I’ve been on a journey of discovering what it means to be a man for a while now - a journey of growing up, shedding immature boyish tendencies, and stepping into my masculine energy and responsibilities.

“What it means to be a man” seems to be a terribly hard thing to pin down. Everyone has there own passionate ideas and opinions on the topic; there is so much toxic masculinity (and femininity) floating around in our culture that it’s hard to know what’s what; and there honestly just aren’t that many positive male role models walking around that you can point to and say “See, look - there it is.”

Plus gender is nonbinary, so what even is a ‘man’ anyways?

I wrote down this list of what being a man means to me, just as a way to try to sort it out for myself. I showed it to a couple of friends and they said it was helpful, so I decided to publish it here.

Obviously interact with this post however you want, but I’d suggest that the best way to do so would be to use it as a springboard for you to do your own reflection: What does being a man mean to you? It feels like such a personal question that we all might need our own list.

Please note: I’m not trying suggest that these attributes are masculine qualities only - obviously, many of these qualities are important for people of any gender. This list isn’t meant to juxtapose the feminine; it’s meant to be a thorough list of all of the qualities I find important to manhood.

To me, being a man means:

1. Being deeply present. Being responsible, as in “able to respond.” Being patient - waiting for the right time to act, and acting efficiently & effectively when that time comes.

2. Turning towards conflict, within yourself and with others. Telling Truth, and recognizing this as a kindness; being skillful with delivering hard truths.

3. Being a good steward of difficult energies and emotions, such as sexual energy and anger. Setting clear boundaries.

4. Providing for the safety, wellbeing, and (spiritual) flourishing of those in your ‘family,’ as you define family.

5. Humility. Knowing your limits and asking for help when you need it; at the same time, truly testing your limits and not asking for help before you’ve tried.

6. Stepping into leadership roles when the situation requires it; stepping back when the situation requires that, with no ego involved either way.

7. Knowing yourself deeply - your shadows, your shortcomings, and your power. To me, this includes a more-than-surface-level exploration of your own sexuality and gender identity. Committing to self-knowledge as a lifelong journey.

8. Deep intimacy with and reverence for the feminine, within yourself and out in the world.

9. Working towards something greater than yourself (and your individual family). Knowing your place, your unique niche in this world, and enacting it.

10. Unapologetically sharing your gifts with the world. Not hiding - sharing. Being willing to withstand and grow from the criticism you will receive.

11. Being connected to others in community.

After creating this list I decided to score myself on a scale from 1-10 across each of these 11 attributes in order to identify areas where I need to improve - I ended up with an average score of 6 out of 10. I know I still have a lot of work to do here. But it feels like spelling this out was an important step in making progress towards this growth.

What did I miss? What resonates most with you? What struck you the wrong way? I would love to hear your reflections.

Much love,

Drew

She blows out of the West
on troubled winds.

“What have you done to me?”
she cries,
and rivers flow from her tears.
Where her hands shake,
the ground trembles and splits.

“You have forgotten me.
You have forgotten yourself.”

In the East
a great face forms in the sky.
Dark and twisted clouds
turning in on themselves.

“Who, me?”
he bellows,
thunder clapping from his words.
He grins and turns his back
to look out at the sea.

And so,
in tableau,
they sit.

Until one day,
on the horizon,
he sees the breakers of a great storm.

“Is that you, my love?”
he asks.
”But you were just…”

He looks over his shoulder
and there she stands, too.
Hands crossed over her chest.
Smiling now.

She is everywhere.
Dark grey mist
blanketing the world,
leaving no safe harbor
for his indifference.

“Oh, well.” He says,
and like any good absent father,
He retreats
to the safety
of the upper atmosphere,
to the cosmos,
to the heavens.

He retreats
to let her have her way with us.

Exciting news - instead of restricting access to 18-21 year olds, Jas and I will be opening our Walk Your Path 2026 Summer Cohort to any adult (or very mature 17-year old) who wants to join us!

Come join us this August as we ground in nature, offer time for deep introspection, and connect in community with folks who are on a similar journey of self-discovery.

Apply to Walk Your Path Summer Cohort

Walk Your Path is a nature-based community program designed to give you the tools to walk your own path in life. We’ll be mixing in forest therapy, shamanic healing practices, and heart-centered group facilitation techniques to search for answers to questions like:

• Who are you, really?

• What do you love about yourself?

• What unique gift do you offer the world?

• What do you need to let go of in order to build the kind of life you want to build for yourself?

For this 2026 Summer Cohort we will be leading three, 2.5-hour sessions out in local Seattle public parks over the course of August. We have some tentative dates planned for these three sessions, but are open to moving based on what works best for the majority of the group - so if in doubt, just apply and we’ll figure it out!

We are charging on a sliding scale between $300 - $500 per participant this summer. You can pay whatever feels right for you within this range, no questions asked. And if you’re super psyched for the program, but would need a scholarship to participate, reach out to let me know: (513) 907-6453.

This is going to be a special container - I hope that you will join us!

Much love,

Drew

Back in the fall I published an article called ‘Alternatives to Hazing - What if we helped our youth rise rooted?’

In it I shared about my experience getting hazed in a fraternity in college, and asked if there were better ways that we could be supporting our young adults as they transition into adulthood.

After about a year of sitting and plotting and planning, I am very excited to announce my own best answer to this question: Walk Your Path.

Visit the Walk Your Path Website

Walk Your Path (WYP) is a nature-based mentorship program for young adults designed to help them walk their own path in life. This summer, Jas Maisonet and I will be taking small cohorts of young adults (age 18-21) out into local Seattle parks to commune with the land, learn meditation and mindfulness techniques, and connect in community on topics related to the transition into adulthood.

Instead of questions like “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We will be asking questions like:

• Who are you, really?

• What do you love about yourself?

• What unique gift do you offer the world?

• What kind of life do you want to build?

We’ve just opened applications for the summer cohort, so if you know someone in Seattle who might be interested, please forward this information on to them!

Apply to Seattle 2026 Summer Cohort

One of the things that I’m most excited about with WYP is that it’s designed help integrate mindfulness and community into everyday life. We will be taking participants to parks that they can easily access via bus or bike, so that they have a natural resource they can come back to over and over again. We will be sharing meditation and mindfulness techniques that can be practiced anytime, anywhere, even in a crowded home. And maybe most importantly, we’ll be introducing young adults to likeminded folks who are on a similar journey, who can serve as the seeds of community as they continue to grow.

