At the remarkable age of 88, Jane Fonda embodies a steadfast defiance against societal stereotypes of ageing, proving that age is no barrier to vitality or relevance.

In her own words…

“You know, you can be really old at 60, and you can be really young at 85.”

As an acclaimed actress, fervent activist, and fitness guru who, in the 1980s, turned dance aerobics into a global movement, Jane’s words are a clarion call to dismantle ageist stereotypes and redefine what it means to age. They are a powerful reminder to live life with vibrancy and purpose, regardless of our chronological age, with nothing more than a positive mindset.

The Formative Years of a Cultural Icon.

Jane Seymour Fonda was born in 1937 to the legendary American actor Henry Fonda and the Canadian-born socialite Frances Ford Seymour, who tragically took her own life when Jane was just 12.

The impact of her mother’s death at such a tender age left an indelible impression on Jane, influencing her in ways both evident and subtle. An often distant and complex relationship with her father in the absence of her mother, Jane has spoken openly of intimacy as her greatest fear, a lasting legacy of those formative years.

For Jane, a career that has spanned over five decades might have seemed inevitable. In her own right, she is an accomplished actress with stand-out films like They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, Klute, and Coming Home—the latter two garnering her Oscar wins for Best Actress. Memorable comedic roles, such as her performance in the 1967 hit “Barefoot in the Park” alongside Robert Redford, showcase her versatility.

Yet, despite her many achievements on the screen, Jane’s activism for the causes closest to her heart is at the centre of everything she does.

Behind the Screen: Activism to Activewear.

But to define Jane merely by her acting chops would be to ignore the multi-dimensions of this incredible woman.

Jane epitomises what it means to be a multi-hyphenate woman, leveraging her acting and celebrity status to fund her one true passion, activism, which started during the Vietnam War in the 1970s.

Her business venture, “The Jane Fonda Workout,” remains among the highest-selling home videos. This project was initiated not just for fitness and health but to fund the Campaign for Economic Democracy (CED), a non-profit organisation she ran alongside her second husband, Tom Hayden and underscores her commitment to activism.

The Third Act: Becoming Whole.

In 1990, shortly after her marriage to Tom Hayden ended, Jane Fonda met entertainment mogul Ted Turner. They married in December 1991, embarking on a decade-long union until 2001; with the end of this, her third marriage and entering her 60s, it was to be the beginning of what Jane calls her “third act” – a time of reflection and introspection, which led to her autobiography, “My Life So Far.”

Looking back over her life gave her clarity on how she wanted to live out the next life chapter. This era emerged as a defining moment in her life, leading to a phase where, unencumbered at 62, she describes herself as finally feeling whole.

Jane’s views on ageing are as enlightening as her life is inspiring: “I’m not afraid of ageing. I’m more afraid of people’s reactions to my ageing.”

She champions the idea that it’s never too late for any endeavour in life: “It’s never too late – never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.”

Her philosophy extends to embracing one’s whole self: “The challenge is not to be perfect… It’s to be whole.”

On embracing change, she observes, “If you allow yourself, you can become stronger in the very places that you’ve been broken.”

Jane’s appreciation for life deepens with age: “With age, I’m able to appreciate the beauty in small things more than when I was younger, perhaps because I pay attention more.”

Her resilience shines through her advice: “You can do one of two things: just shut down and surrender, or you can get angry and fight back. I chose to fight back. And that’s because I know the measure of who I am.”

On the importance of lifelong learning and curiosity: “Stay curious, keep learning, and keep growing. And always strive to be more interested than interesting.”

And if Jane couldn’t be more, well, Jane, her declaration in the 2022 H&M Move Campaign encapsulates her indomitable spirit: “I’m not stopping. I’m Jane Fonda.”

Indeed, Jane Fonda does not stop – and for that, she serves as a beaming light of inspiration. I love her, and she inspires me daily!

Now, well into her third act, Jane Fonda’s life illustrates that we can write our own stories about how we live and age.

The Power of a Positive Mindset to Ageing.

Jane exemplifies the power of a positive mindset.

Have you ever noticed that some people reach a specific milestone in life and begin to use language that denotes their age?

You’ve no doubt heard it or even said it.

“I’m too old for that, or now that I’m old…” These words start creeping into what we say about ourselves. The thing is, and to drop a well-worn cliché, you’re only as old as you feel.

Yet, when we observe those who defy age stereotypes, like Jane, they offer invaluable lessons on living a full and vibrant life well into old age.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” This holds true for ageing as well. Let’s change that quote to, “Whether you think you’re old or think you’re not, you’re right.”

This attitude, whether we’re conscious of it or not, shapes our experience of ageing. It’s an attitude – a mindset.

Beliefs That Shape Our Attitude.

Sure, your chronological age is a fact. But why do some remain vibrant and healthy at 65 while others succumb to illness, believing it’s all downhill from here?

It’s time to examine your beliefs. They might not be serving you well, and you have the power to change them. Remember, “thoughts are things.” Listen to them long enough, and they become real.

It’s up to you, not what society tells you. Don’t listen, unless of course, it’s Jane Fonda, in which case, pay close attention to this Grand Dame of life.

Looking Beyond the Surface.

We could focus on our well-worn laugh lines, and many of us do obsessively, but ageing is more than skin deep. It’s about how you internalise ageism and let it influence your thinking.

Not everyone can emulate Jane Fonda’s incredible drive, myself included, but we can all draw inspiration from her, choosing health and wellness over a steady decline.

The Role of Wellness in Ageing.

If illness comes knocking, then early detection and treatment are essential. However, our longevity does not hinge solely on the cure-all medication prescribed by healthcare professionals. Instead, it often lies in the holistic steps we take towards maintaining our health.

I’ve written about it extensively in my article: How to Become a Super Ager.

Embracing a lifestyle prioritising wellness can be a powerful approach to nurturing our long-term health and well-being.

Confronting Ageism: A Call to Action.

Don’t be an ageist because that’s what it is, and it’s everywhere. The older you get, the more you realise how much confidence you’ll need to rise above it, including your own attitude.

Even the most enlightened among us fail when it comes to the subconscious beliefs we all hold about ageing.

Despite what the calendar says, how we feel and live beyond our chronological age is mainly in our hands and in our thoughts.

Celebrating Every Year with Optimism and Resilience.

Vibrancy and health at any age come from more than physical well-being; they’re nurtured by a mindset that embraces growth, learning, curiosity, and resilience.

Approach ageing with optimism, defiance, and an open heart. Age, after all, is just a number.

Let’s be like Jane Fonda and celebrate every year for its life-giving potential, wisdom, and healthy longevity.

See you next time.

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Sometimes events in our lives or the wider world make everything we usually fuss and fight about suddenly feel insignificant. These are the moments that level us. And in those moments, the pursuit of looking younger feels frivolous. Trivial. Nothing more than vanity.

But we’re human, and our lived experience matters. You have permission to push back on ageism and that feeling of becoming invisible or losing relevance in the world you inhabit.

Let’s face it, if you spend too much time on social media or in mainstream beauty culture, you could be forgiven for thinking appearance is everything. The relentless parade of filtered perfection, the before-and-afters, the quietly terrifying pressure to be simultaneously natural and flawless. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes it makes me want to turn away entirely, live in a hut in the middle of nowhere. But of course, I’d be scared the bear in the woods would not find me invisible, quite the opposite! So that’s not an option.

But let’s put the brown bear to one side for a moment.

I keep coming back to this: how we feel about our appearance is more connected to our inner world than we may want to admit. Not because beauty is the point, but because how we continue to care for ourselves — beyond the products, beyond the routines — says something about whether we still think we’re worth caring for. And that, more than anything, is where self-care actually begins.

And, you are worth self-care, in whatever form that takes. You can write your own version of what that looks like for you.

The vulnerabilities we wear on our skin

I’ve witnessed the quiet devastation of a teenage girl whose acne is stealing her confidence. The thirty-something woman who hopes her appearance will help her find connection and love. The older woman confronting sun damage she never quite believed would be her reality all those years ago, when she ruthlessly bathed her body in sunshine. And I’ve seen the other side too: the moment someone’s skin begins to glow again, the young man who finally summons the nerve to ask for help with something that’s been bothering him for years, or the skincare product that they secretly never believed would help, and it actually does.

Working in professional skincare offers a window into the fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities we all have. Sometimes it’s genuinely sad. Other times, it’s a brilliant celebration.

On becoming invisible

It’s been said that as women age, we become invisible. What a thing to absorb. Invisible!

Are we really invisible? And if so, invisible to whom, exactly? Do we reach a certain age and somehow forfeit our relevance? It sounds depressing because it is.

And while I can accept the societal vanishing act taking place, it does make me ponder: have we become invisible to ourselves?

Let’s face it, the noise of other people’s opinions, or the definition of what a woman over 50 should look like, has a way of drowning out your own opinion if you let it. Seeing yourself clearly, on your own terms, and building a life that feels relevant, however you choose to live it, might be the most worthwhile pursuit of all.

So why does any of it matter?

I’m not a neuroscientist or a psychologist. And I certainly can’t explain why some of us are resilient, and others are more fragile when it comes to how the world sees us. But I do know this: if you’ve ever spent too much time on a skincare website at midnight, that’s okay. Caring about your appearance is a signal that you still think you’re worth caring for. That’s not vanity. That’s self-love, and before we get all misty-eyed, it’s important, especially as we get older.

Don’t let your imperfections get in the way of your confidence

Maybe you worry about your skin, your body, or becoming invisible as you age. Most of us do. But worry left unchecked has a way of taking up more space than it deserves.

The better investment — and I say this as someone who has spent a career in skincare — is your health. Good food, genuine rest, movement that doesn’t feel like punishment. Do those things consistently, and you will, at any age, begin to feel better about how you look and how you feel in yourself.

Want good skin? Start from the inside. Yes, it’s a cliché. It’s also true. Looking outward for all the answers — the latest serum, treatment, or injectable — will get you results. Good ones, even. But there is no single fix, and there never will be.

That said, buy the serum. Enjoy the ritual. Just don’t hand it all your power.

For me, being invisible doesn’t matter as much as it once did. Now, I really want to see myself as I am and be confident in who that is and care for that person — keep showing up for her, and that’s everything.

So go on then. Go impress the life out of yourself.

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This article is about exfoliants that scrub the skin, and why you should consider your approach to exfoliation. But, before I get to why I constantly crusade against facial scrubs, a story from my youth.

When I was 17, I read somewhere, some little tidbit of advice, that I could smooth away wrinkles by 1) heating the back of a dessert spoon and then 2) proceeding to smooth over any offending wrinkles with said spoon. Violà! Wrinkles Gone!

Clearly, I started raising my eyebrows at life and all its conundrums at quite a young age, hence wrinkles at 17. Even so, I was determined to banish these weird lines that had taken up residence on my forehead.

Okay, laugh away! Compared to the onslaught of skincare marketing to children these days, the idea of me ironing away my fledgling wrinkles seemed perfectly normal, if not absurd. But, in my defence, I was only 17, and Cosmopolitan Magazine was my go-to when it came to beauty advice. But was it really sage advice? Ummmmm, maybe not so much.

In hindsight, of course, this idea was completely BONKERS!!

The advice just kept coming.

The other skin tip that I went at with great abandon was to scrub my skin; the promise of clean, perfect, pimple-free skin was all I needed to hear.

Again. What the hell? Oh, hang on, we all did it, some of us still do. Suddenly, I don’t feel so bad. But, I do feel bad, what seemed okay at 17 now, as a fully grown-up skin therapist, is the kind of advice I find quite disturbing.

If I hear of someone scrubbing their skin to clean it, eliminate blackheads, or get rid of dead skin cells to combat emerging wrinkles, I feel nothing but dismay.

In fact, I feel so bad about it that I’m dedicating this entire post to convincing you and your loved ones to give up the scrub. FOREVER!

Okay, so just to be clear, I’m referring to facial scrubs, and I shall go out on a limb and include facial brushes in my crusade. The skin on the rest of your body can handle a little gentle physical exfoliation (if you must).

Let’s clear out your bathroom cabinet.

The abrasive scrub must go, but first, just in case you think I’m kidding, and your belief is strong. I’m going to tackle a three common myths taking up space in your bathroom cabinet.

Myth #1: Facial scrubs clean your skin and prevent clogged pores.

It’s true; if you have particularly oily skin, then you’ll probably develop clogged pores. This happens when the amount of oil produced by your sebaceous glands is excessive, and the flow of oil to the surface of your skin becomes sluggish, trapping dead cells and clogging the openings of your pores. What you end up with are lumps, bumps and blackheads.

Of course, you don’t want that. Right?

But here’s the thing. Every time you strip the natural oils and lipids from your skin with continuous scrub use, your skin pumps more oil to the surface while becoming increasingly dehydrated from all the scrubbing.

So now, imagine this.

The opening of your follicles begins to fill with dehydrated skin cells, which become trapped. Oil flow becomes restricted, leading to a buildup at the opening of your pore.

Bam! You’ve got yourself more of the problem you were trying to fix. Lumps, bumps and probably blackheads. Of course, all this can occur without your encouragement, and there are ways to prevent it. But why make things worse? Scrubbing will exacerbate the problem. Scrubs are not the solution.

Myth #2: Facial scrubs leave the skin feeling fresh, radiant and glowing.

Sure, for about 30 minutes.

After you’ve scrubbed your skin, you’ll feel tingly and all a-glow. But really? You’ve just stripped your skin, and tomorrow it’ll look dull and lifeless once again.

In your frustration, you’ll do it all again, to get the same tingly fresh feeling and on and on it goes.

What’s happening?

