Can you feel Spring in the air? It’s felt like Spring for most of August here in Perth & even though it is still quite cold (18 is cold for us), when you get out in the sun for a bit, it’s warm. We started building a windbreak for the veggie garden on Sunday. I am very slap happy, but my husband does things properly, which means they take longer & they usually cost more. He started building it while I was out grocery shopping, so now I have to go along with his way. And it’ll be great & will last a really long time; I’m just unsure if it has to be so... much.

Today on a walk with a client, I noticed the first leaves coming back on the bare trees. It’s exciting watching nature do her thing, don’t you think? I know it’s all science; it’s kind of magic too, isn’t it?

Here’s my spring laptop wallpaper. As I was making it, I wasn’t sure if I really liked it, but by the end I was very happy with it. Now when I open up my computer, I smile when I see it. It feels right for the coming season.

On the weekend, as I was sitting at Sadie’s netball game (1 game to go & we have lost ZERO games all season!!!), a little girl came & quietly stood next to me. She put out her hand & gave me this little flower. She had a palm full of them. I said thank you; she smiled & walked away. Kids are great, aren’t they?

I had my diabetes tested the other week. Have I told you this? Anyway, my cholesterol is high so of course the Doctor said: “lose weight, move more & eat a Mediterranean diet”. Sweet Jesus, it never ends, does it? I’m pretty aware that I’m not sitting at a comfortable (for me) weight, mostly because my waistbands are tight & my engagement ring, which I’ve worn since July 2000, is uncomfortably tight (most days I have to take it off), but having “lose weight & move more” be the default answer to every health problem makes me tired. The good news is- no diabetes!!! And all my other health markers are AOK! I am plump but healthy.

Are you an inbox zero person? I am. I cannot have a little number sitting on my email app telling me how many unread emails I have; it makes me jittery. I am the same with texts. I am great at unsubscribing, doing sweeps of my inbox every so often & a lot of the time I will delete emails as I read them. Until recently. My Substack inbox (all my Substack emails go to a separate inbox in my email) is not at zero. I cannot read a Substack to save my life right now! I will always read Pip’s; hers are a joy & I look forward to them. But the rest? Sorry, you are not being read right now. Currently, I have an aversion to opinions & advice. Share a recipe, your day, a list of links you think I’ll like & I will lap it up! Anything else is not for me right now.

Maybe it’s a reading issue. Ask me about the last book I read? I couldn’t tell you because I am not reading. It’s like I used all my reading capacity at the start of the year & now I have none left. I am watching a lot of gardening & cooking content, so maybe that’s why I can’t read at the moment….

I’m still wondering if you ever stop noticing a pretty sky. I hope I always notice when she’s putting on a show & stop long enough to admire & take photos. Have you noticed that as your kids get older, your camera roll becomes less populated with images of them? I’ve realised this lately, but do you think my kids will let me get photos of them? No way! My camera roll is filled with pictures like the one below, stuff I’m making in the kitchen & then screenshot after screenshot (plant ideas, recipes, places to visit!)

Last week was a very full week. A bit more work, including Saturday, than usual; more appointments & running around for the kids, but I kind of enjoyed it. And I still managed to get to the gym 3 days & the Saturday market, & then an open Sunday, which felt kinda perfect; I like having things to do so long as I have everything planned out. I am realising that working a few extra hours a week is also good, not just for my bank balance, but it makes me feel good too. So long as I have a good balance of work & open time, I feel good.

OK. That’s enough rambling from me. I’ve got raspberry canes & seeds to plant before tidying the kitchen & getting dinner sorted (tray-baked tacos inspired by this but with pulled chicken I made in the crockpot on Saturday). Hope you’re well, friends. Tell me what’s been happening.

Talk soon xx

1- What is your favourite time of day?
Nighttime, when everyone has gone to bed & I have the quiet house to myself

2-What is your biggest weakness?
Not prioritising my own needs. But thanks to Peri, that is changing a little.

3- How do you relax?
It depends on what sort of relaxing I need. Sometimes it’s lying down to read, sometimes (lately) it's being in the garden pottering about, sometimes it’s scrolling on my laptop.

4- What is most important to you?
My kids. I’ve been a mum almost my entire adult life, so they are everything to me. My marriage would be an extremely close second, almost equal.

5- One thing in your bag at all times?
Old receipts, my reading glasses & lip balm/gloss

6- What inspires you? My friend Honae. She is the best.

7- What colour was your prom formal dress
My Year 10 one was red & my Year 12 one was black & dark green, kinda tie-dyed, very goth hippy vive.

8- How do you describe yourself in three words?
Open. Talkative. Kind.

9- What do you notice when you first meet someone?
Their face to see if they seem friendly & then maybe what they are wearing.

10- What are your friends like?
I have 4 super close friends & they are all different. They are fun & supportive; they listen to all my bullshit, laugh at my drama & I know they love me.

11- What is a new song you love right now?

OBSESSED with Role Model’s “Joy”

12- What is your favourite season?
I love the start of every season because by then I am so sick of the season we’ve just had, but I think I’m a shoulder-season (Spring & autumn) girl these days

13- What are you scared of?
Mice & rats.

14- How many kids do you want? I only wanted 2 but have 4 & I think it worked out great.

15- What is your favourite flower?
I have 20 frangipani plants at my house (I only bought 2 & the rest are from the side of the road on green waste collection days), so probably them, but I also adore gardenia, hydrangea, alyssum & jonquils.

16- Tea or coffee?
Neither. I don’t drink hot drinks.

17- If you could play any instrument, which would you play? Harmonica

18- Favourite holiday?
Any trip we did in the caravan when the kids were younger is my favourite. These days it would be somewhere beside a beach, minimal cooking & cleaning, lazy days & with all my family.

19- What places do you want to visit?
I don’t have the travel gene; it’s not something that I really want to do, but I would love to get to Tassie, Uluru & the Daintree.

20- Must-have beauty product?
Moisturise. I’m not loyal to any one brand. In winter I like a thicker one & in Summer I switch to a lighter one.

21- Favourite thing about yourself?
That I’m chatty. I love chatty people.

22- What was the name of your first pet? Penny. She was a Chihuahua my dad got for free when someone had a box of puppies in Gosford Marketplace. It was the 80’s; this shit happened.

23- Favourite apps on your phone?
WhatsApp because it’s where my favourite podcast is (the voice notes Honae sends me), Spotify because I love music & podcasts & BorrowBox because it’s where I get most of my audiobooks from.

24- Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Living on a big property with Tim somewhere down south, tending to my big garden, feeding my chooks & having a little farm stall out the front that stocks things from the garden, baked goods from my kitchen & also has a Free Little Library.

25- Next tattoo you want to get?
I have been wanting a book-related tattoo for years but never make the time to get it done. I have 4 already (3 from my teens, 1 after my sister died).

26- Which three famous people would you invite for tea?
I don’t think I’d invite any because what the hell would I talk to them about!

27- Favourite designer? I don’t have one. Designers aren’t really something I look at much.

28- Favourite scent?
Jasmine growing along my fence.

29- Which person would you ask 73 questions to?
My husband. I would love to see what he says.

30- What is your favourite thing to eat?
Warm sourdough from my oven with a big slathering of salty butter.

31- What was your favourite movie as a child? The Wizard of Oz

32- Movie that makes you cry every time you watch it?
The Notebook. It doesn’t matter how many times I have watched it I still cry when they die.

33- Favourite thing to wear?
It used to be jeans, a T-shirt & sandals, but now I’m chubby. I prefer soft pants & a long-sleeve shirt when it’s cold, & when it’s hot I love to wear oversized, boxy dresses.

34- Most adventurous thing you’ve done?
I am not adventurous at all.

35- One movie you can watch over and over?
Beetlejuice. Pulp Fiction. Twilight.

36- What is the coolest thing in the world?
People living life the way they want without worrying what anyone thinks of them or their choices.

37- What are your three favourite albums? Fleetwood Mac- Rumours. Pearl Jam -Live on Two Legs. Olivia Rodrigo- Guts

8- Sweet or savoury?
sweet

39- Cats or dogs?
I have both, but I lean towards cats more than dogs these days.

40- Favourite actress?
Winona Ryder.Julia Roberts. Sandra Bullock.

41- Favourite place you ever visited?
Byron Bay. But not today’s Byron, the Byron from when I was a tiny kid & used to visit my aunt & uncle.

42- What show are you currently watching?
The only thing I am watching is The Block & I hate how drama-filled it is these days.

43- Favourite male singer
Currently it’s Role Model. He makes me so happy.

44- Favourite female singer
Olivia Rodrigo. I would have loved the shit out of her as a teen.

45- Who do you turn to when you’re sad?
My husband if I need someone in front of me. Honae, if I need to rant & rave & cry, I dump it all in a voice note to her & then I feel better.

46- Do you like cooking or baking?
Baking all the way!

47- Favourite snack food?
Anything sweet.

48- Secret talent?
I’m a fast reader.

49- What are you most excited for these days?
Going home at Christmas to see family.

50- What does your name mean?
"Maiden" or "goddess." In Welsh mythology, Rhiannon (the traditional way to spell my name) is associated with horses and is depicted as a goddess of fertility and the moon. My mum named me after the Fleetwood Mac song & I grew up with my pop telling me I was named after a witch.

51- Hobbies that you will never give up.
Hobbies will come & go, but reading is forever.

52- What makes you mad?
Slow walkers. WHY ARE THEY WALKING LIKE THAT!!!!

53- Which song would you like to hear to be happy? I have so many happy songs I couldn’t choose.

54- Favourite word in English?
Sassafrass. Collegial. Vale.

55- Something people don’t know about you
I don’t think there’s much because I can’t keep shit to myself. I will tell you anything & everything.

56- What old song track are you into right now? The Fratellis, Chelsea Dagger. That song is SO GOOD!

