You have to Believe, Embody & Trust.

First Believe. Believe in yourself. These 3 little words can feel trite, right? Like they should be on a poster next to one of a kitten “hanging in there” on a branch. But if you look deeper, you will learn that true belief in yourself is the foundation of all real change. Whatever it is you want to create, you have to believe it is possible for you. Belief in our dreams, in our capabilities and possibilities can be challenging because we have to first uncover and overcome old pattens, programming and well work habits. What you believe to be true for you will either hold you back or propel you forward.

The next step is to Embody it. In order to move towards our desired future, we must learn to embody that future now- in our current life, before anything external changes. Decide how the future version of you would move in the world. How would they talk, walk and most importantly feel? Confident? Proud? Joyful? You have the power to feel those feelings now. Ask yourself: Would my future self feel this way? Would they act this way? Act as if. Feel the feelings. Practice Embodying your future now.

And then Trust. Trust that it is possible for you. Trust is so challenging because our brains are always trying to keep us safe by keeping us the same and in this service of survival it is so much easier to talk ourselves out of something then to talk ourselves into it. So when things look dark, when you feel like giving up, when well meaning friends tell you it’s impossible, when it seems to be taking longer than it should, that is when you must double down on Trust.

Trust that your dream is possible.

Trust that you will be led, that you will be shown the way.

Trust that you are a powerful creator.

Trust that you can change your life.

Believe. Embody. Trust.

Will you BET on yourself?

You have become an emotional vibrational match for your dream.

But if we have not experienced what we want physically, how can we feel the feelings of having it?

Just let your Why be your Way.

Your “Why” helps you get into the feeling place of what you want to create. And that feeling place creates your life.

So if you have a goal or a dream you want to achieve, practice following your Why.

Let’s say you want to create a passive income stream. Why do you want that?

Your “Why” might sound something like: “So I can live anywhere”, “spend more time with my family”, “help others financially”, “be my own boss”, etc.

Once you know your Whys, allow them to guide you to the feelings associated with them.

Anyone who has ever desired anything has done so because they believe they will feel better in the having of it.

So What are the “better Feelings” of your Why?

Perhaps you think you will feel more Confident? Joyful? Secure? Peaceful?

Name the emotions and start to live from those emotions now.

Yes, now even before the thing shows up.

You can do this. You do it all the time. You think of a past memory and feel sad. Or you imagine a future event and feel anxious. The actual situation is not happening in your physical reality but the feelings are very real.

So use that powerful imagination of yours to practice feeling the emotions of your dream life now and synch up with your future self.

Focus on your Why. Follow it to the Feelings. Live those Feelings now.

And your life will become equal to your emotional state.

You will be open to new possibilities. You will discover new opportunities.

Following your Why is a life changing practice. Be kind and gentle with yourself on the journey.

Just allow your Why be your way.

So if you feel off track in your creation process, perhaps it’s time for a RESET.

Raise. Evaluate. Synch up. Expect. Trust.

RAISE - raise up your emotions, your energy, your frequency. When you are feeling stuck, do whatever it takes to get into a more positive feeling place-take a nap, pet a dog, watch a funny movie. Regardless of what is happening in your current reality, try as much as possible to Raise yourself up into a good feeling place. A happier life begins by being happy now.

EVALUATE: from that powerful, positive place, Evaluate your current situation. What is working and what do you want more of? What do you want to change?- You have to know what you don’t want in order to know what you do want. Don’t get caught up in this step too long- just evaluate honestly and move forward.

SYNCH UP: Become a vibrational match for your dream life and Synch Up with your future self. How do you do this? You have to get in touch with the Feelings associated with that new version of you- how would you feel? Calm? Confident? Courageous? - practice feeling those emotions now and Synch Up with the life you want to live.

EXPECT: When you expect something to happen you see possibilities and opportunities everywhere. Practice living your life in Expectation mode. Even if you don’t yet see evidence of it in your world yet- know it is coming to you. Take inspired action from this place of Expectation.

