The Maternity Edit, Part Two, as promised.

But first, TOMORROW IS THE DAY!

This is your LAST CHANCE to get in on the My So-Called Career Summer Social action, the biggest and best night in the MSCC calendar!

Everyone leaves with a big old grin on their face and a happy heart.

WHEN: Thursday 30th July

WHERE: Kings Cross

WHAT TIME: 6.30pm - 9pm

HOW MUCH: £15.00

You can stay for the whole time, pop in for one, or stay until closing if the fancy takes you.

You can also buy 2 for £20 if there is a woman in your career community who could do with a bit of careers TLC but isn’t sure where to start.

Come, hang out, have a lovely time, see how we roll, and then see how it all feels after that. Are you in?

YES PLEASE!

Now, back to business!

You’ve had a bit of time now to sit with Jackie, Laura, Harriet and Hannah’s words from part one, and thank you so much for your amazing feedback. I had a feeling their words would resonate, but I wasn’t prepared for quite how much. ⤵

Four different women, four different stories — but underneath all of them, the same thing: an identity coming apart and being rebuilt, whether you asked for that or not.

So now, we move to doing - with tips and tools to try, and more crowdsourced experiences included. Let me know what you think.

PJ

Lower your expectations, add a little structure.

“My NCT group met weekly at a nearby pub or cafe — whoever could make it, came. No judgment if a blowout, naptime collapse, or exhaustion kept you home. That routine (and the lack of judgment) made getting out the door in under an hour feel like a win.”

Find your community.

“Even in an NCT group I loved, I was the only one wanting to go back before a year. I found my community at a creche and co-working space, watching women juggle impossible expectations yet stay unafraid to be ambitious. Normalising the mess—the door-wrangling, the exhaustion, the power naps before video calls—made me feel less alone.”

- Katy Zack

Women In Their Own Words

“You had a baby, not a lobotomy.”

— Joeli Brearley, author and activist

So much of what happens after having a baby — at work, in your own head, occasionally in the eyes of a colleague who’s just watched you forget your own name mid-meeting — treats new mothers as though something’s been switched off, rather than added to.

This is categorically NOT the case.

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My number one piece of advice when embarking on motherhood

“Accept the fact that it's really genuinely ok to step out of things for whatever time period suits you and your family. Yes it’s scary when the world carries on without you, but it also doesn’t forget you or erase you.

In fact, once you do return to work, one of the biggest things you might find is just how little has changed right there, while everything about you has fundamentally and foundationally shifted forever. Amid all the complexity, there's growth to be had in that.”

- Rachel Arthur

Coach Yourself Questions: What Are You Rebuilding?

Here’s a framework to help you turn part one of this email into something you can use — whether you’re on leave, back at work, or supporting someone who is. You may notice the build on last month’s curiosity approach - because if it ain’t broke……

Step 1 — Notice where you are

Pick whichever questions work for you. Sit with them, voice-note them, journal them, or talk them through with a friend.

• Which of the four stories did I recognise myself in most? What does that tell me?

• What parts of “who I was before” am I still holding onto — and do they still fit me right now?

• What’s changed in how I want to work, not just how I’m able to?

• Where am I performing “back to normal” instead of being honest about what’s different?

• What would it look like to stop apologising for the change and start designing around it?

Step 2 — Experiment a little

A thing to test, and a trial period:

• “For two weeks I will tell my manager/colleagues/friends one true thing each day about how I’m actually doing, instead of ‘fine.’”

• “I will protect one hour a week that’s held sacred for the version of me that isn’t ‘mum’ or ‘colleague.’”

• “I will ask three other parents at work how they’re really finding it, before I decide how I should be finding it.”

• “For a month my partner and I will trial a new household contract so I am not carrying the entirety of the mental load.”

• Fill in your own idea here..

Step 3 — Review, and decide what to keep.

At the end of your trial period:

• What did I learn about what I actually need?

• What surprised me?

• What am I ready to stop apologising for?

If it didn’t work, that’s data too. You get to try again, or try something else entirely.

Please do let me know if this is useful, or what came of this experiment! DM or comment below.

Credit: Emma, You Should Have Asked

A piece of advice I’d offer, and one I wish someone had told me:

“Everyone is different, and people around you will have lots of opinions. Even when they mean well by sharing them with you (the irony of me saying this while giving a piece of advice), I think it’s important to remember to follow your own path and do whatever feels right for you.

Whether it’s breastfeeding or not, how long you take off work, or what kind of contact you maintain with work while you’re away, there is no single right or ideal answer. The only right answer is the one that feels right for you. And that can change too! Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the freedom to choose.”

- Federica Cherubini

Tool To Try: Coming Back To Work Well

I loved this LinkedIn post from Joeli Brearley – she who is quoted above – pulling together what actually helped parents in her Growth Spurt community when they went back to work after leave. Worth a click if you’re on LinkedIn, but here it is for the rest of you too — no login, no random recruiter DMs, you’re welcome.

Her core point: you’re not going back having forgotten how to do your job. You’re going back as a different person after one of the most intense experiences a human can have, while being expected to pick up a laptop as though nothing happened.

Babs the baboon is not having any of THAT shit!

Before you go back:

• Do a dry run of the whole morning routine — drop-off, commute, the inevitable missing shoe — so it’s not all new on day one.

• Batch cook, order lunches in, and clear your calendar of anything non-essential for those first few weeks.

• Settle on a small rotation of work outfits rather than deciding fresh every morning.

• Have the conversation with your partner about who covers appointments, nursery admin, sick days and the “your child has a temperature” call — before it becomes an assumption that it’s you by default.

When you’re back:

• Line up catch-ups with colleagues early, so the first week isn’t spent wondering if you still work there.

• Ask your manager for a proper conversation about goals and expectations, not a passing “how’s it going?”

• Be upfront with your employer about what you actually need, rather than what feels like the acceptable answer.

• Find your people — a colleague, a friend, or a community like Growth Spurt. Peer support in this phase matters more than most policies do.

Bear in mind:

• Feeling overwhelmed and under-confident in a job you’re completely capable of is normal, and it passes.

• You’re not less capable than you were before. You’re more capable — you just need support through the transition.

If you’re preparing to go back, or supporting someone who is, Growth Spurt is built for exactly this stage.

My best piece of motherhood advice....

“I asked a colleague further down the road than me how she coped so well managing working with children. She told me she starts the day with 3 fucks to give. She is down to 2 by the time she gets to work, and when they are both gone, that's it until the next day. No exceptions.”

- Vanessa Jane Minaudier (paraphrased by me)

Your Words on My Work

“I found Penny at a time when I really was in crisis: my attempts to return to a freelance industry post-maternity proved very challenging and my self-esteem was at rock bottom.

But from the moment I spoke to Penny, her compassion and understanding was apparent and I knew I had the support of someone who truly wanted to set me on the course that was right for me. At each stage of our time together my confidence grew: her thoughtfully considered questioning and exercises helped me develop the self-belief that had long disappeared. By igniting my curiosity and interest, her guidance lifted me out of my comfort zone and helped me realise what I really wanted from my career.

Since working with Penny I have understood the importance of my own values, realised my potential for growth and fostered the courage to be the authentic version of myself. Working with Penny has allowed me to take ownership of my career and see the many possibilities ahead of me, and I’m finally excited about where I will take my professional journey. I could not recommend Penny and My So-Called Career enough!” – Laura

If you need help navigating this stage — or supporting someone who is — just hit reply to book your free intro call now! Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

So — this is officially month two of the Thinking / Doing experiment.

Last time some of you loved having a thinking edition and a doing edition to work through separately; others just wanted it all in one go and to be done with it, understandably – life is busy.

Now you’ve had a second run at it, I’d love to know where you’ve landed — two useful chunks, or one very long useful chunk? Let me know.

Huge thanks again to Jackie, Laura, Harriet and Hannah, Federica, Katy and Rachel and Vanessa for lending their words.

I’m taking holiday in August so…unless I see you tomorrow night, sayonara until September!

PS - Buy tickets here?!

YES PLEASE!

PJ

We’re going for a flex this month, which I think you are going to LOVE!

But before we get started I have a VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

It’s time for the BIGGEST AND BEST event in the MSCC calendar…

The Summer Social is the evening we come together to make connections, boost each other's brilliance and celebrate our successes in sparkling company.

Everyone leaves with a big old grin on their face and a happy heart.

WHEN: Thursday 30th July

WHERE: Kings Cross

WHAT TIME: 6.30pm - 9pm

HOW MUCH: £15.00

You can stay for the whole time, pop in for one, or stay until closing if the fancy takes you.

You can also buy 2 for £20 if there is a woman in your career community who could do with a bit of careers TLC but isn’t sure where to start.

This is the perfect first step.

Come, hang out, have a lovely time, see how we roll, and then see how it all feels after that. Are you in?

YES PLEASE!

Now, back to business!

One of the biggest topics when it comes to women and work is Maternity + Motherhood, and full disclosure: as a very happily childfree woman, this is not an area I have firsthand experience to draw on.

BUT…. my world is full of awesome women who have wisdom enough to share, be they clients, colleagues, co-workers, friends or family. So this month’s Work-ish is brought to you courtesy of the women I know and trust, who have been there, done that, and had a baby or two vomit on their t-shirt at an inopportune moment to prove it.

We’ve got contributions from legends Jackie Bischof, Laura Hallam, Harriet Wright, and Hannah Ray, Federica Cherubini, Katy Zack and Rachel Arthur to whom I am so, so grateful. (Basically I did pretty much none of the hard work this month and I’m not even sorry about it.)

If you’re not a mum yourself — and you’re thinking this doesn’t sound like one for you – hold that thought. These women are your family, your friends, and your colleagues. They might be about to head out on mat leave, deeply uncomfortable and unsure about what’s to come, or just back and insisting they’re “totally fine, honestly” while feeling anything but, or mid-meeting quietly running through nursery pick-up logistics and the impossibility of summer holiday childcare wrangling while appearing to nod along to your slide deck. One of the most helpful things that you can do is to be curious about what they are experiencing, what support they need and how you can help them. Everything below is just as useful for you — as a manager, colleague or friend — as it is for them.

That being said, this is a subject that brings up a lot - much of which goes unspoken and unseen – and perhaps it is just not a topic you want to engage with right now. If that’s the case, take good care and I’ll see you back here in a month’s time.

This is also month two of my “Thinking / Doing” experiment (thank you to everyone who weighed in last time – and extra special thank you to the legend who replied to say she was a fan of anything that means having me in her inbox more often — more on that at the end of part two, no pressure, but also please do weigh in again). So today is very much the “here’s a lot of good stuff” edition. And when I say a lot of good stuff, I REALLY mean it. This is one to save, come back to, and simmer in.

Part two – coming in two weeks once this has all had time to marinade – is the Doing edition.

PJ

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Women In Their Own Words: 4 Women, 4 Stories

Career Suicide? I Don’t Think That’s The Whole Story

Harriet Wright, Co-Founder & CEO of Branch

We’re told having a baby is career suicide. I don’t think that’s the whole story.

The motherhood penalty is real. 74,000 women in the UK lose their job every year because of maternity leave or the return to work. One in five leave within five years of their first child. It’s the single biggest driver of the gender pay gap and I’m one of these statistics myself.

So I’m not here to pretend it isn’t real. But the longer I work with women through this transition, the more I notice something the numbers miss. That having a baby can actually build a career. Because careers are long. Forty years long. And the question isn’t what you lose in twelve months. It’s who you evolve to be through this chapter. That’s the part I’ve become curious about, and what I see, again and again, in the women I work with, is this.

Personally, you come back braver. You’ve acted on something that genuinely mattered to you, and you’ve been through something hard and survived it. The small office politics shrinks and your courage grows.

Professionally, you come back sharper. The power skills that matter most in the age of AI — empathy, adaptability, reading a room, holding uncertainty — are exactly the ones early parenthood forges. The neuroscience backs this up: pregnancy reshapes the brain’s social and empathic regions, and the changes can last for years. Baby brain isn’t a deficit. It’s a development.

Strategically, you come back having paused at an interesting moment. While everyone else is caught in the noise of a huge technological shift, you’ve had rare space to think, read, and ask the bigger questions.

None of this happens automatically. It takes intention: designing your leave, rebuilding on return, and being supported through it. That’s the work we do at Branch. I believe it can be a transformative career chapter, but it needs a bit of a re-frame!

Check out Harriet’s work at Branch (more info below in Links I Love) and read more from her at mothersatwork.substack.com

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Everything Changes in Motherhood

Jackie Bischof

Becoming a mother really changes you. That sounds like a wildly obvious statement, but nothing prepares you for the extent of that change (if we knew, would as many people do it?).

It goes far beyond your body and brain shifting dramatically — thank you to Lucy Jones and her 2023 book Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood for articulating those changes so powerfully. Your relationship with time, sleep, your partner, friends and family all shifts. Your place in the workplace changes too, along with your understanding of what work means to you and the tradeoffs you’re willing to make to prioritise it — or not. I’ve found motherhood to be a process of restitching the patchwork of my life, rearranging the pieces until they resemble something that fits again.

What’s most bizarre is the pressure to make that transformation invisible. You’re expected to slot back into society as though nothing has happened, as if you’ve quietly grown a third arm and are hoping no one notices.

Shaping your life around these joyful, perplexing, frustrating, miraculous little beings feels as though it should be an intensely personal choice. You can read the books, scroll the blogs, swap advice with friends — you’ll talk about it endlessly with other mothers — but in the end it feels like a private reckoning with the kind of parent you want to be and the person you hope to become after birth.

