Finally updated my Ravelry projects page with what I’m working on and what I’ve finished lately. I also cleaned up my queue (after filling it with projects I knew I’d never get to soon). I’m just waiting on yarn to arrive in the mail and need to finish Margot’s tee. I’ve mostly done knits for the girls lately (fast, colorful, and I like making for them), but next up I want to make something for myself. This would be so fun, too - did you watch the movie??

I put off watching Come See Me in the Good Light for months because I didn’t think I had the emotional bandwidth for a documentary about a poet dying of cancer. But I was wrong. It’s not about dying. It’s about appreciating life. Yes it was sad, but it left me feeling more grateful than gutted.

Eyeing adding this outdoor reusable art painting station to my backyard. But I can’t get past the microplastics from the paint, so I’m researching alternatives.

This poster-sized cyanotype tutorial has been popping back up in my mind for weeks.

I learned recently about how some carpenters frame lumber in the orientation that the tree grew, and now I feel sad for trees that are installed upside down. You can keep dive in this book.

My umbilical cord doesn’t stretch that far, either.

Last week, my external hard drive mysteriously deleted thousands of my family photos while I was sleeping. It took me awhile to figure out what had happened, and luckily I got (most) of them back (thanks to having multiple backups and a tech savvy husband). But what’s odd is that 3 weeks prior, my iMac display started flickering and failed, and 2 weeks after that my iPhone display abruptly turned green and needed replacing. I’m quite precious with my electronics, and I’m not one to lose or break my tech. But inexplicable failures of software and hardware seems to pop up in multiples from time to time for me. As a kid I liked using a giant super magnet to erase VHS tapes, did I somehow become one of those magnets??

A few months ago I shared that I use a stamp pad to label the hundreds of paintings my in-house artist makes. I then realized the ink I got isn’t acid free so I replaced it with this acid-free ink on this blank refillable pad.

A decade ago I painted my nails red religiously. Then I stopped. It felt like I either had to work with my hands, or have painted nails. Never both. But I’ve since changed my tune, and I’m back to painting them cherry red, and I’m making things with my hands, too. I’d love to say painting my nails is a ritual that gives me a chance to slow down, but that’s the romantic version. The truth is I wish my fingernails never grew and they always stayed this color.

This woman learned to use a scythe to clear a field. She said she’s willing to put in the time to learn a new skill, and that even if it looks arduous, it’s not when you’re learning something new. I love that sentiment.

Happy weekend

AD :: We replaced our never-used outdoor seating corner with a real climbing structure and swing set. I made good on my report card to fix it! I wrote about the whole swap (and the era we’re in now) here. With my link here you can get 15% off your own modular set.

I happily bed share with Hattie. I wish the rhetoric wasn’t so abstinence-only about safe co-sleeping.

If I ever paint my dining room chairs red/orange, you’ll know why.

The title of the show, DTF St. Louis is what it is, but stay with it. It hooked me immediately and then when it turned into a genuinely tender love story that you don’t see coming, I really fell for it. I don’t want to spoil anything but the relationship is the whole heart of it. Jason Bateman, David Harbour, dark comedy, suburban malaise, a murder. After I finished it I went looking for what else creator Steven Conrad had made and found Patriot, which is its own particular deadpan (my favorite). I enjoyed it so much that I memorized a few of the quirky monologues solely so I could surprise/impress Ross when I recited them.

Speaking of David Harbour, Lily Allen put out West End Girl last October and I’m still listening the whole thing on repeat. Listen from track one straight through. Sharp, brutal, catchy, fun.

Someone on Instagram posted themselves kayaking, birdwatching, listening to an audiobook, and knitting simultaneously and I’m inspired. That is peak hobbying. I am now looking into kayaks. In the meantime I’m working on my second knit with Lang Yarns Eternity in colorway 4.

Grab the tissues.

I carry around my unfinished knitting just in case I want to pretend that I’ll find a spare moment to knit. I use this Lands End tote, but I’ve since learned the LL Bean version is better at standing up on its own? Anyone here own both and can weigh in?

I 3D printed a set of baby-proof handles for the IKEA Alex drawer unit and it’s reduced my number of hours spent putting everything back in/on my desk from 2 hours a day down to 15 minutes a day.

We’re now watching Widow’s Bay and appreciating the way they nailed the tone for both comedy and scary. 10/10.

My five-year-old baby is starting kindergarten and I just don’t understand how we can send infants school! She’s too little!!

I’m a little rusty on Weekly Roundups, but glad to be back.

I am not someone who does one thing at a time. I’m always half-doing four things and mentally running a list of six more.

