Things I’m prattling on about today

Last month, I read a scary, super important story in the Washington Post and I’m here to freak out over it with you. The headline says it all: “As the cost of aging soars, families’ wealth is evaporating: Growing old is eroding the inheritance Americans hoped to leave behind, a Washington Post analysis found. Many will have nothing to pass on.”

If this is a newsflash for you, and you’re like, “Hmm. What’s going on around here?” then pull up a chair because we need to talk — and do some math together, and get you on the church prayer list, lol. You, I — all of us — must be aware of the challenging realities this piece highlights if we want to age well and avoid pissing off our people and compromising our legacy. “I had no idea” or “Wait, what?” or “I can’t imagine that would happen to me” are just not going to cut it. Truth is, we should all know aging is exhaustingly expensive and is becoming more so as the 65-plus population continues to explode.

But maybe you’ve heard otherwise. Maybe, as the WP story indicates, you’ve heard all about the “Great Wealth Transfer” and that Baby Boomers have had good fortune and economics on their side. Maybe you are a Baby Boomer, or the adult child of some, and you’re living the dream not worried about silly old finances or how you will pay for long term care and other “incidentals” of aging. Well, you are right about some of that:

“Baby boomers — boosted by decades of rising house prices, strong stock markets and economic growth — control more than half of U.S. household wealth. When they die, a lot of that wealth is expected to go to their descendants. Estimates have predicted that $68 trillion to $84 trillion in money and assets will change hands over the next two decades,” the piece reads. $84 trillion sounds like a lot of money, why worry so much? Why all the doom and gloom?

Because we aren’t doing the math, and we’re not looking at the demographics influencing all of it. The doom is that while Baby Boomers, in particular, have stockpiled lots of cold, hard cash and live in nice, big houses and have saved, saved, saved, the number of older adults skyrocketed along with the cost of caregiving, healthcare and housing. By 2035, there will be more older adults than children in our country for the first time ever. The current cost for an in-home caregiver is $35. And 70 percent of us will need some form of long-term care in our lifetime. Another fact? We’re living much, much longer than we used to. The number of centenarians multiplies wildly with each passing year. So yeah, that $68 trillion to $84 trillion may have sounded like plenty — even plenty enough to even share with our loved ones when we die — but that’s barely getting by in this demographic shift we’re experiencing. We are doing some very bad math, I’m afraid, and I know doing bad math. The WP article explains it much more succinctly:

“A Washington Post analysis of the finances of thousands of seniors in the last decade of their lives found that, for many families, the cost of care eats away much of what they had hoped to pass on. And within a growing segment, elder care costs are not just diminishing their savings, but obliterating them.”

The sobering article continues. “Within the time period The Post examined, the costs of aging grew more consuming. The share of people left with nothing after paying for elder care rose from 6 percent among those who died between 2006 and 2010 to nearly 11 percent among those who died between 2017 and 2022. The costs fell hardest on those with the least: Among the poorest fifth of Americans in the analysis, 41 percent were left with nothing after accounting for their care costs in the years before death. Overall, this group spent nearly a third of their wealth on out-of-pocket care costs in the last decade of their lives — more than 20 times the share spent by the wealthiest fifth.”

Please know this, ya’ll! It is so critical to be aware of these facts as we move through our aging journeys together. And I’m not talking about being aware so our precious adult children can inherit big bags of money and live happily ever after, I’m talking about OURSELVES living happily ever after with enough resources to cover the expensive care and housing and plus, plus, plus we know we will need.

The WP article shares what some of those costs are, please read it! It is so eye-opening and important and helpful for smarter planning!

Numbers make me nervous, gotta be real. But we must get comfortable with them if aging successfully is the Grand Plan. My business journalism background taught me numbers can also tell the real story. And in this case, it comes with an eternal front-page headline: Aging is Freaking Expensive. The central planning figure is that an ordinary older household spends approximately $61,432 annually, while significant paid care can add another $26,000 to nearly $139,000 annually. Around-the-clock care at home can cost substantially more.

Need proof, want more sources? Looking for a stronger nut graf? Below is a list of typical U.S. costs an older adult may encounter during their lifetime. Figures are national averages, medians or typical ranges, depending on the best available data and of course, these costs vary by location, health, insurance and level of assistance. The sources for these figures are: CareScout/Genworth Cost of Care Survey, Medicare 2026 costs, Medicare services not covered, Fidelity Retiree Health Care Estimate, Bureau of Labor Statistics consumer-spending data, and National Funeral Directors Association.

Happy calculating! No, seriously. Knowing even loosely about even a fraction of these figures will make better planning possible.

1. Basic household living expenses: $61,432 per year or $5,119 per month for the average household headed by someone 65 or older.

2. Housing, utilities and household operations: $22,193 per year or $1,849 per month.

3. Food: $7,940 per year or $662 per month.

4. Transportation: $9,538 per year or $795 per month.

5. Routine healthcare spending: $7,799 per year or $650 per month.

6. Lifetime retirement healthcare: An estimated $172,500 for one person retiring at age 65. This does not include long-term care.

7. Medicare Part B premium: $202.90 per month in 2026.

8. Medicare Part B deductible: $283 per year.

9. Medicare Part B coinsurance: Usually 20% of the Medicare-approved cost after meeting the deductible.

10. Medicare Part A hospital deductible: $1,736 for each benefit period.

11. Extended hospital stay, days 61–90: $434 per day.

12. Hospital lifetime-reserve days 91–150: $868 per day.

13. Medicare Part D prescription-drug deductible: Up to $615 per year in 2026, depending on the plan.

14. Part D covered-drug out-of-pocket spending threshold: $2,100 in 2026.

15. Medigap insurance: Varies by plan, age and location and must be added to the Part B premium.

16. Medicare Advantage premiums and cost sharing: Vary by plan; the person must generally continue paying the Part B premium.

17. Routine dental care: Often paid out of pocket because Original Medicare generally does not cover cleanings, fillings, extractions, dentures or implants.

18. Hearing aids and fitting exams: Generally paid out of pocket under Original Medicare.

19. Routine eye exams and eyeglasses: Generally paid out of pocket under Original Medicare.

20. Incontinence supplies: Generally paid entirely out of pocket under Original Medicare.

21. Homemaker or companion services: Approximately $33 per hour.

22. Homemaker services at 44 hours per week: $6,292 per month or $75,504 per year.

23. Home health aide or personal-care assistant: Approximately $34 per hour.

24. Home health aide at 44 hours per week: $6,483 per month or $77,792 per year.

25. Part-time home care, four hours a day and five days a week: Approximately $2,947 per month.

26. Full workday home care, eight hours a day and five days a week: Approximately $5,893 per month.

27. Home care for 12 hours every day: Approximately $12,410 per month.

28. Around-the-clock home care: Approximately $24,820 per month, before possible overtime, weekend or holiday charges.

29. Adult day health care: $2,167 per month or $26,000 per year.

30. Assisted living: $5,900 per month or $70,800 per year.

31. Assisted-living care surcharges: Medication management, bathing, dressing, continence assistance and additional supervision may be charged separately.

32. Memory care: Usually costs more than standard assisted living and varies considerably by facility and location.

33. Nursing home, semiprivate room: $305 per day or $111,325 per year.

34. Nursing home, private room: $350 per day or $127,750 per year.

35. Florida homemaker services: $68,640 per year.

36. Florida home health aide: $68,640 per year.

37. Florida adult day care: $31,200 per year.

38. Florida assisted living: $5,324 per month or $63,885 per year.

39. Florida nursing home, semiprivate room: $124,100 per year.

40. Florida nursing home, private room: $138,700 per year.

41. Grab bar: $100–$350 each, professionally installed.

42. Raised toilet seat: $27–$85.

43. Shower chair: $50–$300.

44. Comfort-height toilet: $500–$1,350 installed.

45. Lever-style door handle: $100–$250 per door installed.

46. Nonslip flooring: $5–$14 per square foot.

47. Entrance ramp: Approximately $875–$1,750 for a standard installation.

48. Widening a doorway: Approximately $800 for a basic project, although structural changes can raise the price significantly.

49. Walk-in shower: $1,500–$3,500 or more, with some installation costs potentially additional.

50. Walk-in tub: Approximately $10,000 installed.

51. Straight stair lift: $2,000–$5,000.

52. Curved stair lift: Generally $10,000 or more.

53. Accessible bathroom remodel: Approximately $6,600–$28,000.

54. Residential elevator: Approximately $33,000–$60,000.

55. Broader aging-in-place renovation: Commonly $10,000–$30,000 or more.

56. Home maintenance and repairs: Roofing, plumbing, electrical work, HVAC replacement and storm repairs should be budgeted separately from routine housing expenses.

57. Housekeeping and household assistance: Costs vary by location, home size and frequency.

58. Lawn, pool and exterior maintenance: Costs vary according to property size and service frequency.

59. Property taxes and homeowners insurance: Highly dependent on the home’s value, state, municipality and insurance market.

60. Condominium or homeowners association fees: Vary by community and may increase through assessments.

61. Prepared meals and grocery delivery: Additional to ordinary food expenses.

62. Transportation after driving retirement: May include taxis, rideshare services, paratransit, private drivers and delivery charges.

63. Medical transportation: May require private payment when transportation is not covered by Medicare or another program.

64. Mobility equipment: Walkers, wheelchairs, scooters, lifts and other equipment may involve deductibles, coinsurance or complete private payment.

65. Medical-alert system: Usually involves equipment charges or a recurring monthly monitoring fee.

66. Home security and health-monitoring technology: May include installation, equipment and monthly subscription costs.

67. Medication-dispensing system: May involve purchasing equipment or paying a monthly monitoring fee.

68. Care-management services: A professional geriatric care manager may charge hourly or ongoing fees to coordinate appointments, caregivers and services.

69. Professional bill payment or bookkeeping: May become necessary if managing finances becomes difficult.

70. Estate-planning and elder-law services: Wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives and long-term-care planning vary by attorney and complexity.

71. Guardianship or conservatorship: Court, legal and professional-management fees can become substantial when formal oversight is required.

72. Moving and downsizing: May include movers, packing, storage, estate-sale services, repairs and furnishing a new residence.

73. Continuing care retirement community: May require a large entrance fee plus recurring monthly charges, depending on the contract and level of care.

74. Respite care: Paid replacement care may be needed to give a family caregiver time off.

75. Emergency replacement care: Families may need to hire help suddenly if an unpaid caregiver becomes ill or unavailable.

76. Technology and communication: Internet, cellphone, computer equipment, accessibility devices and technology assistance.

77. Pet care: Veterinary treatment, grooming, boarding and dog walking may increase when an owner has limited mobility or is hospitalized.

78. Entertainment and recreation: $3,025 per year or $252 per month for the average household headed by someone 65 or older.

79. Gifts, charitable contributions and financial support for others: $3,158 per year or $263 per month on average.

80. Personal insurance and pension contributions: $3,480 per year or $290 per month on average.

81. Funeral with viewing and burial: National median of $8,300.

82. Funeral with viewing and cremation: National median of $6,280.

83. Cemetery plot, monument, flowers and obituary: Often additional to the funeral-home total.

News you can use

Fidelity’s 2026 Retiree Health Care Cost Estimate Reaches $185,500
A 65-year-old retiring in 2026 can expect to spend an average of $185,500 on healthcare throughout retirement, according to Fidelity’s latest estimate. That represents a 7.5% increase in one year, driven by higher medical prices, greater use of healthcare services and the growing cost of chronic conditions. The estimate includes Medicare premiums, deductibles, copayments, coinsurance and prescription drugs, but excludes long-term care, most dental services and over-the-counter medications. The report is a timely reminder that Medicare does not eliminate healthcare expenses and that medical costs deserve their own line in every retirement plan.

Long-Term Care Affordability Is Sharply Worsening for Middle-Income Americans
Home care and assisted-living costs climbed nearly 50% between 2019 and 2024, far outpacing growth in older adults’ incomes, according to a new AARP report. In 2024, the median household income for someone 65 or older was approximately $60,000, while the annual cost of home care exceeded $50,000. Households headed by someone 75 or older had median financial assets of roughly $50,000, enough to cover about one year of home care or only a few months in a nursing home. The findings reveal why families frequently exhaust savings, depend heavily on unpaid caregivers or go without needed assistance.

Dementia Will Cost the United States $818 Billion in 2026
A USC-led study calculates the total national cost of dementia at $818 billion this year, including medical treatment, long-term care, unpaid caregiving and lost quality of life. Approximately 5.2 million unpaid caregivers provide 6.8 billion hours of assistance to family members and friends with dementia, labor valued at $237 billion. Medical and long-term-care expenses account for another $222 billion, with individuals and families paying approximately $46 billion out of pocket. The research demonstrates that dementia’s cost extends throughout the family, affecting caregivers’ employment, health, time and financial security as well as the person receiving care.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

Our Papa, my husband’s father Quinn R. Barton Jr., member of the Bolles Class of 1946, Princeton grad, expert reciter of Shakespeare and namer of family vehicles, passed away this Father’s Day, June 21 at the age of 98. As the song goes, “You'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn!” As an homage to this deeply thoughtful gentleman of all gentlemen and a shout out to the increasing number of Super Agers and Centenarians like him out there, I’d like to share a few words about how, from a gerontological standpoint, Papa is indeed a “mighty” fine example of successful aging and articulate a few reasons why, and what we can learn from him.

Like most of us, Papa did not plan for aging with any enthusiasm or precision — or even any acceptance that it was actually something that might happen to him. Aging and death were non-existent in his life perspective. He was forever young! A sharp dressed lad and toast of the town! An intellect, a creative…A catch! His glasses were definitely rosy and his big, unstoppable heart pumped optimism, benevolence…romanticism, even… from his head to his toes, day in and day out, no matter the life occasion. He may not have been aging or “old, like those old people over there,” but he was seeing the very best in everyone and everything — which, ironically, was a strength of being old and aging well.

As I’ve thought about Papa these past few days, I’ve been struck by how many of the qualities that came to him naturally are the very qualities gerontologists now point to as supporting healthier, happier aging. In addition to being relentlessly positive, he was deeply rooted in his Catholic faith, was surrounded by family, committed to his community, happily and daily engaged in routine, generous with his time, an early-to-bed kind of good sleeper and a good study of word games, movies and classic works. No one trait explains a life that stretched nearly a century, but together they offer a wonderful reminder that growing older well is shaped not only by our genes, but also by the way we choose to live. Let’s look at what the research says about each of these strengths—and how they put Papa squarely in the “successful aging” category by scientific standards.

Positivity

So, let’s start with the rose-colored glasses Papa wore. Having a positive disposition, or being optimistic, has become an increasingly interesting area of gerontological research. In a landmark study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers from Boston University, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and the National Institute on Aging found that people with the highest levels of optimism lived 11 to 15 percent longer, on average, than those with the lowest levels of optimism and were significantly more likely to reach age 85 and beyond. Researchers believe optimistic people recover from stress more effectively, nurture stronger relationships and remain engaged with life even during difficult seasons. Pretty cool!

National Institute on Aging (NIH): Optimism linked to longevity and well-being in two recent studies

https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/optimism-linked-longevity-and-well-being-two-recent-studies

Faith

Catholicism and a strong faith in God was a major win for Papa’s aging.

His faith shaped how he treated people, how he approached hardship and how he understood gratitude. It gave rhythm to ordinary days and comfort during the days when his optimism tank needed refueling.