57- Window or aisle seat?
If I’m by myself, window. If I’m travelling with my kids, it’ll be a middle seat to stop them fighting.

58- Favourite piece of clothing?
I don’t currently have one.

59- Optimistic or pessimistic? Optimist. You don’t have the middle name HOPE & end up a pessimist!

60- Something from your childhood that you still have?
A book, Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, that my mum gave me for my 8th birthday.

61- Favourite part of the day?
I love the evening shutdown when I’m closing all the blinds and the sun is setting. I do love early mornings too, but only if I’ve had enough sleep.

62- Do you believe in fate?
Hmmmmm, not sure. Maybe?

63- Diamonds or pearls?
Pearls if I had to pick, but I prefer amber & opals.

64- What is something you can’t do? I can’t drive with a trailer on; my brain just doesn’t get it!

65- What do you usually eat for breakfast?
I’m on a sultana bran streak right now.

66- Favourite colour?
Navy Blue

67- What makes you happy?
When all my kids are under one roof.

68- What is your advice towards people? Be kind.

69- What is your favourite ice cream flavour?
The Tonight Dough by Ben & Jerry’s

70- Do you prefer milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
Milk

71- What is your favourite fruit? I don’t eat fruit; I never have, but I do love raspberries when they are in season.

72- Vintage or new?
I prefer vintage

73- Who is your favourite superhero? If we are talking Marvel universe, it’d be Thor; he is so funny. But when I was a kid, I loved She-Ra, Princess of Power.

That was fun! If you have a blog or newsletter & decide to do this, let me know. Or pick some questions from above & answer them in the comments so I can have a read.

Talk soon xx

Hi friends. It’s a rainy day & my gosh do we need it! Perth is having an extremely dry winter; to be honest, most days have felt more like Spring than winter, so the wet day is extremely welcome. Sorry if weather talk is boring to you, but I am VERY into the weather & if anyone ever bought me one of those fancy weather reading gadgets I would be happy as!

I’m sure the title of this post gave away what I’d be chatting about, so let’s get into it, shall we?

I’m aiming for a low-spend August & last week was not only low spend but low consumption in general. I didn’t waste too much time on the internet; in fact, the time I did spend on the internet was really useful & didn’t feel wasteful at all. I didn’t go food shopping until I really needed to, which meant I used up a lot of food at home, even if that did result in a pretty ordinary soup for dinner one night. I am consuming less sugary foods as well as attempting to eat more fibre & protein to see if it’ll help me feel less bloated (most days it feels like my tummy comes out from under my boobs!!!), help my digestion & give me more energy. It was a good week!

I know I’ve mentioned before about my hyperfixations & while I don’t have an ADHD diagnosis, nor do I identify as someone with ADHD (my ADHD sister likes to tell me I have ADHD often lol), I do think this is one trait I might have. When I get a hyperfixation, though, I don’t feel like it’s dysregulating or disrupts my daily life; I feel like it’s a joyful thing, something that makes my life more fun & interesting. For me, it’s like a hobby goes into overdrive. It’s all I want to do, read about, learn about, consume content about. Right now, it’s gardening with a sourdough offshoot lol. If we ate enough sourdough that meant I had to cook a loaf everyday I would be happy.

I’ve spent the last 2 weekends in the garden & my god is it good for me! We have been giving the old veggie some love & attention; I’ve dug & divided plants, created new garden beds & planted a lot of native shrubs, trees & bushes. I spend evenings trawling Facebook Marketplace looking for cheap or free plants ( I picked up some monster Frangipani cuttings for free last week!), watching gardening videos or reels, and I’ve populated my Instagram feed with local home gardeners & have no less than 11 gardening books borrowed from the library. I spent some time yesterday sorting all my seeds. And of course I have a little gardening journal to jot down things, plan beds & watering systems & keep track of all the new plants I’ve acquired. Joy! Pure joy is what I feel indulging in this hyperfixation.

It feels like I’m in a flow state right now & that is saying something because I do not feel like this very often. I’m meal planning (always a good sign), on top of housework (or I’ve just given up on the things that don’t matter, like folding the kids’ clothes), work is chugging along nicely, and I’m not feeling like I should be doing any more than I am or that I am doing things wrong. My kids are who they are & I’m OK with that. My marriage ebbs & flows & that’s OK too. My body might not look nice, but it works just fine & so long as I treat it right I’m Ok with being a very plump middle-aged lady (did anyone catch 60 Minutes last night? If ever you needed a reminder to not mess with a body that works fine but doesn’t look the way you’d like it to, that was it!). Money comes & goes & as long as I can keep paying my bills, fill my kitchen with food & meet our needs, that’s good enough.

Good enough living is pretty much where it’s at for me. I am not striving for more than that most days. I can see other people doing the most & think, “good for them, not for me,” which isn't always the case. A lot of the time tend to think if someone is doing more than me, then that is what I should be aiming for too, but for now, I feel like what I am doing, how I am living, is good enough.

Other recent good things include the first flowers on the fence jasmine (house jasmine is barely hanging on), always being awed by the show the sky puts on, happy benches, jars of jonquils picked from the garden every week, & as always, op-shopped books.

Tell me something good from your week? Or something that brought you joy!

Talk soon xx

1. Is anyone enjoying Instagram these days? Do you even post there? Because I just had a look back at my own feed & thought it looked really nice & wondered if I could start sharing there again without feeling like trash?

2. Does it already feel like Spring at your place & are you worried about your winter rainfall because SAME!!! Where is all the winter rain?

3. Do you feel like you don’t have enough time to do all the things you want to do? Because this weekend I want/need/would like to get to the gym, take Sadie to netball, do some meal prep so weekday Reannon feels good, visit the farmers markets, take Sadie & her friend to the movies, plant my seeds, weed the neglected veggie bed, spread the sheep poo & sleep in on Sunday. It’s not realistic, is it?

4. What’s your latest hyperfixation (if you get them?) Mine is gardening, so I’ve been following lots of garden people on Instagram & Substack, borrowed a bunch of books & magazines from the library, joined a seed club (free membership via my library!) & have a ticket to a free gardening event run by my library. I love having a hyperfixation.

5. Do you feel a bit overwhelmed with all the health advice out there for women? I really do, & sometimes I feel like I should forget it all & do what feels good & right for me. Because will we all be protein-maxxing in 10 years? Will the advice have changed like it always seems to? Our nanas were/all are ok, aren’t they, & I don’t think they were counting protein or fibre or worrying about lifting weights. Or am I being silly? Should I keep shovelling protein down my throat & forcing myself to lift weights 3 times a week because that’s the current thing we are told is good for us?

6. If you have a partner, do they know how much groceries cost? Tim came to Costco with me this afternoon & was shocked at how much everything cost, which reminded me that he actually would have no clue how much it costs to feed our family. Food is my domain & that’s (mostly) how I like it.

I think that’s it. Thanks for letting me clear my head. Have a good weekend!

Talk soon xx

Friends, I felt myself slipping today, slipping back towards the rut that consumed me a few weeks ago. I know why I started to slip. I’m not doing things that make me feel my best. I’m doing things that are no good for me. And parenting my daughter makes me feel like I am failing all day, every day. It’s exhausting.

I find it hard to know how much to share about the details of my family life. If you sat at my kitchen table, I’d tell you everything, but as much as I like to imagine that this space is like chatting over my back fence, I know it’s not. But here’s the thing, I find parenting incredibly hard a lot of the time. I don’t have “easy” kids. I have kids with irks & quirks, whose brains work differently to other people’s, who deal with mental health struggles & all manner of other things. And that does not make for easy parenting.

Currently I have 2 kids at home. They are 12 & 13. They are our second-act kids, the littles, as I call them. I’ve already raised two kids into adulthood; I’ve been here before, but when our bigs were this age, I was not a perimenopausal woman with 26 years of active parenting under my belt. I’m tired. And moody.

I’ve never had a teen daughter before. I’ve never had an autistic daughter before. I find it hard to untangle the hormones from the neurodivergence. I find it hard not to take her moods & attitude personally.

Some might disagree, but for me, raising boys & girls is different. My big boys had their moments (& continue to have their moments); my 13-year-old is a handful, often a delightful handful but a handful nonetheless, but combining all three boys doesn’t come close to what it’s been like with my daughter. I’m not good at being her mum a lot of the time & that sucks. I know I’m not a bad mum; I do know that, honestly, but man, I’m really struggling with feeling like a shitty mum right now.

Perth is doing false Spring. Honestly, it feels like it’s barely rained here this winter. I just checked; we’ve had about half the average winter rainfall with one month remaining. It has been cold, but not freezing. Most days I get away with wearing a singlet & one of these Uniqlo tops. It really feels like the first days of spring & the sunny skies are doing wonders for keeping me out of the doldrums.

All I want to do is be in the garden, but it is still too cold to do much out there. I did wander around Bunnings on Monday after work & picked up 6 ground-cover roses, 6 pots of 3 different varieties of daisies, & a few indoor plants, all for about 60% off!!!! None are in bad shape, so I’m not sure why they were discounted, but I plan to get them in the ground over the weekend. I also have 10 80-litre bags of sheep poo being delivered tomorrow, so that will also be weekend Reannon’s job too.

Actually, I also only want to make sourdough. I have fallen completely in love with it again. My camera roll is filled with photos of bread & my bitchy starter bubbling her head off. It makes me SOSOSO happy. And my kids can’t get enough of the bread. Here are a few of the photos.

The false Spring weather is also making me want to reorder parts of my life, a reset of sorts. I love knowing I can reset any time things feel off-kilter. I know my muscles aren’t recovering from exercise because I am not eating well enough, especially when it comes to protein. After all, starchy carbs are what I am reaching for. I find pasta & bread the most comforting foods, along with sugar. While comfort food is very comforting, I am sick of my body not recovering from workouts. Please send easy protein ideas my way!