Knitting is one of the only things that interrupts my to-do list. It gives my hands something to do and my brain just enough to focus on, that it can’t spiral through the to-do list. I’m actually more present when I’m at the park with my kinds when I have my knitting because my mind is relaxed.

We also had a hammock that got a use when it was just Margot. She and Ross would read out there and they both loved it. (I was probably busy clipping overgrowth or turning the compost). Then Hattie arrived, and the hammock cuddles became a competition for the same spot and there’s now more splinters, more snacks, more needs.

All this to say, we got rid of the seating corner entirely and replaced it with a play structure that the whole family can use (even at the same time!), multiple swings and climbing, too. It has a hammock seat that even I can enjoy, if I can ever just set down the clippers and sit. Bijou Build gifted us the whole system. You can see it in action here. You can click my link and use code THEGOLDHIVE for 15% off your own set. But a giveaway is coming too, if you wanna take the gamble on winning a structure.

I sat on this decision for a while (like I do all my decisions, for better or worse) mostly because we weren’t sure where it would live or whether it would actually grow with the girls. I initially planned for a playhouse when we renovated the yard. Thinking a cute cozy place to read would be nice. But I’ve come to learn that we have plenty cozy corners inside (that aren’t filled with spiders like an outdoor structure would be) and that what Margot and Hattie really need are places outdoors to get out energy, to do heavy work, to get vestibular input, to play. I struggled to find a play structure that would provide a cozy spot AND climbing and swinging. Everything felt like a compromise or way too big of a footprint that our yard could handle. I circled the Bijou Build site for two years (two years! oof) before committing. I wish I’d done it sooner.

We are outside as much as we can possibly be. And I’m making a goal of trying to sit down on that little hammock seat more.

Bijou Build components we got: Monkey Business Bundle (with wood), A-Frame Swing Arm Adaptor Kit (with wood), Outdoor Baby Swing with Supportive Seat, Sway Swing, Adventure LED Twister Spinner Toy, Adventure Skate Board Swing, Bijou Kubix Swing. I failed to order the Hover Swing, so that’s sitting in my shopping cart. Remember THEGOLDHIVE gets you 15% off!

A quick recap on the backyard transformation before the verdicts: This yard used to be consumed by a giant unused jacuzzi, a crumbling shed, and damaged two-tiered decking. We patched it for years with outdoor furniture and weed abatement, but it was always a band-aid. Then, in early 2022, we overhauled the whole space (here’s the full budget breakdown, if you’re curious what it cost). We added a small lawn, a seating area with a firepit, fruit trees, veggie beds, a spot for a future playhouse, and a big outdoor dining table. For how the space is actually living now, day to day, see the How We Live Here Now backyard post and the full backyard archives are here. Here’s how it’s actually held up.

The Trees: B+
I really can’t get enough of a mature tree and a shady canopy, and I’m happy to see ours filling in. The vines have done their job too, completely covering the fences at this point. The goal was dappled light, green in every direction, and no sightlines into the neighbors. Check check check. (Note that the photos here are older, so the fence isn’t as covered as it is now. stay tuned for a backyard 2.0 reveal so soon) The Strawberry Tree is the second one we’ve planted and I’m so glad we doubled down on it. It’s delightfully pretty with sculptural branches, a red trunk, cute flowers, and evergreen. The only reason I gave the trees a B+ and not higher is that several of the “dwarf” fruit trees are very much not dwarf. While I’m happy to have a thirty-foot plum and twenty-foot apricot and peach trees, I never planned a layout around that size. The peach is the main culprit, casting a shadow that’s affecting the veggie beds. If anything grows in the beds, the crop yield is minimal and often full of powdery mildew. And since I love big trees, I can’t bring myself to cut any of the branches back, so they’re eating valuable real estate in a small(ish) yard. I can’t bear to lose the peaches, or the tree, so the veggie beds are what have to change. I’m eyeing new spots with more sun. Stay tuned.

The Veggie Beds: C
The beds themselves are lovely, custom-made to fit the space, holding up well to wear and tear. The peach tree above, which is stunting their production, is the only reason I gave them an unsatisfactory grade. Honestly, I’m hoping it’s a blessing in disguise: moving them to another location opens up a lot of space in one of the most trafficked parts of the yard.

