, my type A challenge-driven self kicked in. It wasn’t even a question. I was climbing the mountain. That’s what I was here for, that’s what I wanted to do, I wasn’t about to back down from a little fatigue or tough conditions—I was there to achieve something! Fast-forward 12 hours later and while half of our group was lounging about Yellowstone, I found myself cursing as I made my way through yet another kick-turn and continued to scale the snow-covered terrain at what was turning into a grueling pace.

Once we reached the top, I felt what I had felt many times on that trip—a combination of triump and relief. We had made it! We can do hard things! Thank god it’s over! Let’s go back down!

As we reconvened with the rest of the group later that evening, I felt a lingering sense of pride. I hadn’t backed down from the challenge and I had done the hard thing! Go me. Self high five.

As we gathered that evening, we began by reliving stories from the day and as each person shared, a common thread began to emerge: everyone had gotten exactly what they wanted and/or needed. “I had a nice nap in the sun, it was just what I needed.” “It was so nice to take a day to relax, the park was beautiful.” “We had such a wonderful time exploring, how cool.” As I sat and listened to each of these humans, who I now deeply respected and admired, share how great their day was and how it was just what they needed, a new thought began to emerge. “Wow, we are each so worthy, no matter what it is that we choose to do.”

Here I was, beaming with pride because I had “accomplished” something. Here I was, feeling triumphant and great about myself because I had chosen to do the “hard thing”, because I had chased after a goal and because I had pursued something that I thought to be worthwhile. And yet, as each of my friends shared their experience, I saw that just because they had chosen to do something that did not have an end goal or wasn’t marked by accolades or achievement, it didn’t make them any less worthy as humans. They still brought their full selves to the experience and they chose what they knew they needed. They didn’t get sucked into chasing the feat, and they were strong enough to listen to their intuition. Just because they chose to experience something else than I did, something “less difficult”, did not make them any less worthy.

And that’s the moment I discovered that my worthiness wasn’t related to what I did.

Because here was the group of phenomenal humans who had done something “less” than me, and yet I valued and respected them even more, because they listened to what they needed and they chose to do what worked for them.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone through much of life thinking that you need to achieve or accomplish or do to prove your worth, when in fact you are worthy simply because you are. You are an unbelievable combination of skills and experiences and behaviors and beliefs that will never be replicated. You are on this planet for such a short period of time. Your only role is to experience the experience that feels true to you.

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On the path to becoming your best self, you’ll inevitably face commentary on your performance. Here’s the truth: even if you play it safe—don’t start that business, don’t write that book, don’t take on the challenging project—you’ll still receive feedback.

Often, fear of judgment holds us back. We’re afraid of looking foolish, being ostracized, or disappointing others. So we play small, hide, and avoid challenges.

But feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth. It’s how you crowdsource your way to success.

So how do we overcome the fear of judgment and learn to receive feedback in a way that propels us forward?

Here’s a four-step process to reframe feedback and use it to advance your mission.

Step 1: Sit Your Ego Down

To receive critique effectively, you need to realize a fundamental truth: it’s not actually about you.

Everything anyone says to you reflects their experience—how your actions affect them, how they perceive you, what would work better for them.

I learned this the hard way when I started my swimwear brand. In those early years, I made everything about me. When people said the suits were bad, I heard “I am bad.” My self-confidence crumbled with every criticism because I took it all personally.

I didn’t understand that their feedback was about their experience. If I wanted to create the best possible swimsuits, I could crowdsource my way to success by translating reviews and comments into product improvements—not by spiraling over a two-star review.

I had to shift my focus from myself to the women and girls I was serving.

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Step 2: Start With Why

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Whether you’re receiving solicited feedback through peer reviews and progress reports, or unsolicited feedback through client testimonials, it’s crucial to remember your fundamental purpose.

If your “why” is surface-level—like making money—dig deeper. There’s always an underlying reason for what you do, and it’s never just about you.

When you uncover the why beneath the why, you tap into a deeper well of motivation and understand that feedback isn’t a personal attack.

In my swimwear business, I initially thought my why was to make awesome bathing suits and achieve freedom and control. Essentially, I made it about me. My ego clouded everything, and I wasn’t focused on the people I was serving.

As Seth Godin says: “The opposite of quitting isn’t just continuing on as you are. The opposite of quitting is recommitting with passion.”

