So here we are, another month down already! It was without a doubt my favourite month of the year so far, and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way about July before. There was just a lot of really great stuff, and it was also the month I felt fully alive again after my big burnout at the start of the year.

I sometimes wonder if these posts are at all useful, or if they’re a bit narcissistic, but I’m keeping going with them - a) because I reckon some of you might be as nosey as I am (I love reading these sort of posts on other people’s Substacks!) and because b) I take such value from writing them and processing the month and life in general as I do.

So here goes - 10 little joys from July and a joyful to-do list for August…

10 little joys from July

1) The garden in all her glory

The garden was first on my list of June joys, little did I know then how much better it was going to get in July! All of my dahlias have flowered! I’ve harvested my first courgettes! The cosmos apricottas bloomed! My tomatoes have started turning red! An unexpected beautiful pink lily bloomed (I think the previous owners of our house must have left it) and it filled the garden with the most amazing smell! Honestly, being in the garden and watching all of the changes in the raised bed this month has felt like the closest to magic you can get, and I have loved it.

2) Two amazing festivals

This month I was lucky enough to visit not one but two amazing festivals. The first was Summer Camp at the beautiful Hawarden Estate in North Wales. I was there to deliver a workshop on The Power of Positivity, and we had the most amazing weekend meeting interesting people, eating incredible food and soaking up our surroundings. Then last weekend we headed to Deer Shed festival in North Yorkshire. It was our first festival with both kids in tow and I was definitely apprehensive, but we had an amazing time. Both weekends reminded me how much both culture and nature positively benefit my wellbeing.

3) Our Perfect Storm by Carley Fortune

I devoured this one weekend while nap-trapped under a poorly baby and it was exactly the escapism I needed. Romance, adventure, personal growth - it felt like a mini holiday without needing to leave my sofa. This would be a good one to pack for a bit of a brain switch off if you’re going on hols in August.

4) Starting a summer journal

I used to love keeping little journals every summer when I was younger, and this month I thought why not do it again? I treated myself to a nice notebook and have been filling it with memorabilia, mini collages, journal entries and gratitude lists, and I’ve been having so much fun! It’s been a lovely way to process all of the lovely stuff happening this summer and I know I’ll love looking back at it in years to come.

5) Loads of live music

I love how much opportunity there is to enjoy live music throughout the summer and I have been milking it this month! I went to see Wet Leg play in Millenium Square in Leeds with one of my best pals which was so much fun, and then at the festival last weekend I loved watching Joshua Idehen and Getdown Services - two very different sets, but both inspired so much joy in their own way.

6) British berries

I don’t have an awful lot to write about this one, but bloody hell, British berries are great at this time of year, aren’t they? I can’t get enough.

7) Loads of time outside

Between festivals, park trips and all that time in the garden, I have averaged about 7.5 hours a day outside this month and I feel bloody brilliant for it. I’m dreading the shorter days and cooler temperatures if I’m really honest, but I’m already trying to brainstorm ways that I can keep my outdoor time high even as we creep closer to autumn - I’m all ears if you have any ideas!

8) Some fun work opportunities

I got to do some really fun stuff for work this month - facilitating a workshop at a festival, giving keynote speeches at a university, planning fun events for the autumn and working with some lovely new coaching clients. I was also invited on my first international work trip to speak about my book, The Hustle Cure, at Zurich book festival later this year, which feels like such a big milestone. Feeling super grateful for my job at the moment!

9) Swimming outside

July brought my first outdoor swim of the year - a little bit later than I’d have liked, but absolutely worth the wait! I adore swimming outside and am feeling hopeful that I’ll be able to get plenty more in when we visit North Wales next month.

10) The ages and stages my kids are at

I’ve been pretty honest with anyone who’s asked that I have found going from 1 to 2 kids pretty humbling, but dare I say it, this month it has all started to feel a little bit easier. My kids have really started playing together now, they’ve loved all of the adventures we’ve been having together and I have been feeling so lucky for this little family of mine.

A joyful to-do list for August

Send a postcard

It’s rare that we receive post that isn’t a bill these days, so why not spread a little joy with a postcard? You can pick them up in most stationery shops, so even if you’re not going away you can still tick this one off the list.

Think about how you want to feel in September

And plan your month accordingly! For example, if you want to feel calm when September rolls around, what can you do to facilitate that feeling? Personally, I’m hoping to feel much more organised, and so I’ll be focusing a bit of time on decluttering and getting my diary up to date before the busy season kicks in.

Buy yourself some sunflowers

They’re the most cheerful of all the flowers, and you can currently pick a bunch up for a few quid in most supermarkets. I’m also going to try and visit our local RHS gardens this month as they always have a stunning sunflower display.

Take some time off

Everything tends to slow down a bit in August, so why not take the opportunity to take some time off? Even a day of slowing down will help you to rest and recharge ahead of autumn.

Spend some time by the water

Whether it’s the sea, a lake, a river or a canal, try to spend some time by the water this month. Research shows that spending time in so called “blue spaces” is beneficial for both our mental and physical health. And if you like swimming, the sea and lakes here in the UK are probably at the warmest they’ll reach before the temperature starts to dip.

Savour the bank holiday

Here in the UK, August brings the last bank holiday until Christmas! Make a plan to really make the most of it - even if that’s simply by giving yourself permission to enjoy a day of chilling out.

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What have been your highlights of July? And what are you looking forward to in August?

I have never been a huge fan of July.

I always put it down to the fact that I don’t really love summer. I know, I know, that will sound sacrilegious to some of you reading, but it’s true. It’s the transitional seasons that do it for me - the hopeful optimism of spring, with the light returning and the first buds flowering, and the cosy, bookishness of autumn, with its golden days and permission slips to slow down.

Since having kids (and learning to garden!) I have come to enjoy summer much more. I have spent the season so far enjoying al fresco dinners in the garden, taking my little ones to the park at every opportunity, delighting in the dahlias and cosmos and courgettes that all seem to be thriving in my raised bed. I have been wearing the shorts and filling the freezer with ice creams and generally having a very lovely, very summery time.

So I was surprised last week, when I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest. The sun was shining, I had a really fun weekend planned, I had no reason at all to be sad, and yet, I was. There was a tinge of grief to the sadness, a real sense of heartache-y-ness that I couldn’t connect to anything in particular. And then I remembered - I always feel this way in July.

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I work with a lot of women who are seeking happiness. They show up to our coaching sessions and tell me that they have everything they ever wanted - beautiful families, cosy homes, careers full of success and validation, healthy bodies, great friends - and, yet. They don’t feel happy. They don’t experience much joy. They feel like life is kinda passing them by.

