I know this because I used to do it too.

I never read the book ‘you are the mountain’ but I’ve done over 16 years of deep introspection. When you create enemies in your mind, without taking full accountability and responsibility for the part you played, your anxiety & ego are LOUD, screaming at you everything that ‘they did’ to make you feel this way- you’re unable to see the stone cold mf truth, where enemies don’t exist at all.

caveat-this is not about bullies ab*se war *domestic violence or when you take people please & always feel responsible for other peoples ish & overdo it, THIS IS NOT THAT*

I’m talking about when you feel you’ve got a target on your back, you’re paranoid & you think everyone is out to get you. But it literally only exists in your head.

You may give me a slew of evidence to prove how much of a target you are. Oooookayyyy,, but we know that when the mind believes something, the ego then looks for evidence for it to be real, because the mind wants to be right, if you’re right you’re safe.

Writing down on a piece of paper 3 columns:

• COLUMN 1: what happened (argued with your bestie)

• COLUMN 2: what story did you create from this? (you cannot have friends & look after your mental health)

• COLUMN 3: THE TRUTH (both of you have needs & neither of them were met)

When you look at the truth of any situation, you take the sting out, but you have to ask yourself DO YOU WANT TO?

Do you wanna get free from the prison of your mind? What is being a victim and a target for xyz *giving* you? Attention? Validation for you not making a change, because you ‘can’t’.

Get curious & you’ll get an answer, but only if you want something to be different.

Lmk your results loves xxx

I always make the most money when I’m WELL rested. *physical needs*

I easily make friends when I’m giving myself what I need: a sweet coffee treat on my morning walk, or I’m doing something new & fun. *psychological needs*

I have the BEST time with my family when I’ve meditated beforehand -lol-I have ALOT more patience after I’ve been dancing around that day. *emotional needs*

Now church, walking in nature, dancing & meditating isn’t ‘nothing’, but it sure as hell isn’t work. NON SLEEP DEEP REST is the sweet activity that puts your reticular activating system (the part of your brain that gives you a headache/brain fry from sensory overload and exhaustion from too much information stimuli) NSDR in rest.

Should I say rest one more time? I’m not sure you’re getting what this burnt out diary entry is about & how to heal it.

Doing more just makes you f*cking tired.

I’m all for biohacking, fitspo yogi gym life (I’m 17 yrs a yogi), Ayurveda & TCM. But have you tried to just f*cking relax?

When was the last time you did sweet FA?

Like go for a walk no headphones, turn your phone off for 1 hour, or just sit the f*ck down & watch Netflix?

Hustle culture works for some people, but it gave me a chronic illness.

Yes you have money, hot body, friends, BUT YOU’RE BARELY FUNCTIONING.

When I realised I can have all of the above, AND MORE, without it hurting? Why the f would I do it the painful way that’s making me ill?

In the age of information, more & more people are having 72 hours of no screens and seeing massive benefits, like oh I dunno HAPPINESS.

GO ANALOG, have a mental health day, have two.

Do nada & get everything - I learned the hard way so you don’t have to.

Love y’all xxx

(all pics from 2010’s when I was doing toooooo frikin much, but you couldn’t tell right? Just the daily headaches, always working, no sleep & pushing my body & mind past its limit, because NEVER NOT WORKING - right?!)

If you’re not a workaholic type A personality with 0 health issues or a parent (ha), this might not be for you.

Okay, so if healing your body is 90% feeling good & 10% the food you eat & exercise, then surely all we should ever do is do what makes us feel good right?

*here we go*

I can already hear you screaming ‘SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK’ ‘WE’VE GOT KIDS’ okay but….millions of parents around the world work FULL TIME, 75% of mothers & 90% of fathers..

Do ALL of you have illnesses and you’re depressed anxious sad and never get your needs met? People with children & a ‘normal’ jobs, aren’t automatically unhappy and therefore physically unwell, right?!

Read more

in 2019 I was working 3 jobs; yoga teaching at several gyms 10am/5pm 8pm class, working in a bar 9pm-6am & sometimes modelling, also doing massage and also dabbling on social media here & there.

I would sleep maybe 5 hours a night - 8 hours 1 or 2 nights a week, but I was always working, always exhausted, always late to family events, because I had a mig…

Read more

I know you’re not deaf but whose permission do you need to speak?

I DO have compassion for those who cannot undo years of internalised fear that if they do speak, they will be hurt/rejection/punished/humiliated.

And I would still like them to TALK TO ME.

I don’t mean in a seggsual intimate way-thats what my other website is for.

What I mean is, if you don’t want to feel like s*** because you have no one to talk to & you need someone to talk to but you feel terrified to do so because of what you were taught as a child. Then you have to take the first scary step.

YOU MUST BREAK THE PATTERN TODAY OR IT WILL REPEAT TOMORROW.

