Ooof! Firstly, apologies for not pitching up here for the last couple of weeks but I’ve been a bit poorly. Mrs ‘I’m never ill’ - was. Jeez, quite the shocker. I am very lucky to enjoy rude health so finding myself pole-axed took me aback somewhat. I know it’s beyond tedious to warble on about ailments but as this newsletter feels like a conversation with friends and also with the children I wasn’t able to have, it would feel remiss not to mention something that has knocked me for six.

I am not in the ‘things happen for a reason’ camp. Shit things happen to good people a lot, and randomly - they haven’t invited it. However, I do like to look for something to learn from experiences that feel significant, so I will share what I have learnt from my recent illness.

Whenever I, or those close to me, have any health issues, I consult a book that I find fascinating. It’s called Your Body Speaks Your Mind by Deb Shapiro, available here.

It might all feel a bit woo and if that isn’t for you and you’re thinking I’m just here for pens then do scroll on down.

So, I’ve had a kidney infection. Asking my doctor the cause, she said it had migrated up from my bladder. ‘Oh no!‘ I exclaimed, ‘please don’t tell me I’m in old lady wee infection territory already?’ Gladly, I was reassured that no, that wasn’t the case here, though many post menopausal women do suffer (most likely in silence) from UTI’s. My GP reassured me she was pretty sure that this was a ‘one and done’ for me, but that it was a ‘significant infection’ and not to expect to bounce back too quickly. I did expect to bounce back; but my GP was right, I didn’t. So, of course I looked up ‘kidney problems’ in my copy of Your Body Speaks Your Mind. Now I don’t use this book as some sort of ‘dream dictionary’ style volume where you might be tempted to just see whatever you’re looking for or squeeze an idea in to fit with your preconceptions. I approach it with a curiosity, just to see if anything resonates with me, always keeping an open mind. When I read something that clangs a big old bell then I will heed it. So, I learnt that in Chinese medicine (another fascination of mine) the kidneys are known as the seat of fear. Apparently the kidneys respond to fear, to unexpressed grief and loss. I felt a flicker of recognition here as I realise as carer to my elderly mother, whose health is deteriorating daily, that I am experiencing a sort of grieving as I am losing her in increments, but I’m not expressing that grief, for the simple reason she’s still here; just about.

Another of the emotional causes associated with kidney problems is lack of balance in life. Now I have been promising myself more time off from my care role for months in an effort to balance out the drudgery that the role can bring, but have I actually done anything about it? No. So, I feel this recent illness to be rather than my body speaking my mind, my body has had to resort to yelling at me to balance things up a bit, to take time for myself, which being laid up and unable to fulfil my care role did give me. So, message received, a lesson learnt. I’m taking this episode as a sort of re-set. More time off will be taken - balance will be restored. I realise it’s a case of pulling down the oxygen mask for yourself first, before you can help others, it’s simple common sense. So, no more will I play the martyr, dragging my caregiver cross with me everywhere. It feels good.

At last we get to the subject of glorious pens. I am extremely specific about the writing instruments in my life. I prefer to write with a fountain pen (fine nib), or a very fine, fibre-tipped pen or an ultra-fine gel pen. I also prefer to write in brown ink; a sort of sepia vibe. It’s just a quirk.

I have a couple of fountain pens nestling in my ‘Beautiful things coming my way soon’ bookmark folder. These beautiful pens are clearly big time spendy so if I found myself in the territory of justifying this kind of purchase I would obviously need to try before I buy, but I’m sure they would be an utter joy to write with.

Staying with Japan I think it’s safe to say any stationery lover will have a soft spot for Japanese stationery retailer, Muji. I was living in London in the early nineties when Muji shops first appeared and I embraced the brand. Every visit landed me in stationery heaven. I was drawn to the plain, unbranded, stylish and well-designed products. There is still much to love but they have had to expand their other ranges which include, clothes, homeware, furniture, beauty and even food, and in my opinion it’s at stationery’s cost. I own a couple of Muji fountain pens, which have been discontinued from their range but I’ve been able to buy replacements from Amazon. They do have two different fountain pens in their present range, but they seem to be permanently out of stock, so I’m not sure what’s going on there.

This is my Muji fountain pen of choice. I love the feel of the smooth, brushed aluminium finish and it has a nice fine nib.

A similar looking pen from a make I favour is this one from Kaweco at Cult Pens.

I also happen to like these green pens from Muji, a water-based fine point pen and a matching highlighter they delight me as they match my beloved MacBook Neo Citrus.

I have a notebook and pen in every handbag I own and as a fountain pen lying dormant would dry up, alongside each notebook is this fine rollerball pen by Pilot, in brown ink of course.

Enough of pens. I’ll be posting on notebooks and journals, probably early September when I’ll be getting that back to school, new pencil case, new timetable vibe.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Toots and the Maytals - Funky Kingston

In line with the theme of going back to school. This week’s track is one I first heard watching the brilliant film Notes on a Scandal (based on the book by Zoe Heller). It’s the story of two female teachers who form an unlikely friendship that ends in lives being destroyed by scandal. It stars Cate Blanchette, Judi Dench and Bill Nighy. The song is played during a scene in the home of the Mr and Mrs Hart (played by Cate and Bill) where they are dancing together, a blissful contrast to the tension building elsewhere in the film.

Thanks for reading this far. It’s good to be back. I do realise this post is possibly a little niche but if you liked it in any way do please click the ❤️ button.

Thanks again.

I’ll be honest the morning after our loss to Argentina I had a bit of a cry. I felt sad for me, for the team and for this country. I had felt an intense need for the unbridled joy that a sporting triumph can bring. I was so invested in this team. Over the past few weeks I have spent many happy hours, well not hours (jeez hopefully not hours) but quite a lot of time scrolling through reels of the best moments. The ‘Wonderwall’ scenes that celebrated all our victories. The love emanating from the fans to the team and right back atcha from the team to the fans. I imagined that feeling magnified a hundredfold by winning the World Cup. To simply feel SO good about our football team, about being a football fan; an English football fan. To have that glorious possibility snuffed out was shattering. I have not engaged in the endless exchanges seeking to blame and criticise. Football fans can be fickle.

A few days on I don’t feel this team let me down. Their performance against France, the display of both teams to be fair, was a salve. To witness those broken-hearted players, depleted and exhausted finding the strength to go again was uplifting. In the match no team wants to play, the so called ‘Bronze final’, both teams provided us with a thrilling final match, a goal-packed festival of the beautiful game. Players playing without fear, pressure or doubts. I hope it helped the England team feel better, it certainly helped me. It was quite the contrast as it turned out to the actual final… not going there.

I listened to David Baddiel’s Sixty Years of Hurt on Radio 4 prior to and during the tournament. It’s not just about football, it uses the England men’s football team and our relationship to it, to delve into what it means to be English.

It talks about the culture and the social history around the national team and its relation to the nation. It discusses national anthems, maverick players and why they have sometimes been excluded from the national team, the violence, the racism, penalty shoot-outs and how we found our way to win them, and hope; how England fans’ expectations are often way out of proportion to reality. I found it fascinating.

Mary Bourke Who Cares

I know I wang on about my care role sometimes but it’s kind of inevitable as it’s such a huge part of my life. This recent series on BBC Radio 4 Who Cares by Mary Bourke is brilliant. Mary, a comedian, became carer to her husband, when he had a devastating stroke. She asks the crucial question; who cares for the carer? It is darkly and brutally funny. It is also inspirational and humbling.

I should perhaps post a spoiler alert here, though it might not be necessary, as there’s a part of me wondering how many of you will be able listen to all five episodes, we are all so very time pressed, though if you can, do give it a listen, they are only 15 minutes each. In the final episode, called Burnout, Mary talks of this poem that was sent to her when her husband Simon was in the ICU.

Simon reads a short extract from it here.

Mary adds this beautiful message at the end.

‘To all the carers out there, I really hope joy finds you and you’re ready when she appears.’

This slayed me. I was more than ready for some World Cup joy. Perhaps it would just have been too much to slither through the cracks; it would have knocked down the walls. I will learn not to invite joy, but to simply be ready for her when she comes.

I think of these football fans in Gaza and I count my blessings.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Eliza Doolittle - Pack Up

I needed a cheerful uplifting song in my world now bereft of football, for now anyway. I love this track which, coincidently, was released July 5th 2010 a week before the Spain men’s football team achieved their first World Cup win in South Africa, land of the vuvuzela… my, we got sick of them! I do love a bit of synchronicity - hope you enjoy.

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I have a bookmark folder which I have named ‘Beautiful things coming my way soon…’ it’s where I save things I’ve come across that I want in my life. Some are wildly expensive and possibly on the beyond reach spectrum but many are affordable and will either become gift ideas for whenever I’m asked for such things or when I feel the need for some ‘To Me, with love from Me’ action.

I believe in the power of expectation and if that all sounds a bit woowoo to you and not something you’re into then do please scroll on down and simply look at some of the pops of loveliness I have come across recently.

Certainly ‘The Law of Attraction’ doesn’t always work, if it did Ipswich Town Football Club would have won the Champions League title at least twice, England the World Cup and the Euros (see later) and I would be a size 8… BUT it does sometimes work in the most magnificent ways. I don’t allow manifesting or creative visualisation to govern my everyday, that would be mad, but it feels like a positive thing to do from time to time. It’s just fun. It’s mainly acting ‘as if’ you already have something in your life that you want. It’s said that it is best not to be too specific, better to just imagine how you might feel if you were to have the thing you really want. However if it feels good to be specific it doesn’t hurt, I’ll give you an example of how a focussed and fully believed in expectation, has worked for me. I would also say, only do this when it feels good and ‘right’. You will know when that is.

‘The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.’ Frank Lloyd Wright

I should also note that using ‘The Law of Attraction’ can be twisted by folks just sitting on their arses and thinking they can just wish their best life into being; of course it ain’t like that.

The very best example I have of when this approach to life worked for me was when my husband and I were hoping to buy our dream home, the farmhouse we now live in. We hadn’t even had contracts drawn up but I went ahead and had some correspondence cards printed with our name above the address of the farmhouse we wanted to buy. It wasn’t a huge outlay, I didn’t order a heavy-weight vellum card with gold-leaf script, but there they were, our correspondence cards with our names printed above our dream address. We were gazumped shortly after the beautifully printed cards arrived. A cash buyer with much more to spend had arrived on the scene. My cards appeared to be redundant. Doubts did crowd in at that point but I hung on to my dream and when we visited the property again to renegotiate, I just had the strongest sense of knowing that this home, despite the odds now stacking against this outcome, would be ours. I do believe that by having the cards printed I was sending a strong message to the Universe (apologies if that phrase makes you cringe) that I expected this house to become my home. The cash buyer melted away and I am sitting at my desk looking out at the beautiful views from my farmhouse window, writing this twenty plus years on.

Right, enough of this manifest your dreams stuff, here are some random bits of lovely.

Little Reading figure

You know when you see something on Instagram and you take a look and then another look and then algorithums make it follow you around daily until you either resist or capitulate. I gave in.

I would normally be very wary of buying something online like this ‘Rollo Figurative Sculpture’ described as ‘emulating a beautiful bronze sculpture’ and as it’s only £26, though it’s clearly small (dimensions H19 x W15.5 x L15 cm) the price made me feel dubious as to the quality, not to mention the word ‘emulating’. However it kept calling to me so I made a purchase and I’m delighted with her. The figure is not satisfyingly heavy but she is charming. I keep moving her around my home not sure quite where her best resting place is yet, but she’s a keeper. I bought mine from Abigail Aherne but I’ve just discovered she’s also available here at After Noah at £24 though here she’s described as ‘Reading Figure Resin Ornament’ I think the word resin (which explains the price) would have put me off!

