The Art of Being Necessary is not about making yourself necessary at your expense. It’s about making yourself necessary to your benefit. By being necessary to others, you become an asset that they don’t want to lose because they recognize your value. By being necessary to yourself, you take better care of yourself because you recognize your value. When you are necessary to your workplace, they may do more to keep you around because they recognize how valuable you are. When you are necessary to people in your life, they may do more to keep you around because they recognize how valuable you are. But pay attention to the workplaces that see how necessary you are, see your value, and overload you with work without financial compensation or any true, tangible benefit. It isn’t because they don’t see how essential you are; they just want more without giving you more. Pay attention to the people in your life who need you more than they love you; the ones who see you as an asset more than they see you as a person. Obviously I’m not talking about your minor children. I’m talking about the people you talk to, spend time with, sleep with, hang out with, go on trips with and call a friend, partner or family. You should be needed by your loved ones, but not to your detriment and not at your expense. You should mutually benefit from the relationship. You should mutually benefit from the job you work and from the people you spend time with. It’s necessary.

Speaking of being necessary…

NECESSARY ROUGHNESS is coming August 10, 2027 and I am so excited!!

After I wrote my first series back in 2013, I knew I wanted the book that came after that to be completely different—and it was. I’ve always created in that way. I never want to be put in a box so I knew I wanted the book that came after the Curve series to be markedly different. And it started that way when the characters appeared to me in a way they never had before— lowkey HATING each other.

That’s something new.

I’m not an enemies to lovers kinda gal (to write) because in real life, you gotta be nice to me. But no matter how I tried to convince these characters to like each other, they just didn’t so I wrote them as they presented.

Necessary Roughness (Book 1 in the Maryland Monarchs series) highlights the not-so-glamourous side of professional football and what it means to give your all to your job. Unlike the Curve series, it’s not a romcom.

Necessary Roughness is about two people forced into a situation that ultimately forces them to get to know each other and each other’s circumstances better.

✨enemies-to-lovers

✨dual point-of-view

✨slow burn

✨sports romance

✨workplace romance

I love how different Necessary Roughness is from the Curve series. It highlights that you can love something and still be critical of it and question it.

For me, enemies-to-lovers is complicated because the reasons they are enemies has to make sense (to me) so the way they get to the lovers part also has to make sense and that takes time.

I love Nova Thomas and Jayson Channing’s journey because of how their situation evolves… because information is key and perspective is everything.

If the Curve series is Girlfriends, the Maryland Monarchs series is The Game.

And I loved both.

Please preorder: Necessary Roughness (Maryland Monarchs Book 1: Regular Season)

Also: LOOK AT THIS COVER! I love this so much!!

There is a FREE Read Now sneak peek of the prologue on NetGalley if you want a little taste!

Please note: If you have any issues accessing it, I don’t know anything about NetGalley so I will not be any help, my apologies!

Fat isn’t a bad word. It isn’t even a negative word. In reference to bodies, it’s a descriptor. But there are some descriptors that are said with an energy or a tone that you automatically can feel the harm or disdain they are intending. Fat is one of those words.

When someone says fat, we are programmed to associate that with negative connotations. Authors who write fat characters finding love celebrates the beauty, the humanity, the confidence and the love that exists within big bodied individuals are doing our part to deprogram and reframe the narrative.

This summer I’ve seen more people embracing themselves and I love that. There is no reason why you shouldn’t love yourself right now. If you want to change something about yourself, you can still love yourself right now as you make changes. Your worth and value doesn’t begin or end at a certain weight. But do not let “fat” stop you from wearing what you want to wear, wearing what looks good on you, wearing what makes you feel good. Do not let fat keep you covered up in 90 degree weather. Do not let fat keep you from the pool, from the beach, from traveling, from taking pictures. Do not let fat keep you from living life to the fullest right now. Because fat doesn’t mean unhealthy, unattractive, unloveable, unproductive, unsuccessful or uncivilized. And THAT makes some people uncomfortable. 

Fat, in and of itself, isn’t bad. Society’s treatment of fat is what skews it negatively. And someone else’s discomfort with fat bodies is not our problem to solve. It’s theirs. So do not take on that burden—free yourself. Free yourself by loving yourself right here and right now.

Speaking of the Curve series, have you entered to win a chance to go to an NFL game with me?

