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…oh wait, that was only because of the magic of the movies.

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I watch movies with awe and hope to truly be drawn into the world if it’s the type of movie that’s asking me to do so. It’s only as I began to get my own experience on real film sets, and get a little older did I begin to look at them a little more critically. Lighting can sometimes drive me nuts. The past couple of years I actively try and enjoy everything I watch. I imagine the entire team behind the camera, and hope they’re happy with the result at least. At least they got it completed.

My Wife at that time and our newborn baby lived down near the Branson, MO area for a time to get away from the City and figure out how this little baby human works. Her likes and dislikes. I was 21, working at an automotive part distribution center.

How did I hear about Winter’s Bone for the first time?

Job Board?

Did I find it somewhere?

Regardless-I met with the Producer in downtown Branson, MO and interviewed about being an Office PA for free during the pre-production process. I did get the job, be damned if I get paid. It doesn’t matter, we’re making a movie. Doesn’t matter that the office is 45 minutes away, and I was the only one between my Wife and I working at that time. I will be there. I worked for a few weeks this way, knowing they were going to invite 4 of us to Set to see the production through.

I was chosen.

Essentially a month of $100 a day 5 times a week as an On Set-Production Assistant.

Our 3rd day of shooting, we were shooting at a local high school for some scenes, with hundreds of extras that were going to be there all day. They completely filled the bleachers on one side of the gym, other film gear was around. Not sure why, but I was given the task of going over the day with all of the Extras all at once. Bathrooms, lunch times, moving around times-the whole thing. I was handed a megaphone but I declined, my voice carries. I ended up giving a rousing speech that including those things, but also got them pumped because we’re all here to make a movie.

We were making a real movie.

We could have kept those extra there for 20 hours on set that day if we needed to.

We are making a movie.

After Winter’s Bone was filmed we immediately moved back to Kansas City. The dream must begin. I just worked on an actual F E A T U R E F I L M.

I went to the Yellow Pages and looked up all of the Production Companies in Kansas City. Yes, I just said Yellow Pages and I can assure you Kansas City was not what it is now, especially with anything film related. I found them all. Dropped off applications. Mentioned work on a feature film, that was being edited. It didn’t take very long that the application process is not how '“film work” works. There are no applications.

Also, no one gives a shit when something’s being edited.

Winter’s Bone ended up being Winter’s Bone which was absolutely incredible. I saw my name for the first time on the big screen at the Alamo Drafthouse when the movie opened the Kansas City Film Festival that year. The film had already won Sundance. It went on to be nominated for 4 Academy Awards and successfully launched Jennifer Lawrence.

I often wonder what happened to that boyfriend she had while making that movie? How long did that last?

By the time all that happened I was working at a circuit board building place. A friend at the time got me that job. We had a baby at home so I did what I needed to do. Every chance I could though, I was getting experience working on people’s short films. My first Mentor in the biz was actually a very close family friend. He had completed documentaries and short films, and overall an incredibly creative person in his life. He had known me my entire life. We would go see a movie Christmas night, and chat about movies every time we would see one another when I was a kid. He was essentially an Uncle. My first real experience was logging interviews on a documentary he was Directing when I was in the 8th grade.

While I was working at that circuit board building place, I was eventually fired from that circuit board building place.

By the time I made it to the gas station I normally stop at every day, I knew. The dream must begin now or it never will.

My mentor hired me for the first time shortly after that day and I learned about invoicing. You don’t get paid the day of. In fact you might have to wait a month or more.

Oh. Cool.

Have you gathered I didn’t go to film school yet?

Looking back on those first few years of trying to freelance as a PA in Kansas City, I’m not even sure how we made it financially.

It was working though. Eventually I would be working all the time, but the rate was low and the hours on set were long. Sometimes the invoices I would send were never paid. Sometimes it was two months or more.

I did get some set experience on some pretty amazing things, especially early on.

…Yes, I’ll admit I’m pretty proud of my IMDB page. There I said it. No, I won’t post a link. That would be a little too proud.

…Anthony Bourdain bummed cigarettes off me and we smoked and chatted together during his BBQ episode in Kansas City. Top tier memory for sure.

…worked on an episode of 16 and Pregnant as a sort of Camera Log Person. Watching the episode exposed how fake and set up reality TV was. I really didn’t know.

…worked on a ‘reality’ show 6 days a week for 6 months away from home while my Wife raised 2! babies. I was also trying my best to live a single lifestyle and drank every day I was down there, which I justified to myself because I was doing it away from home. It almost killed me. The show never saw the light of day.

Started short films that were never completed. Worked on others.

Which kind of set in motion this: Stories Like This: eleven easters ago

During that time, and even while working on that show I had gathered enough…cache? from working on other peoples sets, and frankly I was tired of PA’ing so I set out to create a web series based on an idea I had. There was a time before YouTube where short form film and web series on dedicated websites were actually a thing for a bit. (Not saying they aren’t now-people are making them.)

The original Atom Films anyone?!

It took an absolute team and the power of social media to successfully fund the project on Kickstarter for $11,000. My campaign was going on at the same time as the Veronica Mars movie were trying to raise millions to make the reboot. I was on set of a commercial when I found out we successfully got funded.

Withered World was actually happening.

The web series ended up involving a couple of hundred people from cast to crew.

Got 24 episodes out it.

2 Feature Films.

Episodes were essentially released weekly for 6 months straight.

If you would have told me then that Withered World was going to be the last “really fucking cool thing” I helped create, I would have called you a liar. But, here we are.

With a growing family, I tried seeking full time video work somewhere, which led me to being a Video Producer for one of the largest corporations in America. The dream.

Of course we made great things there. Had many great moments over the decade I was there. A lot of life happened in those ten years. A lot of it life was exposed for everyone to see. I’m also an open book, so that eventually doesn’t mix with corporate life.

I did everything from Video Producing, to shooting, to Directing, to even Editing there. The corporate side of things also made me completely miserable. Doing all those things year in and year our led to no major promotion or raise my entire time there. Something from the year would be pointed out as a big enough negative to outweigh the positive. Every single year.

I was eventually laid off from there. Their reasoning, “the role is just going to grow into something you may not understand.”

To my response, “So you mean to tell me, that despite (insert list of things I do), this role is going to change into something I don’t understand?”

“Yes.”

A decade of time. Just like that. Stories Like This: A Corporate Meltdown

From there I worked on a feature with a Friend as the Locations Manager last summer that was shot here in the Kansas City area right after I was laid off. It didn’t even feel like I was unemployed, that would come later. Her and I tried our damnedest there for a minute to be new Location Managers in Kansas City. My 40th Birthday present from her were these:

She made herself one as well. They turned out great.

Hell, maybe we’re still trying.

“Lock it up guys.”

I’ve probably spent less than a week on set since that movie, which last I heard lost it’s funding during the editing process. Best wishes team, hope it gets resolved. I know we Location Managed the fuck out of that thing given the circumstances. Even if it never sees the light of day.

But this is where I sit.

Recently I’ve been given an opportunity to stay in Atlanta for a while.

It was actually my Ex-Wife’s idea who conspired with my Mother about getting me down there to give the dream another go in a different city. I’ve lived in Kansas City my entire life with the exception of that time that led to Winter’s Bone.

“The kids will be okay. You should just do it.”

I decided that day after the shock of the possibility wore off.

I’m trying to join various Atlanta Facebook groups for Video Production. Some people have been nice enough to send me dozens of names of people I should contact to continue having real video work be a part of life. Have to get started with connecting with strangers again, but at one point the Kansas City folks were strangers to me until they weren’t. Then we got to make some magic from time to time.

I do know the reality of the Atlanta ‘film scene’ has lost a lot of attention over the years as the various States of ours fight over tax incentives. The days of the Avengers in downtown Atlanta or years of The Walking Dead days might be a place on decline. I’m just one guy though. Put me somewhere.

The plan as I’m typing is: do everything I can to connect with people before I go down there. I’m going to stay for 2ish weeks. If things get going, I’m coming back either way-it’s just whether or not I’m going back. If I’m going back, I break my lease and put a lot of things in storage. I’m leaving in less than a week. I finished my Managing job at a fancy restaurant a couple of days ago.

