“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I have heard this phrase so many times that I think I underestimated how deeply human it is.

Because sometimes the struggle isn’t between knowing right and wrong. Sometimes, you know exactly what you should do. Your spirit understands it. Your mind understands it. You could probably give someone else a ten-minute speech explaining why they should do it.

But then it is your turn.

And suddenly, knowing the right thing and actually doing it feel like two completely different assignments.

I think there is something strangely humbling about realizing that what we desire is not always what we should choose.

We like to believe that once we know better, we will automatically do better. That clarity will make the decision easy. But what happens when you know what you should do and still don’t want to do it?

What happens when your mind has reached a conclusion that your heart is still arguing against?

That is where things get complicated.

It is easy to advise someone when you are standing outside their situation (mouth is good motors fr). You can see things more objectively. You can recognize the patterns. You can tell when they are holding on too tightly or compromising too much.

You can say, “You already know what you need to do.”

And you can genuinely mean it.

Until you find yourself in a similar position.

Suddenly, you understand why it was never that simple.

Because emotions change the weight of things.

There are memories attached. Time, effort, money, hope, prayer and emotional investment. You start thinking about everything you have already poured into it and wondering, Surely it cannot all be for nothing.

And sometimes, that thought keeps us holding on long after we have realised that holding on is no longer good for us.

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We also want to be understanding. And understanding is a beautiful thing. There is value in considering another person’s perspective and giving people grace.

But sometimes I wonder at what point understanding ends and self-abandonment begins.

How much can you accommodate before your own needs become an afterthought?

How do you know when you are being patient and when you are simply afraid to make a difficult decision?

I don’t think there are always easy answers.

Maybe that is why discernment is more than simply knowing what is right. Sometimes, discernment is knowing what is right and having the courage to accept that you may not like it.

I can desire something deeply and still recognise that it may not be what I should choose.

I can care about something and still know that I need to release it.

I can understand someone’s perspective and still maintain my boundaries.

And I can acknowledge everything I have invested without allowing that investment to determine what I do next.

To wrap this up, I think maybe this is what Apostle Paul was getting at when he said, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” is that in as much as we may know what we want to do, our flesh will always try to get the better of us. It will always lean towards what is comfortable, what is pleasurable, what feels good in the moment.

So what if the life hack is not just learning to deny the things we desire, but learning to find pleasure in the things we know we should do.

Maybe the goal is to make obedience feel less like deprivation and more like delight.

Look at me giving advice again.

Well, bye.

I think it’s ironic how we believe that our life is our own.

It all feels a bit too surface-level to me. I think it’s so much more than us.

I am of the school of thought that we’re not here for ourselves. I mean, you are reading this for me, and I wrote this for you. You are someone’s child, friend, niece, cousin and it’s a little comforting to know that our existence already meant something to someone else before it fully clicked to us.

Everyone is woven into the stories of others.

I write my date the same way Blossom used to write hers back in secondary school. I own a podcast because the very first podcast I listened to was The Fikemi Aderoju Podcast and it was so good that when she held a class, I knew I had to attend. I am studying Pharmacy because my mum and a random stranger suggested it to me on the same day, and I knew it couldn’t just be a coincidence.

Most of the things that have shaped the person I am today came with the input of someone else.

And sometimes, I wonder.

I wonder what would have happened if they didn’t do what they were meant to do; though I know God’s providence would have taken care of it anyway. Still, I ask questions like: Would I have been the President of my faculty if it wasn’t for that man? Would I have started podcasting if not for my Fiks?

These questions scare me a little.

Since this realization, I sometimes feel guilty when I’m not doing what I know I should be doing because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not even just for me.

When people say things like “destinies are inside of you,” it can sound dramatic, but it’s true. You never know who needs your presence, your laughter, or even your silence. You never know whose life you’re altering simply by doing what you’re meant to do.

I’m not saying you should neglect yourself or stop doing things for you. Not at all. I’m only saying that we should live with the consciousness that, in the end, our lives are not entirely ours.

Maybe that’s why certain people cross our paths at specific times.

Maybe that’s why some seasons feel less about achievement and more about service.

Maybe that’s why love, in all its forms, is such a central part of being alive.

I really hope you enjoyed reading this, and I hope you start to see that your life isn’t yours if you haven’t already.

Bye 💋

I’ve been having conversations with my friends recently, and anytime we talk, it’s usually very fulfilling. On one of those days, I was talking about a dream I had when I was younger. In the dream, I was an adult. I entered my office, and the name tag read Dr. Oluwatamilore. I woke up feeling so excited because at the time, I knew it was confirmation that I was going to be a medical doctor.

Fast forward to my fourth year, I randomly remembered the dream and I panicked. Ask why? I’m studying Pharmacy. I was so scared that I had deviated from the plan God had for me. I was even sad. Then I remembered that I’m studying Doctor of Pharmacy, and the professional title is Dr. I laughed. I laughed so hard, because I know God must have laughed too.

It was so soothing to realize that even though I thought I was being wise in handling my affairs, God had already made certain things happen to put me exactly where I ought to be. He even made that particular doctor who spent 13 years training come to speak to us in school on career day (I ran away the moment I heard she spent 13 years to become a medical doctor).

Very recently, I got a revelation, and I thought God was trying to tell me to do something. I was eager. I was willing, even though it was hard. But I thank God for His providence and the Holy Spirit. After two months, I can now clearly understand why I received that revelation. God wasn’t asking me to act. He was trying to show me an aspect of myself that was flawed. And I’m grateful that there are people who are close to God.

It reminded me of the story of Abraham, when God told him to sacrifice Isaac. God wanted to check the posture of Abraham’s heart and his obedience. He never intended for Isaac to be sacrificed at all.

My point? Always look again. With God, don’t assume the first interpretation is the final one. Be patient. Don’t rush into something simply because you believe it’s from God. Sometimes, you don’t have the full picture yet.

I’m not saying you should now disobey because Tamilore said you should be patient but I hope you get the gist. God never wants us to rush ahead of Him, and I pray that even when we feel tempted to do so, we find a lamb on the mountain.

I didn’t start with any apology and I know I don’t have manners when it comes to you. I hope 2025 was nice to you and if it wasn’t, I pray you always remember that there is no disadvantage to you in Christ.

Happy new year! Thank you for staying.❤️

This time, it’s quality content and not what's happening in my life. I mean, it is what's happening in my life but this one mad gan.

How many of you know that I am now a podcaster? If you don’t know, then you’re missing out like mad. Shey I’ve told you guys numerous times to follow me on instagram. Now, you’re hearing gist that have passed, it’s not news if it’s old. *side eye*

Today’s gist is even because of the podcast. I realized something last week and it was how consistent the Holy Spirit is. The guy dey try fr fr. Work rate is 100/10. I love how the powers in heaven just plan things, best script writers.

Now, have you ever had a thought or idea that keeps resurfacing in your mind? The thoughts can reoccur in days, weeks, months, even years and sometimes, you don’t even realize you keep getting the same ideas until later. I honestly think that this is a way of the Holy Spirit communicating something to you. I mean, if the thought is in line with God’s word and a means of spreading the good news, yes.

In 2023, I started this daily bible devotional thing on my Instagram. I was basically following this bible plan and every day, I’d post the verses I read that day and the lesson I learnt. I created a highlight for it sef. It should still be on my page. I did that for about three months and it was good. People were following it, school would get to me sometimes and I’d stop for a while, continue again.

I think the last time I did it was in April 2023. I can’t remember why I actually stopped at the time but I did. In July 2023, I also had this amazing idea of doing bible study with people but this time, with bible characters. I loved the idea so much and I was even very excited to start it. I only did Moses.

To be honest with you, I think one of the reasons that task ended abruptly was that I didn’t prepare properly and that brings me to the part where I say that even though these tasks/ideas were from the Holy Spirit, it was a bit challenging.

It is essential to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit. I found that I get the most amazing ideas in church. These ideas often come with a sense of peace and purpose that I almost want to take action immediately. However, depending on the Holy Spirit is more essential in all of these.

From the story narrated above, I constantly felt the urge to share the word of God with a group of people. I tried it twice and I didn’t do so well. Why?

• I didn’t prepare enough: I didn’t put enough effort as I should have, I was not disciplined enough to constantly study for the task I ventured into and it caused the task to go poorly.

• I was distracted: If you know me “in real life”, you’ll know that I always have something to do. If I don’t have anything to do, I’ll find work for myself and unfortunately, the work I might find might not even require my attention at the time. Procrastination had a fair share of the blame too.

• I lacked clarity: I had the idea but the steps were not clear yet. I didn’t know the ‘how’, I just had the ‘what’.

• I had a lackadaisical attitude to this work: I read my Bible anytime I felt like. If I was tired, I’ll not post anything and even though, I am a big preacher of taking breaks when needed, once your breaks are more than the times you’re actually working, please wake up.