From The Sidelines - A Game Day Experience with Danielle Allen 🖤🏈 Come celebrate Big Girl Blitz and the end of the Curve series by sitting in the stands and rooting for the Monarchs like Jazz, Aaliyah and Nina! Doesn’t matter if you know a lot about football (like Jazz) or know a little (like Nina) or you’re just there for vibes (like Aaliyah), a good time will be had! Where will you be on November 1st? Meet us in Landover Maryland! It’s giving Love and Football 🥰🖤🏈

https://www.blackgirlswhowrite.com/from-the-sidelines

There are people who just met me in the last couple of years when I released the Curve series, my first traditional series (Curvy Girl Summer, Plus Size Player, & Big Girl Blitz). But next month, I will be celebrating 13 years of being a published author. One of the main things that has gotten me to this point is consistency. I have been writing consistently for 13 years. Another thing that has gotten me to this point is having real friendships, consistent friendships with other authors in the industry. I have author friends that I have been close to for over a decade! (Time if flying!) And even though I don’t see these people regularly and we don’t talk everyday (only one of them I talk to every day), we are consistent in how we show up in our relationships (emotionally, supportively). We have seen each other at different phases of our lives and different points in our careers. But our relationships are (physically) inconsistent.

But there’s no acting weird, no moving funny, no jealousy, no hate… just love. And I am so blessed to have my relationships with authors and other people in the industry regardless of the length of time. Because I recognize the blessing that it is, I pour love, move from a genuine place and stay consistent.

The love I show in the beginning only grows, it never decreases. And consistency is a big part of the reason.

Being consistent is important but being consistent and intentional communicates value.

In work.

In relationships.

In life.

There is something special about consistency in the way it shows up and in the way you show up in it. It’s unique in the way that it ebbs and flows, but by definition, it is steady, unchanging, and free from unpredictable variations. Which is why the intentionality piece is key.

I need consistency because so much about my work is inconsistent. I need (emotional) consistency (how you treat me) in relationships because physical consistency (how often we see each other) can be inconsistent. I need consistency in how I live my life because life in general is inconsistent.

Consistency (FOR ME) doesn’t look like the same thing all the time, everyday, all day. It doesn’t even look like the same thing from job to job, person to person, experience to experience.

In my work, consistency means writing at least five days a week— some days that amounts to 500 words and sometimes it amounts to 5000 words (that’s a rarer occasion! I typically fall somewhere in the middle). But the consistent part is that I’m writing. And as long as the effort and intentionality are there, the writing output (whatever it is) is valuable.

In relationships, it depends on the person and the relationship. But with the people I’m closest to, I’m in contact with them almost daily. It looks different depending on how hectic life is, but we don’t go more than 48 hours (most of the time it’s 24 hours) without a text, a voice note, a TikTok/Reel exchange, or when the stars align just right, a phone call. Those relationships are prioritized because of our closeness and we make a point to connect. That consistency is how we know when something is wrong, when we need each other, when we celebrate each other, etc. We are consistent in how active we are in each other’s lives. (It is not lost on me how special that is and how there are a lot of people who do not have relationships like that so I do not take it for granted). With everyone else, the contact is a lot more spaced out but it’s consistent in its infrequency. Our dynamic allows us to connect intentionally (at different levels of depth, over different periods of time) in a way that works for those relationships. And all of my relationships are valuable.

And in my life, consistency looks like showing up for myself, in my needs, in my wants, in my relationship with God. HOW that looks can vary— as long as I’m consistent in the behavior and I’m intentional about what I’m doing. I set my boundaries and my goals and then I work consistently and intentionally toward them. I take stock of what I need to feel whole, to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel respected, to feel cared for, to feel comfortable financially, to feel connected spiritually, etc. Once I am aware of my needs, I work consistently and intentionally to meet those needs. I talk to God every day about where I am and where I want to be but more importantly, who He called me to be and what purpose He put on my life. I am consistent and intentional about my conversations with God because I want to stay on track and hone in on His voice.

Consistency in every area of life is directly tied to intentionality. You can be consistent with something and show up every day. But if you aren’t intentional in the way that you show up, your consistency is just…there. It’s the difference between someone hitting you up with a WYD text message every other day (with no further conversation) and someone calling or texting you every other day to have thoughtful conversations. Both forms of communication shows consistency, but only one shows intentionality.

Be consistent and intentional.

