The end of a job is what makes room to find a new job, or even an entirely new career.

Becoming a parent starts with the end of childfree independence.

Winter has to end before Spring can begin.

A caterpillar has to stop being a caterpillar before it can become a butterfly.

But what do we do when something has ended and we don't know what comes next? Those are the liminal moments, in-between spaces, the (sometimes messy) middle.

In my own life, I find these moments to be simultaneously so deeply uncomfortable AND exciting. It’s the pause where I can dream about what’s next (or, let’s be real, freak out and feel afraid about what’s coming next).

This past year has given me a couple different opportunities to be in such places.

In June, I stopped teaching my weekly yoga classes at Limber Yoga and Wellness. I've been teaching there for 4 years, pretty much every Saturday morning. This ending was bittersweet because I love teaching yoga, I love the yoga studio community. The people there are such beautiful souls. But for months my body and heart were telling me I needed a break. I needed more space in my week for rest. So I listened to that longing from my heart and body, and stopped teaching, without knowing what comes next. I know I'll return to teaching at some point, because sharing the practice of yoga with others is deeply meaningful to me, but I don't how, when, or where. And I find that to be both uncomfortable and exciting.

I also got divorced last year and my 12 year relationship with my partner came to a close (talk about a huge ending!). I moved out of my house and into a new one. I grieved the end of that relationship, but also connected more deeply with family and friends. And it inspired me to start divorce support groups for other women experiencing this transition. In this transition, I had the opportunity to learn more about myself, my heart, my desires, and using my voice than I ever would have expected. And I’m still asking myself,

What do I want next?

How do I want to spend my time?

Who am I becoming?

Although divorce and taking a break from teaching yoga are vastly different experiences, they've both asked the same thing of me: to let go before I knew what would come next.

Sometimes we rush through this in-between because uncertainty feels unbearable. I get it, believe me. Sometimes the waiting feels almost itchy to me, like I want to crawl out of my skin and take action, any action. And rather than sit in this discomfort, we often choose something, anything rather than sit with not knowing. But that urgency doesn’t always lead us where we truly want to go.

I recently learned that those who are able to stay in the uncomfortable, messy liminal space, who can tolerate that discomfort, and really spend time to understand what they want next, report being happier with the choices they make, the new beginning they choose, compared to those who rush into something new. (Check out this podcast if you want to learn more.)

And because I think about things through an earth-based, seasonal, witchy perspective, I imagine these liminal moments to be like Winter. Every plant that is not evergreen has died. Animals have migrated or hibernated or hunkered down in the cold. It’s dark and quiet.

Living in Seattle, I know how uncomfortable many of us find these cold, rainy months. How we long for sundrenched days. We want the “Big Dark” to end so we can experience Summer again. But there’s beauty in the dark, cold, quiet of Winter. It offers us a time to rest and pause.

Curl up by a fire and read.

Stop and feel the rain and wind on your face.

Take a nap.

Some of the discomfort of these liminal, in-between spaces is that we’ve been told we have to be constantly productive, always growing, improving, moving on, “getting over it.”

That’s bullshit.

This has us exhausted and burnt out. It keeps us from giving ourselves the the time and space to really figure out what we actually want to come next.

Nature never asks winter to look like spring. Winter doesn’t apologize for dormancy. Nothing is “behind schedule.” Winter isn’t failure. It’s part of the cycle. It’s the moment after the exhale and before the inhale. The moment after an ending and before a beginning. Nature reminds me that nothing blooms all year. Every living thing has seasons of rest.

So the question I’ve been asking myself is, how do I support myself here, sitting in the unknown?

I’ve been grieving what ended. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry. Last month, I called a friend and asked her to just be with me on the phone while I cried (may we all have friends, willing to sit with us in our grief without trying to “fix” it). I don’t believe grief is something we “heal” from, we expand to hold it. I picture my heart with stretch marks on it, growing to hold both loss and love.

I’m doing things that bring me joy and spending time in my body. Dancing, attending yoga classes (it’s fun to learn from others!), spending time with friends, wearing clothes that make me feel calm and beautiful, reading books, traveling, trying new things. My body often knows what my mind hasn’t figured out yet. Joy, fun, and pleasure aren’t frivolous in seasons of uncertainty, they’re how I remind myself that life is still good, even while I'm waiting.