• Another thing that can be a cause of struggle is fear and doubt.

In December 2023, I got the idea for Stories Unwrapped Podcast and I was so excited. I don’t think there are many podcasts that just discuss Bible stories and how we can apply lessons from this book to our lives now. I told myself I would start the podcast in 2024, on or before June was the goal.

I realized June was over on the last Sunday of June when they announced it in church and reality hit me hard. I felt sad that I failed again. I had not even started but somehow, I managed to fail already. A friend I mentioned it to in December texted me to ask about the podcast because he knew about the goal to launch it on or before June. He spoke to me and I realized it’s better late than never.

I designed every single template I’ll need, recorded drafts of episodes and studied these Bible stories because now, I knew what to do better. I knew what to do better because I already tried something.

It is very imperative to know that one idea can be expressed in many forms. The Holy Spirit may inspire you to start something; if you’re too lucky, everything will be given to you at once and if that’s not the case, you have the responsibility to find the path that will suit the carrying out of this task. What I’m basically saying is that:

• Experiment and adapt: Don’t be afraid to try different approaches to a single idea. If one method doesn’t work, try another. The key is to keep moving forward.

• Learn and grow: Each attempt provides valuable lessons. I learnt from posting daily lessons that it wasn’t something I could keep up with and this influenced my decision of putting out podcast episodes biweekly. Use these experiences to refine your approach and improve your execution.

• Be patient: Finding the right expression for a particular idea might take a while. Be patient, trust that you’ll find the best way to fulfill your purpose. You can always ask for help from the Holy Spirit at all times because He’s the one that brought the idea in the first place.

To bring this piece to a close, I want to say that you should always pray for guidance, break the idea into smaller, manageable tasks, seek support from friends or mentors and lastly, embrace imperfections.

Till next time,

Tamitoye.

CHECK MY PODCAST NOW PLEASEEEE!

Stories Unwrapped Podcast now has her first episode. Join the host as she talks about why she decided to start this podcast and what it’s all about.💚

It’s available on three different platforms, you can listen on any of the platforms  

• Spotify- 

• Apple Podcasts- 

• Jollof Radio- https://share.jollofradio.com/episode/sup-the-beginning

Don’t forget to share with a friend or a loved one and subscribe or follow on any of the platforms to get notified once a new episode is out.

I’m the latest “Consistency Queen” and I’m not taking my title for granted. I started a 30-day challenge on Instagram to post every day for 30 days. It was a food series and yesterday was the end.

I didn’t miss one single day. Not ONE! God is too good. Anytime I remember, I just give myself a warm hug mentally. Me sef dey try.

How are youuu?? A lot has actually happened this month and I’m just grateful for strength. The month started with tests and it was back to back. My election was this month as well and God just outdid himself.

From me running unopposed to getting the highest screening score to feeling so supported by my family and friends, He ATE. He took care of my worries and made me calm. Your girl is now the Public Relations Officer-Elect, PANS ABUAD CHAPTER.

Did I tell you guys that God answered our prayers?? I’m back on first class guys! I just don’t think it’s fair to not tell you guys after I’ve been begging you to pray for me. Help me thank God for his faithfulness.

My friends in final year are done with school and it was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Seeing people I came to school with leave and knowing I have two more years because I went to use my own hands to pick a degree that’s doing the most was so sad.

I caught myself many times regretting why I changed from Pharmacology to Pharmacy. It got to a point where I was always skipping their posts because I didn’t want to be reminded of the journey ahead of me.

I told God to make me feel at peace because I actually wanted to be able to rejoice with my friends. I’m glad I got better and on the day of sign out, I was just crying and I really hope my friends make it in life.

Talking about final year friends, why is life so funny?! I met some of the best people I’ve ever known when they were about to leave school. I was so pained but I’m also so grateful for the gift of loving them in the little time we had and knowing that they’re going to be in my life for a long long time is still very comforting.

I’m currently writing exams now and I have one more week to go. One more week till I’m in 500 level! That feels so good to say. It’s time to start suggesting asoebi colour for graduation (my grad is still in 2026). I can’t wait to be in my penultimate year and I think I’m really looking forward to clinical postings too.

I really want to hear from you. It’s been a whileeee. Please let me know how you’re doing in the comments! I can’t wait to get home and give you guys good content again.

P.S: if you haven’t seen my food series, watch it now o. Check @tamitoye on instagram!💕

MAY PHOTO DUMP

March was a very eventful month for me. I learned a lot, and my favorite thing this month was learning to love unconditionally. I realized it makes me feel so good that I have the ability to love someone even when I’m not happy with them.

I sometimes wonder how and why my mom loves my dad so much. She can be mad at him and still go to extra lengths to make sure he’s comfortable and safe. I used to think it was impossible for me to care about someone in that way.

My friends know that I don’t like talking about stuff that hurt me. For example, if someone did something that hurt me, I’d rather prefer to deal with it on my own than call the person’s attention to it, and this just makes my feelings brew.

This month, I’ve had a few misunderstandings with a couple of people who are so dear to me, and I’ve found that in those times, I still wanted to talk things out. I wanted them to be safe and know that I still love them. I wasn’t feeling shy about it. It didn’t feel like I was doing too much or anything. It felt right.

Realizing this has made me so happy. I don’t get to do “hard girl” again now. I love the people I love with their flaws, and it makes me feel good.

This whole unconditional love brings me back to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This verse is simple yet profound. My favorite thing there about love is that it keeps no account of wrongdoings and it doesn’t give up.

My church in school had a Mega Easter Concert thing for about three days. Two of the spoken word presentations were basically about how God loved us even when we were sinners; they mainly focused on addiction.

I remember struggling with a habit for years, and that’s when it dawned on me that God is love. Every single time I fell back after I thought I was making progress, I felt very unworthy, and trust God to just do something that reminds me that even in my struggling state, He loves me.

Now that I’m over it, it still amazes me how much God stuck by me. You know when someone keeps apologizing for something, and you can’t see changes, you get tired, right? God is the opposite. He sees us in our deepest darkest moments and decides to love us more than He has ever done.

I am to be a reflection of the Father, and what better way to reflect Him if not by showing love? I love loving the people I love unconditionally. It makes me happy to see their struggles and understand why they do what they do. It even makes me happier to know that I love them more because they showed me that side of them.

This wasn’t what I had in mind to write as I had nothing in my head. I just decided to start typing and see where it leads. However, take my words seriously and learn to love to a fault in the three quarters we have left. Love them like Christ does.

Your unconditional lover, Big Tams. 💗

I pray this year turns out to be very amazing for us by God’s grace. I am keeping my consistency game going this year. Thank you for all your kind words on my last post. You’re the reason I keep going and I don't take it for granted.

I remember writing that post and over-thinking if it was good enough to put out. I had to send a draft to a friend to help me check it. I was really shocked to see comments about how you enjoyed reading and how it was relatable. I just pushed the post out because I didn't want it in my drafts.

I have imposter syndrome. I doubt myself a lot. I downplay my achievements. I deflect compliments (learning to do better though). I worry that one day everyone will realize I am not all that. I work a lot to tell myself that I am all that. I set standards for myself to prove my worth to myself. I tend to attribute my success to luck or external factors. I fear the possibility of not meeting expectations and when I feel I won't be successful in a task, I don't bother doing it. Funnily enough, I always experience these feelings after being successful at a task.

I actually can't remember how I started to feel this way. Some people think it is pride and I just like hearing people say nice stuff about me. Growing up, I used to present a lot of stuff for my schools and I don't think if I was shy, I would have done it done multiple times.

I even find it hard to believe when people love my work because I already analysed it and I felt like it was not so good.

This year, I told myself, I will believe in myself. A friend of mine once said “no one is supposed to believe more in you than you”. The paradox of imposter syndrome lies in its prevalence among high-achieving individuals. I think the more successful one is, the more intense the feelings of ‘impostorism’ will be.

In my opinion, I think it's very tiring to constantly compare yourself to others. We tend to magnify their achievements and do the opposite to ours. Imposter syndrome thrives in environments where perfection is glorified.

How to break free from the shackles of imposter syndrome? Come along as I share some of the things I am trying to incorporate in my journey.

• You need to start believing what people have to say about your stuff. If they say it’s good, then it is. If they say it’s nice, then it is. Don’t overthink it. Don’t tell them that you don’t think it's good enough. A simple ‘thank you’ will suffice.

• Present your stuff with great confidence. I think it is safe to say, fake it till it becomes real. Fake that confidence and it will eventually feel real. When you talk about your stuff with great joy and confidence, people will take it that way because it is.

• Those things you felt could have made your amazing work better, add them to the next work you’re putting out. Don’t just beat yourself over something that could have been better, make the next ones better.

• Don’t try to compare yourself to people you should be learning from. Some people are there and well, we are where we are. And, that’s so okayyy! They didn’t get there by not wanting to put out anything because someone else was doing so much better. Learn from people you admire. Take notes from things you love about them and how it affects what they do. Incorporate some of their habits if you must. Just LEARN.