Researchers have long observed that older adults who remain engaged in faith communities often report greater resilience, stronger social support and higher levels of emotional well-being. Part of that benefit comes from belonging to a caring community, and part comes from having a deep sense of meaning and hope, qualities that become increasingly valuable as we age. Faith was Papa’s ace!

NIH / National Library of Medicine: Religion, Spirituality and Health in Older Adults

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3671693

Family

Papa rarely wondered whether he was loved. From his earliest memories he was a beloved son and dedicated brother who lived nearby — even with — his parents and grandmother and for much of his youth and young adult life. After he married, he raised a family in that same neighborhood who later had children they raised in the same neighborhood.

His family literally always surrounded him. Children and grandchildren were all within a 15-minute drive, most of them. His sister and brothers for many years lived nearby, a luxury that afforded him contact with a throng of nieces and nephews and friends. His primary caregiver, his daughter, Margaret, lived across the street for a good chunk of his life. He was never more than 20 minutes from the neighborhood in which he was raised.

That turns out to matter more than researchers once imagined. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies of human life ever conducted, has spent more than eight decades following participants. Its central conclusion was a pretty simple one: close relationships are one of the strongest predictors of health, happiness and longevity.

Harvard Study of Adult Development (Official Site)

https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

Harvard Gazette – Good genes are nice, but joy is better

Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life — Harvard Gazette

Community and Routine

Papa’s world wasn’t especially large. It didn’t need to be.

He lived in the community he loved, worshipped with familiar faces, knew his neighbors and found comfort in the predictable rhythms of daily life. There was beauty and strength in familiar streets, familiar pews and familiar conversations.

Gerontologists describe this as aging in place, and decades of research have shown that remaining connected to familiar environments helps older adults maintain independence, preserve identity and experience greater well-being. Routine itself also reduces unnecessary stress by providing stability and predictability during a stage of life when many other things are changing.

Papa found joy in ordinary days and the sameness of places. Whether it was the decades he spent working at The Bolles School or the years living in the exact same house with the exact same furnishings and exact same placement, Papa’s life taught us routine and community can most definitely promote healthy aging.

AARP Livable Communities

https://www.aarp.org/livable-communities

Purpose and Generosity

Papa remained generous with his time, treasure and talent his entire life. This was a winning move for him!

He gave his time to The Bolles School, where he was a Trustee Emeritus and also a longtime advancement and admissions employee. He encouraged others. He remembered birthdays with perfectly penned cards full of age-corresponding dollar bills, celebrated accomplishments and humbly, always humbly, found ways to make people feel seen.

Researchers at Rush University Medical Center have found that older adults with a strong sense of purpose experience slower cognitive decline and lower risks of disability. Purpose doesn’t have to involve running a company or starting a nonprofit or making a multimillion dollar gift. Often it grows out of just knowing your presence or attention makes someone else’s day a little brighter. Papa’s ability to show up for others made him age stronger, and better as an almost-centenarian.

Purpose in Life May Protect the Brain

https://www.rush.edu/news/having-purpose-life-may-protect-brain

Intergenerational relationships

Speaking of Bolles, Papa worked for decades alongside people spanning nearly every stage of life. On any given day, he might chat with a 5-year-old Kindergartner, a recent college graduate, a fellow employee who had been there since the school’s earliest days or someone in between. He often remarked that being around young people made him feel younger himself.

As it turns out, he was onto something — once again. A growing body of gerontological research has found that meaningful relationships across generations benefit everyone involved. A 2023 systematic review published in Age and Ageing in the UK concluded that intergenerational programs improve older adults’ mental well-being, reduce loneliness and increase social connectedness. Researchers also have found that regular interaction with younger people fosters a stronger sense of purpose, keeps older adults mentally and socially engaged and even helps combat ageism by reminding both generations how much they have to learn from one another.

Intergenerational relationships and aging

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10546258/

Good Sleep

Papa was wonderfully old-fashioned about sleep. He had supper early and was in bed by 7 p.m. most nights. He woke up before the sun came up and was heading to work by 7:30 a.m. if not earlier most days. Good sleep was a priority and he believed strongly — systematically — in going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting up ready for another day.

Modern sleep science has caught up with that wisdom. Researchers now understand that sleep plays an essential role in memory, immune function, cardiovascular health and the brain’s nightly housekeeping processes. Consistently good sleep has become one of the most important lifestyle habits associated with healthy aging.

Papa did not know it as good sleep hygiene, to him it was more like common sense — and that good ole routine that kept him chugging so unfailingly through his 70s, 80s and 90s.

National Institute on Aging: A Good Night’s Sleep

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sleep

Good eats, no drinks, some exercise

Following major heart surgery decades ago, Papa cut alcohol out of his routine cold turkey and never looked back. He also was very careful about what he ate. At Bolles, where we worked together on the advancement team, he would fill a small plate with iceburg lettuce, maybe a tomato and some chicken or turkey slices. Dinner always included a pickled peach. He ate slowly, was an champion-level plate-cleaner and enjoyed Reeces Peanut Butter Cups and Peppermint Patties, and Whitman’s Sampler boxes were usually his Father’s Day, Christmas and Birthday gifts, something he was always grateful to receive.

Papa’s appreciation for low fat, high protein, fresh and often pickled foods was another notch for him in the aging W column. This approach aligns remarkably well with today’s gerontological research. Studies consistently show that older adults who follow a Mediterranean-style eating pattern—rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, nuts, fish and healthy fats like olive oil—are more likely to live longer and experience lower rates of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cognitive decline and frailty. Large studies have also found that this way of eating is associated with a greater likelihood of what researchers call healthy aging: reaching older age with both body and mind functioning well. And yes, chocolate can be good for you, too.

Researchers have also become more cautious about alcohol than they once were. While earlier studies suggested that small amounts of wine might be beneficial, more recent evidence indicates that drinking less, or not at all as Papa did, is associated with better long-term health, particularly when it comes to cancer risk, brain health and overall longevity.

Lastly, Papa wasn’t an all-in, be-a-witness-to-my-fitness kind of exerciser, but he did get his walks in when he was still mobile. While working at Bolles, part of his daily routine was to take a short stroll from his office in the north tower to the flagpole at Commencement Point, where he would look out over the water and ponder life for a few minutes before walking slowly back to Bolles Hall. Every. Single. Day he did this. Over time, that kind of exercise adds up and guess what — it’s good for your health and longevity. Yessiree.

Science backs this up. The National Institute on Aging recommends that older adults aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate physical activity each week—about 30 minutes of brisk walking five days a week—because regular movement helps preserve strength, balance, mobility, heart health and cognitive function. Even smaller amounts make a difference. A 28-year study of older adults found that just 15 minutes of daily physical activity was associated with a lower risk of death compared with being inactive. And a 2023 review of the scientific literature concluded that walking lowers the risk of heart disease, stroke, Type 2 diabetes, cognitive decline and dementia while improving mood, sleep and longevity.

National Institute on Aging: Healthy Eating As You Age

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/healthy-eating

World Health Organization: Alcohol

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol

National Institute on Aging: Exercise

Exercise and physical activity | National Institute on Aging

Curiosity

Papa’s long-term memory amazed everyone.

He recited Shakespeare from memory, recalled family stories from decades earlier and delighted in word games (Jumbles, always), classic movies (on DVD, always) and great books (the Classics, always).

Neuroscientists describe the benefit of lifelong mental engagement as cognitive reserve—the brain’s ability to adapt and compensate as it ages. Reading, conversation, puzzles, learning and intellectual curiosity all appear to strengthen that reserve over time, helping many people remain mentally sharp well into later life. Papa treated learning the way some people treat exercise, which he did not do much of throughout his life. Learning and Jumbles were his brain exercise and his daily routine doing them (during the morning, always) were a boon for aging greatness.

Humor

Joke’s on you. Papa also had a wonderfully gentle sense of humor.

Whether naming family cars– Brigadoon, Eucalyptus Windamere, The Phantom — or finding amusement and poetry in everyday life, he understood that laughter, as they say, is medicine .

Once again, Papa was spot on here. Researchers have found that humor lowers stress, strengthens social bonds and improves emotional well-being. It reminds us that aging doesn’t diminish our capacity for delight. If anything, it gives us more reasons to appreciate it.

Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456

Gerontology has taught us a remarkable amount about growing older over the past half-century. Researchers continue to discover how optimism, relationships, purpose, faith, sleep, intellectual engagement and community each contribute to healthier aging. None offers a guarantee. Together, though, they create the kind of life that helps people remain resilient, connected and fully alive for as long a time as Mother Nature gives us.

Looking back on Papa’s 98 years, I’m struck by how naturally he embodied so much of what the science now affirms. He never set out to become a model of successful aging, duh, because he wasn’t OLD, remember? He simply loved people, trusted God, stayed curious, slept well, laughed often and remained deeply rooted in the people and places that mattered most.

That’s a legacy worth carrying forward. The science shows it. Thank you, Papa, for being an example of this for all of us! Cheers to 98 years of successful aging and living! A celebration of Quinn’s extraordinary life will be held at St. Matthew’s Catholic Church in Jacksonville FL on Friday, August 7, at 10:30 a.m., with a reception to follow at the Schiavone Parish Hall.

News you can use

How Super-Agers Keep Their Brains Young: What separates an 85-year-old with the memory of someone in their 50s from the rest of us? In this fascinating interview with researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, William Mair, Alexandra Touroutoglou and Suzanne Salamon discuss what science is learning about “super-agers.” In this Harvard Gazette piece, they explain how brain structure, resilience and lifestyle all contribute to exceptional cognitive aging and emphasize that aging is more malleable than previously believed.

Super-Agers and Centenarians: The Search for Protective Factors: Why do some people reach their 90s and 100s with remarkably sharp minds? This article explores groundbreaking research from the Northwestern University SuperAging Study and the New England Centenarian Study. Researchers describe common characteristics of super-agers, including strong social relationships, regular physical activity, quality sleep, intellectual engagement and cardiovascular health, while also explaining why resilience may be just as important as avoiding disease.

Optimism Linked to Longevity and Well-Being: Can looking on the bright side actually help you live longer? According to research highlighted by the National Institute on Aging, the answer appears to be yes. The article summarizes landmark studies showing that people with higher levels of optimism lived 11–15% longer and had greater odds of reaching age 85 and beyond. Researchers believe optimism helps people cope with stress, maintain healthier habits and build stronger social connections—all important ingredients for healthy aging.

Four Habits of Super Agers: Researchers at Northwestern Medicine summarize four lifestyle habits commonly observed in people who maintain youthful cognitive abilities into their 80s: staying physically active, continually challenging the brain, maintaining strong social relationships and remaining engaged in life. The article also explains how MRI scans show that super-agers lose brain volume at about half the rate of their peers, offering clues to preserving memory and reducing dementia risk.

What Super Agers Know That You Don’t: This engaging feature introduces readers to several remarkable super-agers while explaining what researchers from the SuperAging Research Initiative and the New England Centenarian Study have discovered about exceptional longevity. The article highlights common themes including lifelong learning, strong community involvement, purpose, resilience, social engagement and maintaining independence—qualities that consistently emerge in gerontological research on successful aging.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I’ve been walking through this idea of Grand Planning across the decades, and by the time we reach our 80s, the conversation changes again—gently, but importantly.

This is no longer about optimizing or even simplifying. It’s about continuity, comfort, and clarity. It’s about making sure life works as smoothly as possible, that support is aligned with what’s actually needed, and that the people around us are not left guessing or scrambling.

We are still living longer than any generation before us. Many people will spend a decade—or more—in this stage of life. And while that can be a beautiful chapter, it also requires a different kind of grand planning. Less about control. More about alignment, dignity and ease.

So I’ve taken the same approach as the earlier decades—pulling together best practices from across the aging ecosystem and layering them into a practical, real-world snapshot of what strong planning looks like in your 80s and beyond.

This is 80-something. The goal is not perfection. The goal is peace of mind—for you and for everyone who loves you.

Grand Planning in Your 80s+

What to Do Now (and How to Know You’re Doing It Well)

Your 80s are about making life work smoothly, even when you are no longer driving every decision.

The goal is simple:
Reduce burden. Preserve dignity. Keep everything aligned with your values.

1. Care Needs: Make Sure Support Matches Reality

What to do:

• Evaluate actual daily needs:

  • Bathing, dressing, mobility

  • Medication management

  • Supervision and safety

Best practice:

• Support level matches real needs—not wishful thinking

Reality check:

• If needs are going unmet week after week, the plan is underpowered

This is about fit, not independence at all costs.

2. Living Situation: Is This Still the Right Setting?

What to do:

• Confirm your environment supports:

  • Safety

  • Access to care

  • Social connection

  • Ease of daily living

Best practice:

• Your living situation reduces stress rather than creates it

If the home or setting requires constant workarounds, it’s time to reassess.

3. Financial & Benefits Continuity: Keep the System Running

What to do:

• Ensure:

  • Social Security and income streams are stable

  • Medicare and supplemental coverage are understood

  • Bills and premiums are consistently paid

Best practice:

• A trusted person can step in immediately if needed

This stage is about continuity, not complexity.

4. Organization: Make Everything Easy for Others to Use

What to do:

• Maintain a clear, simple system with:

  • Legal documents

  • Accounts and bills

  • Medical information

  • Contacts

Reality test:

• Could someone unfamiliar manage the next 72 hours of your life?

If not, simplify further.

5. Health & Comfort: Align Care With What Matters Most

What to do:

• Focus on:

  • Comfort

  • Quality of life

  • Symptom management

  • Personal preferences

Best practice:

• Care decisions reflect current values—not outdated assumptions

This is where palliative care and hospice understanding becomes essential.

6. Decision-Making: Confirm the Right People Are in Place

What to do:

• Reconfirm:

  • Healthcare decision-maker

  • Financial power of attorney

  • Family roles

Best practice:

• The right people are not just named—but actively involved

Planning only works if people are ready and able to act.

7. Communication: Remove Guesswork Completely

What to do:

• Ensure clarity around:

  • Care preferences

  • End-of-life wishes

  • Who to call and when

Best practice:

• No one is left guessing in a crisis

Clarity reduces stress more than any document ever could.

8. Legacy & Continuity: Make Things Easier for Those You Love

What to do:

• Finalize:

  • Funeral plans

  • Obituary notes

  • Key relationships and contacts

  • Personal wishes

Best practice:

• Everything is clear enough that others can carry it forward without confusion

This is one of the greatest acts of care you can offer your family.

The Bottom Line for Your 80s+

This stage is about alignment and ease.

You should move through this decade with:

• ✔ The right level of support in place

• ✔ A living situation that truly works

• ✔ Simple, stable financial systems

• ✔ Clear decision-makers

• ✔ Open, ongoing communication

• ✔ Care aligned with your values

• ✔ A system others can step into

• ✔ Minimal burden placed on loved ones

If your 70s were about simplifying, your 80s are about ensuring everything flows—without strain, confusion, or guesswork.

News you can use

Many Americans are living into their 80s and 90s—here’s what that means for care and planning

Americans age 65 and older now make up a rapidly growing share of the population, with the 85+ group expanding especially quickly. This shift underscores the importance of planning not just for retirement, but for extended years of support, healthcare, and daily living needs.

Why more families are struggling to manage care for adults over 80

As more people live into advanced age, families are facing increased pressure managing complex care needs. This article highlights how lack of planning, unclear roles, and fragmented systems create stress—reinforcing the importance of early organization and communication.

