When to Trust the Mind and When to Trust the Quiet Warmth Inside

The best decisions are often born in the space where reason meets intuition.

Where the mind calculates, but the inner feeling whispers something deeper.

It’s fascinating how our decisions arrive through different channels long before we consciously make them.

A decision has to move through several phases, several filters.

Through understanding the essence of what we’re choosing.

Through questions about how much time, energy, and emotional capacity we’re willing to invest.

Through checking whether we’re in a stage of life where we trust our inner feeling or whether we even give it the space and time to speak, to warm us from within.

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When I Look Back

When I look back, I see how many of my early decisions were made purely on a rational basis.

Everything needed structure, logic, a clear equation behind it.

The goal was obvious.

The path to get there was almost irrelevant.

The result mattered.

Not the story that unfolded along the way.

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When We Choose Through Feeling

But when we choose through feeling, instinct, that subtle “sixth sense,” something shifts.

We stop focusing only on the destination.

We begin to notice the path.

The events, the people, the coincidences that appear along the way.

We stop fighting the current.

We allow life to carry us a little.

It’s like raising the sails and letting the wind guide us toward the destination – while we accept everything that comes:

• the beautiful,

• the challenging,

• the unexpected.

The goal is still there.

But it’s no longer the only thing that matters.

The lesson, the experience, the story that shapes us.

That becomes the real treasure.

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The Decision That Chooses Us Back

Maybe the right decision is always the one that holds both:

• the mind, which protects us, and

• the inner voice, which guides us.

When we learn to listen to both, life stops feeling divided into right and wrong.

It becomes a path we walk with more calm, more trust, and more courage.

And in those moments, we’re no longer choosing between the heart and the mind.

We’re choosing ourselves.

Until next time. TH

When We Feel It’s Time

There comes a moment in life when it’s no longer about whether we can stay where we are. It’s about whether we dare to move somewhere we’ve never been.

Some changes are painful but necessary.

When do we take off the training wheels from a child learning to ride a bike?

When do we put down the crutch that once gave us a sense of safety?

When do we step out of our comfort circle and into a new environment?

At first glance, it seems simple: when you no longer feel good, you get up and leave. But in reality, it’s not that easy.

Because memories, traditions, people, habits, and places hold us. Because safety, emotional, social, or material, keeps us rooted. And that’s exactly why moving on is hard.

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Why Change Is Harder Than It Seems

Change is a strange thing. On one hand, it calls us promising a new beginning, more freedom, more room to grow.

On the other hand, it scares us because it asks us to open, release, leave, end, and let go. And most of the time, it’s not the environment that needs to change.

It’s us.

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The Inner Look We Prefer to Skip

I talked about this with a friend in these days. We touched the part most people prefer to avoid: looking inward. That quiet, uncomfortable, but necessary moment that reveals where we’re stuck. And why.

Why do we avoid change even when we know it’s needed?

Why do we stay in comfort that no longer supports us?

Why do we analyze others more easily than ourselves?

Because we’re afraid of what we’ll find inside. Afraid of admitting things we’ve been pushing away.

Afraid that change will hurt.

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The Truth About Painful Change

But the truth is simple: change hurts because it moves us from the version of ourselves we know into a version we don’t know yet. And that transition is always uncomfortable.

It always requires courage. It always asks us to take off the “training wheels” even when we feel unprepared.

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The Most Beautiful Part: Space for Something New

Change doesn’t ask whether we’re ready. It only asks whether we’re honest with ourselves. And when we admit that something is ripe for a shift, the most beautiful part begins:

We don’t lose safety – we create new safety.

We don’t lose ourselves – we find a deeper version of ourselves.

We don’t lose support – we build our own.

Some changes hurt.

But the ones that are necessary always set us free.

Change doesn’t take away who you are.

It reveals who you’re ready to become.

Until next time. TH

When We First Step Into Leadership

When we first step into a leadership role, most of us are focused on ourselves.

On our success.

On our performance.

On proving that we can do it.

Some of us turn to perfectionism.

Others to control.

Some to micromanagement, not because we want to suffocate the team, but because we’re afraid of losing rhythm, clarity, or credibility.

But soon you realize something no one tells you at the beginning: if you try to hold every piece in your hands, you won’t grow as a leader.

And your team will grow even less.

Because what you’re really telling people is just one thing:

“I don’t trust you.”

And that’s the moment your real leadership journey begins.

Not when you get the title.

Not when you inherit a team.

But the moment you understand that leadership isn’t control.

Leadership is trust.

When You Start Leading Yourself First

When I was younger, I never imagined I would become a leader.

I saw myself as a specialist, someone who masters their field and stays there.

Leadership felt like something reserved for others.

But step by step, I began to understand that leadership is first something you carry within yourself.

Something you nurture.

Something that grows with you.

You nurture it through learning.

Through reading people who’ve walked similar paths.

Through observing.

Through being honest with yourself.

Through accepting that you don’t know everything but you can grow if you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone.

Because when you challenge yourself, you learn.

And when you learn, you discover yourself.

Your limits.

Your potential.

And most importantly: the people around you.

This is the foundation of true leadership:

• leadership development

• self‑awareness

• team growth

When Knowledge Turns Into Practice

You can’t call yourself a leader if no one grows when you’re around.

The most beautiful part of leadership isn’t power.

The most beautiful part is the moment you see someone grow beside you.

When you notice they haven’t needed your instructions for a long time. Only your trust.

A leader who doesn’t develop others doesn’t build the future.

They only build their own ego.

But a leader who lifts others leaves behind something that lasts longer than any project: a person, and people, who know how to lead forward.

And this only happens when you learn to see more in your team than tasks and results.

When you recognize people who are different from you, yet carry that rare combination:

• sense for people,

• the ability to listen,

• honesty,

• a desire to collaborate,

• and an understanding that the future is built on reciprocity.

That’s when you know you’ve found the right people for your succession.

People worth investing in.

People who will one day lift others the way you lifted them.

And when you recognize that, peace arrives.

Because you know your legacy isn’t projects, titles, or achievements.

Your legacy is the people who will know how to lead in their own way.

In their own rhythm, in their own style.

Leadership is not what you do alone.

Leadership is what you enable others to do.

Self‑Awareness as the Core of Leadership

Self‑awareness isn’t just knowing who you are.

Self‑awareness is daring to see the parts you don’t like.

Admitting where you’re strong and where you’re still a student.

Leadership begins where honesty with yourself begins.

When you’re willing to look at your patterns, your reactions, your fears.

When you understand why you want to control everything.

When you recognize when you’re leading from trust and when from insecurity.

Self‑awareness is the inner compass that tells you:

• when to step forward,

• when to step back,

• when to give space to others,

• when you need to calm yourself first,

• when your team is ready for more,

• and when you are the one who needs to grow first.

Without self‑awareness, a leader only reacts.

With self‑awareness, a leader creates space.

Space where others can grow.

Space where people feel safe.

Space where development happens. Not because of control, but because of trust.

And that’s why self‑awareness is the most powerful tool a leader has: because it allows you to see yourself before you start shaping others.

In the End

At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about titles, experience, or years in your career.

It’s about courage.

The courage to look inward.

The courage to let go of control.

The courage to trust the people walking beside you.

And the courage to let them move forward one day.

Stronger, more confident, and more prepared than you were when you started.

If someone grows because of you, you led well.

If many grow because of you, you left a mark.

And that is the only legacy that truly matters.

Until next time. TH

Keeping Our Hands on Everything

Keeping our hands on everything and being present in every moment. And then we wonder why we feel pressured.

But do we ever stop and ask ourselves where our limits are?

We set our own boundaries, yet in the excitement and drive to reach our goals, we often forget about ourselves. Most of the time, we take care of everyone around us, while we remain somewhere in the background.

It may sound harsh, but sometimes in life you have to be an egoist. The healthy kind with joy in your eyes, and with love and respect for yourself.

To take care of yourself especially when you’re under the most pressure. To say a loud NO to others, and with that, begin setting boundaries.

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When We Want to Control Everything

One of the biggest traps for ambitious people is the desire to control everything.

Every task, every process, every detail.

But the truth is simple: when we try to hold everything, we end up holding nothing well.

Micromanaging doesn’t only harm the team it harms us too. Because when we don’t trust others, we’re really not trusting ourselves. And when we try to carry everything alone, we eventually break.

Burnout isn’t the result of too much work it’s the result of too much control.

Trusting your team means trusting the process. It means accepting that someone will do something differently than you and that this is perfectly fine. It means allowing yourself to loosen your grip so others can grow.

And when they grow, you grow too.

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When the Comfort Zone Becomes Too Small

In life, we also need to step beyond our limits. In the comfort zone, everything is familiar and already achieved.

Growth doesn’t happen there. Growth happens where things squeeze us a little, hurt a little, scare us a little.

Over time, every person must grow and find their own place under the sun.

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How Do We Set Boundaries?

I’ve crossed my boundaries many times in life. And even though I paid a price for it, I wouldn’t choose differently today.

Because it was exactly in those moments when my limits were crossed and I felt discomfort that I grew and shaped myself.

These experiences are invaluable. They create stability, build foundations, and shape a person who knows what they don’t want in life.

And when you know what you don’t want, everything that isn’t yours naturally falls away.