TRUST: Let go of How and trust that it will come to you. Trust is a Practice that we have to master in order to truly create our future lives. Trust in your own power. Trust that you don’t have to know how or when it will come to you. Trust that you don’t have to figure it all out. Trust that there is more to our world than we fully understand. Trust in the Magic of it all.

So, if you feel in need of a RESET, take the time to Raise your energy up, Evaluate what you want to change, Synch up with the feelings of your future self, Expect it to come to you and Trust that is it all working out.

And remember, creating a life you love is Big Work. Work that brings up trauma and subconscious beliefs. So be kind and gentle with yourself as you work through a RESET.

It is possible to create a new life for yourself. Just keep Raising, Evaluating, Synching Up, Expecting and Trusting. And you will begin to see a whole new you.

Of course having a job at all is something to be extremely grateful for, but if you have the longing to someday support yourself doing something that brings you more joy, purpose and meaning, then it is important to get really clear about where you are now.

Is your work something that you really want to do or is it just something you are good at doing?

Is it a Calling or a Competency?

It can be difficult to discern the difference. We have to learn to quiet all of the external voices praising our skills and listen to that small voice within us.

A Competency utilizes some of our talents

A Calling brings out our full potential

A Competency is rewarded and reinforced by the external world

A Calling is often labeled as impractical and risky by the external world

A Competency keeps us “safe” and sometimes playing small

A Calling takes a leap into the Unknown

A Competency just pays the bills

A Calling connects us to our purpose and values

A Competency is “good enough”

A Calling shoots for the stars

A Calling is that little voice within that urges us to share our unique gifts with the world.

And of course, working at a job to take care of yourself and those who depend on you can be a calling. Just don’t forget to feed yours soul while you work to pay the bills. Don’t forget to let the joy in.

This is your one precious life and if you feel called to do something you must find a way to answer that calling, even if it means staying where you are and making a plan to get your passion project out into the world.

Perhaps you find a way to add some of your Calling into your Competency ?

Real change starts with questioning your current circumstances.

It might be a Competency but maybe it’s not your Calling.

And knowing the difference will help you follow your heart and begin to change your life.

I AM. These are two of the most important words in the English language.

No other two words spoken together have more creative power to help us move forward or to keep us stuck playing out our same old story over and over again.

Your I AMs are your foundation. Your I AMs are your identity.

They are the private things you think about yourself.

They are the public things you say about yourself.

They define your capabilities. Your limitations. Your possibilities.

Your I AMs are who you think you are. And who you think you are creates your life.

So if your I AMs are this powerful, perhaps you should check in with yours from time to time, don’t you think?

What do you believe to be true about you?

A helpful way to discover your I AMs are is find a quiet time to journal and just start filling in the blank after the words I AM.

Some of your I AMs might be labels or roles in your life. Such as: I AM a parent or I AM an employee. Just keep going past the surface definitions.

Dig deeper. You might find you get to some I AMs that seem to limit you such as:

I AM too old to start over. I AM unlucky in love. I AM not enough.

Or they might not seem self-limiting at all to you. They very likely might feel familiar and true for you.

You might say, well this is just the way it is. I do have this barrier. I was born into this family. I have this limitation.

This is who I AM.

However, if you really want to change your life or create something new, you must learn to check in and question your I AMs. Especially those that you have just accepted as your truth.

Are they really true? Where did you learn them? Could you design new I AMs?

Try out new ones such as :

I AM brilliant.

I AM resilient.

I AM loveable.

I AM capable of change.

This process will feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable at first. Just keep checking and challenging your I AMs. This is Big Work. So be kind and gentle with yourself.

And remember… I AM can create something wonderful or keep you stuck.

I AM can be the launching pad for your dreams.

I AM can help you change your life.

Are you ready to check your I AMs?

A Longing for the Analog.

I recently returned from a busy work trip. And as I was out in our world, I intentionally looked up, slowed down and witnessed this life we are leading.

Airports. Flight delays. Meetings. “Hey Siri, directions to.”. Traffic. Phone in hand as it is a part of us. Texting. Posting. Selfies. Pics or it didn’t happen. Multi-tasking. 12% attention levels. Hearing without listening and absorbing without understanding. Necks hunched over, connected but alone in the crowd. Batteries low.

