**

Enjoy…this vid, this poem, your day 💜 The rain may be ever present, but so is the sunshine, so are the umbrellas. xoxo! ☂️

The geese that fly in a V
Do not fly for me
Nor for themselves
Nor thee
The V
A prayer you see
A rosary
A plea
The foam that rolls along the
Sea
The branches stretching from the
Tree
The dog that scratches at the
Flea
Parts of a whole
Free
Father, geese and
Trinity
Mystery
Holy flying feathered arrow
Robin, goose, and dappled sparrow
1 in you
2 in three
We
Us
We
Eternal flight
Eternity

Candy on
Halloween
And the night is young
And the treats are sweet
And the moon is fun

Candy on
Halloween
And the night is old
And the gums all rotting
And the moon all full of mold

Candy on Halloween
The sweetness doesn’t last
And your present howls higher
And your past is raging fast

Candy on Halloween
A knock at the door
A rapping at the gate
And do you dare to open?
And gaze upon your fate?

Candy on Halloween
Munch munch munch
It’s all a bunch of sugar
A lunch you never bargained for
A dessert that never comes
A waiting by the window
A gnashing of the gums
A whistling in the dark
A turn to look behind
A never saw it coming
A lost without the find

Candy on Halloween
Kisses, peace, bye-bye
The bucket’s nearly empty now
Big sigh
Lights out
Even in your sleep
You still hear the voices shout

Candy on Halloween

From the field
to the farm
With the cat
down the lane
O’er the hill
And the meadow
Towards the man
With the cane
And the moon keeps meeting you
And ye keep meeting he
And yet still it isn’t light enough
And still ye wait to see

Poached eggs. Is there anything better or simpler? ⏲️💧🥚 It just feels right somehow…

Here is fall—and here!
The old woman muttering in the corner
The shadows dancing on the wall

Why say dance if what they do is haunt
The reflections of a life not lived best, utmost
The greyest ghost, booing

“Whooooo? Whooooo?”

Lean in—the woman is cackling to herself
At you? With you
Now that the cobwebs have nowhere to wind
Now that the snake walks itself
It is getting late—the light is a pumpkin, charred and ready to eat
Your eyes dart for a clock, anything to count

One laugh, two. The sound of reptile skin thumps the floor. Something brushes your face..

Inside stinks of the past. But you can’t go out, not without a jacket. And yet you find yourself more naked than when you were born.

This is the plum torte (not pepperoni pizza) via longtime food writer and reporter Marian Burros who died September 20 at 92. This recipe is one of the New York Times most popular in the history of the paper and was reprinted every September from 1983-1989.

It’s funny to me that neither the New York Times nor Marian Burros could understand why readers would want this recipe reprinted each year. It seems obvious. The seasons change and there are things that come with them: leaves, apples. Rain, heat. Snow, skates. Plum torte, panache.

What annual recipes do you look forward to making? I have religiously made this recipe from my friend Kate/Kane every January 1st now for the past eight years or so. Because black eyed peas are supposed to be good luck in the new year. And because it’s delicious.

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Words v pop

Later v now

Type type type

Post post post

So much vid

So little words

But little words

Can also bee nice

Like: the green grass.

The hot yellow sun.

She sat in the green grass under the hot yellow sun. She wished to stay there.

What was keeping her from staying?

**

A year or so ago, I ordered a pink envelope for organizing receipts. It came from Japan. I had the choice—to order something nice from an artist off Etsy vs ordering basically the same item off Amazon for cheaper. In that case, I chose the artist.

In the mail, came a treasure trove of items. Tiny plastic colored dolls. Whimsical tattoos. A beautiful and touching handwritten note.

There are many nice things in the note from a stranger. One that sticks out is:

“As the year unfolds so we may face new challenges, but please NEVER GIVE UP on the dreams you are pursuing.”

But just as nice as that is the address to “Dearest Chloe” or the sign-off “Cheering for you.”
**
In this episode, I’m partly playing a hippo “musical instrument” that I made from a box of mac and cheese.

Does my cardboard hippo really make music? Is that what music is?

Is music for children different than music for adults? What do they hear that we can’t?

The music in this episode comes from this very inspiring and awesome Substack via visual artist Erik Winkowski. , friend and creator of Somebody Might Enjoy This, recently alerted me to Winkowski’s Substack and it is just a total delight, a feast for the visual and audial senses.

How can one not want to pick this up and play with it? (As much as one can pick up and play with something that only exists online..) So that’s what I did 🎶

This video features magnetic poetry bought in January at Illinois’ Morton Arboretum…which, sidebar: who remembers magnetic poetry? I find it…v fun and inspiring and all kinds of weird and interesting. This video also importantly features a hummingbird charm from Ellyn F., and much less importantly features cherry tomatoes from Jewel-Osco.

About me: I like to make audio / videos / GIFs about: people I care about; tiny things; nature things; and alive things. If you’re new here, hi! If you’re old here, hi! HI <3 👋🏼

The ALIVE hour has been about a lot of things so far, but one of them that I come back to over and over is this idea of getting quiet enough to allow the very quiet things deep within yourself to come up. And then taking the time to listen to those things, give them space, nourish them like little tiny seedlings who are just starting to reach towards the light.