Cluckle Guggle Jug

I came across this Cockerel Gluggle Jug when I was visiting The Oxford Brush Company for last week’s post. My parents had one of the iconic fish ones which are having a bit of a revival. I never liked the fish but whilst I have added this to my beautiful things folder, typing these words beneath this photo is making me think naaa, I think the novelty will wear off and a big part of me is wondering, is this heading towards naff? I should probably delete.

Garden Furniture

I have coveted these pieces from Suzie Watson for some time. My garden awaits…

Gates

My garden would also benefit from a beautiful gate like this please, from Pipers Forge.

Picnic Chairs

Having said in a previous post that I haven’t picnicked for a while increasingly things are appearing on my radar to suggest I should be doing more of it. I have seen these chairs in the flesh and I can attest to the quality. They are from The Well Heeled Hippy.

Western Boots

Having seen a very bashed up pair of these on the feet of a young woman whose style I admire (she wore them with a floaty white dress) I now want a pair in the deluded and false hope of looking like her.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

James Arthur - Let’s Get It On

You may think I have gone a bit random with my song choice this week but I came across it in on an old playlist recently and I do love it. I hope you do too. Forgive the element of ‘X- Factor’ cringe. I think James Arthur looks cute.

And finally

Sadly I have had to edit the draft of this post today - the morning after England are defeated by Argentina in the World Cup semi-final. I awoke this morning feeling bruised and a bit teary as I had been so full of hope for this amazing team of talented young men. I mostly feel sad for them, they clearly gave their all and we can ask for nothing more. I want to sincerely thank them for the joy they have given. Now they have to go again and re-group for the grim third place match against France, now termed the bronze final. Who wants this? Not the players, nor the fans. It’s mean.

So, I was planning to share this joint tribute to the late Bonnie Tyler and Djed Spence (never thought I would have put those two names in the same sentence) in happier times. A football supporter sang this chant to hosts Chris Sutton and Robbie Savage on the Radio 5 Football Phone in 606. On first hearing I admit to feeling a little disconcerted about the idea of our fine defender Djed Spence being a total eclipse, as it goes he executed one of the finest tackles of the tournament on Wednesday night. I thought about deleting this, but it’s a love song for a player who did so very well and it is, for me, the joy of football fandom right here.

Thanks as ever for reading and if you would indulge me with a click on the ❤️ button it would gladden my actual heart… which, unless we thrash the arse off France on Saturday, feels a bit broken.

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I’m not going all Mrs Hinch on you. I don’t particularly like cleaning my house but I do LOVE a clean, tidy, fragrant, orderly home. I also love my home, so it seems only fitting that I should look after it. I am not a house-proud lunatic, forever plumping cushions and hoovering up lint from carpets. I am not a slave to the duster and there are times when my standards slip well below my happiness threshold, but I am aware that I simply do not function well in a messy environment, so ‘to bring order where there be chaos’ calms me and gives me peace. There are women who look down on others who care for their homes by regularly doing housework as if they’ve betrayed the sisterhood in some way by engaging in this trivial activity (bet they like a clean house though). But looking after your daily surroundings, caring for your own space and making it a pleasure to inhabit is surely a worthy pursuit. I don’t feel that cleaning is beneath me but I do feel the need to add some pizazz to make it feel less of a chore (never thought I’d write a sentence about housework using the word pizazz). It’s also another way of bringing beauty to your everyday. I wrote of this last week, hoping to make it a series and here we are already with episode 2.

The simplest and easiest way to an uplift while cleaning is by using fragrance and by ditching commercial, chemical laden crap. You can go the make your own route using bicarb, white vinegar, washing up liquid and essential oils - recipes for homemade products are out there in abundance, but if that sounds like too much of a faff there are plenty of natural cleaning products available.

Purdy and Figg are one of the most well-known with their do it all counter clean product with added combos of essential oils. It embraces the most important element for me, which is fragrance. My P&F favourites are patchouli and cedarwood and orange and petitgrain. However I became irritated by the subscription model at Purdy and Figg where I found I was unable to request my favourite scents. Having said this I should note that it is now possible to make one-off purchases of refill packs of specific scents rather than a multi-pack subscription. They suggest a refill pack lasts around three months. To be honest I can’t be sure how long it lasted in my household.

Prior to the arrival of Purdy and Figg on my radar I used Koh cleaning products, not so well known but free of nasty chemicals and it works. I was introduced to Koh by the fabulous food writer Debora Robertson who had a brilliant column on all things domestic a few years ago in the Saturday Telegragh called Notes from A Small Kitchen Island. The column sadly ended but gladly we can access Debora’s brilliant writing here .

I use Koh’s universal cleaner and steal Purdy and Figg’s essential oil combos by adding a few drops of each to the Koh cleaner in my refill bottle. I do prefer to use a glass bottle not the plastic ones from Koh and they are easy to find (some here).

Aside from cleaning products themselves, the other way I elevate this mundane activity is by using good wholesome cleaning tools. I’m going for the aesthetic here. I know that using anything made from gaudy neon coloured ‘orrible plastic is never going to motivate me. So I think, go mad and buy great stuff as it’ll make chores so much more bearable. Also many of the high quality brushes and dust gatherers available will be more efficient and last well. I have many of the items I am about to share and as a result of finding links for you I have discovered a ‘need’ for many more.

Firstly brushes, The Oxford Brush Company have possibly the most comprehensive range - a brush for every conceivable purpose.

Look at some of these.

They also do feather dusters which I love to use. Just add a few drops of your favourite essential oil and banish cobwebs with joy.

Willow and Stone have a great range of wholesome cleaning products (a fabulous shop and local to me - hurrah)

Re-Found is another source for cleaning with glory.

Another shop, not so local for me but a joy to visit is Watts Trading in Lostwithiel.

This post and my last, are really all about trying to make life just that little bit better, which has been a theme I have been drawn to of late. This quote from The Kitchen Book by - an extract shared by here.

‘I love to make my life nice in ways that it doesn’t need to be nice. I love to make things nicer than they need to be. I love to make things just ten percent more lovely than the bare minimum.’

It was also shared recently by ’s lovely post here on just that, making everything that bit lovelier. Let’s make it a trend.

I listened to this on Radio 4 this week - for people of my generation who wang on about 1976 when any one mentions heatwaves (I did mention 1976 last year here), it was a memorable year for many and this is a fascinating listen/read.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Staying with the mid seventies and sunshine, a friend reminded me of this happy, happy track this week so I thought I share it with you.

Boogie Shoes - KC & The Sunshine Band

If you’ve got this far, thanks so much for reading. As ever, a click on the ❤️ button if you liked it, would be gratefully received. It might help in some small way to spread the theme of making things a bit lovelier.

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I’ve gone all domestic this week, yes it’s come to this, I’m getting excited about food storage - I do hope you haven’t clicked away already. It isn’t just about a practicalities, I do believe in trying to bring beauty to my everyday as far as I can and try to make it a mantra for my daily life. If that all sounds a bit airy-fairy then do bear with, as it’s really just about trying to brighten the mundane. I do feel that looking for beauty in my surroundings, in others, in myself and in what I do is a good principle to live by.* Waffling a bit here, so I’ll get to it.

I have recently moved to glass food storage, whilst the plastic containers (including those heatproof ones retained from a takeaway) can be handy for storing leftovers and food in general, when they begin to colour up in the same shade as the food you had stored in them it feels a bit off, even if the food stored inside them isn’t.

For years I have stored a lot of dry food stuffs in glass Kilner jars, it’s a bit of a faff, but I decant easily spillable packets into clean glass jars. I like the way they look in my cupboards and it makes using these items much more of a pleasure.

If I’m having a bake-a-thon I pull out my box of sugars.

For breakfast and general snacking I flop a few blobs of greek yogurt into a bowl and depending on my mood add some blueberries and sundry items from this tray of goodies; jars of toasted seeds, bran, nuts and granola. Storing the jars in a box, tray or basket makes for easier access and items don’t get lost at the back of cupboards.

I have now extended my use of glass food storage to the fridge. I have always regularly ditched discoloured plastic food containers and on listening to Radio 4’s Sliced Bread on the subject I have realised that this is actually quite prudent. I am not a lunatic constantly on the look out for things in everyday domestic life that might harm me, truth be told it’s mainly the aesthetic that motivates me here, but according to the experts on the programme, if the plastic container you’re using has been discoloured by the food i.e. the food is seeping into the plastic, then what will also be happening is the plastic is leaking into the food. So glass containers or stainless steel are considered a much better option. I am most likely being slow to catch on here, but I hadn’t appreciated that some round cornered stainless steel containers can also be safely used in a microwave.

Gladly buying a set of containers doesn’t require a huge bank loan, there are some extraordinarily cheap options about and of course they should last well, even in a clumsy household like mine.

Please note I am not about creating an Instagram worthy fridge interior containing a display of immaculate glass lidded dishes full of colourful healthy foods. Of course I have the odd half-empty packet of bacon lurking at the back (quite possibly past its use by date) and very often a random cling film-covered plate of something I can’t bear to throw away that will be ultimately be ditched when it becomes inedible. BUT there is some beauty in there, neatly tucked in sleek glass vessels.

Here are some of the ones I’ve found.

Starting at the low end and working up, this one from B&M Stores is impossibly cheap £2.50 reduced from £3!

A set of 6 here from ProCook for £34, two sizes available with dimensions given on the website.

If you want something sexier, I cannot believe I have actually used that word to describe a food container, but when you take a geek at the Black+Blum range I think you’ll know what I mean. I do own a Black and Blum travel cup (this one) and I do love it, but whilst I can testify to its good quality, I often wish it was twice the size.

The range of containers are mainly stainless steel and admittedly the products are not primarily for food storage, more for meals that will be transported, but obviously that needn’t preclude use in the home. They look satisfyingly sturdy and smooth to touch, in fact, so fabulously tactile I want to reach out and stroke them.

I’m not quite sure why this has happened, laziness probably, but I don’t find myself in packing up for picnics territory very often these days. It just feels like too much hassle when I can just sit in my garden beside an open door to the kitchen. However if I was filling two or three of these Black + Blum containers (here and here) it would dramatically lessen the chore.

The range above would have me well motivated for picnic action. I can visualise dropping these containers into this glorious basket I mentioned last year.

They are at the spendy end of food storage, so perhaps a bit of an outlay for those of you who sensibly produce huge volumes of batch cooking, but they are easy on the eye and cost per use will ultimately be minimal.

I might even pack myself some lunch and take it to my desk in this!

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Back to the seventies this week. A song I definitely would be found bopping to in my teenage bedroom. The lyrics are a tad old-fashioned and objectifying, but ignore that and dance. Also spot Lionel Richie playing sax in the background.

The Commodores - Brick House

Thank you for reading as ever. Looking like we have some perfect picnic weather incoming in the UK so enjoy your week. If you liked anything here do please click the ❤️ button as it helps my writing become more visible to non-subscribers.

Thank you.

*I’m hoping to make ‘adding beauty to your everyday’ a series, but I haven’t called this ‘episode one’ in case it takes me an age to write of other things and I default.

