Dear LORD, where is the summer going?? How have you been!? What smut have you been reading?? Lol clearly we have a lot of catching up to do. But seriously, what smut have you been reading? Hook a girl up with a rec below.

What smut have you been reading? Drop a rec!

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Speaking of smut, have y’all seen “The Invite” yet??? Spoilers ahead so skip this part if you haven’t seen it yet.

If you have seen it: let’s fucking CHAT. Wow. I loved this film. It’s so incredibly funny, inventive yet simple, and covers what we all know and love here on the pod: group sex (in an incredibly awkward and hilarious way). Co-written by Rashida Jones and directed by Olivia Wilde (who also stars in it alongside Seth Rogen, Edward Norton, and Penelope Cruz)!! Incredible.

I thought the way this film covered the common questions people have about group sex was SPOT on: “How does it even happen? What are we going to do? Are we going to do this right now? Is there double penetration involved?” lol. The delivery of the lines: iconic. I also like how it didn’t take itself too seriously. And how the entire movie took place in one apartment over the course of a few hours.

New episode!: Why Porn Addiction Isn’t A Thing with Dr. Nikky Prause

Or listen on your app of choice here

What is a "gooner" and what do they have to do with so-called porn addictions? DB sits down with Dr. Nikky Prause, a clinical scientist and researcher who's written on everything from asexuality to penis size preference to compulsive sexual behavior. And we found her in a pretty interesting way... from a YouTube video that claims to be a look into a real gooner's life and struggles, all revolving around a porn addiction. Dr. Prause was a featured expert -- but what's her side of the story?

Our guest this week is Dr. Nikky Prause!

Dr. Prause is a clinical scientist. Her training at Indiana University focused in neuroscience and statistics. She also holds a license in California as a clinical psychologist. Her research focuses on the effects of sexual behaviors on general health.

Further reading:

We found Dr. Prause from this video on gooning that was… interesting. It definitely left us with some big questions for her. Take a watch here if you want more context for this episode!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

• This Week in Abortion News (Rewire) - You likely heard that Trump’s pick for the new Attorney General, Todd Blanche, was confirmed in the middle of the night even after a recording of him vowing to ban abortion nationwide was leaked. But did you know some actually good things happened in abortion law and policy this week? Rewire New Group has your round up of good news from Kansas and Missouri, where courts and voters blocked efforts to restrict abortion through anti-democratic means.

• Massachusetts Passes Law Leaving Abortion Between a Pregnant Person and Their Doctor (WBUR) - Relatedly, Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey (D) signed into law a measure that gets rid of any gestational limit on abortion, instead leaving the decision where it belongs: between a pregnant person and their doctor. In signing the law, the Governor cited stories of Massachusettsans who had to leave the state for abortion care when complications developed late in pregnancy – an important reminder on why any limits on abortion care are unwarranted and dangerous.

• AOC is Freezing Her Eggs – and Sharing the Process Online (the 19th) – This week U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) took to social media to share her journey of freezing her eggs – and in the process, making many women feel less alone!

• American Public Opinion on Trans Athletes is Out of Step with the Science (them) – American pundits continue to fall for propaganda demonizing transgender athletes, when the truth is the science shows that (the very few!) transgender athletes do not have an advantage in sports. This article from them compares public polling to what the science actually says.

• The Pro-Teen Pregnancy Movement Has Taken Over the Trump Administration (Slate) - File this one under just plain creepy! Slate details how the current presidential administration is raging against reductions in teen pregnancy and gutting programs designed to prevent it. Yikes!

S.E.X I.R.L 💋

Welcome to S.E.X I.R.L: your curated monthly list of sex-positive events, spaces, and experiences happening in person across major cities. 🎉

BROOKLYN, NY (8/15/26) TOMORROW!: Dirty Circus: Hot & Bothered: House of Yes presents Dirty Circus, our longest-running variety show. Circus, cabaret, burlesque, aerial acrobatics, pole dancing, drag, sideshow and beyond! Have a magical night out with the most talented performers in NYC, delivering all the weird, wild, and wonderful you can handle on the legendary House of Yes stage.

LA, CA (8/16/26): C.N.C Creatives Not Censored: An erotic queer art exhibition: Introducting C.N.C (Creatives Not Censored) an erotic queer art exhibition focusing on queer and kink life represented in different forms of artwork that most spaces won’t welcome or want to display. TW: nudity, bl00d, explicit content, sexiness overload

SEATTLE, WA (8/20/26): What The Funk?! An All BIPOC Burlesque Festival: Conceived as a tribute to Funk music as a show idea in early 2018 by founder and co producer, Mx. Pucks A’Plenty, WTFFest is now a three-night celebration of art and culture.

CHICAGO, IL (8/21/26): Girl Power Drag Dinner: Join us for Girl Power Drag Dinner, featuring choreographed drag shows, incredible costumes, and the world-famous Kit Kat Divas.

AUSTIN, TX (8/23/26): Step into the red light and surrender to the heat of YES SIR. We are the ultimate underwear dance party fueled by driving Tech/House beats, mesmerizing gogos, and a packed room of gorgeous guys. Yes Sir is a fever-dream of queer joy designed for actual dancing, real connection, and unapologetic energy.

SF, CA (8/29/26): H.O.L Party: The Bigger & Bolder Outdoor Leather, Kink, & BDSM Dance Party & Kink Celebration Returns to San Francisco @ EAGLE SF with DJs Matt Consola & DJ Moody. Brought to you by Gabe Real & Matt Consola, H.O.L is back in SAN FRANCISCO, transforming the EAGLE into the sexiest outdoor dance floor in town with massive visuals, lasers, iconic imagery, the hottest men, bootblacking, leather & kink vendors, Cigar Area, Indoor “Red Room” and two cutting edge tech and house djs as MATT CONSOLA and DJ MOODY push the night to a whole new level.

DB’s Download

• Listening To: This Hyperfixed pod episode about a delicious cake that nearly went extinct!

• Reading: Good Eggs -- really cute novel about three generations of Irish misbehavors.

• (Re)Watching: Mad Men. Muahahhah.

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Next episode: How long should it take to ejaculate — and what actually counts as premature ejaculation?

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

I hope you’re all soaking up summer in whatever ways feel great for you. Maybe taking some time for yourself to read a good book, or catch up with some old friends. Summer is my favorite season -- I’m not a woo woo person, but I feel happy and healed when I swim in the ocean; I try to do as much of that as possible every summer. There’s…

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Kate Helen Downey is the creator and host of CRAMPED, an award-winning podcast (with maybe the best podcast theme song ever made) all about her experience with what she calls “death cramps.”

I’m guessing a lot of you read that phrase and immediately understand.

The podcast is amaaaaaaazing — but so is her newsletter! We love this edition she did on a recent study that really, in Kate’s words, will make you lose your fucking mind. 🫠

We’re so so so happy to share some of the edition here, but you’ll have to subscribe to her Substack to read the rest! And I promise, you’re going to want to. And before you subscribe there, make sure you’re subscribed here too!

Her edition starts just after S.E.X. I.R.L. Thank you SO MUCH Kate!

S.E.X I.R.L 💋

Welcome to S.E.X I.R.L: your curated monthly list of sex-positive events, spaces, and experiences happening in person across major cities. 🎉

CHICAGO, IL (7/10/26) TONIGHT!: Chicago Fetish Weekend is back for an exciting fourth year! Fourth annual fetish-focused weekend, centered around the Midwest Rubber and Midwest Leather contests. Featuring two parties, education, kink market, and brunch.