But that’s also a fiction, isn’t it? Parenting doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s shaped by social, cultural and economic forces that determine not only the opportunities available to you but how wide your choices really are. Once you recognise that, it’s easier to make peace with the feeling that you’ll always be falling short: never ambitious enough at work, never available enough as a partner, never self-sacrificing enough as a mother. That’s less a personal failing than a feature of the system you’re operating within.

I think the trick isn’t to eliminate the guilt. You’ll probably never manage that when so much of modern parenthood seems designed to produce it. It’s to stop mistaking guilt for failure. One of the lessons I hope to pass on to my children is that life is an ongoing exercise in adapting to change: questioning the systems that shape us, extending ourselves a little grace, and believing that doing your best really can be enough.

Hear more from Jackie at thewritethrough.substack.com where she and her co-conspirator Sarah explore the realities of a career in media in tumultuous times.

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Mother, Inc.

Hannah Ray - author and strategist.

I never expected to write about motherhood. To want to write about motherhood. If I’m honest (and I am ashamed to say so now), I saw it as some kind of weakness. A weak subject. A boring one too. Why do all new mothers want to harp on about motherhood? Why do all women who’ve just given birth labour into extreme detail about their experience? But, like all brittle beliefs about parenting held on the flip side of that membrane-like portal, this prejudice snapped when I eventually, painfully, walked through.

Like Neo in the Matrix, based on Plato’s cave allegory, which I think about often, I had the goggles of the simulation lifted off. Oh. This, this, is what it’s all about then. And yet, everyone else seemed to go on in the pretence. Like it’s not about creating new life, and being an animal, and the blood, and guts, and the raw close-to-death experience of it all. I saw motherhood as slippery as the slime you see kids playing with. Society was asking me to hide this gloop into neat, sanitised boxes. But it kept spilling out.

My preconceptions of writing about motherhood were just as dripped in the patriarchy as most of my pre-parenthood ideals. I saw the subject matter as weak because I’d been trained into thinking women move into weakness when they shape-shift into mothers.

We met our first child, our daughter, during the summer of the first Covid-19 lockdown in 2020. In 2024, we had a son. And in 2025 I went to a mother’s day circle and everything changed. That same week, my life tipped over and I did not go back to work as planned. From the rubble, two things remained. What I’d really wanted to lean into for the last five years: to mother, and to write — and this book is the first creation in a new life… [cont.]

To read more, and for details of her book Mother, Inc., visit: hannahray.substack.com

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Why I Was Looking Forward To Coming Home

Laura Hallam, Founder of The Parent Shift | Parental Transition Coach

I love family holidays.

This year we spent two weeks in Cornwall with the girls. We built sandcastles, ate far too many ice creams and tried to squeeze every last drop of fun out of our time together.

In between, I found myself replying to emails, taking the odd call, writing LinkedIn posts and jotting down coaching ideas whenever they popped into my head. Not because I couldn’t switch off, but because I’m in that stage of life where, if I’m not careful, work and family life spill over into each other.

As we packed up to come home, unlike the kids, I realised I was actually looking forward to it.

Not because I wanted the holiday to end. I missed being home. Knowing where everything goes. Having a routine. Being able to find things without thinking. That feeling of familiarity that lets you relax.

It made me reflect on early parenthood.

One of the things I hear most often from new parents is, “I just don’t feel like myself.”

Becoming a parent doesn’t just change your daily life. It changes your internal landscape. The things that once made you feel grounded — your routines, your confidence, your sense of identity, even the way you moved through the day — are rearranged. Suddenly you’re living in a place that looks familiar from the outside, but inside it can feel as though nothing is quite where you left it.

One of my favourite books is Transitions by William Bridges. He reminds us that while change happens in a moment, transition takes much longer. A baby is born in a day, but learning who you are as that baby’s parent unfolds over time.

Slowly, almost without noticing, you build new routines. You learn what matters now. You find a new rhythm. You work out how this new version of life fits together and who you are within it.

Confidence rarely arrives all at once. It grows quietly as the unfamiliar becomes familiar. As you stop having to think about every step. As you begin to trust yourself in situations that once felt overwhelming.

One day you realise you’re no longer searching for where everything belongs. You’ve created a place for it within yourself.

Looking back now, I can see that feeling more clearly than I could in those early days. And that’s one of the gifts of standing a little further along the path. It reminds us that feeling lost isn’t a sign you’re getting it wrong. It’s often a sign that you’re still building something new.

Maybe that’s why I was looking forward to coming home. Not because the holiday was over, but because I know how comforting it feels when somewhere and someone finally start to feel like home.

Read more from Laura at theparentshift.com

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Your Careers Library

A few recommendations this month, in keeping with the curated theme. So consider this a bookshelf, rather than just a book.

• Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood by Lucy Jones

The book behind Jackie’s piece above, and recommended by so many of you it had to make the list. A deep exploration of the biological, psychological and social upheaval of becoming a mother — and why, unlike adolescence, we’ve never really had a word for it.

• Mother State by Helen Charman — recommended by Hannah Ray

A social history of motherhood and its relationship with the state, tracing how politics, welfare and work have shaped (and repeatedly failed) mothers across generations. (Read Hannah Ray's Shelf Life piece with Helen Charman)

• Maternity Service: A Love Letter to Mothers from the Front Line of Maternity Leave by Emma Barnett — recommended by Katy Zack

Rethinking what ‘leave’ is about: a service to society, to your new baby, to your family. Call it a service, not a leave, and the ‘having it all’ myth we were sold starts to fall apart.

• Transitions by William Bridges — recommended by Laura Hallam

The framework behind Laura’s piece above. A classic on the difference between change (which happens in a moment) and transition (which takes a great deal longer, and comes with significantly less fanfare).

• The Motherhood Penalty by Joeli Brearley

The research and reporting behind the stats Harriet quotes above — a clear-eyed, occasionally rage-inducing look at exactly how motherhood shapes pay, promotion and opportunity at work, and why.

• What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen — recommended by Harriet Wright

A validating reminder that the invisible, exhausting work of early motherhood is still work, even when it looks from the outside like sitting on a sofa in the same top for three days.

And if listening is more your vibe, or simply more accessible with a baby…

• Matrescence Unfiltered by Rose Soffel and Bianca Bass

Research, lived experience, and honest conversation about motherhood, career, identity and ambition.

If there’s a book you think should sit on this shelf in the Careers Library, let me know by replying or commenting.

Links I Love

Here’s where to go if you (or someone you work with) needs a bit more support:

• Pregnant Then Screwed The charity fighting pregnancy and maternity discrimination in the UK — campaigning, legal advice, and the research behind most of the statistics you’ll see quoted on this topic (Harriet’s included).

• Growth Spurt Joeli Brearley’s return-to-work programme, built for the whole transition rather than just the first day back — expert guidance, peer community, and practical tools for parents navigating this stage.

• Branch Harriet’s amazing maternity business, helping women design their leave properly and rebuild with intention on their return, rather than muddling through both and hoping for the best.

• Gigi, powered by The Matrescence Advantage I came across Rose Soffel’s brilliant research into matrescence for her MSC on LinkedIn a few months ago and was blown away. With Gigi, she has collated and given away for free an incredible and accessible set of resources for women facing redundancy at the point of return from maternity leave.

That’s the lot for today — four brilliant, wildly different women, and proof that so-called career advice comes in more shapes than just yours truly waffling on about it.

Have a read, let it percolate, and I’ll be back shortly with part two, where we turn all this into something you can actually do, and introduce some more wise words from the Legend Squad to help you find your way.

Until next time!

PJ

YES, I’m back in your inbox. This time with the second partof Curiosity Uncovered (and a fan and a big box of ice lollies 🥵)

As I mentioned a couple of weeks back in part one, this month I’m doing a tiny experiment of my own to split the newsletter in two and see if you prefer it in two useful chunks rather than one very long useful chunk.

Anyone else remembering the Hunky Chunky Almonds from the old Fruit & Nut advert now? No?

Just me then… reaches for a little chocolate snickety snack🍫

You’ve had a couple of weeks now for part one to percolate, and now it’s time for YOU to turn those ideas in to action. Or at least make a plan to do so when it’s a more reasonable temperature outside.

PART 1 HERE IF YOU MISSED IT…

Let’s start with a little inspiration from a woman in her own words…(not me. Another woman. With better words. and a WAY better hat.).

PJ x

Women In Their Own Words

“Research is formalised curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.”

— Zora Neale Hurston, author and anthropologist

I love this quote because it makes curiosity sound active and intentional, and because, well, look at her! Who does not want to be this woman???

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Coach Yourself Questions: What Are You Curious About?

With curiosity comes many questions. One question leads to another that leads to another that leads to another…. and that can be glorious and expansive. But it can also get a little overwhelming, or lead to us feeling a bit stuck with all these ideas and no action.

So here is a fantastic framework to help you add in the purpose.

Step 1 - Pick the question or questions below that jump out for you, and see where they lead.

You are welcome to just sit and think about them, but here are some other suggestions to kick start your curiousity…. Record your answers as voice notes. Pair up with a friend and ask each other. Journal your answers or have a little chat with your AI of choice. Whatever works for you.

• What do I notice has kept pulling my attention this last week/month/year?(Choose your own horizon.) Scribble down anything that applies.

• What do I like most about my job?

• What do I enjoy most outside my work?

• What feels important?

• What gives me energy? What drains it?

• Who are my possibility people - the ones I am drawn to?

• What topics am I always excited to discuss?

• Who do I know who knows about a thing I’m curious about?

• What would I ask them if I did not feel the need to sound impressive, or not waste their time?

• How could x thing be done differently?

• What would feel fruitful, not just productive? (thanks to Vivi Koroma Kala on Linkedin for this gorgeous question)

• What no longer fits?

Step 2 - Once you’ve got a few answers, you just need to make two decisions to turn your musings into a tiny experiment that will give you some data.

A thing to test and a trial period.

“For one month I will read a book before work in the morning instead of checking my phone.”

“I will spend 3 hours each week on my passion project for 12 weeks”

“I will ask 5 women what they are excited about before the end of the month.”

“I will share my freelance services in a Linkedin post twice every week through summer.”

“For one month I will not attend x boring meeting that I never contribute to and instead do something that matters to me.”

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Step 3 - Once you’ve got some data at the end of your test period, you can check in with yourself and review your experiment. You can ask some more questions, and then decide whether you want to Stop, Start or Continue….

• What have I learned?

• What else might be possible?

• What has started to happen quietly?

• What if I just didn’t stop? (Thanks to El Jaskowska.)

If your experiment ‘fails’, that is a cause for celebration. You’ve learned something. You can try again with some tweaks, or chalk it up to experience and try something different.

Importantly, you get to turn a “what if…” into a “what is…”

“What if I went back to school and did a masters?”

“What I know is that when I did a short course, I found the time committment difficult and often didn’t complete the assignments.”

“What if I quit my job to freelance?“

“What I know is that when I spoke to 5 target clients about my offer, 2 said they would hire me, and 1 said they didn’t have budget but it felt like a useful service they would consider in future.”

How is this landing with you?

Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed by possibility? or excited by possibility but not sure where to start? I can help with that…

Your Words on My Work

“Working with Penny was an invaluable investment at a crucial moment in my career. A decade in, I was feeling lost and overwhelmed, with no clear idea of how to go about creating the change I wanted. Penny asked the right questions to guide me, helped me connect the dots of my previous experiences, and helped me uncover new avenues I had not previously thought of exploring.

“Most of all, throughout the sessions, check-ins and exercises, she helped me regain some of my confidence and design a realistic process for tapping into my curiosity – replacing my lack of direction with a sense of possibility. Penny listens actively and with empathy, and during my coaching I always felt seen, supported and less alone in attempting to figure out the next chapter of my so-called career. I would definitely recommend Penny as a coach.”

– M.C.

If you need help uncovering your curiosity, just hit reply to book your free intro call now! Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

Thanks, M.C, you Legend!

So - my question for you is - how do you like this split edition format? One “thinking” edition on the monthly theme and one “doing” edition. Is two editions a month more digestible or do you prefer a monthly cadence?

Let me know.

Until next month and next theme!

PJ x

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When’s the last time you got really curious about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, who you’re doing it for, and how well it’s actually working?

This month’s newsletters (YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT - WE’RE MULTIPLYING!!!) are born out of exactly that curiosity. Well, that, and the fact that I always hit the word limit on here and have to take out things I think you’d love.

In keeping with this month’s addition to the careers library (scroll down to see it…), I am running a tiny experiment and splitting the newsletter into a Thinking Edition, full of ideas and inspiration on a theme, and a Doing Edition, with tools and questions to help you make that theme your own.

I hope you enjoy it, and would LOVE to hear your thoughts.

So why curiosity?

Curiosity is a way of finding your way when you don’t yet know what you want, or when the question of what you want feels so large and annoying that your brain immediately goes offline and starts wondering whether there is anything good in the fridge.

That overwhelming largeness is my problem with people saying, “find your passion.” Yes, they mean well when they say it, but it can be a spectacularly unhelpful thing to say to someone who is tired, stuck, busy, underpaid, unsure, recovering from burnout, paying rent, raising children, dealing with aging parents, or simply trying to get through the week without having a breakdown in the biscuit aisle.

Passion sounds like you should already know. It makes the answer feel hidden inside you, glowing away somewhere, waiting to be discovered if only you journal hard enough, meditate correctly, stop self-sabotaging, update your LinkedIn headline, and become the kind of woman who says things like “I’m just really aligned with my purpose now” while drinking something green.

I’m not saying that whatever your passion might be doesn’t exist. I’m just saying it’s a lot for you to try to find on a Thursday at 11am while already juggling all the things.