So as we start the second half of the year, let me ask you a few questions: in what areas of your life, your relationships, your work are you showing consistency? Inconsistency? Why?

XOXO

Danielle

Resilience is the ability to adapt under stress, overcome trauma, bounce back from adversity, fight for growth.

Resilience sometimes looks like taking a mental health day, getting a massage and reading a good book to decompress because of stress.

Resilience sometimes looks like going to therapy and actively working through the trauma that was inflicted upon you.

Resilience sometimes looks like letting go of the idea of someone and allowing them to be exactly who they are—without you.

Resilience sometimes looks like growing through what you’re going through by taking the loss as a lesson, learning from it, and approaching the situation differently next time.

Resilience can require you to do something new or it can require you to do something consistently. But resilience requires you to do something: adapt, overcome, recover, grow.

Stop.

Resilience is also knowing when to stop.

You have to know when to stop. Ask yourself if it’s worth the fight. If it is, you fight. You keep going. You find a new way. You do the work. If you feel it in your heart, your soul, your bones that you’re on the right path, you fight. But if you don’t… you stop.

You stop.

Because fighting for yourself also looks like letting things go.

Being resilient also looks like letting things go.

*********************************************************

Will I see you at the Well Read and Fed event in Richmond, VA on June 12, 2026?

Will I see you at Wine with Writers in Baltimore, MD June 26, 2026 - June 28, 2026?

Will I see you at ESS in New York July 10, 2026 - July 11, 2026?

Will I see you for Shirlene Obuobi’s release event at the Ripped Bodice on July 14th in New York or Tati Richardson’s release event at Resist Booksellers on July 18th in Petersburg, VA?

Will I see you at Southern Hearts in Columbia, SC October 9, 2026 - October 11, 2026?

I hope so!

After the aforementioned events, I will be taking a break from in person and virtual appearances for a few months. If I haven’t already confirmed and committed to it, it is unlikely I will be participating in 2026. I have been traveling a lot, saying yes to a lot, and as much fun as I’ve been having since February, I have words to write, goals to reach and relationships to nurture. So as I pour this time back into my work, myself, and my loved ones, prepare for some announcements coming soon!

Speaking of announcements…

This summer, we are bringing some fellas into the confessional! That’s right... romance minded men are going to give us some Curvy Girl Confessions for Season 3: Summer Session!

As always, the episodes are FREE and available to all subscribers on the weekend it airs! Tune in! (Paid subscribers can watch all episodes from all seasons on demand.)

Next episode will drop soon, subscribe to learn more!

I asked some of the people with whom I’ve been close with in 2026 to send me a couple of songs that made them think of me. I compiled their answers and made a playlist. When I listen to it, it makes me smile and fills my heart with joy. It allows me to see myself through the lens of people I absolutely adore. The selections range from songs from the past that they know I love(d) to songs that had lyrics they felt embodied me. From best friends to a former love, the people who provided the songs came from a different perspective of knowing me and their choices mean different things to me for different reasons. The people who participated didn’t know what I was doing or why I asked, they just sent the songs because I asked. And it made me feel simultaneously seen and understood.

And there is so much beauty in being seen and understood.

I asked some of the people with whom I’m closest with how they’d describe our relationship and I literally cried at their responses. Well, except for one (he didn’t understand the question apparently). But everyone else brought me to tears. The amount of love that came from their responses touched me so deeply. And again, I didn’t explain why I was asking and they responded with love letters.

The people in my life affirmed me and our relationship with music and with words.

To affirm someone is to offer emotional support or encouragement.

So I would encourage you to ask the people closest to you to name a couple of songs that make them think of you. Find out why they selected those particular songs. And then listen to those songs again with a new frame of reference. I would encourage you to ask the people closest to you to describe your relationship with them or ask them if they would write down or tell you how they feel about you.

Let the people in your life affirm you and the relationship you share relationship. If nothing else, it’ll give you a clearer picture of how they see you, how they see the relationship, and how you need to proceed. But I encouraged you to do that exercise first because people tend to have an easier time affirming and being affirmed by others than they do affirming themselves. Too often people will praise, encourage, support, uplift, and root for others in ways that they do not, have not, or cannot do for themselves. Sometimes people need to feel the love, hear the love, see the love from other people before they can sense it for themselves.