BROOKLYN, NY (7/11/26): Black Cherry is the first of its kind, a monthly sideshow experience featuring some of Brooklyn’s premier Drag performers giving you shows like you’ve never seen before and we wanted to take this pride to fostering new and burgeoning BIPOC sideshow talent!

LA, CA (7/15/26): Join us for Sex Positive Los Angeles’s monthly Polyamory Processing Group! This is a gathering where individuals who practice or are interested in polyamory can come together to share experiences, discuss challenges, and provide mutual support. This is a safe, non-judgmental space for people to talk about their relationships, navigate the complexities of polyamory, and connect with others who share similar values or experiences.

AUSTIN, TX (7/19/26): LEZNITE! Lezzz B. Honest presents a massive watergun and balloon fight celebrating a birthday. Bring your own water weapons for a queer splash in the evening to beat the Texas heat. The event features vendors, food, and drinks at Ani’s Day & Night.

SF, CA (7/24/26): Love Isn’t Blind is a comedy/dating show that’s been featured on The Tamron Hall Show, NBC’s California Live, and more. Apply to be a contestant here, nominate your single friends here, or just grab tickets to watch!

SEATTLE, WA (7/25/26): LaQueer: An LGBTQ+ Sex-Positive Party [in-person]: This event is for queer folx and their friends! “Queer” here is used as an umbrella term for anyone who identifies as not-heterosexual or not-cisgender, including but not limited to people who identify as: gay, lesbian, bisexual, genderqueer, agender, bigender, transgender, third gender, trans, genderfluid, gaymo, bicurious, asexual, homosexual, homofabulous, homoflexible, heteroflexible, intersex, questioning, pansexual, MTF, FTM, butch, femme, fag, dyke. If you identify with one of these groups, then this party is for you!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!: BISEXUAL FLIRTING NIGHT IN OAKLAND, CA SOLD OUT last month!!! If you want to hear about more Bi Flirting Nights in the Bay Area, sign up here!

The Endometriosis Attractiveness Study: Get Ready to Lose Your F***ing Mind

We read all 7 horrible pages so you don’t have to

If you’ve spent any time in the period pain and endometriosis corners of the internet, you’ve seen posts about this study, where 4 doctors RATED THE ATTRACTIVENESS of patients and called it science. I always assumed it was some fringe garbage paper nobody took seriously, maybe something that was commissioned by a beauty brand or something.

But then I read all seven pages of the study. And it was SO much worse than I ever expected. I immediately texted my friend, Professor of Data Science Andrea Jones-Rooy, and demanded we talk about it on mic.

Before I tear this apart for you, here’s the deal on this study:

Full title: Attractiveness of Women With Rectovaginal Endometriosis: A Case-Control Study. Already so many red flags. It was published in 2013 in the Journal of Fertility and Sterility, and the study was funded by the University of Milan School of Medicine. It was SOMEHOW ethics board approved and peer reviewed. The lead researcher (Dr. Paolo Vercellini, I WILL NAME NAMES) was a past president of the World Endometriosis Society, and won a EndoFound award in 2025 for his contribution to endometriosis research, though presumably not for THIS research. This absolute trash study stayed up for seven years before it was retracted in 2020, after enormous effort from multiple advocates to have it taken down.

“I went into this expecting it to be problematic and was somehow even more upset by the end of it. This purity of shit is remarkable. This one made us all dumber.”

-Professor Andrea Jones-Rooy, Data Scientist

What question were they trying to answer? Does it actually go deeper than “Are people with endo hotter than people without endo?”

It goes…ONE level deeper.

Their hypothesis seems to have been:

• If people with endometriosis generally have excess estrogen in their systems (which is true, endo lesions have been proven to generate their own estrogen supply)

• And if higher levels of estrogen usually correlate to more attractive/feminine features like smooth skin, fuller lips, bigger breasts

• Then are people with endometriosis statistically more attractive BECAUSE of their higher estrogen levels?

At no point did they propose a way that their findings would actually help people with endometriosis, mind you.

300 study participants were recruited in 3 different categories:

• Patients with rectovaginal endometriosis (deep infiltrating endometriosis, sometimes categorized as Stage 4, severe)

• Patients with peritoneal or ovarian endometriosis (considered less advanced/severe)

• Patients without endometriosis

Excluded from the study groups?

• Anyone who wasn’t of the Caucasian race

• Anyone with congenital anomalies

• Anyone with “acquired physical defects (e.g., following an accident of any

  type or a medical/surgical disease with physical consequences)”

• Anyone who had “previous aesthetic and plastic surgery procedures”

• Anyone with “visible tattoos or piercing, fixed orthodontic appliances, colored contact lenses, and completely dyed hair”

So who determined the EXTREMELY subjective “attractiveness” of the patients that passed all these criteria? Four doctors. But don’t worry! Two of those four doctors were female, so NO BIAS THERE!

These DOCTORS rated these PATIENTS’ ATTRACTIVENESS on a 5-point scale: 5: very attractive; 4: rather attractive; 3: averagely attractive; 2: little attractive; 1: not at all attractive. IS YOUR SKIN CRAWLING YET?

I wasn’t able to tell from the published study whether these doctors rated these patients based on photos taken during their regular gyno appointments, or if the attractiveness ratings were done in person or at a separate time, but ICK!! Imagine going in for a regular gyno appointment, or an appointment with your endo doctor for your DEBILITATING DISEASE THAT HAS NO CURE, gamely signing up to participate in a study that you hope will help the research of this disease, and then, unbeknownst to you, having 4 doctors rate how attractive you are.

Read the rest HERE!:

CRAMPED

The Endometriosis Attractiveness Study: Get Ready to Lose Your F***ing Mind

Enjoying CRAMPED? Without your support, CRAMPED will go away…

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2 months ago · 1 like · Kate Helen Downey

Sensera: you’ve never seen something like this before.

Okay cuties -- you know I love a pleasure product that understands a very basic truth: bodies are not static. What feels good and what your body needs can shift based on your mood, hormones, stress, cycle, meds, relationship -- all of it.

That’s why I’m excited to introduce you to Sensera, a smart sexual wellness device designed to bridge the gap between pleasure and wellness.

Sensera is sensor-powered and designed to adapt to you. It uses biofeedback (ummm VERY cool) inputs like movement, pressure, moisture, and muscle activity to help create a more personalized experience in real time. One of the coolest parts about it: it can sense when your body may need more lubrication and release it automatically through internal and/or external exit points -- so you don’t have to stop and reapply! Revolutionary!!

Through the Sensera app, you can tailor the intensity, patterns, timing, and settings, plus choose different usage modes depending on how connected you want the experience to be. The app also learns your preferences over time, helping create programs that are more aligned with what you actually like.

The design also includes ribbing, clitoral suction, optional heat for both the device and lubricant, and the choice to dispense lubrication internally, externally, or both. It’s built for comfort, pleasure, and personalization -- not a one-size-fits-all.

The Sensera Starter Kit includes one Sensera device, four lubrication capsules, a charging cable, quick start guide, and storage sachet.

Buy the Sensera Starter Kit and use code SEXEDWITHDB for 10% off.