So we’re in the midst of another ‘heatwave’, yes I have put the words in quotes, because really, it needs to be more than 3 days doesn’t it, to become a ‘wave’? I had a bleat about this in a post last year so I won’t bore you with it again. It’s too hot to go to school apparently so therefore it must be too hot for me to do any of my usual daily tasks. It is offically too hot to do anything at all. Though conversely it does feel like it’s forbidden to do nothing these days… more on this later.

I love to get outside. Everything is just better. Too much time indoors and I start to get stir crazy. The joy of the recent glorious weather has meant heavenly time spent outside. I am fortunate to live in the country and enjoy spectacular outside space, but wherever I have lived, including cities I could not wait to get outdoors, however small and crowded the space.

I especially love to eat outside. Every summer as often as I can, even when it’s a bit chilly, I will light the fire pit, drag some throws (and any guests) out with me and breathe the outside in. This past week we have had many meals alfresco and almost every coffee/tea has been supped in the garden. I am writing this on my new MacBook sitting outside. Heaven.

So even though it’s too hot to do anything, I am doing this. I find it hard to do nothing at all. I’m not someone who has to be on the go all the time, far from it, I am an expert at relaxing, but even in repose I would still feel the need to be reading or writing or listening to something.

Doing nothing makes me think of the post below which I was led to some weeks ago by .

I can’t stop watching it. Following the ebb and flow of the various activities. It’s a survey of how American 25-35 year olds spend their time, but it feels like it applies to a much broader age group. Gladly and quite naturally with the introduction of labour-saving devices in the home, housework slips down the chart. Listening to the radio sadly, but expectedly, goes down too. Eating meals seems to take less and less time. Commuting more time - no surprise there. Watching TV soars up the chart to then slip down, replaced by streaming.

The area I want to focus on here though, is the ‘Doing Nothing’ which slips off the chart in the mid-sixties. As is highlighted in the above post, doing nothing i.e. thinking, day-dreaming, reflection, relaxing has gone. It seems all the technology that has been developed to save us time has not given us more time to relax and replenish ourselves. No, quite the reverse. It’s just offered more and more distractions and diversions. Not so much time with family or friends. It’s all about staring at a screen. It makes me feel a bit sad.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

The Style Council - Long Hot Summer.

I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Paul Weller. I spent quite a lot of my late teens and early twenties wanting to marry him. I’ve been a fan throughout his career, with The Jam, The Style Council and then later, on his own. My favourite phase was The Style Council, not his I gather, but hey it was the eighties and The Style Council were very much a part of my soundtrack of those days.

Paul Weller is just so incredibly and effortlessly cool and stylish. As with most classy creatives he wears his incredible artistic talent lightly. He’s rather sweetly a bit skinny and weedy looking in this video, not feeling the necessity of now, to be buff and ripped. He looks, as he always does, perfectly chilled.

Just a short post this week. It’s sunny but pleasantly breezy here today in Cornwall, not too hot to tackle some areas of neglected garden, so I’m off.

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Thank you very much.

I may be about to ruin your day. So sorry, if like me, you were blissfully unaware that you had acquired a membership of Team Cankel. This condition, for those unfamiliar, is when legs lack the natural curve or taper between the lower calf and the ankle. Basically a thick ankle. I only have one in cankle territory, not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. My left ankle puffs up in hot weather and when I’ve had a long day on my pins. This is due to a fracture some 30 years ago, which whilst all these years on means cankledom, it wasn’t all bad as it led to my starting a different life, moving from Notting Hill to Cornwall. I write about it in this extract from my book Dear You.

I met my second husband Des, while visiting friends in Cornwall. I was still madly hanging on to the idea of reuniting with my first husband but paradoxically feeling open towards meeting someone else. Des and I had nothing in common whatsoever (still haven’t ha!) other than the fact we had both been dumped by our spouses. Another experience shared was that he too had been ‘trying for a family’. It seemed both our partners had gone to try their luck elsewhere. We had been seeing each other for around a month; me regularly making the journey from Notting Hill to Cornwall, and Christmas was fast approaching, when I found myself in the Accident and Emergency department of the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Truro.

We had been up to Suffolk for Des to meet my parents for the first time and to deliver Christmas presents. We then spent the rest of the weekend catching up with friends in London and Christmas shopping, before commencing a tortuous journey back to Cornwall in freezing fog. A journey that should normally be around four and a half hours took us ten. It was very early days in the relationship and this ridiculously long journey from where I deemed at the time to be ‘civilisation’, meant that doubts started to fill my mind, not about the man, but about where he lived. It was simply too far away. Too far from all I loved and valued. Too far away from all I knew. Thoughts like: ‘This isn’t going to work’ and ‘I’ll give it until after Christmas’ spun around in my head. I didn’t share these thoughts, we were both tired and pissed off after the journey, but I felt awkward, uncomfortable and downcast after a thoroughly enjoyable weekend that should have left me feeling the opposite.

The following Monday evening, I was feeling rested and brighter but the doubts were still there and I’d pretty much decided that a life with this Cornishman wasn’t for me. It seemed the Universe had other plans. That evening I slipped on a wet floor and broke my ankle. It meant I was unable to drive for seven weeks. I could have asked Des to drive me up to my parents where I could have made my recovery but it didn’t occur to me. Des and his family got on with the job of looking after me. He cooked, washed, cleaned and ironed during this honeymoon phase of our relationship. He learned how to cook pasta dishes and even pretended to like them.

In the weeks following, my resistance to a life with this Cornishman melted and I made my decision to move from London to Cornwall and embrace the life of the countrywoman. I was moving on from my man in Paul Smith suits with smooth hands and pipe-cleaner arms, for a tanned, rugged countryman with rough working hands and big strong Popeye arms.

It wasn’t the outcome I’d expected; but at last I felt safe and loved.

I am most definitely not here to highlight yet another body part to feel ashamed of if it’s not perfect. I have read of women having surgery to remedy the ‘affliction’. Each to their own, but reading of one woman’s experience (here) having had liposuction on her fat ankles just made me feel a bit sad. Her closing words were these.

Friends and family have noticed the difference, as have I. The ankle straps on my summer sandals had to be adjusted by two notches. Recently, I tried on a pair of kitten heels for the first time ever. I'm wearing capri pants. And perhaps best of all, my boyfriend, who used to draw caricatures of me with Fred Flintstone feet, has run out of material for his sketch pad.

I think that possibly she should have dumped the boyfriend, saved her money and invested in some fabulous footwear.

As we are now in sandal territory, though the weather here in the UK is not quite delivering at present, but warmer days obviously mean that feet, naked feet are on show and following on from a previous post on dressing to flatter, I’m mindful of finding seasonal footwear that looks good.

Obviously if you are blessed with a pair of slender, elegant ankles, scroll on down to my Kitchen Disco Record of the Week, click the ❤️ button as celebration and be gone. You could even buy yourself a pair of these utterly fabulous gladiator sandals (slim calves and ankles pretty much essential here IMHO).

If you’re still with me I do feel a bit crap if I have drawn your attention to an area that you were perfectly comfortable with and are now wondering if that was misplaced.

For those of you who have just glanced down and thought, Christ! Yes that’s me, or perhaps you already knew, I am hopeful that you don’t much care, but if I have inadvertently made you feel bad, Daniel here will sort that out.

@danielthescotsmanIf you have Thick calves and ankles this one is for you! 🙌

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Cankles can appear for a number of reasons, an injury like mine, or fluid retention or simple genetics. Lifestyle can be a factor, sitting for long periods of time doesn’t help. Hormones, of course pesky hormones, those suckers always getting involved where they’re not wanted.

Whatever the reason for an ample ankle there are styles which flatter, it’s basically a common sense approach. It clearly makes sense to avoid a sandal that has a strap around the ankle, saying ’look at me’ and also anything too dainty and fine. Gladly for me the elegant, high-heeled, strappy sandal has never been my go to. I walk like a man in drag when wearing high heels, for older readers think Dick Emery’s Mandy in some of the clips below.

I love a more clumpy style, most especially when wearing floaty, feminine clothes and since stompy sandals seem to suit a bigger ankle it feels like a win. If you’re a bit averse to chunky footwear and want something more elegant but like me, find heels a challenge to walk on, then a wedge can be a good solution. Those with less than slender ankles who are ok with tottering on skyscraper heels would be well served by a block heel. Many of these ideas mentioned below by the (very slender ankled) New York stylist, Alison Bruhn @thestylethatbindsus

She does however rule out loafers. I’m ignoring that bit of advice; my love for loafers (which I wrote about here) remains unbowed.

I also have a love for Converse. My first pair were purchased some time ago post seeing the inimitable Joanna Lumley wearing the classic Chuck Taylor black high tops. She was meeting will.i.am in New York - quick clip below of Joanna being her perfectly charming self. Full documentary here.

If you were just looking at the clip for Converse-wearing proof and found none (it was my hope but I couldn’t find the right clip) here she is rocking a pair on a morning telly programme.

I also have a green and orange pair, the range of colours is vast. They are great for glamming-down an outfit and of course cankle concealment.

I have spend hours looking at sandals to suit the cankle, and the conclusion I have reached is life is really to short to care. However, having done the leg work (sorry!) I’ll share a few pairs I think would flatter. Some nude styles for the pale skinned here, here and here.

A chunky pair from Timberland here

and SOREL above

I love the look of these from Sèzanne, I think the slanted strap would work but I haven’t tried them on so I can’t be sure.

These are similar from M&S, who incidentally do seem to regularly punch above their weight in footwear, second pair from Clarks at M&S.

Another pair from Sèzanne.

And finally a bit of leopard from John Lewis.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Paolo Nutini - New Shoes

As Daniel the Scotsman likes a generous ankle I thought maybe fellow Scot - Paolo Nutini might not be averse.

I love his voice and this song.

Hope you’re still with me. LONG old post which quite possibly only appeals to a handful of you but it’s only a few minutes of your life. If you have liked it a wee click on the ❤️ button would be much appreciated.

Thanks as ever,

Apologies for not pitching up with a post for the last couple of weeks. I have been feeling a bit up against it and I have been struck down by a sort of inertia which I was blaming on that short spell of hot weather (which now seems a hundred years ago) and it was obviously only the one week of sun and in fact I did start an article on the on how sunny days were great for doing nothing and then found myself editing it in the pissing rain, so it all seemed too irrelevant to post. I had missed the moment.*

The guilt and disappointment that goes with never feeling on top of anything is like a nagging ache, added to that a fierce frustration that I am consistently diverted away from doing the things that I want to do i.e. writing, leaves me with a need to blame something. I do realise that this scenario will be familiar to many. A friend kindly suggested that as my care role has been ramped up a little recently by a series of minor declines in my elderly mother’s health, it will have taken its toll, leaving little headspace for much else. I’ll take that – I’m sure it’s a factor, as it seeps into my all day, everyday, but I don’t want to turn my Substack newsletter into a whinge fest about the downsides of the job of caregiver, so onwards.

Just a little aside, I have been surprised and delighted that my skiving off seems to have been rewarded by a number of new subscribers recently, so a big fat welcome to any newbies.

So, things keep going missing. It is like living in the Bermuda Triangle. The range of items is mixed, from two pieces of crockery, a water bottle, a pair of secateurs, a stainless steel mini whisk and a glasses case (though this did reappear) and a bag of minty sweets. I’m assuming I have left the water bottle out and about somewhere while gardening, alongside, most probably, my secateurs. The loss of the latter troubles me enormously as they are a fabulous Niwaki pair, and they were a gift. I am usually so very precious about them I cannot fathom how they have gone missing and I have driven myself quite mad rummaging about under various bushes and shrubs convinced I must have put them down somewhere and been distracted.

