When is the last time you actually had a dream? Not like while you were sleeping, but like a vision, something that you actually wanted to work toward for yourself.

Are you kind of just doing what moms are “supposed to” do, doing your best to check the boxes to be a “good mom” or to raise “good” kids?

Or do you actually have an idea of what you want? Do you know what you want your life to look like? Do you know what actually brings you happiness and joy and removes the stress? The things that light you up? The things that actually aren’t that important to you but other people say should be important?

Today’s Homework for Creating a Vibrant Life

I want you to, especially if you haven’t done this any time recently, pause and dream. Even if it feels far-fetched, even if you’re like, “I don’t know how this would ever happen.”

Ask yourself these questions:

1. What would my life look like if it could look like absolutely anything?

2. If I could just wave magic wand today, what would I change?

3. What would be different from it is today?

Maybe it’s things like, “I would hire a house cleaner.”

Maybe you decide, “I would have somebody else cook my meals.”

Or, “I would have nap time at X time.”

“I would get up in the morning and I would do my exercises then.”

Whatever it looks like for you. Those things very much might not be for you either. But I want you to start looking at that list of dreams and what would just make you feel good. What areas of your life feel more challenging than you’d like, are draining, or are creating tension and resentment for you or your family?

I’m not necessarily talking about things that would make life easy, or just so you don’t have to do anything.

I’m talking about the things that would actually give you the space so you could live a vibrant life that you love. Adding the things that would really light you up, and getting rid of the things that don’t.

I want you to take some time.

Allow yourself to dream. It might feel scary or challenging because it’s unfamiliar; that’s okay.

Go ahead and dream and think about, “what do I actually want my life to look like? If I could have any kind of life I wanted, what would that really look like?”

This isn’t the version of a dream where you’re on vacation for your whole life, because most of us wouldn’t actually enjoy that.

Instead, think of it in a very realistic sense, in terms of what would feel sustainable, what would feel energizing, what would fill your cup, all those kinds of things. What does that look like?

I wish you some happy dreaming, and I’d love to hear any pieces of that dream that you’d like to share with me!

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

It might be something that encourages us, inspires us, or shows us something we need to work on. Essentially, I draw a card and use that as a reflection prompt to think about life and motherhood and all the things we’re juggling and experiencing.

Today I’m drawing from a tarot deck (don’t worry, I don’t approach it in a super woo-woo way), but in the future I hope to also use conversation starter cards and affirmation cards.

Today’s Card: The Wheel

Today I drew the Wheel card from the Lightseer’s Tarot deck (you can see the card here). I fully encourage you to look at the card and interpret it for yourself if you’d like! What are the things you notice? What speaks to you? Or what do you find really interesting? Notice where that leads you to reflect for yourself.

This card shows a woman standing on top of four of these wheel-type things. They’re kind of like a coin. They’re kind of like a compass. They’re sort of stacked. But they’re not like stacked all on top of each other. And then she’s standing up on top of this stack, sort of like a yoga tree pose, with her arms are out, almost as if she’s a bird soaring in the air. Her arms are back behind her, and she has one leg up with her foot resting on her knee, her thigh area. She’s wearing a white shirt. And she has two big red dice kind of like hanging from her neck. She definitely has a smile, with her mouth open a little bit.

The wind is kind of blowing her hair. And then from each of her hands, it’s like there’s these, swashes of color. One is white, and one is black, coming from her hands and kind of going out down around her.

There’s clouds behind these wheels that are bright white at the top and then they’re really dark black at the bottom. And behind her is an aqua seafoam colored background.

An Adventurous, Go-with-the Flow Spirit

So the first thing I really notice is these compass kind of things. To me it speaks about direction, maybe adventure and travel, discovering new things and places. Kind of just like an adventurous spirit.

The fact that these coin/compass things aren’t nicely stacked gives this feeling of instability, like a precarious situation, but in a fun, playful kind of way.

It doesn’t like look like she’s going to fall down right now. And to me, that’s a similar idea to the adventurous side and exploring new things, but with a playful attitude to it.

She seems very happy and alive, just embracing this situation. She’s in the moment and joyful. I feel like the dice are probably referring to luck or chance, or maybe even just going with the flow.

Whatever, you know, life rolls at you. Whatever the dice of life rolls.

And yeah, I feel like she’s just a free spirit.

Making Meaning of the Dark Areas

The black at the bottom feels a bit ominous, but she’s above that. So maybe she’s ridden above the storm, and now she’s playing in the clouds where it’s light.

I’m also not quite sure, like it feels like that black coming from one of her hands is... I feel like it’s supposed to mean something. So it’s like one interpretation it seems like could be like there’s the light side and the dark side.

Perhaps speaking to the two parts (the light and dark) always coexisting.

Another way to look at it is as if the light from the clouds is coming up into her and then she’s letting go of the dark things. Which I think is a really pretty picture of embracing the things that make us happy and joyful, and letting go of those things that don’t, the things weigh us down.

Maybe those dark things are expectations from other people. Maybe it’s grudges or resentment we’re carrying. Maybe it’s unfair expectations we’ve had for ourselves, that we’ve been carrying.

Letting Go of Control + Enjoying the Ride

But this card seems to be encouraging us to embrace and embody more of that light, carefree, adventurous spirit. And letting go of the things that are holding you back and keeping you from enjoying, loving, and living your vibrant life — that is, living with no regrets, embracing all those things that are important to you and your family.

So ya, I’m feeling like the reflection here is to embracing more of the lightness, the adventure, and the fun; and maybe stop trying to control circumstances, trying to control the outcomes, trying to force things to be the way that I want them to be; and instead hopping on and enjoying the ride, and finding the joy and fun in that.

Okay, so let’s go ahead and see what the book has to say about the card.

My Commentary on the Book’s Interpretation

If you’re interested in tarot, I’m using The Lightseer’s tarot deck. I really love it because of the beautiful imagery.

Also, by the way, you’re more than welcome to pause and look at the card yourself and think about what it means to you, what’s speaking to you, what feels like it applies to what you’re going through right now, and so on.

So The Wheel. This is what the book says (which you can also read here): “changes, fate, destiny, a lucky break, cycling up through karmic lessons, the chaos of creation.”

That’s really interesting because we just had, I think two weeks ago, we were talking about creativity, a turning point, and serendipity.

And then it says, “Get ready, sweet soul, for the wheel is about to gift you divine blessings. Synchronicity is afoot, so look for wonderful new opportunities to propel your life ahead. Be prepared for fortuitous meanings or a fork in the path that will change everything for the better. If you’re open to spotting opportunity, it’s yours for the taking. Just follow the breadcrumbs of serendipity and fate toward your happy ending.”

This is interesting to me because it’s like what I was saying about being willing to let go of my expectations for how I want things to go. And I feel like it’s really easy when we’re like so kind of stuck on that path of how we want things to be or how we think it should be. And then we get really frustrated because it’s not happening that way.

Maybe it’s challenging to see and identify those opportunities as they come up to realize like, “oh, hey, this is actually what I’m needing and what I’m looking for. This is actually better than what I had in mind!”

