The change in weather is a good reminder to make changes in your own life as well.

Here are my tips for how to maximize the opportunity for a fall refresh of your writing life.

Make a Dream List

As soon as my kids were back to school, the first thing I did was spend time thinking about what projects I wanted to work on and what new ideas were percolating. I made a long list of concepts that came to me, giving myself the freedom to dream big and also to be a bit vague at the dreaming stage.

Sit down and do this. Suspend all judgment and just dream. What would you write if you just write and didn’t have to worry about selling it, audience, marketing, etc.?

I always find a notebook rather than a computer to be ideal for this. I sit and doodle and dream and jot down ideas in half-formed, uncritiqued phrases.

Give yourself a couple days to noodle on this and let new ideas surface.

Create a Schedule

Just as September brought a new class schedule when you were younger, it now brings the opportunity to rethink your daily schedule. Blocking out time for writing each day or each week is important if you want to move your projects along.

People often think they will get around to it when they feel inspired. But I find that inspiration is much more likely to show up if I make room for it in my life.

Put it on your calendar. Commit to writing at certain times.

Clear Out Old Projects

We all have old projects hanging around that we’ve never brought to fruition and which feel like little nags, waiting for us to get to them. This is the time to make a list of everything you have in limbo and then go down the list and decide which if any you are done with and which you feel strongly that you want to move forward with.

Get a Fresh Perspective on Existing Works in Progress

If you have WIPs that you intend to move forward with, this is a good time to get a fresh perspective on them. That can reenergize you and help you jump in and move them forward. Here are a few ways to do that:

• Ask a friend to read it and give you feedback

• Print it out and read it on actual pages instead of digitally

• Read it out loud

Change One Writing Habit

Changing up just one habit in your writing life can give you a seismic shift. For example, decide you are going to write for an hour before you read your emails every morning. Or decide that you are going to work on revising a WIP before working on newer shinier projects each day.

Give Yourself Permission

Give yourself permission to write sloppy, to write something silly, to write in a different voice, to test out a new genre, to do a complete redo of something — shake things up, do things that feel a little weird, and do it without judgment.

Plan a Reading List

Choose 2 to 3 books that will expose you to new genres, different takes on your subjects, or teach you something new that can help you in your writing. Make time each week to read your assignments and think about how you can use that information or exposure to improve your own work.

NEW NEW NEW

I have an exciting piece of news. I have created a line of unique and witty shirts and sweatshirts for readers and writers. We’ve worked hard at this, from carefully choosing quality products (I specifically wanted both unisex and women’s sizes as well as a lightweight sweatshirt for women) to creating sayings that are different from everything out there, yet connect with what we as writers and readers think and feel. I hope you will check it out.

In My World

Both of my kids were home for a weekend, and my daughter is still here for the week, so my heart is full.

Obsessed With…

I just finished Alan Opts Out by Courtney Maum. It’s a funny, light read about a family in a high-pressure private community. The mom is trying to join the local women’s organization and present a perfect front to the world, while her husband has a life crisis and goes overboard with a “less is more” lifestyle, and her two daughters fail to fit into the perfect roles she envisioned for them.

Good Goods

I’m in love with my new cute little label maker. It connects to my phone and is compact and perfect for the kitchen drawer. I bought one for each child as well.

Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

I get it. I ask AI to help me do some things too. It’s quick, it’s easy, and it looks pretty.

But I can instantly tell when AI wrote a proposal instead of the author. And agents and publishers can tell, too.

Why It’s a Red Flag

There’s a huge awareness about AI in the publishing world now, and publishers don’t want to even consider working with an author who isn’t writing their own material. If you don’t write your own proposal, it’s likely you’re not going to write your own book in their eyes. And that means it’s an instant ‘no.’

It’s absolutely fine to use AI for research, brainstorming, and even for help finding some wording or to help you format things. But an AI-written proposal is obvious, and it’s going to result in an instant pass for your book.

Here’s how I can tell if it’s AI.

The Appearance

The first clue is it’s too pretty. AI proposals have a lot of bells and whistles to make them look fancy. Nobody cares about boxes and font and colors. It’s the content that matters. In fact, if you create something that looks like a high-design corporate report, you’re just flagging it as lacking in content.

AI tends to make paragraphs all the same length and balance the lengths of the sections. Humans don’t do that.

Repetition

AI-written proposals tend to repeat the same things over and over in different ways. The AI seems to think that if it doesn’t have actual content, it should just keep restating and rephrasing the same things.

Overstating Things

AI proposals tend to speak in grandiose terms, framing books as ultimate solutions but without any specificity. It doesn’t dive into how the book will impact a clear audience. It just generalizes about how important it is.

Stilted Language

When AI writes a book proposal, it speaks very formally, using a lot of big words and long sentences. Nothing about it reads conversationally, warmly, sincerely, or honestly. There is a human vibe that’s missing and you as an author are not able to display your unique voice.

Formulaic Phrasing

AI proposals often say things like this is not just a book about x, it’s a comprehensive guide to Y. This formula is used a lot throughout.

Lack of Specificity

AI has trouble identifying niche audiences and drilling down into the real problems actual people have, so it tends to talk in general terms and identify broad, overly general audiences. You need to do a lot of work to identify and quantify your audience. AI can help you with the research and give you ideas, but ultimately it cannot understand your audience better than you can.

Voice Mismatch

It’s common to have AI help you with the proposal but write the sample chapters yourself. When you do that, there’s a glaring mismatch between the voice of the proposal and the sample chapters.

It Doesn’t Stick With You

AI writing seems to make sense while you’re reading it, but you cannot remember much about it afterward. It’s devoid of human connection. It looks cute, is written well, but it just does not connect in the same way as human prose.

Why I Don’t Care If You Use AI for Your Proposal

All of that being said, I know that there are lots of people who would never write or finish a book proposal without AI help. I’m not going to bash you for it. If it helps you put together the structure and define the book, great. I’m all for using whatever tools you need to get your book out there. There is no shame in using AI to help you do that.

But you should have someone who knows how to write book proposals edit it for you. There are ways to punch it up and rehabilitate the AI tells, and I can help you do that. I don’t demonize AI users. If it helps you, that’s great. But let’s do a little work so that your proposal is not rejected out of hand by agents and publishers.

In My World

I was delighted to get an advance copy of client Gwen Mayes’s wonderful book More Person Than Patient, coming out in November from Mayo Clinic Press. This is the guidebook for anyone coping with a chronic illness. Gwen is not just a patient; she’s also a lawyer, physician assistant, and health care policy expert who teaches readers how to cope with practical advice, humor, personal stories, other patient stories, and research.

We had our first night out after getting the new puppy. I had a dogsitter stay with her for several hours while we drove 2.5 hours each way to the Ed Sheeran concert in Toronto. It was fun and a good practice run for our upcoming trip when the dogsitter will stay here.

The big news in my life is I’ve taken a spot at a creator’s market locally where I’ll be selling my literary-themed art, my own books, my other creative projects (which include driftwood creations and jeweled trees, as well as my writer inspiration products), as well as vintage books and other vintage finds. My Etsy stores (RuthandOliveHome and TheBookFoundry) are booming, so it’s time to dip my toe in the water of having an in-person presence.

I’ve also been working on a new product line I can’t wait to introduce. News about that will be coming soon. It’s specifically designed for writers and readers. I am SO excited about it.

Obsessed With…

I strongly recommend Maria Semple’s Go Gentle, which I finished this week. Clever, unexpected, fun, and quirky, it follows a professional philosopher who becomes embroiled in the art world and related plots, dangers, and romance. Not your average mystery, not your average protagonist - this book is creative, amusing, and will keep you reading.

I also recommend Killer Vibes by Jack Friday. When an unambitious, low-key pot dealer gets kicked out of the garage he’s living in, he is instantly embroiled in a family member’s high-stakes, high-money drama and ends up working with a PI to figure it all out. It’s delightful fun with a compelling mystery moving things along. It’s meant to be the first in the series, and I’ll be following along to see how it progresses.

I confess I am finally watching Ted Lasso. I tried when it first came out and could not get into it, but this time around I think I like it.

Good Goods

If you don’t have curly hair, you can skip this section (but if you have a curly friend, get this for them as a gift!). The Bounce Curl Brush has changed my life. And that is not an exaggeration. I thought it was going to be stupid, but my hair stylist used it on me, and it changed my hair from a frizzy mess into nicely formed curls. You put product in your hair, then brush your hair in sections, tipping it sideways so the hair pulls through the special side combs, then you dry it. This is one of the best things I’ve ever bought.

Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

But if you’re a nonfiction writer, this is not advice you should follow.

Yes, the book should be about something you LIKE, care about, or are skilled in. But it’s not a book for YOU to read.

When you’re writing a nonfiction book, you’re the expert. You’re the one who knows everything in the book and is teaching or sharing it with others. It’s not a book that is going to teach you things, but it will for your audience.

Audience Is Key

Yes, you will probably learn some things as you research your book or change how you think or feel about things as you write it, but you are not the audience.

It’s crucial that you have a clearly developed idea of who your audience is because you want to include information they need or want and provide it in a way that appeals to them (not to you).

Understand who they are, what they need and want to know, and how to explain things so that they can understand and use the information effectively.

Dumb It Down

Writing for your intended audience may mean you have to dumb things down a little. Yes, you can still write for an intelligent, savvy, smart reader, but you have to remember they are not an expert in your subject area.

There are concepts, ideas, and processes that are automatic for you and which you take for granted. You must spell those out for your reader.

This is one of the biggest mistakes experts make when writing a book. As an expert, it’s really hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who knows little or nothing about your topic or subject area. But in most cases, that’s who you are writing for. I find that many of my expert authors are so deeply enmeshed in their subject that it’s challenging for them to step out of their own heads and write for people who aren’t at the same level as they are.

Doing so means adjusting your vocabulary, explaining background information, and breaking things down so that it is easily understandable. It means talking to your reader the same way you would talk to someone at a party or over coffee, explaining things in a clear and easy-to-understand way.

Architecting the Book

It’s not enough to just tell people what you know. You have to structure it in a way that guides them to learn it. Bullet lists, boxes, graphics, exercises, reflection boxes, tools, and other visually exciting and mentally challenging items are absolutely key.

Place elements in the book that give the reader some visual space to take a breath and that allow them to absorb and relate to the information you’re giving.

New Inspiration for Writers

I’ve listed a new inspirational product for writers. We all have moments when we hit the wall when working on a book. There are times when you want to hit delete, scream, cry, or bang your head on the desk.

Help is here! I’ve put together a “break in case of emergency” tool for you. When you’re in despair, open one of the quotes from famous writers about their own tough moments. You’ll feel less alone and find the strength to move ahead.

Check out my other writer inspiration products as well.

In My World

Last week I talked about how most of my authors are all waiting to hear back. Well, two are moving forward. Congrats to Niki Sterner on the publication of Move Forward Messy, a terrific book about achieving your dreams without getting stuck in the perfection trap.

And congrats to Kristi Ottis for signing a contract for her book Love Lives On, a beautiful book relying on her therapist and mediumship skills, designed to help people through grief using traditional, established grief therapy and discussion about how to connect with loved ones after they are gone.

I am so proud of both of these women who worked so hard to bring their concepts to fruition.

Obsessed With…

Last week I had just started Summerland Cove by Ellen Baker. I finished it and highly recommend it as a great beach read. Family drama, summer memories, Maine lobster, coastal landscape and a bit of romance. Just perfect for your beach bag for Labor Day.