Often, the women I work with are over-achievers, good girls, people pleasers. They have built the lives they have through effort, through control, through discipline, through to-do lists. And so, they treat their quest for happiness like just another project. They read the books. They listen to the podcasts. They attend the courses. They dutifully fill their calendars with things that they think will make them happy. They put the effort in, and then feel frustrated when they don’t feel any different.

Here’s the thing: those women don’t need more things to do. They need more opportunities to feel alive.

Often, the busier we get, the more our senses are dulled. Life becomes one long to-do list: put the laundry away, send that email, do the food shop, order the kids some new shoes, go to that meeting, write that birthday card, go for a run. And on, and on, and on, and on. The list is never done. In fact, sometimes it feels like it is exponentially growing, with every task ticked off being replaced with two or three more.

In the busyness of doing, we lose our sense of awe. We forget to wonder, to be curious about things. We start to believe that we have done all of our learning. Duty replaces creativity, expectation replaces possibility, productivity replaces passion. There is momentum - we achieve things, we move projects forward, we keep the day-to-day of life in motion - but we are disconnected from it. We go through the motions, hoping that happiness will be waiting for us at the end of the to-do list.

Spoiler alert: it isn’t. And even if it was, you’re never getting to the end of the to-do list anyway. The key is not to pursue more things that you think will make you happy, but instead, to create more opportunities to feel alive.

If I was to ask you when you have felt most alive this year, what shows up for you?

For me, there are a few key themes. Being outside. Being away from my phone. Having new experiences - a genre of book I wouldn’t usually reach for, a place I visited for the first time. There is sometimes a feeling of discomfort, of growth. There is often a connection with others. Fun and play feature heavily, as well as awe and creativity.

What I notice most is that the feeling of aliveness has little to do with other people or how I’m perceived. When I feel alive, I don’t feel as though I’m performing, I feel as though I’m anchored in my own life, my own feelings, my own experiences. And that is the difference - I’m engaged with the present moment, truly experiencing something instead of going through the motions.

Once you know what the themes of aliveness are for you, think about how you can start to create opportunities for those themes to occur. This isn’t about putting things on a to-do list, but instead, thinking about how you approach life. For example, instead of ordering something I need online, I am trying to shop in stores more. I could order a book on Amazon right now and have it in my hands in less than 24 hours, but there is something about going to my local bookshop, smelling that gorgeous bookshop smell, and having a conversation with the friendly booksellers that makes me feel so much more alive. Similarly, I have a Peloton bike which I could easily use for my workouts, but I am opting instead to get outside for a run as I feel more connected to nature and my community, which in turn makes me feel more alive.

These shifts can feel counterintuitive. When we have been taught that productivity is king, doing things less efficiently can feel hard. But if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that at the end of our lives, it won’t be the moments we were most productive that run through our minds, it will be the ones in which we felt most alive. What is all of this about, if not experiencing the lives we have worked so hard to build?

So, this is your invitation to notice. To notice the moments when you feel most alive (and the ones where you feel the opposite). To notice where the urge to control gets in the way of your ability to experience. To notice the subtle shifts you could make that will help you to feel more alive.

We say we want more happiness. But what we actually want is more aliveness.

I’ve been thinking about death and grief a lot recently. Perhaps not the opening sentence you’d expect from a Substack with the word joy in its name, but it’s true.

I am lucky in that I can count the number of close loved ones I’ve lost on one hand. And I am deeply, deeply unlucky that one of the close loved ones I’ve lost was my gorgeous, mischievous, always hilarious cousin, Blossom, who was only 4 when she died.

Her death has been on my mind a lot recently. We’re approaching the 10 year anniversary, and it’s safe to say that I’ve been in my feels about it. There’s so much I could write about these last 10 years, about all the ways grief, and specifically, such a traumatic bereavement, have impacted my life, and perhaps it’s something I’ll dig into more in the coming weeks and months. But today I wanted to talk about the gift that grief has given me.

Now, before I start, I have to make it clear that this isn’t some toxic positivity/let’s find a silver lining kind of post. Grief is fucking awful, and grief of this nature has some particularly shitty side effects. I’m not sure I’ll ever answer an unplanned phone call from a family member without immediately assuming someone is dead/dying. I am a way more anxious mother than I’d like to be, robbed of the naive belief that accidents only happen to other people. Even the happiest of family gatherings are tinged with a little bit of sadness, knowing that someone is always missing.

But there is something grief has given me, something I’m eternally grateful for,

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This week was not the week I thought it was going to be.

I’ll be honest with you - when I sat and planned out my Substack posts for this week, I thought I’d be coming to you with some journal prompts to help you reset your goals at the midpoint of the year, or some thoughts on how to plan for a brilliant second half of 2026. Because that is how I’ve been viewing this week for a little while now: as my reset, my blank slate, my opportunity to flip the negative narrative that dominated a lot of the first 6 months and choose a more positive mindset.

I spent Monday and Tuesday doing a lot of thinking, journaling, reflecting. I drew lines and let go, I cast visions and set goals. I went to bed on Tuesday evening feeling so clear on what I wanted, so optimistic about the future, so fucking excited to embrace some positive momentum after a sluggish start.

And then I woke up on the morning of the 1st of July and realised that my son had chickenpox. Shit.

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The way I picture the year in my head is a little like a simple rollercoaster - the first 6 months are the slow crank up the hill, sometimes feeling achingly, painfully slow (looking at you, January and February), and then we reach the midpoint of the year and it’s all downhill at the speed of light. There’s something about knowing we’re halfway through that seems to speed everything up a little, and so I think it’s even more important that we take a bit of time to reflect and get intentional.

So, in practicing what I preach, here are 10 little joys from June, and a joyful to-do list for July - both very easy lists to write, which makes me feel so grateful for this season!

10 little joys from June

1) The garden really came to life

I’ve written before about how this is the first year I’ve really embraced gardening, and June has been the month that has made a lifelong gardener out of me. What was a sparse, very green raised bed at the start of the month is now bursting with colour. My dahlias have flowered, the sweetpeas and cosmos are abundant, and my courgettes and tomatoes are showing great progress, too. It has been so rewarding to watch the changes each day and honestly, has just filled me with gratitude!

2) I found a new favourite author

I read two books by Laura Barnett this month - The Versions of Us, which was published over a decade ago, and Births, Deaths and Marriages, which is her most recent novel. I absolutely loved them both and really enjoyed the way she develops characters who are imperfect and oh so real. Both books had really fun concepts, too - The Versions of Us took on a sliding doors approach, exploring how the decisions we make impact the way our lives unfold, and Births, Deaths and Marriages brings a group of uni friends back together in the year they all turned 40. Get them on your reading list!