Now continuing with the card, “So remember that the wheel is always spinning and that things are never the same as they were before. Learn to enjoy this constant regeneration and know that with every spin, we have the chance to cycle upward toward our own expansion and enlightenment. Trying to control the outcome of the Wheel of Fortune would prove to be impossible, so don’t. Grab your lucky dice and see the spinning of the wheel for what it really is. All the beauty of a lifetime of experiences waiting to spring forth and be lived.”

I love that. Sometimes it’s easy to be like, “what if I do it wrong and I miss the opportunity? What if I miss out?” Where it’s a lack mindset where I feel like I have to take advantage of it now if I want it, or if I think I’m going to want it in the future.

And this is interesting because it’s like, “Opportunities are always spinning.” There’s always new things coming up, always something different. And rather than having that lack mindset, that fear of missing out, we can instead embrace the idea that “what’s meant for me, won’t pass me by. Opportunities will keep rising. I’m not going to miss out if I say no.”

I also love how it was said, “We have the chance to cycle upward toward our own expansion and enlightenment.” It can be really easy to feel like we’re stuck in a rut and as if nothing will ever change, nothing will ever get better. So we get disappointed and frustrated with the way things are going.

But to realize there’s always opportunities for personal growth, for healing, for learning, for more gratitude, for whatever it is for you; those things are always happening, those opportunities will keep coming. There will always be more opportunity to grow and expand; even to have our love expand, to have our passion expand, to have our capacity just for joy and laughter and all the things; those things can continue to expand.

Moving Forward with this Reflection

I hope something in this discussion resonated with you - whether it was me describing the card, you looking at the card, me talking about my interpretation and reflection, or the book itself.

Maybe there’s something in there that you want to think a little bit more about and reflect on how it applies to your life. Go ahead and keep journaling if you’d like in your notes app, on a piece of paper, whatever it looks like for you.

If there’s something that really stood out to you, let me know! I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments your lesson or takeaway, the thing that feels like, “ooh, that was for me!” or “Oh, that really applies. I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

So thanks for joining me and I’ll see you again next week. Bye-bye.

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one!

Get more from The Heartful Canvas in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Do you have some beliefs around what it means to be a “good mom,” or what it means to be “successful” as a parent, an employee, or a human? Do you have some beliefs around what you have to do in order to be worthy or to be enough?

Are you choosing what you believe or are you following everyone else?

How many of those beliefs have you adopted because that’s what you’ve been told over and over again?

How many of those beliefs do you have because somebody else told it to you? Someone on social media said it, and now you’ve adopted the belief that, in order to be a good mom, you have to do X, Y, and Z.

And now you believe that, in order to prove yourself as a “good enough mom,” you have to do all these things, manage all these things, and they don’t bring you any joy. You’re just doing it because it’s what you “have to do.”

Your homework for working toward a vibrant life

Now I’m going to throw a monkey wrench at you.

Rather than pushing forward and forcing yourself to abide by those beliefs (that you’ve adopted from other people and may actually be making your life harder than necessary), I want you to stop and reflect and recognize what your actual beliefs are.

When you strip away everything that everybody else has forced on you, society has taught you, or is based on the way you grew up, you can start to recognize what is actually for you. What actually brings calm, clarity, and alignment to your life rather than resentment, struggle, and challenge.

I think it’s important for us to pause and consider, “wait, what is it that I actually believe? Is that something that actually fits in my individual belief system? Is it in alignment with who I am and how I choose to do motherhood?”

I want you to really consider that.

“What are my beliefs? What are the beliefs I’ve adopted from other people that don’t actually fit, that don’t actually work for me?”

And I want you to give yourself the grace and the permission to change those beliefs, to let go of those beliefs, and to let yourself follow the path that actually is most meaningful for you.

The one that’s most love-filled and joy-filled for you.

So you really can live a vibrant life you love.

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

It might be something that encourages us, inspires us, or shows us something we need to work on. Essentially, I draw a card and use that as a reflection prompt to think about life and motherhood and all the things we’re juggling and experiencing.

Today I’m drawing from a tarot deck (don’t worry, I don’t approach it in a super woo-woo way), but sometimes it might be a conversation starter card or an affirmation card.

Today’s Card: Two of Swords

Today I drew the Two of Swords card from the Lightseer’s Tarot deck (you can see the card here). I fully encourage you to look at the card and interpret it for yourself if you’d like! What are the things you notice? What speaks to you? Or what do you find really interesting? Notice where that leads you to reflect for yourself.

This card shows a woman who has a blindfold on her eyes, and she’s got her arm up in the air, but it doesn’t necessarily look like she is trying to take the blindfold off. She has her other arm up too, so it looks like she’s in mid-action. She has a black dress on and a tattoo on her arm. And then there’s two crows, one on either side of her. It’s as if they have strings maybe attached to her hair, that they’re pulling on. And it looks like they’re like cawing at her.

I feel like it’s giving the impression that the crows are controlling her or trying to pull her around.

Cutting off the “have to” and “supposed to” strings

The first thing that comes to mind when I look at this card is that maybe this woman is feeling torn by all of the noise and ideas of people around her, things she’s “supposed to” be doing or “has to” be doing. And because of that, she’s become blind to the path she would like to take. Now she’s fighting to find that path and find her way.

It’s interesting because she doesn’t look upset or distraught. But these crows are noisily squawking at her, getting after her, or trying to get her to do what they want her to do.

As a result, she’s having to push forward in her own path, to take her own path and choose the way forward.

So to me it’s really about being mindful of where you might be feeling controlled or pressured by the expectations and wants of other people, whether that’s society at large, social media, or people in your life personally who are saying, “No, you can’t do this” or, “You have to do that.” (Which, goodness gracious, there’s a s**t-ton of that kind of messaging out there directed at moms!)

And it feels like this heavy weight on you, as if can’t do what you want. It feels like your heart’s heavy because you know you want something different. But you have to just keeping doing it this way, because it’s what you’re “supposed to” do, or because of X, Y, Z reason.

Maybe you even have a clear idea of what your vision is, what you want your life to look like, but you feel stuck.

Sometimes this even feels like, “I can’t have the life that I really want and will enjoy because I need to care for this person. I need to answer to this thing.”

Side Tangent: The importance of recognizing your agency

I think it’s really important to recognize our own agency. Maybe it’s important to be able to recognize, “Hey, I can take this blindfold off.” “Hey, I can shoo these crows away.” “Hey, I am choosing this as something that’s important to me.”

Maybe you have children that need a lot of care. Maybe you’re caring for parents or grandparents. Maybe you really need to have a job to take care of your family financially. Maybe you’re a single parent.

All of those are very valid things that can feel like a lot of pressure, and I don’t want to take away from that or minimize it. And at the same time, I know when we’re in really difficult situations like that, recognizing that we’re choosing to stay in that place can be important for the sake of our own happiness.

Usually, the option to leave or choose an alternate route sounds absolutely ridiculous and like it’s not even a possibility. But recognizing, “wait, that is a possibility, and there’s no way I would choose that” makes us realize we have the agency in that choice. And that we’re choosing these circumstances (even if it’s something we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves otherwise).