How you speak to yourself, about yourself is critical to your overall wellbeing. The way you talk to yourself is powerful. If you want to affirm yourself, you have to communicate love, support, encouragement, trust, confidence, and faith to yourself through your words, actions, and choices. There’s power in your words because they turn into your thoughts which then turn into your beliefs.

Self-fulfilling prophecy is real.

No matter how confident you seem or how much bravado you have, when it boils down to it, what you tell yourself about yourself is how you feel about yourself.

So, make sure you’re affirming yourself. Make sure you’re speaking love and life into yourself. Make sure you’re encouraging yourself and loving yourself so that your self-talk is full of love and compassion. Make sure you’re treating yourself with the care you’re willing to extend to others.

One of the most powerful things you can do is speak life into yourself. The negativity and toxicity of the outside world can be harmful. But the most damage is done when your view of yourself is clouded with your own negativity and toxicity.

So flush your system with self-affirmations.

Affirm yourself. And get your loved ones to affirm you, too.

If you’re in a not-so-great place, get your loved ones to affirm you first and then you immediately pick up where they left off. But if you’re in at least a decent place, affirm yourself first. Lock in with who you are, where you are, and how you feel about you…and then remind yourself that YOU ARE HER! (or HIM!) (or THEM!)

ALSO: Big Girl Blitz (Curve 3) is available April 14, 2026 everywhere books are sold! Please buy a book or two so I can hit my goal. Thank you in advance!

And if you’re interested in some Maryland Monarchs merch, preorder it HERE! Coming May 2026!

Last but not least: Congratulations to Lindsay, Lela, Porscha, and Shannan! They were the March paperback giveaway winners! I forgot to request a picture of them holding their books.

All of these connections, these relationships matter.

But know the differences.

Hold on to the ones that are for a lifetime.

Enjoy the ones that are for a moment.

Let go of the ones that have run its course.

Life is meant to be lived in joy, in peace, and in truth. Life is meant to be lived with people who love you well and right and fully. Life is meant to be lived. So you should operate as if your life is the gift that it is.

Make this a year of YES.

Thinking about the current state of the world, my mind kept drifting to 2019.

I was speaking to a friend and telling him how on my birthday trip to Bali in 2018, God had placed it on my heart to say YES (healthily) to people in 2019. So I did. I did things I’ve always wanted to do, I went places I’ve always wanted to go, and I made a way out of no way time and time again. Most of the moves I made involved people I’d made connections with—some of those connections were temporary, some of those connections were life long. But the memories are forever.

I went on a best friends trip and for the very first time, all five of us were present. I went to Maui for the first time and whale watched with an author friend ( referred to as The BESTIE since the day we met in 2014 ). I went to on a date to Milan, Italy (it wasn’t as romantic as it sounds). I went with my best friend (that I’ve known since 9th grade) to Paris and Rome. I spent a long weekend with an author friend in her new home in Memphis. No one I was close to wanted to go to this festival, so I went to the very first Something In The Water in Virginia Beach with a man I’d become friends with and his best friend. After bonding over Supernatural two years prior, an author friend and I met in another city to go to a Supernatural Convention for the weekend. I went to so many concerts: I went by myself to see Hozier because no one wanted to go. I went to see Nas, Lizzo, and Mos Def with friends. I officiated a wedding and I’d never officiated a wedding before in my life. I did book signings, community conversations, and wrote and published one romance, three romantic suspense, and one nonfiction. This isn’t inclusive of dinners, movies, dates, art shows, and other fun activities. I spent 2019 saying YES and then 2020 came and Covid shut the world down.

I spent the majority of 2020 at home, avoiding getting sick. I worked nonstop to avoid cabin fever. I missed seeing my loved ones, I missed traveling, I missed doing all the things I loved. But I adapted and shifted all of my energy into my work.

We are living in unprecedented times. As an elder millennial, my whole life has been unprecedented event after unprecedented event. But right now, today in particular, I felt the same feeling I felt in 2019 come over me.

So if you were looking for a sign to make it a year of YES (healthily), this is it.

Say YES to people.

Say YES to experiences.

Say YES to living your life to the fullest.

Also… say YES to preordering Big Girl Blitz please!

And if you’re looking for an opportunity to win a paperback ARC of Big Girl Blitz, check this out: Paperback ARC Giveaway #2

Congratulations to Shenelle who won the Paperback ARC Giveaway #1!