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A Look at How to Set Boundaries

• A well‑prepared plan and achievable goals.

If goals are too high or too many, they can completely demotivate us.

Less is more. Always.

Because when we don’t reach our goals, we blame ourselves for being incapable or lazy. But the truth is: we simply took on too much.

• Someone who can “pull us out of the hole.”

When we start circling in the same loop, we need someone who sees the bigger picture.

Someone honest, without filters, who tells us things as they are. And we must be willing to hear it.

• A mid‑process check‑in.

Stepping away from the situation. Checking our body, sleep, emotions.

If something hurts, if we’re tense, if we’re not sleeping it’s a sign to slow down.

A pause isn’t a failure. A pause is a strategy.

• Breaking the goal into smaller milestones and rewarding ourselves.

We can’t always wait for praise from the outside. We must be our own biggest supporter.

We pat ourselves on the shoulder, look in the mirror, and say: “You’re doing great. Keep going.”

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When Life Overtakes Us

Life today bombards us with demands from the outside and from within. The world expects us to be fast, responsive, perfect. And we expect even more from ourselves: to handle everything, to always be strong, to always be available.

And this is where the biggest trap begins: chasing things that aren’t necessary, aren’t ours, and don’t nourish us. When we try to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one least of all ourselves.

Sometimes life overwhelms us not because it’s too hard, but because we’ve taken on too many roles, too many goals, too many responsibilities.

And we forget that it’s allowed to put things down, let go, and breathe.

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At the End

Boundaries are not walls that limit us.

Boundaries are doors we open when we choose to live more consciously, more healthily, and more in alignment with ourselves.

When we let go of control, we gain space.

When we trust others, we lighten our own load.

When we allow ourselves less, we gain more clarity, peace, energy.

And once we begin setting boundaries, something beautiful happens: life starts flowing more softly, more easily, more in tune with who we are.

Because real strength isn’t in being able to do everything.

Real strength is choosing what is truly worth your energy and what isn’t.

Until next time. TH

Half full or half empty?

There have been countless debates about this glass.

But in the end, it all depends on how you choose to look at situations in your life.

Are you a victim, or are you a victor?

The answer to that question is one you must find yourself.

When you choose to be a victor, it’s not because you want to compete with others.

The hardest competition you will ever face is the one you have with yourself.

When you’re ready to look inward and begin changing yourself, not the world around you, you choose the right player and the right game.

And once you’re ready to take that step, the real project finally begins.

It would be a shame not to look deeper into yourself.

There is so much potential within you.

You just have to find it and allow it to rise to the surface.

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You always have a choice

Every change begins with you.

And every shift happens the moment you admit to yourself that you do have a choice.

When we truly accept that we always have a choice, everything becomes a little lighter.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says it’s a mistake to have a Plan B because it distracts us from Plan A. And in many ways, he’s right. If we know we have something “in reserve,” we no longer commit to our main goal with the same dedication.

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When the goal becomes a burden

Today, we’re all obsessed with goals, achievements, and proving ourselves.

And that’s fine because I also believe that without a light at the end of the tunnel, we don’t move forward.

But when a goal becomes something we must achieve at any cost even if we suffer, or others suffer then it’s no longer our true goal.

That’s when we go against ourselves.

That’s when we start breaking just to prove something that may not even be ours to prove.

In life, it’s important to create opportunities.

These are often more meaningful than the goal itself.

Opportunities to grow.

To understand why certain patterns repeat.

To recognize when it’s time for silence, when for rest, and when for courage.

Opportunities to live on the way to our goals not just survive.

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Events are the path, not the obstacle

Goals live in the future.

Because of them, we often forget the moments happening here and now.

And these are the moments we later miss the most.

When do we realize this?

When something passes and can never return.

Like a parent who looks at their child and suddenly sees an adult and wonders why they didn’t spend more time together.

Tempus fugit.

Time flows. And we never get it back.

So yes, set goals of course.

But I swear by healthy goal‑setting, because I’ve experienced the toxic version, and it leaves marks on your health, your relationships, and your future.

In every process, professional or personal, we must never lose ourselves.

There is no price worth paying if it costs you your identity, your voice, or your authenticity.

Priceless.

Not even Mastercard can buy that.

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At the end

Perhaps the greatest victory is choosing not to compare yourself to others, but to the previous version of you.

And perhaps the greatest freedom is choosing a path that doesn’t drain you, but strengthens you.

The glass is always the same.

The difference lies in how we hold it and what we believe we can do with it.

Until next time. TH

The silence that matters

Not everything we do is visible. But everything we carry within ourselves and for others matters.

Sometimes we feel we need to be loud, noticeable, present at every step. As if the value of our work could be measured only through applause or reaction.

But I keep asking myself:

How loud do we really need to be to be seen?

And do we even need loudness to prove anything at all?

A large part of our work in relationships, in teams, in HR, in life is not loud. It’s not spectacular. It’s quiet, almost invisible.

It’s the work of presence. The work of listening. The work of holding space for others when they need support, understanding, or simply someone who doesn’t judge and doesn’t rush to fix. Someone who is just there.

When we are consistent, when we act from trust rather than from the need to prove ourselves, something important happens: people begin to trust us. Not because of grand gestures, but because of small, repeated actions that build safety and connection. And this invisible part of our work often makes the biggest difference.

When we realize how small our frame really is

We often don’t even notice how small the frame is in which we think. We get used to our patterns, our “four puzzle pieces” that fit together nicely but at some point, they can also limit us.

Then comes a turning point when a light switches on. That quiet, inner light that invites us to pause and ask ourselves:

Is this really all I can see?

Is this really all I can become?

Is this truly what I want right now?

These questions don’t come from doubt but they come from courage. From the need to grow, because we know we are capable of more. Because we know that on the path we choose, we will learn something new. Even if parts of it feel uncomfortable.

Willingness, not intelligence

The difference between a closed and an open mind is not intelligence, it’s willingness. The willingness to expand our edges, break down walls, add new connections, and allow different perspectives.

Growth is never comfortable. But it is liberating. If it were easy, we wouldn’t value it. It wouldn’t leave a mark. Just like many beautiful things that pass us by every day and we often don’t notice them until they begin to fade from our lives.

When silence and growth meet

The invisible work of presence and the courage to expand our inner boundaries are, in truth, part of the same story. Both require silence. Both require honesty. Both require us to pause and look inward.

When we hold space for others, we learn to hold space for ourselves.

When we expand our frame, we expand the space we can offer others.

When we grow, the relationships around us grow as well.

When we go deeper into ourselves, we become more willing to go deeper with others. Because we begin to see that the world does not revolve around us alone. It becomes clear that it’s good, even necessary, to have others present in our world.

And when we understand this, we become more willing to negotiate, to adjust, to consider how our decisions affect the wider community, not just our own ego or comfort. Our choices become less about us and more about the impact they create.

Conclusion

Perhaps the greatest growth is the one that happens in silence. When no one sees it, when there is no applause, no external validation. Yet this is the growth that shapes us the most.

And perhaps the greatest presence is the one we don’t notice until we begin to live more consciously, more openly, more connected.

A few questions that follow us throughout this journey, and whose answers we find only when we truly look inward:

What is encouraging us, right now, to step outside our frame?

The desire to grow, to learn, to build confidence. Because when we step outside our frame, we begin to see the world around us and we realize that others face similar challenges. These challenges are not ours alone. Through conversation, we find solutions, create plans, and pave the way toward our goals.

And where could this growth take us, if we truly allowed it?

Beyond our boundaries, certainly. Growth leads us to new paths and brings new people into our small world. With new people and new environments, we challenge ourselves to evolve and explore different directions in life.

Even when we think we already know a lot, time gently shows us how much more there is to discover. And only then are we ready to learn and expand our horizons. Only then does our puzzle turn and find its matching piece.

A connection that fits in perfect symbiosis.

Until next time. TH 🫶

When you first encounter an illness that cannot be seen

When I was first confronted with an illness that cannot be seen, heard, or noticed, I realized, many, many years later, that in a way I am grateful I had the chance to be part of it. And even then, I was involved only indirectly, certainly not personally.

Invisible demons and the individuals who carry them

I am talking about mental illness, something many individuals face. And this time I want to write about it, because I know many wonderful and beautiful individuals who struggle and fight their demons every single day.

On the other hand, I also know a few psychotherapists who help them in incredibly effective and meaningful ways. To me, this is one of the most difficult professions. Because you must first absorb all the fears of another person in order to understand where one individual is. What is happening in his body, what is real and what is not, and what is truly going on in his mind. Sometimes, from our perspective, it all seems somewhat unreal.

My ex‑husband often told me that I completely chose the wrong field of study. I should have chosen better and studied psychology. Because I feel people and understand them in my own way better than an average person. And I take pride in that. Maybe because I was exposed to this in my family already as a young woman.

When this illness crept into my parents’ home, my first family, I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t understand why us (a completely normal reaction for anyone) and what it meant.

Why is emotional pain so invisible?

Because when we catch a bacterial infection, it shows up in our blood. When we break a leg, they immobilize it and put it in a brace or cast. When we catch a viral infection, our temperature rises and our head starts to hurt.

But when the soul breaks, nothing can be seen. A person cannot show anything, and certainly cannot explain the storm happening inside his body and mind.

