We’re pausing our free Substack newsletter and paid Substack subscriptions for a bit while we take care of a few things behind the scenes that need our full attention right now.

If you’re a paid Substack subscriber, you won’t be charged during the pause, and all of the content you already have access to through your subscription will remain available.

If you’ve purchased one of our e-courses — including the Tails of Connection Challenge, Challenge 2.0, Camp TOC, or Attention Unlocked — this pause does not affect your access. You’ll continue to have access to those courses as usual.

Thank you for your patience — and for being here. We’ll be back with more soon.

– TOC

Happy Friday!

A quick programming note: We won't be publishing a newsletter next week as we're taking some time off to be with family during the holiday weekend here in the United States. We hope those of you celebrating have a wonderful Fourth of July, and we'll see you back in your inbox soon.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: The Paw Cross Trick

Sometimes training doesn’t have to solve a problem. Sometimes it’s just fun.

This week we’re featuring a tutorial from @my_tree_gsps on how to teach your dog to cross their paws. It’s adorable, surprisingly impressive-looking, and a great way to have a dialogue with your dog grounded in positive reinforcement.

Bonus: once your dog masters it, they’ll look incredibly sophisticated posing for photos.

If you give it a try, tag us—we’d love to see your dog’s best paw-cross pose.

🌊 TOC’s Take: The Pool Fence That Never Stood a Chance

Meet Goose.

His family installed a pool fence to keep him from swimming whenever the mood struck. Unfortunately for the fence, Goose had other plans.

Watching him obliterate the barrier is funny enough. The bigger mystery? How did Finley, the Golden Retriever, get in there too?

The comments somehow make the video even better. One of our favorites:

“The added shame of having to unlock the gate to go chase him 😂”

I don’t know … the desperate “Goose!” right before he plows through the gate had me.

Some dogs love tennis balls. Some dogs love food. Goose loves swimming—and that’s exactly what makes this video so entertaining. It’s a reminder that when something is incredibly reinforcing like swimming and dogs are highly motivated, management strategies sometimes need an upgrade.

We’re pretty sure we’ve watched this at least four times already.

🧠 Community Corner: The Vagus Nerve Goes Viral

Have you noticed everyone talking about the vagus nerve lately?

This week, The Washington Post explored the growing fascination with vagus nerve stimulation and its role in stress regulation. The vagus nerve helps connect the brain and body and plays an important role in regulating our stress response.

Jessica was especially interested because breath work has come up repeatedly during her flute lessons over the past several months. It was fascinating to learn that FDA-approved vagus nerve stimulation devices are already used for certain medical conditions, while researchers continue studying newer non-invasive approaches.

For most of us, the article highlighted more accessible practices that may support nervous system regulation, including:

• Exercise
• Meditation
• Breath work
• Cold exposure

Have you ever tried breath work, meditation, cold plunges, or another practice that helped you feel calmer and more grounded? We love that this article highlights tangible behaviors used to change conditions in order to change how your nervous system is responding, and we’d love to hear about your own experience in the comments.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Edible Bouncy Balls

This week we came across a whimsical and fun idea to make your dog DIY edible bouncy balls using a silicone mold*. We love how the ingredients are beautifully on display and can be customized with your dog’s favorite treats. For ball-loving pups, this looks like a fun way to combine enrichment, hydration, and a tasty snack.

Here’s the recipe that @dogishuman shared:

Ingredients

• ½ cup diced add-ins (dog-safe fruits, vegetables, meats, fish, or more)

• 1 cup bone broth

• 4 tablespoons unflavored gelatin

Directions

1. Whisk 4 tablespoons of gelatin into 1 cup of warm bone broth.

2. Fill the mold with the diced add-ins (and, if desired, a dog-safe multivitamin).

3. Pour the liquid mixture into the molds.

4. Refrigerate for 2–3 hours, or until fully set.

We’re already imagining all the combinations our dogs would enjoy. If you decide to make these, let us know what ingredients you use—we’d love to see your creations! 🎾🐶

As always, supervise your dog during enrichment activities and choose ingredients that are appropriate for your individual dog.

🌊 One More Thing: Why Is This Dog Sniffing Underwater?

We couldn’t stop watching this.

According to the creator, dogs investigating underwater may be gathering chemical information dissolved in the water itself. Dogs have extraordinary scent-processing abilities, and videos like this are a fascinating reminder that they’re experiencing the world in ways we can barely imagine.

It’s oddly soothing to watch—and it also made us wonder whether this is exactly the kind of sensory experience that made Goose so determined to get into that pool.

If you’ve ever taken your dog swimming, have you noticed them dipping their noses below the surface or investigating underwater? Let us know.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

Happy Friday!!!

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: Building Recall in Adolescent Dogs

We love this video from @clickstartdogacademy on building recall with adolescent dogs in a novel environment. They take an adolescent golden retriever and an adult golden retriever to a rented sniffspot with plenty of space to sniff, explore, dig, and play — and their approach is a great example of smart antecedent arrangement in action.

Rather than asking for recalls right away, they give the dogs time to settle into the environment first. Once a space isn’t quite so novel, your reinforcers have a much better chance of competing with all that exciting stuff. The presence of the older dog — who has a solid recall — is also doing some quiet work in the antecedent picture. Dogs often follow other running dogs, so watching an experienced dog run to their person can make it more likely the younger dog will too, which means more opportunities to contact the reinforcer (treats!).

Recall is one of my absolute favorite things to teach. If you want to go deeper, we have a full guide in our Substack.

♨️ Life Goals: Be This Hot Tub Dog

Every once in a while, the internet introduces us to a dog who seems to have cracked the code on happiness.

Meet Ollie, a Jack Russell Terrier from San Diego whose favorite hobby appears to be soaking in a hot tub. And before you ask: yes, there are receipts. Ollie’s entire Instagram feed is essentially a celebration of his spa lifestyle.

How did this start? We have no idea. Maybe he followed his humans into the water one day and discovered that warm water plus bubbling jets equals perfection.

For other dogs, a hot tub would likely be a nightmare. This is a great reminder about how individual reinforcement is and that it doesn’t always come from us. While I cannot magically make a hot tub appear for my dogs, I am always thinking about ways to enrich their environments.

🐶 A Walking Game for Humans, Not Dogs

If you’ve been following us for a while, you know we’re always on the lookout for simple ways to reduce stress and be more present with our dogs.

This week we came across a post from @miriam_tinny about trying the viral TikTok “letter walk.” The concept is simple: as you walk, look for every letter of the alphabet in the world around you—on signs, tree branches, shadows, fences, cracks in the sidewalk, wherever your imagination takes you.

What we loved most wasn’t the activity itself, but Miriam’s honest reflection on how it changed her experience of the walk. She said she found herself covering far less ground and noticing way more.

This is one of the coolest things about being human. We can play these little games with ourselves and fundamentally shift our behavior and how we feel. This game is really just shifting contingencies on the walk and that can dramatically change the look and feel of the walk. I think it’s so cool that you can travel the same ground and orient to such different stimuli as a result of a simple mind game.

The comments were full of creative variations, but this one was our favorite:

“When I go for walks I look for cats in windows... there are so many delightful surprises and treasures in people’s apartments and windowsills and sometimes a happy warm curious cat.”

Whether you’re searching for letters, spotting neighborhood cats, or counting rabbits, there’s something refreshing about giving your brain a gentle scavenger hunt while your dog sniffs – especially if you want to shift how you are feeling or thinking on that walk.

Have you ever tried something like this on a walk? We’d love to hear your version.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: An Apple a Day

We love this idea for simple at-home dehydrated apple treats. The author @furever_healthy claims that the teeth will help your dog’s breath, gut and teeth. We’re eager to try these. If you make them, be sure to tag us to let us know what you and your dog think.

🌱 The Lawn Sign Debate Nobody Asked For

You’ve seen them: the little signs asking dogs not to pee on the grass.

This week, @thehonestvet shared a thoughtful carousel unpacking what these signs may be trying to communicate—and whether they’re actually accomplishing their intended goal.

As expected, the comment section quickly turned into a neighborhood ethics seminar.