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The Dining Table & Chairs: A+
The teak 8-seater dining table is heavy and sturdy and it’s withstood several years of daily use and weather. We use it as a dining table, but it’s also my potting station, our bubble refill station, our work surface for all things backyard. I went through a couple of disappointing sealers before finding my favorite teak sealer, nontoxic and effective, and easy to maintain with just a simple scrub, no power washer needed. The seal holds for several years; ideally you redo it once a season, but I’ve skipped a couple of years and it’s held up fine in our climate. I do plan to reseal it this year. The chairs are a favorite. They’re made of a soft rope so they’re comfy and clean up so well. Water drips right through and they dry out fast, and surprisingly the black hasn’t faded at all.

The Umbrella & Stand: A-
We hemmed and hawed about shade over the dining table. We initially planned a (very expensive) pergola, then tried a (cheap) shade sail, but didn’t like it. So, we went with a giant umbrella instead and it’s great. My experience with a traditional umbrella is that it’s almost useless unless you’re sitting directly beneath it at high noon. Any other time, the sun is at an angle leaving people to sit in the direct sun. The fix was going oversized. I found an extra-large umbrella (the size of three umbrellas all stuck together) with just one pole in the way and put it in a sturdy base that technically rolls but rarely needs to. It shades the entire dining table and all the seating at once, no matter the time of day. The one bummer: the base has to sit right up against the table (due to our table placement and our region’s latitudinal placement), which claims the spot of one seat.

The Trellis: A+ for the trellis, D for me
When the trellis is covered in sweet pea blooms, it gets an A++. But when I forget to plant them I give myself a D. The trellis still provides a dedicated play space and allows me to drape a blanket for shade over the water table, so I still give it an A even when foliage isn’t scaling the sides.

The Water Table: A-
The water table provides lots of entertainment for both Margot and Hattie, sometimes even at the same time! The only reason I gave it a minus is that it requires nearly daily emptying and rinsing and refilling to keep it fresh (no invitations for mosquitos here!). The water pump that recirculates the water table is also an A, and the manual pump for refilling water play is also an A.

The Birds and Butterflies: A++
10/10, no notes.

The Swing: B
We got this swing on this swing set when Margot was a baby, and while she’s grown out of it, Hattie fits right in. But, it’s pretty small and only provides so much thrill. I’d like to get a bigger swing set and a dedicated play structure to get some more wiggles out. I initially planned a play structure in the backyard design, but tabled it until we knew how the kids would play in the yard. I’m so glad we did because now that I’ve seen five years of Margot play, plus big kid neighbor play, I have a much sharper sense of what we need. More soon!

The Decomposed Granite: D-
I really don’t like it. Everyone warned me it sheds loose, gritty sand that tracks inside, and yes, that part is exactly as annoying as advertised. I tried rock glue once and it didn’t hold (I might try again someday). What’s actually worked is cheap outdoor rugs laid over the top. It solves the gritty texture, and walking on an outdoor rug beats any kind of ground cover (we’re often barefoot out here)! The rugs mean the ground stays permeable, which was the whole point of DG in the first place. San Diego doesn’t get much rain, so when it does come, I want it soaking into the soil instead of running off into the flawed storm water infrastructure. But that rare rain is also the DG’s biggest weakness. Ground that hasn’t seen moisture in months erodes fast. Our driveway strip sits on a slant, so the water runoff carves divots down toward the street, a nuisance to walk on and worse, a tripping hazard. We’ve talked about ripping it out for concrete, since that stretch does real daily work: loading kids into the car, rolling out trash cans, hauling things to and fro the garage, etc. The cost has been our main hang up, with quotes pushing $10k. Whereas my gardener said he could patch the DG for $500. Do we go with the cheap band-aid or the long-term investment?

The Rugs: A+
I didn’t expect to ever cover my yard in rugs, but they’re the best solution for the annoying DG and they make walking barefoot so pleasant. Even if we replaced the DG with concrete, like we’ve often considered, we’d never cover it 100% in an outdoor rug, so right now we’re winning with soft texture underfoot. We have two patterned rugs under the dining table. An IKEA outdoor rug is under the water table. We used to have jute, which would naturally degrade (a pro for natural, a con for having to replace it annually), but I’ve since switched to one that doesn’t dissolve underfoot. I have that one under the seating area, and its sister in runner format in the walkway. The more I describe the number of rugs in my backyard, the more I wonder if filling a yard with rugs is weird. But it works, and I stand by it.

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The Lawn: B
Fitting everything on our wishlist into a small footprint worked! But the lawn got the lowest priority. After establishing the veggie beds, trees, play space, sitting area, dining table, and garden beds around the perimeter, the lawn was relegated to whatever space was left over. It works just fine when Ross and Margot kick a little soccer ball around. But when a gaggle of neighborhood kids try using the lawn as a slip n slide or a real soccer match, it suddenly feels dinky. The swing set took up some of the lawn space too, so right now the lawn is more of a pass through than a destination. But maybe that isn’t a fault of its size, just of how the kids play now?

