<script data-pm-proxy="intercept"></script><?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></title><description><![CDATA[Recovery Support Specialist with lived experience: survivor of childhood physical, psychological & sexual abuse, successfully navigating Major Depression & CPTSD. Founder at SupportGrove. ]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg</url><title>Christopher Holvenstot</title><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Tue, 01 Sep 2026 05:10:09 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[supportgrove@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[supportgrove@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[supportgrove@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[supportgrove@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[Fearless Intentional Open-Heartedness]]></title><description><![CDATA[Most of us, if we were lucky, experienced periods of safety in childhood or even later in life, that allowed us to be in the flow: openhearted, open-minded, curious, playful, free in spirit.]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/fearless-intentional-open-heartedness</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/fearless-intentional-open-heartedness</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 20 Jul 2026 12:13:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span>Most of us, if we were lucky, experienced periods of safety in childhood or even later in life, that allowed us to be in the flow: openhearted, open-minded, curious, playful, free in spirit.  When we are in that state of being, all is good, we are present, in the moment, aligned with our creative intuition, connected, joyful, peaceful, naturally loving, egoless, we dissolve into the unified oneness of everything.  In that state of being, we do not feel the need to control the situation, set rules, fear others, oppress, feel superior, compete, bully the marginalized, crave power, stockpile resources, withhold information, lie, manipulate, exploit, colonize, torture, and murder. These are all the behaviors of traumatized people whose in-the-flow state of being was shattered, whose nervous systems were primed by adverse experiences, and who turned these immediate-need survival-behaviors into long-term coping strategies long after the threat to their survival was resolved.  These are automatic trauma-response behaviors philosophized into belief systems that are taught to us as &#8216;reality&#8217; generation after generation.  &#8220;Wake up; grow up; the world is THIS way, NOT a childish openhearted playground.&#8221;</span></p><p><span>There are many ways to frame the violent and chaotic historical narrative of humanity and a trauma-informed awareness needs to be an important feature of our understanding; especially if we hope to make positive changes to the divisive, cyclically retraumatizing, brutal, unjust, inequitable, self destructive/world destroying, trajectory of human lived experience.  Are we at a turning point or witnessing the endgame?  That choice is up to us.</span></p><p><span>If we decide it is a turning point then each of us is a trim tab: the tiny flap on the huge rudder of a behemoth seagoing vessel that begins the turn when large scale momentum prevents the rudder from shifting on its own.  The turning point then, is highly personal.   What prevents us from being in the flowstate and what can we do to return there? What has to be addressed and overcome? Is it cultural beliefs? Tradition? Reputation? Ego? Fear? Prejudice? Abuse? Racism? Sexism? Homophobia? Transphobia? Xenophobia? Ageism? Economic injustice?  Trauma?  Ideas about your proper role, responsibilities, position? What knocked you off your game?  Is it possible to regain that ideal open state despite ongoing adversity and responsibility?  And wouldn&#8217;t this be the social justice revolution we need? The unified marginalization of hatred by fearlessly asserting the open heart?  We see this already in Black pride and resilience, in Gay pride and resilience.  We see that joy, and music, and unity is still possible despite the overt and systemic hatred and violence.  We all can be an equally courageous part of this, amplifying it, overwhelming the misguided opposition.</span></p><p><span>From outside this openhearted flow state it seems like we have to toil, push, struggle, compete, oppress, and manipulate the world to get there: getting into the right school, the right job, finding the perfect partner, affording the perfect car, the perfect vacation, the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, the perfect stockpile of wealth, being perceived as successful, etc.   If and when we do finally get into the flow state we can suddenly see it is available to anyone at any time with zero restrictions and zero requirements.  And we suddenly see its actual value as it is the only state from which to cultivate the life embracing qualities of joy, love, peace, cooperation, connection, empathy, compassion, creativity, etc. (the qualities of a world we actually want to live in).   