Imagine your skin barrier like a seashell eroded by waves; your skin’s protective barrier weakens over time from scrubbing. This isn’t a glow, it’s damage.

So, now imagine your acid mantle: every day, the delicate lipids and the very structure of your skin, protecting you from the outside world, are being eroded by your scrub.

What you thought was helping is setting you up for a whole new set of problems, such as redness, irritation, and weak, lifeless skin that has lost its ability to function properly and protect you from bacterial invaders.

Not only that, but oily skin will become oilier, more clogged, and definitely out of balance.

There’ll be no glow here. Nope. Sorry.

Myth #3: Facial scrubs remove dead cells to encourage cell renewal.

It’s certainly true that to keep your skin well hydrated and radiant, and keep your skin cells turning over, exfoliation is essential.

It’s just not going to be achieved with facial scrubs. Not now. Not ever!

Sure, you may remove some of the dead cells, but to hope you’ll achieve radiance and luminosity? I’m afraid it’s just not so.

As I’ve already mentioned, you’ll strip the skin, creating dehydration and, even worse, your scrub has haphazardly removed skin cells. Haphazard is not what you should be aiming for.

But it gets worse.

You’ll create micro-tears in your skin. Not the result you want. Do you?

What to do, I hear you say?

Okay, well, first. Go check your bathroom cabinet and remove anything that looks like a facial scrub or brush, unless you want to keep it for your body.

Ditch the Scrubs: A Bold Move Toward Healthier Skin

So what now? What replaces your abrasive scrub or high-tech cleansing brush?

Well, the best way to exfoliate your skin is to look for a liquid serum with exfoliating ingredients such as lactic, glycolic, or salicylic acid. When applied to your skin, these serums and creams will naturally loosen the dead cells that accumulate in your follicles. Your pores will begin to unblock, and the turnover of skin cells will be regulated.

I like to call these formulations liquid or cream exfoliants.

Start with a mild solution and introduce it gradually into your beauty regimen; maybe once or twice a week until it feels comfortable to apply every night. Eventually, your skin will become accustomed to these dead-skin-cell-busting ingredients.

How AHA and BHA Acids Safely Exfoliate Your Skin

They’re by no means new; the first use of lactic, glycolic and salicylic acids dates back to the ‘50s, gaining momentum in the last 20 years, with many cosmeceutical brands creating take-home serum and cream formulations.

Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHA) and Beta Hydroxy Acids (BHA) are two key ingredients that effectively exfoliate the skin.

What to look for?

Alpha Hydroxy Acids.

AHAs are derived from sour milk, sugar cane, apples or grapes, bitter almonds, as well as the herb Centella Asiatica.

BHA, on the other hand, only comes from one source, and that’s salicylic acid, derived from White Willow Bark.

Both AHA and BHA exfoliate the skin, but in slightly different ways.

AHAs are ideal for all skin types, especially dry skin types.

My personal favourite is the AHA known as Lactic Acid. Not only does it remove the dead skin cells from the surface of your skin, but it’s an essential ingredient in stimulating the skin’s Natural Moisturising Factor. How cool is that! You’ll be exfoliating and hydrating simultaneously.

Beta Hydroxy Acid

BHAs are most useful for oily, acne-prone, problematic skin, with a triple action of exfoliation, bacteria control, and inflammation reduction.

Look for serums specifically designed to exfoliate; ideally, your AHA serum should contain 5-10% to be effective, and BHAs should include no more than 2% in your formulation. A sprinkling of these ingredients in your daily moisturiser or BB Cream, although nice, will not be the best approach if you want amazing results.

1. Hydropeptide Liquid Resurfacing Solution

2. Environ Alpha Hydroxy Night Cream

3. Synergie Skin Reveal

Why Skincare Brands Still Produce Facial Scrubs?

Great question. The short answer? Because you want them. Doesn’t mean they’re good for you. They’re not.

And a little disclaimer, even some of the brands that I recommend on this site have exfoliating scrubs in their range, which is frustrating, and I know it seems a bit of a contradiction.

All I can say is, take the good, throw out the not-so-much, and if your favourite brand has a scrub within the range, just skip it. Your money is much better spent on products that do good. That’s all.

Breaking the Habit of Using Scrubs for Healthier Skin

I know for some of you this may be a hard habit to break, but I’ve always promised you the truth in how to care for your skin, so, although a little controversial, taking scrubs out of the bathroom cabinet forever will, I promise, give you much better skin.

And on a personal note, you may feel the same way. How does it do for the planet? Many abrasive scrub granules are made from plastic. Not good. The good news is that many countries around the world are now banning them from cosmetic products. So, if you care about our beautiful planet, then you may also like to read why the microbead has been banned in my article: The Microbead Myth.

If this post has provoked a bit of thought or challenged your long-held beauty beliefs, leave a comment and let’s chat about it.

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See you next time.

How you cleanse your skin often gets pushed to the back of a good skincare routine. Serums have become the thing. You must have serums. If you believe the K-Beauty 10-step routine, then you’re likely drowning in them.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good serum. But seriously, what’s the point if your […]

The post A Cleansing Ritual That Will Transforms Your Skin appeared first on the beauty issue..

So There I Was…

Mouth wide open, clutching and unclutching my hands as my dentist investigated how well I was caring for my teeth. As he poked around, I wished for it to be over.

“Well, there’s a bit of gum recession over here, and that makes the teeth look longer. This happens as we get long in the tooth.”

What? Did he just say, I’m getting long in the tooth? With just enough moments of retreat to allow me to speak, I managed to feign insult and laugh – what else can one do at these moments of vulnerability?

“Well,” replies my dentist, “we’re all getting long in the tooth…”

So, there it was. The truth. I was long in the tooth. No soft landing. Nope. My Star Wars mad dentist had just said it. Should I dare to say, he was far too long in the tooth to have the huge collection of Star Wars action figures dominating the room? No, of course not, I wouldn’t dream of dragging any man away from his childhood nostalgia.

As I walked home, I reflected on how that comment landed. Did it make me angry? Not really. Certainly not at my dentist — he’s actually quite funny and quirky, and I like that about him.

But it’s the same story again and again, one I have to sheepishly admit I failed to fully recognise when I was younger. And therein lies part of the problem.

We’re conditioned to believe that getting older means losing value — that youth equals beauty, and beauty equals worth.

The Sting: When Ageing Lands hard

Holding on to the last remaining delusions of where I’m at in my life stages, he starts the job of cleaning my teeth, praising me on the superb health of my gums. Maybe not so long in the teeth after all!

So, let me ask you? Has this ever happened to you? When someone, well-intentioned or not, blunders in unaware that ageing is a sensitive topic, especially for a woman?

Look, to be fair, I wasn’t looking my best. After all, how does one dress for a dentist’s appointment? Full makeup, coiffed hair, best outfit? Or, pull the hair back and romp down there to get the task done.

These comments have always been there, but now they’ve evolved into reflections on ageing. A lifetime of subtle messages that women receive from a very young age — the constant expectation to stay young, pretty, and pleasing to the eye. Even as I reflect on my own experience as I write, I am aware that I am unconsciously reinforcing this conditioning. I justify the dentist’s comment by saying, “I wasn’t looking my best.” But why should I need to justify it at all? In doing so, I’m reinforcing the idea that a woman’s worth is still tied to her appearance.

Embracing Reality: The Third Act

These little comments pop up more frequently, and they make us face ageing. I know at 65 I’m most definitely in the next stage of life, the third act, as Jane Fonda would say.

So, while these comments have unintended consequences, I think they have a purpose.

I know, I hear you, what possible positive spin can I put on this? Well, I have thought for a very long time that when age creeps up on you, it’s better to be mentally prepared for it. Some do this better than others, but if the waiting rooms of cosmetic clinics worldwide are anything to go by, many of us do not.

I know many might take umbrage at my doctor’s comments, brought to tears even. Lord knows, when I was younger and working as a skin therapist, I wedged my foot firmly in my mouth, more than once or twice…

Having worked in the aesthetics space for quite some time, I’m keenly aware of how desperate women can feel about not looking their age. The hope we place in products and procedures as cure-alls often does little to mentally prepare us for getting older.

In fact, these solutions only reinforce the idea that ageing is something to be fixed, not embraced. But the truth is, it’s not the outward appearance that needs the most attention — it’s our mindset.

The Cost of Denial

But here’s what I think. Or, what I’m telling myself: If you can, let these moments remind you to sit with the reality of ageing, rather than scurrying into denial.

What do you think? Face the inevitable reality of ageing, or live in some happy denial? Is that truly happy? I’m not so sure. What I do know is it’s bloomin’ expensive and exhausting to keep up the facade of youth.

I find myself in this strange juxtaposition. I’ve made my living recommending skincare products and treatments designed to hold back signs of ageing.

And yet, at the same time, I wonder: How much energy do we spend chasing something we can’t outrun?

While a temporary fix, or even a more permanent one like a full facelift, may boost our confidence and make us feel better about ourselves, these solutions do not address the deeper issue — learning to age without shame.

And then I reflect on something Jane Fonda said — and she is no stranger to cosmetic surgery:

“Women are not forgiven for ageing. Robert Redford’s lines of distinction are my old‑age wrinkles.”

The Third Act in Practice

So, for me, the reality of the third act is better served up in little moments, the awareness of how my skin is changing, the loss of volume in the last few years, especially after turning 60, which I have to be honest, did not make me feel happy or confident, but we take the hit, dwell for a bit and then move on.

And, of course, the comments that land with a thud are eventually taken with good humour.

I am not offended by my dentist’s ill-timed comment, one that once would have upset me; now it just amuses me.

As I enter my third act, youth long gone, even menopause is 15 years ago, this is what I know. We can choose to look forward with the ability to laugh at ourselves, to toss back our hair and say, let’s just age naturally, let’s step into a new version of ourselves that is youthful, but not just in our outward appearance but in our attitude, in the jaunt of every step we take, and to forming a different relationship with our body and face.

I still want to look young for my age, of course. I just don’t want to try so hard to look unrealistically younger than I am. It’s far more liberating to embrace our age. And that’s important to me. How about you?

Ageism and Invisibility

So as I reflect on those comments my dentist made. Did the sky fall in? Well, I guess it depends on how I choose to look at it. I’m not so Pollyanna positive that I don’t recognise the damaging consequences of ageism.

If I could change it, I most certainly would.

But, unlike many societal pressures that have been broken, or the minorities that now feel seen, when once they were hidden from view. Ageism will be the last hurdle to jump, if we ever do. We’re just biologically wired not to see people as they age, especially women. There is no doubt that we women become invisible.

What’s the antidote?

Well, as Jane Fonda says, just be fabulous.

Just Be Fabulous?

I love the idea of being fabulous at every age of life. However, it still puts pressure on us to be a certain way to remain visible and unforgettable. And Jane makes it look easy, but to be fair to the rest of us, she has an army of people around her to make her very fabulous. Even so, not to dismiss Jane’s fabulousness, because she really is, regardless of how she looks.

As for my dentist, it really wasn’t about his clumsy words — he stated what he saw. But the moment landed as it did, because somewhere deep inside I heard that familiar message...

You’re no longer relevant, your value is fading, and time is slowly taking you out of the picture. And it immediately triggered a weird shame, a strange vulnerability — I’d been seen for the age that I am.

Of course, my dentist said nothing like that... it was just the conditioned voice in my head.

Next time, I’ll dress up for my dentist and shock him with my remarkable preservation. Oof, I did it again. Old habits die hard.

See you next time,

How you cleanse your skin often gets pushed to the back of a good skincare routine. Serums have become the thing. You must have serums. If you believe the K-Beauty 10-step routine, then you’re likely drowning in them.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good serum. But seriously, what’s the point if your cleansing routine resembles sliding into bed at the end of a long day and waking up with panda eyes?

Of course, I know, you’d never do that. Just sometimes. It’s okay, you’re human, and you were tired last night. I get it.

But hear me out. Cleansing isn’t just about removing the traces of the day — it should be a sacred ritual. Alright, maybe not a spiritual experience that brings you closer to the heavens, but it’s up there with a rock-solid sun protection plan as one of the best things you can do for your skin. Do it properly each night, and you’ll start to see your skin transform. Because cleansing is just as much about what you leave behind as what you seek to wash away.

Proper cleansing is just as much about what you don’t remove as it is about what you do.

Enter the double cleanse.

Ask any beauty therapist, and they’ll tell you: the double cleanse is a skincare technique straight out of beauty school. If you’ve ever had a facial, you’ve experienced it. Your therapist will cleanse your skin at least twice, then gently exfoliate, before proceeding with the rest of the facial.

The first cleanse lifts away the obvious: excess oil, sweat, dirt, pollution, sunscreen, and makeup. The second cleanse restores the delicate balance of the skin’s acid mantle, without stripping it.

A dual cleanse is not just about removal; it’s about restoring balance.

Why does this matter? Because when your skin is balanced, the barrier — made up of lipids, proteins, and water — stays intact. And that barrier is your skin’s front line: locking moisture in and keeping irritants out. When it’s disrupted, everything else is a struggle — hydration, comfort, resilience and the holy grail of skincare, a healthy glow.

Not convinced yet?

Or, you’re convinced but not motivated? Here are four reasons why your cleansing routine should be a ritual worth committing to.

• Proper cleansing means pollutants don’t get left behind. And that’s important, because they contribute to free radical damage — and that’s not a good look.

• It’s not just clean; it’s balanced. And balanced skin equals a stronger barrier. Moisture stays in. Irritants stay out. Your skin feels calm and behaves better.

• Your serums actually work. That little bottle of niacinamide you love? It can do its job properly when your skin is calm, clean, and prepped.