To make the program accessible financially, we will be charging on a sliding scale between $300 and $600. Participants can pay what they are able, no questions asked. We will also be accepting donations to help sponsor students who need a full scholarship to join the program - if you’d like to support, click the button below!

Donate to Walk Your Path

Jas and I are so excited about this! While we’ve got plans for the summer pilot mostly ironed out, we’re still very much in the early planning phases for what this program could be as a whole. So if you have reactions or ideas or feedback, we would love to hear them!

And if you live in Seattle, or know someone who does, please help us spread the word far and wide, so that we can connect with the young adults who are meant to find us.

Much love,

Drew

I wake up to a tsunami warning.

My phone is blaring. It’s 8:15am. Bright orange text rolls across the top of the screen: “The National Weather Service has issued a TSUNAMI WARNING...”

I rush out of bed. I hear the same noise coming from the next room, so I poke my head in to check in on my roommate. “It’s nothing, man. Only 6 foot waves. I’m going back to bed.”

Not me. I rush back into my room and throw on my backpack, snag my car keys, and head out the door; jump into my beat up old Cadillac, and start driving towards the coast.

It takes me less than 10 minutes to get to Pacific Beach. It’s an excited drive, anticipation building, wondering what I’ll find. Is this stupid, to be driving towards a tsunami?

When I arrive, I’m disappointed. It doesn’t look like much - just a choppy, grey day. I don’t know - maybe the waves look a little bigger than normal?

But I’m not defeated. I hop in my car and drive up to Birdrock, to my favorite place in San Diego. It’s a little public access point on a hill leading down to oceanside cliffs, maybe 20 feet above the waterline. It must have been saved from the rich by some municipal code - two seaside mansions rise up on either side, with large “stay out” fences and motion-activated floodlights.

From here, I can tell the difference. The waves crash up against the cliffs and shoot water 10 to 20 feet into the air overhead. It is violent.

I am mesmerized. I sit down on a dry rock, far enough away to avoid the spray.

I close my eyes and start to meditate, just to feel the energy of this moment.

When I open them some time later, three beings have joined me. I blink, just to make sure. Three hummingbirds are flying 15 feet in front on my face, perfectly still, evenly spaced across my vista. Even with the roaring of the ocean I can hear their wings fluttering impossibly fast, holding them in place.

The ocean churns behind them. Another wave crashes into the rocks and water is thrown up into the air, before falling back to earth behind this little tribunal.

We sit there, staring at each other, for I-don’t-know-how-long.

Then the hummingbird on the left flies away to the left.

And the hummingbird on the right exits stage right.

Leaving only the hummingbird in the center. He’s a ruby-throated hummingbird, bright pink iridescent feathers catching light even on this bleak grey day.

We stare at each other for another indeterminable amount of time. And then he flies off, too.

I am floored. I know that I have just witnessed something spectacular. But I can’t begin to grasp what it’s supposed to mean. Does it need to mean something?

I sit back on my rock, with a huge smile on my face, giving thanks. I close my eyes and begin to meditate again, probing for answers.

After some time, the thought comes to my mind, unbidden: “YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL.” And just as it does, the spray from a massive wave comes down on me, hard.

I look down at my soaked clothes. At my soaked backpack with my phone and journal and library book inside.

And I laugh. Hysterically. A real laugh, rising up from my toes. Feeling true joy at the utter absurdity and spectacle of this moment. I start dancing for joy.

As my dance turns me around, I see two people behind me, looking down at me from up the hillside. I must look insane - soaked, maniacal, laughing to myself. I simply don’t care at all. They turn quickly and go.

After the moment passes, and the joy subsides to a glowing sunshine feeling in my chest, I grab my soaked belongings, jump back in the car, and drive home.

What to make of this experience?

It’s been four years, and I’m still not quite sure.

I haven’t talked about it much since then. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s best not to talk about these kinds of experiences out loud - it can codify it, make what happened too specific and real. Rather than just allowing the experience to work on the subconscious in the background.

But I woke up yesterday with the overwhelming urge to write this down, and then the follow-up urge to publish it and seek some help with interpretation.

So what comes up for you when you read this, or look at the cover photo that Gemini graciously helped me produce?

Here are the little puzzle pieces of meaning that have come to me over the years:

• The juxtaposition of the hummingbird with the tsunami in the background. The gentleness, the impossibility of this delicate little creature - a real-life fairy - backed up by the roaring might of the ocean.

• Some guidance on a way to live. Remaining perfectly still even while in motion, even while the great forces of the world churn around you. How the best way to live in chaos is to find stillness within yourself.

• “I am not in control.” We are all hummingbirds next to the ocean - we could be swept away at any moment. Sitting by the ocean always brings this feeling up for me. I am here by the grace of Spirit; this thing could come and take me any time it pleased.

• The symbolism of the hummingbird in general. Seeing a hummingbird is always a sign for me that I’m exactly where I need to be. They sit in the North direction of the Peruvian medicine wheel, representing the mythological level of consciousness and the great journeys that we take it life, as well as connection to our guides and ancestors. I’ve heard that they are often a symbol for joy in cultures around the world.

What else you got? Some kind of numerology around the number three? A strong feeling or emotion that this tableau brings up for you, or a similar experience out in the natural world? Something about the colors or texture of the imagery? I’d love to hear your reactions.

With much love,

Drew

The most common question I get doing shamanic healing work is “So… how did you get into this?”

And the question that I hear (accurately or not) is: “How did a big white dude from Ohio become a shaman?”

Which is more than fair. So I figured I’d take a stab at answering it here.

My road to shamanism really began as a sobriety journey.

I was living in San Francisco back in 2020 when COVID hit and forced us all indoors. I had been a heavy social drinker for six or seven years at that point; but in quarantine it became apparent that even as the “social” was falling away, the “drinker” was gonna keep right on chugging.

That didn’t feel right - and with the help of a great therapist / psychiatrist team and a newfound meditation practice, I quit drinking the day after Thanksgiving, 2020.

I got off of antidepressants around that same time. I had been on Effexor for four or five years, but had noticed that it gave me nasty side effects if I ever missed a dose. So I took the opportunity of getting sober to come off of that, too.