And this free-to-everyone private act of internal repositioning has a public effect: we automatically give permission to those around us to cultivate the same qualities and achieve the same internal state, without achieving their own list of external validations and goal posts.  We are at a point where we all understand this, it is practically a cliche.  So&#8230; are we witnessing the endgame or is this the turning point toward something new and better?</span></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[STIGMA]]></title><description><![CDATA[Stigma is commonly defined as a mark of disgrace, shame, or disapproval that sets a person apart.]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/stigma</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/stigma</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2026 11:59:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><span>Stigma is commonly defined as a mark of disgrace, shame, or disapproval that sets a person apart.  Social stigmas are usually based on highly-reductive, often dehumanizing stereotypes about mental health, diseases, trauma, addiction, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, immigration status, or economic circumstances.  Stigma functions as a primary tool for &#8220;otherizing&#8221; individuals in order to maintain hierarchical power and to exclude access to resources, resulting in systemic oppressions like racism, sexism, and homophobia. The effect on victims of stigma-reinforced otherizing is internalized shame, unfair treatment, reduced opportunities, social isolation, and decreased self-worth.</span></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><p><span>For those navigating mental health, addiction, abuse, and trauma, this stigma-induced, shame-based isolation functions as a secondary traumatic wound that prevents people seeking support until they are in full-blown crisis.  For those navigating the complexities of sexism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, economic disparity, housing insecurity, etc., social stigma functions as a primary traumatic wound that increases the stresses that often result in mental health issues and addiction. Stigma is a circular system wherein the downstream psychological effects of being dehumanized are often used as the reason for additional stigmatization.</span></p><p><span>Because stigma is built by social agreement and maintained with silent complicity, it can only be dismantled by openly contradicting it; by disagreeing, by speaking up, by defending those under attack.  In addition to the unnecessary individual suffering it causes, the net result of unchecked social stigma and the unhealed trauma it causes, is a culture dominated by defensive, easily triggered, dysregulated, fear-based, reactionary behaviors and by an ever-increasing need to control &#8216;others&#8217;.</span></p><p><span>Both aspects of stigma (the fear-based hatred at its source, and the shame-based isolation of its effects) are often internalized within the same individual.  Addressing our personal internal prejudices as well as the damaging effects of external prejudices on our own ability to be authentic, becomes an opportunity to begin consciously cultivating the authentic qualities in ourselves that naturally oppose injustice and inequity.  We cannot align with the bullying, fear-based worldview that stigmas reinforce </span><em><span>and also</span></em><span> be our authentic, openminded, openhearted, in-the-flow, true selves.  We cannot control and suppress &#8216;others&#8217; </span><em><span>and also</span></em><span> be grounded in love, peace, joy, unity consciousness, and creative inspiration.  By acknowledging and embracing the internal dilemma between stigma and our true selves, we can begin to see how dismantling social stigmas from within can be the catalyst for enhancing our own personal life-satisfaction </span><em><span>while also</span></em><span> fostering a kinder, saner, more harmonious social collective.</span></p><h2><strong><span>5 Easy Ways to Dismantle Stigma</span></strong></h2><ol><li><p><strong><span>Self-reflection: </span></strong><span>Take time to interrogate your own fears and prejudices and the faulty beliefs that sustain them. Move beyond the lazy habit of grouping people into types and learn to see everyone as a unique, sovereign individual, on a journey at least as gigantic, difficult, and confusing as your own.</span></p></li></ol><ol start="2"><li><p><strong><span>Acknowledge the Source and Purpose: </span></strong><span>Recognize that internal prejudices often stem from fear-based social norms instilled in us by family and community. Dissect these and understand them for what they are.  Understand that division and dehumanization are the root causes of civic discord and unnecessary suffering.</span></p></li></ol><ol start="3"><li><p><strong><span>Reframe Perspectives: </span></strong><span>Choose peer to peer compassion over fear-based hierarchical control. Understand that by simply aligning with your authentic, open-hearted, open-minded original self you automatically eliminate the need to control or demean others. How do you want your life to feel: powerful at the expense of others; or deeply connected and in the flow?  Which perspective creates a safer saner world?