Buy now!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

• Young Women in England Have “Close to Zero” Risk of Cervical Cancer Thanks to HPV Vaccine (BBC) - a first-of-its kind study published in the Lancet shows that for the first time ever, ZERO women from age 20 to 24 died of cervical cancer in England, all thanks to childhood vaccination against HPV. The study also found significant decreases in mortality in women aged 25-29 and 30-34. A huge win for preventative reproductive programs!

• HHS Cancels Most Teen Pregnancy Prevention Grants (Stateline) - The Trump Administration’s Department of Health and Human Services is canceling 53 of 67 grants under the agency’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program, arguing that the programs “normalize sexual activity for minors.” Meanwhile, teen pregnancy have significantly declined over the last 20 years, in many ways because of such programs. The cancellations will pull nearly $68 million of funding from more than two dozen state programs and is the latest in a trend of this administration pulling funding from evidence-based reproductive health programs.

• Supreme Court Lets States Block Trans Athletes from Women’s and Girls’ Sports (The 19th) – In one of its last decisions of the term, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that bans on transgender athletes participating on girls’ sports teams does not violate Title IX or the equal protection clause – despite treating trans athletes differently on the basis of their sex assigned at birth. Right wing politicians and outlets continue to demonize trans athletes to win points with their base – despite the fact that NCAA’s own president has reported that there are less than 10 transgender college athletes in the country.

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DB’s Download

• Listening To / Watching: Rosalía’s Lux Concert -- GOD she’s amazing 🤤

• Reading: Sandwich! It’s so cute and summery and menopausal! Lol I recommend <3

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Next episode: Libido Pills and the Myth of the Quick Libido Fix with Dr. Rebecca Levy-Gantt

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

What does advertising have to do with sex ed? What is a “female problem”? What’s the history of marketing things like pads, tampons, and douches? And has any of this gotten better in modern times?

We’ll be live at 12PM ET / 9PM PT at the link below, ready with a presentation you’re NOT going to want to miss, and access to our chat as we go!

Join or RSVP here!

Adult Sex Ed

Adult Sex Ed is a newsletter about the stories behind our sexual beliefs—where they came from, who invented them, and why they stuck. Expect investigative articles, weird sex history, and sharp humor from writer and filmmaker Dani Faith Leonard.

By Dani Faith Leonard

Want a little preview of what we’re going to be talking about? Here’s one slide that I think is going to really pique your interest. Did you know that the first snake oil salesman was a salesWOMAN?

Can’t join us tomorrow? No problem!

The recording will be sent out as a newsletter edition once it’s wrapped, and you can watch it whenever you’d like! You won’t be able to participate in the chat — but you’re always welcome to send me an email at sexedwithdb@gmail.com!

I hope you’ve had such a good Pride month this year whether you’re queer, questioning, or someone cheering us on. It’s been a rough time out there for LGBTQ+ folks, so partying is something we deserve even more than usual!

What is the Pride in your area like? Have you ever gone? Why or why not?

Today, we’ve got a listener question about what it means to be “queer enough.” This is such a common feeling for so many queer people, so before I go into my answer, remember: you belong here! You have community here!

Let’s get into it!

✒️Ask DB

Here’s the question:

How do I know if I’m not cisgender? I’m middle-aged, and I’m only just now starting to think about my gender in a real way, but I don’t know if I can be sure. It feels like it’s too late, or like I’d absolutely know if I were trans. I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body but being called a man doesn’t always feel good either. I don’t know what to think anymore.

Thank you SO MUCH for reaching out! I’m sure what you’re feeling must be really lonesome and scary – but being open to asking yourself these questions is such a huge step. Be proud of yourself!

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Happy Friday and Happy Pride!!!! 🏳️‍🌈Tonight, I’ll be celebrating my little (big) tushy off by facilitating our second ever Bisexual Flirting Night (which FULLY SOLD OUT btw!!!). 💙🩷💜If you want to sign up for the next one, make sure your name’s on the list here!

Flirting is so important to me, personally. (Not kidding!) It’s fun! It’s freeing! It’s a cute way to connect with someone else! I’d love it if you considered flirting with a stranger this weekend -- even if it’s just making googly eyes across a bar or restaurant. Report back on how it feels. 🙃

Enjoy this guest edition by the wonderful Emily Zed Sex Ed! And don’t forget to scroll to the bottom to see our sex ed in the news updates AND our S.E.X I.R.L events happening this month across a bunch of major cities!

Maybe you’ve seen the word neuroqueer floating around online, and it immediately resonated, maybe you thought, “wait, what does THAT mean?“, or maybe you’ve never seen the term until right now.

I”m Emily (she/her), a queer sex educator, sex coach, and support worker who helps neuroqueer folks navigate sex & relationships with more confidence. Over the years, I’ve noticed how many neuroqueer people feel like they’re navigating sex and relationships without a map, and how rarely mainstream sex education speaks to their experiences.

And for a lot of people I work with, discovering the word neuroqueer feels a little bit like finding a missing puzzle piece, because it finally gives language to an experience many folks have been living for years.

So... What Does Neuroqueer Mean?

At its simplest, neuroqueer is a term some people use to describe the intersection of queerness and neurodivergence.

For some, it’s simply a way of saying or coming out as, “I’m both queer and neurodivergent“, but for others, it might go deeper than that and give recognition that neurodivergence doesn’t just exist alongside sexuality, gender, dating life, relationships, or experiences of intimacy - it actively shapes them.

As with every label, though, it can be personal - and not every queer/neurodivergent person identifies as or with the term neuroqueer.

But for many people, the term captures something important: the fact that these parts of themselves aren’t separate. They’re actually quite intertwined…and this includes in sex & relationships.

The Neuroqueer Experiences We Don’t Talk About Enough

Now, of course, there is no universal neuroqueer experience. But there are certain themes that come up again and again in my work as a sex educator & coach.

1. Double the Social Cues

With clients, I often get some variation of: “I feel like everyone else got instructions that I somehow missed.”

Maybe:

• The rules around dating can feel confusing

• The expectations around sex can feel unclear

• The assumptions people make about your gender can feel arbitrary or dysphoric

• You have no idea how you’re supposed to know if someone is interested in you??

As a neuroqueer cutie, you have two sets of unclear cues to work through - social and queer. Not only are there just the regular ol’ societal/body cues - like facial expressions, body language, vocal tone, and small talk. But queer culture comes with its own set of social expectations and “norms”; like flirting, fashion, and queer terms & references.

The problem is, a lot of the expectations around sex and relationships (in both mainstream and queer sex culture) heavily rely on unwritten social rules. And, well, “unwritten rules” can be extremely hard to follow when nobody actually writes them down.🤷🏻‍♀️

2. Running on Fumes

One thing I hear from neuroqueer folks all the time is how much mental and emotional energy goes into dating, sex, and relationships.

A change in stimulation can trigger an emotional or sensory spiral, a simple interaction can turn into an hour of analysis, or a conversation about boundaries or preferences might get rehearsed repeatedly before it happens…if it ever happens.

Meanwhile, everyone else appears to be moving through the same situations effortlessly.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving - but when you’re doing so much processing and unlearning behind the scenes, it’s no wonder things are going to be more exhausting!

3. Wondering Why Something That Should Feel Good Feels So Complicated

And honestly, it’s a fair question.