The combined comedown from these two things was rough. It took me a couple of months to feel like myself again.

But once I did, something began to shift. I don’t know if I began to feel the positive effects of sobriety; or if some part of me liked proving to myself that I could do hard things; but I started quitting everything.

Nicotine was the next to go. I’d been vaping pretty religiously for a couple years, a habit picked up through drunk cigarettes in college. About three months after quitting alcohol, I went on a trip to the Dominican Republic and left the Juul at home, counting on the language barrier to prevent me from going to the local bodega to buy cigarettes. It was a brutal vacation, but it worked.

Next came coffee, about four months later. I had moved to San Diego at this point, working remotely for a nonprofit consultancy, and had started getting nasty headaches at the end of each work day. I read online that it could have something to do with my 6-11 hours of daily screen time or the 3 to 4 iced coffees I was drinking per day; so I got some blue-light glasses and I quit caffeine. It didn’t really work - the headaches persisted until years later, when I finally stopped working from behind a computer - but once I was through the caffeine withdrawals, I wasn’t going back.

Had I just become addicted to quitting things? Maybe.

The last thing that I quit was a little bit more nuanced: I quit living my life based on what I thought other people wanted me to do (codependency). In early 2023 I took advantage of a work opportunity and moved to Seattle, where I knew no one; started attending Codependents Anonymous (CODA); and took an oath to myself to live each day doing exactly what I needed to do for myself. Believe it or not, this came with extremely similar withdrawal effects to quitting nicotine and caffeine - check out my poem Never Being, written during that time.

So at this point it was early Spring of 2023. I was really, truly sober. Living in Seattle. Staying open to whatever life might bring.

And something incredible started happening to me.

I started having channeling experiences.

I don’t know what else to call them, and I certainly had no-fucking-clue what to make of them at the time. A certain warm, glowing, golden-sunlight feeling would wash over me, seemingly at random, and I would get the urge to pick up a pen and just start writing. I’d write for pages and pages, receiving words rather than producing them - it was the sensation of I have no idea what word is coming next, I’ll just kept moving my hand.

It was amazing. And it was also terrifying.

I was fortunate enough to have an incredible therapist and friend at the time (shoutout to Olivia Dillingham) who twilighted as a psychedelic spirit guide. I told her about these experiences and her first instinct was “you really need to check out shamanism.” She introduced me to her acquaintance Rami, who just so happened to be starting his very first shamanic apprenticeship program two weeks later.

Meeting Rami was one of those magical moments where a new person feels like an old friend. It felt like he truly saw me, like he understood my experience. During that initial call he told me that he could give me the tools to turn these channeling experiences on and off like a light switch, and step onto my path as a healer.

I enrolled in his apprenticeship program a week later, and the experience completely changed my life. Not all at once, but in a slow, sustainable kind of way.

The 5-month online program took us through the native Peruvian medicine wheel, guiding us through deep internal healing, while at the same time giving us the tools to hold space for others.

We learned to shed our old stories based in victimhood, and how to become the authors of our own lives. I remember doing a writing exercise early in the course and telling the class afterwards that it had “cracked me open like a glow stick,” opening me to the possibility of an animistic world that might even be conspiring in my favor.

We uncovered and sat with our deepest wounds, learning how to alchemize the pain we have moved through into medicine for others.

And we learned the (frankly magical) healing traditions of the shamans of Peru - illumination, extraction, soul retrieval, cord cutting, etc. - techniques to help clear the energy field and invite folks into their highest timeline in this life.

By the time I graduated from the program in August of 2023, I was a different person. Still flawed, still integrating, still learning; but feeling significantly lighter and brighter.

I traveled to Peru a couple months later with another graduate from the program and got the opportunity to meet the Q’ero people, where many of these shamanic traditions come from. I also got the chance to journey into the Amazon jungle, cleansing myself through ayahuasca and other plants medicines and coming out the other side a much more powerful healer.

Now, almost three years to the date after the start of the apprenticeship, this is what I do. I have opened my own in-person shamanic healing practice Soul Mirror here in Seattle, offering 1-on-1 sessions and community gatherings across two studios.

My practice is still young, and I’m still learning - will always be learning. But I’m happier, and more fulfilled, and more confident that I’ve ever been in my life. I feel that I have found my path, and that I am walking it.

With love,

Drew

What better gift to give a loved one than the opportunity to heal and come closer to themselves?

I created this promotion because it’s been one of my favorite gifts to give my friends and family members over the last couple of years - an energy healing session with a practitioner that I know and trust.

It gives my loved one an opportunity to try something new that they may never experience on their own; feels good to give as a wholesome, non-commercial gift that may help improve their life; AND, as a bonus, I get to support a local healer from my community as they build their practice.

How it works:

1. Use the button below to buy a shamanic healing session for your loved one, making sure to fill in their name, email address, and the date that you’d like the gift to be sent as you’re filling out the form.

2. On that day, I will send them an email with a unique 100% off discount code and a link for them to sign up for their session.

3. They sign up, we hold our session, and we all live happily ever after :)

And of course, this is a great opportunity to put a shamanic healing session on your own wishlist!

Give the Gift of Healing

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Love,

Drew

Everything around us is attempting to pull us up out of our bodies and into our heads - from phone screens, to work schedules, to advertisements, to the substances we use to get through our day.

It’s done on purpose. When we are disconnected from our grounding - our essential connection to the Earth - we are much more likely to be anxious; to be compliant; to go along with whatever agenda is set out in front of us. Which, in our culture, is typically “go out and buy something.”

When we are grounded, we feel a sense of inner strength and peace; we feel connected to our own path, intuition and imagination. We experience more joy, and abundance, and playfulness. We return to our own vitality.

In short, I believe grounding is key ingredient in the antidote to many of our modern afflictions.

If you feel called, take 15 minutes to do this no-frills, 15-minute guided grounding meditation. See how different you can feel when you take a moment to allow your nervous system to reset and reconnect to the Earth. You can also find the meditation here on Spotify, if you prefer that format.

And if you want to dive even deeper, here are some other amazing grounding techniques:

• Go out into nature. This will always be the gold standard for grounding. “Nature” doesn’t have to be anything grand, just a pretty place with some greenery and some privacy. Just get out there, and allow Mother Earth to slow you down to her natural rhythm.