Because people struggle to believe. Because people see you as completely fine. Because people with such illnesses are incredibly strong despite their broken soul. Because they are closed off and don’t want to talk about such things. Because it’s their issue and they respond “I’ll handle it myself.” Because they don’t know how to ask for help. Because if they do ask for help, it feels like a sign of weakness. Because they want to be perfect and accepted at any cost.

Because the world wants us to be beautiful, thin, perfect, smiling, always full of energy and confidence.

How confidence is born

What is confidence, really?

Confidence is not a single decision. It is not the moment a person wakes up and says, “Now I am confident.”

It is more like a plant, slow, uneven, sometimes fragile, sometimes surprisingly strong.

Confidence is born as a seed

Every person is born with a certain temperament, a basic sensitivity and courage. This is the first, tiny part of confidence. A potential, not a finished product.

In childhood, it receives soil

Parents, caregivers, first relationships. These are the hands that hold us when we cannot yet stand. If a child hears that they are worthy, capable, loved, a sense of belonging begins to form. If they don’t hear this, confidence does not disappear, it simply grows more slowly and much more cautiously.

In adolescence, confidence receives wind

This is the time when a person first asks himself: “Who am I, separate from others?”

And this is where confidence begins to form as something personal, not inherited. First successes, first failures, first feelings of personal strength. All of this becomes material for inner resilience.

In adulthood, confidence takes shape

Confidence is not final. It is something that changes, grows, sometimes falls apart and then rebuilds. A person builds it through experiences, relationships, work, boundaries, losses, victories. And the most beautiful part – it’s never too late to strengthen it.

The influence of parents: the first voice we carry within

Parents are the first to tell us who we are, even before we tell ourselves. Their words become our inner voice. Their fears become our doubts. Their warmth becomes our sense of safety.

But even if parents didn’t know how to give the support we needed, that does not define our destiny. Adulthood gives us the chance to rewrite our inner voice, soften it, and turn it into something kinder.

Confidence is therefore a combination of:

• the seed we are born with,

• the soil we receive,

• the wind that shapes us,

• and the decisions we make later.

When confidence disappears in the fog of illness

A person who struggles with mental illness often loses touch with his inner strength. Not because he doesn’t have it, but because it is covered by the fog that the illness brings.

Confidence is not absent; it is simply out of reach. And that is why it is so important that people around that person do not react with judgement, but with understanding. Because sometimes the greatest help is when someone sees what the person cannot currently see in himself.

How to be there for someone who is suffering

And then some of us form eternal questions:

• How do we react when someone confides in us about such an illness?

• What do we say and how do we respond?

• Do we need to fix anything or give advice?

We must not avoid such things. We must talk about them. These individuals simply need to be listened to. Often, only physical presence is needed. Giving advice is not good, because those pieces of advice fit our character, and at that moment we do not know what is happening inside the other person.

Listen and ask, so the person can open up and share what these demons are and how big they are. How far they reach and what can they cause inside someone. So, we don’t cause even more harm than the person is already carrying.

In the end

I always return to the thought that the greatest gift we can give one another is simple human presence. Not perfection, not solutions, not instant answers – just being there. Not running away when things get hard. Not closing our eyes when someone is falling apart in front of us. Not searching for quick fixes but allowing a person to unfold in his own rhythm. Sometimes that is the only thing keeping someone above water.

And perhaps these are the greatest lessons of mental struggles: that they teach us slowness, compassion, and humility. They remind us that we are all fragile, all vulnerable, all on a journey. That confidence is not armor, but a gentle inner light that sometimes hides, yet never truly goes out. And when someone else holds it for a moment on our behalf, something incredibly beautiful can happen: a person realizes that he is not alone.

Until next time. TH

When Inspiration Falls Silent

It has been a month since I last published anything. Maybe it was a lack of inspiration, maybe a lack of time. Each of us has our own reasons. But time itself shouldn’t have such power over us, because we know that consistency is what creates continuity. So why does this period of emptiness appear. This stretches without ideas or topics to write about.

Have you ever asked yourself that.

And how do we break through this mental drought?

And where do we even begin again?

When You Return to Yourself

And then I look back and realize I predicted this exact moment in a short essay I wrote in August 2025. I knew there would come a time when I would stare at a blank page (metaphorically speaking), waiting for words to rise from my grey cells, for inspiration to be fed, and for sentences to start forming into a new story.

And here I am now, looking at an empty screen, yet with a head full of thoughts and ideas. So, I look back at the year 2025, which left us a day ago.

New Year’s Eve: The Day That Opens the Door

New Year’s Eve has always felt fascinating and mysterious to me. Because you never know what the new year will bring. Because 365 days of opportunities and new beginnings are waiting for us along with a few bad days we’d rather forget or erase. And there were quite a few of those this year. Which is normal, because life isn’t a fairy tale; it’s a completely real adventure. Sometimes with a rough edge.

And that’s okay, because that’s how we grow stronger and learn something new. If we’re never pushed out of our comfort zone, nothing happens and our mind never matures. It simply doesn’t reach adulthood.

Why We Must Move the First Tile

We know we have to start something, do something, otherwise neither willpower nor inspiration will have anything to feed on. And food gives energy – the fuel that drives everything and everyone in this world. That’s why we must pass through different zones of (dis)comfort, and for that we need the first step. A decision that sparks the thought that if we want change, we must do something different. Because with the same habits and the same actions, the result is always the same. There is no change.

What Do Zones Beyond Comfort Actually Mean?

1. Comfort Zone – the warm nest that lulls us to sleep

When we’re in this zone, it feels like our warm nest. Everything is familiar, everything is clear, and we don’t need to try very hard. We’re used to everything; routine follows us everywhere, and it feels wonderful. Our brain doesn’t need to work much, nor does the muscles in our body. We think we’re safe, but in the long run we slowly decline and fall behind.

And then we ask ourselves: do we really want to live like this. Because without effort, there is no reward and even less growth.

2. Fear Zone – the wall we must break through

When we step out of the first circle, we crash into the wall of fear. Nothing is familiar there. We fear failure, we fear that people will say we don’t know enough. That we can’t meet the expectations others so easily attach to our identity. Expectations kill every attempt at hope and every desire for progress. Because expectations live only in our minds or in the minds of others, while life itself is happening freely on the playground of open thoughts.

3. Learning Zone – when we take the bull by the horns

When we erase expectations from our mind and realize that fear without action leads nowhere, we become ready for real learning and discovery. Here we face our fears and all the skeletons in our closets. In this zone, we don’t look away – we look truth in the eye. Or better said, we take the bull by the horns. Through action and learning, we gain new skills and tackle even the hardest challenges.

4. Growth Zone – the place where life actually happens

Here we find our purpose and the reason behind everything we do. Here we begin to live what we once dreamed of. We start achieving goals. The ones that waited in a drawer for far too long, begging to be brought to light. We feel like heroes when we reach them, and we feel proud of ourselves.

Even if no one praises us, it doesn’t matter anymore, because we know our worth and our capability. We pat ourselves on the shoulder and say: “You did this beautifully. Look how far you’ve come. Reward yourself and set new goals that bring you fulfillment.”

When Fear Turns Into Expectation

Through all these phases, we’re guided by an immense will and belief in ourselves. That we can do it, and that even if we don’t know what tomorrow brings, we are capable of facing whatever comes. We’re simply not afraid anymore. Fear never disappears completely and that’s good, because it protects us from crossing dangerous boundaries.

But after each zone, fear slowly transforms into expectation. Expectation of moments that will enter our lives and carry us through even the steepest paths.

That’s when a new energy awakens in us – one that gives us momentum and drive. Because as Keanu Reeves says: “Energy can’t be created or destroyed, and energy flows. It must be in a direction, with some kind of internal, emotive, spiritual direction. It must have some effect somewhere.”

Therefore, we should make an impact. We have to make it count at some point.

When We Understand That Days Make a Life

Through experiences and people who have crossed our path and left a mark, we come to understand that the way we spend our days is the way we live our life.

And if we stay in our comfort zone, nothing new or interesting ever happens. We won’t meet steep paths that challenge us, only a flat, empty plain. And the plain is boring. Because life, and everything that happens in it, including leadership, is like riding a bicycle.

When we’re on flat ground, a hill eventually appears. And then we know we must push the pedals to climb to the top. Because from the top, everything becomes clearer. The height gives us perspective. We must look at things from all angles if we want to analyze and understand them.

Argumentation is essential in every challenge, because only then can we approach things analytically and set new milestones. Without them, we don’t know how far we can go or whether we’re even on the right path. Every path leads somewhere, but if it’s not in our direction, we waste time on things that were never meant for us.

Change Begins Where Comfort Ends

Leadership never emerges in the comfort zone. That’s where management happens – maintaining what already exists, repeating what is known, keeping the rhythm steady. A leader is born the moment they step into the unknown, when they dare to take the first step outside the safe circle and show they are ready to grow. Leadership is always an act of courage, not a privilege of position.

A Leader Is the One Who Walks Through Fear First

When a team looks at their leader, they don’t look for perfection, but they look for the ability to face fear. A leader who dares to admit they don’t know everything, who steps into the fear zone and stays there long enough to learn, gives the team the greatest gift: an example. They show that vulnerability is part of the process, not a weakness. And people follow the one who dares to be human.