I’m spending time in nature. Sometimes I just need to hug a tree. To look at the mountains, stars, and sea and realize I’m just a little part of a much larger whole. To experience awe and gratitude for all the beauty and magnificence around me. I learned recently that this is the “small-self effect.” Experiencing awe at the vastness, power, and beauty of nature right-sizes us and puts our fears in perspective.

And I’m prioritizing community. Human connections. Less AI, more real people. And this is because our relationships are what actually make us resilient. It’s less about some inner grittiness and strength (that myth of the rugged individual is also bullshit), and more about having safe, secure people in our lives whose arms we can fall into when we don’t have the strength to hold ourselves up anymore.

If you’re looking for community like this, I have two opportunities this Fall to connect with other humans:

If you’re looking to explore your creativity, I have an online Healing Through Creativity group starting on September 1st at 7 pm.

If you are going through a divorce, I have an in-person divorce support group for women starting on October 15th at 7:30 pm in West Seattle.

Every major transition in my life has taught me that I can survive uncertainty. I can grieve. I can adapt. I can be held. I can build something beautiful from the breakdown. And I know you can too. Remembering this gives me courage to let this season unfold instead of trying to rush through it.

And if you’d like some one-on-one support, I have therapy spots available. You can learn more about that on my website.

Sending moments of awe, compassion, human connection, and joy to anyone in the messy middle,

Natalie Spangenberg, MA, LMFT, RYT200

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Yoga Teacher, and Messy Human

That WooWoo Therapist

Natalie here — your friendly, woowoo therapist and yoga teacher.

This month, I’ve been thinking about joy and asking myself:

How do I find joy?

What does a joy-filled life actually look like?

How do I find joy in the midst of grief?

And to be honest, these aren’t easy questions to answer. Especially when it feels like the world is on fire or when my own heart is aching or when it feels so much easier to just watch Netflix and numb out.

But here’s what I’ve landed on (for now — because our answers can shift with time) —

Joy invites me to notice the small beauties, to pay attention to the miracle of being alive in a body, and to connect with others in fun and meaningful ways.

And joy is definitely found in flower crowns. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific fact 😉

Joy & Mental Health

I recently came across a study that found reductions in depression for folks who engaged in dance as part of their mental health journey. While I always approach research with curiosity and a bit of skepticism (bias exists everywhere), I love the reminder that joyful movement can be healing.

Of course, what works for one person might not work for another — your invitation is to discover what makes you feel most alive. And you don’t have to figure that out alone.

If you're navigating anxiety, depression, heartbreak, or simply feeling stuck — I have openings for individual therapy. I accept Premera insurance and offer private pay as well.

Let’s explore what healing and joy can look like for you.

Joy & Movement

Inspired by that study? Here’s your invitation: have a dance party.

Whether it’s just you in your living room or a spontaneous gathering with a friend, pick a song that lights you up, and let yourself move — freely, awkwardly, playfully. No performance. No perfection. Just movement.

Give it a try, and afterward, pause.
How do you feel?

What shifted?

What awakened?

And if you’re looking to practice some yoga in community this Summer, where we combine gentle movement and creative expression, check out my Yoga & Creativity class at Limber Yoga:

🎨 Yoga & Creativity
📍 Limber Yoga – West Seattle
🗓️ Sunday, July 13 and August 17 at 5 pm

A playful, heart-centered class to reconnect with your creativity through:

• 30 mins gentle yoga

• 30 mins creative time (bring your sketchbook, journal, knitting, etc.)

• 15 mins small group reflection

Sign up here with your class pack or membership.

The Magic of Simple Joys

Earlier this week, I was walking along the shores of Puget Sound with a friend who has her own special kind of magic — the magic of noticing. She pointed out the geese flying in the clear blue sky, a sea cucumber beneath a rock, a snail with its perfectly spiral-shaped shell. It felt like a sacred kind of attention.

I don’t think we always need candles or crystals or tarot cards to experience magic.

We just need presence. The kind of presence that allows us to pause and notice the world around us and the world inside of us.