There’s so many times when it feels like we have to do it because of somebody else, or because of circumstances we can’t change, and that makes it feel even more challenging. Changing that narrative to, “I’m choosing to do this because I really, really love this person” can help the experience feel less negative.

Now, that’s not to get confused with, “I’m doing this because I love this person” and it’s actually a manipulative or abusive situation. I’m not saying that at all.

I’m saying this in terms of, “I need to care for this person,” or “I’m giving my child all this attention and care” because they need the extra care. You could technically outsource that to somebody else or give them less care, but because you really care, it’s really important to you, it’s a priority to you, and this is the thing you’re choosing.

I think that’s a really important exercise, no matter how big the situation feels. Maybe it’s not something where it feels so big, but there’s always little things in life where we might feel like we have to do it for our kids, our partner, our parents, or even our own health.

It can be so helpful to reframe it to, “I choose to do this for my kids.” “I choose to do this for my partner.” “I choose to do this for my family.” “I choose to do this for myself, because that’s the most important thing to me.”

So that’s the side tangent.

How to wade your way through the muck to the life you want to live

So back to the tarot card, the picture in my head is that this woman is stuck in the mud, trying to wade her way through it.

A big part of making our way out of that is #1: getting clarity on what we want to change, what we want different, what we’re actually moving towards, and what that path actually looks like. Then, #2: taking that action and moving in the direction of that path.

So to me that’s what this card is speaking to: knowing your path, recognizing it’s the path you’re choosing (as a conscious decision), and moving forward on that path.

That might look like fighting the crows away. Learning to have boundaries with yourself. Creating boundaries with others who demand things of you that are unnecessary, don’t align with your values, or you just don’t have time for.

And all of this is so you can find the peace and joy of a life you really want to live.

Taking the time to dream about the future

If you don’t have an idea of the path you want to move toward, I encourage you to take make the time to do that.

If you’re not used to dreaming and planning and goal setting and all of that, it can feel really challenging.

But sitting and picturing yourself maybe a year from now, five years from now, whatever feels attainable for you, can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes I feel like it’s easier to picture yourself 20 years down the line. And sometimes it’s easier to be like, okay, two years down the line, because it’s challenging to imagine that far into the future. Alternatively, you might find it easier to think far into the future, because a different life feels more possible then.

And while you’re at it, also take the time to think about in the present.

• What would help me feel lighter?

• What would help me feel less heavy?

• What would ease this ache in my heart or this knot in my stomach?

• What would help me just loosen up and feel more at ease?

Being mindful of those things can help open up what you would like to change, what you would like to see different, how you would like to be living your life instead.

These can be big things, but these can also be little things.

It might be things like:

• What helps you start the day in a way that feels refreshing?

• What really kind of just starts the mood for you in the day?

• What kind of mood do you want to have?

• What is your personality? What makes you happy? What lights you up? And how can you embrace that in the beginning of the day?

The answers to these questions can help you understand what the life you really want to live looks like.

Okay, so let’s go ahead and see what the book has to say about the card.

The Tarot Book’s Interpretation

If you’re interested in tarot, I’m using The Lightseer’s tarot deck. I really love it because I like the imagery.

So Two of Swords. This is what the book says (which you can also read here): “stalemate, a crossroads, making a difficult choice, opposing ideas or options, choosing the best route of action, and memory and thought.”

And then it says, “You know that feeling of not knowing? It’s time to make a choice. And it may seem like you are between a rock and a hard place. If you can’t decide which way to go, it’s because you can’t see the bigger picture. Yet, the two of swords is whispering that you must move in one direction. Close your eyes and listen to your internal guidance system for your map. If your intuition has fallen unusually silent, it’s asking you to trust yourself and your ability to discern and decide. Even in blindness, you already know the best way forward. When you act, the future will reveal itself and it will hope to move you towards your dreams. Have faith that the universe is serving you the right experience. At the crossroads of duality, your analysis and overthinking will just get you buried in the quicksand of a million possible endings. So find peace of mind by trusting your judgment.”

The affirmation is, “When blinded by the unknown, I can trust myself to move toward the light.”

It’s Time to Just Make a Decision

So I feel like the book was actually pretty aligned with my reflection. There’s this idea of just making a decision and moving forward with it. This is really talking about leaning into your intuition, which I also fully agree with. But sometimes it’s challenging to access that.

We’re so used to being taught how to think through things logically, how to respond logically, how to process and analyze, to think through the pros and cons of everything, and then follow through on that.

So, this is giving permission that, if you’re stuck in that process, and you can’t make a decision, you can just choose one. Choose one or the other.

If it’s the wrong one, you’ll start to feel that. You’ll start to feel the resistance in yourself. You’ll start to hate it. It just won’t go as smoothly. You won’t love it as much.

And then you can change your mind. It’s okay to change your mind.

Learning to Listen to Your Intuition

But also, it’s a great time to practice leaning into your intuition. That’s something I’m very passionate about. As women, I feel like we need to learn better, practice more, listening to our intuition.

We have so much power that we have easy access to. We have so many answers within us, especially for ourselves and our families, that we’re used to giving the control to other people. We’re used to people telling us how we’re supposed to do things.

And that’s not to negate the power of outside information. I fully believe in that as well.

But I believe that really listening to our intuition, leaning into that, and following that is extremely powerful, especially when it comes to vibrant living and understanding your unique sense of balance. Because that’s exactly what vibrant living is about.

Knowing, “what are the pieces that are actually important to me to balance in my life?” And then “what are the right proportions of those pieces so I really enjoy it, so one piece isn’t too overwhelming or crowding out the other parts,” and really finding the blend that works best for you.

So ya, going back to the card, it’s like analysis and overthinking will just make you worried. Instead, trust your judgment and move forward with that.

Moving Forward with this Reflection

I hope something in this discussion resonated with you. I’m really curious if there’s something - maybe in your own personal lif, with your family, with yourself - that really resonates for you. And I wonder if this really helps you kind of come to that decision point and move forward.

If you want to go ahead and keep journaling about this, pull out your notes app, a piece of paper, whatever works best for you. And think about this a little bit longer.

Maybe you’re able to make that decision right now. Maybe it’s something you need to sit with for a few more days this week.

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

Get more from The Heartful Canvas in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Maybe you feel like you have to clean up the kitchen before you leave the house, or you have to make sure your kids’ clothes are matching, because that’s what you’ve been taught.

Whatever the “thing” is for you, I want you to pause and consider if that’s something that’s actually important to you.

Are you stuck trying to parent “the right way?”

Is it something that actually matters to you, or is that something that you’re doing because it’s somebody else’s expectation? Because somebody else told you this is the right way to do it.

Are you doing things just because it’s supposed to be “the right way?” Because it feels like a “have to” or “need to” in order to be socially accepted or whatever?

I want you to reconsider those things.

I want you to stop performing based on everyone else. And I want you to start paying attention to what’s actually important to me.

The A root of burnout, exhaustion, and resentment

In my experience, some of the most exhausting parts are parenting are the things we do because we feel like we have to … but it doesn’t actually hold any weight or importance to us.