Back home in the quiet of this early morning, I find myself searching for a word to give meaning to what I am feeling:

A search for the simple.

A homecoming to humanity.

A longing for the Analog.

Ana-longing. Yes, that’s it.

A portmanteau to make sense of this moment.

Ana-longing for:

Birdsong.

A quiet morning.

Reading an actual book.

Handwriting in my Journal.

Phone off and in the other room.

Strong coffee & a sweet pup snoozing next to me.

Muddy rain boots outside the front door.

A longing for this simple life.

Does this “Ana-longing” stem from the fact that I am a proud member of the last generation to grow up without the internet?

Perhaps. But please don’t label me a luddite. The wonderful life that technology has brought cannot be denied. I value it, of course I do. Technology allows me to put these words out into the world and hopefully reach you through time and space and screen.

But it’s the connection tech brings not the convenience that I value most.

The ability to bring us to each other. To make us feel less alone.

And while technology can connect, it more often divides and overwhelms.

So how to reset? How to recharge?

I invite you to “Ana-long” with me.

Start your day slow.

Take a walk without your phone.

Take a deep breath. Like a really deep breath.

Look up.

Smile at a stranger.

Create more than you consume.

Start a conversation.

Start a movement.

Be a human.

Recharge.

Will you join me in longing for the analog?

For the most part, we have been taught that our lives are up to Chance. We go about our lives thinking, feeling and acting as we are victims of external events.

And most of us live out our days controlled by these outside circumstances.

We wake up in the morning and wonder what will happen to us today.

Will it be a “good” day or a “bad” day?

When something “good’ happens we feel uplifted. When something bad happens we feel defeated. We hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You can change. You always have a choice. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. Yes, even now.

One of the most powerful and liberating steps we can take, is to stop seeing ourselves as victims of external circumstances and realize that you always have a choice.

And you are creating your life through your choices.

You can choose your reactions.

You can choose your attitude.

You can choose to find meaning and purpose in your life.

Even when life seems dark. Even when we have suffered extreme pain and loss.

Dr. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of one of my “desert island” books, “Mans Search for Meaning”, called our ability to choose our attitudes regardless of external circumstances, the last of our human freedoms.

Even under the most trying circumstances, our choice of how we respond cannot be taken from us.

We can choose joy. We can choose optimism. We can choose gratitude.

Life if not happening to us. We are happening to life.

You are not a victim of circumstance. Your life is up to Choice, not Chance.

Yes, even when times are dark. Yes even now.

Because Joy is not completely dependent on external circumstances.

Joy is an inside job.

Okay okay.I hear the groans. Like come on, you are telling me to choose Joy in the midst of the horrors going on in our world?

I know. It can absolutely be challenging to understand how we can create Joy- especially when we are faced with heartbreak and devastating loss. But even in the darkest times, joy can creep in.

Two people can experience the same sunrise. One can be trapped in pain and anxiety. The other can be awestruck and overcome by joy.

The event is neutral! We create the Joy.

Joy is a practice.

Joy is a choice.

Joy is an option.

And the simplest path toward realizing this is to Just Observe Yourself.

or…. because I have never met an acronym I didn’t love: J.O.Y.

Pause. And take the time to become aware of your thoughts and feelings.

Some helpful Questions for self-reflection as you Just Observe Yourself are:

Where is my focus?

What thoughts and emotions are overwhelming me? Are they even true?

Am I reacting from an old subconscious pattern or am I actively choosing my response?

Is this an obstacle or an opportunity?

Do I “have to” or do I “get to”?

Does this relationship, job, situation serve the life I really want to live or is it just comfortable and familiar?

Could I choose Peace instead of being “right”?

How am I bringing the meaning to this situation?

The answers to these questions and many others, the self reflection they bring, will put you on the path towards your greatest Joy.

Joy that is not dependent on a sunset or a relationship.

Joy that can put a small smile on your face in the midst of difficult times.

That “back pocket” joy. The kind that is always available, that you can pull out at any moment you need it.

Yes, even now.

It’s an inside job. And real and lasting Joy comes from Just Observing Yourself.