Try this:

Go outside. Take a walk or just sit. Look around.

What beauty do you notice?

Can you let yourself be surprised? Delighted? Joyful?

Wishing you gentle moments of aliveness this month. May you find joy — even just a flicker — in the midst of whatever you’re holding.

With love and care,

Natalie

🧘‍♀️💗🌿
Therapist. Yoga Teacher. Joy Seeker.

I’ve been sitting with the question: What do we do when we have a broken heart?

When life pulls the rug out from under us — whether it's the loss of someone we love, the end of a relationship, or a change that shakes our sense of identity — how do we care for ourselves?

Below are three gentle tools to turn toward when your heart feels tender.

Mental Health

I invite you to let connection be the medicine

“Resilience” is a bit of a buzzword these days, but what does it really mean?

True resilience comes from connection. It’s the caring, nurturing relationships that help us get back up after life knocks us down. We heal best in community.

This month, I invite you to check in with the people you love — send a text, hop on a phone call, or meet for a walk.

And if you're feeling lonely or disconnected (which can be its own kind of heartbreak), ask yourself gently: Where might I begin to build community?

Maybe through a hobby, a class, or volunteering — any space where you can begin to build relationships with other people.

Movement

Here’s a simple breath and movement practice to help regulate your nervous system when things feel out of whack.

Try the Humming Bee Breath (Bhramari Pranayama):

• Inhale slowly through the nose.

• Exhale with the lips closed, making a gentle humming sound.

• Notice the vibration of your humming.

You can add gentle movement if you'd like:

• Come to hands and knees in tabletop.

• Inhale into Cow Pose (arch the back, lift the heart).

• Exhale with the humming bee breath as you sink back into Child’s Pose.

Want to see what this looks like? I shared a quick demo on Instagram here. 💛

Additionally, here are three opportunities to practice yoga with me. They’re all gentle, inclusive, and welcoming to all bodies and experience levels. They’re also great ways to build community! :)

🎨 Spring Yoga & Meditation Retreat
📍 Madrona Commons – Madrona
🗓️ Saturday, May 17 at 5 PM

I am delighted to be collaborating with Annie from Wild Maven Wellness to offer an in-person retreat! We’ll alternate yoga, guided visualization, dinner, and drawing to reflect on and embrace our personal stories.

Click here to sign up!

🎨 Yoga & Creativity
📍 Limber Yoga – West Seattle
🗓️ Sunday, May 18 at 5 PM

A playful, heart-centered class to reconnect with your creativity through:

• 30 mins gentle yoga

• 30 mins creative time (bring your sketchbook, journal, knitting, etc.)

• 15 mins small group reflection

Sign up here with your class pack or membership.

🧘‍♀️ Trauma-Informed Yoga Classes
📍 Mettarel Therapy Office – Fremont
🗓️ Wednesdays | 12 PM & 6 PM

A gentle, accessible practice (can be done from a chair) that includes movement, breathwork, and meditation to help manage anxiety, overwhelm, and freeze responses. Perfect for anyone wanting to feel more grounded, present, and connected.

Learn more and sign up here.

Magic

This one’s simple.

Light a candle (safely) and let yourself cry.

Your tears are precious.

They allow sadness to move through us instead of getting stuck.

And crying is great for the nervous system. This is why we can feel better after we cry.

If this practice feels uncomfortable you, you might try setting a timer for a short amount of time. Having boundaries around time can help our nervous systems feel safe and secure, and you might need as much of a sense of safety as possible in order to give yourself the permission to cry.

With love and care,

Natalie

🧘‍♀️💗🌿
Therapist. Yoga Teacher. Human with a tender heart.

Natalie here, your friendly therapist and yoga teacher, and this month (or moon-th 🌕) I’ve been reflecting on pleasure — how often do we truly give ourselves permission just to notice what feels good to us? And with the Spring Equinox approaching, it’s the perfect time for a simple ritual to embrace balance, renewal, and playfulness. 🌿✨

Mental Health

Lately, I’ve been pondering something from the book Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown. At the start of the book, the author offers this simple but powerful intention:

"Notice what makes you feel good and what you are curious about."