I have asked Saint Anthony to help out and whilst he must have found getting so many requests from me a bit tiresome, he has delivered on one item I felt I had lost without trace. Another gift - my Lensrappa - a brilliant design which I use for sunglasses to prevent damage from being tossed in a bag to scratchville when out and about on those days that start with cloudless blue skies and full sun and then evolve into cloudy and wet; Cornwall basically.

I have a few pairs of sunglasses and keep them in their cases in an old vintagey biscuit tin in a cupboard. A sensible place to also store the Lenswrappa I had thought, but after a number of searches it was definitely not there, until on one final rummage I placed the tin back in the cupboard and noticed it had developed a wobble, the cause of which was my lost Lenswrappa, magnetically stuck to the base of the tin. Hooray!

Saint Anthony delivered again and found a bag of mintoes we had thought to have disappeared from a kitchen worktop but was found having spent several days in the door pocket of the car. Obviously this was not a loss we were madly lamenting but it was good to have the mystery solved.

The missing ceramics are a small Le Creuset pot which we use regularly and a cereal bowl. Neither of these have vanished without trace as mysteriously we found two tiny fragments of the green Le Creuset pot and two shards from the cereal bowl. Neither my husband nor I can recall any ‘smashing time’ of either item. I believe I have said before that I am a clumsy person so breakages are not rare in this household, but these two items have been broken with barely a trace of their remnants. Yes, I have resorted to checking the bin for wrapped up broken crockery. Drunkenness cannot be blamed, for any assuming the memory loss (or cack-handedness) is due to that.

We have wondered if the crockery disappearance can be attributed to a ghost we have been made aware of in our home. We’ve never seen the ghost. Her presence (it’s definitely a her) is heralded by a perfume that is not a scent I wear and could not have been attributed to any flowers, potpourri or diffusers in the building. My mother claims to have seen her while staying with us some time ago, but she did have a UTI at the time, so I didn’t pay it too much attention. A ghost that just wafts about smelling floral seems an unlikely candidate to smash and vanish crockery so we remain mystified.

World Cup

It’s here; the football fest that is the FIFA Men’s World Cup. I love tournament football and I am awash with wall charts detailing who’s playing who, when and where. It’s wall to wall games and I am in heaven. I will be watching as many as I can, though some fixtures alarmingly kick off time is in the early hours here. Scotland play their first game against Haiti at 2am this coming Sunday morning. I imagine there will be some quite ‘over-refreshed’ fans watching.

I will be supporting England Dear England - more on this later, but I also particularly love watching how other cultures approach the beautiful game. The fans and the players.

Just look at the South African team arriving at the airport here! How cool are they?

It didn’t end well for them, but hey early days.

I appreciate that for many the World Cup coverage can get tedious and as the tournament has grown in participants it is on for longer this time. Gladly there is always streaming for any folk needing to escape, but try looking at the Senegalese team in training without smiling.

I’m glossing over the shitshow that has been dealt to fans attending the World Cup; the way too expensive tickets, the massive hikes in transport and accommodation costs and visa issues. Not just for the fans, officials too. It’s all been a bit mad. Each tournament seems to bring with it more reasons to hate FIFA, the sports governing body. Clara at has written a brilliant post about it here.

For Ipswich Town fans (moi) the start of the tournament is also a welcome distraction, as it’s been a tough week. Our beloved manager, Kieran McKenna has left us. This man has brought utter joy to thousands of supporters, he has catapulted the club from the grim despair of playing football in the third tier of the English game to the top level, Premier League (twice - the first time we went too early!) He has been our messiah. His dedication, drive, ambition, belief, energy, player management and sheer hard work (alongside many others) has re-built my beloved football club and with it the town has celebrated, along with our pop royalty and proper fan Ed Sheeran. We thank Kieran profoundly and wish him well.

Dear England

Dear England is a four-part fictionalised drama based on James Graham’s multi award-winning play about Gareth Southgate and the England men’s football team. Joseph Fiennes plays the former England manager and is uncannily like him. I tend to agree with the Jack Seale’s review in The Guardian here that it was veering towards a caricature and also glosses over his tactical approach. As a former defender, it was often that; too defensive. However, I did enjoy the drama as whilst the dialogue was fictional I felt it brought an insight into how it is for the players. Yes, of course they are immensely talented, rich young men, living the dream, but they are also human beings, with frailties. I certainly remember thinking that when Gareth Southgate took over as England manager the players did appear to be in a happier place.

Kitchen Disco of the Week

Van Morrison - Precious Time

Whilst I said earlier the World Cup is with us for five whole weeks, we know that of course that time will rush past… and of course, that it is precious.

This is the second time Van the Man has appeared as my song of the week and no apologies required for that, especially as he appears here with boogie-woogie maestro Jules on piano.

Thanks for reading this far. If you liked it I would be most grateful for a click on the ❤️ button as it helps my writing become more visible to non-subscribers and makes me happy. Thanks again.

*sun is back… and so very welcome! 🌞

I am not professing to be some kind of fashion guru. I’ve pretty much robbed all I know from magazines, Pinterest, Instagram and from a long time ago when we had TV makeover programmes, like ‘What Not To Wear’. I follow inspirational folk on here too, Anna Cascarina, Lindsay Sword, The Wardrobe Edit and to mention a few.

I have learned most from simply getting older. The wisdom gathered from years of trial and error. The utter joy of aging.

I love a list. Writing something in list form can feel freer and easier to write because you’re not trying to link one idea to another. It’s just ‘here are my thoughts’ you can pick out the ones that resonate with you and ignore the rest. So here are a just some things I have learned about how to dress to look your best.

I want to say at this point that dressing to flatter, wanting to look good is not vanity. Taking care of your appearance is, for me anyway, about taking care of yourself and we’re all into self-care these days aren’t we?

So, here goes…

1. We should all be aiming for ‘effortless’ but this may well may require an effortful approach. A lot of trying on and experimenting. You may say ‘oh I have no idea what suits me’, but I think you do. You do know when something feels good. Trust that feeling.

2. If you’re feeling too big, it is tempting to hide in bagginess, to wear a huge sack. I have done this so I do understand it, but what I have learned is that you will simply look bigger than you actually are. I agree with , extremely baggy is best for the skinny, not bigger gals. As she says here,

‘Huge dresses - huge anything - aren’t made for fat people. They’re made to accentuate the thinness of thin people, by contrasting the acres of fabric with a thin body.’

Go loose if you like but keep some shape somewhere - at the bust, waist or hips.

3. If you want to look slimmer (fair to say I think most of us, unless already very skinny want to) then think of the part of you that is the slenderest (more on this in point 13). If you’ve got a big tummy but a pert dainty arse and slim legs, then don’t for heaven’s sake cover up your tiny bottom and slender limbs, try a loose-fitting top, possibly flaring from the bust, that ends at the top of the hips. .

4. Same with jamming yourself into things that are too tight. It will make you look bigger, fitted as opposed to tight is always going to look better, whatever your size.

5. Ignore the size number, there is such a huge variance in actual garment size. If you really can’t bear the idea of an XL hanging in your wardrobe, cut the label out.

6. Safe to say tight will also mean uncomfortable, so if you’re wearing something that feels constrictive you will be wriggling around, pulling things down and straightening things out. You’re not going to look good or confident or feel either of those things, so bin everything that is too tight. Clothes need to fit well to look good, so that’s skimming the body, not clenching it in.

7. If you keep feeling the need to pull down a short skirt, then it’s too short for you. Not too short in general; too short for you, for your comfort. If you’re completely at ease wearing a fanny pelmet, go for it i.e. if your bottom is akin to that of Kylie Minogue in her gold shorts.

8. A word on shapewear. Shapewear is good for providing a smooth line but don’t wear it in an attempt to shrink in size, that won’t work because of the comfort thing.

9. Declutter your wardrobe often. I am less diligent on this than I used to be and I’m suffering as a result. It’s always a good idea to start small, tackle just a small section of your wardrobe, say tops or jeans and ask yourself ‘do I feel good when I’m wearing this?’ If the answer isn’t an emphatic yes, it really should go. This is hard.

10. When adding to your wardrobe use Kat Farmer’s Rule of Three, from her book Get Changed. Three occasions where an item will work. Three outfits that you already own where said item will fit.

11. Look at the clothes you love and try to understand why you do. I’ve learned the styles that suit me. I love long maxi skirts (alas I have a varicose vein, so great for hiding that) and worn with a fitted top suits me better. I wear high-waisted jeans because whilst I am tall, I am long bodied, so my legs need elongating, to lessen the long torso. I am pear shaped (as my late mother-in-law kindly referred to as ‘heavy hipped’ - I know!) so I usually go for lighter tops to bottoms or one solid colour.

12. I can be guilty of getting a bit too matchy matchy and adhering rather too strictly to rules of colours that don’t belong together, to the point that if I’m at home and feeling a bit chilly and need to grab a cardi, it has to be in a colour that goes with what I’m wearing, even if I’m just slumped in front of the TV. Mad. I have started bending these rules of late, putting brown with navy… yes I know, daring.

13. We all have bits we know are our best bits. Yes, it might just be a slender wrist or ankle, or a long neck. Maybe it’s your hair or your hands, perhaps you have great nails… there will be something. Whatever it is, draw attention to this area with either jewellery, scarves, shoes or belts.

14. Proportions, and balancing them, are important. A long-flared skirt needs a simple fitted top. Likewise barrel shaped trousers will not be enhanced by a big baggy jummy. The other way round, if you’re a bit top heavy, make sure your bottom half is more fitted.

15. I mentioned in my post on waistcoats that a line down the centre of the body is flattering. A jacket, a cardigan, a long slim waistcoat or something knitted and sleeveless in a dark colour worn over something lighter will work well. An extreme version of how ‘dark on the outside with light in the middle’ can flatter, is the Stella McCartney Octavia miracle dress, famously worn by Kate Winslet.

16. Clothes for high summer. If you’re British don’t spend too much on them, as you’ll only wear them a handful of times and that will be when you’re abroad somewhere hot. If you can’t resist splashing out on something skimpy make sure it can be layered. (I’m about to be proved wrong here as I’m writing this on the cusp of a scorchio Bank Holiday weekend in the UK.)

17. Learn what suits you. You do know. You may have to try on a lot of things to find out, but as you get to know what works you will save a lot of time; example, big busted gals should not waste fitting room energy trying on something with a high round neck.

18. Use accessories to draw attention away from areas you don’t like. Wide hips draw attention up. Wide middle attention up and down. Wide shoulders, draw down to middle.

19. Find someone either a celebrity or someone you know personally whose style you admire and try to establish what is the essence of that style. Is it classic, is it bright colours, is it fitted, baggy, smart or casual. Can you work out why you like it? Do they just wear nice tops?

20. If you feel good in what you are wearing – you will look good. So, if you suffer with getting scrubbed up for special occasions, try to find a smarter version of what you feel best in. If your happy place is jogging pants and a T-shirt, the jogging pants could be ramped up by a jersey trouser paired with a T-shirt in a more glamorous, silky fabric. A jacket will uplift anything, chose an informal fabric like linen or jersey and you’ll still feel like you.