Falls remain one of the biggest health risks for older adults

More than one in four adults over 65 falls each year, making fall prevention one of the most critical factors in maintaining independence and quality of life. The article emphasizes the importance of home safety, strength, and balance—especially in later decades.

The growing role of hospice and palliative care in improving quality of life

This resource explains how palliative and hospice care focus on comfort, dignity, and quality of life—helping individuals and families navigate serious illness with greater clarity and support.

Older adults are increasingly planning ahead to ease the burden on family

Many older adults are taking proactive steps—organizing documents, clarifying wishes, and preparing financially—to reduce the emotional and logistical burden on their families. This reflects a growing cultural shift toward intentional aging and shared responsibility.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I’ve been working through this idea of breaking Grand Planning into age-based stages, and the more I do it, the more I see how each decade asks something different of us. So now we arrive in the 70s and ask: what does good planning look like here? What actually matters most at this stage?

Because this is where the conversation shifts again — in a very satisfying and hugely clarifying way. In our 70s, the question is no longer just “What should I plan for?” It becomes, “How do I make life easier, more supported, and more sustainable before it becomes hard?”

We are still living longer than any generation before us. We are still part of a massive demographic shift. And we are still facing the reality that many of us will need help at some point. But in this decade, the goal isn’t to do more. It’s to simplify. To reduce friction. To put the right supports in place early so that independence is preserved, not strained.

So once again, I’ve pulled together guidance from across the professional aging ecosystem—financial, legal, medical, housing, organizational—and layered it with my Grand Planning lens to create a practical, real-world picture of what strong planning looks like in your 70s.

This is not about losing control. It’s about redefining it.

This is 70-something. And we can do this, too. Here ‘tis…

Grand Planning in Your 70s

What to Do Now (and How to Know You’re Doing It Well)

Your 70s are about simplifying life before life simplifies it for you.

This is the decade where:

• Small inefficiencies become big problems

• Support becomes more normal (and more necessary)

• Housing, mobility, and daily tasks require honest evaluation

• Family roles begin to shift

The goal is not to hold onto independence at all costs.
The goal is to preserve independence by building support early and intentionally.

1. Daily Function: Pay Attention to the Early Signals

What to do:

• Watch for changes in everyday tasks:

  • Managing money

  • Keeping up with medications

  • Driving safely

  • Preparing meals

  • Keeping appointments

Best practice trigger:

• If 2 or more issues show up repeatedly within 90 days, it’s time to bring in support

This is not failure—it’s data. And acting early preserves options.

2. Housing: Match Your Environment to Your Reality

What to do:

• Compare your current needs to your current home:

  • Mobility and safety

  • Access to help

  • Isolation vs connection

  • Maintenance demands

Run the comparison:

• Home care cost (hours needed × rate × 30)
  vs

• Assisted living monthly cost

Best practice:

• If in-home support is approaching or exceeding senior living costs,
  → it’s time for a real conversation, not a delayed one

This is about fit, not attachment.

3. Support System: Don’t Wait Until You’re Overwhelmed

What to do:

• Identify support roles before you need them:

  • Daily money manager (finances, bills)

  • Care manager (health coordination)

  • Move manager (downsizing, transitions)

  • Family helpers

Best practice:

• You have named support for your likely needs

If something happened tomorrow, the question is simple:
Who steps in—and how quickly?

4. Financial Simplification: Make It Easy to Manage

What to do:

• Reduce complexity:

  • Consolidate accounts where possible

  • Automate bills safely

  • Simplify investments

  • Clarify who can help

Best practice:

• Fewer accounts, fewer systems, fewer points of confusion

Why this matters:

• Complexity increases risk—especially for missed payments, fraud, or errors

Simplification is not giving up control.
It’s protecting it.

5. Transportation: Plan for the Transition Before It’s Urgent

What to do:

• Honestly assess driving ability

• Identify alternatives:

  • Rides from family or friends

  • Community transportation

  • Ride services

Best practice:

• You have at least two realistic non-driving options

Driving retirement is not a surprise event—it’s a predictable transition.

6. Communication: Clarify Roles Before They’re Assumed

What to do:

• Have explicit conversations about:

  • Who handles finances

  • Who coordinates care

  • Who communicates with the wider family

Best practice:

• One clearly identified coordinator

Without clarity, one person often becomes overwhelmed by default.
With clarity, responsibility is shared and sustainable.

7. Health & Care Planning: Understand What Comes Next

What to do:

• Learn the difference between:

  • In-home support

  • Assisted living

  • Skilled nursing

  • Palliative care

  • Hospice

Best practice:

• You and your family understand the pathways of care before you need them

This reduces fear, confusion, and rushed decisions later.

8. Serious Illness & End-of-Life Planning: Be Clear About What Matters

What to do:

• Revisit:

  • Care preferences

  • Comfort vs intervention priorities

  • Healthcare decision-makers

Best practice:

• Conversations have happened—and been updated

Planning here is not about giving up.
It’s about ensuring your values guide your care.

9. Organization: Make Your System Work for Others

What to do:

• Ensure your planner/binder includes:

  • Legal documents

  • Accounts and bills

  • Insurance

  • Contacts

  • Instructions

Reality test:

• Could someone unfamiliar step in and manage your life within 30 days?

If not, the system is still too dependent on you.

10. Continuity & Legacy: Reduce the Burden on Your Family

What to do:

• Finalize:

  • Funeral preferences

  • Obituary notes

  • Key contacts

  • Personal wishes

Best practice:

• Your family does not have to guess, search, or scramble

Clarity here turns a difficult time into a more peaceful and supported experience.

The Bottom Line for Your 70s

Your 70s are about making life easier—for you and for the people who love you.

You should move through this decade with:

• ✔ Early support systems in place

• ✔ A living situation that truly fits your needs

• ✔ Simplified finances and systems

• ✔ Clear transportation alternatives

• ✔ Defined roles among family and helpers

• ✔ Ongoing conversations about care and preferences

• ✔ A system others can step into

• ✔ A plan that reduces burden, not adds to it

News you can use

The retirement age is changing—and many people are working well into their 70s and beyond

The traditional retirement model is shifting as more adults continue working into their 70s and even 80s, either by choice or necessity. This article highlights how longer lifespans, financial pressures, and a desire for purpose are reshaping what retirement looks like—and why planning for income, meaning, and flexibility later in life is becoming essential.

Home caregiving costs are rising—and many families still don’t understand the true price

With home care now averaging around $34 per hour nationwide, this article underscores how quickly costs can add up in your 70s. It also reveals a critical gap: most families don’t fully understand these expenses until they are already in a caregiving situation, reinforcing the need to calculate care costs early and realistically.

Unexpected costs—especially long-term care—can derail even strong retirement plans

This piece explains how “spending shocks,” particularly long-term care needs later in life, can significantly impact retirement stability. It emphasizes that planning for these high-cost scenarios—rather than just average expenses—is key to maintaining financial security in your 70s and beyond.

Why longevity is the retirement risk no one plans for well enough

As more people live into their 90s and beyond, this article explores the challenge of making retirement assets last 30+ years. It encourages planning beyond traditional life expectancy and separating essential income from market-dependent income—key strategies for sustaining independence in later decades.

Older adults are planning ahead now to avoid burdening their families later

After experiencing the challenges of caring for aging parents, many older adults are proactively organizing their lives—decluttering, documenting wishes, and planning for care. This article reflects a growing shift toward intentional aging, with a focus on reducing stress and uncertainty for loved ones.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I am continuing my little experiment of breaking Grand Planning into age-based chunks because while there is a lot to think about, somehow this whole process becomes far more manageable when we take it one decade at a time. So now I find myself asking: what should we be working toward in our 60s? What shifts from “I should probably know this” to “I really need to have this figured out”?

The 60s is the decade when the abstract becomes real. Retirement is no longer theoretical. Medicare enters the picture for some of us at age 65. Income streams start to matter in a very practical way. And the long-term care conversation moves from “someday” to “what would happen if something changed next year?”

We are still living inside that same unprecedented demographic reality — more older adults than children (and ever before!), living longer than ever before, with a very high likelihood of needing some form of support or care along the way. But in our 60s, the question is no longer just awareness. It’s activation. It’s about making sure the plans we’ve been thinking about can actually hold up under real-life pressure. (Fingers crossed!)

So I’ve taken the same approach as before — pulling together best practices from financial planners, elder law professionals, healthcare providers, senior living experts, and others across the aging ecosystem — and blending that with my Grand Planning framework to create a clear, practical snapshot of what “on track” looks like in this decade.

This is 60-something, friends. Less guessing, more knowing. Less someday, more now.

Grand Planning in Your 60s

What to Do Now (and How to Know You’re Doing It Well)

Your 60s are where planning becomes real life.

This is no longer about preparing “for someday.”
It’s about making sure that if something changed next month, your life would still function with clarity, dignity, and control.

This is the decade where:

• Medicare begins

• Retirement income becomes real

• Long-term care risk becomes probable

• Housing and health decisions become visible

The goal is simple: turn your plan into something that works under pressure.

1. Income & Benefits: Know What You Can Count On

What to do:

• Understand exactly what income is guaranteed:

  • Social Security

  • Pension (if applicable)

  • Annuities or other steady income

• Know your Medicare coverage and gaps

Run the math:

• Guaranteed income ÷ monthly expenses = coverage ratio

Best practice:

• Ratio ≥ 1 → essentials are covered

• Ratio < 1 → you are relying on investments or work to fill the gap

This isn’t a problem—but it must be intentional and understood, not accidental.

2. Long-Term Care: Move From Awareness to Strategy

What to do:

• Replace estimates with real numbers

• Calculate your care gap and runway

Run the math:

• Monthly care gap = care cost – guaranteed income

• Care runway = assets ÷ monthly gap

How to interpret:

• < 12 months → very limited flexibility

• 12–24 months → some decision space

• 24+ months → meaningful options

Reality:
Medicare does not cover long-term custodial care—this must be planned for separately.

3. Housing: Does Your Home Still Work?

What to do:

• Reassess your living situation based on current reality, not past preference:

  • Mobility

  • Safety

  • Access to care and services

  • Transportation

Best practice:

• Complete safety upgrades:

  • Grab bars

  • Lighting improvements

  • Fall hazard reduction

Ask the real question:

• If your health changed next year, would this home still support you?

If the answer is unclear, it’s time to explore alternatives—not in crisis, but on your terms.

4. Health & Function: Protect Independence Daily

What to do:

• Focus on habits that directly impact independence:

  • Strength training

  • Balance work

  • Regular movement

  • Vision and medication reviews

Why this matters:

• Falls are one of the biggest threats to independence in this decade

• One fall significantly increases the risk of another

Best practice score:

• Movement, strength, and balance are all part of your weekly routine

This is no longer about “fitness.”
It’s about staying in control of your life.

5. Organization: Your System Must Work Without You

What to do:

• Fully operationalize your Grand Planner / death binder:

  • Medicare and insurance details

  • Medication list

  • Providers and contacts

  • Bills and accounts

  • Legal documents

  • Digital access

Reality test:

• Can someone step in and run your life within 30 minutes?

If not, your system is still owner-dependent instead of crisis-ready.

6. Communication: Keep the Conversation Current

What to do:

• Revisit conversations regularly:

  • Medical wishes

  • Financial access

  • Housing preferences

  • Driving and transportation

  • End-of-life wishes

Best practice:

• A full conversation within the last 12 months

Why? Because plans change. Diagnoses change. Families change.

Planning is not a one-time event—it’s a living conversation.

7. Support Systems: Know Who and What Is Available

What to do:

• Identify local and professional support:

  • Area Agency on Aging

  • Transportation options

  • Home care providers

  • Benefits programs

  • Backup helpers

Best practice:

• You have at least:

  • One local resource contact

  • One backup care option

  • One transportation alternative

Planning is no longer just personal—it’s network-based.

8. Fraud & Safety: Protect What You’ve Built

What to do:

• Understand common scam patterns:

  • Urgent financial requests

  • “Protect your account” messages

  • Gift cards or wire transfers

Best practice:

• You have a clear rule:
  → No financial action without verification

Digital safety is now part of aging preparedness, not a separate issue.

9. Legacy & Continuity: Remove Guesswork for Others

What to do:

• Finalize:

  • Funeral preferences

  • Obituary notes

  • Key contacts

  • Payment/insurance details

Best practice:

• Someone else could carry out your wishes without guessing

This is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give your family.

The Bottom Line for Your 60s

Your 60s are about activation.

You should move through this decade with:

• ✔ Clear, reliable income understanding

• ✔ A defined long-term care strategy

• ✔ A realistic housing plan

• ✔ Daily habits that protect independence

• ✔ A fully functional life system others can use

• ✔ Ongoing, shared conversations with your people

• ✔ A visible support network

• ✔ Clear legacy and continuity plans

If your 50s were about getting serious, your 60s are about making sure everything actually works.

And don’t forget, today is the best day to share the TEDx talk on aging preparation with your people…let’s get the real talk flowing!

News you can use

Retirement doesn’t look like it used to—and that changes how we plan

The traditional idea of retiring at 65 is shifting as people live longer, stay active later, and often continue working or pursuing new purpose in retirement. This article highlights how longer lifespans (often stretching into the mid-80s and beyond) are forcing a rethink of financial planning, lifestyle expectations, and what a “successful” retirement actually looks like.

How unexpected expenses can derail even solid retirement plans

This piece explores “spending shocks”—particularly early retirement and long-term care costs—that can significantly disrupt retirement plans. It underscores the importance of planning not just for average expenses, but for high-cost, high-impact events that often arise in your 60s and 70s.

Americans now think they need $1.46 million to retire—and many aren’t close

A growing number of Americans fear outliving their savings as the estimated cost of retirement continues to climb. The article highlights the gap between what people think they need and what they’ve actually saved, reinforcing the need for clearer financial benchmarks and earlier course correction.

Should you retire at 60? Why relying on future inheritance can backfire

This real-life scenario examines a couple considering early retirement based on a future inheritance—and why experts strongly advise against it. The key takeaway: retirement decisions should be based on current, controllable assets, not uncertain future outcomes, especially when long-term care costs and timing are unpredictable.

Many older adults are planning ahead to avoid burdening their children

More older adults are proactively organizing finances, decluttering, and documenting their wishes after experiencing the challenges of caring for their own parents. This article reflects a growing cultural shift toward intentional aging—planning not just for oneself, but to reduce stress and uncertainty for loved ones.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I’ve decided to toss expectations — particularly those I impose on people — out the window on my aging journey. They are such party poopers! Expectations can turn perfectly well-meaning folks into frustrating examples of what isn’t (or what could be but won’t be) — right. And that ain’t right! Right? IMHO no, it is not. But here’s the deal: we must design healthy expectations for ourselves, at least more adaptable versions of them, if we are to be resilient and age successfully.

So maybe expectation formula looks like this: expectations for others as we age = bad; fluid expectations for ourselves and how we do our resilient aging thing, good.

I’m sure you can recall times when high hopes for a relationship or experience soured into bitter disappointment. It sucks! I know this has played out for me time after time after stinking, stupid time — unmet expectations for the kind of parents I’d have in my early adulthood, the friend I figured someone might be to me in a certain season and the mother figures I craved deeply after Mom’s death. This is unhealthy and dumb to have expectations for others’ behaviors. People are who they are and do what they do, and nine times out of 10 it’s not your flowery version!