When I discovered my real why—to demonstrate possibility for women and girls—everything shifted. I realized how valuable and impactful my work was. I understood that my skills were needed, and I began to believe in myself and my mission. Even if I fell flat on my face, the message was necessary.

Today, in my work as a mindset mentor and inspirational speaker, I believe in the message so deeply that even if I fall a thousand times, I have the strength to get back up. Other people are counting on me. I believe in uplifting and empowering others with my whole heart, so even when I receive criticism, I trust myself enough to keep going.

Step 3: Use the Power of Questions

Now that we’ve established that feedback doesn’t have to be personal and can actually advance your mission, let’s talk about evaluation.

A series of questions can help you refine criticism into something useful:

Is this person someone whose opinion I value? Are they important to me? Do I respect what they have to say?

Is this critique useful? Is there something here that can help me grow?

Do I want to act on this feedback?

We cannot and should not take every critique to heart. Not every comment serves our goals. Focus on objective observations and evaluate whether the feedback can actually help you.

Here’s a helpful technique: write down the names of people whose opinions you genuinely care about. This list helps you release criticism that doesn’t serve you. That said, remember that even people you love are sharing comments based on their personal experience. You don’t have to accept those either.

Step 4: Reframe Negative Comments

Finally, change how you interpret negative feedback.

It’s not a personal attack. It’s not saying you’re unworthy or not enough. It’s simply an opportunity for growth.

You get to decide what to do with it.

That’s the four-step process for reframing feedback. I hope this serves you.

Now go out and be awesome. 😎

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One way I’ve learned to show up more fully—in life, in work, in relationships—is by setting an intention for how I want to be before I enter a space.

Before a big day.
Before an event.
Before I step into a room with other people.

It’s simple, but it changes everything.

Instead of letting my default energy run the show—whether that’s fatigue, distraction, or irritation—I pause. I ask myself:

👉 What’s the energy I want to bring here?
👉 How do I want to serve the people around me?
👉 What would it look like to operate at my best?

A Lesson From Spain

I just got back from southern Spain where I was part of a women’s photo shoot with Armstrong Foils. The days were long—morning meetings to late dinners, back-to-back sessions on the water, rolling out of bed into another full schedule.

I was sick for the first few days. I was exhausted. My one-year-old was with me.

And if I had let that dictate how I showed up, I would have been withdrawn, maybe complaining, maybe just dragging through the motions. Instead, I paused and chose.

Some days my intention was: bring the joy. (That’s Brendan Burchard’s motto, and I love it.)
Other days it was: listen.
Or: be encouraging.

And on the days when I was wiped, I literally put on music, shook my butt, danced around, and said: Alright, let’s go. Today I’m bringing the joy.

That tiny pause recalibrated everything.

Why This Works

We all have our default ways of showing up: our normal reactions, our go-to complaints, our triggers. But intention interrupts autopilot.

When you consciously choose the energy you want to bring, you:

1. Take full advantage of the opportunity in front of you.

2. Serve the people around you.

3. Stay motivated and connected to your best self.

You are in control of your energy. That doesn’t mean pretending to be happy when you’re not—it means pausing, acknowledging how you feel, and then choosing how you want to show up next.

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How to Practice

Here’s the invitation: before your next meeting, family dinner, workout, or big event, stop for a moment. Take a breath.

Decide:

✨ Today I want to show up as confident.
✨ Today I want to bring peace.
✨ Today I want to be supportive.
✨ Today I want to lead with love.

Then anchor that intention with action:

• If confidence is your word → stand tall, say a power mantra in the mirror.

• If peace is your word → take five minutes of deep breathing before you walk in.

• If joy is your word → put on a song and dance it out.

Reverse-engineer how you want to feel, and do the thing that helps you embody it.

Your Turn

Don’t let your circumstances dictate your energy. Decide how you want to show up. Practice it. Play with it. See how it changes the way you move through the world.

So—how do you want to show up today?

P.S. If you loved this reflection, I dive deeper into tools like this inside my Shine On Mastermind—a three-month program designed to help you build unshakable confidence and step into your next level of leadership. Apply now.

The theme of overwhelm has been arising with almost all of my clients, in my mastermind group and among my friends.

It seems like just about everyone is too busy, too stressed and is trying to juggle way too much.

These spirals of discontent and overwhelm are tough to escape. We tell ourselves that if we stop doing so much things will just get even more out of control.

It’s a vicious cycle. It also leads to nervous system dysregulation, cortisol spikes and feelings of fight or flight.