I’m going to stop now, as I while I was sitting here quietly bashing out this post on my trusty iMac desktop, DPD arrived and I’ve just had to scamper downstairs to take delivery of a shiny new MacBook. So, I’m anticipating the unbridled joy of opening a new Apple product (oh the elegant packaging!) plus I am desperate to play with the contents, though the sun is shining and the outside beckons. So I’m off.

Hope this was of some use. Thanks for reading.

PS. Sorry no Kitchen Disco Record of the Week this week - will double up next time. Oh and if you liked this post in any small way, you know what to do. Click on the little ❤️ button below. Thanks so much.

This post is a little tardy. I hadn’t planned to write about the promotion to the Premier League of my football club Ipswich Town. I thought if you’re not into football it’ll be dull and if your eyes have already rolled skywards at the very mention of the beautiful game, apologies, but you’ve probably clicked away from here already, hopefully not all of you.

I was prompted to write this post by this weeks’ edition of Desert Island Discs where actor David Morrisey was the guest. The first record he chose was ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ by Jerry and the Pacemakers, the anthem of Liverpool Football Club. As he introduced it he said, ‘If you don’t get football, then you don’t get it, but for me it’s a really important part of my life.’ I thought, ‘Same.’ Football is a big part of my life, I’ve written about it before, about how it feels to be a football fan here, so why on earth would I not want to write about how it feels when your football club has had a big moment, a massive moment; huge.

Ipswich Town fans have had many, many years in the wilderness, where success was hard to come by and then it feels like almost overnight things start to happen for us. We start to get some success and that success builds into momentum and then we are lifted to heights that had seemed, not that long ago, impossibly out of reach. We have enjoyed three momentous seasons in the last four years and I find it difficult to express how it feels other than to say it is utter, undiluted joy. It is elation.

The thrill of ‘jeopardy’ is essential to all competitive sport. The way football leagues are structured, teams relegated and promoted every season, the gaining or losing of huge financial reward dictating a club’s future, means the jeopardy in football feels particularly intense. It means a single player’s extraordinary skill, scoring a worldy out of the blue, or a simple bit of luck, when a deflection off a player’s arse dribbles over the line and you’re transported to heaven. Conversely a simple defensive error, a slip on wet grass, a poor refereeing decision and hell is where you’re headed. You can literally be seconds away from ecstasy, only to find yourself plunged into agonising despair. So, when it comes to the final whistle of the season and you’re safely in the arms of bliss, there is no feeling like it, I can’t help smiling as I write.

Here is that moment for the fans.

And for the team in the dressing room with pop royalty…

If you have got this far and you’re not that into football, thank you for indulging me and thank you to #itfc for the joy.

Ooof! I’ve been away from posting here for a while, I have been finding that my caring role has taken up rather too much head space. Carers are often, quite enthusiastically, urged to make sure that they look after themselves as well, which is easier said than done, however I have come to realise that pitching up here every week is actually a sort of self-care for me. I had planned to get loads of stuff done in the time freed up by not posting; that has not happened, but I’m back for the simple reason I love it here. I think it’s good for me.

I did a post on layering a couple of months ago and briefly mentioned that a waistcoat can be a useful and stylish layer. We should, by now, be in the territory of shedding layers but the weather has been so changeable lately I have regularly found myself wearing too few layers and conversely the odd glorious warm day wearing far too many.

I love a waistcoat. Waistcoats can play multiple roles. They can be tailored or casual. They can glam up or glam down. They can be knitted, fitted, or oversized. They can nip in a waist and neaten a look, or worn casually open for a more relaxed feel. They can sharpen a simple T shirt and jeans or dress down a glamorous frock. They can also look great worn on their own, if you’re not ‘baring upper arm’ averse; I am, as women my age often are, for good reason frankly, but if you are sufficiently confident about the appearance of a full bare arm go for it.

I have a personal preference for a V-neck. I feel it’s the most flattering for most people and if used for layering it’s more versatile. V-necks are certainly more flattering for a bigger bust; a round, higher neck better for small boobage. If you’re somewhere in between, then both shapes are options.

Waistcoats are masters at providing a slimming down effect by drawing the eye inward, that central vertical line trick bringing focus to your middle not your width. This works whether open or buttoned up.

Bigger, curvier figures may feel more inclined to wear a longer waistcoat, loose, unbuttoned, but I think that wearing a waistcoat this way can sometimes miss a trick. I plan to do a longer post on dressing to flatter, whether thick or thin, but in the meantime I will just say that I feel too many folk who feel a bit too big hide under bagginess ( has some sound advice about exactly this here). I have gone down the hide my body in a sack route and I get that it can just feel more comfortable. However, it always goes with the risk of just making everything look bigger. The versatile waistcoat buttoned up to give some fitted definition can counter that.

So, here are some I’ve found. Firstly, some classic, more formal styles.

Proper formal here from Riess

Some knitted options, these are from M&S

Now we come to denim which is great for its dressing down capacity.

Denim waistcoats like the one above are sometimes referred to as Gillets, which is fine when it’s denim but I do have a resistance to a particular type of Gillet; the ones where fleece is involved or tweed possibly, or heaven forfend, quilting. They are just a bit too ‘country woman’ for me. I live in the country so I see a lot of them; most often these in olive with a faux leather brown trim, usually worn zipped up, and imho they are not terribly flattering. For me they are just a step too far towards the ‘fuss and nonsense’ country women portrayed here by French and Saunders.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

The stylish Harry Styles loves a waistcoat, so this week’s post made me think of him.

I love his cover of Tears for Fears - Everybody Wants to Rule the World - a song so very fitting for these times.

If you’ve got this far down this long post thank you for reading and if you liked it in anyway please click on the  ❤️ button as it helps make my newsletter more visible to non-subscribers.

Thanks again.

Sorry folks but I’ve been sidetracked by my care role which has been a bit more demanding and energy sapping of late so, I find myself in need of a ‘re-boot’.

As a result, this week I’m recycling my Easter post from last year here. Apologies to those subscribers who’ve been with me a while for this ‘repeat’ but hopefully you’ll find a re-visit worth your while and for more recent subscribers, who haven’t done a deeper dive into previous posts, it’ll be fresh for you.

I will be putting up an Easter branch, and this year will have the pleasure of adding my new Arket decorations which I featured a few weeks ago here.

More joy from Arket here and here..

My Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Following an Easter theme I’ve picked a song from The Chicks (formerly Dixie Chicks), a cover of a Fleetwood Mac song, written by the inimitable Stevie Nicks.

It is a special thing when the lyrics of a song seem to speak to you; when they articulate exactly how you feel. At times this song has been one of those for me.

I’m planning on a taking a couple of weeks for my re-boot and I’m hoping to get a little bit of ‘trotters up’ time (I’ve been dying to use that expression ever since brought it to my attention with this clip from Danny Dyer).

I wish you all a Happy Easter 🐣 and as ever, thanks for reading. A click on the ❤️ button would be gladly received, if you feel so inclined.

Just something I’ve been idly wondering about for a while, why do the vast majority of young women wear their hair long these days? I think I noticed this first when watching women’s football. All those long blonde ponytails bobbing about. There seems such little variety in styles and most often (whether playing football or not) the long hair is tied back or up.

Is it the male gaze? A lot of men (most I suspect) prefer long hair on a female; it being deemed more feminine, but surely that’s not the reason. It seems a bit of a regression for the sisterhood. There is of course nothing wrong with wanting to look feminine, but it seems a shame for so many to seek the same look. I lament the lack of edgy shorter hair cuts.

It might be because there is a trend towards colouring in the training of hairdressers, ahead of cutting skills.

Hairdresser Vivienne Johns, thinks so, she says,

‘The art of cutting is getting lost. Back in the 90s when I trained, colour was cutting’s poor cousin. The cutters were the stars of the salon. Fancy tool belts, leather trousers, the lot!
But the game has changed…Colour is the main event now. And the new-gen stylists? Some of the best colourists I’ve seen. Way better than I was at their age. But that shift meant longer hair came into fashion again. Balayage demanded it.’

It might also be cost. Shorter haircuts might be easier to look after (not always) but they require more regular salon visits to keep it in shape so cost wise, they are higher maintenance. Though in my humble opinion it is more important to invest in a good hair cut than on any amount of clothes, accessories or make-up. It puzzles me why some people spend so very little time, money and effort on something that is after all, worn every single day.

I hope that someday soon we might return to the days where there is a greater variety of different hair styles; it just makes life more interesting. I love to see a young woman with a striking cut, it’s refreshing.

Some great chops below featured in Marie Claire here and Vogue here.

Patience

I meant to post about this drama series when it was being broadcast but it slipped off my radar, but my ramble on short haircuts has brought it back to me. The main character Patience, played by Ella Maisy Purvis has a great haircut and great style in general, wearing short boxy jackets, with simple trousers and sporting a fabulous rucksack. She plays an autistic police archivist, who, with her unique insights, provides the key to solving the puzzling crimes.

The cases are admittedly far-fetched and at times utterly bonkers, but it didn’t spoil my enjoyment. All the characters work well together.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Staying with the short hair theme - an artist I love and admire, plus she has a great haircut, Sharleen Spiteri.

Say What you Want - Texas

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I want to talk about my love of beautiful glassware today. It’s bordering on an obsession, to add to my list of those, which I wrote about here. My late father was also a bit fanatical about glass so it always feels like a nice connection to him.

I am quite the fusspot about glasses. I prefer my drinking vessel to feel heavy in the hand and unless it’s for water, I need something ‘thin lipped’, I’m just not happy with a heavy rim, plus I have distinct requirements for different drinks. If I’m drinking wine it depends on the colour; red I like to drink from a fat bottomed (or large-bowled I believe is the term) balloon shaped glass, white in a slimmer style. For something sparkling I’m happy with a flute or coupe, as long as it’s heavy and thin (quite the contradiction). I don’t want to drink wine out of a coloured glass. I don’t mind a coloured stem; green is my preference. I also like the occasional bit of etching.

Just as you’re starting to think, Jeez I wouldn’t want to invite her over for dinner, I do need to stress this is solely my approach to glassware in my own home. It’s just a quirk. I’m not a lunatic about it. I’ll politely sup from anything when out and about.

Also, I will happily quaff water from anything coloured or with a heavier rim.

These exacting requirements make it difficult for me to shop for glasses online. It’s difficult to establish how heavy they will feel, crystal will generally mean heavier, lead crystal, as the name suggests heavier still, but it’s still hard to get any an idea of the rim situation. So, unless the manufacturer is familiar to me, an in-person purchase from a glass shop is required.

Some online retailers provide helpful online images.

These are from a John Lewis collab with Sanderson (thought they just did fabrics and wallpaper, obviously not).

Overhead photographs of the rims is not a service JL are able to provide across their whole range, but I guess sometimes the name of the manufacturer is enough to go on, Waterford being a good example. These look beautiful but a fearful price for the cack-handed user.

Quite naturally, for me it seems anyway, the more expensive an item is, the most likely it will meet my requirements, but I am a clumsy person, so I cannot afford to get too spendy when it comes to glassware, however, clearly cheap robust glasses won’t really do it for me unless for water.

TK Maxx used to be my go to and whilst I have found the La Divina glasses by Villeroy and Boch on their website for less than half price, it’s not often decent makes find their way to the shelves in-store these days, which is a shame as it used to be a fabulous source of quality glassware. They had a regular stock of ‘slightly imperfect’ rejects from some very reputable manufacturers that were so slightly flawed you could barely notice, but I haven’t had any retail triumphs like that for a while now. I do still check out their stock if I find myself in a store. It is a demanding shopping experience as it does require a lot of box opening to check rim and weight, with the added tension of risking a break before purchase.