My reading room is messy. My laundry & linen cupboard are messy. I still haven’t put the games room & spare room in order since we had the floors done in DECEMBER!!!! There’s always washing that needs to be folded or put away. I need to put my environment in order, so I feel a bit more…in control.

I’m aiming to do a low-spend August. I’ve never really done a purposeful low-spend month before, but we have a holiday booked for September, which means no pay (we are both sole traders), which always makes me a little stressed. My plan is no unnecessary buys (no op-shop or Kmart visits!) & once I do a Costco shop this week I want to try & keep grocery spending to an absolute minimum. I stopped tracking my grocery spending back in May & I know it’s gotten a little loosey-goosey. Pulling back on my spending will help me feel a bit more… in control.

Yes, control is a big thing for me. It makes me feel safe. Yes, I speak to my therapist about it all the time lol

OK. It’s passed my self-imposed bedtime (another thing that’s gotten loosey-goosey of late & contributes to me not feeling good). I’m going to read a few pages of Annie Smithers Recipe for a Kinder Life (my reading life is in the bin too) to make my eyes tired & settle my brain. As always, thanks for reading my rambles.

Talk soon xx

But my attention span is shot to shit. Ask me the last time I read a book & I couldn’t answer you. I am here there & everywhere but also nowhere. I think this feeling cyclical for me. Maybe it’s hormonal? Maybe it’s seasonal. I don’t really know.

Today, I realised that I absolutely need a break from the news. A local story just tipped me over the edge. It’s a story that’s played out in the news every week. A story of family violence. After reading an article today & seeing it in the news last night it was as though my heart said to my brain “ok, no more.”

And I think my brain is also saying “no more input please, we can’t take any more in”. It’s too much right? Not just the news but everything. There’s too much of everything!

I feel it’s time for a little reset for me. There’s a lot going on in my life, both good & trying, so I need to be responsible for what I consume. I need to stop looking for distractions & thinking I need more information, more ideas, more of everything. I have plenty. I know plenty. There is plenty to do.

Talk soon xx

Friends, Monday was a DOOZY. It is not an understatement when I say that some day, some months, parenting kicks my arse SO INCREDIBLY HARD. You might think that after 26 years of being a parent & having four kids that I might actually have a grip on the situation by now. But it is true when people say “every kid is different”. Most days I am still slightly clueless, & some days I look at my husband & say “ what. the. actual. fuck!!!!” Monday I did not want to parent anymore. Monday, I could understand how some parents walk out on their family, never to return. Monday had me ready to run.

But like all hard things that have so far happened in my life, it passed & I am back to happily parenting. If you have had a lovely, easy, non-eventful parenting journey, please know I am eternally jealous.

I had a few days off this week and got absolutely nothing done that I wanted to, but I did get Blake set up for homeschooling. This involved digging out an old laptop & spending a silly amount of time wiping & resetting it (I am EXTREMELY tech-challenged), watching YouTube videos about how to access the online classes, trying one out & crossing my fingers that it all works. We are also going to spend time redoing Blake’s bedroom this weekend, so it can also be his learning space. Again, please pray to your gods or goddesses that this homeschooling malarky works for us.

I spent a silly amount of time reading Substack this week. I don’t know exactly what I am looking for there, but I know I haven’t found it yet. Actually, maybe I do know what I am looking for. I’m looking for people who write about their lives, the mundane & cosy, the ones who mess up & aren’t afraid to be exactly who they are. There’s a time & place for writing that teaches or guides us, but mostly I still crave the personal blogs of everyday people. Maybe I should stop telling myself to write less & be the writer I want to see, just sharing all the daily stuff as often as I want?

Who is your favourite Substack writer?

I got myself to the gym a few times, went walking, once by a giant pond, once in the hills & I even managed to do some yoga at home to stretch my sore muscles. I am aiming to get in one more gym session over the weekend, but if I don’t manage that, it’s ok. I am learning to be much less all-or-nothing in my goals. I still want to be a person who moves their body in some capacity, but I’d also like to be a person who listens to their own needs, so when their body, or brain, says “let’s ease up a little”, I don’t think I am failing if I do slow down.

Did I tell you that I had been trying to revive my more than 13-year-old hibernating sourdough starter? Well, I have & it took 12 days for her to come alive. I was ready to give up, throw her away & ask my friend Honae to send me some of her starter that has my starter’s DNA in it, but lo & behold, I woke up yesterday to a fully active starter! I baked a loaf this morning & have more dough on my bench now. Baking sourdough feels like it is part of my core personality, & it feels good to be bringing it back.

Speaking of bringing parts of my core personality back, this week I have been really getting into gardening content. I feel like I am ready to have a crack at growing veggies again this summer. I’ve been watching YouTube videos & reading content made by Perth gardeners to gather all the hints & tips. I’m even thinking about making a little gardening notebook. It might all fail & be a waste of money (again), but for now I’m looking forward to being in the garden again.

I think we all know that reading & collecting books is part of my DNA, & this week the op-shop gods shone down on me. I have 11 new books to add to my personal library- 5 cookbooks (2 of which I used to own & gave away in the great minimalist cull of 2018 & have regretted ever since), the rest novels (1 I have read but wanted to own). I also borrowed 6 books from the library. When will I get the time to read them all?! Probably never, but that’s OK because I just feel better having stacks of books piled around me at all times.

I also nabbed these pants for $11, a Dotti dress for $11 & a Napkin holder. That’s a good week of op-shopping. And again, now that I’ve written about op-shopping, I realise I also think of that as part of my core personality. It’s something I’ve done since I was a kid that makes me feel like me.

Blake & I watched The Hunt for the Wilderpeople last night (Thursday). It’s a movie Tim & I have watched multiple times, but I still laughed out loud with Blake. By the end, he said, “That's my new favourite movie”. It’s always fun introducing your kids to something you love, isn’t it?

It’s raining for most of the weekend here in Perth. Over the next two days, I’ve got to do a chemist run for my HRT, take Sades to a friend’s birthday party, help Tim put shelves up in Blake’s room & organise his desk ready for school on Monday, & I’d really like to do some baking- biscuits, maybe a slice, maybe some savoury muffins to use up the languishing zucchini & pumpkin in the fridge.

Now that I’ve written this, I can see that this week I did a lot of things that made me feel like me. Last week was really about finding my groove again, & this week, despite the very shitty start, I feel like I stayed in that groove. That’s good. I’m pleased about that.

What’s been happening in your world this week?

Talk soon xx

Saturday, I got up, had a blueberry bagel * protein shake (Costco bagels are awesome), then I got Blake some gear to drop off because he was heading away for another night with the fam he stayed with on Friday night. After dropping that off, I headed to Bunnings. I got potting mix, some seedlings- chillis, pansies, foxgloves- some hooks, a plug, 2 new washing baskets & 2 tubs to put the kids’ washing in. I’ve decided I am no longer folding their clothes, only sorting them.

On the way home, I stopped at a new bakery to grab a pie & a French vanilla slice for Tim & a sausage roll for me. I’ve found my new favourite sausage roll.

After I came home, I potted up all the plants that needed potting up, stopped for lunch & then went out to do some weeding. After I weeded the jonquil patch, down near the gardenias & the messy bed near the clothesline where I am growing sweet potatoes, I sprayed poison over the huge areas infested with weeds.

I came in, had a shower, made gozleme dough & sat down to read East of Eden.

I ate dinner watching the end of Project Hail Mary. I love that movie so much. Afterwards, I finally finished my book. Loved it. Then I watched some gardening YouTube videos because I am contemplating having a veggie garden again. I then spent time googling bamboo as a windbreak before going to bed way too late.

Sunday, I slept in, got up & had cereal for breakfast before heading out to blow around the house. Then I spent hours fixing fences, chopping down a tree (Tim chopped it down, then I had a go with the chainsaw, cutting it into smaller pieces for the fire), carting said wood to the woodpile, stacking the wood & finally having a shower.

It’s now 515pm, we’ve ordered Indian for dinner, the fire is going & I feel good.

The answers to getting out of the rut I found myself in were action, being outdoors, moving my body, and being off screens by 830pm (most nights!). I made a to-do list so I could get all the things out of my head, & see what actually needed doing. And no lie, writing here every day has been a HUGE help!

Time also helps. No mood or feeling is forever, is it?

I think this weekend helped me realise I want to get back to some of my outdoor hobbies. I love pottering around outdoors. I love planting things & watching them grow. I love making plans (or dreaming) for our space. I might not feel the same come summer, but for now, when the weather is nice, I’m going to head outdoors. Maybe I am more of an outdoor kind of person than I think I am?

Thank you so much for letting me spam your inbox all week, for cheering me along, chatting back & generally being really fab people to hang out on the internet with. I promise not to bombard you with daily natterings this coming week.

Talk soon xx

No gym today, it was a yoga day with my client, so that took one decision off my plate. Hooray for fewer decisions! I really love yoga & need to go back to incorporating more of it in my week. I remember hearing that even 7 minutes of yoga has benefits. I enjoy Yin yoga the most because I love those full-body stretches you sink into for a few minutes. More yoga next week.

After work, I went to Kmart to grab a basket, 3 frames for my Lore Pemberton prints, a singlet & some velcro hanging tape. Then I dropped off a library book & picked up a hold that was waiting for me. I collected my groceries, filled up my car & grabbed some drive-thru for me & the kids to have for lunch.

Ticking things off my to-do list felt good.

Once I was home, we ate around the kitchen bench before Blake was picked up to go to a mate’s house. I unpacked the groceries before turning the metal basket I bought into something that can keep Tim’s CPAP machine tidy on his bedside table. It turned out really well. I then assembled the lamp I bought a few weeks ago & put that next to his bed. Now I need a double adapter.

