Of course, by the end of 2024, it felt like everything was going wrong. Curse that poster! But as time went on, in hindsight, I could see glimmers of hope. She’s the First found a safe, steady future through a merger with Girl Rising. While the U.S. lost our chance at an incredible first female president, New York City elected a young, progressive new leader (other cities and states did, too).

The past month was an excruciatingly anxious time for me, a continuation of the renovation troubles I wrote about last month. At one point, while I awaited test results on a potential contamination issue, my mind spiraled into the dark place of what we’d do when all the samples came back positive. “When,” not “if.”

In the end, all 16 samples tested came back negative. Phew. I can’t even describe what it felt like to hear those words, after how scary it was to imagine the opposite outcome.

So, as we close out the summer, while I’m not with Michael’s family and friends in Edinburgh per usual (how I miss it!), that poster is back in my mind’s eye. I’m still feeling quite raw and frazzled from the roller coaster of the past two months, so the best thing I have to offer you is what I am offering myself.

What if it all goes right? Or at least, what if things work out in the end, despite the dramatic ups and downs along the way…

I look forward to delivering higher-quality issues of Tammy’s Tidbits in the fall, when I’m feeling more settled. We’re supposed to be home August 25 🤞 And there are lots of juicy moments on the horizon! It’s my home stretch on the Girl Rising staff, and I’m excited about the foundation I’m laying for what’s next.

See you on September 19th!

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Our home renovation ran into an unexpected, expensive, and hazardous problem. I quickly had to find two months of alternative housing, while freaked out by the issue we encountered.

As awful as this was for us, we ultimately dodged a far worse situation. There are so many tragedies happening in the world, and this is not one of them. You know that feeling, right? The tension between your own unfortunate circumstances at times and the wider perspective of how lucky you still are in the grander scheme of things.

Through it all, I found my inspiration for this month’s tidbit: the powerful experience of asking for help and feeling cared for by a community.

Although I’ve done it countless times for She’s the First and others, I’m not used to asking for direct help for myself. It’s vulnerable! I shared what I was going through with my women’s leadership listserv, neighborhood WhatsApp groups, and my Close Friends on Instagram. I flat out asked if anyone had accommodations to share with us. I asked friends who were traveling if we could stay at their place, unsure if I was overstepping.

After 24 hours, several people reached out offering their empty spaces while on vacation, guest rooms, or connections to people they knew. I felt so taken care of and supported, whether it was my best friends or just other moms from the playground. In the end, we have places to land through late August. Phew. Big exhale.

As Julie Beck, writer for The Atlantic, says, homes don’t have to be places where people go to be alone. Home is an extension of our heart. I have always loved the vision of a home that invites others in, and I look forward to a future where I can do that again.

Thank you to those who offered us a roof over our heads, empathy, or words of reassurance. And most of all, to my husband Michael, our family’s hero. <3

A Love Letter to Libraries

While I’m on the topic of appreciating community, libraries also come to mind. My Brooklyn branch is a routine after-school stop with Owen.

During this past month as a house guest, I didn’t want to leave my host with an expensive AC bill, so I used the Wi-Fi at my local library. How did I forget libraries are a fantastic free place to work?

Then, while crashing in my NJ hometown, my parents and sister hosted a week of “Tibbetts summer camp” for Owen. They bopped around four different local libraries, taking advantage of free, creative activities for kids. Each library had a bright children’s room, filled with reading nooks, toys, scavenger hunts, coloring sheets, and more. One library hosted its 32nd annual “Egg Drop,” a contest to see which kid’s egg contraption could be dropped from three stories high without breaking the egg. Owen was enthralled and couldn’t stop talking about how the eggs with parachutes survived the fall.

As local media outlets disappear, leaving communities more fragmented, libraries are becoming the ‘third space’ where people can meet up to connect, learn new skills, and experience diversity. They are vital, and I’d love to contribute more to them.

📕Highly recommend: The Library Book by Susan Orlean, which uses the unsolved arson case at the Los Angeles library in the ‘80s to illustrate how libraries offer our society far more than books. (a Reese Witherspoon Book Club pick)

📖 Currently checked out from my library: The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life, a thoughtful compilation of journaling prompts from famous writers, curated by Suleika Jaouad. I hope to use them in the months ahead.

What’s something you want to ask for help with? I’d love to hear from you.

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At the very start of the fourth quarter, I wrote:

I remember visualizing a basketball game and telling myself the buzzer hadn’t gone off yet. But the fundraising turnaround I had to do was like a 29-point deficit during an NBA Finals game in the third quarter.

Good news: We all know how that turned out, on both counts. 🙂

When I woke up last Thursday morning after Game 4 of the Knicks vs Spurs (I went to bed during the 2nd quarter) and watched the Instagram replays, I was instantly transported back to my journal page. With two seconds to spare, sometimes you can still win. But it takes remarkable precision, among teammates who are ready to anticipate each other’s moves and close the gaps.

She’s the First turned around its fundraising challenges in 2023 with bit-by-bit, never-giving-up momentum. In the 11th hour that December, we had one big grant win that turned everything around. I cried tears of relief when I found out, releasing enormous pressure that I’d been carrying on my shoulders. Fast forward two years later, and She’s the First would enter the merger into Girl Rising from our strongest financial position ever.

My biggest organizational wins were always feats of radical teamwork. The equivalent of a ball passing through multiple hands, when even the person who shot didn’t score without the agile colleague who tipped it into the basket for the game-winning point.

Last week, I was dressing Owen and myself in blue-and-orange — we’re not even Knicks fans! But we are New Yorkers and, I suppose, the fans of Knicks fans. Who can resist their contagious joy after they waited 27 years to win the NBA Championship?!

People chose to watch a game crowded together, standing outside for hours, instead of lounging on their comfy couches. The streets of New York erupted in pure shock and awe. To me, that’s a stunning show of community more than sports. Deep down inside, we’re all believers in against-the-odds, history-defining comeback stories. And that’s a lesson we’ll have to draw on relentlessly as we face our futures and the upcoming election season.

Never quit while you’re still in the game. 💙🏀

Go Liberty!

I am a New York Liberty fan, both on principle (women’s sports deserve more $$!) and because they’re an awesome, national championship-winning team! Last year, my high school friend Ami (a long-time super fan) introduced me to all the fun I was missing out on at the Barclays Center, and I was hooked.

The day after the Knicks’ historic Finals win, we had tickets to see the Liberty play, and they won! Until this game, I had forgotten the WNBA was created only 30 years ago. I’m so glad Owen gets to cheer along to their show of strength, athleticism, and teamwork. Here’s to more games and summer victories — for all of us!

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…And yet, the experience of seeing one’s child graduate high school or university is the analogy I keep coming back to as I transition She’s the First into Girl Rising. After 16 years of raising her, I feel the utmost joy, pride, and excitement for her future and my own. I guess when the time comes, you’re ready.

So this year, I feel extra kinship with the Class of 2026. While I’m not beside them in a cap and gown, later this year, I’m graduating from The Extremely Challenging and Infinitely Rewarding School of Nonprofit Entrepreneurship (with a PhD and honors?!). For the first time since 2007, I get to throw myself into a job search…the freedom and possibilities feel exhilarating, even if a little daunting.

How to Start

I’m an eternal optimist, but I’m not ignorant of reality: this is a tough job market. That’s true for roles in the social impact sector (considering all the lay-offs from funding cuts) and entry-level jobs across industries, disrupted by AI. So I know graduation season isn’t all parties and relief; for many right now, it’s fear, anxiety, and dread.

Bring on How to Start: Discovering Your Life’s Work by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Jodi Kantor. I adore this little 91-page book, which is written for recent grads and also life-affirming for alumni of all ages. The core principles:

• Develop a craft, a combination of expertise and skill that gives you authority and isn’t so easily replaced by others or technology. For example, I believe my craft is building organizations for impact, cultivating relationships, and connecting others in advantageous ways.

• Independently observe a need you can meet with your craft. This need will evolve as the world changes.

• Observe yourself, too, and take note of what lights you up about a particular assignment or job description. Then, let those positive emotions be your reliable guides, rather than letting fear push you away from risks worth taking.