You might be making the link of broken wine glasses to too much alcohol, but I drink a lot less alcohol these days and I’m still having a smashing time - literally. There are so many good alternatives to alcohol that feel grown up and simple tonic water has always been a refreshing alternative. A little trick to reduce alcohol consumption that I learned many years ago from the mother of a friend, is to pour a Hi-ball tumbler full of tonic, all iced and sliced and then just add a splash of your spirit of choice gin/vodka, whatever. The first sip provides a full on blast of flavour and you simply don’t notice that it’s not very alcoholic as you progress down the glass.

I’ll tell you what it was that prompted this reduction in my alcohol consumption. I use the Voice Memo app on my iPhone to record things I need to remember, from ideas for my Substack, random things to add to my to do list, something I’ve seen on TV, a programme on the radio, a book I’ve heard about, or a music track that I want to add to playlist; anything and everything basically. One evening, I don’t know how many glasses down, not many I felt at the time, I recorded a ‘note to self’ and when I came to play it back… oh my word! My speech was slurred. It made me utterly cringe. I felt ashamed. I don’t want to sound like that. I’m not going to say ever again, the chances are there will be the odd occasion where a little too much has been imbibed, but they will be rare. I have mentioned in a previous post that I have adopted a drink one water one approach to alcohol; it works for me.

The History Bureau – Putin and the Apartment Bombs

The joy of having Radio 4 rambling on in my background most days and when I’m driving means that I am introduced to many subjects I wouldn’t necessarily seek out. I came across this Radio 4 series half-way through and it really pulled me in. I was gripped by it and so went back to listen from the start.

It’s an investigation of the Russian apartment bombings back in 1999, I’m ashamed to admit I had no recollection of these events. It looks at how the crisis fuelled Putin’s rise and examines the possibility of FSB (formerly the KGB) involvement; Chechen militants had been blamed. It covers the poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko who had been investigating the bombings, two further suspicious deaths of a lawyer and a journalist connected with a quest for the truth and the intimidation of many others.

The story unfolds like a dark Conspiracy/Spy thriller novel and is all the more absorbing and shocking as we know this is not fiction.

It’s balanced and provides counter opinions and unlike a gripping thriller/ murder mystery, there is no definite conclusion. The enigma remains and any further investigation unsurprisingly suppressed by Russian authorities.

Last one Laughing

It’s back on our screens hoorah! I wrote about the first series here. The ever-lovable Bob Mortimer is back alongside some familiar faces and some comedians new to me. Two episodes in and already I’ve had tears of laughter running down my face. Couldn’t be more welcome. Pure joy.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Here’s one that would definitely make it to my Desert Island Discs list. We’ve all done one haven’t we?

Revolution - Kelly Jones and Jools Holland Big Band

Bearing in mind you can only take 8 discs to the desert island, this one track provides me with my beloved boogie-woogie piano playing from Jools Holland, the magnificent voice of the impossibly gorgeous Kelly Jones and it’s a Beatles track. Win, win, win.

Filmed in 2001, pre smoking ban. Catch Kate Moss, with a fabulous hair cut having a gasp.

That’s it for this week. Thank you for reading and as ever if you’d be so kind to press the ❤️ button, I‘d be most grateful.

Thanks again.

As well as Mother’s Day this Sunday (in the UK) it is also Oscar’s night. I wrote about Mothering Sunday and what it means to me as a non-mother last year here.

I have mixed feelings about the Oscars these days. The ceremony used to fascinate me. I loved watching the highlights but never bothered to stay to up to watch it; well, I did start to watch it once but soon headed up the wooden stairs to Bedfordshire, as there was far too much boring ‘filler’ going on. I don’t get anything from the meet and greet stuff with the stars. The over-excited dramatic fawning, is for me, a bit of a cringefest, but I do like to look at the glamorous beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes, though some are faintly ridiculous. I was going to share a selection of the mad and bad outfits we have witnessed in the past, but it feels too mean. One or two, lets say odd, choices feature here (mentioning no names Ariana Grande) on the BBC News coverage of last year’s ceremony.

I think I have said more than once that I am drawn to glamorous clothes that don’t suit my lifestyle (would love a therapist to unpick that). It might have something to do with my latent but by now pretty much extinguished desire for fame.

On moving to the country, I had a phase of toning down my penchant for smart clothes in order to fit in, but soon realised it wasn’t me. As I’ve got older I realise that I need to be myself and if I’m in company that deems me ‘over done’ well that’s their problem, not mine. I’m certainly not judging the person who looks like they’ve just been mucking out their chickens or decorating their hall before they’ve headed out for lunch or a couple of pints of an evening. That’s up to them. It truly does not matter to me.

I digress. A way around this scenario for me, is to dress down the glamorous item. I mentioned this in my post on velvet jackets; it’s the perfect way to liberate ‘special occasion wear’ from your wardrobe.

Here are a few tips for glamming up or down.

• Denim will play down anything that feels a bit too much. A demin jacket with a pretty frock, or a glamorous sparkly top worn with jeans will look and feel good.

• Denim jackets can also be dressed up with some sparkly brooches (as with many things in design, odd numbers look best).

  

• Footwear can do the same. A pair of Converse can rub off something too elegant and bring it down to earth, ditto a pair of well-loved loafers. Conversely a smart heel can lift an outfit up (literally).

• Some bold jewellery, a pair of striking earrings or a necklace have a plain outfit boosted and a simple pearl stud, or gold hoop will lighten a dramatic gown.

• Smart jackets will lift up anything; they look great with scruffy worn jeans.

• Leather jackets can do both; the uplift, when soft and buttery or dress something down when a bit bashed up and vintagey.

• Scarves are great. Small and dainty when subtle is needed or a bold print, madly dominating to boost something ordinary.

• Knitwear. A plain woolly jumper looks great with a satin skirt, or some embellished knitwear can instantly add glamour to an everyday bottom half.

• A crisp plain white shirt will do both jobs. I give you Sharon Stone.

Reading these back I wonder if these ‘tips’ may sound patronising, a bit, ‘well obviously’, so apologies if that’s what you’re thinking, but it may not be the case for everyone so I’m leaving them in.

We‘re back on the Oscars. Here is Sharon famously ‘glamming down’ in 1998.

I love this clever, softening of something impossibly glamorous. The Vera Wang skirt of beauty, paired with a simple white shirt. Apparently it was her husband’s dress shirt from Gap, not sure he would have been shopping at Gap, but it makes a good story.

Another perfect example for me of understated glamour here by Blackpink singer Lisa at last year’s ceremony.

The Sharon Stone stunning skirt and plain shirt combo was channelled recently by ME +EM here

How fabulous is this? I immediately added this garment to my Clothes/Accessories stalk list, a Safari folder I created to add items I covet that I either can’t afford or justify. Some things are so fabulous that they never get sufficiently reduced, or if they do, they have sold out of my size, but I have had some triumphs.

I am beyond excited to report that this skirt has recently landed in my wardrobe. When it was first reduced it was out of stock in my size, and still too dear to be honest, but I clicked on the ‘notify me’ button with low expectations of anyone returning something a beautiful as this. When I got the email saying it was back in stock, I just impulsively added it to basket. I have had to jettison my cost per wear mantra to justify this purchase, I usually only attend one black-tie event a year and zero award ceremonies. So, I have re-calibrated cost per wear and will now view this garment in terms of ‘joy per wear’. I LOVE to ‘frock-up’ and therefore it’s a winner.

A bit of telly

Mix Tape

This little uplifting drama took me back to my student days in Sheffield. It’s a nostalgic romance, following two ex-lovers Alison and Dan reconnecting via their love of music. We follow how they met (in 1989) in their late teens, which held some very dark times for Alison and to where they are now, decades later, where both are married with children.

I preferred the female character as her younger self. Older Dan did ring true, but older Alison less so. It didn't spoil it for me.

I love the idea of remembering your first love forever. I have googled mine. Christ! No hair!

I don’t find it easy to write reviews, so handing you over to Luke Buckmaster who does a great job here in The Guardian.

My Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

I’ve chosen two this week from 1989 prompted by my telly pick above.

Firstly, I’ve chosen one featured in Mix Tape. Lovesong - The Cure. It’s a song I’ve always loved. I’ve chosen a video with the lyrics as they are ‘love song’ perfection.

Soul II Soul - Back to Life

Another blast from 1989 - I’ve always liked Soul II Soul. I love the sound they make and the way they move.

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There is still I believe a bit of friction going on between the makeup wearers among us and those who prefer to go without. There are the barefaced braggarts for whom wearing makeup is a sign of weakness, that those in the naked faces camp are in some way better feminists. That they lack vanity and are more authentic. Does that make me, a makeup devotee, false? No. Neither does my love of makeup make me weak or vain.

How I look is important to me. Some brilliant, honest words on a recent post here about the importance of feeling good about how you look (this one is about shedding weight not makeup but it’s relevant). I know that makeup improves how I look and if I can in any way elevate my appearance then that is going to make me feel better.

I’m going to use quote from Dear You where I talk to the children I never had, touching on my need to wear makeup (apologies for yet another shameless book plug but bear with).

‘I look better with make-up and as I’m sure I have said before, to me, looking good is feeling good, so quite why some women are sniffy about make-up I don’t know. I feel there is a profound sense of honour in looking after yourself and for me that includes a beauty routine.’

The reason I mention this is because I received a sparkling review from a book blogger, but with one remark that took all the glow from the review. She had taken offence, as she felt I was judging those who don’t wear makeup and she talked of skin allergies that prevented her wearing it… oh dear. She’d missed my point. I wear makeup for me. I have never thought that those who don’t are somehow misguided or missing out. It’s an entirely individual thing. You do you. However, I‘m not happy with the view that a woman who is heavily made up is somehow tarty or letting down the sisterhood in some way.

Truth be told I simply don’t feel ‘myself’ without makeup. If on occasion I find myself in a barefaced interaction with somebody other than my husband or close friends I simply feel a bit awkward, not myself, but I don’t feel that my discomfort is a affliction I need to overcome or correct. It’s just how I am. I am comfortable in knowing what is right for me. I use makeup so I can better like the look of myself which can help me face the world. Is that a weakness, or is it sensibly finding a tool that helps me navigate my life? It’s surely not a bad thing to want to present your best self to the world?

My need for makeup stems from two things, I had crap skin as a teenager, not full-blown acne, but a LOT of spots. Spots I covered up with makeup so I could feel more confident. Another reason is my eye lashes. I am fortunate to have fairly decent lashes lengthwise, but they have fair ends and without mascara I’m in albino rabbit territory, they simply do not exist.

I like the ritual of sitting at my dressing table, just me, quietly, with Radio 4 on in the background, applying my little bit of slap each morning. It provides a calm, peaceful preparation for my day. The products I use make me look better and feel better. It takes me around 10-15 minutes for my ‘everyday look’. A little longer if I’m getting ready for an occasion or a night out. Actually, how long I spend is irrelevant. I wonder if I’m trying to justify myself here by saying ‘but it’s only 10 minutes’? A symptom of the difficulty women have in justifying any time at all spent on their own pleasure? Probably.