• You stop chasing hydration. If you’re constantly trying to “put moisture back in” with hydrating serums, there’s a good chance your cleansing step is working against you.

Forget the 10-step routine. This is your skincare simplified: just done properly.

So what should you use?

Foaming Cleanser and Lotions

These are typically your go-to for the first step in a double cleanse. If you opt for a foaming cleanser, there are a couple of rules to live by:
a) don’t overdo it, and
b) know your skin type.

Foaming cleansers — especially those that lather heavily — are designed to break down oils. That can be useful, but if your skin isn’t genuinely oily, they might tip the balance too far. In most cases, it’s better to skip them or opt for a very gentle, low-foam option that won’t leave your skin feeling tight.

Cleansing milk lotions, on the other hand, are a safer bet. A well-formulated milk will gently start the cleansing process, lifting away grime and makeup without stripping your skin or disrupting its natural balance.

Once your first cleanse is complete, follow with a cleansing oil or balm — something that nurtures while it cleans.

It’s hard to go past this one for the perfect cleanse:

• Rationale #4 The Cleanser

If you want to do something with a cult-like following, this is the one for you. It will never disappoint and can be used for both the first and second cleanse.

Cleansing Facial Oils:

I’m a big fan of cleansing facial oils — but I know they can be intimidating, especially if you’ve ever struggled with oily or breakout-prone skin. For many, the idea of putting more oil on an already oily face feels like the fast track to clogged pores and chaos.

But here’s the thing: not all oils are created equal. And cleansing oils aren’t designed to stay on the skin — they’re formulated to bind with surface oils, makeup, and debris so they can be rinsed away cleanly, leaving the skin calm, soft, and balanced.

The trick is choosing a well-formulated oil that emulsifies properly and doesn’t contain pore-clogging ingredients. When you do, facial oils can feel surprisingly light and soothing — not greasy. In fact, they often help to reduce that “over-cleansed” tightness that can trigger rebound oiliness.

Here are three I come back to often, and while we can avoid the cult status here, they are worthy of high praise.

• Environ Dual Action Pre-Cleansing Oil

• Ella Baché Floral Oil Face and Body Cleansing Oil

• Aesthetics Rx® Anti-Pollution Facial Cleansing Oil

All are lightweight, rinse clean, and I find them gentle enough to use around the eyes — no sting, no blurry residue. Just clean, comfortable skin.

Cleansing Balms:
A newer addition to the skincare world — or at least, a recent cult favourite — cleansing balms have gained popularity for good reason. Rich and luxurious in texture, they melt into the skin to gently lift away impurities without disrupting your natural barrier. A good balm will break down makeup, sunscreen, and daily grime with ease, all while cushioning the skin in nourishing emollients.

They’re especially helpful if your skin is feeling dry, tight, or compromised — or if you’re looking for a comforting ritual at the end of the day. And unlike some foaming cleansers, they won’t leave your skin feeling squeaky or tight. Think of them as a gentle reset button for stressed skin.

If you have sensitive skin, a balm might be a perfect fit — just be sure to choose one that rinses clean or emulsifies well so there’s no greasy residue left behind.

It’s a Ritual. So Make It So.

For me, a ritual takes place at the bathroom basin — not in the shower. A quick morning cleanse doesn’t need much, but at night, your skin deserves this moment of care.

Step by step:

1. Apply your first cleanser to damp hands. Emulsify it between your fingers, then massage it into your face in gentle upward circles. If you’re wearing heavy eye makeup, consider using a dedicated eye cleanser.

2. Remove the cleanser with a damp face cloth or facial pads. If any residue remains, your second cleanse will remove it.

3. Next, apply your second cleanser — either a balm or oil. Emulsify it first, then massage it in, remove with a damp cloth, and pat your skin dry. You’re ready for your serums and creams.

Tips:

• If you’re opting for a foaming or exfoliating cleanser as your first step, then it’s essential that your second cleanse is a mild lotion, facial oil or cleansing balm.

• Facial cleansing oils or balms can usually double as eye makeup removers.

• Never try to remove cleanser residue by splashing water on your face. This leaves more cleanser behind, which can make your skin feel greasy. Instead, remove everything with a damp cloth or facial sponge.

My Final Thoughts:

Cleansing is more than just cleaning your skin. When done properly, it’s an essential step in maintaining your skin’s health and resilience. It will feel better and perform better. Treat it as a ritual, and you’ll be amazed at how your skin responds and transforms.

See you next time,

When I ponder the case for non-surgical cosmetic treatments like injectables, I often think of celebrities, young and not so young, dissatisfied with their appearance and the less-than-natural results they seem to end up with for all the world to see. When a cosmetic procedure is a little less than subtle, and if you’re a […]

The post The Changing Face of Non-Surgical Cosmetic Treatments appeared first on the beauty issue..

He reluctantly saunters into the waiting room. This will be the twentieth time. For this well-travelled sailor who moonlights as a journalist — or is it the other way around? At this point, it makes no difference; the news is the same.

“Well, John," his doctor mumbles, "it looks like we're going to have to surgically remove another two skin cancers." His tone is as optimistic as the scribbled-out prescription he writes up for another five repeats of a strong topical medication for superficial basal and squamous cell carcinomas.

“Are you serious, Doc?” John looked incredulous. How long was this going to go on for? At 70, with more years of unprotected sun exposure than he’d care to admit, he’d had enough. It's not like his dermatologist hadn't been telling him to, you know — wise up, John.

A white light moment (sans UV)

As he wandered home, deep in thought, skincare popped into his mind; his physiotherapist had mentioned a moisturising cream he used. Maybe I’ll drop by the chemist on the way home; can’t hurt. I’ll give this skincare stuff a go.

What happened in the following weeks and months is the stuff of legend. The story of a weather-beaten 70-year-old man who entered the world of skincare — but not just any old skincare. Nope, he dared to enter that oh-so-holiest of places: the world of skincare for women. What came next was a rabbit hole so deep that it took a full feature article commissioned by his editor at the Wall Street Journal to dig him out.

Sunscreen, then and now

He'd ignored skincare like most men do. Occasionally, he'd apply sunscreen, but not to prevent the deep UV damage the sun can cause — to avoid sunburn. That was the job of sunscreen, wasn’t it?

Like many men and women of his generation (and I’m not far behind), sunscreen wasn’t a thing. If anything, the lotion of the day was reef oil to help you sizzle for a golden tan. I'd call that a deep fry — and thankfully, I found out early what the sun was going to do to my skin and dodged that trend.

But what was it about women's skincare that had John intrigued? Could it really make a difference? And how is it different to skincare for men?

Crossing the cosmetic aisle

Once he dabbled, he was hooked. And unlike most of us Googling for answers, he dug deep — only to discover how limited men’s skincare really is.

Men’s skincare is deliberately basic — one-size-fits-all. We assume (perhaps rightly) that men want something simple. But for John, all that research lit a fire. He wanted more — and it kept pointing to the other side of the aisle. Before long, he’d crossed into the discerning world of women’s skincare.

"In his words, when you have a discerning customer base... women. Then you have to create products for that audience."

That’s an interesting perspective. To be honest, I'd never thought of it quite like that. I knew men’s skincare was often limited to a few basic steps, just enough to maintain a consistent routine. But he was right. What happens when you need more help? Well, women’s skincare is where it’s at.

Still, I’d argue it’s not women’s skincare per se, but rather medical-grade or cosmeceutical skincare that he needed, which — although still largely marketed to women — is often fragrance-free, clinical, and essentially gender-neutral.

One of the first brands he settled on was Laboratoires Filorga, based in Paris. I don’t know much about this brand, but I am familiar with the other two he favours: Augustinus Bader and SkinCeuticals, which led me to ponder whether these were the best choice for him. But, no matter what I think, if they worked for him and he liked using them, well then, yes, it’s a good move.

Interestingly, his story struck a chord with many, and he has received hundreds of letters, which proves that relatable, jargon-free advice resonates in a space often dominated by big claims that lead to confusion, overwhelm and distrust.

His “regular guy” tone builds trust where beauty industry jargon often falls short. It’s a voice that’s unintimidating, accessible, and refreshingly curious. That’s rare in skincare, and it’s why men (and a fair few women) are paying attention.

After the Wall Street Journal feature went viral, he was invited onto the AGEIST podcast for a deeper dive into his late-blooming skincare obsession — and what the beauty industry looks like through a man's eyes, and this is how I found the story of John Koten, the WSJ Journalist, who found women’s skincare at 70.

As many skincare brands as there are faces

Over the last twenty years, the skincare industry has experienced a surge in brands. It can feel as though there are as many brands as there are faces, okay, not quite, not yet anyway; however, during the podcast, he and David from AGEIST discuss the 10,000 square feet of skincare on Bergdorf Goodman’s ground floor in NYC. Yep… said John, there’s a lot. How do we make sense of it?

They’re both right — it’s a lot. That’s why so many skincare influencers, TikTok gurus and other experts are striving to help you navigate it all, with varying degrees of integrity and success. Let’s be honest, how many times do you jump from one YouTube to the next looking for answers?

Imagine how a 70-year-old man feels. Well, of course, as we now know: if you’re a journalist, you don’t just go down the rabbit hole — you go at it forensically.

If you find yourself in a state of Alice in Wonderland confusion, you might ask, as John did. Why does L’Oréal or Estée Lauder need such a huge stable of brands?

My take: Brands like L’Oréal and Estée Lauder beat their competitors by acquiring them. You might be surprised to learn the brand you love is owned by one of these industry behemoths.

Is that a bad thing? That depends on whether you’d rather support independent beauty brands. It’s subjective. But for what it’s worth, most of the brands I’ve loved over the years started out small and independent — and they’ve often been the ones taking creative risks and pushing the boundaries of what skincare can do.

John's discoveries and my take

John: He concludes our skin changes, sometimes it's oily, sometimes it's dry...
My take: He’s right up to a point, but not in the way he suggests on the podcast. Your genetic skin type doesn’t change — for example, an oily skin type doesn't change, but how it behaves does. In summer, sebum within the follicle becomes soft and free-flowing; in winter, it solidifies and congests the skin. It’s not that your skin changes seasonally, but how it responds to the environment certainly does. That’s where adaptive skincare comes in.

John: After his WSJ feature article went viral, a product for brown spots (Dominas) sold out in 24 hours, leading him to conclude that many people are concerned with dark spots.
My take: For those of us in the industry, the prevalence of hyperpigmentation is no surprise. We see daily how troubling, emotional, and even embarrassing dark spots can be for people.

The brand John found useful, Dominas, offers a product containing Tranexamic Acid, Niacinamide, and Vitamin C, which work together to help calm inflammation, fade dark spots, and protect your skin from future UV damage. I haven't used it, but at face value, it's a clever trio for skin that has been exposed to too much sun.

However, it's not the only brand that helps with the problem of dark spots.

John: If you know where to look, you will find that many products are essentially gender-neutral.
My take: Fragrance-free and cosmeceutical/medical-grade skincare is already neutral. It’s not about gender — it’s about performance. However, he's right; those brands specifically for men can be limited. Opt for a brand that offers active skincare with essential ingredients for skin health. For more information on this topic, please refer to my article, "Six Essentials for Great Skin."

John: He wisely ditched the splash-and-burn approach of aftershave in favour of a modern essence.
My take: Aftershave is often loaded with alcohol and fragrance — no wonder it stings. John’s pick — Augustinus Bader The Essence — is perfectly fine, especially if you like an exfoliating, enzyme-rich liquid that feels indulgent.

But if you’re after performance over prestige, products like Environ's Botanical-infused Moisturising Toner offer deep hydration and skin barrier support for less than half the price — and in a much larger bottle. In the end, what matters is not the label, but what’s inside — and how consistently you use it.

John’s newfound philosophy on skin

With all his research, he has come to the universal truth: you can’t make your skin look younger with skincare alone. Yes, it helps the skin and supports it — but it can’t reverse the ticking clock of the ageing process.

My take: Yes, at 70 with a lifetime of sun damage, without the intervention of cosmetic surgery or non-surgical devices, it would be difficult to turn the clock back. But you can — no matter your age — make big improvements in the health of your skin with good skincare grounded in scientific evidence.

If you'd like to know what John is using on his skin, while he rejects the K-Beauty Routine for its many steps, he still has quite the playlist.

Check out his feature article in The Wall Street Journal — I’ll link it here or his interview on the Ageist Podcast here.

I find myself a little bemused.

John has become a bit of a sensation — mainly with men, but also women clamouring to know more. And he sees the industry the way I do, the advice is often self-serving and always tied to selling more products and services.

We women are swamped with advice, which is often marketing dressed up as expertise.

After decades inside the industry, it confirms what I already know: while there’s an abundance of information out there, there’s also an industry brimming with self-interest — selling you more and more stuff, which makes it hard to know who to believe and what really helps.

A note to my Substack subscribers

What you’re reading today, either on your phone or your desktop, are the words from the mind of a skin therapist with no commercial interest or sponsorship, other than you, the subscriber.

Take that as you will, but I suggest this: make this newsletter your own. Become a paid subscriber and set the course for what you want to know. Not sure who to believe? Exactly, and that's a problem.

Like John, I can go as deep into the research as you’d like. It’s all up to you; all you have to do is ask me. If you’d like to know what I’d recommend for John, join the conversation in the comments.

Leave a comment

See you next time,

Blotchy hyperpigmentation and brown spots — sometimes called age spots or sun spots — are among the most common skin concerns as we age. They’re caused by years of sun exposure, hormonal changes, and skin inflammation. In this article, we’ll explore what triggers them, how to treat them safely, and the best skincare ingredients and […]

The post The curse of blotchy hyperpigmentation and brown spots. appeared first on the beauty issue..