A Leader’s Growth Determines the Growth of the Team

When a leader enters the learning zone and then the growth zone, it opens the door for others. A leader who grows creates a space where others can grow too. When he/she moves out of the comfort zone, the entire system shifts. That’s why a leader’s personal growth is always directly connected to the development of the team, the culture, and the results. A leader who stays in comfort stops the flow of energy. A leader who moves forward sets starts it.

Closing Thought

Looking back, I see that every zone, every phase, and every step outside my comfort shaped me more than I ever expected. Not because of perfection, but because of the courage to move forward even when I didn’t know what awaited me. And that is the essence.

Life, work, and leadership are never linear. They are a path that reveals itself step by step, each time we dare to leave the safe circle. My wish is that we all allow ourselves to step into the unknown more often. Because that is where the stories begin – the ones we will one day tell with the greatest pride.

Until next time. TH

When Life Turns Unexpected

So much can happen in our minds. We prepare plans, convince ourselves we will achieve them, and then something unexpected arrives and turns everything upside down. It can feel as if the ground has been pulled out from beneath our feet.

Perhaps it’s a colleague who is facing major surgery and doesn’t yet know how successful it will be. Or someone close to you who suddenly loses a partner overnight and must carry forward family plans while caring for a teenage child. Or another person who struggles with psychological trauma, even while firmly rooted in this beautiful world, yet unable to find peace in their soul. Sometimes it’s simply because chemical processes take their own time, following rhythms that don’t align with the pace of our lives.

The Plans We Hold

I believe all these people had some kind of plan, some continuity. They believe in tomorrow, perhaps better than yesterday. They believe they will reach their goals and even surpass them. They believe in family, friends, and colleagues. After all, we spend so much time with colleagues that even in the workplace we can form deep bonds. Sometimes even finding a soul twin.

I’ve experienced this myself. Life teaches us that people enter our circle for a reason. They arrive when our lives need us to learn something new, or when we are ready to pass on wisdom and receive lessons that will ease our future. They strengthen us and remind us that sometimes our picture of reality has been completely distorted.

A Sobering Realization

And then comes a small shock, or better said, a sobering moment. You realize the world does not revolve around you. Sometimes you must revolve around others, weaving through life’s obstacles. These obstacles are not only personal struggles but also challenges carried out in our work environment.

For those of us employed in organizations, even with strong values and respect for individuals, events still touch us. Especially for those whose lives revolve around people, daily interactions, collaborations, and resolving conflicts (or as I prefer to call them, “searching for agreements”). Where there are people, there are differences in opinion, perspectives, and solutions. Some choose shortcuts, others take the long road, believing it guarantees stronger outcomes and a better future.

Do We Really Need Plans?

And so, I return to the question: is it good to have plans?

We all know the advice: set your plans high enough to motivate yourself to reach them. I understand this well. I’ve always set plans, only to see them collapse when illness suddenly appears around the corner.

But truly: what guidance can we give to someone young, just starting their journey?

How do you set a plan correctly, while leaving space for inevitable changes, even when you don’t know what variations might arise?

Professional Perspectives on Planning

From a professional standpoint, the research is clear:

• Strategic planning must adapt: Traditional plans often become rigid documents. Organizations succeed when they treat planning as a living process — revisiting and adjusting goals regularly (1).

• Change management as a skill: Effective leaders don’t just design plans; they prepare their teams for change. Adaptability depends on transparent communication and participative management (2).

• Shorter cycles of review: McKinsey notes that in times of radical transformation, leaders must rethink traditional tools and embrace shorter, iterative cycles of planning and reflection (3).

• Balance between stability and agility: Adaptive techniques, like coaching, mentoring, and open communication, help retain employees and maintain productivity during change (4).

• Psychological safety matters: Plans succeed when people feel safe to raise concerns and suggest adjustments. Without trust, even the best plan collapses.

Planning is a bridge between vision and reality:

• Vision gives direction.

• Planning gives structure.

• Adaptability keeps the plan alive.

A plan is like a map that guides us across the landscape, even when the path suddenly changes.

Planning as a Living Map

We often think of a plan as something fixed, but it’s a living map. In a world of constant change, the art of planning lies not in rigid control, but in balancing structure with adaptability. This reflection explores how leaders, and all of us, can design plans that guide us forward while leaving space for the unexpected.

With planning, you cannot predict every detail, but you can be prepared for change. In today’s short cycles, the strongest plans combine clarity with flexibility, offering direction while leaving room for surprises.

Personal Perspectives on Planning

From a personal standpoint, things are not so different.

They say we make plans so we can change them. Just as in business, so in life – future plans must leave flexibility for unexpected events. When the unexpected happens, we cannot think clearly at first. To protect ourselves and our loved ones, we must go with the flow of events. Even if they are painful, we must experience them to understand what it means to be there, and why we don’t want to remain in that place.

The most important thing is to spend as little time as possible in that phase. To avoid falling into discouragement or despair, because once caught in that cycle, it becomes harder to see the bigger picture. That’s when we need someone to pull us out.

It’s important to react and return to the plan we set long ago. If life’s rhythm has changed, we must adjust the plan but not discard it entirely. Unexpected events may make it imperfect, but it still contains valuable components we can use. Some parts we adapt, some we replace, and we can add new milestones. We can even ask family or friends to help. There is nothing wrong with sharing doubts with those close to us. They know us well and often see clearly what we can achieve.

At the End: Plans as Paths

Plans are like paths we draw. Sometimes the traces are erased, sometimes they lead us farther than we imagined. What matters is that we set them, follow them, and remain ready for change.

Life never flows in a straight line, but along winding roads that teach us patience, adaptability, and gratitude. And that is the beauty – finding balance in every moment between structure and freedom, between planning and surprise.

Sources:

(1) Achieving Organizational Goals Through Strategic Planning and Adaptation: A Theoretical Investigation: https://sciencepublishinggroup.com/article/10.11648/j.ijebo.20251302.11.

(2) The Effect of Change Management on Organizational Adaptability in The Age of Technology: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/385563091_The_Effect_of_Change_Management_on_Organizational_Adaptability_in_The_Age_of_Technology.

(3) Change is changing: How to meet the challenge of radical reinvention: https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/change-is-changing-how-to-meet-the-challenge-of-radical-reinvention.

(4) Navigating Organizational Change: A Comparative Study of Adaptive Management Techniques and Their Effects on Employee Retention and Productivity: chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.researchpublish.com/upload/book/Navigating%20Organizational%20Change-10052023-4.pdf.

Until next time. TH

How fast can technology advance? Why do we look at the new generation as a frightening leap forward, one that perhaps has no future?

Are our children really that strange, and are we, as parents, the dinosaurs?

I love that phrase – parent dinosaurs.

It’s a reflection on reality and everyday life, something we all face, while asking ourselves what the future might bring.

Every new generation seems stranger than the one before. I always saw my parents as old‑fashioned and could never understand why they didn’t grasp certain “modern” things. And then you become a parent yourself and realize you’ve become just as strange and “old‑fashioned” as they were.

What a generational divide, what an evolution of humanity. Imagine life when modernization wasn’t even a concept – when existence unfolded in the wild and only later in caves. Each generation has been more advanced than the last. And with that progress, step by step over millions of years of evolution, we’ve arrived at this point where technology often separates us instead of bringing us together.

I believe that with every decade, the cycle of change grows shorter.

What does that mean?

That changes are more frequent, and in today’s world, almost expected.

But have these cycles started chasing us?

When nothing happens quickly enough, we begin searching for impulses, forcing time forward just to accelerate change.

Don’t you feel the same?

We are so embedded in this era of constant change that we crave shorter cycles, even as we complain about the speed of it all. We can no longer surrender to stillness, be alone with ourselves, or simply read a book, an article, or a study. Instead, we chase impulses that instantly satisfy our craving for vibrations, for stimulation — just to pump dopamine through our veins.

And then we loudly complain about Generation Z, claiming they are unsocial, detached, glued to their phones and headphones.

But let’s be honest, with all respect to those of us older than Gen Z – we are no different. Even as adults who feel more responsible, we still walk with phones in front of our faces, looking like zombies on parade. Dopamine drives us forward, convincing us that this lifestyle is right, normal, inevitable. Cycles catch us everywhere, in every part of life.

This week, I completed an intensive leadership training program. We spoke about these rapidly changing cycles and how they affect leadership. Did you know that your team members expect you, as a leader, to change and grow just as quickly as the cycles themselves? That means investing heavily in yourself and in leadership knowledge – leading by example. For me, this points directly to servant leadership.

This approach involves behaviors like deep listening, empowerment, and developing others. A leader’s success is measured by the growth and development of their followers – their team members.

It’s not about you, I t’s about others. It’s always about others.

As leaders, we must recognize the characteristics of servant leadership:

• Focus on people: A deep commitment to each individual’s growth.

• Serve first: The motivation to serve others, which leads to the aspiration to lead.

• Empowerment: Offering autonomy and decision‑making power.

• Listening: Truly understanding the needs and perspectives of others.

• Flexibility and openness.

• Building relationships and community in the workplace.

As leaders, we must ask ourselves: are we ready for servant leadership?