I played Role Models’ new video about 4 times in a row while I put all my prints in frames. I then put on a Role Model playlist while I tidied my desk. Then I organised all the recipes I’ve printed over the last few weeks into my kitchen folder, & then I filled all our pill boxes because I hadn’t done that for over a week, which means Blake & I have probably missed some days of taking our supplements. But now I am organised with even more things ticked off my list.

I dicked around on the internet a bit, mostly watching cooking reels on Instagram before looking at a few people’s websites. I have a cookbook in my cart from one creator, but haven’t clicked buy yet. Still haven’t bought any undies yet either. Guess which one I’ll buy first lol

It’s catch & kill tonight, so I had leftover spanakorizo from last night. I’ve done well to use up all the leftovers this week. Not wasting food makes me feel good. Listening to music makes me feel good. Ticking things off my to-do list makes me feel good.

My plan for the weekend at home isn’t going to go to plan. Tim is working, so I’ll have to grab Blake in the morning. It does mean I can stop at Bunnings to get the potting mix & double adapter I didn’t get today, so not terrible. For some reason, once I leave the house, I find it hard to begin anything when I get home. I need to get all the things done, THEN leave the house to do whatever it is that needs doing by leaving the house. It’s always been like this for me.

I am telling myself I have plenty of time to get things ticked off my list because I do have Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday off next week. I am forever telling myself not to rush, to slow down, that I have enough time. I don’t know when I became such a rushed lady. I think it’s one of the reasons I don’t enjoy going to the gym in the morning, because I feel the need to rush to get home to get everyone to school & myself to work. Maybe I’m also lazy. Could be both.

Anyway. I think I’ll be back here tomorrow, not to get ahead of myself, but hopefully completely rut-less. I’ll see you then.

Talk soon xx

I did not go to the gym before work. Instead, I wore my gym clothes to work so that I didn’t have any friction between finishing work, dropping the girls off at the mall, picking up Tim’s new work uniforms & getting to the gym.

I did my weights. Didn’t love it, but love that I did it. Went to the post office to collect a parcel. Came home & ate leftovers while doing invoices. And now I’m sitting here wondering as type why I'm feeling off. There is no glaring reason for it.

I’ve decided to have a “shut the gate” weekend. Do you know what a shut-the-gate weekend is? It’s where, after I get home on Friday afternoon, I shut the gate & have no plans on leaving the house until I have to go back to work on Monday. I need home & home hobbies this weekend. I was seriously thinking about going to the markets, but I will not.

Shit. I’ve just realised that to get my 3 weight sessions in, I WILL have to leave the house on Saturday! That is annoying. OK. That’s the only reason I will leave the house.

I’m going to make sure we have all the grocery items we need (maybe do a click & collect for after work?). I’m going to buy a few bags of potting mix to pot up the plants that need potting. I’m going to bake. I’m going to weed the jonquil patch & maybe even start on the old veggie bed that I plan to fill with sunflowers. Hopefully, I might even finish East of Eden (it’s a hefty book!) I need frames for my new Lore Pemberton prints that arrived, so maybe I’ll grab those after work too.

I know that the answer to this rut is not rest. I think I actually need activities to feel some momentum & to be busy. Not in the “oh I’m so busy” kind of busy, but the busy that makes you feel full of goodness.

I’ve got to take the towels that Blake hung out today off the line before the cold air hits them. We are having leftover schnitzels with spanakarizo for dinner tonight, so all I need to do is cook the rice. We are out of firewood until our next delivery on Monday, so the AC will go on as soon as dusk hits, I’ll light my new candle, close all the blinds & remind myself it’s a new day & this heavy feeling does not need to follow me.

Talk soon xx

It’s super fresh at 7 am & as I’m walking, I can smell people’s fires burning. I love that smell. A guy is acting weird at the overpass; he’s just standing on the side of the road. Maybe he’s not weird, maybe I’m weird, but he is making me feel uncomfortable. I climb the overpass steps, notice how pretty the sky looks & walk down the ramp to head back home.

A half-hour walk is all I have time for today, but that is enough. My daily movement is about moving my body in a way that sets me up for a good old lady life, not changing my body, is the mantra I keep telling myself. I get home, have a shower, wake Blake up so he can get ready for the doctors, make the same breakfast as yesterday and sit down at my desk to have a quick look at Instagram. Not a single thing takes my interest. I check the news headlines, write this & go brush my teeth before we leave.

Doctor’s appointment went well. We now have a referral for an adhd assessment, which means one more thing ticked off my never-ending to-do list.

I spent most of the workday outdoors. The sun was shining & it was cool but not cold. The older I get the more I feel the impacts of the weather on my mood. I feel like I’ve always been in tune with the seasons, but now I can see how the weather changes me. These sunny days during winter are a balm.

After work, I quickly tidied up before my phone meeting. I really have to get better at delegating chores to my kids, especially when they are home on school holidays. Sadie does vacuum the giant lounge room mat, so that’s something.

The phone meeting went well & I am feeling a lot better about the prospect of homeschooling one of my kids. I won’t lie, I feel resentful that this is happening, but I do think it might be the best thing we can do right now. The good news is, if we go with this program, I don’t need to be the teacher; we only need to be the school. The bad news is, my kid will always be home & I will never have those small moments to myself between work ending & picking the kids up from school.

Once the meeting is done, I call Tim to talk it through. No firm decision is made, but it’s a start.

I then go on a Google search to see which pediatricians have books open for adhd assessments for teens. The good news is the wait isn’t as long as when we had Sadie’s ASD assessment back in 2022. The bad news is that telehealth seems to be our best option & the wait is still 3 months. Swings & roundabouts, friends.

Having the assessment booked is one more thing off my list & seems to free up a bit of brain space. Even though it’s months away at least, I know it’s happening. It’s not something we are only talking about; it will happen.

Sadie’s friend comes over. My client cancels tomorrows ’s afternoon session, which means I can take Sadie & her friend to the mall so they can see a movie & walk around the shops. I text my friend to ask if she wants to have lunch while they see their movie. I decided to order pizza for dinner tonight. We are all watching the State of Origin & I was planning to make homemade ones, but once I’d finished everything I needed to do today, I felt kind of depleted & no longer in the mood to cook. It’s fine. One night a week of unplanned takeaway isn’t the end of the world.

Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym for a second weight session before work. I don’t need to leave until 830am, so that’s plenty of time. The last two nights I’ve read in bed from 830pm, then listened to rain sounds instead of an audiobook & I think I am having better sleep because of it. Maybe the sleep is better because I’m not rotting in front of a screen before climbing into bed. Either way, I feel like I am getting back into a better nighttime routine.

One thing I know for sure is that I am a routine person. The kids being on holiday throws me off, & it’s as though I tell myself I have more time to do everything, but what ends up happening is I waste time. Maybe I am someone who needs to always be in a routine? Tim wakes up at the same time every day, regardless of what he has going on. Maybe I need to do the same thing each day to stop myself getting in a rut? Might it also help with decision fatigue?

Today I feel less in a rut than yesterday. My brain feels a bit emptier, in a good way, & It feels like I have made some steps forward.

Talk soon xx

I tell Tim, “I’m going to the gym this morning. I have to”. He says, “Can’t you go after work? Go after work if it’s easier.”

He leaves & I climb back into bed to look at my phone & say to myself “I’ll get up & go at 7 am”. Friends. I did not go at 7. I stayed in bed, looked at my phone, went & got my laptop from its home on my desk & took it to bed with me. It’s too cold for the reading room! That’s my excuse, but also further proof I am in a rut because I am not sticking to my own rules, rules that make me feel good, not punished. I have a quick scroll through Instagram before googling to see if there is any news about Max leaving Red Bull. I can’t find anything, but I feel like news is coming. I won’t lie, Instagram is boring AF & I know my scroll is purely habit-based, not actual interest-based.

I keep looking at the clock, telling myself to go to the gym. But I don’t. Instead, I click on ABC News, another site blocked permanently on my phone, have a quick look & then get up to make breakfast.

I put on a load of washing, make a bagel with avocado, tomato & spicy bagel seasoning to have with a protein shake. While I eat, I look at buying new underwear. I have two styles I like & want to replace all my other undies with, but all I do is add them to cart then click away. This is what I always do: add things to cart, then sit on them for a few days before either ordering or forgetting about them entirely. How many pairs of undies do you think we need? I think 10-15. I currently have 6, 3 of each of the 2 styles I like, which means I’d need to order another 4-9 pairs, totalling around $120 without shipping. That seems like a dumb amount to spend on undies.

I hung out the load of washing. Had a shower & headed to work. I tell myself I will come home, get changed & go to the gym.

I walked into the gym at 137pm already wanting to leave. I think my brain is still conditioned to think that coming to the gym means my body should be changing, & with the plethora of mirrors here, I can see it hasn’t changed at all. Actually, that’s a lie. It’s changed, but it’s gotten bigger, rounder, plumper. It doesn’t look stronger, toned or smaller. It is stronger, though. I know that for a fact.

I tell myself to do lighter weights so that it feels easier. First exercise, I drop the weight by 2kg. Second one, I increase it by 2kg. By the end of my session, I’ve either lifter heavier or done more reps in most sets.

By the time I’m walking out, I feel like I’ve taken the first step in getting out of the rut. One weight session doesn’t mean I’m back in routine, but it does mean I’ve taken the first step. It’s always that first step that is the hardest, right?

I message the kids to ask if they want to go to the waterfall to check if it’s flowing & then come to the egg farm (across-the-road neighbours’ chooks are off the lay for winter). Sadie says no, she’s busy bedazzling things, Blake says yes.

The waterfall is not flowing. We decide to check again at the end of the month if there has been more rain. We drive out to the egg farm. Blake picks the music & we chat. Things have been tricky with him lately & we’ve had to make some hard decisions. We talk about the why of some of those decisions.

We get home, I light my new candle, close all the windows, and eat some licorice before sitting down to write the last part of this. Today was bluie skies & crisp air. I think it helped.