If nothing happens over those 2 weeks. No leads. No nothing. I come back.

But what would I be coming back to?

This feels like the last gasp of a dream I’ve had my entire life.

I guess I’m going down the ‘do it scared, just do it’ path.

I’m telling you right now-job wise-production is truly the only thing I’m good at. It’s the only job I miss when it’s not around. I don’t daydream of being anywhere while I’m there, but it dominates my thoughts of when I’ll next be on a set.

Regardless, right now and after Stories Like This: it's been awhile a change of scenery at least for a couple weeks sounds friggin incredible.

It dawned on me the day before I published this, that I’m going to give it my all while I’m down there. Did I say 2 weeks? Let’s make it 3?! I’m not as young as I used to be (great sell right?!) I might be driving back empty handed. What do I do then? This idea has kind of made me realize how much of my personal happiness is wrapped in the job I’m doing. Sounds like a Story for another day. Video is the job that makes me happy and feeeeel young, if that counts.

However this Atlanta stay goes I’ve decided to take my time coming back home. Go a little further South and dip my toe in the ocean. Head east and walk around Baton Rouge, LA. Go North and settle this Memphis BBQ debate once and for all. Frankly, never taken a trip like that before, even as a family back in the day.

I do have 4 kids after all, and that’s what I’m coming back to. One form or another they need their Dad happy and healthy. One trip for me to come back better for them. I might be reckoning with the fact that maybe I’m ultimately just supposed to be a film fan at this point, and those days of actually making a living doing the thing I love the most might be behind me. What else can there be? But that’s just my brain talking. Thousands of things can happen during this time. Wish me luck.

The dream will continue for another season at least.

I thought everyone had Stories Like This.

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I haven’t written one of these in almost a year.

I see it was last August.

If I bothered to check my Drafts I would be reminded of the Stories I never finished.

I still won’t finish them.

Wait a second.

(insert TRIGGER WARNING at the TOP-using this as a reminder)

I haven’t written a single thing of substance since last September.

Last September I wrote Stories Like This: the last one.

I took a week to write it.

I had it scheduled to post it on September 17th, 2025 at 10pm.

Ideally, they wouldn’t have found me by then.

That morning got all fucked up though.

I hugged 3 of my kids for the last time the night before.

Wasn’t able to see my Oldest and it threw me.

I had a plan and I knew what I needed to do to put it into action.

But I was thrown off so much, I googled ‘whats the last thing you do before you die?’

988 came up at the very top.

I was already bawling when I called.

They sent two social workers over along with two dudes from the Independence Police Department over to my place.

I could feel one of the policemen towering over me as I sat on my front step.

The other asked if I was just doing it for attention.

I pick my head up a moment and notice that the male social worker was actually kneeling down right in front of me.

I couldn’t even feel his presence.

Not towering.

Just listening.

I didn’t even feel that he was so close and we ended up looking into each others souls for a moment.

It will be a moment I won’t ever forget.

They all read Stories Like This: the last one.

They were the only ones.

They recommended that I delete it, so it’s not something I return home to. I actually resisted the idea at first, but they made it make sense and I did.

They read it though.

And I still know what was in it.

It’s only been in the last couple of months that it occurred me that was the last thing I’ve written of any substance.

That can’t continue.

There has to be more.

I stayed in a hospital for 5 days and saw a true community there.

I had a panic attack the night I came back home because I realized that I was actually going to fucking through with it.

My ex-wife talked me through it. Much to the dislike of her husband.

I tried to call the 3 friends I added to my Emergency Contacts while I was in the hospital and none of them answered. I resisted calling, but she was the one who answered when I needed it most. Even after everything, she was the one who answered.

Panic attack began after I smoked the joint I was looking forward to smoking when I came back home. I met with my children, their Mom and her Husband after she picked me up from the hospital. We had a dinner that night and I told all of them the things that were going on that I was too afraid to bring up and were honest with them about how things have been for me recently.

When I get back to my place for the first time I spark up, like normal during that time. Everything looks the same and the reality sets in on what I was actually going to do that 5 days ago hit me for the first time.

“I was really going to publish it for everyone to read. On Substack?! How fucked is that?!”

She talked me through it.

There were certainly other blah blah and yada yadas since I last sat to write one of these or write anything at all. Sometimes things are great. Other times I’ve had to tell myself just ‘rip the band aid off’

A Friend of mine made this graphic after my time of crisis. I love her for it. It’s been my sole endorsement of AI. It was a motto she came up with when we worked on a movie together last summer. Anytime something would come up on set that might lead to a difficult conversation:

“We need to just rip the band-aid off and have it.”

Being conflict avoidant myself, it was a huge help during our time on that movie. Now, on good days-it’s a life motto.

I sit here now the day after another broken relationship with a woman. The Spotify Blend stopped. Locations turned off. The cute little reels stop going back and forth. I ended up getting Unfriended completely.

Six months just like that.

Cool cool cool.

A couple of days into seeing the writing on the wall that this relationship was ending, I was driving down the road. My brain told me:

But I Said I Love You.

It made me think of all the women I’ve said that to.

…”also, what a great title for a book.”

There are plenty of women I’ve uttered those words to, and they’ve said it back. But eventually your Location gets turned off and you get Unfriended.

Or far worse things occur.

The more I sat with that, and this recent blindside of this particular relationship ending-it just made me begin to wonder what makes us do this to the people we say we love.

This is coming from someone who has left plenty of heartbreak.

I’ve done the blindside.

I’ve done the worse.

But, gawdamnit I know I have to do something different this time.

I cannot go back to old behavior.

My hospital stay in September has shown me my limits.

I clearly flew too close to the sun.

We cannot go back.

I don’t care who you are. If you get used to doing things every day with the same person and they change their mind. It sucks.

Forever bracelets were her idea.

We just had a conversation about how we were each others best friends. I’ve told a woman I loved before that it would be a terrible idea if I were her best friend.

If I focus on heartbreak, my heart begins to race.

Rereading the texts that meant so much.

I was in her family's group chat for crying out loud.

If I sit and think about playing with her hair or how she tasted for too long I start to get anxious.

It’s a sort of anxiety we all may know something about.

What can I do different this time?

I cannot get back on the apps.

I cannot start drinking.

Okay, got it.

I’m actively going to write But I Said I Love You as a book about the women I’ve said those words to, and the ones who said it back. Only for it to eventually end. I made the life list of love. I wish I was capable of writing a book about the complexities and science of love between friends and family but I don’t have that book in me. I do have this one however. I tend to think everyone has a book in them.

I’ll change the names obviously, which will be fun.

I can’t repeat the same mistakes, and keep living a certain way because I’ve seen what that the cost is and where it leads me. I have to do something different. No dating apps. No drinking. Do. Something. Different.

…dare I actually fucking say it?!

Bah!

Sit with myself.

What if, this time, I don’t do the things I normally do?

Will I finish this book? I have no fucking idea. I basically have a 7% success rate of personal projects actually being completed, so we shall see on that. I know that is low. I’m an idea man. Finishing ideas though? Gets tougher. I did however finish the chapter of this last relationship. I’m very happy with it. Time to write the next chapter about love. As of now it’s called The Bombshell.

This little book project won’t be the only thing I try in an attempt at staying healthy. It’s just going to be added to the mental list of things I already try and do. It can’t be, I know I need more. The spiral can be real, but life is being sorted out the best it can. I know my limits a little bit better now, and the anxiety heart race of heartbreak has to have a different outcome and be put to better use.

I thought everyone had Stories Like This.

When I started the first draft, I actually thought the work was going to end up proving itself. I was going to be standing a little stronger on the ultimate point, but eh, I can’t. The sentiment of this Story remains the same, and will. I’m not wrong, at least for me. For this particular place, and where I spent the last 10 years of my work life, it turns out ‘the work’ didn’t. But there’s maybe still hope for guys like Wally Joyner.

Living in Kansas City, my teams are what they are. Players can come and go, sometimes that hits harder than some. Some won’t ever cross my mind again, and they don’t even know I existed, so I call that an even trade. Wally Joyner, a one time Kansas City Royal has popped in my brain once or twice, and I’ve found myself sharing a sentiment of his more and more as the ultimate point of this Story has been forming in my brain through various work days.