3) We took a beautiful trip to Lake Garda

Without a doubt my highlight of June was the trip we took to Lake Garda - aka, one of the most gorgeous places I’ve ever been! Honestly, everywhere looked like a postcard and my camera roll is fit-to-bursting with photos of the mountains, the lake, the flowers, the pasta. It was our first trip abroad as a family of 4 and just one of those trips that I know I will remember when I’m 80 - it was such a joy to see my kids experience a new place and I felt so proud at how naturally they took it all in their stride.

4) And I caught the travel bug

Our trip also did something I didn’t realise I was waiting for - it unlocked my travel bug! I’ve always loved travelling (in fact, back in the day, I used to be a travel blogger!), but since the pandemic and having my kiddos, I haven’t really had much of an appetite for it - my theory is that my comfort zone was already so stretched by motherhood that I didn’t need the challenge and novelty of exploring new places. BUT, that has well and truly changed - my appetite has once again been whetted, and all I can think about is where we can travel to next and whether it’s unrealistic to sneak in a month in Vietnam before my daughter starts school next year…

5) I went to see Lily Allen

West End Girl was one of my favourite albums of 2025 and it was such a TREAT to watch Lily Allen perform it live this month. It was unlike any gig I’ve been to before - more like a play really - and it felt so moving to watch a woman rejecting shame and taking back her power in such a public, creative and talented way. Plus, the support act was basically the audience doing karaoke to Lily’s previous hits with a live orchestra which was just as epic as it sounds.

6) I spent over 100 hours outside

This year I’ve been using the 1000 hours outside app to track how much time I spend outside, and this month was the first time I surpassed 100 hours. It’s also the month that I have felt most level headed, calm and content - and I reckon the two are definitely linked! From grabbing the odd hour in the garden to full days soaking up the great outdoors, it has been so gorgeous to be out in nature at the most abundant time of year.

7) We celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary

Last week marked our 9th wedding anniversary, something I still struggle to comprehend if I’m honest! And then I look at the photos of us, so young and fresh-faced, and it really does feel like another lifetime ago that we said I do - before I’d plucked up the courage to change my career, before any of us had ever heard of Covid, before we’d made any big decisions about starting a family. It was so special to celebrate this year with our kiddos in tow - we went out for a low-key dinner and rounded the evening off like good toddler parents, at the playground.

8) I launched the Shed the Should campaign

This month I have been running my Shed the Should campaign over on Instagram - a collaborative campaign designed to help women shed obligation, expectation and comparison, and start reclaiming their joy. I had an inkling that this was something women in my community needed, but the response really blew me away. Plus, interrogating the “shoulds” we carry all month had a pretty transformative effect on me - I did some things I never thought I’d pluck up the courage for (wearing a bikini on my hols, for one) and faced into some limiting beliefs I didn’t even realise were there.

9) I treated myself to a few new things for my hols

It is very, very rare I treat myself to anything new clothes wise - I’m a recovered shopaholic and really try to be mindful with my consumption these days. But given that I’ve spent the last 4 summers either pregnant or breastfeeding, there were certainly a few gaps in my wardrobe that needed filling! What’s been so lovely is that everything I bought has already been worn at least 5 times, proof that I made good choices and didn’t buy stuff just for the sake of it.

10) I visited the Peace Museum to see their Tactical Frivolity exhibition

Finally, perhaps the most inspired I’ve been this month was during a trip to the Peace Museum in Bradford to see their current exhibition, Tactical Frivolity, which is all about embracing joy as resistance. It was such a beautiful reminder that joy can be a tool for revolution and change, and I loved reading about protests, campaigns and revolutions that have kept frivolity and fun at their core. I would thoroughly recommend a visit if you’re going to be in the area anytime soon!

A joyful to-do list for July

Now, time to look ahead to July. I’ll be honest, I’ve historically never been much of a fan of July - it feels to me like a bit of a shapeless month (perhaps because my kids haven’t started school yet), a bit of a stop gap between the excitement of June and the deep relaxation of August. But putting this list together has actually made me realise how much magic July holds…

Reset your goals

We’ve now reached the official midpoint of 2026, making it the perfect opportunity to check in on your goals and get clear on what you’d still love to achieve before the year is up. A good place to start is by thinking about how you want to feel come New Year’s Eve.

Lower your expectations

The summer months are perfect for slowing things down a little, and one way we can do that is by lowering the expectations we have of ourselves. It’s okay to let things slide for a while if doing so creates space for joy!

Visit a PYO fruit farm

Summer means fresh fruit, and it tastes even better when you’ve picked it yourself! Visiting a pick-your-own-fruit farm is the perfect seasonal activity - it’s mindful, it will make you feel connected to nature, and you’ll have some delicious fruit to pack for a picnic at the end. Winner!

Go on a road trip

Even if it’s only somewhere an hour down the road! Pack up the car, think of somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit, and just go. Of course, all good road trips should be accompanied by great snacks, a banging playlist and plenty of car games for maximum joy.

Swim outdoors

July is a great time for outdoor swimming because both the air and water temperatures have warmed up. Swimming outside is one of my favourite things to do and makes me feel so present! Choose a lake, beach or lido and give it a go (just remember to be safe!)

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What have been your highlights of June? And what’s on your joyful to-do list for July?

Every summer, we spend some time in Anglesey, a beautiful island off the coast of North Wales, where, luckily for me, my in-laws happen to live. About 100 metres from their house is a quiet beach, and for as long as she has lived here, my mother-in-law has walked the short distance and plunged herself into the sea for a quick swim each day.

For years, I watched as she’d return from the beach, skin glistening with salty water, and felt envious of the joy this ritual so clearly brings. I ached for the refreshed, energised feeling she’d wax lyrical about, but I was always too scared to join her. You see, while I’ve always loved swimming, I feared the sea - you can’t always see what lurks beneath your feet, and that freaked me out. Plus: jellyfish. We’d often see jellyfish washed up on the shore when we walked at low tide, and the thought of being stung by one kept me well away from the water.

That was until 2020. After months of being cooped up at home, staring at the same four walls, retreating to Anglesey in the late summer felt like such a treat. And I felt braver. It had been so long since we had experienced something new, and so I pulled on my swimming costume and tiptoed into the water with my mother-in-law and my husband.

The water was warm and we could see fish jumping all around us, their silver scales glistening in the light. The sunlight reflected in the waves, and we had a perfect view of the mountains in the distance. We swam for a little while, splashed around and laughed, and then, as we were making our way back to the shore, my fear was realised - I was stung by a jellyfish.