I realized I don’t always focus on what feels good — noticing joy, play, and pleasure in everyday moments. How about you? How often do you pay attention to what makes you feel good?

Something to reflect on: How can I incorporate more playfulness, fun, and pleasure into my life?

Movement

One of my favorite ways to release tension is a movement called Knocking on Heaven’s Door (also known as Three Swings in Qigong).

It’s a simple, grounding motion that helps shake off stress and release tension. I find it to be super supportive for the nervous system. Plus, it just feels good to me! Check out my Instagram post to see how to do it.

If you’re looking for a little more, this 7-minute Yoga with Adriene Yoga for Stress Relief YouTube video also includes Knocking on Heaven’s Door — it’s a quick, gentle practice to help you release and reset.

Magic

On Thursday, March 20th, we celebrate the Spring Equinox — a time of balance, new beginnings, and rebirth. As day and night stand in equal light and dark, the earth in the Northern Hemisphere begins to warm and buds start to bloom.

A simple ritual to try is to pick or buy flowers and journal about what’s warming and blossoming in your life right now. You could try finishing these sentences:

✨ I’m ready to allow myself to…

✨ My body is yearning for…

Let this be a season of renewal, joy, and playfulness. Wishing you balance, ease, and moments of delight this moon-th 🌕

Here’s to feeling good,

Natalie

I’m a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Associate and a yoga teacher. If you're craving more balance, self-trust, and ease in your life, I’d love to support you.

In our one-on-one work, we explore what’s holding you back and gently uncover the patterns keeping you stuck.

Through mindfulness, movement, creative expression, and deep inner work, I help you reconnect with yourself, honor your needs, and embrace self-compassion.

You don’t have to do it alone—I’m here to walk alongside you.

Curious to learn more?

Check out my website.

I am over society’s obsession with constant productivity and self-improvement. This relentless hustle culture we live in is never as obvious and off-putting to me as it is at this time of year. The pressure to come up with goals for a new calendar year and the idea of “New Year, New You” feels exhausting.

Rejecting Hustle Culture and Embracing the Wisdom of Winter

New Year’s resolutions also feel counter to what this season of winter invites us to experience — stillness, rest, and reflection. Here in Seattle, where the sun seems to set at 3:30 pm (it doesn’t actually, but damn, does daylight feel scarce), it’s dark and cold. Plants have died back, animals hibernate, and the Earth itself seems to pause and rest. Nothing about the natural rhythm of winter tells me to push harder, achieve more, or grind my way to the “next level.” And yet, it feels like society is screaming at me to set resolutions, to strive, and to hustle.

I’ve been wrestling with this pressure to improve versus the permission to be gentle with myself — to go slow and rest. If I’m honest, I want to hibernate like a bear. I want to curl up in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket, reading a book, sipping hot cocoa, and napping. I want to love myself deeply, exactly as I am — not guilt myself into some “better” version of me.

The Inner Critic’s Role in New Year’s Resolutions

I feel suspicious of New Year’s resolutions. I think they might just be our inner self-critics disguised as self-improvement. As a therapist friend recently reminded me, anything can be a defense mechanism. And that’s exactly what constant self-improvement and most New Year’s Resolutions feel like to me: a defense mechanism. A way of saying, “I’m not good enough as I am.” A way of avoiding the hard but necessary work of sitting with and accepting ourselves as we are—messy, imperfect, and human.

And while I have a lot of love for my inner critic (she just wants to make sure I achieve my dreams, but her methods often leave something to be desired), I also don’t want her to run the show. So I think it’s important for us all to look at any goals, resolutions, intentions, etc., that we’re setting for the calendar year and ask:

• Is this rooted in self-love or in not-enoughness and insecurity?

• Does this feel self-accepting or self-critical?

• Does it come from a place of love or of fear?

• Do I think that if I achieve XYZ, I’ll be more worthy of love?

Things To Do Instead of New Year’s Resolutions

Because I think it’s important to practice holding multiple truths at the same time, I also want to acknowledge the desire to mark the change of a new calendar year in some way. I am aware of the urge to use this notable societal, calendar marker as the start of something new and fresh. So here are two things I’m considering:

1. Focus on Desire, Not Insecurity

Recently, at a Women Entrepreneurs Networking event, I heard something that shifted my perspective on goal-setting: “Don’t set goals from your fears and insecurities. Instead, set goals from your desire and yearning.”