The Seating Corner: D
Boy was I optimistic that I’d just sit in a loveseat for hours and watch my kids play while I sipped lemonade. They’ve been used approximately never. I’ve spent waaaaaay more time cleaning them than sitting in them. I don’t sit down outside. Someone always needs a splinter removed, or a water table refilled, or a toy retrieved from a bush, or an outfit change. I’m also to blame, too. I always find some weeds or overgrowth to putter with when I’m out there. This underutilized corner of the yard is at the top of the list to revise. A Backyard 2.0 reveal is coming!

The Concrete Steps: A
During our redesign we were really worried about the gradual slope toward the house and how we’d mitigate water runoff and make getting in and out of the house seamless. The concrete steps were the solution. Shallow enough that they don’t take up the whole yard, but deep enough that the girls have ample room for coloring with chalk, or for us to chuck a box of recycling outside to take to the bin later. The part I didn’t anticipate was how the steps would naturally become a spot to sit. Instead of wandering over to the loveseats, parents sit on the steps during playdates. I never thought concrete steps would be this versatile.

Flowers: C
The plants that went in the spring of 2022 were all full sun, and with all the added shade (see the trees rating), the flowering perennials are no longer. The evergreen shrubs are all doing great, but the small flowering plants need replacing. I need to stop planting for full sun and start planting for partial (and in some spots, full) shade. The zinnias have made that abundantly clear, every single year. Why haven’t I learned my lesson yet?

The French Doors: A-
Still one of the best decisions of the whole overhaul, well, technically from the kitchen renovation, but the backyard was on my mind when we planned them. We get to look out the kitchen French doors and see only green (the dream!). The only downside is I wish I’d installed a screen. Every time we actually use them the way they’re meant to be used, thrown open so the yard and the house combine, I pay for it later chasing a fly back outside for fifteen or twenty minutes.

The Accessories: A
I’ve only just started dabbling in yard decor, and I can already see my future with a yard full of sculptures and ornaments. Consider this the beginning. The wind chime is advertised as the Stradivarius of wind chimes, which my audiophile husband approves of, and is delightfully pretty sounding. The wind spinner is fun and decorative. In my yard decor era, I envision more kitschy and artist-made sculptures down the road. Again, this is just the beginning. I have a habit of leaving up the birthday party decor all year long. There’s now rainbow bunting, pom-poms, or pinwheels, permanently. The retractable hose is an A+ and I never want to wrangle a hose ever again. The bubble machine is also an A. It stays plugged in 24/7 so I have the magical power of waving a little wand (the remote) to produce a full cloud of bubbles on command, extremely delightful during playdates. The market lights, on the other hand, cost us a full afternoon of aircraft cable and mounting, and we admittedly never use them. Bedtime comes early in this house so we don’t do much outdoors after dark these days. Lastly, Margot’s fairy gardens and hand-painted birdhouses: 10/10, no notes, obviously.

This is the year (nay, the month!) I tackle some of those underperforming elements. A backyard reveal 2.0 is coming!

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The plants have filled in. And I mean filled in! The jasmine is covering the back fence and sides of the garage, the plum tree is over 20 feet tall, and the strawberry tree is slowly growing into the shade canopy I was hoping for.

The goal when we overhauled the backyard was foliage. I wanted to look out at the backyard and see green. Cover the fences, hide the sightlines into the neighbors’ windows, create a little sanctuary with shady nooks. It does exactly that now. Leaves and plants and shade everywhere has me giddy.

The side effect of wanting so much shade is that my full-sun vegetables and flowers are struggling. Some of the dwarf trees we planted ended up not being dwarfs at all, so we have shade in unexpected places. The too-shady veggie beds are getting a new home this year, more on that in the Report Card (another new series!). I also need to identify some shade-loving perennials, since full sun was the plan and full sun is no longer what we have.

Backyard Archives

The trellis at the back was host to sweet peas for a couple of years, a tunnel of fragrant blooms from late winter through spring. The past two years I missed the planting window (I’ll blame pregnancy and plain old forgetfulness). The trellis is still useful, though. I drape a blanket over it to provide shade to the water table that lives underneath it. I appreciate the parenting tip that when things get hard with kids, just add water. Turn on the sprinklers, hand them a popsicle, run a bath, give them a drink. The water table has been our version of that this season. It requires emptying and refilling almost daily to keep it clean, which is its own thing. But now that Hattie has figured out the little pump that circulates the water back up, which she is very proud of, both girls will stay out there for roughly as long as it takes me to pull weeds or empty the dishwasher. I miss the sweet peas, though. I already have the planting to-do in my calendar for October.