• My favorite sentence is on page 61: “That special glow of the flawless-seeming student has a way of fading, and it’s often the weirdos or outliers who take over.” I feel so seen! 🤣 Who else? My greatest wish for students today is that they don’t feel limited by their current circumstances. Or by what their first job is. (Case in point: I started as editor of a prom dress website!) Don’t compare yourself to others. Stay focused on your craft.

The Values That Keep You Going

When I attended NYU’s inaugural Philanthropy Institute last month, I gained another tool that may help you understand the driving forces behind your chosen craft. Suzy Welch, a charismatic NYU Stern professor and best-selling author, presented her “Values Bridge,” a scientifically validated assessment of your values and how authentically you live them.

My top three values (out of 16) are Radius (aspiring to change the world at a systemic level), Belonging (valuing friendship and community), and Place (deep connection to a home city). The assessment helps you see tension between your values; for example, my desire for stability in this life stage with a small child creates tension with the unpredictability that comes with a “radius life.” Makes sense; I took on a lot of risk to create long-lasting change over the past 16 years. The purpose of this tool is to recognize those conflicts so you can find strategies to harmonize them.

You can take this assessment at thevaluesbridge.com and get preliminary results for free; a full data report is $30. (Team Leaders: This is a great exercise to bring into the workplace for retreats.) I think it’s worth it. Enjoy!

Parting Gifts: Links You Might Like

For the Soon-to-be High School Grad:

• Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You shifts the spotlight from how colleges pick students to how students can better pick colleges. Jeffrey Selingo helps high-achieving kids see that the Ivy League is not the end-all and be-all. It’s like the book version of what my dad told me in high school: “If you’re Princeton material, you’ll be Princeton material anywhere.” Now, I’m so happy with the path I chose — and yes, TCNJ is featured in the book! Happy to mail my copy of this book to any reader who has a college-bound kid. DM me!

For the College/University Grad:

• Pair How to Start with Debbie Millman’s Jodi Kantor episode on the Design Matters podcast, for the full picture of Jodi’s impact on journalism and society.

• If you helped Devil Wears Prada 2 cash in at the box office, listen to screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna on How to Fail. She described an encounter with her hero, the late Nora Ephron. Aline wanted to get into directing and shared her reservations with this esteemed mentor. Nora replied, “If those are all your complaints about it, don’t direct; but it sounds to me like what you describe as your fears are actually your wishes.” What a truth bomb! This connects to Jodi’s advice to confidently take risks when you can.

For the “Career Grad” - moving from one chapter to the next:

• My husband Michael introduced me to the @manifestlikemom Instagram page, AKA Joanne Adams Boyle, a mindset coach in Edinburgh. She adds a smart layer of neuroscience to the power of positive thinking, explained in plain English, with a Scottish accent. Try this one, on how your imagination helps you beat the odds.

Congrats to all the grads! See you again on June 19.

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Manifesting is speaking your goals out loud, while also taking action to achieve them. You visualize success, then align your subconscious and conscious behaviors to support that outcome.

Many people prefer to keep a lower profile, and they find success, too, of course! But I’ve always believed in the power of your own dot com. Through a personal website, you can signal your goals 24/7 and tell your own story, so opportunity finds you, too.

I relaunched my personal website today!

My goal with this website is to build a bridge from my nonprofit expertise to a future career in philanthropy.

But first, a little backstory.

College of New Jersey Professor Kim Pearson could see the future before Squarespace even existed. She lectured my Intro to Professional Writing class in 2004 about creating our own website portfolios. I uploaded HTML pages to an FTP server. I’ll never forget my pink website!

I had a “Role Models” tab, listing women leaders I admired. One of them, Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times journalist Dana Canedy, found my website through a web engine search! She emailed me and invited me to shadow her for a day at the New York Times. Remember, I was a first-generation college student with big dreams and no industry connections. This was SURREAL. That day changed my life. This amazing woman pulled me into the nation’s most powerful newsroom and introduced me to all the top editors. For the rest of my sophomore year, the front page of the New York Times from the day of my visit hung on my dorm room wall.

tammytibbetts.com has evolved significantly since then, and thanks to the “Wayback Machine” Internet Archive, I can even remind myself of those early, earnest iterations. (Look at my goals from 2007, aw.)

Do you want to build or revamp your own website?

As you can see, this has been a personal passion of mine for 20 years! I’d love to help you. Between the ease of Squarespace 7.1, and Claude’s IT support, it is super easy to do this yourself.

Here is my 5-step process:

1. Start with your goal

Are you making a career pivot? Looking for a new job? Not job searching, but want to preserve your best work in a portfolio, or share learnings with others? That will help you figure out the site structure.

2. Audit job descriptions

For a few months, I collected job descriptions that appealed to me, and I studied the language used to describe the ideal candidate. I thought about the qualities and keywords that would need to come across clearly in how I presented myself.

3. Draft copy

In a Google Doc, I started by revamping my bio, reframing my experience to attract my next opportunity. I wrote this in third person, so others could copy and paste it, if they wanted to share it.

Then, I broke the rest of the website into sections, which went a little deeper on the three main aspects I wanted to emphasize about my career: my next steps, my change management/leadership, and my speaking and writing.

You’ll edit your words down as you place them into the layout. I write my own words, but use AI assistance (Claude) for feedback on how my points land, then revise.

4. Choose your visuals

If you haven’t taken professional photos in a long time, I’d recommend setting up a photo shoot. Otherwise, collect all quality images you have, headshots and candids, in a Google Photos album.

Is there a color you’ve been leaning toward in your wardrobe? Try starting with that, and use coolors.co to build a color palette around it.

Browse Squarespace templates and notice which one jumps out at you. Edit the site styles with your color palette, pick a couple of fonts you like, and have fun playing with the drag-and-drop features.

5. Gather feedback

You can edit your pages at any time; don’t obsess over them! I previewed my website with a handful of trusted friends/mentors; three of them had the same suggestion, which led me to make a great improvement. Look for commonalities in the feedback; otherwise, do what you think is best, it’s your site. 😎

In Other News…

Officially Merged!
The Girl Rising x She’s the First merger is 100% complete! Visit us at girlrising.org. I look forward to sharing more about the journey in "The Merger Diaries” on LinkedIn.

Hold Onto Your Moon Joy
I am so inspired by Artemis II — both the 4 astronauts and all the women at NASA who pulled it off, especially Lakiesha Hawkins, who was in my IWF Fellowship cohort (and worked SO hard to make this mission happen on time and safely!) I highly recommend reading “When Everyone is Brilliant, Character Becomes the Mission,” Penny Abeywardena’s reminder that intelligence only gets you so far. It’s how you lead, “soft power” as she calls it, that sets the good apart from the great. “The most powerful thing you can do in any room, or any capsule, is be the kind of person other people trust when there is no signal and no script.”

Enjoy the beauty of spring. 🌸 May the seeds you’ve been planting begin to bloom, in every sense! See you again on May 19th.

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With that perspective in mind, I am relishing the energy of in-person events this March. In my world, NYC comes alive with CSW (Commission on the Status of Women) action around the United Nations and Women’s History Month.

For this month’s issue, I thought I’d share how — even as an introvert — I energize myself with in-person engagements.

How I Approach Events:

• “Just One”: Success is not meeting as many people as you can. I enter with a mentality of walking away with one valuable connection. Ideally, one person who can help me, and one person I can help. It takes pressure off. You show up more authentically when you’re looking to give, not just get. I always feel like I meet the person I’m meant to.

• Ask Meaningful Questions: While it feels like destiny, making the right connection is not by accident. Most people have something to offer if you crack beneath the surface of “What do you do?” Such an unoriginal question also translates to “What’s your title/industry and how much power/wealth do you have?”, and we multi-faceted beings generally don’t like to be reduced to that. Instead, I ask: “What’s bringing you joy now? Or keeping you busy?” “What are you hoping to learn here?” “What do you enjoy about being a member?” It’s fun to watch eyes light up when they get to answer a question no one else has asked.

• Google Before You Go: If an attendee list is shared in advance, make your own luck by doing quick background research. This helps me avoid generic small talk and keep an eye open for someone I’ll recognize.

• Dress Colorfully: I don’t always, but if I opt to wear my gold sneakers, or a bright top, those are magnets for compliments in my city where black is the norm. Try it sometime, even with a unique accessory. It helps people break the ice with you.