You just don’t have to know how the Middle will play out.

The beginning is where you are today, with all that you have created and believed is possible up until now. The ending is your goal, the future vision of you.

The Middle is the How.

How you will get from where you are now to where you want to be. And as challenging as it is to let go of the How, you really don’t have to figure this part out.

Magic happens when you let the Middle be a Riddle, one that the time and energy and intentions works out for you.

Yep. It’s me again, oh so kindly nudging you to trust the Universe.

Letting go of the Middle, the “how” it will happen is extremely challenging. It goes against everything we have been taught by our external world. We are taught that we have to plan, strategize and work hard to achieve a goal. And yes, controlling how something will happen is one way to write your next chapter.

But there is another way, an easier way. You can let go of the How, take the path of least resistance and allow the Middle to be a Riddle.

Letting the Middle be a Riddle gets you out striving and struggle and into the magic of possibility. You learn to focus on the ending and the goal. You begin to feel the emotions of your future and take inspired action as if it was already here.

When you let go of having to know exactly how the Middle will play out, you learn to trust your intuition & know that there are many paths to achieving your goal.

You build an inner reservoir of resilience. You cultivate a deep inner knowing that your dream will come to you, you just don’t have to know how it will come.

Letting the Middle be a Riddle is Big Work.

You have to become aware of your limiting beliefs and subconscious programs.

You have to learn to let go and trust.

You don’t have to know how it will happen you just have to trust that it will.

Allow the universe surprise and delight you.

This is the stuff of miracles.

Let the Middle be a Riddle and allow your next chapter to unfold.

And yes. Action is necessary and important. And geez louise, I write about the magic of Action often. However, creating a new life for ourselves is much more of a BEING business than a DOING business.

If we really want to change, we have to start by practicing BEING a new version of our selves now.

This can be an extremely challenging concept to understand. How do we BE a new person without taking action? What are we supposed to do, just sit around and dream of a new life without DOING anything to get there?

Well no. And yes. Sort of.

Here me out.

Our thoughts and feelings create our lives. And when we can only see the “reality” of our current life circumstances, we create more of the same.

So we have to be able to overcome our current reality in order to really change our lives.

We need to become a “vibrational” match for future. We must learn to think and feel equal to the reality we want to create.

This is where the BEING comes in.

You have a superpower. Your imagination. Your big beautiful brain can produce feelings just from thought alone.

We know this. We do it all the time. You have a happy memory and feel happy. You anticipate the Monday morning meeting and feel anxious.

To get into the BEING business, first Decide what you want your future life to look like. Then define how it would Feel to live that life.

Then go about your day living from the BEING place of your future life. Imagine how your future self would feel…Confident? Secure? Calm? Happy? You can feel those feelings now regardless of your current circumstances.

When you get into the BEING business you are actually priming your brain to think that your future already exists. You will start to live your life as this new person.

Then you will take Inspired Action from this feeling place and new opportunities & possibilities will appear.

This is Big Work. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you learn to get into the BEING business.

And let the DOING flow from the BEING.

Why does the Heat make us Freeze? Ok. Here me out.

Every time a natural disaster or extreme weather event occurs, sustainability champions everywhere rise up, and say “this will be it, this disaster, this record, this image, this will finally make people wake up and act.” The rallying calls continue, but over and over again these events fail to affect real change and lasting change.

There’s a predominant assumption in our society that if we just give people more proof, if everyone knew more about the effects and predictions of our changing climate, then we would care more and subsequently do more. As if understanding the science is what's been standing between us and action.

Spoiler alert: Our human brains don’t actually work that way.

As much as we like to think that we make decisions with logic and rationality, the truth is: We are emotional creatures first and foremost.

Logic justifies what emotions decide.

So when we are faced with overwhelming information like the fact that it’s getting hotter and hotter, earlier and earlier every year, when we encounter scary messaging like “Our planet is dying!”; our brains toggle into Threat Mode. We freeze. We shut down. The more frightening the information, the less equipped we are to do anything with it. More evidence doesn't move us forward. It can actually stop us in our tracks.

In Threat Mode, we can’t be creative or solution focused. We can only focus on survival.