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Margot has outgrown the baby swing, and while Hattie still fits, the little swing set has become a climbing structure for big kids in the neighborhood, and it isn’t ideal. It’s time to upgrade to a full swing set and dedicated climbing structure. I’ve definitely learned the lesson that not all play equipment is created equal, and kids with various personalities play differently, so my goal is to try to keep up with Margot and Hattie’s individual preferences as they grow. My initial vision for a cozy playhouse would surely be fun, but I’m glad we held off and waited to see how Margot actually plays.

We fit a lot into a small footprint back here: fruit trees, veggie beds, a dining area, the swing set, the trellis, a seating corner, a water table, room for a kiddie pool. I love how much we were able to fit, but it isn’t working as hard as it could for the space it takes up. Now that we have a few years of seeing how Margot and Hattie use the yard, I have the itch to shuffle the layout more to maximize play opportunity. I see a backyard 2.0 reveal in the near future.

Most of my time in the backyard is spent puttering. I have a hard time sitting still, so even while I’m keeping the girls company at the water table, I’m also pulling weeds or pruning. I love playing with them, but I also like for them to see me having a hobby and taking care of our home, and sometimes they’re genuinely helpful, too. One of Hattie’s hobbies is putting things in trash cans, so she’s quite good at helping me prune.

Margot and her friends like to harvest things from the garden. Which sounds helpful, but isn’t always. They like to pick the fruits and vegetables before they’re ripe, load them into little bags with flowers and leaves, and distribute them around the yard. My crop yield is lower than it could be. They have a great time, but I do wish we could enjoy those strawberries before they get plucked when they’re green and go into little baggies to rot. Margot has made a few fairy gardens back here, mostly at my insistence that she move the pie tin full of dirt and grubs from inside to outside.

I love that they get into the mud, they collect the fallen leaves, whatever they want. I hear birds and see pollinators all day, and I’m a sucker for the Merlin Bird ID app which is helping me learn to recognize birds by their calls. The other day I was actually swatting butterflies out of my face, and we joked that if this were in a movie it would feel over the top. But, in reality, it was just our summer guests enjoying the flowers, too.

We hosted the girls’ birthday parties back here for a while. I love slowly decorating, setting up a craft table, putting out lawn games, and having the cozy, personal comforts of home. But our yard isn’t huge, and the adult-to-kid ratio at a toddler party is a lot. This year Margot’s party moved to a park for more room, better shade, an actual playground. I got to sit and paint kids’ faces instead of worrying about the indoor hazards when a dozen kids run laps after eating cake. It was delightful connecting with her friends and turning them into tigers, dogs, etc. I hope the backyard party comes back when attendance numbers shift. I think as they get older their parties might become more intimate??

I’ll admit I haven’t had much of a green thumb this year. Even though I set a goal of basically becoming a cut flower farmer. My seed trays had really low germination rates, which has been incredibly disappointing. I’ve done a lot of troubleshooting and haven’t found the actual fix yet. My May and June trays were the best of the bunch though, so I just need to keep that momentum going for the rest of the season. I had visions of bringing bouquets to friends, but it hasn’t come to fruition. Maybe next year?

We still go to parks, a lot. A breezy grassy lawn with mature shade trees and a real playground is enjoyed by all of us. Something shifts when we leave the house entirely. I stop feeling the pull to be productive, there’s no plants to prune or dishes to do at the park. All of our moods improve when we get out of the house and romp around in an open green space. On an ideal day, I bring my knitting and enjoy sitting while the girls play. Though Hattie’s newfound love of running challenges that more often than not. The backyard is a resource I’m so glad we have, but a neighborhood park will always be a part of our lives.

The other day I got in the hammock for the first time in years. Hattie climbed in with me and we just lay there, her with a book and toys, the foliage moving overhead, watching birds and pollinators flutter by. I’m trying to remind myself to take more vacations to the hammock.

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Hi. It’s been a while. I’ve missed this.

I took a longer break than I planned. I’ve been busy fussing around with furniture layouts, knitting at my daughter’s gymnastics class, and attempting to garden with my kids. I’ve also been scheduling summer camps, refilling the watercolors multiple times a day, and trying to keep the toys tidied. Around the house, I’m adding color wherever it fits and making some changes to the overall function and feel.

