The same day, we went to the Getty Museum, which I mostly wanted to see for the architecture. We saw both the Getty Center and the Getty Villa, which reminded me of the Met and Met Cloisters pairing in NYC. The Getty Center by architect Richard Meier was a building I had studied in a college class. I normally don’t gravitate towards this style of building, but I think it pairs so well with LA’s environment and desert-leaning nature. In the Getty Villa, I was especially in love with how the seating areas around the pool were designed. There was something so artistic about it, and I love when functional art is done so beautifully.

Spending time at the beach here reminded me that I want to eventually live somewhere that is close and easily accessible to one in the future. It genuinely is so peaceful to spend time by the ocean and is a lifestyle I wasn’t as familiar with growing up around Atlanta, Georgia.

We tried soooo much matcha, which I had so much fun with. From Community Goods to Series A, I feel like I did not experience one bad matcha. They were all a little different, some stronger than others, but I never had a “too milky” situation, and the prices were a little better compared to NYC matcha. I really did enjoy a lot of the general food scene in LA. With there being such a demand for health-conscious lifestyles there, it was easy to find healthy substitutes and options that fit my lifestyle well.

And most importantly, my favorite part about LA was spending time with friends. I have no idea if my childhood best friend will see this, but I am genuinely so proud of her. Every time I think about the fact that she’s moved to LA and fulfilled her childhood dreams, I always remember the version of her that told me about those things for the first time from our elementary school’s playground. When I travel, I love to try and experience a new place in a less touristy way, and it’s especially fun when I get to experience a friend’s personal lifestyle. It’s truly the best to witness your friends’ love for a place.

I’m not going to lie, I did not consider LA too favorably until recently. Some part of it might be related to me living in NYC, and it always seems to be a game of which city is better. You hear about the influencer culture, how fake everything and everyone is, but it’s really not that way. Maybe it is someone’s experience of LA, but you could probably say the same about NYC or really any other big city. LA is massive, and there’s so much to explore. The lifestyle seems to be what you make of it, and having the beach nearby and the overall good weather makes having a peaceful and balanced life pretty common. The strangers we interacted with were so kind, and the places to explore were endless. I am definitely excited to go back and see more of it.

That’s my recap of LA, I hope you enjoyed reading! I filmed a vlog on my YouTube in case you’d be interested. See you soon :)

Love,

Sofia

xx

The first few warm days of spring brought back memories of long afternoons under the sun in Central Park, and the lively walks home passing by outdoor restaurant seating filled with friends meeting up for post-work happy hour. After the long, cold winters here, I’m reminded why I love being in this city during the summer.

This summer has been panning out a little different from how I’d hoped it would back in the Spring. The excitement I’d had fell flat, and the heat started to surpass a bearable temperature by early July. It’s a disappointment that you can’t take so heavily because you remember how bitter the cold was and all the vows you made to never complain about the heat of the summer. I always try to say yes to every plan during the summer to make the most of it, so there’s always something to get me out no matter what. And although it’s maybe not the summer I imagined, there are pockets of happiness.

A Central Park picnic will always make me happy. I always host a big one with a bunch of friends and a cheese board, but I also enjoy the more impromptu ones where you end up sitting on the grass with a sandwich from a nearby shop. The summer glow of the park will always be my favorite view in New York, where you can almost see the heat radiating off the grass and water.

Something specific about this summer is the excitement around sports. Recently, the Knicks won the NBA championship, and the entire city celebrated in a way I’ve never witnessed myself. Also, with the World Cup happening here, it’s been fun seeing people wearing their team jerseys and bars celebrating louder than I’ve ever heard. I’m also specifically into F1 and have been watching a few of the races at bars with friends. This is the summer of sports, and it’s something that has brought a lot of people together to celebrate, which adds more to the feeling this summer brings.

I feel like this is one of those summers people are going to look back on and remember nostalgically. There are many highs and lows, but this summer will remain in my memories for a while. I personally feel like my mind has entirely changed, and we are only a month deep into this season. So much is yet to come, especially during late summer, which is probably my favorite time of the year.

Love,

Sof

xx

I was 14, entering high school, when my parents took me out of ballet to focus on my education. I had always been on and off with ballet my entire life, so it wasn’t like they were taking me away from some professional career or anything serious. But it was a hobby that I deeply enjoyed and found a lot of passion in. That specific time was also when I had just gotten approved for pointe, a desire I had ever since my childhood ballet teacher let us run a lap around the studio in her pointe shoes. I never regretted anything in my life, but having to quit ballet was something I didn’t quite get over. Yet looking back now, I don’t hold any animosity towards that experience since the story didn’t quite end there.

Anyways, it wasn’t until I was in college that I realized people could still take ballet classes as an adult. And it wasn’t until I had started taking those ballet classes that I realized getting on pointe as an adult was an option. Of course, building up the strength and technique for these things was a bit harder as an adult, especially now that injuries feel a bit more serious than when I was a kid, but the fact that it was still possible blew my mind.

Around a year and a half ago, my ballet teacher told me I was strong enough for pointe. I couldn’t tell you how excited I was. For years I had worked hard to accept this belief that I had missed my chance, but here I was staring at my second opportunity. The process after getting approved to be able to dance in pointe shoes has been a journey of its own, one that I am definitely still at the beginning of, but I am just happy to be on it.

It’s easy to get hard on yourself about ballet because we are all striving for perfection, but it’s equally important to enjoy the whole process. We will never reach a “perfect” level in any sport since there is always something to work harder on or be better at. But being able to enjoy it wherever you are at is what builds passion and keeps you going to class.

In the past year, I have also had 2 opportunities to perform at a friends-and-family-style ballet show. Performing as an adult who isn’t a professional was also something I didn’t know was an option, but something I am so happy exists. Doing ballet as an adult feels so much more fun than when I was younger. It’s not as much of an obligation, and there’s so much less pressure. I also have truly enjoyed the community I have met since we all share the same hobby.

While there are moments I think about what my skill level could’ve been if I hadn’t been so on and off with ballet as a kid, I am also kind of glad for it. The ballet world can be quite toxic at times in regards to the ways bodies are monitored and unhealthy views around competition. I never really experienced much of that because I had treated it more like a hobby than something I was pursuing as a career. A lot of the reason why I came back to it as an adult was because of the way I remembered it from my childhood, and I feel grateful for that.

I wanted to share this because I feel like there is so much in adulthood that we make excuses for not pursuing now. So many childhood dreams that we write off because we didn’t get the chance to do it when we were younger. But I truly feel like there is so much more we can do the older we get. I hope if there’s anything in your life that you remember wanting to do as a kid, you can take a chance on it now.

My ballet showcase vlog:

Thank you for reading :)

Love,

Sof xx

And so, I want to share a few things this month that did bring me joy:

Ballet:

Ballet is my favorite hobby, and one that I rely on to be a consistent part of my life. It gives me something outside of work to progress, and it is purely for fun. While going through a lot of change and newness this winter, I have leaned heavily on ballet as a consistent part of my life to feel grounded in.

I always encourage people to find hobbies they truly enjoy in their 20s because it truly makes a positive difference. It adds something to enjoy in life and to lean on when other things are a bit more uncertain.

Aperture by Harry Styles:

This song has been a fun release this winter. It’s the first song of his that I’m actually tuned in to for its release, because I only really got into his music in 2023, well after his previous album release.

I’m no expert with music, but I’m just happy this song came out now. It makes me excited for the summer and lightens up my mood a bit. It reminds me a bit of Lorde’s music, which I also listen to when I need something light and dance-y to listen to.

Bites in the City:

There is no better activity than trying new restaurants and cafes this time of year. It’s the perfect way to escape the cold and find proof that people are still out and about in the depths of winter. A wine night, reading at a cafe, trying a new soup—all of them, lovely cozy winter adventures to have with friends.

I recently went to Traveler’s Poets & Friends in the West Village, which I really enjoyed. It’s an Italian cafe and dining spot that functions like a market and was the perfect spot to meet up with a slightly larger group. The walls were covered in different Italian products, and the food options were plentiful.

Her Name is Han was on my list for a while, and my roommate and I decided to go together spontaneously one night. It’s a Korean spot, and we tried their delicious Army stew (Budae-jjigae) and sweet potato noodles (Japchae). This time of year is when I especially love any stew or soup-based dish. Again, it adds to the cozy vibes after speed walking through the single-digit temperature outside.

Card Games in a Bar:

This is a little out-of-the-blue joyful moment I shared with a couple of friends one night out at the bar. We played card games in this cozy Irish pub called Swift Hibernian Lounge, and it ended up being one of my favorite nights out. The place was absolutely packed, but again, it kind of made me happy to see so many people out when I usually associate that with the summertime. What else can I say but that the vibes were definitely cozy?

I guess, upon reflection, this January hasn’t been all that bad, considering the moments of joy I’ve highlighted. Sometimes the negatives can feel heavier than the positives, but it’s important to pay attention to the happy moments, regardless of how big or small. I still hope that one day, I can feel a bit more excited for January-February and its uniqueness beyond just appreciating the slowness after the holiday chaos.

Hopefully, your January has been lovely and that February brings you even more to enjoy.

My January vlog:

With Love,

Sof xx

The Menu

I was heavily inspired by a lot of what I had saved in my Pinterest board. I always love making a cheeseboard, so I wanted to do an expanded version with the small bites.

1. Feta + mini cucumber checkerboard salad

2. Bread Platter

3. Cheeseboard

4. Fries Platter

5. Chili Oil Hummus

6. Caprese Salad

7. Cream Cheese Stuffed Peppers

8. Ricotta & Honey Dip

9. Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Platter

If there’s anything from this list you must try, it’s the cream cheese stuffed peppers from Trader Joe’s. After trying them on a cheeseboard I made with my friends during the summer, they have become a staple on every one that I have made since. They are so addictive.

Cheeseboards are one of my favorite things to make, and I’ve gotten my method down pretty well. I could write a whole separate letter on the art of a cheeseboard, but for the basics, I always make sure there are 2-3 types of cheese (at least 1 soft and 1 hard), 2 types of crackers, some form of bread, at least 2 different fruits that pair well with cheese, and jam or honey.

The Decor

I treated this party as my chance to make all the Pinterest board pins a reality (to the best of my ability and resources). I had been seeing a bunch of silver serving platters, artistic ways of arranging food, and aesthetic table decor that I really wanted to make happen. I’d say I got 80% of the way there in achieving my Pinterest dreams, which is a good start in this new desire I have to host more often.

I went with a light blue and burgundy design theme for the invitations and table decor, such as the cocktail napkins and table runner. I sourced a few silver trays and platters from TJ Maxx and online. I got a few tapered candles, which were a fun addition that added warmth to the table. I stuck a couple into some long-necked glassware I had previously used as single-stem vases. There’s something about a candle dripping wax that elevates the look of a tablescape.

My favorite thing I got was a couple of disposable cameras for the table. It was so much fun to see how the pictures turned out, and they have such a nostalgic feel to them. I always love this idea for hosting events because it encourages people to take pictures and is a fun physical memory to look back on.