</span></p></li></ol><ol start="4"><li><p><strong><span>Stronger Communities: </span></strong><span>Seek and create non-hierarchical, peer-based communities. Building authentic, vulnerable peer-to-peer connections across traditional social boundaries is the most effective mechanism for healing and dissolving harmful stigmas.</span></p></li></ol><ol start="5"><li><p><strong><span>Advocate Through Intentional Language: </span></strong><span>Use person-first and healing-centered language. Shift mental health narratives from &#8220;What is wrong with you?&#8221; to &#8220;What happened to you?&#8221;  Use language that prioritizes dignity, recovery, and resilience over judgement and pathologizing frameworks.</span></p></li></ol><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[TRAUMA]]></title><description><![CDATA[the importance of a more comprehensive understanding]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/trauma</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/trauma</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 13:03:16 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Christopher Holvenstot</p><p>Trauma is often misunderstood as a single catastrophic event. In reality, trauma is not defined by the experience itself, but by the nervous system&#8217;s inability to process and integrate that experience, and by what happens to the mind and body over time when the effects of unprocessed trauma remain untreated.   Whether resulting from a singular incident or prolonged exposure to adversity, the impact is a fundamental shift in how an individual perceives and experiences the world, themselves, other people, and personal safety.</p><p>When the amygdala (the brain&#8217;s alarm system) becomes overactive, it holds the body in a state of hyper-vigilance. This physiological response can manifest as emotional dysregulation, memory fragmentation, a persistent sense of threat, high cortisol levels, permanent defensive tension held throughout the body, and a host of stress-related chronic health conditions that severely diminish life expectancy.  Recognizing trauma as a biological injury (rather than focusing on dysregulated behaviors as a character flaw) is an important first step.  A wide array of outdated social stigmas surrounding trauma, abuse, and the downstream side effects of untreated trauma (addiction and mental health issues) continue to jeopardize relationships and employment, preventing people from sharing the truth of their experience and seeking support for their recovery.</p><p>Given our understanding that trauma is the biological response rather than specific events, it is helpful to broaden our understanding of the kind of experiences that contribute to the creation of complex sets of biological issues that would benefit from the variety of healing methods now available. Trauma can stem from any event that overwhelms an individual&#8217;s internal resources and often involves:</p><ul><li><p><strong>Physical Abuse: </strong>Deliberately aggressive or violent behavior that results in bodily injury.</p></li><li><p><strong>Sexual Assault:</strong> The violation of bodily autonomy through non-consensual contact.</p></li><li><p><strong>Systemic Oppression:</strong> The daily, cumulative weight of racism, sexism, discrimination, legacy burdens/generational trauma.</p></li><li><p><strong>Combat Exposure:</strong> The sustained stress and moral injury of warfare.</p></li><li><p><strong>Veterans&#8217; Experience:</strong> Deep isolation, lack of shared experience in civilian life, PTSD, participation guilt, toxic masculinity, belief system collapse, institutional betrayal.</p></li><li><p><strong>Natural Disasters:</strong> Fires, floods, or earthquakes that result in loss of home or safety.</p></li><li><p><strong>Severe Accidents:</strong> Near-death experiences or major vehicular crashes.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><strong>Emotional Neglect:</strong> The chronic absence of emotional mirroring and caregiver support.</p></li><li><p><strong>Parental Substance Abuse:</strong> Growing up in an unpredictable or volatile environment.</p></li><li><p><strong>Domestic Violence: </strong>Being battered or witnessing the battering of a family member.</p></li><li><p><strong>Divorce or Family Separation:</strong> Sudden disruptions to the foundational family unit.</p></li><li><p><strong>Institutional Betrayal:</strong> Abuse or neglect at the hands of organizations meant to protect (schools, religious groups, medical systems, nursing homes).</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><strong>Dysfunctional Family Systems: </strong>The normalization of abuse and toxicity in a home environment. The effect of family scapegoating.  The gaslighting of victims while protecting abusers.</p></li><li><p><strong>RelationshipTrauma:</strong> Toxic relationships, divorce, betrayal, codependency</p></li><li><p><strong>Justice System Impact: </strong> Incarceration, legal system trauma, reentry challenges</p></li><li><p><strong>Religious &amp; Spiritual Trauma:</strong> Leaving high-control religions, spiritual abuse, faith deconstruction.