Here’s what unhealthy expectations of others look like through the aging lens:

• “My children will take care of me no matter what.”
  Assuming availability, willingness, or capacity without explicit conversation can lead to strain and disappointment.

• “My spouse will always be able to meet all my needs.”
  Health changes, cognitive decline, or death can shift roles dramatically.

• “My friends will stay the same and always be there.”
  Mobility, illness, relocation, and loss naturally change social circles over time.

• “Professionals will handle everything for me.”
  Doctors, advisors, and care providers play key roles—but they cannot replace personal agency or advocacy.

• “People will just know what I want.”
  Expecting others to intuit wishes about care, finances, or end-of-life decisions often leads to confusion or conflict.

• “My family will agree on what’s best for me.”
  Even loving families can have very different opinions, especially without clear guidance.

• “Others should prioritize me as I age.”
  While support is important, expecting others to consistently set aside their own lives can create resentment.

• “Someone will step in when the time comes.”
  Without preparation, roles like power of attorney or caregiving don’t magically fall into place.

So let’s say it together: Expectations of others=bad. It breeds disappointment. And in aging, expectations of others leads to much more than just dumb old disappointment, it leads to crisis — every. Single. Time.

Before we get into the moral of this story — which is that healthy expectations of ourselves= good/resilient — let’s unpack the key word “resilience.” This is a very big word in Gerontology. It is one of the most helpful ways to think about aging well.

At its core, resilience is the ability to adapt, recover and keep going when life doesn’t go according to plan (which it usually doesn’t, BTW) — something that becomes increasingly important as bodies change, roles shift and losses occur. Researchers in Gerontology have long explored why some people navigate these challenges better than others. Early work by John W. Rowe and Robert L. Kahn emphasize staying engaged and maintaining function, while research by another Gerontology great George A. Bonanno shows many people are more emotionally resilient than we assume, even after significant stress or loss. The truth is resilience isn’t fixed –it’s a quality that be built through strong relationships, a sense of purpose, flexible thinking and thoughtful planning. Yes, Grand Planning!

When we view aging with a focus on resilience, we shift from trying to control every outcome to being prepared to handle whatever comes with clarity, confidence and support. We can have healthy expectations of ourselves to rise to any occasion, even when it’s not what we thought would be our reality.

This is so important, ya’ll! Yes, expectations are a terrible thing to put on other people, but expectations to live with resilience are a key to aging successfully!

So, here’s what shifting our expectations from others to ourselves looks like IRL:

Here are eight healthy, grounding expectations we can hold for ourselves—ones that actively build resilience as we age:

• “I will need to adapt.” Change is not a failure; it’s part of the process. Flexibility is a strength.

• “I am responsible for preparing as best I can.” Legal, financial, and logistical planning are acts of care—for yourself and others.

• “I will communicate my wishes clearly and often.” Clarity reduces stress, confusion, and conflict down the line.

• “I will invest in relationships now.” Strong social connections don’t happen by accident; they are built over time.

• “I will take care of my body and mind, knowing perfection isn’t the goal.” Consistency matters more than intensity when it comes to long-term well-being.

• “I will ask for help when I need it.” Resilience isn’t independence at all costs—it’s knowing when to reach out.

• “I will stay engaged with life in ways that feel meaningful to me.” Purpose and curiosity are powerful protective factors as we age.

• “I will practice letting go of what I cannot control.” Not everything can be planned. Resilience grows when we focus on what we can influence and release the rest.

  Together, these expectations shift the focus from dependence on others to a steady, proactive approach that builds confidence, reduces fear and creates a more resilient path forward.

• And in case you forgot, today is a GREAT day to share a link to the TEDx talk on Aging as a Design Challenge with someone you know, love and respect! Let’s get the real talk going, it’s too important to hush!

News you can use

Older Adults Are Getting Stronger and Sharper—Not Weaker
A long-term study of more than 11,000 older adults found that nearly half improved in physical or cognitive function over time. One of the biggest drivers? A positive mindset about aging—reinforcing that resilience isn’t just a personality trait, it’s a powerful predictor of outcomes.

Many Older Adults Bounce Back After Setbacks
New research shows that one in four adults over 60 who were struggling were able to return to high levels of well-being within a few years. Social connection, healthy habits, and emotional adaptability all played a role—clear evidence that resilience can be rebuilt.

It’s Never Too Late to Regain Health and Well-Being
A growing body of research is challenging the idea that aging is a one-way decline. Even after periods of illness or isolation, many older adults were able to regain strong overall health—highlighting the importance of staying engaged and adaptable.

Staying Curious May Protect Mental Health as We Age
Older adults who continue learning new things report lower levels of loneliness and depression. Curiosity, it turns out, isn’t just enriching—it’s a key resilience skill that supports emotional well-being over time.

New Research Tracks “Brain Resilience” in Real Time
Scientists are studying how some older adults maintain strong cognitive function despite stress or disease. Early findings suggest that resilience in the brain—like resilience in life—can be influenced by lifestyle, mindset, and engagement.

Join us at the next CORE Curriculum Mindful Aging class at the St. John’s Cathedral Center for Wellbeing! Message me for sign up details:

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

What do you want to be when you grow up? It’s a question we often get asked or ask ourselves when we’re young, when we’re trying to discern our future life, career and calling. Then we stop asking. We just lean into the lives we build and stop reimagining who we’ll be when we “grow up” and get older and better. Why do we do this when there’s still so much more to be? Why do we do this when there is the very important work of self-legacy-building to accomplish?

It is my humble opinion that we should start asking ourselves better questions about the kind of older adults we want to be, and all the roles associated. And we need to do that now if we want to design a legacy that feels authentic and meaningful and appropriate to our special brand of self. What kind of parent of adult children do I want to be? How do I want to make them feel? What can I do right now to be that kind of parent, to make good on my vision of mother-of-adult-children greatness? What kind of weird aunt, cousin, friend, godmother and mentor do I want to be? And one day, with all fingers crossed, what kind of grandmother or great grandmother do I want to be to the next generation of family members?

These are deep, but important questions.

But I don’t think we become who we want to be when we grow up without asking them.

When I think about what kind of mom I want to be in this season of life, I have a few non-negotiables: I want to be unconditionally loving and demonstrate it physically and emotionally; I want to be available and present and be a go-to person for listening and collaboration and guidance; and I want to make them feel confident, well equipped and utterly supported to handle anything difficult or seize any opportunity that comes their way. I want them to feel prioritized but not coddled. Basically, it is my goal to make them feel loved no matter what.

As a friend, I have many of the same visions for myself. Same goes for many of my other roles. The grandmother hat, though. Whew. That one will have some even greater measures. I obsessively imagine what kind of Meemaw I will be. And hopefully thinking about it intentionally at least inspires some good behaviors down the road. I relish the thought.

Then I wonder, how do our own experiences as a mom, grandmother, friend flavor the vision? Are we hardwired to be like our own parents and family members as we design our own legacies? The answer is likely yes, but to what extent…who knows?

My grandmother, Grandmother, and great-grandmother, Mama Pennye, are pictured above with my cousins, brother and me at La Bahia State Park in Goliad TX many moons ago. I hope to model some of their best qualities in my grandma legacy-building, but not all of them. I aim to be just as loving and prayerful and patient as Grandmother, but more confident and less concerned about the size of my feet than she was. (She wore a Woman’s size 10 shoe and hated herself for it) Mama Pennye? Well, I wouldn’t mind being just like her — always laughing despite her deafness and always long on cans of cheeseballs and orange Fanta. But maybe I’ll aim to be a little bit better about making community a priority as I age. Pennye lived solo in Karnes City TX for most of her life and I would guess she wrestled with loneliness in her 102 years.

Maybe this legacy-building exercise is all about reflection — thinking strategically and lovingly about our DNA and the possibilities of our own designed experience. It starts with questions like these and a promise to embrace new habits and behaviors that develop the legacy we envision:

1. When people I love tell stories about me one day, what do I hope they say?

2. How do I want others to feel in my presence—and after they leave it?

3. What values do I most want to model consistently, not just talk about?

4. Am I showing up in a way today that aligns with the person I say I want to be?

5. What lessons do I hope the next generation carries forward because of me?

6. Where am I holding back—emotionally, relationally, or generously—that I might regret later?

7. What does “being present” actually look like in my closest relationships right now?

8. How do I want to handle conflict, forgiveness, and repair in my relationships?

9. If my time or capacity changed suddenly, what would matter most—and am I prioritizing that now?

10. What intentional actions can I take this year to live my legacy, not just leave it?

Who do I want to be when I grow up? What kind of older adult do I want to become? These are critical questions! And it’s not just about being a parent or a grandparent or a friend…it’s about how we will age and what kind of patient we will be. It all spills over. Let’s start asking the questions now as we dance into our second half lives with inspired visions of what can and will be.

And in case you forgot, today is a GREAT day to share a link to the TEDx talk on Aging as a Design Challenge with someone you know, love and respect! Let’s get the real talk going, it’s too important to hush!

News you can use

The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering
🔗 https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/the-retirement-crisis-no-one-warns-you-about-mattering-380873b2
A The Wall Street Journal article explores how loss of purpose—not just finances—can undermine well-being in later life, highlighting the importance of staying connected, useful, and engaged.

Seven Strategies for Maintaining a Sense of Self in Retirement
🔗 https://www.wsj.com/articles/seven-strategies-for-maintaining-a-sense-of-self-in-retirement-1542730754
This The Wall Street Journal piece outlines practical ways to preserve identity and meaning as roles shift, reinforcing that retirement is a transition of self—not just schedule.

Will a Purpose-Driven Life Help You Live Longer?
🔗 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/will-a-purpose-driven-life-help-you-live-longer-2019112818378
According to Harvard Health Publishing, having a clear sense of purpose is linked to longer life, better health, and stronger daily habits.

The People Who Started Again in Their 90s
🔗 https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/19/people-who-started-again-in-their-90s-nonagenarians
A The Guardian feature profiles individuals reinventing themselves well into their 90s, reminding us that identity continues to evolve at every age.

It’s Never Too Late: Adults Making Big Changes Later in Life
🔗 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/jan/12/its-never-too-late-meet-the-adults-making-big-changes-later-in-life
This The Guardian story highlights people embracing new paths later in life, reinforcing that growth, change, and becoming are lifelong processes.

Join us at the next CORE Curriculum Mindful Aging class at the St. John’s Cathedral Center for Wellbeing! Message me for sign up details:

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Grand Plans Launches ‘Mindful Aging Prescription’ to Push Aging Preparedness into Mainstream Care Conversations

Grand Plans has launched a new initiative called the “Mindful Aging Prescription,” a five-step protocol designed to help older adults and families proactively organize legal, financial, medical and caregiving plans before crisis strikes.

Created by Jacksonville gerontologist, journalist and Grand Plans founder Susanna P. Barton, MS Gero, the prescription-style framework encourages adults to complete a 90-day aging preparedness process that includes watching Barton’s TEDxJacksonville talk, taking the GeriDrama Risk Score assessment, organizing key documents, reviewing plans with loved ones and formally committing to ongoing updates.

The launch comes as the U.S. faces mounting demographic and caregiving pressures. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, nearly 70% of adults who reach age 65 will need some form of long-term services and supports during their lifetime. Meanwhile, multiple national surveys show many Americans remain unprepared. Research published in Health Affairs found only about one-third of adults have completed advance directives, while AARP reports just 51% of adults over 50 have a legal will.

The Mindful Aging Prescription directs users to complete foundational tasks including appointing powers of attorney, documenting advance directives, evaluating long-term care funding exposure, consolidating financial and digital information, discussing plans with decision-makers and creating contingency plans for housing, transportation and caregiving.

Barton said the model is intentionally structured like a medical prescription because aging preparedness should be treated as preventive care rather than a last-minute family emergency.

“Doctors prescribe physical therapy, nutrition changes and preventive screenings every day. Financial professionals prescribe retirement strategies. Lawyers prescribe legal protections,” Barton said. “But very few professionals are systematically prescribing aging preparedness, even though the consequences of failing to plan are enormous for families, healthcare systems and communities. The goal of the Mindful Aging Prescription is to normalize these conversations before crisis forces them.”

The protocol also integrates outside planning tools and organizations including Five Wishes, AARP Advance Directives and a AAA Driving Retirement Agreement.

As part of the initiative, participants are first directed to Barton’s TEDxJacksonville talk, TEDxJacksonville “Aging Isn’t a Crisis. It’s a Design Challenge We’re Ignoring,” followed by the online GeriDrama Risk Score assessment. Barton said the prescription is intended for use not only by families, but also by physicians, clergy, elder law attorneys, financial planners, senior living professionals and employers seeking structured ways to encourage planning conversations.

“Aging is inevitable,” Barton said. “Chaos is not.”

Learn more at https://mygrandplans.com/mindful-aging-rx/ Print it and share it and make sure the people you love follow through with it!

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I am working on another project that looks at some of the thinking we need to embrace at each age chunk. For example, I just turned 54 this month. What should I (we) be working toward in this glorious 50s era? What are some of the Grand Planning dos we should have at least be knowledgeable about by now? There’s so much to learn and plan for, but breaking it down in chunks — like chewing and digesting our food well — can help turn our anxious planning worries into manageable cud. (Gross, haha) I hope to share this Grand Plan repackaging with you soon.

Until then, let me swallow my cud and break Grand Planning in the 50s down for you.

Here we go. As a general measure, the 50s is a time to get aware and be knowledgeable on and accepting of what’s ahead. The first fact? That we are aging during an unprecedented demographic shift: by 2035, there will be more adults over the age of 65 than children in our country. The second is that we’re living much longer than any other time in human history. 100 years is the number we should all be planning for financially and socially. The third fact? More than 70 percent of us will need some form of expensive long-term care during our lifetime. So to give you the cud so to speak, there are a shiz ton of us older adults, living longer and needing expensive care than ever before. This is the reality-based backdrop we must plan against during our 50s.

So let’s jump into the nitty gritty. I took some of the best practice measurements from CFP, elder and estate law, insurance, health and wellness, senior housing, decluttering and other experts in the older adult ecosystem and with the help of ChatGPT blended it with my Grand Planning resources to build a rough checklist of what gold star grand planning should look like in different stages of life. This is 50-ish, ya’ll — we can do this:

1. Legal Authority: Lock It In and Keep It Current

What to do:

• Have all core documents in place:

  • Will

  • Durable Power of Attorney

  • Healthcare Proxy

  • Living Will / Advance Directive

• Review after any major life change (marriage, divorce, move, death, asset change)

Best practice check:

• Documents updated within last 3–5 years

• All decision-makers still appropriate and informed

2. Financial Readiness: Know Your Numbers (Not Just Your Intentions)

What to do:

• Calculate where you actually stand

• Increase savings rate if needed

• Align lifestyle expectations with reality

Best practice benchmarks:

• Retirement savings ≈ 6x your salary by age 50

• Savings rate ≈ 15% of gross income (including match)

Your score:

• Salary multiple = retirement savings ÷ salary

• Savings rate = annual contributions ÷ income

If you don’t know these two numbers, you are not yet “on track”—you’re guessing.

3. Long-Term Care Planning: Face the Reality Early

What to do:

• Research local costs for:

  • Home care

  • Assisted living

• Compare those costs to your future income

Run the math:

• Home care: hourly rate × hours/day × 30

• Assisted living: monthly cost – guaranteed income

Why this matters:

• ~70% of adults will need some form of care

• Medicare does not cover long-term custodial care

Goal:

• Understand your monthly care gap before it becomes a crisis

4. Housing: Test Your “Aging in Place” Assumption

What to do:

• Evaluate your current home honestly:

  • Stairs?