The Game

Now for the game aspect. The Murder Mystery-Mafia-Among Us-Traitors-inspired game that I wrote up instructions for. I could have just played one of those existing party games, but I wanted to ensure that the rules felt doable for the length of the party and didn’t involve too much acting/role-playing that guests would need to prep for. So here’s the version I came up with:

To Play

Upon arriving, everyone will choose a slip of paper that has either a G (Guest), M (Murderer), or A (Accomplice) on it. Everyone will not reveal what their slip of paper says as the night begins, before we sit down at the table. As everyone is mingling, guests should aim to gather clues on who the murderer could be. Simultaneously, the murderer should aim to claim their victim, overtly telling the other person, “I’m marking you a victim,” or something of the sort. You are only allowed to murder 1 person per round. As the murderer is making their play, the accomplice should be working to determine who the murderer is, and if they choose, similarly marking a victim by saying, “I’m marking you a victim,” or something similar.

Throughout the night, anyone can call a meeting, and we will all gather around the table and discuss who we think the murderer is. Only 1 meeting can be called per person. When we sit down each time, any victim must grab a card from the table that identifies them as a victim, and refrain from any discussion at the table. Everyone will write their votes on a piece of paper, which will be read out. There are only 3 times in which we will vote. Between the rounds of voting, the victim(s) and people voted out can continue to mingle without revealing anything about the game.

For the guests to win, they must correctly vote out the murderer (both the murderer and accomplice will lose the game). The guests must NOT vote out the accomplice, or else the accomplice will win the game (the murderer and guests will lose the game).

For the murderer to win, they must claim at least 1 victim and not be voted out in the 3 rounds. The victim must NOT be the accomplice, or else the murderer will lose (and the guests will win)

For the accomplice to win, they must name the murderer, and the murderer must not get voted out (or accidentally killed by the accomplice). The accomplice does NOT have to make a kill to win.

• This will be announced at the end of the night if all three guesses for the murderer are wrong. The accomplice will be asked to come forward and reveal who the murderer is.

*In the case that the murderer is found in the first round, the game can be restarted by drawing cards once again. One guest or accomplice will secretly turn into the murderer, while the previous murderer takes the role of accomplice.

All in all, I was really happy with how this birthday party went. I love hosting and planning events (except for the utter panic 48 hours before the event), but I really want to get more into hosting seasonal events. I hope to document this and share my learnings because it truly is a hobby and form of design that I enjoy. I’d love to know your favorite hosting tips and advice if you have any!

Leave a comment

If you’d like to see a personal diary of the planning, I made this vlog with every step of prep:

Thank you for reading. I’ll write soon.

Love,

Sof xx

So here is my own personal list of favorites from this year. These are things that I have added to my daily life or have made a strong impact on me during this year and before. I’d love to hear if any of these resonate with you.

Beauty

1. Eadem Lip Balm in the shade Bissap Glaze: I have been on the hunt for plum colored makeup products lately, as I feel it looks really nice on my skin tone. I must also say, I am typically forgetful when it comes to lip products, so it says a lot that this tube is nearly empty after less than a year of use. As a big fan of product design and marketing, I love the brand story behind the product—it celebrates beauty while prioritizing skincare. This lip balm has become an item I transfer from bag to bag, always within reach to reapply throughout the day.

2. Beauty of Joseon — nearly their entire product line: It’s rare for me to fall in love with almost every product from a brand since I am pretty picky about what skincare I add to my routine, and don’t often experiment with new products. Over the past couple of years, however, I have slowly started to introduce quite a few Beauty of Joseon products into my routine. It started with the original sunscreen (which they have now changed for U.S. customers, and I have yet to try it), their Glow and Revive serums, and most recently, their Revive Eye Serum. I love the old sunscreen so much, and am a bit nervous to try the new U.S. version since I love the old one so much. It doesn’t leave a white cast and always feels very protective when I wear it. The Revive Eye Serum is another favorite that I added to my night routine, and I truly feel like it helps my under-eye area brighten up so much.

3. Orpheon by Diptyque: I have been on the hunt for a signature scent over the past few years, and have been stuck on this particular scent for so long. It’s the only one I can recognize in public, and it smells amazing every time. I finally decided to invest in it this year, and I’m really excited about it! I do feel like a signature scent has to develop over time, but I also love attributing different scents to different times in life. Scent can hold many memories, and I love that Orpheon will at least remind me of now, regardless of whether it becomes a signature scent or not.

4. Nail Reformation Press-On Nails: My childhood best friend introduced me to this brand over a year ago, and I have never looked back since. It’s so funny because we connected over press-on nails way back in the 3rd grade, and those definitely looked rough. Press-ons have come so far since then, and this brand is truly the only one I’ve tried so far that looks realistic. The designs are fun, the fit is perfect, and I’m able to get two sets out of every pack, which makes them really worth it. They also always last me over 2 weeks, and I’m fairly rough with them. I cannot recommend them enough.

5. A La Maison de Provence Oat Milk Body Wash: I have never smelled a more delectable body wash. I randomly picked it up at Whole Foods one day just because I liked how the packaging looked, and I have become obsessed with it since. I’m not fussy about the body washes I use; I’m pretty open to trying whatever is available, but this one will definitely become a frequent repurchase from now on.

Hobbies

1. Louise Carmen Inspired Traveler’s Journal — gifted to me by a lovely friend of mine: Earlier this year, I started seeing this style of journals all over TikTok, particularly from a French brand called Louise Carmen. One of my friends so generously made one for me, and I have been loving using it ever since. Journaling has always been a hobby of mine since I was a young teenager, and I have always had a scattering of various notebooks for different lists and thoughts. Having them all in one place makes me feel so much more organized, and it has encouraged me to keep up with my writing more.

2. Ballet: This year has definitely been marked by my reintroduction into ballet. While I restarted it last fall after many years away from it, this was the year I was approved for pointe, a goal I had dreamed of as a kid and thought was no longer possible until now. I spoke about my journey in adult ballet on my YouTube channel, and I am so glad that this year has been full of progress in this hobby. I was even given the opportunity to perform for the first time in over ten years, which was such an amazing part of the year.

3. Sony ZV-1 II: This was the year I finally decided to invest in a proper vlog camera after all these years working on my YouTube channel. I mainly wanted to get a separate camera so that I wouldn’t have my phone out all the time, and to save on storage space on my phone, which was becoming a real issue to work around. While it has been quite the adjustment, I have enjoyed getting to know this camera more, and it truly has improved the quality of my videos in some ways. In the next year, I really want to invest more time into my channel and really achieve the look and feel that I want to. This camera will definitely come in handy for that.

4. Books & Movies: In no particular order, my favorite books and movies that I have consumed this year include: Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins, Book Lovers by Emily Henry, Before Sunrise directed by Richard Linklater, Cinderella directed by Kenneth Branagh, and The Holiday directed by Nancy Meyers. I haven’t had as much time this year for as many books and movies as I used to consume every year, but these are definitely ones that have stuck with me.

5. Music: My top two artists this year have to be Olivia Dean and Harry Styles. An interesting combination, but I listened to both of them a lot this year. Similar to my skincare, I am not usually someone who gets invested in entire albums or artists’ discographies, but nearly every song from these two has become a favorite at different points in the year. I really got back into Harry Styles during my trip to London this year, as I had remembered listening to a lot of his music during my study abroad in London. It brought back so much joy to listen to those songs again in the same city after a while. Olivia Dean took over a lot of my summer into fall and winter, as her voice and lyrics bring so much comfort.

Fashion

1. Triangle Scarves: A new interest this fall has definitely been triangle scarves. They’ve been around, but I really got inspired this year after seeing the Damson Madder coat that went semi-viral. I decided to create my own version of that coat with a Michael Kors short trench coat and a leopard print triangle scarf, which has become one of my favorite winter accessories. It’s so simple, but elevates the look.

2. Flabellus Ballet Flats: As I was traveling to Spain earlier this year, I knew I wanted to try out this brand and their ballet flats since I had seen them on social media. They are known for their colorful velvet shoes, and I thought they would be a perfect addition to my wardrobe. I, of course, got them in a beautiful burgundy shade, one of my favorite colors. They have been very comfortable to wear, and are surprisingly easy to style despite being more of a statement shoe.

3. Brands I’ve Been Loving: As I’ve been trying to be more intentional and selective about the things I’ve added to my wardrobe, I do still enjoy seeing what a brand brings out over the year. I mentioned Damson Madder earlier, and it has definitely become a brand that has inspired me. I own a couple of pieces from them, but I have also been inspired by their styling and have replicated some looks, such as the coat from earlier, with things I already own. Their color palette and styling always feel bright and artistic, which I really appreciate. On the other side of the spectrum, I have really been enjoying Quince for its basics and staple pieces. Their maxi skirts have become a frequently worn item in my closet because they can really be styled in so many different ways.

4. Pajamas: This is kind of a random addition, and very adult, but this year I invested in my pajamas. A hundred percent splurge, but there’s something so nice about coming home and changing into a proper set of comfy, pretty pajamas. It’s the little joys in life.

Design/Home

1. I recently got this vase from work, and it has been such a lovely addition to my room decor. This year, I really wanted to make my room super cozy and designed it in a way that makes me happy. While I don’t have the most space in the world, I found the little decor elements I’ve added, including this vase, have truly made my room feel homier.

2. Light Blue and Burgundy: color pairings have become a conversation I tapped into this year, and this one does something to my brain. I themed my birthday decor after this pairing. I’ve styled outfits with these colors. It’s so pretty to me.

3. Investing in Towels: Another “adult” thing, but getting large, plushy towels has been a pleasant investment. I got the ones from the Threshold line at Target, but any towels that have “spa” in the name should do the job. I’ve found this year that elevating the things I use daily gives that extra bit of happiness.

Food

1. This again feels very adult, but I absolutely loooove my breakfast. I have quite literally eaten it every single day this year. It’s essentially these protein pancakes that I batch make every Sunday (I add in cinnamon and chia seeds to them), an over-easy egg (with an obscene amount of Trader Joe’s smoked paprika on it because it’s so good), and Greek yogurt with berries and almond butter on top.

2. Matcha: I know nearly everyone has been obsessed with matcha for the past couple of years, but I’ve started getting more into finding the right matcha powders and making them at home. I love adding cinnamon to my matcha as well, which I’ve learned is helpful for lowering blood sugar.

Travel

1. London: I think it will always be top of the list whenever I visit this city, mainly because I have so much attachment to it from studying abroad there a few years ago. We got really lucky with the weather since it was sunny and just warm enough. I got to show some friends around who had never visited, and we saw a lot of London in a few short days. I especially loved the Airbnbs that we stayed at, particularly the first one, which felt like the perfect London apartment.

2. Ireland: I had so much fun during my few short days in Ireland this past fall. It felt so magical and relaxing because we went with very little planned out. I found it really fun to explore the city and stop by the shops, restaurants, and bars that looked interesting to us and be very pleasantly surprised. One of my favorite parts was the cliff walk we did in Howth, it was so peaceful with the most beautiful views.

3. Barcelona: This city surprised me, as I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. I obviously was very interested in going, but found the city to be even more beautiful than I expected, with its rich history in architecture and the amount of greenery throughout the city.