  • Extra credit: Take off your shoes and put your feet in the dirt. It’s OK if your socks end up getting dirty when you put them back on, that’s what washing machines are for.

  • Extra extra credit: It might feel silly at first, but ask a tree to teach you how to ground. There’s no one out there that’s better at it. Be open to any way that an answer might come to you.

• Lay on the ground. Sounds too intuitive to be true, but it’s crazy effective. Just pick a spot on the floor in your home and lay there, heart touching the ground either through your chest or through your back. Try it for 5-10 minutes and see how different you feel.

• Eat root vegetables. Again, sounds almost too intuitive, but if it’s edible and grows in the ground, eating it well help to ground you. Start throwing in some more carrots, potatoes, garlic, onions, ginger, etc., and watch over time how your nervous system reacts.

• Snuggle. Your person, your pet, a friend. Co-regulation and touch are such important tools to soothe our nervous systems and help us ground back into our bodies.

  • Extra credit: Practice sending down a grounding cord (like from my guided meditation) with a partner or a friend. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting next to each other or hundreds of miles away, you can imagine your roots weaving together and interlacing in the ground beneath you. Energy work only gets more powerful when done in community.

And of course, if you feel like you need more support, or that something is getting in the way of your grounding, you can always schedule a session with me.

Much love,

Drew

They hazed the shit out of me in college.

They lined us up in the basement in nothing but our underwear and hosed us down for up to 8 hours at a time, even in the winter when temperatures dropped below 40 degrees.

They made us pull our waistbands out six inches and covered our nuts in hot sauce, put it all over our chests and our backs, too, so that you couldn’t tell if you were burning up or freezing cold from the hose.

They made us lay on top of each other and pissed on us.

They filled a trash can with ice water and made us see how long we could sit in it.

They made us eat cat food, and whole jugs of mayonnaise; sardines, and raw onions.

And of course they got us black-out drunk, more times than I can count.

It was humiliating.

It was traumatizing.

And I can’t believe that I let them do it to me.

Part of me feels extreme shame allowing myself to be hazed. How was I not strong enough to walk out? To recognize it as toxic? To stand up for myself?

And a part of me feels incredible empathy for that younger version of myself.

When I look at that list of what they did to me, what I let them do to me, I think: That is how much I wanted to be loved. That is how much I wanted to be liked, even. To be accepted. To find brotherhood, to find community.

And to me it begs the question - why are we doing this to our youth?

I know it’s meant to be a rite of passage. Something like: “We went through this, so you have to go through this too, and at the end you’ll be a brother, you’ll be a man.”

But what kind of sick society comes up with (and maintains) a rite of passage that looks like this?

Compare it, for example, to the Native American vision quest. A young man or woman goes out into the wilderness for four days and four nights while fasting (i.e., drinking water only) with the intention of coming into deep communion with the land. Many walk away having had a profound experience with an aspect of mother nature that tells them something about their unique gifts, the way that they fit into the web of life. Maybe they sat with Spider, and learned that they are meant to weave webs of creative ingenuity that lead their people into new ways of being. Or maybe they connected with Wolf, and learn to become fierce defenders and teachers of the young. Or maybe they connected with Snake, and received the message to continuously shed layers of themselves like Snake sheds its skin in order to come into right relationship with the world around them. No matter what, they come away with a deeper connection to the Earth and some clues about their place in it.

I came away from my college experience with serious addictions to alcohol and nicotine that took 8 years to kick, with a side of crippling self doubt.

Or compare it to the Australian aboriginal walkabout. Young men would be sent on solo journeys through the notoriously unforgiving Australian outback for up to 6 months at a time, often given nothing more than songlines to navigate routes laid out by their ancestors. When a young man completed his journey he was recognized as a man by his community, someone able to look after himself and contribute to the wellbeing of the whole, and was given increased status and responsibilities.

I would die in a week if left out in the wild on my own, and use a GPS to navigate anywhere more than 20 min away. Through my rite of passage I learned not to trust my intuitive guidance, but to muscle through pain and ignore messages from my body.

I know my experience was a bit extreme. But what opportunities do we offer our youth to discover themselves and transition into adulthood? Their options are: four years of heavy drinking in college; going straight to work at a low-paying job; or joining the military. The lucky few take a gap year after high school and go drink their way through European hostels.

And as a result, and this may ruffle some feathers, I feel that most people in our society never actually fully transition into true adulthood. Bill Plotkin describes an adult as “Someone who understands why he is here on Earth, why he was born, and is offering his unique contribution to the more-than-human world.”

Who do you know in our society who fit this description, no matter the age?

I’m not sure what the answer is to this problem of lost rites of passage in our society, our lack of ability to nurture our youth into adulthood.

But I have some ideas, some building blocks, which I’ll put down here in the form of questions:

• What if we as adults took the brave step of hitting pause on our busy lives to pave the way for this kind of self-inquiry, as a model for our youth?

• What if we offered youth opportunities to sit with themselves and discover their unique gifts alongside our most powerful teacher, mother nature?

• What if we built this discovery process more into the fabric of society, asking young people not “what do you want to be when you grow up?” but “who are you, really? What unique gifts do you have to offer the world?”

• What if we connected youth into mentorship relationships with true adults, true elders, who could help them discover and walk their own path?

• What if we offered therapy and energy healing services to youth early, so that they might heal their childhood wounds and skip out on making so many of the same old mistakes that we made?

In short: What if we helped our youth rise rooted?

As the cover photo suggests, this piece is more of a seed for me - a conversation starter that can help me learn more about this topic and discover my own place in it. If you have feedback, or resources, or pushback, or insights, I would really love to hear them.

FYI I pulled my information on vision quests from Soulcraft by Bill Plotkin and the Animas Valley Institute website. I personally have not been on a vision quest with Animas, but I have attended one of their retreats and highly recommend them.

Here’s Part 2 of my Soulful Books list - the books that have brought me closer to myself and to Spirit. If you missed Part 1, check it out here.

7. Emptiness Dancing by Adyashanti

Review: I believe Adyashanti is true living enlightened being. This book is a collection of dharma talks that he has given at retreat sessions throughout the years. It’s one of those books that you feel more than comprehend - sometimes at the end of a chapter I’m not quite sure what I read, but I feel this glowing in my heart and this closeness to Spirit that always signifies Truth.

