Stephmandich

On a search for soul

Stephmandich — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 10:26:05 GMT

We live in an age where the soul is being stripped from everything, I have been trying to understand what I felt was missing in so much that I see and experience in this day and age and it was the soulfulness of it. We have lost soul because we are motivated by greed and short lived superficial attention. Obviously to ignore that money at the very least brings a sense of stability to manage other life tribulations would be naive and ignorant, so at the root of the issue I understand it and I also seek out financial stability. But the problem is when that driving force replaces the genuine appreciation of life and the hearts requirement for soul. That’s why you see so many extremely wealthy people still extremely unfulfilled and uninspired and depressed, because they forgot that while the financial gain is inevitably important the soul behind it is equally, arguably more-so. I think what I want to say is look for the soulfulness, build your life integrally around the things that truly move you, that light something up within you. Don’t allow an algorithm to dictate what you believe or what you deem should be aspirational. If you listen to or see something or experience something that hits something integral within you than that is you seeing yourself in something, then that is what is meant for you. Maybe you don’t know why or what its purpose is as of yet but follow it and be curious about it and seek out the experiences that will help you understand it. Read more and write more and create more. Follow what genuinely moves you. Allow your taste to grow. Grant yourself the freedom to change your mind. Search for the soul. Be curious. Notice the things that you continually return back to because they evoke something within you at spiritual level. The things that are communicating to you at some deep level that you can’t even explain; that you don’t even know why but you must follow it. To ignore it is to ignore your deepest most authentic desires, the deepest expression of yourself. You must also be brave enough to express that side of yourself as those searching for soul will see it and see you and you will be connected by this unseeable larger than life force. Look for the music the art the movies the words the people the conversations that ignite something within you, a certain curiosity, as there’s a resonance there that can only be felt, it’s often difficult to put into words but I think the best interpretation of it is soul recognising soul. It is one’s truly authentic self recognising itself in another, in something else. Whatever that may be. It means leading with your heart and leading with love at the forefront of your existence. I have been thinking a lot why I am so drawn to many artists from the past, especially musicians, like a nostalgia for a time I never experienced and it points back I think to the soul of it. There’s an honesty and curiosity and freedom about it. I don’t think I want to live in the past but I want to live a life that holds the same themes of sincerity and fearless expression and acceptance of imperfection. I’m not in a rush to define myself, another thing that seems to dominate our current culture, I am only here to learn, and to truly explore the things that bring me closer to myself.

A stream of consciousness following a period of existentialism

Stephmandich — Thu, 05 Feb 2026 05:10:24 GMT

Been in a deep state of existentialism the last few weeks. What is the meaning of anything and everything? why am I here? what is my greater purpose on this earth? However, spoke to my mum yesterday and she told me to chill out and enjoy this one life I have and stop thinking so deeply into everything. I've been practicing yoga and going on walks in nature everyday to bring myself back into my body and out of my head and remind myself that all I have is this present moment. Maybe the point for now is just to find the joy and meaning in the everyday simplicity. I acknowledge I am extremely privileged and lucky for this life but sometimes when I acknowledge that I then contemplate but why do I get to live easier than others, others that are more deserving, it's not enough for me to sit here and enjoy this moment because it is unfair to the others who are struggling and have had far greater struggles than I will ever know. I'm then filled with the dread of never doing enough or being enough to compensate for this fact, to make myself more deserving of this life. What do I owe the world because of my life? how do I justify my ease when others struggle? But then maybe in spite of this it is my duty to stay aware of the ease in which I am able to enjoy my life without many worries. And then that is my daily purpose (if no obvious other), blessed with this life, always acknowledging the blessednes, to make sure I live it to the fullest of my capacity each day. Does any of this make sense. I'm not sure. Overall I'm probably being dramatic and do need to chill out as my mum says, but also I think contemplating these things when you live a life that you know compared to most is good and "easy" (subjective of course), you can then continually find a deeper state of gratitude each day. All you can do I think is to be grateful and be loving and be kind and that could maybe be enough, to spread more love in a world that more often that not, can feel like it's lacking it. Even if that's in your own small community, be kind, speak kindly to others and of others, speak kindly to yourself. Send little pockets of love everywhere you go and to every human you pass by. Maybe I do not need a cosmic level justification of why I am here but just an alignment with the present moment, so that I can go about life with gratitude, regulation, consciousness, everyday generosity and consideration. Maybe for now that is enough and maybe that is exactly what the world needs more of.

Amongst the quiet of the trees you finally surrender

Stephmandich — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 06:40:08 GMT

I am most myself when I am here. I am the most at peace here. I am the happiest here. Nature shows up wild and undone and imperfect. It is both beautiful and brutal. We are reminded of our own fragile composition, it is both comforting and unnerving. Here the human illusions we use to validate our existence dissipate, our self imposed surveillance is dismantled. No need to perform; no need to justify; no need to define. What do I see? What do I hear? What can I feel? Where do I go next? The uttermost core of the true human experience is amplified, the habitually desensitized senses finally enlightened. You are no longer numb here, you are at your most alive. The presence is fortifying yet unsettling to those that do not seek it out often enough. You spend your days aspiring to define yourself with an ignorant false hope, refuting and refusing the inevitable ambiguity and nuance of being a human. Searching for certainty in an unforgivingly uncertain world, grasping for any material thing or intangible concept to bring you closer to what you deem is your true “self”. You search outside-in because you have lost yourself inside-out. But here you are amongst the quiet of the trees, the beating heart is heard, it is yours, you are alive, you are undeniably, beautifully, and completely yourself, and that is enough, because as are the trees.