Because leadership is not about us – it’s about others. About the people in our teams, with whom we must build trust and authentic relationships. Without that, there is no leadership, and no one will follow. If no one follows you, you are not a leader.

A leader must embrace change, encourage innovation, understand individuals and the business, and always return to the essential question: Why are we doing this?

Where are we going?

How will we grow?

Because as leaders, we must calm the fast‑changing cycles so our teams can feel confident in pursuing shared goals. Above all, they must feel psychological safe, coming to work with joy, energy, and the belief that they can make a difference, leave a mark.

That is the leader’s role – to steady the cycles and adapt. Period.

“Children are better off having a parent who works into the night in a job they love than a parent who works shorter hours but comes home unhappy.”

Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last Deluxe: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

And when I return to the image of the child who, instead of painting bison on cave walls, draws symbols his father cannot understand, I remember: change is necessary. The problem is not the shortening of cycles, but the fact that we must adapt. We must be agile in our personal lives and in leadership.

Just as the father in the cave once led a team of hunters, ensuring survival for the community, leaders must face change today as well. Above all, they must ensure a smooth transition between cycles.

Until next time. TH

I am sitting by the lake, gazing into the blue surface, and I am reflecting.

On people, and how different we are.

How sometimes we think we’ve found our meaning yet still wander in the dark.

But at the end of every tunnel, there is always light.

The brightest light, one that can carry us far.

To the place where controlled imagination ends.

To the place where a new world of childlike imagination opens.

Like Alice in Wonderland – where there is no order or logic.

Where the world is full of nonsensical situations and confrontations with questions of identity, meaning, and rules.

Where thought and logic share the common denominator of reality and the response of the real world.

But then you long to dive into the world of imagination and escape the real one.

And you lean toward the imaginary world,

where you can be as free as a child.

A child without any worries,

who believes in goodness and in every fleeting moment of joy.

And perhaps it is right there, in this parallel world,

that the key for adults is hidden.

To remind us how to believe,

how to explore without fear.

How to find wonder, kindness,

and hope for a better tomorrow in every person.

Because tomorrow is not meaningless, even if it is not promised.

Because for tomorrow there exists hope for time,

whether measured or relative.

And the more we try to escape relativity,

the more we always find ourselves there.

In relativity and in mediocrity, there is the best balance between excellence and goodness.

And perhaps this is the true secret of life: to discover beauty in mediocrity,

freedom in relativity, and in imagination that bridge which connects us to the child within.

For the child always remains in us, even if it grows a little older.

But in the soul and in depths,

it stays playful and full of boundless imagination.

Because it believes in tomorrow without the burdens of today.

Because tomorrow is a new day,

full of challenges and new people.

And such days are the most beautiful,

because you can play new roles and discover your own limits.

And when you look within,

you realize you have not lost your path but found a bridge.

A bridge between reality and dreams,

between reason and heart, between yesterday and tomorrow.

Until next time. TH

“Time does not exist – we invented it. Time is what the clock says. The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

~ Albert Einstein ~

What does the relativity of time even mean?

Einstein also said that time is relative. And I’ve always wondered what relativity actually means. So, I started thinking, stretching my grey cells, and somehow I arrived at the conclusion that time truly is relative:

• For someone waiting for something or someone – time feels unbearably long and endless.

• For someone rushing to finish a task – time is incredibly fast, even too fast.

• For someone in pain – time is mercilessly slow, dragging like the longest rope in the world.

• For someone in love – time is short, because they want to stay in their beloved’s embrace as long as possible and even the time, they’re given feels too brief.

• For someone who has lived a lot and is nearing the end, tired of it all — time feels immeasurably long.

• For profit-driven companies – time is the only enemy because time is money.

But time has its own laws, which simply can’t be replaced by anything else. Even if we made a pact with the devil himself – time would still flow in the same way. Not faster, not slower, but optimally.

The beauty of being average

And then I return to our dear Albert Einstein – to me, an extraordinary human being. A man who truly lived his dreams and shaped his life the way he envisioned it. Without the pointless rules of everyday life (though he absolutely immortalized scientific laws). I believe he often felt strange in a world of mediocrity. Yet he left a monumental trace among us the so-called average ones.

And before I return to Einstein again – why is mediocrity today seen as something awful, strange, and to be avoided?

Why do we all want to be above average?

Maybe we can more easily stand out?

Aren’t we all so similar that we could proudly say we are excellent mediocrity?

If I focus only on myself, I can’t speak for others because I don’t walk in your shoes and my heart doesn’t beat to your rhythm, I am a deeply average person. And believe it or not I’m very proud of my mediocrity. Maybe I’m a very good version of average, and I like that label.

Time as a human construct

So, let’s return to Einstein’s earlier thought – he reminds us that time might just be a human construct. A way to try to understand the flow of life. Clocks measure moments but not feelings, not meaning, not inner transformation. Past, present, and future may be illusions we maintain to make sense of the world. And for each of us time flows differently – in the rhythm of the heart, memory, loss, bitterness, or hope.

Especially hope!

The relativity of felt time

For someone who hopes, time is immeasurably long – even infinite, as long as hope is alive. Hope carries them through all obstacles and dark moments. Because hope is their light – the light that will guide them out of the tunnel. And such a person finds hope in even the darkest events or situations. Because hope is always the last to die.

We can define hope as a light and a guide that drives us forward. And here we are to pull ourselves out of any negative situation, we must find hope and that positive force that will pull us ahead. Like a ski lift on the endless whiteness of a slope.

And how is this connected to time and perhaps relativity?

The beauty of time’s flexibility

Perhaps this is the true charm of relativity that time is not uniform, but diverse. Like water adapting to the shape of the vessel, it’s poured into. For one person a minute is an eternity; for another, a day flashes by. Time isn’t measured in seconds but in feelings. In the depth of experience in the intensity of a moment, in the silence between two heartbeats.

Time can be a warm embrace that lasts only seconds yet stays in memory forever. It can be a long night that never ends because it’s accompanied by pain. It can be a brief glance that changes the course of a day. Or a long drive that feels like meditation because we’re finally alone with ourselves.

And when we pause when we truly listen, we realize that time isn’t what the clock shows – but what we feel when the world stops for a moment. When we stop fighting it and start accepting it. When we stop measuring and start living. Then time is no longer an enemy, but an ally. No longer a frame but a space in which our being unfolds.

Time as an ally

Time may be an illusion but it’s also the truest companion of our existence. Invisible, yet present. Immeasurable, yet felt. And if we really did invent it then we can also give it meaning. With hope, with love, with the awareness that every moment is a gift. No matter how fast or slow it flows.

Maybe time is exactly this: the space between two thoughts, between two steps, between two glances. A space where life happens. Where feeling is born, where change occurs, where connection is made. And if we learn to feel it, we no longer need to measure it.

Then hours don’t count – presence does.

Days don’t count – depth does.

Years don’t count – only what we became within them.

Time can be our ally, if we stop trying to control it and instead invite it in. Like a quiet companion who doesn’t rush us but gently reminds us that we are here.

That we are breathing.

That we are feeling.

That we are in this moment, the only one that is truly real.

Until next time. TH

The Body as a Teacher

One morning I woke up, and my body no longer obeyed me. My right leg simply stopped responding, accompanied by a dull, relentless pain in the muscles – especially the tibialis anterior, as I later learned. My right foot wouldn’t cooperate. I dragged it behind me like a lifeless limb that had decided overnight it no longer wanted to participate.

Could this really be happening to me?

I’m an athlete. I’m in peak condition. I’ve been doing consistent cardio training, my heart is strong and well-prepared, and I’ve never had issues with movement or muscle pain. I’ve logged countless kilometres on a bike – mostly on a Spinning bike, long marathons, some lasting up to seven hours, completed without a hitch.

Marathons that test your physical and mental endurance. When your legs begin to give out, you switch on your mental strength and push through. You override the pain and muscle cramps to reach your goal. Because you chase that goal at any cost. Even at the cost of your body and health.

What is happening to me?

And I didn’t give in to the office to grab my laptop, because I had so much to finish, because my colleagues were counting on me. Then I went straight to the ER. I returned home only to pick up a few things and headed back to the hospital.

“Ma’am, this is serious. You can’t go to work. You need intravenous pain therapy.”

“No, I can’t stay in the hospital. I have so much to finish at work. I just can’t!”

“Ma’am, you need to stop and think. This is about you. It’s serious.”

“So, what are my options?”

“You can come in daily for intravenous pain therapy and go home afterwards, but no work. If you stay hospitalised, we can get you an MRI in a few days to see what’s wrong with your spine. Are you in pain?”

“It hurts a lot, but it’s not my spine, it’s my right leg. It feels like I’m tied between two horses pulling in opposite directions.”

“That’s exactly why we need the MRI, to see what’s happening with your spine.”

So, I stayed. Within the hospital walls, with fluid running through my veins to ease the pain, just enough to sleep at night. I was sedated, flooded with chemical cocktails that would linger in my body for ten years or more. But I needed it. Because the pain was tearing me apart. It hurt. Deeply.

“Disc protrusion – herniation. It might calm down. Pain therapy can work miracles.”

I believed that. But day by day, my right foot worsened. It became less responsive – wooden.

