The Lunar Eclipse was calling to me.

Luckily our pampered cat had decided to take on the duty of waking me up so I could take part in the event.

Donning a bathrobe and my husband’s wellies I trekked down to the middle of the field where we live. I had to get the view past a row of trees so it was more than a middle of the night stumble.

And then I saw her. Awe struck.

I felt home.

It wasn’t about questioning what I needed to let go or wondering how to use the eclipse energy that hung in the air. It wasn’t an intellectual experience.

Rather, I let her just wash over me and remind me what I’m about.

The moon has always been my connection space.

I used to call it the eye of God growing up, she watched me. She kept me safe.

My mom is a star gazer. The moon isn’t her zone.

My husband doubts the moon is even what they say it is.

But my moon, she’s a reminder of some deep sense of myself and I won’t hear anything said against her.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my beliefs and the language of spirit lately.

We attended another festival last weekend, a yoga camp with some hindu and hara krishna influence.
There were lots of Bhajan or Kirtans taking place, which are sanskrit mantras sung by anyone attending. They can be incredibly beautiful and moving.

My husband loves them. He rides the rhythms, savors the sounds and lyrics. It’s a full mind, body, spirit experience for him.

In some ways I think I’m envious.

It’s an old loneliness.
A reminder of a time when I would see family and friends attend church and feel fulfilled by the experience.

A reminder of the times when I worked so hard to find belonging in communities, but always felt like an outsider looking in through a glass wall.

Something never seemed to land.

I always feel like I have to trim off some edges somewhere.

When I was in university studying Religious Studies I worked endlessly to find my belonging.

In fact, funnily enough, I was decisions away from choosing to become Hindu.

I liked the Bhagavad Gita. I loved the concept of Dharma. Certain things rang true.

But culturally I knew it wasn’t me.

My professor finally told me I was a mystic.

It wasn’t about fitting into a group… it was about following my own relationship with the divine.

I had to give up the quest of belonging and the envy died along with the pursuit of fitting in.

How strange for it to re-emerge during this eclipse season.

It felt like somehow I was choosing the mystic path again and taking my journey deeper still.

Eclipses are known for the emergence of things to let go.

They mark a new chapter, and often the end of the old one is bumpy.

Over the last few weeks I’ve witnessed a lot of bumpy chapters.

From witnessing my daughter move in with her girlfriend (and a number of mishaps and unexpected expenses stack up as they navigate a new chapter) or my other daughter getting 3 different car related bills in 24 hours.

I’ve worked with clients who have discovered new love and had old relationships fade away.

I’ve seen others finish trainings and navigate the next steps of their career.

Nasty exes have become nastier just before drifting away for some of my clients or their family members have acted in ways that were once unimagined.

I’ve also supported a deepening of self for clients.

Like a lightbulb coming on that reminds them of who they are and who they can be.

Somewhere, somehow, each bump in the road, has jolted them into a new, clearer version of themselves.

But the polar of that is the fact that I’ve heard people talk about the world feeling heavier the last few weeks.

At my mindfulness class yesterday I heard people mention the news, Nepal, hurting.

“Dolly Parton has passed.” Summed it up for one woman.

Yes. The world isn’t as bright without her, it’s true.

But the shadow has passed over the moon now.

The closing of the eclipse season leaves us asking deeper questions than a few weeks ago.

It would be so easy for me to weave myself into the kirtan world my husband loves so much.

I’m a singer from a young age. Singing is in my soul. So singing for spiritual connection, even if in Sanskrit makes sense, right?

I’ve puzzled around it, asking myself if maybe my own stubbornness kept me separate of his passion instead of just jumping in.

But as I looked at the moon at 4am, I remembered my inner calling of personal spiritual experience isn’t just something I can drum up or experience in a group.

My relationship with Spirit is a flowing within me.
Groups create an outward energy for me. I absorb from others.

I can’t find the golden light I can sense ready to flood through me.

Slow and calm ground me as I’m often bubbly in my interactions in groups.

I decided long ago that my personal path of God, my practical, magical, sometimes messy spiritual practices would be integrated into the fabric of me.

It is me.

Last week, sitting in a field with a friend talking about spiritual experience, he turned to me and said “I think you have to accept you’re a channel, Christina.”

Shoot. It felt a bit like being back in the office of my religious studies professor. Like something I’ve been pushing aside finally needed to be claimed.

Not sure if I was ready for that form of reassurance, to be honest.

Oh sure, energy healings with clients can sometimes hold messages from loved ones. I’ve worked with angels, and Archangel Michael connected me with the love of my life. In workshops or sessions I can trust that if I plug in to Source energy first then the right words will tumble out of my mouth.

And yeah… my psychic abilities are getting more finetuned this year.

But my whole belief system centres on the fact I believe anyone can do the same.

Everyone has access to their soul family and guides.

Everyone can invite in the light.

There are no gurus.

A lot of corners of the spiritual world a guru focus. My husband doesn’t resonate with that either.

I don’t believe in gurus and I don’t want to be a guru for others either.

I have started to wonder if this is another way I bump up against religion in any form.

When I was a child I attended church with my sisters and mom.

By 5 years old I insisted on wearing a hat. There was no way just because they called themselves a minister a strange man was touching my head, even if it was for a blessing.

Also, it gave me something to play with while I was waiting to sing the next hymn.

I bashed that thing into a wicked Cowboy Hat every Sunday.

I spent a lot of time mad at the rules of service.

I looked a lot like my older sister who had already been confirmed. I refused to go to classes in order to receive communion which seemed like a human right if it was what it was cracked up to be.

One Sunday, I gave the minister a panic attack when he’d given me wine thinking I was my sibling.

I’m not ashamed to admit, I felt so satisfied.

Because I always believed there was no gurus.

There’s no shortcuts to God and no gatekeepers either.

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience.

We can learn from others. There’s always more tools to practice, more hiccups to heal, but our hearts need to lead.

If there’s one thing we’ve learnt recently is that gurus are humans… and often dramatically flawed.

When I was 20 and deep in my spiritual journey, I read Deepak Chopra’s book How To Know God.

This was in the 90s. We now know he wasn’t exactly living his highest self alignment.

But the book’s contents transformed my life.

It supported my mystical journey and made things click into place.

Sometimes people find a connection to the river of knowledge and allow it to flow through them. It doesn’t mean they listen to it themselves.

The journey of self.

Each of us have our own river of knowledge to flow with. We each have to find our own golden compass, our own north star, our own spiritual voice and inner connection to the Source that creates worlds.

Mine isn’t the same as yours and that’s ok.

In fact, it’s just the way it’s meant to be.

Messages out of the woodwork started to emerge, comments started to appear, all saying the same thing: Thank you for sharing. I feel so seen.

It got me thinking about how often we hold back the stories of ourselves or our pasts.

We keep little parts of our true selves hidden for fear of not belonging and how we really have it backwards!

In my upcoming book I talk a fair amount around the fear of not belonging.

We are social beings, on some level we are part of the animal kingdom (I mean I hope we aren’t vegetable or mineral!) and as such we find safety in packs. Until we don’t.

A sense of belonging has been a quest of mine in some form or another all my life.

I think I had believed I’d given it up, but every time I returned to just belonging to myself and my Source some other possible club or community would emerge.

However, I have come to believe that true belonging can only come when you are true to yourself first.

You have to come whole as yourself, no corners shaved off to fit in, in order to attract the people who you truly belong with.

It can be difficult.

I look back over my life and my experience is peppered with the craving to belong, to feel seen and understood.

It started with family as it always does. As children we have bundles of emotions we barely understand ourselves, but we crave to be seen and understood by the people we love first and foremost.

Of course family will always bring in your past, we can’t help it.

Family has seen us at every stage of our lives and we all have to fight the urge to assume our child’s favorite color is still pink like it was when they were 5 instead of 25.

The stories that are told around us as children create a filter over our true selves, especially since we are continually growing and changing as we grow. It can be difficult for our families to keep up with our expansion in a short period of time. So we start to trim the edges a little, just to fulfill the expectation imposed on us. We navigate becoming the person that will keep us in good grace, not in trouble and keeping the peace.

It’s a natural part of parenting and growing up. But it’s important to be consciously aware of your sense of true belonging in your family.

For me, the next stop was spiritually, even though for most teens it is how they belong in their friend group.

As a homeschooler before the age of homeschooling groups, I spent my time with the 65+ crowd in amateur theatre groups or church choirs.

The nag for me was the fact that being involved with the church felt like a filter to something beyond and I couldn’t speak about it to anyone.

If I was singing to divine God I felt in deep alignment. But when someone started to talk in the service or even worse say I wasn’t allowed to take part in certain aspects of a service because I wasn’t “ready” it felt like a jigsaw puzzle gone wrong. My heart hurt and again I tried to trim edges to my square to belong to a place I was told I needed to earn my way in.

My connection to spirit, to Source, to angels and nature was my life force. Lying in the hammock as a child staring up at the trees made more sense to me than reading passages about the past. I felt guided by the moon.

I belonged with the birds.

I would read stories of people who felt that same connection, and yet in the world around me I found myself on the outside looking in.

I used to say I had a glass wall between me and the world and whenever I tried to connect I’d just bang into it.

I studied religious studies in my twenties and tried a number of beliefs on until finally my professor told me to ditch the quest. “You’re a mystic Christina.” He said. Basically telling me I’d never belong because my connection was with the unseen.

I felt free and alone at the same time.

The journey was long and winding and too much for a Substack post.

But belonging popped up in so many places since then.

Trying to belong in parenting clubs, or homeschooling groups, looking to belong in writer groups or theatre groups.

Luckily I found my soulmate in my husband so we have a bridge that transcends even belonging we just are each others.

A few weeks ago we were at a festival in Wales, working in a healing field area surrounded by fellow healers.

That was maybe the closest I’ve ever felt as seen.

I could speak about my truth and be held in it, not just pacified or half heard.

New friendships are emerging, but one thing keeps coming back into the picture.

Me. My experience. My source connection. My Capacity. My Truth.

And the honesty around that.

While my husband and I are soulmates, woven together like a tight fabric, we experience Source differently than each other. We often just say its the masculine vs the feminine of it all. I’m a moon gal, he’s a sun guy.

At the festival he went to the “kirtan” tent consistently.

A Kirtan is a mantra sing along basically. Often created around a sanskrit mantra, they are a meditative experience which takes you on, what my husband describes as, “an Upward Spiral”. It can turn rather ecstatic or frenzied depending on who is singing.

I have to say… it’s not my thing.

Which is funny as I did consider converting to Hinduism in my 20s.

I sometimes think it’s just because I like singing in my own language.

I can’t help it. I used to be a musical theatre performer. I love acting out a song and holding a deep intention from words.

So sitting in the circle which brings my husband a sense of deep connection can actually bring on my fight or flight response.

The other night when we attended one I literally felt myself ready to bolt out the tent.

I LOVE getting older.

Years ago I would have looked at what edges I needed to trim off so I could sit there with my husband. I would want to belong. I would want to connect with his community and make them my own.

Now, I can take a breath, reconnect to my truth and say “I love you so much and I love this for you so much. I’ll be outside sitting under the moon with my Source and guides.”

Mister Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers Neighborhood fame once said You can’t love other people until you love yourself.

I believe that fully.

I now stretch it.

You can’t belong within a group of others until you belong to yourself.

So back to the birth story and the feelings of belonging it brought from those who read it.

I see you.

Thank you for creating a circle with me. For giving me a sense of belonging where I felt I was alone.

We need to tell our stories.

We all need to find the bravery to be our whole selves in whatever stories we need to share.

Because then, then we find the circle where we can truly belong.

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It’s the first time one of our children’s birthdays have not seen them at home for at least some of the day.

I’m seizing the opportunity though, rather than be nostalgic, today is a healing day.

Because you see, the day of her birth has a shadow side, a space within my heart I rarely poke at and I never dare think about on her birthday usually, in case I start to cry on a celebration for her life experience.

So, for the last 23 years we’ve celebrated, we’ve partied, we’ve honored the amazing, brilliant, vibrant girl, and young woman she is.

This year, I’m honoring the young woman I was when she appeared into our lives.

I was 24 when I had our first daughter.

10 months later, our second daughter made her arrival.

Her conception, on that fateful New Years Eve, might have been a surprise, but we knew right away, felt the magic of the moment, and basically told the angels, “You’ve got this!”

Family reactions weren’t quite as magical.