One commenter pointed out that rabbits, squirrels, raccoons, deer, neighborhood cats, and countless other animals aren’t exactly known for respecting lawn signage.

I 100% am with the sentiment of wanting to make space for dogs to exist in our world, and I also just don’t think it’s actually that hard to keep dogs off of the few lawns that have these signs. What do I know though?

So we’re curious: when you see one of these signs, do you steer your dog elsewhere, or do you keep walking as usual?

Tell us where you land in the comments. 🍿

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

This week, Jess shared her mom's beautiful essay about the loss of their family dog, Humphrey. It's a deeply honest reflection on one of the hardest parts of loving a dog: knowing when quality of life matters more than holding on, and finding the courage to make that decision with compassion.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: Medication Isn't Giving Up

Jess here 👋. I read this post from veterinary behaviorist Dr. Julie Ashton (@lifeonfourlegsvet) and immediately wished I’d seen it years ago during my own journey with Stanley.

For a long time, I carried the belief that putting a dog on behavioral medication meant I had somehow failed him. This post is a powerful reminder that medication isn’t a shortcut. In many cases, it’s what allows learning and healing to happen in the first place.

Dr. Ashton shares five situations where medication should be part of the conversation:

• Your dog’s welfare is suffering.

• You don’t have a workable starting point for training.

• Triggers can’t realistically be avoided.

• Your dog’s reaction is significantly out of proportion to the trigger.

• Progress has stalled despite consistent effort.

As she writes:

“Medication doesn’t replace behavior modification. It can make behavior modification possible.”

Veterinary behaviorists aren’t trying to suppress behavior. They’re working to improve welfare and help dogs develop new emotional responses to the world around them.

That’s a message more dog guardians need to hear.

📺 TOC’s Take: What Would You Do If a Bear Did This in Front of You?

Imagine stopping during a bike ride to admire a gorgeous sunset and suddenly hearing heavy footsteps approaching.

That’s exactly what happened to cyclist Brendan Brady in Canada when a bear decided the quickest route across the river was a pedestrian suspension bridge. The result? A bridge-shaking crossing that looked like something straight out of a movie.

Animals are constantly evaluating their environment and finding the path of least resistance. That bridge is likely a lot easier to travel than the water (or walking to whatever land crossing might be farther up or downstream).

We also have to give Brendan credit. While most of us would probably be focused on finding an exit strategy, he somehow had the composure and physical ability to hold a phone steady to record the moment. His reaction at the end is worth the watch alone.

🐶 Community Corner: Paint Your Breath

Christie here 👋. I am literally obsessed with this simple exercise shared by @flow.and.createtherapy. As someone who has a history of anxiety and racing thoughts, I’m no stranger to breathing exercises. But what I love about this one is the incredible feedback. I haven’t tried this, but I imagine that seeing the lines on the paper would be a strong reinforcer for me and might even lead my breathing behavior to slow. The surprising part? Watching someone else do the exercise feels calming too.

If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or just looking for a creative mindfulness practice, give it a try. And if you do, tag us—we’d love to see your version.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: The Viral Cone Game

Sometimes the best enrichment ideas are also the simplest.

This viral game uses inexpensive soccer training cones* to create an easy scent and problem-solving activity for your dog. Hide treats beneath a few cones and let your dog investigate, search, and figure out where the rewards are hiding.

We love that it’s:

• Affordable

• Easy to set up

• Simple to store

• Adaptable for dogs of all ages

It’s also a great indoor activity for those sweltering summer days when it’s simply too hot for extended outdoor play.

If you give it a try, tag us—we’d love to see your dog’s spin on it.

🌍 One More Thing: Eleanor, the Duck Who Refuses to Be Put Down

Every once in a while, the internet introduces you to an animal you didn’t know you needed.

Meet Eleanor.

Eleanor isn’t just affectionate—she appears genuinely offended by the idea of being anywhere other than in Alissa Gore’s arms. Watching the two together sent us down a delightful rabbit hole of videos documenting their relationship.

According to Alissa, Eleanor began climbing onto her shoulder as a duckling and never really outgrew the habit. Not to ruin a cute moment, but you can also see the function of Eleanor’s behavior so clearly. When Alissa goes to put her down, if Eleanor flaps her wings, then Alissa brings her back against her body. This behavior may not result in this consequence every single time (my hunch is that sometimes Alissa does indeed need to do things without a duck attached to her), but it works often enough that the behavior persists under these conditions. When I think of snuggly animals, I’ll admit that ducks aren’t at the top of the list, but maybe they should be. 🦆❤️

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

This story began with a curly, red miniature poodle who stretched himself across my lap the first time we met. To say it was love at first sight would be an understatement.

We named him Humphrey.

Love at First Sight

He came to us from a nurse in San Diego who loved him dearly. Before she entrusted him to our family, she looked me in the eye and said, “I’m not just giving him to anyone. I really need to make sure he goes to someone who loves him a lot.”

She had nothing to worry about.

What followed was 16 years of a love story unlike any other.

Humphrey attached himself to me both literally and figuratively. If I left the house, he would wait by the window for my return. When I came home, he greeted me as though we’d been apart for years rather than hours.

Through Life's Hardest Chapters

The truth is that we needed each other.

Humphrey was there through some of the happiest and hardest chapters of my life. He was with me when I lost my parents. He was with me when my husband lost his parents. During those seasons of grief, Humphrey couldn’t offer advice or explanations. He simply curled up beside me and stayed.

His presence was its own language.

Over the years, there were vacations and business trips that forced us apart. We left him at kennels when we had no other choice, but I could never wait to get back to him. Humphrey wasn’t just my dog.

He was my heart.

For most of his life, Humphrey seemed ageless. Even as the years accumulated, he remained himself.

The Long Goodbye

Then, around 15, things began to change.

His eyes grew cloudy. His walks slowed. At 16, he lost his wag.

That was the moment that broke me.

Sometimes he would stand quietly facing a wall. Other times he would walk in circles. Yet he still ate. He still drank. He still wanted to be near us. We adapted our lives around his needs without hesitation.

We took him outside throughout the night.

We hand-fed him.

We pushed him in a stroller when walking became difficult.

We even took him to eight National Parks because we couldn’t imagine experiencing those adventures without him.

I would have sacrificed every night of sleep for the rest of my life if it meant keeping him comfortable.

Knowing It Was Time

The turning point came when Humphrey could no longer stand on his own.

A few weeks ago, he developed severe pancreatitis and kidney failure. We rushed him to the veterinarian, hoping for another miracle.

Instead, we were asked to consider the unthinkable.

We cried.

And cried.

And then I said goodbye.

In that moment, it felt as though a light inside me went out.

Walking away from Humphrey was one of the hardest things I have ever done. After a lifetime of devotion, I had to accept that love could no longer fix what age had taken away.

That’s the heartbreaking truth of loving a dog long enough.

I didn’t want to let go.

A Love That Doesn't Leave

Read more

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: Growling Is Information, Not Defiance

We loved this reminder from @drtiffanyruiz about the importance of listening when dogs are trying to communicate discomfort.

As she explains, dogs rarely go from relaxed and happy to biting “out of nowhere.” More often, they offer a series of signals that are easy for people to miss:

• Turning away

• Lip licking

• A stiff body

• Whale eye (when the whites of the eyes are visible)

• Avoidance

These behaviors are a dog’s way of saying, “I’m uncomfortable.” A growl is not bad behavior. It’s communication.When we punish a growl, we don’t eliminate the discomfort causing it. We simply teach the dog that warning us isn’t safe. The risk is that next time they may skip the warning altogether – escalating more quickly to behaviors that could be dangerous.

Sometimes we think a basic course in dog body language would be helpful for every dog guardian—and honestly, for anyone who wants to pet a dog or let their child interact with one.

The better we get at listening to dogs, the safer everyone becomes.

📺 TOC's Take: What Was This Dog Honking About?

This week we couldn’t resist sharing a video from Killarney, Ireland, featuring a dog enthusiastically honking a car horn over and over again before pausing to look outside as if waiting for a response.