8. The Kin of Atta Are Waiting for You by Dorothy Bryant

Review: This one is a hidden treasure. Slight trigger warning at the beginning, as the narrator commits some horrible domestic violence to kick off the book. But then you drop into a utopian community where the entire society is set up around improving your ability to dream…

It’s great food for thought for the new world we hope to build, and I highly recommend.

9. Life of Pi by Yann Martel

Review: Don’t feel like I have to say much for this one given the popularity of the movie, other than - even if you’ve seen it on film, it is so, so, so worth it to read the book. So much nuance and commentary in there, about religion and animals and the will to survive and life. And the writing is absolutely spectacular.

10. Siddartha by Herman Hesse

Review: Very similar review as the one I provided for the Alchemist in my first post. The book is simple and straightforward, written in an engaging narrative style, and you’ll feel goosebumps all along the way.

I also love the fact that Herman Hesse had to pause while writing this book between Part II and Part III in order to live alone in the mountains for a couple years and touch enlightenment, before he felt like he could write about it.

11. Old Path, White Clouds by Thich Nhat Hanh

Review: This book feels like getting a hug the entire time you’re reading it, which will be for a while, because it’s quite long. It’s Tich’s straightforward, low-frills telling of the story of the Buddha in narrative form - how he came to enlightenment and built his sangha, the people he touched along the way, and the main tenets of the teachings of Buddhism. It’s soft and slow and such a joy to come home to in our face-paced world.

12. The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin

Review: My partner’s favorite book of all time, and I love just as much. It’s a science fiction novel that follows a brilliant physicist who was raised in a utopian anarchist society as he tries to bridge the gap between his world and their sister planet, which looks very much like our own. There are tons of new-paradigm seeds in this story that have planted themselves firmly in my subconscious. And Ursula Le Guin in general is a must-read for any science fiction lover - I’d recommend The Left Hand of Darkness as well.

13. The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

Review: This is the book you’re handed at the front door on your first day of polyamory school. But I honestly think anyone would benefit from reading it - if not cover to cover, then at least skipping around in it and reading the parts that intrigue (or horrify) you. The book is written on the radical premise that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you, and that these are parts of life to be sought after and celebrated, not to feel ashamed of. As I read it I felt a huge weight come off my chest and lots of moments of “Wait - yeah! It should be that way!” Very liberating book, which is what I’m after.

14. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

Review: Whether or not you’re into Stephen King’s stuff, I feel like any writer would benefit from reading this book. It’s part personal memoir and part King giving us an inside look at his writing process. It’s a bit masculine in flavor for my liking, to be honest (that’s how you churn out 65 novels in about as many years), but I’ve incorporated many of his tools and approaches into my own writing process.

What did I miss?

I would loveeeee to hear some of your favorite books of all time. Drop them in the comments below.

I put together a list of my favorite soulful books, the ones that helped guide my way over the last five years or so of healing.

These are my Best of the Best - books that stand alone in terms of their authenticity, accessibility, and unique message & voice. You’ll see that there’s a wide range in terms of genre: from science fiction novels, to self-help books, to short-story anthologies, to books about creativity and writing.

I’m going to publish the list in a couple of parts for digestibility, but if you’re impatient and want to skip ahead, either zoom in on the cover photo or check out The Golden Thread Resource Library. All of my books recommendations are there, plus recs from my Golden Thread collaborators Olivia and Eloise.

1. Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche by Bill Plotkin

Review: Soulcraft is perhaps my favorite book I’ve ever read, and certainly the most impactful. It served as a sort of jet fuel for me during my first year of spiritual seeking - I remember slowing myself down to make it last longer, and always seemed to open to just the right page to receive the wisdom I needed at that moment. Bill Plotkin is a true living elder, and I highly recommend his books and his programs at the Animas Valley Institute to anyone seeking a nature-based path to healing their wounds and discovering their purpose.

2. Wild Seed by Octavia Butler

Review: I’m a little obsessed with the concepts of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, and I’ve never seen them as clearly portrayed as in this novel. Doro is an ancient spirit with boundless powers, possessing humans and killing without remorse as he jumps from body to body to sustain his own life. He’s immortal, so he spends his time traveling the world and breeding humans with supernatural powers into beings that at least might resemble him. He knows no equal until he meets Anyanwu, who can heal with a bite and transform her own body, mending injuries and reversing aging. She uses her powers to cure her neighbors and birth entire tribes, surrounding herself with kindred who both fear and respect her. The mixing of the two is horrifying, and magical, and fuckin’ well worth the read.

3. The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity by Steven Kessler

Review: This is the book that I think of when I hear the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover.” On the outside it looks like any self-help book that your dad might get you to read, but inside it is fucking brilliant - the best psychology book that I have ever read. Kessler mixes human development psychology with energetics in such a powerful, truthful way that I think this should be required reading for anyone on a spiritual healing journey.

The basic premise is that most humans will go into one of 5 survival patterns when they are distressed: leaving, merging, enduring, aggressive or rigid. Which pattern you go into is coded into you by things you did / did not receive during the early stages of your development. The book will help you diagnose yourself and give you real strategies for how to break out of that pattern in order to spend more time with your real self.

4. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Review: I might catch some hate for this one but I loved The Alchemist, especially for the time in which I read it, right near the beginning of my spiritual journey. Sometimes, so much more can be said in short, simple fiction than in any nonfiction format.

The Alchemist is a novel about a young shepherd named Santiago who follows his recurring dream of finding treasure near the Egyptian pyramids on his way to discovering his Personal Legend. It’s easy to read, beautiful in its symbolism, and will give you the shivers several times over as you read it.

5. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

Review: As a writer, this book was such a boon to me when I was just starting out. It’s structured as a full 12-week curriculum that guides you through the process of getting in touch with your creative energy. To be totally honest I only made it to week 7 or 8, but I have integrated some of the central tenets (e.g., Morning Pages, where you get up and write three stream-of-consciousness pages every morning) into my daily / weekly practice. I credit this book and the exercises it assigned with helping me snap into honesty and integrity as a writer.