Of course, that’s maybe understandable. With my husband’s immigration to Canada still needed to be sorted at the time, we were living at my parents house with very little.

But we were in love, and we were welcoming, eager for the universe to shine a light on a path.

The pregnancy went easily enough.

Funnily our doctor lived next door so we felt safe and taken care of.

Until August 14th.

It was about 5 weeks before her due date.
Our first daughter had been born without any issue, so the back pain I started to feel was put down to picking up a girl who was maybe getting too heavy for me.

I went to bed. The back pain got worse.

Honestly, I could feel the eye rolls from people.

For some reason, it was assumed I was overreacting. I still don’t know why.

Finally, after my husband realised the back rubs weren’t helping, he called next door and my doctor popped by… before she headed for the beach.

It was a really hot day.

I can still see her standing at the end of our bed, asking me questions as a fan blew on my face.

She said it was just braxton hicks pains, and left.

It was only when talking to my 12 year old niece a few weeks later and she asked if the doctor had checked if I was dilating, that I realised things had not been dealt with properly.

It was probably two hours after the doctor had left that I went to the bathroom and realised a baby was crowning.

I rushed to the bed and my husband delivered her into his arms.

She was at my breast in no time. A rush a relief, of ease, of peace. Connection. My husband and I looked at each other and her in awe.

And then 15 firefighters stormed into the room.

Did you know they often call the fire department first when you call 911 in Canada.

Well 23 years ago they did anyway after my family made the call.

15 firefighters. One baby, one naked me and a confused husband who didn’t know who to kick out or cover first.

Then the paramedics came.

At first it was a congratulations. Then the fan was blowing and suddenly our daughter’s breathing was questioned.

Next thing I know I’m being put on a stretcher, carried scarily down three flights of stairs, our daughter finally given back to my husband and us all piling into an ambulance.

They tried to put an iv in me, assuming I hadn’t kept hydrated… meanwhile the ambulance bounced along so they kept missing.

But the true nightmare began when we got into ER.

Our daughter was grabbed from our arms and while I asked about our birth plan we were bluntly told that was all out of the window. This was an emergency.

We tried to say it really wasn’t.

They said we should have come in right away.

I fought signing a document giving them full rights.

They said I was killing our daughter.

I begged them to not give Vit K or antibiotics. I had been on a good diet, my vit K was great. She was fine.

I was told that my religious objection (which I hadn’t said I had. I was using logic) was nonsense and that “Matthew himself was a doctor so I should trust them.” (Yes. That was said)

Even in my state I knew I was being gaslit and I was scared.

My husband bounced between our daughter and me.

Finally they put her in an incubator and I was put in a room.

My poor husband had to get back to our 10 month year old who had been being taken care of by my family and wondering what was going on.

So that night I lay in bed… staring at my flat stomach, in deep pain and deeper heartache, trying to distract myself with Pride and Prejudice which happened to be on TV.

I had initially refused pain meds for the after birth pain which had received another eye roll. But it finally got too bad. I rang and rang for some support that night, but when none came I finally hauled myself out of bed and went to the desk.

Nurses hanging out together told me they’d bring me something… another eye roll to boot.

And so a new version of me was being born.

This deep settling in my bones of feeling on the outside of things.

I wasn’t seen by the outside world. I felt treated like an idiot, irresponsible for listening to my heart and trusting my soul.

I was cast out.

I didn’t belong in the world I thought I knew.

We would visit our daughter in the ICU multiple times a day.
We’d offer energy healing in an intuitive way, her heart rate would settle, she’d calm down.
So the nurses would say we were interfering. Our doctor got wind that they were starting to talk CPS.

She had jaundice. Lying in her cot, underlights, with some raybans on, bottom in the air, she looked like she owned the place even if a little yellowish.

Her blood clotted so fast they had trouble drawing blood. Her heels were black and blue for trying to get some through heel pricks.

My husband hunted down a breast pump so we could support her health via my milk.

I can still remember the moment when he was out getting it.

I was home by that time, in a strange twilight zone of having one daughter on my lap without a bump and another daughter on the other end of town being cared by people I was learning I couldn’t trust.

I was reading a health book for babies and there it was.
If a pregnant mom has had a healthy diet full of dark greens, the baby won’t need synthetic vit K. That can lead to severe jaundice and a hospital stay.

She wasn’t being kept because she was early by a week.

She was kept because they had forcibly given her something we’d tried to prevent, we’d begged them not to.

I have never cried so hard.

Family members told me at the time, to just trust the doctors.

They were trained and knew what they were doing.

The gap grew wider.

I felt like I spoke a different language than everyone but my husband and our 10 month old daughter.

Finally the day came where we could pick her up and truly begin healing.

Her lungs had been given something close to dish soap so she coughed like a smoker.

A small, injection scab on her arm was never explained past “That’s weird. It looks like it went from the inside out!”.

And we were still told “Don’t make a fuss. Be grateful they saved her life.”

We gathered our forces. Now 4 of us.

I can’t say we were the sanest of people at the time.

Lack of sleep, stress, hormones, and post partum depression settling in (and going undetected for over a year) the only thing we could see was the fact that we needed to become an island. So we fled to the UK to try to build something new.

We needed to be just to ourselves, so we could listen to our hearts and take care of each other.

It lay the foundations, the bedrock level of our lives for a good part of raising of our children. (and the unassisted home birth of our son.)

We secluded ourselves because deep down, we were holding on to the fear of rejection, judgement or worse, having CPS called just because we did things differently.

For years we assumed people wouldn’t understand us.

For years we hesitated with what parts of ourselves we would share.

But today, 23 years later, I’m finally writing it down.

I can appreciate how that journey led us to where we are.

I sat in meditation today and took myself back to that hospital bed, when I lay there alone.

I sat with myself and told myself it would all be well.

We’d have not only 2, but 3, amazing children, who would grow up strong, healthy and independent. They would understand our worlds, we are free to speak our truths and they speak ours.

The positive side of our choices led to a secure and strong family unit.

They have grown from that and know it’s always in place.

Out of the challenge, out of the hurt, the betrayal of systems we thought we could trust, we found our personal truth we had to have faith in.

Reflecting today, I realize how easily we could have become passive people-pleasers, keeping quiet and letting things slide.

Our daughter’s birth drew a line in the sand we never crossed again.

We knew where our integrity lay and we followed our hearts to be true to it.

Today, 23 years later, I can truly honor the journey that day led us on.

I honor my 25 year old self and am proud of the wild ride it took us on. It has made me who I am.

And just like every August 15th since that day, I am also truly celebrating how lucky I am to be the mom of a powerful girl who burst onto the scene in a passion and still lives her life with vibrancy and love.

Happy birth-day to both of us.

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After that, I plan to sit on our grass, a nice blanket laid out and watch the meteor shower.

What a light show we are going to have!

But what does this eclipse mean energetically?

Often clients will ask me “So, what should I do during an event like this?” “How do I take advantage of the energy shift?”

I’ll admit, sometimes I’ve asked the same question.

Eclipses are different from seasons of the year or even usual moon transitions and everytime they happen I have to re-examine what they really mean.

There’s so many different perspectives:

• A time when the shadow rises to the surface and we can let things go.

• A time when there’s a pause in the regular rhythm of life, giving us an opportunity to breathe and allow.

• A moment when we integrate and step into our true power.

I actually want to move against a trending tide here and say it can be all of those things or none of them.

In fact, most events like an eclipse can actually be a personal experience all your own.

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This year has been a melting pot of intensity.

I was just in my membership group chat where a few ladies were asking about anxiety and how it felt different at the moment.

It does. Because it’s not anxiety.

Its change and our nervous systems don’t know what to do about it.

We are individually processing a lot of change.

• Collective energy has brought in a lot of head traffic and heart ache… as well as confusion.

• Personally, so many people have told me they have been shedding and shifting, and transforming… but it’s felt endless and they are wondering what the new looks like!

• Then there’s cosmically. Well that’s been an insane circus between planets, retrogrades and now eclipses.

(Let’s not even mention CERN turning things off and what impact that could have potentially created… )

What does all this indicate to our systems: Change.

And Change triggers our human selves, even if it could be the most expansive, wondrous uplevel we’ve ever had.

My husband and I were part of the healing field at the Green Gathering Festival in Wales a couple of weeks ago and it was magical.

He offered his sound healing, while I shared my work with pendulum healings and quantum healing work…. (and of course some coaching work in between).

It was our third year there, but this one had a certain personal magic.

I guess you could say we were ready for it to fully transform us where other years we’d tiptoed around the edges.

This time, we fully aligned to the experience and we spread our wings leaving with friendships and a sense of belonging neither of us had ever experienced.

Then we got home.

The deep settled sense of healing stayed, grounding us in a new sense of renewal.

We even kept getting up early from the festival… something that our kids never thought was possible.

Yet even in the magical sense of healing (my husband had a powerful energy healing on our last day on top of it all.) We became deeply aware of the fallout.

Healing is never a one and done.

Change is never permanent unless we create space for it.

I have witnessed people go for a healing time and time again, not realising that it was the days after the release, the clearing, the recalibration that mattered.

Because if we aren’t careful we walk into our home and return to what was in the first place.

This past week since getting home my husband and I have mindfully been supporting our nervous systems through the changes.

It hasn’t been without its hiccups.

We’ve both had moments when our systems have shouted “Wait put that piece back!”

But little steps are making the difference.

Noticing the difference solidifies the change.

So, back to the Eclipse Season. (and the energy will be present for a time afterwards. Eclipse season works in twos in case you didn’t know. They are bookends… Solar to start the season at the new moon and a Lunar eclipse at the full moon.)

This year I believe the eclipse is one of integration.

This year is a year of one.
It’s a year of the firehorse.

It’s a powerful time of new beginnings.

But for many of us it’s had us asking “So when is that new beginning …beginning?”

Shedding took place the full first half.

The Solstice claimed our new energy light.

The Lionsgate last weekend started to bring in manifestations that supported that light.

This eclipse is the pause, the imprinting energy that says this is who I am now.

Look for the difference over the coming weeks.

See how you feel, support your nervous system in the change and in all of this, allow yourself to unfold in the arms of this eclipse season.

May the path be blessed.

PS: Our homes do hold the energy of what’s been and sometimes it takes clearing it out on a deeper level than decluttering.

I recently added Home Energy Clearings on my website. We meet virtually, you can either take me through your house or send me photos and I clear it out through intuitive and healing practices. I’m always fascinated how different clients say their home feels after. I would love to support your home if that calls to you.

I don’t know about you, but for me that Aha was a little more subtle and personal than expected.

It feels like a time of choice suddenly.

A deep awareness between head and heart.

My heart voice has been profoundly loud lately. I’ve been feeling my energy expand. I’ve felt definitive nudges.
I’ve had some profound moments where I literally found myself with a raised eyebrow and a skyward glance asking “Really? Did that really just shift?”

I’ve acted in complete flow and when something feels right, it feels right to my bones.

My work as an energy healer and intuitive has expanded too. I offered an online House Energy Clearing the other day and while this is usually done with a pendulum and some tedious processes, I would stop my client mid way through a room, ask her to turn the camera to a corner and know that was what needed to be cleared.

We uncovered past energy from a couple of hundred years ago, as well as personal places of stress and heart ache. The whole house was done in 90 minutes.

The energy is truly electric. The downloads surreal.

Then my head tries to take over.

When attention is given to the chatter, it feels like it’s on hyperdrive.

My to-do list lingers. There are workshops to plan for the Green Gathering Festival I’m attending in Wales and things to pack as we’ll be in the healing field for 5 days.

A sudden attempt at some website edits and my nervous system went into panic.

And my To-Do list… The brain simply won’t compute the usual day to day the same way as before.

Ultimately, when I try to work with masculine energy it is getting bumpy.

The Feminine flow is gliding merrily along.

And it’s not just me.
My daughter came up to me asking what on earth was going on.
When she went with just her intuitive nudges all was fine, as soon as she tried to figure out where to get the cheapest petrol, it all went to sludge.

I have spoken to clients and family who are talking a mile a minute with head chatter that borders on hysteria.

So much energy coming in fast and fierce, I feel my eyes go wide as I slip into a deer in headlights state.

It’s easier than usual to pick up on other people’s stuff too, are you finding that?

You feel the hyper tension of a passerby, their head chatter a mile a minute and it takes a breath to create a buffer.