I am now reading Go Gentle by Maria Semple (author of Where’d You Go Bernadette, which I loved), and I had to force myself to turn the Kindle off and go to sleep last night. I wanted to keep reading. It is so so so good. The protagonist is a quirky professional philosopher who lives in the Ansonia (of Only Murders in the Building fame) and is cobbling together an aging-in-place plan with other women who all own on her floor and share services. Don’t sleep on this one.

Good Goods

I am starting to think about an upcoming trip we are taking and assessing all of my travel supplies. As always, I pack a lot of hand sanitizer, but hand sanitizer cannot kill nasty bugs like norovirus (which is why it’s always such a problem on cruise ships). You have to actually wash your hands and strip the germs off physically. But you can’t always access soap and water. So I decided to try a new product called Nowata. It’s a gel you rub on your hands, and it dries and peels off. Did you ever coat your hands in Elmer’s glue and peel it off as a kid? Kind of like that. It’s not as convenient as hand sanitizer, but if you can’t get to a sink and you’re worried about something like norovirus, it’s a decent alternative.

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But many people who write books create them as a sales pitch, a marketing tool, or a resource for clients.

These are two very different purposes, and that means that the books themselves end up being quite different.

If you’re considering writing a book to support or increase your business, there are some key things you need to know.

Don’t Give It All Away

This is probably the most important thing to keep in mind. You’re not writing a book that is meant to provide a complete resource. You don’t want to tell people everything you know and all your secrets for $24.99.

Instead, the book should serve as proof that you know your stuff, that you are an expert or professional, and that you can solve their problems.

To do that, you do have to offer some information, knowledge, tips, and tools. But you should not give it all away in this book. There is a difficult balance to be struck that creates a book with enough value for the reader without undercutting your own unique services. The book HAS to be more than a sales pitch for you. You must give them something of value as a takeaway or they aren’t going to keep reading and they definitely aren’t going to hire you.

Position Yourself as the Expert

The book should convince someone that you are skilled, competent, experienced, and a great person to work with. To do that, you need to hit just the right note of confidence, warmth, authority, persuasiveness, and trustworthiness. This can be challenging to achieve. You don’t want to be a know-it-all, but at the same time you need to display your knowledge and competency.

After all, the whole point of this book is to sell YOU. So you have to show them what you know and can do so that they feel confident in your abilities.

Have a Call to Action

Decide what outcome you want from people reading the book. Do you want them to make an appointment with your company? Call for more information? Request a quote?

Make it clear what they should do next to take the next step. You must make a sales pitch for your services, but you should be careful not to overemphasize this. Tell them how they can take the next step, but don’t beat them over the head.

Some people end each chapter with a call to action. I think that’s too aggressive. Your reader isn’t stupid. They know you’re trying to sell them something. You don’t have to beat them over the head with it. Make it their idea. But at the same time, make it easy for them to reach out to you. Have a link they can click to send you an email or to go to a form on your site or to ask you to call them. Put that information in the front and the end of the book.

Make the Book Shareable

To get these kinds of books, people usually have to complete a form submitting their name and email address. You want that information. But you also want them to be able to send the book to their friend and say “hey, you need to read this.” If you don’t make the file shareable, you’re limiting this kind of organic marketing.

In My World

The publishing world is always slow in August, which is hard for authors who have projects they are waiting to hear about. Several of my authors are in this limbo right now and I feel for them.

Here at puppy central, we have been working hard at potty training and practicing basic commands. We’ve made a lot of progress in a month. Cammie is a very sweet, good-natured puppy.

Obsessed With…

I’m on season 2 of Lioness on Paramount+ and really liking it. It’s about a secret sector of the CIA that trains women to specifically infiltrate targets. Nicole Kidman is in it, and Zoe Saldana, and they are so, so good.

I’m reading Summerland Cove by Ellen Baker. Set in midcoast Maine, it’s a terrific beach read. I’m only about 25% into it, but there are lots of family dynamics and a spouse who has gone missing.

Good Goods

I’m in love with my ice cream vase. It’s the perfect hint of summer whimsy. Amazon says it’s a frequently returned item. It’s quite large and maybe that’s why. I have sunflowers in mine and it’s perfect. I get a lot of compliments on it because it’s so unusual and strikes just the right fun note.

I went on a frenzy around the house with these silicone dots. I cannot stand art that hangs crookedly. So I stuck these on the bottom corners of things and it makes them stay in place. Your OCD needs this!

Note: Some of the links in this post may provide me with a small referral fee.

Have a Talk With Yourself

Finding a home for your book could take months. It is not an instant, fast process. Everyone you are submitting to is overwhelmed with submissions. And if you’re submitting in the summer or in December, the publishing world is mostly on pause so it’s going to take even longer.

Remind yourself that it takes patience to sell a book. And it takes fortitude. You have to keep trying. Don’t give up. If you believe in your book, someone else will too. You just have to find them. You’re most likely not going to get a fast reponse.

Expand Your Submission List

If it’s been several months and there’s no action, it’s time to take a look at where you submitted and where you didn’t. Add agents and publishers to your list that you initially chose not to contact.

There may also be agents who were closed to submission when you made your first list who are now open, so go back and check that.

There could be an agent looking to expand into a new genre. There might be a publisher with a sudden hole in their catalog. Take the long shots. Lower your standards and your wish list. Spread the net further.

Take a Look at Your Proposal

Review your proposal. Where is it strong? Where is it weak? Try to improve the weak spots. It can be helpful to ask AI for suggestions or to have a seasoned book proposal editor help you (I’m available to do a book proposal assessment).

Has anything changed since you created it? For example, you might have grown your social media platform or created a Substack. Maybe you gave a speech or made an important connection. Add that in.

Has the world changed? Are there any recent events, news, or cultural events that relate to your topic that you can link it to? This will make the book seem more needed and more urgent.

Do you still love your sample chapters? Think about writing different sample chapters that could give a better look at what makes the book so compelling.

Make sure you are driving home that there is a huge problem, this book solves that problem, and I am the perfect person to write this book.

Shift Gears

Waiting to sell a book can drive you crazy. Therefore, I find it helpful to turn my attention elsewhere. A watched pot never boils.

Start a new book. Find other creative ventures. Think about other projects you might want to do. Fill the empty, waiting space with energy and optimism. Continue to evolve as a writer.

A lot of writers find that they end up selling their second book idea. At this point, you know how to write a proposal and are more confident. Sometimes the first book idea is just a warm-up exercise. Be open to new projects and to moving those forward.

Consider Some Other Options

If you’ve exhausted all your submission options, consider either self-publishing or working with a hybrid publisher.

If you self-publish, you finish the book, get it formatted, and upload it to Amazon yourself. You then market your book yourself.

To choose a hybrid publisher, you investigate the options, learn about costs and services (you pay them some money upfront and they publish your book and pay you royalties), and find a package you feel comfortable with.

Both of these options are completely legitimate, reasonable ways to bring a book into the world, and I’ve had clients do both successfully. If you are certain your book needs to exist, this is how to get it out there if traditional options don’t work.

Whatever you do, don’t give up. Believe in yourself and believe in your book.

In My World

Taking care of a new puppy has been exhausting, and we have now pinky-sworn this is the last puppy we will ever get. The usual upheaval was complicated by an allergic reaction she had to some treats, which sent everything off the rails for several days, and we are still trying to get back on track after that. But I’m trying to revel in the puppy breath and the puppy kisses and the fuzzy softness and truly soak it in. Because I will never ever put myself through this insanity again.

At my desk, several of my authors are waiting to hear back on submissions so I’m also anxiously waiting with them. I’ve started a new book of my own. And I’m spending a lot of time on my Etsy stores (one is vintage items and one is book/writing related).

Obsessed With…

I’m loving Whistler by Ann Patchett. It’s a story about lost and unexpected family connections. Beautifully written and not a storyline you could predict.

I watched Five Star Weekend, based on the Elin Hildebrand novel, on Netflix, and it was like a little Nantucket vacation. Perfect escapist viewing. Six episodes - watch one a night for a weekly mini getaway. Very fun.

Good Goods

All I’ve been buying lately is dog toys! This indoor fetch toy is soft but substantial and is meant for tossing around without damaging anything. And this outdoor chuck-it flying squirrel toy is tons of fun for fetch in the backyard.

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Note: Some links may provide me with a small referral fee.

Unfortunately, we have been down this path too many times before and know exactly how overwhelming and life-shattering the grief is. We also know that nothing makes it better. It just is. You live through it somehow. And knowing that, we decided we needed another dog because more love is never a mistake.

We welcomed 11-week-old Cammie home on Saturday, and she is adorable and sweet, and her puppy kisses are helping us heal. She is adjusting to her 7-year-old golden retriever brother and two cat friends.

So our home life has been turned upside down, not just by loss but with housetraining and trying to keep a very active little girl busy.

Yet I have work to do.

How do you write when you’re grieving, sick, taking care of kids, housetraining a puppy, working another job, or dealing with other things that make it hard to focus or find time to write?

I’ve had a lot of experience with everything on that list. For many years, I was a mom with little kids who was also a working writer. And like every family, ours has faced illness, death, moving, caring for aging parents, and, of course, losing pets.

Here are my strategies for writing in the midst of chaos and stress (whether it’s happy or sad).

Take Time Out for Life

One of the benefits of being a writer is that you work for yourself. If you need to take 5 days off to deal with something, you can. And if you need to, you should. Family always trumps work in my life.

Deal with what you need to deal with. The writing can wait.

See It as an Escape

Last week, being able to go into my office and focus on work was a distraction I desperately needed. And that’s been true in the past, whether I was raising little kids, grieving a death, unpacking boxes, or coping with other stresses.

Writing allows me to focus my entire brain on work and gives me a brief escape from life. I can lose myself in work and not have to consciously be processing whatever is going on in my life.

At those points in my life, I see writing as a gift, not an obligation. I don’t have to sit down and write, but doing so distracts me from whatever I am dealing with for a short time. And I find the reprieve to be a welcome one.

Pick an Easy Task

There are times, however, when you feel sluggish or overwhelmed or simply exhausted, but you are at a point where you have to get something productive done. Pick some low-hanging fruit. Don’t expect yourself to write something new and brilliant. Instead, maybe work on polishing a couple of pages. Or do some easy admin tasks related to writing, like sending some more query letters.

Doing something is always better than nothing, and it will get your brain in work mode if you're having a hard time shifting there yourself.

Give Yourself a Deadline

Set a requirement that you have to meet. Maybe you need to write 1000 words by noon. Or 5000 words by the end of the week. Or you have to edit your manuscript by the end of the month. Pick something that forces you to get moving. Having a deadline will spur you into action.

Write Poorly

Anne Lamott says to write shitty first drafts. When you’re overwhelmed by life, don’t hold yourself to any standard. Just dump something on the page and fix it later. It’s always easier to fix it than it is to write it perfectly. So suspend judgment. Put some stuff on the page. Fix it later. That will get you moving forward.

In general, lower your expectations. Anything you accomplish is a win. Be happy with those wins and don’t expect more of yourself.

Remember This Too Shall Pass

Whatever life has thrown at you feels overwhelming and permanent. You are certain you are never going to be normal again. And yet, if you look back, you can see that you felt this way before, and you did move forward, and you did feel better. Try to remember that.

Next week or next month, you’ll have more time or more focus.

In My World

Here’s puppy porn for you to enjoy.

Camelot (Cammie) with her patient big brother Lancelot.

Words With Friends

I love a good idiom. My husband calls me ‘farm girl’ because so many of mine seem to stem from my mom’s farming family. “Make hay while the sun shines” is one of my favorites.

Obsessed With…

I’m reading The Fine Art of Lying by Alexandra Andrews, a murder mystery on the fringes of the art world, involving an affair, a wealthy family, and a major whodunit. It’s pretty fast-paced and is keeping me guessing. It’s a fun read.