For many neuroqueer people, sex and relationships involve navigating additional layers that aren’t often acknowledged in mainstream conversations. Things like communication differences, sensory experiences, social & queer cues, internalized homophobia/queer imposter syndrome, executive functioning challenges, gender dysphoria, and the lingering impact of years spent feeling misunderstood.

And when those layers aren’t being talked about (especially within our own communities), it’s easy to assume the difficulty is a personal failing rather than a reflection of the realities you’re navigating.

Here’s What I Wish More Neuroqueer People Knew

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this post, it’s this: for a long time, many neuroqueer people have been trying to navigate sex and relationships using advice that wasn’t necessarily designed with their experiences in mind.

So when dating feels confusing, communication feels harder than it “should,” or sex feels more awkward than expected, it’s easy to assume the problem is you.

But what if it isn’t? What if some of those struggles aren’t personal failures at all? What if they’re connected to the ways queerness, neurodivergence, and intimacy intersect?

It gives us a framework for understanding experiences that can otherwise feel confusing or isolating.

And it reminds us that we’re not navigating them alone.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you’ve been reading this and thinking, “Wow. I thought it was just me,” you’re definitely not alone.

That’s exactly why I created From Awkward to Assured - a webinar for neuroqueer folks (or their partners!) who want to better understand themselves and feel more confident navigating sex, relationships, and intimacy.

We’ll explore some of the challenges that often get overlooked in mainstream sex education, why confidence can feel especially complicated for neuroqueer people, and how to start building a version of sexual confidence that actually works for you. 💜

You can learn more here: https://www.emilyzedsexed.com/neuroqueer-webinar

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

Trump administration confirms it’s restoring LGBTQ+ youth crisis line it eliminated last year. (Advocate) - Even though LGBTQ+ youth—especially trans youth—face disproportionately high rates of depression and suicidality, last summer, the Trump administration shut down the 988 Lifeline’s crisis line for those very young people. Now, because of a directive from Congress, efforts are underway to restore the crisis line for LGBTQ+ youth, but as is to be expected with this administration, the news is not all good. Instead of working to fully restore specialized care for LGBTQ+ youth in crisis, the agency leading restoration efforts has made it clear that it aims to leave out trans youth in compliance with a Trump executive order that rejects federal recognition of trans identities, leaving the LGBTQ+ community skeptical of what the final outcome will be.*

These Republican Lawmakers Challenged Abortion Bans. Then They Faced Backlash. (ProPublica) - Two things the Republican Party doesn’t want you to know: 1) abortion bans are deeply unpopular—even among Republican voters—and 2) voting in primary elections is just as important as voting in November. In this breakdown from ProPublica, reporter Cassandra Jaramillo details contested Republican primary races where anti-abortion incumbents got unseated because they *checks notes* weren’t anti-abortion enough. If your state’s primaries haven’t happened yet, take this as your sign to find out when they are and to make a plan to get out and vote. And if they have, keep this energy for November. In too many places, one vote could quite literally determine whether or not we can make our own decisions about our bodies.

Leading OB-GYN group releases vaccine advice differing from CDC’s (USA Today) - Since RFK Jr. has taken office as the Secretary of Health & Human Services, vaccine schedules have been an almost constant topic of conversation. Not because vaccines are suddenly questionable…but because the people in charge of our health policy are. This is most obvious in the fact that leading medical organizations have been feeling the need to publish their own vaccine schedules rather than going by what the CDC has put out. It happened last year with the American Academy of Pediatrics, and it happened again this week with the American College of Gynecologists—both times in response to the CDC removing the COVID-19 vaccine from its recommended immunization schedule for healthy children and pregnant women. I know whose guidance this pro—public health girlie will be following…

*The federal government may not have the LGBTQ+ community’s needs in mind, but support is available. Trans folks in crisis can reach out to the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860. And LGBTQ+ youth (24 and younger) can reach out to the Trevor Project Lifeline at (866) 488-7386.

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S.E.X I.R.L 💋

Welcome to S.E.X I.R.L: your curated monthly list of sex-positive events, spaces, and experiences happening in person across major cities. 🎉

AUSTIN, TX (6/12/26 - TONIGHT!): Sapphic Traffic Light Social and Fundraiser: Looking for sparks this Pride? Whether you’re single, crushing, committed, or somewhere in between, this is the night where flirtation meets celebration at the ultimate Sapphic Traffic Light Party.

CHICAGO, IL (6/13/26): Sinners Sanctuary: Pride in Hell ($lut’s 2-Year Anniversary): Calling all sinners: slutty bi and pansexuals, kinksters, horny gays and sapphics, gender-nonconforming babes, throuples, polycules, sex workers, friends who sometimes make out, and anyone ever told your desire was a sin against God. Welcome home.

BROOKLYN, NY (6/17/26): The Erotica Ball: A Madonna Erotica Celebration is a visceral, immersive performance exploring the awakening of erotic desire. Inspired by the provocative spirit of 90s nightlife and Madonna’s Erotica era, this electrifying experience fuses dance, drag, and cabaret into a living explosion of energy. As the night unfolds, pleasure and control blur, revealing the cost love and romance bring to sex and power.

LA, CA (6/21/26): SABO NO SABO: An underwear party and backyard bash hosted at Temple Grounds. It features kink demos, drag performances, go-gos, and a clothes check in a BIPOC kink-safe space.

SF, CA (6/27/26): SF Pride Parade & Celebration: The massive 56th Annual SF Pride Parade marches down Market Street on Sunday, June 28, starting at 10:30 AM. The weekend-long Civic Center festival runs June 27–June 28, featuring live music, community stages, and the Faery Freedom Village.

SEATTLE, WA (6/27/26): Queer Naked! Yoga for Pride: Make friends with your body with a special class in celebration of Pride! All levels welcome. Celebrate PRIDE Weekend with us in a revolutionary act of self-care and acceptance. Join Willow for a Vinyasa yoga and meditation class (about 75 minutes total).

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!: BISEXUAL FLIRTING NIGHT IN OAKLAND, CA SOLD OUT!!! If you want to hear about more Bi Flirting Nights in the Bay Area, sign up here!

Want me to include your city next time? Did you find an amazing event I should feature? TELL ME HERE!:

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@paper__pepperRestoring Van Gogh’s Ear & Mending His Broken Heart🎨 #asmr #satisfying #vangogh #papercraft #makeover

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DB’s Download

• Listening To: Immersive Spanish Podcast -- I’m learning Spanish!! LMK your fav Spanish speaking tools.

• Watching: These WILDLY creative ASMR videos!!! Omg have you guys seen these?!?

• Reading: Real Americans by Rachel Khong! Just started it but loving it so far!!

Next episode: The Truth About BV and Intimacy with Daniella Levy

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

Our first Bisexual Flirting Night last month was a HUGE success! So we’re running it back! Ready to flirt with hot bi babes?? Deets below, BUT if you already know you’re down to hang:

RSVP on Partiful now!

This event welcomes bi and pansexuals looking to flirt, hang out, and find community here in Oakland. Join me to celebrate the joy of loving all genders with folks excited to do the same. Maybe you’ll find a cute new crush. Maybe you’ll find a hot new hookup. But almost definitely, you’ll find fun new friends!

Let’s kick off the Pride season with drinks, raffles, and sexy prizes!