The biggest change to our home is raising two kids here. Margot is nearly five(!) and spends most of her day outside, which means she comes home with lots of dirt under her nails and rocks in her pockets. She has established shy of a dozen fairy gardens in our yard. Hattie (rhymes with happy) is over a year old now and up for anything as long as Ross or I are carrying her. She’s velcroed to one of us at all times, even sleeping nestled in the crook of my arm all night.

Having kids has made me more sentimental, more sensitive, more convicted in my values, and more drawn to color and warmth and things that bring joy. My perspective on the house has shifted in the years since blogging more regularly.

This blog started as a restoration project. Every decision was in service of preserving a century-old house. The historic materials, sustainable choices, the years-long hunt for exactly the right thing consumed me. That chapter is (mostly) behind us now, having undergone the biggest renovations and restorations. Now, I’m focused on tweaking functionality and designing around the family that lives here. We now have two little roommates who benefit from furniture at their height, toys accessible in our shared spaces, room to get messy, and places for their mom to still be creative, even after doing dishes for (checks clock) 70 hours a day.

I need projects I can accomplish during nap time (or many, many nap times). And when I say “need” I mean it. This season of life is full and sometimes depleting in the way that parents of small children will understand. Making things, even small things, is how I stay myself. I want to show my girls that their mom can build, paint, restore, and create, so they grow up knowing they can too.

My creative outlets aren’t entirely solo pursuits, though. I garden with the girls (or I try to, at least). I photograph my kids when experimenting with film stocks. I knit clothes for them during Margot’s soccer practice. These are hobbies I’m folding into the life we already have, slowly. In a world that feels heavy and dark, I’m craving beauty and choosing to make it. The term “joy as resistance” has stuck with me.

I’ve also been doing less doom scrolling and more reading picture books with the girls. The illustrations full of colors and the layers upon layers of patterns (oh, the wallpaper!) are on my mind. My home is the backdrop to my kids’ lives and picture books have become my inspiration. I want to add more color, more pattern, more whimsy. For the girls, and for me.

How We Live Here Now is an upcoming room-by-room series looking at this house as it actually exists, day-to-day, in 2026. I’m revisiting each room, talking honestly about how we actually live in each space, grading my past decisions and reviewing how products have held up. I’m sharing what’s to come in each room, too. Whether that’s a project that takes 10 nap times to accomplish, or a little tweak here and there. On Substack, I’ll be sharing some bonus companion pieces that go a little deeper. I’m even considering a major change that I genuinely cannot bring myself to admit to the internet (yet!). Oh, and I’ll also share some of the spaces I’ve barely mentioned in the past. Have I ever told you I have a secret laundry?

The house is more lived-in than it’s ever been in the last decade. I’m more excited to document it now (with baby bottles on the counter and dirty shoes on the porch) than ever before.

I can’t promise a posting schedule. Did I mention the hours spent doing dishes? But I’m starting with the backyard, see you there soon(ish).

There’s a particular kind of childhood that happens when your best friend lives across the street.

No playdate scheduling. No 20-minute drive. Just two kids who wave to each other from across the street and three minutes later are playing in the yard together. Margot has that, and those spontaneous, run-over-unannounced afternoons are some of the best things I’ve witnessed as a parent.

My friend Martha has the same magic on her block. A whole cluster of families who started just as neighbors and then, gradually, became friends. Kids scooting between houses and parents standing in driveways chatting is a regular occurrence. They even started hosting weekly block parties so there was always a plan to hang out every few days.

So when Martha asked me to help design her garage conversion, we designed it for her neighbors. Not to get ROI on her house or to match a Pinterest board. But rather an invitation for friends to come play.

The garage had been doing a little bit of everything and none of it especially well: storage that sort of worked, cars that hadn’t been parked inside in years, and laundry that left no room for folding. Martha wanted it to do a lot more. She wanted a living room, home office, laundry room, play space, bike storage, gear storage and toy storage. Oh and a movie theater. My first reaction was “oh, so you want to add on?” But that wasn’t the goal. They wanted to use the existing footprint to fit what they wanted it to do. Somehow, it all fit.

This project was done in partnership with iCabinetry, who is offering a discount on your custom cabinets. The full reveal, floor plan, before and afters, every source, and the coupon code is at thegoldhive.com

Read the full garage conversion post here.

My kids are four and one. Margot has established shy of a dozen fairy gardens in the yard and comes home with rocks in her pockets every day. Hattie (rhymes with happy) is velcroed to me or Ross at all times and likes to organize her sister’s rock collection.