</p></li><li><p><strong>Identity &amp; Belonging</strong> - LGBTQ+ experiences, cultural identity struggles.</p></li><li><p><strong>Shunning: </strong>Social rejection by peers, family, churches, organizations, or community.</p></li><li><p><strong>Medical Trauma:</strong> Distressing diagnoses, painful and/or highly invasive procedures, dismissive or demeaning healthcare experiences.</p></li><li><p><strong>Workplace Harassment:</strong> Sustained bullying in toxic professional environments that threaten livelihood and create untenable levels of stress.</p></li><li><p><strong>Secondary Trauma:</strong> The compassion fatigue experienced by first responders, EMTs, caregivers, physicians, nurses, teachers, social workers, case managers, recovery support personnel, soldiers, police officers, lawyers, judges &#8212; anyone who regularly witnesses the suffering of others.</p></li></ul><ul><li><p><strong>Loss:</strong> Includes a wide range of experiences from the sudden, unexpected or violent death of a loved one to the destabilizing loss of title, rank, position, economic status, or emotional bonds.</p></li><li><p><strong>Disenfranchised Grief:</strong> Specifically, the loss that society does not acknowledge or allow the individual to openly mourn (such as pregnancy loss, the death of an estranged relative, or the death of a loved one by suicide or overdose).</p></li><li><p><strong>Housing Insecurity:</strong> Homelessness, housing instability, survival experiences.</p></li><li><p><strong>Refugee &amp; Immigrant Journeys: </strong>Displacement, cultural Identity, family separation, resettlement stress, border trauma, the effects of constant fear, detention trauma</p></li><li><p><strong>Self Harm &amp; Suicidality:</strong> Self inflicted retraumatization in an attempt to control the pain of previous unresolved traumas. </p></li></ul><p>This is by no means a comprehensive list. I encourage readers to provide additional traumatic lived-experiences in the comment section.</p><p>The simplest way to comprehend trauma is to understand that an event or circumstance has altered our ability to feel safe and has therefore curtailed our ability to be free, confident, authentic, loving, and in the flow of the present moment.  Trauma takes us out of ourselves and out of resonance with others. By understanding trauma as an exceedingly common effect of ANY adverse experience, and by understanding the wide array of experiences that typically result in personal trauma, we can begin to see how our lived experiences (as well as those around us) may have unwittingly affected our natural ability to feel free, safe, authentic, and in the moment.</p><p>One need not endure severely traumatizing experiences in order to benefit from the advances in trauma remediation that reconnect us to the joy and freedom of our authentic selves.  Only in our free, authentic, openhearted state can we co-create resilient authentic compassionate communities.  Understanding, acknowledging, and addressing trauma is therefore the most logical and efficient way to create a safe and harmonious collective future.</p><p></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195342593&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195342593"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/trauma?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/p/trauma?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Healing Pathways]]></title><description><![CDATA[manifold and multifarious, the more the merrier]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/healing-pathways</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/healing-pathways</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 27 Apr 2026 13:17:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Drawing from progressive clinical frameworks and peer-support models, we can categorize the trauma healing process into three essential stages:</p><ol><li><p><strong>Safety and Stabilization</strong><br>Before any deep &#8220;inner work&#8221; can begin, the nervous system must feel a baseline of safety. This involves stabilizing the environment, establishing predictable routines, and learning somatic grounding techniques to manage immediate distress. In this stage, we are not looking for &#8220;why&#8221; we feel this way&#8212;we are simply learning how to be &#8220;here&#8221; without being overwhelmed.</p></li><li><p><strong>Processing and Integration</strong><br>Once stabilized, we can begin to safely revisit and re-contextualize traumatic memories. This is where various modalities come into play.  <em>Mind-Based Approaches</em> such as <strong>Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)</strong> or traditional talk therapy, help us understand and reshape the narratives we&#8217;ve built around our pain.  <em>Body-Based Approaches</em> such as <strong>Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing </strong>(<strong>EMDR)</strong>, <strong>Internal Family Systems </strong>(<strong>IFS</strong>), or<strong> Somatic Experiencing</strong>, address the body memories, built in patterns of defensive muscle tension, and the physiological imprints of trauma that can usurp our movement, pain threshold, stress levels, inflammatory markers, and physical health outcomes.