Curiosity is easier to work with. It just asks you to notice small patterns – what you keep reading about, what conversations engage you, what work you want more of, what you are sick of pretending to care about, and what keeps waving at you from the back of your brain.

You might find yourself asking someone three follow-up questions about a project they mentioned in passing. Or realise the only meeting you enjoyed all week was the one where you helped untangle a messy problem. You might keep saving articles about an industry you have no official reason to care about. Or feel a little flicker of envy when someone talks about their work.

Work is shifting and AI is in everything, whether invited or not. Job titles seem to be multiplying like gremlins, one person is somehow expected to be a strategist, project manager, analyst, therapist and magician in one, and a lot of us are trying to make sensible decisions in conditions that do not feel especially sensible. I don’t think the answer is to become a frantic little upskilling machine, downloading every tool and turning yourself into a personal brand with a pulse…

But I think staying curious helps. It makes you more likely to ask WHY something is done in a certain way, WHO knows about the thing you don’t understand, WHAT might be changing, WHAT you could learn before you urgently need it, and WHERE the interesting-to-you stuff is starting to happen.

It is also a much more accessible starting point than passion. In the same way that consistency is usually more dependable than motivation, curiosity gives you somewhere to begin when the big answer has not arrived. Which is helpful, because most of us do not need more pressure to become a fully optimised version of ourselves by Friday. We need better questions, better clues, and sometimes permission to poke around a bit before we know exactly what we are doing.

On with the email (pt one!)

PJ

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Your Careers Library

This month’s book is Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff and I’m not going to lie, I LOVE THIS BOOK, and Anne-Laure’s awesome Ness Labs, which she describes as ‘a playground for curiosity’... Colour me OBSESSED.

Her approach is all about identifying the tiny experiments you can start right now to help you continually learn, adapt and grow in small, steady steps rather than giant, jagged leaps of faith.

The idea of a tiny experiment feels so much more humane than trying to imagine what your life will look like in glorious technicolour in 10 years time, or work out whether you’ll be good at/enjoy something before you really try it.

Instead of trying to solve your whole life from where you are standing now, you test something small and see what you learn. That might mean trying a different structure to your week, committing to a regular task for a week/month/year, asking for a different kind of project or hanging out with a different team, going to an event, volunteering for something, or simply keeping a note of those meerkat moments when you feel your ears prick up at the sound of something and you immediately want to hear more.

I know “run an experiment” can sound a bit w*nk, like you’re starting to A/B test your entire personality. But for me, it’s about taking some of the drama out of change…. or using stepping stones to cross the channel.

If you are in a “something needs to change but please don’t ask me what, or how” phase in your so-called career, make this your next book in the pile. Curiosity is the question, a tiny experiment will bring the answer a little bit closer.

If there’s a book you think deserves a place in the Careers Library, let me know by replying or commenting. And if you have thoughts on this one, please share, so I can include them in part 2.

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Links I Love: Curiosity Edition

First up, The Marginalian – my favourite curiosity kickstarter.

Set up by Maria Popova to collect ‘marginalia on our search for meaning, from science and philosophy to poetry and children’s books’ I always find something that sends me off down some sort of wondrous rabbit hole of whimsy or weirdness. I mean that as a compliment of the highest order, the way Maria curates information is utterly glorious. It’s a wonderfully analogue digital product full of strange human brilliance and inspiration that opens you up to curiosities you didn’t know you needed.

Start here: themarginalian.org - and if the first thing you see doesn’t spark anything, scroll down and hit the ‘Surprise Me’ button on the right hand column.

And for those of you looking for a more practical application of curiosity, this Squiggly Careers podcast on the career skills AI can’t replace is worth a listen.

They talk about curiosity, courage, creativity, compassion and communication, which I like because primarily because they all begin with C and you know how much I like an alliteration – but also, it highlights things that help us keep adapting, thinking well, asking better questions and working with other people. Listen here!

If this newsletter has made you think of someone who is bored, stuck, itchy, curious, quietly plotting, wildly uncertain, or currently trying to work out whether they need a new career or just a better Thursday, please share it with them.

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Or reply and say hi - I read every note. I also host The Legend Squad on LinkedIn cheering you on, shouting about your successes and making sure all the amazing women are in the same place.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

Watch this space for Curiosity: The Second Coming in two weeks time!

PJ

This is a special ‘mid-month’ newsletter especially for me to shout about about an amazing event I think you will want to come to.

Normal business will be resumed for the next issue of Work-ish…. but for now….

June is the turning point in the year, and this is your opportunity to look back on what we’ve achieved so far in 2026 in great company.

• What’s worked?

• What hasn’t?

• What can we replicate?

• What are we ready to let go of?

• What will that make space for?

  ---

“I believe that human connection has transformative power in all aspects of our lives” - Esther Perel

This is a small group practice I’ve honed over years. It started as a self-practice, which I then rolled out to a group of friends, and am now making it more widely available for the first time to my lovely Legend Squad of Wonderful Women^TM.

Spaces are limited to 9, and selling fast so if this is right up your street - don’t delay.

Hit reply and BOOK YOURS NOW!

Date and Deets:

Date: Friday June 26th

Time: 8.00 - 10.00

Venue: Ozone Coffee, Leonard Street, London, EC2A 4AQ

Price: £15*

*Coffee and pastries included in the ticket price.

A delicious and reasonably priced breakfast menu is also available for you to order from at additional cost.

How will it work:

We start by eating together. Research shows that eating together builds trust and cohesion.

There will be coffee and pastries provided, and a delicious breakfast menu you can order from should you wish.

As we eat, we will talk about who we are, what we value, what brought us together, what we want from the session.

Once the plates have been cleared, we will shift into a more focused reflection, with prompts for pair and small group discussion and an opportunity to celebrate our proudest moments, and let go of anything that has run it’s course.

The final section of the session will focus on looking ahead - what we want to be saying about ourselves and our so-called careers in 6 months time, what systems we will look to, and what scaffolding we need to hold us steady while we work towards those goals.

The session will close with a commitment from each member of the group and you will leave with enthusiasm, commitment, appreciation for how far you’ve come, and the accountability of your fellow legends.

Who is it for?

For women who care deeply about their so-called careers, and the role of connection and community in bringing them to life.

> If you are receiving this email, it’s for you.

> If you are reading this newsletter, it’s for you.

It’s going to be AWESOME!

First come first served, so hit reply to confirm your place at my breakfast table!

I can’t wait!

PJ

This month, we’re talking about distraction.

I started thinking about this topic, opened one tab, then another tab to check something from the first tab, then remembered a message I hadn’t replied to, then wondered whether I needed a better notebook, then made tea.

So yes. Distraction.

I’m less interested in distraction as a productivity problem and more interested in distraction as a quality-of-life problem. Because constant distraction is bad for us, on so many levels.

When we are constantly interrupted, pulled, pinged, nudged, advertised at, refreshed, updated, notified and algorithmically prodded, it doesn’t just affect how much work we get done. It affects how we feel, how we act, how we make decisions, and whether we can hear ourselves think. It cuts off our creativity, affects our presence with other people, and with ourselves; whether we can tolerate even a tiny moment of boredom without immediately trying to fill it with news, noise, shopping, scrolling, outrage, comparison… Or a little treat we didn’t especially want, but have now bought because apparently that is where the day went.

And while I am very happy to have a little treat, ideally I would like to have chosen it myself rather than been nudged into it by a billionaire’s underlings’ engagement strategy, or in despair at the state of the world.

I’m not going to lie to you, this is an area I really struggle with. My own perceived weakness to distraction has reduced me to frustrated tears on many occasions when the interesting and important things I want to do, and know I will feel better for doing, sit unmoved on my to-do list despite my having been sat at my desk for hours, to all intents and purposes ‘busy’. For vast swathes of the day my mind is like a magpie raiding a jewellery shop, forever flying off to examine a shiny bit of tat with the vain excuse that it might one day be useful. I have to work hard to bring myself back to the moment, or I feel my head start to spin with all the stuff I have thrown at it. My face gets hot, and my eyes feel itchy behind my glasses, and I know I am approaching (or have overshot) my capacity. I feel like the human version of an overheated laptop.

My client sessions offer a welcome respite from my wandering mind, and a reminder that I am still capable of deep, singular focus and curiosity. I can also focus for hours when I’m reading, either finding myself or losing myself in a book. I used to love boxing, and really high-intensity exercise, because it demanded such presence that distraction wasn’t an option. Cancer and two broken elbows later, I swim, and focus on the feeling of water and weather on my skin, the rhythm of my breath, the pace of my stroke.

Now I use an app called Freedom - oh the irony! - to curtail the worst of my digital mental wanderings. Child locks for the internet, as I often describe it. It works on both mobile and desktop, and once a session starts, there is no going back. I can turn my laptop into little more than a word processor, just me, my thoughts, and some nice clicky buttons. For years, my phone has not been allowed in my bedroom - I have an old school alarm clock, and a books-only policy. Some of my clients use Brick. Others swear by phone-off-and-in-another-room, Pomodoro timers, time-blocking, body-doubling, or a hard “no inbox before the first proper task is complete” rule.

What’s your strategy? Hit reply and let me know. Primarily because I STILL need all the help I can get.

If you are struggling to focus, know that you are not weak-willed. You are living inside an attention economy specifically designed to make your attention someone else’s asset. But resistance really is worth the effort. I promise.

A useful caveat here: not all distraction is the same. Pippa Simou recently shared Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s work on ADHD and “hypercuriosity”, which is a reminder that what looks like distraction may sometimes be a different attentional style trying to survive inside systems built for linear, predictable focus.

So this is not about punishing yourself into concentration. It’s about understanding your patterns and building the right scaffolding around them.

On with the email…

PJ

PS. A reminder! If you’d like this newsletter to continue, I need you to do one of three things:

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Your Careers Library

It’s a Twofer this week!

How to Survive the Modern World by The School of Life is useful if you want to think more widely about why modern life feels so noisy, fragmented and overstimulating. Not just “why can’t I answer this email?” but “why does my brain feel like it has been lightly battered by the world I inhabit?”

It looks at the emotional and psychological pressure of living in a world that is technically connected but often feels oddly lonely, anxious and hard to inhabit.

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to share Indistractable by Nir Eyal at all, so maybe call this an anti-recommend. His books give me the ick on a deep level, because he literally wrote the book on how to build habit forming technology, and spent years as a silicon valley consultant helping orgs turn technologies into compulsions “if not fully fledged additions”, before allegedly switching sides and telling us the responsibility to resist lies with us, not with the companies to NOT BE TRASH, or with governments to implement any meaningful challenge or friction.

However, he does make a useful point: distraction often begins with discomfort.

We reach for something else, not just because it is there, but because we are trying to escape a feeling.

Boredom. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Difficulty. Powerlessness. The discomfort of beginning or not knowing, or doing something that matters enough to feel vulnerable. Which is annoying, because it means the phone is not always the whole problem. Sometimes the phone is just the nearest exit.

If there’s a book you think deserves a place in the Careers Library, or you have one that fits the ‘anti-recommend’ category, let me know by replying or commenting.

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Links I Love: Distraction Edition

First up, Katharine Viner’s Guardian piece: How to survive the information crisis: “We once talked about fake news - now reality itself feels fake.”

A great article about attention, journalism, trust, reality, connection and the strange modern experience of trying to think clearly while everything is always happening, always updating and never stopping.

She also writes very honestly about finding it harder to think and write herself, being pulled into “a hundred other distractions” when trying to check a fact, and needing to lock her phone away and turn off the internet in order to actually get the piece written.

I felt seen. and not in a good way. Read it here.

Also worth watching: Chris Bailey’s TEDx talk, How to Get Your Brain to Focus, where he talks about boredom, attention and why our brains need space. Which is useful because boredom has had some terrible PR.

We now treat boredom as a problem to be solved, preferably within 0.4 seconds by opening an app, ordering something, checking a notification, refreshing the news, or deciding that now is the perfect time to research lamps.

But boredom is not always a gaping void, like the Bog of Eternal Stench, to be avoided at all costs. Sometimes it’s the little waiting room where your actual thoughts arrive.

Watch here.

Coach Yourself Question: What Is Distraction Giving You Freedom From?

There is a moment in The Handmaid’s Tale where the idea of freedom is split into two kinds: freedom to and freedom from.

“Freedom to” is the kind we usually think of first: freedom to choose, speak, move, work, want, decide, become. “Freedom from” sounds comforting at first: freedom from danger, freedom from fear, freedom from uncertainty, freedom from ‘not knowing’. But in the book, that promise is used as a way of controlling people. You are offered protection, but the cost is choice.

I am not entirely comparing your phone notifications to a dystopian theocracy. But the distinction is useful.

Because when we are free from some of the noise, the bait, the scroll, the constant consumption, the pressure to know everything, answer everything and have an opinion on everything, we may regain a bit more freedom to.

Freedom to be present. Freedom to make better decisions. Freedom to finish a thought. Freedom to be bored. Freedom to be creative. Freedom to notice what we actually want before flinging ourselves at the nearest distraction. Freedom to recognise what we feel.

A useful way into this is a distraction audit. Ask yourself:

My main distraction downfalls are:

Phone? Email? WhatsApp? Slack? The news? Online shopping? Other people’s urgency? Vague tasks? Avoiding a decision? Avoiding the one email you have given the emotional status of a hostage negotiation (hello yes, this is me!)?

One thing I could start doing is:

Putting my phone in another room while I’m working. Using Freedom or Brick. Doing one proper task before opening my inbox. Writing down the first tiny step. Taking five minutes to stare out of the window without making it a personal development exercise. Starting my day with a phone-free walk rather than starting with screens.