I’ve been trapped in feeling overwhelmed… a lot. For what felt like years I would hear myself repeating “I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed”. Neuroscience teaches us that what you focus on expands and that the words you tell yourself are the most powerful. By repeating “I am overwhelmed” over and over again, I was wiring my brain to believe this story and also make that my reality. It wasn’t until I learned to change my story, that I could create a new reality.

How can we stop the spiral of overwhelm and begin to return to a baseline?

Here are nine tools I return to again and again:

1. Take a deep breath. Andrew Hubermann teaches the physiological sigh, a double inhale through the nose, followed by a long, slow exhale through the mouth. It is one of the fastest, most effective methods to calm the mind and body immediately.

   How to Perform the Physiological Sigh

   1. Inhale deeply through the nose, expanding your diaphragm.

   2. Take a second, shorter inhale—again through the nose—filling up whatever space remains in your lungs.

   3. Exhale fully and slowly through the mouth

2. Architect your day. Take the time to decide how you want your day to look. What time do you want to get up? What are you doing during your morning routine? What breakfasts are you eating? When and where do you work? What do you do after work? What are your non-negotiables (the things you do every day that set you up for success?). Getting intentional with your time will help shift your focus to the most important things.

3. Reward yourself for everything you do get done. End the workday by writing out all of the things you checked off your list or accomplished—and “I did” list. This is a two-minute practice that can shift your whole perspective. When we end with a “I did” list, we can leave our desks or close out the day feeling satisfied, accomplished and proud, instead of like a chicken with our head cut off. You can choose to see your work as unfinished and stress about everything you have left to do or you can choose to reward yourself for everything you DID do.

   When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

   -Wayne Dyer

4. Incorporate in a transition period or something to signal that you are closing shop for the day. Invite in a practice that gives you permission to leave work and move into something else—a mantra, a self-high five, 10 jumping jacks, a spritz of perfume, or ringing a gong (one of my friends’ practices). This external trigger is your nervous system marker for “it’s ok to turn off and move into the next part of my day.”

5. Start your day with listing out your priorities for that day. I like to brain dump everything that I need want to get done and then identify the top 1-3 needle movers. Do these things first!

6. Use calendar time blocks instead of to-do lists. To-do lists are great ways to get everything out of your mind and onto the page and writing by hand has been highly researched and benefits brain development, information recall, memory and processing.

7. Focus on doing deep work, especially first thing in the morning. Deep work is work that you do without distraction. Put your phone on do not disturb, close all unnecessary tabs, silence all notifications, set a timer and work on the top needle mover. Reward yourself when you’ve worked for a certain amount of time, without distraction (as opposed to rewarding yourself for how many items you check off your list). For example, I’m currently writing this post as one of my first tasks of the day, phone is put way and I am staying committed to this tasks for another 45 minutes.

8. Give yourself grace. There is no getting it all done. You are never going to complete everything, have a fully meal-prepped fridge, no laundry, a completely organized pantry, all flights booked, your car totally clean, etc. There will ALWAYS be more to do. Embracing the fact that you won’t get it all done, can help you let go of trying to do everything and refocus on only what matters.

9. Tell yourself a new story. Instead of saying “I am overwhelmed”, change that into something empowering:

   A few mantras for you to try:

   1. I am letting go of having to do it all.

   2. I trust myself

   3. The most important things will get done

   4. I am learning to be less overwhelmed

   5. I live an awesome, relaxed life full of projects I love and enjoy (thanks Jen Sincero for this one)

   6. It’s ok to relax

   7. I am doing a great job

   8. I am doing enough

Let go of trying to get it all done. Focus on what matters.

Overwhelm doesn’t go away by doing more—it dissolves when we shift our focus, take ownership of our energy, and choose a new story. These small practices stack up to create massive change, and they’re what allow us to feel grounded, calm, and in control even when life is full.

If you’re craving a supportive community, accountability, and proven tools to help you stop the spiral of overwhelm and step into your most confident, intentional self—I’d love to invite you to join the waitlist for my next Shine On Mastermind. This is where we go deeper into rewiring the beliefs, habits, and systems that hold you back so you can finally lead and live with ease.

✨ Join the waitlist here and be the first to know when doors open.

Go out and be awesome.

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“Follow your passion” might just be the most prolific coffee mug, tote bag, and bumper sticker slogan of all time.