• Know that there are people who genuinely love you and what you do. I think you owe them consistency (I mean, look at me. 😙). You’re a part of what makes them happy and you’re doing what makes you happy. It’s literally a win-win.

I am wrapping up and I want you to know that authenticity > perfection. Embrace yourself, both flaws and strengths, to unlock one of the best versions of yourself.

Love you, till next time. ❤️

Hi bae, I have missed writing to youu. I’m sorry for being the most inconsistent person you know. Good news is that, this is the last time you’ll come across this inconsistent version of me. I'm standing on business in 2024.

My year was unpredictable. I’m sure God was laughing when he saw me making my list of goals for 2023. I would check my list from time to time and just laugh because God was like ‘dey play, my fans’. Funny thing is that, a lot of people had this experience. I saw a lot of reels talking about how this year didn't go as planned but they really liked how it turned out.

January was chill. I had exams and was working with a brand at the time. I spent time with my extended family in the village and life was really good. I started this year feeling so confident that I'd get to do everything on my list. My makeup business (Lush by Lore) was giving. I really wanted to be consistent with Bible study so I started to share my daily Bible study lessons on my Instagram story. My younger brother joined me in uni. I made a vision board too (at least, I got to experience most of the things on my vision board).

Exams ended in February and we went home because of elections. I was home for one month without any academic stress or pressure and life was bussing. I was gifted a LED light for my content creation. That's like one of the best things I got this year. I created makeup content while I was home and it kind of did well. I thought I was going to focus on being a beauty creator but I actually don’t know what happened.

I was going to run for a seat in the Student Representative Council this year but God had other plans. I literally told God that if he didn’t want me to run, my results shouldn’t be on first class (CGPA of 4.5 and above). My results came out that day and I wasn't even sad cause na me use my mouth pray. I understood the cue and moved on. Someone recommended me to the social director and that's how I was added to the ABUAD SRC External Social Committee 2022/2023. I was so grateful because I got to experience being a member of the Council and I realized I was not even so prepared to run for a seat.

March was so good because I thought I was going to be famous. Jokes on me though, cause how did I think I was going to do that with my inconsistency?? I did a movie review on ‘ENOCH: THE MOVIE’ and the numbers were coming in. I was so excited and I did like two more movie reviews. They brought in crowd, I think that was when I got to 2000 followers on Instagram. I thought I was going to be doing movie reviews now cause why not??

I hit 400 amazing subscribers here in March. The first set of PANS ABUAD executives were elected in April. I was selected to be a member of the PRO team. I was actually so excited cause these things were happening and I didn't even plan for it. April went by so fast. I got to create content for my department and it was so fulfilling.

May was a breeze through. I started second semester exams in May and I just really wanted to be done with 300 level. My exams went by fast, I think. I really can’t remember how May was, so I think it was okay.

Exams ended in June and I went home. I was done with my third year in uni. Home was really peaceful, I enjoyed the luxury of sleep without any academic stress and when I tell you, life was amazing?? Believe me!

I started my industrial training in July and that was the moment I realized I was not made for a 9-5 life. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I have to wake up early for the rest of my life, my GOD! I actually enjoyed the part where I got to learn things about my career path. I was also very shocked that we have to remember everything they taught in school. LOL!

I enjoyed the times where people would refer to me as “Doctor” or “Pharmacist”. It gaveeee! My family travelled for summer and I think that was the highlight of my year. I got to spend time with a friend and we became closer. I had Starbucks for the first time and it was nice. I went to a beach and wrote my name in the sand. I went to Santa Cruz Boardwalk and I won a small teddy bear thing from a game.

One surprising thing that happened was that I was so sad during this period. I didn't post on my social media and I felt very bad. I felt stagnant because I felt like I was behind. I later found peace in my break and started to enjoy life. I started a makeup series (which I have not finished) and it really made me happy.

I got back to Nigeria and I resumed work. Holiday sha ran fast and my birthday came. The week before my birthday was so emotional to me because I could feel God working in my life and it was really cute. I came across this verse twice in one day and I just claimed it as my verse for my 19th year (God speaks to me like that).

My period went missing for like three months and I was worried. I went to the hospital and I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). I had to do a scan and the scan showed like 20 eggs stuck in my fallopian tube. I remember leaving that hospital with mixed feelings.

Anytime I watch a movie and the main character is finding it hard to conceive, I feel very connected to them. I heard something that the devil always customizes attacks based on fears. That’s how fear started to creep in my mind. I just always spoke to myself that it will be over soon. After I have named my children?? LOL.

During the Hallelujah Challenge Festival, we were asked to dress like our miracle and I wore a pad. It felt funny but one thing, I really want to work on is my faith. I got my period in November and I just want to say God is good. I love God so much and I pray I just get to be faithful to Him.

My birthday was really amazing. My parents and siblings got me this very cute wig and my friends cleared my wish list. I did not expect it and I will be forever grateful to them. I had a sip and paint thing with my friends on my birthday and it was therapeutic to spend time with them like that.

School resumed in October and 400 level welcomed me with stress. From academic stress to collegial stress, I did not even have time to breath. I even lost weight, guy. In November, I was appointed as the Director of Creativity and Innovation, PANS ABUAD 23/24. I was really excited that I was getting recognized for my hard-work and I was ready to serve.

I was always making posters/flyers for my college and there were days where I would just want to sleep but someone would call me to do something. My makeup business was giving. Slots were usually taken before the event without advertising, my girls are so loyal. I started a new business, Moments With Lore, a polaroid photography business and God just pulled through for me.

Having to juggle being a pharmacy student that has endless reports to turn in, a makeup artist that has to deliver, a polaroid photographer that has to be at locations, the director of creativity and innovation that has a social media page to handle and designs to turn in, a member of the PRO and social committee, a protocol unit member, a friend, a content creator, a podcast co-host was really overwhelming and sometimes, I just wanted to disappear.

The Holy Spirit came through for me like crazy. He was my strength and I apologize for the times when I did stubborn head and tried to carry it all on my head fr. I got to host a live radio broadcast session on Antimicrobial Resistance. This opportunity made me so happy because I have always wanted to be the host of a radio session. I did really well and that's a core memory for me.

Another part of my year I really liked was the period I took a personality test. I recommend this to everyone. It was so good and I found it really therapeutic. I got to know more of my strengths and my weaknesses. My personality is San-Chol (a mix of Sanguine and Choleric).

I am home now. We had our mid-semester tests like three weeks ago and I was so done with the semester. I just wanted to be at home and have peace of mind. Do I have peace of mind now? LOL!

I think the most important lesson I picked up this year is that if you want something, get it at that point. You don't need to wait to get somewhere because if you do that, you will find another reason to wait and life goes on.

The Holy Spirit gave us a name for our podcast that will launch next year and I can not wait to learn more about podcasting so I will deliver well. I started to learn about Podcasting this month. I won a slot in The Fikemi Aderoju Podcast class and it was so goodddd. If there is another edition and you are interested, please join the class.

I am really glad that you are able to read this note. I appreciate you a lot and I want to hear about the highlights of your year in the comment section. I apologize again for not writing to you sooner, kindly forgive me. Cheers to seeing more of me next year. I love you a lot.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE, TAMINATOR!❤️

Hiiii, e ma kaaro oh! How are you? If you don’t understand Yoruba, I just said good morning, it’s you that will tell us why you’re reading in the evening.

We will soon divide the subscribers of this blog into two; the ones that are actual subscribers and the people that are just here🥲 because you people didn’t see me and you didn’t ask of me.

You have used cutlass to stab me but I’ll heal oh, I’ll be fine in the end. Just drop 5k for bandage and cotton wool.

*Criminally offensive side eye*

Let me gist you about how I’ve been cause I don’t know what to write but I missed writing to you. I wrote to you last in April and since then, I’ve been fighting for my life.

School always has a way of making me pause somethings and I like it sometimes but most times, it’s frustrating. Being someone with so many things to do, it’s not the best.

I’m a makeup artist, writer, content creator, graphic designer, christian creative, brand ambassador, church worker, an external member of the students representative council, a member of the PANS PRO team, YouTuber and a 400L Pharm. D student. Yess yess, clap for meeee! I just concluded my final exams for the session so we’re in 400L nowwww!🙈

I remember having a conversation with someone and I mentioned my age and the person screamed. The person said they thought I was like 20 something, that why am I stressing myself with so much at this point of my life, that I should just chill and enjoy my parents’ money now🤣

I’m juggling 11 things as small as I am and that last one (being a pharmacy student) can stop everything for a while and that was what happened. My first semester results came out and it was actually beautiful (5 As, 3 Bs and 1 C) but my CGPA didn’t rise oh so I was determined to get back on my game.