  • Bathroom accessibility?

  • Transportation dependence?

  • Proximity to services?

Compare two paths:

• Cost to stay:

  • Home modifications

  • Transportation alternatives

  • In-home support

• Cost to move:

  • Senior living entry + monthly fees

Best practice:

• Make this a side-by-side financial comparison, not an emotional decision

5. Organization: Build a System Someone Else Can Use

What to do:

• Create your “In Case Of” / Grand Planner / death binder

• Include:

  • Bills and accounts

  • Insurance summaries

  • Tax contacts

  • Medical info and medications

  • Passwords and device access

  • Pet care instructions

Reality test:

• If you disappeared for 30 days…

  • Could someone run your life without chaos?

If not, your system isn’t ready.

6. Communication: Close the Gap Between Plans and People

What to do:

• Talk to your chosen decision-makers about:

  • Their roles

  • Your wishes

  • Where everything is located

Best practice:

• 100% of named agents have had a real conversation

Why it matters:

• Documents without conversations = confusion under pressure

7. Health & Function: Protect Your Future Independence

What to do:

• Build habits now that protect later autonomy:

  • Strength training

  • Balance training

  • Cardiovascular activity

  • Sleep optimization

  • Hearing and vision checks

Baseline targets:

• Weekly movement (moderate activity)

• 2+ strength sessions/week

• Balance work incorporated regularly

Why it matters:

• This is the decade where future fall risk, mobility, and independence are shaped

8. Benefits, Insurance & Strategy: Know Your Options Early

What to do:

• Evaluate:

  • Long-term care insurance or hybrid products

  • Veteran benefits (if applicable)

  • Medicaid planning considerations

  • Benefits screening tools

Best practice check:

• You’ve explored all 4:

  • LTC insurance

  • VA benefits (if relevant)

  • Medicaid implications

  • Public benefits screening

9. Retirement Reality Check: Are You Actually On Track?

What to do:

• Estimate future spending

• Compare assets to need

Quick planning formula:

• Target assets ≈ 25× annual retirement spending

Your score:

• Adequacy ratio = current assets ÷ target assets

Interpretation:

• Below ~70% → requires serious adjustment (timing, spending, housing, work)

10. Life Continuity & Legacy: Reduce the Burden on Others

What to do:

• Clarify:

  • Burial vs cremation

  • Service preferences

  • Key contacts

  • Obituary starter

  • Payment/insurance details

Best practice:

• Someone else could carry out your wishes without guessing

This decade is about turning intentions into systems.

You should leave your 50s with:

✔ Clear legal authority

✔ Known financial position (not assumptions)

✔ A realistic long-term care plan

✔ A tested housing strategy

✔ A fully usable life-organization system

✔ Shared understanding with your people

✔ Health habits that protect independence

Ready, set, go! This sounds like a lot, I know… but the earlier we think about all these details and imagine the “what ifs” of our next decades, the better prepared we’ll be to handle it thoughtfully and with our own preferences guiding the decision-making. Most importantly, the better off our kids, caregivers and loved ones will be to support us without unexpected stress. One in four of us are caregivers today, according to recent studies. This thinking impacts MOST of us. What can you do today that will make the next decades of your life easier and representative of your vision? What can we do today that will be more loving for the people who will support us on the journey?

And in case you forgot, today is a GREAT day to share a link to the TEDx talk on Aging as a Design Challenge with someone you know, love and respect! Let’s get the real talk going, it’s too important to hush!

Better yet, let’s talk about PRESCRIBING Mindful Aging for all adults. Whether you’re an adult child, a healthcare provider, a legal specialist, a certified financial planner or just a really cool, thoughtful person, you can be the one to write a script for this important conversation…

Check it out at https://mygrandplans.com/mindful-aging-rx/ Print it and share it, and make sure the people you love follow through with it! Then pass it on! Here’s an overview of what you’ll find on mygrandplans:

News you can use

Retirement expectations are outpacing reality
Americans now estimate they need roughly $1.4–$1.5 million to retire comfortably, yet most households have saved far less. The article highlights how inflation, healthcare costs, and longer lifespans are widening the gap between perception and preparedness, reinforcing the importance of knowing your actual savings rate and retirement trajectory in midlife.

The long-term care gap many people in their 50s overlook
This piece focuses on the growing risk of underestimating long-term care needs, particularly for women in their 50s. It explains how longevity, caregiving interruptions, and delayed planning can significantly impact financial security, and emphasizes the importance of modeling care costs before options become limited.

Long-term care costs are rising—and require earlier planning
Long-term care costs have increased significantly in recent years, with many families unprepared for the financial impact. The article outlines practical steps such as building financial buffers, understanding care options, and protecting assets—underscoring that long-term care should be treated as a likely expense, not a remote possibility.

An overlooked solution in the elder care system
This article examines adult day care programs as a flexible and underutilized option for families balancing work and caregiving. It highlights the pressures facing the sandwich generation and broadens the conversation beyond finances to include logistics, community resources, and sustainable care models.

Caregiving is becoming a mainstream life stage
With more than 60 million Americans now acting as caregivers, this article explores how caregiving is shifting from a crisis-driven role to a more common, expected phase of life. It reflects a broader cultural move toward proactive planning, aligning with the growing need for earlier conversations around aging, support systems, and long-term decision-making.

Join us at the next CORE Curriculum Mindful Aging class at the St. John’s Cathedral Center for Wellbeing! Message me for sign up details:

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

There is a moment that happens in many families when someone says, “Uh oh, we should have talked about this sooner.” It often comes after a fall, a diagnosis or a sudden out-of-the-blue wth? that forces decisions no one feels ready to make. Important information is scattered, documents are missing, roles are unclear and emotions are high. What could have been thoughtful becomes reactive. I have seen this pattern again and again, and that’s why I’m super pumped and hoodeehoo! to introduce Next Steps: A One-Hour Conversation on Aging Mindfully. It is my most urgent hope this helps people — maybe you, maybe your parents — begin these conversations before urgency takes over.

Aging unfolds through a series of decisions that touch every part of life: legal, financial, medical, logistical and myriad personal, social and emotional preferences. Most people know, at some level, that preparation matters. Yet it is soooooooo easy to postpone. The topics feel complex. The timing never feels quite right. Families assume they will figure it out later. Too often, later turns into a moment when there is little time to think, ask questions, or align around what truly matters.

This work is grounded in a simple idea: one intentional hour can change the trajectory of how a family experiences aging. The consultation is designed as a simple, guided, structured conversation that brings clarity to areas that are often left vague or not talked about at all — ever. Together, we begin to identify what is in place, what is missing and what deserves attention now. We talk through questions that many people carry but have not yet voiced. Who would step in if something happened tomorrow, and would they know what to do? Are key legal documents in place and accessible? Does the current financial picture support the kind of care and lifestyle you envision? Is your home still the right fit for the years ahead? Which conversations with loved ones have been postponed that would bring relief if they were addressed?

Alongside the consultation, the companion guidebook provides structure and momentum. Next Steps: A One-Hour Conversation on Aging Mindfully walks readers through 14 essential areas of aging preparedness, offering a practical way to move from general awareness to specific action. It includes guidance on organizing an “In Case Of” file, often referred to as a death binder, so that critical information is easy to find when it is needed. It outlines the core legal documents—wills, powers of attorney, advance directives—and explains why each one matters. It introduces financial considerations, including the often-overlooked realities of long-term care planning. It helps participants think through housing options, caregiving choices and costs, transportation and driving retirement, and the role of government or veteran benefits. It also addresses areas that are frequently overlooked but deeply impactful, such as decluttering the home, planning for pets, strengthening community connections and articulating legacy and life meaning.

Each section is designed to answer one question: what is the next right step? Not everything at once, and not a perfect plan. Just a clear, manageable way forward. The guide also includes trusted national resources and professional organizations so families can find reliable information and qualified support as they continue the process.

We are living longer than previous generations, and with that longevity comes a broader set of decisions than many people anticipate. A significant number of adults do not have foundational legal documents in place. Families often underestimate the cost and complexity of care. Conversations about preferences and values are delayed, sometimes indefinitely. The result is unnecessary stress, confusion, and, at times, conflict during moments that are already difficult.

When people begin this process, even in small ways, there is a noticeable shift. Information becomes organized. Conversations open up. Decisions feel less overwhelming because they are no longer being made in isolation or under pressure. There is a growing sense of steadiness that comes from knowing where things stand and what comes next.

If this has been sitting on your mental to-do list, or if you have had the quiet sense that it is time to get organized, this is a place to begin. One hour, a thoughtfully designed guide, and a conversation that brings clarity to what matters most can make a meaningful difference. Aging will always include unknowns, but it does not have to be navigated without a plan.

Give me a ringading if you’re interested in taking your Next Steps. It’s a quick but important overview of things to consider now — before crisis comes. I look forward to speaking with you or your loved one! susannabarton@me.com

News you can use

1. Why Advance Directives Matter More Than People Realize
🔗 https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2026/mar/24/what-is-advance-directive
A recent piece from The Guardian explains that fewer than one-third of U.S. adults have an advance directive in place—despite how critical these documents are during medical emergencies. The article highlights how unclear wishes leave families confused and distressed, reinforcing that documenting and communicating preferences early is an act of care for loved ones.

2. The Hard Lessons Families Learn When Planning Comes Too Late
🔗 https://www.businessinsider.com/lessons-learned-end-of-life-planning-when-mother-died-2025-7
In this personal but widely relevant story, Business Insider shares the experience of a financial advisor navigating her mother’s sudden illness. Despite her professional expertise, gaps in planning—like missing healthcare proxies and unclear financial access—created stress and complications. The takeaway: even informed families can struggle without fully coordinated plans.

3. Most People Think These Conversations Matter—But Still Avoid Them
🔗 https://nypost.com/2024/12/05/lifestyle/half-of-americans-dont-know-their-parents-end-of-life-plans/
A survey covered by New York Post found that while 90% of Americans believe end-of-life conversations are important, about half have never had them with loved ones. The article underscores a major communication gap—and suggests that even simple entry points can open the door to more meaningful planning discussions.

4. How to Actually Talk to Aging Parents About the Hard Stuff
🔗 https://www.marketwatch.com/story/health-caregiving-and-estate-planning-how-to-talk-about-tough-topics-with-aging-parents-c9f174b0
This practical guide from MarketWatch walks through how to approach conversations about caregiving, finances, and legal planning. Experts recommend starting early, pacing discussions over time, and covering essentials like housing preferences, powers of attorney, and healthcare wishes to avoid confusion later.

5. A Growing Trend: Planning Ahead So Your Kids Don’t Have To Struggle
🔗 https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2025/12/21/elder-care-aging-plan-seniors/
A story from The Washington Post highlights a shift among older adults who, after caring for their own parents, are now proactively organizing documents, decluttering, and communicating plans with their children. The article reflects a broader cultural move toward intentional aging preparation to reduce future burden and family stress.

Quick thought: if you or someone you know is a financial, legal, organizational, medical or gerontology-related expert professional, please consider sharing a link to the TEDx talk with them or with clients who might benefit from the message. It can really help stir up important planning conversations that could bring in new business. I’ve been encouraging professionals to watch the video, share it with clients then engage in some dialogue about it, answering questions like:

For Financial Planners

1. How does your current financial plan account for the real costs of long-term care and extended longevity?

2. What assumptions have you made about aging that may need to be revisited or updated?

3. If a health or caregiving event happened tomorrow, how financially prepared would you feel—and where are the gaps?

4. How clearly have you communicated your financial plan and intentions to the people who may need to act on your behalf?

5. What is one financial step you could take now that would reduce future stress for you and your family?

For Estate Attorneys

1. Do your current legal documents fully reflect your wishes for both expected and unexpected life scenarios?

2. Who have you chosen to make decisions on your behalf, and how confident are you in their ability to carry out those roles?

3. When was the last time you reviewed and updated your estate plan to reflect your current life circumstances?

4. How well have you communicated your legal plans and document locations to the people who need to know?

5. What is one legal document or decision you have been postponing that could create complications later?

For Healthcare Providers

1. Have you clearly documented your healthcare preferences in case you are unable to speak for yourself?

2. Who is your designated healthcare proxy, and have you had a direct conversation with them about your wishes?

3. How prepared do you feel to navigate a sudden change in health or a longer-term decline?

4. What role do you want your family or support system to play in medical decision-making?

5. What is one step you can take now to ensure your care aligns with your values and priorities?

Come by the St. John’s Cathedral Bookstore & Gift Shop THIS SUNDAY to pick up your workbook for the upcoming CORE Curriculum classes! (And please note the event is from 9-10:30 a.m., not 1 p.m…lots going on at the Cathedral that day!)

Lots of great Grand Planning educational opportunities on the horizon. See below and contact me for details or to enroll!

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

…for Grand Planning real talk with your people.

Sunday is one of the few days we actually pause. We sit a little longer. We talk a little more. We’re in the same room. Which makes it the perfect day to have the conversation most families keep putting off.

The core of my TEDx talk gets into the practical steps—the ones that actually reduce chaos later if something changes.

👉 Watch it here:

Then don’t just move on—use it.

Make it a simple “watch + talk” moment with your family or friends. No pressure. But ya’ll, what a great starting point for real talk that moves the needle!

Here are a few questions to guide the conversation:

• If something happened, where would we find the important information we need?

• Do we have the right legal people in place to step in—and do they know it?

• How organized are our finances really… not in theory, but in practice?

• Have we clearly talked through medical preferences, or are we guessing?

• Do we understand what kind of help exists—and what it would cost?

You don’t need to figure everything out today. But if you can walk away with:

✔ one thing written down

✔ one honest conversation started

✔ one gap you didn’t see before

…that’s how this work begins.

Watch it. Share it. Talk about it. If you haven't yet, one thing that makes a real difference: comments on the YouTube video itself. That helps the algorithm find the next person who needs to hear the message. A big big biggity big thank you to everyone who has made the time to listen, like, comment and share the TEDx talk link on their social media and on YouTube. I appreciate this more than you know! And not just for my own satisfaction, because Lord knows this is not about me. This is about all of us, the people who are fortunate enough to be aging one more day today, the 1 in 4 of us who are caregivers and the millions of people in our country who will be over the age of 65 by 2035, plus the millions of people who will be supporting them. We all need a Grand Plan if we’re going to seize the opportunities and joy our second half brings!

The best plans aren’t made in a crisis—they’re made on ordinary Sundays like this one. Thank you for your support of this message! #grandplans2point0

Here is a link to the TEDx talk

News you can use

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

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Things I’m prattling on about today

I am writing you with some exciting news and a plea for help -- my TEDx talk, “Aging Isn’t a Crisis. It’s a Design Challenge We’re Ignoring,” just dropped on the TEDx Talk YouTube page! OMG! So, all the relentless (and probably annoying) mindful aging advocacy I’ve been yoo-hoo-ing about from my little corner of the social media interwebs during the past four years finally has earned the potential of finding a much wider, more global-centric audience. Thanks to the TEDx platform, the message of designing life’s second half of life with intention is well positioned to reach more aging people who need to hear it -- that’s all of us, folks!

Your help, however, is needed to maximize this important reach. Early response to the video has been thoughtful and encouraging, but to get it in front of more people, TEDx needs to see “the math”. “They” are looking for certain trends and statistics (and stuff I do not understand at all whatsoever) to occur during a talk video’s first 48 hours.