What position did Wally Joyner play? I don’t remember, I just know he played for the Royals.

Have I met him before? Never, but I sure would like to.

What are his career stats? I have no idea but here’s his Wiki.

This is as good a time as any for me to share-I love giant reports. Give me the Starr Report, the 9/11 Commission Report and in 2007, we were all provided The Mitchell Report. I sat and read most of it in one sitting.

The Mitchell Report was a report prepared by George Mitchell about the rampant use of steroids in major league baseball. I grew up with Royals baseball on the TV or radio, or even from time to time going to a game. In the midst of some pretty mediocre Kansas City baseball (I’m trying to be nice) the all time records that were so pure to the game were being shattered. In 2007 a “pure game” hung in the balance which made for a fascinating read.

However, being a Kansas City Royals fan, I skipped straight to anything that would effect me as a fan. It had already been announced, that former Royals player Wally Joyner WOULD be included in The Mitchell Report. I skipped ahead and found where Mr. Joyner was mentioned and found this sentiment that ended up sticking with me immediately. It would sit in the back of my head, it morphed my mentality, and essentially offered proof of a way to work as an adult.

On page 73 of The Mitchell Report we see this:

“One of Caminiti’s later Padres teammates, Wally Joyner, acknowledged that he discussed using steroids with Caminiti in 1998, when Joyner was feeling the effects of the game on his aging body. In an interview for this investigation, Joyner told us that he struggled with the decision whether to try steroids, but eventually he decided to use them. After taking the drugs three times, Joyner decided that he had made a mistake, discarded the rest of the pills, and never tried illegal performance enhancing substances again.”

Through the eyes of ‘toxic fandom’ before I even knew what that meant, I dismissed his reasons for taking steroids instantly.

“Well, he was an older player.”

“He only did it a couple times.”

“He stopped and let his work speak for itself.”

“Certainly not Bonds, McGuire or Conseco, ammitright?!”

I think we can all understand an aging body and mind doing what it takes to keep up with the rest of the people working around you. What I understood upon reading to the first place I ever worked to the last, if you were to ask me, “Hey, Bryce-do you think the work will actually prove itself to be worth something?”

I would always answer yes. Always.

Still will.

Which is a problem these days.

Why?

AI are our steroids.

AI use in the corporate world are steroids for mediocre workers.

There.

I said it.

I breathe just a bit better now.

Has my use of AI been perfect? No. I have tried it. That trend of high school portraits from a couple years ago-I certainly gave all permissions required to get these pics. They got me! I’m assuming they have my face forever and have been in the background of my phone since. Seems worth it.

Seemed fun.

It was just a few pills, and down the hatch!

Tried it.

…sort of hated the taste once it wore off.

This however, isn’t the use I mean.

Need to throw that draft of an email in ChatGPT? How about you just spend an extra couple minutes reading it and using your actual brain. I bet you can get there. If you can’t, then fundamentally understand-maybe you shouldn’t have the job you’re holding.

What I noticed right away from the workers around me using AI the last few years, and where the ‘steroid use’ comparison was ultimately born was from the fact they were doing it in secret. It would be whispered, if brought up at all. No one was really embracing it, but the whispers were all over the place.

You mean like the secret use of steroids in baseball for all those years?

Jose Conseco can go fuck himself after saying he played the game clean, and I guess you can too if you think that promotion came all natural.

Then the use became so rampant that people were literally handing out a piece of paper about ‘an efficient way of doing blah blah’ that they admitted in the meeting the document was made completely by AI, and not even double checked by the person who presented it. That part was clear to us all, thank you for wasting our time.

I ended up laughing at someones face after they told me an email they sent was made completely by using AI after I read it.

“This doesn’t sound like you at all.”

The secret users were really exposed once our corporation blocked various steroid websites from use.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Someone asked me.

“Oh, you know. Not to say something I wouldn’t say to my own kids, but, maybe, use your words?”

Am I saying you shouldn’t have that corporate Creative job if you need the assistance of AI to draft an email? Yes. Yes, I am saying that. However, you need to understand that I know for a fact the actual work still matters, as imperfect as it is sometimes. Yes, even despite the fact that actually may not even be a fact at all.

Also-I guess-if you are a person that uses AI to draft an email, you probably don’t care what a little unemployed worker bee has to say anyway. Which is fine…I am not a victim, but I didn’t receive a single promotion at work despite filling multiple roles for multiple years. I know I’m not alone in this, even at the same company. So maybe you shouldn’t even be listening to me (if you even are.) I thought the work was going to prove itself. It didn’t. Was the work perfect? Sometimes it actually was. That didn’t stop the fact that there was always one thing that came up on our Yearly Reviews to explain how I missed the mark. Those things range on a scale from, “sure-I own that mistake” to “you actually told me that wasn’t a big deal when it happened.” Goal post move after goal post move, whoops wrong sport. But, again, my perspective is my own without the use of AI.

I’m not even getting into the whole “ohhhhhhhhh, it turns out everyone wants to be a creative” with the use of AI. However, I assure you the Abundance of Middle Management showing off AI creations is absolutely hilarious. Can’t manage people or even good at their job, but sure show us what you fed into AI over the weekend during a meeting about real and actual work.

Being two months removed from being laid off, and working on a feature film that absolutely reminded me that I am good at this work thing, I can freely say the following: If you are using steroids to make it look like you’re better at your job than you actually are, I hope you get exposed. I hope you get called out in some meeting. I hope your whispers turn into a conversation. I hope this happens quickly, for everyone’s sake.

Wally Joyner might tell you the same thing.

“I tried it for a bit, but it wasn’t for me. I’m all out on that actually. I thought I needed to keep up, but I don’t.” (not a real quote, just sticking with the mentality.)

Wally Joyner is STILL in baseball. He’s a coach for a rival team, which is acceptable as a fan and the writer of this Story because guess what? It shows the work actually does still matter. He’s still working. It’s a great reminder, even as I sit here jobless.

Where are others from the steroid era of baseball? The ones mentioned in The Mitchell Report? Many can’t even show their face on the field because of the embarrassment they brought to the game, their team and themselves.

Sounds like there’s a lesson in there, but check ChatGPT just to make sure.

I thought everyone had Stories Like This.

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…Coffee Time?

We’ve already reached the first ‘Best Of’ because of the lack of actual writing. Who puts on this sort of pressure? Being laid off from my corporate job, only to start on a feature film (with the real feature film hours), has been quite ‘all consuming’ since starting on Substack a few weeks ago.

There was progress that was made on Stories Like This; one about former Kansas City Royals baseball player Wally Joyner and the box of sports cards that I’ve had my entire life that I am now sharing with my son; and my first 3 sexual experiences as told through the 3-Act screenplay structure, have now been classified as ‘stagnant’ in my mind. It will give me a fresh perspective when I do get back to completing these particular Stories, and others that are just in note card form.

In this time of ‘mental writing’ among everything else, I thought this might be a good time to share the writing of the Stories that have been shared so far…a little behind the scenes if you will…a Directors Commentary track.

We can start here a few months ago, with the first one:

This is a plea—plain and simple.

It’s an “I’ve been off Facebook forever-never really X’ed in any form-Blue Sky sounded just the same as the others-I got off Instagram a month ago-I have nowhere left to go-let’s hope this Substack is a place.” It’s a personal plea clearly, but it’s also asking Substack not to be just another thing as well. Since this first plea I can say it doesn’t seem to be on it’s best days, and sure-it’s just like every other platform on those other days. Either way. It’s very easy to put myself back to this morning.

…the copying the link, and sharing it directly to others would have been the mistake here. An example of oversharing I later talk about in another Story. No one really even asked about it, soooo. It’s a lot in such a small package. I also would have told you that morning that I was going to publish “alllllllll these things that have been in my head forever” and are obviously still working towards that. There’s certainly Stories I would have thought I would have shared by now. Certainly ones I’ve started and decided that it’s either not worth it, or certainly isn’t the time for ‘this one’ just yet. They sit in Drafts currently. Struggling in places like work, and having another relationship end recently led to a morning like this. Frankly still haven’t gone back to re-read. I knows it’s a lot, but it’s out here just the same.