We obviously have no clue, but it looks like this wasn’t this dog’s first time honking a horn. Assuming he doesn’t have road rage, how did he learn this behavior? Because guessing is fun, I’ll throw mine out. My hunch is that he was left in the car and jumped on the steering wheel – only to discover it made a sound. The sound itself may be enough of a reinforcer. The honking may also get certain reactions from people outside the car that reinforce the behavior. And if the dog honks long enough, it may even contact his person returning to the car.

Whatever the explanation, this dog deserves an A+ for commitment to the bit.

🐶 Community Corner: A Hospital Rooftop Garden That Changes Everything

This week we came across coverage of a remarkable project at King’s College Hospital in London: the opening of the United Kingdom’s first rooftop garden designed specifically for critical care patients.

Critical care units can be frightening, isolating places. The hospital’s goal was simple but powerful: give patients access to fresh air, sunlight, greenery, and a space that feels human.

As King’s College Hospital Charity explained:

“To reduce fear and aid recovery, we’ve reimagined what critical care can look and feel like.”

The response online was overwhelmingly positive, with many people reflecting on the importance of nature, sunlight, and outdoor spaces for both physical and mental health.

One commenter summed up a common reaction:

“The US healthcare system couldn’t be farther from this.”

We hope that one day they’re wrong. This feels like the kind of idea that deserves to spread and a beautiful reminder of how powerful changing the environment can be.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Build a Digging Sandbox

If your dog loves to dig, the solution isn’t always stopping the behavior. Sometimes it’s giving them an appropriate place to do it.

That’s why we loved this simple DIY sandbox idea.

Digging is a natural behavior for many dogs. It can provide mental stimulation, physical exercise, and a healthy outlet for behaviors that might otherwise be directed toward your flower beds.

This sandbox is inexpensive to create and can become a favorite enrichment activity for dogs who love getting their paws dirty.

Sometimes management isn’t about saying “no.” It’s about creating opportunities to say “yes.”

🌍 One More Thing: Watch Out for Blue-Green Algae This Summer

As temperatures rise across much of the United States, it’s a good time to revisit one of the most important warm-weather safety reminders for dog guardians: blue-green algae, also known as cyanobacteria.

Cyanobacteria is most commonly found in standing water such as ponds and lakes, and exposure can be deadly to dogs.

One of the challenges is that the bacteria itself isn’t always easy to identify. That’s why it’s important to learn the warning signs of potentially unsafe water and avoid letting dogs swim in or drink from water that looks suspicious.

The post we shared this week also includes guidance on what to do if exposure occurs and the symptoms to watch for afterward.

And while we’re on the subject of water safety, recent reporting has highlighted the spread of another concerning organism: Vibrio bacteria, which scientists say is appearing farther up the East Coast as water temperatures rise.

The takeaway? Summer adventures are wonderful. Just make sure you’re paying attention to what’s in the water before your dog jumps in.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: The “Decompress + Reconnect” Walk Pattern

This week we came across a video from dog trainer Amelia (@ameliathedogtrainer) demonstrating an exercise she does on nearly every walk.

In the video, Ameilia says that dogs pull on the leash because they are “overstimulated” and that this game helps dogs regulate their nervous systems. While this isn’t the language I tend to use (I’d rather talk about observable behavior and conditions since that is what we have to look at to make inferences about their nervous system anyway), I do think this pattern can be really helpful. Dogs pull for a great number of reasons, and having little moments to slow down and reconnect on a walk can be helpful to break up that pulling and rehearse some desired behavior (puts some recent reinforcement history behind the behaviors you want to see more of too). And these slower behaviors often come with “calmer” feelings, which can be helpful for a lot of dogs.

She calls the pattern “decompress reconnect.” First, she scatters treats on the ground for the dog to sniff out and forage. Then, once the dog finishes snuffling, she waits for them to voluntarily offer attention before tossing another treat and repeating the up down pattern game a few times before continuing the walk.

I also do this sometimes on trail walks if I think the dog I am with tends to get hyperfocused on the environment. It’s just a little moment to slow down and reconnect.

📺 TOC’s Take: Why Dogs Steal the Weirdest Things for Attention

Have you seen the viral video of Skye the golden retriever, who apparently starts every morning by grabbing something she “knows she can’t have” to get her humans out of bed?

I love stuff like this because dogs are so good at “telling on us” about what we do with their own behavior. It’s far less about “knowing what she can’t have” and more about knowing which items will reliably lead to her humans getting out of bed.

Jess’s dog Stanley prefers stealing tiny Tonie characters from her daughter’s collection whenever the humans are deep in conversation and he decides it’s time for dinner or a walk.

These behaviors are often seen as “naughty” but they’re really just brilliant communication!

And admittedly… sometimes it’s also hilarious

🐶 Community Corner: The Parenting Advice That Also Applies to Dogs

This week we came across a post from the parenting account @biglittlefeelings entitled “Hills I’ll Die On as a Therapist,” and we were struck by how many of the ideas parallel how we approach living with dogs.

One slide reads: “Fear might stop behavior in the moment, but it kills learning long-term.” Another says: “The goal isn’t obedience. It’s raising a human who can think, feel, and regulate.”

That could easily be a philosophy statement for modern dog training too.

Whether we’re raising children or living with dogs, so much of the process comes down to honoring the life in front of us, meeting learners where they are, giving them as much autonomy as possible, and reinforcing small successes instead of demanding perfection. Our behavior around our learners has such a huge impact on their life – human or canine.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Watermelon Popsicles

As temperatures climb, we are fully entering “make frozen treats for the dog” season.

These watermelon popsicles are adorable, ridiculously simple, and honestly look good enough for humans too. The little carrot-stick handles absolutely make the presentation.

If you try making them, tag us — we’d genuinely love to see your dogs enjoying them.

🌍 One More Thing: A Bear Break-In in Gatlinburg

Sometimes the internet gives you serious educational content. Other times it gives you a bear casually rummaging through the trunk of a car in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

We have so many questions.

Did the bear open the trunk itself, or was it already open? What was the person walking past the camera thinking? Is this just a completely normal Tuesday in Gatlinburg?

Either way, the bear seems extremely committed to the search.

Enjoy the show.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: Let Your Dog Sniff on Walks

We love seeing dog-centered ideas make their way into the mainstream. This week, an older clip resurfaced of Oprah interviewing canine cognition expert Alexandra Horowitz about why dogs need time to sniff freely on walks — and we immediately sent it to each other.

For years, we’ve talked about how sniffing is not a distraction from the walk. For many dogs, it is the walk.

Sniffing lowers stress, provides mental enrichment, and gives dogs agency in environments where humans control almost everything else. For reactive dogs, we’re often even bigger proponents of replacing long neighborhood walks with decompression outings where dogs can safely explore on a long line or in secure spaces like Sniffspots.

Also: tiny world moment. We both met Dr. Horowitz years ago at a book signing here in DC, and as a Barnard alum, Jess loves that Dr. Horowitz teaches there alongside our friend and longtime community member Professor Kaya Williams (@puppyjubilee).

📺 TOC’s Take: Viral Video of the Week

Is there anything cuter than Winston launching himself into the air like an excited little frog the second he hears the word “puppacino”?

Joyful behavior makes my heart sing, and so does over analyzing it – yay! The word “puppacino” had zero meaning for Winston until it got paired with the actual beverage. What I don’t know is if this hopping is something Winston already does in other situations where he is anticipating something awesome and easily moved to this new context or if the hopping originally showed up around the actual puppachino cup and then transferred to the word.

What is kind of hilarious is how tight the stimulus control is on the word “puppacino.” It’s literally as if his human trained him to jump on the word “boing” intentionally. It seems like Winston’s human enjoys this behavior (rightfully so!) since he has his dog practice it on the way to the store (it’s getting reinforced somehow!).

We also got a kick out of the fact that once Winston actually arrives at Starbucks and sees the puppacino, he immediately sits like a distinguished gentleman. Because even Winston understands that bouncing and whipped cream are not an ideal combination – or he learned that that was the fastest way to get the cup delivered to him!