Over my many years in the beauty and skincare industry, I’ve heard my fair share of myths, misconceptions and — let’s be honest — plain old marketing hype.

The strange thing about a beauty myth is how stubborn it can be. Even when evidence says otherwise, we often cling to what we’ve always believed. Sometimes it’s habit, sometimes it’s hope, and sometimes it’s because every ad, influencer and glossy magazine keeps telling us the same story. So why wouldn’t we believe it?

And it’s not just beauty. We have long-held beliefs about ageing (“I’ll age just like Mum did”), about health (“disease is inevitable”), and about food and nutrition (don’t get me started). But today, I’m bringing the focus back to skincare and beauty myths — six that have been hanging around far too long.

Myth #1: The cleanser you choose doesn’t matter

Some people believe cleanser is just a quick wash-off step, so why invest much thought or money into it? And, while there’s no need to blow the budget on your cleanser, the truth is, your choice of cleanser is one of the most important decisions you’ll make for your skin.

A harsh or poorly formulated cleanser can disrupt your skin’s acid mantle — that fine, protective layer that helps maintain the skin’s protective barrier. Do this once in a while, and your skin may recover. Do it every day, and you’re setting yourself up for dehydration, irritation, and barrier damage and eventually sensitive skin that fails to respond to skincare.

Choose a cleanser that suits your skin type and current condition. A simple test? If your face feels tight or “squeaky clean” after washing, it’s a sign your cleanser is stripping too much. The right cleanser should leave skin feeling soft, comfortable, and ready for the next step — not desperate for moisture.

Myth #2: You need a toner

Toners have been sold as everything from astringents and pH balancers to refreshing mists and treatment waters — but most are unnecessary. Harsh, alcohol-based versions strip the skin and can make oiliness worse, while fragranced “refreshing” formulas risk irritation without real benefit.

The only ones worth considering are those that actively improve your skin: gentle exfoliating toners to boost cell turnover, hydrating toners to plump and prepare the skin for serums and creams, and microbiome-supporting formulas that help keep the skin barrier strong.

If it doesn’t do one of these jobs, you can happily skip it.

Myth #3: You must have a separate eye cream

Eye creams exist because we think we need them — and the industry is happy to oblige. In truth, most good serums and moisturisers already contain the actives your eye area needs.

Unless your chosen face product stings near your eyes or you want a formula with SPF that won’t migrate, you can skip the extra jar. Just apply your regular serum or cream sparingly around the orbital bone (not on the lash line or tear duct).

If you love the ritual of an eye cream or enjoy formulas with light-diffusing pigments or cooling applicators, that’s fine — just know it’s a luxury, not a necessity.

Myth #4: Natural products are always best

“Natural,” “clean,” “green,” “non-toxic” — all nice-sounding words, all largely unregulated. What one brand calls natural might be plant-based, organic, cruelty-free, preservative-free… or none of the above.

Here’s what matters: performance, safety, and proof. Some of the most irritating ingredients I’ve seen on skin are “all-natural” plant extracts. Nature can be wonderful, but it can also be harsh, allergenic, and unpredictable.

This is where biotech skincare comes in — and why it’s becoming the way forward. Instead of harvesting ingredients from the environment, biotech allows us to create them in a lab, bio-identical to what’s found in nature but without the same environmental cost.

Think of lab-grown hyaluronic acid, fermented antioxidants, or peptides designed to trigger the skin’s own repair processes. They’re consistent in quality, often purer than their natural counterparts, and can be produced without stripping ecosystems of plants or overfishing marine sources.

For your skin, biotech ingredients offer potency, stability, and precision — they can be formulated to deliver results without the unpredictability of raw extracts. For the planet, they mean less land cleared for agriculture, less water used, and a lower carbon footprint overall.

So instead of asking “Is it natural?”, a better question is “Is it effective, safe, and responsibly made?” That’s the real beauty of the future.

Myth #5: Collagen and elastin creams erase wrinkles

This one has been going around for decades. Collagen and elastin are too large to penetrate your skin from the outside — it’s physically impossible to “replace” lost fibres by rubbing them on.

These creams can hydrate and plump temporarily (especially if they contain hyaluronic acid), which makes skin look smoother for a few hours.

But to truly stimulate collagen production, you’d be looking at formulations with retinoids, peptides, and specific in-clinic treatments, or — in the ingestible category — collagen supplements with growing evidence to support them.

If a jar claims to “restore” collagen directly, it’s marketing, not magic.

Myth #6: Hypoallergenic means it won’t cause a reaction

“Hypoallergenic” sounds reassuring, but it’s not a guarantee of anything. There’s no universal standard for the claim — some brands base it on a small patch-test group, others just use the term because they’ve left out a common irritant.

Similarly, “for sensitive skin” and “dermatologist tested” are more marketing language than scientific proof.

Skin sensitivity is more common than ever — thanks in part to over-exfoliation, strong actives, and barrier damage. If your skin reacts often, don’t rely on the label. Patch test, read the ingredient list, and if issues persist, get patch testing through a dermatologist to identify your triggers.

Bonus tip: If it tingles, it’s working

I used to think that the tingling was proof a product was doing its job — and there’s no getting away from the fact that some ingredients, like AHAs, BHAs, or certain vitamin C formulas, can cause a mild, temporary tingle.

But tingling isn’t required for a product to be effective. In fact, that sensation often signals irritation rather than results. If the tingle quickly subsides and your skin looks calm, you’re probably fine. But if it lingers, turns into stinging, or leaves your skin red and tight, it’s a sign you’ve pushed your skin too far. The best products often work quietly, delivering results without making a scene.

I’ll be covering this in much greater detail — including how to tell the difference between a healthy tingle and barrier damage — in the next chapter of my e-book The Retinoid Lab.

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The bottom line

In a world where algorithms and clever marketing amplify trends, news travels faster than fact-checking, and beauty myths can live on indefinitely.

The best defence? Ask “why” before you buy. Look for proof, not promises. And remember — hype is rarely a sign of substance.

Have a beauty myth you’ve always wondered about? Leave it in the comments or email me — I read and respond to every one.

Leave a comment

See you next time,

Well, hello there, little butterfly.

I see you’ve made quite the transformation. It seems like only last week you were a caterpillar, and now look at you — fluttering about, showing off those beautiful wings.

Like the butterfly, some changes seem to happen overnight. But far from being miraculous, a lot of quiet work goes on behind the scenes — before the big reveal.

There doesn’t need to be a calendar reset for positive changes to take shape — or to transform into a slightly better version of ourselves. Even when we resist it, change is happening every day. Some of it is good, some… not so much.

There are moments when we catch ourselves thinking, 'What if things could be different?' What if we could be a different version of ourselves?

But alongside all this hopeful energy comes a quieter truth: we’ve been here before.

Habits we were certain we’d outgrown still linger. Changes we want to make elude us. And any promise of a fresh start is mixed with the frustration of how hard it can be to create lasting positive change, whatever that might be.

Which might leave us to ponder: Do we ever really change?

Is lasting change an illusion?

I’ve always thought change — like happiness — is something we remember. Looked back on through the romantic rear vision of our lives. Thoughts of the passing years leave us to ponder:

Well, I was really happy then. Poor, but happy. Or, I didn’t know it then, but they were the happiest times of my life…

Believing things that just don’t hold true for me anymore — and the quiet chuckle that follows, having ever believed them in the first place.

In hindsight, we can see we did change. Sometimes it’s a happy relief when we acknowledge that those changes were brought about by a committed effort.

At other times, circumstances force changes that leave an indelible mark. These are the times, if we’re resilient, we find ways to make lemonade out of those lemons, and it is indeed a healthy way to view difficult changes in life. There’s always something to learn, or some good to come from it.

But what about when we want to instigate a positive change? Let go of what's no longer working for something much better. Putting ourselves right there in the driver’s seat. Mastering our own destiny. This is when our best efforts are required.

Falling back into our comfort zone

Even if we wish for change, unless we’ve found a way to commit to positive changes, then falling back into the sameness of the past feels all too comfortable.
Why is this? If change is what we want, why do we fail so often to go after it? Why do we let the past — or the discomfort of change — dictate the future we want for ourselves?

Little, big lies

While we are slowly falling back into that lovely comfort zone, we happily tell ourselves a few tidy little lies, making it easier to stay in a place of sameness. But perhaps these little lies are actually the biggest lies of all. Knowingly deluding ourselves into believing we didn’t really want the changes we earlier committed to as much as we said we did. This surely is the ultimate dupe. Why do we do that?

Getting change under your skin

To change, we need to get change under our skin. Swim around in it, get a little mucky… It’s not enough to think we want to change — it’s not even enough to have a strong desire (although that does help). Nope, we're going to have to get dirty, really roll around in the mud.

At first, it feels horrible. It’s messy. We really want to back out.

And then, one day, what seemed like a big, old quagmire of a muddy pond became crystal-clear water. Everything that seemed so hard falls into place.

Mission accomplished.

What’s even better? Next time we jump in the mud, we know what we’re in for. We know the transitional pain of change won’t last. We know there is a blue lake and blue skies just ahead.

What just happened?

While we were contemplating change, we began to immerse ourselves in it slowly at first, and before we knew it, the change we’d been hoping for started to take shape.

But what was this immersion? Something big, or many small, but intentional moments?

Making it a habit

Yep, we’d made a habit of it.

Like that 30-minute walk we’ve been procrastinating on. But if we act before we have time to think — before we have time to talk ourselves out of it (it’s cold, it’s late, it’s hot, it’s whatever) — suddenly we’re back from our walk.

It wasn’t so bad. We enjoyed it. Tomorrow, we may even walk for 45 minutes.

Now is not the time to overthink it. Let’s allow this new ‘thing’ to take shape. To become a habit.

Apply this thinking to any or every aspect of our lives, and before we know it, we’ve made a change. It’s a lovely, liberating feeling. Not only will we have changed, but we’re going to feel a whole lot better about ourselves and the accomplishments we’ve planned.

Momentum will begin to gather, and before long, there are a whole lot of things we know we can change — if we start with the power of forming a new habit.

We’re no longer overthinking it. We just began.

The power of consistency

In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explores how lasting change really works — why some people and companies evolve with ease, and others stay stuck for years.

Spoiler: it’s not about willpower.

It’s about routine. Repetition. Like brushing our teeth — we don’t think twice about it.

Big changes start small. Making the new thing automatic. A habit.

If you’re curious to dive deeper into the science and psychology of habit-building, here are two other excellent reads:

– Atomic Habits by James Clear — a practical guide to identity-based habit change. Small actions, done consistently, become who we are.

– Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg — a behavioural scientist’s take on starting small and celebrating success to make habits stick. It’s about simplicity, not motivation.

Each offers a different perspective on how habits form and how they can shape the person we're becoming.

The habits that shape us

People say we can’t change our nature. That might be true, but we can change the way we move through the world.

A way of reacting? A belief we carry? Or part of our personality?

Most of what we call personality is just habit — learned behaviours, reactions, and responses we’ve repeated until they feel like identity.

We made them. We can change them.

As someone once said, “I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. So I changed. Just like that.”

Of course, it’s rarely that simple. But change can begin that simply — a decision, repeated daily.

That’s a hopeful place to start. Don’t you think?

When And Just Like That hit our screens, it marked a sharp departure from the world Sex and the City once inhabited – and, unlike its predecessor, And Just Like That gave every contemporary social narrative its moment in the sun, for better or worse.

From exploring shifting sexual preferences in midlife to acknowledging non-binary identities, to pairing each of the three leads with a friend of colour in an attempt to address the original series’ lack of diversity, the show aimed to modernise. And while perhaps well-intentioned, many of these efforts came off as awkward and forced.

Rather than adding nuance or complexity, it often felt like the writers were ticking boxes – using these additions as a kind of get-out-of-jail-free card against inevitable criticism, giving each social narrative its moment, but rarely the depth it might have deserved.

If you ever wondered how the Fab Four would navigate life in their third act, here was your chance to find out, along with a host of new friends.

At the time of publishing this article, the series was entering its third season – a number that surprises me. I was certain it wouldn’t make it past the first season. It was that bad. But it did. I didn’t. I let them go.

Was it because my favourite character had moved to London? Perhaps. But, to be fair, at least for me, scenes with Carrie Bradshaw in her solitary moments grappling with grief were the best part of the new series. And just like that, she was a widow. But that’s old news. Any further comments from me are speculation – I didn’t last the distance. Sure, I snuck a peek from time to time, but these women were no longer the reflection of myself I wished to see staring back at me.

What happened to the women we came to love?

I suppose I was hoping for more. Not the perpetual quest for relevance or a mate to ward off solitude. I hoped for fully realised, determined women. Instead, at least in the first series, we watched as middle-aged women awkwardly tried to stay relevant, stumbling through the travails of new social norms. Mostly, they failed, or we were asked to laugh along at their failures. The message seemed to be: we’re all struggling with our newfound "wokeness". We want to be better. But hey, old habits die hard. Sure, we can all do better. And the writers, frankly, should have tried a little harder.

Samantha Jones: Lived all the quiet things out loud

The one person, at least in my imagination, who would have sailed through the rough seas of all this progress? Samantha Jones.

She was far ahead of her peers in her perspective on the world and her place within it. Of course, Miranda had her moments – but hers was more of a lone rallying cry than the grounded strength of a woman fully at home in her power.

I know some say the series has not aged well, but Sex and the City was a cultural trailblazer. For all its blind spots we can look back on through the lens of the 2020s, it spoke boldly, especially when it came to women’s agency, desire, and the perils of dating. That, more than anything, was the point.

Everything changes, and yet... remains the same.