I’ve got full days for the rest of the week- appointments before & after work, and kids on holiday that I seem to be refereeing at all times. I’m contemplating a weekend market visit, but also contemplating having a weekend at home doing the things that need doing-weeding one of the jonquil patches, hanging shelves that had sat on the floor for months, potting up some plants I was given from a client’s mum. I think I’ll see how I feel on Friday.

Now I am going to go crumb some chicken for dinner. Soup was on the menu, but I have leftover veg in the fridge, so I figure I may as well use them. Last night I watched TV with Blake until 818 pm, then read in bed until 9. I’m going to bed at 830 again, I know it’s one of the best things I can do for myself. Let’s say I am going to walk before Blake’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow, too, because straight after work I have a meeting & then Sadie has a new friend coming over & I feel like I need to be around for that.

At 414pm, I feel 4% less in a rut compared to yesterday. That’s good. I couldn’t possibly be rut-less in 24 hours!

Talk soon xx

MONDAY JULY 6TH

I get up at 6 am, determined to go to the gym. I haven’t been for more than a week. That’s my longest not-moving streak since September last year. It doesn’t feel but I have some blockage about the gym right now. I get my leggings out to put on. Sit on my bed & put pyjama pants on instead.

I make Tim’s lunch, say good bye & get back into bed. I lie there in limbo land for 45 minutes & get ready for the day. I regret staying up until 12 am watching the F1. I really have to prioritise sleep more than I have been.

I do yoga with my morning client & I keep reminding myself how good it feels to move my body, stretch & breathe deeply. I tell myself that if I finish work early enough, I’ll go to the gym. The yoga teacher reminds me to take vitamin D after I say that, despite loving winter, I am finding the grey days hard to deal with. I feel as though the weather is contributing to my flattened mood.

I eat lunch while driving between clients. This is not ideal, but at least I packed lunch (garlic chicken & rice) plus snacks for the long drive home ( homemade trail mix & chocolate rice crackers).

I finished work later than expected. I will not be going to the gym when I get home. I stop for a Coke no sugar, because…..I don’t know why. Habit? So much of my eating is habitual.

I tried on pants yesterday & they were a size 18. I’ve never been this big before. I am extremely plump for my height, very round in the middle. I keep telling myself it doesn’t matter, but when I was doing yoga today, I felt uncomfortable. My midsection gets in the way. It even felt like my boobs/neck/chin were getting in the way! I don’t want to diet anymore. I also don’t want to feel uncomfortable & restricted in my movements. What a conundrum.

Thankfully, I put a curry in the slow cooker before work this morning. There will be plenty of work lunches tomorrow, which alleviates one decision in the morning. I think I’m suffering from decision fatigue. I am so tired of being the person who makes all the decisions. This is a problem because decsion making & problem solving are big aspects of my job.

I love my job, but it can be draining to spend all day with autistic people & then come home to autistic people. I have a few days off next week, so I am hoping that’ll recharge my battery. I haven’t had any real time off work since Christmas, but taking time off when you work for yourself & people rely on you is not easy.

My goal for tomorrow is to go to the gym at 615am, be home no later than 730am, so I can get ready to take Blake to the doctor before going to work. I am also going to be in bed at 830pm reading.

Let’s see if I can stick to that plan.

Talk soon xx

The nicest part of June was the beginning. Tim & I were in a really sunny patch, I spent more time outdoors & things felt easy. But all month I’ve had zero concentration, I’ve felt unsettled & totally incapable of doing the normal things that keep me on an even keel. My brain is scattered again. It’s annoying.

If I know one thing for sure, it’s that these times never last. You watch, next time we speak, I bet I’ll be hunky dory.

Here’s June in pictures.

A fluorescent Yorkshire pudding, thanks to my neighbours across the road, backyard eggs.

Layla getting cosy.

Winnie having a rare night indoors.

Tiny daisies

A $25 market haul

The sweetest mandarins & oranges from a friend’s trees

Market sunflowers brightening up the dining room table

Red in the morning, shepherd’s warning

An 1130pm Maccas meal in ED with Blake. We’d been there for 6.5 hours & we’re starving. He has his third broken arm in 8 months, his 5th in 3 years. Thankfully, his hip & leg were fine, which were our real concerns at first. Bloody motorbikes!

My new scribble book. It’s bigger than my usual A5 size, but it was lying around, so I’m using it up

The teeniest, tinniest mushrooms growing on a log along the brook in Jarrahdale

Went on a country town bakery run. These were the silos on the way back

Watched the sun sink from the top of a hill

There are still leaves falling. Give it a week & I think they’ll all be on the ground.

A break in the rain saw me do a walk along the beach while I waited for Sades to be done at a birthday party. Parts of the beach were waist-deep in seaweed.

After days of rain, the Swan River was looking brown & glassy. The birds were thermoregulating, which always makes me smile.

This month’s phone screen saver. Digital collaging is so fun, I’m going to try some real-life stuff soon.

Food & nature seem to be the theme of June, & you can’t be mad about that. I’m hoping this period of melancholy lifts soon, but you know what? I’m sorta in the mood to wallow right now. I feel like too often we push ourselves to jolly along as quickly as possible, I know I do, but maybe we need time to wallow & process, to let the low feelings make their own way out. I’m giving myself some time to do that, but I also know myself well enough that if I’m not back to being my zippy, cheerful self in a week or so, I need to do a little recalibration to help myself along. One good thing about being 47 is you know yourself pretty well by now.

How was your June, friends? If you look or think back, did it have a theme? What do you do when you're having a bit of a low period? Is there a surefire way of getting you back to your normal self? Do tell.

Talk soon xx

Hi friends! I am presuming that most of you who frequent this place live in Australia, maybe New Zealand (hi Julie!), so we are in our first weeks of winter. I live south east of Perth in WA & let me tell you, it has gotten cold FAST! The fire is on every night, I am living in layers & meals are very much leaning towards the heavier kind.

I love winter because it is truly a reprieve after the very long, very dry & very hot summers we have here in WA. It is not unusual for us to have anywhere from 0 to a few millimetres of rain from November to March. The days steadily climb to the high 30s, then the low 40s & stay there for months. By the time April rolls around, I am DESPERATE for chilly winter days & nights.

I love hearing how other people lean into the seasons. I love a seasonal reset, a seasonal curriculum, a list of books or movies that suit the season & of course, give me link after link of winter recipes, please. Tell me how you’re making a season cosier, more whimsical & what is on your bucket list/ bingo card for the coming months. I may not cook the recipes or read the books, but I sure do love to read about them.

When I went looking on Substack for these kinds of posts, I found very little relating to winter. There are lots for Autumn & the Summer ones are coming in thick & fast, but not many for Winter. Maybe it was me & my search terms, but the Substack search bar is pretty darn useless. So here I am, writing my own, to share with you. I hope you like it.

Let’s start with choosing a theme for the season. My default life theme is “ Cosy Homebody”, which is absolutely perfect for winter, but I thought a little more about what could make the season a little different to my everyday life & came up with “ A Soft Winter”. What do I mean by this? Well, it very much leans towards cosy but also small pleasures over big plans, very low stakes, more noticing & delight over hurrying & productivity. Does that make sense?

I will always watch more television during the colder months. Last week I began watching an episode or 2 of Dowton Abby on the weekends. I’ve never seen it & it feels very low stakes while also being very nice to look at. At night, Tim has been watching Open All Hours (we cancelled one of our streamers & got BritBox instead), a show made in the 70s & 80s, which is a lovely time capsule & a bit funny. I like the nostalgia of both these shows. Nostalgic TV & movies feel soft & cosy, don’t you think?

I also love the idea of having a movie list to get through, so I am going to keep making my way through Sandra Bullock & Ryan Gosling movies. I have them written in my journal (of course I do! I also have a Winona Ryder list & Robert Patterson list) & cross them off once I’ve watched them. You might like to make a list of your favourite actresses or actors, or maybe your favourite director, & watch them all too.

Winter needs a project, so I’ve decided on a new blanket that is repetitive but not my usual granny stitch. Now that I’ve got the hang of the pattern, it is pretty low effort. I’m going to do it all in one colour too, so there is no fiddling with switching coloured yarn. Crocheting by the fire while half watching a show is one of my favourite things to do in winter. The pattern I am using is here if you are interested in crocheting a blanket over winter, too.

I made a list of little local adventures I can do with the family or with friends, even on my own if nobody is keen-

Little Local Adventure Ideas

Try a new small-town bakery

Walk on the beach

Explore a small town we’ve driven through but never stopped in

Visit a waterfall after heavy rain

Take a scenic drive through the hills

Watch the sunrise once this winter

Visit a market I’ve never been to

And then I thought about how to make being at home just a little cosier. Here’s what I came up with-

Homey Winter Things

Have a nighttime drink. I am going to try & like tea for the 17th time this winter & make it my after-dinner ritual. I don’t drink any hot drinks (or alcohol), but I keep trying in case one day I suddenly like them (the hot drinks, not alcohol, Ive not drunk alcohol for more than a decade!). I want a seasonal drink, goddamn it!

Make soup and fresh bread every week. This is my favourite soup, the only change I make is adding tiny pasta because that’s how I made a different tomato & lentil soup for decades. This is my favourite easy bread for when I am not on a sourdough jag.

Have a winter shutdown routine. I started doing this this week. It means the fire is lit as soon as I get home from work, the blinds are closed before 5 pm, and the oil burner or candle is on. I love this essential oil for evenings & this candle is my winter choice this year.

Start a “Winter Delights” photo album on my phone. I am in love with mist rolling over the fields or hills, the dew on plants, the wattle blooming, and smoke wafting from people’s chimneys. I want to take more photos of the season around me.