🐶 Community Corner: When Did We Become So Afraid of Letting Dogs Be Dogs?

This week we came across a thought-provoking post from @spicydogsbehaviour reflecting on puppies, freedom, and leash culture after observing free-roaming dogs on the beaches of Sri Lanka.

One line really hit us:

“We genuinely believe we’re protecting dogs through physical control, and most of us never even stop to question it..”

Now this author lives in a place without leash laws, so the context is different than it is for those of us here in the US. But the author acknowledges that: “Sometimes management is necessary in the human world we created. But what I find fascinating is how rarely we ask ourselves what this constant control does to the development of autonomy, decision-making, confidence, and real-life coping skills.”

They go on to talk about how quickly we control more and more of a puppy’s life in the name of safety, but the author posits, “Many dogs never actually learn how to safely navigate the world, only how to exist under management.”

We’ll leave you with this thought provoking ending from the piece: “My point is not that leashes - or any other tools for that matter - are inherently bad, dangerous or abusive. Maybe the point is simply that we have stopped questioning them. We have normalised control so deeply that freedom itself now feels irresponsible. And yet, when you spend enough time observing dogs outside of our heavily managed pet culture, you start realising that many of the fears we hold about them were never truly theirs to begin with.”

Admittedly, it’s so much harder to imagine this in a country like the US where there are leash laws, but it’s always fascinating to observe dogs in places where they live so differently. I think reflecting on the way we wield the word safety is critical for us when we have so much power in a relationship. Curious how this lands for you all.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: The Enrichment Snake

If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, you already know we’ll never get tired of a good “kibble rolled in a towel” enrichment setup.

This week’s variation adds a little something extra: the enrichment snake.

Using a towel, kibble, and empty toilet paper rolls, this DIY turns everyday household items into a surprisingly engaging sniff-and-search activity for your dog (maybe even a little shredding). Cheap, easy, and genuinely enriching? That’s our favorite combination.

If you try it, tag us — we’d love to see your snake creations in action.

🌍 One More Thing: The Incredible Cuttlefish

We’ll leave you this week with an absolutely mesmerizing video of a cuttlefish changing colors as a diver approached near Manly, Australia.

According to National Geographic, cuttlefish are “masters of disguise,” capable of transforming themselves from vibrant displays into near invisibility on the ocean floor to avoid predators. As much as I love to overanalyze behavior, this is a moment where I’m just going to let it be. I am forever grateful that we get to live in a world filled with so much magic.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

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We Love Y'all,

— TOC

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: A Realistic ‘Reactive Dog Routine’

In this video from @taylorcezanne, she shares a very comprehensive daily plan for a reactive dog, and there are a lot of comments talking about how difficult this would be to execute if you worked out of the home. So let’s chat about it! Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits all daily plan for every dog – reactive or not – but here are some aspects of this plan that I think could be very supportive for many:

• The plan builds in time to practice management outside of the context in which it would be needed. This is wildly helpful for almost any dog!

• I like that the dog has needs met in ways other than just walks. For a lot of reactive dogs, walks can be really challenging. There are so many other ways to also meet needs – especially if you cannot drive to locations where walks would be relaxing for your dog.

• I like that there are intentional transition moments to help dogs relax.

• I love the emphasis on sleep. Dogs need to rest in order to cope with the world.

• Predictability can help dogs.

That being said, this schedule would not be feasible at all for me right now, and based on the comments, I know I am not alone. That doesn’t mean you’re doomed. If a super rigid schedule helps your dog (take data!!!), then go for it. But you can also support reactive dogs in a lot of other ways (collective exhale).

• Watch to see what your dog enjoys and add more of that to their days.

• It’s okay to focus on adding enrichment to their days without having to spend so much time actively training with them every day. Five minutes goes a long way. Heck, one minute can go a long way!

• You can create predictability with the cues in their environment while still having some flexibility in your days. With a child, there is no world in which I could have a rigid schedule, but I still focus on clear cues for my dogs so they understand when things are and are not available. Flexibility and predictability do not have to be mutually exclusive.

• You can help your dog relax by starting where they already relax. Attach those feelings and behaviors to cue(s) you can transfer.

• Rehearse relatively simple “wind down” routines to help transition moments.

Where do yall land on this?

📺 TOC’s Take: Viral Video of the Week

Did you see the video of the Golden Retriever who waits by the bedside table every night because a treat was left there once before bed?

A big part of me was trying to manifest a treat for that sweet dog, but I also think this is a great example of behavior. Behaviors can get attached to the broader context. The dog initially sat by that nightstand because there was a treat there. But now the nightstand (sans treat) is evoking the same behavior the treat did.

How often does this dog do this? Is it only at a certain time of day? Are there some other reinforcers for this behavior (attention?)? Absent any reinforcers for long enough, the behavior would eventually return to baseline (assume that would be basically non-existent) through a process called extinction. But if a treat randomly shows up there after a week of this, there’s a good chance the behavior becomes more persistent (aka it continues to show up even under extinction – no reinforcement – conditions).

The comments somehow made the post even better.

One person wrote:

“My dog found half of a burrito in a hedge while we were on our nightly walk and now we must always inspect the magical burrito hedge.”

Honestly? Relatable.

We want to hear yours: what random place, person, or object does your dog remain emotionally attached to forever?

🐶 Community Corner: On Showing Up Fully for What Can’t Last

This week we read Suleika Jaouad’s beautiful essay about her senior Chihuahua, Nonna Ramona — a foster dog who began having seizures almost immediately after arriving in her home.

Jaouad writes:

“Some things you have no choice but to endure. Caring for Nonna Ramona was different—it was a choice. A way to make a small creature’s life a little easier.”

The essay explores caregiving, illness, anticipatory grief, and the quiet courage of loving something fragile anyway. Throughout the piece, Jaouad wrestles with a question many dog guardians know intimately: Is loving deeply worth the heartbreak that eventually comes with it?

Her answer feels both devastating and hopeful:

“What I practice now is this: accepting that life is difficult, and moving toward the things I love anyway. I don’t want to be someone who turns away.”

Life with dogs is messy. Loving them means signing up for joy, inconvenience, grief, laughter, routines, chaos, and connection all at once. And yet most of us would choose it again without hesitation.

This piece stayed with us long after we finished reading it.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Veggies on a String

This week Rachel Fusaro shared a fun enrichment setup involving veggies and treats tied to a string and suspended between pieces of furniture for dogs to investigate, sniff, and forage from.

Recently, Christie decided to try something similar at home — except with treats hidden in Solo cups hanging from a string.

Let’s just say her dogs were... significantly less inspired than Rachel’s. 😂

And honestly, that’s part of what makes enrichment so interesting: you have to find what your dog loves.

If you try this with your dog, tag us — we’d genuinely love to see how it goes.

🌍 One More Thing: What If Your Dog Could Live Longer?

This week, we couldn’t stop thinking about The Atlantic’s interview with Celine Halioua, founder of Loyal, the biotech company developing a drug designed to extend dogs’ lifespans.

The premise is both fascinating and emotionally complicated.

The drug aims to improve insulin sensitivity and metabolic health in dogs, with the hope that slowing age-related decline in dogs could eventually help researchers better understand aging in humans too.

As Ross Andersen writes:

“For thousands of years, dogs have gone out ahead of humans as wilderness scouts… Now they’re entering another new frontier.”

The entire conversation raises difficult questions:

• Would you give your dog a drug designed to help them live longer?

• Does extending lifespan necessarily improve quality of life?

• And how do we feel about dogs helping pave the way for future human longevity treatments?

It’s one of those stories that feels more like sci-fi and sadly life seems to be trending that direction these days.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

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We Love Y'all,

— TOC

ICYMI this week: we shared Christie’s training journey playing around with Mari Valgma’s Movement Puzzles—something that dog parents say has helped their dogs become less reactive and more confident.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Take a look at our past articles to see what you’d get access to! Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: What To Do If Your Dog Eats Something Toxic

This week we came across a post from veterinarian @drlisalippman that’s worth bookmarking immediately.

Most dog parents know the usual “no” foods—grapes, chocolate, raisins. But if your dog does ingest something toxic, do you know how much time you actually have to act?