I spent years focusing on this house through the lens of restoration. I obsessed over historical appropriateness, correct materials, and finding just the right thing. That’s still in me, but we’re in a new phase now.

Some of this has come via coincidence. The leggy console sink in the hall bath was chosen for aesthetics and historic character, but it turns out to be perfect for tucking a toddler stool underneath it. The double dishwasher I picked because I liked the drawer ergonomics now conveniently runs the bottom drawer on sanitize for baby things, and the top for everything else.

And much of it is intentional. Toy storage has replaced the tchotchke decor on low shelves. Band-Aids live at Margot height near the front door, rather than a first aid kit in a cabinet. We host playdates rather than dinner parties, and the house reflects that.

The bigger project is making this house genuinely fun to live in. The dining room does more arts and crafts than dining. I’m choosing wallpaper that reminds me of the colorful homes in picture books, which becomes the backdrop to their childhood. I want to paint furniture and add playfulness to our home while showing my girls that their mom can build, paint, restore, and create, so they grow up knowing that they can too.

This is their house too, and it should feel like it. It has never looked or felt better than these past couple of years with Margot’s stamp on it. I’m looking forward to what comes next, with both of them.

The restoration era was about honoring what the house was. This era is about a house that’s fun to live in, for all four of us.

The Gold Hive started as a renovation blog in 2014 which means I’ve been documenting the slow restoration of this house for over a decade(!). If you’re new, welcome! The archive is at thegoldhive.com and the House Tour will get you up to speed.

I’m on Substack for a simpler reason: some people live here and not on blogs, and I’d rather meet them where they are. I plan to post mostly the same content like Weekly Roundups and project posts. But I like that Substack invites a little more short form writing. I think my sweet spot is somewhere in between a lengthy blog post and a brief Instagram caption. Substack feels just right.

This Substack is free, no paywall.

If you want to know what I’m about: I’m a chronic researcher and studio art graduate who has been slowly restoring a century-old house in San Diego for over a decade and is now raising two girls in it. I have strong opinions about wallpaper, cabinet hardware, and not recommending things I don’t actually use. I shoot on 35mm film. I’m a proud outfit repeater and go to bed early.

Every night I like to shut down the house like I’m a busy shop keeper closing up at the end of the shift. Not sure what my make-believe store is exactly, but certainly something like a haberdashery with bits and bobs and lots of drawers.

The closing shift happens alongside the rhythm of dinner, bath, toothbrushing, pajamas, and bedtime stories. It goes (roughly) like this:

Dim the lights around 5pm. Gradually dim more closer to 6pm. 2700 kelvin turned way down, or bust.

Take my knitting out of my tote bag, where it’s been all day waiting for a free moment that never came, and put it on my nightstand. I’ll work on it in the dark after the girls are asleep.

Fold the blankets back over the beds after spending the morning (or full day) of lüften.

Light the taper candle on the dining room table for dinner. Margot sets the coasters and waters. Ross preps food.

Maybe I get a half load of dishes in before dinner. Maybe.

Get dinner dishes rinsed and in the dishwasher, or empty all the dirty sink dishes onto the counter. I need to make room in the kitchen sink so Hattie can take her bath in a tub in the sink

Load the dishwasher while playing/singing/dancing with Hattie at arm’s length in the sink.

Ross runs a load of laundry before bath time so it’s ready for the dryer before we go to bed. He’s in charge of laundry in our house, I’m responsible for dishes.

Close most of the windows I opened this morning, in no particular order. (one window stays open for last)

Close the curtains and pull the blackout shades. Lock the doors. Ross will later set the alarm.

Ross refills Margot’s water cup and puts it on her bedside table. I put a few pacifiers on my nightstand for Hattie, so I can reach them in the dark without fully waking up if she stirs.

Feed Hattie her night time bottle in the corner of the couch by the remaining open window at the front porch . While I read her a book, I enjoy the sunset and the light breeze through the screen.

Blow out the candles, including the taper on the dining room table. Sometimes Margot does this task

Ross or I turn on Margot’s reading lamp and she picks out her books. She reads with Ross before bed.

Make sure both half-dishwashers are running so we wake up to a clean kitchen. Wipe the counters. Having a kitchen reset before bed is a non-negotiable. I don’t always get it done before the girls are asleep, but it’s done before I turn in.

I put Hattie down in my bed in the crook of my arm. I often get up to get some things done, but I’ve been known to fall asleep with her at 8pm.

The shop is closed.

I have a morning routine for the house. It goes (roughly) like this:

Open the primary bedroom window and pull back the sheets that baby Hattie and I just slept in, or “Lüften” as Germans call it.