And that is my wrapup of my yearly favorites! I’ve also made a video speaking more about all of these things in case you would be interested. I love hearing about other people’s favorites, too, so I would love to hear what YOU have been loving this year as well.

Leave a comment

Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll write to you soon.

Happy Holidays,

Sof xx

The clocks are turning back an hour, and the weather is starting to cool down. While it’s been a busy time, it’s also been quite a cozy month filled with lots of ballet, walks around parks, and many fall activities. I always try and do a seasonal bucket list, but the autumnal ones are my far my favorite kind.

We’re starting with a little solo date day. These are so important to me: both a good confidence challenge that I’ve been working at for a while and a great way to schedule the fun things I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Intentionality is something I value, and I try to give it to myself every once in a while as well.

Central Park is always so lovely this time of the year. It’s the moment right before the leaves start to change, so the greens are still vibrant, but there’s this autumnal haze that makes everything look more golden. It looks like a painting, and it was fun to walk through the park with the intention of taking my time and seeing how beautiful everything was. I always recommend coming to the Cherry Hill area of the park near the Bow Bridge because it’s such a lovely view of the boats, greenery, and architecture.

It's a bit of a random thing, but I’ve really been enjoying watching movies in the morning. It’s better for movies I’ve already watched when I have busier mornings and might need to take breaks in between plans and errands, but it’s been a cozier form of screen time than just scrolling on social media.

This ballet showcase that I am performing at feels like another ballet-related full-circle moment. I realized recently that it’s been 10 years since I’ve danced in any kind of performance. It was definitely a challenging piece; there was a lot of technique I needed to learn and steps to solidify over 5 rehearsals. But I am so glad and honored that I got to be a part of it. This was definitely the highlight of my month and something that has felt really fulfilling.

Thank you for sticking around till the end. This month was filled with a lot, and I hope you enjoyed watching a few of the moments I was able to capture. I hope you are all having a lovely fall, and I will write very soon.

With Love,

Sof

This is a written version of my YouTube vlog to provide an alternate form of sharing my travel diaries. Whether you prefer the visuals, the words, or even both, I am grateful for your time.

Dear Reader,

It’s finally feeling like Fall, and I couldn’t think of a cozier place to spend a lovely autumnal weekend with friends. Welcome to Dublin.

This was my first time seeing Ireland. I didn’t make the trip while I was studying abroad in London, but I had always known I wanted to visit. Actually, growing up, my mom would go to Ireland frequently on work trips, so it’s been a place I’ve been fascinated by for quite a while.

We arrived on a Saturday morning and stayed until Tuesday midday. Autumn was in full swing the weekend we visited. The trees were beautiful shades of orange, gold, and red. We were actually really drawn to how red the ivy on some of the buildings was; it was so striking and pretty to look at. As we had arrived early in the morning, my friend Lylla and I had some time before her friend Emma arrived from England and our check-in time. We stumbled upon this cozy cafe to grab some coffee and headed over to a park we had seen in the cab over.

I want to speak for a second about our intentions, or I guess lack of, for this trip. I usually like to be very detailed in writing out what I want to do, what I want to see on a trip, to make sure I don’t miss anything. If you’ve seen some of my previous videos, I talk about itineraries and planning docs, and all that. And while there were definitely a few things I wanted to do for this trip, for the most part, we didn’t plan anything. And it was perfect. Going into random coffee shops, local pubs, and parks really helped me feel very present and led us to wonderful experiences. For example, when Emma arrived, we walked down to a nearby pub and had the best meal of the trip. It was this lovely roast chicken; everything about this meal was so perfect and just what we needed.

After a very long nap, we got ready for the night and headed into central Dublin. We passed by The Temple Bar, which is a very well-known spot in Dublin. It definitely lit up the streets with the amount of lights on the building, and it was fun to look at. For dinner and drinks, we went to the Bank, which was a stunning bar and restaurant in a former bank. The ceiling and decorations of the place were so intricate and beautiful, it made the experience really nice. They seated us pretty quickly despite not having a reservation, and I tried their soup of the day, which was a sweet potato and ginger soup. I have to say, we had some of the coziest meals on this trip. We ended the night dancing at a random pub we found on the way back that had live music. I didn’t document anything from that, but it was a fun memory from this trip.

One of the things we had actually talked about doing was a day trip to Howth. It’s a nearby seaside town that is known for its cliff walk. But before we head there, we decided to get a light breakfast at a place called Mister Magpie. Another side note, I was surprised by how many magpies there were. I’d never seen so many all at once, but they were all over the city. We took the train to Howth, which was very easy to get there; it was maybe about an hour on the train? And it drops you right by the Harbor area. The previous night, I’d seen that there was a market, so we decided to look around for a little bit before the walk. Found a lot of cute things, from the popular wool sheep keychains to knitwear to rings. It was a relatively small market, but we found a good amount of souvenirs there.

And now we begin our walk. There were a lot of people there, so it’s pretty easy to follow the crowd to get to the trail. There were also a bunch of signs with the different paths you could take. We went the green route since Lylla had done it previously. If you end up doing this, I would say you need to wear a good pair of shoes, but it’s not a huge hike. There are inclined moments and steps at some points, but nothing too intense. It’s definitely a long walk, nonetheless.

After the walk, we headed to the town center for brunch. It was nice to warm up with a cup of tea; it felt very cozy. We headed back to the main part of Dublin to walk around the city for a bit, as we had only really seen it at night the day prior. We went into St. Stephen’s Green, which was such a beautiful park. Kind of reminded me a lot of certain parts of Central Park around the Bow Bridge area. I truly feel like we came at the perfect time with how the trees looked.

Again, didn’t record the end of last night, but we ordered Indian food and watched Zoe Sugg vlogs for the rest of the night. Anyway, today was set to be our shopping day as we all love shopping. But we started with brunch at Eathos. Our next stop was Trinity College. All I could think about here was Normal People. I love that show, I immediately rewatched it when I got home from this trip. The other thing we had talked about doing was the Book of Kells experience, which was very surprising. I love a beautiful library, and this is definitely up there with one of my favorites I’ve seen. The overall experience was very well done. I liked the movie portions where they explained the history of the Book of Kells and the creation of the library.

None of us likes beer, but we felt it was only right to try a Guinness, so we ordered a half pint at a pub. We barely made a dent in it, but it just was not for us.

To end off the night, we went to this vintage cocktail club, which we stumbled across on our first night. You do need a reservation, but it was such an interesting experience. It has an intentionally unassuming exterior, but the inside is sooo gorgeous and cozy. It was a great way to end our final night in Dublin.

We ended with a quick breakfast at another nearby cafe before heading to the airport. I really had the best time on this trip with these girls. It was perfect for the fall time and a very peaceful place. Ireland is a gorgeous place, and I’m so happy I got to see Dublin. Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll write soon.

With Love,

Sof

The only issue with that is sometimes I need to bypass that app limit to finish the video I was just watching, which grants me another 15 minutes. And when that time runs out, I’ve already subconsciously bypassed another app limit reminder or two. And when I’ve finally realized what I’ve done, I move on to a longer form video which I can play in the background as I start a task to be “productive.” And then another video plays, followed by another, and suddenly I can’t remember any of those TikToks I had watched earlier. All those comments, and likes, and podcasts, and thought pieces. So much information just passing in and out of my brain like a subway car rattling through a station.

It’s all to numb myself from the busy day, a way to decompress…right? Of course, I need some time to turn my brain off and scroll for a little. But am I really getting a break?

And what does social media mean when it’s also your job and a passion project? It’s no longer just a form of entertainment, but a place of comparison and research. Words like engagement, trend forecasting, and algorithms become top of mind and blur the lines between work, creativity, and entertainment. Whether you’re a painter, book enthusiast, writer, outfit creator, travel lover, etc., your interest can be put online and monetized. We can all be social media creators and build personal brands, which can be a wonderful way to turn a passion into a career, but at what cost?

I’ve started to realize how draining it is to chase after the algorithm from a creator standpoint. No matter how many times I have said the numbers don’t matter, they still exist and will always have some impact, whether it be positively or negatively. There will always be trends or creative styles that perform better than others at a given time. And it’s fun to take part in the ones you enjoy. But sometimes it’s hard to know whether you are creating something because you genuinely enjoy it or if it’s to get a higher engagement.

And what happens when your personal brand isn’t doing as well as you expected? Maybe you thought more people would connect with your content. Maybe you spent a long while coming up with a concept only for it to do worse than others. Maybe what you expected to go viral didn’t hit the numbers you thought it would. Does that mean it’s a reflection of us—our creativity or our worth? It’s easy to sometimes fall into the trap of measuring your own worth based on the worth people give to your personal brand. You might start wondering if your art is good enough…takes strong enough…outfits bold enough…writing creative enough. Constantly searching for our niches that we fit into can be tiring when not found quickly enough. Or sometimes, what was once a dream, like getting 100 likes on a post, becomes not good enough after we have achieved that and have moved our benchmark of success higher.

Another thing about the algorithms: they are hard to keep up with and sometimes muffle creativity. To be successful, you must post at least once a day on TikTok, once a week on YouTube, post frequently on Instagram, and keep your engagement high on every platform you own. That’s a full-time job. And it brings into question that adage, “quality over quantity.” It’s hard to say you are at your most creative when you are trying to meet quotas. If a creative idea takes longer than a week to execute, should we just simplify it or rush it for the sake of meeting a once-a-week posting schedule? If you aren’t happy with how a video turned out, should you post it anyway to meet your self-imposed daily post requirement or take an extra day or two to mull it over? Are we painting, reading, writing, etc., just for the sake of posting it on social media? It’s hard to know where your intentions will stray after pursuing content creation for a while.

I share all of these thoughts because it is what motivated me to take a break from social media. One week off turned into two, then turned into never moving my apps out of the hidden folder, eventually to deleting Instagram off my phone, and to being more engaged in the present moment.

YouTube is what really surprised me. I had always thought of the platform as more of a streaming service, but I realized how much I was actually comparing myself to and analyzing the creators I watched for the sake of deciding what to do with my own channel. Video after video would drone off in the background as I did various tasks, my mind never really consciously attached to what I was physically doing, and never fully paying attention to the videos playing. There was a point in my life where my YouTube watch time was nearly 23 hours—there was always a video playing in the background as I did my routines, fell asleep, ate, studied, commuted, and nearly everything else.

I found that time off from social media led me to feel less perceived in general. It’s really only been in the last few years that social media has made me feel a lot more seen and analyzed. This could open up a whole other conversation on how people are a lot lonelier these days, as social media has become quite a popular “third space” in our generation. Social media can feel like a stage, one that we can make ourselves walk out onto, and share only the parts of us that we feel are likable.

I want to end by saying I don’t think social media is an inherently bad thing. It allows us to be creative, to connect with more people, to learn and experience more than we would without it. But it is also something that is challenging to let into our lives and affects the way we think. Taking breaks from it and being fully present in your physical life can be a good reset and way to recenter your thinking and priorities.