Have fresh flowers more often. Soon my jonquils & daffodils will burst into life & every few days I’ll cut a few stems to bring indoors. My new Gardenias still have buds, so I am cutting them whenever I can & the room fills with their gorgeous scent. If there’s nothing in the garden, I’ll treat myself to cheap bunches from the weekend markets.

Burp the house often, even if it’s chilly. I crave fresh air in winter if the house has been closed up for too long, so this German ritual makes it sound a bit more fun than just airing out the house.

Weekend baked desserts. We are a dessert household. There is always some kind of little treat to have after dinner, but rarely is it something warm. This winter I am going to bake a dessert-style treat, think self-saucing puddings, apple crumble, cookies straight out of the oven or microwave smores (we get arrowroot or hobnob biscuits, put a chocolate melt button on top, then a marshmellow, microwave for about 15-20 seonds then add another biscuit on top. My kids love them!) on a Saturday & hopefully have enough for Sunday night too. In summer, I have the Summertime funtime fridge/freezer. Winter, I am going to have baked goods every week! Oh, & a jar filled with mini chocolate bars just for good measure.

I did think about having a winter reading list, but I am far too much of a mood reader to stick to a list. Last winter, I made the list below & I only read two books from it! Oops! Maybe I’ll try again this year. I do love the idea of having a big, hefty book or new series to keep me going through the cold months. Any suggestions?

Of course, we need to think about some delicious, warming & comforting meals to have during these hibernation months too, right? I know that curry, stews & pasta will be regulars on my meal plans. And maybe it’s time to switch out cold cereal for something warm in the mornings, too. Lately, when I see a recipe online that I think I might want to try, I print it out straight away instead of pinning it to my boards. I’m gathering a lovely little stack of things to try. Here are a few that maybe you’d like to try too.

Hearty Chicken & Vegetable Soup sounds good.

I’ve already made this Chicken & Dumplings, and it was great!

Pie & winter go hand in hand, right?

I cannot wait to try this Singapore Noodle dish. Fun fact, I once worked in a Chinese all-you-can-eat restaurant at the local bowling club back in my hometown, & every night we could take leftovers home, I ALWAYS chose the Singapore Noodles.

I made this beef stew last winter & it was a hit so it’s back this season.

Lasagne (NYT gift link) keeps going on my meal plan, but usually gets bumped off due to lack of time. I am determined to make this recipe before the end of winter!

I love baked oatmeal (NYT gift link), so I’m going to see if this one is better than my usual recipe.

These sheet pan burritos look so good.

I am actually terrible at writing these super-useful posts you see all about. This really isn’t much of a guide at all. I mostly end up writing like most in the hopes that you might also like some of the ideas I share or that they spark an idea for you. Anyway, just know that I enjoyed writing this & because I feel like my own Substack feed is dominated by northern hemisphere writers sharing Summer things, I’d love for you to share this post so any Southern Hemisphere peeps might find it & think “Hooray, something I can relate to right now! But only if you want to! Or if you enjoyed it! Urgh, I feel weird asking you to share my writing. I am not at all trying to get more subscribers, I really think it would be nice to see more Aussies & NZ writers on here so we can find people living in the same season as us!

Let me know if you have a winter plan, curriculum, reading list, craft project or favourite recipe. Share any Substack posts that talk about winter living in the southern hemisphere, too. You know I love that kind of stuff.

Talk soon xx

P.S I’ve recently become a paid subscriber to Sonya’s wonderful Substack & have 2 free 1-month subscriptions left to give away. If you’d like one, DM me your email address & I’ll send you one.

Friends, if you’ve known me for any amount of time, you will know that since 2014, I have been trying to sort out my relationship with social media. That year, I started a blog a few months after having my 4th baby, 12 months after my 3rd baby, while my husband worked a 4:1 FIFO job. I felt like the internet was my lifeline, especially blogs & Instagram. I had joined Facebook in 2007 & Instagram in 2011 & thought they were great! I loved hanging out there until I didn’t.

I can’t remember what the catalyst was in Decemeber of 2014, but whatever it was led me to delete both social media accounts. At first, I just logged out, but within a month, I wanted them gone for good, so I properly deleted them. Hundreds of photos & around 1500 followers, gone. And I was happy. But after about 18 months, I wanted Instagram back. I felt like I was missing out on something. I created a new account & for the next 10 years, every December, I have logged out of Instagram for anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months. I think I’ve created & deleted at least 2 Instagram accounts, abandoned others every time I get overwhelmed & hate how attached I get to my phone & these apps.

To be honest, it’s always Instagram I get most attached to. I had to create a Facebook account so I could use Messenger when my youngest kids started playing sports, because that’s how teams & associations mainly communicate, but Facebook never got hold of me like it once had. I can go weeks without looking at it, & when I do, it’s mainly family I see posting. As horrible as it to say, I am not interested enough to scroll on Facebook. When I joined Substack a few years back, I noticed I really got addicted to scrolling notes. People like to pretend Substack isn’t like other social media but it’s still social media & can still capture your attention for long periods of time. I am who these addictive apps are made for, and I fall for them every time!

I have tried so many things over the years to curb my addiction to the apps. I’ve deleted them. Set screen time limits. I turned my greyscale on. Set shortcuts so my phone would warn me not to go there anytime I clicked on certain apps. I turned all notifications off. I had certain days when I could check them. I created so many rules for myself. I have tied myself in knots trying to figure out how not to look at these things every time I have a spare moment, feel bored, feel sad, feel like I want out of the moment I am in. And it wasn’t just the apps, there are certain websites & news sites I would click into too just for a distraction!

In December, I ordered a Locked device, determined it would be the answer to my problem. It sat in my desk drawer until I set it up in March. Then I started “locking” my most distracting apps & websites for a few hours every day or so. When the Easter long weekend rolled around, I thought I would lock all the distracting things on my phone for those 4 days, have a little mini break from scrolling. Well, friends, as of when I am writing this ( Monday, June 8th), those 4 days have now rolled into 1535 hours & 35 minutes, which equals close to 64 days of not scrolling on my phone!!!!

I cannot tell you how good it feels to know that if I pick my phone up looking for a distraction, which I still sometimes do, all I will find is my emails & a bunch of apps related to life admin ( think my kids’ schools & sports apps, library catalogues, gym stuff, work stuff, grocery shopping, banking BORING STUFF!!). Nothing on my phone can lead to the scroll holes I used to find myself in. It’s a total game-changer.

Because here is what I know for sure- it’s not the internet that is my problem, it’s my phone. The phone makes the internet too easy for me. I get lost in my phone any time I answer a text or email. I know I can’t be the only one who picks their phone up to reply to a message then finds they click on their emails, then their socials, then you check the news, maybe the weather app & before you know it you’ve lost maybe 20 minutes. And if I am to get totally real, there have been times where I will scroll on my phone for literal hours on a Friday night because I sit down for what I think will be a quick look at instagram but before I know I get stuck in a scroll hole & can’t find my way out.

What I’ve also done is given my laptop a home. My laptop is now like a family computer; it stays plugged in on my desk ALWAYS. I don’t move it to the lounge because that equals a scroll hole. I definitely don’t take it to bed because of the scroll hole I would land in. One night, I did take it to the dining room table because my husband & I were trying to figure out some business stuff & we needed more space than my desk has. Another night, I moved it from my desk in the reading room to the coffee table in the reading room so I could watch a show while I crocheted on the lounge. But it went straight back to my desk. This feels good to me.

I still look at the stuff I enjoy on my laptop, but I do it at my desk & something about being at my desk stops me from staying too long on the internet. I do a quick browse of places, mostly when I am eating breakfast or when I get home from work & then I’m done. It also helps that I constantly snooze suggested posts on Instagram so I see only who I follow, & I’ve switched off my watch history on YouTube, so the only thing to look at there are channels I subscribe to. By doing that, it gives me an endpoint of things to see, and it stops the endless scroll. I can honestly look at Instagram for 5 minutes & be done with all new posts & stories. That’s a good thing!

A lovely side effect is that when you start checking things less frequently, you crave them less. And then when you do look at whatever it is, you start realising it’s all a bit pointless & boring. When I had access to Instagram or YouTube on my phone, I would check them at least 10 times a day, even if it was just for a few minutes, I would always pick up my phone wanting a fast distraction. That was not a good thing for me. It made me feel crappy, like I was wasting so much time

In the last 64days, I have read & listened to 18 books. I have done 4 puzzles. I have coloured in multiple pages of a cute colouring book my daughter gave me. I’ve been out in my garden. I’ve written page upon page in my journal. I’ve started crocheting a new blanket (for who I’m yet to decide). My nervous system feels calm. I feel like I can distinguish my own thoughts, opinions & taste better than I have in a long time because I am not being bombarded by other people’s every time I pick up my phone.

I think every time in the past when I have tried to fix my broken relationship with the internet, I have blamed myself & then blamed the internet. But now that I know it’s the ease of my phone I’m addicted too I’ve found a really simple solution that works for me. I bet if I could measure the amount of time I spend on the internet now compared to when I had access to everything on my phone, it would be down by 75%, I’m not even joking.

I don’t want to be off the internet. I love pop culture. I love being in the loop. I love being sent funny memes. I love reading interesting stories. I love making cute collages on Pinterest. I love blog posts about ordinary people living ordinary lives. I love being able to find the answers to my kids’ high school homework questions. I love going on a recipe search. I love so much about the internet. What I didn’t love was how I was interacting with it & how that made me feel. And after 12 years, I think I finally found something that is working. Thank goodness!!!

So there you go. That is how I finally got off my phone & found a better relationship with the internet. I can say I am so much happier now that I have a handle on it. This feels like the most balanced & easy way for me to keep things in check. And my relationship with the internet & especially social media is something I always want to be mindful of. It’s too easy to say “oh this is just the way of the world now & aren’t we all addicted to our phones?” & lose our lives & attention spans to our screens. That’s not how I am choosing to live.