Get coffee. This isn’t part of the house routine, but it’s a necessary part of my day. I start with iced coffee so I’m not disappointed when it inevitably cools to lukewarm.

Turn on the lights in the living, dining, and kitchen (dim! so dim)

Open the window by the front door and feed Hattie her bottle there cuddled on the couch.

Wait for the lamps to turn on with a timer which tells me we’re allowed to all be awake (even if Hattie told me to wake up an hour ago).

Open all of the bedroom doors when everyone is up, the flow from room to room is key to all of us moving around the house.

Turn on music across the Sonos speakers. Lately it’s been Your Smith radio

Collect my knitting from my bedside table where I was working on my project last night in the dark before bed. I move it into my tote bag so I can carry around an un-wearable half-knit sweater all day in hopes I get a free moment to knit a few rows (spoiler, I don’t).

Open the window in Margot’s room (more lüften) and pull back the curtain and French doors (her room reveal is coming soon!)

Empty the dishwashers (we have two half-size dishwashers in lieu of one normal-sized dishwasher).

Light a candle if we’re not jetting off to the playground before school.

Wipe the counters, run a half load dishwasher, and reset the kitchen after breakfast, and repeat again after second breakfast.

Pop a load of laundry in the wash. I feel productive when multiple machines are cleaning my stuff at the same time.

Fill the gravity water filter. More passive productivity!

Open the bathroom window and turn on the fan before taking a shower.

Take the stroller outside so it’s ready for one of many daily strolls.

Pack Margot’s school backpack and put it on the porch, then attempt to leave the front door open (screen closed) but promptly close the door as soon as Hattie tries to walk outside.

Once a week (or so), if the girls are occupied, I like to get out the leaf blower and clean the front porch, welcome mat, steps, and sidewalk. This plus a tidy of the shoes on the porch feels like I’m a shop owner getting ready for the day.

I’ll repeat all those steps (and then some) to put the house to sleep at night.

No costumed characters. No spectacle. Just families in a sunny field with kites, essentially gathering to celebrate wind. Natural, free, refreshing wind. A mom in our group called it the environmentalist’s version of the air show and she’s so right.

What I love about it is how wholesome it is. A perfect interruption to the news cycle. When kites got tangled, people genuinely meant it when they said “sorry” and “no problem!” Strangers rushed in to guide a fallen kite back up for a kid holding the string five yards away. There’s a kite first aid station where strangers re-tape and re-string broken kites for other strangers, no transaction required. Margot got to color her own kite and a teen volunteer helped her assemble it.

My natural habitat is in the shade under the canopy of a tree in a woodsy park. I don’t love a sunny beach crowd. But I’ll come back to this every year because I love to celebrate the wind by flying a drawing my daughter did in the sky, surrounded by hundreds of people being instinctively kind to each other.

Photos taken on 35mm Portra 400 film.

There’s a print hanging in my living room by Australian artist Amanda Jones. It’s hand-lettered in a collection of my favorite colors and shows the grain from the medium format film she used to capture it. It reads: ASAP As Slowly As Possible.

I bought it because it reminds me of how I operate, and it’s a permission slip to do so.

I’m a chronic researcher. I open a hundred tabs before I make a single decision, then I order samples, and more samples. I feel a rush to do the research ASAP. But then I leave the samples hung on my wall for so long that the tape loses adhesive and they fall off, with no decision made. I hang them back up and then I open all the tabs again six months later just to make sure nothing had changed. I reconsider. I start over, sometimes only to land right back where I started. I recently finished the last 1% of a project that I started (and concluded) five years ago. The last piece was painting the trim and it took a mere 23 minutes. I don’t know why I procrastinated on that for so long, but I do know why I have a dozen projects at various stages of not-quite-done. Moving slowly and overanalyzing things tends to mean I’m happier with where I land. I have a deep fear of regret, so taking my time gives me peace. I go ASAP, then as slowly as possible.

Also, I have two small children and they come first, so my slow, intermittent publishing schedule reflects that.

John Cage wrote ORGAN2/ASLSP (As Slowly As Possible) in 1987 with a single instruction: play it as slowly as possible. An organ foundation in Halberstadt, Germany took that literally. They started a performance in 2001 that is scheduled to end in 2640.

Welcome. I’m Ashley. I’m the particular kind of person who takes five years to finish a project and considers that time well spent, despite how frustrating it can be to go without a decision for so long. I lean into the joke of ASAP: As Slowly As Possible because I, too, want to go fast and slow. I write about all of it, slowly, at The Gold Hive, and now here too.

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