I was scared af standing up for myself to my verbally abusive step mom since I was 8 years old, but I did it. Even though I was taught I would not be safe, I would be thrown out on the street, I would not be loved and I would be punished if I did so. And I was screamed at, love was held back & home became a battleground, it made me physically & mentally ill. But I did it. Repeatedly. To get free from the prison of my mind.

I could list lots of other scenarios where I’ve been scared sh*tless out of my mind, but I did the scary thing, because it was worse staying crippled frozen in fear. I’m not saying it’s easy, and yes it’s necessary, but f me sideways every time I ALWAYS wish I’d done it sooner and the reality is NEVER as bad as what happens in my mind. *disclaimer: Never do anything that puts you or others in physical danger, this is my experience and I would never suggest nor am I suggesting you EVER do that, always stay physically safe* .

I’m in a tough love mood today.

If there's something on your chest that you need to get off, join the Zoom group chat, your video will be off, 5pm Tuesday GMT time.

If you wanna talk to me daily normal regular spicy updates customs naughtiness all fun being uncensored that’s what my page is for.

This »» click me Zoom click me «« is a space for listening, getting off your chest sh*t you haven’t been able to talk about, but dear god do you need to.

do you have stuff on your chest? let it rip! xxx

https://us05web.zoom.us/j/82110908198?pwd=9xeDbaLLXyy6bzMJ6nvyJBVfsKY33h.1

I don’t know wtf is going on in the cosmos, but I am feeling prickly, out of sorts & pretty sh*tty.

As you all know I went viral & got trolled for crying on the internet because I have no friends as a 30 year old workaholic with a chronic illness, tried to make friends, but it didn’t work out & I made a mistake & got dragged. It happens.

Read more

The only way that I’ve found people ‘see’ me is when I’m in front of the right people, some cannot and and some can. Those that can I know within about 30 seconds of meeting them. If you don’t have people who see you, here are a few options of where you can find them:

1. Meetups. Its GREAT, literally in every city, in almost every niche.

2. At the gym/run club/hiking/boxing/yoga/swim club/diving club.

3. Art class, pottery making, learning how to make bread.

4. Dungeons & dragons tournaments. I was gonna go but the tickets sold out!

5. At a coworking space if you go there often, strike up a conversation.

6. SO many outdoorsy adventures for solo people, literally google in your city and you will find a list with dates of where & when to be outside with others.

7. Any class where you have to work with people team build or make something.

8. Church/mosque/temple for every faith!

What’s been your experience with loneliness my loves? xxx

It wasn’t as awful as it sounds - we had 6 different pairings (of cheese & wine) by the 3rd tasting I didn’t gaf-THANK GOODNESS.

Read more

I used to go to bed WIRED AF, couldn’t switch off, I did all the biohacking; meditation & breath work, no screen 2 hours before bed, magnesium melatonin, a bath, orange blue light glasses, last meal at 7pm, reading by candlelight for 20 mins.

IT DIDN’T EFFING WORK. Which didn’t make sense because it used to work before, why the f did it stop?!

You have to EMPTY YOUR MIND before you sleep, which can be hard when you don’t have any friends no boyfriend, and your family don’t wanna hear it.

So who the f did I tell so that I started sleeping 8 hours every night without fail?

Read more

I’ve tasted the floor of Waitrose, H&M, Marks & Spencer, Sainsburys…I’ve only been wheelchaired out by paramedics once. Thank goodness, but it’s one time too many, when you’re a 28 y/o yoga teacher.

Read more

A lot of you won’t like this post, it’s not sexy or super cool, no amount of BioHacking or Andrew Huberman will fix this but it does f*cking work.

No amount of therapy, going to a spa, ice cold baths, breath work, supplement stacks, sunlight on your retina at 7am & 4 hours of being outside & working out 2 hours a day & 10,000 steps or even a holiday will heal the burn out & exhaustion.

The fastest way to heal being Burnt Out is to use…

Read more

I keep seeing the number 55. It’s been 9 times so far today, 10 if I include the current time. 13:55.

Read more

The choices we make add up over time.

This isn’t a post to tell you to go to the gym and start optimising your health.

This is a reminder to *consciously* choose a change that you want in your life.

When I was 4 dress sizes bigger than usual because I had a chronic neck injury,

Read more

when I stopped performing & started FEELING that’s when I was able to squirt.

Read more

it’s a 3 part system that people DO talk about, just the vernacular they use can make it seem exclusive and YOU DON’T GET ACCESS.

Read more

I pray this voice note helps someone, anyone. Don’t give up.

From my heart to yours.

Terri xxx

to the uninitiated, the regular degular run of the mil 9-5 er, waking up at 5am to pray have a cold shower & go for a run is HELL.

Making money from a community that you have created online isn’t reliable.

Speaking to you…

Read more

LETS DIG DEEP & FIND OUT!

Read more

Read more

WE’RE STARTING WITH THE BIG DOGS!!!!

Read more