</p></li><li><p><strong>Reconnection and Purpose</strong><br>The final stage of a healing is the ability to own and effect recovery beyond the self. This involves re-entering the community in a new way, forming healthy interrelationships, finding meaning in one&#8217;s experiences, and realizing that our worst adverse experiences that seemed so painful and so pointless, can be transformed through healing into a valuable tool for helping others.</p></li></ol><p>In order to provide our nervous systems with multiple avenues for regulation and release it is helpful to diversify our healing menu and incorporate additional complimentary modalities, such as:</p><p><strong>Trauma-Informed Yoga:</strong> Focuses on noticing and releasing the normalized patterns of stress and muscle tension associated with our adverse experiences.  Yoga helps us reclaim agency over our own body, cultivate a new and more sensitive relationship to its unique emotional expressiveness, and develop the capacity to create inner peace in order to recognize our own subtle intuitive intelligence.</p><p><strong>Tai Chi and Qigong:</strong> Gently denormalizes anxiety and depression via slow meditative movements that emphasize balance, breath, and the flow of life energy.  When done in groups you can share in the grounding experience of collective regulation and collective flow.</p><p><strong>Somatic Experiencing:</strong> Emphasizes the conscious awareness and exploration of bodily sensations (as opposed to a purely cognitive focus on thoughts or memories) in order to facilitate the discharge of trapped survival energy (fight, flight, or freeze responses held within the nervous system).</p><p><strong>Meditation and Breathwork:</strong> Science-back methods for stimulating the vagus nerve, which signals to the brain that it is safe to relax and fully inhabit the present moment.   This helps us to cultivate stillness, silence, and peace, at will rather than waiting for a non-stop busy world to provide us these essential nervous-system-regulation rarities.</p><p><strong>Sound Healing:</strong> Utilizes specific frequencies through singing bowls, chanting, or binaural beats to shift brainwave states and facilitate deep cellular relaxation.</p><p><strong>Forest Bathing (Shinrin-yoku):</strong> Mindful immersion in nature has been shown to lower cortisol levels and reduce the physiological symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression.</p><p><strong>Art and Music Therapy:</strong> Allows for the processing of traumatic imagery and emotions through creative, non-verbal channels and are easy access points to the flow state and to a temporary loss of rigid time awareness.</p><p><strong>Journaling: </strong>Enables the mind to express what the voice is often too constrained to reveal, and allows us to capture what the mind is often too fleeting to hold. Physically externalizing thoughts and ideas allows us to reflect upon their validity from the perspectives of future mind-states, and to alter or build upon what we have written.</p><p><strong>Animal-Assisted Therapy:</strong> Rebuilds a sense of trust and unconditional safety that may have been lost in human relationships and it allows us to participate in the natural co-regulation of grounded beings.</p><p><strong>Altruism and Service:</strong> Utilizing our lived experience to support someone else transforms our pain, our disease label, the isolation of our hidden burden, the heaviness of our proverbial baggage, into a source of value for others and into authentic community connection founded upon the vulnerable truth.</p><p>Please suggest additional healing modalities in the comments and we will add them here.  When we combine trauma-focused clinical insights with these or other additional modalities, we build a robust, resilient lifestyle that can better support our long-term well-being.  The most important tenet of any healing pathway is <strong>agency</strong>.  Because trauma is often attended by a loss of power, the recovery process must be something we choose, not something that is either done to us or that we submit to in order to appease others.   At the same time, it may be inspiring to remember that our own healing reverberates outward through all our interactions with others and contributes to the unfolding of a new level of social harmony.</p><p>By choosing to heal ourselves, we are healing the collective. Every time we regulate our own nervous system, we make the world a slightly safer place for everyone else. If one disgruntled, dysregulated person can bring down the energy in a room, the individual operating in the full-on, open-minded, open-hearted flow state can lift everyone up while providing proof that freedom and authenticity are possible in the here-and-now. Fortunately, we have a built-in bias leading us toward social harmony: most people automatically resonate with the person who is in the flow state rather than the dysregulated angry person.  In other words, a tiny bit of momentum in our ability to live authentically and joyfully can help take the collective toward our desired societal transformation. And, to be clear, one does not need to have been traumatized in order to proactively contribute to the upward momentum, but, given the natural trajectory of recovery, trauma is the unseen hand pulling back the slingshot; making the recovery process a powerful catalyst for co-creating social harmony.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195625149&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195625149"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/healing-pathways?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/p/healing-pathways?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Maladaptive Coping Strategies]]></title><description><![CDATA[how to spot them, love them, thank them, and let them go]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/maladaptive-coping-strategies</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/maladaptive-coping-strategies</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2026 12:03:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Much of the discord that we experience in relationships and in society stems from problematic behaviors and beliefs that were formed as a result of previous adverse experiences.  When viewed through the lens of trauma, what might be perceived as character flaws are actually maladaptive coping strategies, old survival tools that may have worked briefly in the past but which have outlived their usefulness.  The human nervous system prioritizes survival and efficiency.  Until we subject them to curious inquiry, our subconscious habits formed during crises like abuse or betrayal remain permanent, automatic responses.  Trauma skews the mind toward  fear-based hyper-vigilance, which disables our ability to accurately assess safety in the present.  <strong>Maladaptive coping strategies</strong> often co-manifest as anxiety, substance misuse, hopelessness, psychosis, burnout, and more, which inadvertently disable healthy emotional processing.</p><p>Whether adversity is actual or merely perceived, our nervous systems typically deploy a common set of response mechanisms to manage the expectation of traumatic pain.  Spotting them in ourselves is a first step.  Most maladaptations fall into the following five categories: <em>fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or denial</em>.</p><p><strong>Fight Responses: Domination as a Shield</strong></p><p>These behaviors are desperate attempts to micromanage the external environment to secure a sense of safety, typically resulting in disruptive interpersonal dynamics, such as:</p><ul><li><p>Explosive episodes of rage and intense anger</p></li><li><p>Utilizing yelling or verbal abuse as a protective barrier</p></li><li><p>Controlling the actions and behaviors of others</p></li><li><p>Bullying to maintain dominance</p></li><li><p>Rigidity and an unreasonable lack of flexibility</p></li><li><p>Fragile narcissism or easily triggered irritability</p></li><li><p>Deflecting emotional truth and personal accountability via shaming and blaming others</p></li></ul><p><strong>Flight Responses: Escape as Relief</strong></p><p>Rooted in a subconscious mandate to flee perceived threats, this response often manifests as:</p><ul><li><p>Workaholism or perfectionism used to outrun difficult emotions</p></li><li><p>Avoidant behaviors, such as skipping events or evading conflict</p></li><li><p>A pattern of prematurely ending relationships or shifting jobs</p></li><li><p>Substance misuse aimed at temporary anxiety relief</p></li><li><p>Self harm and suicidality to disrupt or terminate otherwise persistent agony</p></li><li><p>Panic disorders and a state of constant restlessness</p></li><li><p>Compulsive busyness</p></li><li><p>Dangerous overspending</p></li><li><p>Excessive digital consumption</p></li><li><p>A chronic inability to be alone, still, quiet, and at peace</p></li></ul><p><strong>Freezing: Disconnection as Stasis</strong></p><p>When stress becomes insurmountable, the system may shut down entirely, employing a &#8220;playing dead&#8221; mechanism to survive, or it may shift into altered states or altered versions of reality.   The success of the freeze response in our original trauma can result in the long-term psychological normalization of:</p><ul><li><p>Severe dissociation</p></li><li><p>Delusions and hearing voices</p></li><li><p>Frequent zoning out</p></li><li><p>Internal emotional numbing</p></li><li><p>Emotional and relational detachment</p></li><li><p>Chronic procrastination and indecisiveness</p></li><li><p>Social withdrawing and self-isolating</p></li><li><p>Persistent fatigue and cognitive brain fog</p></li><li><p>Feelings of total helplessness</p></li><li><p>Fainting</p></li></ul><p><strong>Fawning: Appeasement as Survival</strong></p><p>Fawning involves the tragic sacrifice of personal needs and boundaries to appease a perceived threat and to avoid immediate conflict.  