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Second came:

This one I have had in my mind forever, which is probably how it came out to be the shortest and most concise one of all of them published so far. The question of-how do we shape our own memories has always kind of been a fascinating one to me. Playing within certain memories of what makes us comfortable vs. the actual truth is always a question worth asking. Perspective is just such an interesting thing, and this memory has stayed in tact, but writing it-The edges glow a bit more in my mind, the yard is just a little bigger. Memories show time, but at least we’ve had the time to think about them.

Next came:

…which I think only came from the Super Bowl commercial. Not sure I ever would have written anything about my favorite song of all time had it not been for the jaw on the floor moment of seeing Seal being a Seal for a commercial. The punchline is, when we are around long enough to see things get remade or ruined-Isn’t that just the greatest feeling?! Something that I’m sure will just happen more often as more and more things are remade and ruined.

After, I published a Story about being saved on Easter:

…this Story is what it is but every day the lessons from it can change. The things to take away. The things to drop. The things to laugh at. They all change, but the way I got there and this day remain the same. There are so many future Stories wrapped up in this building.

After that one, we had:

This was sort of a disaster to get published, and even had a previous version that I unpublished, which has been the only time I’ve been compelled to do so. Talk about how we handle our own memories?! This was a mess. What came first? The movies I couldn’t watch that I read the script to or finding the book? Does it matter?

I say that to say-the version it is now, it’s probably my favorite one. My mind that naturally goes to the 3 Act Structure and thinking creatively this way can lead to many Stories to come.

So, you’re saying I like to share serious things?! The writing prompt came from someone who has seemingly vanished off Substack, but I appreciate the opportunity. This Story about this song was certainly sitting on the tip of my brain stem. Since publishing this, I kind of skip the song now when it pops up on my shuffle, which is an internal fascinating move when I do.

My last Stories Like This is this one, and although I stand by it! I have wished over the course of the past couple of weeks, I had something else to act as my ‘Latest Post’, and this is also where this Post comes from-I’d rather have a DVD Commentary of a Summary over just having this out here sitting on top of my profile for over a month haha

I will say and be clear on a pretty funny EDITORS NOTE. I was laid off, not fired. Yes, there’s a difference. Yes, I should have probably known there was a difference. Yes, it is better to be laid off than fired.

…I say that to say…It doesn’t fucking matter.

…as I’ve been sitting in the production office or out driving working as a Locations Manager for a feature film, the one I got hired on a few days after being ‘laid off’ from this job. I’ve had these quiet moments realizing, and working around these people on this movie-that those corporate folks made me feel like I was the crazy one. That I didn’t know what I was doing. Something was always missing. Something was always short. There was always something until they actually had me questioning if I’m even good at THE THING anymore.

“Okay, so I played a bad corporate game. That much is true, but am I even good at video anymore? If these people are the ones being elevated? Who or what am I even fucking doing anymore? They have me so much, so there must be something I’m doing right? But it’s not getting me anything ever? Sooooooo…oh. We’re swirling. Cool cool cool.”

Well, I’m here to say and no I’m not claiming perfection-but with a middle finger to the building-I’m here to say I am fucking good at this. It’s you that had the problem.

I’ve actually laughed at myself for how wrapped up I got in some of those opinions. I wouldn’t even hire my old Manager as my Assistant on this movie, why did I allow myself to value his opinion so much and who made him a Manager in the first place? It’s all one big joke that people still have the privilege to cling to but hey at least they still have health insurance. The corporate ship is certainly sinking and it needed to be rocked on the way down.

Thank you to this movie, these sets and these people for a reprieve and the quiet moments to think about these ten years this way.

We’re back to the real hours though. The 9-5 hours got laid off the same day I did. There’s been days since starting on this movie that I’ve had a list of 20 things I could start the work day with. Just pick one and go, which is what the job requires.

The prep time has been great.

The team is great.

We’re so back.

Ironically enough, as shown on this Note this movie will be shooting across from the ‘ole place for a bit one day.

We actually start shooting this upcoming Monday.

Tuesday night, I’ll be speaking at a City Council meeting about what it’s going to be like to shoot nearby. While also asking for their Main St. to be shut down so we can shoot a ‘walk and talk’ scene beautifully lit by their street lights and land near a historical train site. The same day our little movie is essentially taking up various spots spread out over three city blocks. But, sure corporate, I’m the one who didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.

This movie is essentially my July, we wrap at the end of the month.

So much to look forward to, including what the next gig is. There are still so many people to reach out to and get connected with again in terms of working within this film community again. So many people I haven’t even met as well. This community has grown so much while I was toiling away with skills in the corporate environment. Ready to get out and create some movie magic. In the mean time though, I’ll try and get back to other Stories Like This.

Hello and welcome. You’ve come to the right place. There is certainly a beginning, middle and an end featured here. The real beginning and certainly the middle were spent on other social media platforms and to really share what 10 years (9 1/2 on staff, 6 months freelancing before) working in the same place was like, that will need to be a different Story. That is, if I’m still being considered. That’s not the point here. I will say obviously, and I’m sure you know this being in the HR Department-a lot of life can be lived in that time. I was certainly there for it. Years not knowing a game was playing. Years playing some sort of game?! Years of underachieving. Years of overachieving! Years of quiet time. Years of loud time! A lot of different things can be true over the course of what amounted to a decade.

Oh wait…you’re in HR.

Black. White.

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Sorry, I forgot about that.

Regardless, the point here is to provide just a taste of the-how do you say, “the beginning of the end” in fluent Corporate Speak?

We can start at the simple times and work our way through it, just like I literally did. Substack has been the only platform I’m on for the past few months and it clearly shows. I still don’t know if I’m using Notes the way it’s intended?! Maybe you have some recommendations?

We can circle back on this at the end.

Here’s 3 Work Related Notes I posted along the way:

…yep-I stand by it, because the look on my face was ‘process?!’ ‘talkin’ bout practice?’

…yep-took watching a lot of Survivor to draw some REAL conclusions about corporate life for the first time. Blindsides, alliances, the drama. It’s all there in our daily work life when we finally know where to look. Have you noticed this?

…yep-lets bring in a fictional serial killer to prove our corporate point. You get it. But it also, if you want to go there-make you wonder what it meant to dream as a kid? Are you living your dreams during this evaluation? These are the questions I bring to the team.

Then it got real. The beginning of the week:

You see, ‘not secure’ - that’s gut and instincts there!

Fired on Thursday.

Friday. The last day.

Honesty.

Then we hit Phase 3:

Honestly spent so much time not concerning myself trying to be a Middle Manager, didn’t think that was the goal. Turns out?! Foolish. The game must be played. We can talk about it over lunch.

“You see, this points to a logical conclusion in my head as someone who has ‘deconstructed’ from the American church. In a way this combines passions. The Disciples as Corporate Middle Management?! C’mon. That’s good.” - the DVD Commentary track to this Post.

Along the way I became a man possessed with a Substack vs LinkedIn argument I ended up starting and ending with myself. No one else was really having an argument. It was just me. I’m a self starter that way.

Crap. You still there? I kinda said the quiet part out loud.

Gotcha.

Chaos.

Time gives us a new week though. This is Monday:

Then this happens on Tuesday:

Still end up saying things like this:

I won’t be perfect. Never was. I will still probably find humor in being fired from this place. It’s too comical not to.

But arrives to this conclusion:

So, Perspective HR Person—when exactly will we be having that interview? Looking forward to the opportunity to speak to you and other yada yadas.

…you’re saying you don’t have Stories Like This? Maybe count yourself grateful.

“Just kidding, it’s a piece of Art or something.” - Someone

Authors Note:

Haven’t seen a Post made up this way before, and maybe that’s for a good reason? Still sorting out the purpose of Notes and just as many people want Notes to be an extension of your publication as much as Notes to just be random. How about we’re here for fun?

I will most definitely spend some time to digest a decades worth of work-despite it ending this way and share something a bit more thoughtful when the time’s right. There were obviously some good times, there would have had to be for us to stick around each other for so long. There were also some clear learnings, mistakes and things I just don’t want to deal with ever the fuck again. Such as-clearly not wanting to work in a place like this again. Which I’m essentially taking a chance will just have to be okay. I wouldn’t change in another place, the ‘corporate game’ of it all would just be funnier. Over the course of a decade a lot of things can be true.