I’ve been experimenting with starting my day with half an hour’s reading recently, and the impact it has on my ability to focus throughout the day is astonishing.

One thing I could stop doing is:

Checking messages before I have properly arrived in the day. Working with all notifications on. Pretending I can “just quickly” look at Instagram. Treating every gap as something that needs to be filled.

One thing I should continue doing because it already helps is:

Time blocking. Pomodoro. Body doubling - if you haven’t tried this I highly recommend. Reading instead of scrolling. A proper list. An actual notebook. A cup of tea before replying to something annoying.

Then ask yourself:

• What might I hear, know or choose if I gave myself a bit more space?

This takes me back to the idea of spaciousness. Megan Reitz describes it as:

“Expansive and unhurried attention where we are neither grasping towards the next moment nor running away from the previous one. We’re aware of our interconnection with the world around us, free from expectation, curious and open to potential.”

Sounds like something worth having, right? More here in a previous newsletter for your perusal!

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Women In Their Own Words

“I am not anti-technology, I am pro-conversation.”

— Sherry Turkle, here.

A useful distinction. This is not about rejecting the modern world completely, deleting every app and moving to a remote cottage where you churn butter and become smug (while smelling of sour milk and sanctimoniousness).

It is about staying awake inside the world we are actually in. It is about noticing what helps us connect, think and choose, and what keeps us reactive, fragmented and slightly dead behind the eyes.

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Your Words on My Work

“Being someone who spends a lot of time thinking about my career, I wasn’t sure to what extent Career Coaching would be beneficial. Penny listened instead of assuming, and asked me questions I had never thought of. She really helped me stretch my thinking and see how things could be done differently. I started our sessions demotivated and lacking clarity, and I now feel hopeful in the small steps I’m making in my career and learning how to extract meaning from them. I feel clearer, more patient, focused and optimistic - and would recommend Penny from anyone who’s in a career rut.”

– Aicha

If you need help stretching your thinking, just hit reply to book your free intro call now! Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

If this newsletter has made you think about your phone, your focus, your boredom, your anxiety, your values, or the fact that you have not had a complete thought since approximately 2017, please share it with someone else who might appreciate it.

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Or reply and say hi - I read every note. You can also find me lurking on Linkedin cheering you on and occasionally shouting about your successes.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

Subscribe now

I’ll be back next month with more Work-ish…

PJ

Shall we talk about AI?

I know. You don’t need another hot take on the robot apocalypse. You’re busy with your actual job, your second shift, your endless mountain of life admin. Wondering what “AI expertise” actually means, how to acquire it and measuring your understanding against EVERYBODY else’s (or at least everybody else on LinkedIn’s) on some mysterious invisible curve that somehow feels both impenetrable and important is frankly the last thing you need right now.

But AI is a reality in the workplace and with women already at a disadvantage it would be remiss of me to pretend it doesn’t exist, even as my own thoughts - both functional and philosophical - are still messy and unformed. From scanning CVs to attending meetings for us, think of AI like an overconfident intern/CEO. Capable of brilliant ideas and insight, while also sometimes getting things so wildly wrong you have to go and lie down.

Some of us appear to be fully on board. They’ve found out how to make the tech and tools work for them. They can prompt with ease, automate time sucking tasks and claw back some* time (*really? does it count if it gets spent on doing more work though?)

Others feel behind, resistant, fearful, suspicious, nostalgic for a simpler time, quietly panicked about what this means for their job, or resentful that this is yet another thing being imposed on them.

As with most things work-ish, some people (and let’s be honest this could have said ‘some men’) will sound wildly confident long before they actually know what they’re doing.

A third group - in which I find myself - have a foot in both camps and can often feel them sliding away from each other leaving us scrabbling for purchase. We’re doing our working out in the wild. Trying, learning, trying again. Educating ourselves and experimenting as best we can, while trying not to disappear into a full blown existential crisis about what this means for humanity, the planet, our jobs, our children etc. Pro tip: This New Yorker feature on Sam Altman will NOT help with that.

Because AI is not arriving in a neutral, sensible working environment where rational decisions are made based on clear and informed criteria. It is arriving in workplaces that are in many cases (delete as appropriate) overstretched, under-resourced, unequal, under-managed, paranoid, political, where profit comes ahead of people and the modus operandi is ‘absorb change quickly and unquestioningly while still doing everything you were before as well’. (#NotAllWorkplaces)

Alongside the excitement, efficiency, and cute names like Loveable, Crystal, Sanebox, Claude, there are the questions of energy use, water consumption, ethics, safety standards. What exactly we are burning through in the name of power, who stands to gain, and what do we stand to lose?

Useful, yes. Frictionless, hell no!

But though it is complicated, it’s undeniably here. So how will YOU use it? Here are some pointers on where you might start - or go deeper if you’re already experimenting.

PJ

PS. What are the work-related AI tools you are loving / wouldn’t do without, and how are you using them?

Hit ‘reply’ and let me know, or email me at hello@mysocalledcareer.com so I can try them out myself and include a few in an upcoming email.

PPS. A reminder! If you’d like this newsletter to continue, I need you to do one of three things:

1️⃣ Upgrade to paid - I’ve dropped the price to £5 per month / £50 per year

2️⃣ Make a one-off contribution of your choice HERE

3️⃣ Or share it with three people / post it on your socials. Tell people why it’s worth their time and their money.

Your Careers Library

If you’re trying to work out what AI actually means for your job, your brain, your future and your already slightly frayed sense of professional adequacy, then Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI by Ethan Mollick is a good place to start.

Unlike a lot of the AI chat (of varying quality and provenance) online, it is more practical and less technical than you might expect.

Mollick’s basic argument is that AI is not just a piece of software you occasionally use. It is more like a collaborator, which is useful to think about when so many of us are being asked to work with it, around it, or at least have an opinion on it.

What I like about this book is that it helps you think about where AI might genuinely support your work, where you need boundaries, where your own judgment is still the thing doing the heavy lifting, and how to maintain your own critical thinking and reasoning skills.

So read this if you want to get your head around AI without feeling like you need a computer science degree first.

Also hard recommend for Don’t Burn Anyone At The Stake Today by Naomi Alderman - not AI specific, but a good exploration of the subtle, and not so subtle shifts brought about by the ‘information crisis’.

If there’s a book you think deserves a place in the Careers Library, let me know by replying or commenting.

Leave a comment

Links I Love: AI Edition

If you’re job hunting right now, you will know it is a task of Herculean proportions. Generic job descriptions written by AI are being met by generic applications written by AI, uploaded via friction-free ‘apply now’ buttons, which means that genuine, thoughtful and relevant applicants are being drowned out by a sea of slop. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that jobs are essentially ‘people doing stuff with other people’ in the digital hellscape that is recruitment right now.

So with that in mind, this is worth a look:

• AI CV Checker by IVEE

Ivee is an upskilling and jobs portal led by two sisters providing AI training and resources to help users adapt to shifts in the jobs market. Inspired by their mum’s experience of getting back into work, their approach is fun and user friendly.

Like it or not, a lot of employers now deploy applicant tracking systems and automated tools which screen applications before a human ever lays eyes on your CV.

Bleak, but useful to know.

Ivee’s checker gives you a rough sense of whether your CV is likely to make it through the first machine-shaped hurdle. I’m not saying build your professional identity around pleasing an algorithm - please god no - but I would absolutely make sure a robot doesn't reject you before a person has had a chance to.

BONUS LINK: Rachel Coldicutt is a brilliantly smart researcher and strategist specialising in inclusive, community-powered innovation and the social impacts of new and emerging technologies, and her talk, Let’s Make AI Work for 8 Billion People, Not 8 Billionaires, is a useful antidote to both AI panic and AI evangelism. Her point is not “never use AI.” It’s: use it carefully, specifically, and only where it genuinely helps. I especially liked her reminder that FOMO is not a strategy, and that we shouldn’t hand over the parts of our work that make it distinctive.

In this longer talk, Rachel goes deeper into AI as a set of tools, not a single magic force, and argues for technology that serves people, communities, and the public good rather than simply enriching the companies selling it. Watch here.

BONUS BONUS LINK: Squiggly Careers AI Skills Sprint

The Squiggly Careers AI Skills Sprint is a genuinely useful set of quick prompts and exercises for using AI to explore your strengths, values, confidence, network and future career possibilities. This worksheet includes links to the podcasts and exercises.

Coach Yourself Question: Using AI – How Do You Do It?

Or… How will I use AI in a way that feels safe, manageable, authentic and genuinely time-saving, WITHOUT handing over the parts of my work that matter most to me?

A helpful way into that question is to write yourself a personal AI policy. Just a few lines about how YOU want to use AI in your working life.

Jot down:

I use AI for:
… for example: brainstorming, research, summarising, tidying notes, admin and organisation, testing my learning, interview prep and practice

My eg. I used AI to design a DIY psychology Msc programme which I am now working my way through and am incredibly pleased with.

I do not use AI for:
… for example: anything confidential, anything emotionally sensitive, pretending I know something I don’t, outsourcing my actual judgment

My eg. I don’t give AI access to my client sessions or notes, but I do use it to help me create materials and worksheets around key themes that come up in my work.

Please, do not paste anything confidential or sensitive into a robot and then act surprised if that turns out to be a bad idea.

I will always check:
… for example: facts, tone, nuance, whether it sounds like me, whether it has confidently made something up.

My eg. I always check whether I am actually happy with the result, or if it just feels convenient.

Getting clearer about what you want it to do for you helps you set your boundaries before someone else does. What would you have in your personal AI policy? Let me know!

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Women In Their Own Words

“That brain of mine is something more than merely mortal; as time will show.”

— Ada Lovelace

Self-belief inspiration from the woman who wrote the first recognised algorithm.

And perhaps also a useful reminder that technology has always involved imagination, not just machinery…

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Your Words on My Work

“Penny provided a safe space to lay out all my work/life fears and insecurities and have them received without judgment. Not only was the coaching incredibly valuable for working through those, but I’ve come out with a huge bank of helpful exercises, articles and podcasts that I continue to refer to and learn from. ”

- Anonymous Legend

If you need a safe space and would like to invest in some support, just hit reply to book your free intro call now! Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

If this newsletter has got you thinking about AI and how you work with or without it, why not share it with a friend, colleague, or someone wondering whether using ChatGPT to rewrite an awkward email is innovative or the beginning of the end?

Share

Or reply and say hi - I read every note. You can also find me lurking on Linkedin cheering you on and occasionally shouting about your successes.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

I’ll be back next month with more Work-ish…

PJ

Let’s talk about working relationships. Because so much of work IS the relationships. At the end of the day, most of our works boils down to some version of ‘doing things, with people’, whether you like them, or not.

The work wife who makes a hard day feel manageable and the co-worker who makes you question your life choices in a 20-minute Teams monologue (that could have been an email!). The colleague who really sees you and the manager whose ‘quick question’ derails your afternoon. The client who pays on time with no excuses, and the brilliant jerk who breaks all the rules and somehow manages to get rewarded for it. And don’t get me started on the people who think their feedback is an instruction, not an opinion.

A good working relationship can make a mediocre job feel bearable. A bad one can make a perfectly decent role feel like a gentle stroll through the seventh layer of hell.

We don’t talk about this enough. We talk about progression, purpose, performance, leadership, culture, values, all the rest of it, but underneath so much of that is a simpler question: how does it feel to be around the people you work with? and how important is that to you?

Do you feel safe? Do you feel respected? Do you feel like yourself?

I was listening recently to Adam Grant in conversation with Esther Perel (LEGEND🤩🙌🏻), and one of the things that really stayed with me was this idea that we all arrive at work with an unofficial relationship resume. Not just the jobs we’ve done and the places we’ve worked, but the relationship history that shaped us long before we got our email signature. Were you raised to be loyal? To challenge authority? To do it all yourself and never need anything from anyone? All of that comes to work with us, too.

Which makes a lot of sense, because a relationship at work is the dance between two people. The same boss can feel brilliant to one person and impossible to another. The same colleague can feel energising in one context and draining in another.

Not everybody at work has to become your best buddy (though I am still friends with my work wife from my first proper job. She’s called Sam (next to me in the pic above with some famous waxy friends…) and I love her dearly 25 years on, despite our lives looking very different these days). But our work lives are shaped, in very real ways, by the quality of the relationships around us.

The best working relationships don’t just make us feel better. They make us braver. More honest. More creative. More willing to ask questions, take risks, say no, try again and take up space. The bad ones tend to do the opposite. They make us smaller. More cautious. More likely to spend 40 minutes drafting a Slack message that ultimately just says “sounds good!”

And one of the trickiest parts of working relationships is that they can make you doubt your own reading of the situation. Is this normal friction? A personality clash? A bit of stress and bad timing? Or is something genuinely off here?

Not every difficult relationship is toxic (and not every bad boss is a psychopath, but it is more common than you might think). Sometimes people are just under-managed, unclear, stressed or annoying in a fairly standard workplace way. We spend so much time together, it would be weird if we didn’t occasionally rub each other up the wrong way. But if a dynamic consistently makes you smaller, more anxious, more confused or less like yourself, it’s worth paying attention to that.

So this month’s Work-ish is for anyone finding the people side of work a bit too peopley. The lovely bits, the awkward bits, and the “am I overreacting or is this person actually a nightmare?” bits.

Right. Let’s get into it.

PJ

PS. Following last month’s money-related missive, I got some wonderful new subscribers. (Thank you!) But not enough! So if you’d like this newsletter to continue, I need you to do one of three things:

1️⃣ Upgrade to paid - I’ve dropped the price to £5 per month / £50 per year

Subscribe now

2️⃣ Make a one-off contribution of your choice HERE

3️⃣ Or share it with three people / post it on your socials. Tell people why it’s worth their time and their money.