I don’t expect myself to have super strict rules around my social media usage, but I do find it very helpful to really think about why I am opening one of the apps. When making a conscious decision to go on social media, I find that there is usually something I would rather do than scroll.

I hope something in this letter resonated with you, whether you have taken social media breaks or are considering it. Speak to you soon.

With Love,

Sof

After our five-hour drive, we arrived just in time to check into our lovely Airbnb. I’m so glad we chose this location — it was a gorgeous street lined with moss-covered live oak trees and beautiful homes. It was a 15-minute drive from the downtown area of Charleston, which was the perfect distance to be close to a more residential area that gave us more space and easier access to nearby grocery stores. All of the details in this Airbnb brought in the summery coastal feelings from the tray of seashells in the living room to the picnic table and fire-pit in the backyard. The powder blue bedrooms were so refreshing to wake up in, and the cozy living room downstairs was where my friends and I spent our nights watching a movie and taking personality tests together.

A Nice Dinner At an Old Church

It’s always fun to have at least one nice dinner out with your friends during your vacation. I love all of us getting dressed up and trying a new restaurant together. So after getting settled into the Airbnb, we got ready to head into downtown Charleston for the night.

We went to this restaurant called Church and Union, which is located in a former church. I have to recommend the salmon, it was so good, and I’m trying to figure out how I can recreate it at home.

The Perfect Beach Day

Folly Beach was around a 30-minute drive away from our Airbnb, and was the beach I had seen recommended the most near the Charleston area. So we packed up our beach bags, sunscreen, and food, and made our way to the beach. A day prior, we had decided on booking beach umbrellas and chairs, which was the best idea since it provided us protection from the sun and cooled us down in the heat.

If you are from the South, there’s a good chance you’ve had the lovely pleasure of having a Pub Sub. The Pub Sub is a sandwich from Publix, a grocery store that’s on nearly every street in the Southeast. It made for the perfect lunch at the beach, and we paired it with a cheeseboard of smoked gouda, brie, crackers, almonds, and fruit for a snack later on.

I’d somehow forgotten to bring my book from New York that I was planning on reading, so I borrowed a book from one of my friends. It happened to be a book I had on my list to read for a while: My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. I got about 50 pages in, and I will probably be picking it up again sometime this summer.

Between the pages of a book, listening to a combination of the waves crashing and our road trip playlist, and feeling the warmth of the sun and the breeze of the sea, I was truly so relaxed. A kind of relaxed I haven’t felt in a while since starting my 9-to-5. The only thing on my mind was deciding when to read, when to go into the ocean, and when to have another strawberry.

Cooking Dinner at the Airbnb

I’ve said this many times, but truly, one of my favorite things to do on a trip is to cook dinner with my friends at the Airbnb. It’s such a fun group activity, we get to create our own menu, and it’s a cozy experience altogether.

We made fajitas and had set up a whole spread on the dining table. Everything was delicious, and this was the perfect end to our beach day.

A Day Walking Around Charleston

Charleston is full of beautiful buildings decorated with vibrant greenery, so many small boutiques and stores to look through, and a lovely waterfront area with a pier.

Some highlights and recommendations from our day walking around town—

Rainbow Row: Such a lovely street of colorful row houses with trees and flower boxes decorating the facades. It’s an iconic spot in Charleston, and there were quite a few people gathered in the area taking pictures of the houses.

Shopping on King Street: I believe this is the main shopping road in Charleston. There’s a mixture of unique small businesses and familiar retail stores, but they are all in beautiful storefronts. We went into the Savannah Bee Company, and they had a Charleston honey, which made for the perfect souvenir and gift.

Saturday Farmer’s Market: I love farmer’s markets, and although it was boiling outside, I enjoyed looking through all the vendors who were selling all kinds of things from lemonade to spices, jewelry to baked goods.

The Gin Joint: They offered a really cute concept called the Bartender’s Choice, where you would pick 2 words out of their list, and the bartender would make a special custom drink from those words. The space itself was super cozy and had almost an alchemy aesthetic.

The Pier: We spent a long while on one of the few swinging benches on the pier. It was so relaxing feeling the breeze from the water.

Mills House: This is a hotel we happened to go to twice that day. We started there for brunch at Iron Rose and coincidentally ended up back there for a snack break at The Black Door.

Carmellas: An iconic dessert spot in Charleston. My friends tried a couple of things from there and enjoyed it. The line is long, but I’ve heard their treats are delicious.

Charleston City Market: I believe this is a daily market with some similar vendors to the farmer’s market. It’s a long market hall with so many stalls to look through and maybe grab a souvenir. It is covered and partially cooled, so it’s perfect to escape the summer heat.

Fleet Landing: We tried this dinner spot on the pier, and I enjoyed the food. They had a build-your-own plate option, which I went with and got salmon, mashed potatoes, and green beans. It was really nice to sit outside and look out at the water.

A Final Breakfast Together

Because we had leftovers from the dinner we made the other night, we decided to make breakfast out of it for our final morning. We scraped together the last of the fajitas, made some scrambled eggs, and put together a final cheese board out of the cheese and fruit we had gotten for our picnic.

Having a slow morning together for our final morning was so nice. We weren’t in any rush and were repurposing our leftovers, so we didn’t have unnecessary food waste. It was a good way to end our time at the Airbnb and begin our drive back.

I have to say, I loved this trip so much. It was everything I needed: a relaxing, cozy, beachy weekend with my lovely friends whom I’ve known for so long. We explored the town together, made food together, had deep conversations, and added so many amazing memories to our long friendship. Being able to travel with friends with whom you feel so at home is such a blessing, and I am so grateful for them. And I am so happy we got to experience Charleston together, especially after I’ve been wanting to visit for so long. It is most definitely a place I would love to road trip again to eventually.

There’s more that I vlogged from this trip, in case you are interested in watching:

That’s all for now, though. I’ll write soon <3

With Love,

Sof

Ballet has become an activity that I’ve focused on heavily over the past year, and is the one hobby I’ve been able to hold onto that is entirely for myself and has no other gains from it besides my mental and physical wellbeing. It doesn’t give me money or any other sort of “prize” besides happiness and peace from doing it. But ballet requires time and consistency—two things I haven’t been able to give it for the past couple of months due to my schedule.

I was looking forward to my ballet class today to slow my brain down and focus solely on the combinations. Lo and behold, I hurt my foot 30 minutes into the class. A flood of emotions hit me, flipping between the realization that this is my sign to physically slow down, and disappointment that I am missing yet another class. The disappointment part is a lot to unpack, from the intense self-discipline that ballet ingrained in me when I was younger, and the worry that each missed class means I have lost all the effort and progress I have put in, and made, since starting classes again a year ago. I felt frustrated that the one thing that was supposed to be the thing I did for myself this weekend was being cut short. I didn’t even make it to my favorite part of class. Why did this have to happen now?

But was I really taking time to rest by pushing myself to make it to ballet class? No.

“I’m going to let you make the call and listen to your body” is along the lines of what my teacher told me when she noticed I had stopped doing the combination and was clutching my foot. A part of me hated that the decision was on me. I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped and slowed down until someone else told me to. But I’m glad she said that to me, because that was my time to really show myself that I can understand myself and know what I need.

This also isn’t a situation I’m unfamiliar with. Towards the end of my study abroad, I sprained my foot pretty badly falling down a single stair. (It was quite embarrassing to end up fully horizontal after falling down a single stair, but I’m glad it wasn’t any worse.) I may have taken a couple of days of rest before forcing myself back on my still-injured foot. I didn’t get it checked out, I walked many miles every day, travelled to Paris for 12 hours with no rest time, and continued to put more and more strain on it. The injury lasted for 6 whole months. It was only when I slowed down to get it checked out and take the injury seriously that it fully healed. Really dumb, I know.

So here I am, standing in class as the pain is kind of subsiding, and that high-speed-train part of me is trying to convince myself that I’m ok to keep going. As I pliéd in the next combination, I felt another pop and an even stronger pain at the top of my foot. That was my sign, and I decided to leave. Had my moment of feeling disappointed, then focused on the logical part of my brain that knew there was no alternative. I’ve learned my lesson in the past—now I’ve been given another chance to prove to myself that I can listen to my body.

It’s a small moment and learning from adulthood. We all go through experiences like this where a flashing red light is telling you to pause. Pull the brakes on that train.

Even if sometimes it feels like I can’t change a period of high stress and busyness in life, I can realize that there are some choices I can make mentally and physically to ease the burden. When a lot is going on that I can’t change, I don’t need to do things that add to that. I’ve got to focus on the things that take away stress: reading, relaxing, writing (but more so the word dumping I’m currently doing rather than well-thought-out writing), watching a show—anything that requires minimal mental and physical power.

If you, too, also feel like your mind is a train going so fast it’s close to derailing, know that you can choose to take a step away and do something that puts you at ease. And that could just be sitting down and resting for a little bit. Ballet will always be there. My friendships won’t disappear overnight if I take an extra few hours to respond. Any progress I’ve made on anything won’t come crashing down just because I took some time off. And if there is a dip, who cares, because progress doesn't have to be a straight shot upwards anyway.

A train going too fast and derailing will end up in a crash, and that is definitely not what I want to happen. Even though in the moment it sucks, I know its better than another 6 months of constant injury. This feels like a very early-20s cannon event, and I might find this a bit embarrassing to read later on, but I’m glad I’m documenting it. We could all use a little reminder to listen to what our bodies need and allow ourselves a little compassion.

With love,

Sofia

Also, apologies for the constant train analogy, it’s just how I’ve been describing my feelings lately x

Is there a city calling your name?

A city that appears in your life in the most random ways. A red double-decker bus at a cafe near your old apartment in New York. A suitcase with a London decal stamped on the front at the domestic baggage claim. Maybe you’ve been there, maybe you are from there, maybe it’s a place you dream of. I’ve loved hearing about everyone’s places from the comments on the note I posted above. For me, my place is London.

I know it’s a cliche to talk so much about the place you studied abroad. And I know the city has its many cons. Often, when I express my interest in this city, people have a lot to say about how expensive, crowded, overstimulating, dangerous, and gloomy it is. And while some of those may be true, I believe every place to every one of us has different pros and cons that carry different weights. Maybe it has something to do with rose-colored glasses, but London has too many memories and attachments for me to think of it negatively.

My first real love for the city, and more generally British culture, started like it did for many pre-teens in the early 2010s with the British YouTubers and One Direction. I’m so beyond happy I was surrounded by that growing up. YouTuber collabs were the most exciting thing to come home to after school, One Direction played on the radio every few songs, and Zoella was (is) my role model. While not every aspect of the media I consumed was focused on London specifically, there were so many glimpses of the city that intrigued me enough to put it down as my top option for studying abroad.

The place itself is not necessarily the reason for the excitement and joy it brings me to talk about it. It's the memories, the period of change in myself that coincided, the lessons and growth from living on my own abroad. London was the setting for some of my happiest times in life. Not the cause of it, but the place associated with it. Landing once again in the city for the first time since studying abroad felt like a past version of me was coming alive again.