I took a break from putting out content on instagram sef and my dad also sent me a message, I’m cominggg, let me find it😂

My daddy said I should drop my social media life and I tried my best to reduce it significantly because me gan, I be social media. So, yeahh, that is basically where I’ve been.

Add me to your prayers. Tell God that you want me to pass EXCELLENTLY so I can be coming here every month to talk to you people oh.

During the break, I had a chat with a friend of mine and he was so sweet. We talked about ways to improve my content and he was just dropping treasures. He talked me into going back to YouTube and I think I’m finally ready to get back there.

I’m going to be putting out lifestyle content, beauty content and Christian faith based content. I can’t wait to show up on your screens again! Subscribe now and turn on post notifications so you'll be the first to know when I upload a video. You can also watch the older videos there so you’ll laugh (at me and because I’m funny).

This semester was the oga. It was so tough on me and I was just trying my besttt, lectures weren’t even up to two months and exams started. My school said they weren’t gonna change their calendar because we went home.

I actually wish we didn’t go home because the purpose of us going home sef, e didn’t achieve. I even packed based on the fact that school will extend the calendar but they said their calendar is not changing for anything oh.

My department didn’t even make it any better cause they didn’t even pity us 😭, back to back classes, practicals everyday of the week. My eyes saw shegeee! There was no time to be sad for long cause I had reports to write. It was just tough abeg.

We wrote exams for three weeks and we wrote 14 papers. Beni oh, four-teen. Other departments were writing 7, 8, my department said never. Another reason to not make the mistake of calling me without my title when I’m done with school.

I’m starting my industrial training soon and I just want you guys to pray for me. I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from everything.

You guys should just make my comments section encouraging and motivating. I want to come back here every-time and just smile cause I have my Taminators.

Anddd, I had a lirru glow up while I was gone. You can see for yourself on my instagram. I’m waiting to see you there, follow me oh! Don’t be stubborn 👀😂

I love you guys a lottt. Don’t forget to add me in your prayers. Might be back again this month. Byeeee🩷

Siri, play me Promises by Maverick City.

Prayers are one of the many ways we can talk to our maker and I even think it’s the easiest. At the time the above prayer was made, I was in SS2 or maybe SS1 and I didn’t know God so well. I only prayed sincerely when I needed something so bad and majority of the time, I got what I prayed for.

One thing I still struggle with is praying. Praying when I wake up is something I’m not used to so I forget sometimes. I try as much as possible to pray before I reach for my phone but I only remember after I’ve checked social media for 10 minutes. I’m sure God understands me😭

I’m building my prayer life next month and I honestly don’t know why I want to start next month. I feel like there’s a lot more to what I (you) can do but I (you) need to attain more strength and power in the place of prayer. I also want to tell my friends about it so we can be accountable to each other but I guess they’ll find out when they read this (hi girls).

One thing some believers don’t understand is that all prayers have answers. The answers might not just be what you want. Someone said prayers can have three answers and I agree. These answers are

• YES

• NO

• WAIT

I think everybody wants a YES to their prayers. I mean you want something and you get it, who doesn’t want that??

Getting a NO is something some believers can’t handle. “I thought if we ask anything in His name, He will do it” thoughts like these run through our minds when we don’t get our desired answers and it’s okay. It’s however important to know that God has the bigger picture and you’re seeing just a piece.

Human rejection is God’s protection. I have made it a habit to always be calm whenever I get a NO from God. He has my life planned out and He can never wish evil for me.

I have developed a strong trust in God that even when things don’t go my way, I can never be like “God, why?” I know my daddy got me.

I feel like a WAIT is the hardest and the most crucial. You don’t even get an answer here, it’s just a period of waiting. Your hope is still bright and you’re very optimistic.

However, a lot of people tend to lose hope in this period. They feel like they’ve waited enough and they just want an answer.

Guyy, Noah waited 130 years for the rain to come. Do you know how many people would have laughed at him? Even Jesus waited for 30 years before he began his ministry.

One thing to remember during this period is to know that you cannot follow God’s will by being wise on your own. An example is Sarah giving Hagar to Abraham. Remember there’s a way that seems wise to a man but the end is destruction. It might give you a solution but you’re definitely going to have more than a million problems ahead.

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A waiting period is also a grooming period. It’s a time for growth, a time for preparation so you don’t mess your blessings up. Whenever you find yourself in a waiting period, just relax and know that God wants to prove himself in your life.

Following God and fully surrendering to Him can be one of the easiest and hardest thing to do when you have faith in Him. The world is constantly trying to draw our focus away from God and we need a very strong foundation to not be shaken. This foundation can only be built in the secret place.

This is your reminder to start or continue praying. Have faith and trust in God blindly. Know that He will never fail you. Please, prayyyy! God is doing something with this generation and please don’t be left out. I can’t wait to write back to you and tell you about how my prayer life is going!

Please, leave a prayer tip for someone in the comments. I love you so much Taminator!💗

Hii love, I’ve missed you. I am sorry for not being available last month. My new year started this month 🤣.

I’m back now with full force and so much plans, I just hope you’re ready to match my energy.

I wrote my first semester exams in January and it lasted for three weeks. I saw all that was see-able. I felt overwhelmed, confident, uncertain and one feeling that was constant was peace.

If there’s one feeling I really like, it’s the feeling of peace. Being calm in the midst of a storm is one thing I love.

At the beginning of the year, I had this thought that my year was going to go so well. I was so sure like I had no doubt. It was like someone already showed me a short video of how the year was going to go and I was so certain.

Anytime I feel bothered, I just remember this assurance and bro, I feel at peace. Remembering God’s promises when you have faith in him alone is one of the top tier feelings in the world.

One thing I really lacked last year was faith. I didn’t have faith at the beginning and later, it turned to mixing faith with doubts which I think is worse than not even having faith at all.

Last year took an unexpected turn because things were actually so good and I think it helped to build my faith towards this year. An excerpt from a sermon I heard earlier this year also helped me build more faith in God.

I am trying to diversify my content on Instagram. I want to go into the beauty, skincare and lifestyle niche. I want to improve my content creation skills and work for more brands. Refer your girl please or hire me sef.

Bible study?? It has been great. Another thing I wasn’t so good at was consistency. I wasn’t consistent in anything last year and I’m speaking in faith by saying this year is not going to be like that.

I started reading my Bible everyday and I post summaries everyday. I use a plan made by Eniola Makinde, @christserrandgirl on Instagram.

The book for this month was James and it was a really nice read. I learnt about faith, endurance, listening properly, true wisdom, controlling my tongue and so many other things.

The 2023 presidential election was just concluded and the nation is anxious. There’s no doubt that the election was unfair and I think the worst part is that the government are not even trying to hide it. I just pray everyone finds peace and comfort in these times.

I’m thinking of starting a business and it’s looking good so far, I just hope I have the energy to continue it.

I’ve drafted out my content calendar for the month and I think I’ll pitch to some brands this month, include me in your prayers.

This is all for now, I love you so much. I want to hear about your plans for the year or what’s happening currently.

Until we meet again Taminator.💕

2022? This year gave. To think I started this blog overnight and I have you reading this post right now is something that I didn’t think I was capable of as at last year.

I’m currently on a road trip and I’ve been listening to music. The feeling is so liberating, wow.

I started this year with a lot of uncertainties. I had an instagram account with 10k+ followers but the engagements were terrible. I didn’t have a niche. I struggled to even find a thing I was good at.

I remember crossover night, I was telling God to let me find my thing this year. I didn’t even know who I was. It was so bad.

I resumed school in January and we had exams. We finished in February and I was supposed to go home for my dad’s birthday but my school didn’t grant me permission.

I was done. Mentally, emotionally, physically, everything-ally. I was so sad for that period of time and during my sadness was when this blog was birthed.

Melancholy was my first post and I talked about the sadness I felt that time and how I was able to feel better. That was March.

March was the beginning of the amazing things so I’m grateful I wasn’t allowed to go for the party. God works wonders, just allow yourself work with His plan.

Youth Alive happened in March. I remember going to the program. I left a part of me in that program and I came out with a refined part.

In April, I joined the protocol unit in Abuad Chapel. I officiated one time in church and was just praying that God should give me direction.

I heard something like what if my whole influencing thing was for God, like a Christian influencer. I had to start over. I decided to sell my instagram account with 10k+ followers. I actually made money from it so, a win is a win.

I started using my spam account and it took a while before I started posting Christian content on it. I told people about my plan and like 60% were not exactly in support of the idea. They felt like people will unfollow, engagements might be low and all but I have stubborn head and I heard it from my daddy so I’m doing it.

My first Christian post was Needle in the Haystack. I talked about how I was dealing/dealt with identity crisis and how I found myself in Christ. It was nice and people really liked it. 481 amazing people read it.

I finished six books of the Bible this year and hopefully, I’d be done with all the books of the Bible next year. Romans and Genesis were my favorites.