Your Careers Library

The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart feels painfully relevant to the people side of work, in terms of wider culture.

Working relationships are not just about personalities; they’re about power and perception. They’re about society as a whole. Who gets heard? Who gets interrupted? Who gets the benefit of the doubt, and who gets labelled “difficult” for saying the exact same thing as a man? No prizes for guessing.

Sieghart looks at the many ways women’s authority is quietly undermined at work and in public life, often so subtly that it’s easy to miss until you start seeing it everywhere. Once you do, some workplace dynamics suddenly make much more sense, particularly the ones that leave you feeling vaguely (or intensely) furious.

It’s a smart, validating and properly useful read that may make you feel less alone and give you things to talk about with your female teams and colleagues. And furious can be good fuel for changing your situation if you’re being talked over, ignored or just plain passed over for promotion at work.

Have you read it already? What did you think? Let me know in the comments!

If you are after more of a ‘how to’ guide to working relationships, then I also really really recommend Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone, Even Difficult People by Amy Gallo. Her expertise on managing conflict and building relationships shines through on every page, and leaves you feeling seen and resourced, whatever your situation.

If there’s a book you think deserves a place in the Careers Library, let me know by replying or commenting.

Leave a comment

A Link I Love: Introducing ‘The Legend Squad’

Join us on LinkedIn here

Every time I’ve brought a bunch of legends together, it’s gone well. So naturally, I’ve decided to do it again. This time online.

The Legend Squad is a new LinkedIn group: A kind space for awesome women to show up, share stuff, create connections, ask questions and realise we are not in it alone.

There are some events coming up - in person, online and even in the sea! - and we’ll work the rest out as we go. Which frankly is how most good things begin.

If you’re reading this newsletter, you should absolutely be in there. 126 of the bestest, bad-assed-est and most brilliant women are already gathered there and are finding it fantastic.

You’ll find a place to share your Wins Of The Week, useful bits and bobs, amazing job links, and regular wafflings from yours truly.

I’d love you to join us. What are you waiting for?

A Tool To Try: Write A ‘Working With Me’ Manual

Entrepreneur Sharmadean Reid has often talked about her company’s practice of creating an instruction manual for working best with you.

The idea is simple: if someone new joined your team tomorrow, what would help them understand how you operate? A surprising amount of workplace friction comes down to people working from completely different instruction manuals.

Some people want constant updates. Others want autonomy. Some people think out loud. Others need time to process before responding. Some people love a spontaneous brainstorm. Others experience that as a mild hostage situation.

So as a small experiment, try writing a one-page instruction manual for yourself. Nothing corporate. Just the useful stuff. There’s a handy template here

Remember, though - this is about being helpful, self-aware, and giving those around you some clues and cues to get the best from you. Those things will not always be possible. Any group environment requires compromise and taking one for the team now and then.

For example:

• How I work best: quiet thinking time, clear expectations, a cat on my lap, and regular biscuit breaks. I do my best focused work in the evenings, and prefer meetings in the morning

• How I communicate: fairly directly. If I go quiet, it usually means I’m thinking, not furious. Email for preference, not a fan of voice notes, and no I do not want to join your slack channel

• Things that stress me out: last-minute “quick requests” that are anything but, vague feedback, meetings that should have been an email, not saying thank you

• Things that help me do good work: context, trust, and people actually reading the document before commenting on the document

You don’t need to share this with anyone unless you want to, sometimes it’s enough to just decode yourself for yourself. Or you could do it as a team task and share them with each other.

Either way, the better you understand your own instruction manual, the easier it becomes to explain what you need from a working relationship and the easier it becomes to spot when one is a bad fit.

If you do write one, I’d love to hear what ends up in it. Drop a comment below or reply to this email!

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Women In Their Own Words

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”
— Alice Walker

Friend can be substituted for ‘good boss’ or ‘good colleague"…

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Your Words on My Work

“Working with Penny has really helped me to reframe my approach to work and prepare myself to be braver and take more risks in my career. I really valued her approach which helped me face and address uncomfortable truths in a safe and positive space. Can’t recommend her highly enough.”

- Anonymous Legend

If you’re ready to reframe your approach to work and would like to invest in some support, just hit reply to book your free intro call now! Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

If this newsletter has got you thinking about the people you work with, why not share it with a friend, colleague, or someone currently one awkward one-to-one away from a full existential crisis?

Share

Or reply and say hi - I read every note. You can also find me lurking on Linkedin cheering you on and occasionally shouting about your successes.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

I’ll be back next month with more Work-ish…

PJ

It is my birthday tomorrow! Which feels like excellent timing for this conversation. Or something.

Because this month, we are talking about MONEY, and I am kicking off this edition by practising what I preach.

I’ve been writing Work-ish for months now. I love writing it. I love your replies. I love the “this was exactly what I needed” messages. I love knowing it lands in your inbox and occasionally nudges something into place - like a mental marble run.

But here’s the infinitely important bit:

• It costs money to make.

• And at the moment? It loses money every month.

I’m not storming off in a huff. I’m not rage-quitting Substack. I’m not dramatically flinging my laptop into the sea. And I’m not removing free subscriptions, or promising a load more stuff I don’t have capacity for in order to justify this ask.

I am, however, asking you to pay what you can #ponyupbitches

Because I tell my clients constantly: Know your worth. Charge properly. Ask for a raise. Negotiate - don’t accept the first offer. Stop underpricing the thing you’re good at just because you feel awkward or want to be “nice”.

If you read this each month and find it useful, comforting, challenging or thought-provoking - brilliant. That’s exactly what it’s for.

So if you’d like this newsletter to continue, I need you to do one of three things:

1️⃣ Upgrade to paid - I’ve dropped the price to £5 per month / £50 per year

Subscribe now

2️⃣ Make a one-off contribution of your choice HERE
3️⃣ Or share it with three people / post it on your socials. Tell people why it’s worth their time and their money.

If reader numbers and money don’t grow, I will have to reconsider what I invest in it.

Right. That’s my bit done.

Now over to you.

PJ

Your Careers Library

Talking about money is rarely just about money. It’s about shame, power, security, worth, and silence.

Open Up by Alex Holder looks at the cultural awkwardness around money and why so many of us feel physically uncomfortable talking about it.

This will resonate if you’ve ever:

• delayed sending an invoice

• avoided opening your banking app

• accepted the first salary offered

• apologised for your fee - or offered a discount without being asked

So… all of us, then?

Have you read it already? What did you think? Let me know in the comments!

If there’s a book you think deserves a place in the Careers Library, let me know by replying or commenting.

Leave a comment

A Link I Love: Payrise Edition

🎧 Money Clinic Live: How To Get A Payrise

Recorded a few years ago, this lively FT panel hosted by the brilliant Claer Barrett and featuring Isabel Berwick and Jonathan Black has some great do’s and don’ts.

Here are my top tips on salary negotiations:

Firstly: salary is about the role and what it’s worth in the market. It is not about your worth as a human being. If a company can’t afford to pay market rate, that’s not a you-problem.

Before any negotiation, have three numbers in your head:

• Your minimum – the lowest number that works for your life.
• Your desired – the number you’d feel genuinely happy with.
• Your asking – the number you go in with. High enough that you can come down and still land where you want.

And when they ask for your expectations? Say: “Based on the scope of the role and external benchmarks I’d be happy to share with you, I’m looking for £X.”

Notice: no range. If you give a range, they will pay you at the lower end.

Benchmark widely. Talk to real humans. Speak to recruiters. Stop anchoring to the smallest number you can find.

And remember: If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Questions To Coach Yourself:

It might be:
– Raising your rates / Asking for a pay rise
– Chasing that invoice with more force
– Asking for clarity on pay review and progression - there are some great tips on this in Open Up.
– Agreeing to share your salary info with someone to give you both a benchmark
– Or simply looking properly at your financials instead of avoiding them - I recommend Mr. MoneySavingExpert, because he is God.

Hit reply and let me know. I read every message.

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Women In Their Own Words

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”

– Joan Rivers

Always with a quip on hand. Smart, funny, and true.

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Your Words on My Work

“Sessions with Penny felt like a truly inspiring and safe space to start developing confidence in myself and tackle those usual points of resistance I usually meet myself at. Penny has been brilliant at helping me navigate my willingness for change with hope and faith in myself!”

- Anonymous Legend

If you’re ready to tackle the resistance points you regularly hit and would like to invest in some support, just hit reply to book your free intro call now!

Or email hello@mysocalledcareer.com

If this newsletter has got you thinking about money and you’d like to share the wealth, why not share it with a friend?

Share

Or reply and say hi - I read every note. You can also find me lurking on Linkedin where I celebrate and shout about your successes.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

I’ll be back next month with more Work-ish… Providing you pay me.

PJ

Same shit, different year? Same five (or fifty-five) browser tabs open? Same uncomfortable sense of bubbling urgency to make this year somehow different/better than last?

Yup. SAME!

Let’s face it. January can be… a lot, especially online. Depending who you follow, you are probably being sold at least one of “New Year, New You”, “Rest As A Radical Act,” or “Full On Digital Cold Turkey” and while I’m very much team nap myself, I also know that even tiny acts of self-reflection can be powerful. Not those massive and unrealistic ‘I’m going to change my entire career/personality in 6 weeks’ resolutions. Just an opportunity to observe where you are and where you’d like to be. To notice the gap. To make plans to move gently towards the latter.

If you could do with a tool to help with the noticing, this dead simple approach from Anne-Laure Le Cunff, the author of Tiny Experiments, is a game-changer.

Speaking of new starts…

A PRESENT FOR YOU!

If your So-Called Career could do with some TLC in 2026 - with realistic goals and a manageable timeframe - newsletter subscribers can exclusively access 2025 prices on all coaching packages purchased before 31st January 2026.

Hit reply to book your free intro call now!

PJ

Your Careers Library

The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander is for the days when your career feels like it’s been chained by expectations. Yours. Other people’s. Society’s weird little rulebook.

This is a try this new lens on and see what changes kind of book - like when you’re at the opticians and have to tell them repeatedly how fuzzy the picture of the hot air balloon is. There are actual practices in it (twelve of them), which is why it doesn’t feel like someone yelling “think positive!!” at you from a motivational poster/Instagram post.

One idea I love: “It’s all invented anyway.” Not that nothing matters, but that so many of the limits we feel are built on assumptions we’ve stopped questioning. Change the frame, and different options appear.

It won’t hand you career clarity overnight. But it is quietly radical about where you start: right here, in the middle of it, with the life you’ve actually got.

Have you read it already? What did you think?

Let me know in the comments!

And if there’s a book that you think deserves a space in the Careers Library, let me know there too.

Leave a comment

A Link I Love

Permission to pause: Rediscovering ‘spaciousness’ at work

Megan Reitz is a writer, researcher and full time LEGEND whose work over 25 years has focused in one way or another on time. How we spend it, where we lose it, and what we use it as an excuse for not doing. and what is the biggest challenge when it comes to time?

Attention. We live in an ‘attention economy’. Being aware of what we pay attention to, and how small shifts in that can give us the space and time we need to work out who we are, where we are, and how that fits with who and where we want to be.

“Pausing, stepping back to reflect on what this busyness is all about, is seen as a sign of laziness or inefficiency. It can also feel terrifying when we’re not used to it – it forces us to engage with who we are when we aren’t busy with our busy doing”

She has just released this absolutely epic report on spaciousness at work which I have been revelling in recently. You can also get an intro to her work here, and she has published a Tl:dr version for you guys too - so you have NO EXCUSE not to get involved if the concept of spaciousness feels like something you’d like to take a small step toward in 2026.

Tool To Try: Changing Lanes

This is a low-pressure way to think about short and long-term career goals - a short sharp exercise to think about future you, and what her work-life looks like.

1. The Lane I’m In.
2. The Lane I’m Eyeing.
3. The Lane I’m Dreaming Of.

You don’t need to switch lanes in 2026, but naming what’s in each one helps you notice what might have shifted in 2025, what you want more of in 2026, and what is entirely out of date… where you might be swimming against the tide.

Try writing your own three-lane plan this week. See what it tells you.

Women In Their Own Words

“To be real is a quiet act of rebellion”

– Clarice Lispector

We don’t have to be louder, shinier, busier. We just have to begin, honestly, from where we are.

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Your Words on My Work

“Penny holds a fantastically safe and supportive space for women. She provides a mix of very solid, practical advice and tips, along with activities to help unpick what really matters to you in your own career. If you need a little help bringing order or direction to the jumble of career-related thoughts in your head, I’d absolutely recommend reaching out to Penny.” - Anna

If change is on your 2026 bingo card and you would like to scope out some support, newsletter subscribers can exclusively access 2025 prices on all coaching packages purchased before 31st January 2026.

Just hit reply to book your free intro call now!

If this newsletter has started your 2026 right, why don’t you share it with a friend? Careers karma, always.

Share

Or reply and say hi - I read every note. You can also find me lurking on Linkedin where I celebrate and shout about your successes.

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

More Work-ish coming next month…. THE MONEY ISSUE!

PJ

Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of the end-of-year review - the excuse to crack the spine on a shiny new notebook with the smell of mulled wine in the air - but seriously, NOW? Who has the energy? I can’t remember the last year I didn’t feel like I was crawling to the finish line, only for Christmas to hit me like an end of level boss in a computer game.

and this year?

Same same. I. Am. Tired.

And I suspect a lot of you are too.