6. Exhalation by Ted Chiang

Review: Mix some short stories into your life! And there is no better place to start than with Ted Chiang - he’s brilliant. Many of his stories lean towards science fiction, but in a way that’s really thoughtful and deep and has a lot to say about life and spirituality. His other book Stories of Your Life and Others is just as good - the titular piece Stories of Your Life was the basis for the movie Arrival, which got my brother excited enough to read it.

What did I miss?

I would loveeeee to hear your best-of-the-best book selections, your favorites of all time. Drop the title, author, and a short review (like mine) in the comments below and who knows, maybe I’ll feature them in another post.

As an introvert, I tend to operate outside the thrum of summer.

I’ll drive by all of the social events – two or three a weekend here in Richmond, Virginia – on my way to sit by the river, or shoot some hoops, or head out to the mountains.

Every couple weeks or so, my partner or an extroverted friend will invite me out to a shindig. And I’ll go. And I’ll love it. And I’ll be so excited when it’s time to head back home and collapse into bed.

And at one or two of these events per year I’ll meet someone who I really connect with, one of those “I recognize your soul” kind of people. And my community will grow.

I love this slow, patient life.

I’m very excited to announce that my shamanic teacher & mentor Rami (pictured above) will be leading a 5-month Online Energy Medicine Training starting on July 8th, and has asked me to be his assistant teacher!

This is the same apprenticeship program that I went through three years ago that radically transformed my life. Rami is a gift — he’s been walking the shamanic healing path for over 18 years now, and his medicine is deep and profound while at the same time being silly and joyful. Going through his program helped me (quickly) heal old wounds and gave me the tools and the confidence to step into my role as a healer.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be on the other side of things this time around, helping other healers discover and walk their own path.

I’m writing this to share an exciting development in my own journey, but also to let you know about the program in case you or someone you know might be interested in joining our cohort. You can follow this link to learn more, or click the button below to schedule a free consultation call with Rami. Just leave a note as you’re signing up if you would like me to join the consultation call as well.

Book Your Free Consultation

My unsolicited advice: if you feel the call, don’t run from it. I heard about Rami’s apprenticeship program through a friend one-week before it started, and had major reservations based on timing and whether or not I was “ready” for it. But I was ready, and joining ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Sent with much love,

Drew

I am very excited to launch my new brand and website: Soul Mirror | Shamanic Healing, Coaching & Reiki.

I named my practice Soul Mirror to keep the focus where it belongs: on you and your healing journey. I serve as a humble guide, reflecting back your beauty, your power, and your potential. My goal is to provide deep, lasting energetic healing for folks on the way to a more healed and balanced world.

You may be a good candidate for shamanic healing if:

• You are going to therapy, but seem to keep running up against the same old walls.

• You feel the need to constantly distract yourself with your phone, work, food, substances, in order to not feel… something.

• You’re feeling the pull towards something deeper, some sense of purpose or belonging.

Shamanism can help to get you unstuck by opening a doorway for you to step into a new way of being. It’s considered a rapid spiritual path, the path of fire, and it’s amazing to see how fast things can shift after just a session or two.

So check out my website, and let’s do some work together if it feels right! I’m booked through the end of May, but I just opened my calendar for June.

Sent with lots of love,

Drew

If these walls could talk
they would tell you:
I was not made for this place.

I was not made for the endless doing,
the endless striving.
For the products that yell from shelves
or the people who hate
indiscriminately.

I was not made for the time that comes after.
For the violence, the looting.
Every man for himself,
protect the family at all costs,
build walls, close borders.

I live side-by-side with those
from the distant future,
our children’s children.
They whisper to me
and give me strength
even now, when they know what is to come.

There, we live together in a place of plenty.
Not of wealth, or goods, or even food,
but of spirit, of brotherhood,
of love.

We walk here with you now
to show you this new way is possible.
Because it already exists,
living beside us today,
in this place.

I have a confession:
I don’t really like reading poetry.

And I consider myself a poet.
How can that be?

More often than not,
I find the poems I come across
to be inaccessible, unable to be grasped.
The language is too flowery,
the concepts too esoteric.

If I read through a whole poem
and end by saying
”what the fuck was that about?”
I’m not going to go back for a second time
to read it again.
Sorry, not sorry.

I like poetry that uses plain language.
I like poetry that relates the poet’s experience directly,
without hiding behind flowery words
or turns of phrase.

I love these poems,
that I share with you here.
They speak to me on a deep level.

If you read or listen to these poems,
and come back to me afterwards
to tell me you don’t like poetry,
I will believe you.

These are my Best of the Best:

1. Onto a Vast Plain - written by Ranier Maria Rilke (my favorite poet), translated and read by Joanna Macy

2. The Man Watching - written by Ranier Maria Rilke and translated by Robert Bly

3. Wild Geese - written and read by Mary Oliver

4. Transubstantiation - written by Molly McCully Brown, read and analyzed by Pádraig Ó Tuama (check out his podcast, Poetry Unbound)

5. Lost - written by David Wagoner, read and analyzed by Pádraig Ó Tuama

6. An Honorable Human Relationship - quote from Adrienne Rich

7. Love is Best When Mixed with Anguish - quote from Rumi

8. Sweet Darkness - written and read by David Whyte

Please,
share your own favorite poems
in the comments.

In November, I went to Peru. It was meant to be the first leg of a four-month sabbatical, where I would find a country that felt like home and fulfill a lifelong dream of living abroad.

I was traveling with my friend Garren and his family - his mother Cindy, his wife Erin and their 9-month old son Rio, and Erin’s brother Scott. They had to assure me several times I wasn’t crashing a family function.

We spent the first week of the trip in mountains - Cusco and Pisac, the Sacred Valley and Machu Picchu, connecting with the energy of Grandfather Sky. I fell in love with the people and the peace that I found there, and with the beautiful patterns displayed on every street corner that felt strangely familiar.

For the second half of the trip, we went into the Amazon jungle. Right into the heart of our Mother Earth, Pachamama.

I came to the retreat center for ayahuasca. And ayahuasca delivered - the three ceremonies with Grandmother Aya over my 11 days in the jungle were life-changing.

But by far the most impactful experience came from a different plant medicine - mapacho, a sacred local tobacco unique to the Amazon.