We could apply this to New Year’s resolutions. For example, instead of setting a resolution like “In 2025, I will lose 20 pounds,” you might reframe it to something like, “In 2025, I will discover joy in and through my body.”

Goals rooted in desire feel expansive and nurturing, not punitive. They invite curiosity, pleasure, and self-compassion into the process.

Let’s all ask ourselves: What do you truly desire? What are you yearning for?

2. Pick a Theme Word for the Year

At a Women’s Circle I regularly attend here in Seattle, we talked about setting a word for the year — a guiding theme rather than a rigid resolution.

I’ve decided that my word for 2025 is cocoon. I picked this word because I spent the last year trying to be a butterfly when, in reality, I think I was still in a caterpillar stage.

I’ve realized it’s silly to insist that I should be a butterfly when that’s just not the stage I’m in. I learned recently that when caterpillars form a chrysalis, there’s a stage where they completely liquefy — they’re essentially bug goo — before they continue their metamorphosis into a butterfly.

I think that’s the current stage I’m in: liquid caterpillar, bug goo held in my cocoon. At first, that seems gross and unsatisfying — who wants to be bug goo instead of a butterfly? But we wouldn’t have any butterflies without the bug goo.

When I accept that this is the messy stage I’m in, I feel relaxed, and my whole body softens.

Turning Towards Ourselves with Compassion

In my work with perfectionistic, anxious women, I’ve seen how self-improvement often masks deeper insecurities. We’re so busy striving to fix or change ourselves that we miss the opportunity to simply love and accept who we are right now.

What if we stopped using goals as a way to run from the parts of ourselves we feel insecure about, and instead, turned toward them with compassion? What if we loved the messy, unfinished, imperfect parts of ourselves?

As we move into 2025, I invite you to pause. To rest. To reflect on what you truly desire, not what society tells you you should achieve. Embrace the cocoon stage. Embrace the bug goo. Give yourself permission to hibernate and to be held by the rhythms of winter.

You are enough, exactly as you are. You are held, supported, and deeply worthy of love.

Lastly, and as always, if you are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, stress or trauma, professional help can be invaluable and I’m here to support you. My practice is based in Seattle and serves women in the state of Washington, with specialties in anxiety & perfectionism and sexuality & pleasure. I’d love to hear from you.

Here’s to a year of resting, surrendering, and softening into self-compassion,

Natalie

https://www.insightcounselingcollective.com/

Now, as a therapist working primarily with professional, millennial women dealing with anxiety and as a yoga teacher, I’m passionate about finding tools and practices that not only help me but can also support others in processing their feelings of anxiety.

When I think about anxiety, I don’t just think about what’s going on in the mind. I think of the body and how our nervous system picks up on something scary, instantly mobilizing our body into fight-or-flight mode, even before our prefrontal cortex is fully aware of what’s happening. This is why considering the body when we think about ways to cope with anxiety is essential. When we tap into movement practices that provide emotional and physical release, we can soothe the nervous system and find relief, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes our nervous systems are stuck in a sympathetic state (fight-or-flight) and our bodies are holding onto that anxiety, and we don’t want to leave ourselves spinning there. Completing the stress cycle is crucial — guiding ourselves from anxiety back to a sense of safety and ease. Movement can be such a helpful way to complete the stress cycle and help our bodies feel like it’s in a safe place again.

When big emotions like anxiety arise, there’s often a desire to squash or bury them. But what if, instead, we allowed big emotions to flow through us, crest like a wave, and then recede? Blocking these waves is often where suffering begins, but allowing these emotions to move through us opens up space for a different kind of release — a healthy, supportive one.

Anxiety isn’t just a thought or a feeling. It’s a full-body experience. In my personal experience, anxiety shows up as sensations in my body and as thoughts in my mind — often imagining worst-case scenarios. Sometimes the thoughts come first, sometimes the physical sensations, but they quickly feed off each other, reinforcing each other in a powerful loop.