We are officially in “limbo land” - that strange period (aka December) where we are frantically trying to tie up loose ends for 2025, while simultaneously dreaming of napping until mid-January, and either delighting in or dreading ‘the big day’. Our diaries are full of other people’s priorities, work Christmas parties, and those social events that come from some weird belief that we have to see everyone we’ve ever known before Christmas every year. As if by January they will all have turned into pumpkins or something. We eat so many Christmas dinners, and pull so many crackers that by December 25th we are pretty much partied out already.

Speaking of Christmas – A PRESENT FOR YOU! Santa Jonesy has been making a list and checking it twice and now she’s coming to town!

If your So-Called Career could do with some TLC in 2026, newsletter subscribers can exclusively access 2025 prices on all coaching packages purchased before 31st January 2026.

Hit reply to book your free intro call now!

I finish work this week (hopefully yesterday in fact by the time you read this), and am feeling baffled, bemused and bloody exhausted. The internet tells us we should be “finishing strong,” but honestly? My brain has turned to jam. Let the credits roll on 2025…

…The goal setting and year in review can all wait until January - or at least until Betwixtmas, when the passing of time is marked by nothing other than the gentle emptying of the Quality Street tub. Seriously, no one needs anything else to do right now.

How are you feeling about the finishing line? Are you sprinting to the end, or are you ready to just lie down on the track and wait for someone to bring you a blanket?

This month’s Work-ish is for everyone who’s coming to the end of a long year and is thinking about what’s next - but wants to do it gently. No huge leaps. Just a nice soft landing (into a plate of mince pies).

Let’s go…

PJ

Your Careers Library

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman is the antidote to your December panic. If you feel like you spent 2025 rushing to clear a to-do list that never actually got shorter, this is the festive read you need.

Burkeman argues that “time management” is often a trap. Instead of trying to become more efficient to fit everything in (spoiler: you can’t), this book teaches us the power of accepting our limits.

It is about choosing the few things that actually matter TO YOU, rather than trying to satisfy the world’s demands. Definitely one to read with a mince pie and/or cold roast potato in hand.

Have you read it already? What did you think?

Let me know in the comments!

Leave a comment

A Link I Love

YearCompass

People are obsessed with To-Do lists, but at the end of the year, I prefer a “ta-da” list.

It’s easy to forget the mountains you climbed in March or the fires you put out in August. Before you shut down for the holidays, grab a hot drink (mulled for preference) and spend some time with this free booklet (digitally or printed - I always prefer printed, it makes your brain think differently).

It helps you run the credits on the year just gone and cue up the trailer on the one to come.

Go forth, reflect, and give yourself some credit.

Tool To Try: Pre-Mortem CV

Updating your CV might seem more like an unnecessary slog than a necessary evil - especially right now - but how about using it to get a head start on whatever 2026 has to throw at you?

This excellent piece of advice is borrowed from the Squiggly Careers podcast on how to write a brilliant CV, which also introduced me to the concept of the Pre-Mortem CV.

The pre-mortem CV is not one you’ll share with the world (thank god), but something to help you get clear about your career goals for the year ahead.

The Exercise: Think about what you want your CV to say when you update it this time next year.

• Who might you be working for by December 2026?

• What might you have achieved?

• Perhaps you’ve taken the plunge and changed careers altogether?

• What would you like to have learned?

• Who have you helped?

As an extra step, you might like to share your pre-mortem CV with an accountability buddy - here’s an interesting take.

Either way, this could be your North Star in 2026, providing direction and guiding decision-making throughout the year.

• FULL LISTEN: The Squiggly Careers podcast, ep #64 – How to write a brilliant CV

Women In Their Own Words

“Her own thoughts and feelings were habitually her best companions.”

– Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Your Words on My Work

Penny is a sensational coach, and I recommend her to every woman who’ll listen. When we met, I was lacking confidence and felt like I was sleepwalking through my career. I’m now feeling incredibly excited about the future and thinking about starting my own business, which I’d never have done. – Kate

Sleepwalking through your career? Lacking confidence? This is my zone. Kate did start that business and is absolutely smashing it!

If change is on your 2026 bingo card and you would like to scope out some support – newsletter subscribers can exclusively access 2025 prices on all coaching packages purchased before 31st January 2026.

Just hit reply to book your free intro call now!

If this newsletter has been a great companion to you this year, why don’t you share it with a friend? Careers karma, always.

Share

Or reply and say hi - I read every note - and I’m also occasionally over on Instagram at @socalledcareer

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

Subscribe now

More Work-ish coming in 2026!

But for now, HAPPY CHRISTMAS, and thank you for sticking with me through this bumpy and adventure filled year.

PJ

Moving to the sea has been doing strange things to my confidence.

Last month was all about change, but now that I’m physically in the new place, I’ve realised that emotionally, part(s) of me are still very much all over the place. These brand-new surroundings and context are causing me to question EVERYTHING. Learning, unlearning, adjusting, adapting, panicking and paralysing myself in indecision - often all in the same day.

But while this is exhausting, it is also totally normal. Even good change brings its own kind of wobble in it’s wake - whether it’s a new job, a new career path, a new home, a new relationship, a change of pace or a shift in priorities. You have to leave one version of yourself behind before the next one feels fully formed. The change happens in a moment, but the transition that follows is slow and sticky. It takes its own sweet time, and we often find we have prepared ourselves for one, but the other shows up and blindsides us.

We need scaffolding and softness just when we were hoping we could knuckle down and get on with it. This is what I think is missing in the whole ‘first 90 days’ thing… we plan as if we will spring forth fully formed and hit the ground running, but most of the time we feel like our legs are running in opposite directions and the fantasy us we were supposed to become didn’t get the memo.

Confidence growth lives right there in that wobble. We like to think of confidence as fixed and certain, but real confidence is the capacity to move while things are still unclear. To take a step before you’ve unfolded the whole map.

Research says this kind of uncertainty tolerance is one of the best predictors of resilience. People who can live with “not knowing” recover faster and act braver.

So I’ve been trying to test this theory in small ways. My own first 90 days is all about showing up somewhere I don’t know if I’ll fit in. Speaking up when the words aren’t perfectly ready or rehearsed. Opening up new avenues without knowing exactly where they might lead, and training myself to feel ok with the not knowing.

Confidence isn’t waiting at the finish line; it’s built in motion.

When I start to doubt myself and succumb to the panic (at least daily rn), I challenge myself to look for signs of the small successes - a kind space, an interesting person, a good conversation, a smile from a stranger, or a thing that gave me the fear but went better than expected. I recommend keeping a folder of those reminders of the little wins along the way if you are navigating something new. Because confidence is a muscle - it grows with use, and it’s a vital element of our so-called careers.

Let’s take a deeper dive into confidence…

PJ x

Your Careers Library

The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman is, imho, one of the best books on the topic - especially if you’re wary of the hype-laden “just believe in yourself” genre. Oh if it were that easy 🤨

Based on neuroscience and behavioural research, it makes a few simple but powerful points:

• Confidence isn’t a personality trait; it’s a habit. You strengthen it through action, not by overthinking.

• Women, on average, tend to underestimate competence and over-rely on preparation; men tend to act first and figure it out later.

• Perfectionism, over-analysis, and the fear of getting it wrong are confidence killers.

• Self-compassion, risk-taking, and recovery from failure are confidence builders.

Their mantra - “Think less, do more” - isn’t about recklessness; it’s about movement. Every imperfect action rewires your sense of what’s possible.

If you’ve been waiting to “feel” confident before doing something, this book makes a persuasive case for reversing the order.

Read it? Have thoughts? Leave a comment and let me know.

Leave a comment

A Link I Love: Identify Your Saboteurs

🔗 IdentifyYour Saboteurs

This one’s brilliant if you’re prone to self-doubt. It helps you spot the internal voices that quietly chip away at confidence - the Perfectionist who wants everything flawless, the Pleaser who avoids conflict, the Controller who can’t relax, the Hyper-Achiever who measures worth in output.

Put them all together and you end up with a shitty committee that knows all your deepest fears and insecurities - because they ARE YOU - who you’ve given a megaphone to.

It’s not about silencing them, but noticing when they take over (and maybe taking the megaphone away). Once you can name the individual voice - “Ah, that’s my Avoider again” - you separate it from the pack and can stop treating it as truth.

That gap between reaction and response? That’s where confidence grows!

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Tool to Try: Build Your Confidence Muscle

As I’ve said, confidence isn’t something you wait to feel; it’s something you build. These three steps can help you strengthen it through action, one small move at a time.

1. Commit
Start with a promise to yourself. Write it down, stick it somewhere you’ll see it, and let it remind you what you’re working towards. Saying it out loud helps too - there’s something powerful about hearing your own conviction, even if your voice shakes a little.

2. Act with Courage
Confidence doesn’t come first. Action does. Take the smallest step that feels like a stretch - ask the question, apply anyway, start the conversation. You don’t need to feel brave to do something brave.

3. Keep Showing Up
Confidence grows through repetition. Each time you act, your courage strengthens and the fear softens. Reflect, adjust, keep going. Over time, you stop waiting to feel ready - you just begin.

What three small acts can you take this month to work your confidence muscle - to let the feeling follow the action rather than the other way around?

Hit reply and share yours, or add a comment below if you're comfortable sharing.

Women In Their Own Words

“Refuse to apologise for being. You are not taking up space. You are a mountain.” - Alison Malee

We are all mountains!! A wonderful reminder from poet and author Alison Malee.

Your Words on My Work

“The last 6 months have been a much-needed evolution of self! I felt heard and supported throughout the process, my confidence has grown, the sessions were a total treat, and between them the continued support kept me on track, the numerous book, podcast and exercise recommendations kept me inspired, and the gentle, generous and open environment Penny created gave space for vulnerability and creativity.” - Bernadette

If you’re looking to build confidence and want to try coaching, or think that you too deserve a treat, hit reply to this email and we can talk.

If this month’s newsletter has been helpful, share it with a friend for some careers karma.

Share

Or just reply and say hi — I read every note – and I’m also occasionally over on Instagram at @socalledcareer

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

More Work-ish coming next month!

PJ

Yes, this song is playing in my head as I write this.

And as you may know, change is top of mind — because I’ve FINALLY moved out of London to my lovely new house by the sea. Despite there being as many boxes still untouched as unpacked and really a lot of wallpaper stripping in my immediate future, the house is already starting to feel like home, and Folkestone like somewhere I belong.

Change is strange, isn’t it? You think you’ll feel instantly transformed on the other side — lighter, freer, sorted — and in my experience two out of the three ain’t bad. I do feel lighter and freer, but sorted? Sadly, it’s mostly misplaced cables, mild panic about where I packed my favourite jumper and what the right order is to approach the decorating in.

But underneath the logistics, there’s usually something bigger at play: a quiet instinct that it’s time for a new chapter, even if you don’t know what it looks like yet. I spent a long time before the move hoping answers would miraculously reveal themselves if I thought about it enough. But all thinking did was make me more certain that I needed a change - it solidified the movement away from, but didn’t help with the movement toward.

That didn’t happen until I started trying things out for size. Talking to people, visiting places, making connections between the things I enjoy and the ways different places and spaces would bring them to life.

I realised that the same was true of many of my big life changes. When I left my last job, I knew the change was necessary, but could I have told you at the time what form it would take, and where I would be now, 8 years later?

Absolutely not.

It was the start of a long process of picking things up, turning them round a few times, seeing what they felt like, and deciding whether to act on them, hold onto them, or discard them for someone else to find.

This month’s Work-ish is for anyone sitting in that in-between space — curious about what’s next, but not quite sure how to start.

PJ

Your Careers Library

If you’ve ever wondered how to become the next version of yourself — not just imagine it — Herminia Ibarra’s Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career is one of the smartest, most practical takes I’ve read. Long-term readers will have heard me recommend this one before, but it is 100% worth it.

Ibarra’s big idea is simple but radical: clarity doesn’t come from thinking; it comes from doing. She calls it acting your way into a new identity; experimenting with projects, conversations, and side paths until something starts to fit. Something that resonates with me intensely.

It’s a gentle challenge to the old “decide, then act” model we were taught at school. Ibarra shows that identity change actually occurs through experience, not in a planning stage beforehand, and I have lost count of the number of times now that I have said to clients that ‘you can’t think your way into a new career’.

If you’re at a crossroads but don’t yet know which way to turn, or if indeed any of these directions feel right for you, this could help you stop over-analysing and start testing possibilities in the real world.

Read it already, or interested in checking it out? Let me know in the comments!

Leave a comment

A Link I Love: The Ladder Runs Out, So Try the River

We’ve all faced moments of uncertainty - or the unexpected - in our careers, and will do so again (and again) in future. So here’s a tip – when can’t find your way on the outdated career ladder, it might be time to dip your feet in your Career River.

I recently spoke with journalist Bridget Thoreson (right), who developed the Career River framework after interviewing over 130 people about navigating nonlinear careers. She shared three takeaways that stuck with me:

1️⃣ In an unpredictable world, flexibility is key.

The career ladder dates back to the early 1800s. It only works in stable environments - and ours isn’t one. People who embrace exploration, in a pattern similar to the twist of a river, are better equipped to handle change when it inevitably arrives.

2️⃣ What “progress” means can shift over time.

Bridget spent years climbing newsroom ranks before realising the higher she went, the further she drifted from the work that mattered. Beyond status, or salary, progress can also appear as stability, the acquisition of new skills, or a deeper sense of satisfaction. What matters is that it is meaningful and motivating to you.

3️⃣ Your most valuable career asset isn’t on your CV.

Your connections - or what Bridget calls your tributaries - are what carry you forward. Every success story she heard involved advice, encouragement, or a helping hand from someone else, something I see mirrored in my client’s, and my own experiences.

Bridget writes a brilliant free weekly newsletter for anyone embracing exploration right now - sign up at MyCareerRiver.com.