It was so meaningful to visit all the places I used to frequent. Gail’s was one of my favorite cafes for its presence all over the city and an array of delicious baked goods. It’s also the place I brought the best olive bread I’ve ever had on my first solo picnic in Kensington Gardens. We happened to drive past the building on Bedford Square, where I took my classes and spent time with my friends. The V&A museum, which is to this day my favorite museum. I walked through Notting Hill, the place where I challenged myself to my first solo date ever, a little achievement in my journey to finding peace in my alone time. And all of the buildings I had spent hours sketching for my architecture class.

I felt so lucky we got such lovely, sunny, warm weather on both ends of my Euro summer trip in London. Truly, London is at its finest when the sun is out. It felt like everyone was outside, dressed in their spring outfits. People were biking, dining in outdoor seating, and soaking up the warmth in the parks. Even the one late afternoon shower on one of the days was lovely as we were sitting at Maison Bertaux in their open-air indoor seating, enjoying a cappuccino and scone. I will say, the pollen was outrageous the first weekend. There was a symphony of sneezing all around us during the mid-afternoon hours, and you could see the sheets of pollen raining down from the trees.

There’s a bit of sadness in realizing how much time has passed since I experienced those things for the first time. Thinking back, I was so young and full of adventurous excitement. Now I am older, a bit wiser hopefully, and looking back sentimentally. I see that version of me, coming out of a year and a half of managing her mental health and healing from a breakup. In London, I came back to myself fully. Got over a lot of the pain and started living life again. Everything started looking more beautiful and brighter. And what hosted every memory, every solo adventure, every moment of growth, was London.

It’s more than just a city for me.

I am hoping life takes me back there.

With Love,

Sof xx

“Everything happens for a reason.”

You’ve heard this quote many times before. I truly believe in it, and I’d like to present two reasons you should also. First, you can find proof of this in your life. It lies in my religious beliefs to truly trust in the plan created for me, and that nothing that is meant for me will pass me. But regardless of your beliefs, choosing to think that way helps us not get lost in the what-ifs. Second, why not decide to believe in it for the sake of believing in it? It’s easier to let go of something when we believe what is meant for us can’t miss us. We cannot know whether what we assume to be the best option or outcome truly is the best one. An important point here, and a topic I would like to dive into further, is that thinking in an abundance mindset is a choice we can make.

We are a culmination of all the changes and experiences we go through. Whether it be a life-changing decision or changing up your morning routine, everything has an impact. I love thinking about the butterfly effect (and it’s ironically a topic that came up with my writing group during the creation of this piece.) The butterfly effect refers to the connectivity of everything that happens. The namesake suggests that a butterfly flapping its wings can lead to a hurricane if you connect all the points from the air movement of the wing flapping, developing into the strong winds of a hurricane. Sounds a bit intimidating. And this is where thinking positively plays an important role.

Some say thinking positively is delusional. Yes, it definitely is. But so is thinking negatively. Because we have no idea what our future looks like, we get to decide whether we walk towards it with optimism or fear. Being afraid and worrying is not a wrong feeling. We are programmed to feel those feelings to protect us. But some of the things we want in life require a bit of risk in experiencing unpleasant things. Judgment and embarrassment are usually the two main things we are trying to avoid. In those cases, it’s important to look at who is worth letting down more: yourself or the ones judging you. Positivity is like a muscle that needs constant training to keep it strong. It’s also important not to overwork it and burn out of motivation, or underwork it and lose sight of the good things around us.

Embracing change doesn’t necessarily mean chasing after it. It’s about how we respond to it. How can we utilize that change for the better? Do we mourn what we have lost due to the change, or do we appreciate what we have or will have gained? Neither is necessarily wrong; grief is an entirely valid emotion we all experience at some point in life, big and small. It is also important to know that we are the ones who get to decide how much of the past we ponder on, and how much of the future we give hope to.

Surprisingly, there is slowness in change that can be useful in reflection. We don’t sit and watch a flower bloom, but realize how different it looks over time. That is often the same with ourselves. Large changes or a combination of many small changes will change us. Everything about ourselves is malleable if we allow it to be. That releases a lot of pressure on the idea of who we are because we truly can be whoever we want to be. Change presents us with an opportunity to take note of who we are in the moment and consider if that aligns with who we want to be. I’m also a believer that while our past remains a part of us, it is not entirely who we are. It’s one of those beliefs we must adopt to welcome change and allow for self-compassion.

A few things I like to remind myself of when things are changing:

• I can use as much time as I need to adjust, as long as I am making an effort in my new environment or situation

• Have fun setting new routines. Use this time of change to reflect on what routines work and can be modified.

• Write every reminder down somewhere visible. When we are overwhelmed by newness, it’s easy for things to slip our minds.

• Progress is not linear.

Before I close out, I want to be clear that change is uncomfortable, even for someone who welcomes it for the goodness it brings. To be okay with change doesn't necessarily mean craving it. It’s more about knowing that it is inevitable and we can decide how and when we make it a positive thing. It’s how resilient we can be even when it is hard. Just like nature, we also go through seasons. Sometimes we see it coming, sometimes it arrives all at once.

I’ve created a visual version of this post on my YouTube channel as well :)

My writing visualized on my Youtube:

What even is perfection? I honestly couldn’t even tell you. It seemed like this status that existed just out of reach and had no distinct features. It’s so unachievable, though, because everyone’s idea of “perfect” is different. And I definitely wasn’t trying to achieve my idea of “perfect,” it was always someone else’s. Gaining validation from others was addictive and a type of validation that I gave more weight to than my own. And that became my biggest obstacle.

When you’re so focused on external validation, you’ll start making things up in your brain. I started preemptively assuming what people would think and often came up with the most overly critical reaction someone could have toward me. It was like constantly bracing for the worst or most negative thing to happen. And then that started building a wall in front of me, shooting down ideas out of fear of messing up and being criticized.

Wanting to be perfect ignores our human-ness. Mistakes and things going differently than planned are some of the best experiences to learn from. We either learn how to improve our work and skills or we see that there is something greater out there for us. A key thing I have learned throughout my life from my own experiences and the people I view as successful is that failure is a good thing. I love repeating the quote “rejection is redirection” as a reminder of this. Perfectionism will fail us at some point in our pursuit of it because we are human. We can’t avoid making mistakes or hitting a lull of any sort. It is anxiety-inducing to put all our self-worth into being flawless because we all know that we are capable of messing up.

In the pursuit of perfectionism, control becomes the biggest weapon against human error. We believe if something goes wrong, it is our fault. Maybe we learned this at a young age after spilling something in the kitchen and getting in trouble. Or maybe we received a rejection letter and wondered what we did wrong and what we could have done better. But there are so many things in life that we cannot control. They just happen. And focusing on finding fault in ourselves only goes so far depending on the situation. It is important to understand what we truly do and don’t have control over. If it is something we can control, we can also choose to be compassionate towards ourselves and work on those things without being unnecessarily negative to ourselves. If it isn’t something we can control, we need to let go of it and let it run its course. There isn’t even a lot we can do through worrying over the things we can’t control because we can’t change them.

So how do we let go of being a perfectionist:

• Do it anyway. We all know those things we want to do but think we aren’t capable of achieving our specific vision of it. But if we don’t at least do the thing, it won’t ever exist and we won’t ever get better at it. Any sort of action is a step further than inaction.

• Really think about how you feel about how something you’ve done turned out. It doesn’t matter who said or didn’t say anything. Did I enjoy the process of creating, did I get inspired while creating, what do I think about specific parts of the end product?

• Give yourself constructive criticism. Just like how we see the value of constructive criticism as opposed to blatantly being mean towards other people, we must do the same for ourselves. What is the purpose of dogpiling insults and attacking our character when assessing what we have done or created? How are we supposed to learn if all our energy is put into making ourselves feel bad? Focusing on specific key areas and figuring out what can be done next time to achieve the vision is more effective. It provides actionable solutions to try again next time. When looking at things others have done, look for inspiration, not for ruthless comparison.

• Think positively. Whenever something good happened to me, I worried that it would never happen again. And if something bad happened to me, I would worry that the same or worse would happen again. Simply deciding to flip those scripts around has done wonders. And it is a simple flip because we can’t predict the future. So why not choose to think positively and see the glass as half full? Our thoughts are just thoughts, but our reality is often a reflection of our thoughts. So why not work on making our thoughts positive ones?

• Think abundantly. Why must we think we only have one shot at doing something? Most desires we have are not a one-time thing. Of course, there can be exceptions, but analyze what is the true overall desire or wish. A lot of times, there are multiple ways we can make our dreams successful. Similar to thinking positively, why not think abundantly? First, it removes a lot of pressure from having only one chance. Second, I’ve realized how thinking in abundance can open up a lot more doors than having a very limiting mindset. Use your “what ifs” to be hopeful because you get to control that.

• Truly believe in your resilience. You’d be shocked at how resilient we are. There are things our minds cannot even fathom happening that we are capable of overcoming. The long history and evolution of humankind are proof of that. Believe in and be compassionate to yourself. You cannot hate yourself into being your best self.

I know there are a lot of skeptics when it comes to positive thinking. But why not think positively for the sake of it being more productive than negative thinking? We all keep going and persisting through hard experiences because we have hope that we will overcome them and find happiness again in life.

I also believe that letting go of control and perfectionism doesn’t send you to the opposite end. It just allows for more self-compassion, lets go of the pressure, and opens up creativity. There is room to make mistakes. There are different levels of mistakes, and yet, we can still overcome them. I also believe everything happens for a reason, and everything can be a lesson if you want it to be.

The beauty of releasing control and perfectionism is that we let things be what they are and have an open mind about what things can be.

As I write this, my channel has just over 7,800 subscribers and 146 public videos (not including the many videos hiding away in my archives). To some, 7k is not a monumental number in the creator space, but to me, it is my greatest achievement.

Over the years, I’ve truly trained myself to enjoy my channel as a passion project, not just a numbers game. It is an art form—a way to see and create beautiful things. It allows me a space to pour my creativity into and connect with other people over a visual diary of sorts. Curation is a word I like to use when describing my channel. I’m curating my thoughts, visuals, and life moments into a 10-20 minute video focused on the beauty of life and my thoughts. Never a representation of my life plainly and in full, but a representation of what I find inspiring, beautiful, or meaningful in life.

I’ve tried many different niches on my channel: beauty, fashion, lifestyle vlogs, travel, books, and advice. I’ve both jumped on trends and done something entirely based on my own ideas (which were probably still very influenced by trend cycles). I’ve genuinely had fun creating videos of all various topics but still had the goal in mind to find an area around which I could build a community.

My biggest inspiration and the reason I started my YouTube channel was Zoella, or Zoe Sugg. Her channel, specifically when she started switching her content over to vlogging, was my favorite form of entertainment as a kid. I still, to this day, love watching her vlogs. So many people grew up with her as their role model, and her vlogs felt like a FaceTime call (very parasocial, I know). I genuinely don’t think she even knows how much she has positively impacted so many teens and young adults through her content, but the lovely feelings I’ve experienced watching her content were something I also wanted to provide for others.