Dr. Lippman puts it bluntly: the biggest mistake isn’t panic—it’s waiting.

“By the time symptoms show up for most of these, you’ve already lost time you didn’t have.”

Her post breaks down exactly how long you have for different toxins—and what to do first. It’s the kind of information you don’t want to be Googling in a moment of stress.

📺 TOC’s Take: The Friendly Neighborhood Roomba

We’ve all heard the horror stories: dogs barking, chasing, or completely losing it over a Roomba.

Which is why this video stopped us in our tracks.

Merlin lies on his side while a Roomba bumps into him… repeatedly… attempting to clean around (and under) him. He barely reacts.

No flinch. No side-eye. Nothing.

So now we’re left wondering:
Is he unbothered… or is he enjoying it? What’s the difference?

He could very easily pick another resting spot that wouldn’t result in the Roomba tickling his tummy, but this is the spot he chose. Is this his go-to spot? Was he resting here before the Roomba was turned on?

Who knows!

We did appreciate the closing shot—another dog, Ellie, choosing perhaps the far wiser path: napping safely on the sofa.

🐶 Community Corner: The Distinct Punishment of Phone-Shaming

This week, we came across a Washington Post piece by Caitlin Gibson on a very modern parenting dilemma: being called out by your own child for being on your phone too much.

The article explores the tension many parents feel—trying to limit their kids’ screen time while struggling to model that behavior themselves.

Some of the most practical takeaways came from parents who’ve found small ways to set clearer boundaries:

• Explaining why you’re on your phone in the moment (“I’m ordering groceries” vs. endless scrolling)

• Using “do not disturb” to reduce the urge to constantly check notifications

• Creating designated times to check email

• Even leaving the phone at home for short errands

The question we keep coming back to: does a little kid-induced guilt actually change behavior? So much of our phone behaviors contact direct reinforcement on the phone, but there are certainly socially mediated contingencies in play too – seems kids are now a big part of that equation.

We’ve written before about the movement toward tin can phones… and honestly, we’re starting to see the appeal.

👉Read the article
👉See the carousel

🎨 DIY This For Your Dog: Easy Enrichment Prep

There’s something deeply satisfying about watching simple enrichment come together.

This prep—featuring lick mats and a @mywoof pupsicle—feels especially doable for busy weeks when you still want to give your dog something engaging.

Minimal effort, real payoff (winning combo!).

🌍 One More Thing: Meet Chonkers

We’ll leave you with “Chonkers,” a nearly 2,000-pound sea lion currently stealing the show at San Francisco’s Pier 39.

Chonkers is a Steller sea lion—a larger, less commonly seen species compared to the California sea lions that usually dominate the pier. Experts believe he swam roughly 30 miles from the Farallon Islands, slipping under the Golden Gate Bridge into the bay.

And now?

He’s thriving.

As one expert put it, he’s “working smarter, not harder”—choosing a spot with less competition and fewer predators. Look at that – environment influencing behavior!

At Pier 39, he’s effectively become what one harbor master called:

“King of the dock.”

👉Read the story
👉Watch Chonkers

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

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We Love Y'all,

— TOC

I have been looking for ways to add more enrichment to my dogs’ lives, and I wanted some options that give my dogs the ability to move more (as opposed to lying down and licking). Enter: Movement Puzzles. I know they aren’t marketed as “enrichment” (they are designed to help dogs “build confidence and stress resilience with fun movement exercises so that your dog can learn new skills faster and feel empowered in new or challenging situations”), but I think a lot of dogs would find moving and interacting with new objects (and getting treats!) enriching. Anyway, I am now officially in my Mari Valgma (@the.moving.canine) Movement Puzzle era (turns out I fell in love with doing them too!).

I thought it would be fun to share my experience with Movement Puzzles so far, share the step-by-step how-to of what I’ve done (what has worked, what hasn’t, and what I will try next), and invite you to try them with your dog. I have not taken Mari’s course (I’d like to, but mold taking my home and most of what I own means I have to, ya know, watch my spending lol), but I’d point you in that direction for the full framework. I am just having fun playing around with this!

What Are Movement Puzzles (and Why They Work)

At the heart of movement puzzles lies two bowls. The dog moves from one bowl to the other and back again. The dog initiates this movement rather than the handler prompting or cueing it.

Once this pattern is built, “obstacles” are added between the bowls. The dog continues to move from one bowl to the other but now practices controlling their body while moving and navigating objects. Mari has said that a lot of people who’ve done movement puzzles with their dogs have reported that their dogs seem less reactive and more confident. The puzzles give the dogs a space to practice behaving under conditions that otherwise might be challenging for them. I haven’t done them long enough to speak to this personally, but I could see how these movement puzzle experiences could support a dog in other situations.

Check out Mari’s post explaining what Movement Puzzles are and to see what you could work up to.

Step-By-Step: What I’ve Done to Teach My Dogs Movement Puzzles

Read more

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by conflicting dog training advice—or wondered why something should work but doesn’t—you’re in the right place.

This page is your shortcut to our most helpful Substack resources, organized by topic so you can quickly find what you need.

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📍 Table of Contents

• Training Foundations

• Markers & Reinforcement

• Recall (Start Here)

• Real-Life Training

• Kids & Dogs

• Games & Enrichment

• Cooperative Care

• Life With Your Dog

• Community & Interviews

• Viral Video Breakdowns

• Essays

🎓 Training Foundations

• The Slot Machine Myth: What Science Actually Says About Rewarding Your Dog
  Why inconsistent reinforcement might be working against you.

• Stop Ignoring Your Dog (Seriously)
  Rethinking one of the most common pieces of training advice.

• Should You Reward Mistakes?
  A more nuanced look at reinforcement.

• The Language of Learning: Behavior 101
  A simple framework for understanding behavior.

• The Cheat Code I Use in Dog Training
  Why environment matters more than you think.

• The Power of Training Where the Behavior Already Shows Up
  Make training easier and more effective.

• Why I Stopped Trying to “Change How My Dog Feels”
  A smarter approach to behavior.

• Dog Reactivity: Does It Ever Go Away—or Are We Just Managing It?

  A realistic look at what training can (and can’t) change.

• The Dog Training Game I Can’t Stop Playing (and Why It May Really Work)

  A step-by-step breakdown of how I’m using movement puzzles to enrich my dogs’ lives

🧠 Markers & Reinforcement

• What Is a Marker in Dog Training?

• Do You Need to “Charge the Clicker”?

• Office Hours: More on Markers

• Part One: Markers & Reinforcement Systems

• Part Two: Teaching Markers & Reinforcement

• Naturally Occurring Reinforcers

• Should You Always Reinforce Attention?

🐕 Recall

Start Here

• The Recall Guide

• There’s No Such Thing as Perfect Recall

• Why Dogs Come (or Don’t)

Build the Foundation

• Foundations

• Gathering Data

• Food Markers

• More on Reinforcement

Train & Apply

• Adding Your Recall Cue

• Using Recall in Real Life

• Building Engagement on Walks

• Turning Distractions Into Cues

Advanced

• Adding Distractions

• Food as a Controlled Distraction

• Toys for Recall

• Leash Handling Skills

• Other Recall Resources

🐶 Real-Life Training

• What to Do When Your Dog Hates Something

• Helping Your Dog with Vet Visits

• Could Your Dog Be in Pain?

• When Behavior Is Actually a Problem

• Training Games for Reactive Dogs

• “Check It Out” Game

  ---

👶 Kids & Dogs

• Kids and Dogs: What Actually Works

• 18 Games for Kids and Dogs

• What My Son’s High Chair Taught Me

  ---

🛠 Games & Enrichment

• Easter Egg Hunt Game

• Scavenger Hunt

• What to Train When You’re Stuck

• Chair Training Ideas

  ---

🧩 Cooperative Care

• How to Put a Hat on Your Dog

• Let Your Dog Control You

• Why “Take It” Matters

🏡 Life With Your Dog

• Before Your Move

• Build Optimism

• What Is a Good Life for a Dog?