My body had stopped me. It said: Enough.

But it didn’t stop punishing me, it stopped inviting me to listen. To become transparent with myself and my feelings. Because honesty with others is far easier than honesty with oneself.

And there I met Rheya, whom I’ve written about in When Angels Appear Among Us. A beautiful soul, with whom I’m still in touch. I helped her avoid a wheelchair. She had the same diagnosis as me – disc protrusion with a pinched nerve on the right side. Her right foot was blocked. If not resolved surgically, we were both headed for wheelchairs.

One Monday, the 26^th of a spring month, we met again in the hospital with the same diagnosis – urgent surgery. I ran into my neurosurgeon, who happened to be on call that day (yes, I’d had prior spine issues).

“Ma’am, where have you been until now?”

“At the hospital, receiving pain therapy. They thought it would help calm the situation.”

“Ma’am, you need surgery today. I’ll do everything I can to save your right leg.”

And that’s when you freeze. You realize it’s real. The doctor isn’t joking. There’s no bargaining anymore – even though your family is waiting at home and your office is overflowing with work. Your world shrinks to the bare minimum. You focus only on yourself. On how your right foot will function again. On how you’ll walk again, like a normal person. All the big things become small. Insignificant. There are only you and a massive hope and prayer that your leg will work again.

Rheya and I were operated on the same day. The same neurosurgeon saved both our right legs. Mine will never be 100%, the nerve was too damaged. But to me, it’s perfect. To me, my right leg is the best leg in the world. It means more than any leg that functions flawlessly.

A New Path

After surgery, you have to think about rehabilitation. For me, it wasn’t a huge challenge, as an athlete, I had a major advantage. My muscles were well-developed, which meant a much shorter time to reactivate the sleeping ones.

But after surgery, you also have to ask: Why did this happen? Every illness comes with a reason. Always. If your mind doesn’t figure it out, your body will start sending clear signals.

“Tanja, if you do nothing now, you’re being foolish and dishonest with yourself. Tanja – think deeply. Why did this happen? Why did your body abandon you?”

And it was as if a door opened. I couldn’t see the destination yet, but I saw the path.

Exactly five days after surgery, my husband (now ex-husband) and I decided to separate. It was the most logical step. Our marriage was no longer the place I wanted to live in after what had happened. Even though we told ourselves everything was fine, it wasn’t. And that, too, led me to illness and surgery. A combination of dissatisfaction at home and overwhelming work. The body responds. But now I had to resolve things at home first. Then I’d deal with work.

Illness opens doors – opens paths. And even when you feel powerless, you’re incredibly strong in your soul. Because you know you’ll find the solution. And the place where you’ll live. Even if you can’t see the exit yet, and you want to cling to what’s familiar, to slip back into routine, something inside says: You don’t want to live like this anymore. And you have to follow that instinct. You have to turn off the rational part and follow your feelings.

Rehabilitation and…

Rehabilitation. Negotiating the division of assets. Managing inner emotions. Easing post-operative pain. Searching for a new home.

Work was set aside; there were too many other things I needed to face with. Work can wait. Work always waits.

I’m grateful for my family, all the friends in my life, and for my son – they stood by me. Without them, it simply wouldn’t have been possible. Somehow, they kept me entertained, and as if by silent agreement, took turns pulling me out into the world, into real life, beyond the usual circle. That helped. Alongside my immense and unwavering willpower. That I truly don’t lack and I believe it’s sport that gives it to me. It fills every corner of my body and mind with persistence and strength.

5 days after surgery, the decision to divorce was made.

35 days after surgery, we were officially divorced and our assets divided.

60 days after surgery, I bought an apartment abroad.

70 days after surgery, I officially moved and became the owner of my very own home.

90 days after surgery, I was already back in the gym, rebuilding my muscles.

I measure my life before and after the surgery. As if I’d been given a “second life.”

Friends call me Wonder woman – maybe for a reason, maybe out of respect. But believe me, I didn’t feel like that at the time. What I did feel was triumphant. Proud of myself. I had achieved many things in life before, but this challenge was a cocktail of triumph.

And then the real work begins. The inner work. Digging deep. Processing life’s chapters. Putting work on the back burner and placing myself first. In that moment, I was the most important person in my life. And immediately after that, my son. We share an incredibly beautiful bond.

And then you become water. Flowing gently between the stones. Soft, yet so persistent that you reshape the rock even though it’s harder than water itself.

My relationship with work changed. I realized life happens outside the office. And whenever possible, I don’t spend excessive time at work. Not because I’m boycotting anything but because I no longer push through walls. I don’t force things. Because it simply doesn’t make sense.

After this experience, I learned to breathe. To calm down. I now see fluctuations at work as challenges not battles for survival or final victories. When leadership brings its inevitable ups and downs, my strings no longer vibrate with tension. They play a harmonious melody. And you reach that through inner work through how you respond to people and events. Simple. Clear.

Today, I still have a beautiful relationship with my ex-husband. After the divorce, we wrote each other heartfelt letters pouring our emotions, expectations, and reflections into digital paper (emails). I still have both messages saved. And I still cry when I read them.

Proud

Today I cried because I’m proud. Proud that I was honest with my emotions and expressed their depth back then. Because we must not hide from feelings or situations. To those we love, respect, and cherish we must be uncompromisingly transparent and open. Because that person at one point in life was the most important one. Together we built a family. Raised a wonderful child. Renovated a house. Created a warm and safe home. You can’t sweep that under the rug. It leaves a mark on your life.

And today, I still have a beautiful relationship with my former in-laws. I call them my “adopted family.” His mother, brothers, former sister-in-law, niece, and her parents. Wonderful people I love deeply. They are precious.

Morning Gratitude

Every morning when I wake up I do so without regrets. No guilt. No thoughts that I could’ve lived differently. No dissatisfaction with my life. I feel fulfilled. Full of positive energy – energy I can share with those around me.

People who meet me for the first time often say I have contagious energy. For me that’s a beautiful compliment. It means I’m doing something good for myself. That my energy is in balance and I have enough to share with others. From here on, it’s all gratitude. Gratitude that I can savor each day with a big spoon. That I can share my days with a loving soul who walks beside me.

That I can share unforgettable moments with my son and father, with my “adopted family,” with friends, neighbors, colleagues, and my team at work. Without them, there’s no professional success. The team is what fills the gaps and smooths the fluctuations that arise. I’m just the coordinator – the conductor. The team does heavy lifting.

And I’m grateful that I never wake up with the question: “What if things had been different?”

Because I don’t have that question. I chose myself. I resolved things within me first.

I didn’t choose shortcuts. No masks.

I chose a path that is real. Tangible.

And it’s mine. Only mine.

Honesty in Relationships

Honesty isn’t always easy. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it exposes.

But it’s the only path that builds relationships that endure over time.

Transparency isn’t a weakness, it’s courage. And relationships built on them are the ones that carry us when we can no longer carry ourselves.

Before I Go

Maybe pain is what teaches us how to be real. How to listen. How to choose. How to wrestle with ourselves.

And how to wake up – without regrets.

I won’t leave you with advice or tasks. Just one question:

“What stopped you in life – and at the same time invited you onto a new path?”

Until next time. TH

At First Glance

At first glance, it’s just a series of lines red and blue, good and bad. But look closer, and you’ll see a rhythm.

A pattern.

A story.

Life doesn’t come in perfect gradients. It arrives in contrast, in moments that lift us, and those that test us. Leadership is no different. It’s not a polished title or a flawless path. It’s a barcode that is made of decisions, doubts, breakthroughs, and quiet courage.

Some lines mark joy, others mark pain. But together, they form something scannable. Something readable. Something that says:

This is me. This is my journey. This is my style. This is my signature.

The curious thing about barcodes is that they require a scanner. And yet every one of us carries one. We don’t need a device to read someone’s energy, presence, or choices. We scan people intuitively. We categorize quickly. We read their barcode even if we don’t realize it.

The Barcode of Leadership

There are many styles of leadership as many as there are personalities. Each one is a unique combination, a rhythm of lines. And here is how leadership might look through the lens of a barcode:

Blue and wide: shows direction, but doesn’t force.

Visionary Leadership

A leader with a clear view of the future, guiding with trust and long-term clarity.

Gentle yet strong: a quiet presence that holds space.

Servant Leadership

A leader who puts the team’s needs first, nurturing with empathy and care.

Rhythmic: like waves of conversation.

Democratic Leadership

A leader who invites others into decisions, fostering collaboration and open dialogue.

Red and rigid: clear, but leaves no room to breathe.

Autocratic Leadership

A leader who decides alone and is effective in crises, but stifling for innovation.

Faint, almost invisible: space without structure.

Laissez-faire Leadership

A leader who steps back entirely and works only with highly autonomous individuals.

Radiant: breakthrough energy that demands inner strength.

Transformational Leadership

A leader who inspires change and encourages growth.

Mechanical: like a cog in a system.

Transactional Leadership

A leader focused on tasks, rewards, and structured environments.

The Barcode of Life

Beyond leadership, we all carry our own barcode; a rhythm of feeling, thinking, and evolving. It unfolds in phases, as we grow and deepen. From childhood to experience, through emotional tides, we strengthen our inner self and mature.

Red, rigid, short: like first steps seeking support.