My first reaction was to panic. The anxious part of my brain swung into action, almost gloating as it reminded me “I told you this wasn’t safe”. But once that passed, another realisation followed it - it really wasn’t that bad. I had a tiny red mark on my forearm that itched and burned a little, but it was no worse than a graze or a bruise, especially once I’d cleaned it and applied a little lotion.

I’ve swam in that same bay every single summer since, and never again have I been stung. But that experience taught me something - sometimes, the things we’re scared of aren’t all that scary after all. And ultimately, when we let our fears drive our decision making, we deprive ourselves of joy.

Fear is primal - it’s only objective is to keep us from doing something that our brain deems unsafe. But a lot of the time, that fear kicks in without all of the information. It feels the threat, and it instantly reacts. It doesn’t pause to consider that on the other side of the threat lies joy or love or connection or success. We can’t take our fear at face value, because when we do, we make poor decisions.

You might feel scared of starting a new hobby because you’re worried about what other people will think. But what about the fulfilment and growth you’ll take from learning something new?

You might fear exploring a career change because you’re worried about the uncertainty it will bring. But what about the success, joy and opportunities that are waiting for you?

You might be scared to show your vulnerability to someone because it leaves you feeling exposed. But what about the deeper connection and love that lies on the other side of that vulnerability?

I’m not saying that your fears are completely unfounded. I was scared of getting stung, and I did get stung. But my fear wasn’t proportionate to the outcome. And it certainly wasn’t worth denying myself joy in order to avoid it.

Today, take some time to consider what you’re scared of. What are the fears that are keeping you frozen or holding you back in some way? And then, consider what could lie on the other side of your fear. What joy is available to you if you find a little courage?

At the start of this year, I set myself a very specific goal: I wanted to be able to fill a vase with flowers cut from my own garden every week this summer.

I shared this goal on Instagram last week, and someone replied to me saying that it was such a lovely reminder that we can set small goals for ourselves instead of always striving for the next big thing. I loved the sentiment behind that message, but I also had a little chuckle to myself, because this goal feels pretty huge to me.

I’ve never been a gardener. My dad is very green-fingered and would always try and encourage my sister and I to show an interest when we were kids, but the truth was, I was happier inside, lining my gel pens up in colour order and scribbling in my journal, or reading the latest Babysitter’s Club book. Since leaving home 18 years ago, I’ve never really had much outdoor space - a small yard at best, with a few pots for bedding plants or a hanging basket. But last year, we moved into our current home and inherited not just a bigger garden, but a giant raised bed.

Last summer I did nothing at all with it - spring was already underway by the time we moved, and my attention was fully absorbed in caring for our tiny newborn and adjusting to life with two kids. The weeds thrived and we had a few surprises pop up that had been planted by the previous owners, but other than that, it was definitely a fallow year. At the start of this year, I was determined to put a bit more effort in - the raised bed takes up a sizeable amount of our garden, and I wanted to make sure we were putting it to good use. I was excited to see what we could grow out there and to add some colour to the space, but I was also very overwhelmed - where on earth do you start?

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I’ve spent the last week on holiday with my family in Lake Garda. It was a beautiful trip - one of my favourite holidays ever, and without a doubt the best week we’ve all had since my little boy was born last spring.

It wasn’t perfect or without its moments, of course. Travelling with a 3 year old and a 1 year old is not for the faint hearted, and throw in heat, a change in routine and plenty of over-tiredness and I’m sure you can imagine that there was some stamping of feet and throwing of wobblers, but it was still so full of joy. There was a lot to be grateful for - stunning scenery, Italian food, new experiences - but I think my favourite part was slowing down to my toddler’s pace.

Something I’ve noticed since my daughter entered toddlerhood a few years ago is just how much of our wonder and awe we lose touch with when we become adults. My daughter is endlessly fascinated with the world, curious about everything, and it was a joy to see everything through her eyes for the last week. We were constantly stopping to watch lizards scurry up walls, answering questions about the different flowers growing around the lake, taking the long route back to our campsite to check on the baby ducklings we spotted on our first day. Seeing how fascinated she was by these things we so often take for granted imbued them with a fresh sort of magic, and made me realise how many little miracles are unfolding all around us everyday.

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Enough is not a sexy word. Not in a society that celebrates indulgence, opulence, and abundance. Enough can feel basic, boring, miserly even—and, let’s face it, not very joyful. But would you believe me if I told you that learning to recognise what enough looks like for me has been one of the most freeing mindset shifts I’ve experienced?

As women, we often operate from a place of scarcity. Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to our appearance, our relationships, and our professional achievements. Maybe it’s because we’ve grown up in a world where the gender pay gap persists and we feel like we always need to be striving for more to prove our value. For me, I consider my own working-class family roots coming into play—a hereditary survival instinct that reminds me to never rest on my laurels. I also recall graduating into a recession, when there were quite literally not enough jobs to go around. Wherever that conditioning comes from, I can see now that a scarcity mindset doesn’t serve us. It pulls us away from our intuition and core values and convinces us that we need more in order to be happy and content. Asking ourselves what enough looks like is the most effective way I’ve found of overriding that constant, draining drive for more.

Because when I really sit and ponder my answers to that question, I realise that I need a lot less than I’ve always believed. For me, having enough looks like a job that fulfils and challenges me, doing work that allows me to make a positive impact in the world. It’s having a home that can house our little family, with enough space to entertain friends and have the people we love come to stay. It’s having plenty of time and space to create, to get outdoors, and to live life in the moment. It’s having enough money to sustain my and my husband’s creative pursuits, with a little bit left over for living. And that’s it. I don’t need a fancy job title. I don’t need a house with more bedrooms than we’ll ever use. I don’t need a huge salary, or a flashy car, or a wardrobe bursting with designer purchases. I don’t need five-star luxury holidays, endless shopping hauls, or a postcode in the very best area of town. I don’t need to look like a supermodel.

And it’s in realising that that the freedom comes. Because if I don’t need those things, if I can live a really good life without them, I can free myself from the endless hustle required to achieve them. I can stop damaging my self-worth by trying to achieve things that won’t add any more happiness to my life. I can recognise that I already have enough and focus my efforts on truly appreciating those things and the joy they bring. I don’t need to race to acquire wealth so that I can retire early, because I can enjoy life right here, right now.

Your definition of enough might look different from mine. That’s okay. The key is actually figuring out what enough looks and feels like for you and letting that be your North Star. In the world we live in, choosing to seek only what feels like enough instead of getting swept up in the endless pursuit of more is a radical act, one that has the potential to transform how we care for one another and this planet we live on. It is also one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself.