We end up doing it to check off the box because it’s what our mom or grandma taught us, or because that’s what the mom at soccer club does.

But holding ourselves to that standard just leads to burnout, exhaustion, and resentment.

Identifying what’s actually important to you

So I want you to ask yourself, “What is it that makes me feel good?”

Maybe the kitchen being a mess actually isn’t that big of a deal to you. For another mom it might leave her feeling scattered and stressed out. That’s ok. She can do her thing, and you can do yours. Neither way is right or wrong; neither way is better or worse, so long as it works and feels good for each of you.

Maybe you can let it go, and it will reduce some stress and tension in your body and your home.

Or maybe you realize, “it doesn’t actually matter to me if my kid matches. I care more about them being able to pick out their clothes, love their clothes, and be happy and excited about it.”

Maybe you realize the only reason you ever cared was because you were worried about what other moms thought about it.

Stop performing based on someone else’s expectations

So whatever it is, whatever it looks like for you: stop performing based on somebody else’s expectations.

Stop worrying about what’s important to somebody else.

Pay attention to what’s important to you, what actually matters to you, and perform based on that.

That is how we build a vibrant life.

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

I’m so excited you’re joining me today for an Intentional Reflection Discussion.

I don’t know what to call it exactly yet. This is Tarot Tuesday, except in the future, I want to incorporate other kinds of cards, you know, conversation starters, affirmation cards, that kind of stuff.

Also, I know that the term “tarot” can turn people away and make it feel super woo-woo. And that’s not my intention. My intention is really to look at it as a creative prompt.

So anyway, I’m going to draw a card and then we’re just going to talk about how it relates to mom life, right?

The purpose of Intentional Reflection Discussions

The idea is that hopefully it will give you maybe a little bit something to think about and reflect on for yourself. Perhaps it relates to the way you’re navigating life, the world, parenting, kids, or anything else happening around you. So let’s see what we have here today.

Today’s Card: the Ace of Wands

So this is Ace of Wands. I fully encourage you to look at the card and interpret it for yourself if you’d like! What are the things you notice? What are the things that speak to you? Or you find really interesting. And see where that leads you to reflect for yourself.

It looks like it’s a woman up close. We can see from the bottom of her lip up to her hair, and it’s just her face and her hair that are in frame. Her eyes are closed. Her hair is pink and blue.

And then there’s like these lights as if it’s like part of her hair or in front of her hair. I think they’re lights. Kind of like twinkle lights, but not exactly. And then there’s a large sort of flame. It could kind of look like a light bulb hanging down. It also kind of looks like a flame like right in the center of her forehead close to her hairline.

A Mix of Calm, Confident, Logical, and Creative

To me, she looks calm. She looks grounded. She looks confident.

But then it’s like there’s this sort of like light or passion or magic to her. It feels like the light on her forehead is alluding to using logic. But it also feels like there’s a creative element to it, like she has some knowing in her orc. creative inspiration in her. It’s kind of like her light or her passion, her fuel that she’s holding on her head.

That then makes me think of it like her crown, like the thing she carries proudly around. So to me, that’s speaking a bit of being confident in my creativity, my skills, and my talents; and carrying those proudly -- not being ashamed or feeling like it’s not good enough or presentable enough.

To me, it just speaks to having a light or passion and allowing it to come forward so it’s present and prominent. It’s right in the middle of her forehead. When you look at her, that is what you see. She’s not trying to shrink away or hide that or minimize it.

Giving meaningful space to your passions and interests, even as a mom

I think this all ties in very well with motherhood, because you have your own talents, your own passions, your own interests.

But maybe it feels like what you’re “supposed to” be doing right now is being a mom, or you’re “supposed to” be a caretaker, or you’re “supposed to” be providing for your family with your job.

It’s like it’s not stable enough or productive enough to have hobbies, interests, or passions.

But I think it’s really important that you embrace those things, that you allow those hobbies, interests, and passions to be part of you… even as a mom.

I full-heartedly believe a huge part of vibrant living is embracing those parts of yourself that maybe society doesn’t appreciate or value as much. To allow those things not only to exist, but to hold them up front, to not be ashamed of them, to not deprioritize them, but to actually allow them to hold meaningful space in your life.

Every person is going to be different in terms of how much space they want or need to have of that thing in their life. Some people maybe need to have a lot of time for their hobbies and their passions and their interests, where other people it’s just not as important to them.

The thing about vibrant living is being attuned to what you really need, what you really want, what you really love… and follow that.

So anyway, those are my thoughts from the card. It’s just like kind of wearing those things you love as a crown and remembering who you are, remembering the pieces that make you who you are beyond your title as Mom.

Being a mom can be totally consuming

Yes, part of who you are, and part of your crown is being a mom for sure. I don’t want to minimize that at all. But at the same time, you are more than that, right? A big thing many women struggle with as moms is that it is so easy to get caught up in that role and “lose” themselves.

Being a mom can be totally consuming, and that’s totally fine if that’s what you enjoy and love. But if you’re feeling a little empty, a little lonely, a little bit depleted, this card speaks to those things you have to prioritize so you don’t feel that way anymore.

Okay, so let’s go ahead and see what the book has to say about the card.

The Tarot Book’s Interpretation

If you’re interested in tarot, I’m using The Lightseer’s tarot deck. Mainly, I like it because the imagery is really pretty, IMO.

So Ace of Wands. This is what the book says (which you can also read here): “new ideas, the seed of potential, the arrival of inspiration, illumination, intense creativity, the mirror-like nature of consciousness, the interconnectedness of all things, and the ability to manifest anything.”

I like that: the ability to manifest anything.

To me, just reading that first part, it speaks to me, again, of embracing that creativity, but even more than that, being willing to jump into it.

Maybe that’s this week, this month, whatever that looks like for you, but to stop putting it off until another time. Now is the time to go ahead and embrace those new ideas, let the ideas flow, let that inspiration flow, and act on it if that feels best.

But sometimes maybe we just have to let it out. We just have to let the creativity be; to acknowledge it and write down the ideas, write down the poetry, whatever it is for you.

And then the book says, “This ace contains all the sparks for all the ideas and they are generating intensely powerful light for you right now. She is connecting you with the one cosmic mind, a universe consciousness, and her delightfully magic soup that is brimming with colossal creativity. A flame burns here that is meant for you, but it hasn’t been put to use yet. What will you create with this boundless potential?

“Stay open to receive inspiration and insight. You may be shown new information about your divine purpose or soul path, or you may even feel compelled to put something completely new into the world. If it feels good, it probably is good. And even though this ace can only predict the inception of something new, it also suggests that all of the energy to bring this project, idea, or feeling to a successful completion is available to you.”

The affirmation with it is, “I see my brilliant future with the roots of creativity and inspiration.”

Now is the time to bring your ideas to life. Let them flow. Introduce them to the world.

So I think this is really just like kind of giving permission. Like, if you’ve been waiting, it’s like you’ve had these ideas, these things you wanted to do -- maybe you’ve really wanted to start writing again, or pottery, or explore a new hobby, or you have this idea of what you want to put out into the world -- this is the nudge that’s like,
”Yes, go do it! Like, what are you waiting for?”