Questions to Coach Yourself

You don’t have to be committed to doing them, just some gentle curiosity.

Think of one possible next step to bring them closer that excites you. The smaller the step, the better. This is not about giant leaps into the unknown.

It might be reading a book, taking an evening class, trying a one-day workshop, signing up for an online course, grabbing coffee with a friend who works in a related field, or asking ‘do I know anyone who….’ if you don’t have a direct connection.

Drawing a blank? Ask five of your friends to each suggest three roles or directions they think would fit you and why.

It’s fascinating to see how other people see your skills. This is also a really good way to use AI - asking it to suggest some possibilities based on its knowledge of you, or a set of skills, strengths and experiences you supply.

I did a little experiment in preparation for this newsletter on LinkedIn, suggestions from my career community for me included running a bookshop or creative space, therapist, university lecturer or Chief People Officer, Mayor and social enterprise leader.

These ALL made sense to me. I can absolutely see the genesis of these suggestions, see glimmers of future selves in all of them, and they all excite me.

But primarily, they have all piqued my curiosity. Each and every one of these suggestions has given me something to think about, conversations I want to have, people I want to meet, and questions I want to ask.

Hit reply and tell me yours, or add a comment below if you feel comfortable sharing.

Women In Their Own Words

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

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Your Words on My Work

My work with Penny was an absolute game-changer. I went from feeling overwhelmed and discouraged—with no end in sight—to taking charge of my life and career and making sweeping changes for the better. I am so hopeful now—in a new rewarding position and full of exciting ideas for my future. Penny gave me tons of concrete ideas and strategies, but more than that she helped me rediscover my energy, mojo, and value. This work has been such a joy! I highly recommend you try it.

– Marla

If a change might be on your horizon and you would like to discuss working together, hit reply to this email and let’s get the ball rolling.

If this month’s newsletter has got you thinking, why don’t you share it with a friend? Careers karma, always.

Share

Or reply and say hi — I read every note – and I’m also occasionally over on Instagram at @socalledcareer

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

Subscribe now

More Work-ish coming next month!

PJ

I am usually a great lover of new pencil case season - long-term readers will probably have heard my thoughts on this before... But this year?

Hell NO!

My pencils are all packed away in boxes along with the rest of my desk (and all my other possessions tbh), as the house move from hell enters month 11.

I was supposed to be back to work from my new house by the sea by now - laying some foundations for my next phase. Instead, I am still in Hackney, trying to balance work and packing, while experiencing ever-increasing levels of anxiety and frustration in a process I can’t control.

…It is not a vibe I would recommend.

How are you feeling about back-to-school season this year? Are you clear on your work wants for the rest of the year, or feeling a little hazy?

This month’s Work-ish is for anyone feeling a little blurry on what this season stands for. Stepping away from the internet’s opinions, or your own pre-summer expectations, and gently sharpening your own edges.

What are you needing or wanting from your so-called career as we transition from summer to autumn, if you allow yourself to listen?

Let’s get into it.

Share

Your Careers Library

The Gift by Lewis Hyde is not new. Not trendy. But essential if you’ve ever felt weird about charging for something you love doing, or if explaining what it is you actually do makes you feel like a malfunctioning robot.

It’s about creativity, value, and the strangeness of working in a world that doesn’t always value what matters. A favourite of Margaret Atwood, and she beautifully unpacks it in this Paris Review piece.

Definitely one for the highlighter/underliner crew (highlighters, of course, a must for any new pencil case!).

Have you read it already, or are you interested in checking it out? Let me know in the comments!

Leave a comment

A Link I Love

▶︎ Wankernomics

Possibly the best-named website in existence - and an excellent read if you’ve found yourself back in post-summer strategy meetings, nodding along sagely while secretly thinking, “What the hell are we talking about?”

It’s smart, funny, scathing, and spot-on about the nonsense we wrap around work. Go forth, giggle, and get riled.

Share

Questions to Coach Yourself

Not your job title. Not what’s on your email signature. Just… the thing you bring into a room. The thing people remember. Your “professional aura”, one could say (if one were feeling particularly pretentious 🧐🫤…)

Me? I care. I care about work and our relationships with it. I care about our relationships with ourselves and each other. I care about who you are, what you do, and how you feel about it.

What about you? Hit reply and tell me - or drop it in the comments if you fancy sharing.

Women In Their Own Words

“I believe in people who are nervous and whose hands shake a little”

– Deborah Levy

Same. The real ones. The ones who care.

Us.

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Your Words on My Work

“The kindest kick up the bum I have ever received. Helped focus me into finding the answers for myself and moving forward to a happier place. PJ is a real mountain mover but in a kind and completely supportive way. ” - Sarah

Career wobbles. Quiet pivots. Creative redirections. This is my zone.

If you need a gentle(ish) nudge and would like to discuss working together, please reply to this email and let’s get going!

If this newsletter brought your September into focus, please forward it to someone who might need it.

Share

Or say hi. I read every message and I always try to reply. You’ll also find me occasionally on Instagram at @socalledcareer.

If this was forwarded to you and you’d like your own copy next time, subscribe here. There’s also an archive if you want to rummage.

Subscribe now

Remember, just because school has started for another year, you’re an adult now 😳 and don’t need to have everything sorted for the new term.

More Work-ish coming your way next month.

PJ

Last month, we talked about how to keep going. This month? We’re flipping it.

Let’s talk about quitting.

Sometimes, quitting is exactly the right move. I consider myself something of an expert in the scorched earth scenario, having left my last two full-time roles with no plan but a strong sense that I would work it out, and I’m in the middle of doing the same thing with my move to the sea.

We’re not really taught how to stop, though. We’re taught to keep going, keep trying, keep being grateful, keep squeezing some kind of lesson out of something that’s already shrunk and shrivelled. People say ‘when life gives you lemons….’ like making shitty lemonade should be a given.

But honestly, fuck lemons. 🍋

Staying isn’t always the strong thing. Sometimes the strong thing is; saying no. Logging off. Backing out. Quietly putting something down and backing away slowly. Recognising that what might have looked like a great opportunity was actually a great opportunity for someone else. For you? Not so much.

Quitting doesn’t always look dramatic. We find the more extreme examples come to mind more easily, but often, it looks like:

• Sending the “actually, I’m not doing this anymore” email

• Letting a dream go because you’ve outgrown it

• Deciding that just because you can doesn’t mean you have to

So this month, we’re digging into how to know when to stop.

Enjoy!

Your Careers Library

If you’ve ever felt guilty for walking away from something — a job, a plan, a project you already invested so much time in — this one’s for you.

Quit is written by Annie Duke, a former professional poker player turned decision-making nerd (the best kind). She makes a surprisingly strong case for giving up — not as failure, but as a skill.

Turns out, a lot of us stick with things way past the point of no return. Not because they’re still right.

But because we don’t want to feel like we’ve wasted our effort. It’s called the sunk cost fallacy, and it’s everywhere.

In jobs. In friendships. In everything.

This book helps you rethink it. It won’t make your decisions for you. But it will help you recognise when you’re staying for the wrong reasons — and what it might look like to let go with purpose instead of panic.

Read it already, or interested in checking it out? Let me know in the comments!

Leave a comment

And if you’re not sure whether to Grit (like last month…), or Quit, this lovely little practice Eleanor Tweddell shared recently might help.

A Link I Love

▶︎ Why It’s OK to Sometimes Step Back – by Rachel Arthur

If you’ve been toying with the idea of stepping back from work, from being hyper-available, from the seductive myth that everything will fall apart without you, this is a brilliant read.

Rachel Arthur writes about sustainability, but this piece is about something even more universal: knowing when you need a break, and actually taking it. Without apologising. Without performing resilience. Without sending 17 perfectly-crafted handover notes first. (Though she did those too.)

One line I loved:

It’s thoughtful, kind, and honest about how scary it can be to stop… and how the world somehow manages to keep turning anyway.

Bookmark it for the day you need permission. Or forward it to the friend who keeps saying they’re fine (but definitely aren’t).

Share

Questions to Coach Yourself

Don’t just name the person — get specific. Is it the risks they took? The way they left things? The patience? The pivots? The audacity to change their mind?

Start there.

Me? I’m inspired by my grandma. She came to the UK with her younger sister when they were teenagers, with one set of papers between them. She met my grandad (a carpenter, who had WALKED from Wales with his brother to find work), became a teacher, raised three children, and did all the responsible things the world expected of her.

And then she went ‘fuck this shit. I’m not done yet’. She left her husband and spent the next chunk of her life living with her sister, making art, travelling the world, meeting amazing artists and practitioners and causing merry chaos. She died aged 97, having lived such a rich and vibrant life, against the odds, and very much on her terms.

When I was a kid, I very much wanted a normal grandma, but now I realise how amazing it was to have grown up with such amazing tenacity and passion, and a genuine lack of fucks to give about what people thought about her.

(…and yes, that is me, and yes, I really was that cute!)

Hit reply and tell me yours, or add a comment if you feel comfortable sharing.

Women In Their Own Words

“Just because you're good at something, doesn't mean you have to do it.”

– Margaret Heffernan, author of Uncharted and Wilful Blindness, and now also on Substack

Being good at something isn’t a reason to stay.
It’s a reason to know you could do something else, too.

Sometimes, the hardest things to leave are the ones you’re great at — especially if they’re also the things other people have come to rely on, admire, or expect from you.

But you’re allowed to outgrow even your best skills. Especially if they’re costing you more than they give back.

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Your Words on My Work

“Working with Penny helps you to reframe your thinking and take your professional self seriously, without it feeling painful. She's the work manager you never had!” - Anonymous Legend.

If your professional self isn’t being taken seriously enough and you’d like to discuss working together, hit reply to this email and let’s get the ball rolling.

If this newsletter hit a little close to home, you’re not alone.

There’s a lot of noise out there about pushing through, sticking it out, staying strong. But here’s your reminder again:

Choosing to stop is also strong.

So is changing your mind. So is walking away without needing to justify it to anyone.

Whatever version of quitting you’re sitting with right now — a job, a plan, a label, a loop — I hope this gave you a nudge (or the knowledge you’re not alone).

And if it helped? Please pass it on. Careers karma, always.

Share

Or reply and say hi — I read every note – and I’m also occasionally over on Instagram at @socalledcareer

If someone sent this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below or rummage through the archive.

Subscribe now

Take what you need. Leave what you don’t. You don’t have to earn your exit.

More Work-ish coming next month!

PJ

This bit of summer is a funny time isn’t it? You’re not quite into the August holiday surrender/childcare marathon, but it’s hot as hell* and work suddenly feels HARD.

A lot of my clients recently feel like they’re stuck in the in-between. Not quite coasting, but definitely not sprinting. Wondering whether to push, pause or pivot - or just lie down in a dark room with a fan and a Magnum.

And honestly? All of those options are valid.

Feel like your brain turns to custard as soon as the temperature spikes? It’s not just you. It’s BIOLOGY!

• A Harvard study in 2018 showed that ‘increased thermal load’ leads to poor decision making and 13% slower brain functioning.

Use this knowledge to politely reject meeting requests or extend deadlines over the summer months.

So how to keep going?

Not in a relentless, “motivational-insta post” kind of way. But in a “how do I keep showing up for myself when things are slow, sticky, or I just feel a bit meh?” kind of way.

Maybe it’s by sticking with the tiny habits that bring you back to you.
Maybe it’s by naming one small, achievable goal (not ten).
Maybe it’s by letting yourself rest without guilt - because rest is part of progress.

This isn’t about pushing through at all costs.

You’re signed up for the marathon not a sprint, so you want to be pacing yourself like someone you actually care about.

(Even if that someone is currently melting into the pavement and wondering if anyone's hiring before September*.)

Side-note - I have just read Born To Run (thanks to Legend Squad member Kate for the recco), so am absolutely considering myself an expert on all things extreme running now, despite only being on week 5 of couch to 5km.

So if you're in a weird in-between season work-wise, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. It’s normal. And honestly? You’re probably doing great.

Some good reads, words, and tips a-plenty below.

Enjoy!

*Pro-tip. When hiring slows for summer, it’s a perfect time to take stock and ask yourself ‘what can I do differently?’

Your Careers Library

This month, I’m adding Angela Duckworth’s Grit to the careers library.

If the title is giving you strong vibes of Demi Moore in GI Jane, or an Etsy print in an influencer’s workspace, stay with me.

This book isn’t about overachieving your way to a strung-out, exhausted mess. It’s about what keeps people going long after the motivation fades. Olympians. Teachers. CEOs. People who’ve stuck at something for longer than most of us have kept a houseplant alive.

What I liked is that it doesn’t make talent the hero of the story. She makes the case, with plenty of research and lived examples, that passion plus perseverance is what actually moves things forward.

Useful if you’re building something, changing paths, or feeling disconnected from your own career story. There’s something comforting about the idea that you don’t need to be the best — you just need to not quit**.

If you’ve read this one or plan to, I’d love to know what you think.

Leave a comment

**While Grit is all well and good most of the time, sometimes the answer is absolutely to Quit (wait for next month’s Work-ish for more on that front).

If you’re not sure whether to Grit, or Quit, this lovely little practice Eleanor Tweddell shared recently might help.

A Link I Love

If you're feeling foggy about what comes next (career-wise, life-wise, or motivation-wise) this 20-minute exercise might help.

▶︎ The Odyssey Plan (via Daniel Pink on LinkedIn)

It’s based on an idea from Stanford’s Life Design Lab and asks you to map out three different versions of your next five years:

1. The one where you stay exactly where you are

2. The one where you do something totally different

3. The one where you stop caring what anyone thinks and just go for it

It’s not about choosing the “right” one. It’s about seeing that there’s more than one — and giving yourself permission to want something else, even if you’re not ready to act on it yet.