Like every other woman my age, I am watching the new Little House on the Prairie. I have watched two episodes and am not sure I can watch the rest. It’s wildly different from the books. I think that a viewer who was not obsessed with the books as a child and who didn’t read Prairie Fires to get to the heart of the truth might enjoy it. I’m constantly getting upset when things are factually wrong with this show, though.

I’m also watching the new season of Project Runway, which never disappoints!

Good Goods

We had to drive 3.5 hours to go pick up Cammie and also recently took our road trip to the Laura Ingalls Wilder home and museum in Mansfield, so we’ve spent a lot of time in the car. Sitting for that long gets tiresome. We now both use a gel cushion when the car seat feels uncomfortable. I also take it with me on planes because I find airplane seats to be super uncomfortable as well.

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Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

One of my clients has a book coming out with Wiley in the spring, and she had the book fully formed in her head but froze when it came to actually putting it on the pages. We worked together and made her dream come true.

Here are some strategies that can help you move from brilliant idea to bestselling book.

Who Is the Book For?

This is the question most people overlook, and it’s the thing that determines everything else about your book. Think about who your reader is. What problem do they have? What need are they trying to fill? What’s their pain point? What is unique about the reader that sets them apart from the rest of the world?

If you can isolate that, then you have an idea of how to structure the book. You’re going to talk to that person and give them the information they need and the solutions they seek.

Create Two Processes

One of the reasons writers spin their wheels is that they try to do two things at once: create ideas and write the book. These are really two separate processes.

Coming up with ideas is a creative, brainstorming process. It requires you to do research, think about structure, go down rabbit holes, and throw ideas around.

Writing is about taking all of that and putting it down in a way that makes sense for the reader.

It’s very hard to do both at once, and yet most people attempt this.

Treat it as two separate processes. Get your ideas and research done then set a separate time to actually write it.

Start a Junk File

Many writers freeze when they start working on their book because they are flooded with ideas and tidbits they want to include. They find it hard to focus and struggle to determine how to filter out what to put where.

The answer is you don’t know yet. So dump it all in a file.

As things come to you, add them to that file. That way you won’t forget it, you won’t lose it, and you can come back later and figure out where it fits.

Create a Rough Outline

Don’t get fussy and try to label it as chapters. Just try to make a list of the main categories of things you want to talk about. This helps you figure out what you want to say and what kind of information you want to share.

This is your “scrap paper” not your “turn in the exam paper.” It’s for your eyes only, and it’s a place to sketch things out, test out organization, and move things around.

Get Serious About a Table of Contents

Now start a new document and try to organize the concepts that are on that scrap paper into a list of 10ish (9-14) chapters. What are the big concepts? What are the big lessons? Those are your chapters.

Then look at each chapter and make a few notes about what might be in each. What are you showing, teaching, explaining? What ideas go together? What order do you want to share things in?

Write a Practice Chapter

You’ve been itching to write a book, and so it’s time to do some actual writing. Pick a chapter. Sit down and put something on the page. It’s practice. No one will see it. Don’t judge it. See what comes out. See how it feels to write about this topic.

You likely will have lots of thoughts as you’re doing this, so be sure to dump stuff in the junk file.

This is a first draft, just a chance to see how the chapters rough out.

This is a time to decide what elements you want chapters to have, such as examples, case studies, flow charts, lessons, etc. Try things out and see what feels right.

Sit with it a bit. Come back to it.

Write a Few More Chapters

Write a few more chapters that you tell yourself are just practice. It doesn’t count. See what comes out.

Now look at your practice chapters. What works? What doesn’t? What’s missing?

Polish them up a bit and see if you can get them to a point where you like them.

Write more chapters. Try to get through the outline.

Then go to your junk file. Delete things you’ve already written about. Look at what’s left. Is it relevant? Does it fit somewhere?

Once you do that, you have a complete first draft!

In My World

Thank you so much for reading my little newsletter! My goal is to provide inspiration and information for writers and also to connect. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I can share that will be helpful. If you have questions or requests, I would love to hear from you.

Summer is in full swing here. I’ve picked peas, lettuce, and strawberries from our little garden.

I did a major reorganization of my office. I got rid of an old wooden desk with drawers that came with my husband when we got married. It was too small to be useful, but I did use the storage. I replaced it with a huge Formica table and several storage units on wheels. As my career and interests grow and change, I’m spending more time creating art and inspirational products for writers. I needed a space to do that.

Speaking of which, one of my latest projects has been using driftwood from my family’s NY Finger Lakes cottage to make driftwood gardens and candleholders.

Words With Friends

I despise it when writers use the word “padded” to describe walking. “She padded across the floor.” And I would love it if people would bring back the exclamation “God’s nightgown!”

Are there words or phrases you love or hate? Leave me a comment, and I’ll include it in future issues.

Obsessed With…

I just finished Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It’s about an elderly woman with the specter of an alleged past hanging over her head who finds herself connected to a neighbor’s child and proves everyone wrong. She’s crotchety and fun. I am also 3/4 through The Radiant Dark by Alexandra Oliva, and I cannot put it down. It begins with the world receiving a transmission from intelligent life many light years away and responding, and then follows one family through the many years as the world waits for an answer. I’m completely captivated by this book.

We watched Lorne, the documentary about Lorne Michaels on Peacock, and it was really good. I didn’t know much about him, and he’s quite a character. Definitely worth a watch.

I’m also a big fan of Neil the Seal, a gigantic seal who comes back to the same NZ town every year and makes it his job to lie on top of things, knock signs over, disrupt traffic, and cause havoc. He’s all over social media and has no effs left to give.

Good Goods

Part of my artistic endeavors involves creating junk journaling kits. If you haven’t heard about junk journaling, here’s an article that explains this trend. One buyer recently bought ALL of the junk journaling kits I had for sale, so I’ve been creating more, which you can see here. I really enjoy collecting things to include in the kits and putting them together.

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Note: Some of the links in this post may provide me with a referral fee.

People want your knowledge and your perspective, but they want it in a way that feels accessible and friendly.

Use Your Everyday Professional Voice

Many of my authors work in the space they want to write about. They are speakers, consultants, business people, artists, lawyers, doctors, etc. who work every day in the field they are writing about. Instead of trying to write your book like an “author,” write it as if you are talking to the people you interact with every day, in the way that you speak to them.

Share your knowledge, opinions, and experience in the same way you do this in your work. Your book should sound conversational, as if it’s actually you, speaking out loud.

I often tell my authors to explain something in their book out loud, as if they are explaining it to the person who needs the information in real life. Record yourself. Get a transcript (use AI). Paste this into a Word document and that’s your paragraph, with some tweaks.

Read things you’ve written out loud to see if they sound like you.

Write with Authority

If you’re writing non-fiction, you must BE the authority on your topic. People are picking up your book for your expertise, your research, your experience, and your ideas. They want you to be confident and tell them what they need to know.

You can do this without sounding like an “author.”

I find that a lot of times writers slip into “author voice” when they don’t feel confident. They have doubts about their own authority, their own experience, and whether anyone is going to care about what they say. So they slip into a formal, stuffy approach because it feels professional.

For your book to succeed, you have to find a blend of knowing it all yet being accessible and conversational.

Be matter of fact. Be clear. Be competent. Be honest. Rely on what you know and do every day, and write from that place.

Show confidence when you write. Tell it like it is. Act like you know it all, even if you don’t feel like you do.

But do this in a friendly and warm way. You’re the reader’s friend. You’re their mentor, their support. You’re not lecturing them; you’re helping them.

Example

Stuffy Authortalk:

Many people find themselves trapped in cycles of emotional reactivity, unable to access the deeper wellspring of inner wisdom that exists beneath the noise of ordinary thought. When we fail to attune to the subtle signals of the self, we become estranged from our own truth, seeking validation from external sources rather than cultivating the sacred relationship within. The journey back to wholeness begins when we create space for intentional self-inquiry and compassionate witnessing.

Friendly, accessible talk:

Sometimes you get so used to reacting to everyone else’s needs, moods, and opinions that you stop checking in with yourself. You might not even realize it at first. But you notice that you seem to feel tired, resentful, anxious, or unsure why every decision feels harder than it should.

Breaking out of that cycle requires you to take a breath before you respond. Ask yourself, “What do I actually need right now?” That question may feel uncomfortable at first (because you probably have never really asked yourself that), but it helps you to start to truly connect with yourself and what your needs are before you jump to apologize, explain, justify, or defend yourself.

In My World

We took a long weekend last week and drove from Buffalo to St, Louis where we saw the Gateway Arch (more impressive than I expected). Then we moved on to the real reason for the trip - a visit to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Home and Museum in Mansfield, MO. This has been on my bucket list for a long time.

Her books were foundational for me, and for so many women of my generation. I read them over and over. Laura’s determination, her strength, her resilience, her pioneer spirit, her jealousy, her anger, her love, and her relationships all resonated with me and everyone else my age. We all identified with her and wanted to be her.

As an adult, I am fascinated by the connection between Laura and Rose, her daughter, who was instrumental in rewriting and shaping the stories and books. Rose was her editor, her ghost, and her book coach, and was a well-known writer and reporter on her own. They are Laura’s stories, but Rose was the one who helped them become the books that so captivated us, and for me now, she’s the hero of the story.

The museum is mostly about Laura, her life, and her stories. It was very moving to see the desk where she wrote most of her drafts of the books (I am obsessed with seeing other writer’s work spaces) and to see the artifacts in the museum, such as Pa’s fiddle, her clothes, lap desk, slates, dishes, and so much more. If you read the books, you’ll love visiting.

We spent a night in Branson, which is a very Vegas-like place, but we really enjoyed the Lost Canyon nature preserve tour and the incredible Native American museum on the property. We stopped in St. Louis again on the way home and had some St. Louis ribs, which were good.

Every time I manage to take a break and get away, I am reminded of how important making that mental space is. I came back with an idea for a book and a refreshed spirit.

Obsessed With…

I’m reading Like This, But Funnier by Hallie Cantor, about a TV writer who is struggling to get her next deal. She has many of the same feelings and frustrations as other types of writers, as she’s trying to get gigs and struggling with using real people’s stories in her work. It’s worth a read.

I started watching the latest season of America’s Sweethearts on Netflix, about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. It’s a delightful, mindless distraction, and I am deeply enjoying it.

Words with Friends

Welcome to my newest regular section, where I want to just talk about words. Words I love. Words I hate. Words that puzzle me. What’s going on with words. How they’re changing. How we’re using them.

This week, I heard an influencer say that she “carted” something. When did cart become a verb?

What do you think about this? Leave a comment!

Good Goods

Since I just came back from a trip, I’m still thinking about my Away Trunk suitcase. We travel A LOT. And somehow there’s this insane disconnect between luggage racks and suitcases. If you try to open your suitcase flat on a luggage rack, it barely holds it. It wobbles, it falls off. The other option is to open it up on the bed or the floor and then continue to close and open it since there’s never enough room in a hotel room to just leave it open. It drives me crazy.

The Away trunk is a bit longer and narrower than regular suitcases, and it’s deeper (it meets all airline luggage size limits, though). Here’s the deal. You set it on the luggage rack and unzip it. The zipper isn’t in the middle. It’s placed so there’s a deep compartment and a shallow compartment. You open it as a jack-in-the-box would. The main compartment sits on the luggage rack, and the lid lifts up and leans against the wall. You can fully access the deep part, and the shallow part has a zipper cover, and you stuff all sorts of things up there like shoes, books, hats, and things you don’t need easy access to. It has made traveling SO much easier. You can leave it open, and it’s not in the way, and it doesn’t topple over. You can see all of your clothes together in one compartment.