Because choosing enough isn’t boring. It’s freedom. Freedom from the goals and ambitions that no longer serve you. Freedom to pour your energy into the things that you truly care about. Freedom from the need to earn more, have more, be more. Freedom to be who you are and to embrace all your uniqueness. And most of all, freedom to enjoy life in all its imperfect and beautiful glory.

This isn’t about letting go of your ambitions or settling for less. It’s simply about choosing the ambitions that are right for you and letting go of the hold that everything else might have on you. When we do that, we know that we’re achieving true productivity by only pouring our energy into the pursuits that will add value and joy to our lives.

When does motherhood officially begin? I think the answer to that question is personal, subjective, and incredibly nuanced.

I have friends who have told me that they didn’t really feel like a mother until their baby was placed in their arms. Others have shared that their experience of becoming a mother began the minute they started to bravely envisage their life and family with an extra human in it. I’m sure there are many factors that have an impact (and I would be fascinated to hear other people’s answers), but I can only write from my own experience. For me, it felt like motherhood began the minute I peed on the stick and saw two lines.

That moment happened just over 4 years ago: Friday 20th May, 2022. Around 6.15am. The time and date etched into my memory, because it feels like my life can be so perfectly cleaved into two parts: life before that moment, when the idea of starting a family felt purely theoretical, and life after that moment, when I had stepped over some imaginary threshold into motherhood.

Now, don’t interpret from what I’ve written that I was naive enough to believe that a positive pregnancy test would result in holding a baby in my arms 9 months later. I was almost 33 when I fell pregnant for the first time, and we millennials were in the thick of a cultural realisation that having a baby was not quite as easy as we’d been led to believe at school. But there was something about seeing those two lines that shifted something inside of me, and made me believe with a conviction that I hadn’t felt previously, that being someone’s mum was something I so desperately wanted. It was the moment I stopped being wobbly and tentative about the idea, and started picturing motherhood with clear-eyed resoluteness.

And so, by my own definition, I have been in the chrysalis of motherhood for 4 years now. 4 life-changing, shape-shifting, essence-redefining years. I have been thinking a lot in the last few weeks about what those 4 years have taught me, what lessons I have gathered amidst the change and challenge and joy and grief that is early motherhood. Here’s what came up for me…

Motherhood is a lesson in relinquishing control

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Care less about your to do list, and more about the memories made. When winter rolls around, you won’t remember the days you were extra productive, or the time you got your report finished early because you worked through lunch. What you will remember are the evenings you spent catching up with friends in that golden hour glow, or the afternoons you splashed about in the paddling pool with your kids. Be there, truly there, for those moments.

Embrace the spirit of adventure. Stay up until sunrise. Swim in the sea. Pitch a tent. Jump in the car and see where you end up. Summer is a time for getting lost, for finding hidden gems, for spending the entire day laid on a picnic blanket and laughing with your friends - make the most of it.

Reconnect with the things that remind you of your childhood summers. Make daisy chains, do cartwheels, blow dandelions.

Make a list of your favourite summer rituals and tick them off week by week - have a BBQ, drink Pimms, eat your dinner al fresco, fill the freezer with ice lollies. Savour all the things that only feel possible when the sun is shining and the days are long.

Embrace radical rest. Your autumn self will thank you for it.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to change yourself for the summer months. Wear the clothes you want to wear, move your body in the way it craves. Your joy doesn’t exist on the other side of a certain size or a number on the scales - it’s there for the taking right now.

Get curious. Notice what shows up for you when life starts to slow down a little, and follow the breadcrumbs. You never know where a conversation or an inspired Google search will take you.

Make time for the things you love the most. Read in the garden, work on your creative projects, while away hours stomping along the coastline. Remember that there is more to life than work, and summer is the perfect time to reconnect with those parts of you that might have been neglected recently.

Let go of comparison. Just because someone is jetting off to another luxurious destination every weekend doesn’t mean they’re doing summer better than you. The only life you have is yours, so lean into and make the very best of what you’ve got.

And finally, remember that these few golden months that lie ahead of us are fleeting. Don’t let that be a cause for sadness - instead, let it be a reminder to show up, to be present, to savour every last slither of joy. You deserve it.

On Sunday evening, I took part in a Sagittarius Full Blue Moon workshop. Now, I feel like I must start by saying that attending this kind of thing is very unlike me. While I love tools like journaling and reflection, my approach definitely leans more heavily towards the scientific than the spiritual, and I’ve always struggled to embrace the woo. But the further into my burnout recovery I get, the more I’ve been craving something different. I’ve felt called to embrace my intuition more, to trust my own wisdom, to connect with something bigger than me. If I’m really honest, I’ve been seeking a perspective shift - burnout has had me running loops in my own head, and I wanted to step out of the rumination and into something softer, gentler, and less self-focused.

I’ve followed Kirsty Gallagher on Instagram for ages and always loved her approach to all things astrology, so when I saw that she was running two workshops in May to align with the two full moons that fell at the start and end of the month, I thought I’d give them a go. I went along to the first one with an open mind, but also an acceptance that if it didn’t really feel right to me, that was okay - it was about trying something new rather than trying to control the outcome. The workshop felt very different to anything I’ve tried before - there were somatic practices, gentle movement, vivid meditations and a gorgeous sense of being held by Kirsty and the rest of the attendees.

After such a positive experience in the first workshop, I showed up to the one last Sunday feeling excited and fully committed to everything Kirsty had planned for us. The theme was all about releasing the beliefs and fears that have been holding us back and stepping into our full potential, and I allowed myself to drop any barriers and be open to what showed up for me (easier said than done if you’re a bit of a control freak, I must admit). I left the workshop with a handful of powerful realisations, but one in particular has really stuck with me: for as long as I can remember, I have been living my life at 60%.

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Why is it that winter seems to last forever and spring passes by in a flash? I am finding it hard to believe we are almost in June, almost in summer, almost at the half way point of the year. But here we are, and I’ve got so much goodness to share with you in this post, including some little joys from May and a joyful to-do list for the new month ahead.

Strap in!

10 little joys from May

1) Our first camping trip of the year

Truly my highlight of May, and up there with my biggest highlights of the year so far! Last weekend we packed our ancient tent and booked a cheap, no-frills campsite in the Lake District and it was just so much fun. A good reminder that joy doesn’t care about how fancy your life is, it cares that you’re present!