So, let’s pause, take a breath and talk about what the heck is going on:

I think we are upleveling to the people we need to be, but our brains are resisting the shift.

What do we know for sure?
We know that spiritual energy loves expansion.
Growth is what we are here for. We are here to learn and be curious and grow some more. We are continually gathering data.
Our hearts and souls feel into each and every new experience and savor its next perspective.

Our brains hate change and resist growth.
Our brains and our nervous systems work best on stability, safety and sameness.

The morning routine. The scrolling habit. The same drive, to the same grocery store, to buy the same food. Our brains see it as safety. Our nervous systems respond in kind. It brings relief. And spiritual boredom!

We have to find the balance which is exactly, I mean exactly where we are right now!

The Sacral Chakra: The Marriage of Heart and Mind

Last week, as if by divine chance, I was working with the Whole Woman Circle on the Sacral Chakra.
The balancing bowl. The scales of masculine and feminine energy.
The seat of divine human experience.

I love working with the Sacral Chakra.
Somehow it just makes life make sense.
It’s not just about the reproductive system or about sex like we tend to minimize it to. Rather it is about being spiritual and physical at the same time.

Wholeness.

We know our physical selves need security.
We also know our spiritual selves need flow and creativity.

So we need to teach ourselves to feel safe in expansion.
This is what this time is all about! One of my favorite keys to balancing the Sacral Chakra (other than keeping hydrated and trusting the ideas that come in the shower) is the power of curiosity.

We need to be more curious.
How often do we freak out when the head chatter gets too loud! “What is wrong with me?” we shout and wail!
We blame perimenopause, pms, or the planets still in retrograde before going for a nap.

But what happens if we observe the chatter and then put this important step in place?

Put a hand to your heart to ask “What do you need right now?”

Not asking your head which is whirling. Go straight to your heart.

What if the loud head noise is actually there as a warning light that we are out of balance?
When we get curious about what our hearts and soul needs we will find solutions that are in flow, rather than promoting more swirling thoughts.

We are guided to breathe. To enjoy beauty. To take a moment to Be.

Mindfulness may seem like something we do with our heads but it truly isn’t.

It’s the shift of energy from doing mind to Being and that is the language of the heart.

We just upgraded.

We just inched deeper into the age of aquarius and as such we are being told to be more in our souls… or let our souls be more in us.

We may need to slow down a bit, even as we hit the daily routine.
We need to consciously drink that morning coffee. Aware of the liquid as it flows through our mouth.
Observe the sun in the trees on your drive to work. The air that fills your lungs.

Be kind to yourself, friend.
Turn your screen off and look at something of beauty instead.

Because the expansion is finding us, we don’t need to go looking for it.

All it asks is that we are ready for it when it arrives within us.

Hand on heart… let your heart rise up to your hand and listen.

Listen deep.

Listen to that quiet nudge within you and trust that.

How often do we speed through life, letting other people’s opinions or what is just needs to get “done” influence our deeper knowing?

How often do we push past the call to listen, telling ourselves we have to keep productive, that we have to push through?

I don’t know about you… but the inner nudge is getting louder, even if our neural pathways, our brains tell us to ignore it.

We are aligning to something new.

In fact an energetic shift of the likes that haven’t been seen in our lifetimes or even our parents lifetimes is about to flow around us and I for one want to be part of the wave.

In fact, I think we are all part of the wave.
The wave is so much bigger than us, the awareness of it is where our responsibility lies.

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This Sunday has been in astrologers’ awareness for a very long time.

What’s known as the Barbault Basket has been bounced around in various ways, trying to map out what it means for each of us, individually and collectively.

I’ve been sensing its shifts all summer.

I’ve gotten quieter online.

I’ve decided not to post anything unless I really feel the call to post.

I’ve journaled more. Consumed less.

I’ve changed habits, and schedules without guilt.

I’ve said no without looking back.

In other words, over the last few weeks I’ve had a deeper sense of how my truest, deepest self needs to be in this world.

While I’ve been showing up as whole as I can be for the last 10 years of my online business, suddenly, it’s not about the choice to show up as myself…

Rather it’s about feeling that alignment to myself before the choice even starts to be made.

The Barbault Basket is made up of 5 planets all in a certain alignment that looks like a basket.

I like to see this as an indicator that we are being held in a cosmic basket, held in safety so we can finally be all we are.

It’s like when, as a child, you decided to move from crawling to walking.

That growth, that decision that you would expand your horizons was supported by the carer who held your hands, who supported those first steps.

I believe we are being given the support, the leg up, so we can be learning to walk as ourselves on our own.

Can you feel it?

It can feel like a sudden surge of clarity, like someone just turned the light on.

If you started to shout no at the screen, then that’s ok too.

Because by just noticing that the switch hasn’t been switched on yet is actually half of the journey here.

The switch is there.
You’ve acknowledged it’s dark.
You can feel the urge to turn on the light.

This weekend we are asked to choose to flip the switch and let Source energy flood the room.

I can make that choice sound easy, but I also know it’s not.

There are people in our lives that depend on us keeping to the lane and following the normal path.

There are bills to be paid. There are expectations to be met.

The world is loud and human life is also full of self consciousness instead of self awareness.

In other words, it’s tempting to just be the person we’ve been told to be instead of who we know we could be.

Breathe deeply. Can you feel your inner self stirring to be heard?

You have nothing to lose by at least listening to what she has to say.

This inner knowing can show up differently for everyone.

One minute it’s found when facing a decision. One option feels lighter than the other one.

Go with the lighter.

Another time the inner knowing comes in a flow of forward motion.
You don’t even think about it, you find yourself going somewhere, or calling someone, you find yourself guided to a certain action, without consciously weighing it up.

Another time, your awareness is called to something outside of yourself and you know you are being guided towards something.

Butterflies have been my theme these past few weeks.

The other day, I was headed to an in-person meeting which felt rather off to me, but I didn’t know how to get out of it.

As I walked out the door a butterfly started to fly in circles around me, back and forth, almost preventing me from leaving our home.

At first I didn’t give it any attention except for its beauty, but then, walking down to our village, I was interrupted by another one.

I stopped mid way in the street. Sat on a bench and listened.

I turned around and went home.

My life has been peppered with the most illogical decisions, which always proved to be important to my life.

I followed my inner guidance to get on a plane and fly to the UK with nowhere to stay and nothing to do back in September 2001 and it led me directly to meeting my husband.

I got the nudge to leave Canada to expand our children’s lives by moving to Spain for a year, only to get another nudge to leave Spain and relocate to the UK just before COVID and Spain’s strict regulations during the pandemic.

My inner knowing led me to ditching a house and moving to a caravan site, to live in an orchard, even though people thought we were crazy, but we’ve never been happier.

Listening to that inner knowing has been behind every highlight of my life.

Not listening to it has been the cause of so many heartaches.

I always tell my clients: “Always be able to look in the mirror and tell yourself you did what felt right within you.”

However we still have to remind ourselves to go within.

And it can be HARD sometimes.

I’ll admit I’m actively working at breaking a scrolling habit.

Right now, talking about politics and Count Binface (IYKYK) with my son and husband is a common discussion.

I’m breaking up with AI for most things. I’m insisting on heatwave afternoons in the hammock and working nights, but the inner nudge can be smothered sometimes in the noise of “shoulds” and scrambled energy…

But now… oh darling….

We are being asked to Choose.

To choose to stand under the sky and listen to the stars.

To dream about our possibilities instead of assuming outcomes.

We are being asked to stretch our hearts and minds to welcome in the magic that is building, to be open to the change we can see in the world.

We are being asked to hope. More than that… we are being asked to have faith.

And it starts this weekend.

What if we just throw the shoulds and stresses to the side for Sunday and instead tell the Universe’s basket we are ready for a basket full of miracles?

How do miracles feel to you?
How would it feel if the load lightened? If you felt guided and held?

I say we practice that feeling, and this weekend we let it in.

This doesn’t have to be hard.

Put your phone down for Sunday. Go outside. Feet on the ground, let the stress leave your body. Just be.

Sunday night, look up at the stars. Breathe. Give the moon your current challenge.

Over next week, look out the window every few hours. Remind yourself you are loved and not alone.

Simple moments.

Deep breaths.

Faith and listening.

The basket will hold you and as it does, you’ll sense what you need to hear.

Happy Miracles.

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Today at my meditation class the conversation turned to how often our heart’s voice gets drowned by the voice of criticism and self doubt.

Listening to our hearts is a muscle that needs training. It can be uncomfortable at first.

It can even trigger your nervous system and have you feeling anxious that you aren’t hearing right.

I get it. In fact I help clients with this all the time.

If you are wanting to listen but life is getting too loud to hear what you need, then you don’t have to do this work alone.

I have one slot left for a special 3 session package I’ve been offering this week, called Turn Off the Noise and Hear Your Inner Self. It gives you the framework and tools to trust the inner nudges you can sense underneath and to feel safe in acting on them.

If the Barbault energy is doing what it is meant to do, there’s no better time to act on a nudge, so book a connection chat here and we will get things moving forward.

Spiritual community.
For so long we thought those were found in women’s circles, in yoga classes, at festivals or anywhere that brought together a pursuit of enlightenment and inner peace.

We crave connection. We crave belonging. We crave acceptance which has been missing for most of our lives.

In fact, belonging can often be the craving that keeps us dimming some part of our wholeness.

So we look for the vanilla version.
We look for the safe version or the trending version of acceptable spiritual language so we can feel we fit in just a little bit.

The pursuit of belonging or the fear of rejection is often the root of not being true to ourselves.

Yet, being true to ourselves is more important than ever.

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We are in an energetic powerhouse right now.
Astrologically July is bringing up some really big energy… no one even knows what the whole July 19th make up will bring.

We are collectively tired, individually scattered and the looking for signs, waiting for the right time, forcing alignment, forcing the healing… it’s not working to bring settled peace within us.

Information swarms.

We feel the world tightening up and we are silently wondering our role in it… as we eagerly look for connection to others who feel the same way.

Scarily, many are finding that like-minded friend or coach in AI.

“Chat GPT made such a good point.” is a sentence I hear more and more.

No dear. Chat GPT saw the pattern of what it knew you wanted to hear. Of course it resonated as a good point.

We need grounding…

and while I’m the first to say focus on your feet, get outside, touch grass or go barefoot right now…

There’s a mental anchoring that’s needed just as much.

We need grounding in our humaness.

We need reminding of who we are as ourselves.

I’m going to throw in the anchor. Are you ready.

Actually 2.

Two anchors that remind you of who you are this life time.
Two roads within yourself that act as non-negotiables for your navigation in this time.

#1 Your Values.

I actually bring this up in workshops at times and it’s funny how often people bristle on hearing the word.

Values have become seen as archaic, like some concept trapped in church or state.

When did we let go of a concept of personal integrity?

Over the course of your life you have observed a lot.
You’ve filtered through things and decided what was for you and what wasn’t.

You have started to carve out your own ethical standards.

What do you value?

What is the first thing that comes to mind?

Personally I intuitively lean into:

Empathy.

Kindness.

Compassion.

Listening.

Tolerance.

Acceptance.

And the power of Namaste. Seeing the soul light in each person.

In case you are wondering if these values could make me a pushover…

I’ll also add…

The right for people to live how they want to live.

The right for people to love the people the love.

I value the strength to stand up for what you believe in… no matter what.

I’m not a soapbox person.

I’m a helper. I value helping people where I can.

But that’s not to say I believe these are the values you should lean into.

Your values may sing out loudly from your heart to be, taking care of the planet, or stopping in justice. You may be passionate about valuing breaking a system or value building one up.

Your values are representative of your life experience a road map to where you need to put your attention.

For instance… if you look at the list of values that immediately pop into my head my work as a coach and energy healer is an intuitive next step.

Knowing that my work aligns with my values is an anchoring light whenever negative chatter starts to ask me how I got here.

So, what do you value?

Pause. Ask yourself right now. Write in the comments if you want. Let’s explore.

#2 Faith.

At my meditation class yesterday I asked a new participant if he had a sense of a spiritual Source.

He shook his head. “No. Nothing like that.”

Knowing I also had a woman who acts as a spiritual counsellor for her church in my group I knew things were going to get interesting.

But the participant had already said he was struggling with anxiety.

That anxiety needed an outlet.