And it’s holding up. The zippers are working, the outside is not getting dinged, and the wheels are still wheeling. It’s more than I’ve ever spent on a suitcase before, but it’s worth every penny.

We bought one and love it so much we now own two. I’m thinking about a third for those long trips.

It’s on sale for Prime Days, so this is a good time to get one!

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Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

For us, rejection is nearly a daily occurrence. Any time you are trying to sell or place an article or book, you’re going to deal with rejection. It can be really hard to deal with constant nos, and it can really do a number on your self-esteem, until you learn how to think about it.

Rejections Mean Progress

No one is going to knock on your door and ask you to write them a book.

I have a Peanuts comic strip framed and hanging on my wall where Snoopy is sitting on top of his dog house with a typewriter

“Gentlemen, I have just completed my new novel.

It is so good, I am not even going to send it to you.

Why don’t you just come and get it?”

Then there’s another one:

“Gentlemen,

Yesterday I waited all day for you to come and get my novel and to publish it and make me rich and famous.

You did not show up.

Were you not feeling well?”

We all kind of wish it worked that way.

But it doesn’t.

Finding the right home for your book or article takes trial and error. You want it to find the place where it belongs, where it will be welcomed and celebrated and appreciated.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince.

Each rejection is one step closer to finding the true home for your work.

And it can start to feel overwhelming, discouraging, and soooo negative.

But you have to remind yourself it is going to take time to find the right home.

How to Talk to Yourself About Rejection

Here’s what to tell yourself when you get rejections:

• That’s ok. Someone else will want it.

• It takes time to find the right place for my work.

• It’s a waiting game.

• I believe in myself, and someone else will too.

• Getting a lot of rejections is a sign that I am working hard and putting myself out there.

• This is just one more thing to cross off the list.

• One no does not mean my work is bad.

• I believe in my project, and I just need one other person who will as well.

• This is just one more step forward towards publication.

• Every writer deals with rejections. I’m not alone.

• I will not let one person’s opinion frame my entire view of my work.

• My yes will come.

• This hurts, but I have to keep it in perspective.

• It’s good to check places off the list and move forward to the right home for my work.

How to Use Rejection Constructively

Not all rejections are bad. Some agents and editors take the time to tell you what they liked about your work (and often say it’s just not right for them). They may tell you what they see as a flaw or weakness. They may encourage you to submit again.

That’s all really useful information. And those rejections are the ones you celebrate, because they are signs you ARE on the right track.

And you can take on their critique and consider if it’s valid for you. It may be helpful. Or it may not meet your vision for your work. But it can frame how you move forward.

Detailed rejection helps you understand what editors and agents are looking for. You can choose to adjust your work or you can use that information when you send out future projects.

Information is always a good thing, so be happy when someone takes the time to give you some.

Don’t Take It Personally

The most important thing to remember is that rejection is not about YOU. It is only about your work and if it fits with the person you are querying.

There are a million reasons someone could send you a rejection that have nothing to do with the merit or quality of your work. They may not be taking on new projects now. They may have shifted their focus. They may have misunderstood what you are proposing. They may not believe it works for their audience. They may be having a bad day.

None of that has anything to do with you or your work.

Rejection is a part of putting your work into the world. There’s no avoiding it. The only way out is through. Believe in yourself. Keep going. Don’t stop writing.

In My World

Congratulations to client Justin Cohen on the publication of his book Restaurant Leadership: Lead with Mindset, Serve with Purpose. This was a long time in the works, and he didn’t give up. It’s an excellent, thoughtful guide for those in the restaurant industry from someone who has devoted his life to the industry and has a true passion for it.

I just completed two developmental edits on proposals for clients and wrote a proposal for a picture book for another. Soon they’ll be sending them out - and facing possible rejection!

As you can see by this post, rejection is something I’ve been thinking about a lot. It’s a hard thing for writers to deal with. I have one client who is submitting her queries to agents and is deep in the rejections.

To that end, I’ve created a little product to help writers get through rejections.

The Query Quest Writer Rejection Kit is designed to help you track and celebrate your journey.

You receive a wooden box with a glass lid and 50 parchment scrolls and 13 yellow scrolls held by brass rings. When you get a rejection, you write the date and the name on the slip, roll it back up and put it in the box. When you get a positive rejection (“This isn’t right for us but send us other ideas!” or “I like the concept, but would suggest XYZ…”) you write it on one of the bright yellow scrolls to signify a bright spot in the process.

The box starts to fill up. You can see your progress. When the acceptance comes, there is a key with a book charm to place on top (the key to publication). There’s also a brass colored plate with special marker to write the name of the book on and attach to the box. This serves as a companion on your journey and a trophy when you succeed.

You can buy refills of the scrolls and the brass plates for the next project. Take the used scrolls out and store them in the bag and reuse the box. Attach a second brass plate when you sell the next book.

Obsessed With…

Foster by Claire Keegan is a great little short read. It’s a refreshingly literary story about a girl in Ireland who goes to stay with a couple when her family needs help. I was worried there was going to be some awful, vivid trauma that would haunt me (I bought Dog Person by Camille Pagan, and she has a warning on the very first page which I much appreciated, and I put the book down after that because I cannot deal with dog aging/death), but that was not the case. It’s a melancholy read to be sure, but it’s beautifully written and hard to put down.

The Scoop by Erin Van Der Meer is a fun book, but definitely not in the same class. An out-of-work journalist (welcome to our reality) is desperate for a job and takes a role as a night editor at a tabloid website. I haven’t finished this yet, but I’m fully drawn in at this point, waiting to see what the consequences will be of a tabloidy story that was posted.

Good Goods

As I’ve been working on creating products and gifts for writers, I’ve been coming across some fun things. I love these little dollhouse books. Put them in a dish or a jar on your desk for inspiration.

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Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

What You Believe

A lot of authors introduce their book concept as something they believe will help many people. Or they talk about how meaningful it is to them to be able to write this book. This does nothing to convince an agent/editor to buy your book. They want to know what is the book about, who is it for, what problem does it solve or need does it fill and why are you the person to write it.

A Vague Market Description

Lots of writers use very broad terms to explain who their book is for: women in business, everyone who loves history, people who care about health, etc. Agents and editors need to understand your market framed by the problem the people are dealing with: women who can’t break the glass ceiling, readers who are drawn to accounts of overlooked women’s lives, or people coping with cancer remission.

Not Getting to the Point

Many query letters meander around trying to be discreet and tentative. Nobody likes to sell themselves. But a query letter is a hard sales pitch. It has to drive home that there’s a huge problem or need, this book solves that need or problem, and you are the person to write it. This is not the time to soft sell yourself. You’ve got one chance to drive your point home and hook the person reading the letter.

Overpromising

While you have to sell yourself, you can’t oversell it. It’s common for authors to say things like “there is no other book like this.” The truth is, there is almost always a comparable book, and that’s a good thing (it shows there is an existing market). You also don’t want to oversell your premise. Your book probably won’t dramatically change someone’s life, help them become rich, or solve all their problems. But it likely can have a significant impact on one area of their life and help them feel happier, healthier, or more successful.

Confusing Experience with Platform

In an ideal world, an author will have both experience and platform, but many authors just have one. Experience is “20 years as a grief counselor” while platform is having a huge social media following, regularly giving speeches or key notes, or having a Substack following. Don’t mislabel experience as platform or vice versa and try to show you have both, at least on some level.

Too Many Details About the Book

Your query should not give more than two sentences about what is in the book. Do not walk through the chapters of the book and detail everything it teaches. This is not the place for a table of contents kind of recitation. Give your elevator pitch about the book only.

Not Addressing Why Now

Your query should make the case for why this book is needed right now, at this moment in time. This can be illustrated by giving a statistic that shows the number of people struggling with a certain problem, which continues to grow. You could mention demographic shifts, new research, changing laws, trends, tech advancements, etc.

Too Long

Never ever send a query that is longer than a page. Yes, you are mostly going to send your query along pasted into an email, but it is also the first page of your proposal document, and has to fit on one page. No exceptions. Tinker with font size and margins if it’s running long. Reach out if you need help - one of my secret powers is editing to a word count.

Failing to Explain Why People Will Care

This is a particular problem with memoir and teaching memoir. Your lived experience is meaningful to you, but why would anyone else care? You should link this to the need/problem and the why now.

A query letter is a delicate balance of information and sales pitch that has to excite the agent/editor and prove to them there is a need and a market for the book.

In My World

Things at my desk have been busy. I’m helping one client submit her nonfiction proposal about women in business (and yes, I am purposefully giving you a vague description to protect my client’s intellectual property!) to agents. I’m helping another with a children’s picture book, and I just finished working on another’s proposal about a technique called voice dialogue and how it can be used in the workplace. I have some openings in July currently if you need help with your book or book proposal.

On the home front, we’ve been bike riding and enjoying the beautiful weather. My peonies bloomed over the weekend. There have been a few exploratory visits to the Birdfy birdhouse (the one with a solar-powered camera in it), but no one has taken up residence.

I’ve also been spending time on my vintage book and home decor resale shops on Etsy. I’m using my shopping superpowers to curate a selection of beautiful, interesting, and fun vintage products. I am enjoying hunting for amazing finds. You can take a peek if you’d like:

Ruth and Olive Home

The Book Foundry

Obsessed With…

I just finished reading The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett, who wrote the blockbuster (which was turned into a movie) The Help. It took me a while to get through it and the book took many twists and turns I did not expect. It’s a good read and one that shines a light on another section of early 1900s southern history. I don’t want to give too much away, because the book meanders to get to the main topic, but it is gripping. Stockett’s characters are relatable and strong.

I finished watching season 2 of The Four Seasons on Netflix which is just pleasant television. Not too upsetting, not too funny, not too dramatic, but just a nice blend to keep you watching and fuel your dopamine. The season finale was excellent.

Good Goods

I bought the name-brand version of this bag (called The Hulken) for my daughter for Christmas a couple of years ago and just bought the knock-off for myself. It’s exactly perfect for my thrifting needs and is awesome if you have a heavy pile of stuff to haul somewhere and don’t want it on your shoulder. It has 4 wheels and 3 handles (two side handles and one in the front to pull it with). I took it to the American Association of University Women’s local book sale a few weeks ago and loaded it up. It was awesome.

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Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

When my writers hit this point, I congratulate them and tell them they are right on schedule. It’s a milestone in the road, and it’s completely normal.

But how do you know if you’re really just having a momentary crisis or the book is complete crap?

Visit The Book Foundry on Etsy for curated vintage books, some of my own books, bookmarks, inspirational items for writers, and my own literary art.

Understand the Why

First, it’s helpful to understand why this happens to almost everyone.

When you start your book or book proposal, you’re wired with energy and possibility. You’re a genius! The book is amazing! People are going to love it! It’s like the honeymoon phase of a marriage. It’s all shiny and new, and you’re in a cloud of love.

But by the time you’re about a third to halfway through it, you’re tired because writing is hard work. You’re starting to see there’s repetition and gaps. Some of the chapters don’t work. Some of the ideas just don’t go together. You’re in a traffic jam, and you can’t move.

This is the point where you think:

• I don’t even know what this book is about anymore.

• I have too many ideas, and I can’t make them all work.

• The structure is completely wrong.

• The concept is all wrong.

• This book is boring and stupid.

Those are all normal reactions. It’s like doing a reno project on your home. The demo is super exciting - you see immediate change and action, and it’s super exciting. But then, as the months drag on and it’s taking forever to get the work done, you start to doubt the whole thing and kick yourself for ever starting it. The vision seemed so clear, and it seemed like it was going to be so simple to execute, but it’s dealing with the nitty-gritty little pieces that make it take forever.