• Share or It Didn’t Happen: I do my best to post a photo or video from the event on my social media and tag the organization. People worked hard to plan it, and the amplification matters, particularly for advocacy-driven events. Think of what you’d tell someone who wanted to be in that room but couldn’t be.

• Timely Follow Up: Send follow-up messages or LinkedIn notes within the week. Reference something memorable you talked about, or include a helpful link.

Business Card Poll

Speaking of networking, with the merger, my biz cards are out of date. Should I replace them?

Misc Insights from My March Events:

• CSW70: An updated cheat sheet of compelling statistics on why investing in girls is urgent and the smartest thing to do.

• New research launched to end child marriage, with Secretary Hillary Clinton and Sheryl Sandberg, at Columbia SIPA: Child marriage rates dropped from 1 in 4 to 1 in 5 over the past 25 years (progress!). It will cost $1.3B annually to drop them even further, to 1 in 7 girls…The economic cost of inaction is $175 BILLION each year. If moral imperatives won’t work, then the business case is clear.

• Purposeful & UNICEF’s #Power4Her at the Ford Foundation: Disgracefully, the United States was the only country out of 45 to vote “no” on a women’s rights document at the UN 😡. But other countries are setting progressive examples, recognizing girls’ rights are intertwined with their goals to be middle-income, green economies. I heard the Honorable Chernor Bah, Minister of Information and Civic Education in Sierra Leone (a former STF Board Director!), talk about how their government is a top spender in education, created a specialized court to prosecute sexual offenses, and set quotas to increase women’s representation in leadership.
  

• Edelman’s 2026 Trust Barometer revealed 70% of people have an insular mindset. They’re losing trust — but they trust their employers more than business, NGOs, government, or the media. As a long-time nonprofit partner of Edelman, I was honored to speak on their International Women’s Day panel, which streamed across their global offices. A company builds trust by standing up for its values, not just one day, but all year long.

  

• Common thread at every gathering: People are looking for hope and solutions, amid all the doom and gloom out there. If you find a way to bring that, you’ll create opportunities.

A Joyful Performance

Next Issue = New Website Reveal! You’ll be the first to see my new website on April 19! I’ll share my process and tips for building your own personal website.

Also, GirlRising.org relaunches on April 1, showing the infusion of She’s the First! The merger is legally official March 31. Woohoo, we did it! Thanks for the support. 💖

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Professionally, I’m two months into my Chief Advisor role, actively not making decisions as I build the capacity of a merged team and support a smooth transition to new leadership. It is freeing. After 16 years of making countless major and minuscule decisions, I am loving the gear switch here.

There are two reasons why I think I’m having a great experience “letting go” of something I hold dear:

• First, I chose a team I fully trust and respect. We share values and vision. I can trust them to make a decision that puts the mission first.

• Second, I get to practice an important skill: influencing a good decision. I can step back with a bit of detachment (but still a lot of care), identify the pros and cons, then make a recommendation to the person or team who will be living with the consequences of that decision for longer than I am.

I’m also thinking about participatory decision-making more broadly:

In Philanthropy:
I’m drawn to participatory grantmaking and wish to build these systems wherever I go next. For example, the Amplify Her Foundation has a diverse Leadership Committee, which guides the Foundation’s grantmaking decisions for nonprofits impacting girls and women in New York City.

If you voted for Girl Rising in the annual Project for Awesome contest last week, thank you! In 2007, authors John and Hank Green started a movement, mobilizing their huge “Nerdfighter” fan base to raise over 3 million dollars annually. They give 50% to Partners in Health and Save the Children US, and then let the community vote on which vetted organizations receive the other 50% (based on video votes).

In January, She’s the First and Girl Rising were invited to send a proposal to a DREAM corporate partner 🤞, who is giving a group of girls the power to choose their nonprofit partner(s)! How cool is that?!! Imagine if all major philanthropic forces meaningfully engaged the populations they serve in deciding where resources go. It’s a big shift away from the traditional invite-only approach that favors personal connections to the wealthy.

In Parenting:
The part I most remember from Bringing Up Bébé, which I read while pregnant, was cadre. The author believed French parents set a firm frame/boundary, and within that strict structure, they give kids the freedom to make their own choices. Owen increasingly wants to be the boss. We’re thinking about how to give him more choose-your-own adventure freedom… within firm boundaries that he’ll accept without a fight. If you’ve found fun ways to do this as a parent, please inspire me!

Escaping the Winter Blues:

There are a gazillion decisions that go into planning a Disney family vacation - and I was too overwhelmed to make any of them. Michael took this on as his project and gave Owen and me a magical week we’ll never forget. It was surreal to retrace the steps I had taken 30 years ago as a girl!

Pro tip: Buy the Memory Maker package; you can take unlimited photos with the professional photographers scattered around the parks; I’ll treasure ours forever!

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I’ve made small design tweaks, like the turning page in my header graphic, to reflect how this year is a big turning point in my career. I’m shifting from co-CEO of She’s the First (a job I’ve had for 15 years!) into Chief Advisor of the merged entity, Girl Rising, for one year. And then…well, we’ll find out together!

Many people ask how I feel — any combination of emotions would be appropriate. My answer is, genuinely, pure exhilaration. After 16 rewarding years of entrepreneurship, the agency I have feels more freeing than daunting. I can make new choices to explore untapped potential, in both myself and in She’s the First. Joining our strengths with Girl Rising gives our programs superpowers that we didn’t have before, and it allows me to sharpen new skills.

A Yearly Theme

Do you have one? When I worked at Seventeen, editor-in-chief Ann Shoket had a ritual* of choosing a word for the year. Like a guiding light.

“Untapped potential” is sticking with me (ok, so it’s two words, but close enough).

• At its worst, untapped potential weighs heavily on our hearts: It is a travesty that despite all the resources in this world, so many children, girls especially, will never be able to discover their gifts due to poverty, gender oppression, war, and other forces beyond their control. The loss of this potential pushes me to urgently contribute to movements that create opportunity for girls.

• At its best, untapped potential sparkles with possibilities.** When someone has a foundation of education, safety, and support, it inspires a lifetime of self-discovery, choice…and building a legacy that lasts beyond your own life.

Tapping into potential can be big and life-altering. It can also be small and quotidian. My meal planning is full of untapped potential (for now, I rely on Michael’s talents!). My bedtime routine, if I swap those 20 minutes of Instagram scrolling for a book***… My running performance, which I am now improving with coaching sessions Michael got me for my birthday… No big overhauls here — just a light tap, adding a bit more brightness to a screen that I already like.

So here’s to a year of discovering our untapped potential — as leaders, changemakers, travelers, and happy homebodies — together! 🥂

Extra Tidbits:

✨ *New Year’s Rituals: As I’ve gotten older, I’ve embraced “New Year, Same Me” over “New Year, New You.” Jan 1st isn’t some magical reset button; I much prefer a fluid approach to goal-setting. But, I still stick to my Jan. 1st ritual of writing a letter to my future self (and opening last year’s letter!). This year, I had the thrill of opening a gift from my 14-year-old self, the time capsule I told you about… it did not disappoint! I’m now making a 10-year time capsule for Owen to open when he’s 14.

📒 **Possibility Binder: My work schedule is still jam-packed, in a good way, so this is how I’m carving space to reflect on new possibilities. I’m turning my annual vision board into a vision binder. I’m collaging the front of it, just like I would a vision board. Inside, I inserted sheet protectors, to hold print-outs of job descriptions and articles that sound interesting to me, so later, I can observe what I’m drawn to. I’ll also hang onto little mementos (event programs, notes, etc.), write down the books I’m reading, etc., so I can keep reminding myself to explore this year.

📚 ***Books: I am squeezing reading time into my bedtime routine! The Island of Sea Women was my first book of 2026; it’s an extraordinary piece of historical fiction centering female friendship, also teaching me about the tragedies of the Korean War and the resilient matrifocial society of Haenyeos, female divers, on Jeju Island in South Korea.

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

Happy holidays, friends!

Can you believe it: 26 years ago, we were all counting down the final days of the 20th century. Prince’s song “1999” (written in 1982) was having its moment, Y2K made us fear all the computers would crash… And then there was 14-year-old me, making a time capsule for 40-year-old me to open on January 1, 2026.

Today, 40-year-old me has entered the building! (now you see why I always send these issues on the 19th!) If you know me, you know that my 14-year-old self is my driving force. Everything I do is so that girls have an education and agency over their lives, as I did—and also so they grow up with more confidence than I had.