And if you were interested in seeing me on my Big Girl Blitz Release Tour, please see the schedule here: Big Girl Blitz Release Tour

I’m Black history, Black present, and Black future.

The Magic Is In The Melanin

In 2023, I published InstaLove, a reality TV romance in which Mariah is wearing a “controversial” t-shirt. In my mind, she was wearing a shirt that says The Magic is in the Melanin. I didn’t specify that in the book because I wanted to see if I could get Nicole Falls (the talented author is creative in so many ways) to create it the way I saw it in my mind. She did and the shirts were available for purchase on my site (fingers crossed I’ll be able to bring them back this year). But the reason The Magic is in the Melanin popped into my head was because someone questioned black girl magic. And I remember thinking that the magic isn’t just on us, it’s in us. And then poof—the phrase the magic is in the melanin was born! And when I later found out that melanin absorbs light, EMF, and sound and then converts that into biological energy, I was further committed to the phrase. The magic truly is in the melanin.

You know what else is magical – SELF-LOVE!

People like to think getting to this place of self-love is just a continuous upward motion when really there are peaks and valleys because LIFE. But the valleys get less steep as the journey goes on. Because you bounce back quicker, you pivot harder, you dig deeper, you exit sooner, you choose better. So the amount of time you’re down is shorter and the next peak is higher. Allow self-awareness, self-worth, and self-love converge so that you understand that you are meant to be here. You have a purpose. You are worthy. You are amazing. You are uniquely created. You are YOU. And THAT is your MAGIC.

And if you’re looking for an opportunity to win a paperback ARC of Big Girl Blitz, check this out HERE. https://forms.gle/ccEhwbniWtj4tRkGA

So, I am committed to being more consistent in 2026 so I’m going to be sending out Substack newsletters and Patreon videos at the beginning of each month. I’m committed to AT LEAST twelve entries this year. It’s on my goal list again but unlike before, I have a plan to make it happen in a more real way. I’m also not going to hold myself to the idea of the content coming out on the first. I’m going to give myself until the 5^th of every month. Much like rent, the content is due on the 1^st but it isn’t late until the 5^th. That keeps me still on track without the added pressure of adding yet another thing on my to-do list. So, here’s to setting realistic goals and putting it out into the world to help with accountability.

So now that that’s out of the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! And welcome to The Art of Being Danielle and welcome to 2026! I’m Danielle. And today I’m talking about resolutions, goals, reinvention and new beginnings.

I completely get those people who rebuke the idea of January 1^st being a new beginning. I understand the argument that it makes more sense for new things to begin in the spring because that’s when the Earth is blooming again. But the calendar year changing over is a reset as well. We are still in the midst of winter, feeling hibernation mode-ready, coming off the high of the holidays. But the new year is a great time to start something new.

But so is the first.

So is Monday.

So is tomorrow.

So is today.

The reset that is most important is the reset that happens internally. When you’re ready to do something new, that’s when you will be most motivated to do it. When you’re ready for change, that is when you will change—or at the very least attempt to change. The goals that you come up with for the year are not your goals because it’s a new year. These are your goals because these are things you want to do (or they SHOULD be things you want to do). The new year just gave you permission to reset. Some people find it hard to break old habits, to do new things, to set boundaries, to get on a plan, to make something different happen because it takes effort and it takes us out of our norm. We crave the familiar, we are comfortable with the familiar, so we tend to lean into the familiar. But when you want something different, you have to do something different. And sometimes that looks like a complete overhaul and sometimes that looks like small changes that get you to your goal. Either way, if your intention is to reset, it doesn’t matter if your reset was on the first, if it’s Monday, if it’s in the Spring, if it’s on your birthday or if it’s on a random afternoon while stuck in traffic. Your life is yours and yours alone and it’s your responsibility to make it amazing. And you have right here, right now to do it. So live for today!

So what’s your plan to make 2026 your best year yet?

Speaking of living for today… Have you read Broken Clocks?

There is a special edition of Broken Clocks being restocked! This special edition version of Broken Clocks comes with a new, hardback cover and a bonus scene that *softens* this emotional romantic fiction story. This is a must-have on your bookshelf! If you’re interested in this special edition, please preorder here while supplies last.

https://square.link/u/evVqajgq

And remember: tomorrow is not promised… live for today!

Praying each of you have a great day, week, month, and year. Talk soon!

XOXO

Danielle

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