Here’s how you can help make a math difference for my TEDx talk in the first 48 hours:

1. Watch it all the way through (I know, boring, but it is important!)

2. Comment on it

3. Like it

4. Share it — text, email, or even a quick post on your social channels. (I included an image above you are welcome to right click save and use) This really is something MOST of us need to hear, share the link with your people! I guarantee people will appreciate it, even if they don’t act like it. Get the real talk flowing!

That’s it. Simple, but it really matters.

If the message resonates, I hope it sparks one small conversation — because that’s where better outcomes begin. If you’re curious to go a step further: Visit mygrandplans.com and take the GeriDrama Risk Score — a quick snapshot of how prepared you are, with one simple action you can take now. Or explore more about Mindful Aging and the core steps of building a solid plan for the second half of life. I am teaching several classes upcoming at the St. John’s Cathedral in downtown Jacksonville through the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute and the St. John’s Cathedral’s Center for Wellbeing. Information on those classes is below.

Lastly, if you are part of a group or organization that needs to hear this message, I am available to share this talk again in a more curated, intimate format. I’d love to meet with your people and real talk about mindful aging strategies!

Thanks again for your support!

Here is a link to the TEDx talk:

News you can use

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

Several years ago, I had to clean out a deceased friend’s home to generate emergency funding for her parents’ 24-7 in-home care plus, plus, plus. It scarred me for life. No exaggerating. You’d never imagine how painful it might be to pitch someone’s shampoo and hairbrush until you’re on the floor exhausted and overwhelmed, bawling over it like a total lunatic. It is heavy, devastating work voiding someone’s life. Not fun. I decided then I’d never put my kids and loved ones through that and that I’d scream from the rooftops about how horrible the experience is so others know it’s a thing and can prepare for it. Thus, my Grand Plans work.

Recently, I put my Grand Plans to practice. This past Lent I gave up the clutter. My Lenten offering was called “40 Bags for 40 Days.” Catchy, right?

So very day during Lent this year, religiously (no pun intended) I filled one grocery bag with items from my home that I no longer needed, used or loved and donated them to Goodwill or a local charity.

Lent is about making room, isn’t it. Making room for God. Making room for clarity. Making room for what matters. And that’s exactly what happened this year. My stuff was diminished and I felt so much lighter and better and more prepared for my future than ever, even though it was just 40 bags. 40 tiny little bags that represented a fraction of the big, fat, harrier stuff that will eventually need purging.

We hold onto so much stuff, memories, “someday” items, guilt gifts, old versions of ourselves, Hummel figurines lol. This season, it’s been 100 percent therapeutic practicing this kind of release.

Let me tell you a little bit more about my practice ICYMI. Each day on Facebook, I shared:

• what went in the bag

• a scripture verse about letting go

• a short reflection prompt

The response was overwhelmingly ecstatic! People loved this idea and eagerly participated in the challenge. I think there’s something to the mentality of even doing one bag or five or 10. It’s a little checked box: by filling this dang bag, I just made life a little easier on the people I love — the people who will one day have to process all this stuff I’ve accumulated over my lifetime. My stuff will impact someone I love one day, and I have done something to lessen that burden. Check.

Decluttering and living with less is a big part of aging with health and wellness. Here’s why our overwhelming piles of stuff (and we all have it, by the way, no one is immune here…I’m not just talking about hoarders and junk mongers, I’m talking about YOU and ME) is bad for us, how it affects our loved ones and where we can find help if filling 40 bags isn’t, (again, no pun intended), your bag:

Why clutter can be bad for health + wellness: Research suggests that the way we experience our home environment matters biologically. In a landmark study that included in-home observations, women whose homes were rated as more “stressful” showed a flatter daily cortisol pattern—a stress-hormone profile associated with poorer health over time—along with worse mood across the day. And it’s not only correlational: an experimental study that manipulated household chaos found that higher chaos can increase stress and negative emotion during caregiving tasks. In other words, “too much stuff” can function like background noise for your nervous system—always pinging you with one more thing to manage.

Why it becomes a problem for the people we love: Our belongings eventually become someone else’s job. One practical data point: only 24% of Americans surveyed reported having a will in 2025, and 43% of those without a will said they “just haven’t gotten around to it.” When plans aren’t documented and homes are packed, loved ones often inherit the emotional weight and the logistical labor of sorting, donating, selling, and clearing—right when they may already be grieving.

Where to find help (and not do this alone):

• Find a professional organizer: NAPO “Find a Pro” directory

• Downsizing/relocation support (great for aging-in-place transitions, too): NASMM “Find a Senior Move Manager”

• Chronic disorganization/hoarding-informed help: ICD “Find a Professional” directory

My Lenten “one grocery bag a day” practice was manageable for most folks because it’s small enough to sustain and big enough to change the future atmosphere of our homes (and the future workloads of our people). So, fill a bag, call a professional organizer, call in the big guns — consider today how you can make your load lighter for your people. It’s the Lenten gift that keeps on giving! Happy Easter everyone!

News you can use

“Need to declutter so you can downsize? A pro shows you how” – This Aging Matters feature offers practical tips from organizing professionals on how older adults can streamline belongings when preparing to downsize, showing how thoughtful decluttering becomes part of life transitions later in life.

“With age comes … stuff. Here’s how experts help older Coloradans downsize their possessions.” – A narrative about how years of accumulation can become overwhelming, and why expert support is increasingly in demand as people age and reconsider what they keep and why.

“51-year-old empty nester who struggled to declutter her house shares 8 tips that finally worked” – This story illustrates the emotional and practical journey many face when clearing out long-held possessions, including the psychological payoff of simplifying the home.

“Mental Health Benefits of Cleaning and Decluttering” – While not specific to aging, this recent article connects decluttering to reduced stress, improved mood, and a greater sense of control—reasons that resonate strongly for readers reflecting on wellness as they grow older.

Join us for the last Mindful Aging class with the Bishop’s Institute of the Diocese of Florida on May 9. Information below:

Also, I am launching a new program with the Center for Wellbeing at the St. John’s Cathedral. Information on the four-part series is below. Contact me for information about enrolling, the first session begins May 6 and 13:

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

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Recently, and after almost two years of enjoying the freedoms of petlessness, I decided to adopt a sweet, sweet little rescue pup from SAFE Pet Shelter in Crescent Beach, FL. Her name is now Gilly, with a hard G. She is the cutest little thing. All she wants to do is cuddle and sleep and give kisses and be super thankful that she’s not living in the mayhem which is enduring shelter life with the thousands of other unhoused pets in our community. She is a treasure and so far so good!

The rescue adoption process reminded me what a great idea it is to consider rescue pets for our second half companions. Why? Not only is it the right thing to do with all those loving, lonely pets out there looking for a forever home, but it offers assurance they can go somewhere should you die or be unable to care for them as you age. Rescue groups make you sign your life away and promise to take good care of your adoptee, it is not an easy process at all! I actually was concerned at one point I was not going to pass their scrutiny for some reason. But they just want to be 100 percent sure that pet is never going to end up on the streets again and will be well loved and considered in life planning -- especially when curve balls come our way. How wonderful to have assurance from an organization that they will receive your baby if for some reason you can’t anymore.

Special breed rescue groups have similar policies I believe.

Who doesn’t? Pet stores, high end breeders (some) and the weirdo on the corner trying to sell puppy mill dogs on the sly.

Look, there is zero doubt having a pet as we age is good for our health and wellness. It is 100 percent a healthy choice! Research consistently shows that pets can be beneficial for our health and mental wellness as we age. For example, a study published on PubMed exploring pet ownership among community-dwelling adults aged 65 and older found that pets provide companionship, a meaningful routine and increased social participation, which can help reduce loneliness and enhance overall emotional well-being in later life. Additionally, long-term research has linked pet ownership -- particularly of cats and dogs -- to slower cognitive decline across multiple domains such as memory and verbal fluency, suggesting that the daily interaction, emotional support and even physical activity associated with caring for a pet may contribute to healthier aging.

What isn’t healthy for anyone is when hard decisions have to be made about keeping a pet when the going gets tough. In my caregiving situation, we had to weigh expensive necessary vet bills and food purchases with that week’s 24-7 caregiving bills. The big hyper house dog also limited which caregivers were willing to work there. And jumping up on the medical bed was not good for anyone either. In that case, it was almost a blessing the dog died of a chronic illness.

We must consider our pets in our Grand Planning, there are no bones about that. At the very least, we need to be having real talk conversations with our adult children and loved ones about who will care for the pet in our absence. Here are a few solutions if you find yourself in a pet-dicament:

• Arrange in-home pet support. Hiring a dog walker, pet sitter, or asking a trusted neighbor or family member to help with feeding, walks, and vet visits can allow the pet to stay with its owner longer, even when mobility becomes limited.

• Explore pet-friendly housing or care communities. Some independent living, assisted living, and senior housing communities allow pets or offer shared “community pets,” which can preserve that bond while adding built-in support.

• Create a planned rehoming agreement. Identifying a family member, friend, or trusted acquaintance ahead of time who agrees to take the pet—temporarily or permanently—can ease anxiety and prevent rushed decisions during a crisis.

• Work with breed-specific or senior-pet rescue organizations. Many rescues specialize in placing older pets or specific breeds into loving homes and understand the emotional weight of these transitions for older adults.

• Include pets in advance planning documents. Naming a caregiver for a pet in an estate plan, pet trust, or personal care plan ensures the animal’s needs—and the owner’s wishes—are honored if circumstances change unexpectedly.

Pets bring so much light to our lives -- they keep us healthy and mentally well! They deserve.

News you can use

“The Power of Pets for Older Adults” — UCI Health (May 20, 2025): This article highlights emotional, cognitive, and lifestyle benefits that companions like cats and dogs offer older adults—including reduced stress, greater activity, and improved quality of life. It also discusses how pets can ease loneliness and provide routine and purpose, which are especially important as we age.

“4 Ways Pets Boost Our Physical Health as We Age” — National Council on Aging (Dec 17, 2024): This piece from the National Council on Aging lays out specific physical and social health advantages of pet ownership for aging adults—like increased daily movement, improved cardiovascular health, and stronger community connections. It also cites survey data showing that pets help many older adults feel less lonely and more connected to others.

3. “How Pets Enrich the Lives of the Elderly,” Texas A&M University (May 8, 2025): Published by Texas A&M College of Veterinary Medicine, this article explores how pets can enrich emotional well-being in older adults when proper care and matching are considered. It emphasizes the importance of thoughtful pet choice and how pets can provide companionship and meaning, while noting considerations for older pet owners.

The last Mindful Aging Strategies seminar for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership is May 9, 2026. The title is: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half. Come join us!

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

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I am so excited to announce the 2026 re-launch of Grand Plans the Podcast! Let’s get this show back on the road!

Grand Plans is a conversation-driven series focused on how we can age more mindfully, proactively and with better resources, planning and dialogue.

We’re currently heading into Season 4, and it is so exciting to look back and see how guests with fresh ideas continue to be part of the expert real talk. Past guests have included certified financial planners, estate planning attorneys, geriatric care professionals, hospice nurses and experts in advance directives and “death binder” organization. Across episodes, we’ve unpacked best practices, real-world insights and practical tools that help individuals and families navigate aging with greater clarity and confidence—before crisis forces the conversation.

This season will be no different. In no particular order, here are the Season 4 guests and their areas of expertise:

• Jeanette Yates, Author of From Guilt to Good Enough, self-caregiving advocate and creator of The Guilt-free Caregiver Roadmap. TOPIC: Self-caregiving

• Susan Stern, Owner and Board-Certified Life Coach, Spring to Life Coaching in Orlando. TOPIC: Dementia related caregiving and support

• Brian Levy, Chief Relationship Officer, Cambridge Caregivers / Manchester Care Homes and host of the Manchester Living podcast in Dallas TX TOPIC: Care home development and why it’s important to hire a caregiving firm vs. an individual

• Carol DeMarco, Marketing Specialist / Financial Writer /Corporate Speaker/ Corporate trainer/Credit Coach TOPIC: Reverse mortgages as an option for covering long term care costs

• Joanne Hickox, Founder of Seniors on a Mission and visionary behind the G3Village TOPIC: Thinking innovatively about senior living

• Lindsey LaMaistre, Integrative Health and Wellness Coach, Lindsey Wellness TOPIC: Health and wellness tips for the second half

• A death doula TBA soon!

• An Alzheimer’s caregiver and coach TBA soon!

The goal of Grand Plans is to normalize thoughtful, informed conversations around aging across the full spectrum: legal, financial, medical, housing, caregiving, legacy and quality-of-life planning. I have every confidence these superstar guests will bring wisdom and new perspectives on aging and gerontology to the discussion.

The first episode of Season 4 is already out on the interwebs and is basically an introduction to the relaunch. I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to bringing more hard conversations about mindful aging to the forefront during the next few months. Thanks for your patience as I navigated my Gerontology masters studies. I’m really happy to jump back into podcasting with more experience and perspective under my belt!

You can access the Grand Plans podcast wherever you get your listening material, but here’s a direct link to Season 4 Episode 1. Thanks for listening!

News you can use

There are so many great podcast shows and episodes out there full of good information about aging planning. Here are a few to share:

• Financial caregiving and end-of-life money decisions
  In this Brain & Life podcast episode, Beth Pinsker (CFP and author of My Mother’s Money) talks about the real-life financial caregiving challenges, why key legal documents matter, and how to prepare emotionally and practically.

• Long-term care planning with expert guidance
  Long-Term Care Radio is a weekly show where long-term care specialist Brian Ott breaks down policies, funding options, Medicare/Medicaid, and practical planning strategies your listeners will want to know before costs and care decisions become urgent.

• Retirement planning basics and advanced strategies
  Hosted by Andy Panko, this highly rated retirement planning podcast explores everything from Social Security and Medicare to annuities, estate planning, and income strategies, helping you connect financial planning now with comfort later.

• Insights for adult children caregiving roles
  The Aging Parent Playbook provides practical tips for adult children navigating the caregiving journey—covering legal issues, care decisions, burnout, safety, and the money conversations that often go unspoken.

• Podcast series for adult‐child caregivers
  ACAP community offers podcasts specifically for adult children caring for aging parents, blending expert insights with real family stories to help you prepare emotionally and practically for care roles ahead.

• Dementia caregiving plus legal and financial clarity
  Dementia Empowered is designed for family caregivers dealing with dementia—sharing legal, financial, and care-centric guidance that helps you make informed decisions in complex aging scenarios.

The next two Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the remaining dates: March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

I hate talking about money. It’s awkward and it makes me nervous. Sometimes it makes me sweat, or feel ashamed or worried or confused, and almost every time it is a conversation I wish I hadn’t stepped into. But this fear is holding me — and anyone else who shares this stupid discomfort — back from thriving during life’s second-half. This non-math-doing, numbers-averse gero-freak is here to tell you we MUST get comfortable talking about money with our adult children, loved ones and future caregivers or we will all pay dearly for it. Bottom line: get over your money hang ups and get real with your people about what’s in your wallet.

I know, I know. It is rude, crude and socially unacceptable to talk money openly with folks. At least that’s the precedent generations before us established and what most of us consider polite or “normal” today. But ya’ll, it’s not polite or normal to hide helpful (life-giving!) information from the people who will one day help us. Providing clarity around our financial picture and plans is one of the most loving acts we can do for our loved ones. Let’s get into why:

Most adult children are flying blind. According to research cited by AARP and multiple national surveys, nearly half of adult children have never had a real conversation with their parents about money and many don’t know basic things like debt levels or where accounts are, making future decision-making far more stressful than it needs to be.