As a girl, I was a straight-A student, most at risk of getting a B in gym class. I never ran a continuous mile and was the last picked for any sports team (not helping the confidence issues!).

But look at me now! 😀 I am so proud to say I crossed the 13.1-mile finish line in Central Park on Saturday — with strength and smiles, alongside my BFF Rachel!!

In the days leading up to this race, I read On Muscle: The Stuff That Moves Us and Why It Matters by Bonnie Tsui. An NPR 2025 Book of the Year, it’s a gorgeous blend of memoir and immersive reporting on inspiring feats of strength. She writes:

“Every day, my muscles are reminding me of things I need to remember about being a person. Today the lesson is clear: Though we are essentially who we are, we’re capable of change.”

As I read that, I clearly saw why I set this birthday goal to come out of running retirement, after an 11-year break (I quit after the NYC Marathon in 2014). Growing up, I was never expected to athletic. I was expected to be the shy one. But as we get older, who doesn’t love defying expectations? And being surprised with new discoveries about yourself?

In celebration of four decades, I thought I’d share four lessons that stuck with me from this half-marathon:

1. “It’s not about the finish but the journey.” No matter how race day went, for four months, I got out there before dawn and on lunchtime breaks, to run 3-4 times a week, and strength/cross train for 2. Unheard of, since Owen was born! And I did it while leading a merger, in a year that I have taken on 5 job full-time descriptions (not exaggerating). Putting myself first to protect that time was a huge behavior shift for me, and the endorphins made me show up better in my day for others. Total win. (Thank you, Sammy, for this reminder!)
   

2. Keep the Outcome, Change the Plan. After returning from Kenya, my last two long training runs didn’t bode well. I couldn’t get past 6 miles of continuous running…so I recalled a mindset that has helped me with networking and fundraising over the years: if the front door is locked, find an open window to crawl through (metaphorically, of course, I don’t break into homes!). If you can’t achieve the goal the way you hoped, find another way to arrive at the same outcome (in this case, a race medal). I listened to my body and adjusted my plan to include walking intervals, to ease things on my IT band — and it worked!
   

3. Lean into the Positive. I genuinely expected a disaster on the race course; that my IT band would lash out early on and leave me hobbling for miles (which happened to me pre- running retirement). But, in a way that is unusual for me, I actually stopped worrying about it and accepted whatever would happen. (After all, there are real issues to worry about; this is not one of them!) I focused on the incredible good luck of the weather — the temps were above 30 degrees, NYC’s first snowfall was holding off until the night — and I would be running alongside my bestie. She’d pull me through no matter what.
   

4. Start the Way You Want it to Be. Rachel paraphrased a Gretchen Rubin quote: start a new chapter — be it a year, a decade, even a day — how you want it to be. I want to be like Rachel, who flew all the way from Salt Lake City to do this race (IN THE FREEZING COLD!) with me — in other words, I want to show up for the people who matter to me, including friends, family, Michael, Owen.
   
   Stronger Together: it’s the motto of the She’s the First x Girl Rising merger and name of our year-end fundraising campaign (which I championed through this race - over $10,000 came from readers of this newsletter in honor of my birthday and race; your generosity is astounding. THANK YOU!!)

   
   But it’s also exactly how I want to live my next 10 years: running races (mostly shorter ones!), alongside friends, and in the park. If I’m lucky, I’ll catch you there.

   ---

   See you in 2026! I met my goal of writing a full year of monthly newsletters, woohoo! 🎉 I’ve decided to see how far I can keep going. :)

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   in memory of Ursula Hofer 💛

But it’s not my changing job title that’s top of mind — it’s my changing decade! One month from today, I’m 40!

We all celebrate milestone birthdays in our own unique ways. When I turned 30, my parents came to visit me and took me out to lunch with two close friends, Erin Leigh and Hannah. It was the first birthday I ever had a boyfriend write me a card—and that sweet guy ended up becoming my husband. ❤️

For my 40th, I wanted to give myself something meaningful: a revival of my long-lost love of running. I gave up 10 years ago, after my first and only marathon, when strength imbalances kept sidelining me with injuries. (For context, I could not run a mile in high school gym class and have no athletic background!)

✨My 40th Birthday Half-Marathon for She’s the First✨

The Central Park half-marathon is less than a month away, Dec. 13! My birthday wish is to A) cross the finish line + B) raise $4,000 to fund girls’ education and safe spaces.

I’d be honored to have your support at givebutter.com/stronger2gether. You can even take advantage of a 2x match right now. When you give, you can leave a note that’s like a virtual Race Poster (I need the motivation!) I’ll tally up my community’s contributions, and we’ll celebrate together in December. 🥂

🎧 Podcast: “How to Use Your Muscles — or Risk Losing Them”

When I needed to remind myself why I chose such a relaxing birthday gift 🙃, I listened to this TED Talk Daily episode. The next time you choose movement over the very real temptation to stay at your desk or on the couch, I hope you’re proud of you!

📚 Studying Team Transitions:

I’m knee deep in culture-building and change management in the workplace. Along with my co-leaders, I aim to write a lot more about this in 2026, to help other organizations learn from what we get right (and where we mess up). Meanwhile, I’ll share a few insightful resources to illuminate the journey:

• Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change - I first read this in 2022, and it helped me acknowledge people’s emotional reactions to change. I work with a lot of efficiency and speed, and I’m constantly reminding myself to slow down and honor this process. Otherwise, you risk conflict down the line that is more costly.

• The Nonprofit Mergers Workbook Part II: Unifying the Organization After a Merger - in the middle of this book now, to make sure we’re covering our bases.

• The Culture Map by Erin Meyer - I love her research, which informs how you shape workplace culture, by factoring in how employees bring different understandings of what is “professional,” based on their country.

• “Where Should We Begin? At Work” - therapist Esther Perel adapts her renowned work with couples into a version appropriate for colleagues. I just bought these cards and am excited to test them out!

Admiring Others’ Transitions

Did anyone else — especially mamas of 3-year-olds — get misty-eyed at the final bow of Misty Copeland, as she retired from the American Ballet Theatre? Her son, who watched her perform for the first time, walked out on stage with a bouquet. As she hugged him, I felt a deep sense of shared connection. Obviously, I’ll never know what it’s like being a world-class ballerina (nor one who has broken racial barriers), but being a mom who wants your son to be proud of you? 😭 Always. Misty is an example of how you build impact from a new vantage point — she became a Trustee of the American Ballet Theatre to continue pushing the institution to be more inclusive.

Also, I’m cheering on New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, our youngest mayor in a century and first Muslim mayor (among other firsts)! I was proud to vote for him. I am confident a 34-year-old Assemblymember, driven by values and grassroots voices, can run this city well, by building a strong team around himself. On that note, he started by appointing an all-women transition team. In times of transition, your earliest decisions will speak volumes about your values — make them count!

A Lasting Legacy

This month, something happened for the first time: A law firm notified me that a woman passed away and made a bequest to She’s the First. She had no close family. I don’t know a single person in her state and have no idea how she might have stumbled upon our mission. I think about her almost every day now, wishing I had known her. As young as I still am, let’s face it: Life is short. We all have the chance to give while we’re alive, and/or when we’re gone, and create infinite ripples.

It has been the honor of a lifetime to lead a mission that inspires such generosity and to witness its impact unfold over nearly two decades. And there’s still lots of gas in the tank…I can’t wait for what we’ll shape together.

‘See you’ on December 19th — from Edinburgh!

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October is a showstopper, whether you’re in Central or Prospect Park, head upstate, or maybe right where you live! Today, Michael and I took Owen on a day trip to Cold Spring to appreciate the fall foliage. One of my favorite autumn memories is stepping onto a lookout with panoramic views of the Hudson Valley, on a hike with friends.

Figuratively speaking, October 11th felt like reaching a beautiful lookout, after strenuous but rewarding labor — stumbling over rocks, hopping over streams, avoiding bears...all while feeling really energized by fresh air and thinking.

Finally, after months of keeping it under wraps, we announced BIG news: She’s the First is merging with Girl Rising, an organization we’ve been friends with for a decade. (If you didn’t know, please visit shesthefirst.org/merger!)