• Who Does Your Dog Belong To?

  ---

💬 Community & Interviews

• Meet an American Who Followed Her Dream and Her Dog to London

• Meet Liz Williams

• Meet Heather Woodward

• Meet Noël Duan

• Meet Eryn Schultz

• Behind the Scenes: JW Dog Training App

• Integrating Dogs with a Partner

  ---

📱 Viral Video Breakdowns

• Take Five With These Viral Videos

• Take a Break With Viral Videos

• Treat Yourself With Viral Videos

  ---

✍️ Essays

• Convenient for Whom?

• The Ant on the Trail

• Loving a Dog Who Resource Guards

• The Bird, the Branch, and the Myth of Confidence

• The One Mistake I’ll Never Forget

• The Weeks I Lost My Home

• The Hardest Kind of Love

• The Case for Caring Anyway

• A Little More Free

• Changing Seasons

• What If We Didn’t Ask Anything of Our Dogs?

📌 Bookmark this page—you’ll want to come back to it.

ICYMI this week, Christie shared a thoughtful piece on dog reactivity—what training can (and can’t) change, why progress doesn’t always mean “cured,” and how to spot the difference between honest guidance and empty promises.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: Your Dog Didn’t Forget Their Recall

This week we want to share a post from @Predation_substitute_training about the impact of Spring on your dog’s recall. Simone Mueller explains that spring brings about far more stimulation in general – more wildlife scents, more critters moving, etc.

In the caption, she writes,

“...right now, the environment is full of things that are biologically relevant:

→ fresh wildlife scent

→ sudden movement

→ constant sensory input

Simone goes on to explain that one of the challenges is that your dog automatically contacts reinforcement when they chase or track a scent, which makes those behaviors more and more likely.

I think one of the biggest skills for the human end of recall is being able to recognize when conditions have shifted and recall is going to be a lot less likely. It’s a lot easier to make decisions about how to navigate walks and what to train when you are aware of behavior in context.

📺 TOC’s Take: Big George’s Dream Run

I don’t know what it is about videos of animals running free that always stop my in my tracks. There’s something so wild and pure about it.

Big George got a big ole run along a beach in Australia after he slipped his leash, and it seems he made the most of it. It’s a good reminder of how incredibly reinforcing movement can be for so many dogs.

If I could run like the wind, I am pretty sure I would want to do this too.

🐶 Community Corner: The $1,700 Dog Daycare Question

A recent piece from the San Francisco Chronicle highlights a growing trend: in some cities, dogs now outnumber kids—and luxury dog daycare is booming.

One facility charges around $1,700/month, offering:

• low dog-to-human ratios

• personalized attention

• a setup that mirrors human childcare

The bigger picture? Post-pandemic office returns, fewer kids, more disposable income—and a lot of guilt about leaving dogs home alone.

👉 Read the article
👉 Watch the video

Would you ever spend that much on daycare? Do you think it’s worth it?

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: The Paper Bag Game

We’re trying this one ASAP.

Take a few paper bags, add kibble or treats, crumple them up, and toss them into an open box. Let your dog forage and shred to their heart’s content.

To level it up:

• add paper towel or toilet paper rolls

• mix in toys

• vary textures and difficulty

Simple, cheap, and seemingly quite enriching.

🌍 One More Thing: The Curious Case of Missy and Shaggy

This week, a story out of Canada about a Husky named Missy who dug a hole in her yard to get to daycare and reunite with her best friend, Shaggy, caught our attention. According to her human, she usually bikes with her dog to daycare in the morning, but on that day, Missy wasn’t taken to daycare because she had a vet appointment. It appears that Missy knows the route on her own, so she took matters into her own hands.

Having a dog run away is scary, so we are really happy this story has a happy ending (and one that includes further reinforcing the fence!).

👉 Read the story

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

When people talk about reactivity, they usually mean “overreactions” (as Kay Laurence says) — because to react to things is simply to be alive.

It’s easier to think about this in terms of reactions — the observable behavior in context — rather than reactivity as some fixed trait (“reactions rather than reactivity” is something I’ve heard Kiki Yablon say). What are the specific behaviors your dog is performing, and what are the conditions surrounding them?

What progress in reactivity training actually looks like

Reactive behaviors can be really hard on dogs and their people, affecting both parties’ quality of life. With training, we can almost always make life easier for both.

I asked a few colleagues for their thoughts.

Kiki Yablon of Kiki Yablon Dog Training told me she often explains to clients that “a realistic goal is fewer reactions, lower intensity reactions, and faster recovery from reactions.“

Notice the goal is not “no overreactions ever again.”

Why there is no guaranteed endpoint

Juliana DeWillems of JW Dog Training put it this way: “There are so many factors, some of which are out of our control — like learning history, genetics, and in many cases, the environment we live in. Some dogs get to the point where they pretty easily choose other behaviors besides reactivity around their triggers. Some dogs will always need some support. The goal is to make life easier for both of them, but that might not mean eliminating reactivity completely.”

Training for reactivity won’t always look the same, but there are some fairly common features. At the start, a big part of the equation is avoiding the situations that evoke those reactions while you build skills — you don’t want your dog rehearsing those reactive behaviors. In contexts where your dog is comfortable and set up to succeed, you start that skill-building. Then the work becomes systematically transferring those skills (and emotions) into the old contexts where the overreactions used to happen.

What training actually looks like in practice

When dogs and their people have those skills, the dog may not even look reactive anymore. Ran Courant-Morgan of Dog Behavior Institute shared that they’ve always crossed the street to pass other dogs. Now when their dog Beacon sees another dog, she starts moving toward the other side of the street before Ran has even cued it. Is Beacon reactive to other dogs?

Read more

This week’s newsletter is all about environment—and how deeply connected it is to behavior. From a gas station trying to soften the sting of sky-high prices with live classical music… to dogs learning to “relax” in busy environments… to a 91-year-old so absorbed in a game she tuned out the world entirely—there’s a common thread:

Behavior doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

If you missed it, we published a piece this week asking a simple question: convenient for whom? It’s about the invisible tradeoffs we make when we prioritize ease over connection—and how that shows up in our relationships with our dogs.

👉 Read it here:

Tails of Connection's Substack

Convenient for Whom?

The Inconvenience Trap…

Read more

4 months ago · Tails of Connection

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

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🧠 Training Tip of the Week: A Cautionary Tale About Training Calm Behavior

We recently came across a post from @clickstartdogacademy featuring their service dog in training, Mouse, peacefully sleeping on a plane.

It’s easy to look at that and think: That’s the goal.

But the caption tells a more important story.

They caution against an approach they’ve been seeing more of on social media: tethering your dog until they eventually settle down. They explain that while this may lead to stillness in your dog, it’s flooding and can have some “nasty fallout.” They offer great alternatives to help your dog genuinely relax in novel environments:

1. Meet their needs first.

2. Build relaxation skills individually.

3. Pick your locations thoughtfully.

4. Take advantage of social learning.

5. Gradually build to more complex environments.

They elaborate on all of these in the post!

And while we can almost always help dogs relax in more environments, it’s also okay if those environments don’t include a brewery or cafe patio. Not all dogs are going to thrive there! Mouse is a rockstar at a young age!

📺 TOC’s Take: Can a String Quartet Change How We Feel?

With gas prices surging, one station in Quincy, Massachusetts tried something unusual: they hired a string quartet to play live music while customers filled up.

For gas station owner Harvey Kertzman, this has been a lifelong dream. He says that most people come to gas stations and have to spend a lot of money, and they don’t leave with a smile. He wanted to change that – change how they feel while they are filling up.

So to change how customers feel, he changed their environment. He gave them a full blown live concert with accomplished musicians while they filled up their tanks.

This is such a beautiful example of how powerful our behavior is. We are constantly creating the environment that everyone else is behaving in.

If we want to make the beings in our life feel good, what can we put in the environment that they would enjoy?

I can also tell you that if I was local, I’d be far more inclined to go to the gas station with the live music. We tend to do the behaviors that lead to more reinforcement – this is true for our dogs too! There are lots of options in the world – our job is to make doing the thing we want our dogs to do worth it for them.