Your book is the same way. You were excited to start it, and you have this great, compelling vision, but now that you’ve got some of it done, it seems like there is an overwhelming amount to do and figure out to finish it.

Should I Push Through or Should I Give Up?

That is the question you’re asking yourself.

Keep going if:

• You know who the reader is, but you’re just tired of explaining things.

• You believe in your premise, but it feels messy.

• You’re bored with parts because you’ve spent so much time on them.

• You have too much material and too many ideas, not too little.

• You keep reorganizing it instead of moving it forward.

• You are embarrassed by the book, but you still know what you are trying to do.

• You suddenly have a new book idea.

Red flags that maybe there is a problem with the book itself:

• You can’t say what the actual premise of the book is at this point.

• You keep changing your mind about who the reader is on a regular basis.

• You feel like you’re cramming three books into one.

• There’s really only enough for an article, not a full book.

• You just don’t believe in the concept anymore.

• The chapters don’t relate to each other or build towards one concept.

All is not lost if you see a lot of red flags. There’s likely still a good book in there, but you may need to rejigger your concept, refine your audience, or redo your outline to make it work.

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Diagnostic Test

Ask yourself these questions to determine if you should stop and rework your concept, structure, or approach.

What does the book actually do that helps the reader?

What problem does it solve, what need does it fill, and what does it actually DO? You should have a clear, direct answer to that. It can’t be a general statement like “It’s a book about improving self-image.” It has to be concrete, solid, and make an actual difference.

Who is my reader?

This should be very specific and should focus on what their need or problem is. If your audience is women over age 30, that’s too broad. Women in the first year after their last child leaves the home who are coping with grief is an audience with a clear need or problem.

Do the chapters build a scaffold to the solution?

If you could rearrange your chapters randomly without it affecting the book, you’re not building towards a solution. A good self-help book, a good memoir, a good nonfiction book takes the reader on a journey or through a process.

Are you contradicting yourself?

If you’re giving the reader contradictory advice, information, or signals, it’s going to confuse them. This is a sign that you have an underlying conflict in your premise that you need to resolve.

Is the material useful to someone other than you?

I’ve talked before about how one of the biggest problems self-help writers encounter is not being able to look at their material through their readers’ eyes. Because of this, writers often leave out important explanations (THEY know it, and they don’t even realize they’re skipping over it). This syndrome also makes the book feel stupid and boring to you because you already know and understand what you’re teaching or showing. Your reader doesn’t. Evaluate if the book, as it is, would be useful or interesting to someone who does not know everything you know.

Does the material not belong together?

Writers at this stage of the book often feel like they’ve got a bunch of junk in chapters and none of it really goes together. But at this stage, you haven’t done the clean-up work and the polishing work that goes into the chapter openings and conclusions. You haven’t made sure there are clear transitions, recaps, or pauses for the reader to try what you’ve taught. When that’s all missing, it’s going to feel disjointed. If you’ve tried to do that and it doesn’t help, then it’s possible some of your concepts do not all belong together in this book.

Do I still have a central idea?

This is important to evaluate because your book is filled with lots of ideas. There has to be an ocean that all those tributaries flow into. You may need to cut some of the extraneous information to help it flow, but if it does flow, you’re on the right path.

In My World

Memorial Day weekend was a washout here. But our son came home to visit, so all was not lost. We spent the weekend at my mom’s house on one of the Finger Lakes.

I collected a lot of driftwood while there. I’m going to make some votive holders with it, I think (I’m slowly leaning more and more into artistic home decor visions). I’m also thinking about incorporating some of it into my artwork.

My garden is planted. I have herbs, cherry tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, lettuce, and two types of peas. We also had to replace some shrubs that didn’t make it. I don’t love gardening, but I love the results of gardening, so I have to remind myself of that constantly.

In high school, I had a little pocket calendar, which I think came from Current. It was about the size of a checkbook, with little blocks for each day. I always wrote the lyrics from “April Come She Will” by Simon and Garfunkel across the tops of April through September. I hate that I can’t do that on my Google calendar. So to get you ready for June, here are the words for that month:
June, she'll change her tune
In restless walks she'll prowl the night

Obsessed With…

I’m reading Theo of Golden, which I know a lot of people love, but I’m getting a bit of fatigue with books in this genre.

I’m watching Couples Therapy on Paramount. I love a good reality show about real people with real problems, and I am obsessed with therapist Orna. Her clothes, her hair, her dog, and her questions. I’m rationing episodes because I don’t want it to end.

I started watching Remarkably Bright Creatures on Amazon, but I’m not sure I can finish it since it’s just too emotional. I did read the entire book, but knowing what happens, I don’t know if I have the emotional stamina to go through it again. Loss and grief have been heavy lately in my family with the death of my cousin, the first loss in my generation.

Good Goods

I bought these tiny glass flowers for my desk, and I cannot tell you how happy they make me. They are about 2.5 inches tall and take up no space whatsoever, yet somehow they have drastically improved my workspace and my mood. $15 well-spent.

Note: Some links provide me with a referral fee.

In that vein, a lot of writers get stuck in a perfectionist loop with their books (I had a client who revised and revised and revised for 7 years, and the book is still not done). He worked on this for YEARS but has not yet brought it into the world even though it’s a very good book that would help a lot of people. It was never perfect enough for him.

The thing about perfectionism is that it feels like you’re being productive. You’re working and working and working. You’re not just ignoring your book or sitting around stressing over it. You’re elbow-deep in it. On the face of it, it seems like you’re doing the right thing.

But it’s easy to get stuck in this “it must be perfect” mindset as an excuse to never move forward with the project (send it to agents, submit to publishers, or self-publish).

As long as you’re still working on it, you can hide behind that and you don’t have to put it into the world, where other people might judge it or critique it. You can feel good about the fact that you’re still actively working on it without having to face all those fears.

So how do you know when you’re making real improvement or you’re just hiding behind perfectionism?

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In your book proposal, query letter, and submission letters, you’re going to include a link to that site. It’s another chance for you to sell yourself and your concept to the agent or editor.

It also says, “I’m a serious writer.” You’ve taken the time to present a professional face to the world, and that shows that you’re going to devote the same care to publicizing your book.

How Do I Get a Site?

First, buy a domain name. Your name is usually the best option or some variation of it. You can buy this at places like Namecheap.com or Cloudflare.com.

Next, design your site. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be simple, but play around with colors and fonts to give yourself a custom look. Canva is great for this and has templates you can use.

Next, you need hosting. There are a few options. You can go to SiteGround.com and set it up there as a WordPress site. Or you can use SquareSpace.com.

What Goes on My Site?

If you have ever written published anything (including articles, blogs, Substacks, etc.) showcase those items on your site. If you can have a little graphic that goes with each one, that makes it nicer.

If you have never published anything, I suggest starting a Substack or a Medium account and putting some things up there so that you have some writing samples to include.

Include a great headshot of yourself and a bio. Talk about who you are, your experience, your interests, and your skills.

Include a short, compelling description of the book you’re trying to sell: “Coming Soon.” Make a cover for it. Use Canva if you are able, but if not, AI is your best friend for this. Tell it the name of the book and give it some idea of what you think should be on the cover. This is just a placeholder, but it will make the book feel real. This your chance to hype the book and highlight what’s special about it.

If you have social media accounts, include some links to them on your site as well.

It’s a good idea to put in a boilerplate privacy policy (ask AI to help you create one

Don’t forget to include a “Contact Me” button or include your email address. This is often overlooked, but is absolutely crucial!

Other Tips

Once you have a site, include the link to it in your email signature. Put it in your social media bios. Include it in every query letter you send, beneath your signature line.

Update it often. If you publish new things, add them. If you decide to write another book, include something about that as well. Adjust your bio as things change in your life.

In My World

I’ve been enjoying the gorgeous spring weather and am diving deeper into becoming a crazy bird person. We just put up an owl house, and I’m hoping some move in. I asked for one those birdhouses with a camera in it for Mother’s Day and am hoping I get that also. I have the Merlin Bird ID app on my phone. Last night on a walk, it identified 21 different birds which is the most it’s ever found on our walks.

I’m excite to share a new fun thing for writers that I’ve created. As an author and book coach, I know what it’s like to sit at your desk and feel uninspired, hopeless, and looking for direction. There’s a lot of research that shows that scent can inspire creativity and that linking specific scents to certain activities helps you be more productive.

With that in mind I’ve created a set of writer’s scent jars. There are three in the set, filled with botanicals and essential oils. Each one is geared to a different stage of the writing process: Deep (planning, thinking, outlining, plotting), Flow (putting the words on the page and trying to make them flow), and Polish (editing and perfecting your work). I hope you’ll check it out.

Obsessed With…

This is totally random and weird, but comedian and horror movie star Jamie Kennedy (who I only know of because he appears occasionally on a Sirius radio show I listen to), just bought a house in LA and discovered a giant hole (like 30 feet deep) under one of his driveway pavers. He’s been posting Instagram videos investigating the hole. He had a guy put a camera down as far they could and they think they saw a bone. I’m learning there is a huge system of tunnels under LA that people skate in. The whole thing is unhinged, but I’m waiting for the next post to see if they send someone down the hole, if they determine what it is actually for (a well?), and also what’s going to happen in terms of a lawsuit against the prior owner/builder. It’s the little weird things, people.

Good Goods

And on that theme of it’s the little things, I bought this little pot a couple years ago and I use it ALL the time for melting butter. I got fed up with butter exploding all over the microwave. This little Farberware pot is made just for that purpose and it’s super cute.

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Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

But defining the audience isn’t enough. You have to focus on what the problem is that they are facing, which your book will solve.

Dialing Into the Audience Is Not Enough

You may be able to say that your audience is women ages 40-60 who are at the peak of their careers, often in middle management and in industries such as law, finance, insurance, and accounting. You may also be able to refine that audience even further, saying that they have children or they have a side hustle or they have a chronic illness. You have data and statistics that show exactly how many women are in the sub-group.

You might feel like you’ve checked all the boxes. After all, you clearly defined your audience and showed precisely how many of them there are.

But that’s not enough.

The Missing Piece

The most compelling thing you can include in this section is information about the problem they are facing. Your book has to fill a need or solve a problem.

You want to present data about how many of those people are struggling with a problem, facing a challenge, or have an unmet need.

That shows why your book is so necessary and why people will buy it.

So for our women at peak career audience, if your book is about how to make it to the C suite you need data that shows how many of these women want that or are seeking that. It would also be helpful to show how many women sought these kinds of promotions but didn’t get them.

If your book is about advancing at work with a chronic illness, you need data that shows how many women with a chronic illness are seeking advancement and how many are finding that the illness is impairing their ability to get those promotions.

Where to Include This Information

You should include this information, at varying levels of detail, in your query letter, overview, and marketing (audience) section. The most detailed breakdown goes in the marketing section. The overview could have a sentence or two. The query letter would mention this in one sentence.

Selling your book means highlighting a real need or problem and backing it up with hard numbers to show you’re right.

In My World

I’m excited to share a new book of mine with you. This is truly a passion project for me. I love to travel, but I am also a list-maker and a collector. For years and years, I’ve been keeping lists in notebooks of all the travel achievements I’ve unlocked: rivers, mountains, restaurants, countries, cities, markets, museums I’ve been to, and more. I also have running lists of places I want to go and things I want to see. I love to have tangible proof that I went somewhere, which is partly why I collect things when I travel.

The Passport Companion takes all of those passions and rolls them into a book so that other travelers can check off where they’ve been, what they’ve seen, and also so that they dream about all the places they still want to go. Whether you are a veteran traveler or are dreaming about it, this book can help you dream and then track everything amazing you’ve seen.