During the long holiday, I learnt makeup and I added MUA to my CV,🤣. I own a makeup business called Lush by Lore. I’m always available in school and home (when I’m at home) to make you look more beautiful than you do.

I have 13 posts (plus this one, 14) on this blog this year and I can’t even wait for the count next year! We’ve had amazing writers on this platform and me, the co-owner (cause na me and God dey run this thing) sef dey try.

One Boy’s Love Story was the most viewed post this year and I know you people like love. Some other top posts from this year are Melancholy, Nostalgia and Silver Lining.

Matthew 6:33 worked for me this year. I got to influence for brands and I also created contents for other brands. I made money, I learnt skills. I achieved most of my goals for this year.

This year felt like a dream and I’m glad I got to live it. I couldn’t have done this much without God. I met a lot of amazing people that impacted me positively. I mended broken bonds and life just seems so good.

To anyone whose year didn’t go as planned, I want you to always remember Jeremiah 29:11. The bigger picture is finished and you’ll soon get to see it.

To anyone who lost someone dear to them, I pray God brings you peace and comfort.

To those whose year was amazing, I’m so happy for you and I can’t wait to see you do greater things!

Shoutout to every single Taminator. I love you guys so much, thanks for making this little girl happy. Thank you for making me wake up to new subscriptions everyday, thank you for reposting, thank you for sharing. We go harder next year! I really pray that next year is going to be full of more amazing things.

My podcast might be launched next year and I can’t wait for it so watch this space! Let’s grow the Tamination together!❤️

Thank you 331 subscribers and have a lovely 2023!💕

A love story is a timeline buildup of how you met the one or the supposed one and for me I honestly think I haven’t gotten there. My love life has been a tornado, I’m not even exaggerating and all these people I meet, I leave pieces of me with them.

Whether you agree or not, we leave pieces of ourselves in people especially the wrong ones and with the right people you find pieces of yourself you never thought you had.

For me it’s like I’m never enough or pretty to score myself someone, one thing I do which I feel is wrong is projecting my insecurities to my relationship and it hurts, trust me.

Let me work you through the timeline of my encounters. I was 8 when I had my first crush. Ughhh! He was fine as hell, he was one class ahead of me but we became friends because our siblings were friends and we attended the same church. He made me laugh, smile, I was genuinely happy any day I met him.

I remember when my sister came home and she was like, his sister told her that he likes me, omo, I was smiling like a fool, remember that sound on Tik Tok that says DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT, whoever told me boy likes me because??? You know the saying that goes “as you grow, life gets you busy and things begin to change” yuppp. Things started getting real, he was in JSS1 heading to JSS2 while I was about entering JSS1, *sigh*.

Low key, I wanted to attend the same school with him so we could be together but little me and my parents wanted a different environment for me (now that I think of it, I will always put my career before anybody or anything at this point of my life. Will it change later? I don’t know, maybe) so I switched schools and that’s where it all started.

I remember when I will always get back from school and my sister will be like ‘ohhh, he asked of you and how your new school is and all that’. It made me warm knowing he hadn‘t forgotten me, later, he too switched churches and my sisters switched school and boom we had lost communication.

Don’t you dare say didn’t I have a phone, because I did but when I was finally allowed to join whatsapp I couldn’t ask anyone for his number, so we were completely out of touch for like 2 years till I finally came across him on my friends story and asked for his number, leemaooo y’all, who sent me message?

Apparently, I wasn’t on his level anymore neither did I look as pretty as the girls he talked to or posted, he took years to reply me, didn’t bat an eye at me so I went into the shadows and just like that we became strangers, someone I crushed so hard on for 5 years (say I’m a fool, but I’m a lover girl who loves hard).

He was my first genuine feeling and I think some of my insecurities started here also, constantly hating my body, the first piece I lost of myself. Last I heard, he’s an upcoming big shot in Hollywood (him and his family relocated abroad), proud of him not gonna lie.

I think for the longest time since him I never really crushed hard on anybody except MY NEYMAR(yenyenyen), maybe fancied a few but nothing deep.

Fast forward to when I entered uni, I felt was ready to start dating but trust me when I say nothing will ever prepare you for the heartbreak parts. In my first year, I wasn’t really paying attention to the boys because my grades got me worrying enough, I also had this guy friend that we started talking and getting closer, on the other side I met this fine boy y’all, apparently, he was a friend of my friend, and I would always have this funny sensation when I see him, I legit made Tammy stay back when we saw him walk in, it was funny, and the only thing he did was wave at me, after waiting back, seriously sir? Never forgetting the day we were beaten by rain just to see him, I’m sorry tammy, cryingggg.

One of my guy friends found out that I perharps have a liking to his friend and asked this boy if he felt same and the next thing this boy said ‘She’s not my type’ when I heard, I laughed and moved on, why? He wasn‘t wrong for anything he said, we all have our types and I don’t fit in, and that shouldn’t make him a bad person, but he also took a piece from me. His statement broke me silently and my insecurities doubled, I started thinking if I was pretty enough, he wouldn’t have made that statement. No matter how you put it, your words always have effects on people, irrespective of them saying it out or not.

Remember when I said earlier that I had a friend who I was getting close with, things started getting a bit serious. The only thing I will say from this is be sure before you get into anything, someone wise once said ‘it is important to take your time and make sure that it is a wise choice before making a commitment’.

There are indeed right people, wrong time but as the lover girl that I am, I believe in if it’s meant for you, it will find you, no matter how long it takes. Just to make it simple for you, he didn’t break me, he made me feel beautiful, I would wake up to the most adorable texts, he made the bare minimum look more than but I guess wrong timing is a bitch.

My year 2? ....crazyyyyyyyy as hellllll! All my encounters broke me, destroyed me, then went ahead to do more damage. One in particular that made me cry so much was this boy, I never took him as someone I would have been in a romantic situation with, I saw him like a friend. I was on my own ooo, he came and we started talking a lot, hanging out, texting and then boom, the inconsistency started.

One moment you act like you are interested, the next you act like you are not? Menttt…. I felt really bad because I started to genuinely like this person, imagine telling me you can’t hang and you will text me when you are free and the next day I see you with another babe, but hey, we are not dating, so I can’t complain. It was really toxic and the more he detached, I got attached until we both decided to end the talking stage.

Please, why is that the talking stage and situationship tend to hurt a lot more than a real relationship? Cause it messed me up ngl. According to William Shakespeare ‘expectation is the root of all heartache’, knowing that these talking stages or situationships are unofficial relationships characterized with unresolved or conflicting feelings and expectations confused with dating.

I will never see him as a bad or wicked person, I just felt we weren’t meant to be in a relationship and it made me realize that you are not meant to be in a relationship with everybody you have feelings for, some are better off as just friends. Humans tend to complicate things for themselves.

Don‘t ask how we would know, you will, we always will. The flags are there but we tend to challenge ourselves and the same reason you ignored and decided to go ahead, it is for that same reason you will break up. M. Sosa once said ‘one thing I learned a long time ago was never to ignore the red flags in the beginning or they’ll be the same reason in all ends’ and Amanda Mosher then said ‘if you ignore the red flags, embrace the heartache to come’.

Well, I’m at a place in my life right now where I feel at peace with myself (school still kicking my butt) decisions I have made now, I am going with it, let’s see how it goes. Life is a continual learning process, whatever you learn or take. I know there are some things I can’t and won’t accept again.

That’s why I said earlier that a love story is a buildup, this is my time line so far, from each of these encounters I have had, I have had my own take of lessons, things I know that I can’t or won’t take from someone again. Many others I have been opportuned to meet also but I can not say everything.

To everyone reading this, your actions should reflect your words (whether you like it or not, the little things are what keeps it going, so save his/her snap in chat, compliment them, send random assurance texts, call if busy, let them know, not just saying I like you but your actions don’t reflect it).

If you like that person, like them like you would want someone to do to you, loveee guysss, I really don‘t get why our generation act like it’s big thing to, it’s a beautiful feeling, so if you are not ready to give that to someone, don’t spoil the experience for them.

And lastly, don’t let the internet or this generation misguide you, not everything is materialistic (I’m not dismissing the fact it’s just as important too, I just feel you shouldn’t make it object of your priority in  your relationship), it’s a bonus, everything else that comes with this love is a bonus. So don’t pressure yourself. Everything will fall in if it’s right.

I don’t want to say if I’m in a relationship now or I’m not, I like it private for now. All I do know is when I finally get there, I will be so happy because all the heartbreaks and cries brought me here and it will be worth it and I’m not perfect myself, I need to also better myself because I can’t borrow half of who I am from someone else, I need to learn to love myself before anyone can because your relationships are a reflection of your securities, read that again!

Keeping myself anonymous for reasons known to myself, but if you have an idea of who I am, lucky youuu!

Grateful to tammy for giving me this opportunity to say my story, though it’s still being written and I’m not done yet, I will get there, hopefully I will share the timeline again in 10 years time?