Please consider A Cup of Coffee for us to discuss this. I would be extremely grateful. Thank you so much that you've made it this far.

I had this Story sitting here already, and it’s another music one. I’d rather share this Story about hearing this song for the first time than talk about work. Even though, damn it, the punchline ultimately takes place at work.

This started as a prompt which was sent to me personally: Write for 10 minutes about what you're thinking about.

What I was thinking about at the time, while being in the sauna and trying to find music for the moment-fundamentally just reminds of the times I hit shuffle just to find something with feeling.

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I was driving into work for the first time I heard this song. I know because at one point I was so consciously aware of what was happening, it became a core memory that works like a checklist at this point.

You are sitting at a stop light.

It’s the stop light on Truman Road.

You are getting ready to turn left.

This song is on.

This song.

What the fuck is this song?

How does this guy know you?

You wanted to feel something, and here it is.

I do think this song came on a day, where conscious or otherwise, my mind, heart, whatever you want to call it, I was asking for something. Show me something. Show me more. Just show it. We have to be open to the experience…open to the song to speak to you. Open to the conversation that might change your life. Don’t we also have to be looking for the song, seeking the conversation? What if we’re having our conversation with the wrong people?

…that can be questions for another time.

Now I wonder-do I post the song here and ask you to listen to it first? Post the song at the end?

It’s the entire reason why I let the Spotify DJ pick for me most of the time. It can send me a group of familiar songs I can sing to. Send me a group of songs with attitude, songs I’ve never heard of, and after someone hacking my account-a whole lot of mariachi music that I had to actually work at getting out of my algorithm.

Everyone has that moment when a new song comes on, “skip it or not?” I didn’t skip it. It was one of those songs that from the opening lyric my jaw was on the floor when I was driving into work, headed into the city so I’m glad I didn’t.

“There was fire around us so I should have known why…”

Fire. Fuck. We were in a bad spot already as I had just admitted for the first time to drinking in secret and messing around with someone else as well recently.

“…the touch of his hands were as cold as his eyes, so don’t you tell us we weren’t both hypnotized, woah, woah”

We had given “church” a try right after but it didn’t take. However-when I met the right person, _________, who actually led me-which then led our family to church and the Bible.

“The print was so small, I didn’t understand.”

The Bible! That line’s obviously about the Bible! How can we possibly understand?!

“He cut our fingers (or something) and placed a feather in our hands”—the idea of being saved, or salvation through church. Duh! The person that was so crucial in that moment of time.

“Told us we would see all our dreams and plans unfold woah woah”

Of course I fell for it. When you’re saved through this idea, you think God has revealed himself to you-and maybe only you-you think you have it all figured out. All the while, that moment of salvation is based on such a fraction of truth, that it’s only when you dig a bit deeper does that truth reveal itself to be something much different when based in reality. Oop. Times up.

All that in ten minutes.

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The song I’m referring to is from Pim Stones, and it’s called “We Have It All”

(link to music video-that I hadn’t even watched before-I don’t endorse the video haha.) Looks like I have a Screenshot, that might have been that day so I wouldn’t forget the name of the song.

…I was going to take this piece much further and go line by line about the rest of the song. You can feel free to at your own demise, but believe me when the line even towards the beginning:

“All my life I’ve been headed for hell…”

“if my heart was still mine it would go to the bottom and I would apologize to you until the day it went rotten woah, woah”

I was steering my noodle arms that were sticking out of a puddle driving into work.

I experienced this song for the first time-alone.

Felt what I felt.

I shared it with ex-wife immediately in a ‘yada yada yada, but damn it this song!!!’ kind of way.

We ended up having a conversation. It gave me a new ending to a movie idea that I had, that maybe one day can be made. But it was a conversation that was kept between us. She was already remarried-so it wasn’t even about ‘getting anyone back’ to be abundantly clear. It was just a, “hey, this song put some things in a way I could probably never, but damn it if it’s not true.”

She should have been the only person I shared it with.

I could have had that experience in the car. Dried my eyes. Gone about my day like a normal human being.

What did I end up doing?

Shared the song and that experience of driving in with three other ‘work friends’ just as quickly, and through out the day. I was an absolute mess that day, and I probably got very little work done. The divorce would have been a couple years at that point, the “relationship” I had in the office would have been over by this time as well, and I was already with someone else. So, yeah.

The punchline to this particular Stories Like This was going to be:

I shouldn’t have shared that experience with my ‘work friends.’ ‘Work friends’ though they might be. When I think about that day it is grossly overshadowed by my gross over sharing. I should have shared it with the person it was meant for and left it at that. But I have never operated that way. In work or life. Whoops, isn’t that just a funny trait to deal with? Something like that was going to be the ending, as I’ve tried since then (at my best times) to keep from sharing like this anymore with people. Turns out there’s kind of a term for it in the corporate environment and it’s called, “emotionally expensive.” If a term like that actually translated to success-I would have been running the place.

The new ending is, and I left the opening paragraph untouched from the previous draft-however-As I sit here now, I get to save myself the work from doing the deep dive on each and every line of this song and explicitly sharing that this Pim Stone person had some crazy insight to my life because I was just this past week, how are we putting it these days?

“Relieved of my working duties from the company that paid me.”

You can take your phone out right now. Get ready to text someone a GIF. Search “fired” and it’s Donald Trump. Which when that happened the first time I was sharing the F word with someone-I couldn’t help but shake my head and think, “of course.”

Shocking I know with a lens of a work day like this. We all have days like this. I certainly did over the course of almost 10 years working at the same place. I believe over the course of that time, people just have their days a whole quieter than I ever did. It’s safe to say through this lens though-I over shared at work. Just as I over share in life. As I’m currently over sharing now. These are the days I thought about as they told me my termination was because my job role was changing into something surely I just wouldn’t understand with my tiny brain. Sure. Yeah, right guys. Nice try.

The ‘Wally Joyner Stories Like This’ will be an interesting one to get back into in light of my employment status. I don’t want to give everything away but the Story essentially starts when I read Wally Joyner’s quote in the George Mitchell Report (full report on steroids in baseball) when it was released. Something to the effect of, “I was a middle aged guy just trying to keep up with the young ones.” It really stuck with me when I read it in 2007. It made me think the work proves itself, until it doesn’t. While writing, it took a turn I wasn’t even expecting, when I question the people who are OUT LOUD talking about using AI to draft their emails. What hope is there for the natural typo workers of the world? The guy who writes his emails like you’re talking to him face to face? (that’s me.) So, yes I end up calling AI the steroids of the corporate world. You don’t think I didn’t say that to someones face over the course of writing it? Of course I did. What would Wally Joyner be thinking about this? But that will be a Story for another time. It’s certainly a Story still worth exploring.

So you’re saying we all don’t have Stories Like This?

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Authors Note:

You made it this far? Woah. Crazy.

I mean-if there’s ever a post to share this link, it’s probably this one: Buy Me a Coffee and we can talk about it?

Not to sound confusing-but the time frame I mention with the opening lyrics of the song. Was sort of the “last bender” time frame that is mentioned in my previous Stories Like This: eleven easters ago

So, you’re telling me-song is called “We Have It All” and it ends up being about not having it all?!

Pim Stones "We Have It All"

There were certainly other screenwriting books like The Screenwriters Bible right next to me, as I tried to figure out things like the exact format of a screenplay without the proper software. It is particular. It’s not just writing a book and there’s all kinds of choices along the way. Considering this was also the early days of the internet this was a great time to go to a website like script-o-rama to read a script for practice or worst case a movie like American Pie that I ended up reading the script to long before I ever saw it because my Mom wouldn’t let me. These books also pointed out what Plot Points were, how long scenes should be, the “one page = one minute” rule. The list could go on.

There were two things I can point to today that make’s The Screenwriter Within influence me more than the other books on screenwriting, and in fact, sitting with the idea of this Story, might fess up to how this has just been one of the most influential books I’ve ever read in my life. Yes, might even put it up there with the non-screenwriters Bible.

First, early on I remember, as I read this book on the school bus, that he mentions being robbed at gun point. He then uses that experience to further ideas and scripts he has-seems simple enough. He writes essentially about using personal experiences in the scripts you’re inevitably going to write. Get to writing. Check.