This summer, I was on a flight where my anxiety showed up in full force. Airplanes tend to be a place where my anxiety loves to make itself known, so I used all the tools I know of to soothe myself. But my heart continued to pound, my mind imagined every terrifying “what if,” and the loop between bodily sensations and thoughts intensified. This experience reminded me that anxiety isn’t solely a mental process; it’s a combination of experiences in the body and in our minds.

And while we often talk about a “body-mind connection,” I’m not sure I love that phrase — it implies a separation of mind and body when, in reality, the two are deeply intertwined. The brain itself is a bodily organ, continuously sending signals to and receiving signals from the rest of the body. As a holistic therapist, I believe that all our experiences, relationships, communities, and even social structures are interconnected. That said, it can still be helpful to address the body directly in the process of moving through anxiety. So let’s dive into some types of movement that support emotional release and help the nervous system return to a place of ease.

Yoga Poses to Soothe Anxiety

Yoga offers some beautiful practices that help calm both the mind and body. One of my all-time favorite yoga poses for anxiety relief is called “legs up the wall,” or Viparita Karani in Sanskrit. As the name suggests, you lie on your back next to a wall and prop your legs up against it. Sometimes I add a pillow or bolster beneath my hips and a folded blanket under my head to add an even juicier sense of softening and relaxing. This simple pose has a grounding effect, soothing the nervous system and encouraging relaxation.

Check out this video from Yoga with Adriene for instruction on how to do the “legs up the wall” yoga pose.

Another supportive movement is called “knocking at heaven’s door.” To do this one, spread your feet wide, soften the knees, and let your arms sway from side to side. This gentle movement allows for a calming rhythm, letting the nervous system relax with each sway. The twist through the spine also works wonders for releasing anything that no longer serves you. When I practice twisting, I imagine wringing out a rag, letting go of anything I no longer want to hold on to. With each twist, I envision letting go of tension, leaving space for a sense of calm.

Watch this video from Janice Tucker for instruction on how to do “knocking at heaven’s door.” Note: She keeps her feet closer together, whereas I like to take a really wide stance.

For both of these movement practices, tuning into the breath (just bring your attention to each of your inhalations and exhalations) and allowing any emotions to surface can create a fuller release and deeper sense of relaxation.

Dancing for Anxiety Relief

For me, dancing is a powerful way to release anxious energy and reconnect with my body. I love putting on a song I can’t help but move to — right now, it’s “Lil Boo Thang” by Paul Russell. Dancing for anxiety relief isn’t about looking cool or following a specific choreography. Instead, it’s about letting go and moving in a way that feels freeing and supportive. Ecstatic Dance principles can be helpful for this. They encourage us to be present, move freely, and release ourselves to the rhythm.

If you’re reading this, and are like, “Yeah yeah, but what do I do?” here are some ideas:

• I enjoy big hip circles: planting my feet apart, I move my hips in a circular motion, releasing tension as I go.

• I’ll shake, shimmy, or sway — just let everything jiggle!

• You can close your eyes and focus solely on how it feels to move your body.

• You can stomp your feet to the beat or jump up and down.

• Really, I will move my body in any way that helps me feel grounded and fully present in my body.

Dance is liberating and energizing, and can help release physical tension and shake off the weight of worry. Sometimes we just have to give ourselves permission to move and not be concerned with doing it “right.”

Closing Thoughts

Combining movement with mindfulness (mindfulness is just being present with your experience) is so beneficial for processing anxiety holistically. It’s a reminder that relief can come through freedom of expression and gentle reconnection with the body. I encourage you to explore these practices, listen to your body, and find what feels best for you. And remember, these tools are here to support you — not to fix everything all at once, but to offer moments of grounding and connection. You may discover that your body already knows how to release what it’s been holding, and by moving in ways that feel supportive, you can invite yourself back to a state of peace and ease.

Lastly, and as always, if you are struggling with symptoms of anxiety, stress or trauma, professional help can be invaluable and I’m here to support you. My practice is based in Seattle and serves women in the state of Washington, with specialties in anxiety & perfectionism and sexuality & pleasure. I’d love to hear from you.

Wishing you peace and release,

Natalie

https://www.insightcounselingcollective.com/

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