I once asked my spiritual teacher how she looks at grief. She told me she believes grief is the final stage before letting go. She reminded me that often we aren’t ready to let go. So we hold on. And there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we need to hold on. But lately faced with grief, I asked myself if I could make space for the possibility of letting go.

When trying to conceive, you so often hear the advice, “When you let go, it will happen.”

Oof. That can feel so invalidating and infuriating. How do you let go of the thing you want most? How do you not think about it all the time?

The reality is, often, you can’t.

So instead, you do grief work.

You hold space for all of the emotions. For multiple emotions existing at once. You can be genuinely happy when your friend announces her pregnancy while also feeling angry, resentful, or jealous. Holding space for hope and sadness at the same time.

This is grief work.

Another way I like to think about grief is as a rock in a body of water. The rock starts in a cup, then a bathtub, then a pond, a river, an ocean. The rock never changes, but as life grows and expands around it, the body of water changes. You bump into the rock less often. And every time you hit the rock, it still hurts. But you hit it less and less.

Pregnancy, too, can be a form of grief work.

There is so much anticipatory grief. It’s the awareness of all the things that are going to change, but haven’t changed yet.

I took my grief work seriously when I was pregnant. I was intentional about honouring the parts of myself I had a feeling would change.

The woman who could leave the house at the drop of a hat.
The woman who could lead retreats and trainings without having to coordinate childcare or wonder what travelling with an infant would look like.
The therapist who could see six clients a day with no lunch break.
The wife. The daughter. The friend.

I watched a video where Cree Summers shared that in some cultures, before a woman gives birth, she participates in a grief ceremony. Women gather and say goodbye to the woman they once knew to make space for who she is becoming. I did a version of this for my own baby shower, while also intentionally creating my own grief ceremonies weekly. Small moments where I acknowledged and said good-bye to parts of myself that I knew would change.

Now in postpartum, grief hits in a different way.

There are the things I feel like I’m missing out on, while also feeling deeply grateful for what I have.

Relationships are shifting weekly. I can’t show up in the same way I once did in work. My summer has consisted of nap traps and so much walking around the kitchen bouncing a baby.

In postpartum we can grieve time, space, body autonomy. The list can go on and on.

Naming it as grief has been so helpful for me. Because I know it is not all grief. There are so many incredible moments too. I can find pockets where life gets to grow around the grief in unexpected, new and beautiful ways.

As my friend and fellow teacher Deagan shares about grief, you can hold the sadness and the sweetness at the same time.

So if you are in your own season of grief, I want you to know that you are allowed to be there. Naming it often helps it move through faster.

And honestly, I don’t want to sell you on Yoga, or on a Yoga Teacher training.

Because, if you’re like me, you might be overwhelmed by the world, or your world. And the last thing you need is another person telling you what you should be doing.

I get it if you are tied of being SOLD on things. So I am not going to sell you on a yoga teacher training. Because like I said I don’t think yoga is for everyone. It can be, but it might not be for you.

And, trust me, I know we love to say it is. And well meaning people do their best to make it for everyone. I understand the intention behind it. Yoga can be for everyone, but it is okay if it is not your thing. Maybe it’s another form of movement, religion, community, art, time in nature is more for you.

But if you ARE pulled to yoga, have been practicing for years, or maybe just started, I wanted to share just how much it can offer.

Because Yoga completely transformed my life.

I’ve been practicing for over 20 years and teaching for over 17. Everything from classes to retreats and workshops, trainings to corporate events, and community gatherings. Along the way yoga became more than something I taught on a mat. It changed my relationship with my body, my thoughts, my relationship to discomfort and with the unknown. It supported me while pregnant and has been a lifeline postpartum.

I weave what I’ve learned through yoga into almost every therapy session I lead, whether it is obvious or subtle. It has genuinely been one of the best investments I have ever made in myself.

And I have watched it open doors for Feelvana graduates too. Our graduates have:

• Lead retreats

• Opened studios

• Brought yoga into their doula and physiotherapy practices

• Built online platforms

• Grown breathwork businesses

• Became coaches and therapists

• Left corporate careers to create something of their own

• Met their best friends

• One even met the love of their life, and started a family together (yep true story)

I can’t promise that Yoga Teacher Training will change your life. But I also can’t promise that it wont.

And maybe that is enough of a reason to get curious.

So if you have been thinking of doing a training for a while, the idea keeps coming back to you, maybe 2027 is your year.

Feelvana YTT is more than about learning how to teach a yoga class. We weave together movement, philosophy, anatomy, connection, reflection and more during our 2 weeks together in Mexico. It is an investment in yourself.

We also have payment plans available to make the investment a little more manageable, and the early-bird tuition rate is available until September 1st.

If you’re curious respond to this email with any questions you might have.

Or head to feelvana.com to learn more.

And maybe this is the year you apply :)

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I will keep this open, and not behind a paywall so you can book mark it when you need it. Enjoy :)

Recorded Meditations:

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Since 2018, we have been weaving together the ancient teachings of yoga, with therapeutics, self development, deep introspection. Yes, this training will allow you to leave with the confidence to teach public and private yoga classes…

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Ughhh. But …

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After finally settling into our home, I was quickly off for the month of February to lead our 5th 200 hour yoga teacher training in Mexico. I then had about two weeks at home to rest, settle, and get back on a plane to lead the 3rd Being & Becoming Retreat in Guatemala.

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I was experiencing Janzu, one of…

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It’s been a moment. I hope your holidays were what you needed, whether that meant connection, rest, distraction, or simply getting through to the other side.

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I vaguely recall it was a series of questions designed to reveal your learning and leadership style. At the end, it assigned you a colour based on your answers.

I was Gold. Which meant I was organized, dependable, a natural leader, someone who liked bringing people together and making sure things…

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Limited spaces available - reserve your spot now.

Before the year comes to a close, I’m heading back to Toronto to co-facilitate a deeply nourishing afternoon with Chantée Dardaine of SelfCare TO.

Join us for two hours of deep care. Carve out space in your weekend to intentionally slow down. Al…

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