To give you an idea of my channel growth over the years, let’s get into a few date stamps:

January 2023: I headed off to my study abroad semester in London (was the location inspired by my obsession with the British vloggers of the early 2010s?…probably). I hit 100 subscribers after I uploaded my "Moving to London” vlog. For the first time, I had real people, other than my wonderfully supportive friends, commenting on my vlogs. It was the first time I felt like I was creating a community of people. I am so beyond happy that I filmed my study abroad experience, not only because it pushed my channel to grow but because I have visual documentation of so many amazing memories.

March 2023: I spent my Spring Break on the Amalfi Coast and in Florence. I uploaded a travel video for both, and the Amalfi Coast video went viral (or at least semi-viral by YouTube standards). The comments kept coming, the views increased by 10 every time I refreshed the page. I hit 1,000 subscribers. Then, I hit 1.5k. This is when I fully felt like I had found my thing. The thing that made me happy and brought in subscribers at the same time.

May/June 2023: Study abroad ended, and I was trying to figure out a way to keep people interested in my videos. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I knew that vlogs were working on my channel and that I preferred creating those to my other forms of content. I didn’t take a plunge and quit my life at home to keep travelling and getting deeper into that niche. I decided to create a “Summer in NYC” vlog series, which didn’t match the numbers of my abroad content, but still people were watching.

June 2024: I vlogged my entire Euro summer grad trip with my friends and released four videos dedicated to each of the cities we visited. I went into posting these with confidence that they would do well because they were based on the Amalfi Coast video from the prior year. And I was right. It hit that same sweet spot of the YouTube algorithm, except this time, I felt that people were resonating with my vlogging style rather than just asking for travel tips. Earlier that year, I had put hitting 5k subscribers on my yearly goals. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but it happened with these videos.

February 2025: My Camogli, Italy video started gaining views again and became my first video to surpass 100k views. I also hit 7.5k subscribers because of this.

YouTube has been a part of my life for a long time. It has been my source of happiness, my creative outlet that is entirely my own. I get to fully be myself on it and feel so much joy from the idea creation to editing videos. It’s something that is new territory for creators and viewers which is exciting. YouTube was a big part in forming who I am today from the ideas and creativity I was exposed to from a young age. Social media can be a scary place, but it is also a place where I finally felt seen as a brown girl and learned what I was passionate about despite growing up with a lot of limitations.

I know it’s not a numbers game, but I’ve spent this whole letter talking about growth and virality. The numbers at the end of the day do matter to an extent, but they don’t define my worth and ability to call myself a YouTuber. I’ve carried a lot of shame and denial around calling myself a “YouTuber,” but Merriam-Webster says nothing about views or subscriber count in its definition. What is important to me is building a community where people can feel inspired to see the beautiful things around us, have discussions about topics we are interested in, and connect with each other through our ideas. The content is what makes someone a YouTuber, not just the numbers.

I’ve recently realized I’ve had a scarcity mindset this whole time. I don’t think I was ever really ready to handle building a community as past versions of myself. I’ve been operating in an “even if no one watches, I’ll still create videos” type of mindset. I’ve indirectly told myself I’m not worth watching by defaulting to that thinking. It’s like planning for failure before giving success a chance. Yes, it is important to do this for myself and derive validation from myself in my creativity, but it is also important to believe I can be interesting to others. I asked myself recently what I think I am capable of in general, and I realized there are a few thoughts that don’t align with my dreams and ambitions for myself. I want to have these goals and visions of my future self and believe I can make them happen.

A few things that made me realize I was in a scarcity mindset:

• If I saw someone post a video around a similar idea I had, I would let go of the idea because it already exists.

  • Everyone has different experiences and perspectives to share. If someone else has had success with an idea, there is still room to share your personal thoughts as well.

• A newer/recently created channel was able to form a community so quickly, which made me feel like I’d missed my opportunity already

  • Someone else’s success doesn’t mean there isn’t any more room or chance for it to happen to you, too. Also, I believe you can never miss out on what is meant for you.

• If a video didn’t do as well as I thought it would, I’d consider it a failed idea

  • What if these ideas are building you to where you need to be? Any practice is a form of guidance in creativity. Also, who knows if a video could randomly be pushed by the algorithm later down the line? Maybe one person who viewed the video was able to resonate with it or enjoy it.

• I was always thinking small

  • I’m not sure I was ready in the past to handle a bigger subscriber base. Did I completely understand what it meant to cultivate a community with a large group of people? Was I good within myself to handle the inevitable criticism and hate that comes with sharing parts of yourself online? Did I truly believe I was worthy of people’s attention?

  • Another thing I’ve been seeing discussions around is that women aren’t encouraged enough to be loud about our achievements. I understand we shouldn’t put all of our worth in our achievements or overvalue them, but as a woman, I think it is really important to express your happiness and pride for the things that evoke those feelings inside of you. And we all need to celebrate one another because no one’s success impedes on your own.

Even now, after realizing all of this, it’s still hard to change these ways of thinking. It will change eventually; I truly believe that being aware of things is the biggest step in enacting a change within oneself. I’m going to put myself and my channel out there. This is one of the ways I’m doing it. I’m also posting all of my videos I release on my Instagram, not just the ones I think are good enough to show to people who know me. It’s always been hard for me to allow myself to take up space, but it’s something that I’m changing.

So here I am. I am officially stating that I am on the road to 10k subscribers. If you’d like to take a look at my content and subscribe to join along on my little journey, you can find my channel here.

The Key to Friendship is Showing Up

As a teen, it felt like there were so many social hierarchies at school, and the clique culture wasn’t as welcoming. Combining that with a boatload of social anxiety and a quiet nature meant I wasn’t much of a social butterfly. I had my groups of friends, but I also carried a lot of anxiety about whether I was good enough to be friends with. Was I interesting enough to hang around? Did my friends care about me as much as I cared about them? If I do everything for the benefit of my friend, even if it is to my detriment, will that get them to value me?

As an adult, no one has time for friendships. Everyone is busy, whether it’s long work hours or mismatched schedules. I’m too busy to worry about how many friends I have. I simply don’t have the time to overthink my friendships or be analytical of my value as a friend. It’s nice, in a way, because friendships become something more meaningful and fun when you stop caring so much about the social status aspect of it. Detachment, the act of separating yourself from a situation you cannot entirely control, has been so helpful to me in setting boundaries for myself within friendships. It helped me overcome a lot of my people-pleasing tendencies towards the people I love because to be worthy of love from someone is not to mold yourself into something they would like. It is so wonderful that we can be loved and cared about while being our authentic selves, despite us all being different from one another.

I’ve come to realize friendships really are about showing up for one another. And it’s something that, in a perfect world, would be easy. But being there and showing up for our friends is supposed to be inconvenient and require effort; it’s an act of care to the people you love. I recently saw a comment on TikTok (I wish I saved it, but it’s buried in the depths of my watch history), and it was something along the lines of “Friendship can be an inconvenience, but the price of convenience is loneliness.” It stuck with me because I’ve recently been seeing a lot of conflicting messages on social media around friendships and the relationship you have with yourself and others. Yes, it is important to prioritize yourself and make sure you are surrounded by people who respect and inspire you to be your best self. But we shouldn’t hold everyone we meet to unrealistic and unfair expectations because we don’t fully know the other person’s experience. If they take a while to respond to your text, it doesn’t automatically mean they hate you. If they have to cancel plans one time, it’s not fair for us to assume they are flaky.

This Substack post also exists in a video format! Watch me bake a birthday cake for a friend of mine while I narrate my writing:

I’ve been thinking a lot about the way we show up for each other and all the different ways we can do that. It can look different across all of the relationships we have and also within certain relationships over time as we get older and life changes. There isn’t necessarily a right way to show up for someone; it’s more of a match between what you like to give and what the people around you like to receive and vice versa. For example, someone who likes throwing surprises wouldn’t throw a huge surprise party for their friend who hates being surprised. Someone who doesn’t like planning might try and put in the effort to make birthday dinner reservations for their partner who loves receiving acts of service. We can’t force ourselves or another person to be inauthentic, but we can work together to see how our interests and differences fit together.

If someone doesn’t match your energy in a friendship, it doesn’t mean you are unlovable; it means they don’t have the capability or emotional bandwidth to meet your needs. What someone does or doesn’t do to you is often more of a reflection on themselves and what is going on in their life versus you being unlovable. And never give up hope that there are people who will show up for you—there are literally billions of people on this planet.

Balancing Individualism and Collectivism

There is a larger discussion at play around our relationships with others about how individualist vs community-oriented we should be. I grew up in a Western culture, which tends to lean more towards individualism: You are the only person guaranteed to be in your life, focus on your personal dreams and ambitions, cut people out of your life if they are of no service to you. I also descend from an Eastern culture, where family and community are prioritized: Family comes first, you must make your family proud, lean on your community in times of need. For me, I’ve found there are aspects of both that I like and dislike, so I’ve made an effort to blend the two. With different backgrounds and experiences, we all have varying measures of individualism and collectivism across different areas of life. When can we lean on others, and when can we stand on our own feet? And how can we allow for those to feel balanced?

I think it is important to know how to be ok with being alone at times and prioritize self-validation and self-love. We also need to know how to trust and rely on the right people in life and experience love and support from external sources. It doesn’t have to be an either-or, but it’s not an easy thing to find a balance. It takes a lot of healing and internal work to feel good about yourself (saving the talk on self-love for another day). Sometimes, we go through experiences that hurt our trust in other people. When we think about our experiences with others, it is important to remember that one bad interaction with someone doesn’t mean every future experience with someone new will end badly as well. Easier said than done since our minds go into self-defense after we experience something unexpectedly unpleasant. I try to remind myself that that is just my mind trying to protect me. I’ve found many times I default into worrying about things going wrong. But what if they go right?

Making Friends Post-Grad

So, how do we make friends as adults? What if I recommend looking back to when we were younger? Before the social anxiety started building and before we realized there were politics in school friendships. We can jump back to that playground. I refer to that playground because I have a memory from when I was in 2nd grade and me and a friend were walking up a hill on a playground, realizing that next year we would be 1 of the 10 kids continuing to the next school year at our wacky little school (a story for another time). I turned to her and said something like, “We are going to be best friends next year.” We’ve now been childhood best friends for around 16 years. It’s been that long because we keep showing up for each other, even when we would only see one another twice a year in middle school, even when we went to rival high schools, and even when we went to college in different states. Our friendship has grown into a sisterhood at this point, but it started with us simply showing up.

I do want to say that I know how debilitating social anxiety can be, especially as someone who does more listening than talking in group situations. There were points when I couldn’t even leave the car to enter public spaces where I feared other people perceiving me. It is possible to overcome that. It can take small, minuscule steps, but anyone can get there. I see it all over social media, people sharing their journeys with overcoming any form of social anxiety.

Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve found adult friendships to be a lot easier. The social status and hierarchies created around friendships in school don’t matter in the real world. It is freeing to be yourself in a world that tries to get us all to think in the same way. People carry unique stories and perspectives with them, which are so interesting to learn about. You aren’t limited to your age group in terms of who you meet and socialize with. The people you meet through your hobbies or volunteering or clubs have no idea who you are. They didn’t see you at school, going through teenagehood and figuring yourself out at that age. They don’t know whether you were the kid who never raised their hand in class or if you were liked or bullied by your peers. You get to be the person you are and the version of yourself you strive to be. What helped me, above all, was realizing that making a friend is not about catering to the other person’s interests. It’s not all about how the other person sees you but if you both work well together in a friendship.