Second, and seemingly the most important. DB Gilles manages to present what’s referred to as, “The 3 Act Structure” in a way that the other books didn’t. At least not in a way that connected in my brain at the time. I remember other books saying things like:

“You have to grab the reader's attention on page one!”

…which I could point to plenty of movies that didn’t grab our attention from it’s opening moments…

“Write what sells!”

…oh, okay. Will do. I did have some semblance of the “new” independent movie scene and a Midwestern awareness of the Sundance Film Festival. I was not allowed to see Pulp Fiction however.

“The 3 Act Structure” from The Screenwriter Within is essentially this (I apologize to screenwriters for keeping it this simply-maybe that's my issue as a writer?)

Act 1 (about 20 minutes in) ends in a ?

It asks us, what’s driving the story? I will still pause a movie, if I’m watching at home or something, if I think I’m able to identify the ? of the movie to end the First Act of the script. It could be anywhere from the 17-21ish minute mark. It’s lovely to see the structure happening right in front of me.

Act 2 (essentially the next hour plus of your movie, and where your script hangs the most) ends in a !

The ! leads into the . (period) which is the end of your Act 3.

This will not be the place to talk about or give examples of overly long Act 2’s or Act 3’s that left us with a bad taste in our mouth. Just the same we’d have to go through and list some of the greatest endings in movie history, which would be far more entertaining! *(see below)

Regardless, the format is there:

Start with a ?

Have the ? lead to a !

Have the ! lead to a .

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Every note card of an idea, or script attempt can be traced back to The Screenwriter Within and utilizing your life in a 3 Act Structure format. Further-isn’t that what I’m using Substack for, just in a different form?

After writing Presidential Conspiracy a few years prior, when I was a sophomore in high school I had the audacity to write an American Beauty knockoff, in the spirit of Robert Altman’s Short Cuts called Ruined Pieces. It featured among other stories, a student having an affair with a teacher. I then gave it to the teacher I had a crush on. But, she had a crush on me too so it was fine. How do I know this? Well-the time we almost kissed tells me that. As an adult I can say-I know that wasn’t fine. I have shared this with my own teenager, “if there’s a teacher that ever starts recommending movies like Mulholland Drive to you-you need to tell me because I’ll have their job. It’s not because they want you to explore the world of cinema.”

The first draft of my script Last Drink was written a few years after that from a bed at a Men’s Recovery House for drugs and alcohol that I lived at for over a year and half when I was 19, on a computer a woman twice my age gave me…because. Shooting a scene from that script a few years later was actually the first time I ever Directed. The plan was going to be shooting 3 particular scenes to show the overall idea, and develop some sort of pitch for the feature. It was a technique I’d heard before, and at the very least gives a completed piece of some kind! We weren’t quite able to even finish the edit to the first scene, and it sits even now, fifteen years later on some hard drive somewhere. I’d imagine today I’d get some notes about “finding a way to incorporate micro dosing.”

I wrote a short film, Return to Sender about what it would be like to finally meet my real father. I used that short film script to pass around and pitch to other Kansas City filmmakers an overall idea about what it might be like for the world to end. One successful Kickstarter later and at a time when “web series” had a true moment online, Withered World was born from utilizing the concepts from The Screenwriter Within. Those can be seen here-yes-I friggin know I should have put them on YouTube-but even then YouTube wasn’t YouTube. A lot to be proud of and Stories for another day: Withered World. This sort of remains the last project I’ve completed.

I’ve never attempted a Sci-Fi script, but I do have some ideas on characters that could live in one.

The only explosion I’ve ever written was the bunker that is underneath the White House, with all of our nations secrets in Presidential Conspiracy because it’s the only explosion that has made sense.

I did however manage to pull 40+ pages of a R Rated Shame inspired “Christian film.” What if Michael Fassbender’s character got ‘saved’ or worst case, already was?! while I daydreamed of revamping the entire “Christian film” industry during the time I was actively toxic in an American church.

I certainly have the first act and the last scene of a script centered on an affair, that truly has never been done before.

I have a short film script ready to go that would be a perfect Stories Like This around being left home alone but that Story ultimately just needs to be shot digitally and edited instead. Would even be giving myself experience with working with a VFX Artist for the first time, which would be a fascinating process…I have the last shot of the short in mind that would be pretty neat to create.

Among many other ideas along the way. These are to just name a few.

All kinds of life events have made it on some note card, or I’ve daydreamed about being able to incorporate them into a script or movie. Obviously many of them with some sort of twist to add the dramatics! But, some just don’t need it. I have plenty of real ?’s or !’s and even a few .’s that can start and end scripts. My personal experiences are my plot points.

Inside a smaller version of myself resides the kid who sent Presidential Conspiracy out to film agents. If your email or contact info was in the back of any number of those screenwriting books, I’m certain you probably received some version of this email from me in the early days of the internet.

To Whom It May Concern,

Please see the action packed screenplay attachment. Yes, the formatting is wrong, but I’m only a kid what do you expect? Happy to discuss further, just put me in the room.

Signed,

Bryce

The ultimate meaning of dreams of a kid before the world happens, are probably better suited for a different Story another day. Reading in between the lines of many of these actually, there’s plenty here already.

…sitting here struggling on how to end this thing because I want so badly to say, “and yes-all of that was put into ________ movie that you can see here and here’s how the 3 Act Structure was used in it.” For now though, it’s an appreciation post for truly how much the book The Screenwriter Within has influenced and been a part of my movie going life.

That is absolutely not nothing.

Not a victim.

Every pause to identify the end of the First Act. Every period that has landed, my brain tends to go back to this book and there aren’t too many books or three different punctuation marks ? ! . that rest on my brain so significantly even today, although I do tend to do a lot of these … Thank you for that DB.

I thought everyone had Stories Like This.

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Authors Note:

Somehow I managed to share a lot, without telling particular plot points from my attempts at screenwriting-take that AI-but so help me if there's a direct to DVD movie called Presidential Conspiracy in the $5 bin at Wal Mart in 2028.

*side note. I think one of many peoples growing frustration with ‘franchise filmmaking’ or the MCUnification of everything is the lack of a . (period) None of these giant franchises are really truly over. The driving ! just ends up being just another plot point in a sea of redone and retconned plot points. But-those movies aren’t necessarily most interested in story telling, which is their choice. I still watch and love that shit anyway, so I’m not even trying to say I’m above it. Just a note of the past twenty years of the MCU and the iterations of it since. I move on.

Within two weeks of this Eleven Easters Ago Story, I had recently wrapped working on a “Pilot” (the first episode of a TV Show) that brought me to a church right down the street from our duplex. It was far from a church show. Cops and robbers type stuff, but yes, ‘reality television.’ It would make it to air as ‘Outlaw Country.’

"Outlaw Country" show trailer

Essentially the concept of the show put a pair of law enforcement brothers vs. a pair of brothers that are being investigated as a criminal organization. The “criminal organization” was a church and a tattoo shop. The content essentially writes itself, and over the course of that season, some comical plot points are presented. I didn’t stay on for the show once it was picked up however, but in the creation of the ‘Pilot’ because of not only this Easter story, but because some of the experiences I picked up while being on a crew during the ‘Pilot’ and essentially laying the foundation for rest of the season was an experience that I won’t ever forget.

The main job responsibility I was there for was keeping track of script notes, essentially logging with specific time codes, what all of the cameras would be seeing while we were shooting a particular scene. That first day of shooting, landed me at this church, right down the street from my house. It was so close, I tried unsuccessfully for just meet the entire crew there first.

“It’s literally just a couple minutes away, and would save me the 30 minutes.”

So even just shooting this first scene, I’m already kind of irritated. I didn’t even know this place existed and I’ve had to start my day so out of MY way.

The first scene we shot would be ‘The Doc’/”Pastor”/Criminal Brother leading essentially a Men’s Group Bible. ‘The Doc’ led the men through their own Stories, which I could easily relate to. Most of these Men’s Stories took place in Independence, MO which had been decimated by the methamphetamine epidemic in the 90’s and 2000’s and frankly still deals with today. That particular drug wasn’t my thing, but I get fellas-I lived in a Men’s recovery house too, the place you go in between being homeless and having your own place because of drugs and alcohol. I drink too. I’ve used drugs. I’ve had periods of recovery. I do know what a relapse feels like, I truly do. Guys, I understand the insanity of that first drink. I understand feeling lost. Abandoned. Having questions. Living a life. Having secrets.