Be sure to buy your ticket QUICK! Tickets are going fast — right now, we only have 39 spots left! We absolutely cannot guarantee that there will be any tickets available at the door. Don’t wait to grab yours!

Bisexual Flirting Night Deets:

• Friday, 6/12 @ 7pm-9pm @ Two Pitchers in Oakland (outdoors; to the right of Lovely’s)

• $29 per ticket (includes free drink + 2 raffle tickets to win fun, sexy prizes)

• Tons of activities and opportunities to flirt with hot bi babes!

• YOU MUST RSVP YES IN PARTIFUL AND VENMO @DANIELLEBEZALEL $29 IN ORDER TO BE ON THE GUEST LIST! All sales are final; no refunds or ticket exchanges.

RSVP on Partiful now!

Love you, mean it, and HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

<3 DB

Okayyy this week’s question from a closeted lesbian is incredibly vulnerable and sweet!!

BTW if you have a question you want to ask anonymously, fill out the anonymous form! Sleepover subscribers always get the answers first!

Also: if you’re queer, questioning, closeted, newly exploring, or deeply exploring -- welcome. You’re in good company. :D

This week’s question is not just about sex. It’s about identity and trying something new when you don’t totally know what to expect.

Let’s get into it.

✒️Ask DB

Here’s the question:

“I am in my mid-20s and haven’t come out to my family yet but I’ve been exploring being a closeted lesbian. I’ve been trying the WLW dating pool and a woman on the HER app asked if I wanted to try getting ‘strapped’ sometime. I had to Google the term lol. I’m interested to be honest but super nervous. It’s not just the physical part but the psychological part of another woman doing that to me. Anyway thank you for hearing this gay gal out.”

First of all: welcome, gay gal. I’m so glad you reached out 🫶

Second of all: everything you’re feeling makes A LOT of sense.

Read more

I’m writing this about a week earlier than when you’re seeing it because as of this moment, I’m eating baguettes and fromage and seeing mad art in Paris!! Can you believe?! Me neither wowowow. 🙃

My husband and I are celebrating 10 years together (!), hence the Paris trip. I’m so lucky to be in a healthy, happy partnership and I’ve learned SO much in our 10 years together. The most important thing I can share: we work because we laugh together every day. And because I still genuinely have a crush on him after all of these years. And lots of other reasons, of course but mainly laughter, crushes, respect, trust, and lots and lots of love. <3

SOMETHING NEW IN OUR NEWSLETTER THAT I BET YOU’LL LOVE! Introducing: S.E.X I.R.L: your curated monthly list of sex-positive events, spaces, and experiences happening in person across major cities. 🎉In this edition, we have sex-positive May events in SF, LA, NYC, Chicago, Austin, and Seattle!

Want us to share sex-positive events in your city? SHARE YOUR CITY IN A COMMENT!

Leave a comment

Also! A *MAJOR* welcome to the beautiful bisexuals who attended our recent bisexual flirting night and are brand new to this newsletter!! I’m so glad you’re here! If you missed our first bisexual flirting night in Oakland, CA, sign up for the next Bay Area Bisexual Flirting Night HERE. We can’t wait to see you there so we can all flirt our little tushies off! 💋

We’re coming back with Season 14 of the pod on 5/20, so get ready! Our season premiere is with THE Ericka Hart!! You’re going to love it. 💅🏼

Enjoyyyyy!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

They Came for Mifepristone. The Abortion Rights Movement Is Ready. (Mother Jones) - You may have heard it’s been a roller coaster of a week for mifepristone. Last Friday, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals reinstated a medically unnecessary in-person distribution requirement. Then, on Monday, the Supreme Court stayed the ruling until May 11 (meaning, at this moment, mifepristone is STILL available via telehealth and mail). While no one knows for sure what comes next, given the make-up of the courts making the decision, the fate of mifepristone is shaky. But abortion advocates have been preparing for this moment and are committed to keep helping abortion seekers get the care they need using just misoprostol, the second half of the abortion pill. Read what a leading expert has to say about misoprostol-only abortion and what may be in store for it, and then go rage donate to an abortion fund—because f*ck the courts, abortion forever.

How a Legal Challenge Over Gender Dysphoria Became a Fight for Disability Rights (Rewire News Group) - Whenever Ken Paxton is leading the charge in a lawsuit, you know it’s a bad one. And this one is no different. Some context: In 2024, 17 Republican-led states sued the Biden administration for including gender dysphoria as a disability in Section 504, a portion of a federal law that prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities in programs that receive federal financial assistance, such as public schools. They ALSO challenged the constitutionality of Section 504 itself. And even though a judge ruled in their favor and removed gender dysphoria from the list (🤮)—which these states claimed was their priority—eight of the states are not satisfied and want to see Section 504 done away with. In showing how an attack on one group is always much broader, this lawsuit is a prime example of why intersectionality matters.

They Blame Feminism for Falling Birth Rates—but Data Says It’s Saving Families (Ms. Magazine) - The U.S. fertility rate has hit another all-time low, and—surprise, surprise—conservatives are blaming it on feminism. And they’re being loud about it because they want us to forget that the ACTUAL reason most people give for not wanting to have kids is they can’t afford them. (Remember: Conservatives are also the ones who are leading attacks on childcare and healthcare access.) If you happen to be represented by such a lawmaker at any level of government, this article may be one you send to them.

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S.E.X I.R.L 💋

Welcome to the first edition of S.E.X I.R.L: your curated monthly list of sex-positive events, spaces, and experiences happening in person across major cities. 🎉

SF, CA (5/9/26): Daytime queer dance party at El Rio: MANGO + MOTHER + SOULOVELY @ EL RIO: SF Dyke March Benefit. Proceeds go directly to supporting the Dyke March!

LA, CA (5/12/26): If you’re looking to meet more amazing non-monogamous humans in LA, this Non-Monogamy Speed Friending is for you! Whether you’re hoping to find new friends or other connections, this is a chance to laugh, mingle, and build community.

SEATTLE, WA (5/14/26): There’s a Kinky Prom Play Party happening at Gallery Erato -- yes, exactly what it sounds like. Expect themed outfits, dancing, and a crowd that’s here to flirt and explore. Enjoy music, snacks, photo booths & more!

AUSTIN, TX (5/15/26): The Texas Burlesque Festival is back! A full weekend of performances, parties, and workshops celebrating burlesque, cabaret, and unapologetic self-expression. It kicks off with a mixer + show at a nightclub, then moves into big theater performances featuring performers from all over the country.

BROOKLYN, NY (5/22/26): Welcome to POLY n BLACK! This gathering is a safe, joyful space centering on Black and Global South peoples who are non-monogamous, polyamorous, or exploring ethically open relationships looking for other like minded folks.

CHICAGO, IL (5/22/26): This is MAD SCIENCE!: a cabaret of transgender transgressions and experimentations with bodily autonomy. A communal celebration of joy and independence through performance and personal expression. Featuring a mixture of music, drag, and performance art, MAD SCIENCE! is a one-of-a-kind showcase not to be missed.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!: Events like HUMP! Film Festival tour multiple cities (including a few of these), featuring ethical, indie porn created by real people -- not the mainstream stuff you’re used to.

Want me to include your city next time? Did you find an amazing event I should feature? TELL ME HERE!

Leave a comment

DB’s Download

• Listening to: FREE SPIRITS ca7riel y paco amoroso -- y’all. I CANNOT stop listening to this album. OMGGG it’s sooo gooood! PLS listen and dance with me!