This inspiration is here for you right now. Embrace this. Allow it to be. Give it the space it needs. Stop waiting for when it’s going to be convenient and easy, because that won’t happen unless you make time for it.

So, as somebody who loves creativity, I love this card.

What if I’m not a creative person?

If maybe this doesn’t feel like it resonates with you as much, if you feel like you’re not a creative person, I fully-heartedly believe everybody is creative in their own way. It’s maybe just a matter of thinking about your creativity different.

Maybe you’re like, “I don’t love creating art. I don’t love creating music. I don’t love creating things.” So what is it for you that you really enjoy?

I think there’s creativity in enjoying nature, reading. All sorts of different things that you can enjoy.

Maybe think of it more as like hobbies and inspiration and passions and things like that; just embracing those things and following through with them.

Now it’s time to take action.

So if there’s something you’re thinking of in your mind (or several things that come to mind) right now, where you’re like, “okay, I really feel like this is the thing that this card is speaking to for me, that this prompt is really making me think of,” please share it here in the comments!

I would love to hear about it and cheer you on in following through with that idea, whether that means following through with the idea itself or through the whole creation process.

So maybe for you it’s, “okay, I really need to brain dump a whole bunch of ideas around this concept.” Or maybe it’s like, “okay, I have this idea that I really want to follow through with and bring this creative thing into the world.”

Whatever it looks like for you, share it with me.

I am so excited for you to embrace this light, this passion, this creativity, whatever it is for you; and to encourage you in that path.

Alright. You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

Get more from The Heartful Canvas in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

You know how, when you hop on social media and you see all these different things that you’re supposed to be doing as a mom: you need to engage your kids, do this thing, teach them that, redirect behavior using this method, all the things… plus all the opinions from the people around you in real life, the books you read, and the things society has taught you in general?

I want you to take a second, set all of that aside, put all of that to the side, set it down, and just listen to yourself.

What is it that you actually care about?

What is it that’s important to you?

What are your priorities?

What are your dreams?

What are your hopes?

What actually works for you and your life and your kids?

I know we are so used to listening to everybody else, but I believe so much of vibrant living is tied to, or starts with, listening to ourselves. And trusting that and following that.

Filtering through external advice and feedback

Yes, it absolutely can be helpful to get advice and feedback, tips and tricks, all the things, but remember to always channel that through yourself, through what you actually know to be true for yourself, before you decide to implement.

Stop trying to force everybody else’s expectations and ideas and how they do things into your life. Remember that your life is yours and it’s different than anyone else’s/ Your life has different parameters, different things that are going to make you happy, different things will actually work with your needs and your style and your family.

So this is just a reminder to take some time (just a minute right now works) to set aside all the other things, and see what your body is actually telling you. Listen to what your heart is actually telling you, and listen to that. Trust it and follow it.

You’ve got this. I love you. And I’ll see you on the next one.

This is an (important) note about how things are going to be changing around here. It’s raw, transparent, and vulnerable, so if you don’t like that kind of thing, well… you’re already probably not in the right place 🫠 😅

So here’s the thing.

I’ve been posting a lot on Substack. In my opinion, a ridiculous amount. And quite frankly, it’s hugely (using this word purely because it makes me lol) unsustainable. I knew that from the beginning. It wasn’t meant to be sustainable; it was meant to be fast.

The back story

If you ever meet me in person and we have a conversation of any length (and I feel remotely comfortable talking), you’ll notice that I likely have ADHD and I can’t help but jump around between 23 different side tangents and supporting stories. Especially if it’s something I’m passionate, excited, or feeling conflicted about. Don’t worry, the tangents are all connected… in my head. 😂

Anywhos, we’re going to follow one of those side tangents right now. And then probably another. And another. And another. Just think of it like a fun little quest, and all will be well.

I’ve been my own boss, an entrepreneur, for 8 years now. In that time I’ve started three brands, did some cool stuff, failed at a bunch of stuff, was super stubborn, learned about myself, and have been through a lot of exhaustion and burnout. But it all feels largely “unsuccessful” for me. And each passing year that gets harder and harder for me to deal with.

Feeling happy in all areas except this

Turning 30 this year was extremely challenging, purely because of this. I mapped out my life for the past 30 years and discovered I’m very happy and proud of my life and the things I’ve done personally… except in this work/business category. It’s just such a huge sticking point where I feel a lot of shame and frustration.

So, in April I hired a business coach to help me scale this brand (The Heartful Canvas) to a consistent income faster. But I didn’t have the money to pay for her services. I’d calculated that, using Klarna to split the cost into monthly payments, I would be fine until mid-June. At that point I’d be needing to bring in $1000/month consistently to pay for my bills, including her coaching. She reassured me that that would be no problem at all, so I made the commitment.

Getting caught up in lack mindset + a focus on money

As June 15 neared and I started getting anxious, she kept reassuring me that we had plenty of time, and it was all good, so I tried to rest in the fact that she knew what she was doing.

Then one thing got pushed back, and another, and I finally decided to just go ahead and launch my membership (while my coach was traveling in Europe for a couple weeks) at the end of June/beginning of July because I was desperate to have some money coming in.

Crickets.

I had zero people sign up for the Founding Member’s launch.

Yep, a big fat zero.

I felt defeated, deflated, humiliated, and completely dependent on my coach to figure this out.

Getting serious on Substack

My coach’s advice was to fully commit to Substack - with several articles per week, multiple notes per day, and sharing about my Substack on Instagram and Threads.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. Fully committed. It started out fine. I utilized Claude (*more on this in a bit) to help with some of the Notes and Articles.

I got things scheduled in advance.

But I was struggling to keep my head above water with interacting with comments, getting everything shared on Instagram (I’m like two weeks behind on this now 😭), trying to read other people’s Notes and Articles and act as a contributing member of Substack, and all the things.

Burning out, less than 2 weeks in

And most importantly to me: I was (am) already burnt out, exhausted, hating it more and more with each moment, and sick and tired of it.

I felt like I had to spend every waking moment thinking about content, creating content, or interacting with content. I felt guilty for trying to make food during naptime on a Saturday afternoon, and I felt guilty for taking an hour to talk to my husband on a Friday night, because I was supposed to be working.

I was supposed to be proving that I’m dedicated, and I’m going to achieve the thing no matter what it takes.

The problem is: I’ve been an entrepreneur long enough that I’m not willing for that anymore.

I know what’s important to me.

I know what I want my business/life balance to look like.

I know what burnout feels like.

And I did the numbers.

Even at the current, exhausting, overproducing pace, it would take months to reach the subscriber goal we were aiming for.

I was two weeks into this plan, miserable 24/7, and already burning out.

There’s no way I would do this for months to come.

Obviously, not stressing about the business finances is important to me. But at the same time, there are a lot of things more important to me than the finances.