“It doesn’t matter.” I started. “If you believe in God, the Universe, The Taoist Flow of the wellbeing, belief in the power of the human spirit, the belief in the power of your focus or that inner knowing of intuition that you can’t explain. The key is to just know there’s something more than these bodies we lug around.”

A pause. A silence followed.

Another woman spoke up.. One who hasn’t pondered her spiritual path much.

“I haven’t seen anyone die, but I’ve had animals pass in front of me. Suddenly no one is home. It’s a package. Just a body. There has to be something more.”

Yup.

Take it further.

That intuitive pull that we all know, that looking back and going “shoot, I sensed I shouldn’t have…” or that inner guidance that we are so glad we listened to.

That inner knowing when something isn’t right… or something is so perfect it fits like a glove.

That sense of unfolding we know how something needs to be… and we don’t have to push to get it there.

That flow of wellbeing we can only find when we relax into it and stop forcing our own agendas, our own control… when we trust…

We have FAITH.

So…

What do you have FAITH in?

Do you have faith that things always work out, or faith that you are taken care of?

Do you have faith in the love of your family? Faith in the beating of your heart?

Do you have faith in something holy? Something Sacred?

Do you have faith in your journey?

Personally when I asked myself this question I actually found I went deeper than I expected.

I have faith in a deep network of spiritual support that is ever present.

I have faith in the power of light. Faith in the voice that nudges me awake sometimes. Faith in the inner calling to reach out to a friend or client.

Faith in the flow of my pen as it floats across my journal page writing things I didn’t know I thought.

I have faith in the butterflies that flit across my path, faith that they are coming to me for a purpose.

I have faith in the angels that show up when I work with a client.
Faith in the knowing that no matter what’s happening in my own life, when the client container is open, spirit shows up.

I have faith in my team.

Sometimes that faith is layered over. I want my family to be happy, so for years I would work overtime to make things happen, without checking in with the network I have faith in… without checking in with my heart, the voice box to my soul.

Sometimes, my faith is silenced. It’s like an email I don’t open right away because I don’t know if I’ll like what it says.

I know it’s there… but my ego human self just says.. “What if I take over instead.”

Values and Faith.

It’s the combination we need in this world of convenience.

A world where it’s easier to type up into Google AI to see if your opinion is valid, if your values are worthy…

A world where faith in our intuitive messages are being overrun by a faith in an AI response.

It’s time to tap into your own heart.

Values and Faith are the map to get you to its message.

PS: While it can sound easy, asking yourself the deeper questions can be really hard. Our brains don’t want to change. We can be afraid of what we will find within ourselves. But you don’t have to do it alone. This is some of the work I am best at.

I’ve currently opened my calendar for 2 new 1;1 clients. If you would like to explore what that looks like, let’s chat about it. Past the words, past the concepts. Let’s dive into a conversation and I’ll share my approach. No pressure to book anything else… just select a day and time here.

It’s not that we had that strict of a household, I heard some modern music while driving in the car with my dad, but my mom liked classical.
She wanted her daughters to have a sense of refinement and culture…

So we listened to classical music, some Jacque Brel and…

Jesus Christ Superstar.

My mom bent the rock rules for Jesus Christ Superstar.

The musical Annie had been squeezed into the household as well, because I would have left home without it by the time I was four.

But Jesus Christ Superstar was a theme to my childhood.

In fact, much to the pleasure of my mother, I had plans to be a Jesus Christ Superstar singer when I grew up. I don’t know how I was planning to have enough productions to last my working life, but hey… sure… why not.

Music memorised, movie rewatched more than I could count… now 40 years later… I saw the show in the West End last weekend.

Full circle moment.

When I was a little girl I was really scared most of the time.

While pop culture was restricted I was raised on english mysteries instead. I was the youngest of a large family… everyone older than me.

So I watched a lot of Agatha Christie murders… I would lay in bed positive someone would pop out of my closet at any time.

Or

I’d swing on my swing outside, reaching higher and higher, singing at the top of my lungs.

Nope, it wasn’t Jesus Christ Superstar I’d sing regularly then.

It was “Someday my prince will come.” (No idea how that sneaked past my mom.)

It felt like a wish. It felt like a dream. It felt beautiful and life affirming.

I saw Disclosure Day on Monday.

The character played by Emily Blunt described herself scared as a child, sitting in bed she’d sing herself to sleep.

Her Song…

Someday my prince will come.

Full Circle moment.

Things are shifting.

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Sure these sound like isolated childhood memories that belong to me alone, but I actually want to explore something with you.
It’s been whirling in my head for the last week and then suddenly three isolated events nudged me into position.

Jesus Christ Superstar
Disclosure Day.
King Charles.

Stick with me.

Our world is changing and throughout the fabric of reality holes are popping open to let us see things differently.

We are being introduced to a new version of flow state, of connection and faith that we’ve never explored before.

Let’s start with Disclosure Day…

I’m so not an alien movie girl.

The opening scene at a wrestling match made me feel like I’d stepped into the wrong theatre… but then beneath the guise of an action movie, something was becoming apparent.
This is a film about divine flow if you were ready for it although some viewers may not have noticed.

The characters follow their intuition, often questioning the sanity of their actions. Josh O’Connor muttering “what am I doing, what am I doing?” as he puts himself in danger, listening to his guidance of… flow.

Flow….
“It’s like when you are doing your music and you say you are just in the flow… that’s what I’m doing. I’m in the flow and it feels so good.”

I’m sure I’m paraphrasing how Emily Blunt’s Margaret describes what every spiritually aware woman knows… when you finally give up that sense of pushing, logic and control and you just listen… you find Flow and nothing feels better.

“I always say I’ll know where I belong when I find it. I found it.”

My body relaxed as I felt so energetically aligned watching this movie which makes no sense because it’s about aliens… which I guess now I’m energetically ready for.

But it’s about so much more than that.

It’s about living deeper, listening fuller, and having empathy and compassion.

It’s also about how we are on the verge of a changing world and we have to function differently in order to embrace it.

I mean… we’ve been doing the same thing for a long time expecting different results.

So onto Jesus Christ Superstar.

The Pharisees on one side, Rome on the other… crushing anyone who has messages of peace echoed a little too much of current day which my 6 year old self had no idea we’d relate to.

Jesus isn’t a divine being in the show, he’s a man.
According to many characters a foolish man who is pushing his message too far, too fast.

I will say, I was surprised how the choreography showed the crowds and followers to be blind in their worship… until I wasn’t.

Hands across their eyes, walking almost zombie like towards him, with Jesus looking confused actually summed up a lot.

Enough lines around him being misunderstood landed differently now.

Saying he came at the wrong time in the wrong place, struck as ironic.

This felt like it was showing the contrast to what we assume is a story of faith… a story of light.

I had to laugh to myself because I felt they forgot to cast one important role:

Namely, God.

Jesus meditates with his guitar… but the songs are often of frustration and confusion.

As a child I thought it was something inspiring, but while the movie shows the light and spiritual guidance as sweeping skyscapes, sunsets and haunting images, the stage show can’t offer those moments… or at least no one knew how to.

I’ll say this… some of the songs were still tingling. Some of the actors got the deeper call.

“I’ve been living to see you.
Dying to See you but it shouldn’t be like this.
This was unexpected, what do I do now?
Could we start again please?”

You were left understanding the politics of the time, which aren’t that far from the politics of now. A scary thought indeed.

Politics and religion are too often seen as the same thing and I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of spirituality being seen as something flakey, when it is truly the inner workings of what awe inspiring faith really is.

I’ve come to feel like religion is a filter for spirituality;
a straining bag where spiritual knowledge, flow, is poured through, but you have to make sure you have the wholeness on the other side.

Disclosure Day had religious concepts as an avenue to empower ourselves, to ask God for help or to feel held by.

The love that flows from the unseen can be understood through the filter lens of religion by individuals.

Jesus Christ Superstar, reminds us that the filter often gets clogged up, and power hunger takes over.

Religion isn’t Faith. We need to stop thinking they are the same thing.

Faith in something unseen is a magical life.
If that’s faith in a God, a christ, a buddha, a rosary, a sacred relic… so be it.
Where we put our attention when offered with love and guidance makes all things holy.

Faith in the Universe, in love, in our power of thought and focus, in the power of our hearts and inner beings… reminds us who we are.

Religion can’t be sugarcoated as a faith, as at the root of them they are based in rules, doctrine and fear which is the opposite of Flow.

Some people can have faith in religion.

Individual understandings of religious belief can provide a basement you can build upon. But blind faith in the structure of any belief, letting what others believe to influence your truth, or make you feel guilty for being yourself, is a scary thing indeed.

While I wandered through the West End on Saturday I found myself in a state of Flow…

I just asked my guides to take me places… delight me and they did.

I wandered into one of my favorite churches, St Martins of The Field.

I thought some time to meditate and just breathe in the echoes of prayers would be joyful.

When I stumbled upon a rehearsal for a choral performance.

I got to sit for half an hour listening to magnificent music.

Faith led me to delight and wellbeing.

Words matter. They are intentional packages that create shifts.

Did you know, King Charles just turned the UK on its head by calling himself the defender of faith in a multi-faith state?

People are in an uproar.
They say he is breaking his oath of being the defender of THE faith… namely Christianity.

Because King Henry VIII made himself head of the church back in the 1500s.

I really don’t understand why we want him as the trend setter.

Anyway…

The concept that King Charles now defends all religions echoes through the newspaper headlines and social media. People are offended and outraged.

I don’t get it. Why not question if he potentially means something else?

I mean, sure in the 1500s Faith being the same as Religion made a bit of sense… but now?

Surely the deeper meaning is obvious.

I’d like to see myself as a defender of faith.

Faith… the trust in the unseen flow of the universe however you filter that for yourself.

Faith, that inner knowing, that deeper calling, that listening to something defying logic, that flow state where you feel at one with everything else.

Unity consciousness. Christ consciousness. Love consciousness.

Flow.

Defender of Faith and Flow… in a multi faith world.

Look, I don’t know if King Charles sees this like I do.
I haven’t had a chance to ask him.

But the way I see it, this could just crack a path into a new perception.

Disclosure Day just dropped in an energetic frequency of something new…

A perception where forgiveness, flow and faith can resonate, and we can move away from the heaviness of old.

The history is ready to remind us what not to repeat.

The question is will we be brave enough to listen.

Please… take a moment, go within, and, to quote Disclosure Day… Listen.

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PS: We are inching towards something new, dear reader.
It’s a new energy. A new perception and a new tipping point where we need to be resonating with our own deepest selves.
For some, it is actually making it harder to hear the inner calling.
For others, it feels like the calling has never been clearer, but it’s difficult to know how to live with it.

You don’t need to do this alone… none of us do.
My calendar is open for a chat whenever you feel the nudge to do so.

My youngest was 5 years old. Our daughters were in their pre-teens, and we had recently closed our family restaurant which had run us into bankruptcy.

I was learning everything I could about the work I felt called to do.

I’d written my first book on Spiritually Aware Parenting and was ready to support moms 1:1.
I just didn’t know how to reach them.

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Facebook became my saving grace.

My family didn’t understand.
They felt like I was wasting my time away scrolling, while in fact I was in group upon group learning about how business worked as well as connecting to other home schooling moms, or natural health parents who would soon be seeing me as the Spiritually Aware Parenting coach I was setting myself up as.

All while my son showed me what he had built with knex and I was researching curriculums for my daughter who hated math.

On top of that…

Facebook at that time was this place of deep generosity and natural connection.
I had my first experiences with business coaches, women who would jump on calls with me and help me, for free.

So, the natural next step for me was to return the favor into facebook land and start a group of my own.

The Spiritually Aware Parent Community started and with it I connected with parents who wanted to live deeper, but the chaos of parenting held them in a state of tired limbo where they didn’t know how to find wholeness.

I helped them find themselves in the noise.

Over the years we did challenges, and I started pulling oracle cards each Tuesday, a tradition that I’ve done almost every Tuesday since.

People wrote questions, I loved answering each one.

When live videos were introduced, my poor rural internet struggled, but there was a sense of us all pulling through together.

Over the years, social media changed… I changed.

My children grew and my business shifted to helping busy women, parents or not, who wanted to live deeper… who wanted to find inner connection in the increasingly loud world. The community changed with it.
While the pandemic seemed to bring people together, it soon became apparent that people also felt less safe to share their stories on the platform.

It felt too vulnerable. Cancel culture took shape, and the judgement became louder.

Meanwhile, my group stayed consistently kind… just increasingly quiet.