Take care guys and don’t forget to live your best life.

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Waspoppin Taminator? You’re done reading One Girl’s Love Story. I really loved it and I am sure you did too!

We have one last post for the year and I’m eternally grateful for all 322 of you! Can’t wait to expand!💗

In my recent conversations, the dialogue has always ended with me saying “it’s the process, sis”. I said something along those lines one time during our weekly protocol unit meetings. Someone brought up an event that happened in my class earlier that week.

A lecturer gifted a student a sum of money to get a new phone. We were revising the class work he sent to us on our phones, so, he asked if everyone was following. He saw the girl without a phone and asked why her phone wasn’t with her. She said her phone was bad and that’s how he told her he was going to give her money to get a new one.

We were just talking about the matter then one member said something along the lines of “my own phone should spoil, let them give me money”. We all laughed and afterwards, I said “if your phone spoils, don’t cry oh. It’s the process, your money is coming.”

I don’t know if it’s just me but you know that moment of self-reflection? It hit me. It was like “Omg, Tamilore, did you just say that”? I knew I wasn’t capable of thinking of that wise statement in a matter of seconds. I’m not shading myself but I know myself.

Apparently, three words from that statement stuck with me. IT’S THE PROCESS.

I’m pretty sure if gold was given another option on how to be refined apart from the usual passing it through fire, it would pick the other option.

Well, the thing is that gold has to go through fire for it to be that beautiful and expensive. For all the value we give to gold, it has gone through equal pains. We as humans, especially Christians, are similar to gold in this aspect.

We have to go through tough times to see God’s work. How else are we going to experience the power of God? If everything was provided to us from start, I don’t think we would see the need for God.

In fact, I have to go through tough times to deliver blog posts to you. November was such a soft month and there was nothing I went through that could have been inspiring to someone going through tough times. I’ve gotten so used to talking about what I went through and how I was able to get past it, so if my month was soft and I didn’t go through anything that made me think deeply, I’d find it a bit hard to come up with something. That being said, I need to improve on my writing skills because I’m praying for soft life.😭😂

Anyways, one of my favorite verses in the Bible is still Jeremiah 29:11. I love how much clarity it gives.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It’s brief and very direct. I’ve made it a habit to remind myself of this verse anytime things are not going how I want. I tell myself that God knows best. A part of me (the whole of me,🥲) is impatient so I want to know the reason why it’s happening so I’ll finally calm down.

This reminds me of one thing I heard randomly and it was something along the lines of “if you have worked and prayed, leave it for God. Any other attempt after you’ve prayed and decided to leave it in God’s hand is you believing that God can’t help you and you’re capable of doing it yourself.” Bro, it slapped.

I was sad earlier today because they released test scores and my score was low. I scored 9.5 out of 20. Test that I read for, wow. I didn’t even know how to feel because I couldn’t remember how the test was but I didn’t think it was that bad.

During the period we were writing tests, I realized that the tests were not going the way they were supposed to go. The tests were behaving like weapons fashioned against me because how will I read and be writing tests like who didn’t read?

Holy Spirit, blow my book to where they are going to set or let them set what I read. Ahh!

I brushed the test sadness thing off for a while but it always came back. I told my mom about it when I called her and she said I should pray about it. I don’t even know the powers at work but any power trying to work against me, I just want to let you know that I’m blessed and God is on my side.

I was sha still feeling sad. I talked to my best friend, Oselumhen, about it and he said something to me. Surround yourself with people that know what they are doing, imagine telling someone about this and the only thing they can say is “omo, sorry oh”.

Oselumhen said this and he referred back to something I said the day before. I’m coming, make I find am.

And guess what? I heard it again, loud and clear. IT’S THE PROCESS! I asked and I’m receiving!

I am absolutely in love with how God paints the bigger picture and we’re seeing only the colors and wondering what the painting is going to look like.

Most times, we have that unbelief about things we have committed to God. I am so guilty of this and I feel like it’s a sin. I’m always praying for the strength and grace to totally believe that God will grant my desires that align with His will for me. After all, He can make everything out of nothing and He’s my daddy!

I’m going through a tough period right now because my department is doing its thing but I know the God that spoke in Jeremiah 29:11 is the same God in Hebrews 13:8 (Read your Bible, you say no😂👍).

I want you to know that it’s a process and you’ll see the bigger picture and finally make sense of how the brushes were moving.

I’ll play Wait On You by Elevation Worship and repeat “IT’S THE PROCESS” p.r.n (hi my fellow pharmacists) while reminding myself that tough times never last, only tough people do. I’ll be back with my testimony! And I can’t wait to hear yours!💗

P.S- p.r.n is an abbreviation used for prescription. It’s an instruction to take the prescription when needed or as often as necessary.

~💗 💗 💗 💗 💗 💗 💗~

Hiiii Taminator, how are you doing? How is life treating you? Life is challenging me but werey la fin wo werey, so, me sef go challenge life.

I wrote what you just read in 94 minutes. I got the idea and I got to work right away. It’s 3:56am now and I think it’s best I sleep now.

I changed the name of the blog from Tmlr.xx’s Notes to Tamitoye’s Notes. You don’t have to bite your tongue again. You can talk to me on Instagram and Twitter @tamitoye. For a faster response, include that you’re a Taminator in your text.

One Girl’s Love Story is the next post and our writer wants to stay anonymous! Get ready to be thrilled! I love you and I’ll see you again this month. 💕

‭‭

Hey baby girl, I really don’t see the need to ask how you’re doing becauseeee you’re doing life a little too well.

I meannn, I knew you’d be great but thissss? Wow. You’ve always been like this, outdoing yourself every time. I’m just really excited about how everything we were worried about turned out.

Are you still in love with God? Pfftttt, there’s definitely no way that would have changed. I’m glad you can now fluently speak in tongues and evangelize properly. It’s giving Woman of God and ouuu, that’s the aim!

I saw you on Times Square Billboard and bro, that picture was so cuteeee. God, look at youuuu! I really want to be you when I grow up.

Please, tell me your husband is a pastor😭😂😂. It seems to be all I’m hearing these days like people keep saying “You will marry a pastor oh…”. I’m thinking it’s a sign but I don’t want to dwell too much on the thought. I just really hope you got married to you know who and you are living the life we imagined.

I saw a picture of Gabriel. I screamed, guy. He’s ours?? Sorry, yours. Gabriel is such a cute boy and his smile, just wow. I’m sure Gabrielle will look like me but more beautiful, her dad’s genes will definitely do the upgrade. Give Gabriel a kiss for me, tell him I love him so much and whenever Gabrielle comes, please tell her she’s everything I wanted.

Your podcast is something I’ve incorporated in my morning routines. You finally got that British accent, go girllll. I love how you sound like you know what you’re doing unlike me right now. I featured on a podcast recently and I said “I think…” like 100 times. You know what? Listen to it here.

You noticed the growth abi?! I’ve been trying to tell myself to sound like I know what I’m doing but I think that’s something you figured out and I’m proud of you.

How’s everyone? I’m sure Pemisire would have grown into a young fine man. Fayo would have been a grown woman now and Semi should have figured out life by now!

How was Santorini?? I trust you killed it and slayed! How many countries have you been to?

I’m sure Mom and Dad are doing couple goals somewhere. Our enjoyment ministers.

Eh ehn, I heard we have thousands of subscribers to this blog. Omoooo, that’s hugeeeee. I am glad I’ve been your number one supporter right from day one so I can brag about all these things. Na me and you know wetin our eye don see.

I came to your city last week and I was seeing different businesses in your name. You have to drop tips for me sha because I’m wondering how you did all that. I’m here trying to balance school, influencing, writing, relationships and friendships, spiritual life and business, I’m dying but I’ll be fine.

I have to go now because I have to make you who you are now. Tomorrow is Sunday and yesss, it’s trad Sunday. I’ll attach cute jpegs so you can remember this moment. I have always rooted for you and don’t ever forget, I never stopped loving you.

Sending you the warmest hugs and of course, money!🥺😂

*********************

Hiii Taminator! How are you? How was November been?! Mine has been lovely and this might have been my favorite month of the year. I can’t wait for the blessings December is bringing and I pray you get your share!❤️

You just read a letter I wrote to my 28 year old self. If you enjoyed it, do well to like, leave a review and share to someone who would like this.

P.S~ this is a sign to write down your goals and actively work towards them. See you at the top!

See you next month on this same space!💕

How have you guys been?? I’ve resumed school and I’m seeing thingsss because why is my timetable saying classes are ending by 6:30 everyday?! I’ve sha decided to carry God with me because nobody will frustrate me and I’ll not frustrate anybody in Jesus name.

This month’s gist is about being a vessel. A vessel is a container used to hold something. From this angle, when we refer to a person as a vessel, it means the person has a particular purpose or quality.

Personally, I love when I listen to sermons or read christian related things and I learn something new. It’s even more amazing when I get the answer to a question I’ve been struggling with. It’s my own moment of that TikTok sound “Bi***ches dey this world mehn” because wow.