Okay, have we squeezed enough goodness out of this gas station story for you?!

👉 Watch here:

🐶 Community Corner: In the Zone

A 91-year-old woman in Ohio missed her daily welfare check—not because something was wrong, but because she was completely absorbed in a game on her phone.

When police entered, they found her “alive, well, and unbothered”—locked in on beating her high score.

Gamers call it being in the zone.

This happens to be a bit of an extreme example, but it shows something super simple about life on this planet: we are always paying attention to some things and not others.

As much as your dogs love you, you are not the only thing they are paying attention to. There are so many other stimuli that can grab their attention.

So if your dog is acting like they cannot hear you, to be honest, there’s a chance they might not. And if they do, there’s also a chance that they chose to respond to some other stimuli in the environment instead.

Either way, that’s okay – it’s just information. If you need a dog to be able to respond to your cues under more conditions, you can systematically work on that.

As for the 91-year old gamer, we hope she got that high score!

👉 See the story:

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: The Snuffle Box Test

Christie just launched a new series where she tests the DIY enrichment ideas we share—because let’s be honest, some of them look easier than they are (and some of them fall flat with our dogs).

This one, though? Refreshingly simple (lol as long as I save up some TP rolls!).

Using a cardboard box and toilet paper rolls, you can create a DIY snuffle box that encourages your dog to forage and problem-solve.

We love this idea from @bindisbucketlist—not just because it’s low-effort, but because it taps into natural behaviors like sniffing and searching.

If you try it before we do, tag us. We want your dog’s official review. 🐾

👉 Watch here:

One More Thing: Who Gets to Decide What Matters?

We did a double-take when we spotted a PhD in olfactory ethics making waves in People Magazine. Dr. Ally Louks earned her doctorate in English Literature studying the politics of smell in modern literature — and apparently the internet had feelings about that, because she faced a wave of online backlash (from, as she notes, mostly American men) after tweeting about her degree. Their loss, because her work is fascinating.

Dr. Louks argues that almost everything we think we know about smell is wrong — myths perpetuated by everyone from Aristotle to Darwin to Kant. Two stood out to us given our focus on learning:

Smell preferences aren’t innate — they’re learned. Watch a toddler happily grab something disgusting off the floor with zero reaction, and you’ll see her point. Disgust isn’t hardwired; it’s taught. And that has real consequences, she says, because throughout history entire groups of people have been dismissed or dehumanized through the language of smell.

Humans aren’t bad smellers — we just think we are. Scientifically, we actually rank near the top of the animal kingdom, and can even rival dogs in roughly a third of tested aroma molecules. The limitation isn’t biological. It’s cultural.

Dr. Louks has a book coming in spring 2027, and we’ll be watching for it.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

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We Love Y'all,

— TOC

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience.” “If it’s convenient for you.” “No rush – just at your earliest convenience.” I’ve uttered those phrases more times than I can count – as if inconveniencing anyone is the worst thing you could do.

But is it?

We’ve Engineered Away the Friction

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, mostly because so much of my life has been engineered around my own convenience. I can order something from my couch and have it at my door the next day. I don’t have to know what I want to watch because Netflix will tell me. I asked Spotify to build me a playlist from a single song, and it did.

All of it designed to reduce the friction in my life – to save time and energy.

But then I look at my dogs.

My dogs are often inconvenient.

And I don’t think that’s a problem.

I actually think the problem might be when we expect them not to be.

The Myth We’ve Been Sold

We’ve long been sold the myth of individualism. And as a part of this myth, we’re taught to focus on our own success – our own happiness. It’s easy to start to think that your own preferences should always be prioritized and that your personal comfort is paramount.

But the truth is that we are all connected on this planet. We belong to each other. We are wired for connection, but connection — real connection — has never been frictionless.

Tending to our relationships and our community – including our dogs – is not always going to be convenient for us. It might require us to adjust our view of what’s good. It might require us to adjust how we live inside our homes in order to make another living being more comfortable. In doing so, our values and ways of operating might be challenged.

We might have to adjust.

Convenient for Whom?

I often think about how many of the expectations that the broader population has for dogs actually serve to make life with them more convenient for people: walk at our speed, be quiet, do exactly what I say.

On the other hand, we’re all existing in late stage capitalism and often doing our very best to keep our head above water. Is it really a bad thing to want life to feel a little easier?

Probably not.

But we are talking about a living being. And that matters.

The Tension I Sit With

Read more

ICYMI: This week Christie published “The Slot Machine Myth: What Science Actually Says About Rewarding Your Dog.” It unpacks why one of the most common pieces of dog training advice—to reinforce behaviors only sometimes in order to maintain them—may actually be working against you.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: What Happens When You Really Learn Your Dog’s Language

We talk a lot about the importance of learning to read your dog’s body language, and this week, we wanted to spotlight a powerful post from @jackandjilldogtraining that talks about all of the beauty that you unlock when you do.

In the post, Jill says:

“Your relationship becomes less about control and more about understanding.”

Our dogs learn so much in order to live in our human-centered world. One of the most impactful things we can do is learn how they communicate using their behavior. As Jill illustrates in this post, it’s a gift that kind of just keeps giving.

📺 TOC’s Take: The Internet’s Most Beautiful Reminder to Give Animals Space

This week’s video stopped us in our tracks.

A wildlife photographer spent weeks quietly observing a manatee mom and her calf—no interference, no chasing the shot. Just patience. The result: a breathtaking moment of the calf surfacing for air, with mom close behind.

I continue to be utterly in awe of the planet we live on. I hope that the people in power will start making decisions to honor the preciousness and value of the diversity of life on this planet.

🌱 Community Corner: Why Gardening Might Be the Mental Health Hack You’re Overlooking

If you’ve been here a while, you know Christie loves native plants 🌿(yay for supporting local ecosystems!).

So we loved seeing research backing something we have already experienced firsthand: being in nature helps.

According to research highlighted in The Washington Post, gardening supports nearly every major factor tied to brain health—movement, stress reduction, sleep, social connection, and mental engagement.

In other words: it’s a deeply supportive environment.

While they don’t use this language, it’s a reminder that we can change our conditions to change how we feel. And gardening and nature offer some pretty spectacular conditions. Here’s to hoping you and your dog get to enjoy a little extra time outside this weekend.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Turn Your Living Room Into an Agility Course

We’re switching it up this week.

Instead of a food DIY, we found a fun, low-lift idea: build your own agility course using everyday items (or dollar store finds).

Think: tunnels, jumps, weaving paths—nothing fancy required. You can pick low-impact activities if jumping isn’t the play for your dog’s body.

It’s enrichment, confidence-building, and honestly… a great way to burn energy without leaving the house (if it’s too hot outside like DC already).

If you try it, tag us—we really want to see what you come up with.

🐾 One Last Thing: The Real-Life Paw Patrol Is Even More Impressive Than the Show

In Jackson Hole, dogs are training for years to rescue people buried in avalanches. Their noses, their persistence when digging, their focus—it all becomes life-saving.

One cool example from the post:
A trainer buried himself underground 100 feet from the patrol stations during a drill. An avalanche rescue dog named Cache found and dug him out in under a minute.

Her reward?

A game of tug.

It seems like these dogs live very enriched lives while also potentially being the difference between life and death for somebody.

We will forever be in awe of what dogs are capable of.

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

It sounds logical. It’s everywhere. And it may actually be undermining your training.

So what does the science actually say about how to build and maintain behaviors? And why does the slot machine analogy fall apart under scrutiny? Let’s dig in.

Where the Slot Machine Analogy Breaks Down

You won’t catch me at a slot machine — or gambling at all, even with pretend money at a prom after-party. The whole thing feels like the opposite of fun to me (does this make me a bore?).

But when trainers invoke the slot machine to explain why you shouldn’t reinforce every correct instance of behavior once it’s learned, they’re drawing on a familiar image: the person who keeps pulling that slot machine lever for hours, convinced the next one will pay out.

Because at some point, it will. My understanding is that, legally, it has to.