Obsessed With…

I’m reading Lake Effect by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. It takes place in Rochester, NY, a neighboring city to where I live (Buffalo). I’m about 1/3 through it, but it’s keeping me hooked. It’s about a group of neighbors and all the various relationships between them and their children (including an affair). It takes place in the 70s, which resonates with me since that’s when I grew up. There’s a storyline involving one of the women buying a pile of The Joy of Sex and giving copies to her neighbors. Of course, one of the teenagers finds one. LOL. This is such a spot-on storyline, which I of course lived. It’s a fun read.

I’m watching The Testaments which is so so so good. I was afraid I wouldn’t like it because Handmaid was so amazing. It’s definitely gripping, and it’s making me feel all sorts of ways. Highly recommend.

If you watch this space, you know I have a proclivity for reality marriage TV. I watch the US version of Married at First Sight, but the Australian version is a million times better. You have to do some fancy footwork with a VPN to be able to get it, but when you do, there are 30 or so episodes per season, and they have really good experts who meet with them weekly and call them out on their shit. I’m on season 5 of the newest season, and I just love it so much.

Good Goods

Because of the way my office is set up, my back is to the door (I need to be able to see out the window). This is part of what shows up behind me on all my Zoom calls with my author clients. For a while, I had a wreath on the back of the door, just so it wasn’t a blank door. I recently bought these very affordable ($19.99 for 3) metal sculptures (which are very similar to The Book Foundry logo!) and have one of them hanging on the door now, and I love it so much. I may rotate through the three of them to spice things up.

Note: I may receive referral fees through some of the links in this newsletter.

It’s always more involved, more time-consuming, more detailed, more technical, and just HARDER than they expected.

I’ve spent 25+ years writing, editing, and coaching book proposals, and I understand why people feel that way. There are four basic pillars to keep in mind when working on a book proposal that will help you wrap your mind around it.

Pillar 1: Stop Answering “What?” and Start Answering “So What?”

As an author, you’re hyper-focused on the content of your book. Your message, your theory, your approach—it’s shouting in your brain. You’re thinking only about how to get that information onto the page, how to teach and show the reader your ideas, and how to help them learn, change, or grow.

While you do have to explain what your book is about in your proposal, you should be answering the bigger question of why anyone should care. This means you need to explain:

• What the big problem or need is that you’re filling

• Who your reader is and why they need this information

• How your book solves the problem or fills the need

An agent or editor needs this information to get on board with your book. Sell it to them.

Pillar 2: The Sample Chapter Is Not a Sample. It’s an Audition.

Your sample chapter is you on a stage in front of a director, showing them that you have the chops to write this book AND that the information in it is life-changing, unique, gripping, and compelling.

The sample chapter must showcase what it is about your book that’s so special. It should draw the reader in and make them want to read the rest of the book.

The first chapter is often not the best one for this. Look for something that showcases the meat of your book. You want to wow them.

Pillar 3: Competition Is a Good Thing

When writing the competition section, writers often want to say there is no other book in the world like theirs. Actually, what you want to do is show there are lots of successful books in your area, but that they are missing something, overlooking something, or taking the wrong approach.

You need to show there is an existing market—that people are already buying books about this. It’s a proof of concept. But your focus should be on showing what your book does that no other book does. Why is it better, different, for a slightly different audience, etc.?

Pillar 4: Publicity Is About Access

Your publisher is going to rely on you to do a lot of work to promote your book. If you can’t reach your audience, they aren’t going to make money from your book, and they aren’t going to sign you.

You must prove you already have access to the audience for your book. You already are engaging with them on social media, via Substack, through your email list, through speaking engagements, or through workshops or classes you offer.

It’s one thing to have great ideas for how you’ll promote your book (and this is important too!), but it’s another entirely to show them that you already are engaged with the audience and have easy access to them.

Need help with a book proposal? Drop me an email brette@brettesember.com.

Good Luck for Writers

I’m expanding my Book Foundry shop on Etsy. I have a fun little product I’ve been working hard on - a good luck jar for writers. I’ve assembled fun jars of items designed to inspire, support, and keep you writing through the hard times. Check them out on my Etsy shop. I have a limited number available, and they are moving fast!

In My World

I read Good Writing by Neal Allen and Anne Lamott while on an airplane recently. Anne is one of my patron saints of writing, so there was no way I was missing this book (Bird by Bird is one of the books I always recommend to new writers).

If I’m honest, this is a Neal Allen book with commentary by Anne (his wife). So in that sense, it was a bit disappointing. Clearly, the publisher needed her on board to do the deal. But it’s mainly his ideas, with her explaining in a more accessible and friendly way why he’s not wrong.

The book is made up of his 36 rules for writing. Some of them are good. Some of them I outright disagree with. Some of them are ok.

This is a book for someone who wants to focus on the craft of their writing. It’s not about getting your ideas on the page, finishing your book, or selling it. It’s about sentence structure, revising your sentences, word choice, and more. I would imagine Neal Allen thinks of himself as a wordsmith, not a writer. And that pretty much sums it up.

Is it valuable? Yes. His advice is very focused, very detailed, and really good about most things. Would I recommend it to most of my author clients? No. I think this could send a new writer spiraling and make them stuck. But for more advanced writers, yes, it’s a deep dive into writing beautifully.

Want to read it? Share this Substack article using the “refer a friend” button below and then leave a comment on this post. I will randomly draw one name on April 27th, and that person will get a copy of the book.

Refer a friend

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Obsessed With…

I started The Testaments on Hulu, the follow-up to The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m all in on this sequel.

I’m still getting through DTF St. Louis, which is constantly surprising me with its out-of-the-box twists and turns. There are just so many things about this that are downright weird—such as everyone’s professions, the police station set, the pacing, the odd little details I am desperately hoping the ending does not let me down. The first episode was kind of weird—keep going. It will pay off.

Good Goods

I have a couple places I turn to for book recommendations that are not social media-based. One is Bookmarks Magazine. This is a really great resources that breaks things down by genre. In addition to new releases and award-winners, it suggests books you might have missed.

I also subscribe to Book Page Magazine. You can actually pick this up for free in many public libraries, but I like to support them so I pay for a subscription. This is not as nice a publication as Bookmarks (it’s more like glossy newsprint and is usually shorter), but I usually find some great recommendations in it.

I also am embarrassed to tell you that I subscribe to People Magazine for the book review page. It’s nuts, but they have a page in each issue with the hot books and while they aren’t usually literary masterpieces, they are trendy fiction picks that I usually enjoy.

Note: Some of the links in this article may provide me with a small referral fee.

I’ve worked with lots and lots of writers. And they tend to fall into two camp:.

I want to write a book

or

I HAVE to write THIS book

Lots of folks want to write books. They love the idea of telling a story, sharing their knowledge, creating something lasting, or building something to support their brand.

Those are all great motivations, but I find that the people who write a book because they absolutely have to write that book are the ones who succeed the most (and let’s be clear - “success” as a writer can mean many things as I discussed in this past post).

Don’t Let That Stop You

I often find that people who start a book because they just want to write a book (without having that burning need to write one specific book) eventually get to a point where there is one book they feel utterly compelled to write.

It can take a while for that heart book to emerge. It’s as if you need to grease the wheels and get some practice with books before it comes to the forefront.

It also takes time to realize what book you are truly meant to write. There is a growth process and a need for personal exploration to truly come to understand it.

How Do You Know That Book?

I always say it’s like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s explanation of pornography: you know it when you see it.

It’s possible to write a really great book that lots of people enjoy or find useful without it being THAT book. And I want to encourage you to write those books. Tell the story, share the knowledge, offer your thoughts. Those things are valuable and important.

But there is a huge difference between writing a book that’s worthwhile and writing a book that lights you absolutely on fire. And when that happens you 100% will feel the difference.

One of my client recently found that book for herself. We spent a lot of time two years ago working on a proposal for a book that is going to help so many people and be transformative in many ways.

However, she got to a point in trying to find a home for it where a new idea overtook here. It was like she was suddenly on fire with this new book. The concept for it suddenly came rocketing out of her. She got it down on the page so so quickly. All of the work she did on the other book concept was not wasted (and I still believe she will eventually sell that first book) because it helped her fine tune her style and practice doing all the pieces of a book proposal so that when it came time to work on this new idea, she already knew what she was doing.

What It’s Like to Write THAT Book

Just as with my client, when that idea finds you, you become obsessed by it. There’s no question that you are going to write that book. You can’t stop thinking about it. And even if you try to convince yourself not to write it, it will nudge you and bother you and haunt you until you do. And it’s usually fairly easy to write because it simply spills out of you.

I believe it’s absolutely possible to have many books like that in your lifetime (I know I often feel that way about the books I write), so it’s not a one and done.

When you find that book it becomes really obvious to you that other books are things you are trying to force because they just don’t come as naturally or as organically.

How Do You Find the Idea for That Book?

It’s more like the idea for that book finds you. You’ll start to get a little nudge of an idea. But it will feel differently than other book ideas. You will feel gripped by it. You are convinced you need to write it.

If an idea comes to you and floats away, it’s probably not that book.

Again, I want to really emphasize that some people never feel that way about their books and they do write books that are successful. But I find that when a client comes to me on fire with a book, it’s a book that is absolutely going to succeed.

I’ve been spending a lot of time on my Book Foundry Etsy store, putting together products for writers. I just posted a bookmark that is super fun. Come by and check it out!

In My World

We had a pipe from the house to the septic system start leaking in the basement so that created some drama here for about a week until we could get it fixed. We spent a weekend in Boston, visiting our son who works at MIT. I’m a sucker for Boston even if the traffic is horrendous and everything is crazy expensive.

I’ve been focusing more time on my art and my artistic projects which has been really fun for me, but I have several clients with projects amping up, so my time may be more limited in the coming weeks.

Obsessed With…

I’m still looking for a book I want to actually finish. I just got Anne Lamott’s newest book, Good Writing, which I will read and review here soon.

A new show I started watching is DTF St. Louis and it’s a little weird, but pretty good so far, kind of a whodunit, with a lot of strange things happenings.

Good Goods

This isn’t really something you can buy (and if you can, will you please get one for me?). My favorite poet is ee cummings. And I recently went down a rabbit hole looking at his art, which I am absolutely in love with. Apparently though, there are no reproductions available anywhere, only thousands of dollars originals. I encourage you to check out his work.

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When I was just getting started, I tried everything. There aren’t many areas of writing that I didn’t dip my toes in. I was looking for my niche, and I was also just trying to make a living at this. I was writing books, but I was also freelancing, and I tried everything from greeting cards to writing medical studies. I wrote for magazines, I helped professors create lesson plans, I wrote a banking website, I interviewed lawyers and asked them to rate judges, and I wrote for just about every legal information site there is. I wrote columns, I wrote essays, I wrote a million books, ghosted many books, and co-authored many books. I indexed books. I fact-checked books. I edited books. I wrote fiction, memoir, children’s books, nonfiction, mysteries, cookbooks, travel guides, how-to books. I wrote about just about every subject matter there is. I self-published, I had several agents, I published traditionally, I published with an academic press. I gave workshops. I made online classes. I coached. I taught an in-person class. The list is long. Some things stuck. Others didn’t.

There’s also a very long list of things I considered and said no to.

Looking back, it was all important because all of it helped me grow as a writer. I learned what I feel comfortable doing and what I don’t. What I’m good at and what I’m not good at. Who I am as a writer. It took years to really understand that.