2) The return of Rivals

If you haven’t watched Rivals on Disney+ yet, let this be your encouragement. It’s camp, steamy, gossipy and so much fun, and I am thoroughly enjoying the second season. Part of me wishes they’d release it all at once so I could binge it, part of me is absolutely loving the Friday evening ritual of watching the latest episode.

3) The joy of gardening

Yeah, yeah, I know I’m a late thirties cliche but this is my first summer of gardening and OMG it’s so much fun! I skip out to my garden every morning to check on my little plant babies, I can’t stop visiting garden centres, I feel so PROUD when a bee chooses a plant I’ve been nurturing for months to land on. Truly a thrill and I can’t wait for a whole summer of pottering and learning more.

4) The Merlin Bird ID app

Really continuing on a theme of entering mid-life here, but I am quite obsessed with the Merlin Bird ID app. It helps you to identify the birds in your local area by recording and analysing their bird song and it has made me feel so much more present to all of the gorgeous wildlife around us.

5) This Book Made Me Think of You by Libby Page

It was a bit of a slow reading month (definitely going to rectify that in June!), but I did devour This Book Made Me Think of You by Libby Page which I absolutely adored. If you’re an avid reader who is most at home in a bookshop you will love this one, it felt like such an enjoyable read.

6) A trip to The Courtyard Dairy

On our way to the Lake District last weekend we stopped off at The Courtyard Dairy, which is an incredible independent cheese shop in Settle. The service is so friendly (no limit on the amount of cheese samples and plenty of recommendations!) and the variety on offer is amazing. Always a joy to visit.

7) Self shooting at Candid Studios

This month I headed down to London for the first time in over a year to self shoot some new work photos at the amazing Candid Studios. It’s such a fun set up - you get a little portrait studio all to yourself and a clicker to help you take your own photos. It takes away all of the awkwardness! Candid is also based in the Notting Hill area which I haven’t visited in years, and it was so lovely to have a little mooch in the sunshine.

8) Some glorious coaching conversations

I get to do so many fun things as part of my job, but the absolute best bit is coaching brilliant women. This month, so many of my clients have been stepping into their power, rejecting unhelpful narratives and reclaiming their joy, and it has been such a joy to walk alongside them.

9) Peak rhododendron season

If April is peak blossom season, May is peak rhododendron season, and I’d be hard pushed to make a decision on which I enjoy more. The vibrancy of the rhododendrons has brought me so much joy, especially during the first half of the month which was pretty grey here in Leeds.

10) Finding my running groove

I hate to break it to you all, but it turns out that regular exercise really is good for your mental health. I’ve relocated my running groove this month, racking up almost 50k, and my word, I feel SO much better for it. There is just something so joyful about running through the woods on a balmy summer evening with your favourite music playing!

A joyful to-do list for June

Now, time to look ahead to June and all of the possibilities this new month holds. There’s so much goodness to be found in June, and I hope this list will give you an idea of where to go looking for it…

Celebrate the summer solstice

On the 21st of this month we’ll celebrate the summer solstice - the longest day of the year. There are so many ways you can mark this special point in the calendar, but my favourite is to simply spend as much time as possible outdoors making the most of the extra daylight hours.

Reflect on the year so far

By the end of this month we’ll officially be at the halfway point of 2026. Take some time this month to gently reflect on the year so far - what has gone well? What has felt challenging? What have you learned? - before making some plans and setting some goals for the next 6 months. It’s not too late to make 2026 the year you wanted it to be.

Be a tourist in your home town

Holiday season is upon us, and even if you’re not planning to travel this summer, you can inject a little bit of adventure into your life by being a tourist in your home town. Eat at a new restaurant, visit a much-loved attraction or spend an afternoon enjoying your local park.

Keep a weekend free

I always find that life gets busy at this time of year, so one way I like to counteract that is by keeping at least one weekend a month plan-free and I’d encourage you to do the same. A plan-free weekend creates space for spontaneity and following your whims, which always feels good!

Start a summer journal

June marks the official start of summer, so why not start a new journal to record your experience of this season? You could use it to jot down your thoughts and feelings, track your goals and capture memories to look back on.

Start a summer playlist

And on that note, why not start a summer playlist? You can add your songs of the season as the months go by, and come September time when the seasons start to change again, you’ll have a playlist that instantly takes you back to all of your happiest memories.

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What have been your highlights of May? And what’s on your joyful to-do list for June?

Every year I choose a word of the year. It’s a popular practice, one I’ve been partaking in for 8 or 9 years now, and the idea is simple: you choose a word that becomes an anchor or a guide post of sorts, something you can keep coming back to to be reminded of what is most important.

For a good while, I thought my word for 2026 was going to be fun. That was the word I was rolling around for most of December, envisaging a year of dancing and adventures and taking life less seriously. At the last minute, I decided to change my word to human - a reflection of the slower pace I wanted to adopt, the connection I was craving and my desire to spend less time on a screen and more time in the real world. As we hurtle towards the midpoint of the year, it feels like I chose the right word for this season of life.

But recently, I’ve been wondering if that craving for fun was an early warning sign that burnout was creeping along the horizon.

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Waking up to birdsong.

The first cup of tea of the day.

Washing drying on the line.

Things coming back to life in the garden.

The way my baby boy paws berries into his mouth in the indelicate kind of way only a 12 month old can get away with.

Standing at the kitchen window and watching the goldfinches enjoy our neighbour’s bird feeder.

Reading the first chapter of a book and knowing that it’s going to completely and utterly consume you.

Seeing a whole row of suns on the weather forecast.

Having some little adventures in the diary.

That feeling when you’re enjoying working on something so much that a whole hour passes you by.

Peonies.

Pictures drawn by my 3 year old adorning every bit of wall space we have.

Finding a song that you know will go on your “songs of summer” playlist.

An early night.

Strawberries and cream.

Those days when the ideas don’t stop coming.

Tacos and margaritas with friends.

That bookshop smell.

That freshly cut grass smell.

Golden hour.

A sense that everything is working out exactly as it is supposed to.

Nine years ago, I bought a journal that changed my life. It was called Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 (created by the wonderful Selina Barker, who still puts these journals out every year!), and in it, there was a section to imagine how you wanted life to look in 5 years.

At that point in my life, the only time I’d ever been asked where I saw myself in 5 years was during a job interview. I was 28, newly married, working in a commercial role at The Walt Disney Company. I’d lived most of my life up until that point on autopilot - doing the things that were expected of me, pushing for the promotions at the right time, booking the next holiday, ticking off the life milestones. I never thought much about what I wanted, just about what would keep me moving forward in step with my peers and friends.