Outlining my priorities

So now we come to what my “more important than the business money” priorities are. And then this will lead directly into how things will be changing on this Substack account (channel? what do we even call it here?) moving forward. (See, I told you we were going on a quest, but we’d make it back and all would be well 😅)

1. First and foremost, my priority in this season of life is motherhood. Being present with my kiddo (not stuck in the comments on social media), playing with Play-doh, doing arts and crafts, practicing Español (and English) and numbers and all the things, dancing and playing music, going to playdates, enjoying swimming in (our friend’s) pool, … you get the idea.

2. Secondly, play and creativity. A big reason I created The Heartful Canvas (and the reason for the “Canvas” part of the name), is because I wanted to have a fun, playful space for creativity. It’s something that’s a key part of my brand, both in my messaging for other moms, and for myself. And believe it or not, I don’t find cranking out content at a ridiculous pace fun, playful, or conducive to creativity.

3. Last but not lease, authenticity and creating from the heart. There’s a reason it’s call The Heartful Canvas. I’m a sensitive empath, with a big heart, who cares a lot. (Maybe too much sometimes…) And when the focus is on numbers and money, when the plan requires utilizing AI just to get “enough” content out there, that heart gets lost. Or maybe, I know that it’s not my creation, and that just doesn’t feel great.

So now with all that said, we make it to the “point” of this post.

What to expect moving forward

More play and creativity.

• I want to incorporate artsy stuff and happiness and playfulness in my Articles, maybe even my Notes. I also kind of want to push the boundaries of what Articles are “supposed to” look like - to create an entirely different kind of experience.

More authenticity and from-the-heart work.

• I want to create my content from a space of heart and love and purpose, not checking off the boxes a to-do list.

• This will likely mean there’s less content, but hopefully it resonates more with you.

Testing different ideas and formats.

• Even though I enjoy writing, I don’t always love writing long-form content. I’m not on a mission (for now) to write a book. And honestly, as a toddler mom with limited time, there are other ways of creating that I enjoy more. So, I’ll probably keep playing with different formats. The podcast videos, live videos, creative formats, who knows what all!

• If there’s a particular format you especially enjoy, please be sure to voice that! I’m still getting a feel for how Substack operates and what Substackers like. I’ve read Articles stating Live videos are taking off, but I personally haven’t seen any of that. My coach said all kinds of formats are welcome here, but then I read that super-long Article posts and a million Notes are the only thing that really work, so we will see how it all goes. 😄

An ask, if you have the capacity

With all that said, I have a selfish ask as I move forward.

Positive feedback is super helpful for me. It encourages me to keep going. It helps me to know what’s landing (and what’s not). It reassures me that I’m not shouting into the void (or perhaps worse yet, a sea of robots). And it acts as a signal of what is actually making a difference.

Because the whole mission of all this isn’t actually the money; it’s helping you - a busy mom - live a vibrant life you love. And if my work isn’t fulfilling that mission, then it’s all a bit pointless.

So what would really help me out, especially as I’m trying out new things with play and creativity and different formats, is to leave a comment when a Note or an Article resonates with you, or makes you smile, or inspires you. It doesn’t need to be anything big or revolutionary - a simple “I feel seen” or “This made me happy” means more to me than you’ll ever know. 💛

Thanks for being here for this chaotic journey. I appreciate you.

A way to financially support my work

And circling back to the financial side of things, if you enjoy my work and you would like to support it financially, here’s how:

Buy Me a Ko-Fi

Shop on Etsy

Join the Membership

I’m going to be honest with you: this podcast episode wasn’t planned. I recorded it standing in my kitchen cutting up peaches for a crisp with my laptop at 3% battery, and I just needed to talk something out loud. It was partly for myself, and partly because it felt better to share it with someone than to just sit with it alone.

My Big Cry in the Car

Yesterday I had a big cry in the car, trying to think my way through a feeling that had been sitting on me for a while. There’s been one thing in particular I’ve felt almost desperate to achieve lately, not because it’s actually that important, but because I wanted to be able to say I’d done it. To prove something to myself.

So I sat with the question: why does this feel so important to me? And the root of it, once I actually got there, was simple. I just wanted to feel proud of myself. Proud of what I’m building and all the work I’ve quietly put into the things I do.

Borrowed Definitions of Success

But I realized the pride I was chasing was tangled up in a definition of success that isn’t even mine. It came from the world around me; the financial-success version, the mompreneur-making-six-figures version, the patriarchy version, the version we scroll past online constantly, with its big numbers and bigger goals.

I’ve been hard on myself for years over not hitting that mark, even though it’s never really been one of my own priorities. I’m privileged enough to be financially taken care of. That’s not the thing my family needs from me. And yet I let a borrowed measuring stick tell me I wasn’t doing enough.

I think a lot of us do this. We tie our worth to things that were never actually ours to begin with. We’ve picked them up from family, from society, from the workplace, from the internet, everywhere around us. And we’ve traded that for our own priorities, without even realizing it.

A Reminder, For You… and For Me

So here’s what I want to say, both to you and to myself: you are worthy. You are important. You are valuable. The work you do is incredible. Even the mundane parts, even the parts that go unnoticed, even if it doesn’t come with a paycheck with lots of zeros attached to it.

Your worth was never tied to your productivity. Or to how much money you make, or how many things got crossed off a list.

None of it.

I know it’s one thing to hear that, and another thing to actually believe it.

But you are worthy and enough as you are. Period.

I want you to be proud of the life you’re building. Genuinely proud, not measured-against-someone-else’s-scoreboard proud. I want you living joyfully, without regret, without letting the chase for money or status quietly steal the things you actually want more of: fun, creativity, play, presence.

I want you to live vibrantly.

Sending you so much love and light. 💛

This week’s card (from the Light Seer’s Tarot by Chris-Anne) is The Magician.

What I First Noticed in the Card

When you look at The Magician card, you see a soft yellow-orange background with a bright light glowing behind the figure. They’re seated, feet together, almost yoga-like, wearing a hoodie without sleeves, an infinity symbol at the top of the hood, a bit of hair falling loose. One hand touches the ground - where there are green circles surrounding them - and the other hand is raised, energy visibly flowing from the hand into swirling color at a slightly lower elevation (as if it’s a pond of water), and then back up to the other hand touching the ground.

It reads almost like the earth’s energy is being drawn up and transferred into the water below. Which to me, felt less like a magic trick and more like taking what’s already here, what’s already available to us, and shaping it into something good.

My Interpretation of What “Magic” Actually Means Here

I have a bit of a complicated relationship with the word “magic,” and maybe you do too. But the way this card frames it feels different: it’s not about conjuring something from nothing. It’s the idea that we already carry magic inside us, through our ideas, art, compassion, empathy, the ability to write something or draw something, even our ability teach a mini human (our kids) how to do something new. Things we can’t fully explain, that add beauty and awe into the world.

It’s easy to think of those things as ordinary because we do them every day. But if we step back for a second, we remember that we’re a bunch of humans on a big rock, and we can turn a blank page into a drawing, or clay into a shape that didn’t exist an hour ago. That’s genuinely pretty impressive. Reframing it that way can feel a little uncomfortable at first, but I think it also opens up more gratitude, more wonder in the everyday.