I was prescribed a mapacho dieta upon intake to the retreat center to help get me out of my head and into my body. What that looked like in practice was, for four days around 8am, I would wake up and drink the most vile liquid I have ever ingested (think: tobacco mixed with raw garlic). Then, anywhere from three minutes to one hour later, I would throw up, releasing my toxins and delusions along with my breakfast.

And it worked. By the fourth day I was lying in bed in the near-pitch Peruvian darkness (no electricity in our huts) and my mind had slowed to a snail’s pace.

I rolled over and fell asleep for a minute - or an hour, or two hours - and when I woke up, my mind was completely clear. For the first time in my life, not a thought in sight. Just an empty, vast plain of consciousness.

I almost rolled over and went back to sleep, but something told me to just lie there. So I did. On my back, looking up through my mosquito netting at the wooden planks of the roof, the sounds of the jungle surrounding me.

And then, out of nowhere, came a vision:

I am in the lower world, the collective subconscious, standing before Huascar, the great gatekeeper of the underworld.

He shakes his head “no” and flicks his wrists towards me, outwards, as if shooing away a dog.

And with this movement, the picture fractures.

The view is now from the top of a mountain, slowly circling above, counterclockwise.

At the top of the mountain is a shaman, beating his drum, projecting his voice out widely for all to hear.

As the view moves down the mountain, it becomes clear that the land below is divided in half.

On the left side, there is darkness. It looks as if thousands of bats are rising up from the ground, frothing.

On the right side, there is light.

A white man is at the bottom of the mountain on the right side, helping to shepherd people up onto the slopes, to safety.

The bats from the left are encroaching, and it feels like at any moment they could sweep over and devour the light.

A woman’s voice, singing, holds the darkness at bay, and gives time for more folks to get up the mountain.

That was it. It came and went in a minute, with my eyes open, staring at the roof of my hut.

But it completely changed my life, in ways that I’m only just starting to comprehend.

At once, like a hundred arrows all pointing in the same direction, I knew it was time to stop running and to move home to Richmond. It was clear to me that some kind of darkness was coming, soon, and that I needed to be home with my family when it came.

I felt an immense amount of grief for my dead dream of living abroad, but overpowering that was a profound sense of duty and purpose.

With the way things are moving with domestic and international politics, climate change, an impending financial crisis, etc., I believe we have three more years living in the world we know before we witness some kind of major societal collapse, at least in the United States.

It’s going to be painful. A lot of people are going to die. We need to be prepared.

But even more important than planning for the apocalypse is dreaming about what comes after.

In the high Andes of Peru, one of the shaman’s most sacred duties is to help to dream a new world into being.

What kind of world do we want to live in when the fires have burned away and the ashes have been cleared? What does this new world look like? What does it feel like?

Here’s what I see. But we need your help to build on it and to make it real.

I imagine a collective society, where we live in groups of 20 to 50 to 200 and look after our own, in loving connection.

I imagine a world where everyone is deeply connected to nature and initiated into their purpose by Pachamama, based in their divine gifts. Community feels like a dance, almost uncoordinated but beautiful, with folks moving past each other performing their sacred duty to the whole.

Individuals are deeply rested, imaginative, and creative as a way of life.

Love is practiced openly and honestly. Everyone lives in abundance of love and sex and intimacy, loving who they love now, as they see them, without shame.

Communities are led by true elders - deeply embodied beings, who are likely to be indigenous or people of color.

Death is a part of life. The elderly (and the young alike) are cared for by a network of people who love them.

Truth reigns supreme, and is recognized as the ultimate kindness.

If you hear skepticism, either from inside yourself or from others, say: we are planting these seeds for our children’s children, knowing full well we may never sit in their shade.

It may have to all burn down.

But if we could live in this way, won’t it be worth it?

Ok, so this what I’ve got so far:

I think I’m about 15% gay.

I’ve only done a little bit of experimenting. I met a couple in Seattle at a play party, and we hooked up a couple of times. I seemed to like it better when she was down there than when he was, but he may have just not been my type - I’ve learned I’m more into athletic dudes.

As for porn, I learned that once I got over the “ew fucking gross don’t let me look at that” barrier, bi, gay and trans porn turns me on just as much as the straight stuff. So I sprinkle it in every once in a while for flavor / variety.

And that’s about all I’ve got. For now.

And I think that’s OK.

I have felt so massively, incredibly, undeniably liberated by exploring my sexuality over the past couple years.

As a white man from the Midwest, gay wasn’t an option. We played a football game called “Smear the Queer” in the backyard from the time we were about six. We called each other fags up through high school.

And the message wasn’t only “don’t be attracted to men.” It was “don’t do anything that someone might interpret as gay.” This could mean something different to everyone you meet. Safest just to close it all down.

Opening to my gayness has given me back so many beautiful things. Buying myself roses every time I go to Trader Joes. Watching Disney movies and crying while hugging my stuffed bear. Epsom salt baths with candles. Dinner dance parties to Lizzo and Chapelle Roan. Allowing my body to move more naturally, and using different intonations in my voice to perform and tell stories.

Parts of me still get scared and constrict every time I share about my sexuality. Scared that men will be uncomfortable and won’t accept me. Scared that women won’t be attracted to me anymore. And something deeper than that - some kind of generational trauma that makes me feel like I might be lynched.

But it gets easier every time. And every single time I’ve shared, someone has come forward to say that they (or their partner or their friend) has been having these kinds of thoughts too, and don’t feel like they have anyone to talk to about it.

So this is my coming out message, I guess? It seems a little bit silly to need to “come out” with something as fluid and nonbinary as sexuality. Something that could change in a year, or tomorrow, or when I meet a person that brings a new part of me alive.

But it feels good to share with you like this. Half-baked. A little sloppy. I feel like that’s what true vulnerability is - sharing something that isn’t fully cooked, that you haven’t worked out perfectly. Inviting people in to your process.

I saw an amazing tweet a while back that said “I’m never coming out to anyone ever again. If you can’t tell that I’m a little gay, then that’s on you.”

Happy pride ya’ll.

Love,

Drew

I offer life coaching and shamanic healing sessions. If you resonated with this post and would like someone to talk to, click the button below to set up some time for us to connect.

Schedule a Free Discovery Call

Hey there! My name is Drew and I’m a shamanic practitioner living in Richmond, Virginia.