Often I find this process:

• Surprising

• Moving

• Kinda scary

• Profound

It’s something about the hearing. I feel like I “hear” when writing, too, but it’s different somehow. Listening to the audible sounds of what comes up ends up being cathartic, even more so than writing, for me.

This time of year lends itself to beginnings and endings. Something about the cold, especially living here in Illinois. Everything all holed up. The inherent quiet. The waiting.

This is the last episode of Season 3. I’ll be taking a break to enjoy the winter, back with more in spring. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, ditto all the rest. Keep a bright light going in the dark times. And as always, thank you for listening. ⭐️🎄

(And here are some festive drawings from members of the magic club! Ho ho ho! Enjoy!)

**
Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing + music: Chloe Riley
Music excerpt: The Decemberists, A Beginning Song

How
And who
And where and
Why
On the earth and
In the sky
Holding hands and heaving
Sigh

It’s life It’s life
It’s man it’s wife
It’s butter sliced through
With a knife

It’s life alive
It’s one two three
It’s up and down and
You and me

Read more

Is death funny?

Maybe parts of it?

It’s like:

So terrifying, you fall over laughing?

So terrified of falling over forever, you laugh?

Pee your pants funny?

Big drawn out joke at the wake funny?

Ha.

Ha, ha.

HA!

Or maybe more like:

What else can you do?

Finding yourself at a loss — laughing.

A fun mailed thing is about to go out! Become a paid subscriber to get your special print edition of The ALIVE hour delivered this Christmas. Ho ho ho!
🎄💌💨

**
Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing + music: Chloe Riley
Excerpt from “Brutality of Fact” by Keith Reddin
Featuring David Odell Harmon

Dreams.

Why are they

So interesting to us and

So totally boring to everyone else?

Are they not lived experiences?

Or is it more like finger painting

On the inside of your brain?

I don’t know.

But

I like them

And I like thinking about them and talking about them.

They often feel like…

Friends.

This ☝️, via “The Medium is the Massage,” a very smart, bizarre book about how media and technology are warping us all. (And written in 1967!) I also just ordered “Cheap Copies! The Obsolete Press Guide to DIY Hectography, Mimeography & Spirit Duplication,” which is coming to me in the mail via the great people at Half Letter Press soon.

Print, print, print. What does that look like in almost-2023? What is valuable to you? I hang on to postcards sent by friends, cool handmade cards, art projects I made in fifth grade. I definitively do not hang on to all of the bank statements and medical bills I still get mailed to me, despite repeatedly making known my desire for “paperless.”
*Le sigh*

Speaking of print: I’ll be sending out a round of Christmas printed goodies to subscribers in the coming weeks. If you’d like to get in on that action, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Or consider giving someone else a gift subscription. Tis the season! 🎶✨

**

Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing + music: Chloe Riley

The last.
It’s not possible right?
The first, the last.
Like, I’m the first
My sister’s last

Like that?

No, no, no
Like: the world’s exploding
Fire and fire and fire
And rock, rock, rock
And scissors somewhere too

Read more

My friend and I got to go to Disneyland together recently, and it was probably the most fun I’ve had in years.

It was that feeling: when you somehow land the gift of this thing you had no idea you needed. Sheer, rip-roaring, all-day fun. The kind of fun that you sip on long after the day has passed.

I think the other joy, outside of riding the coasters and licking up the pineapple whips, was the privilege of being with a friend for a full day, just the two of us. Making discoveries together, being in each other’s rhythms. And screaming at the top of our lungs, over and over again, at the electricity of the unknown.

It was, needless to say, a very good day.

A chanced-upon sand smiley face. My friend added the hair.

Girl what kind of magic?

The boxed kind? You buy online?

That’s not a trick, just reality

Life is magic, they say that
One big ball o sparkle
One big hatted rabbit

Pulling us out, up, around
Smoke, mirrors

Gets to be too foggy

You get lost in that room

Read more

What does it mean
To miss a connection?

Was it always there and you just didn’t see it?

Is it a fantasy? An invention? A one-way street?

Or is it something more than that.

A hope. A wish. A vision of life that turns out magically.

A new world where you’re holding hands, strolling the streets. Waiting for what life will throw at you. Together.

**

Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing: Chloe Riley

These small moments.

Like pressing your face up against the glass: you can see them, but you have to look hard, have to make the room to see them, have to fog up the mirror and breathe them into life.

One small moment for me: Walking through the square in my town and seeing the bulbs being planted. Like staring next spring straight in the face.

What are…

Your small moments?

Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing: Chloe Riley

It’s a queer thing
When you start to write
And the voices swoop in
And try as you might

Read more

Hi, welcome back. 👋 Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. 🎶

I’ve been noticing in myself, in creating a new season, that there’s an idea about how it “should” go. About how it went in the past, how it it’s supposed to be now, how it can be in the future.

I don’t have as much time to spend on it. On the newsletter, on episodes. I keep asking myself: “Is that bad? Good?” Different. It feels different.

And it also feels new.

“Is this the learning?”

Illustration: Shannon Colón
Audio mixing + music: Chloe Riley