Exploring and then planning for the merger was a joy, as intense as it was (ultimately, a 272-page document was submitted to the Attorney General of New York, a feat made possible by our amazing pro bono attorneys; every page represents hundreds of details we’ve considered along the way).

There is so much more to do, and conquering one mountain means an even bigger one awaits! I’m already well into the next climb on this merger journey… But on International Day of the Girl, October 11th, I paused to take it all in. I could exhale, look out at the breathtaking community that surrounds the mission I love so much, and know that the 16-year climb was worth it.

Mergers as a Strategic First Choice

I’m most excited about our merger for the impact it’ll have on millions of girls and their communities (fun fact about Girl Rising: They have partnerships with the Kenyan and Indian governments, which opens doors for massive reach and influence!). Although nonprofit mergers have been happening for ages, we are one of the first in what is expected to be a new wave of ‘radical collaboration,’ in response to authoritarianism and the duress it puts on the nonprofit sector. We hope to share our learnings in real time and to inspire funders to set aside special funds for mergers. Our first piece is an op-ed in Candid — would love to hear your feedback!

Would you add to my training playlist?

I’m seeking podcast recommendations to get through multiple 6-10 mile runs over the next couple of months (presuming I remain injury-free!). Have any to share?

Leave a comment

My rec for you: Emma Watson’s first podcast interview, a deep 2.5-hour conversation with Jay Shetty. So many of her reflections stuck with me; most of all, I was struck by how Emma pitched herself for this podcast, via Instagram DM (something any entrepreneur who doesn’t have a press team has done!) and how she prepared the host in advance with raw material. I love how she took control of her own narrative and created the kind of space she wants to show up in.

There’s still so much ahead this month!

• Finding My Way: I’m going to Malala’s book launch in NYC on October 21st! I can’t wait to fly through this memoir. Book club, anyone?

• WIN Awards: On Friday the 24th, I will have the Oscar-esque experience of attending the Women in Innovation Awards as a finalist — the winners will be announced live! If you fancy joining Michael and me for the fun, you can get 15% off your ticket here with the code WINSQUAD.

• NYRR Haunted 10k: One year after coming out of ‘running retirement’ to do the 5k here, I’m back for the 10k! One of the reasons I love running is that it tangibly shows me progress is possible if you keep showing up.

• VOTE! After October 24th, I will be getting my early voting on, in support of Zohran Mamdani! I’m a big fan of his vision and leadership, even bigger fan of his Deputy Campaign Manager. (Go Katie!)

• Halloween! Trick-or-treating is a big deal in my neighborhood, and so the Walbetts go all in. This year is a Disney princess theme, inspired by Owen’s far-in-advance request to be Elsa. Michael will be his Anna. Many have asked me if I’ll be Olaf. No, Wally (mini poodle) and I have gone in another direction and teamed up as Beauty and the Beast. I can’t wait to see your costume photos, friends!

  ---

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The closer you get to realizing a goal (in this example: to send a year’s worth of monthly newsletters), even when the circumstances get more challenging, your motivation increases. Many of us spend the early parts of a year trying to form new habits. When those habits start to stick (this takes me a while), that’s when the magic happens! You rise to the occasion.

Another area of my life where this is manifesting is my running. I signed up for a 40th birthday half-marathon months ago. Now, with 12 weeks to go, it’s time for an official training plan. The first half of the year, I ignored my calendar reminders to “Go Exercise!” Now, a 3-mile run on lunch break is the new normal.

My co-CEO job is more intense and more exciting than ever. I’m back to working 12-hour days, yikes, during a short period of being understaffed. This is not sustainable…but there’s a goal post in mind (some of you know what it is, as recent She’s the First donors have gotten a special preview!) And I’m thrilled for what’s on the other side. So I power through.

Are you finally hitting your stride, too? If not, and you are stuck in a rut, I’m sorry, and I understand. I have been there, quite recently — that feeling is cyclical, as my friend Amy reminds us in her book The Setback Cycle. We must be kind to ourselves, especially against a constant drum of disturbing national and global news. Keep going; there’s something wonderful waiting for you on the other side.

Inspiring me this month:

🎧 Podcast: I listen to pop music on my 3-mile runs and podcasts on anything longer. How to Fail with Elizabeth Day is my new favorite discovery — I started with the Melinda Gates episode and love the format: each guest brings 3 failures to talk about.

📚 Books:

• For fun: I read How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristen Perrin, an American who now lives with her family in the UK (fitting to read on my vacation to Scotland!). Who doesn’t love a good UK-based murder mystery with an underestimated female protagonist who (of course!) cracks the case?

• For your career: Rich Relationships by my friend Selena Soo. Selena is one of the very first friends I made in NYC, when I was still a college student. Knowing her is a masterclass in nurturing meaningful professional relationships — and with her best-selling book, now anyone can replicate her success.

👦 Mom Life: Many of you saw my Instagram footage of Owen rocking out to a Danny Go! concert at Madison Square Garden. It’s PURE JOY, so I am re-sharing it here.

For those who like a good career pivot story, Danny Coleman started making his Danny Go! YouTube channel in his garage with friends (it’s now reportedly worth millions from the ad revenue), after a job making videos for Lowe’s. The videos get Owen off the couch, dancing and singing with a passion, so Michael and I are big fans.

👗 Shopping: Back-to-school season always has me wanting a closet refresh. I found NPR’s comic on How to Cultivate Your Personal Style full of sensible guidance.

Phew, I did it, 9 issues down. There’s no stopping me now! See you on October 19th.

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

To celebrate, I decided this month's edition would skip the leadership and philanthropy topics, and instead be a guide to my favorites in Edinburgh. If you haven't visited Edinburgh, add it to your travel wish list — and save these recs!

For those who don’t know me well, I’ve visited Edinburgh at least a dozen times in the past decade, starting when I was long-distance dating my now-husband Michael. How can you not love a city that offers a castle skyline, is very walkable, and balances a storied medieval history with the youthful vibrance of a university town? And, as a big feminist bonus, it lies within the country that was the first in the world to make period products free!

My Top Highlights:

• Calton Hill: Breathtaking views of the city, plus a new cafe that I can’t wait to visit, hopefully for a sunset date night. More accessible than Arthur’s Seat, though that’s also a great place to stretch your legs.

• Edinburgh Castle and Palace of Holyroodhouse (connected by the Royal Mile): If you aren’t wrangling a small child, do an audio tour. Edinburgh Castle is over a thousand years old—and Holyrood is filled with the drama of its former resident, Mary, Queen of Scots.

• National Museum of Scotland: Visit the remains of the first cloned mammal, Dolly the Sheep — and catch the Millennium Clock’s hourly tune.

• Royal Brittania: I visited in the height of The Crown popularity; you feel like you’re stepping back in time, through Queen Elizabeth’s travels by sea.

• Fringe: If you go in August, you can enjoy the greatest performing arts festival in the world—the humorous musicals are my favorite.

  

• Princes Street Gardens: Pick up a meal deal at Sainsbury’s and then have the most beautiful, budget-friendly lunch or dinner, with castle views.

• Victoria Street, Greyfriars Cemetery: Harry Potter fans, these are for you. (While I still haven’t read the books, I’d be remiss to leave these spots off my list, even if the author is disgraceful — the characters of Harry Potter, which came to life on paper in places like the Elephant House cafe in Edinburgh, are so loved.)

The Toddler-Approved List:

• The Edinburgh Zoo: This is my favorite zoo in the world because of the walk-through exhibition of dinosaurs (Owen talks about it year-round) and a playground in view of penguins!

• Royal Mile: It’s extremely touristy, but I never tire of it — and Owen is very entertained by the street performances, from music to magic.

• Botanic Gardens: Ample space to run wild and free!

• Inverleith Park: We love to feed the ducks and watch the toy sailboats on Sunday.

• On a rainy day (and there will be plenty of them), find an indoor play center, like Make Believe.

Small Delights

• Tribe Yoga: Also an indoor cycling studio—I’m in for the Taylor Swift ride.

• Rare Birds: A bookstore 100% filled with female authors!

• Charity shops—there is a cluster of them along Raeburn Place in Stockbridge, and it’s fun to browse and shop sustainably.

• Double-decker bus: Show this New Yorker a form of public transportation that is tidy, efficient, and stroller-friendly, and she’s a fan.