This is simple biology. When we feel threatened or overwhelmed, the human nervous system has 3 basic response options: we can stay and fight, we can flee (flight) or we can shut down (freeze). And the feelings that a record-breaking heat wave bring up, (helplessness, hopelessness, fear, depression), are low level survival emotions; the ones that are especially good at triggering our freeze response.

Think of it like a deer in headlights. The deer is not being stupid or stubborn. It’s nervous system is just so overwhelmed that it locks up, freezes and becomes immobile. Humans do the same thing around climate change. The scale of the problem feels so massive and the feeling so unbearable that the brain essentially says “too much!” and shuts down. And the bigger and more urgent the crisis feels, the more paralyzed people can become.

So, it’s not that people don’t care about climate change. We care. We are just frozen by our biology.

So what can we do? How can we meet this moment of crisis?

First of all, Awareness.

Awareness of an amazing biological system that kicks in to keep us safe.

Compassion for our shared humanity.

In my work as a trauma-informed coach, the shift that actually moves people isn't better data. It's feeling genuinely seen in their fear first. When someone feels safe enough to sit with the hard feelings, not push them away, that's when the door to action opens. That's when creativity, strategic thinking and real solutions become possible.

So, understanding before activism.

Understanding that yes, we have a climate crisis, but we also have a human crisis.

Call me a hopeless optimist, but I believe we care deeply about the health of our planet. I just also believe we have to take care of ourselves and each other in order to move towards collective action.

We have to heal the people before we heal the planet.

You need to “Match” the emotion of your new life before you “Hatch” your new life.

This can be a challenging practice. How do we Match the emotion of having our dream job, partner, home etc. while we are still feeling the emotions of our current life? How do we feel it before we can see it?

The first step is to become aware that we have the ability to manufacture the emotion of the thing without the experience of the actual event. We do this all the time. We think about the upcoming blind date & feel nervous. We anticipate the Monday meeting & feel dread.

Our brains have the amazing ability to create an emotion by thought alone.

Once you are aware that it is possible to create an emotion, then it just takes practice.

Identify what your dream life would feel like and then practice Matching those emotions before you take action toward that new life.

Let’s say you want to leave your current job and “hatch” your own business.

What would it FEEL like to be living that future life as an entrepreneur? Can you name the emotions?

Perhaps you would feel Free? Excited? Purposeful? Brave? Powerful?

Once you can name your future feelings, you can start to practice feeling those emotions now. And like anything we practice it gets easier the more we do it.

Little by little, day by day, just keep on feeling the feelings of your dream life now.

And pro-tip, it might be easier to match the emotions of your future life if you understand the science behind this practice.

Quantum Physics calls this “Matching it before we Hatch it” our Electromagnetic Signature.

We carry this Electromagnetic Signature with us & vibrate into the field of possibilities.

We we combine a clear intention (what we want to Hatch) with an elevated emotion (our Match) we become vibrationally aligned with a potential that exists in the quantum field.

When we are emotionally Matched with the emotions of what we want to Hatch, we begin to see possibilities & opportunities. People come into our lives, doors open, coincidences happen.

So practice feeling the emotions of what you want to create. Live in that emotional space as much as possible.

And once you Match it, then you are ready to Hatch it!

We often believe that circumstances cause a certain emotion. However, events are actually neutral- they don’t have any meaning until you run them through your Filter.

For example, You don’t just get stuck in traffic and automatically feel frustration or impatience. The event filters through you. And then you decide how you will react emotionally. You can spend your time stuck on the highway seething with anger or you can spend the same time catching up on your favorite podcast in peace.

You can Fix your Filter. You can learn to choose your emotions.

It might be easier to understand that we all have a Filter for the smaller events of our lives, like getting stuck in traffic. But what about the seemingly big events? What about when when a romantic relationship doesn’t work out? Or a cancer diagnosis, loss of a loved one or a natural disaster? Those big events just seem to cause heartbreak or pain or devastation. It doesn’t seem like we have a choice in how we feel; things happen then we just feel.

However, we always have a Filter. Always.