And I would absolutely recommend getting a Locked device or something similar for your phone. I think we’ve all convinced ourselves we have to have access to everything all the time, but we really don’t. Often I am sent links to things on social media via WhatsApp or messenger, & yeah, sometimes its annoying to not be able to see them until I am home on my laptop, but it really doesn’t matter, nothing is urgent or really important. I think blocking the things you find most distracting PERMANENTLY is totally worth it!!! Don’t dilly dally around with locking then unlocking, just keep them locked.

I’d love to hear how you feel about your phone & the internet at the moment because I absolutely cannot be the only person who has struggled so hard with it.

Talk soon xx

Hey friends. I am going to share some thoughts I am still untangling, & I know the professional writers say “write from a scar, not a wound,” so lucky I am not a professional writer & am instead an oversharer who figures out her thoughts by writing them down & sharing them with you.

As you may remember, recently I was diagnosed with OCD intrusive thoughts. The diagnosis was quite the shock for me, but a few people close to me were not shocked at all. I think they see me as someone with quite obvious OCD tendencies, but very few people know my intrusive thought loops. Why would they? I know I sound batshit crazy when I say it, so I mostly keep it to myself & until recently have always viewed them as anxiety.

It is SO exhausting having the same thought loop over & over & over in your head. Because it is constant, you can’t possibly believe it’s not true, because if you hear something daily for long enough, of course, it must be true! Why would your brain keep telling you these things if they aren’t true & make you scared?

One of my intrusive thoughts is that my family will die every time they leave the house. My brain then plays the movie in my head of what that looks like until I am crying because it’s like I have just lived through one of their funerals & have seen what my life looks like without them. Fun huh?! Another is that every time I hear a siren, I need to text anyone who isn’t in the house to make sure the siren isn’t coming for them, because my brain instantly thinks, OF COURSE that siren is for them! They are hurt or dead!

I would text my eldest kids “alove or dead” & my eldest would always text back “dead”. That child (now adult) is a goddamn joy.

Obviously, I have had therapy for this & I have been medicated for around 4 years now, maybe more, because when peri started to ramp up, so did these thought loops. Therapy helped a little, but medication has been a godsend.

It wasn’t until my current therapist tested me & said, “Oh, I think this is the piece we have been missing in your eating & body issues. I think it all links in with OCD” I was able to start seeing the looping thoughts I have about my body & food, the same way I see the thoughts about my family dying every time they leave the house. They aren’t true; they are intrusive.

This is a process & I am still unsure if I will ever be OK with my body, but being able to frame thoughts such as “I need to lose weight because I am unattractive at this size”, “I hate my body because it is not small” & “People must look at me & think I are unhealthy & lazy because I am not thin” as intrusive thoughts is helping me not to spiral into compulsive behaviours.

In the past, when these thoughts pop up, I have almost always turned to restricting my food as a way to shut them up. Shrinking my body was the answer to not having those thoughts. I had been in therapy for around 6 months, trying to sort out the absolute bullshit way my brain talks to me about my body & how I feel about myself, when my therapist diagnosed me with OCD. I didn’t know there was more than one kind of OCD. I didn’t know that these thoughts could be seen as intrusive & just not truths. I didn’t know they could be looked at as obsessions & not just the way I was programmed to think. He explained to me how I have thought action fusion, where you believe thoughts & actions are more connected than they actually are, not just around my body & food, but around a lot of things.

It was a lot to take in.

I am a Gen X woman. I grew up in the magazine era, the era where models were teeny tiny, and diet culture was the norm. I have internalised so much nonsense around my body, weight, size & shape that I can barely see or think straight. I have had multiple eating disorders since the age of 15. I have dieted & starved myself. I have exercised until I was crying with frustration. I have learned about nutrition, protein, fibre & calories. I have dressed up restricting my food intake as looking after my health. I have put all my worth in the number on the scale, the size of my pants & the flatness of my stomach. I have joined weight loss plans & starved myself all in the hope that I would eventually like my body. And despite it all, the voice in my head, the one I call Becky, still tells me it’s not enough. I am not enough because I don’t have the “perfect body”.

I am a rational person. I know health comes in every size. I know women’s clothing sizes are all over the place. I know that the size of my stomach & arse does not correlate to who I am as a person. But that does not stop the looping thought that I need to be smaller, leaner, thinner than I am. The only way to shut that thought down is to restrict my food intake, to try & change my body ( AGAIN!) & be as small as possible.

For a long time now, I thought I enjoyed the control & boundaries restricting food gives me, but now I’m starting to wonder if it’s actually the quiet in my brain I enjoy. Every time I joined a new round of Weight Watchers or joined some new weight-loss program, Becky’s voice got quieter & my god, do I love it when that bitch is quiet. The food restriction is my compulsion to stop the obsessing.

Lately, when Becky pipes up with one of her “you need to lose weight, you are so fat”, instead of believing her & figuring out ways to cut my food intake or devising new rules around what I can & can’t eat, I say “This is an intrusive thought & it is not true”. When Becky says, “It’s so embarrassing that you are this size, everyone must look at you & think you are a lazy slob”, I tell myself that I am having an intrusive thought & do not need to believe it or act on it. Everything Becky has to say is intrusive. She is the worst.

Does it always work? No. I have been listening to Becky’s voice come at me for 32 years; she is hard to fight. But I am getting SO good at not falling into the trap of believing what my head is telling me, not just with Becky but also when it tries to tell me that my family will die in a car crash every time they leave the house without me.

I know I have so much more work to do & my therapist has warned me that ERP therapy is really hard. But you know what else is hard? Playing out your family’s funerals when your head tells you they will die any time they leave the house & believing I need to constantly be trying to shrink my body to appease the voice in my head. So when I have to pick my hard, I pick doing the hard work with my therapist.

Ah. That was really cathartic for me. Is the internet always the right place to share these things? Maybe not, but I have been writing on the internet for a while now, one thing I know for sure is that there is almost always someone who will read your words & feel not so alone. I know I feel less alone for sharing.

Talk soon xx

I think ten books in a month may be a record for me, & you know what? Choosing books over any other form of entertainment is perfect for me. It makes me calmer, helps settle my nervous system & genuinely makes me happier. Books forever!

OK, let’s dive in.

Book 1-Beth O’Leary’s new book, The Name Game. 3 stars. Physical Book

Nothing wrong with this book, I liked it, but nothing to rave about either. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad book; it was fine. Would I urge you to read it? No, but I also wouldn’t tell it was a waste of time.

Book 2- Janet Gover The Knitting Club at Wagtail Ridge. 3 stars. Audiobook.

This was my bedtime listen. It’s a rural romance kind of thing. These types of stories are my comfort reads. I know what I am getting & that’s the whole point.

Book 3- Carley Fortune’s new book, Our Perfect Storm. 5 stars. Physical Book.

I read my first Carley Fortune book a year or so ago & she instantly became an autobuy author for me. I think she writes near-perfect romance books. I loved this book.

Book 4- Caro Claire Burke, Yesteryear. 5 stars. Audiobook.

The buzziest book of the year so far & I inhaled it in less than 24 hours, towards the end I was listening on 2.3 speed (I’m usually at 1.75-2 speed listener) because I just HAD to know what the hell was going on. I went into this book expecting one thing, & it ended up being nothing as I expected. I had one friend who didn’t like & another who loved, which is fun because it leads to interesting discussions. I say give it a go.

Book 5- Penny Moodie, The Joy Thief. No rating. Ebook.

After I was diagnosed with OCD, my friend Honae sent me some podcast recs along with this book. It gave me a clearer insight into people living with different types of OCD, even if it didn’t always align with my own (new) experience of understanding my own OCD. Lots of good information sprinkled throughout the book, along with Penny’s own story. I choose not to rate biographical/autobiographical/non-fiction these days, hence no rating.

Book 6- Frances Whiting, The Nocturnal. 5 stars. Physical Book.

I loved this book. It has everything I adore in a story- high school friends, romance, multiple storylines, and a small amount of magical realism right at the end. I have zero negative things to say about this book; I loved it that much. Go read it!

Book 7- Lily King, Heart the Lover. 4 stars. Audiobook.

A few people have told me to read this, & I did try a while back, but wasn’t in the mood for this type of book (literary fiction) at the time. But May must have been the right time because when I borrowed it on BorrowBox this time round, I inhaled it & again, I finished it in around 24 hours. Literary fiction can be hit or miss for me, & you can see I didn’t give it 5 stars, but I still really liked it & will read more of Lilly’s work based on this book.

Book 8- Sarah Walker, The Water Takes. 4 stars. Audiobook.

I borrowed this from the library, but when I noticed it was also available on BorrowBox, I thought I would read & listen to it, but the narrator of the audiobook (again, I think I listened on 2 speed because it was too slow for me at any other speed) was SO good I ended up only listening & not reading my physical copy at all. This is a strange book because you never really know what is happening, & I found the ending very unfulfilling, hence the 4 stars. There were times during the book where I actually laughed out loud at some of the lines, & the I really liked the two main characters, especially Pam, a widow in her mid 70’s, but like I said, the ending left me wanting more. That is a flaw of mine as a reader; I do like things to be tied up neatly at the end of a story. I would recommend this book, especially as an audiobook, purely for Pam & some of the things she says & thinks. It was great.

Book 9- Elizabeth Strout, The Things We Never Say. 5 stars. Audiobook.

Some of you may remember I went on a big Strout reading binge last year (or was it 2024….), listening to all 5 of the Lucy Barton books one after the other. I adored those books & I often think about re-listening to them as I found them so incredibly comforting, so of course I jumped on this book as soon as I could. I loved it. It was narrated perfectly & tells the type of story I am so fond of- an ordinary person living an ordinary life in a way that makes you feel more human & connected to people.

Book 10- Elle Kennedy, The Goal. 2 stars. Ebook.