• Grocery Stores: Similarly, show this New Yorker low prices on fresh, delicious food, and she goes into reverse sticker shock. We especially love British yogurt, porridge, the meal kits, and those cute little desserts in a glass pot. We fill up our suitcase with Tunnock's Milk Chocolate Tea Cakes, Hula Hoops, and Robinson’s Mini Apple & Blackcurrant “juice squeezies.”

• Water of Leith Walkway: Connects Stockbridge to Leith, the two neighborhoods we’ve lived in, and on this trip, it will be my running path (as I ease my way into half-marathon training). 😅

• Dogs in Cafes: OK, this one makes us miss our dog Wally terribly, but also gives us instant four-legged friends… I will never understand why New York (and I presume most parts of the U.S.?) don’t allow dogs inside eateries for ‘health safety regulations,’ and yet other countries do it with no problem. We can ask ourselves the same question on gun control…

• The list goes on and on, but I’ll stop here. On each trip, I challenge myself to discover something new to add! And I’d love to hear from you if there’s something in Edinburgh you love that I missed. ❤️ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  

See you again on September 19th — and in the meantime, have a happy “back-to-school season”! P.S., if you happen to shop at Anthropologie in the U.S. in August, keep your eyes open for a nice She’s the First surprise at the registers.

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

Does anyone else feel like your mind is spinning at the end of the day, whether from your job and/or the news? I’m in the most intense period of my career, planning a new chapter that I’ll tell you about soon. In the thick of doing so much (exciting!) work, I stopped taking the best care of myself (no exercise, social media scrolling before bedtime, sad-looking lunches).

July 1st, the mid point of 2025, felt like a good time to reset and stop those old, unhealthy ways. I know that taking breaks, prioritizing exercise, eating well, and seeking new offline experiences are my “personal best practices.” This boosts my energy and creativity — and makes me a better leader, mom, wife, and human. I wanted to shake up my routine to create better outcomes.

I’m happy to report a few “new ways” working well for me so far — in case any of this sparks an idea, or encourages you to try something similar. I hope you’re proud of how far you’ve already come this year. ♥

New go-to form of transport

I’ve replaced daycare pick-ups on foot with breezy bike rides. It brings a little bit of “weekend fun” vibes to my average weekday. I love biking. It connects me to my inner girl. Going on summer bike rides with my family (around warehouse parking lots, across the street from where I grew up) was a huge part of my childhood. Later, it was a big part of my pandemic life with Michael (when we avoided the subway like the plague). Now, cruising around leafy green Brooklyn streets with Owen is a favorite family outing. (Michael even got us helmets with an intercom, so we can talk when we’re biking at different speeds!)

New source of inspiration

One Sunday, I rode the subway a handful of stops to join my friend Ami at her favorite pastime: a New York Liberty WNBA game, at the Barclays Center. I’m not a “sports person,” yet this team’s good energy quickly won me over. The NY Liberty is a phenomenal turnaround story that even became a Harvard Business School case study this year. I’m late to the party, but now I’m hooked — the Liberty’s teamwork and values is palpable in the arena. (And Ellie the Elephant lives up to the hype!)

New in-person workout routine

Time to get serious about the December 13th half marathon I committed to for my 40th birthday! On a good day, I squeeze in a short class on the Peloton app, but what I realized is how much I really miss a live group fitness class. So I signed up for Forward Space dance cardio classes (an intention set in my March newsletter!), and I’m trialing some local gyms to get back into using weights and machines. I already feel the “glow-up” from the endorphins.

New ways of processing thoughts

I’m getting the hang of using AI to organize my brain! Michael introduced me to a ChatGPT feature: Using the audio button, I blabber about all the updates on my project. Then, I say, “turn this into a 3-sentence summary I can give my Board of Directors.” And voila! In minutes, what felt like chaos in my head is synthesized with polish, and I realize I’ve got this under control. I’ve also fallen in love with the notetaking app Granola.ai (thanks, Rachel!). It doesn’t add a visible bot to your video calls, and thus it doesn’t record audio and video (for legal compliance) — but it takes the most amazing, bulleted meeting notes!

Are you trying anything new that’s been refreshing? I’d love to hear from you!

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

When I started this program in October, in Washington, D.C., I believed we’d ride the wave of the first female president of the United States. When that didn’t happen, my cohort persevered through the mayhem that politics has created in our professional and personal lives. We completed this program at Harvard amid Trump's despicable efforts to ban international students from the institution. It’s been a wild 9 months that felt like years.

This program for women globally went from being something normal in the U.S. to something “controversial,” that certain companies no longer want to touch.

But when women unite, we rise together. We, the 31st IWF Fellows cohort, are rising to meet the moment in inspiring ways. I approach my leadership with an entirely new lens, toolbox, and sisterhood, thanks to IWF.

I hope you enjoy these highlights from my week at Harvard Business School in the Executive Education Program!

The Harvard Method

As I never attended business school, I was unfamiliar with the case model of learning — now I’m enthralled! You’re provided with pre-reading, and then you discuss decisions you’d make if you were the executive in charge, during a time of crisis or challenge.

Our case studies ranged from the quiet, heroic leadership of Rachel Carson, to Washington Post publisher Katherine Graham, to Arctic explorer Ernest Shackleton, to the CEO of a bullet train in Japan, to the NASA crew behind the failed Columbia mission. One professor said, “I study the past so I can help leaders of the present shape the future.” Now I’m thinking of adding history podcasts and/or memoirs to my list…

My Favorite Case Study

I loved Professor Kathleen McGinn’s session on “Influencing for Success,” which studied the career of Pat Fili-Krushel, a media executive. I walked away with these tactics for influencing a negotiation/decision. “Be firm on needs and flexible on means” is a great mantra for an everyday problem-solving mindset.

My Wake-up Call

On a scale of 1 to 5, how much have you embraced Generative AI — 1 being “I’m old-school,” 5 being “ChatGPT is my personal assistant”? I’ve been hovering around a 1.5. But a session on AI at Harvard convinced me: with the right prompts and training, AI can save hours — freeing you to focus on strategy, relationships, and your zone of genius.

To keep learning, I signed up for a free Coursera online class, “Learning AI for Social Impact Organizations”. Let me know if you’d like to take it alongside me!

My Gratitude

If you know me well, you know I credit my scholarship from New York Women in Communications (NYWICI) for catalyzing the first 20 years of my career. On May 20, I celebrated 20 years since winning a NYWICI Scholarship — and the newest class of all-star students! — with fellow alumni and mentors, at the 55th Matrix Awards.

For illuminating my next 20 years, I thank the Women’s Forum of New York for giving me a $30,000 scholarship. They made the International Women’s Forum fellowship possible for me. (Applications open again on June 1, 2026 if you’re interested!).

Women's networks have changed my life, and if that's how you identify, I hope you have one (or more!) you love.

My Philanthropy Picks:

• The New Era of Philanthropy (April 2025) by Dimple Abichandani is an essential read for funders and foundation trustees who want to embrace more progressive, effective giving. Dimple also helped me see a new goal for myself: I want to volunteer on a foundation board, where I can use my nonprofit expertise to strengthen grantmaking practices. If you can help me find a great match, let’s connect!

• I know several people hoping to pivot to Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) careers. You may find Tiana Austel’s Resource Guide helpful. My favorite newsletters for job postings are the McPherson Memo & Interested???

• Go see &Juliet on Broadway! This feminist musical is filled with repurposed pop music — and donations from merch have raised $15,000+ for She’s the First!

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Kathy’s text stuck with me: “I love getting to see who you have become/ are becoming/ always were.” Isn’t that beautiful? Isn’t life all about growth, without losing the essence of who you were when you were young, naive, and ambitious? And about relationships with people who’ve known you long enough to see that?

STF’s gala was perfect, in all the ways that mattered (see here!). As I scripted the program, it struck me that 23-year-old me would never have believed:

• Our work has impacted nearly 1 million girls to date — yielding graduations, career choices, healthier relationships & more for young women

• Girls from 62 countries, more than I’ll ever visit, lead She’s the First activities in their communities

• We’re a registered entity in Kenya, with an amazing co-CEO at the helm (let’s hear it for Kate Kiama!), with a global team beyond NYC

During event prep, I also had flashbacks where it felt like I was 23 all over again, doing whatever it took to make an event succeed with a lean team. Like that 8-foot funky balloon tower you saw on stage. I carried it into the venue myself, which, mind you, involved navigating the underbelly of the World Trade Center, with security like Fort Knox, parading by impressed tourists. Definitely something young Tammy would do.