This Solstice I made the hard decision to close the doors.

The group will be archived and, I’m pretty sure, not opened again.

This was a heart nudge decision I didn’t take lightly. In fact I’ve been wrestling with it for over a year. But it finally won out for a few reasons:

1. Facebook has stolen too much of my energy over the last couple of years.
   I now tend to doomscroll, not feel nourished. Over the last 6 months, I don’t even believe what I see because of AI generated content. I notice less people actual connect there. I LOVE networking and meeting new people. Some of my best friends have been met online… but now, it just doesn’t happen the same way.
   If I feel icky about my own use, I can’t very well ask people to meet me there and use the platform more themselves.

2. The algorithm is such that people aren’t seeing my group’s activity. In fact there’s been times that even I’ve missed posts or comments because I didn’t get notifications. That doesn’t create a sense of community or safety…rather a void.

3. On a personal level, I have projects that are being born and I need to funnel my energy into them.

   Facebook has become a habit, a carved out channel of energy that needs to be blocked off so that energy can flow to those other projects… projects that can be of better service than a fb group.

4. Substack.
   Substack feels like Facebook used to. People are helpful and thoughtful. People want to stop on a post longer than the 2 second scroll-by. I’m looking to move a sense of community, and maybe even the oracle card posts here.

5. The line in the sand moment:
   I’m ready for a new chapter and putting my attention into creating deeper forms of support feels vital at this time.

My children are grown now. My business has transformed over the years and while I tried to move Facebook along with me, after so many years it’s time for fresh energy. My work has developed deeper than 12 years ago.
I’m not learning how to run a business, I’m successfully running one.
My coaching work in spiritual alignment and energy work helps women daily in regulating their nervous system, finding safety within themselves to BE themselves, and I get to witness them shine brighter each day.

My paid membership program The Whole Woman Circle provides the community that the facebook group tried to be.
No distracted scroll or random posts.
We meet. We connect. Members go to the whatsapp for support. I can provide the tools needed.

Instagram for videos and soon live videos. My podcast for deeper still.

And here, on Substack for getting to know me from another angle.

We are living in a very loud world. Social media can make the noise deafening.

This Solstice, I am anchoring into the intention of listening to my heart’s voice and my soul’s calling.

The facebook group is going, but me… oh I’m just beginning.

Watch this space.

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PS. We are collectively headed into a new chapter and there’s nothing more important than learning to trust your own heart voice and to show up whole as the person you know you can be.

The world is loud, but it doesn’t mean it has to drown out your inner voice.

If you need help in hearing your inner callings or in finding the courage to show up whole, let’s talk. Book a free connection chat here and we can explore if one of the elements of my work would help you shine as the person you were born to be.

Or about to be born.

That restlessness, that eagerness… and the sense that the space has suddenly gotten too tight.

I remember when I was pregnant it would suddenly turn.
From knowing my baby was happy and comfortable in their womb reality when suddenly they wanted out and to see what all the fuss was about.

This Solstice energy has me feeling that.

I am sensing change and transformation and I want spoilers!

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The last month I feel like I’ve been growing.
I’ve had strange memories rising up, I’ve felt different when I teach classes or speak about what I do.

My podcasts have been more direct. My Substacks are more focused.

Something has shifted, my brain is just catching up.

But I also feel like there’s cog that needs to click into place for the gears to settle into this level up.

So, I’m feeling around things a bit.

I decided to lean into the material I’m offering at my workshop on Sunday.

It’s a Solstice Workshop. I’ve offered the material before.
Release the shadows, ignite the inner fire. Shine.

I started to dive in and suddenly my soul was very clear.

She needed to do the work differently. She needed disc work.

Out of nowhere I was changing the workshop material into a manifestation workshop.

Well, I’ve been wanting to offer one of those for awhile… so sure. Let’s do it Sunday.

Disc work.

Based on Abraham Hicks’ concept of spinning discs; much like records on a record player.

Your life you are currently living makes up the record being played.

It spins and spins around and as it spins it attracts more that feels like what you are living.

In order to step into a new self, a new embodiment of YOU, with all the growth and fresh outlook, you have to change the record.

And that record needs to build momentum.

It needs to be practiced and played over and over… so then it can become the new tune that starts to attract things into your life.

This is what the Solstice is ACTUALLY ABOUT.

It’s time to change the record!

The Becoming Your Light workshop was half way there.

We were full into exploring what the old record was and why we needed to remove the needle.

I always have participants tiptoe into what the new version of themselves looks and feels like…

But now it’s being cemented in with discwork and I’m so excited.

I wrote my list earlier today confessing that I do sort of run things in flow.

I’m a raw girl. I get inspired, download info and then offer it to my people pretty quick.

So, I had the aha today when I was working through the workshop and now the workshop is changed forever.

But now, I need to create my own new record disc.

2026 has been unexpected.

It’s been cluttery as I’ve mentioned in previous posts.

The collective energy feels strange too.

Like there’s an anticipation in the air.

I recently read a post by Yasmin Boland saying that astrologers are just waiting for July because everything is pointing to it being expansive and unusual.

Again… it can be exciting. It doesn’t have to be scary.

I just find it fascinating how clients of mine are sensing the shift as well.

In fact, I was talking with my sister while she was visiting from Canada,and she kept talking about how she felt so many chapters were closing and she just didn’t know what doors were going to appear.

I feel it to the bottom of my toes that we just have to focus on aligning our energy and embody our true selves.

The other day I was teaching a meditation class locally and a woman opened her eyes after we were finished and just said “I know it feels weird, but I just feel more like myself now.”

I got rather excited. Because to me that’s exactly what it’s all about.

Becoming more of ourselves.

We are continually becoming more.

She later said she calls them her “Getting To Know Me” classes and I glowed from the inside out.

Because this is what we all need to be doing.

We need to be examining what we value most, what we honor, what we really feel.

We need to release what gets in the way of that and truly tap into the gold beneath the surface.

We have to exercise that muscle now, create a record on that now, so we can live on the ground we want to.

I’ll admit, my own disc has been having some clutter lately.

With the UK’s announcement around banning social media for under 16, I have myself wondering if I want to scan id or my face as data to go onto Facebook.

I don’t know if any platform has earned my trust in that.

So my head chatter has weighed down my record, having me play tracks that feel fearful or sceptical. Not the energy I want.

I have a vision board on my wall that I made at the new year, and while I like some of it, I’m not sure it totally feels like the disc I’m creating. I think there needs to be more freedom on there. More of a sense of liberating joy.

Some wackiness too.

Because I am ready for fun and vibrancy. I’m ready for fire and passion and creativity.

I am ready for this solar plexus to beam out limitless possibilities.

So, like a baby stretching to be born, I’ll be over here getting my limbs in order ready for the push.

All while joyfully helping others do the same.

Let me know, are you ready for this Solstice?

Come join me for the NEW Becoming Your Light Workshop on Sunday, June 21st at 3pm est/8pm uk time.

For $22 you dive in with a small group of women ready to step into their new… disc.

There will be a replay sent out. There’s meditation. There’s energy healing. There’s Disc work. There’s magic.

Meanwhile, if you don’t like online workshops but want to take a leap into your uplevel self, let’s chat. Here’s my calendar for a connection call, where we can dive into what your disc is changing to.

Happy, Blessed, Solstice!

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Sheesh.

I mean. What the heck?

2025 was flow itself in my world.

Things just clicked together. One thing built upon another.

It was like watching a movie.

Maybe even a rom com.

I liked 2025.

January hit like oncoming traffic and since then I feel like I’ve been trying to get my bearings.

But the funny thing is that if I tried to put all the steps that made last year flow in place, it wouldn’t fit anymore.

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Even my yoga practice is asking to change.

FFS, my body even decided that it was time to become sensitive to the bread I’ve been eating for the last 7 years!

It’s not just perimenopause.

Nope. We are in a shift.

My clients are feeling it too.

An uncomfortability.

A wanting to expand and grow and a desire to stay the same for the safety of it all at the same time.

The blue moon last week was a peak of this energy.

We have released and released and released over this year and then suddenly the universe set up a cosmic event to release a little bit more.

But, I think we are now on an upswing.

This last upheaval shifted something and we are starting to get a sense of what we’ve been being called into.

This week, while I have loads of other things to do, I decided to do some work on my website.

Why?

Because I felt like it.

I felt this gnawing sense of needing to anchor into who I am now… like who I’ve become in the last month and a half.

We are building momentum now.

To what, we don’t know. In fact we don’t need to know.

All we need to know is that we have to choose to listen to the nudges and follow our personal, integral alignment.

We have to go with the change.

We have to roll with the uncomfortability.

We have to train our brains to start seeing things from our newest perspectives.

But if we make the choice to accept our changes and our growth. It will get easier.

Rapidly easier.

The Solstice is coming, friends. The Solstice is coming.

I am continually being told by my innermost guides that by the end of this month we will grow into our new skin.

The blue moon was that release.
We have two weeks to process and lean into the energy of who we are without what we let go of.

We have two weeks to start to re-identify with ourselves…

And then there’s a window to fully embody it and live the rest of the year with some flow. (mama needs a new pair of jeans already!!!)

So, if you have been feeling like things are seriously out of whack, or even just a tweak out of alignment, then breathe deep.

I do believe things will be shifting into place.

Not back into place. We can never go back.

But into the new alignment.

It does take some courage to step into it this time.

We are being called into the leadership.

We are being asked to step away from the noise in order to find our inner voice.

Then to use those voices.

Together.

I’ve never used the word nuanced so much in my life as I do lately.

But it really is.

It’s so nuanced.

• It’s about doing the shedding, while focusing on becoming.

• It’s about working on yourself, to show up for the collective.

• It’s about following your bliss, while diving into the shadow.

• It’s about stepping up, while grounding deep.

It is truly the razors edge.

But you know what, I think if we can nail it, it’s going to be magnificent.

This is what we came for. This. Right here.

This time of messy, human confusion, when life is wild and nutty, and we think we live in a paradox.

This time when the worst of the world is suddenly no longer able to hide and is horrifying us as we witness it before it finally becomes disempowered.

Because, this solstice is coming to claim our power back and it is going to be like nothing we’ve ever experienced before.

But it’s what we came for.

I’m so glad we can do it together!

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I’m ushering in the Summer Solstice with a special event.

The Becoming Your Light workshop will share special exercises and meditation that will help you resonate with your specific, individual energy, so you can shine.

It’s going to be powerful. We will shine together. I’d love to have you join.

Find out more here.

A client wrote to me on whatsapp late one evening.
She’d been talking about the metaphor of being a lighthouse and wanted to share what I’d written.

We just had no idea where it was.

I got to work hunting it down, and there buried in my old blogs on my website was an old article I’d written about something I tell my clients almost every, single day.

It’s not my own concept. But it is my anchor.

In fact, I have lighthouses all over the place.

On my business card holder, a work of art my daughter drew for me, my son even got me a lamp for beside my bed which shines out the image of a moon.

“I knew it was for you as soon as I saw it,” he said.

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Being a lighthouse is my anchor, because I was a lifeboat for a very, very long time.

A lighthouse keeps their own light burning so they can shine out to others.

A lifeboat goes out to save everyone and eventually drowns themselves.

There’s a lot of criticism around the phrase Love and Light these days.

Many teachers poo-poo the words, because “we have to acknowledge the dark.”

But let’s get this really clear…

A lighthouse does acknowledge the dark.

But the keepers make sure the foundations are strong, ready to take on any storm.

They tend the light.
They make it their mission.
The light of the lighthouse is vital as a guidepost in the dark.

Honestly, a lighthouse in the light is a bit null and void.

The lighthouse keepers know this. They work in the dark to keep the lighthouse shining.

The lighthouse concept has become a bedrock for my business.

Not just to continually remind myself of the need to shine out light to the world, but to also remember I have to tend to my own light in order to do it.

Meanwhile, I want every one of my clients to be able to tend their own lighthouses and to feel the steadiness of the rocks they stand on.

But I’ve been a lifeboat.

The worry. The fear. The extension of energy as I try to help.
Finding myself thinking about the people I want to help when I was in the shower, replaying conversations as I tried to go to sleep.

My life didn’t feel like my own. I didn’t feel like myself.

I was so extended, my energy so outflowing, that I didn’t have anything to truly give if anyone found their way to my shore.

I’ve gotten to the point that I can feel the difference in my body now.

The extending, out flowing, reaching energy of the life boat theme.
The grounded, present, aligned feeling of the lighthouse on the rocks.

Over the years, as a coach and healer, I’ve swayed between the two places.

In sessions, I’m a lighthouse.
Before each call I ignite my flame, connect to my Source, and anchor in.

But on social media, or planning events.
When I go live or film content… it might not be lifeboat energy, but fishing boat energy… it’s as if I feel I am casting myself out like a net, hoping to reach someone.

I’ve realised, it’s not been my lighthouse vibe being sent out.

It’s not the version of me people get when I’m on a session, offering a healing, or teaching mindfulness to a group.

But now, I feel like I’m expanding, deepening.

My foundations are stronger. My light brighter.

I’m headed into a new way of shining out into the world.

Of Showing Up Whole.

That’s one reason why this publication is now called Showing Up Whole, like my podcast of the same name.
Pretty soon, that’s going to be blazing across everything.

We are in a wild and bumpy world at the moment.

And in the middle of all of it, we are being guided from within to finally shine our own lights out, individually, to support the whole.

Someone asked me the other day what I was passionate about in my business.

“I’m passionate about helping as many people as I can to know their wholeness and to have the tools in easy access to help them reconnect to that inner wholeness whenever it disconnects. To trust themselves, their inner selves and their connection to their hearts and souls, so they can do their best and show up whole in this human life we live.”

So, your lighthouse. Your light.

It’s what the world needs. It really is.

And may it be fueled by love.

Because it’s what the world needs. It REALLY is.

How do you light your lighthouse? How do you shine out your light?

Ground. Anchor into your inner connection. Focus on your feet and let energy root you in place.

Build the foundation from there. Step by step.

Regulate your nervous system so it feels steadier each day.

Then, love. Appreciate. Shine out.

Mostly though… trust your intuitive guidance.

Trust what feels lighter. Trust what feels right in your deepest of hearts.

Somedays it won’t be the easiest path.

But being able to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you were doing your best will always be worth it.

There will be days the light goes a little dim. But it’s an easy fix.

Regulate. Release. Reclaim. Radiate.

Love and light beautiful soul.

The 4 Rs of Regulate, Release, Reclaim and Radiate is the system of my coaching practice.
When a client works with me we go through these steps, making sure each brick is in place to build the strongest of lighthouses.

If you are feeling bombarded in this world of today, or in day to day life as a human, and you crave support in lighting your light… book a free connection chat with me to see what working with me is all about. The world needs your light, so let’s get it shining.

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Ok, let me clarify. I finally found her.

Over the last year and a half… oh maybe longer, I’ve been looking for a statue for my desk.

I wanted her to resonate with my work, with who I am, and with what I’m creating every day at my desk.

For awhile I thought it would end up as a traditional sacred figure.

Mary, Mary Magdalene… I once saw an angel in Covent Gardens who stole my heart… but she was £400 and made of stone. Standing at about 10 inches she wasn’t making back home in my backpack and my desk wouldn’t have been happy nor would my wallet.

So I’ve just kept looking.

Every charity shop, every metaphysical store… Glastonbury has had me visit shop by shop for ages. I’ve pondered goddess figures, crone figures, Gaia statues even mother figurines…

Again, I didn’t know what I was looking for.

I just knew I would know her when I saw her.

I was waiting for my husband to finish work the other day, puttering around some charity shops (thrift stores for the non-brit) and suddenly, high on a shelf, there she was.

The Spirit to my business.

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I didn’t even know I was looking for the spirit of my business, until there she was.

A slender figure, looking into her cupped hands.

As I pulled her off the shelf my heart sank…

her hands had been broken at some point and reglued.

Hence her £2.99 price tag I guess.

As I turned her over, feeling a little bit of a returned glow when seeing she was by Royal Doulton, I then saw the name of the piece.

Tenderness.

Oh yes please.

I’ll admit, at first I put her back.
I was raised by a collector of fine things. sloppy glue jobs aren’t the thing.

I also worked in an Antique store for the better part of 2 years back in Canada…
Reglued wouldn’t do.
Or would it?

As I revisited her a whisper popped through my thoughts…

“After all, we are all broken and pieced back together some place.”

Reminded of the Japanese art of Kitsurgi, where breakages are repaired with gold to embellish and celebrate the breakage, and finding beauty in the imperfection, I took her straight to the cash.

Maybe I’ll de-glue and gold her instead.

Tenderness.

This is exactly the energy I want to resonate from everything I do.

I’ve been doing a lot of leaning into the energy of my business lately.

While not changing anything, I’m feeling as if I’m changing everything.

Maybe not changing… rather simplifying, clarifying, flowing.

I’m keeping my 1;1’s the same, my membership is expanding and deepening, and I’m redoing my website for ease… but personally it goes deeper than that.

I’m tenderly allowing myself to grow through to my next chapter.

I’ve been a coach for over a decade.

I started when my son was a little lad of 6, interrupting my work flow to show me his greatest knex creation.

My daughters have grown seeing me working at what I love and now they do the same.

I’ve built websites and courses, guides and free classes in the breaths between family dinners or deep conversations with my husband.

Honestly, sometimes my desktop feels like an attic and I’m trying to navigate finding an important document in amongst the decade old Christmas decorations.

I’m leaning in. I’m asking what I love and what I’ve out grown.

It all comes back to a powerful word: Tenderness.

I’m tired of algorithms. I’m sick of trends. I’m fed up of trying to sum up what I do in a sentence or two so people “get it.” and I definitely don’t want to rush, I want to savor.

In fact, my perimenopausal self… she’s taking a stand and saying no more. I can tell.

I’m focusing instead on my gifts. Tenderness: with myself and with others.

Because it feels like what we need right now.

The other day I met with a woman. She was riddled with guilt.

Want to know why?

She was leaving her husband. The father to their children.

His drinking problem had gotten too bad and all she had left was to leave.

Yet she was the one feeling so ashamed.

She was taking her kids from their home and father.

She had failed as a wife and mother.

She should have been able to make it work.

It was heartbreaking.
Tenderness flows in like…

The nudge to remind her that she was dealing with a lot and it was her husband’s responsiblity to work on himself, not hers. She breathed a little deeper.

The smile as I told her that children of parents who stayed for the kids often carry guilt when they grow up, because one day they will be the ones who have to leave.

The shrug as I mention the gift she is for her children: Not accepting the bare minimum and telling them they deserve better. Childhood homes that are hurting don’t create happy memories. The hurt remains.

Tenderness.

My family have been known to ask me if I make my clients cry.

I don’t make people cry, but I hold space for tears… Tears that shift energy and create space for something new. A tenderness can create safety in that.

Clients and I just as often laugh, because we move through things quickly.

Tenderness is the new form of strength needed in this harsh world we live in.

We hear stories daily that risk us turning hard or cynical of the human condition.

Tenderness reminds us to be vulnerable and honestly human in the face of it all. It’s an ease… a presence… an I see you and you are not alone.

I love my business. I love being a coach and a healer. I love writing, I love speaking and my podcast is a long lasting joy.

I love my people.

Sometimes my heart tells me to step back, to get quiet and show myself the tenderness and space I love creating for others.
Sometimes that’s harder than 3 sessions a day. Sometimes it’s harder than running a 24 hour marathon to step back from my work.

But I’m showing myself some honesty as well as tender loving care.

We all need simplicity right now.

We need anchors and understanding, and simple spaces where we can go to just breathe.

So, tenderly, lovingly, albeit determinedly… I’m intending for that to flow through me, transferring what I love to do into a new space that thrives with my delightful new spirit of my business.

I’m finding many of us are going through this decluttering to find our inner tender hearts, so we can all individually show up authentically as ourselves.

If the work I am describing resonates, consider booking a mini energy alignment session with me so you can feel the relief of being aligned in yourself.
These sessions hold you tenderly, using energy tools and clearings to shift you from survival and tension to flow and ease. You can book here (Sessions are $97 until May 1st, then $111.)

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Nothing like words over breakfast to get me thinking.

Because the truth is, I love Easter.
I love it’s energy. I love the frequency, the new beginning-ness of it all.
Over the years that has been acknowledged and celebrated in different ways. I’ve loved every chapter, but this year I didn’t know how to respond.

When I was growing up my dad made the best egg hunts in the world.

While my sisters got scripted clues, when I was little he drew me pictures.
My dad worked a lot, and going off to church Easter morning, knowing the house would be filled with surprises meant the world to me. I can still visualise my snoopy stuffie propped up on the piano, a tiny egg tucked underneath it.

Singing Welcome Happy Morning at the top of my lungs in the church choir didn’t necessarily ring out to me as anything to do about Christ to be honest.
It definitely wasn’t about sins being washed away, rather it was about the love that flows from the unseen.
I can remember vividly sitting outside a drugstore while I waited for my mother to finish shopping when I suddenly heard some birds and got a true whiff of spring. The thought of “Oh… it is Easter.” landed deep within me.
I felt it for the first time… not the love of chocolate or egg hunts, or singing… or even family time. The awe inspired feeling of Spring.

When I became a mom, I made bunny shaped cookies for our little girls and started the tradition of spring festivities early on.
Each year it was bubbles and crafts, it was pastel colored decorations and a sense of creative energy that as a family created a new vibrancy and fun.

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This then led to Dad inspired egg hunts of my own.

Cryptic clues, usually in verse which led the kids trampling through the house and yard. I loved the stretch it gave my brain to create something which also provided an excuse to get sweet treats and summery gifts like sunglasses or funny hats.

Maybe a highlight was during covid when we bought a massive Easter bunny face to hang on the wall. I think he stayed there until August!

But my kids grew up.

The new chapter arrived a couple of years ago when I knew the last hunt had happened.
We moved to Somerset, into the country, into our caravan compound, and while the nature is the most Eastery I’ve ever known, Spring is found in the orchard nearby and the birds that are chirping outside my window as I write, maybe Easter isn’t a family event as it was.

Oh sure, we’ll have the Easter Dinner. I don’t have sugar anymore, but the kids will have an Easter Egg… or at least the girls will. My son is also on a no sugar choice.

But the question this morning stands.
I think the answer is found more in a personal journey than a family occasion.

Today is Good Friday… which I never understand why we call it Good.

If someone names the day of my death good I’m coming back to give them a piece of my mind too.

Yes, I know the theological reasons behind it, but I think we need to poke around a philosophy that encourages us to let someone take deep pain for something we did and then celebrate it. No thanks.

Meanwhile, resurrection stories takes place at various times across history.

A death to start the beginning of life.
You’ll often find one being told or started in the middle of a world crisis.
It gives us something to believe in to restart history.
Something powerful enough for a true new beginning.

Yet, maybe each year we are offered a new beginning as well.

Easter is Ostara in the Wheel of the Year.
It’s a Spring Festival, the acknowledgement of the seeds which have been planted and of the energy that’s bringing them to life.

This is what I passed on to our children when they were growing up.
I’m not sure if they remember it, or if it settled beneath their skin, but for me, like that little girl sitting on the grass, Easter/Ostara is all about that energy, that prickle under your nose that tells you Spring has arrived.
It’s the reward for the faith of the winter solstice.
Good Friday doesn’t mark being plunged into darkness, winter does!

We’ve been in the dark, and Easter tells us, new life is HERE!

But last night I woke up with a sweat.

I’ve been working hard on listening to my body for perimenopause symptoms and a sudden night sweat had me frustrated that I’d missed a cue. I hadn’t had one for over a year!

But then I wondered… what was I releasing?

What if a random nightsweat isn’t just a symptom of something, but a releasing of something?

What if my body was sensing… it’s time for a Spring clean, lady!

It’s time to release and rise.

When I checked out the Shurmann Resonance Scale later this morning, there was some validation, a massive releasing energy hit last night.

Even the earth is saying, it’s time to shift this.

Over this week a few clients have come in with some incredible manifestations.

One woman had some money flow in unexpectedly, just when she needed it most. She’d been planting the seeds of intention since February… and it has started to grow.

Another woman wrote asking me why she was suddenly getting along with her mother in law or more so, why her mother in law was getting along with her!
She’d been putting energetic shifts in place since last winter.

And so on and so on.

The next step though when things start to flow in is often the hardest for us as humans.

How do we accept the shift?

Because we have to let go of what was, in order to let in what can be.

We have to regulate our nervous systems enough to feel safe with the new.

We have to know we aren’t in planting stage any more, we are in blessed growth.

That is what my Easter chapter looks like now.

You may find me in the garden starting to grow some herbs with intention this weekend. You may find me making some nice treats (with honey or coconut sugar! LOL) You may find me spending time with my family.

But this weekend, the true Easter festivities will be happening below my surface.

Acknowledging what I need to let go of to become the person I’m becoming.

Releasing any energy cords that link me to old stories, clearing the ties that bind me to what weighs me down.

And then, rolling back the stone and with that claiming my rebirth, my newness, my upleveled light.

Resurrection stories, rebirth stories, they aren’t about individuals, they are about all of us.

These past few months and years haven’t been the world’s finest.

We can work on ourselves to create more light.

We can clear out the shadows and claim the peace we want to be.

Happy Easter. Blessed Ostara. And so it is.

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I found myself saying something in a session today that I never thought I’d actually voice out loud.

We are currently in a vibrational war.

I swear I want to backspace that. It sounds so dramatic.

I mean, the battle of light and dark, good and evil, these are the structures for a powerful fairy tale but could it actually feels like a day in the life?

The thing is, I’m noticing in my own life and in the lives of my clients that there’s a heaviness that can creep in and it wasn’t as readily available before.

It shows up in mild irritation, as annoyance, even bursts of rage or upset.

My son was setting up something yesterday and, the usual cool and steady go with the flow guy, grew tense and stormed out.

Natural for a 16 year old? Of course. But not necessarily for him.

The conversations around the table seem slightly more complain-y at my house and I’ve even heard the odd comment that felt resentful.

But we can’t be happy all the time.

I hear this often. No, of course we can’t be happy all the time and of course it’s important to have the freedom to be mad.

“Face the shadow self”
“Life can’t be all love and light” and the phrase toxic positivity give space for human experience rather than pushing for some constantly connected, spiritual fakery that leads to a mask too heavy to wear.

It’s true, of course it’s true.

We have to be able to be angry at injustice and push back against the dark.

But here’s what I’ve become painfully aware of.

The heaviness gets heavier when we rage against it.

That’s a vibrational War.

If where attention goes, energy flows, then the more angry we get about the dark, the more the anger adds to that.

Let’s not talk dark or light, ok?
It seems to always put this big dark overlord in my mind… I think the one from the My Little Pony movie from the 80s, where the force of light is a little rainbow kept in Megan’s necklace. It is so small and easily swallowed up by the sticky sense of darkness, until “The Rainbow Fights Back” and transmutes the muck.

Actually, maybe that’s not such a bad image.

But let’s talk about Heavy and Light.

Right now, there’s a lot of heavy things in the world. Hold up everything from certain files to war, to cost of living, to…some things we don’t even want to give attention to because they can’t become normalised.

Where attention goes, energy flows after all.

There’s a lot to be angry about.

There’s a lot to be sad about.

I heard a woman speak the other day that we are collectively grieving a world that feels like it is slipping away.

I’m not going to start to tell you to stick your head in the sand and pretend you are in 1998.

However, today I want to talk about how it’s vital to not get in the heaviness so far that you add to it, rather than build momentum around the light.

We have to start to claim our energy back from the heaviness of the world.

At the same time, we can’t entirely turn away from it, as we risk losing our empathy and compassion.

These are 3 things to avoid right now.

1. Resentment.
   Resentment is buried anger. It is poison we take ourselves.
   Get mad, sure. But face it, acknowledge it, release it, move through it.
   Over the years I’ve worked hard to release resentment in my life.

If you are resenting anyone or anything right now, consider choosing to find lighter stories. Work on loosening the knot that resentment ties up in your heart and belly. You’ll find freedom on the other end.

2. Fear.
   Oh right,I know, that sounds like a tall order some days. But it’s vital to find the faith and trust in a deeper flow of life. Fear is the opposite of Love.

   When in doubt look for the most loving story.
   When in fear, connect to the Source of Love you feel within you.
   Learn to regulate your nervous system. Talk with others and find wholeness.

3. Apathy.
   I was surprised when this one came up during my meditation on this article.
   The antidote to Apathy is Creation.
   Bake a cake, write a poem, plant a garden. Write a Substack. Bring life energy into the world and you will feed it within yourself.

When 2026 started I felt it was the year of the individual choice and that is showing up now more than ever.

Of course your anger and sadness can be justified and of course there will be days you’ll find yourself in the soup with the heaviness of the world.

But every day we have a choice.

A choice to release, rather than hold on to.

A choice to love rather than fear.

Little by little… we can create a better world.

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Negative energy is sticky.

Join me this coming Saturday for a free masterclass on how to Release Negative Energy From Your Body. I’m sharing the exact tools I use regularly to keep myself feeling free and clear.

Here it is March, and I’ve been letting things process and fall around me.

There’s a sense of vulnerability that has become apparent not just in my own life, but in the lives of my family, my clients, and my community.

It’s a year of one in numerology.
It’s the year of the horse.
It’s the age of aquarius.
It’s also been mercury retrograde and eclipse season.

Everything has been… well honestly, hitting the fan energetically and that’s not even talking about what’s happening globally.

Fake “gurus” have fallen.
Nightmares have been exposed.
Blood spilt and wars forced.

We are living in the middle of an uprising, a rebirth,

but that means things have to fall and die first.

It’s showing up in our own lives as well.

The other day I turned to my family and just said;

Things aren’t working like they usually do.

Random letters, or bills, or car trouble.

Our toaster blew a fuse.

I’m always repeating that everything is working out for us…
but at the same time,
sometimes the universe doesn’t actually work things out how we think we WANT them to work out.

Because sometimes how we want them to work out is actually keeping things comfortable, or how we think they should work out.

Sometimes we actually don’t even know what working out really looks like, or feels like.

But the universe continues to have our backs.

Our teams are always working for us.

Source is always present.

They just don’t always do what we think we want them to, because deep down we know we need to grow, to shift, to expand… and that’s the version the Universe is conspiring for.

So we find ourselves in a space of raw vulnerability.

It’s like we have run out of band-aids and it’s time we actually expose the wound to air.

We can hold back, hide, avoid, and want to turn away, because we are scared of getting hurt again.

But, too many band-aids mean things can’t fully heal.

Want to know how to deal with the current vulnerability?

Here’s a few steps. (and remember perfection is found in the trying, not in the 100% success rate)

1. Choose quiet. Turn off the phone, the news, the scrolling. Become friends with your own thoughts again.

2. Regulate your nervous system. Ground. Breathe. Feel safe in your now.

3. Appreciate the little things. The bird in the tree. The cat on your lap. The sun’s warmth.

4. Ask for help. From others, from your guides, your God, your angels. Know you aren’t alone.

5. Send out love. Yup. You are a vessel of love and when you surround others in the good stuff, you remember it’s who you are. It also transforms the energy dynamic.

Now I’m going to add, that right now, there’s a lot of negative energy around and that makes us feel more vulnerable!

If you can’t find the focus to actually regulate or create a shift, it may be you have absorbed too much heaviness.

I’ve created a free masterclass on Releasing Negative Energy From Your Body to support you in clearing your field and getting back to some form of anchored baseline. You can sign up here for the event on March 21st, 2026.

As the ancient saying goes “This too shall pass.”

If you are feeling vulnerable and raw, listen to that feeling.
It’s trying to tell you something.
Take extra care of yourself so you can let the wound get some air and sunlight, and you will find the new step to be your best, healed, self.

Following the nudge of my heart and guides, I found myself on a spontaneous trip to Canada to celebrate my parents 67th anniversary.

It was a whirlwind, 6 day visit.
My out of town sister joined us and the week was filled with laughter.
I got to hold and snuggle my 3 month old great-nephew. (because my family is that multi-generational!)

I always trust my trips to visit my parents to my maternal grandmother, who transitioned years before I was born.

It usually starts with a nudge of my heart, an inner calling that says “It may be time.” which I whisper out to the stars.

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But tearing myself away from my husband and life I love is complicated and I resist making plans so I throw it over to the spirit of my grandma Vivian and ask her to figure it out.

Within a few weeks a good flight always pops into my perspective.
A deal I can’t refuse or some other massive frying pan to the head moment.

One year my eldest sister called saying she was bringing me out as a gift to my folks.

She’d just had the urge.

No matter what, the travel is always seamless.

The trip is always blessed and I always know it was the right time.

Is it strange to work with the energy of someone you’ve never met?

Maybe.

But I’ve sensed my grandma Vivian around at various times throughout my life.

It was then confirmed when I started seeing healers or psychics who confirmed she was right there with me. Even a couple of weeks before my trip, a podcast guest told me she was standing with me.

Funnily enough when she first started to show up, I was told she needed me to help her.

I did some healing work, releasing her old stories of her alcoholism and abuse and suddenly she started showing up in different ways.

I’m pretty sure I’ve inherited a number of gifts from her: gifts she couldn’t acknowledge in her time of the 30s,40s and 50s.

Gifts that always made her feel like an outcast, misunderstood or like she stood on the other side of a glass wall.

I’ve often felt like that.

Genetics are fascinating. Emotions get experienced by our ancestors and get stuck in their DNA, which then get carried on to us.

Once in a session I cleared out trauma from slavery 7 generations back.

But gifts get passed on as well.

It’s a well known fact that sensitivities to energy, healing gifts, intuitive guidance and an undercurrent of deeper understanding can all be passed on through the female line.

It doesn’t mean that it was heard or listened to by those who have gone before.

Sometimes it lay dormant, waiting for the right generation to bring it forth.

We are living in an intense time of our world.

Systems are falling apart. The world as we knew it is unrecognizable.

This can feel scary or out of balance.

But I believe that deep down we can have the wisdom, guidance and support from our ancestors, our loved ones passed on as well as the support of angels and our spirit teams.

I also think many of us are being called to claim the gifts of generations.

Souls release the heaviness of their human existence when they move on.

They sometimes need our help in shifting from the stories that weighed them down, or the energy they gathered through their lives to feel free and to fully help us.

But, once they are fully aligned to their soul selves, free and clear to shine as their angel selves, they are ready to help and support us.

I once had an interview with a medium on my podcast.

She told me, through channeling one of her guides, that loved ones always wait a little to help support those they love on earth before they moved on.

They keep checking in, keep being on call, until their family circle can move on together.

I like this idea.

I always wanted to know my grandparents. I always felt a lack.

The idea that my grandmother is present, helping me do what needs to be done, supporting me through difficult decisions or making things happen which breaks me out of my comfort zone, gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment.

This trip too I suddenly felt called to start exploring working with my paternal grandmother, who actually is my namesake. Dagmar Christina Jensen may well be waiting for me to ask for connection.

It can be this easy.

There’s nothing to fear. Nothing that is against the rules.

Love is always waiting.

So ask. Connect. Write a letter to the one you wish to hear from and simply trust that they are present, because they are.

We need to shift the energy in the world and I’m pretty sure that we need to know we are not alone, we need to connect to the love that resides in the unseen in order to create something different.

Do you feel it?

This form of spiritual attunement, this sense of presence and flow is what I help clients find in my foundational 6 session program.
We start with nervous system regulation, so you feel safe in your body to create change.
We move through your own personal connection and through healing work, energetics and tools you can practice every day, so you start to feel your team present and supporting you.

If you are craving a sense of depth in your life, but don’t know how to access it, let’s connect. I can support you in living the life you came to live.
Book a time to talk here.

What can I do?
And
Why can’t someone do something?

Hopelessness is debilitating.

It is a bottoming out that has us buckling at the knees, falling to the floor and wondering how to start again.

All we want is to jump timelines.

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I was reminded the other day of a story I had buried deeply away.

An image of me crying hysterically at the UK border over 20 years ago.

Our two month old daughter, who had been born early and in the icu for 10 days, was in my arms, our year old daughter was clinging to her dad’s leg.

We’d just been told that while the three of them were UK citizens so were of course welcome in, they didn’t think I’d be allowed.

Marriage didn’t mean immigrated and I still had to process mine.

They ended up letting me in.
It had been a control game, because as a Canadian they just had to give me a 6 month stamp.

What the border officer didn’t realise was that they were the straw that broke me.

The past 18 months we’d lived at my parents house and given birth twice.
Meanwhile there had been ins and outs of family members and trauma like passengers on a train platform.

What was seen as vibrancy and life from some people, registered within me as a chipping away at my sense of security.