There was something else about this imagery that stood out to me: the light doesn’t originate from the person; it flows through them. Whatever you believe that source to be — a higher power, mother nature, something else entirely — the idea is that we’re not manufacturing love or kindness from scratch. We’re the medium it moves through, on its way to someone else. And I think that’s kind of beautiful

Interpreting with the Guidebook

Turning to the guidebook, it ties The Magician to skill, natural talent, manifestation, creativity, and resourcefulness. It describes this as a card of creation and potential; a reminder that you already have what you need, and that consciously focusing your energy, willpower, and actions is how you shape the material world around you. It asks, “What do you want to bring to life, and what’s one thing you can do today to move it a step closer to real?”

What Resonated Most with Me

One thing that stood out most to me was the word intentional. This isn’t about throwing love or creativity out into the world spontaneously and hoping something makes an impact. It’s about being deliberate: doing the things, sharing the art, taking the actions that actually carry meaning, so they reach and help the people they’re meant to reach.

That feels very similar to the whole point behind The Heartful Canvas: building a life that’s present, full, and loving without regret; taking care of ourselves and our people; filling our own cup, and then sharing from that space. That’s not a passive, random process. It’s not “I hope this works out.” It’s choosing, on purpose, what you want to carve into your own life and then actually doing the thing today that moves you toward it. 💛

An Invitation for You

If any of this resonated with you, and you’d like to dig a little deeper, here’s a prompt to help you get started: “Where is the magic already in me, or already around me, that I’ve been suppressing?”

Maybe you’ve been hiding it because of fear. Maybe you stopped believing it was really there. If you found it again, what would it look like to bring it back to life? What’s the one small thing you could do today to share it with the world?

Thanks so much for joining me for another Tarot Tuesday.

As always, I’ll see you again next week! 🤍

Thank you for tuning in!

Get more from The Heartful Canvas in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

1. The one-basket reset. Instead of tidying every room individually, one basket collects anything out of place, and it gets sorted later… sometimes much later. This isn’t organized. It’s contained. And that’s enough.

2. The “good enough” meal rotation. A short list of easy, repeatable meals that require zero decision-making in the moment. Not exciting. But definitely sustainable.

3. The ten-minute buffer. Build an extra ten minutes into transitions (i.e., before leaving the house, before starting a task) so the inevitable toddler delay doesn’t send you into a stressful spiral. It’s a small cushion, but it changes everything about how you feel about the situation.

4. The visible, simple tracker. Just one or two things you’re actually trying to keep track of, posted somewhere you’ll see it, without extra steps to maintain it. The moment a tracker requires more effort than the thing it’s tracking, it stops working. Keep it small enough to actually last. (Looking for a tracker? I have a few in my Etsy shop.)

These simple systems might feel small and insignificant. Or it might feel frustrating. But they’re built for a household with a toddler in it, and sometimes that can make all the difference in how we perceive (and react to) the day.

Start with just one of these this week, and let it actually become part of your rhythm before you add anything else.

Your grit is incredible, but you also need to take time to enjoy what you’ve accomplished.

I just want to remind you to give yourself some grace, some love, some care. I love how passionate you are, how much you care, how hard you work for yourself and your kids and your family.

But I want you to just take a moment to take a deep breath, relax, appreciate everything you've already built.

Enjoy it. Enjoy everything you're giving to yourself and to your kids because of your hard work, because of your persistence, because of your grit. And take a moment to pamper yourself, to sit in gratitude, to just sit and be. Whatever it is that you need right now.

I want you to realize that yes, there are times when it's so important and valuable to push ourselves and to strive for more and greater. Those things that bring you fulfillment.

And at the same time, be sure to rest and take care of yourself and celebrate and be filled with gratitude.

Creating a balanced + fulfilled life you love

These are all components that help build this vibrant life you love.

Yes, if you're like me, it's important to keep striving and to keep growing and to keep challenging and pushing yourself. And also, it's not healthy to always be in that space.

It's equally important to have these moments of grace and gratitude and rest. Time and space where you can rejuvenate so you're not only putting pressure on yourself, okay?

You're doing such a great job.

You are absolutely incredible.

The things that you achieve every single day are amazing, even if it feels so small and insignificant.

The effort and the energy that you put into everything you do is admirable.

I just want you to stop and take a moment, take care of yourself, treat yourself, whatever that looks like for you.

Alright, love you.

See you on the next one.

You can expect: something for Mama, something for Toddlers, a mom hack, and some mom inspiration. And always feel free to let me know if there’s anything else you’d like for me to add!

For Mama: Printable Affirmations for Self-Empowerment

from The Heartful Canvas on Etsy

I Need This!

For Toddlers: Printable Coloring Pages Sweets & Snacks Themed

from The Heartful Canvas on Etsy

My Toddler Would Love This!

Mom Hack:

If you’re like me, you’ve been packing and repacking snacks into the diaper bag at least once a day this summer. But one day I was preparing for a bigger outing and packed a small lunch bag, stuffing it with lots of snack options.

Long story short, that’s my new hack.

Pack a lunch bag with LOTS of snack options — it’s out of sight for the toddler when he’s searching the snack section of the diaper bag, and it’s lasting nearly a week without needing repacked again!

Mom Inspiration:

I found this super cute cooking toy idea on Pinterest!

You’ve got this! Congrats on surviving the week! 🥰

Take as many as you need. 💛

Permission Slips

Permission to not have a plan for dinner yet.

Permission to let today be a screen-time day without a running list of justifications.

Permission to skip the activity, the outing, the thing on the calendar that sounded good three days ago and sounds exhausting now.

Permission to change your mind about something you were sure of yesterday.

Permission to not know the answer, and to say so.

Permission to rest before you’ve “earned it” by some invisible standard.

Permission to want something for yourself that has nothing to do with anyone else in your household.

Permission to let the day be good enough instead of great, and to call that a win instead of a compromise.

None of these permissions require anyone else’s approval.

That’s the part I think we forget. You’ve been waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay, when the truth is, you were always allowed.

The permission was never actually withheld; you just hadn’t given it to yourself yet.

So consider this your reminder, whatever today needed you to hear: it’s okay. Whatever version of today you’re having, it’s okay. Trust that. Let it be enough.

And next time, don’t be so afraid to give yourself the permission. 🥰

What can we actually do about all of this isolated-without-a-village topic? How do we build the village that we need?

I don’t have any perfect answers, but I can share what I’ve been doing.

Building a Mom Village From Scratch

Ironically, something that I did to build my In-Real-Life mom village was that I joined an app (I use Peanut; not sponsored 😊) to find mom friends. I first joined the app when I was pregnant.

We had recently left our church and really didn’t have any family, friends, or community around us. In a lot of ways, it was the perfect time to really be rebuilding all the parts of me. To be rethinking, and building my life, my ecosystem, my social support system with intentionality.

I connected with a lot of moms, but honestly, my pregnancy was pretty rough and it was very challenging for me to meet up in-person with other moms and moms-to-be.

Then, with postpartum and caring for newborns, a lot of us drifted apart. We were dealing with ourselves, our new life, the busy-ness of caring for a growing infant. It’s a phase that has a lot in it.