Fixing your Filter starts with awareness. When you’ve done the work on yourself and you have the ability to step back and really look at the events in your life, you can start to fix your filter and look at life differently.

When you Fix your Filter……

You can be real with yourself about the story you are telling.

You can choose to be a light in the darkness.

You can choose to trust in the midst of tragedy.

You can move from helpless to hopeful.

You can move out of the energy of the problem and become the solution.

Our filter allows the emotions. Our emotions create our lives.

When you fix your filter it doesn’t mean that you are free from pain or that your days will always be sunny. No one is immune from this human experience. However, you are in charge of your Filter. You get to decide how events, big or small, affect your life.

Fix your filter. Choose to see the world through the filter of love instead of the filter of fear. Or worry. Or regret. You filter will determine your days.

Make the decision to Fix your Filter. And watch your life begin to change.

If you’re like me you the tug toward the next chapter feels oh so very strong. Something new is brewing. I am preparing to make a leap into the unknown & of course I am petrified, Yep, my big beautiful brain is trying it’s very best to keep me safe by keeping me the same. I feel scared but also excited. And overwhelmed & anxious & joyful & well, name an emotion, I am feeling it.

As I navigate my way through this sea of emotion, I am guided by 2 words.

Effort and Allowing. And because I love a good Portmanteau, I mixed them up into a magical, meaningful-to-me word: Effor-llowing.

Efforllowing has been guiding me- holding me up. Keeping me moving forward.

Efforlowing means that all change comes with a bit of Effort and a whole lot of Allowing: taking a step towards your dream while staying in the possibility of receiving it.

Yes of course we have to make the EFFORT to move toward the life we want, the change we want to see in our lives but we also have to ALLOW it to come to us.

Effort: it’’s what our world tells us to do to get what we want. Work hard. Hustle. Do the thing. And yes Action is necessary. But know that it works best if it is inspired action- An action that is backed up by the belief that it is possible for you. Steer your action in the direction of your dreams- make the call, send the email, sign up for the course, apply for the job…. Yes do the thing- just try not to grip the wheel so tightly.

Allowing: This is a lot trickier for us to understand because our society rewards effort & action. Allowing it to come to you can seem lazy & unproductive. But allowing is is a necessary part of creation. We have to be ready to receive. We have to believe in possibility. We have to get out of our own way and overcome our subconscious programming, beliefs & patterns.

So can you learn to practice a bit of Effor-llowing?

Because hustle without belief creates exhaustion. Hard work without possibility leads to frustration.

Effort + Allowing = joyful creation. Effor-llowing leads to real & lasting change.

Change is big work. Moving forward can be challenging.

So be kind and gentle with yourself.

Just keep adding a dash of Effort with a heaping scoop of Allowing.

And let it be easy.

Last week, I had the honor of working with a client who was struggling to make an important decision. This person was at a major crossroads, one that held real implications for their business and their personal life. As we weighed the pros and cons of each choice, I offered a piece of advice that has helped me in the past. I suggested to them that they just go ahead and choose one path and then go to work on making that path the correct one. In other words- “Make the decision and then make the decision right”.

These aren’t my words, but the words of Psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer, who is most well-known for her research on mindfulness. Langer proposes that if you’re struggling to make a decision, you should just go ahead and choose one path, and then make that path the right one. This might seem whimsical or naive at first glance, right? If we can’t decide what to do we should just randomly choose? What if it is a life changing decision like taking a job or not or moving across the country or staying put? As radical as this advice might seem, focusing on one choice and then making that the right one is the fastest way to peace and moves us forward out of the grip of indecision and the hopelessness of regret.

Because the reality is when you’re faced with two choices they will both have pros and cons, right? Both paths will have opportunities and obstacles . Both paths will have triumphs and challenges. They will be different experiences, yes, but that that doesn’t necessarily mean one is better than the other.

We try to base our decisions on prediction. Our brains want to be absolutely certain that this path will be better than the other one. However, we can’t really know until we are actually living in the experience. You can only live one life so we can’t truly make a comparison.

So if you are struggling between two equally positive choices and after careful consideration you still find yourself paralyzed by indecision or if you have already made a big leap and are looking back with regret, know that you have a choice. You can make the decision Right.