Beginning – Uncertainty and Searching

Blue, rhythmic: like waves that carry us forward.

Rise – Building Confidence

Dark, deep: like a shadow birthing new light.

Turning Point – Crisis or Change

Gentle, long: like a quiet night that holds space.

Maturity – Trust and Presence

Soft, luminous: like a trace that remains behind.

Legacy – Mentorship and Giving

Growth Is Not Linear

Our barcode shifts, not just through events, but through inner states. From red and rigid to deep and dark, toward gentler, softer, brighter lines. We move into mentorship, into teaching, into sharing the emotional richness we have lived, so we can offer it to others.

Some lines repeat and we could turn to earlier phases. Because growth is never linear. If it were, it would be progress without transformation.

True growth is layered.

It’s a barcode — imperfect, beautiful, and entirely ours.

Until next time. TH

Life flows on, and we get caught up in trivial things.

How the neighbour bought a big new car.

How the lady next door dressed poorly. And look — she’s aged.

Why is it that when we don’t have problems, we somehow feel the need to create them?

Are problems worth becoming part of our everyday lives?

Start with a problem or struggle?

I would love to start this article with a personal struggle. It would probably attract more readers — because, statistically speaking, problems draw more attention. Daily news always begins with horror, almost like a crime report. As if people didn’t have enough of their own troubles, the world adds global ones — just to keep us living in fear and anxiety. But I won’t go too deep into that, because I would end up becoming negative and gloomy myself.

Honestly — we humans are far more drawn to the negative than the positive. When my son was in school and came home with a bad grade (of course I gave him a little critique, saying he could have tried harder), his classic response was: “But mom, you know others got even worse grades.” And I would reply: “Sure, they did. But what about those who got better grades? How many were there?” I laugh about it now. Back then, I didn’t laugh at all.

Bad examples.

Bad examples spread more easily than good ones. And that is why I am here — not as Wonder-woman, believe me (even though some friends gave me that nickname) but because I want to see the world differently. I see and feel the negative things and people, but I believe in every situation and every person enters our life with a purpose. To teach us something. Or to help us repay a karmic debt we brought from this life — or a previous one.

Let’s set karma aside for a moment, because that is not the theme of this article, and focus on the obstacles we create ourselves. The endless questions, tangled thoughts, and sleepless nights over things we need to solve, things that steal our peace, even at night.

Sleepless nights?

How many sleepless nights have we had?

Why so many?

Were we solving problems that truly existed, or just ones in our head?

And after all that nighttime thinking — did we solve anything?

Generally, no. We didn’t resolve much during the day if we spent the night overthinking. Believe me — I have had my share.

A tip.

One of my dear friends gave me a tip: Keep a pencil and paper on your nightstand. “When you wake up at night worrying, write down what’s on your mind. The thought will fade quickly. Then you’ll drift back to sleep.”

And me — of course I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t try it. And it actually worked. It still works. Only now I have swapped the pencil and paper for my phone’s notes app.

Yes, I know — blue light isn’t great, it sends adrenaline through your veins and keeps you awake. But at that moment, you are already awake, thinking about a thousand things. So, if you turn on your phone for 20 seconds and jot something down — it won’t kill you. Believe me.

A diagram.

A long time ago, I came across a wonderful diagram that helped me through quite a few dilemmas. Simple and clear:

Follow me!!!

Do you have a problem in life?

= Possible answers: NO – YES

: Answer NO: Then why worry?

: Answer YES: Can you do something about it?

YES: THEN WHY WORRY?

NO: THEN WHY WORRY?

So – then WHY WORRY.

»We’ve reached the calm after the storm.«

And now I am asking you: Why do we spend so much time in life banging our heads against the wall?

Life will find its way, even if we resist. I am not saying we should give up — never. But if we keep charging headfirst into a wall, we will always lose. The wall is harder. We will end up with a bump, and no result.

My advice?

Consistency — in everything that truly matters. Where we see meaning.

• Where we feel good and we can grow.

• Where our heart feels at home and there is space for our loved ones.

• Where we build our career and expand our knowledge.

• Where we grow — in soul and body.

• Where we love to return — no matter what or where that place is.

That is when we know we didn’t make a mountain out of a molehill. That we looked our problems in the eye. And that is not always easy — sometimes we choose it, sometimes life pushes us there. But when we do it, we feel proud. Because we handled it with grace.

CAN YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?

YES. THEN WHY WORRY?

NO. THEN WHY WORRY?

Until next time. TH

Children are our greatest treasure.

Before we decide to bring a child into the world, we often look at life through rose-colored glasses.

We imagine what this child will look like, how they’ll think, and who they’ll become — all through our own lens.

I’m a mother to an adult son who is building his career and truly enjoying the process.

He approaches challenges with heart and structure — driven not by status or titles, but by genuine passion.

That is how you know he has chosen the right environment and profession — where his hobby became his work.

Titles Don’t Define Us

As parents, we never pushed him or gave detailed advice about what he should do in life.

A title is just a title — it doesn’t make the person.

I carry one myself, but I am everything but that label before or after my name.

So I am asking, sincerely:

Why do some people chase titles so relentlessly — and forget to live in the process?

Living vs. Merely Existing

I understand the drive.

I have spent a good part of my life creating solid work conditions, building a future, and shaping my career.

All while raising a family, studying, renovating a home — and somehow, living.

Somehow living — I emphasize that.

But what I never lost was my availability to those I love.

Conversations.

Pausing work to help a family member.

Long talks. Sometimes tears — bitter ones, but also many sweet.

Just like at work, when you help a colleague.

I believe a team is one — and without others, you are nothing.

Being human, always and forever.

Not forgetting the people right beside you.

Passing It On

These experiences — I have passed them on to my son, and still do.

The awareness that humility and simplicity are the foundation for growth.

Growth built on healthy, morally sound values — stronger than shortcuts taken in pursuit of success.

We talk about this often with my son.

We debate with open communication.

Why do we talk that much?

Because I want to show him the darker sides of life and business as well.

To shorten his path, maybe.

To offer my experiences — my lived truths — so he might reflect, if something similar ever crosses his path.

Generations are different — and that is how we evolve.

In our case, it’s Generation X and Z — and between them, a gap.

As parents, we must build a bridge over that gap — one that connects both shores.

Remember Being a Teenager?

How did it feel to be around your parents?

We often saw them as behind the times — as if we were ahead.

Now, as a parent, I see it differently.

I embrace it as mentoring a new human for life — not imposing my values or experiences so he walks my exact path.

“It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.”

~ Frederick Douglass ~

Why teach a child what to think, when we can teach them how to think?

The Journey Matters

Getting there is important.

But the path — that’s the journey.

It’s the adventure that gives us the tools for the future.

If we focus only on the destination, we miss the road.

We risk becoming zombies — disconnected from emotion.

Instead of living in the now, we live in the future — and miss what matters most in the present.

Children as Mirrors

I’m no guru of life advices.

But experience has taught me: a child is your mirror.

Sometimes you see where they are headed — but you must let them go.

Even when it’s hard, they must taste life with a big spoon and feel it on their own skin.

We, parents, are just the compass.

When they glance at it, we show direction.

But the path is theirs.

The storms are theirs.

We can’t hold the umbrella forever.

When we are able to do that, we have fulfilled our role as parents with distinction.

But parenting has no expiration date.

It’s forever — like mentorship.

A mentor mentors — and is also mentored.

As parents, we are mentors.

But we must allow ourselves to be mentored as well.

We must accept our children as our teachers — only then we are able to truly learn.

That is how we build a beautiful bridge between Generation X and Z — through collaboration and shared growth.

Because we never know everything.

And we can always learn — from every situation and every person who enters our life unexpectedly.

Even that unexpected person — the one we brought into the world — our child.

They arrive without instructions.

And from day one, we begin writing the manual for life — together.

Until next time. TH 🫶

What do we actually expect from leadership?

A powerful question — both for those in leadership roles and for those being led.

When we step into the role of a leader, we often ask ourselves:

Am I leading well enough? Am I too soft? Too authoritarian? Does my team take me seriously?

We must remember: the days of the untouchable leader — the one who commanded from above, whose decisions were unquestionable — are long gone.

Authoritarian leadership rarely fostered collaboration. In fact, it didn’t seek it. It demanded obedience, regardless of whether the leader’s actions aligned with moral standards or not.

Today, leadership is no longer just about authority.

It’s about humanity, presence, inspiration — and above all, example.

A good leader collaborates, uplifts, and shares success.

They don’t just collect rewards — they share them with the team that made those achievements possible.

Leading or guiding?

We often use the word leadership to describe any form of influence, direction, or decision-making.

But there’s a subtle, meaningful difference between leading and guiding.

A leader steps forward.

They take responsibility, set direction, and inspire others to follow.

A guide stands beside.

They support, point the way, but never force.

They help others find their own path.

I came across a study that explores this beautifully: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1239974/full.

The researchers asked:

1. Can a leader’s charisma “flow” to their followers?

2. Can a charismatic leader influence others to become more charismatic over time?

They focused on three psychological mechanisms:

• Social learning – followers learn by observing the leader

• Emotional contagion – the leader’s emotions transfer to others

• Self-concept – individuals shape their identity based on their environment

Methodology

They studied 127 followers and 15 leaders in a large organization, observing them at two points in time.