As always, mighty volunteers are the unsung heroes of the gala. And, in the ultimate Full Circle Moment, our gala honoree, Opal Vadhan, was a former She’s the First intern and volunteer herself, circa 2011. I’ll never forget her running around our benefit concert with a headset and clipboard, in charge, despite only being a high school senior.

Opal went on to become Special Assistant to the President and Personal Aide to Vice President Kamala Harris in the Biden-Harris administration, was previously Personal Aide to Secretary Hillary Clinton, and in between, volunteered for World Central Kitchen during the pandemic.

Seeing Opal grow from being a student who loved She’s the First, into a professional who literally had the backs of two of the greatest leaders in our lifetime (and whose personal friend, Chelsea Clinton, presented her award!)…how do I describe that! It’s like having the joy of seeing a shooting star in the night sky.

Opal is the epitome of what it means to become and still be who she always was. 💜

15 more shooting stars here

Leadership: How One Person Makes a Difference

Many people are searching for ways to make a lasting impact and aren’t sure how — this was the impetus behind writing Impact, after all. In unexpected places, I find stories that remind me of my and Christen’s book.

On a recent mother-daughter trip to Miami Beach, we did an art deco walking tour by the Miami Design Preservation League (highly recommend!) South Beach is famous for having the largest collection of Art Deco architecture in the world. And while the famous architects were all men, did you know we have a woman named Barbara Baer Capitman to thank for saving the work? She moved to Miami Beach with her husband in 1973; he died two years later, and she had to decide whether to return home to New York or reinvent herself in Miami. She chose the latter, taking up the fight to save the long-neglected art deco buildings and finding her purpose.

In the ‘80s, interior designer Leonard Horowitz entered the picture, befriended Barbara (finding acceptance he didn’t get from his family, who shunned him for being gay), and told her these buildings needed a makeover. He created the “Miami Vice” style color palette, inspired by the ocean and sunshine of Miami Beach, to help revitalize the area and draw attention to save the architecture. The rest is history!

But we can’t take it for granted. I learned the Florida Legislature is stripping historic buildings of protection, just as they’ve stripped women and LGBTQ+ people of their rights. On a good walking tour, you step through the past while understanding the future is yours to write, with your community. (And once you start seeing the world through an #ImpactBook lens, you can’t stop!)

Motherhood: Embracing the Complexity

As anyone can tell by scrolling Instagram on Mother’s Day, motherhood brings up complex emotions. And wow, am I marveling at Ruthie Ackerman’s memoir, published this month: The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us. It’s one of the only books I’ve chosen to consume in Audible (I’ve known Ruthie a long time and had to hear her voice).

First, Ruthie is incredibly brave to bear her heart and soul to the world. Her story is unique, and yet, she writes in a way that lets us connect dots to pieces of our own reality. Second, she contextualizes her story with considerable research and other readings, helping us see the systems that shape our personal experiences. Third, this book deserves all the accolades. Mark my words, there will be a Reese Witherspoon Book Club sticker on it in the future.

Buy the book for you, buy for a friend!

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“But then,” she added, “someone else spoke up. And they said, ‘Yes. But some of us will become birds.’”

I’ve reflected on that dialogue nearly every week since. And sure, dinosaurs are a big part of my subconscious already, thanks to sweet Owen, but there is a reason this struck a chord with me.

You don’t have to work in the nonprofit sector to understand what I’m talking about; just think about how AI has turned industries upside down. It doesn’t take much to spiral into worst-case scenarios. And when I start to, I quiet my mind and think of the birds (which I can hear chirping outside my window as I type; thank goodness spring is here!). I am determined to be the leader of an organization that will fly.

This month’s newsletter is dedicated to harnessing that spirit of innovation.

Captured from my friend Kimothy Joy’s Instagram. Kimothy illustrated this lyric from a 22-year-old songwriter, Samantha Ebert, who is battling Lyme’s disease. April has been full of showers in NYC, matching the gloomy outlook of economic and political news. I’m trying to hold out for the flowers.

Leadership: Hate Won’t Win

If you’re craving inspiration, Mallory McMorrow’s Hate Won’t Win is for you (and the ideal companion to Impact!) It’s part memoir, part guidebook to effectively engage with your local legislature.

If you aren’t familiar with her: Mallory is a 38-year-old Michigan State Senator (who recently announced her run for the U.S. Senate). What struck me the most about her story is how, in her first term, she couldn’t pass a single bill, because the Republicans blocked every effort. After a Republican senator slandered Mallory, she gave a speech on the Senate floor that went viral, growing her a much bigger platform and voice. Mallory used her political stardom to fundraise for other local Democratic candidates; in the next election, she helped flip the Michigan Senate blue, and then her legislation (such as a life-saving ‘red flag’ gun protection law) could pass.

Rather than let her political career wither away with those defeats in her first term, she found a way to rise above. Hate Won’t Win left me thinking about how sometimes, the change we want to make isn’t possible until we lift others alongside us. Only then can we remove the barriers standing in our way.

Philanthropy: Ever-Elusive Feedback

70% of nonprofit leaders report that the political climate is negatively affecting their organizations; they also report weak communication from their existing funders (Center for Effective Philanthropy). Let alone prospective funders! Nonprofits work hard on strong proposals, then typically receive a rejection with little to no feedback.

I have a deep desire to fix this problem, from the other side, in my future. In the past month, I’ve had both wins and rejections (par for the course). Rejections are usually generic: “We received overwhelming applications.” “Your program is important, but not a fit at this time.”

It’s not fun for a grant manager to turn down programs they know need the funding to continue. But imagine if grantors still tried to strengthen the organizations they couldn’t fund, with feedback. If they sent their response along with a copy of the rubric they used, and how your org/application scored based on the materials. (I wonder how often they use rubrics? These are powerful tools for checking biases and aligning with strategy and values.) You could see how well they understood your programs, and maybe evaluate their strategy as much as they do yours. Feedback is rare. Perhaps you find the same if you’re job hunting; the power dynamics can be similar (the difference is, most employers don’t have a mission-driven reason to offer feedback, the way funders should). I appreciate funders feeling overwhelmed; but I see this as an opportunity to learn from nonprofits, how we maximize efficiency to address similar demands with care. Additionally, most funders have the advantage of hiring support staff to get this process right.

This is one of the reasons I love the Unfunded List - you may wish to share this link with a nonprofit you love. For a tiny fee, nonprofits can submit a grant proposal. A group of volunteer funders review and send back thoughtful comments; then a real person (!) hops on a call with you to discuss. Their website says: “Inclusive philanthropy is our passion.” More of this, please!

🎧 In My Ears on the Walk to Daycare…

• Meghan Markle’s Confessions of a Female Founder postcast; I so badly wanted to jump into the convo with two-time nonprofit founder Reshma Saujani!

• I listened to Sophia Bush interview Michelle Obama, who has a new life advice podcast IMO, hosted with her brother Craig. This has become a much healthier brain break for me than TV!

• I always perk up when a new episode of Sali Christeson’s Work Friends lands.

  

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Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

Last month, I spoke with a mentor about how more value is placed on what people from Big Places say, versus small organizations. She pushed back on that and said: “Tammy, in a small nonprofit, you have to get it right 98% of the time; there’s no cushion for big error. They can learn from you.”

If many people depend on you, you may relate to this. I’m reflecting this month on giving ourselves grace for the 2%. When it doesn't work out, and you still manage to land your complex, twisty-turny routine — whatever that means for you — 98% of the time. Not everyone does. Take time to celebrate that!

March Event Recap

The 69th CSW (Commission on the Status of Women), a week of global, gender-focused events in NYC, is underway. I prioritized 2 events:

• Girls’ Vision for Education: Malala Fund released a new report, created from consultation with 800 girls in 30 low- and middle-income countries. Takeaway: Girls want an education that supports ther independence and empowerment; they demand attention to menstrual health and school-related gender-based violence. I’m eager for more foundations to recognize this (and increase grantmaking to girl-centered mentorship programs, the best intervention).