Its success in the survival of traumatizing environments and relationships can lead to the adaptive integration and personal psychological normalization of:</p><ul><li><p>Chronic people-pleasing behaviors</p></li><li><p>Significant difficulty establishing or protecting boundaries</p></li><li><p>Prioritizing others&#8217; wants over personal safety or needs</p></li><li><p>Automatic, subservient compliance to appease others</p></li><li><p>Adopting an invisible or passive persona</p></li><li><p>Using a childlike demeanor to appear non-threatening</p></li></ul><p><strong>Denial</strong></p><p>This culturally normalized subtype of the fawn/freeze response involves the outright refusal to acknowledge, and willfully falsifying the severity of trauma in an attempt to eliminate or minimize its internal and external impact. This can manifest as:</p><ul><li><p>Disregarding the true impact of personal traumatic events.</p></li><li><p>Downplaying personal experiences or pretending the trauma never occurred.</p></li><li><p>Masking agony by pretending everything is &#8220;fine&#8221;</p></li><li><p>Obstructing the provision of space for processing situation-appropriate distress.</p></li><li><p>Denying the existence of traumatic events experienced by others (gaslighting).</p></li><li><p>Shaming other people&#8217;s sensitivity to avoid acknowledging one&#8217;s own</p></li><li><p>Erasing history</p></li><li><p>Shutting down public access to diverse perspectives</p></li><li><p>Delegitimizing the narratives of marginalized people</p></li><li><p>Censorship and book banning</p></li><li><p>Mandatory educational compliance with sanctioned &#8220;truths&#8221;</p></li></ul><p>Our unaddressed subconscious adaptations to past adversity can result in inappropriate reactions to events in our current environment, causing disruptions and distress in our relationships, professional commitments, and social harmony. The goal of recovery is not to correct our personal behavior through willpower alone, but to recognize our reactive behaviors, understand their original purpose, and to develop <strong>Adaptive</strong> <strong>Replacement Strategies</strong> that provide healthier alternative forms of relief.</p><p>Examples:</p><p><strong>Isolation</strong> is a maladaptive strategy developed to cope with the intense need for security and self-protection in the wake of traumatic experiences.  An Adaptive Replacement Strategy might look like: cultivating healthy boundaries, increasing our mindfulness regarding selective vulnerability, and proactively developing a safer community for ourselves.</p><p><strong>Substance Use </strong>is a maladaptive strategy designed to manage the intense need for immediate relief from internal dysregulation.  An Adaptive Replacement Strategy might look like: somatic grounding, breath-work, developing a safe and nourishing social network, attending support programs, utilizing relapses as opportunities to build a situation-specific toolkit.</p><p><strong>Workaholism</strong> is often a maladaptive strategy to manage the need for constant distraction and the need to prove self-worth.  An Adaptive Replacement Strategy might look like: meditation, yoga, and breathwork to cultivate an ability to be still and at peace; and practicing mindfulness by consciously analyzing the belief that productivity determines the value of a human being.</p><p><strong>Emotional Suppression </strong>is often a maladaptive strategy designed to project strength and to maintain composure.  An Adaptive Replacement Strategy might look like: cultivating the ability to recognize, express, and process emotions via IFS, EMDR, CBT or other methodologies; and developing a community in which expressing emotions and the emotional support of peers is normal.</p><p>It is useful to understand that a relapse into outdated maladaptive coping strategies is not a failure of character that warrants shaming or punishment, but is a useful sign that our current distress has exceeded our available toolkit.  In this light, relapses into unhealthy behaviors become valuable opportunities to recognize and address the relevant triggers and to develop better tools, supports, and safeguards.  Healing is this slow, deliberate, non-self-judgmental process of thanking the no-longer-adaptive strategies for their service while gradually, patiently, and lovingly replacing them with sustainable, health-affirming habits and practices.</p><p>Even though we are unlikely to see ourselves as problematic, one of the best ways to contribute to a more harmonious civilization is to subject our own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors to the scrutiny of trauma-informed self-inquiry.  The goal is not to control our symptoms in order to better fit into our social and professional environments, but to restore and further cultivate our internal sense of safety to such an extent that our natural joy, open-heartedness, open-mindedness, unique individuality, curiosity, authenticity, spontaneity, and creativity can be allowed to shine in-the-moment, unencumbered by the defensive exoskeleton of hyper-vigilant self-protection.  By focusing on ourselves in this way, we make it easier for others to do the same.  The best way to help create a sane, regulated, empathetic, and harmonious civilization is to normalize this form of self-inquiry, and to proactively develop communities in which personal authenticity is both safe and celebrated.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195434465&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195434465"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/maladaptive-coping-strategies?