The Lost Art of Questions

Justin P — Tue, 04 Aug 2026 06:19:11 GMT

There’s only been a handful of times in my life where I felt someone truly knew me. In a way, I feel knowing someone isn’t as common as most people believe and I mean knowing more than a birthday, favorite color, or a song they really like. Actually understanding who that person is and what makes them the way they are. Now the process of getting there is what’s tricky, we have to ask questions sometimes uncomfortable ones just to get answers most people won’t, yet I feel its necessary we do. I’ve found it’s a lot easier to be distracted by one’s compliments rather than questions. They can be used to form this false sense of intimacy, whether that is love bombing or just a constant plethora of words we want to hear. However, truly thinking about meaningful questions that go beyond “wyd?'“, “how was your day?”, they don’t happen as often. Now many people could say this is because of the fear of being vulnerable or even how scary it can be inviting someone into that space but then that begs the questions “How can we feel anything at all if there’s no depth?”. The genuine feeling of wanting to know and understand someone needs to be further explored, even encouraged nowadays. The false sense of connection feels to common when on an intellectual level you feel distant with the people around you. That being said, distance is what provides you the feeling of being alone, the feeling that despite everyone being around you, no one can actually see you. Furthermore, this transcends into isolation, solitude and simply refusing to attempt forming connections with people. It’s almost like the world never fully recovered from Covid-19 and quarantine on an emotional level. Everything feeling easier through a screen or temporary interaction. The biggest problem is that all of these issues lead people further astray. How can anyone feel anything quite frankly for people when they don’t know what it’s like to be seen or heard. That feeling of wanting to disappear, is really the hope to be found. It’s easy to lie to yourself and say you’re better off alone but it’s not always the case. Maybe the solitude can comfort you and yes there are times it’s needed but we have to make sure it’s not a home. Only a place of healing and restoration, not a long term place we reside it. The idea that being alone is your only solution is what’s plagued the mind of so many people. The propaganda used by social media, dictating how you should feel and what it means when people treat you a certain way has only offered a negative influence, and we see that proof everyday. There’s a large emotional disconnect with the world and it will only make connecting with people harder in the future. So what do we do? We can start by doing things with intention. Yes I know It sounds simple but actually doing these things because you want to, from a place of authenticity as well is just as important. Talking to people can be this opportunity of growth as soon as we put our pride aside and actually attempt to connect with this person. We’ll need much more than mere attraction or status to feel something beyond a superficial level and that starts with understanding their being. Ask better questions, now you don’t have to be a journalist or make every interaction feel like an interview but there’s a lot of answers behind peoples eyes that can be told. Things that truly matter, you’d be surprised at the reaction you get from asking people “When’s the last time you felt happy/sad?”. Something even as simple as that can spark so much emotion and real depth from someone which is meant to be explored. As soon as we take ourself down to a level of being okay with someone seeing us for who we are, intimacy is the only real thing we will experience. Ask questions, be curious, and if you truly want to know someone, show it. There’s no reward in hiding yourself and emotions from the world because when we do this it only makes it harder for the people meant for us to actually find us. The very real change that can happen starts with us. You can be the reason people don’t feel as lonely if you take the time to actually learn them. The lost appreciation for connection on that level must be restored if we want more from people. Become curious, align yourself with understanding, zero judgement, and watch as connections blossom. We can connect with anything when we are okay with understanding everything.

Justin Pringle

The Lost Art of Questions