We had gotten pregnant quickly after the birth of our first daughter, and she was born suddenly in the upstairs bedroom.
When the ambulance was called, it led to 15 firefighters storming in my room to see me lying on the bed naked, holding our baby.

They then grabbed her, grabbed me and took me to ER where we were treated like abusive parents for questioning their care as well as the scar on her arm they never explained.

My family was furious when we said we were going to the UK for a break, to piece our little family together and create some ease.

But I just needed some peace. To find ground.

I didn’t know what I needed to do was to regulate my nervous system.

I thought I needed divine intervention.

We thought surely the Universe would line things up.

But it doesn’t work like that.

Rather, chaos, trauma, and hopelessness creates more of the same.

Because if we are resonating with survival, panic, stress and chaos… the universe can only deliver more of the same.

This may be hard to hear when the world is in so much trouble.

It takes finding the ground within the storm.

It takes finding the regulation while the world falls apart.

It finds the security in soul and light, while darkness falls.

The game only changes when we claim our personal energy back, regulate our nervous systems and anchor deep into the Source of whence we came.

It took me years to figure out how to regulate.

But only then did things turn around.

It feels like we are experiencing this need to catch a breath on a collective level.

That feeling is then creeping in on individual levels, like geysers shooting up out of nowhere, the unsteadiness is creating ruptures in our lives.

We have to reframe this back to what we know.

• If you are on a roadtrip, you fill your car up with gas first.

• If you are exercising, you probably stretch first of all.

• If you are on a plane and it’s having issues, you put your oxygen mask on first, and then help others.

We individually have to anchor into our regulated, grounded selves first and foremost, so our actions, and prayers are heard the best.

Think of it this way:

A triggered nervous system is like one of those cartoon cats, spiked up all over the place as it jumps in the air.

When our nervous systems are triggered, we don’t have access to our higher functioning selves. We loose peripheral vision. We can no longer see solutions.

So calm the spikey cat.

Ground, focus on your feet.
Feel the weight of energy flow from your head to the earth.

Look behind you as far as you can, then the other side. Tell your brain you are safe.

Hum.

You aren’t going to hum if you are in danger. It helps you regulate.

Breathe. All the way to your belly… let it expand.

There you go.

Now… call in the Universe.

Call in your team, your angels, your blessings which are your divine right.

Know you aren’t alone in this. Let their love in.

Ease your heart. Rub it, listen to it.

And then shine out to the world.

Help where you can. Send Love if you can’t do anything else.

Because from a regulated state we are truly powerful.

But you can’t find flow from fear.

It’s my birthday this Friday.
A time I celebrate because I am so thankful for the life I get to live.
Every year I offer special 30 minute sessions for the cost of my age.
This year that’s $48 USD. (They will never be this price again!)
These sessions are focused on energy healing, alignment and emotion release which leave you feeling grounded, steady and free…
So you can start the year from wholeness.

Book a slot between now and the end of February… BUT do so before Saturday when the link expires! BOOK HERE!

As we were working through the intentions and words of the year, a participant mentioned how she felt called to one intention, but her negative chatter, her head kept telling her she couldn’t choose it.

It led to a discussion around the real fear we all have:

Because we don’t actually fear we aren’t good enough… we might tell ourselves that but it’s not quite true.

As Marianne Williamson says, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Intentions…. Words… are powerful things.

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We have to find the courage to choose to be our best self.

Not just for ourselves, not just for a spiritual goal, or for our families… but for the world itself.

The old systems aren’t working any more.

It’s not enough to toe the line, because the line has smudged.

That little knocking within you, that inner calling to explore more of yourself, to go deeper and wider and fuller and higher… that has to be listened to.

We find ourselves at the tipping point.

The world as we know it… well it ain’t doing so good.

Or the earth, she’s powerful, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

But the world’s societies, what has been set up for centuries… some walls are crumbling away.

They aren’t going to be rebuilt with action either.

The masculine energy of pushing, and rationalising, giving power to the brain and attempting to logically find the way through… it is time to rebalance.

We find that balance, within our hearts and by individually stepping into our true power…

Which as I mentioned, we have been practicing being too afraid to become.

What exactly are we afraid of anyway?

That we won’t fit in? That we will get it “wrong?” That we will be ridiculed or people will disagree with us?

Does it come from feeling trapped in the old stories of being told to not show off or stand out, and just to do as we’re told as children?

Or is it the fear of what we will lose if we actually embody who we really are?

I remember the first time I saw Frozen two and Elsa sang Into the Unknown… that line:

“Everyone I’ve ever loved is here between these walls, I’m sorry secret calling but I’m blocking out your calls…”

Only to follow with… “I’m afraid of what I’m risking if I follow you… into the unknown.”

Yup. That hit home.

But here’s the thing:

If we choose to not choose, if we decide that we won’t go into our hearts and souls and instead just live on the surface, we risk far more.

It’s like settling for a mirage in the desert and then realising we’re destined to be forever thirsty.

We come here to grow and expand… as souls this is the whole point of life.

We didn’t come here to get to a certain point and then set up camp!

Rather, we came to expand and then to shine our light.

Back to our truest power and finding the courage to claim it.

What other choice do we have, really?

We can sit in fear, let life pass us by between scrolling sessions and daily tasks.

We can live what we’ve always known, keep our heads down and do what’s expected of us.

We can find belonging in the majority, talking about the same things, and nodding our heads when someone complains or banters.

Or we can gather the energy it takes to do all these things and re-root it to the home of our hearts.

We choose to be ourselves… our whole selves.

Look, I’m not saying it’s the easiest choice, to begin with. But it is the choice that gets easier with time.

The more you know the joy and fulfillment of the journey within yourself, of stepping into who you really are and living from the inside out, the more you can’t let it go.

I woke up really cranky the other day.

I’ll admit it.

Something was just niggling me.

Possibly it was some homeostasis-y type of stuff, telling me to get working, even though I’ve promised a slow wintering this January.

Possibly it was the shift from my girls being home for Christmas holidays to us being a house of 3 and two cats.

Possibly it was the untangling of knowing I hadn’t gotten the Hay House contract I’d applied for, but also pulling apart the realisation that I didn’t want it after all. (It was more of a contest than a contract and the handling of things wasn’t of my liking. An aligned publisher is around the corner.)

No matter what it was… I was cranky.

And after a number of years of working with energy alignment and spiritual connection, I will tell you I can’t tolerate cranky.

It bristles my skin, and rubs me all wrong. I feel like running away, but can’t run from myself.

So, back to my basics, my meditation, my grounding, my connection and a silent “Help” to the universe..

The choice I made years ago, to put soul first, pays off every time.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t have to choose it again, and again.

We are in the transitional time of January.

Sure the new year has started, but it doesn’t really lock in until February.

So I want to encourage you to lean in to the choice of yourself.

The world is so loud right now. There’s so much to grab your attention.

But take a breath and go to your heart. Trust what you find there. Trust your connection to the earth and the sky.

Choose to align to your truest self, your deepest self and it is time well spent.

Choose to lean into the courage to know your truest power.

And remember, the choice is a step at a time. It’s not a one and done.

The choice is simply a step.

A journal, a book, a walk, a hello to the universe, or a “I’m ready” to your heart.

It’s a workshop, a coach, a healer, a community.

It’s whatever you need to step into your unknown, your more.

And your more is your journey… so claim it.

_______________________________________________________________________

If you want to claim your year with some reflection and energy clearing as well as some deep intentional work which is anchored in your own heart, then why not come into the Create An Intentional New Year Workshop for its second round tomorrow at 2pm est/ 7pm gmt.

A replay and guidebook is sent out shortly after we are done if you can’t make it live, but when you come in person you get the added bonus of community, accountability and support.

Meanwhile, I wish you a most blessed and aligned 2026.

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A new energy flowing in and… oh it’s good.

I feel that a current of hope, of light, of positive frequencies are flowing in, and like some feather blowing on the wind, we may just need to reach up and grab it to make it stay.

I recently reminded myself that my word of this year was “Curiosity” and honestly, it may need to stick around for another year because it has served me well.

(Every year I offer a workshop of Creating New Year Intentions. We always end with words of the year that resonate with how we want to feel. This year I’ll be offering this twice online in January, so that the intentions can get proper simmering time before Imbolc in February.)

Yes, I’ve been curious through 2025.

I’ve been curious about Perimenopause, which walloped me upside the head last year and had me being a guineapig for a few things. I’ve been curious around giving up sugar, giving up stress and adding herbal teas to my arsenal of tools.

I’ve been curious about Peace, inner and outer, and about even more nervous system regulation hacks then I can keep track of. I’ve been curious about aliens, about comets and not comets and about energy upgrades, blessings and the difference between higher realms, other realms and divine realms.

And now, I’m curious about the shift to hope, because I have a theory I’m hoping, and curious it’s true.

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Over the last few months a lot of people were talking about 3I Atlas the comet. Channelers started tapping into frequencies, calling in spirit guides and suggesting that this wasn’t actually a comet, but a light “ship” of some sort; my favorite explanation, it was coming to help.

Terms like Energy Grids, or light grids, the concept that interstellar supporters of our planet were coming to upgrade our energy grids, upgrade the energy of the planet to let in more light started to flow in.

And I have to say, it resonated with me.

We’ve been asking, intending, holding space for light.

It makes sense that something would respond to the call, right?

Now, just when this sounds like hooey and you are wondering if I’m jumping off the deep end here, consider something;

Suddenly, there’s some glimmers happening in various ways.

More loving, more compassionate political leaders are suddenly emerging: Like the new NY mayor and the new Green party leader here in the UK who’s motto is “Make Hope Normal Again”.

I’m hearing stories of kindness, of openness and less judgement.

While AI is suddenly flooding our screens, I hear of people wanting grassroot projects and headed back to a sense of every day joys.

In fact, I heard that even giants like Meta are turning it back to remember that human content is successful content.

The machine, the establishment, the matrix, doesn’t appear to be winning like it did a few months ago.

And it’s had me curious.

How do we realign to hope when we are so used to focusing on regulating our nervous systems in the midst of chaos?

How do we change the story from being skeptical around what we read and see (thanks AI) to maybe re-establishing faith in the human spirit?

My eyebrow is pretty used to being raised in a “maybe” when I hear a story or read something.

Occasionally, much to my children’s chagrin, I get caught up in a bit of drama… especially around governments or a coop. I can’t help it. My drama major has to emerge somewhere.

However, with messages of hope coming from fringe parties here in the UK (Yeah, I’m so becoming a member of the Green Party… time to add to the wave of hope, right) it’s time for us to explore allowing some open feelings of hope, wellbeing, and blessings in.

Blessings…. Ahhh sweet blessings.

Maybe Blessed will be a word of the year for 2026.

How does Blessed feel to you? Presumptuous? Unworthy? Or like relief, wonder and an invitation?

I often work with the frequency of Blessed in my paid community The Energy Reset Circle. I like to set that up as the energy of the week ahead… Too Blessed to Be Stressed is a common phrase to be heard in our sessions together.

However, today I want to ask you to consider how these ideas feel to you.

Does feeling blessed create a sense of “Not for Me… ism.” In you?

There’s no limit on how many people can be blessed at one time.

What if you just accept the fact that you… and others are blessed?

What about Hope?

Where does hope settle in your skin?

Does your nervous system kick it out before it even begins to take root?
Do you wonder if you actually give the feeling any attention you risk dropping your defences? You may not be alert enough to sense danger from every corner.

If we can’t feel it, we can’t create it.

Thats just how this works. It’s energy. It’s science. It’s resonance. It’s fact.

So, as long as our nervous system’s run the show… or rather our triggered nervous system’s try to keep us safe… triggered and trying to keep safe is where we stay.

I’m putting energy behind hope and blessed.

And I’m curious how it unfolds from here.

My end of year workshop Create An Intentional New Year is coming in fast!
I’m offering it twice in January this year because I’ve really discovered how this can’t be rushed.

January is a seed selection time in the gardener world, and it needs to be the same in the garden of our lives. As long as you line up your intentions before Imbolc on Feb 1, you will have your intentions planted firmly in nourished soil.

Here’s how it works…

We dive in deep to the year that’s been. We get curious.

Then we release what you no longer want to carry and align to what resonates with you.

We then establish an open space for hope… we fill it with blessings and you end up with a New Year Intention and words that anchor you there.

It’s a magical journey that people come in year after year for.

Why not join us this time?

Sign up here.