But in 2016, I had experienced a traumatic bereavement that turned my world upside down and got me thinking for the first time about what I wanted to do with my life. By the time I stumbled upon that journal in Oliver Bonas on my commute home, I was 15 months into navigating grief and questioning everything. Which is probably why when I got to the section about setting my vision for how I wanted life to be in 5 year’s time, I didn’t just write down what was expected of me, I allowed myself to dream.

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At the start of this year, we underwent a house renovation. It was a relatively small project in the grand scheme of things - converting our loft, replacing our roof, adding some storage - but of course, searching for paint and carpet and light fittings means that the algorithms have twigged that I’m in my renovation era.

Now, whenever I open Instagram, my feed is awash with perfect houses. Huge kitchen extensions that are flooded with light. Cosy, grown up snugs, complete with dark walls and atmospheric lighting. Grand hallways painted in chic, muted colours. Bathrooms that look like something from a 5-star hotel. Kids bedrooms that somehow appear to stay tidy and well organised.

I scroll, and my feed shows me image after image of tasteful, tidy, put together homes.

Our home does not look like the houses I see on Instagram.

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Our hallway is constantly cluttered - with nursery bags and shoes and piles of books that are waiting to be returned to the library. A pram squeezed into a too-small space, a naff radiator cover that becomes a dumping ground for post and keys and my daughter’s hair clips.

Our bathroom is blue - not that soft, muted powder blue that seems to be flooding my explore page, but a bright, garish, seaside blue that I remember being on trend in the nineties. Plastic toys fill the shelves, the classic IKEA toddler step resides next to the sink.

We don’t have a separate dining room. Our dining table (which is currently home to a hardening patch of Weetabix, excitedly flung by my son at breakfast time) resides in our kitchen, which also has a distinctly nineties vibe - lots of wood, shiny paint, beige tiles.

Our garden has a water feature we never use taking up prime real estate. Our garage is rendered in ugly pebble dash. Our bedroom is covered in lining paper that is peeling off. There are prints we haven’t got round to hanging, lampshades that haven’t been fitted, furniture brought from our old house that doesn’t quite fit.

Our home is far from perfect. And yet, it is home to so much joy.

Our kitchen might not be vast or modern, but last December, we managed to squeeze 10 of us around the table for a decadent Christmas dinner. Hundreds of dance parties have taken place there, thousands of family meals have been cooked. And every evening, it is flooded with the most delicious golden light.

Our garden might not be huge or beautifully landscaped, but this morning, I managed to fill a vase with flowers that I’d grown out there. The birds visit regularly. The climbing rose that wraps around our pergola will be in bloom before the month is out.

Our bathroom is full of laughter at 6pm every evening as my kids splash each other and my daughter does her best mermaid impression. By 8pm, I have nothing but gratitude for the deep bathtub which is almost double the size of the one we had in our old house.

Our walls are adorned with pictures drawn by my daughter and photos of happy memories. Every window looks out onto trees, or the park, or the moors in the distance. Our neighbours are kind and friendly. I get to run my business from the small basement office that houses built-in bookshelves that make me swoon everyday.

There is so much still left to do, and so little time or money with which to do it. We will be decorating and updating and maintaining it for as long as we live here (which I hope is forever). But that is okay. That is normal. That is how most of us live, no matter what the Instagram algorithm might try to convince us.

Joy is not waiting for us to finish the project. It does not require perfection.

Instead, joy asks us to be grateful. To be present. To prioritise connection and aliveness, over aesthetics and comparison.

This home of ours is bursting at the seams with life. Every room, every wall even, tells a story of growing babies and family memories and our much-loved community. That’s so much more important than the colour it’s painted or the carpet underfoot. Trust me.

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned from coaching hundreds of clients in the last 7 years, it’s this: knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things.

It’s one thing to create a savings plan and budget, it’s another thing to stick to it, day in, day out. It’s one thing to download a half marathon training plan, it’s another thing to show up for the long runs even when you’re knackered. It’s one thing to figure out what you want to do next in your career, it’s another thing to find the confidence to take action.

That’s exactly the position I found myself in back in March. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing to help myself start recovering from burnout - I’m a highly trained wellbeing practitioner who has supported hundreds, if not thousands, of other people to do exactly that. I had a plethora of tools, research and proven techniques at my finger tips. But I was stuck in that difficult place where so many of us find ourselves again and again - the crossroads that lie at the intersection between knowing and doing.

The path I needed to take was mapped out for me. I knew I needed to lower my cortisol levels, and that journaling, meditation and exercise would help with that. I knew I needed to take some responsibilities off my plate, and I knew the conversations I needed to have to help me do that. I knew that I needed to get back to basics - good nutrition, remembering to take a vitamin, upping the amount of sleep I was getting. I had no doubt at all about what I should be doing. I had no doubt whatsoever that doing these things would make me feel better. And yet, I couldn’t for the life of me find the motivation to start doing them.

Which brings me to a question that shows up time and time again in my coaching conversations: why do we so often resist doing the things we know will help? I don’t think there’s one universal answer. I think it depends entirely on our unique environments, circumstances and beliefs. Maybe the scale of change feels overwhelming. Perhaps our sense of identity hasn’t caught up with who we’re trying to become. We might be scared that we’ll try to make a change and end up failing. There’s often a lack of self-worth at play.

But the benefit of supporting other people with this stuff is that I knew I had to figure out my own answer to that question before I could start to make a change. And so, I did something I hadn’t done for months - I sat down with my journal and tried to write my way to some clarity.

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As I’m relatively new to Substack, I’ve been thinking about how to share a little bit more about who I am and what I do. I’ve had a classic introduction post sitting in my drafts for weeks, but a phrase my book editor always uses came to me the other day: “show, don’t tell”.

So, instead of telling you all about how I came to be The Joyful Coach and what I do in my work, I thought I’d share with you my 10 joy commandments. These are the guiding principles that shape the way I build my own joyful life, and also influence the way I coach, write and educate within my community.

Here goes - in no particular order, my 10 joy commandments…

1) Time with your people > everything else

The research tells us that the biggest predictor of joy is connection, but even if there was no scientific evidence pointing to that fact, it’s the conclusion I would draw anyway. I know, on a cellular level, that whenever my time is up, there will not be a single memory that flashes through my mind that doesn’t involve the people I love, and so, I try to organise my life in a way that recognises that.

How I do that has looked different in every season of my life. Right now, it means maximising the time I get to spend with my kids while they’re little, even though it might be costing me potential work opportunities. It means gathering our loved ones together as often as we can, even though the logistical operation required feels painful at times. It means showing up to the book club with my pals, even when I’m knackered. It means protecting quality time and conversation with my husband, even when doomscrolling in silence together feels like the easier option. If you want to live a joyful life, prioritising more time with your people is more powerful than any other action you could take.