And it’s Samantha’s character I want to linger on – the one woman who seemed to exist above the noise.

Lately, hookup culture is being re-examined through a feminist lens, as it should be. Does it harm, hurt, or empower women – and men, for that matter? Which leads me to wonder: how would Samantha navigate hookup sex in the age of Tinder swipes?

Of course, she might revel in it. She would certainly know where her boundaries were. But Samantha didn’t just fall out of the sky this way. Okay – maybe she kind of did. But stay with me.

How did she become the woman she was? What early heartbreaks, quiet rebellions, or hard-won lessons shaped her?

Because she wasn’t born that way. No woman is.

Given her age – close to my own – I imagine the clues lie in the experiences we both might’ve had. In Sex and the City, she’s already in her 40s and evidently a decade older than her friends. When you’re the oldest in your circle, you can watch the world from the landing of a staircase, observing your younger friends making all the mistakes you’ve already made on their way up – and vowing not to make them again.

Was her independence shaped by what she saw in them, or by something more deeply ingrained? Either way, Samantha didn’t need a man – not financially, not spiritually, not emotionally, and certainly not sexually.

Brunch with her girlfriends often had her rolling her eyes at the drama. Samantha was there for pleasure, power, and play – and no man was going to stand in her way.

Of course, Samantha did fall in love – twice. The first, with Richard, revealed that even the most self-possessed woman can be caught off guard by desire. She let him in; he let her down. But unlike so many women conditioned to endure, Samantha walked away with clarity, fury, and an unshakable sense of worth.

Her second love, Smith – young, adoring, devoted – seemed like the one who might soften her edges. She loved him, but even that love had its limits. In that memorable breakup scene, she said:

"I'm gonna say the one thing you aren't supposed to say. I love you... but I love me more. I've been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that's the one I need to work on,"

What she embodied wasn’t narcissism, but a rare kind of emotional maturity: the ability to love someone fully without abandoning yourself. That, to me, is the most radical and necessary foundation for any relationship – even, or especially, the one we have with ourselves.

And that brings us to the real point of this story: the sex. Because if Sex and the City was about anything, it was about all the casual encounters on the way to the one – or at least, the question of whether the one even exists.

For me, Samantha Jones remains one of the most compelling archetypes of empowered casual sex. She knew what she wanted, refused to be defined or shamed by others, and approached her sexuality entirely on her own terms. Her confidence wasn’t performative – it came from a fully formed sense of self and self-worth. She offered a powerful counter-narrative to the idea that women always need emotional attachment to enjoy sex.

In 2025, hookup culture is alive and well – it just plays out differently. Apps like Tinder offer it not through chemistry or chance, but through swipes. I’ve never experienced that world.

In the ’90s, men went out to hook up. Women often went out hoping to meet someone meaningful. Sometimes it ended in a one-night stand, sometimes not. It wasn’t always cynical. Sometimes, it was synchronicity. You met someone. You connected. You saw what unfolded. And often, as it was for Samantha, the allure was in the game itself. The flirtation. The dalliance. The potential.

What made Samantha so different was that she was a woman, not a girl, still figuring things out. She was experienced, assured, already living her agency, not just searching for it. That’s not to say casual sex is always empowering – it’s not. But the difference often comes down to power and self-knowledge. Samantha’s story showed that when a woman knows her worth, she can engage in sex without being diminished or judged by it.

The harder part is when you’re younger, still learning, still vulnerable to manipulation or domination. Perhaps, despite all the discussion and debate, experience is the ultimate teacher.

Are we still having the same conversation?

Is sex, dating and being a woman more complex now than it was in the ’90s, when Samantha was written? The conversations around sex, feminism, and identity feel more fragmented, not because the questions are new, but because, like every topic these days, the opinions come at us from every direction. We talk more, share more, debate more. But has anything really changed? Or are we just dressing up the same old tensions in new language, and trying to make sense of it all?

Is it empowering – or emotionally confusing and painful?

As the saying goes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Young people of all genders still navigate the emotional fallout of short-lived liaisons. The methods may have changed – but the outcomes often remain the same. We get it wrong, we learn and grow, or we don’t – and end up repeating the same patterns.

And if Samantha taught us anything about sexual freedom, it was this: put yourself first. Know your worth, set your boundaries, and don’t take nonsense from anyone.

But where does this leave a woman like Samantha as she ages? A woman who had already claimed her agency, defined her own rules, and moved beyond societal judgment. For me – or at least I would hope – she would continue to evolve. She already had. And yet, when it came time for her next chapter, she wasn’t allowed to claim her place as the embodiment of a self-determined woman.

Would a woman like Samantha continue to evolve – or stand still?

When Kim Cattrall chose not to reprise her role after the final Sex and the City Movie, much was made of an alleged fallout – money disputes, creative differences, distance from SJP. But I’ve often wondered if there was something more. Samantha’s character, while still sharp and empowered, was beginning to feel like a caricature of her former self. Smith was now just a memory. She was once again free to roam. But to what end?

At what point would Samantha have been allowed to evolve? We’d grown up with her as self-assured, confident, living by her own playbook. Would she really have become a woman who found solace in a tiny dog and a carousel of forgettable men? Or might she have taken all that power – and a tempered libido – and chosen to fulfil her life in other ways?

That’s the Samantha I choose to imagine. Not softer, but deeper. Not smaller, but more expansive – refusing to be defined by her age. Still herself – just older, with very few regrets. Happily single, maybe dating, or simply no longer interested — because her happiness, as it always had, came from within.

But maybe there’s a deeper question at the heart of it all: Why aren’t women like Samantha allowed to grow old?

“Like the film or not, the backlash of ageism was very ugly. I mean, why do I have to look good ‘for my age’? Why can't I just look good? They airbrush 17-year-olds. They've been airbrushing me since my first still was taken, because I had a pimple or whatever. You think, 'Well, it's just too easy a target,' and nobody is speaking up about it. I think that's really a shame.”
— Kim Cattrall, 2010

To me, there was a kind of meanness – subtle, perhaps even unconscious – in how they wrote her fictional character into the final film – or maybe it simply revealed something more uncomfortable. A reflection of how society still struggles to accept older single women like Samantha – women who are not sad, not searching, and not interested in making themselves smaller.

She was a revolutionary figure – bold, self-possessed, unapologetically sexual. But even she was at risk of being flattened into a trope – a caricature of her former self, there for the laughs, the comic relief. There was no nuance, no real exploration of ageing, aside from a running joke about maintaining her libido with supplements. And if sex was no longer the centre of her story, where was the character allowed to go?

It’s telling, isn’t it? That the woman who so brilliantly gave us a version of feminine liberation might have walked away simply because there was no space left for her to evolve. Kim Cattrall made a gracious exit, recognising that her character had been boxed in. And unlike the writers, perhaps she was the only one willing to protect the integrity of Samantha.

But wouldn't a spin-off with Samantha be perfect? Just Samantha. A woman no longer defined by the number of lovers or lines etched across her face, but by a life lived entirely on her own terms.

And maybe that’s exactly the version of her we need right now.

See you next time,

If you ever wondered how Samantha might have evolved? I loved this read, from Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City. It offers us a glimpse of how an independent woman might approach her third act — sex, city, and everything else.

If you’ve felt lonely lately, you’re far from alone. It’s just that most of us don’t talk about it.

I know, it’s a confronting question. But lately, I’ve been thinking about it — and more importantly, I’ve been hearing about it.

I was listening to Ladies, We Need to Talk, the podcast hosted by Yumi Stynes. The topic was loneliness — particularly how it affects women. Not the kind we brush off nonchalantly, but the kind that walks beside us quietly. The kind that sits on our shoulder, unnoticed by others. Emotional, existential, sometimes circumstantial. The kind we often carry in silence — not even aware of it until it shows up in other ways.

A question we don’t often ask

Prior to the programme, the producers of the podcast asked listeners to share their feelings and stories of loneliness — and they received a flood of messages. Proof, perhaps, that while we might not always talk about loneliness in daily life, many of us feel it cutting deeply beneath the surface.

So it got me wondering: Have you ever asked a friend, “Are you lonely?” Has anyone ever asked you?

So I’ll ask. Are you lonely?

For me, the answer is: yes, sometimes.

If we’re being honest, I think most of us are — at least now and then. Loneliness can come and go, shifting with the seasons of our lives. Sometimes it arrives suddenly; other times it builds slowly, almost without notice.

But perhaps the more useful question is: Why do we feel lonely?

Beyond the obvious reason — the need for human connection.

Is it because something we always wanted didn’t go the way we hoped? Perhaps we settled for something less than we needed or deserved. Or we held on too tightly to a picture of how life was meant to look — a marriage, a child, a close-knit circle of friends — and when that didn’t happen, a dull ache settled in. Perhaps we never made peace with a path not taken, which left us feeling lonely.

And if we’ve measured our lives against others, it can leave us feeling like we’ve somehow fallen behind. But comparing our path to someone else’s rarely brings fulfilment, and often masks our true worth.

But it’s okay not to be where you thought you’d be. In fact, failure or disappointment is often where the richest parts of our story are written. As How to Fail podcaster Elizabeth Day says, it’s not just about what’s gone wrong, but what we learn along the way.

A life that hasn’t gone to plan isn’t broken. However, if we acknowledge it, we may find the clues that reveal how we can grow from our failures in unexpected ways.

After years of climbing the corporate ladder, I eventually realised I’d put the ladder against the wrong wall. It took time to admit that truth — and longer still to figure out what I truly wanted. But the experiences along the way gave me the skills and confidence to make a significant change.

Loneliness, too, can be part of that lesson — not something to fear, but something to explore. A signal. A redirection. An invitation to begin again, with more self-compassion than before.

Sitting with what’s uncomfortable

One woman’s loneliness might be another’s peaceful solitude. It’s not just about the circumstances — it’s about the story we attach to them.

We don’t always choose our circumstances, but we do get to choose the meaning we make of them.

Feelings of loneliness can show up when you're surrounded by people. It’s lying next to someone when the connection is frayed or taken for granted. It’s feeling dismissed while chatting at a dinner party. It’s watching your children leave home. Or being childfree when your friends can talk of nothing but motherhood. It’s being the only single person in a world obsessed with coupledom.

Ouch, it can sting and lead to unexpected feelings of loneliness. We’ve all been there, in some way or another.

So, if we’re all lonely at some point — or we’re all finding ways to avoid it — what do we do about it? Do we need to? What if we found the courage to lean into it and see what shows up? What parts of ourselves could be explored, uncovered, resolved or accepted?

Can we use loneliness to get to know ourselves better, to examine our life, what’s important, and what we perceive it to be?

Letting go of society’s timelines

I’m 65. I’m single. I’m childfree. For some, that might sound like an inconsolable situation. But it isn’t — not for me. You see, I’ve arrived at a point in my life where this is not only comfortable but also welcome. But it wasn’t always this way.

In my late 30s and still single, fear crept in. I could see it in others, and I felt the weight of it myself — the quiet panic, the self-questioning, the ticking clock. I watched friends settle for less just to fit a timeline. Seeing that quiet desperation, I decided not to feel that way. I let go of what may or may not be my story. I chose not to live in longing. Not to tie my happiness to something (or someone) that hadn’t arrived. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. Even so, I refused to make the present miserable because I was fearful of the future.

I would rather feel grounded and whole than live in the waiting room of life. Sure, I was still hopeful — but I refused to be unhappy. And when loneliness came along, I chose to endure it and push through it.

The power of choosing your own story

I share my story not to sound like a martyr for singledom. I’m sharing how I feel because everything we choose comes from within. We get to choose how we respond to what we don’t have — and knowing this, we can extend empathy to others when they feel lost or alone, even if they’re hiding behind the things we use to mask the ache. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is talk about it.

Becoming comfortable with being alone

We often think of loneliness as something to fix — a condition to escape. But what if we could sit with it instead? What if loneliness had something to show us?

Perhaps it prompts us to examine how we’ve been living. What we’ve ignored. What we’ve sacrificed. Inviting us to reconnect with ourselves, to feel it and notice what it’s pointing us to.

Because if we’re searching for someone else to fill the void, we might be waiting a long time. No one else can do that for us. And trying to escape ourselves through someone else? That’s a kind of loneliness all its own.

Pulling up a chair to loneliness

But here’s the part we rarely say out loud: sometimes the best thing we can do is pull up a chair and sit with loneliness. In fact, if we’re brave enough, it can become one of the most honest companions we’ll ever have.

Loneliness invites us inward. To notice how we’ve been living. To ask whether we’ve abandoned ourselves trying to be what others expect. It asks us to listen — really listen — to what makes us feel truly ourselves, not just distracted.

And sometimes, the way through loneliness isn’t another person. It’s living in the moment and being present for yourself.

Tending to the garden of your inner world

A garden? Well, yes. It’s either overgrown with weeds or a place of calm and beauty.

Martha Stewart once said, “If you want to be happy for a year, take a spouse. If you want to be happy for a decade, get a dog. And if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a garden.”

Now, I’m not suggesting marriage only brings fleeting happiness — far from it. But if we think of this quote as a metaphor for our inner world, it holds. Because self-love and acceptance — the antidote for loneliness — is something we must cultivate, like a beautiful, magical garden. And if all else fails, well, maybe take Martha’s advice — and get a dog.

Of course, there are moments when loneliness feels crushing — after a loss, an emotional upheaval, a goodbye you didn’t choose. In those times, it’s easy to forget who you are. To feel unmoored, as though the centre has fallen out of your life. That kind of loneliness doesn’t need fixing — it needs tending. Like a wound that heals slowly, leaving a kind of wisdom and newfound courage in its place.