We only get this one life so instead of looking back and spending any more time looking on the road not taken sometimes the answer is to just make the decision right.

Make your choice the right choice.

Know that all paths have obstacles and opportunities.

Move forward with the conviction that you can make the decision and you can also make the decision right.

Indecision is incapacitating. Regret robs us of our precious time.

Deciding is freedom. And you can choose to make the decision right.

And I don’t know about you, but for me 2026 so far has been a season of transformation and tragedy. Grief, loss and uncertainty have been the main themes around here these past few months. And while no human life is free of trauma, it does seem that there are times when it all seems to hit hits at once. And this has been one of those seasons for me.

And now that I feel a bit on the other side of the tumult, I am reflecting back on negative events and figuring out how to find the good in all of it.

And I have a question for you:

Research shows that it does. Positive Psychologists have been studying the phenomena of “Post Traumatic Growth” for years and have discovered that people who endure extreme adversity can often experience positive personal growth afterward.

It can be so difficult to imagine that any good can come of all the stress, crisis and trauma that personal tragedies and global events bring us all.

However, some people are able to actually Bounce Back Better after tragic events.

So are you able to look back and discover how you have experienced positive personal growth despite the struggles you’ve endured?

Can you see how you may have been changed for the better by the challenge?

Bouncing Back Better can look like:

The ability to see new Possibilities.

A renewed belief in your own Power and Resilience.

A focus on what really matters.

A longing for more authentic connections.

A deeper appreciation for life. For family & friends.

However, while all of the positive benefits of Bouncing Back Better would definitely enhance our lives, some of us have a more challenging time finding the Silver Lining than others.

So how do we focus on the Positive so we can Bounce Back Better?

Your superpower is GRATITUDE.

Oh I can hear the groans. I get it. When you are in If you are in the midst of a challenging time or even like me looking back on one, having someone telling you to find the gratitude can make you want to sock them! But I say it because it works.

Finding gratitude, finding something, positive to focus on, starts to shift you out of your current situation and into Post Traumatic Growth.

And it can be something small. This morning I am focusing on the sun shining in my window and creating a warm glow across my office. And I am choosing to feel the gratitude of this moment. Because yes, it is a choice.

So if you can find something to be grateful for- Focus on it . Find more of it. Dig Deep and double down on it.

Just keep focusing on the good and you will get more of it. You will find your Post Traumatic Growth.

And you will begin to Bounce Back Better.

It’s a sort of self-talk sabotage that sounds like this: WHEN X happens or when I achieve X or when I have X, THEN I will be happy. As in when I get a degree, get married, get the job, the house or the $ amount in the bank then I will feel the way I want to feel.

The “When-Then” loop can also be a way to stay in your self imposed safety zone & keep a goal or a dream or even an unfamiliar feeling just out of reach. As in, when the kids go back to school, then I’ll take care of myself. Or when I get that job, then I will feel secure. Or when I have a romantic relationship then I’ll feel loved.

And the “When-Then” loop is truly a loop, right? A loop we get stuck in. Even if we get to our Then we find another When to focus upon.

And the cycle starts all over again.

So what do you do when you find yourself spiraling into this self destructive “When- Then” loop? How do you find peace where you are as you move to where you want to be?

The power to break this cycle lies in your ability to be fully right here, right now. Not in the future. Not in the past. Just now.

And if you can truly stop and access the present moment, you will learn that you can generate the feelings of your “Then” right now, regardless of your external circumstances. You can feel the feeling now.

The that balance lies in being present, feeling the emotions of your “then” and moving towards your dream.

And yes, it is challenging to stay present. Our brains want to cast us into the future or ruminate on the past. The pull of the When- Then loop is strong.

Just practice.

Mindfulness.

Meditation.

Writing.

Creation over consumption.

Breath work.

Nature breaks.

Dog walks.

Phone free zones.

Make the time to practice presence.

Align with the present moment. Feel the feelings of your future. And go forward towards your dreams.

You don’t have to wait for “When” to feel your “Then”.

You don’t have to delay your Joy.

The present moment holds the magic.