…but what is this Jesus they are talking about…

…all of these Stories sound so similar…

…but I certainly don’t have god, don’t quite know I ever will…

I quietly clacked away on a keyboard as my mind and heart melted.

When the Director called cut, to say I sprang up would be an understatement. Shooting this scene, writing these script notes that may not even be referenced by the editor, had changed who I was as a person. I’m not even sure I missed a word, despite sometimes it’s okay to just summarize. I looked around because I thought for sure I would see someone who was just as affected as me-I didn’t as everyone just moved on to the next thing like nothing happened. This happened though.

Working on this ‘Pilot’ was a whole lot different than the other church I was recently hired to work with on another project, literally just a couple gigs before I was hired to be a part of a crew for a TV show that would follow fringe groups around the country and tell their story. What “fringe” group existed around Kansas City at the time? (Still does, just a whole lot quieter.)

Westboro Baptist Church

Yes it’s these folks. I had met this lady and most of the congregation at this time from eventually working on this episode.

The crew followed them around for a few weeks, even shot their Sunday Service which was far more normal than expected. We even featured and interviewed people from The Hope House, the rainbow colored house that sat directly across the street from Westboro to counter their ideas. The Director of Photography set up B Roll shots of kids making those type of signs, but lit in such a cinematic way, you kind of forgot about what kind of signs the kid was making. I can see this shot on the monitor on set now, and it’s still an all time favorite setup. It’s called cinema people, even if it’s kids making their own ridiculous signs for god.

Within the time of the production of this episode, the ‘founder’ of Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps had died. The production ended up hiring me and another guy to shoot ‘the church’ driving to Kansas City to picket the musical artist Lorde’s concert that evening. Still one of my favorite production days ever, despite the content we were shooting. I was being paid to be a shooter! We had the entire car ride there to shoot and talk with the ‘new leader’ of Westboro. Understand, I’d never so much cracked a Bible open with any real meaning in my life. I’d been gifted one or two copies but that was only after I got in some sort of trouble. I’m just reminding us of this because it doesn’t take a biblical scholar to know that the folks of Westboro Baptist Church have maybe-an entirely different interpretation of certain words-than some other churches. You don’t even necessarily have to believe in the Bible either way to see and acknowledge that. So, leave it to me to finally crack open a Bible because of these people. Surely in the car ride from Topeka, KS to the Midland Theater in Kansas City I was going to be able to show this guy just how wrong he and his “church” are. After all I’ve seen his movie collection, he has the same R Rated crap I do. Where does he get to picket anything? Imma get him. The best example of what this exchange ended up being:

Me, while holding a camera and making sure his mic is on: “So, I was reading in there-it’s talking people are living to be hundreds of years old. How in the world does that make sense?”

Him: “Well, son, you need to understand what sin does to a body.”

“Oh, sure…(stammers)…ugh…I guess I’ll cut.”

I would then just move on to get shots of the drive. Hands on the steeling wheel, faces reflected in mirrors etc. Because, yeah-no one asked for an interview. Just get the shots Bryce and leave the biblical interpretation to those that…actually believe in it. We would shoot this church picketing the Lorde show that night, I remember in particular framing a shot of a few of these signs with the glow and display of the ‘retro’ look of the theater. It was a fucking spectacular shot. Unlike “Outlaw Country” which would make it to air, this episode along with the ‘fringe group’ show, that had already shot multiple episodes with other groups- did not make it to air which was pretty disappointing.

Needless to say-when you combine recent life events at the time (Stories for another time.) Not recent life events (rehab after high school.) Two very different recent church experiences (wtf is this book?) My profession of working in Video (the dream) which landed me on this show, which brought me to this building, right down the street from me. The building I didn’t even know existed. It would be no wonder that Eleven Easters Ago I was the guy who took the alter call with ‘The Doc.’ We’ve seen this scene in the movie-the music plays, the person from the pews bursts into tears, the alter call, the Pastor lays his hands on the person:

“Are you a sinner?”

“Ab-so-lut-ely. You have no idea.”

“Do you believe Jesus died for your sins?”

“Yes I do.”

Boom. You’re a big C Christian just like that.

I was beyond.

I mean. Westboro. This show. ‘The Doc’s’ wife telling me, “You know he really does this.” This church. This place. My place. Jesus. The guy who was a part of the show has now been saved. God brought him here and this show is barely even in edit. I found my place. I found our place. I can’t wait to tell my wife.

I knew we were running later for Easter activities and the hugs and congratulations as service ended made me much later. THIS FEELING though. I know that I’ve participated in alter calls before at both of those churches, nothing really changed for more than a week, so I know it can’t be that. In fact, even just coming home to say, “you should have been there! I mean, really this time!” would ultimately fall short of the feeling I was experiencing. I’m almost home though, I should certainly figure it out.

What is it?

It’s not like, excitement.

Jesus? I mean. Yes, I do know that, that is HIM. HE is HE.

Yes.

He actually did walk this Earth!

Then it dawns on me.

I sit with it just to make sure.

As I’m driving up the road I’m questioning it.

Is that it?

Truly?

“You will never drink or use another drug again.”

What?

Is that fucking true?

If that’s true that would be a huge relief to not only me, but my wife, and hell-anyone that has to deal with me. It’s been a struggle since the moment I first drank as a kid! Sure I’ve had moments of sobriety, but never a real year of it. I never really worked a real AA program despite, even living at a recovery house for a period of time in my life. Sure I can admit my life is unmanageable, but you want me to create a god?

This would be a big deal. It’s cost me so many things over the years. The bingeing.

The hiding.

So many secrets no one even knows about yet.

That is it though.

Isn’t it.

We've dropped the question mark.

Wow.

I smile in the car while at a stop light because I know it’s true. Fully aware and accepting of this new fact. I know this moment even now. The street I drove on, the small curves it has. I’m certainly glad I identified the feeling before I parked in front of our place.

I know what that moment is, but I’m not sure what it was like now to tell my very pregnant wife that certain news. Was I gracious? Was I at least cautious with everything that has recently happened? Was it something like:

“Hi, babe, I know I’ve said all of these things before but I truly mean it this time. I know, I know, what you’re thinking. But this time don’t you know, that Jesus is who He says He is? He did, like, walk this Earth and that is the thing that actually makes the words true. Seriously this time. Makes me wish I didn’t make all those empty promises before. This time because let me try and explain this feeling…it’s more of a fact.”

I’m not quite sure if I sat her down, I do know we were running late which didn’t equal a great time usually. Did I tell her in the car? Sit her down? Not sure.

Regardless the following Sunday after Easter, my wife along with our two young children went to that church with me, and went the Sunday after and every Sunday after that. They all still go.

God had freed me from drugs and alcohol that day. It is a fact of life, like, I guess literal birth. Rebirth. Saved as a new creation type of way you always hear about. I was absolutely a new person. In some ways it stuck even now. It wouldn’t be until much later I would be asking God, “why did you take that away and not this other thing?”

It wouldn’t be later until I would be asking about the ‘literal interpretation’ of things, or have questions beyond just, “are you a sinner?” Many many other possible Stories that took place within the walls I don’t live in anymore.

For this Easter though, eleven years ago.

None of those future Stories mattered yet because they hadn’t happened.

What mattered that day is that I knew I was never going to drink or use another drug again in my life and that Jesus was this person we heard about.

It was Eleven Easters Ago.

I thought everyone had Stories Like This.

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Author’s Note:

I have all sorts of pics for this-it’s just on some old phone or computer. I will find them, but the search has been difficult!

Pictured-Outlaw Country crew shirt.

The early draft of this, I actually tried my damnedest to keep everything to THE DAY, especially after all the routes and avenues my now Unpublished work went down-which as the writer-left the piece feeling very unclear with a point. However, with something like this-it can’t just be the day. Context matters. The fact that working with Westboro so soon as working on this show does matter. I cracked open the Bible for the first time, with the intention of proving someone wrong-even if that person was in charge of Wesbtboro, “I know I can zing him.” Probably not the best way to start in a book like that.