Are you:

• constantly distracting yourself with work, phone, food, or substances in order to ‘numb out’ and not have to feel… something?

• going to therapy, but seem to be running up against the same old walls?

• feeling the gentle pull towards some deeper sense of purpose?

Let’s do some work together.

Schedule a Shamanic Healing Session

About Me

I had a pretty wonderful childhood growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio, but suffered a mental/physical/spiritual crisis by the time I hit my third year at the University of Virginia. I was majorly depressed and spent weeks at a time isolating in my room; developed serious addictions to alcohol and nicotine; and even experienced states of mania and mild psychosis.

I was fortunate enough to come across some spiritual guides and approaches that put me back on my path. Meditation and somatic therapy helped me to rest, get sober, and get out of my head and back into my body. Writing, tarot, and wandering in nature allowed me to reconnect to my intuition and vital life source. And shamanism lit me on fire, helping me connect to my power, reframe my narrative and step into my purpose as a healer.

I still have plenty of work to do on my own healing journey, but I would be honored to share some of the tools that worked for me and be your humble guide as you discover your own path.

What is Shamanism?

Shamanism is an ancient energy healing tradition that can be found in indigenous cultures all over the world. The lineage that I am a part of comes from the Q’ero Indians of the high Andes of Peru, the last descendants of the Incas. While shamanism may sound new and ‘out there’ to people in the US, other cultures have been using these approaches for thousands of years to heal their people from mental and emotional problems.

I love shamanism because it helps us move beyond the level of mind and personal stories to address trauma where it is really stored - in the body and in the energy field. Come to a shamanic practitioner with an issue in your life and we will help to follow it back to the source, heal it on the energetic level, and open a doorway for you to step into a new way of being. Shamanism is considered a rapid spiritual path, the path of fire, and it’s amazing to see how fast someone’s life can change after just a couple of sessions.

What Can I Expect from a Session?

Shamanic energy healing sessions last about an hour. For the first part of the session we’ll chat about your intention, or what brought you in to see me. For the remainder of the session we’ll work in sacred healing space to move energy and address the root cause of the issue. When working with a new client, it’s recommended that we start with three sessions:

1. Illumination: An illumination is a process of identifying where an issue lives in your energy field and removing it through directed energy flow and guided meditation techniques.

2. Extraction: An extraction is similar to removing splinters or toxins from your energy field. Just as you would remove a physical splinter to prevent infection, we extract harmful energies or attachments that may prevent you from embodying your true self.

3. Soul Retrieval: Sometimes, when you experience a trauma or a challenge in life, a piece of you breaks off in order to keep you safe. In a soul retrieval, I go on a journey to retrieve that piece for you and reintegrate it into the whole.

Of course you could choose to do just one session, or many sessions - everyone needs something different. I also tend to mix in some techniques from somatic psychotherapy, Hakomi and Internal Family Systems as the need arises. I have three beautiful tarot decks and will pull cards for any clients who are interested.

Please note that all offerings are just as effective when done virtually as in-person!

OFFERINGS

An important concept in shamanism is what the Q’ero call “ayni,” or sacred reciprocity. This means providing an equal energetic exchange in all things that you do - giving in the order of what you have received.

I believe the following offerings are in ayni - fairly compensating me for the time and energy I put into the work, while offering multiple tiers of support, knowing that different folks have different resources. That being said, I never want cost to be the factor that prevents an important connection. Please reach out to me at dgsouders@gmail.com if you would like request special accommodations, or if you’d like to schedule a time to connect prior to booking a session.

Shamanic Healing Session - $175 for 1 hour

We will work together to identify a root cause of an issue you’re facing, follow it back to where it lives in your body and in your energy field, heal it, and open a doorway to help you step into a new way of being.

Book a Shamanic Healing Session

Coaching & Integration Session - $125 for 1 hour

I’ll act as a humble guide to help you step into your power and your purpose, pulling from the traditions of Shamanism, Zen, Somatic Psychotherapy, Hakomi, Internal Family Systems, and more.

This may also be a great option for folks who have done a shamanic healing session and need a touchpoint to help them integrate new energies, perspectives, and/or soul pieces into their lives.

Book a Coaching Session

Liberated Life Package - $600 $599

Ready to take a deep dive and transform your life? With the Liberated Life Package, you will receive:

• Three (3) Shamanic Healing sessions

• Two (2) 45-minute Coaching & Integration sessions

That’s a $600 value, offered at $499.

Let’s move together towards a more liberated life.

Purchase the Liberated Life Package

Reiki Session - $100 for 1 hour

Not sure about shamanic healing, but want to experience energy work? Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It’s a nice, soft entry point into energy work that can also be incredibly powerful and transformative.

Schedule a Reiki Session

TESTIMONIALS

Hima Abu-Sitta - Buffalo, New York: “Over the past 15 years, I’ve worked with numerous healing and shamanic practitioners, but my time with Drew stands out in a profound way. From our very first session, I felt an immediate sense of safety and love in his presence. Drew’s non-judgmental approach creates a sacred space where true healing can unfold.

Through his guidance, I’ve not only healed deep mental and emotional wounds but also experienced significant physical healing. His intuitive insights and compassionate care have been a beacon of light on my journey. I’m deeply grateful for the transformative work we’ve done together. Drew is a gifted healer and a true blessing to anyone seeking deep, authentic healing.”

Frank Krueger - Santa Cruz, California: “Drew has this way of creating a space that feels both grounding and liberating. Imagine a full day of relaxing in saunas, deep conversations, and getting a massage. That level of relaxation, but make it last. It wasn't just a fleeting moment of peace; it was a profound ease I worked to weave into my everyday life for weeks afterward. Drew's work isn't a band-aid solution; it's more like embarking on a journey to peel back layers and really get to the heart of what's going on beneath the surface.”

Maria Cooper - San Diego, California: “My time with Drew was EXACTLY what I wanted and needed. He is deeply intentional with how he approaches each session and made me feel at ease before beginning. Drew created a safe container that allowed me to receive the messages that I was needing to hear, and continued to hold that space for me afterwards as I processed what came to the surface. To this day, I am still journaling about what we discussed in our session. I feel so lucky that this type of work is available and I cannot recommend Drew enough!!! Truly a beautiful and expansive experience from start to finish.”