I read two books in the Off-Campus series a year or two ago & liked them just fine. I am not above reading smutty college sports romance, when done well, they are super fun to read, but this one was just not it for me. After watching the TV adaptation of the books, I thought maybe I should revisit the series & now I wish I hadn’t. Let me just say, watch the show, it’s a good time, but don’t waste your time on the books. In this case, the show is MUCH better than the books.

As you can see, I rate books purely on vibes & feelings. There is no real system; it’s just how I feel as I finish the book, so take my ratings & thoughts with a grain of salt. I do recommend downloading BorrowBox & Libby so you can borrow ebooks & audiobooks using your library card. And if you have a Kobo ereader, you can borrow books from your library on that, too. Yay for local libraries!

What did you read in May?

Talk soon xx

The skies have been mostly blue, the days mild, the nights & mornings cool, sometimes with lovely fog hanging around. We had a few grey days & a little rain. The sunsets, as always, have been stunning!

It’s felt like quite the month. Our girl turned 12. We decided to change schools for Blake. We’ve been mulling over finances & when to make a big decision. I changed up my workout schedule, & each Saturday you’ll find me on the sideline of the netball court cheering Sadie’s team on. I spent a Friday afternoon helping my lifelong friend Amy organise her pantry, which then inspired her to do her fridge. It was such a fun time! I’ve pottered a bit more in the garden, gone for more outdoor walks & genuinely felt pretty bloody good within myself. It’s a nice little life I have here.

I switched out jigsaws for colouring in this month. I find it so relaxing to choose colours & then watch the ink fill the page. Most nights, I retreat to my desk & colour a page or two in a colouring book, one of Sadie’s that she said I could use. I either play a chatty YouTube video, but mostly I listen to an audiobook. Some nights, if it’s been a very busy day, I colour in silence. My desk in the “reading room” really has become my favourite place to be.

I’ve read A LOT of books this month & most have been excellent. What an absolute joy it is to read books that you cannot wait to pick up or struggle to put down. I will give you a full rundown in a separate post ASAP

I have not watched much this month except for our nightly date with Tipping Point Australia. Watching things is not my first choice when it comes to downtime. I have, however, inadvertently watched some shows that Tim has had on when I get into bed. Should I Marry a Murderer on Netflix was interesting; the rest are not worth mentioning. I did watch Off Campus because my friend Elinore told me it’s good & I should. She was right & I binged all 8 episodes in a day. It’s another show based on a widely popular book series. I read a couple of the books a while back & as with Heated Rivalry, I think the show is better than the books. Oh, I did tick a Sandra Bullock movie off my list- Force of Nature. I like her so much & this was a nice little 90’s romcom.

I also took my movie-buff client to watch two movies at the cinema- Michael & The Devil Wears Prada. I know Michael Jackson is seriously problematic, & I would not have paid to see this movie, which makes it really hard to admit I did like this movie….please don’t hate me! The songs are still a total bop & it’s hard to stop your body from moving when they come on. The Devil Wears Prada felt about the same level of goodness to me as the original. Fun & watchable but nothing groundbreaking.

The songs I have on repeat this month are Storm 1 & Storm 2 by Gener8ion & Yung Lean. The film clip, which is about 8 minutes long, is great because it’s both songs together. The choreography from about 4:34 minutes is incredible. I’ve watched it so many times. Apparently, it was a lot of the dancers’ first professional gig, which is amazing!

Of course, I adore OR’s new song, The Cure & the film clip is great too. The girl can do no wrong in my book

Also in my ears this month has been the very excellent podcast series by Annabell Crabb called History or Hoarding about the New South Wales State Library. Very informative but also super enjoyable.

During May, I decided to really hone in on my grocery budget & play the rewards game HARD. Woollies was offering me 18000 (that’s $90 banked for Christmas!) reward points if I spent 210 each week during May. Then a new Woolworths opened up close to home, offering you $15 off every time you spent over $100 in the new store. Friends, during May, I saved $85 with the new store discount, I got my 18k rewards points plus with all the other bonus points offers going on, and banked another $30 for Christmas, taking my total to $120. And because I was so intent on milking the system as much as I could without overspending, I pretty much spent no more than $300 a week on groceries, $100 a week less than what I normally allow myself!! What a win!!

I’ve also been making these cookies & this slice on repeat all month. I’ve made a few loaves of this bread & gave this pie a go. It was nice, but I think it needed a little more flavour, so I will tweak it next time.I stocked the freezer with my favourite vegetarian sausage rolls. This korma curry paste (the one I shared I had made last month) has been a real hit with the fam, & instead of making big naan like I normally do, I’ve been using leftover gozleme dough from our Friday night gozlemes to make little bite-sized naans. I can’t tell you how good it feels to make a dinner that pleases everyone, so rare in my house!

I’ve decided on a winter uniform too. During the week, it’s active wear because I am back to walking most days with my clients, plus we do yoga on Mondays & Fridays, & I am now going to the gym in between work & school pick up. I know active wear is boring, but it just makes sense. And when you’re a round little person like me, it’s also comfy. Most weekends it’s some version of soft pants & button down top with sneakers or Converse, Birks, if it’s warm enough. Having a uniform takes one decision off my plate each day & I like that.

All my socials have stayed blocked on my phone thanks to my trusty Locked device. There have been no scroll holes this month & that is a very good thing for me. I have come to realise that I do not do well when I am shown too many opinions & strident ideas about how we should live, what we should eat, how we should move or how we should feel about things. Substack Notes is actually the worst for this IMO. I much prefer a chatty blog post or substack where the writer shares about their life, books or creative pursuits. I am also a sucker for a link list.

I am much better off being left to my own devices. I do still click over to Instagram most days, but it rarely takes me longer than 10 minutes to look at everything in my feed & that feels like the right amount of time I should spend on social media. It feels like I am getting to know myself again.

And that is May. The last week of May doesn’t have much booked in. I’ll be organising Blake’s new school, going to the orthodontist with him & I have a Costco date booked with Amy for after work one day. I also have a fitness assessment booked with one of the new PTs at my gym ( I won that & two free sessions with her). I’m a bit nervous because I think I’m fit, but am I!?

Next weekend is a long weekend here in Perth & it is supposed to rain, which I think will be glorious. I’m thinking we’ll have the fire on, eat yummy food, maybe some scones & be cosy at home. We have some shelves to put up & maybe I’ll even show you the reading room! Oh, the bathroom reno is finished & my gosh, it’s BEAUTIFUL!

I’ll see you later in the week with all my May books- it’s a lot!

Talk soon xx

Hi friends. It feels nice to sit down & write something other than my monthly catch-up (I’ll still be doing that at the end of May!). I’ve been keeping much (all) of my brain dumps & emotional shuffling in my journal the last month or two, & that feels right, but this topic, achievement versus alignment, is something I thought maybe we could chat about.

Earlier this week, I was listening to the latest episode of Shailey & Katie’s Lemonade Stand podcast, where they were discussing achievement versus alignment. Podcast host Katie Day, who is a habit coach (stay with me!), says that achievement is usually external, while alignment is deeply internal. Alignment comes from living & making decisions based on our values, while achievement is about external wins. When you are feeling “off” about life, it could be because you aren’t making decisions that align with your values & instead are basing them on achievement or even what you think you should value or achieve.

I won’t lie, friends, this was a HUGE lightbulb moment for me listening to this podcast & I haven’t stopped thinking about it all week.

I have often felt as though I am not achieving all the things society tells me make for a good or successful life. I had kids young (& again when I was older). I married young. I never chased a career. I don’t have a travel bucket list. I don’t love being a mindless consumer (although I do do this when I am not OK & trying to fill a gap). I have many moments in my adult life where I have felt as though I am not doing things “right” because my choices have been different. I have questioned myself so often, wondering why I don’t want what other people want.

And now I can see that I have always chosen alignment over achievement. And that is right for me.

When I was 20 & found out I was pregnant, I was doing a management course. I could have chosen to have an abortion (something many people thought I should have done) & done the course so I had some qualifications. But I always knew I wanted to be a young mum (maybe not 20 but still), so I chose to have the baby with the boy I had only been back in a relationship with for 3 months.

Many times over the years, I have been asked to interview for jobs that would give me a “career”, offer me a step up the ladder, but I have always turned them down because I never wanted to be a full-time working mum. I wanted to pick my kids up from school & be with them as much as possible. So I kept working the casual jobs for minimum wage & kept my hours as close to school hours as I could.

I’ve travelled outside Australia twice, both times in the last 3 years, to New Zealand to see my sister. I’ve seen a lot of Australia, but travel isn’t important to me. Sure, I like a holiday, but I like coming home most of all. I like being home best.

I know we live in a world that wants us to consume 24/7, but for me, I feel best when I consume less. I feel best when I am sticking to my self-imposed budget, when I am not buying for a quick dopamine hit & when I am not constantly consuming content online.

While listening to the podcast, it became clear to me that I prioritise alignment over achievement & suddenly I felt so much better about my life. I didn’t feel like I was failing or being left behind. I didn’t feel like I was making the wrong choices. I felt like I was, & always had been, making choices based on MY values, not on what I thought I should be valuing. And what a relief that is!

There is no wrong choice between achievement and alignment; it all comes down to what feels best for you & how your choices reflect your values. How does your gut feel when you make a decision? I think our bodies can tell us a lot, but often we don’t listen, or choose not to listen. The good thing is, we can almost always make a different choice! We can course-correct if we don’t feel the life we are living is aligned with our values.

Maybe you’ve read this & thought “der Reannon, I already knew this”, or you are someone who has never felt like they are behind in life & questioned their choices. But maybe I’ve just shared something that has made you look at things in a whole new light. I love it when that happens for me. I feel like I am on a lifelong quest to understand & accept myself, & listening to a podcast just helped me do that.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts & feelings on achievement & alignment, I’d love to know what you strive for & why.

Have a good weekend, friends.

Talk soon xx