They measured perceived charisma in followers and tracked how it changed based on the leader’s charisma.

Key findings

• Charisma can transfer from leader to follower — especially among those with lower self-monitoring (more spontaneous, less self-conscious individuals).

• Followers of charismatic leaders were perceived as more charismatic over time.

• Charisma is not a magical trait — it’s a behavioral pattern that can be learned and developed.

Why this matters?

The study breaks the myth that charisma is innate.

Instead, it defines charisma as:

“Values-based, symbolic, emotion-laden leader signaling.”

Charisma is rooted in values, symbolism, and emotional presence — and it can be consciously cultivated.

Charismatic leaders don’t just lead — they guide and shape future leaders.

This blurs the line between leading and guiding.

A leader who inspires often leads even when they’re not officially in charge.

Charisma becomes the bridge between formal authority and informal influence.

So what have we learned about leading vs. guiding?

Both have power.

But sometimes, guiding is stronger than leading — because it’s built on trust, not title.

It doesn’t demand attention — it requires presence.

It calls for authenticity, charisma, and emotional depth.

It asks for humanity — and real, embodied connection with the team.

Take risks in your life:
If you win, you can lead.
If you lose, you can guide.

And that’s the heart of it.

Sometimes we’re not the ones leading the crowd.

We’re the ones quietly guiding the individual.

We don’t need a title to have impact.

We don’t need perfection to be useful.

Leadership is loud.

Guiding is quiet.

But both can change the world.

Leadership isn’t about fitting in all the time — it’s about leading with a heart. All the time.

Until next time. TH

Sometimes in life, we experience encounters that defy logic. People who enter our world at the exact moment we need them most. They don’t wear wings, they don’t glow — but their presence lifts us, guides us, saves us.

This is the story of one such encounter. A moment when I realised that guardian angels truly exist — and that sometimes, we find them in hospital rooms, surrounded by pain, uncertainty, and hope.

There are times in life when we meet people we can only describe as angels. They arrive when it matters most. Not because they have all the answers — but because they know how to listen, to see, and to persist.

The Story

My story goes back seven years, to a time when I was undergoing pain management therapy in the hospital. That is where I met an extraordinary woman. I’ll call her Rheya.

We were both battling pain, undergoing treatments we weren’t even sure would help. We waited for the medical staff, for any kind of miracle from anywhere — just something to make the pain go away.

In those days, the silence in the room was louder than words, but the look we shared said, “I understand you.”

Rheya was discharged by her doctor, who believed her condition wasn’t serious enough and that he had done all he could.

But Rheya needed a second opinion and specialised care. I was absolutely convinced of that. To me, it was as clear as daylight. I knew I couldn’t give up — and that a solution existed. For her, and for me.

I urged her to advocate for herself — even if it meant being bold:

“Threaten to go to the media or hire a lawyer if you have to. You must get a referral from a specialist. Here is my neurologist ‘s number. Call him, talk to him, tell him what you are going through — and don’t give up. Ask for a second opinion. Please, just don’t give up!”

That weekend, our paths diverged.
But deep down, I felt the story wasn’t over.

Then, on a Monday morning — the 26^th of a spring month, around 8 a.m. — we met again in the neurology emergency department. Within hours, we both underwent successful surgeries. Later, we learned that we had narrowly avoided permanent damage and likely disability.

The next day, we saw each other again during post-op therapy. Rheya looked at me, hugged me tightly, and said:

“You’re my guardian angel. You saved me, and I will be grateful forever.”

This story is a powerful reminder to me that persistence and self-belief are essential — as are friendship, honesty, and selfless support.

Sometimes, it’s enough not to give up. To see clearly when others can’t. To offer a hand, a word, a spark of courage.

Don’t forget to be someone’s angel — because sometimes, that is exactly what can change a life.

We may never know when we have saved someone’s day. But if we are present, sincere, and willing to truly see — we are already on the path to becoming someone’s angel.

Angels Among Us

Guardian angels aren’t necessarily supernatural beings.
Sometimes, they are people who show up at just the right moment.
Who doesn’t give up.
Who believe in you — even before you believe in yourself.

If you have already met your angel, you know how deeply that moment etches itself into your heart.

And if you haven’t — maybe you are the one who will change someone’s life.

Until next time. TH

Fable of the Little Bird, the Cow, and the Cat

It was a harsh winter. A little bird sat frozen on a tree branch, chirping sadly. The cold was so intense that he eventually froze completely and fell from the branch.

Just at that moment, a cow happened to pass by and did her business near the tree. The bird landed directly in her fresh pile of dung.

To his surprise, it was warm. He felt comforted and cosy, so he began to sing loudly and joyfully.

A nearby cat heard the singing, ran over, and happily ate the bird.

The moral of the story:

• Not everyone who dumps you in the “shit” is your enemy.

• Not everyone who pulls you out of the “shit” is your friend.

• And if you find yourself in “shit,” sometimes it's better to stay quiet.

  — Folktale —

On Expectations, Relationships, and Unexpected Lessons

I’ve been reflecting on everyday relationships, trust, and how often we judge people based on the wrong criteria. We tend to create mental images of how someone should look, behave, or speak — all shaped by our own expectations.

And when that person doesn't meet those silently set standards, disappointment creeps in.

Too often, we carry assumptions about how someone should act or what they should do to avoid letting us down.

How much have we invested in the relationship — whether with family, friends, partners, colleagues, or even neighbours?

We judge quickly.

Faster than we would like to admit.

They say we form an impression of a new person within seconds. In those moments, all our senses activate — smell, touch, vibration, gaze, energy.

And almost instantly, we assign a label

Kind.

Cold.

Reliable.

Dangerous.

But are we ever able to step back from those expectations?

To pause and truly get to know someone — without filters?

I used to be like that as well. When I was younger, I was quite naive about relationships. Luckily, my family taught me early on that every individual matters.

Later, I learned that if someone doesn't treat you well, it's better to walk away. Don't waste words or energy.

You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. That's what life taught me. And the people who entered it.

Some left painful marks, but each one pushed me to grow.

Growing up doesn't end in youth.

We evolve and develop throughout our entire lives.

I believe that's why I chose a profession where people are my whole world — HR.

A space filled with beautiful moments, and some not-so-beautiful ones. People who share their stories — stories that changed them and opened new paths.

And whenever I can, I try to help. Because I believe that's my purpose:

• To help people and systems serve their environment and company culture in the best possible way.

So what can we do, in the end?

• Don't judge people too quickly. Give them space to show who they are.

• Be aware of your expectations — and sometimes, let them go.

• Ask yourself how much you've invested in the relationship before expecting something from the other person.

• When you find yourself in an unpleasant situation, don't rush to conclusions. You might be exactly where you are meant to learn the most.

And most importantly:

Growth isn’t a destination.

It's a journey we walk our whole lives.

Unil next time. TH

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”

Oprah Winfrey

Have we ever truly asked ourselves: What is integrity?

Integrity isn’t just the alignment between what we say and what we do. It’s quiet loyalty to ourselves — especially when no one is watching. It’s the inner compass that guides us through doubt, pressure, and temptation.

It’s standing by our words, even when it’s uncomfortable. Being transparent and honest with the people around us — whether in our personal lives or professional circles.

Sometimes, the world feels loud with opinions, rushed decisions, and surface-level connections. And in such a world, integrity becomes a quiet yet powerful force that keeps us grounded.

Not as an ideal, but as practice.

A daily choice to stay true to ourselves — even when it’s easier to look away and say, “It’s fine as it is.”

Integrity isn’t something we declare:

• It’s something we live.

• It’s the alignment between what we think, say, and do.

• Above all, it’s the decision not to take shortcuts — even when no one is watching.

When integrity is deeply rooted within us, we don’t seek shortcuts. We remain respectful, even in private. Our values stay consistent, regardless of the audience.

It’s the harmony between our words, actions, and values. And that harmony is the foundation of trust — both in our relationships and within ourselves.

Integrity isn’t just a value. It’s a way of life.

It’s returning a wallet you found on the street, even when no one saw you pick it up. Admitting a mistake, even when you could have hidden it.

Standing up for someone being talked about behind their back — even when it’s uncomfortable.

We choose courage over comfort. We speak the truth, even when it’s hard. We act in alignment with our values.

Ultimately, only honesty and consistency lead to strong relationships and lasting success.

Integrity isn’t measured only in big decisions, but in the small, everyday moments. It shows how we speak about others when they’re not around.

In how we handle the power entrusted to us. In whether we can say “no” when needed — and “I’m sorry” when it’s sincere.

Every day presents a choice — to take the easier path or to do what’s right, even when it’s harder.

Transparency, accountability, and respect.

Those are the building blocks of integrity. They must be consciously cultivated, because integrity isn’t automatic — it requires active effort.

And believe me, people with integrity don’t need words to prove their credibility — their actions speak for themselves.

I still believe that every individual has the power to influence their world or community through example — and leave a meaningful mark.

Integrity isn’t perfect. It’s the decision to strive for alignment — despite mistakes, despite pressure.

When we nurture it, we don’t just build others’ trust — we build inner strength that doesn’t need applause to know it’s on the right path.

Until next time. TH