I am only a beginner on the path of love.
Don’t ask me for directions,
I am also lost in its infinite beauty

— Bholenath.

These words, from the heart of my beloved spiritual brother Bholenath are perfect in their divine expression of the sacred heart of love.

Let us be lost in this love, today and evermore. Never beginning, never ending — this eternal now — this ever unfolding moment is all there is only this, ever made, ever remade, of love.

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summer’s end —
a single leaf falls
and autumn appears

—
Words and image by Andō.

Support Silentium as a paid or founding subscriber, becoming a patron, making a donation, or support my journey through physical and cognitive decline. Explore my offerings at ando.life.

Whether running, walking, or standing still, why are you seeking the light, when the light is already right here, with you, around you, and within you?

Humankind have sought it in the deserts, the mountains, the forest. For millennia upon millennia, we have searched for it, as if it could be anywhere but here within us, and we within it, right now.

Just as Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī expressed:

You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean, in a drop.

You see, you’ve simply been looking the wrong way.

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Before entering
silence, we must let go
of all concepts.

Both of the nature
of silence, and of
ourselves.

This is the work.

—

Words and image by Andō.

Support Silentium as a paid or founding subscriber, becoming a patron, making a donation, or support my journey through physical and cognitive decline. Explore my offerings at ando.life.

^{In dialogue with silence, Alentejo, Portugal. 25 November 2020.}

I took this photograph as I paused writing in my caravan in the forest, a little under six years ago. As I sat alone, my journal open, alongside an ongoing contemplation of Dialogues with Silence by Thomas Merton, my own sense of dialogue with silence was itself transforming, and by such transformation, it was transforming me, drop by drop.

The true contemplative is not one who prepares his mind for a particular message that he wants or expects to hear, but is one who remains empty because he knows that he can never expect to anticipate the words that will transform his darkness into light.

— Thomas Merton, in Dialogues with Silence.

What does it mean, to be in dialogue with silence?

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I am an old man now and have had a great many problems. Most of them never happened.

— Mark Twain.

Stop.

Pay attention to your mind for a moment, a split second, or a few minutes.

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_{in the mountain village,
melting snow drips
even from the stars.}

_{— Shugyō Takaha.}

Over in A Quiet Garden, my ambient music Substack, I shared this contemplative piece of music that arose this morning in…

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Seeking peace,
I turn within, to the stillest,
quietest place I know.

This place knows me,
I reside here, unborn,
silent, and at peace.

But even this seeking
must come to an end,
even this peace we must be transcend.

To rest as that which is the source
of both seeking and finding,
peace and disturbance.

— Andō.

Be still my friends, even in the face of the most testing times in your life.

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When the mind is truly at peace, wherever you are is pleasant, whether you live in a marketplace or in a mountain hermitage.

― Baisao, The Old Tea Seller

Let us gather around a cup of tea, fine pu’erh from an ancient brick.

Let us sip, in silence and stillness.

Slow down.

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The movement of the evening moon.

silent
moving stillness
— the moon is early tonight

Stepping outside the back door, the cicadas start up again, and I look up.

They’re calling me to gaze upon the moon.

Softly, I bow in thanks, and bring this morsel to your table to share, the dust already gathering on it.

—

Words and image by Andō.

These words were originally shared with my Patreon community, in the series ‘The Nature of Silence: Notes from the inner room’ in July 2018. This work was supported by patrons then, and published there alone. Perhaps, at some point in the future, the words from that series, and others, may be published in book format, and shared more widely. Time alone will reveal.

Support Silentium as a paid or founding subscriber, becoming a patron, making a donation, or support my journey through physical and cognitive decline. Explore my offerings at ando.life.

Courageous rest

To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to the violence of our times.

Some of us
need to discover
that we will not begin
to live
more fully
until we have the
courage to do and see
and taste and experience
much less than usual....

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Pay attention.

Notice the small, simple things.

The quiet corners, the dust glinting in the morning light, the hum of a nearby bee.

Each is a prayer, a moment for the light to pour in — the light of gratitude — throw open your doors and windows to it.

Rest here.

—

Words and image by Andō.

Support Silentium as a paid or founding subscriber, becoming a patron, making a donation, or support my journey through physical and cognitive decline. Explore my offerings at ando.life.

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.

— Shunryū Suzuki Rōshi, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

Shoshin (初心) is a concept in Zen Buddhism commonly translated as “beginner’s mind”.

It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.

Shoshin is a Japanese word, combining two characters, 初/sho and 心/shin. The first aspect, sho, translates as first, or initial, and the second, shin, as mind, or heart-mind, as it is understood in Zen Buddhism. We can also find it translated as “initial intention.” For a Zen Buddhist, this points to innocent, unsophisticated living, with the humility of a beginner.

But we don’t have to be a Zen Buddhist to live with shoshin. Anyone can benefit from this approach to daily life.

We can embrace beginner’s mind — whatever our faith. We can step into the new, the eternal, the fresh and living moment. This is the truth sought through all faiths and by all seekers. This common ground is the one thing we all share. But some of us aren’t paying attention, and are missing this fundamental point.

Read on, and embrace beginner’s mind…

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The water of your doctrine flows in silence.

Your teaching is not poured into hearts by an eloquent tongue but breathed into hearts by your sweet spirit.

Of you it is written: His voice will not strain or shout. It will not be heard abroad.

Inside it is heard; within the heart it is heard; in silence it is heard.

— Prayer of Aelred of Rievaulx.

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Into the Great Silence: a seeker’s journey.

Inspiration to keep going, with words distilled from my journals of life in the forest.

Sip them as you might sip a good tea, with each brewing, the flavou…

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Sometimes, we need no more complex a meditation than to capture rainwater, and brew our tea — leaves and rainwater in a bowl.

This is one of the oldest ways to make our tea and drink it.

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sitting quietly
in the empty space
that is Sunday

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Meditation is the action of silence.

— Jiddu Krishnamurti.

In silence, as silence — as silence poured into silence.

Like this I meditate.

Simple, like this.

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The Great Way is not difficult
for those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent
everything becomes clear and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinction, however,
and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

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A Quiet Garden is my meditative ambient and neoclassical music project.

During this time of illness, diagnosis, and hopefully, healing, A Quiet Garden is a place of refuge, rest, and communion with s…

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