• A Workshop on Radical Joy for Young Feminists: What a reprieve from “preaching to the choir” panels. UNGEI gave feminist leaders a chance to take care of our bodies and minds, with a dance-inspired session

  from Forward Space, a NYC-based studio. Takeaway: Don’t underestimate the value of adding movement-based sessions into your next conference or team retreat. The reflections women shared after this unexpected mid-day dance break revealed the more profound impact of the exercise.

• In addition, on Thursday night, I was invited to meet NYC Mayoral Candidate Zohran Momdani at Cynthia Nixon’s home! It was my first time hearing him speak. Wow. Zohran is the dynamic, visionary, values-driven leader needed to make NYC a more affordable haven for all. New Yorkers, don't forget to vote in the Mayoral Primary on June 24!

Philanthropy

Tickets for the 15th Anniversary celebration of She's the First are open! I hope you can be part of May 1st, from near or far.

Personal Joys

I'm officially signed up for a half marathon to celebrate my 40th birthday in Central Park on December 13! Planting the seed early in case you might like to join me. ☺ My efforts to come out of running retirement continue this spring!

On that note, my most joyful moment this month comes from the person who inspired me to run my first half marathon in 2013, Erin Leigh Patterson. I attended her beautiful, feminist wedding to Ben on International Women's Day! As a bonus, I overcame my silly fear of driving to get there, with encouragement from Michael & our pal Stephanie Florence in the passenger seat. Who doesn’t love celebrating love!

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.

Somehow, 10 years went by in a flash, and the past month alone has aged me by another decade (anyone else?). The executive orders, shunning of diversity and inclusion, and humanitarian crisis from the dismantling of USAID, just to name a few, have created immense stress.

But I also had positive moments of determination. I spent nearly half the last month outside of the U.S., surrounded by inspiring women leaders — among the business leaders in my International Women’s Forum fellowship one week (at INSEAD in France), to the grassroots women leaders in She’s the First’s Ellas al Frente program the next (in Guatemala). Being away from home that long was a big commitment, but I was immersed in my “North Star.” I was reminded women’s leadership can’t be erased. We can’t be taken down like a .gov website. Quite the opposite — as we rise, we lift others with us.

Leadership - on aligning your values…

The real values of companies and leaders are becoming abundantly clear. To ground yourself, it’s valuable to understand your core values and how you act on them. An IWF fellow told me about the Live Your Values Deck. Picking out cards activates the brain differently than approaching a blank journal page.

So far, I’ve enjoyed a self-reflection process that led me to pick out a “top 6” for myself, out of a deck of 78. You can use the cards to filter your priorities, stay focused, find your people, and resist Trump’s chaos strategy meant to distract and deplete us. It’s a nice complement to the exercises in my book, Impact.

Philanthropy - what it means to decolonzie…

I want to amplify Jaipreet Kaur’s LinkedIn post because “decolonizing philanthropy” is a critical concept. I’ve found this term doesn’t resonate with donors so I stick to describing what it means — investing in local organizations, for instance. Now, the attention the world is paying to the USAID funding freeze is a new opportunity to teach about systemic failures rooted in colonialism. Jaipreet does so powerfully with the graphic below, and she writes:

“I encourage you all to reflect on the organisations you support—what does their funding model look like? Do they truly commit to being locally led, or are they still operating within a colonial mindset of project-based funding? The future of sustainable development depends on shifting power and resources to those who know their communities best.”

Family - finding new firsts…

There was once a She’s the First t-shirt that asked “when was the last time you did something for the first time?” That’s been my mantra in planning weekend fun. In the last month, I did my first Monster Jam (Owen & I are Team Sparkle Smash!) and escape room (marriage team-building; we solved it with minutes to spare!) What should I add to our experiential wish list next?!

Worth a Read/Listen:

• 🎧 On January 20, the feminist movement lost a superhero: Cecile Richards, former president of Planned Parenthood, who died from brain cancer at age 67. I heard her speak at the Forbes Women’s Summit on September 11, and I wanted to hear her voice again. This 30-minute Life Stories podcast is a dose of inspiration to do everything you can in the fight for our rights (and still find joy).
  

• 📚 I finally read Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why it Matters. For many years, I worked with a unicorn named Katie Riley, the #1 fan of this book; she applied its principles to all our events. Now, I’m planning She’s the First’s 15th anniversary gala (hope you can come, May 1st in NYC!), and it’s important to me that we bond our community while raising funds to sustain vital girl-centered programs. While the book was published in 2018, its value has only accrued — and can be applied across philanthropic events, community organizing, or corporate meetings.
  

• 🎥 On Valentine’s Weekend, it was fun to watch Kinda Pregnant on Netflix, which equally made us burst into laughter and point gleefully at Brooklyn haunts.
  

  

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Why now? Honestly, I need a bit of levity and a creative outlet as I brace myself for this abomination of a presidential administration (while feeling heartbreak over the Southern California wildfires). Creating something that might bring a little bit of sunshine to my online community, if only one person, is meaningful.

I intend to be thoughtful, but not overthink it. To be inspirational, but also a bit vulnerable. To be both a leader and a follower of others I believe in. It’s like a mashup of Instagram and LinkedIn, a blend of personal and professional updates. I’ll send it on the 19th of every month. (The 19th is my birth date and thus lucky number…and it ties into an easy impact action; read to the end to find out.) Thanks for being with me for this experiment. Here we go!

Leadership - what I’m practicing…

Resilience. Christen and I wrote a whole chapter about it in our book, Impact. Strengthening this muscle helps us manage life’s never-ending ups and downs. I picked up a One Line a Day 5-year journal I abandoned in 2023, with a new focus: Every day, I write down something that is going right. Some days I have to think for a bit too long. But I can always find something, no matter how small, and that’s gradually building my resilience to remain action-oriented and hopeful, in a devastating news cycle. Here are other ideas to overcome the overwhelm.

Philanthropy - what I’m innovating…

Who holds the power: the person giving the money or receiving it? Who should? For the past couple of years, I’ve strived to be a “diplomatic disruptor,” shifting power dynamics in philanthropy, reimaginging partnerships with funders. My next opportunity is this February in Guatemala. I’m excited to host a two-day convening of funders, inside of She’s the First’s Ellas al Frente program for girl-centered community organizations in Central America. Funders will be immersed in this training event for grassroots leaders and girls, a valuable chance to listen directly to on-the-ground needs. My brilliant colleague Ceci Arriaza, She’s the First Director of Programs, and I will facilitate a special session for funders, uniting us in a strategy to address systemic issues that prevent more diverse leaders from rising to the top.

The week before Guatemala, I’ll be in France at the INSEAD business school, for my International Women’s Forum Fellowship. My Fellowship project will further sharpen my donor education skills. I plan to design a workshop, which I hope can be used by giving circles and similar groups - watch this space for more!

Family - how I’m making memories…

Hard to believe my sweet blonde baby turns 3 this week! He wants a robot birthday party. I want to slow down time! Turns out you can, sort of. The trick is doing less routine, more new things. Novelty helps us encode more memories, slowing down the perception of time, research finds. Over our Christmas break, and each weekend since, I challenged myself to do one new thing for the first time with Owen. I then turn these memories into Chatbooks Monthly Minis that we enjoy year-long.

Worth a Read/Listen:

📚 Ahead of International Women’s Day in March, I recommend The Everyday Feminist: The Key to Sustainable Social Impact - Driving Movements We Need Now More Than Ever. If you’re a She’s the First supporter, Latanya Mapp Frett (former CEO of Global Fund for Women) will remind you what a great decision it is to invest in grassroots women leaders.

I never read a Reese’s Book Club pick I didn’t like: We Will be Jaguars did not disappoint (a great bday gift from Michael!). It’s a captivating memoir of an Indigenous woman’s life in the Amazon rainforest and her activism journey to save it.

🎙️ “Listen to the Year’s Best Wisdom” from The Daily felt like a warm hug from a mentor, as I walked to daycare in the bitter cold. Emilie Aries’ Bossed Up episode “Create a Compelling Vision for Your Life in the New Year” prompts you to think about de-centralizing your job in your identity. (This relates to a tip I often give, to integrate your #1 cause or “North Star” in how you identify yourself).

Feel free to make this a two-way street, and tell me what’s up! 👇🏼 I’ll get back to you.

Every issue coincides with a monthly $19 donation to 19th News, an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy.