You think the purpose of sex is to have pleasure. You think that the pleasure is only focused on your cock and/or your ass. You think the guys who have the most sex are those with good bodies, clothes, image, important jobs, big cocks and lots of money. You look down on fat guys, old guys, poor guys, guys with small cocks and guys with ugly skin.

If this is the case, then I want to tell you: your sexuality has been hijacked by the media, and they use you to make millions on all levels of the industry – from fashion, to cars, to torturing your body at the gym, eating like a bird, wasting hours on chat groups and cam sites, chasing people who look like porn stars, and wasting your time and energy searching for “bigger”, “more attractive”, “smarter”.

But it is actually worse: even in the bedroom your sexual behaviour is hijacked. You imitate the sounds found in porn movies (“Oh yeah, baby, fuck me!”). You do your best to try out the latest fetishes and can’t wait to mention them to your friends and present them like trophies. You do all this without realising that you are just one more number, manipulated to use their services more so that they can make more money by milking your behaviour.

And this, sadly, prevents you from being creative, real, authentic. You actually have no sense of who you really are and what you deep down want. Worst of all, you are actually lonely: with no intimacy, no connection, no love, no compassion. You are a man with a cock, and that is all you are. You have sex, five‑minute jerk‑offs with cardboard effigies, and by tomorrow you cannot even remember what they looked like or whether you knew their names or not.

I want to offer you another view that will sound strange initially, but stick with me and I assure you, by the end you will think differently about sex.

Throughout all cultures and ages, sex was treated by most people as a doorway to bonding, self‑knowledge, spirituality and the sacred, and as a physical act of consciousness. They regarded sex and spirituality as two sides of the same coin: the physical expression of your unity with God, and the esoteric expression of the unity with God.

Modern media has stripped these deeper meanings of sex away and promoted it solely as physical pleasure. They have normalised anonymous role‑playing and replaced intimacy with imitation. The result is that modern man has forgotten that sex is actually an authentic connection where you are fully yourself, with the vulnerability to respond emotionally and the willingness to discover your hidden aspects.

Modern sexuality has become overly focused on the hypothalamic‑pituitary‑gonadal axis: arousal, orgasm, release and physical pleasure. In the process, many people have neglected the deeper chemistry of attachment and intimacy, including oxytocin‑linked bonding and the relational dimensions of love.

And the difference is time and intention. Getting your rocks off takes five minutes, or a bit longer if you edge, but that is just increasing the secretion of dopamine. Having sex can happen within half an hour, and in porn it is usually three minutes of foreplay and then a replay for hours of the moment of ejaculation. The foreplay in porn is usually a short, superficial tête‑à‑tête that is only a challenge to the intelligence of a doorknob. There are role models and fashion trends, role‑models that set the bar very high so that the ultimate orgasm will forever be out of reach – and therefore forever be chased after. Sex became a dopamine‑driven act, and the media learned how to exploit that.

The time during making love turns into timelessness, a special kind of rhythm. In lovemaking there is bonding and also a connection on heart and soul levels. It takes much longer, and the deeper the connection becomes, the less important the physical pleasure becomes. Intense bodily emotions arise, realisations manifest as feelings, delicate nuances in bodily vibrations move from being scared to trusting, from feeling inferior to gaining self‑confidence, transforming from seeing all your shortcomings and defects to embracing your authentic self and experiencing the beauty of it.

This is what the meaning of tantra is: to weave all your known and unknown parts into a beautiful tapestry while you interact in love with another human being. This has become nearly impossible today.

The media has realised that the secretion of dopamine, the “pleasure” neurotransmitter, can be monetised. Today the porn industry amounts to nearly $100 billion for 2025–2026, and the main streams of income are subscription platforms, live‑cam services, creator platforms like fan‑subscription sites, sex toys and accessories, offline content and other adjacent revenue. To this you can also add advertising that increases the revenue of fashionable clothes, cars, lifestyles, to name a few.

The most devastating aspect of all this is that it changes people into puppets, so that it becomes more and more difficult to find an authentic person. Especially in the gay world, where guys are all waiting for Brad Pitt or for a person playing the role that excites them as much as the guy in the porn movie they watched last night.

Sex is part of the lower three chakras: all three centre around the physical, early world. This is the world that you live in, that you see and understand, the world that you can predict and control. It is the world in which you can play different roles depending on the environment.

Making love is part of the upper four chakras: all four centre around the spiritual world. It is the royal road to your soul, the connection to your astral and other bodies. These are the parts of yourself – your emotions and feelings – the parts that only other people see and that you can only learn about through authentic relationships. Intimate relationship is the epitome of learning about yourself and connecting to your higher self, the part of yourself that goes beyond your body, beyond physical pleasure.

It is now time that we reclaim our most beautiful way of transforming into who we are. In order to do that, we have to become authentic in who we are and begin to live and acknowledge that we are more than just a physical being with a physical body.

We need to allow ourselves to focus on giving and receiving love, compassion and care, and get away from the wild goose chase for physical pleasure. We need to become critical of our judgements of others, explore our requirements and expectations, and lower the bar to include those who are authentic irrespective of what they look like, how old they are and how much pleasure we think we can get from them. Also, do not expect to have sex with everybody that you meet: if it happens naturally, let it be. If not, you will have made a wonderful friend.

And love will carry you back to your authentic self and that, my friend, is the most amazing magnet, because you will immediately start to attract like‑minded lovers

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You have chosen to be born gay. You have free will regarding how you will live out this theme. As you grow up, you discover certain characteristics in men that turn you on or off. You develop a relationship with your body, and your imagination leads you to explore the things that excite you. Unfortunately, from a very young age, many guys are bombarded with porn, especially videos that focus only on the act of discovering another man’s penis and then the quick actions until both ejaculate and leave. So most gay men’s sexuality is hijacked by the porn industry, which makes money from subscriptions, advertisements, and so on. They also cash in on the fact that dopamine addiction will ensure they never go out of business.

Seven thousand years ago Tantric sex was taught in temples in the East. The reason was that man realised that tantric sex was part of increasing your vibration, living closer to your Higher Self, and consciously connecting with it. Tantric sex brings you closer to living your life’s theme to the fullest, immersing yourself in your authentic self, and living a more centred and successful life. Success is not measured by image, possessions, or money, size of your penis or how beautiful your body is, but by how authentic you are. Your kundalini energy moves through your chakras as you grow up and has a huge influence in bringing you nearer to who you really are.

Each chakra is the centre of a specific group of characteristics, and this energy drives you to experience certain things. You can incorporate it into your life and sex, or you can reject it. If you incorporate it, you can move to the next chakra, and your sexual experience will change accordingly. If you do not incorporate it, you will get stuck in that chakra and not develop further. Your sexual expression will then remain stuck there for life, unless you consciously recognise this and work on the issues.

Below is an indication of each chakra and the associated energies.

Base chakra – This chakra has to do with survival instinct, safety, vitality, ancestry, and belonging. Your sexual experience is focused on physical pleasure irrespective of emotions, connections to partners, etc. It is very much driven by hormones that can push you to do irrational things. We all have done things that we today realize was mainly driven by hormones.

Sacral chakra – This chakra has to do with emotional intelligence, incorporating sensuality into your sexual experience, and becoming creative and experimental. Your sexual experience connects your emotions to your physical pleasure and you begin to control your hormones and urges and rather wait until you are with the right person.

Solar plexus chakra – This chakra has to do with confidence, self-awareness, and your capacity to assert yourself and be motivated by your passions. Your sexual experience connects your ‘Self’, who you are, your likes and dislikes to your physical, emotional pleasure. It becomes important who, where and when you have sex. You control your hormones fully.

Heart chakra – This chakra has to do with love, compassion, intimacy, empathy, and the ability to nurture and sustain relationships. One major aspect of this chakra is that it is directly connected with the hormone oxytocin, which is released with feelings of love and intimacy. Your sexual experience is connected with feelings of love and making love.

Throat chakra – This chakra has to do with self-expression, creative use of words and ideas, and expressing your authentic self in word and deed. Your sexual expression becomes a combination of making love and your creative side that explore new ways of expressing yourself.

Brow chakra – This chakra has to do with insight, vision, wisdom, imagination, and spiritual awareness. Your sexual experience becomes a way of mirroring yourself in your interaction with a partner. Through them you see and express who you are, much better.

Crown chakra – This chakra has to do with pure consciousness, spiritual awakening, and divine connection. These men have a balance between their earthly existence or ego-life and their spiritual life. Sexual love making becomes a way of connecting to your Higher Self. The focus is not the physical pleasure but how it is used to become your higher self. This usually leave you in a state of total bliss.
These men regard sex as a sacred ritual and allow their bodies and being to be used by their Higher Selves. They are turned on by vibrations, soul to soul connections and do not have likes and dislikes regarding body and age.

Obviously tantric sex is pleasurable but that is not the focus. In fact, the extra dimension of spirituality that is added to the sexual act makes the experience much more pleasurable than general sex. This can be ascribed to the fact that you secrete oxytocin also called the love hormone. Because your whole body is part of making love multiple bodily orgasms are not excluded.

In general sex that most of humanity practice today, the focus is the body, cock and pleasure. The kick derived from the anticipation of pleasure secretes dopamine and that ‘kick’ becomes an addiction. This is especially the case in watching porn. It becomes so bad that some guys cannot cum anymore without watching porn.

Tantra in Sanskrit means “weave” or “expand”. The tantric tradition is over 7,000 years old and was practiced in the East as a way to activate spiritual energies through bodily practices. Tantra developed from the realisation that much more than just physical pleasure and orgasm happens during the act of sex.

Already at that stage, humanity realised that there is something greater and beyond man that influences his life, and that it was linked to an energy system that they called Kundalini. It is the life force that drives the birth of every living being into this world. After birth, when all the organs have taken over and are functioning well, the Kundalini energy retracts into a coiled‑like vibration between the anus and sex organs.

Humans also realised that we have two bodies: a physical body and an astral body (the astral body is a manifestation of the state of being called the Higher Self). The energy in the astral body is called Rei and the energy in the physical body is called Qi. The two bodies are connected by energy vortices, or chakras. Synchronizing them was an old technique that we today call Reiki.

From these discoveries, tantric sex developed as an important part of human transformation, because it was experienced that there is an energy exchange in the chakras between the physical and astral bodies of both partners during sex. Tantra, in other words, is the weaving of the energies of the astral and physical bodies of both partners. The techniques to weave these energies involve love, intimacy, hormones like testosterone and oxytocin, sensuality, libido, movement, touch, eye‑gazing and breathing. These techniques were regarded as so important that they were taught in the temples.

It is ideal to live a life where the vortices are active and exchange energies between the physical and astral body. In our modern life, with all the stress and trauma, this energy flow stops. It is not a problem in terms of basic survival, as we have a very strong mind, ego and will to survive, but we do not realise that our astral body is linked to our quantum field of possibilities. In the quantum field are all the best (and worst) possible outcomes, and when you are linked to your spiritual Higher Self through your astral body, you are guided towards the best ones.