As my child approached 2 years old, I finally started to feel like I had the bandwidth and space for friends. So I join the app again, and now I’ve created a group (on GroupMe) with those friends so we can have play dates, picnics and cookouts, and build a village together.

The Friends I Didn’t Plan For

In addition, one of my best friends I met in person at our small, local library. We were at a kids activity and sat next to each other. The big advantage to connecting this way is that it’s really easy for us to get together because we have similar schedules and we live pretty close together.

That is one disadvantage of meaning people on the app; I have found it challenging to find people who I genuinely connect with and who actually live within a 15 minute drive of me.

And then I have two friends that aren’t super close friends, but they’re good play date friends, and we met through a local moms’ Facebook group. But the main thing with the mom Facebook groups for me was that I just felt like I wasn’t really building a village.

It was great for getting my kid out and socializing and letting him have fun and play, but I was finding connections for myself. And because I was getting out to socialize a lot but my cup wasn’t being filled, I was starting to feel really empty and unsupported in those spaces.

Creating Your Own Mom Village

So for me, this is still a work in progress and experiment in process, but I feel really happy with where I’m at in terms of building my mom village right now.

Maybe there’s something from this that you want to test for yourself, or maybe it helps you think a little little bit outside the box, beyond maybe your neighborhood or the people and communities that you’re used to talking to.

Maybe it inspires you to get out to some more kids activities, whether they are at the library, free events around the area, paid summer camps; whatever it is for you and your kid, or joining an app like Peanut. Maybe you even choose to host your own group like me.

You get the idea… the options are endless! It’s really just a matter of finding something that works for you so you can find the aligned people that can be a support system for you.

Even though we do live in a very individualized, separated societal structure these days, we don’t have to be living alone. We can live in community, we can build our own villages, and there are people around to support you, who understand you, and are excited to be your friend.

So I’m sending out all the positive vibes and good luck so you are able to start finding, recognizing, and building your mom village and your support system with intentionality. 💛

A sustainable life isn’t one that occasionally gives you a break. It’s one that doesn’t require constant escape in the first place. It’s a much bigger shift than “take more time off,” and it takes time and intentionality.

If this sounds familiar, here are a few things to consider: where are you operating at a pace that only works because you’re gritting your teeth through it? Where have you said yes to something out of obligation instead of alignment? Where is your day structured in a way that leaves zero margin, so that any small disruption (think: a sick kid, a bad night’s sleep, a grumpy mood) sends the whole thing spiraling into chaos?

Sustainability isn’t about “just doing less.” It’s about building enough space into your systems that the normal, unpredictable stuff doesn’t make everything come crashing down. That might mean simplifying your rhythm. It might mean letting go of a commitment that looked good on paper but actually stresses out everyone in the house. It might mean changing your expectations for what “has to” get accomplished. Or, it might mean building in thirty unscheduled minutes in your day, on purpose, and being diligent to protect them.

You shouldn’t need a vacation to feel like yourself again. But if you do, that’s not a personal failing. It’s just useful information to direct you to what needs to change.

This week’s card was one I’ve never pulled before, and it really stopped me in my tracks: The Devil.

What I First Noticed

When you look at the card, you see a shirtless man, visible from the torso up. A tattoo on his chest; something sort of star-shaped, sort of like a triangle design. On his arm, a tattoo of ram skull and a chain. His long black hair flows around him in every direction, eyes a striking blue-green, little sparkles of yellow light scattered through his hair. One hand is tucked behind him, and the other reaches out toward you… except there are strings tied to two of his fingers, and those strings lead down to a second figure. Someone in a hoodie, head down, hands over their face, crouched low; so it’s like the Devil is manipulating a person like a puppet.

I’ll be honest: I sat with this one uncomfortably. The deck is gorgeous, but this image unsettled me. My gut reaction was tension. Is this challenging what we think the devil is supposed to look like? He doesn’t read as evil in the obvious sense. His outstretched hand looks almost friendly, inviting. And that’s exactly what made it feel unsafe, because if it’s the devil offering you his hand, you don’t want to take it.

The puppet figure bothered me the most. It brought up thoughts of people being controlled, manipulated, harmed, things happening in the world right now. I felt genuinely conflicted recording this episode, because there was no neat bow on it.

What the Card “Actually” Means

Opening the guidebook, the themes it describes for The Devil card are: vices, the grip of addiction, a need for liberation, healthy versus unhealthy patterns, materialism, the healing found in darkness, diving into your shadow self, being trapped in your own stories, manipulation, self-deception, and temptation.

That reframed things a little for me. Maybe this isn’t about some external evil; maybe it’s about the ways we deceive ourselves. We want something to be true so badly that we convince ourselves it is. We paint ourselves in a better light than reality actually holds. And it’s uncomfortable to look at, because it’s easier to focus on our better sides than to sit with the parts of us that are a little messier, a little more out of balance.

The guidebook put it this way: The Devil offers release from the mundane, wrapped in promises of pleasure and ease, and sometimes that release is genuinely healthy and needed. But he hides the part where those same things can become the thing you’re addicted to. Not just the obvious ones like substances, but the quieter ones too, like codependency, needing to be needed, basing your worth on how others make you feel. The affirmation paired with the card says, “In the darkness, I am free to heal.”

Where This Met Me

I don’t usually read the “shadow” meaning of the cards (because it often feels like it’s a more negative light), but it felt relevant here, and I was curious to read what it said (since the “light” meaning didn’t feel all so positive, haha!). The shadow translation spoke to themes of liberation, of being on the edge of a breakthrough, of realizing you’ve been giving your power away without noticing. That resonated for me as the expectations we absorb from the world around us. The things we do because we saw another mom doing them online, because it’s “just what you’re supposed to do.” Those expectations can become their own kind of puppet strings if we’re not paying attention.

It made me think about the smaller, everyday version of this too; not some dramatic addiction, just the quiet habit of reaching for my phone the second there’s a lull. For example, I’ve noticed that when I’m sitting at my kid’s music class, a little bored during an instrument switch, I’m checking messages on my phone that are anything but high priority. I don’t need to be checking my phone; it’s just there, and it’s an unhelpful habit.

Using This as a Journaling Prompt

If anything from this discussion resonates with you, here’s what I’d sit with: “What are the things in my life that are creeping out of balance right now?” It’s not necessarily anything dramatic, just something that’s started pulling more of your time, energy, or attention than feels good. It doesn’t have to look scary to be worth noticing. Sometimes it’s the quiet habits that quietly tug the hardest.

The point isn’t to shame yourself for having them. It’s to get curious about what’s keeping you from the fuller, more present version of your life; the one where you feel abundant, grounded, showing up as yourself, with real boundaries and real balance.

Go ahead: pull out your notebook or your notes app, and just sit with it for a bit. See where your own thought journey takes you.

An Invitation for You

I’d really love to hear how you read this card, whether it stirred something similar in you or took you somewhere completely different. Drop a comment and let me know your take. And if you’re a tarot person yourself, I’m also curious what The Devil card brings up for you!

Thanks so much for joining me this week.

I’ll see you again next Tuesday. 🤍

Thank you for tuning in!

Get more from The Heartful Canvas in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app