It made me think of this fab New Yorker feature I read back in lockdown about our many and varied unlived lives - the Sliding Doors moments we rack up every day.

This is perfect if you’re feeling stuck, bored, or halfway through the year and wondering, “What am I even doing?” (see last month’s Work-ish for some mid-year reflection prompts!)

Do it with a notebook. Or a friend. Or a big piece of cake.

The Reset

We love a plan. A big leap. A bold move. Ducks in a row, trotting merrily along behind us. But what actually helps most of us build momentum, especially when we’re fried or flailing?

Small things. Familiar things. Baby steps. The things that remind us who we are when we’re wobbling, and boost our confidence that we can do this. Also ducks. But small ones.

So: here’s a tool you can use – the Reset. Three things that make you feel more like you, no matter what’s going on. Not aspirational. Not aesthetic. Just real.

Here’s mine right now:

1. Using the spotlight setting on my phone to engage my cats in a very classy photoshoot (yes, one of them was in my laundry basket - definitely NOT aspirational)

2. Stop and notice what I’m actually feeling - not what I think I should be feeling - and what I need as a result.

3. Eat something vaguely nutritious, or at least nutritionally adjacent. (Like biscuits) and have a glass of water - because it never fails to amaze me how often some combination of a nap, a snack, a walk, and a drink make the world of difference.

Your turn:

• Write your three. Type them in your notes app.

• Come back to them when your day (or brain) feels like a browser with 47 tabs open and give yourself the gift of a mini-reset.

Women In Their Own Words

“Why the fuck not me, should be your motto.”

– Mindy Kaling

This one comes from Mindy Kaling, a writer, actor, producer, and all-around powerhouse who has built her career on doing things before someone else gave her permission.

What if you stopped waiting for someone to validate your idea / talent / right to be in the room - and just asked: why the fuck not me?

Pin it. Say it. Try it on, even if it feels weird. Especially if it feels weird.

Your Words on My Work

“Penny’s gift lies in brilliantly reframing every seemingly insurmountable problem I have brought to her as a new, very achievable opportunity to get what I want and need out of my career.

Throughout my career pivot, she has consistently been my lighthouse amidst a storm of expectations, worries, struggles and redirections. In turn, I have learned to find my own calm, clarity and courage.

Penny is not simply great at her job. She fundamentally transforms your relationship to work, career and ambition.” - Alex

Working with people through career pivots is one of my favourite things. Not because I get to say “follow your dreams” (please no), but because I get to watch someone quietly claiming their own calm.

If you’re in the middle of a wobble or want some support figuring out what’s next, perhaps your Odyssey Plan has left you feeling inspired (or confused) — coaching amazing women through work wobbles is what I do.

Hit reply on this email if you fancy a chat.

If you’re still here - reading, scrolling, wondering whether biscuits count as lunch - that already tells me you’re doing your best. And that counts.

Keeping going doesn’t mean smashing it.

It might just mean: Not quitting today. Sending one email. Going for that walk. Letting something go. Doing something differently.

Whatever it looks like - slow, scrappy, sideways - it’s enough.

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If this newsletter helped at all, feel free to hit the button above and pass it on in exchange for a tiny hit of careers karma. Or hit reply and say hi - I read everything, and I’ll always try to reply (eventually).

I’m also occasionally on Instagram at @socalledcareer.

And if someone forwarded this to you and you want your own copy next time, you can subscribe below. Or dig through the archive if you’re in a rummaging mood.

Subscribe now

Thanks for reading. Until next month, here’s to all things work-ish!

PJ

I have found my rhythm.

I can legitimately call this a monthly(ish) newsletter again.

And what a month it has been - there have been highs and lows aplenty, but seemingly no middle ground for me to catch my breath. With so much going on, it almost escaped me that June marks the midway point in 2025 and presents the perfect opportunity to check in on what you set out to achieve way back in the dark depths of January.

But what if you look back on what you thought would be possible for the year ahead - manageable yet motivating, stretchy yet satisfying - and you realise you’re not even close?

If this is you, welcome to the club (see below!). Don’t worry, I’ve got you.

There are tips aplenty for you below.

Dive in!

Your Careers Library

This month, I’m adding Charlie Colenutt’s amazing Is This Working? to the careers library. I mentioned this book last year when it came out.

Now I’ve read it, and if you have ever found yourself wondering what a day in the life of a baker, a sex worker, a job centre coach, an engineer or an equities trader really looks like, and how they feel about it, I think you should too.

Disillusioned by his first job out of university as a lawyer, and inspired by Studs Terkel’s 1974 book Working, about working life in America, Charlie Colenutt spent two years travelling the country in a van, asking a glorious mishmash of everyday people to ‘tell me the story of your working life’.

The result, while technically ‘just people talking about their jobs’, gives an exceptional insight into how we live, what we value and who we are at a time of immense complexity and change.

This is THE BOOK on working life in the UK and I am already lining it up again for a second read.

If you’ve read this one or plan to read it as a result of my ramblings, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.

Leave a comment

A Link I Love

▶︎ This poem by Georgie Jones

“girlboss, schmirlboss. if it needs to be packaged, labeled and made safe for consumption- I don’t want it 😘” – 🖊 @georgie_jonez

This line is still ringing in my head:

“This world has never really known what to do with a woman who wants more without apology.”

If you’ve ever side-eyed a neon “Slay the Day” sign or felt weird about ambition being shrink-wrapped in glitter, this is a must-watch.

It's sharp, honest, and quietly furious in all the ways I love.

Share

A Mid-Year Moment

Somehow, it’s June. Which means we’re halfway through the year — and whether you’re crushing your 2025 goals, didn’t make any in the first place, or have forgotten what they even were, take this as an invitation to pause and take stock.

Not in a “hustle harder” way. Nope. More in a “is this still working for me?” kind of way.

My Goals for 2025 - very much incomplete.

Here are some questions I’m asking clients (and myself) right now:

• What's on your ta-da list for the last 6 months? What have you already nailed — even if it wasn’t what you originally set out to do?

• What are you working toward — and does it still feel relevant, exciting, or vaguely motivating? If not, know that you can shake it up and start again with something that works for the you you are now.

• Is it actually achievable, given your current time / energy / brain capacity? — if not, what is the one thing you would feel most miffed about if you haven’t managed it by December? Start with that.

• What smaller “get-me-there” goals could you use to help break something big into something less terrifying and more manageable?

If you think six months isn’t enough time to make meaningful change, here’s a reminder in the form of a testimonial from one of the Legend Squad (aka my wonderful clients and community):

“The last 6 months have been a much-needed evolution of self! I felt heard and supported throughout the process, my confidence has grown, the sessions were a total treat and between them the continued support kept me on track.

The numerous book, podcast and exercise recommendations kept me inspired, and the gentle, generous and open environment Penny created gave space for vulnerability and creativity.” – Bernadette

Bernie has gone from complete career confusion, to being accepted onto a Masters. This didn’t happen by magic. It was a series of small supported steps. Exactly the kind of approach this newsletter - and all my work - is all about.

If you would like to discuss working together, let’s talk:

Email PJ

Women In Their Own Words

“The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.”

– Adrienne Rich

YES. This is a wonderful New Yorker piece about poet and essayist Adrienne Rich, who passed away in 2012 but left us with a truly rich - fitting - body of work that helped shape 20th-century literature, feminist theory, and political thought.

Your Words on My Work: Work-ish Edition!

“Love the look/feel of Work-ish! What particularly resonated was asking myself to ‘put down’ expectations... of myself, for myself… and try to ride the (slower) flow.” – Jen

Your messages mean so much - please keep them coming!

“I was so thrilled to receive your newsletter this morning — it was just chocka with the good stuff.” – Nancy

Thanks for reading. Thanks for writing back. It’s what keeps this whole thing going.

Email PJ

If this newsletter feels helpful, please - as always - pass it on in return for a little hit of careers karma. Or comment below!

You can also reply to this email and say hi. Share your thoughts. Ask a question. Rant if you need to. I read everything, and I always try to reply. I’m also occasionally on Instagram at @socalledcareer.

If someone sent you this and you’d like your own copy next time, hit the button below to subscribe. You can also rummage through the archive to catch up.

Subscribe now

Take what you need from this. Whether your reset is revolution or evolution, it’s all good.

Until next month, here’s to all things work-ish!

PJ

What’s four months between friends?

I didn’t mean to take this break. If you’d asked me in January or February about the newsletter, I had content ideas aplenty.

But I was also in the midst of trying to move to the sea - a project which has had more bumps than road - I had a full crew of clients, and life just got in the way. It was one of those times when you just have to bust out your best ‘tutu and crash helmet’ combo and ride it on out.

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The newsletter became one more thing on the lengthy should-do list, and I was shoulding all over myself and getting nothing done.

So I just sort of stopped.

Recently, though, there has been some movement. The move to the sea is (touch wood) back on the cards, I have been squirrelling away things I want to share, and I have been really missing the sense of connection this newsletter gives me.

It feels like time to re-emerge, but with a bit of a glow up.

So welcome to this, the first issue of Work-ish: The My So-Called Career Newsletter on Substack!

You can expect a ‘sort of monthly’ newsletter on all things work-ish. Thoughtful, useful, largely unfiltered and almost always slightly sweary.

If you are new to MSCC, the goal is simple: to give you recommendations, tips, tools and friendly nudges to help you take ownership of your so-called career - one, often slightly wobbly, step at a time.

If you are a long-term member of the legend squad, thanks for being here. I appreciate you, and would love to hear what you think of the new look and new platform.

It’s going to be awesome, so make sure it doesn’t go to your spam folder!

Your Careers Library

This month, I’m adding Isabel Berwick’s The Future-Proof Career to the careers library. I’ve recently recommended it to clients and friends, which is a good sign that some of you will find it useful too.

While I’m not sure it’s possible to fully future-proof any career, this is super practical, full of tips and advice you can put into action right away, whatever your career stage, and feels very current. If you are used to getting your career advice with added memes, this is a good expert accompaniment.

It’s split into two sections - one for employees and one for managers - which, tbh, I found a slightly odd approach but the topics covered are wide-ranging, relevant and accessible.

One thing I found a little challenging is that the author has worked in the same company for 20 years which brings a certain perspective, but her personal experience is balanced by input from a range of expert voices and contributors to the FT Working It column and podcast.

I would love to hear your thoughts if you add this one to your so-called career’s library and if you have any recommendations for me to share in future please don’t be shy!

Leave a comment

A Link I Love

I talk a lot about scaffolding in my coaching work, so you can imagine how excited I was to find this amazing article about the unique qualities and the craft of working with bamboo scaffolding, and how it has been passed down through generations in Hong Kong.

It totally hit my personal sweet spot between weird and wonderful jobs, and the coaching tools I use every day.

Before you start wondering if you’re accidentally reading the wrong newsletter, the scaffolding I work with is more psychological. Giving yourself the right kind of support - built from routine, ritual, connection and comfort - to hold you steady, especially when things feel challenging, overwhelming or uncertain, which, let’s face it, tends to be pretty often for a lot of your work-lives or you wouldn’t be reading this.

Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion is exactly that kind of support.

If your inner monologue has been doing a number on you lately (“you should be further along,” “you’re behind,” “why haven’t you done more”), this is your cue to pause and take a look at how you treat yourself.

She writes:

“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”

I especially recommend her self-compassion break - a simple practice you can come back to mid-meltdown to create a moment of calm. Quietly powerful stuff.

If the full practice doesn’t resonate, this super simple version works just as well:

• Take a moment.

• Take 3 deep breaths - in through the nose and out through the mouth.

• Notice what you’re feeling, and ask yourself ‘what do I need most right now in this moment?’ and ‘what can I do to respond to that need?’

Questions to Coach Yourself

Work (like life) generally involves dealing with a lot of other people’s choices - and they are often questionable. So what are you choosing for yourself to balance things out?

And what are you going to put down to make room for it?

It could be an expectation. A role you didn’t ask for. A punishing timeframe. A difficult work relationship. A project that is taking up too much space.

It could even be a job you’ve grown out of, or a career path that has run out of road.

You don’t have to fix it overnight, but naming it is a good start.

Me? I’ve chosen the sea, and a new home in a new town. To make space for it I have been holding my relationship with London more lightly, and my little flat in Hackney - my home for the last 14 years, and the home of My So-Called Career - in particular.

Send me a message and tell me yours ↴ or add a comment if you feel comfortable sharing.

Women In Their Own Words

“The things I thought would happen didn’t. Things I never anticipated unfolded.” – Patti Smith

I’ve read this about 12 times this month. Feels true. Feels helpful. Feels like a reminder that life surprises us, newsletters don’t get sent, and the good stuff can sometimes take the long way around, even for Patti Smith (icon).

Your Words on My Work

“The kindest kick up the bum I have ever received. Helped focus me into finding the answers for myself and moving forward to a happier place. PJ is a real mountain mover but in a kind and completely supportive way.” - Sarah, Senior Broker, Insurance

If you’ve got some mountains you need help moving and would like to discuss working together, let’s talk!

Don’t Be a Stranger

If this first edition of Work-ish feels helpful, please pass it on in return for a little hit of careers karma. Or comment below!

You can also reply to this email and say hi. Share your thoughts Ask a question. Rant if you need to. I read everything, and I always try to reply. I’m also occasionally on Instagram at @socalledcareer.

If someone sent you this and you’d like your own copy next time, hit the button below to subscribe. You can also rummage through the archive to catch up.

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Here’s to all things Work-ish.

Until next month!

PJ

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