A few last reminders I want to leave you with:

1. Friendships do not define your worth; believing in your worth will bring you the right friendships.

2. It isn’t all that serious: compliment someone, comment on a shared experience, offer a smile.

3. You are worthy of taking up space in someone’s life; if they can’t offer you friendship in a way that you need, someone else will and will want to.

4. We don’t have access to other people’s brains, so there’s no use in trying to analyze situations when we don’t know the other person’s full experience.

5. We can choose to be kind and gracious and still understand our worth.

6. Some friendships will come and go, and that is perfectly ok.

7. We don’t have to be liked by everyone.

Visually illustrated letter:

As someone who wasn’t a stranger to depression and anxiety growing up, a lot of my healing journey was essentially a pursuit to find happiness. But what even is happiness? I’m sure the poets and philosophers throughout history can all give us variations of the same answer. And while I spent a lot of my life struggling to analyze those interpretations and scrutinize the feeling of happiness under a microscope, I eventually realized that it’s quite simple: it’s simply an emotion.

My dad frequently told me to just be happy when I was younger. I hated hearing that because it felt like I was erasing everything else I was dealing with. As if to acknowledge what I was going through, I was only allowed to ever feel negative emotions. And while I do still feel like there is a dismissive aspect to “just being happy,” it’s not entirely wrong. Once I truly started paying attention to what was around me and acknowledging the simplest of pleasures in life, I was able to reset my bar for gratitude which brought about happy feelings.

I think sometimes we conflate happiness with that euphoric feeling we sometimes experience while on vacation, laughing with friends or achieving something. For me personally, I think it was because sadness was something I felt so deeply so I assumed it’s opposite had to be equally as intense in the opposite direction. But that is not all there is to happiness. Sometimes happiness is being at peace. Because being at peace is nice, and when I feel good I am happy. It can be something impromptu like deciding to go for a short walk outside or routine like taking the time to make my matcha before the workday.

Happiness is fleeting which can feel defeating but it’s also a beautiful thing. We would not value happiness to the same extent if we only ever experienced it. A person who can buy a loaf of bread whenever they’d like most likely won’t have the same gratitude for that ability as someone struggling to afford food. Acknowledging the things we have in our lives, even if we have them consistently throughout our lives, gives us the awareness of how wonderful our lives actually are. We take so much for granted, and we should feel deserving of the things we do have, but we should ground ourselves in the reality we are experiencing. There is always more to achieve and more to dream, but we cannot get too lost beyond the present.

Happiness lives in the present. We cannot wait to be happy, nor should we decide if we are allowed to be happy based on the past. Like I said earlier, happiness is an emotion. There are things we can imagine in the future that we think will make us happy, but we really don’t know the full truth of that. I often tend to forget about the mundane, sometimes not exciting parts of our lives. I forget that everyone, no matter how successful I think they might be, has their own set of problems and things they are working through. And in the past, we sometimes look back with rose-colored glasses. It is so easy to be nostalgic for the good parts of the past and compare only those moments to our current situation. As I am overcoming certain situations, I think of them differently. After the fact, I have proof and can trust it was possible to get through it while before the fact, I probably thought it was impossible.

A lot of times, we might put our happiness into external things: food, trips, experiences, people, vices, and careers. I recently heard the saying: “we all have a bunch of problems until we have a health issue; then we have one.” We put so much of our value into things we cannot control or guarantee will always be around. We forget that who we are stripped down from all those things is still worthy and capable of experiencing happiness. We truly are our only strongest companion in life, and that is not to say that we should not value external things at all. Just that we need to be able to source happiness from within.

Happiness and being in a state of peace don’t eliminate or minimize the feeling of sadness. Happiness only exists because sadness exists—we know how good happiness feels because we have also felt sadness. Feeling a negative emotion isn’t a bad thing unless we are keeping it around for too long. Every experience in life evokes a certain emotion for a duration of time, but we need to know when it is time to feel the feeling, and when we should start taking steps to move on. It’s like a balance system between releasing control and not letting yourself be controlled.

All in all, the art of happiness is to just feel it and trust that it will come around because you can decide whether or not you allow it into the present. Happiness can be a multitude of different things and come from many different areas of life. There is no keeper of the gates to feeling the emotion of happiness.

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Note: Sharing this is an interesting and intricate experience for me. I have always been nervous to talk about this because it is a broad topic. Everyone has different experiences with mental health, and sometimes it is hard to feel like your thoughts around it are worth sharing. There are also so many conversations around mental health out there, a lot where people are just fighting with one another about who is right. I feel it is important to understand that there are many different perspectives: personal and professional. It is so important to listen to the people who have studied mental health in detail, and it is important that people can share their personal experiences in the case that someone can relate to them and not feel alone. Basically what I am trying to say is I am not a licensed or certified professional, but someone with a personal experience to share in my healing journey.

Again, please seek professional advice if you are experiencing struggles with mental health. I’m sharing a link to the NIMH website with helpful resources: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help

A small Italian town on the coast, known for its pesto and focaccia…

I present to you: Camogli, Italy.

It’s been almost a year since I visited that town, and I still can’t stop thinking about it. It was the perfect stop on our European Summer grad trip with my friends along the South of France and into Italy.

We were actually intending to visit Portofino, another small Italian town in the same area, but one of my friends came across Camogli in the process. It was a lot less expensive and had considerably fewer tourists compared to the more popular towns in the Liguria region. Equipped with only a few aesthetic TikTok videos and a few blog posts, we journeyed to Camogli with hardly a plan.

The Short Couple of Days in Camogli

I think our lack of a plan and expectations is exactly why we enjoyed the town so much. We went with only a few recommendations and a lot of unknowns to explore. For example, I was not expecting the beautiful salmon and apricot-painted architecture with painted-on facade details (a technique called trompe l’oeil, or “trick/disguise of the eye” as a viewer of my Camogli vlog informed me). From afar, the facades appear as though there are many intricate and beautiful 3-dimensional decorations, but up close, you can see that the effect was constructed using paint on a 2-D surface. What a genius idea to make the buildings appear richer in detail.

The town itself was relatively quiet, and it felt like there was more of a local presence, which I immensely appreciated. When traveling, I prefer to eat at places that are more local and less touristy and my ideal day would be to experience life similar to if I was living there. Don’t get me wrong, I love history and seeing iconic sights, but there’s something special about having a bowl of pesto pasta from the local shop and enjoying it by the sea with my friends. Or walking around the town, popping into the local grocery stores, and buying fruits that taste way better than they do at home.

On our second day, we decided to take the ferry to San Fruttuoso, yet another nearby small town along the coast. It was even smaller than Camogli, which was perfect for spending a morning in. I cannot describe to you how beautiful the water was in real life. It was such a lovely experience to be able to dip my feet in while the sun warmed my face. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a calmer state.

The Food Scene

Now, I need a moment to talk about the food. I’m not even joking around when I say it was the best food I’ve ever tasted. We went to this restaurant called Xodò Osteria, which unfortunately we were only able to make it there once since it was closed the next day. The pasta there was amazing, but the real star of the show was that pistachio tiramisu I mentioned earlier. This might be due to my personal taste because during that time I was obsessed with anything pistachio flavored and had also just decided that tiramisu was my favorite dessert of all time, but genuinely that combination was life-changing. I can’t have sweets anymore for reasons I might share later, but I would break that if I got the chance to try that again.

As I also mentioned earlier, Camogli is also known for its focaccia. The focacciaria we tried was called Ravello which has been a popular Italian bakery for a very long time. It’s right by the beach, so again we got our focaccia flatbreads and a couple of pastries and had them by the beach. A bit of a travel tip as well: find a local bakery that you enjoy and can rely on for a quick breakfast, snack, or travel food.

Again, I mentioned that this region is also known for its pesto—you might have seen Pesto Genovese which originates from another nearby Ligurian town Genoa. Right by Ravello is a place called Pasta Fresca Fiorella which serves fresh pasta. As you wait for your order, you can see back into the kitchen and watch the pasta being rolled out and big vats of the pasta sauces being mixed by hand. The store is more of a take-out style, and again, there seemed to be a good mix of tourists and locals frequenting the place.

Where We Stayed

I believe it was finding the Airbnb we stayed at that pushed us to choose Camogli. It was a cute apartment along the main road that runs through the town. Just down a couple of stairways, we could reach the promenade and beachfront area to the left and the docks to the right. It was quiet, but you could hear the sounds of people conversing by the fruit stand just below us and the ringing of the church bell now and then. Our hosts were also lovely and made sure we were able to settle in properly and gave us recommendations for what to do. I always enjoy staying at a good Airbnb because it helps me feel more immersed in the everyday life of a place. If you ever do visit Camogli here is a link to the Airbnb if you are interested.

Camogli has left an imprint on me and will remain one of my favorite places I’ve visited. The architecture, the food, the culture, and the community were all so lovely to experience and live in for a few days. It was also an eye-opening traveling lesson to be open and try something new and experience it for yourself. Plans can be great to maximize your time, but it is also a wonderful thing to slow down and not have too much structure.

It’s funny because usually when I love something, I want to experience it again. But while I wouldn’t pass up on the opportunity to visit Camogli again if it presented itself to me, I don’t think I would purposefully go out of my way again to go back. I enjoyed my time there and feel grateful I got to experience something like that, but I almost love how experiencing it for the first time and being surprised by how much I enjoyed it lives in my memories. I want to preserve that first time experiencing the town and how magical it felt to be there.

My Camogli Vlog:

Sincerely,

Sof xo

There have been a lot of changes recently in my life that have led me to reflect on how I am approaching and going through my post-grad experience. I feel there wasn’t much content I resonated with regarding how to deal with and make it through this period of my life, so I thought I could share my experiences and thoughts with others who may be looking for post-grad advice now and in the future. There are a few different points I wanted to touch on, so I broke them down in this letter.

The Transition Period

Going from being a student nearly all my life to becoming a working young adult has been quite the change. I still feel that I am in the transition process and I’m not exactly sure if there’s a specific date or event that will make me feel otherwise. I will say, at least within this period, I am becoming more comfortable with the change as time goes on.

Change is not something I have shied away from in the past. I have seen how change allows me to grow as a person and bring wonderful things into my life. Having a balance in the way I think about change has been really helpful in finding comfort and confidence in my routines and daily life, while also being resilient and open to inevitable change. Unfortunately for addressing the transitionary period, I will have to pull out the “time will heal” phrase which sometimes is not the most helpful thing to hear. But if there’s ever a rough patch, I put a little bit of trust in time.

I have been investing in my hobbies and finding new routines. There’s something special about hobbies that feels different than my career, even while I am doing work that I am passionate about. My job as a video editor is creative and a hobby-turned-career, but I also have to work to sustain myself financially. A true hobby doesn’t return anything financial to me. It is pure joy. I am choosing to do my hobbies for enjoyment and it opens another area where I can progress and have achievements and goals outside of my work life.