2) Celebrate everything

We are a family that celebrates everything. We go all in on the big stuff - birthdays, Christmas, Halloween and the like - but we also make sure the small things are marked. A picnic hastily organised, because the blossom trees in the park are in bloom and wouldn’t it be wonderful to sit underneath them while we eat lunch? A bottle of fizz opened on a random Thursday, because surely we should toast that work win? A giant mound of pasta devoured on the evening we booked our summer holiday to Italy, because booking our first holiday as a family of 4 is surely something that needs celebrating?

Celebrating everything is not about consumerism or going over the top or feeling like we need to add more pressure to an already very full calendar. It’s about slowing down and being present for life’s great moments, and remembering that even when things are hard, there’s usually something special to give our attention to. And as a coach, I am always, always reminding my clients to celebrate their own life wins - something so few of us do with enough regularity!

3) Find your joyful anchors and rituals

One of the things I hear clients wrestle with the most is how fleeting time feels. We start the week telling ourselves this will be the week we finally get round to prioritising joy, and then we blink and it’s Friday again already. The best way I’ve found to counter this feeling of being swept along by the tide of life is to create some joyful rituals that anchor me throughout the week. I’m not a fan of long morning routines that have to be performed perfectly, but I do think it can help to have a couple of moments that remind you to slow down and be present.

Here are a couple of my current rituals and anchors: a family trip to the park every Friday afternoon when my husband finishes work, a weekly visit to the library with the kids, slow Saturday mornings complete with pastries from our favourite bakery, and at least one long, luxurious bath a week. It feels good to know that however the rest of the week unfolds, there will be those guaranteed moments of joy to come back to.

4) Feel your feelings

The biggest thing I have learned in the last 7 years of being The Joyful Coach is that living a joyful life does not require you to be joyful all of the time. We are supposed to experience a whole range of emotions - it’s an essential part of being human. And when we try to deny or ignore our feelings, they can end up having a detrimental impact on our joy in the long run.

I try to give myself full permission to not just acknowledge my feelings (research shows that noticing and naming them has a significant impact on our wellbeing), but also to fully feel them. I journal about the way I’m feeling most days, I use stress or anger to fuel my exercise, and I am open and honest with my loved ones about the way I’m feeling. You can do all the positive mindset work in the world, but if you’re not also allowing yourself to experience a full range of emotions, you’ll probably struggle.

5) Notice what’s good

Leading on from point number 4 - if we’re gonna feel all the hard stuff, we have to let ourselves feel the good stuff too! As humans, we have an inherent negativity bias, meaning we find it easier to focus on the bad stuff than we do the good. Therefore, we have to make a bit of an effort to give the good stuff more of our attention, and the way I do that is by trying to make gratitude my default approach.

This is about so much more than writing a gratitude list each day. It’s trying to notice how the sun feels on my face, tuning into the sound of laughter when my kids are playing with each other, truly savouring each mouthful of my favourite meal. It’s remembering when I wanted what I currently have, and spotting all of the ways in which life continues to be exciting and joyful and fun. The more you actively start to try and spot the good, the more you realise just how much there is to enjoy.

6) There’s no one right way

We talk a lot about how comparison is the thief of joy, but there’s another culprit stealing our good vibes, too: perfection. In the age of endless information, it feels like there’s so much pressure to always make the “right” or best decision, but I’m a big believer that joy is easier to come by when you accept that there’s no one right way to do anything.

No one right way to parent a child, no one right way to build a career, no one right way to celebrate your birthday, no one right way to grieve or love or dance or learn. There’s no one right house, no one right job, no one right holiday, no one right dress. How freeing is that?! There are a billion different ways to build a beautiful, joyful, brilliant life, and when you realise that, you open yourself up to so much more joy.

7) Get outside often

A basic but essential one. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed - by work, by life, by the general state of the world - going outside and noticing what is happening in nature helps me big time. Just yesterday, I took a quick stroll in between calls and noticed beautiful bursts of blossom carpeting the path in the park, the trees forming a gorgeous green canopy overhead, and the most incredible smells that the lilacs were giving off.

Of course, spring is a particularly beautiful time to get outside, but you can feel the benefits of some nature awe at any time - it just requires you to tune in. Notice how it feels to gaze up at the stars and remember how small we all are, or to be soothed by the sound of the rain hitting the window. I also love remembering that these experiences are ones that humans have had for as long as time - something that feels powerful in an age of ever-developing technology.

8) Keep the promises you make to yourself

For the longest time, I was great at keeping the promises I made to everyone else, but would always flake on myself. I wonder if any of you resonate with this? I see a lot of my clients struggle with the same thing. It’s hard to feel joyful if we’re always flaking on ourselves or putting ourselves last - it breeds a sense of distrust that gives your inner critic space to get very, very loud. And let me tell you, that inner critic sure doesn’t invite feelings of joy in!

When I started keeping the promises I made to myself with the same level of commitment I gave to everyone else, joy felt so much easier to come by. Yes, because I was actually showing up and doing things that brought me joy, but also because I was experiencing the contentment that comes with knowing that I’ve got my own back.

9) Allow yourself to be inconvenienced

For the last decade or so, we’ve been sold on the idea that convenience is king. Have things delivered within 24 hours! Post a card to a friend without ever having to see the card! Automate everything! And well, I’m here to tell you that I think we have lost a lot of opportunities for joy in our rush to make everything seamless and efficient and convenient.

Yes, I could order a book on Amazon and have it the next day, but it is so much more joyful to wait until the weekend and visit our local bookshop and chat with the brilliant booksellers there. Yes, I could use AI to help me automate more parts of my business, but I really love having a human (hi, Katie!) to help me bounce ideas around with. Often, there is joy or connection or growth on the other side of inconvenience, and in our rush to streamline everything, we are losing that.

10) Lean into what feels good

My final joy commandment had to be the little mantra that inspired my very first foray into joy: lean into what feels good. It’s so simple, but so many of us do the opposite. We get so swept up in the things we think we should be doing - the books we should be reading, the foods we should be eating, the social gatherings we should be going to - that we forget to ever ask ourselves what would feel good.

Practise letting yourself be comfortable with feeling good. Eat what you actually want to eat. Read the books that bring you the most joy, or watch a great TV show instead if you actually hate reading. Re-listen to that same album you’ve loved since you were 17. Say yes to something you suspect will feel like a lot of fun. Feeling good is a superpower - let yourself access it.