Slowly, I learned to have confidence in myself, my voice, and my ability. It took a long time. It didn’t help that there were family members who did not support what I was doing at all. My inner critic was very loud, trained on those voices. But my husband and kids were always supportive and were and are my cheerleaders.

There were many stages along the way where I had to make decisions and choose a path, turning down projects, roles, and jobs. Those choices were really hard. There were books I didn’t write. Streams of income I said no to. People I chose not to work with. Some of them were huge opportunities. But my gut said no. That intuition took a long time to learn to trust, but it never shut up, so I eventually learned to heed it.

Slowly, the things I loved began to take up more of my time. The sweet spots emerged. I eventually figured out who I am as a writer and what makes me the happiest.

The hardest lesson for me was that happiness matters more than money. I have worn many, many hats (my resume was at 10 pages at one point until I just deleted all the things I don’t want to do anymore).

What This Means for You

The lesson I want you to take from this is that it’s ok to try writing things and hate them, or try things and find you aren’t suited to them. It all builds your skills, helps you develop your muscles, and eventually leads you down the path to finding the things that you love the most.

Don’t be afraid to try new things, but also do not be afraid to listen to your intuition and walk away from them if they aren’t right. You’re going to question your intuition. But I encourage you to lean into it. It will guide you to where you should be.

Just for Fun

In one of my middle-of-the-night, can’t-sleep, brain-goes-crazy sessions, I made a list of words that used to be just nouns but now are verbs:

Text

Source

Game

Email

Friend

Bookmark

Inbox

Uber

FaceTime

Back burner

Whiteboard

Ghost

Adult

Microwave

Medal

Network

In My World

I am becoming more selective with the projects I take on, focusing only on those clients and projects that truly speak to me.

This has given me the space to answer the call of another kind of creativity. I’m expanding The Book Foundry on Etsy to showcase some visual art projects. I make 3D mixed media collages, and I’m creating a series of these for writers (photo of one above).

I’ve also been assembling curated packages of found and vintage items for other collage artists and junk journalers, and have put some of those up. I’m also sharing some other goodies for writers.

It’s wonderfully satisfying to explore other avenues of creativity. I’ve got a lot of projects in the works, so many more will be coming.

*****CONGRATS to client Dr. Melissa Milanak, who signed a contract with Wiley for her book Sleep for Optimal Performance, coming out in the spring! This book is sooo useful and will help so many people solve all their sleep problems. I’ll be working on the project all summer

****CONGRATS to client Dr. Sarah Capodagli, who signed a contract with Lucid House Publishing for her untitled book for children about pooping (yup, you read that right). She’s a pelvic floor therapist and is on a mission to teach healthy habits.

Obsessed With…

I’m officially in a drought with good books. I have started so many and finished almost none of them. There are plenty more on my TBR pile, so hopefully something will grip me soon!

As far as TV goes, I’m gobbling up the latest season of Call the Midwife. I finished Paradise and am wondering where that goes in the next season.

Good Goods

I’ve lost my mind over these markers. You need them. I can’t stop using them.

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Note: Some of the links may provide me with a small referral fee.

And that’s because writing is WORK. It’s always mentally draining. It’s often emotionally draining. And it can be physically draining as well.

There are so many other tempting things you could do instead, as well as things you don’t actually enjoy but which feel productive (which is why so many of my writer friends clean like lunatics when they have a deadline — anything to not sit at that computer and actually do the writing work).

It’s normal to put it off. But if you want to get your book done, you have to actually find a way to make yourself get it done. Here are my tips for making the writing happen.

Remember That Not Writing Can Be Writing

I do a lot of “writing” in my head while I’m doing other things, both consciously and subconsciously. Books have to rise like yeast. They need time and space and air and just to be left alone.

Your brain processes so many things and does a lot of the pre-writing work while you’re doing other things. Don’t beat yourself up for being lazy or procrastinating. It’s ok to do other things.

If you chain yourself to your keyboard, you will not only be miserable, but you’ll force yourself to write stuff that you don’t like.

Stop feeling guilty about not writing. Instead, view it as part of the process. When you take the angst out of it, the entire process starts to feel more organic.

Have a Writing Schedule

Block out times on your calendar when you are going to write. Treat it like an appointment. It’s a priority.

Make sure that you schedule this for your optimal writing time. I get more done between 9 and 11:30 than I do in the afternoons. That’s my prime time. Maybe you’re a late-night person or an early-morning person. Schedule this whenever you are going to be most creative and productive.

Keep your blocks relatively short. An hour or two is optimal. Do not try to tie yourself to the chair for hours and hours. It’s going to make you cranky and hate everything about writing.

Do Something Else If It’s Not Happening

So you scheduled an hour and a half to write, but you sit down, and you have absolutely nothing. It all feels stupid. The book is garbage. You have no idea what you’re doing. It’s a big mess.

First of all, feeling that way is normal. Sometimes you can push past it and figure something out that feels good.

But other times you can’t. If that’s the case, do something else. Maybe there are other writing-related tasks you can do. Or maybe you can just pay bills and schedule dental cleanings. That’s all ok and it’s all productive. Sometimes you need to walk away and do some laundry, deal with something from your day job, or just call your mom. Any of that is fine. No guilt. Just recognition that, for whatever reason, you don’t have anything to write today.

It does not mean you should skip your next writing appointment, though. You have to keep trying. That’s the trap people fall into. They give themselves a pass day after day after day. Yes, you do need time away from writing, and yes, some days it’s not happening. But there have to be days where you actually try and try and try.

Create Writing Cues

To help your brain click into writing mode, it helps to have established cues or hints that snap your brain into place.

For me, I need to sit down at my desktop computer in my own office. Pens are where they are supposed to be. My phone is on silent. If it’s morning, I have coffee in the same mug. I am dressed comfortably, and I almost always have an ugly fleece zip-up on. My office is quiet.

Those are my cues. But I’ve been doing this for more than 25 years, so my habits are absolutely ingrained and automatic. You may need to establish cues for yourself. Here are some ideas:

• You have a specific scent that is related to writing—maybe a certain candle or essential oil. Smell can be a strong trigger for your brain.

• Like my ugly writing fleece, maybe you have a sweater, hoodie, slippers, big socks, or a bracelet you always wear. Make it part of your routine, and it will help you snap into writing mode.

• Have a specific place for writing. If you are a roaming laptop person, maybe you always sit at one end of the couch when you’re writing. Or if you’re a coffee shop person, you always go to your favorite place and set up there. It needs to feel like your writing zone.

• If you write at a desk or table that is always set up, create a writing windshield. Everything within your direct view as you sit at your computer is designed to make you happy, create dopamine, make you feel confident, spur creativity, remind you that you ARE a writer, and support you. I have a photo of my kids, a little wooden sculpture of a dog and a cat, and a book mug filled with flowered pens on my desk. The wall behind the computer has my bookmark collection and a window (I have to be able to see outside when I write). The wall to my side has a bulletin board with random ticket stubs and mementos. There’s a cat bed to my right. There’s a shelf with notebooks, dog photos, some special paper weights, and a photo of something my husband wrote in the sand for me. These are my emotional supports. They make me feel safe, happy, calm, and productive. Create that kind of environment for yourself. Sitting down there will feel good.

Have Multiple Balls in the Air

I’m always working with several clients, writing a book of my own at some stage of development, dealing with admin stuff related to my business, scribbling down a poem, making lists of ideas, thinking about starting a podcast, writing a Substack, and googling a million things. There’s nothing boring about what I do. I bounce around between things, always excited to dive into whatever is in front of me. Yes, there are times I have to buckle down and write and write and write just one thing, but I always make room for a little bit of something else. Having several things you can work on means you can switch gears and still be working.

Make Room for the Muse

There are going to be times when you are suddenly hit with inspiration. The perfect words will come to you, or you will suddenly know how to solve a problem you’ve been struggling with in your book. But for the muse to call, she needs a little space. And she needs you to be in the right mental space. I am always most creative when I come back from a vacation. I am absolutely bursting with ideas because my brain has had a break from the work of writing. I also find that days with slower paces give me bursts of creativity. I cannot come up with new ideas if I am working 8 hours a day on one project. I’m completely focused, and there’s just no room for anything else. I also cannot be creative if I am stressed. We don’t have a lot of control over stress level, but just be mindful of it. Make space in your life for creativity to bloom. Take time away. Take an afternoon off. Go for a walk. Sit and stare out the window. The muse needs an empty space to fill, not a brain overcome with Instagram posts, news, meetings, doctor visits, and making dinner for your in-laws.

Have a To-Do List

If you’re writing a book proposal, make a list of the sections of the proposal. Keep it next to your computer. Check things off when you do them. If you’re writing the book, make a list of chapters or sections you need to write. Check them off as you do them. The list reminds you that you have work to do, and checking each thing off is a little dopamine hit.

Give Yourself Deadlines

If you’re working with a book coach or an editor, they will give you deadlines (in my experience, this is a key reason many people hire a coach). If you’re working along, create a timeline of what has to be done when. DO NOT make this impossible. It should be easily doable. You’re not supposed to stress yourself out; just keep the writing train moving along the tracks.

In My World

One of my clients just sold her book to Wiley. It was a long road from idea to sale—about two years. This is proof that you should never give up if you believe in your book! I’m going to be busy ghosting this one for the next few months and am looking forward to seeing it finished and in the world.

We did a massive spring cleaning/reorganization the past couple of weekends, which has left the house feeling fresh and new. Every day I look outside and check the progress of all the spring bulbs coming up in the yard.

Last week, I talked to a small group of homeschooled tween girls about writing. They are all writers working on stories. This week, I got cards in the mail from them thanking me. Here are some of their comments:

-You inspired me to write many more stories and to always be creative

- You inspired me to write more poems

-Maybe when I grow up I can be a writer too!

- I can’t wait for you to come by again

Obsessed With…

I’m reading The Jills by Karen Parkman. It’s a mystery about a missing person from the cheerleaders for the Buffalo Bills. I was so excited to read something about my hometown. It’s definitely a fun read, but 100% fiction since the Bills have not had cheerleaders since 2014.

I started watching The Madison on Paramount, and it’s like a deep, relaxing breath because of the gorgeous scenery. I’m only one episode in, and I’m going to try to drag it out and watch it on nights when I need something soothing.

My husband and I are watching Corporate Retreat, which is from the people who made Jury Duty (where a real person is made to think he’s on a real jury at a real trial, but it’s actually all actors). It’s a bit weird and over the top sometimes, but kind of fun.

Good Goods

Part of spring cleaning here is cleaning the windows, a job I hate. They get so dirty, and you work like a demon cleaning them and stand back, and it’s a huge smeared mess. That’s part of why I hate it, because you work so hard and don’t get the results you want.

I got a free window cleaning cloth with a coupon at our grocery store a while ago. I totally forgot about it, but remembered when I was up to my elbows in paper towels and grime. I dug it out, and it’s a miracle. It leaves the windows streak-free. So I ordered a package of them so we have more than one, and the kids are also getting them in their stockings at Christmas.

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But it can also be scary and overwhelming. If you don’t identify yourself primarily as a “writer” (and most of my clients don’t!), you probably feel adrift and completely unsure how to start, what to do, and what your options are.

You Don’t Have to Be a “Writer” to Write a Book

Writing a book is like any other DIY project. You just need to know the steps and practice doing them. Anyone can write a book. And anyone who feels a deep, burning need to write one should absolutely write one.

A lot of people feel self-conscious about their writing, worried that it’s not good enough. I have never worked with anyone whom I had to tell to stop and give up. Every book I’ve ever worked on had something special about it that the world needed.