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/p/maladaptive-coping-strategies?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Social Burden of Unhealed Trauma]]></title><description><![CDATA[divisiveness, cruelty, greed, dishonesty, and blame]]></description><link>https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/the-social-burden-of-unhealed-trauma</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/the-social-burden-of-unhealed-trauma</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Christopher Holvenstot]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 22 Apr 2026 13:48:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1wW5!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6f9f9ec-c566-48f0-b0f6-a97d6c4784bf_2436x2436.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Unhealed trauma isn&#8217;t just a personal burden; when scaled up to a societal level, it acts as a cultural autoimmune disorder.  When a significant portion of a population operates from a state of chronic nervous system dysregulation, our maladaptive coping strategies (emotional numbing, hyper-vigilance, a focus on the survival of the self) become the primary drivers of our social, political, and economic systems.  That dynamic translates into five specific societal characteristics:</p><h3><strong>Divisiveness</strong></h3><p>In a state of unhealed trauma, the brain&#8217;s neuroception (our subconscious scanning for safety) is skewed toward threat. In a polarized culture, this manifests as tribalism: anyone outside our ideological tribe is perceived as a biological threat.  As a result, we lose the ability to engage in nuance and we retreat into binary thinking (good vs evil, victim vs oppressor) which makes compromise feel like a life-threatening concession.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><h3><strong>Cruelty</strong></h3><p>Empathy is a luxury of the safe brain. In a culture of constant stress, we experience empathy fatigue or systemic numbing.  To cope with the overwhelming influx of suffering (via news and social media) the psyche shuts the blinds. This dissociation makes us indifferent to the pain of others.   Cruelty then becomes a tool for re-establishing a sense of power. If I feel powerless and traumatized, seeing others suffer can provide a fleeting, maladaptive sense of superiority or safety&#8212;the &#8220;at least it&#8217;s not me&#8221; defense.</p><h3><strong>Greed</strong></h3><p>In the trauma-informed lens, greed is frequently a pathological response to a deep sense of scarcity and lack of belonging.  If you grew up in an environment where your needs weren&#8217;t met (emotional or physical) you may develop a Bottomless Pit Syndrome. No amount of money, power, or resources feels like enough to guarantee future safety.   Modern greed is the result of hyper-vigilance manifesting as capitalist systems. It is an attempt to build a financial fortress high enough to keep out the perceived unsafe and untrustworthy world.</p><h3><strong>Dishonesty</strong></h3><p>Dishonesty is often a survival-based masking technique.  If truth-telling was punished in a traumatic past, the psyche learns that authenticity equals danger and performance equals safety.  On a cultural level this results in the rise of image-crafting, fawning, and systemic gas-lighting. We prioritize the appearance of success or virtue over the messy truth because the truth feels too vulnerable to expose in a hostile environment.</p><h3><strong>Blame</strong></h3><p>Blame is the ultimate fight response to shame and accountability.  Unhealed trauma often leaves people with a crushing sense of toxic shame. Because looking inward is too painful, the psyche projects that discomfort outward, usually onto easy (vulnerable) targets.  A culture of blame allows us to avoid the excruciating work of self-reflection. By pointing the finger at a specific group, leader, or neighbor, we temporarily relieve the internal pressure of our own unaddressed wounds.<br><br>Our systems (economic, social, political, and digital) profit from keeping us in a state of high cortisol and low empathy. When we are afraid and divided, we consume more, click more, and look for strongman figures to save us, which further normalizes the abusive dynamics the trauma created in the first place.</p><p>In my opinion, to assure a livable future, trauma remediation should be publicly funded as a fundamental infrastructural necessity, as basic as water, roads, and public safety.  What are your thoughts?</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195032400&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Leave a comment&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/substack.com/@holvenstot/note/p-195032400"><span>Leave a comment</span></a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/p/the-social-burden-of-unhealed-trauma?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/supportgrove.substack.com/p/the-social-burden-of-unhealed-trauma?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://supportgrove.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>