We’ve been inundated with the idea that if you don’t know your passion, your mission is to find it. That your passion will lead to peace, prosperity, and fulfillment. That if you’re not lit up by your work, then something must be wrong.

But what happens when your passion feels like a ghost? 👻

What if there’s no spark in sight? What if you’ve never even seen a wisp of it?

For years, I longed to “find my passion.” Sitting with my business coach at 26, I wrote it down as one of my top values. Passion. It seemed so important. So essential. But it felt so elusive.

Me…circa 2013

I was running my swimwear company at the time, constantly doubting myself and wondering why I didn’t feel more… lit up. I looked at others who seemed to know exactly what they were meant to do and felt behind. I wanted to feel passionate—but I didn’t. And that made me feel like something was missing.

All I knew was: I didn’t know what I wanted. 😮‍💨

Looking back, I was putting pressure on myself to feel passion before I ever gave myself permission to try. I was obsessed with feeling it before doing anything. That obsession left me stuck.

But here’s the truth: passion is not something you follow—it’s something you build. 🫵🏾

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: The Hidden Framework

Let’s talk about the foundation that underlies this obsession with passion: mindset.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth vs. fixed mindsets changed everything for me. In her book Mindset, she explains that success isn’t just about talent—it's about how you believe you grow.

• A fixed mindset says: “You’re either good at something or you’re not.” These people shy away from challenges and avoid failure at all costs.

• A growth mindset says: “You can improve with effort.” These people believe that failure is part of learning and are willing to keep going, even when it’s hard.

This directly affects how we approach passion.

“Follow your passion” is a fixed mindset narrative—it implies there’s one right thing waiting for you to discover. And if you haven’t found it, you’re doing something wrong.

“Try things” is a growth mindset. It says: passion comes through engagement, not before it.

Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs famously spoke out against the “follow your passion” myth. He noticed that the happiest, most fulfilled people weren’t following childhood dreams—they were roadkill removers, septic tank cleaners, and bridge painters. People who found meaning in doing something well and recognizing its value. Passion followed mastery—not the other way around.

Me now… “finding” my passion for leading women’s retreats, after allowing myself to try.

Passion Follows Curiosity

Passion often starts as a whisper. A flicker of interest. A breadcrumb.

And yet, society demands certainty from us at 17: “Pick your college major. Decide your career path. Know what you want to do with your life.” 😳

But how can you cultivate deep interest if you haven’t even had the chance to experience life?

Cambridge Dictionary defines passion as “an extreme interest in or wish for doing something.” But interest doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s cultivated through trying things.

Neuroscience backs this up. When you try something new, neurons fire together—creating new pathways. And as the saying goes: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

You literally cannot know what you’re passionate about until you’ve allowed your brain to experience enough to make connections.

Try First. Passion Later.

In Big Magic, Liz Gilbert shares how, after the massive success of Eat, Pray, Love, she was paralyzed by pressure. What could possibly follow such a hit?

Instead of forcing creativity, she turned to something simple: gardening.

Tending to plants sparked a small curiosity. That led to botanical research. Which led to a new novel, The Signature of All Things. Passion was not struck like lightning—it was unearthed through following the thread of curiosity.

That’s the magic.

Passion is not a lightning bolt. It’s a thread of interest. A whisper. A breadcrumb. A willingness to try.

Tools for Cultivating Passion

If you’re feeling stuck, don’t wait for clarity—start building it.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• What made me lose track of time this week?

• What activities give me energy? What drains me?

• When something sparks interest, ask: “What about this intrigues me?”

• What did I love doing as a child?

• What do people come to me for?

• What about my current work do I love doing?
  

You Don’t Need to Know. You Just Need to Try.

Passion isn’t waiting somewhere out there for you to stumble upon it. It’s something you build through trying, exploring, experimenting.

For the longest time, I thought I had to find my passion to feel lit up. But passion is something you generate through action and engagement. The more engaged you are with life, the less pressure you feel to “figure it all out.”

So no—don’t follow your passion.

Follow your curiosity.

Follow the threads.

Follow what lights you up, even just a little.

And trust that passion will find you in the process.

Have a friend who’s stuck trying to “find their passion”?
Forward this to them. Or hit share below!

Let’s normalize curiosity > clarity. If you’re interested in diving deeper on exploring your unique gifts and sharing them with the world, get on the waitlist for my next mastermind.

Go out and be awesome.

Sensi