Self-care has gotten a lot of attention in the last few years, and I agree it's important — but it’s more than just a face mask on a Sunday night. Real self-care, especially when loneliness is tied to grief or change, is quiet, personal, and often uncomfortable. It’s about tending to what hurts, not glossing over it.

At these times — at least for me — it’s better to tend to that loneliness than avoid it.

Sometimes that means taking a long morning walk when the world is just waking up, or at the in-between hours before dusk. It might be a comforting meal made just for you, with care. Or the grateful release of a good cry. It could be rediscovering the healing power of music or the clarity that comes from writing things down. Or simply returning to an old movie or book that feels like the nostalgia of home.

It is in these small moments that you begin to realise you will feel grounded once more. You have survived. The beast of loneliness did not swallow you whole.

Of course, there are also the practical things — putting yourself out there, meeting new people, trying something new, joining a book club or community class. All of these can help, and sometimes they do. They’re not to be dismissed. But none of them will truly ease loneliness if you’re not at home within yourself. Because no one person — or group, or event — can give you what only self-acceptance can. That’s the real beginning.

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The quiet strength of solitude

I’ve come to believe that the more comfortable you are with yourself — really comfortable — the less likely loneliness is to consume you. That’s not the same as never feeling it. It just means you know how to sit with it. To welcome it in, offer it tea, and ask what it’s here to teach you.

And yes, it may be easier to be lonely alone than to be lonely beside someone who cannot meet you. That’s a truth some of us live quietly.

So if you’re feeling lonely right now — not just alone, but aching — know this: you’re not broken. You’re not failing. And this feeling won’t stay forever.

Try, if you can, to treat your loneliness like a messenger — not a verdict. It’s not here to shame you. It’s here to call you back to yourself. Remember, no feeling is final.

Because the work you do now — to know yourself, to become your own companion, to tend the garden of your inner world — will carry you through far more than the present moment. It will quietly strengthen your relationships, deepen your sense of belonging, and sustain you as the years unfold.

Loneliness may visit, but it doesn’t need to become a permanent fixture.
I’ll leave you with this: becoming comfortable in your solitude is one way to embrace loneliness when it comes to visit — and make it a little easier to bear.

And remember — you’re not alone. We all feel it sometimes. So let’s talk about it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment and join the conversation.

Leave a comment

See you next time,

🌿 A Short Note

This piece explores themes of loneliness and emotional well-being. If anything here resonates deeply or feels difficult, please know you’re not alone, and support is available. Speaking with a mental health professional can offer clarity, comfort, and guidance.

In Australia, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. If you’re elsewhere in the world, please reach out to a trusted local support service or speak with your general practitioner — they can help guide you to the right kind of care.

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Retinyl palmitate is a form of vitamin A that offers daily protection for your skin. Think of it as your skin’s best friend – always there, always supportive – and yes, it’s found naturally in your skin. Your body needs vitamin A for a range of important functions, but today, I’d like to focus on […]

The post Retinyl Palmitate: Your Skin’s Natural Defender appeared first on the beauty issue..

You know, your skincare routine begins long before you put a serum on your face.

We often talk about skin health from the perspective of the right product — the perfect serum, the most sophisticated moisturiser, the gold-standard retinoid. And while what you put on your skin matters, the truth is: skin health begins long before that, and it’s just as much a long game as your skincare routine, well, longer, because if you hope to have great skin, or skincare that works as intended, then you better pay attention to the food you eat.

Your skin is a living, breathing organ – the largest.

But, there’s no need to get braggy about it, let’s just say, your skin needs as much care and consideration as your heart, lungs and kidneys, and while your skin responds to what you apply topically, how well it’s being nourished from the inside out makes a big difference.

It might seem obvious, and yet, it’s easy to forget, or even neglect the role of nutrition and the healthy functioning of your skin – it’s foundational. And the better your internal support, the more effective your topical skincare will be.

So while I’m in the process of writing my ebook, which will go deep into retinoids — what they are, how they work, why they irritate, and how to use them wisely — today, I want to shift gears and look at the other side of the skin equation: your dinner plate.

Below you’ll find the nutrients that have the biggest impact on the way your skin functions, heals, and looks — and while serums are great, they’ll never take the place of a balanced diet full of colourful fruits, vegetables and other good things, like nuts, seeds, healthy proteins and fats.

Let’s take a look at some of the key players, essential to every organ in your body, but specifically, how they relate to your skin function.

Vitamin A: The Cell Communicator

Yes, we’re starting here — and for good reason. Vitamin A is essential for the growth, repair, and maintenance of epithelial tissue. That includes your skin, but also your gut lining, respiratory tract, and eyes. It helps regulate oil production, supports immune defence in the skin, and keeps the outer layer of skin cells turning over in a healthy rhythm.

Where to get it:

• Preformed vitamin A (retinol) is found in liver, eggs, and full-fat dairy

• Beta-carotene (a precursor your body converts to vitamin A) is found in orange and dark green vegetables like sweet potato, carrots, and spinach

Topical note: Retinoids are the topical forms of vitamin A found in serums and creams, which pick up the shortfall that can happen when your natural vitamin A is degraded, when your skin is exposed to sunlight.

Niacinamide (Vitamin B3): The Barrier Builder

Niacinamide will always be an important topical skincare ingredient — and rightly so. It strengthens the skin barrier, supports ceramide production, reduces inflammation, and helps regulate oil production. However, its dietary role is equally important: vitamin B3 supports healthy DNA repair and cell metabolism, which means skin cells function better and recover faster after exposure to environmental factors.

Where to get it:

• Chicken, turkey, tuna, mushrooms, and brown rice

• Your body can also make it from tryptophan (found in eggs, dairy, and oats)

Topical note: I’ve written extensively about niacinamide as a key player in your skincare routine; you can find more information on this brilliant nutrient here and here.

Vitamin C: The Collagen Catalyst

Vitamin C isn’t just a topical brightening agent — it’s essential for collagen synthesis. Without it, your skin can’t produce or maintain healthy collagen fibres, leading to weaker skin structure and slower wound healing. It’s also a powerful antioxidant, protecting skin from oxidative stress caused by UV exposure and pollution.

Where to get it:

• Citrus fruits, strawberries, kiwi, capsicum (especially red), and broccoli

• Vitamin C is a water-soluble vitamin that is easily depleted by stress, cigarette smoke, pollution and exposure to the sun, making frequent intake essential.

Topical note: While topical vitamin C can protect the skin and help minimise uneven skin pigment, your internal levels support the structural integrity of your skin — the scaffolding, if you will.

Vitamin D: The Skin Regulator

Vitamin D plays a role in skin immunity, calming inflammation, and even wound healing. Low levels are associated with increased risk of inflammatory skin conditions and slower recovery from environmental damage. Your skin produces vitamin D from sun exposure, but a balanced diet can help support levels, especially during winter or if you avidly wear broad-spectrum sun protection.

Where to get it:

• Fatty fish like salmon and sardines, egg yolks, and fortified dairy or plant milks

• Moderate sun exposure remains your best source — about 10 minutes a day, depending on your skin tone and season. However, if that's not feasible, a D3 supplement is an ideal alternative.

Topical note: Some may say, a little ultra violet B (the ray that burns the skin), is okay, as it activates vitamin D. It’s a conundrum that I struggle with, and while vitamin D is a very important nutrient for so many reasons, if you’re concerned about a deficiency, speak with your doctor, who may suggest a supplement.

Essential Fatty Acids (Omega-3 & 6): The Lipid Layer Lifesavers

Your skin barrier is made up of lipids, and essential fatty acids are the raw materials. Omega-3s help reduce inflammation and support hydration, while omega-6s are vital for barrier repair and structure. If your skin is dry, tight, or reactive, there’s a good chance your essential fatty acid intake is low.

Where to get them:

• Omega-3: Flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, and oily fish (like mackerel and sardines) and my personal favourite, marine algae oil.

• Omega-6: Sunflower seeds, sesame oil, and evening primrose oil

Topical note: Most moisturising creams contain ceramides and plant oils, but they work best when your body is also receiving the right building blocks from a balanced diet rich in essential fatty acids.

So finally, before you skip ahead to skincare

Consider this: If your diet is depleted, your skin will struggle and is less likely to benefit from active, potent skincare. There's no point jumping on the retinoid train, or any other potent topical skincare formulation, if your diet is lacking in essential nutrients. A weakened barrier, skin struggling with environmental damage, or showing signs of collagen decline, due to menopause, will benefit greatly if you start from within.

If the skin doesn’t have the internal support it needs, it will be an uphill battle.

That’s why, in my upcoming ebook Retinoids: The Truth About Vitamin A and Your Skin, I’m covering more than just the topical science. I’ll dedicate an entire chapter to internal support – including diet, key supplements, and smart lifestyle tweaks — so your skin has everything it needs to tolerate and thrive on vitamin A.

E-Book Update
Part One of my retinoid series—for paid subscribers

I’d hoped to have Part One in your inbox today, but making it a truly comprehensive, standalone guide—covering what retinoids are, how they work beneath the surface, and why they sometimes send skin into chaos—needs a touch more time. It will be worth the wait, I promise. You’ll get my definitive take on retinoid skincare and learn exactly how to support your skin (and your sanity) every step of the way.

Until then, take a look at what’s on your plate—great skin really does start there.

See you next time,

We have so much skincare information at our fingertips. From beauty blogs, TikTok routines, and dermatologist reels, you’d think we’d all have our retinoid skincare routine down to a science.

And yet, the confusion still rages on.

Most people I speak to — clients, readers, even fellow skin professionals — are still confused about vitamin A.

And while retinoids have been around for decades, the information surrounding them has become tangled in half-truths, contradictions, and copy-and-paste advice.

And frankly, I think we all deserve better.

So I’m writing something for you.

Retinoids: The Truth About Vitamin A and Your Skin will be a clear, no-nonsense ebook that breaks down how retinoids actually work, why they irritate, and how to use them without wrecking your skin barrier and, yes, still get results.

This won’t be another quick blog post. I’m digging deep into the topic of retinoids — part science, part myth-busting and part practical skincare strategy — told from my perspective, with my shared experiences, but with the facts as my number one priority and the foundation for everything I write about retinoids.

The ebook will cover:

• What retinoids actually are

• Why do some need to convert before they can work

• What happens inside your skin once they do

• Why do they often trigger reactions

• How to use vitamin A without overwhelming your skin barrier

• How to choose the right form for your skin, age and tolerance

I’ve decided to complete the ebook as a stand-alone guide rather than release it in separate chapters here on Substack.

Once it’s finished, it will be available as a one-time purchase. If you’re on my free list, you’ll be the first to know when it’s ready.

Subscribe now

A Quick Reality Check: 5 Retinoid Myths Worth Revisiting

Before the ebook drops, I thought it was worth revisiting a few myths I’ve tackled before — the ones that just won’t die. With so much information flying around online, things get repeated so often that they eventually sound like facts. But are they? Let’s take a closer look.

Myth 1: You can’t use retinoids during the day.
Truth: Your skin needs vitamin A all day, every day. You’ll find plenty of opinions on this, and the general rule is to use them at night, which is fair, but why? The real reason isn’t what you’ve been told. I’ll be delving into this in detail inside the ebook, so you can understand when (and how) to use retinoids confidently — even if you’re stepping into the sun.

Myth 2: If it says ‘vitamin A’, it’s all good.
Truth: Not quite. What kind of vitamin A, how it’s delivered, and how stable it is — all of that matters. But here’s what most people miss: irritation doesn’t always come from too much vitamin A, but from poor formulation. A destabilised or poorly supported formula can throw your skin into chaos, even at low strength.
But how can you tell what’s well-formulated and what’s not? That’s exactly what we’ll cover in the ebook.

Myth 3: I’m too young, and my skin is in good condition; I don’t need it.
Truth: Vitamin A isn’t just about anti-ageing — it’s about skin health. If your skin’s already showing signs of damage or dysfunction, it might be time to start.

And, if you're younger and dealing with breakouts, with the guidance of a skincare professional and in the right concentrations, it would be very helpful.

But, I want to offer you a different perspective where retinoids become a preventive measure, not something you reach for out of panic, when skin damage shows up. Which means, every skin at any age, will benefit.

Having said that, it’s important to understand the type and concentration that will help, without overwhelming your skin. I’ll explain why your skin needs vitamin A, when, what type, how much, and how often.

Myth 4: Prescription retinoids are always better.
Truth: Retinoids like retinoic acid are stronger — no doubt. But does stronger always mean better for your skin? Especially long-term? That depends on your skin, your unique goals, and a few things most people (even the professionals) overlook. We’ll get into what really matters when choosing between prescription and over-the-counter.

Myth 5: You can’t use vitamin A during pregnancy.
Truth: The blanket “no” you often hear is based on one form of vitamin A, not all of them. The reality is more nuanced, and understanding the difference between internal and topical use matters here. If you’re pregnant or planning to be, this topic deserves more than a scare headline — and we’ll break it down properly inside the ebook.

Above all, I want this ebook to be useful.

It’s for you if you’re looking for answers, not product links. If you’ve heard all the tips and tricks but are still confused. If you’re tired of being told to “just push through” irritation like it’s a rite of passage, while your skin sits somewhere between pink, prickly and quietly furious.

Well then, this ebook is definitely for you.

What I hope it gives you is clarity. Grounded in science, yes, but told from my perspective as someone who has spent many years working with skin, products, clients, and the gap that often sits between marketing claims and real-life results.

And I’ll say this upfront: I don’t have a miracle to sell.

But I do have experience, a healthy respect for evidence, and a deep belief in the skin’s ability to do remarkable things when you give it the right support.