• Watching: HACKS IS BACKKK thank GODDDD.

• Reading: Yesteryear!! I just started but I can’t WAIT to keep diving in. About the book if you haven’t heard about it from 6 people like I have: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke is a satirical debut novel about a “tradwife” influencer who wakes up to find herself living the harsh reality of 1855, forcing her to confront the difference between her curated online life and the brutal historical period she peddled. Affiliate link here if you want to check it out!

Season 14 coming soon!

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

I’m very excited about this edition because you’re getting the hot goss before it drops on the podcast in 2.5 weeks! 👀

This is one of those questions that people carry around quietly for a long time. It touches religion, family, sex, and identity. And it’s the kind of thing that can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong just by thinking about it (I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there since shame is a very powerful and effective evil tool).

Let’s get into it.

Here’s the question:

“As a religious woman, I now see my values around sex and sexuality shifting. Is it reasonable to want to keep my non-traditional relationships hidden from family? I want to explore my sexual desires without judgment.”

Read more

We’re in between seasons right now and I hope you’ve been enjoying our in between content! Lots of highlight eps and fun eps from other great pods and re-releases from eps you’ve loved in the past. I just wanna take this opportunity to thank my STELLAR team for making the pod so great and help me get sex ed out there to the masses! Thank you Sex Ed with DB team [we say in unison]. Truly -- couldn’t do it without them. <3

In other news, I’m going to Paris and the South of France in 2 weeks and I can’t WAIT! Lots of museums and walking around and croissants and baguettes and cheese (can you tell I’m hungry as I write this?) and gardens and fun. It’ll be an absolute blast and I can’t wait to tell you how it goes!

Enjoy this edition! :D

Do you have any Paris recs? Share them here!

Leave a comment

🎙️This month on the podcast

Getting ready for Season 14! 🎉🎉🎉

You can listen to the full episodes from these best-of podcasts here:

• The Pleasure of Subbing with Lina Dune

• What Happens Inside a Consensual Master/Slave BDSM Relationship? (Between Us)

• Trans Pleasure, Explained: Trans Sex 101 with Jamie Joy

• Friends to Lovers and Fighting for Trans Rights with Activists Elle Deran and Ezra Michel

And be sure to subscribe to The Longest Shortest Time, one of our favorite podcasts!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

As US Birth Rate Falls, Feds’ Response May Make Pregnancy More Dangerous (KFF Health News) - For decades, Title X—the federal government’s only dedicated family planning program—has focused on making contraception, STI screenings, and reproductive healthcare accessible to low-income folks, regardless of their ability to pay. Like all good things, it is now facing attacks by the Trump administration. With new CDC data showing a drop in the fertility rate, Trump’s HHS wants to revamp Title X to reverse this downward trend. Read what public health experts have to say about just why the proposed changes could spell chaos for the millions who depend on Title X for essential healthcare.

Court rules trans people have right to accurate IDs: “Trans discrimination is sex discrimination” (LGBTQ Nation) - In 2023, Montana Governor Greg Gianforte signed a bill into law that led to trans folks in the state being unable to get legal documents that reflect their gender. In a major victory, the state’s Supreme Court just ruled that 2023 law unconstitutional, affirming that trans Montanans have the right—and must have the ability—to get IDs that reflect who they are. Bonus good news: this case is not the first win trans Montanans have had in court: last year, the state’s Fourth Judicial District Court struck down the state’s ban on gender-affirming care for trans youth. Go, Montana!

My month in the tradwide world: ‘I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying myself at all…’ (The Guardian) - Tradwife content—whether it’s the content created by tradwives or content created by others talking about tradwives—is seemingly everywhere. To try to get to the bottom of our fascination with this (deeply misogynistic) trend, journalist Lucy Knight spent a month consuming as much of this content as possible—from closely following tradwife social media accounts to trying their recipes to reading the novels about them. And though the tradwife world is something I want no part of, Knight’s reflections on and insights into it are a must read.

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Sex Ed Trivia

Correct answer at the very very bottom of this edition. No cheating!

DB’s Download

• Watching: Shrinking -- still on Season 1 and it’s growing on me!

• Reading: The Psychology of Money -- pretty interesting stuff about finance, saving, wealth, and more! Would recommend.

• Listening To: Bomba Estéreo’s new song Cielo Azul

What have you been loving?

Leave a comment

Next episode: Give Mindblowing Blowjobs with Shameless Sex Hosts Amy Baldwin and April Lampert (Re-Release)!

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

Pssssst… the correct answer was A, beaver testicles ground up and mixed with moonshine and drank! Spoilers this did NOT work.

Question for you -- when’s the last time you felt really, really good in your body? That you looked at yourself in the mirror, touched your skin and thought “wow, I feel good about myself.”?

If it’s been a while, let this serve as your reminder to do something that gets you to that place this weekend. Maybe it’s wearing your favorite outfit, putting on a bit of makeup, listening to your favorite songs and moving your body. Maybe it’s looking at one part of you in the mirror and saying out loud that you love that part about yourself. Maybe it’s asking your partner to tell you what they love about your body that day. Whatever it is, try to get in that headspace.

Intrinsic confidence is so important. You don’t need permission to feel at home and sexy in your body!!

Enjoy this edition!! :D

💌Ask DB

Subject Line: Help please! Advice ask

Hi DB!

I’ve wanted to try out some kink with my partner but I’m so nervous about bringing it up. How do I even get started? I’m usually really shy and even just normal conversations about sex make me nervous. But I don’t want to keep missing out on something I might really like and I think my partner would too! What do I do???

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I’ve been in NYC all week visiting friends and family; I also watched a high school honor band perform one of my step dad’s music pieces in front of thousands of people at Carnegie Hall!! It’s so amazing to support my talented step dad and I’m jazzed (lol) that my family and I were able to show up for him in that way! :D

FYI: We’re releasing our free newsletter once a month moving forward so pay extra attention when our name lands in your inbox if you wanna be in the know about all things Sex Ed with DB!

I’ll eat a plain slice for you all (and a BEC on a toasted everything bagel) while I’m here. Enjoy this edition! :)

March episodes of Sex Ed with DB!

Listen here on your app of choice!

Further reading:

• DB’s favorite lingerie (it’s not what you think!):

  • Noor Sheer Mesh Top Black

  • Latex Bodysuit Black

• Modern Sensuality Community Campaign

These aren’t even affiliate links! They’re just GOOD!

Coming soon:

• 3/18: 13 Lessons for 13 Seasons of Sex Ed with DB

  • HAPPY END OF SEASON 13! 🥹🎉

• 3/25: BEST OF: DESIRE ❤️‍🔥

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

Judge won’t stop Kansas from taking away trans drivers’ licenses (LGBTQ Nation) - Bad judge alert! After Kansas enacted a law requiring trans Kansans’ birth certificates and driver’s licenses to match their sex assigned at birth, the ACLU sued for a temporary restraining order to block enforcement of the law. While the mental health and practical (the law gives no grace period for documents to be updated) harms are glaring, this judge did not agree. Read his ruling that shows that weaponized ignorance is very much a thing–and get ready to roll your eyes harder than you’ve ever rolled them before.