I listen to sermons at times and the way the preachers would be dissecting the Bible, I go just dey smileeee. I don’t wanna be a mechanic in the house of my father oh and watching “God’s Not Dead” really stirred up the urge of wanting God to use me for His marvelous works.

There are people in my life that also stir up this urge and a big example is Fikemi Aderoju. This babe is a big part of my Christian journey and I’ll eternally be grateful for her. She has a podcast and you would be blessed if you listennn. My favorite episode is my faith journey.

So, Engr. Fikemi (🎉) can’t hold a conversation for 10 minutes without putting Holy Spirit in it and honestly, I think it’s my favorite thing about her. It’s giving proud baby of God. And that’s one thing I’ve craved.

Last month during my birthday, I got a lot of messages from people saying I reflect God in things I do. They said they liked how I’m so comfortable talking about God. Those messages were the best I got, I won’t even lie, because it felt like I was becoming what I wanted to become.

What a vessel holds determines the usefulness of the vessel. A waste bin is a vessel used to hold garbage and a jewelry box is a vessel used to hold jewels. Yes, they are both vessels but if you were asked to pick one out of the two, we know what you’re going home with.

There's a vessel used to hold waste and another for holding valuable things. I have been praying to God to make me a vessel of honour unto His hands and brooo, I think the ship is sailing. Let me give you my testimonies from this program I went for recently, Tongues of Fire.

My immediate younger brother wrote the WASSCE earlier this year but his results were not released. He wrote NECO but the result was not good enough for the course he wanted to read. I went to this program without even remembering him at first but the Holy Spirit dropped it in my mind and I prayed for the result to be released and be good. The program was on Saturday and WAEC released his result on Sunday. Naa, I crieddd! It felt so good and it wasn't even my result. God proved Himself really!

I also prayed for my friend who had PCOS and due to that, she hasn’t seen her period in years. She texted me on Thursday that she just got her period and yes, I cried again. 😭 😂. I remember persuading her to start her medication and just have faith that the medication would serve its purpose and God did ittt.

All glory belongs to God and I’m happy He found me worthy enough to answer my intercessory prayers. Although, I was happier that God was using me as a channel for the blessings of this people.

The realization of that fact hit me. I finally got what I’ve been praying for. God said He blessed us so we can bless others so I’m sharing tips on how to be a vessel of honor!

Firstly, you have to want the position. You have to let God know that you’re willing to do His will (Emi rapper)😭😂😂. You need to pray for it and our daddy said we should ask and we will what?? RECEIVE!

Don’t think you’re not worthy of being chosen. Choose yourself. Make yourself available for God to pick you. God doesn’t even need the qualified. He qualifies who He calls! He’s everybody’s God and the Almighty for a reason. Just do the right things and prepare to be used.

Practice and constantly learn about God. As my dad would say “you can’t give what you don’t have”. You can’t be a vessel of blessing and not have blessings! Let God be your companion, let his spirit dwell in you, walk with him in every moment.

Have mentors too. Have people who you look up to in this aspect. In my school fellowship, there’s a guy that says when he wants to pray or do something, he picks someone who has done something similar and he observes their steps and he does similar things because if you do what they did, you’ll get what they got. In his words, “It’s not my turn that it will not work. I’m not wood. I’ll do what they did and I’ll get what they got”. If that’s not the energy, go and sleep.

When you eventually become a vessel of honour, please pour into the lives of others. I won’t be here today if the pastor that preached at Youth Alive that day decided not to accept God’s calling. You won’t be reading this if Fikemi didn’t share her Faith Journey. You won’t be feeling this urge in your spirit if I decided not to write this post. Always pour blessings into the lives of others because givers never lack!

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you (😭debates were so fun and stressful guys) that now is the time to be the best vessel that God owns. Be the reason Heaven rejoices today!

As usual, I love you guys so much and it’s really my biggest prayer that The Tamination grows stronger and bigger! Bye Taminator!💕

Hiii, it’s like 6 days to my birthday now and I think I might have pre-birthday depression. I really don’t feel hyped about my birthday this year but the irony is that this year has been my best year yet. At this time last year, I didn’t have half of what I have now and God has been so faithful. I didn’t even have you guys! I just hope this feeling leaves my body asap.

**oof**

Hii there Taminator. You have to truly forgive me because I think I’m the most inconsistent person out there. I promised 3 posts this last month and you only got 2. I am deeply sorry.

This post is supposed to be about my journey to 18 and I think we better start going.

As you read above, I wasn’t so excited for my birthday this year. I was stressed mentally and emotionally, even physically. I had a lot of things to do and my mind kept wandering around.

If you know me personally, you’d know I take my birthdays seriously. I was so excited about my birthday last year, I literally posted a countdown everyday since the beginning of September. The fact that I wasn't filled with the same excitement this year, wasn't doing it for me.It felt strange. I had never experienced it before. How was I supposed to deal with it?

The note above was written on the day I took my birthday pictures. That day was stressful for me. I ate around 8am and got to the photography studio by 4pm. I didn’t want to eat so I wouldn’t ruin the lipstick I had on. I bought food and I had to wait till I was done with the shoot which was about like 7pm. I was about to start eating in the car when my dad said I should wait till we get home. I honestly don’t know why but the fact that I was already stressed and I couldn’t still eat despite my ulcer pains just made me almost cry. Me and my best friend saw shege sha.

I knew I had to cry though, it’s my coping mechanism. I was just waiting for the “right” time.

I posted one of the transition videos I made on my status and my mom didn’t like the fact that I did. She told me to take it down and that was what did it for me.

You know that moment when you’re not in the best of mood and someone asks “are you okay?” Yeahhh, that moment was that moment. The tears ehn. Siri, play me Rush by Ayra Starr. I cried and I had to hold it in because I didn’t want to talk about what was wrong.

I got home, then I properly bawled my eyes out. In between sobs, I prayed in my heart. I prayed for God to take whatever I was feeling away from me. I’m a happy baby so me and that feeling were not aligning.

God really answers the prayers of a broken and contrite heart oh, because tell me why I woke up the next morning feeling so much better. After 21 days of feeling weird, I pray about it and it’s almost gone?? Crazyyy. (I’ve given you guys update now oh).

I felt better and I was kind of excited for my birthday now. That’s how the studio people sent my birthday pictures and I think it even made my mood a whole lot better than I even felt cause the beauty is getting WESSER!

Can you guys see what God created?? God is literally the greatest artist ever! Leonardo daVinci was learning bro.

My makeup artist also finished workkk! Tailor finish dress!! Me self, stylist, I come sabi!!

I micro bladed my brows on the 26th and you guyssss, it was painful af. I wish I had done it before I wrote “A woman and her beauty” on Guwor Warebi. This is another pain of beauty and it wasn’t funny. If you haven’t read that post, you can read it here.

My brows were fineeee and I got a lot of compliments. They’re currently healing and I can’t wait to see how they turn out.

Anywayssss, the night to my birthday was nice because everybody was calling me birthday girl and I felt special.

My mom was the first person to wish me happy birthday and she prayed for me. I cried when she started praying in Yoruba cause I felt it deeply. I got a lot of messages from people. Even my friends in other countries wished me by exactly 12am. A lot of Taminators also wished meee. I think the community name for Taminators is ***drumroll*** TAMINATION!🥰

I picked up my cake and got ready for my outing. I went to see a movie with my friends and we really had a nice time. My friend’s uncle surprised me and brought me cake and “panranran”. It really made my day frrrrrr. I got gifts too and moneyyy. My birthday sha gave what I wanted it to give.

I read Psalms 23 on my birthday and it hit me like it was the first time I came across it. It gave me that confirmation of how God is going to provide for me in ways that I can’t even imagine. It reminded me that his plans for me are not of evil but good.

18 feels like the year where I have to step up my game in every aspect of my life. I need to work harder. I need to stop being lazy. I need to be more goal oriented.

I need to change a lot of things in this new year and I want you guys to please help me by praying for strength!

I want to be more consistent for real and I pray it works out. Cheers to this new year and trust me, it’s really going to be amazing for each and everyone of us!

Cheers to a new beginning.💕

P.S~ you can watch how my birthday went here.

Eh ehn, incase you’re wondering what Taminator is, I put up a poll on my Instagram story where I asked what y’all would love for me to refer to you as and majority picked Taminator. So, if you’re reading this rn, you’re a Taminator.🤭

~ Our Movie Review ~

Despite the fact that God’s Not Dead is an old American Christian drama, it gave all it was supposed to give. I mean it was released in 2014 and I totally rate it an 8/10.

The movie is about a college student whose faith is challenged by his Philosophy lecturer who happens to be an atheist. The lecturer believed that God is a myth.

This movie starts with showing its main characters. It is a university setting and the main main (if there’s something like that) character or the protagonist in this movie is Josh Wheaton.