In the meantime, this is where you come in.

What questions do you have about fitting retinoids into your skincare routine? What have you heard and wondered if it’s fact or fiction? Your thoughts could shape some of the most useful parts of the ebook.

You can leave a comment below with your questions or simply reply to this email.

Leave a comment

See you soon,

Why can’t a low-dose oestrogen cream be used on the face?

This was a question rolling around in my mind for quite a while. Should we? After all, it makes sense. Vaginal oestrogen creams – a form of localised hormone therapy, distinct from systemic HRT – have long been used to treat vaginal dryness in postmenopausal women by strengthening and repairing fragile skin. It seemed reasonable they might have similar effects elsewhere on the body, like the face.

I first encountered this idea a few years back, around 2018, while listening to a science programme on ABC Radio. They were discussing the off-label use of oestrogen vaginal cream for other parts of the body – and surprisingly, not just for women, but that's another story for another time.

You see, oestrogen, when applied directly to the skin, helps to strengthen the skin’s protective barrier, making it harder for harmful irritants to penetrate while minimising moisture loss to prevent dehydration.

So, it’s fair to say, a low-dose oestrogen cream, originally intended for one part of the body, suddenly had potential far beyond. Sure, some would say this isn’t conventional, but if oestrogen could help thicken and regenerate the skin, why wasn’t anyone talking about using it on our faces?

So I mused for a bit, then mentally filed it away under some day.

Until a doctor prescribed a low-dose oestrogen cream for me, not to be confused with the oestrogen used in systemic HRT, but a low-dose formula called Ovestin, designed to act locally with minimal absorption into the bloodstream. Suddenly, that idle curiosity was within reach, in my bathroom cabinet.

Before dabbling, I searched for answers; the information was far less comprehensive than I'd imagined. In 2018, hardly anyone seemed to be discussing topical oestrogen creams for the face. Fast-forward to 2025, and topical oestrogen creams for the face are having a moment and are being discussed more openly. A quick Google search will confirm this.

Before we delve into this topic, here’s the thing: if you're hoping existing wrinkles will miraculously vanish overnight, or even in a few weeks, you might be disappointed.

But, wait…

If you want to improve the overall texture of your skin and address the decline in collagen and thinning of the dermal layer – the real culprits behind wrinkles and volume loss – then this story is definitely for you.

I see this approach as a protective measure for skin health, beyond minimising wrinkles. This is a long game proposition, and it's worth knowing what’s what before embarking on the practice.

For me, and maybe you too, this topic is worth delving into.

So let’s unpack it.

What is topical oestrogen?

Topical oestrogen is a cream, gel, or lotion containing oestrogen, applied directly to the skin. The most commonly used forms are oestradiol and oestriol – two types of oestrogen naturally produced in the body.

In a medical scenario, these products are typically prescribed to postmenopausal women to treat symptoms of localised oestrogen deficiency. This includes vaginal dryness, irritation, thinning of the vaginal walls, urinary symptoms such as incontinence or recurrent infections, and – let's not forget – sexual discomfort.

If you're yet to reach menopause, I realise this might sound a bit grim, and that's why, thankfully, we have oestrogen creams for when your reproductive hormones retire (so to speak).

In Australia, where I live, they’re classified as prescription-only medicines and used under the guidance of a healthcare professional.

The goal of an oestrogen cream is to restore oestrogen locally, targeting specific tissues without significantly affecting the rest of the body. That’s what makes it relatively safe for most women.

Unlike systemic hormone replacement therapy (HRT), these creams result in minimal systemic absorption, not enough to cause hormonal disruption for most users when used as directed.

Why Your Skin Needs Oestrogen

With the onset of menopause, oestrogen takes a steep dive, and there’s a direct relationship between oestrogen and collagen and the health of your skin. Collagen, the protein responsible for keeping skin strong, plump, and resilient, starts to decline. As collagen levels fall, skin becomes thinner, drier, less elastic, and more prone to fine lines and wrinkles.

Collagen is not the only casualty. Oestrogen also plays a crucial role in maintaining the skin’s hydration, blood circulation, and barrier function. Without enough oestrogen, skin struggles to retain moisture, heal efficiently, and defend itself against environmental stressors.

Unlike hormone therapies, which circulate systemically throughout the body to treat a wide range of symptoms caused by the onset of menopause, topical low-dose oestrogen delivers targeted relief. It focuses on tissues where oestrogen receptors are most affected by hormonal decline. Your epithelial tissues – or, to put it simply, the skin covering your body – are full of these receptors.

Quiet experimentation — or a cautionary tale?

Getting back to my curiosity, it first led me to wonder: If oestrogen cream could restore fragile tissue in one part of the body, could it do the same for ageing facial skin?

Quietly, and often without much fanfare, other women thought the same thing. Small experiments began – a dab on the cheeks here, a careful observation there.

So, women, not brands, drove this narrative, but it wasn’t long before functional medicine doctors and integrative clinics began exploring the concept more intently.

It made sense: Oestrogen receptors exist throughout the skin, including the face, and they decline with age, so why not apply it to the face?

But while curiosity sparked these early experiments, the widespread use of them was met with hesitation by the medical world.

A Missed Opportunity?

Back in 1996, researchers were already looking at the science. A small clinical study found that topical oestrogen could significantly improve skin elasticity, hydration, and thickness in perimenopausal women. Collagen production increased, fine lines softened, and overall skin quality improved. In short, the groundwork for hormone-infused skincare was laid almost three decades ago.

So why didn’t menopausal women start using oestrogen cream on their faces back then?

Timing, for one. In the early 2000s, the Women's Health Initiative study sent shockwaves through the world of hormone therapy, linking systemic hormone use with increased risks of breast cancer, strokes, and cardiovascular events. Combined with the strict regulatory hurdles around hormonal skincare, the climate was hardly welcoming.

Most medical doctors dropped all forms of hormonal therapy from their prescriptive arsenal for menopausal women. This should never have happened, but alas, it did. I’ve written about what happened on my blog if you’d like to know more.

Hormones in skincare presented a regulatory conundrum. Unlike peptides, plant extracts, or vitamins, hormones require strict medical oversight, making them unattractive to mainstream beauty brands. Add to this a cohort still a little shy about discussing menopause out loud, and it’s no wonder the idea stalled.

From curious cat to an emerging trend?

I’d prefer to see it as an idea grounded in science rather than a trend. Today, we’re seeing this idea move from the fringe to something more meaningful. A growing number of dermatologists, cosmetic doctors and surgeons are exploring the use of low-dose oestriol or oestradiol creams for facial application.

In theory, there’s sound logic behind it. If we’re willing to spend years layering on peptides, vitamin C serums, and retinoids to encourage collagen, why not explore supporting the skin with something we know the skin loses during hormonal decline — oestrogen.

That said, oestrogen isn’t just another skincare ingredient you can pick off a beauty shelf. It’s a prescription medicine, regulated for good reason. Hormones are powerful, and their effects can ripple through the body in ways we don't always expect.

It’s important to remember that topical oestrogen is still a prescription medicine. Using it outside its intended purpose should always involve a conversation with a medical doctor.

So, while there are yet to be enough clinical trials, and the practice remains off-label and far from universally endorsed, while we wait, let’s examine the different types of oestrogen.

Oestradiol, Oestriol, and Oestrogen mimics: What's the Difference?

Oestrogen is the umbrella term for a group of hormones that regulate a wide range of body functions, from reproduction to bone density to, yep, the health of your skin.

• Oestradiol is the strongest form of oestrogen, commonly used in systemic HRT. It enters the bloodstream and is prescribed to treat the full spectrum of menopausal symptoms — from hot flushes and sleep disturbances to mood changes and bone density loss.

• Oestriol is a gentler form of oestrogen with minimal systemic absorption. It’s often preferred for topical use on the face due to its safety profile and its ability to improve skin hydration, elasticity, and thickness.

• Oestrogen-mimics like MEP (Methyl Estradiolpropanoate) are non-hormonal compounds designed to activate oestrogen receptors in the skin. They mimic oestrogen’s benefits, like boosting collagen and moisture, without affecting the rest of the body.

The three main types of creams

1. Prescription oestrogen creams

Contain real hormones like oestriol or oestradiol. They must be prescribed and used under medical guidance.

2. Over-the-counter phytoestrogen creams

Phytoestrogens, which subtly mimic oestrogen, are generally suitable for people who want to avoid hormones. They contain plant-derived compounds, such as wild yam and soybeans.

3. MEP-based skincare (Methyl Estradiolpropanoate)

Non-hormonal, MEP mimics oestrogen’s effects in the skin and binds to oestrogen receptors — boosting collagen, hydration, and elasticity — without entering the bloodstream or acting like a hormone elsewhere in the body.

Now that we’ve covered the types of creams available – from prescription hormones to clever mimics and plant-based formulas – let’s take a closer look at a few products making their way into skincare routines, both prescribed and over-the-counter options.

Ovestin (Prescription oestriol cream)

What you need to know:

Ovestin is a genuine prescription oestrogen cream, originally intended to treat vaginal atrophy, but increasingly being explored (off‑label) for facial skin thinning linked to menopause.

Its active oestriol helps stimulate collagen, boost hydration, and improve dermal thickness, making it one of the few reparative options for menopausal skin. That said, it’s real medicine and must be used under medical guidance.

Hormonal activity: Yes – contains true oestriol 🙂

Hydration support: Yes – offers solid dermal hydration

Skin barrier support: Yes – strengthens fragile skin

Collagen support: Yes – clinically supportive due to the topical presence of oestriol

Caution for sensitive skin: Use with care – requires medical oversight

Best suited for women needing targeted hormonal skin repair

My take?

If you're serious about addressing menopausal skin thinning, then seek the advice of your GP, Ovestin might be a powerful ally.

Alloy M4 Cream (Prescription oestriol cream)

What you need to know:

Alloy M4 packages low‑dose oestriol in a modern menopause‑care programme. It targets thinning, fine lines, and elasticity loss. Potent, promising, but still firmly prescription‑only.

Hormonal activity: Yes – true estriol 🙂

Hydration support: Yes – strong moisture replenishment

Skin barrier support: Yes – restorative

Collagen support: Yes – collagen support included

Caution for sensitive skin: Use with care – hormone-sensitive users take note

Best suited for women wanting structured hormonal therapy

My take:

Comprehensive and clinician‑led – but, again, a conversation with the online doctor at Alloy4 and your medical doctor, not your beauty therapist.

Emepelle Night Cream (MEP-based, non-hormonal)

What you need to know:

Emepelle uses MEP to mimic oestrogen in the skin without systemic hormones. Add retinoids, peptides, and hyaluronic acid for a serious, multifaceted menopausal skin treatment.

Hormonal activity: No – indirect through mimicking natural hormones 🙂

Hydration support: Yes – excellent

Skin barrier support: Yes – reinforces resilience

Collagen support: Yes – thanks to retinoids + peptides

Caution for sensitive skin: Use with care – retinoids can irritate the skin

Best suited for women wanting hormone-free, science-backed rejuvenation

My take:

The clever workaround is great if you want the benefits of oestrogen without the baggage, but it is not cheap. You will pay a lot more for the luxurious formulation of this cream. If you opt for Emerpelle, ease it in, as the inclusion of retinoids might bite.

Musely The Ageing Repair Cream (Prescription estriol + Vitamin C)

What you need to know:

Musely combines prescription estriol with brightening Vitamin C. Think collagen kick-starter plus antioxidant shield. Potent, prescription, not cheap, but this combination would provide impressive results when monitored by a clinician.

Hormonal activity Yes – true estriol 🙂

Hydration support: Yes – excellent

Skin barrier support: Yes – robust

Collagen support: Yes – when used consistently

Caution for sensitive skin: Use with care – medical supervision essential

Best suited for women who are ready for medical-grade intervention.

My take:

A heavy hitter. Fantastic if you qualify medically – but don’t expect spa-like indulgence; this is hard-working pharma-skin-care.

Antipodes Jasmine Flower Menopause Facial Cream (Non-hormonal)

What you need to know:

It is fragrant, plant-based, and pleasant. Available over the counter, it provides light hydration and a sensorial ritual, but no hormonal action and minimal barrier rebuilding. It is fine for mild dryness, but not for serious dermal loss.

Hormonal activity: No 👎

Hydration support: Yes – adequate

Skin barrier support: Use with care – minimal improvement

Collagen support: No, not designed for this

Caution for sensitive skin: Use with care – fragrance may irritate

Best suited for anyone wanting a natural, feel-good moisturiser.

My take:

Lovely scent, lovely texture, but if your skin has lost its bounce post-menopause, this won’t save you. Nice enough – nothing more.

ESK Repair+ (Barrier support, non-hormonal)

What you need to know:

Loaded with ceramides, cholesterol, fatty acids, and soothing niacinamide, ESK Repair+ is rehab for a broken barrier. It doesn’t contain actives that ‘push’ the skin; just calming ingredients that rebuild and restore it.

Hormonal activity No 👎

Hydration support: Yes – deep and lasting

Skin barrier support: Yes – outstanding

Collagen support: Indirectly

Caution for sensitive skin: Yes – formulated for fragile skin 🙂

Best suited for Women needing to support the skin before getting into other, more potent active skincare ingredients.

My take:

You can’t stimulate collagen if your barrier is disrupted or weakened. ESK Repair+ is a sensible starting point before you jump on the active-ingredient highway.

My final thoughts?

Topical oestrogen isn’t for everyone, and whether it’s right for you is something only you and your doctor can decide. But if you’re comfortable with the idea and curious enough to try, why not see where it leads?

For me, it feels like a smart move. Safe, sensible, and – if it helps support my skin’s structure and slow the march of time just a little – then that’s a win I’ll happily take.