Uncertainty turns into stress for everyone involved. As NerdWallet research has shown, more than half of Americans either already help their aging parents financially or expect to, yet fewer than one-third have done any formal planning, which means loved ones are often left guessing when it’s go time and crises abound.

Caregiving without financial clarity is costly. According to AARP’s Caregiving in the U.S. report, about 50 percent of family caregivers experience negative financial impacts, including taking on debt, something many say could have been circumvented with clearer conversations and planning ahead of time.

Multigenerational financial support is now the norm, not the exception. Research summarized by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving shows that roughly one in four Americans financially support an aging parent, often while managing their own households. Transparency around money really not an option anymore.

Silence creates emotional fallout long after the numbers are sorted. With more than 63 million family caregivers in the U.S., AARP research consistently finds that lack of clarity around finances and plans increases anxiety, conflict, and guilt—while early, honest conversations significantly reduce stress when roles shift.

Now this goes without saying, there are some family members, loved ones and caregivers that don’t deserve our trust or transparency. Usually, those people have showed us time and time again that they aren’t to be trusted — so the second half is not the time for a do-over with such folks. Keep them at arm’s length and out of your business, and keep people who have proven to be honest, upright, loving and with your best interest at the forefront close.

I experienced scenarios with loved ones who were reluctant to share financial information — one kept telling me not to worry, and that “everything would be just fine.” Another told me zilch and left me to scramble and figure things out on the fly. In both cases, that silence caused the same level of panic, worry and hair-shedding stress. One fortunately was “just fine” in the end, the other was not. Lesson learned? Please don’t be like me and get nervous pit sweat over financial conversations. Get comfortable with money talk now and save your loved ones from unnecessary fret later. It’s invaluable and a smart investment in their future sanity, facts.

News you can use

Understanding finances and healthcare decisions helps older adults manage costs, make informed choices, and plan ahead instead of reacting in crisis. “Financial health literacy involves money management, medical bills, understanding health insurance, and planning for long-term care needs—skills that impact health decision-making and psychological well-being.” — from a financial health literacy review published in Frontiers in Public Health (PMC)

When families avoid the topic of long-term care costs, it increases stress and leaves loved ones scrambling later. “While 7 in 10 people turning 65 will need some form of long-term care, fewer than 1 in 3 have planned for their long-term care needs and costs with their families.” — Caregiver Action Network summary of research from the Center for a Secure Retirement

Being confident with money helps older adults make the right choices now and reduces anxiety later. “As we age, our financial needs and responsibilities evolve. From managing retirement income to planning for healthcare expenses, being financially literate can make a big difference in your quality of life and peace of mind.” — McMaster University Optimal Aging blog on financial literacy and healthy aging

Lack of financial stability doesn’t just affect bank accounts — it affects health. “Financially at-risk individuals are more likely to skip needed medical care due to cost, which can worsen health outcomes as they age.” — National Council on Aging article on how financial guidance impacts overall well-being

Understanding the full range of costs helps families plan early and avoid chaos later. “As seniors age, financial planning becomes increasingly critical to ensure a secure and comfortable future, including identifying long-term care costs, resources, and strategies for longevity.” — overview of senior financial planning challenges and strategies

Long-term family caregiving often brings unanticipated financial stress that could be eased with early planning. “Long-term caregiving is demanding and often includes financial concerns as caregivers balance care with personal needs — making planning and support essential.” — Caregiver Action Network on the realities of family caregiving

The next two Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the remaining dates: March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

Shelf life

Speaking of…this book should be part of the conversation. Here’s the write up on it from Amazon:

“A comprehensive, compassionate guide for navigating end-of-life financial decisions for an aging parent or other loved one—from an award-winning journalist who is also a Certified Financial Planner

Have you just gotten the dreaded phone call—a parent or loved one has taken a turn for the worse and suddenly the burden is on you to manage their affairs? Or are you simply hoping to navigate complex financial conversations with your aging mother or father well in advance so you don’t encounter problems later? This is the book for you.

In this practical handbook, award-winning MarketWatch columnist and financial expert Beth Pinsker walks you through everything you need to know about the complex world of end-of-life financial planning. Weaving personal stories from her experience caring for her elderly mother with best practices gleaned from more than 100 experts and family caregivers, My Mother’s Money is a much-needed lifeline to those facing one of life’s most challenging transitions. Drawing on the latest legal, financial, and healthcare resources, Beth offers clear, actionable advice on common scenarios millions of people will face:

• How to become a parent’s legally authorized healthcare and financial proxy

• Budget templates for projecting long-term care costs

• Easy-to-understand advice on settling an estate or handling insurance

• Scripts for broaching tricky conversations with aging parents

• Strategies to avoid potential financial shortfalls

• Tips for managing the emotional toll of “caregiver burnout”

Watching your parents age can stir up a mix of emotions—nostalgia, concern, and often, a sense of uncertainty about the future. And assuming care for your aging loved ones can be an overwhelming sea of endless checklists, textbook explanations, and mind-numbing paperwork. With this definitive guide to elder financial planning, you can navigate these processes with confidence, saving time, energy, and peace of mind for what really matters.”

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

It may seem super obvious, but I believe curiosity, honesty and open, ongoing conversation with loved ones are at the heart of designing a solid Grand Plan. No talk equals no action. You can entertain (or dismiss!) thoughts on aging preparation all day long, but they won’t get any traction until you start talking to others about them. Like my Uncle George reminds us when he quotes Albert Einstein, “Nothing happens until something moves.” That’s a sciency way of saying action is necessary for progress to occur, whether you’re talking about atomic bombs or planning your second half of life with intention.

With that in mind, I am introducing a new line of Grand Plans resources called the Grand Plans Conversation Cards. There are four editions: one for adult children to use with parents, one for parents to use with adult children, another for friends and peers and another for professional colleagues and clients. Each set includes important prompts to generate real talk about preparing for aging. The goal? To normalize conversations about our second half planning and get things moving -- in the right direction! These cards are currently in production and I aim to release them through the St. John’s Cathedral Bookstore and Gift Shop and other online venues this spring.

Until then, let’s talk about the why behind healthy conversations about aging. Why can’t we just let all this stuff simmer in our own dam brains, in private, without an annoying audience of naysayers noodling our plans? Why can’t we just let our own selves be?

The short answer? It’s selfish and destructive for relationships, our one day caregivers and the people we love most. Refusing to discuss our plans openly creates monster headaches and can absolutely decimate the legacies we may be working hard to cultivate. Not talking about it is ruinous, plain and simple.

As we age, 70 percent of us will need some kind of long term care support. 70 percent! That’s MOST of us. So, the thought that we can do all this aging stuff on our own without involving others is statistically unlikely.

Here are a few data-driven reasons why real talking about Grand Planning is important:

Most people agree these conversations matter, but very few actually have them.
National surveys show that 9 in 10 adults (≈90–92 percent) say conversations about aging, end-of-life wishes, and care preferences are important, yet only about 1 in 3 (≈27–32 percent) have actually discussed them with loved ones (The Conversation Project). What we avoid talking about doesn’t disappear, it just sits around and waits for more stress to build up around it.

When plans aren’t discussed early, decisions shift to crisis mode.
Caregiving research shows that the majority of long-term care decisions are made during or immediately after a health event, not through proactive planning—leaving families scrambling under stress (National Alliance for Caregiving). Silence doesn’t preserve control; it hands it over later.

Unspoken expectations significantly increase caregiver stress.
According to national caregiver surveys, more than one-third of caregivers (≈36–40 percent) report high emotional stress, and stress levels are markedly higher when preferences were never discussed in advance (AARP). Conversation is a preventive mental-health strategy, for everyone involved.

Social connection and communication are linked to better health outcomes.
Large meta-analyses cited by public health researchers show that people with strong social relationships have a roughly 50 percent greater likelihood of survival over time compared to those who are socially isolated (American Psychological Association). Processing life transitions out loud is biologically protective.

Shared decision-making increases the likelihood wishes are honored.
Health-services research finds that patients who engage in shared decision-making and discuss preferences in advance are significantly more likely to receive care aligned with their values and goals, particularly in later life (Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality). Autonomy grows when it’s articulated.

Avoidance raises stress even when people think they’re “handling it.”
NIH-supported studies link avoidance of emotionally difficult topics to higher physiological stress responses over time, even when individuals report feeling fine day-to-day (National Institutes of Health). Talking reduces cognitive load while silence quietly compounds it.

Talking about aging isn’t something to avoid or stay quiet about, it should be natural and ongoing and productive. And also to add here, there’s no one right way to do anything! Mindful aging discussions show us every person deals with financial, social, legal and physical completely unique to their very personal situation. There is no one size fits all, in fact, no outcome or discussion will be the same! So no reason to get competitive or copycat someone else’s strategy or try to apply a perceived “right” way to your particular life. You do you, but do you with others through healthy conversations and good listening.

Ready to start talking now? Can’t wait for the cards’ release? Here are a few questions to get things moving, as Einstein suggests:

When you imagine the next 10–20 years of your life, what feels most important to protect—your independence, your relationships, your comfort, or your sense of purpose?

If life surprised you with a health change, who would you want involved in decisions—and what would you want them to understand about your values first?

What does “aging well” actually mean to you—not in theory, but in daily life?

Are there aspects of aging or future care that worry you but that you’ve never really said out loud?

If staying in your current home became harder, what would matter most about your next living situation?

What kind of help would feel supportive to you—and what kind would feel intrusive?

How do you want your loved ones to feel if they ever need to step in and help you?

What conversations do you wish your parents or grandparents had had with you earlier?

If we had to make decisions quickly someday, what would you most want us to know about what matters to you?

What would it look like for us to revisit these conversations regularly—so nothing feels rushed or overwhelming later?

These questions aren’t about solving everything at once. They’re about opening the door, building shared understanding and making sure no one is left guessing when clarity matters most. Hopefully these Grand Plans Conversation Cards can help you and your loved ones engage in more productive mindful aging talk in the New Year. Cheers to that!

News you can use

“What’s your plan? Talk about it during Palliative Care Week” (Metro South Health)
A health organization urging families to talk about future care preferences rather than avoid the topic. Importance of discussing future health care plans

Recent JAMA-related study highlights advance care planning in older adults (Johns Hopkins Public Health)
Covers new research on advance care planning effectiveness and implications for communication practice. Advance care planning study in older adults (JAMA Network)

UAB experts explain why advance care planning is important and how to get started (University of Alabama at Birmingham)
Offers practical reasons and steps for initiating conversations about future medical care with loved ones. Why advance care planning conversations matter (UAB)

Open communication is key to planning with aging parents (Oklahoma State University Extension)
Practical guide about why talking early and clearly with aging parents about finances, wills, and plans helps avoid conflict later. Open communication with aging parents matters

The next two Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the remaining dates: March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

Shelf life

This book, Talking About Death Won’t Kill You, should be part of the conversation. Here’s the write up on it from Amazon:

Death is a part of life. We used to understand this, and in the past, loved ones generally died at home with family around them. But in just a few generations, death has become a medical event, and we have lost the ability to make this last part of life more personal and meaningful. Today people want to regain control over health-care decisions for themselves and their loved ones.

Talking About Death Won’t Kill You is the essential handbook to help Canadians navigate personal and medical decisions for the best quality of life for the end of our lives. Noted palliative-care educator and researcher Kathy Kortes-Miller shows readers how to identify and reframe limiting beliefs about dying with humor and compassion. With robust resource lists, Kortes-Miller addresses

• advance care plans for ourselves and our loved ones

• how to have conversations about end-of-life wishes with loved ones

• how to talk to children about death

• how to build a compassionate workplace

• practical strategies to support our colleagues

• how to talk to health-care practitioners

• how to manage challenging family dynamics as someone is dying

• what is involved in medical assistance in dying (MAID)

Far from morbid, these conversations are full of meaning and life — and the relief that comes from knowing what your loved ones want, and what you want for yourself.

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

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Things I’m prattling on about today

In my last post, I opined on talking about ourselves too much in conversation and the importance of asking questions and reducing the “well I-s” from our engagements with others. This is a crucial consideration because forming close relationships with others is a key input to thriving during our second half. Today, I want to talk about a nonprofit that’s pushing this important agenda and doing so successfully through programming that connects isolated older adults through meaningful conversations. This New York City-based nonprofit is called Life Story Club, and I would like very much to bring this initiative to Jacksonville FL.

The better word is DETERMINED to bring it to Jacksonville FL. In fact, let me rephrase altogether by saying for the past few months, I have been part of a pilot group of folks from around the country who are working to do the same for their communities. We have been meeting monthly to discuss the hows and wheres and whats and sharing progress and I would love nothing more than to see something happen in Duuuuuuuval in 2026!

Here’s what Life Story Club is all about and why it would be so incredibly impactful to have clubs in Northeast Florida:

According to their website, Life Story Club hosts Virtual Storytelling Communities, “weekly virtual social clubs for older adults over the phone or Zoom. Each meeting is guided by a trained facilitator who provides thoughtful prompts that inspire members to reflect, share, and connect through personal life experiences. This provides: Consistent weekly connection, Offered in Spanish, Mandarin, Cantonese, and English, Easy access by phone or video , Small, supportive groups led by expert facilitators.” Here’s a recent story about the program:

For seniors dealing with social isolation, NYC programs provide intergenerational events - CBS New York

And another one!

How an Anti-Loneliness Club Is Helping NYC Seniors Feel Seen Again

Life Story Club also offers other programs, but the virtual and hybrid clubs are for what it’s most known and in my opinion, where it’s making the most difference. Basically, it helps connect isolated older adults so they can build relationships and build a network of support. This is so important, and as I saw firsthand, essential to the older adults participating. I observed one club meeting virtually, and these folks freely shared very personal stories. Their affinity for each other was obvious and so endearing. The particular club I sat in on had been meeting virtually, and on occasion in-person, each week for YEARS. They may all be isolated or living alone, but Life Story Club helped them build lifegiving community. It was inspiring. Truly.

The facilitators play a key role in these conversations because they are trained in asking the questions that let each participant go deeper. These club meetings aren’t blab-fests, they are respectful, well-managed forums for sharing that bring people closer. Good facilitator questions are the key. There are no opportunities for the “well Is” in these groups. Everyone gets their turn and as a result, people listen, engage and ultimately, create deep connections that enrich their lives.

As we move into 2026, look out for opportunities to get involved with local programming. Or maybe you live in another community that could benefit from these conversations. Reach out to them! Sharing, listening and building relationships creates community which fortifies our collective healthy aging and in turn, strengthens our community. More of this, please! Let’s keep the conversation going.

News you can use

The World Health Organization emphasizes that strong social connections—ways people relate and interact—are linked to better overall health and longevity, underscoring the importance of community ties.

AARP’s coverage summarizes expert insights showing that social engagement supports cognitive and emotional health in older adults and plays a central role in brain function, resilience, and longevity.

The next two Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the remaining dates: March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

Shelf life

This book, Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half, is great, definitely worth a read for the gero perspective! Here’s the recap:

“A New York Times bestseller!

From America’s Gerontologist, a practical guide that offers a radical and optimistic approach to longevity.