P.S~ SPOILERS ARE INCLUDED!

First of all, Josh is a fine boyyy. I was just thinking “wow”. His hair, skin, charisma»ughhh. He’s older now but he’s still a fine mannn.

What’s the thing about Philosophers and not believing God exists?? My Philosophy lecturer in my first year of uni also said he doesn’t believe in God. Is it part of the course? I even feel it’s easier to acknowledge the fact that God exists than to deny.

Anddd, even if you don’t believe God exists, why are you trying to impose it on people?? Naa, literally telling students to write “God is dead” on paper? Wahaleaux!

I particularly loved Josh’s bravery. I wanttt. I might have just written it for the sake of the class and said “God forbid” in my mind. Also, if you try that thing with a Nigerian lecturer, lmao. Except the lecturer dies like Professor Radisson.

Charity truly begins at home because why was Professor Radisson so rude to his girlfriend?! Could never be me and my girls. We won’t even get unequally yoked with an unbeliever in the first place. I don’t even see a reason why a Christian would be with someone that doesn’t believe in God. What’s the center of the relationship, pleaseee?!

I honestly don’t know if I should blame Kara (Josh’s girlfriend). Relationships are quite complicated and speaking from what she said, she said she’s in that college because of how she wanted their future to be and all. She probably felt frustrated because she felt Josh was about to ruin her plan. But then again, she isn’t on the same spiritual level as Josh was and sadly, he couldn’t make her match.

Okayyyy, can we move to the Muslim girl who converted to Christianity?? Ayisha»

Firstly, she’s a pretty lady! And I honestly felt that they could have added her faith story or something. Well, her father did what 80% of parents would do if their children converted religions. He beat her and threw her out of the house. I don’t think my dad would do anything less if I want to be a Muslim.😭😂

I loved her determination. Despite all of that, she still stood with Christ and I was behind my screen shouting “yesss girlll”.

Pastor Dave and his friend. Pastor Dave was acting suspicious at the beginning. Anytime his friend said “God is good”, he was always reluctant to say “all the time”. And their car not working?? I thought it was because of his lack of faith. But I guess God was really just delaying them because of Professor Raddison.

I’m such a big fan of knowing the reason why things happen so that scene was my best scene.

What is wrong with Amy’s boyfriend?? How can someone tell you they have cancer and you tell them that??

Amy: I think I have cancer.

Marc: *silence* *squeezes face*

Amy: Did you hear me?

Marc: This couldn’t wait till tomorrow?

Ayyyy, Jesus!! I’ll just enter ground. I won’t even tell my enemy that. I get that the relationship wasn’t exactly real but ahhh. No no no. Men will show you pepper (just joking abeg, but not really, Lmaoo🤬)

I loved the part where Marc’s mother said that the devil gives you things you want so you could be distracted from God. It hit…

I also loved the part where Amy went to the concert and The Newboys prayed with her. Love to seee ittttt.

Professor Radisson’s death pained me. I really wanted to see him talk to Josh or his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, I was watching this movie and screaming “God, use me for your worksss”. I just want to be a vessel of honor unto God. Like properly doing his will and doing his work. Fighting and defending him, yesss please. Tiktok, play me “bi***es dey this world”.

Last last, the movie was really nice and educative. It showed the fact that God will protect whoever is doing his work. It also highlighted the fact that God’s grace is sufficient because Professsor Radisson got to say his last prayers. It also proves that God is so intentional, I mean look at what he did by delaying Pastor Dave.

I’ll recommend this movie to anyone wanting to grow their faith in Christ. Just always remember that God loves you and God is NOT dead. He’s alive and He’s in you!💕

We have one more post to go this month, Taminator. See you soon! I love you.

As sweet as all these experiences are, sometimes love hurts. As I learnt from someone recently, love hurts when it's not reciprocated with the same energy that it was given. Love hurts when you don't mean as much as you thought to the person you love. It burns when people have to hide and act like they care even though they don't. Loves hurts when it can't withstand a few thousand kilometers in distance or when you let a thousand and one unsaid words dent your friendship.

So what exactly is love, reader ? Love is the family that you're tied to and related to by something deeper than blood and as shallow as marriage.

Love is when someone looks you in the eyes and says to you despite your flaws and imperfections that “you are more than I could possibly ask for”.

My name is Wisdom and this is my love story.
 

I’ve been home since last month and I have been doing okay. I started makeup classes! I’ll start painting your faces one by one or I’ll start with mine since I’m a clown.😭😭😭

So basically, today we’re going on a trip down the memory lane. My memory lane. Ever since I got home, I’ve been having flashbacks from my childhood events. Ironically, I can’t even remember most of it but I just have these flashbacks and it’s a nice feeling.

I’d say the earliest memory I have of myself is my dad carrying me on his shoulders and I could bet you I was feeling like the biggest girl in the whole wide world. My dad was, still is, one person that makes me feel so special. I’m grateful for him tbh. I remember when he read my blog post and he told me he was proud of me. You say?! I was on cloud nine actuallyyy. So shoutout to you, Mr Gabriel (my husband).🤣

I have another memory of me dressing up in my sky blue suit and imitating my father. I was trying to talk like him whenever he was speaking to his colleagues and I remember everybody laughing. I think I was a funny kid.🤷🏻‍♀️

Thennn, there’s this one where armed robbers came to our house. Okayy, I remember this one vividly!! My mother came back from market oh, I think she got us clothes and all. Nylons were scattered around the living room so she told my brother and I to pick them. I was like 6 or going to 6 and my brother was close to 4 or already 4. That’s how we went out oh, like outside the door oh, we saw people with guns and we were so excited. We ran inside and we were like “mommy, we saw soldiers!”. I sha know the next thing I heard was “everybody down”. Enipe? You mean you people are not soldiers?? Wow. All these guys made us leave our amala. They took us to the room and they were scattering everywhere looking for whatever they could take. They opened my wardrobe and these guys had the auDaCIty to fling my pack of Parago, 🤬. I sha jumped from where I was shaking to catch my Parago! And now that I think of it, Tamilore, wow.

I think I was 5 when my mom gave birth to a baby girl. Emi big sister? I’ve written like one thousand names for this babe. That’s how they rushed baby to hospital and baby didn’t come back again. I added 1+1 and I asked and the response wasn’t exactly saying anything. Everybody’s mood changed and I knew. I was sad and confused tbh. I think that was one of my first experience of sadness.

There’s this memory that pisses me off. In my primary school, I was supposed to be head girl. That’s how all these guys called me out on assembly and said that I’m supposed to be head girl but I can’t be the head girl because I had a small stature and people won’t listen to me. Brooo, I don’t even know what pissed me off more, the fact that they were stupid enough to say it out loud on the assembly ground or the reason they were giving. They gave it to one of my friends who had a bigger stature. I remember telling my mom the story and she was so pissed but she said she doesn’t really care about the whole thing. I think that was also one of the reasons I didn’t start secondary school there. I won best graduating student though so it made up. 💅🏼

I remember the day I was supposed to start school when we moved to Benin and I went to the school to write this entrance exam. That’s how they gave me questions and I started crying. You want to know why I was crying, yeah?? Well, the questions were hard so 7 year old Tamilore just started crying. I’m sure this 17 year old version of me would probably do the same if I was in her shoes.😭😂

I remember when my crush in primary school stepped on my finger and a part of the skin on it peeled off. It hurt so bad that I can almost feel the pain while writing this. He was playing with my biro, trying to use it as ball. I wanted to pick my pen because he was pissing me tf out. Then this idiot (we’re friends now so I’m sorry if you’re reading this, but you’re still a fool, 🤣) stepped on me with that hard school shoe. My hand was bleeding. I went to sick bay and that’s how this nurse poured iodine on it. O. M. G. Humans are wicked!

I saw my photo album somewhere around last three weeks. It was from my 10th birthday. Looking at it, I just felt very happy. I realized that 2014 was actually 8 years ago. And living this life seems like a short movie to me but it’s actually a series (I think I’m bad at being a motivational speaker).

Basically, I’m trying to say that we grow daily, we move past things daily, infact every second and most times, we don’t realize it. We mostly realize change after a period of time and I guess that’s okay. Being at home and remembering random moments from my childhood just made me happy and grateful.

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

~Nelson Mandela

It may feel like you’re stuck in life or you’re not really seeing the difference you’re making in an aspect of your life right now. I disagree though. Like, if you’re actively working towards making a difference and God being the centre of the situation, change is happening! You might not see it, but I want you to believe it and know it.

I’m sure you’re living in at least one of your previous prayer points. You might not realize but God wants you to know that He sees you and He notices you. Slow and steady wins this race, baby!💕

P.S~ I got the idea of this post while I was washing plates one day. You’re welcomeee!🥰 See you in August!🤭😂 Pictures are from Pinterest and my 10th birthday photo album!

Bye frr🤣!