When I think of my favorite song, it’s not just the song.

How do other people think of their favorite song? Because for me it’s:

the MTV of it all. It felt like that video played once an hour.

It was the Batman Forever clips cut in with the video. Movie clips IN the video?

It was watching it with my friend Collin on his TV at his Moms house.

It was singing THAT part.

It was the Batman Forever cups from McDonald’s.

It was Jim Carrey being in the midst of a career heater following hit after hit.

It was the summer.

It was 95.

I was 9.

That song-better than the movie.

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Now. What? Almost 30 years later, at a Chiefs Super Bowl party (more on them sometime I’m sure) I watched a Mountain Dew commercial along with everyone else in utter horror as we see Seal actually being a seal as he Baja Blast’s a childhood memory to oblivion. Even as that spot unraveled, I was aware my jaw was on the floor, and I actually imagined (if I wanted to make a mess) my drink falling in slow motion and crashing on the floor.

When that ended, I was at the very least self aware enough to know that I was around many people I was meeting for the first time so I shouldn’t scream at the TV or burst into tears in front of them. Internally I was more fired up than the entire Chiefs team I assure you.

Seal.

I get it.

The dollars and what not.

Not the first.

Not the last.

But now…

Damn it man.

How could you forget about the summer of 95?

I certainly didn’t.

…this was when kids went outside.

The trophy Collin and I got that summer on that YMCA team.

The 3 points I got that season.

Seeing Batman Forever opening day, 3rd row at Ward Parkway with Collin and his Dad.

Jim. Carrey.

It was the summer that had 4 minute breaks in it to stop what I was doing and watch the video if I was able to catch it. I remember vividly standing in front of a tube television because why bother sitting down if I’m just going to watch it and go right back outside. It’s so cool they use clips from the movie, can’t wait to see it!

I left that Super Bowl party kind of wondering which was the bigger loss, the Chiefs or Seal tarnishing his own memory in my brain? A memory he obviously doesn’t even know about. I’m really trying not to quote the fictional character in The Dark Knight, but it does feel a bit like that too. Lived long enough to witness Seal play a joke on himself and his own damn song, and through various brain cells and traffic jams up there, somehow-a joke on me. (Which I know is absurd as I type it)

These three things exist.

My summer of ‘95.

Kiss From a Rose is my favorite song of all time.

Seal became a seal.

I thought everyone had stories like this.

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___As I sit here and finalize this, I don’t think I ever would have had a reason to write about my favorite song-yeah-take it or leave it-it is what it is-Runner Up Songs-would have Stories Like This as well. However, I will say if it hadn’t been for seal becoming a seal-I don’t think I would have written about that summer this way. So there’s that. Thanks Seal, even for this I guess.___

Bryce

…if you made it this far, would you consider? My Venmo

I remember walking into the store. The front door was wide open, on what was essentially the best weather day to ever exist.

I’m leading the way, my Mother behind me somewhere.

The store is slender, and you can even see the back exit from the front door.

The bike was sitting up on the shelf on the right.

Don’t remember the name of the store, but I think it’s the first thing I see when we walk in. For me.

I don’t remember the worker or my Mom taking it off the shelf. I don’t remember paying for. I don’t remember walking the bike out.

I do however, remember the backyard of Aunt Judy’s house in slow motion as I went in circles.

It’s weird the things we remember and the things we don’t.

I know the bike was too high to reach, and in my mind it’s on the right-but seeing it from the doorway which is perfectly symmetrical in my mind? Maybe not exactly, but maybe some of that is true.

Leading the way? Do my kids feel like they’re leading when I’m ultimately just keeping an eye on them from behind?

Slow motion back yard? Definitely not, but it’s my first bike story so of course it is.

I certainly remember my first bike this way.

Do we all remember our first bikes this way?

Does it even matter if you do? Because I do.

I thought we all had stories like this.

Just another thing I do once, after a brief hit of excitement, it stops.

Just another thing I tell a friend about, they get excited on my behalf, and I stop after the relief we all feel once something GREAT is off our chests and we’re able to breathe again.

Please don’t let this be just another idea.

Please don’t let this all be for nothing.

There’s been an idea that I’ve had in my head, probably for a couple years at this point. Even then, when the idea was just forming, I certainly thought to myself, “not another one.”

This idea like many others never brought the actual work of pen to paper.

Considering I’m not even a screenwriter, that part tracks.

Screenwriters write screenplays.

I’m not a writer.

This idea. Basic and lackluster, an idea just the same. Has been simmering. Simmering so long that plot point after plot point just seemed to get mapped out. Unnamed characters say things to each other, even just in my head. Family trees and dynamics just end up getting formed. But, again this idea was never something to get too excited about, certainly not something to stick around or continue to think about. It’s just too basic of an idea.

Has it been done before? No, but still-it’s just too basic.

Please god please don’t just let this be another thing.

Please god don’t let it be for nothing.

So strange though. How ideas form. How days merge to weeks. How things need to be worked out, even just to ourselves. It doesn’t feel like clarity, but there is a clearing.

A clearing big enough to tell yourself, “Oh. Wait. I must have missed the day you became an actual screenwriter who gets approached to pick and choose your writing projects.”

“Excuse me?”

“You fucking heard me.”

“Yeah, but it’s like-sorta PG-13 bullshit.”

“…and…but the ending is cool?”

“Of course.”

“Well…when and for how long has this been going on? Yeah-look at that-you do have an ending. Time to face the facts. You have yourself a complete story.”

“Oh. Would you look at that. I do.”

“You do. Despite all these things you don’t ACTUALLY write. And yes, despite this and many other ideas-No one is actually coming to stick you in a room, sit you down and ask for them. You realize this, right? Where do you get to pick and choose your writing projects?”

Please don’t just let this be a mind trick.

“I do know that. That I’m not going to get plucked for the dream writers room in some dream place on dream show on some dream thing after dream thing. The writers rooms don’t even know I’m not a writer. I know this.”

Then this thing arrives.

Might even be the mission statement for the whole thing.

But, by god we don’t have to talk about the whole thing yet.

I write it on a note card, and pin it to the board along with some of the other plot points that I’ve already been poking holes in. Creating questions with the story that may not even need to be asked. But it’s putting what has been in my head down on SOMETHING. Unnamed characters, are still unnamed but who gives a shit.

The note card that gets pinned:

“Elevate the PG13 bullshit and it’s not PG13 bullshit anymore.”

That means-fucking-whatever-I’ve certainly eye rolled when creatives talk about-bleh-"the process”-but it means something.

From an ‘audience standpoint’ I’m telling you there won’t be any nudity or a ton of language-but maybe there’s freedom in some choices considering the material.

From a creative standpoint-I’m telling you-It becomes, damn, something much more than that. It becomes the movie idea that I sat on, and I said dear god please don’t let it be just be another one in a long list of other movie ideas. Other ideas that maybe never made it to even a note card, all because they were too basic. It becomes the most important thing I can ever write, considering I’m not even a writer, that should count for something. It becomes not only the thing I start, after a long list of starts. It becomes the thing I finish. It becomes the thing I asked god for, and look at that-even if it never makes it to screen, might end up making a screenplay.

Okay.

This did the trick.

The first scene! Found a way (I think) to express a lot of what the audience and reader need to know about the world. Whew. I mean, after all-I’ve had that first scene in my head for some time; how I would like to introduce this character and elements etc etc blah blah. It was just all too simple to actually write down. Not a writer anyway, so I guess it’s really just to try and get this completely basic idea that’s never been done before out there for the rest of us to see.

Please god don’t let this be a trick.

Don’t let this be the only scene.

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I’ve been on Substack a couple months and it finally dawned on me that this can just be dumping ground of making sure I know I existed at one point.

Here’s my Letterboxd:

Bryce Young Letterboxd

One of my favorite apps! Going through and logging movies-one of the best past times.

I shared a podcast ep I was on as a Note-why not share it here?

It’s quite a bit if that’s an actual intro between us.

Something a bit less to know about me—I did create a web series back in the day when that was something-I’ve also shared it on a Stories Like This. It’s here:

https://vimeo.com/witheredworld