Dr. Kerry Burnight—known to her many followers as “Dr. Kerry”—is sparking a revolution to make older better. Fed up with the fear driven, anti-aging hysteria, hundreds of thousands of people turn to Dr. Kerry for her practical, effective and uplifting approach to navigating longevity—our parents’ and our own.

In Joyspan, Dr. Kerry shares her popular philosophy and tools in a comprehensive resource that moves readers from fear to peaceful confidence. Dr. Kerry’s insights, along with those of her inspiring 95 year-old mother Betty, are based upon a profound truth: the key to good longevity isn’t the length of your life, it’s the quality of your life. Books that advance lifespan and “healthspan” don’t address the whole picture. Dr. Kerry introduces readers to the critical concept of “joyspan” based on the science of well-being, contentment, connection, meaning, growth, choice, and purpose.

Part manifesto, part how-to guide, Joyspan proves that internal strength is as critical as external fitness.Filled with both perspective-shifting strategies and troubleshooting for the specific challenges of aging—including caregiving, dementia, unexpected diagnoses, isolation, uncoupling via death or divorce, financial concerns, and more— this book is an essential resource for a generation looking for a better way to grow older—and to help our aging parents do the same.

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

Socializing and community-building are some of the most fundamental components to healthy aging and we should all be doing more of it as we move through life’s second half. But on behalf of all the introverted souls out there, I humbly ask we do so with a little cognizance of two small but ruinous convo-crushers that can break connections instead of building them: the interjection, “well” and the pronoun, “I.” Together as “well, I…”, they are the prelude to what is commonly known as “one-upping” or “April-flowering”* or “mic-hogging.” Chances are, you have been victimized by this conversation approach, and chances are even greater you’ve been that person a few times or 10 (like me!), especially when the chard is flowing you feel super interesting and rich with rizz.

Surely, you’ve performed in this scene before during a recent gathering:

Party guest/friend: (Bares soul. Shares tale about some recent occurrence or deep thought. Concludes with sigh or exclamation.)

You/Me/The Blabber Mouth: “Well, I...had the same recent occurrence a few years ago and it was 10 billion times worse, and 100 billion times more impactful and let me go on and on and on about my “well I” moment for the remainder of the gathering.”

Cringe. We do this sort of the thing ALL THE TIME, ya’ll. Let’s just stop it already. Our second-half health and wellness are at stake! Instead of building relationships, we are singlehandedly wrecking them this sort of Me!Me!Me! communication style. And no joke, if we want to live longer, healthier and more meaningfully as we age, we simply must sharpen our others-focused attitude and socializing skills. Here’s why:

Emerging research shows it may actually be essential to how well we age. A recent peer-reviewed study published in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity provides compelling evidence that social connection is not just emotionally supportive, but biologically protective. Researchers found that older adults with strong, sustained social ties -- through friendships, family relationships, community involvement, or faith-based connections -- showed signs of slower biological aging compared to their less-connected peers. In other words, meaningful social engagement may help the body age more slowly at a cellular level.

This research reinforces what many older adults intuitively know: staying connected helps us feel better. But it goes further, demonstrating that socializing is linked to lower inflammation, reduced stress, better physical health and longer life. As we consider what it means to age well, social connection is not optional—it’s foundational.

Research published in Psychology Today notes that people who continually steer conversations toward themselves may initially receive support but ultimately push people away. Partners and friends report feeling depleted and neglected and may eventually avoid interacting with the self-focused person, harming the quality and longevity of relationships.

So, what do we do to avoid being “that person” in our second half? Simple: ask more questions. Put your listening ears on for crying out loud. Get RASA! RASA?

Sound and communication expert, author and professional speaker Julian Treasure’s RASA model is a simple framework for practicing active listening that strengthens trust and connection in relationships. RASA stands for Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, and Ask. Receive means giving someone your full attention—listening without interrupting or planning your response. Appreciate involves acknowledging what the other person has shared through verbal or nonverbal cues, signaling that they feel heard and valued. Summarize requires briefly reflecting back what you’ve understood, which helps ensure clarity and reduces miscommunication. Finally, Ask encourages thoughtful follow-up questions that invite the speaker to go deeper. Together, these four steps shift conversations away from self-focus and toward genuine understanding, making RASA a practical tool for building more meaningful, respectful, and resilient relationships at any stage of life.

The evidence proves Treasure’s RASA gets results. A 2017 Harvard Business School piece showed question-asking increases interpersonal liking because it reflects responsiveness -- showing understanding, validation and care instead of me, me and me. In multiple live conversation studies, individuals who asked more questions were consistently liked more by their partners than those who asked fewer questions, suggesting that listening and eliciting the other person’s perspective is fundamental to forming rapport. And as the first Harvard study showed, rapport is the key to healthy socialization, which is key to successful aging!

So, as we approach more opportunities to building relationships during the holidays, 2026 and life beyond, let’s do ourselves a favor and follow-up more conversations with questions instead of being the most interesting person in the room. Let’s nix the Well Is! Well I do declare we will be more enriched, better supported adults if we do.

*This is “April-flowering” by the way...listen out for the “Well, Is”:

News you can use

This AP News article highlights grassroots efforts across U.S. cities to combat social isolation and loneliness, emphasizing that building connections and community relationships is vital for health and well-being. Former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy supports these efforts, warning of the health risks of disconnection and the importance of intentional social bonds.

A recent Mayo Clinic piece explores how social factors — including strong social networks and good conversation — are major determinants of health as we age, shaping emotional resilience, cognitive health, and longevity.

This article summarizes research showing that older adults who engage more in everyday talk tend to perform better on cognitive tests, suggesting that conversational activity isn’t just social — it’s tied to brain health and memory performance.

The next three Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the dates: January 24, 2026: Seminar 2: Community: Village-building, Help-finding and Service in Life’s Second Half; March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

Shelf life

This book, From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood Trauma, is by Jacksonville-based author, podcaster and influencer Jeannette Yates. Her story brings so much perspective on caregiving and most importantly, care for the caregiver. Here’s the book recap:

“Feeling overwhelmed by caregiving?
Stuck in guilt but craving freedom?

In From Guilt to Good Enough, Jeanette Yates offers a powerful guide for caregivers struggling to find balance and peace. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life.

In this book, you will:

• Learn how to cope with the emotional toll of caregiving in healthy ways.

• Discover the Balance and Boundaries System to set boundaries that actually work.

• Understand why traditional self-care fails—and what truly works.

• Design a self-care plan that aligns with your needs, not guilt.

• Break free from dysfunctional family roles and reclaim your life.

From Guilt to Good Enough helps you stop feeling like a failure and start feeling confident as a caregiver, without sacrificing your own well-being.

Don’t let guilt run your life. Take the first step towards healing and freedom—get your copy today!”

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans

Things I’m prattling on about today

Happy New Year, my fellow Grand Planners! Lots of big news to unpack as we launch into 2026, so without further ado or aud lang syne, here are the latest headlines from my little corner of the mindful aging universe:

BIG BIG NEWS! Today, I’m launching the GeriDrama Risk Score™, a simple, non-sciencey, non-research-heavy, 20-question snapshot that shows how prepared you — and the people you love — are for the second half of life. I’ll be referencing this in my TEDx Jacksonville talk upcoming too. But you’re the first to get the skinny!

We all know families (most likely we ARE those families or people!) who’ve been thrown into crisis because important decisions, documents, plans and conversations weren’t in place. Most of us assume we’re “fine” until a health scare, unexpected hospitalization, or sudden caregiving moment makes it clear that we aren’t as ready as we thought.

The GeriDrama Risk Score gives you a quick, honest reflection of your personal and unique readiness across the realms of:

• Legal planning

• Financial clarity

• Housing and long-term care strategy

• Family communication and alignment

Each item is scored 0 = yes/complete, 1 = partial/in progress, 2 = not yet, so you’ll get an instant sense of what’s solid and what still needs attention.

Why It Matters

As you’ve heard me preach over and over and over again, preparedness and mindful aging are about foresight, not fear, friends. It’s about:

• Avoiding the overwhelm that so many of us have (and will! Promise!) experience

• Protecting your future self and your loved ones

• Making life easier for the people who love you

• Turning unknowns into practical next steps

Curious? Take the Test and Let’s Talk About it

Click here to assess your GeriDrama Risk Score™

It takes just a few minutes, and it can spark the kinds of conversations that are guaranteed to create peace of mind for you and your people in this glorious New Year. I hope this tool helps you feel more equipped, more empowered, and more ready for whatever the second half of life brings. Most of all, I look forward to hearing about your score and unpacking your next steps. Feel free to share this with people who need to hear this message, it’s the New Year’s gift that keeps on giving!

The second biggest headline, of course, is the TEDx Jacksonville talk coming up January 17, 2026 at the University of North Florida. I’m a little nervous, like kinda super very nervous, but my conviction about sharing the urgent message of Grand Planning and Mindful Aging far outweighs the nervous pitting and lip chewing I’ve been negotiating. Please come if you’re in town! Here’s a link to tickets. If not, look for the TEDx Jacksonville talk videos to be available in the coming weeks.

OK moving along. Next on the big headline list is this announcement: We are offering a new Mindful Aging Strategies course at the St. John’s Cathedral’s Center for Wellbeing in 2026! It’s called CORE Curriculum: Creating Order, Resilience and Ease in Aging. If you go to the Cathedral or are familiar with its awesomeness, you’ll appreciate the CORE part, you know, “Love at the Core” hint hint. Anyway. I thought it was clever, but I’m just a word-loving gerontology weirdo. And I’m suuuuper excited to put this series out there. Here’s the lowdown on this free, awesome opportunity at the CFW, dates TBD but likely they will be the first Wednesdays in March, June, September and December:

Program Overview

The Mindful Aging Strategies: CORE Curriculum is a four-part, year-long learning experience designed to help adults thoughtfully prepare for the practical, financial and emotional dimensions of later life. Each quarterly course combines education, self-reflection and guided action so participants leave not only with new insights but also with completed, tangible documents to include in their Grand Planner, death binder or in-case of folder. Each course meets over two sessions:  Session 1: In-person/Zoom hybrid class introducing the topic, concepts and guided completion of the featured planning tools.  Session 2: Virtual (Zoom) follow-up one week later for group discussion, reflection and sharing of participants completed materials and next steps. Through the series, participants develop a personalized Mindful Aging CORE Curriculum Portfolio, a practical roadmap for aging intentionally and living with purpose.

MAS CORE 101 — Legal and Advance Directives: PREPARE for Your Care

This opening course introduces the legal and ethical foundations of aging wisely. Participants learn about wills, trusts, powers of attorney and healthcare decision-making tools, along with strategies for initiating meaningful conversations with loved ones and care providers. Tangible Outcome: Each participant completes oAicial Advance Directives using PREPARE for Your Care materials, ready to be signed, witnessed and stored in their Grand Planner. Format:  Session 1: Hybrid workshop – overview of legal documents and step-by-step guidance through forms.  Session 2: Zoom discussion – sharing insights from completing directives and tips for family communication.

MAS CORE 201 — Home and Mobility Opportunities

This course explores how where and how we live influences independence and quality of life. Participants review material from the Aging Life Care Association describing housing and care options for older adults, including aging in place and necessary modifications and a link to the Genworth Cost of Care calculator. The class also explores the need to reimagine transportation and mobility and the reality of transitioning from driving one day. Tangible Outcome: Each participant leaves with a signed AAA Driving Retirement Agreement and a personalized list of senior housing options that reflect their lifestyle, safety and financial preferences. Format:  Session 1: Hybrid presentation and exercises on housing options and future mobility choices.  Session 2: Zoom follow-up for comparing insights, sharing resource lists, and discussing emotional aspects of giving up the car keys or changing homes.

MAS CORE 301 — Financial Confidence and Key Information

Financial clarity is essential to confident aging. This course focuses on organizing critical information and strengthening financial literacy for the second half. Participants will learn what information is necessary to support those who step into help us and certified f inancial professionals with whom we may work. Tangible Outcome: Each participant creates a Personal Key Information Inventory – a document listing vital accounts, policies passwords and contacts, along with a helpful document from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College of next steps and f inancial planning strategies. Format:  Session 1: Hybrid overview of financial planning foundations and guided documentation.  Session 2: Zoom review and group exchange of practical strategies, resource sharing, and lessons learned from organizing key data.

MAS CORE 401 — Living a Legacy Mindset

The culminating course integrates the emotional and reflective dimensions of Mindful Aging Strategies. Through guided exercises in life review, storytelling and values clarification, participants explore what it means to live, and leave, a meaningful legacy. Tangible Outcome: Participants complete a Personal Mission Statement and a Draft Obituary, articulating the values, impact, and gratitude they hope to be remembered for. These documents serve both as a compass for daily living and a legacy record for loved ones. Format:  Session 1: Hybrid workshop introducing the concept of legacy mindset and guided writing of mission statement and obituary template.  Session 2: Zoom gathering for participants to share reflections, exchange feedback, and discuss how to live their mission, perhaps what is articulated in their obituary, now.

Lastly, the next three Mindful Aging Strategies seminars for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida’s Bishop’s Institute for Ministry and Leadership have been calendared. Here are the dates: January 24, 2026: Seminar 2: Community: Village-building, Help-finding and Service in Life’s Second Half; March 21, 2026: Seminar 3: Advanced: Legal, Financial & Transportation Planning for Life’s Second Half; and May 9, 2026: Seminar 4: Legacy: Walking our Walk, Writing our Story and Communicating our Plans in Life’s Second Half.

News you can use

I think I’ve sufficiently fire hosed all the mindful aging news you can possibly use for now, so over and out and apologies for the info dousing above.

Shelf life

This book, Age in Place or Find a New Space, is on my New Year’s reading list. It’s something we all need to think about as we consider where and how we will live during life’s second half. Here’s the description from Amazon:

“You want to stay in your home as you get older--but do you really know what that takes? Do you know what it will cost? And how will you know when aging in place is no longer the right option?

Age in Place or Find a New Space® is your essential guide to planning with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Whether you’re an aging adult shaping your future, an adult child helping your parents navigate big decisions, or a financial planner guiding clients through life-changing choices, this book gives you the tools to make smart, proactive moves.

Carol Chiang, a nationally recognized aging-in-place expert and occupational therapist, brings a refreshingly honest, practical voice to the aging conversation. With humor, warmth, and real-world strategies, she shows you why thoughtful home modifications can save money in the long run-and why investing in your home now is one of the most generous social contributions you can make.

Explore the real cost of aging in place, why building positive habits in your twenties can change everything, and how creating beautiful, tech-enabled spaces can dramatically reduce the fear of falling--a fear that often fuels inactivity and isolation.

Carol introduces exciting future technologies---many born from space and military innovations that are already reshaping the homes of tomorrow. You’ll discover how virtual rehab, robotics, voice-controlled environments, and even hologram technology can create homes that don’t just house you--they actively support you.

But this isn’t just about high-tech solutions. Carol brings her signature MacGyver-style mindset to every chapter, offering scrappy, budget-friendly hacks alongside cutting-edge possibilities-proving that you don’t need to spend a fortune to build a home you love.

And with about 90,000 Americans diagnosed with Parkinson’s each year, chances are you’ll soon know someone living with it. Carol offers clear, Parkinson’s-specific guidance to help you understand what to expect and how to truly support someone from day one.

Packed with real stories, step-by-step checklists, and actionable solutions, this book will leave you informed, empowered, and ready to take action-whether you’re planning for yourself, supporting someone you love, or helping clients build safer, more joyful lives at home.”

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.

Share Grand Plans