So, how I look is important to me, and this is something I have not said out loud until now. Why? Is it because my striving to look my best is something to be ashamed of? I think yes. Is this because it smacks of trying too hard? Possibly. Of being self-obsessed? I know I’m not, but I am older and yes, fucking wiser, so at last I can be honest. I love makeup and how it makes me feel.

So, what do I wear? I thought it might be useful to share my go to products, the ones that I would recommend to a friend. Most, in fact nigh on all of them, will have been recommended by . I am a slave to her beauty column in the Sunday Times Style magazine. I have a box full of clippings, yes I still do that. It’s a little unsatisfactory as they are in no particular order, just a random pile, so it can be a bit of a toil to flick through them to find that something or other I vaguely remember her recommending, when I could just google it, but there, I still do it. Familiar readers will know that for anything and everything in my life I will buy a book, so of course I purchased India Knight’s Beauty Edit (extract here may be paywalled) an excellent volume, which I refer to often and have some of said clippings stuffed inside it.

Also in the beauty section of my ‘library’ are a couple of great volumes from another beauty writer I hugely admire, Sali Hughes, I’ve linked to her Substack here but she hasn’t posted for a while.

Caroline Hirons is another excellent source of reliable beauty info, on skin care in particular.

My makeup routine

I start with a primer. I used to be a nothing but Bare Minerals gal, but something seemed to change there (or of course something may have changed in my skin) to make it less effective and to be honest at one point the range became so vast it was confusing. I’ve just taken a look and it’s not as I remember, so I may revisit. In the meantime I’ll continue with the very basic one I use which is oh so cheap but does the job.

Pore Blur

I have the classic T-Zone, oily shiny thing going on and of course pores that I’d rather were less visible. I also prefer a matt look, so this does the job for me. It’s not hugely long lasting but I find a little can be slicked on to improve any areas that have gotten too shiny later in the day.

Next I put on a BB cream, which is not a foundation but provides the all the coverage I need.

Eborian BB Crème

This product is a dream. You need the smallest amount, and it lasts well and most importantly doesn’t look like you’re wearing foundation, it just looks like your skin, only better. I put the tiniest blob in my palm, swish it around with a foundation brush, daub it on where I need it most and then swirl the brush around everywhere. It really is heaven to use.

I follow the BB cream with an attempt to hide my dark circles with under eye concealer.

I swear the dark circles under my eyes appeared in Fresher’s Week and have been the bane of my life ever since. I have recently gathered that I need a corrector to sort the dark bit and then concealer on top of that, but this remains something of a holy grail for me as I have yet to find a product that truly suits me.

Therefore I’m a little reluctant to mention the concealer I’m using as it’s not really doing it for me. It’s again from the Korean brand Erborian. I use a combo of two shades and it does improve things slightly. I do find the tube it comes in gets very messed up with product but this could be ‘operator error’.

Next up, some brow enhancement.

Gimme Brow

As I’ve got older my eyebrows have needed more help. I get those ‘fishing line’ white ones appearing randomly. I have plucked the odd one, but I gather it’s not a good idea long term as it’ll create follicle damage and prevent hair regrowth so either trimming them or ‘colouring them in’ seems the best option. The best product I have found to enhance my brows is Gimme Brow by Benefit. I also learnt via a Sali Hughes video that it’s best to start applying any brow colour at the centre of the brow (when there is more product on the wand) and work outwards, it provides a more natural look.

Then it’s time for attention to those fair ended lashes.

The search for a perfect mascara has been a long one, but I think I’ve got there. The key for me with any mascara is my massive aversion to clumping. I can’t be doing with a mascara that clumps lashes together, I’m sure this is pretty much universal, though occasionally I see it in magazines as a ‘look’ – not for me. I also struggle with a big unwieldy brush, so whilst not a deal breaker I prefer a slimmer wand. So, I’ve chosen two mascaras, that work for me, I have found them to be the best non-clumpers and that also give good length definition.

My favourite is Ilia. Charlotte Tilbury’s Exaggereyes is a close second.

Of course, the odd clump will still appear and to solve that problem I use a basic plastic toothpick to separate any stuckness. Needless to say great care is required here, I have poked my eye on occasion so it’s not a procedure to be rushed. Many years ago I bought a plastic lash separator, called Savvy lash, it was just a fiver but it soon snapped off, so I resorted to the toothpick. However, writing this post has led me down an eyelash separator rabbit hole. There is a large range of much more sophisticated tools available (yes ok not difficult beat a toothpick in terms of sophistication). There are many but this fold-up one from Tweezerman and another from UKLASH (as opposed to lash separators from any other part of the world) look like they’d do the job.

More on lash enhancement.

Lancôme Cils Booster XL Mascara Primer

This is not an everyday product for me. I use it when I want more eye lash enhancement. As the name suggests they are a boost. It makes lashes look thicker and longer and according to Lancôme ‘a look that is intense and captivating.’ That’ll do me. This is a product that was recommended by a friend who was urged to purchase it by a random punter whilst at the Lancôme counter. It’s a joy.

Lastly I add a bit of blusher – I use a MAC Powder Blush

and finish with Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder

If it’s more than an everyday makeup I start and finish with a quick spritz of Charlotte Tilbury Air Brush Flawless Setting Spray.

Then that’s me done. Feeling good and ready to start my day

I have mainly given you links to Boots in this post as they have 30% off premier beauty brands at the moment.

Spring Decorations

Just look at these! Boy do we need a little something to make the corners of our mouths turn up in these days of days.

I’m calling them Spring decorations because it’s far too early to mention Easter, isn’t it? We seem to perpetually be trying to get ahead of ourselves, though little wonder that we may feel to need to scramble away from these horrifying times. So, I wanted to share them with you now because by the time we are ready to decorate our homes for Easter they may well be sold out.

Just look at these little dears. I think my favourite is Danni the Daffodil, but they are all charming. Delilah bunny’s little face looks so full of love and Blossom wearing her pink cardi. There are many more from Felt So Good.

These landed in my Inbox from Arket and yes dear reader I dived in and placed an order before taking a diversion to the Felt so Good website only to discover they are slightly cheaper there… sigh.

Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Coldplay - Sunshine on Leith

I have not been dancing around the kitchen to this one, but wanted to share it, as it’s so beautiful. I came across it last weekend watching BBC Radio 2’s Piano Room the programmes are an utter delight. Coldplay’s performance of The Proclaimers ‘Sunshine on Leith‘ a particular stand out for me.

Lotta lotta links this week, so well done for reading this far. Thanks so much for your attention and if you liked it an any way a click on the ❤️ button would be much appreciated.

Thanks as ever,

I realise I’m late to the layering party, most fashion led folk will have written something about layers about three months ago, however, I did mention in my first post of the year that I love to layer, so, grasping any excuse to waste time browsing the websites of my favourite fashion retailers, I thought I’d share what I‘ve found.

I realise I am probably stating the obvious but the joy of wearing a number of thin layers is way comfier than a thick, bulky garment. Also, again obviously, it allows flexibility to peel off as and when, which is quite the requirement presently as temperatures seem to be a bit up and down.

Top prize for layering attire must go to ME +EM as the garment construction of their layering tops simply works. The body of the shirt is a soft lightweight jersey providing a thin, smooth layer that’s comfortable to wear, while the decorative details are placed strategically so they can been seen layered under knitwear.

This one is probably more me and as it’s sleeveless, one could go an extra layer beneath it on cooler days.

I know, I know, ME+EM are quite spendy, but as I am sure I have mentioned before, the cost per wear equation needs to be taken into account. I am not, however a candidate for those featured below, the elaborate cuffs are not going to suit my lifestyle or my clumsy trait.

Other layering tops are available! Here are some that have been on my radar.

Uniglo have a great selection. These are a cashmere blend in scoop, crew or turtle neck styles and in a good range of colours.

Similar below from Busby and Fox, a little independent clothing brand that I feature often. They are good at thin layers, coats, jackets and accessories, with an actual shop near enough for me to visit in Truro.

M&S have loads, here are three from a range they call second skin.

Some more from Next

Some dotty ones, if you’re bored of plain here and here again from Next

Obviously a simple white cotton T-shirt is the simplest most direct layer to start with – some great advice here from on the criteria for purchasing a great cotton Tee.

Anna Eleri Hart

the cotton club: where to shop

If you were to ask the majority of this Substack fashion community (readers and writers together) who their favourite style icons were, I would put a lot of money on the keystone image references of …

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6 months ago · 151 likes · 12 comments · Anna Eleri Hart

I was going to start talking about waistcoats, another layer I love in all their forms; knitted, tailored, denim or leather (though one has to be careful not to stray into Status Quo territory) but I fear I may have crossed the boredom threshold of those readers not so interested in clothes so I’ll stop here.

My Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

The Blues Brothers - Sweet Home Chicago

Note; if you have a fancy dress party looming, going as The Blues Brothers is one of the easiest fancy dress costumes to rustle up and so cool, unlike most fancy dress. I wrote about this before here.

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Thanks again,

When I wrote to my unborn children* several years ago now (the children of my imagination as I’d been landed with a body that precluded having any real ones) I lamented the fact that I was a timid traveller and was worried that my unborn children might be frustrated by my reluctance to travel.

I think this is because in our culture, someone who is widely travelled is deemed as being a bit special, virtuous even. The traveller is thought of as open-minded and intellectually curious and that by being exposed to other cultures, they have become enriched and more highly educated. Therefore, when you’re at the opposite end of that spectrum it can make you feel a bit inadequate, lacking somehow, a bit ‘less than’.

So, I was a bit shameful admitting that I was a boring stay at home. I also wrote that I felt it may be connected to age which I think is true. However, anyone fearing ageing might like to heed this, because I find that as you age you become more accepting of yourself, of your foibles and whilst being a timid traveller has been something that I haven’t wanted to openly admit to, now I’m happy to share this feeling and I don’t feel obliged to apologise for it. Besides which, as I said in Dear You: A Letter to my Unborn Children

‘I blame Cornwall for this lack of wanderlust. Since I have lived here my appetite for trips abroad has all but disappeared’

This is still the case, I am fortunate enough to live on The Lizard in Cornwall, an AONB (Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty) living only 5 minutes away from the beautiful Helford River. Even in all this relentless rain I don’t yearn to get on a plane and travel to somewhere warm and sunny. It just does not occur to me.

I am not totally averse to travel, a little trip to say Totnes or Exmoor would be welcome, but I’m not keen on the idea of going anywhere that requires attendance at an airport. This position is in part because presently my caring role precludes any meaningful trip, i.e. a lengthy trip away. I say precludes, it’s one reason, but it’s not the main rationale for my lack of wanderlust, but also worth noting, is that having moved around a fair amount as a child I have never really felt a strong connection to where I live, but having spent the last three decades here in Cornwall I now have that in spades and whenever I do leave the county I am always pleased to get sight of the ‘Nearly Home Trees’ on the journey home.

I have been on fabulous trips. In a past life, when married to a City Banker, expensive holidays abroad were a part of my life, but I wasn’t truly exposed to different cultures. It was merely a change of scene without changing anything in me. Also, if I’m honest, I’d have been just as happy to spend the money on a new bathroom, something I could get pleasure from every day, rather than just two little weeks of my life.

Also bear in mind I lived in London then and at times I had a definite need, most especially during the summer months, to get out of the city. Living where I do now I don’t have that need, surrounded as I am by beauty and fresh air. Add to this the regular reporting of flight delays, strikes, travel companies going bust, or hearing of tourists being sprayed by water pistols, it makes me feel happy with my choices.