Abortion bans reshaped reproductive health, and now the rental market (The 19th) - Since the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022, states with abortion bans have experienced hospital labor & delivery units closing, OBGYNs fleeing, higher poverty rates, and higher property crime rates. Now, research from the National Bureau of Economic Research shows that hurting rental markets are yet another negative side effect of banning abortion. Read the findings–and one couple’s story of having to uproot the life they’d built over a decade because of Idaho’s abortion ban–and then maybe send this article your anti-abortion lawmaker’s way.

Is Testosterone a Miracle Cure for Menopause? (Rewire News Group) - Folks going through menopause are raving about testosterone online, claiming that testosterone use has made significant positive differences in the ways their bodies feel and look. Despite this, research and accessibility–not just for cis women experiencing menopause but anyone who is not a cis man–have yet to catch up to the excitement. Read what testosterone users and healthcare providers have to say, and then check out my podcast interview with my OBGYN mom from earlier this season for more conversation around just this topic.

Share

Sex Ed Trivia: Oscars Weekend edition! 🏆

Bonus points if you guess who was nominated in 1998!

Answers at the very end of the newsletter. No cheating!

DB’s Download

• Watching: The Pitt (always and forever)

• Listening To: Normal Gossip (cannot recommend more!)

• Reading: Circe -- it’s gooood y’all

Leave a comment

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

Psssst: Answer to trivia is Colman Domingo! Rami Malek is straight, Christopher Walken (who is bisexual!) was nominated for SUPPORTING actor in 2002, and Billy Porter has never been nominated! And back in 1998? That’s all-time queer icon Sir Ian McKellan!

Happy Fridayyyy! Yeehaw! Welcome to our sleepoverrrr! Let’s stay up late and watch trash TV and eat TONS of pizza. Sound good? 🙃

We have another incredible anonymous listener email this week! I’m excited to get your thoughts on it! And you get access to my FULL answer below since you’re a part of our Sleepover Crew!! Lucky you hehe.

Before you start reading, I want you to remember that you can ask an anonymous question, too! And I’ll absolutely answer it!

Send me an anonymous q!

AND — in this Sleepover edition, you’re also getting an extended version of my conversation with Dr. Justin Garcia, author of The Intimate Animal! This audio includes everything we cut for time, but man, cutting anything out was hard. He’s so brilliant! Let us know if you want more of these extended interviews in The Sleepover, too! 👀

Happy reading!

Read more

I want to dive RIGHT in with an ANONYMOUS listener email today. It’s all about how best to talk to precocious and curious kids asking questions that stress us out — understandably!

BTW: Thank you SO much to this wonderfully brave anonymous listener for being vulnerable and sharing your story!! If you want to share your anonymous story, write to me at sexedwithdb@gmail.com or fill out this anonymous form here!

Ennnnnnnjoy!

📨Subject Line: Advice for dad with curious daughter

“Hello there,

I heard you on an episode of TAPE and you mentioned something during the show that made me want to reach out for help.

I’m the dad of a very precocious 8 year old who has a lot of questions about her body and men’s bodies. (Please allow me a tangent to say thank you for suggesting we teach her the anatomy of, well, her anatomy. We’ve (my wife and I) been using the term vagina when referring to anything in that region of the body. I will try to be more specific about the many different organs(?) in that area when she asks questions. Thank you! The more you know...do do do do.) We generally don’t try to hide information from her and are open about the human body and certain things that we feel that her precocious 8 year old mind is appropriate for. I would like your help with something that happened just the other day.

After I had used the bathroom I came out and she told me that I should wipe. I replied that boys don’t have to wipe after they pee. Of course, since a half-assed attempt at dodging a question never works on her (I love it!), she asked why not. As I stood there for a few ticks, internally panicking trying to think of something honest yet appropriate, I came up with, “Well, boy’s penises are on the outside of their bodies and don’t need to be wiped like girl’s vaginas for them to stay healthy.”

As soon as I finished that sentence the train she was driving hit me square. She said, “How so? Can I see?” I calmly (in spite of the Wilhelm scream in my head and vomit rising in my throat) told her that I’m not going to do that and maybe mommy can show her some of her anatomy books. At that point she shrugged it off and continued setting up Mancala for us to play.

My question is, did I handle this situation okay and do you have any suggestions on how to educate her without scarring her for life?

I ask this with the full understanding that every child is different, there are a lot of confounding variables at play, blah, blah, blah. I’m just reaching out to a complete stranger hoping to get some guidance with this very difficult topic. You know, when I write it down it almost sounds crazy 🤪

Thank you”

📨DB’s response:

“Hey!

What an awesome email to receive on a Friday afternoon -- thank you so much for entrusting me with this story and sharing! You’re in the right place.

I’m going to just say a bunch of stuff that I’m thinking and hopefully, something hits:

Want to read my full response? Subscribe to The Sleepover below!! In The Sleepover, I answer EVERY question I get — plus, we’ve got extended editions of episodes, deep dives into sexy topics, wild salacious stories, and more!

New episode!: Hardwired for Connection: Intimacy, Pleasure, and Survival with Dr. Justin Garcia

Are we in an intimacy and loneliness crisis? And if so, what's so bad about that? A lot more than you might think. Dr. Justin Garcia's new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love details why intimacy is VITAL for survival in the human species. We are social animals, and that's not something the digital age can get around. Join DB for this BRILLIANT conversation with Dr. Justin Garcia all about what intimacy is, how it works, and why we need it.

Listen on your app of choice

Our guest this week is Dr. Justin Garcia!

Dr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist and international authority on the science of sex and relationships. Since 2019, he has served as the Executive Director of the world-renowned Kinsey Institute, where he is also a Senior Scientist and Ruth N. Halls Professor in the College of Arts and Sciences at Indiana University. His latest book, The Intimate Animal, explores the science behind why we live for love and is available now for purchase.

• https://kinseyinstitute.org/about/staff/executive-director-justin-garcia.html

• https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/intimate-animal.html

• https://www.instagram.com/kinseyinstitute

• https://www.instagram.com/drjustingarcia/

• https://www.linkedin.com/company/kinsey-institute/

• https://x.com/kinseyinstitute

• https://x.com/DrJustinGarcia

Further reading:

• The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love

  • (This is an affiliate link to our Bookshop.org shop! We’ll receive a percentage back if you buy with our link -- and we hope you will!)

• “13 Love Statistics That Put Romance into Perspective” on Reader’s Digest with Dr. Justin Garcia as an expert!

• And a reminder: you can hear even more of this BRILLIANT interview in next week’s edition of The Sleepover!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

• ‘Higher-than-anticipated demand’ led to condom supply shortage in athletes’ villages, organizers say (The Athletic) - It’s common knowledge that free condoms are made available to athletes at the Olympics. And while this very availability has been a topic of discussion in the past, this year’s breaking news is that it took 2,871 Olympians one week to get through 10,000 condoms. Is this a sign that public attitudes are shifting? And, if so, can we take advantage of that shift to FINALLY make easy condom access for young people a thing?

• Texas sues doctor for “misrepresenting” patients’ genders & for billing under the wrong codes (LGBTQ Nation) - In Texas, puberty blockers and hormone therapy for youth are legal…but only if you’re cisgender. However, there are still doctors in the state—like Dr. Jason Jarin—who refuse to let transphobic laws interfere with patient care and act on it. For Dr. Jarin, this has looked like reporting his patients’ gender rather than sex assigned at birth and billing for “acceptable” uses, like billing hormone therapy for trans girls as contraception. Unfortunately, Ken Paxton found out and is reacting in the way he always does: bringing forth a lawsuit. I for one am rooting for Dr. Jarin and taking this as further proof that not all heroes wear capes (and that all villains pale in comparison to Paxton).