The problem is, that image — and the story behind it — probably isn’t the best foundation for how we train our dogs. It’s missing a great deal of nuance.

A Quick Primer on Reinforcement Schedules

When somebody tells you to reward your dog like a slot machine (i.e. reward sometimes rather than every time), they are referring to a specific schedule of reinforcement.

Read more

ICYMI: This week Christie shared a deeper dive on why “just ignoring it” might actually be making your dog’s behavior worse.

If you’ve been loving what we’re building here, consider becoming a paid substack subscriber yourself! It’s just $8/month (less than your fancy coffee order) and helps keep this newsletter running. Plus, yes, we absolutely do a little happy dance every time someone new joins. 💃

And as always, we’re so grateful when you share this newsletter with fellow dog lovers.

Subscribe now

🧠 Training Tip of the Week: ‘Pain Trials Aren’t Just “Try Some Meds and See What Happens.”’

This week we’re spotlighting an incredibly useful post from Dr. Julie Ashton on pain trials in dogs—it’s definitely one worth reading.

There’s something about the word trial that makes it seem like it might just be throwing spaghetti at the wall. This post illuminates how much more thought goes into a well executed pain trial.

For a lot of people, a pain trial is a more financially accessible diagnostic tool than imaging, so it’s even more important to understand how they work. Vets and whoever else is on your team look at your individual dog and all of the information you bring them to determine what medications to trial. With my dog, Otis, we trialed an NSAID to start, and it made a difference, but not as much as when we also added a neuropathic agent. And I tracked data on his behavior throughout the process. Then we checked back in to determine next steps. And before any medication and every six months since, vets run labs to check his bloodwork.

📺 TOC’s Take: The Viral “Countdown Challenge” (And Your Ego)

That little head lean? Adorable.
The internet’s conclusion? “This dog clearly loves the man more.”

Girl, I got you. While that could be the case, it’s not the foregone conclusion that the clip makes it out to be. If you’ll allow me to poke some holes …

This is one of those moments where understanding a little behavior science might just save your feelings.

Dogs are behaving based on their learning and current conditions. While it’s very tempting to tell a grand story about who a dog loves more, it may not be that deep.

That “choice” might come down to:

• Who has historically reinforced the behavior (maybe this is a cute lean the dog usually does when sitting next to the man but not the woman; heck, the man might have even taught the dog this at one point)

• Subtle body language or timing differences

• Physical difference (yes, even something as simple as a more comfortable shoulder could play a role)

In other words: it might not be personal.

So if your dog “chooses” someone else in a video like this, don’t spiral. You may not actually be less loved—you might just be looking at learning history in action.

🐶 Community Corner: Would You Travel for Your Dog’s Medical Care?

This week, we’re digging into a growing trend: veterinary medical tourism.

According to a recent feature highlighted by New York Magazine, rising veterinary costs in the U.S. (up more than 60% since 2014) are pushing some pet owners to seek care abroad. In border states, that can mean traveling to Mexico for more affordable procedures.

However, the American Veterinary Medical Association notes that only one veterinary school in Mexico meets U.S. accreditation standards.

It raises complicated questions about access, cost, and quality of care—and we’re curious where you land.

We thought this comment from a vet on the post offered another important perspective:

“I promise that none of us veterinarians WANT to be giving estimates this high. I nearly barf every time I have to give an estimate. But corporations are buying alllllll the hospitals and it’s really hard to get a job at a hospital that isn’t owned by some sort of corporation now … I’m a specialist in critical care and went to school/training for TWELVE years to become a specialist. I can barely practice my specialty now because it’s too frigging expensive … We feel utterly helpless on a daily basis because of these prices. Having to look yourself in the mirror after you give cost estimates that you in no way dictate (all of this is out of our hands, I promise you), when all you want to do is help the innocent soul in front of you…”

Have you ever considered going outside the U.S. for veterinary treatment? Would you?

👉 Hit reply and tell us—we want to hear your experience and perspective.

🎨 DIY This for Your Dog: Enrichment Isn’t About “Keeping Them Busy”

I want to start by saying I love seeing people doing their best to offer enrichment for their dogs. This week, we are doing a slightly different DIY by sharing a post we saw with a little caveat.

This post shows someone putting a few treats in a wet towel, wrapping the towel up, and freezing it. The text on screen says it took the dog 50 minutes to finish this activity. 50 minutes to get a few treats seems like it might frustrate the hell out of a fair number of dogs.

That being said, it might be great fun for others!

The key with enrichment is to meet your dogs needs – to give them opportunities to practice species-typical behaviors. The enrichment’s effect should be seen in their behavior. It’s not “the longer I keep my dog busy, the better.” (Though I will acknowledge that you can do both at the same time, and sometimes you just need to get your dog doing something that is mutually agreeable.)

Harder ≠ better. Longer ≠ better.

I think it’s really important to ask questions about your own goals when you offer enrichment and then monitor your dog’s behavior – both during the activity and after – to see if it’s having it’s intended effect.

🌍 One More Thing: Faucet Grapes (We Are Not Okay)

Every once in a while, the internet delivers a product that absolutely no one asked for…

…and the comment section delivers exactly what you’d hope for.

This week’s entry: a “faucet grape” contraption designed to change your handwashing behavior.

We’ll let you discover the comments on your own—but let’s just say:
soap dispensers exist for a reason, y’all.

👉 Click at your own risk (and for a very good laugh)

Did You Know We Sell Training E-Courses?

They’re actually more about bonding with your dog and finding joy through learning than achieving perfection. Join us. 

• If you already have our e-courses and still want to support TOC’s future projects, you can always buy us a coffee.

• Do you like our newsletter?! Consider forwarding it to your friend so they can enjoy it too!

• Do you have suggestions for us? We can’t wait to hear from you! Email hello@tailsofconnection.com.

  *[Disclosure: This newsletter may contain affiliate links, meaning TOC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through our links, at no cost to you.]

We Love Y'all,

— TOC

“Just ignore your puppy’s biting.”

“Ignore your dog when they are barking.”

“Ignore your dog when they jump on you.”

This advice is a lot trickier than it sounds – and has the potential to do more harm than good.

What People Mean When They Say “Just Ignore It”

To be fair, you can trace this advice back to science, but the way the advice is often given doesn’t bring all of the nuance of that science with it. When people ignore their dogs, they’re usually trying to practice something called extinction, which is a procedure to decrease unwanted behavior by permanently removing the reinforcer that maintained the behavior.

If behavior continues to show up under certain conditions, it’s because something is reinforcing it. If that behavior no longer works to produce reinforcement (in the case of extinction), the dog will stop performing it (or really, the behavior will return to baseline levels).

Easy peasy, right?

Not so fast …!

The First Problem: Frustration

Imagine you are in an app on your phone and you tap some icon but nothing happens. You start tapping harder and faster. And you likely feel quite frustrated. It can be a deeply unpleasant experience when the environment and your learning history indicate that a reinforcer is available contingent on some behavior but that behavior doesn’t produce the reinforcer. If some behavior normally “works” and then suddenly doesn’t, it tends to be quite frustrating.

In fact, extinction comes with many of the same potential side effects as punishment, which means you could very likely see frustration-related behaviors (usually escalations) and even aggression emerge. There are even some people (I forgot whom) who think extinction should live on the same level as punishment in the LIMA (Lease Intrusive Minimally Aversive) hierarchy.

The Second Problem: The Extinction Burst

But the problems don’t end there. What did you do when the app wasn’t working? You did the same behavior – just MORE … BIGGER. This is called an extinction burst. It’s very common for a behavior to actually increase before it decreases during extinction. And while you may have been able to ignore the behavior at its lower levels, are you able to ignore the escalation?

What happens if you’ve had the world’s worst day and your head is killing you? What happens if the neighbor in your apartment building knocked on your door yesterday to ask you to keep your dog’s barking down? What if you have a guest over with a sleeping baby? At some point, you are likely not going to be able to ignore your dog. And when that happens, you will effectively teach your dog to bark more intensely and more persistently.

If you want to ignore a behavior to reduce it, you better be able to ignore it forever.

It Can Be a Long Haul

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