Letting Go of My Old Self

I feel that the version of myself I was this time last year before I graduated and the version I am now, six months after graduating, are two different people. It was an adjustment, and three months ago, I felt that I was mourning a version of myself that I would never be again while simultaneously feeling uncomfortable in the new lifestyle I was adjusting to.

I think it is fair to say now that I am feeling more comfortable in myself and enjoying all that the change has brought to me. I feel more mature and confident in myself and the things I enjoy. I view the version of me that I was last year positively, but am also happy with who I am and strive to be now. I don’t feel the pressure to be anything other than myself, which is different from when I was a student.

Actively Practicing Gratitude

Gratitude, and actively practicing gratitude, are very powerful. It is also something that can be easily forgotten or pushed aside, which is something I experienced recently. Not that I was ungrateful for all that I had in life, but I became so hyperfocused on what was missing from my life. There were things I wanted to do and be, but sometimes I wasn’t successful in meeting my expectations. I started seeing my entire current situation in a negative light, always noticing what was wrong with it and ignoring the fact that I was quite literally achieving some of my childhood dreams.

When reflecting on being 3 months post-grad, I noticed that there was a disconnect in realizing I was achieving big dreams and goals of my younger self, and not feeling as happy as I assumed I would have been. I was confused as to why, but I was also not able to feel happy about that achievement because I was picking at the tiny details of that dream or attacking myself for not reaching another unrelated goal I thought I should have reached by that point. I was acknowledging that I had reached a goal of mine, but letting the negative feelings weigh more than the positive ones.

I also want to add that gratitude is not all about only acknowledging the positive things that happen to us and ignoring all the bad or neutral things. To be grateful for something is not to smile through everything and ignore any bad emotions. Also, not every event is equal in ease of being grateful for. Bad things can happen, tough times exist for everyone, and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for feeling sadness or any other negative emotion. The most important takeaway I have had regarding practicing gratitude is that there is always a positive thing that exists in our lives, whether it is something as small as feeling sunlight on your face or something as big as reaching a life goal.

More Time in My Days

I spent a lot of my life telling myself that one day I would have the time to pursue all my passions and hobbies. Well, that time is now apparently. I’m in my early 20s, and my post-grad freedom means I am in charge of a lot of my life and happiness now, and my responsibilities are minimal. I could choose to spend all that time scrolling on my phone, which I do want to clarify social media and phones aren’t an inherently bad thing, but there are so many fun and engaging things I can also do. Things that I will probably feel more fulfilled by such as going to ballet class, reading for fun, or volunteering.

The time truly is now to do those things. There is no perfect moment to start a new hobby. We will always have some amount of responsibilities and feel busy in life, and sometimes we get comfortable with pushing something off. I’ve seen a lot of conversations on social media about making the most of your 20s: finding yourself, making mistakes, trying out things that bring you happiness. There is also a lot of content on social media warning people in their 20s to not mess up this decade, which can be a bit daunting, but also a good reminder that we get to choose how to fill up our time.

Quotes & Mantras

“Change is not linear”. It’s a phrase I’ve been hearing everywhere, yet it’s so easy to forget in the moment of mistakes and failure. Feeling like you are regressing or further behind than you previously were is not a pleasant feeling. But feelings are not facts. If you look up “change is not linear” you will probably come across the graph that illustrates the phrase. Even if you falter in your plans or expectations, time continues and there is always room for progress. Also, who are we to know what the best possible option would have been? If something doesn’t happen, we cannot entirely be sure it would have been better or worse than what we are currently experiencing. We are allowed to feel sad or disheartened by messing up, but we should have the strength to feel it and let it go when it is time.

“Good things are coming, and are here”. For years I have centered myself around the “good things are coming” quote because it evokes hope and sparks motivation. But it ignores the fact that I am constantly looking to and chasing after the future and this perfect life I think I’ll have eventually. Only, when that “eventually” moment is reached, it doesn’t feel as exciting as I imagined. People do not exist without problems and our happy moments can also coexist with everyday and not-so-happy moments. I felt that when I lost sight of enjoying the present—being grateful for the things I have and had—I was never truly satisfied. It ties right back into gratitude and acknowledging all of the lovely things that already exist around us.

Overall, post-grad has been an adjustment, but I am finding this new period of life to be filled with many wonderful things. Before I leave you, I do want to mention that the beauty of post-grad life is that it looks different for everyone. There is no one right way to live our lives and no plan we need to compare ourselves to. Thank you for reading, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Sof xo

I hope something within this letter was resonating. I’ve shared the thoughts I’ve been having recently in my recent YouTube video if you prefer a visual format. 

Now, I’m not an expert…

My experience with traveling and planning trips myself started when I studied abroad in London. I had not seen much of Europe before that, which made it slightly terrifying to be the one planning trips, but I always knew I wanted to travel a lot in my 20s. After much research and going on a few different trips, including my most recent grad trip, I have gathered a few travel planning tips for certain parts of Europe that I think might be helpful to some.

I also want to add a little disclaimer: there is no single way you should travel. People have different processes, and they can have successful trips based on their individual preferences in many different ways. I love planning, so this is what works for me. It helps if you have a planner or two in your travel group who likes organization to follow the travel tips my group used to plan.

Anyway, let’s get into everything!

A Bit About My Budgeting

We spent roughly around $2,600 for our trip last summer which was 2 weeks of travel and covered 4 (technically 5) bases/cities. This was our grad trip and the first Euro Summer trip I did with this specific group, which played a role in the amount we spent.

A breakdown of my costs:

• Round-trip international flight - $1,038.90

• Stays

  • Paris (round 1, 2 nights) - $204.36

  • Nice (4 nights) - $213.71

  • Camogli (2 nights) - $90.53

  • Florence (3 nights) - $236.84

  • Paris (round 2, 2 nights) - $138.34

• Internal Europe transportation

  • Paris to Nice train - $124.52

  • Nice to Camogli train - $31.47

  • Camogli to Florence train - $24.79

  • Florence to Paris flight - $187.60

• Food & Drink (estimate) - $275.31

• Ubers & Taxis - $80.62

• Shopping (estimate) - $185.86

• Miscellaneous - $53.65

A few money-saving tips:

• LOVED going to local grocery stores and making food from local ingredients

• Share meals (if allowed) to try more things and save money

One final note: I recommend downloading Splitwise if you are booking your travel, accommodations, and other expenses with a group. You can create a group to add all your expenses, who paid for what, who was involved in the purchase, etc. and it will consolidate all the costs so that at the end of your trip, you can just pay each other once.

Keeping Organized

If you are anything like me, this might be the fun part of planning a trip for you. I love anything to do with organizing my things and I will find any excuse to create a Google Doc full of all the information I could ever need to plan an event or trip.

Even if you aren’t big on planning and organizing, I think it might be helpful just to have all of your flights, accommodations, things to do, and budget all easily accessible and in one place. Especially when it comes to visiting another country, having your things together can be extremely helpful in case something goes wrong.

Here is a template I created of my travel doc!

To start a travel doc, it is helpful to build out the following categories:

• Budget/Expense Tracker - link this out to a Google Sheet/Excel

• Flights - international & any planes, trains, or other pre-planned transportation within your travels

  • I use Trainline, Omio, and Google Flights for transportation within!

  • Also, make sure to research Ubers, taxis, & public transit to determine how you will get around when there!

• Travel Calendar - only necessary if you are traveling within your destination/are planning on taking day trips

• Accommodations - look for Airbnb’s, hotels, hostels, whatever you are comfortable with

  • I usually check Airbnb and booking.com for stays!

  • Hostels are a popular choice for some when traveling Europe. It is a great way to meet new people, but be aware that you might be sharing space with people outside of your group.

  • It really depends on your personal preferences and priorities while traveling to decide on what type of accommodation best suits you.

• Things to Do - I’ll explain this in the next section…

Share this doc with anyone you are traveling with, because this doc is also helpful when planning to keep all research & options all in one place that everyone can look at. For reference, it took my group around 7-8 planning sessions to get everything figured out through this doc. This might seem like a lot, and the first few meetings felt like we were barely getting anywhere, but these sessions were the entire reason our trip became a reality.

The Fun Part

What really is important here is figuring out what type of traveling you and your group, if you are going with one, are most interested in. Are you more interested in history? Do you want to explore the food? Are you a relax-at-the-beach or a go-on-a-hike type of person? Or both? Make sure your group is aligned on this, or at least you can split off into smaller groups to satisfy everyone’s bucket list. Also, it is essential to be flexible here. Maybe you don’t like history but might enjoy a specific museum. You may be more of a night-in than a night-out person, but what if you have a fun night dancing with your friends? Something I have found that I prefer is spending time with my friends and experiencing something together rather than having things go exactly the way I think I’d like.

Despite being a planner, I am fully against creating an hour-by-hour strict itinerary. Like I said, be open to things changing and experiencing things that might be out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, the best meals you have are from restaurants you stumble upon. My favorite city from my grad trip was where we had the fewest recommendations before going.

Sticking too closely to a plan can sometimes make your experience of them unenjoyable. Think of a plan as a fall-back/easy option rather than a checklist. But still, make one because there are instances where you might be too tired or hungry to find a dinner place or something you want to do or see that inspired your trip.

Add a “Things to Do” section on your planning doc and think about including the following for each place you visit:

• Food spots - separate by breakfast/brunch, lunch/dinner, sweet treats, snacks

• Shopping - if you plan on it

• Things to See

• Nightlife - once again if you plan on it

• Etc.

This part of planning is entirely based on your interests, so set it up however you like. I just recommend getting every bucket list item everyone would like to do. And remember… it’s not a checklist.

Right Before You Go

A few weeks before going on your trip, I recommend figuring out your packing list and any important info you would like to travel with.

For packing:

• Make sure you have the right adapters for where you are going.

• Have all your medications and a mini first aid kit sorted out for the duration of your trip. Traveling with what you know is better than figuring out unfamiliar medication.

• Plan out your outfits.

  • Consider a capsule wardrobe to mix and match different clothing pieces

  • Figure out if you have the option of doing laundry

• Will you have to carry your luggage up staircases or lug it around on transportation? Are you traveling on airlines that have smaller suitcase allowances during your vacation?

  • For example, the Amalfi Coast was rough even with just a carry-on because of all the stairs.

  • Also, European budget airlines can be very strict about luggage sizes, and a U.S. carry-on is typically bigger than a European carry-on.

This next part isn’t super fun to make, but it gives you a fall-back plan in case something goes wrong.

Important Info to Save on Your Phone:

• Scans of your passport and ID

• Numbers and addresses of embassies, emergency contacts, etc.

• Language basics, if different from yours - greetings, how to order/purchase, a list of essential phrases, etc.

And That’s About It!

As I’ve said, witnessing the beauty of places is one of my favorite parts of traveling. My travel videos on YouTube showcase how my travel plans lead to the best trips. Check them out if you’re interested:

Watch My Travel Diaries

Soon, I’ll release my travel guides with all my specific recommendations and fun things to do from the places I’ve visited.