What do you think? Already there, or just thinking about it, or not for you? Let me know in the comments.

See you next time,

Leave a comment

This is the beginning of a new series here on The Beauty Issue.

Over the coming weeks on The Sunday Edition, I’ll be exploring ageing, ageism, visibility, and self-worth – especially as they relate to women.

Not in the way the beauty industry likes to frame it. But in the way we actually live it.

Because ageing isn’t a flaw, and visibility shouldn’t be something earned by attempting to stay young.

These essays are about all the ways we stay present, relevant, and real in spite of it all and most of all enjoy life.

Beyond our ageist bias.

We’re told to love ourselves. To practise self-acceptance.

But is applying a hydrating mask on a Sunday night really an act of radical self-love

Of course, it’s not.

Sure, making time for yourself and practising self-care is a great start, especially if you spend more hours than you care to admit nurturing others.

But self-love – real self-love – is more nuanced and, at times, complicated.
It asks more of us than a beauty ritual or a list of affirmations.

And as we age, it becomes harder.

Faced with being relegated to the back row as we age, self-love and acceptance become life-saving.

But wait a minute, self-acceptance? Do I accept myself regardless of my flaws?

If I acknowledge my flaws – physical and otherwise – without scrutiny and decide I’m okay with them, is that enough, it that really the self-acceptance I should be striving for?

Is acceptance enough?

What if there are things that need changing? What if I need to change? What if you do? Let’s face it – we could all do with a tweak, and I’m not talking about Botox or dermal fillers.

We all want to be better in some way. A better listener. A loving parent. A more present son or daughter. A kinder friend or partner.

All the ways we should improve ourselves could amount to a very long list.

But of course, we are human – and along with self-acceptance comes compassion.
It’s okay to be flawed. It’s who you are. Just… try not to be too annoying.

And while those things matter, for women, self-improvement is often more than just how we show up in the world. It’s about how we present ourselves, how we look, our appearance.

And we keep getting older. This comes with its own set of challenges.

And forget about ageing on the glaring view of the public stage, expecting to remain relevant unless you’ve augmented yourself into something younger, while fending off how incredibly cruel society can be.

This is why the conversation around self-acceptance can feel so one-dimensional.
We are told to accept ourselves as we are… while quietly demanding we stay young and wrinkle-free and, at the same time, be likeable and agreeable. You know, perfect!

And to be clear, this isn’t gender-based. The pressure and judgement women place upon each other can be the cruellest – and the hardest to live up to.

I’ve reached a point, at 65, where I know acceptance of how my face and body age is more important than what I do to preserve them.

So, what does it mean to accept yourself as you age?

I’ve reached a point, at 65, where I know acceptance of how my face and body age is more important than what I do to preserve them.

Naturally, I still do all the things that make me feel hopeful and confident, you know, skincare, skin needling, LED light, and other non-surgical treatments.

Not because I want to erase the years (okay, that’s a lie, I do), but perhaps a truer statement is in my belief that it’s important to care regardless of age. For me, part of that care is self-acceptance. It’s not always easy, but it’s a life-affirming way to live. Right?

I’m not interested in altering how I look. I want to feel like myself. Just the best version I can be, on my terms. But if I ever choose to or you do, that’s cool; this is not about judgment.

I say this because the desire to feel confident in your skin is hard-won in a world that leaves older women feeling invisible or judges them harshly when they attempt to remain youthful and seen.

As Cher once said, when questioned on her cosmetic surgery, at first, attempting to justify herself, eventually, in frustration, she responded:

“If I want to put my boobs on my back, it’s nobody’s business but my own.”

Amen to that, Cher.

This is where we meet ageism

We are, most of us, guilty of it.

We all, regardless of gender, discriminate against our future selves.

Ageism might be the last great prejudice to confront – because, if we live long enough, it’s the only one we’re all destined to face.

But we don’t recognise it when we’re young. It’s not personal yet. We’re biologically wired to overlook what we think doesn’t concern us.

It’s never going to happen to us, until one day, it does.

We don’t see older women.

We don’t want to.

And then one day… We are them

It’s a subtle shift. Quiet at first and then… You hear it.

The comments are well-meaning, but they land like a thud on the sometimes impenetrable glass ceiling – never quite breaking through, just hitting us where it hurts.

I’ve never liked the “You look amazing for your age” comment.

It translates to a judgment. Even if I strive for youthful skin, I don’t want to be judged by my age – whether I look good or bad (for my age) should be of no consequence.

I once believed I wouldn’t become invisible. I’d remain seen, relevant, and involved.

But there’s no denying that when I walk down the street or into a crowded room, I’ve become somewhat invisible – at least to the generation stepping forward.

Sometimes, I question it. Is it me and how I choose to be, or is it the unconscious bias of ageism? I don’t mind. It’s someone else’s turn.

But that doesn’t mean we should hide away.

We still have a rightful place in the world. It’s just not where it once was – and to be honest, once you get over being unseen, it’s quite liberating.

The women who refuse to vanish

While becoming invisible may be inevitable, not all women vanish with age.
Some choose to remain visible, powerful, and deeply present.
But that visibility often comes at a cost.

Jane Fonda, for example, is still brilliantly sharp and politically fearless at 87.
She continues to challenge systems, advocate for climate justice, and show up for women.
But she’s also been frank about undergoing plastic surgery.

“I had a facelift and I stopped because I don’t want to look distorted,” she told Vogue.
“I’m not proud of the fact that I had [one].”

Jane Fonda

I wish she’d been as bold as Cher, but she’s not alone in her shame. It should not be that way. She’s aware of the tension, wanting to remain visible in a culture that so often equates relevance with youth.

At 81, Martha Stewart appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated in a swimsuit, a move that generated headlines. Honestly, when that issue went public, like many, I had to do a double-take!

It was part celebration, part challenge: I’m still here. I still matter.

In interviews, she said she hoped the cover would inspire people “to try new things, no matter what stage of life you’re in.” I couldn’t agree more!

And then there’s Jane Goodall, recently featured on the cover of Vogue Philippines, every wrinkle intact.

No cosmetic reinvention. No curated glamour. Just the quiet confidence of a woman whose work speaks for itself.

These women have not escaped the gaze or the weight of societal pressure, but they’ve negotiated it in different ways.

Adapting. Subverting. Or, just simply carrying on.

There’s no single roadmap to ageing well.

But if there is a lesson here, it might be that visibility in later life isn’t just about how we look.

It’s about staying engaged and curious. Not accepting society’s rules, while we accept ourselves as we are.

As Jane Fonda has said:

“It’s more important to be interested than to be interesting.”

A quiet liberation

And despite all the challenges and emotional hurdles, there is something strangely freeing about it.

Yep, it’s worth repeating: Overcoming the fear of ageing can be quite liberating.

That liberation – of not caring as much what others think, of slipping out of the gaze - is a quiet gift of ageing. See, there’s always a silver lining if you look for it.

But it doesn’t come without grief. Or reflection. Or a reckoning with who we once were and who we choose to become.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll explore ageing, ageism, and how we navigate visibility, self-worth, and beauty in a world that still struggles to see us.

If self-love is to mean anything, especially as we grow older, perhaps it should go a little deeper than a sheet mask on a Sunday night.

I’d like to think it’s a way of living, not just another serum we reach for in our bathroom cabinet, no matter how good it is!

Now that’s radical.

Perhaps no one embodies all this more than Dr Jane Goodall – pictured here on the cover of the April edition of Vogue Philippines, her face unaltered, her presence undimmed.

A serenely beautiful woman comfortable in her skin. Now, in her 90s, she is still working, still travelling, and still showing up fully as herself.

No reinvention. Just quiet, steady determination. I love it! How about you?

Thanks for reading The Sunday Edition.

Before you go, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Does any of this resonate with you?

Have you experienced ageism, or one of those well-meaning compliments that don’t quite land the way it was intended?

I’d love to hear from you. Join the conversation.

Leave a comment

See you next time,

If you’ve enjoyed reading The Sunday Edition of The Beauty Issue, please consider inviting other like-minded people to join the conversation.

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So, Ella Baché sent me a selection of their cult favourites for an article highlighting the importance of updating your skincare when the seasons change and you experience disruptions in your skin due to dry winter conditions.

As I write, winter is a few months away, and preparing your skin now is a good idea, especially if your skin tends to suffer during winter. The pots of cream sent to me are creamy creams—because, well, that’s their signature: rich, lanolin-based moisturisers. I’ll come back to why lanolin is such a hero ingredient in a moment, but let me give you a bit of context on my association with Ella Baché.

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I used to work for Ella Baché. I trained as an Ella Baché therapist, and honestly? As many on the outside would say, I was in the cult. I loved it. However, after ten years, like all things, my time with Ella Baché came to an end. For a long time after that, I thought my career in the skincare industry was over. After a few years away, upon my return, I found that the skincare industry had undergone significant changes during my absence; one of the most notable was the emergence of active or cosmeceutical skincare.

Moisture Protectives versus everything else

Ella Baché would never claim to be a cosmeceutical, but even so, there’s something special about Ella Baché moisturisers. Or, to be more exact, Moisture Protectives, which were created not so much to plump up the skin with hydration but to help your skin hold onto the moisture it already has within the skin matrix.

The truth is, your skin knows what it’s doing. It’s not always necessary to add a serum. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your skin is take the proper measures to protect what’s already there.

This is where Ella Baché moisture-protective creams shine. They create a beautiful, occlusive layer over the skin—they don’t smother it—they support it. They reinforce the skin's barrier function, which is crucial for maintaining its health, calmness, and resilience. And the secret? Lanolin.

Let's talk about the sheep in the room, shall we?

Before you scoff, lanolin is incredible because it closely mimics the natural lipids in your skin’s barrier. It’s conditioning, nourishing, and protective. And this isn’t any old lanolin off the sheep’s back; nope, it’s a pure grade, highly refined and beautifully whipped and blended with other skin-loving ingredients and feels amazing on the skin.

But, here's the thing: if you’re new to these creamy, lanolin-based moisturisers, there are a few things worth keeping in mind to get the most out of them.

Things to remember when using Ella Baché moisture protectives:

• Warm it up first. Lanolin-based creams can feel firm when cold, so always warm the cream between your fingers before applying. It will melt slightly with your body heat and spread more easily.

• Less is more. If you don’t warm it first, you’ll likely use too much or struggle to get adequate coverage across your skin.

• Massage it in. Take your time and treat it like a self-care ritual—gently massage the cream into your skin to help it absorb while boosting circulation.

• Think barrier care. These creams aren’t just about hydration—they're designed to support and protect your skin’s natural barrier.

• Perfect partner for actives. Use them to buffer potent treatments like retinol to reduce the chance of irritation.

What about Serums?

Now, you might be wondering, what about serums? For a long time, Ella Baché chose not to step into the active or cosmeceutical skincare space, not because they weren’t trailblazers—they were. Still, they held back on adding potent formulas with retinol and AHAs, such as glycolic acid, to their extensive skincare offering.

I’m not privy to the reasons, but knowing the brand as I do, it was never their style to chase trends —more likely, it was a deliberate wait-and-see approach. But here we are in the 21st century, and there’s no avoiding it. They now have a Retinol Nourishing Treatment Oil that is absolutely off the charts in its effectiveness.

It’s a luxuriously rich retinol oil that improves texture, tone, and overall skin clarity. It's gentle enough for daily use, yet with a concentration that provides noticeable results.

It’s brilliant for two reasons. First, it’s potent—you know you’re getting the real benefits of retinol. Second, it’s in an oil-based formula, which your skin will love. Oils absorb beautifully, they feel luxurious, and they often result in better absorption into the skin.

But here’s the thing: When you get better penetration, you also get more retinol hitting your skin. This is a cautionary tale, as I found it quite potent. I reacted (probably because I always overdo it — why do I do that?). But that’s where Ella Baché’s moisture protective creams come to the rescue.

If you buffer your retinol—meaning you mix it or layer it with a moisturising cream—you can ease the active retinol into the skin at a slower pace, reducing the redness and irritation that often accompany potent retinol formulas. Your skin starts to build tolerance over time, and before you know it, you’re getting all the benefits of retinol without the drama.

Their Moisture Protectives are perfect for this. Whether it’s Crème Tomate, with the bountiful tomato extract rich in vitamin C, or Crème Jojoba, another ingredient highly compatible with the skin. Or one of the many moisture protectives in their range, they’re designed to calm, condition, and protect.

A Legacy Brand for the Ages.

So, if you’ve been dealing with dryness, dehydration, or a compromised skin barrier, and you’re constantly chasing results but not seeing them, perhaps it’s time to return to basics with Ella Baché.

It’s a legacy brand for a reason, boasting a cult following that spans nine decades. Even in a market overflowing with newness, Ella Baché can proudly hold its place as one of the quiet achievers in the skincare industry.

I loved revisiting these moisture-protective creams. If you think you need to upgrade your skincare for the cooler months, when your skin can become stressed, irritated, and dehydrated, you might want to try Ella Baché. If that’s the case, head over to my blog, where I've written a product review featuring a selection of their cult classics.

Read it here →

See you next time,

The Beauty Issue is an independent newsletter created by Julie Lardner.

I am dedicated to researching, writing, and publishing high-quality articles, and I rely on the support of readers like you to sustain this work.

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When the seasons shift, so can the condition of your skin. Yep, dry winter skin. Ugh!! It can feel drier, tighter, and more reactive, especially when transitioning between heated indoor spaces and cooler outdoor air. What your skin needs is support, not environmental stress. And that’s exactly where Ella Baché comes in. A Legacy Brand, […]

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