• I was told my inability to conceive a second child was a ‘mystery’. In fact, I was simply ignored (The Guardian) - If you have a uterus, you also probably have a story about your pain being brushed away or ignored by a healthcare provider. In this article, Katie Found shares the story of her “unexplained secondary infertility” and the years-long journey she went on to get answers and relief. It’s a read I highly recommend, even if it’s just for the vindication of this line: “‘Unexplained’ is not a diagnosis. It’s a failure of imagination, time, or willingness.”

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DB’s Download

• Watching: The new season of Love is Blind. Zoinks. It’s not good but I can’t, how you say, look away.

• Reading: Orbital -- has anyone read this? If so let me know what you think about it!

• Listening To: DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS (CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP!)

What have you been loving recently?

Leave a comment

Next episode: Seducing the Booty: Tips for Pleasurable Anal Play with Luna Matatas

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

Ah, the sweet sweet release of a Friday. We made it. There is so much opportunity. The world is our oyster! Unless you are on the East Coast and battling an ice / snow storm at this very moment. (Please stay safe out there!!). What’s on the agenda this weekend for me, you may ask? Well, lots and lots of Pickleball. I’m also going to the batting cages with some pals, which I haven’t done since I was a wee lass. I’m also maybe even going to a poetry night! A good way to get out all the feels. <3

New episode!: Baby Gay, Big Pleasure: Coming Out Later in Life with Eva Bloom

Coming out later in life? Welcome to you! Coming out is such a personal process, whether you're coming out to yourself or your loved ones. In this episode, DB talks with queer coach Eva Bloom all about what coming out later in life can look like.

Listen on your app of choice

Our guest this week is Eva Bloom!

Eva Bloom (they/them) is a queer & trans late bloomer coach, community facilitator, and inclusive sex-ed speaker. With training in social psychology and their own lived experience, they help adults come into their queerness with confidence, and university & college students have healthy relationships. Eva is the founder of the digital platform @whatsmybodydoing which has supported over 3 million people across the globe. You can learn more about them at:

• https://www.evabloom.ca/

• https://www.instagram.com/whatsmybodydoing/

Further reading:

• Obsessed with the url and vision over at baby.gay

• “The Catastrophist, or: On coming out as trans at 37” by the amazing amazing amazing Emily St. James

• AND Emily’s amazinggggg breakout novel, Woodworking!

This edition is brought to you by: LELO

🔥 POP QUIZ 🔥

Drumroll please…
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Correct answer: D) Anterior fornix.

The A-spot is a pleasure-sensitive area located deep inside the vagina along the front wall, just before the cervix. “Fornix” literally means arch or vault -- aka a tucked-away pleasure pocket.

✨ Quick A-spot fun facts:

• Deeper than the G-spot

• Rich in nerve endings

• Can boost natural lubrication

• Loves slow, steady pressure over fast thrusting

Curious what deep pleasure actually feels like? Consider this your invitation to… research.

The LELO Enigma™ Double Sonic is designed to reach the A-spot with a curved insertable tail and a sonic tip that delivers steady, intentional pressure where fingers and bodies sometimes can’t.

💘 Valentine’s Day bonus: LELO is running a huge sale -- and you get an extra 20% off with my stackable code DB20.

BUY NOW!

What’s Up Down There (Sex Ed in the News)

FDA Targets Gender-Affirming Garments, Warning Companies That Serve Trans Customers (Rewire News Group) - In December 2025, the FDA sent letters to 12 companies that sell chest binders — compression garments that look like sports bras — a letter stating they must register with the FDA because chest binders are “medical devices.” The big issue? Only companies that market to trans people received the warning. Read the reactions of several affected business owners — and the very real warning they have for how this is another weapon in the Trump administration’s war on trans people.

A Texas lawsuit tests the legal protections for doctors who provide abortion pills (The 19th) - Texas has a bad track record of passing terrible law after terrible law meant to make abortion completely out of reach in the state. So far, none of their attempts have succeeded, as Texans have continued to access abortion pills by mail. House Bill 7, however, is a new approach: it allows private citizens to sue ANYONE who mails or distributes abortion pills, making it a direct challenge to abortion shield laws, which exist in several states where abortion is lrg to protect abortion providers who provide care across borders. And it’s already being tested—this lawsuit that could have chilling consequences for bodily autonomy is one that we should all follow.

As male birth control gets closer to reality, men are lining up for clinical trials (STAT) - While the receptiveness of men to taking birth control may have been low in the past, it has surged in recent years—partially due to the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022. And of the products currently being tested, there are THREE that are potentially only a few years away from commercialization. Read the stories of the men who are flooding email inboxes for a chance to take charge of their reproduction—and the very interesting origins of birth control for men.

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DB’s Download

• Watching: Nonnas. Very sweet and filled with Italian food that made my mouth water and made me miss NYC (only a lil 😏)

• Reading: Educated. Jfc. Really intense but can’t put it down! Highly recommend!

• Listening To: Very much a throwback but Maggie Rogers’ “Heard It In A Past Life” which is one of my fav albums of all time. 🙂

What have you been loving lately?

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Upcoming episode: Why do some early experiences turn into lifelong fetishes?

Love you, mean it,

<3 DB

It is the LAST DAY to participate in the Sex Ed with DB audience survey! This survey can be completed in just five minutes, and it helps the show so so so much. We still want more responses so pleeeeeaaaaaase submit yours TODAY!

Take the survey PLEASE!

Two lucky listeners will win $50 cash in a random draw for submitting (via Venmo, PayPal, whatever works best for you!) and EVERYONE will get one of our stickers!

These responses help us show sponsors our value to them, but they ALSO help us make the best show we can for you. Think the episodes are episodes are beautiful and perfect? Tee hee hee thanks 😌 LET US KNOW! Think our episodes are bad and smell bad too? Okay well mean but valid and also I think you have synesthesia 😔 LET US KNOW! Think we should be focusing our resources on contacting aliens to ask about their freaky alien sex? We’re probably gonna need to go back to college to figure that out and we’ve probably already missed the deadline for fall enrollment so LET US KNOW, FAST!!!

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who submits! You’re truly doing one of the things that keeps us going and making the best show we can!

PLEASE take the survey!

Tomorrow is the last day to participate in the Sex Ed with DB audience survey! This survey can be completed in just five minutes, and it helps the show so so so much. We still need as many responses as we can get, so don’t think we already have enough and not submit!

Take the survey PLEASE!

Two lucky listeners will win $50 cash in a random draw for submitting (via Venmo, PayPal, whatever works best for you!) and EVERYONE will get one of our stickers!

These responses help us show sponsors our value to them, but they ALSO help us make the best show we can for you. Loving the second Pleasure season and want another? Let us know! Have a guest you’d love to hear on the show? Let us know! Think we should send every single listener a pet baby elephant? Well, we’re definitely gonna need more sponsors to make that happen — so LET US KNOW!

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who submits! You’re truly doing one of the things that keeps us going and making the best show we can!

PLEASE take the survey!