If you have a burning need to write a book, that book will find a way into the world. And the good news is that lots of the things that people worry about are non-issues. Not great with spelling? Meet spellcheck. Not great with grammar? Meet AI tools. Not sure if you’re putting your ideas together in a way that makes sense? Meet me, or editors like me.

There are lots of tools and resources to polish up writing, but no one else in the whole world will write a book with the same message and perspective as you. Your book will be as unique as you are. It can’t ever be duplicated. And that’s the magic inside you.

I Don’t Know Where to Start

If you don’t know where to start, start with what’s crying out inside you. Write down some of it. If you’re writing nonfiction, try to organize that into some kind of really rough outline — just a list of super quick concepts or pieces. That’s how you start.

If you are burning to write memoir, sit down and start to write a piece of it. Then think about where the story is going. What needs to come before? What comes after? Get a rough idea in your head about what the story is and what the message is.

That’s how you start. Just doing that is the beginning.

I’m Afraid to Start

Hello, Inner Critic. Of course, you’re afraid to start. It’s new. It feels like nothing you’ve ever done. That’s ok!

Feeling uncomfortable and hearing that Inner Critic shouting about how unqualified you are both roadblocks that are hard to move past.

I recommend giving yourself some space to try things. Tell yourself, “This is just an experiment.” And start writing something. Withhold judgment and just crack the door open so that book inside you can peek out. Don’t shout at it or tell it that’s disorganized or stupid or dumb because it will slam the door in your face. Be kind to it. Welcome its baby steps into the world.

To start, you must suspend judgment and disbelief and fear and all the voices in your head and just let the book start to come out a little tiny bit. Experiment. Play. Try a tiny bit.

I Am Overwhelmed

Well, of course you are. An entire book is an awful lot to carry around in your head. It’s like handing someone unskilled with engines a wrench and telling them to rebuild the engine in their car.

The trick is not to think you’re going to write THE BOOK, but to think about jotting down bits and pieces. Try to rough up an outline or write out a few paragraphs about the concept.

Stop expecting it to come out perfect and fully formed, because I can guarantee you, it does not. Even though Paul McCartney woke up with the melody for “Yesterday” handed to him by the universe, he had to work on that song (he originally called it “Scrambled Eggs” with lyrics about “Baby, I really love your legs”). He started with a germ of an idea and had to build that masterpiece over time.

You’re going to do the same. Small steps, tiny pieces, and lots of forgiveness will get you there.

Talk to an Expert

You don’t decide to sew your own pair of pants and just do it today. If you have no sewing experience, you learn how to sew, you look at patterns, you find videos, you watch other people do it, you learn to use a sewing machine, you read about fabrics and cuts, and you ask a friend to show you what you’re messing up. You let other people help you so that you don’t have to start from nothing and relearn all the lessons that other people learned by trial and error.

It’s the same with a book. You think you have a book bursting to come out. You’re not sure if it’s even a good idea, if anyone would buy it, how to get it published, or how to write it. That’s where I come in.

Do an hour call with me and let me talk through it with you. I’ll help you see if your idea is marketable, if it makes sense, what it’s missing, and how to go from this swirl of ideas to a published book in your hands.

I’m offering hour-long consultations to just 5 people at $197. Stop wondering and start working to make your dream come true. Drop me an email (brette@brettesember.com) and let’s set up a call.

Get a Building Block

If you want to get a little more structure and understand what a book proposal actually is, start with my template, created based on my 25+ years of experience. It lays out everything a book proposal must include and gives you marching orders for pulling it together.

It doesn’t matter where you start. What matters is that you give your book a chance!

In My World

Help me welcome to the world one of my own projects, How to Get a Fast, Cheap Divorce: Strategies for Ending Your Marriage Quickly and Affordably. I was a divorce attorney in my previous life before I became a writer, and I still do some legal writing.

The bulbs are popping up in my tulip garden, so I am hopeful that spring is really coming. In the meantime, I am finishing up the few remaining items on my winter to-do list and getting a lot of organizing/cleaning projects done around the house.

Obsessed With…

I’m reading Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck, and it’s a spot-on take about anxiety, how to think about it, and how to cope with it in ways that actually make sense and make you feel good.

I’m watching a lot of good TV, including the latest seasons of: Outlander, The Pitt, Love Story: JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette, and Paradise. I tried to watch Scarpetta since I’ve read all the books, but I really didn’t like it. I also gave up on Hamnet (sorry, I know a lot of people loved it).

Good Goods

A Trader Joe’s just opened in my area a couple of months ago, and I’m getting in the habit of going every few weeks (I used to go to one farther away a couple times a year). I’m now obsessed with the yellow cake with the chocolate frosting. It’s ridiculous, really, because it’s absolutely like a cake mix cake, but somehow it’s just so damn good. And it just solidifies my belief that Trader Joe’s is all about junk food disguised as bougie food.

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Writing about trauma is most often associated with memoir, but fiction writers often draw on lived experiences to write scenes. And it’s very common in self-help books for the author to share their own stories, which may involve traumatic events.

No matter what genre you’re writing in, it’s important to ground yourself when diving into this kind of writing.

Create a Safe Space

First, make a deal with yourself that you’re just going to start writing about it and no one ever has to see it. It’s in your own private document, which you can keep private or delete if you ever want to. This is a safe space to try some things.

Here are some rules for writing in this space:

• No one ever has to see it if I don’t want them to.

• I am not required to write about this.

• This is just practice to see what comes out.

• I’m going to write without judging, criticizing, overthinking, or censoring.

• I’m going to write something and deal with it later.

• It doesn’t have to be good. Or even make sense at all.

• I’m just giving it a try with no strings.

Coping Techniques

Writing about emotionally intense, traumatic events, or upsetting moments is hard. To do it well, you have to actually put yourself back in the place (if you’re writing about something that happened to you) or place yourself in the scene (if you’re writing fiction). This brings up a lot of emotions. Here are some ways to get through it.

• Walk away whenever you need to. Nothing says you have to write this today. Or tomorrow. If it’s too much, stop. You can come back to it. It might be easier to write when you have other parts of the book completed.

• Create a soothing environment when you write. Maybe take your laptop to a couch or sit wrapped up in a blanket in bed. Light a candle. Put on some calming music. Sit next to your dog. Drink water or tea. Have the tv on if background noise helps distract you.

• Remind yourself that you are safe, protected, loved, and supported. What you are writing cannot hurt you now.

How Much Should I Share?

This is a question a lot of my authors ask me. They worry that they are sharing too much or not enough. That they are giving too much detail or not enough.

I’ve never had to tell a writer to take detail out of a scene like this. We have worked together to change details and names to protect their privacy and to ensure people are not identifiable. But I have never had a writer give me a scene like this where I had to say whoa, too much detail. Yet, everyone worries that they are sharing too much.

I often work with writers to get more details into a scene, though. It’s common to focus on the blow-by-blow of the action and skip the sensory details. What did the room smell like? How did the carpet feel under your feet? What did your breath sound like? What did the emotions do to your body and your mind? This is often what’s missing and can be added in afterwards.

****Don’t Forget!

Get your copy of my new workbook for writers The Writer’s Sensory Lab: Guided Practice in Five-Sense Imagery and Emotional Depth. Make sure you’re a subscriber (free or paid!) to this Substack, and then you can send me 5 of the exercises from the book that you’ve done, and I’ll edit them and give feedback. You must send them to me no later than March 15, 2026 (brette@brettesember.com). Proof of purchase of the book required.

Common Problems and How to Solve Them

Here are some common problems I have helped writers work through, along with how to work around them.

I can’t get started. It’s common to feel frozen and unsure where to start. Write something. Anything. Write another scene and come back and try to dip your toe in again. Write the parts you are able to and skip the parts you can’t do right now.

I’m afraid. Reliving or experiencing something traumatic is hard, so this is absolutely a normal reaction. Try writing it in the third person. It’s not about you. It’s just a scene that you’re telling. You aren’t in it. You can change it to first person later. This can give some emotional distance from it.

I can’t go deep. This is a normal coping mechanism. Your mind doesn’t want you to experience something hard, so you just feel blocked when you try to reach deep down for the emotions and the hard sensory details. Try writing a list of the feelings and sensory details that are involved. Just put a list on the page. Then pretend you’re a journalist reporting on what happened. This helps you structure the pieces. together into a timeline. You can come back later and adjust it.

I’m numb. Another completely common response. There are two ways to think about this. First, maybe you were actually numb when it happened as a protective measure. That’s absolutely valid, and you can write the scene to show that. Numbness in the face of trauma can be powerful writing. Secondly, if you are just feeling numb now and can’t break through to the feelings of the scene, try writing what happened just before and just after with sensory and emotional details. It will get things flowing and provide a pathway for you to continue.

In My World

I’ve had my nose to the grindstone working on a special project for a continuing ed company for tax professionals and CPAs. I’ve written courses for them in the past and am working on updates based on current law.

I have lots of clients submitting to Hay House this month and am waiting to see if anyone gets the nod there. So many of the projects are so good!

In my free time, I’m working on Operation Declutter. We have Too Much Stuff. And a lot of it is inherited stuff, antiques, vintage items, etc. that are just so hard to let go of. And of course, my kids don’t want any of it. So I have an Etsy store up with a lot of the special vintage things: RuthandOliveHome. This way, I feel like at least they are going to people who want them.

Obsessed With…

I have been starting and not finishing a lot of books, so I don’t have any solid reading recommendations for you this week. If you have a book recommendation, leave a comment!

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Instead, I’ve been catching up on a lot of tv in the past couple of weeks. Song Sung Blue, about a Neil Diamond tribute band, was good but sad.

I’m in the middle of Love Story: John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Carolyn Bessette, and it’s a good show that is addictive, but it’s making me wonder if they would have stayed together if they had lived, because it’s all pretty rocky. It also feels a little icky to see someone make money from a family with so much tragedy. JFK Jr.’s nephew, Jack Schlossberg, had some pretty harsh words about it.

I’m watching a little of Love Is Blind, slowly, and will probably become more obsessed once they are out of the pods and the drama begins. I love a good marriage reality show.

I’m caught up on The Pitt and am awaiting the next episode. That show just glues me to the tv and is an excellent distraction because I cannot think about anything else when it is on, and I don’t even pick up my phone. Something that strikes me about that show is how good the actors are. I have seen a few of them giving interviews, and they look and sound NOTHING like they do on the show because they are so, so talented.

And I’m also catching up on Bridgerton, which I never ever want to end. Everything about that show is so good, from the female-focused love scenes, to the queen’s hair, to the outfits, to the color-coding, to the orchestral versions of popular songs (I get distracted trying to identify the songs and have to rewind because I missed dialogue). Whenever they talk about men getting the women lemonade at the balls, though, it makes me think of Rosie O’Donnell saying she just wanted Tom Cruise to mow her lawn and bring her a lemonade.

Good Goods

I am a bit of a collector (see above: We have Too Much Stuff). I collect magnets everywhere I go, displayed in a hallway, and I also collect bookmarks when I travel, which I display in my office. The magnets need a magnetic board to display them and I previously spent Way Too Much money on Amazon buying a framed magnetic board.

The bookmarks were displayed on big frames (glass removed) with some kind of colored background (we used wrapping paper for some, parchment for others). My ever-patient husband worked really hard to attach my bookmarks with little stickies to the frames. Some of them he actually sewed on with fishing line. It was an overly complex process. And of course, I keep buying more bookmarks so we had to keep making up new displays of them. Then he suggested putting little magnets on them and putting them on magnet boards like the magnets are on, but, see above, Way Too Much money. Then I stumbled on these really inexpensive magnetic white boards on Walmart. Like 80% less than the ones from Amazon. So now we’re converting the bookmarks over to these. I am obsessed with them and they were the perfect solution.