As I have got older, I have come to feel differently about the exulted ‘traveller’, who is often more the tourist ticking off destinations. A person who has taken a lot of holidays, gaining stamps in their passports, returning with photographs, stories and souvenirs but largely unchanged by their experience. They haven’t become more empathetic to other cultures or intellectually refreshed. So, I don’t need to feel inferior. What I can draw from this, is that instead of my being labelled narrow-minded and dull possibly, the fact that I am content to stay exactly where I am, is a clear indicator, that for me, it’s a good place to be.

I can enjoy watching people do the travel adventure on my behalf through travel documentaries by those who do it really well. I love to see other parts of the world through the eyes of people I admire. The likes of Michael Palin, Joanna Lumley, Simon Reeve, Sue Perkins, not forgetting to mention the very best, nay legendary guide to the world of nature, David Attenborough.

Books can also take me to places that I would like to see in person. For example, reading Lucy Laucht’s Il Dolce Far Niente, I gained enormous pleasure from looking at the images and reading the prose. I truly felt I’d travelled to the southern coast of Italy. I did learn about elements of the lifestyle there, ‘the sweetness of doing nothing’ approach to life in hot climes. Admittedly I may have paid this particular book greater attention because it was the work of a friend of mine, but I felt I had been immersed in the places, so beautifully photographed and described.

It’s also possibly sheer laziness that stops me venturing anywhere. Lucy’s book did make me feel the need to visit many of the places she’d photographed, but for me organising a trip abroad or let’s be honest to almost anywhere, feels like rather too much effort; but if someone were to take me by the hand and lead me, taking care of all the arranging and organising, I’d be utterly delighted. I’d cheerfully pack my bag and just GO. Unfortunately, I don’t have such a person in my life so I can’t see it happening anytime soon. I am tempted to write about how I feel a twinge of envy when friends of mine go away on trips with their beloved daughters (arranged by them with ease) how it can bring up feelings of grief for not having a daughter of my own, but I won’t go there.

I was going to end by saying ‘Timid travellers of the world unite’ but of course if we’re all timid travellers, we won’t ever be physically united because we‘ll be too apprehensive to make the trip.

My Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

Marvin Gaye - Got to Give it Up

I LOVE this track, so I was particularly delighted to discover this video. I promise you, it will make you smile and feel the need to move your body.

Thanks as ever for reading and if you’ve found yourself smiling and dancing at any point, perhaps you’d give this post a click on the old ❤️ button. I’d be most grateful.

Thank you.

*shameless book plug alert forgive me but I haven’t done one for ages.

Sunday evening, I switched on the TV and found myself joining a classical concert on BBC4 – the first of four Eurovision Classical Concerts. There is something so special about an orchestra (in this episode the BBC Philharmonic); a group of people, admittedly this one is not terribly diverse, but made up of all different ages, sizes and looks, all coming together, linked simply by their musical prowess and that they were all required to wear black. They played Greensleeves which took me back to my piano lessons as a child; it was the first piece I learned to play. I didn’t like it then; thanks to this performance I do now. My favourite part of the concert was Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, so familiar and joy giving.

Just a little aside, I was slightly uncomfortable with the layout of the concert hall, whereby the standing audience were permitted to wander about within, it seemed a little discourteous to the orchestra, but I don’t suppose it bothered them.

Mango Home

A selection from Mango Home landed in my Inbox this week and I am loving their range of vases.

Knitwear

More Inbox temptations that arrived this week. I really should press the unsubscribe button more often. I love the Cos label, such simple, elegant lines and this caught my eye, ok because it’s green I suppose. I do like (and wear) many other colours.

And more green, this time from Toast, it’s quite spendy so I have added it to my ‘Clothes/accessories Stalk List’ which I will write about soon.

A Shout out to Steve Rosenberg

Not exactly joy-giving, what news from Russia could be in these times, but a very interesting look at the working life of Steve Rosenberg, brought to us by BBC’s Panorama Our Man in Moscow aired last week. I’ve always had a soft spot for Steve Rosenberg and was interested to follow a year in his reporting life.

Despite Panorama’s hugely regrettable editing error regarding Donald Trump’s pre–Capitol Hill riots speech, I still trust the BBC as my main news source, alongside a couple of broadsheet (actual paper) newspapers; I am that old. I also just like paper. I read a lot from a screen, mainly from this platform, and sometimes it’s just feels good to hold paper in my hands. I don’t want to read everything from a screen, most especially last thing at night; reading a book in bed is heaven.

I’m not sure we appreciate the work of, I want to say ‘proper’ journalists, anywhere near enough. Steve Rosenberg has lived in Russia for over 25 years and clearly loves the country. In recent times simply doing his job has meant that he is now deemed an enemy of the state. He is always followed and regularly confronted by police; but still, he and his now very small team, consistently pursues the truth for us, as far as this is possible in Russia. I wonder if being such a high profile and recognisable figure might make him safer or perhaps more of a target? I hope the former obviously. I don’t want to dive into a big debate about paying for journalism, but BBC News alone is worth my licence fee right there.

While I was looking for an official BBC Eurovision Classical Concerts trailer (I couldn’t find one) I ended up on Instagram and accidentally stumbled across these two utterly fabulous joy-giving women.

My Kitchen Disco Record of the Week

I intended this to be a regular feature but the only regular thing about it is that I keep forgetting to include it. So apologies to anyone for whom this is their favourite bit of my newsletter.

This week I have chosen a blast from my past from Sounds of Blackness whose uplifting fusion of gospel, R & B and soul music lifted my very soul during a difficult time back in the early nineties..

I found it difficult to choose just one track so as I forgot to do this feature last week I’ve chosen two from the album Africa to America; the journey of the Drum.

‘I’m Going All The Way’ and ‘I Believe’.

Thanks as ever for reading and if you feel inclined to kindly click on the ❤️ button I would be most grateful as it will help my writing become more visible to non-subscribers. Thanks again.

So I’ve been absent on here for rather longer than I anticipated. Have I been busy doing the hunkering down things I talked about in my last post? The de-cluttering and re-setting in a quest to find a pleasing routine. My intention ‘to softly and diligently set about crafting a life that is fulfilling and ‘quietly happy’.’ Have I managed any of that? NO! Not a single step taken in that direction, though I haven’t abandoned the idea of it. I’ve just been diverted.

I started January smugly ‘echinaceaed up’ cheerfully avoiding a rather nasty bout of the common cold that had been circulating our local population since Christmas. I remained symptom free, while my husband snorted and barked his way through several days. Then storm Goretti arrived and so did the virus, my smug smile replaced by a sore red nose, a mountain of soggy tissues and a lingering, rattling cough that would not desist. So I’ve inhabited a world made up of words that make me utterly cringe. I don’t like saying them or writing them down. You know the ones I mean, words like s**t, mu**s and my least favourite ph***m.

Anyhoo, I’m out the other side of it all now and glad to report that by diligently masking up for the care element of my daily round I managed to protect my elderly mother’s vulnerable lungs from anything more than a few sniffles.

Before I move on, I do feel the need to return to the subject of storm Goretti and have a little bleat here. The storm caused appalling damage across the county of Cornwall, and it really did not get the deserved coverage across news media. A loss of water supply in various neighbourhoods in the Southeast soon took over as the ‘crisis de jour’. Whilst miserable for them for a few days, at the same time many residents of Cornwall were still without power, water and internet connection. Then storms Ingrid and Chandra pitched up and caused further damage, resulting in rail connection out of the county being massively disrupted and the dreaded words for any traveller ‘replacement bus’ adding to the burden of Cornish residents. It’s been a bit crap to be honest.

We are used to a bit of rain here in the Southwest, but Lordy, it has been bonkers. I believe we’re on day 39 here of consistent rain. Even on the few days when the sun has made an appearance Mother Nature has seen fit to slot in several sharp showers.

So, the start to 2026 has all been a bit grey. The days are grey and the geopolitical situation is darker still, providing not even a glimpse of any silver linings. So with grey being the theme of this year so far, I thought I’d write about my own transition to grey. The decision to stop colouring my hair and embrace my natural grey/silver locks.

I was born a brunette, and I can’t remember exactly when, but I had for many years been having my hair dyed blonde for the simple reason, that as I had aged my pallor had changed and my ‘natural’ colour no longer suited me. I looked washed out, pale and ridiculous. Even celebrities make this mistake. I remember saying to my colourist that I did not want the Paul McCartney look. He had a terrible phase of dyeing his hair way too dark, it simply did not suit his face. He’s not the only star resisting going grey and it puzzles me, as you’d think they would have numerous stylists (or family surely) telling them NO?!

When I found myself in Macca territory I went lighter, quite blonde in the end, and for sure that helps with the shift to grey. Of course, many don’t find themselves requiring paler hair to match their face. I have a dear friend my age who is pale skinned and is still gorgeously dark haired. It suits her, she doesn’t look ill! Going grey is not for everyone.

So what prompted me to start on the road to embracing my true colour? Firstly, I have curly hair, and curly hair needs moisture, so dyeing my hair alongside the natural ageing of my hair meant it became too dry and it was difficult to stop the curl dropping out. So this started me contemplating a cessation of colouring. Around the same time my beloved hairdresser (who has been cutting my hair for over 25 years) was moving premises. This meant that my normal six-week gap between colour and cut was extended a couple of weeks and thus slightly more grey rootage was becoming visible. Nick, my hairdresser thought that on inspection the natural colour had the potential to look pretty good, with the option that of course if I didn’t like it at any stage, I could always dye it back. To ease the process, he coloured my hair from the roots down with an ashier blonde, so there wasn’t a marked difference from the roots. I am fortunate in that curly, messy hair, is much more forgiving in this process as the roots aren’t so visible. Those with a sleek straight look will obviously have a more prominent root line to contend with.

Jolain Muller, talks of exactly this approach here.

What Looks Good

To Grey or Not To Grey

How does one stop coloring the hair and embrace the gray, while avoiding the indignities of the telltale line as it grows out? This is something I’ve wondered myself.What Looks Good is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber…

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7 months ago · 37 likes · 36 comments · Jolain Muller

It was back in October 2019 when I started on ‘project grey’. We managed a couple of appointments dyeing from the roots down and then of course, the event that prompted many a ‘fade to grey’ transition, lockdown struck and I was on my own. I simply pinned it up during this time watching the dyed ashy bits get further away from the true grey, luckily I also had quite a bit of silver going on so I was happy. When we were finally allowed back into the hands of our hairdressers, I was pretty much there. The condition had improved, resulting in bouncier, shinier curls. I do think it has possibly aged me, in fact I’m sure it has. I don’t much care, it’s easier to look after and my hair is in much better nick now that I don’t dye it.

As with any life event, trivial or huge I buy a book and the one I purchased for this phase of my life was this one Silver Hair - A Handbook by Lorraine Massey. I heartily recommend.

There are many Instagram accounts worth looking at too. I follow Kate Lonsdale, largely as her hair is curly and a similar length to mine. I have said before, people think curly messy hair is a doddle to look after, but it isn’t. There are folk who have made a career exploring the best way to treat curly hair. As Kate says, it’s often about accepting your hair is the rarely the same each wash day.

I hope this has been helpful to anyone on the cusp of saying goodbye to the dye. Thank you for reading and if you liked it in anyway I’d be so grateful for a click on the ❤️ button. It will gladden my actual heart and it will help my writing become more visible to non-subscribers. Thanks again.