Dreaming FROM it means you feel the emotions of your future before you see the results in your life.

Because breaking news: our emotions are powerful creative forces!

The way we feel about our future either holds us back or propels us forward.

When we don’t feel equal to our future we constantly reinforce our present. We keep dreaming OF it.

But when we can get into the feelings of our dreams, we start to live FROM them.

For example: Lets say you dream OF leaving your job and starting your own business. You make a plan, you set out to take action but if you are still feeling the emotions of lack, worry and unworthiness you may have some success but you will most likely experience setbacks and may not ever fully realize your dream.

A faster way to get there is to dream From it - meaning figure out what owning your own business would FEEL like and live your life from those feelings now. How would it FEEL? Confident? Proud? Secure? Happy? Live those emotions now as you take inspired action towards your dream.

Because you can only create a dream that you FEEL equal to. So start to feel equal to it now.

Dreaming OF it keeps us in the emotions of not having it

Dreaming FROM it sends out a new vibration

Dreaming OF it is a hoping but doubting and second guessing

Dreaming FROM it is a confident knowing and expectation

Dreaming OF it is running on the subconscious programs of the past

Dreaming FROM it is living from the emotions of your future

Dreaming OF it keeps us stuck in the struggle

Dreaming FROM it means we embody the feelings and move forward

Plans and actions are definitely important, but it is our feelings that fuel our dreams.

The work of changing our lives is big big work, so give yourself grace and space my friend. Just take baby steps each day. Work on living more and more in the emotions of your future.

What would it FEEL like? Start there, then take inspired action and move towards your new life, dreaming FROM it!

We have been conditioned to have “if/then” or “when/then” thinking around Happiness.

If I make X amount of money, Then I will be happy. If I get the job, Then I will be happy. When I get through this situation, finish my degree, get married, move to a new place, Then I will be happy.

We view the present moment as a thing to “get through’ on the way to Happiness.

The truth is that Happiness doesn’t just Happen.

It’s not a destination, its a choice.

Our happiness breakthrough comes when we become aware that we get to choose happiness. We have a choice in every moment of every day.

And not only is happiness a choice, it is also a powerful tool to help you navigate through stressful times.

The research in positive psychology shows that the traditional “success leads to happiness” model is backwards, happiness actually leads to success. Yes, practicing happiness makes us more creative, collaborative, resilient and better at solving problems.

So to me practicing happiness seems like a worthwhile endeavor. And I know I am in danger of being dismissed as frivolous, toxic or out of touch but I am going out on a limb to say:

Happiness is serious business.

Happiness is the fuel we need to navigate these uncertain times, chase our dreams, be there for one another and fight injustice.

To learn more about how to harness the power of Happiness, check out the work of the Shawn Achor and particularity his book The Happiness Advantage.

Happiness doesn’t just happen. We get to choose it in every moment of every day,

When we practice happiness we begin to heal ourselves. We heal each other. We might just begin to heal the world.

How will you choose happiness today?

Often our inner dialogues are filled with questions- we wake up in the morning and ask ourselves:

What’s going to happen to me today?

Will this be a good day or a bad day?

How will they react when I do this?

Why hasn’t my life worked out as planned?

What’s in it for me?

These mostly subconscious questions continue throughout our days. And this line of thinking in never ending questions fails to bring us any real and lasting peace.

So how do you stop this incessant internal inquiry?

First of all become Aware. This is the big work of our lives. Awareness. Once you are able to really hear the questions you are asking of life then you can stop and learn to Let Life Question You.

Practice getting still and listening. When you let life question you, you just might hear:

What were you put on this earth to do?

Are you living a life that is true to your values?

How will you choose to share your gifts with the world?

How can you make a difference in someone’s life?

Do you find meaning in your work?

When you are open to being questioned by life you begin to discover your true purpose. You begin to live a more meaningful fulfilling life.

You learn about yourself. You wake up to your potential. You find peace. You fall in love with you.

You move out of survival mode and get into creation mode.

As Victor Frankl said “each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life…”

Get still and listen. Decide to live with intention. Learn to stop asking questions of life.

And Let Life Question You.