On August 16, 2026, Senator Jon Ossoff stood at a rally and told the world what everyone had already been whispering about: Donald Trump doesn’t want to do his job, he’d rather build his ballroom and “travel with Natalie.” That statement clearly struck a nerve because the White House responded by calling a sitting senator a “cringeworthy, feminine theatre kid.”

Four days before Ossoff said the quiet part out loud, Natalie Harp had been named in a federal lawsuit alongside the man she shadows. On August 12, The Intercept and the Freedom of the Press Foundation sued Trump, Harp, and Dan Scavino over Truth Social’s new $100,000-a-month early-access feed for Trump’s “market-moving” posts. The complaint describes her as “the primary White House staffer helping President Trump post.” Dan Scavino, the deputy chief of staff whose entire life seems centered around being Trump’s social media guy, is a co-defendant - but the complaint says the primary poster is Natalie.

The woman famous for claiming Trump saved her life from a terminal cancer diagnosis, is now being sued in her official capacity over the paywall on his words - words she physically types. So who is she and where did she come from?

The public record seems to tell a different story than the one she told on every stage Trump handed her, and it starts long before the cancer.

The family business came first

Let’s start with the basics, which actually took a little work to pin down. All week, coverage bounced between aging her at 35 or 36 - and it’s a weird day when no one can narrow down the birth year of a federal official. Public records end the debate though - her Palm Beach County voter registration lists her as 35, public records databases supply August 1991, and her archived Twitter bio lists August 8. Natalie Joy Harp is 35, date of birth: August 8, 1991. She was raised in California, and according to her brother, was homeschooled by her mom on Christian textbooks - in a family where the faith ran through everything.

Her dad held a theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and a doctorate from Gordon-Conwell. He worked as an executive and adjunct professor at the evangelical Biola University, was named a Catalyst in the Lausanne Movement - a global evangelization network founded by Billy Graham - and is mentioned by name in Tom Nelson’s book, The Economics of Neighborly Love regarding his “faith-at-work” programming at a Southern California megachurch.

As for Natalie, she graduated from Point Loma Nazarene University in 2012 - a school whose alumni later publicly rejected her by the hundreds - then picked up an MBA at Liberty University in 2015. Liberty’s own alumni article calls her “a Californian,” which is probably because it doesn’t look like she physically attended the Virginia university for her master’s program - instead it appears she got that MBA while simultaneously working her day job in California, working for the family company.

That family company is where the tributes seem to have gotten her history wrong. Natalie’s grandfather, Don Stephenson, was a hotel-industry big-wig decades before Natalie hit headlines. 1987 press reports describe him as a former Sheraton executive vice president and board member, and a former general counsel at Del E. Webb Corp. He eventually founded his own company, Global Hospitality, in San Diego in 1986 - the state filing is dated April 3 of that year, and the federal trademarks followed in 1990. A year and a half in, the firm was hired to manage the La Costa resort after its roughly $250 million sale to Japanese buyers. He was so good at taking over struggling hotels that John Maxwell made him the opening subject of his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Stephenson was known as the executive who fired the boss of every hotel he took over, every time. And yeah, that does sound familiar.

That family and that business are what Natalie’s dad married into. Robert Harp married Stephenson’s daughter Jill in 1983, and in 1998 the family firm launched GlobalHotelNetwork.com as its web arm - a keeping up with the times move. A 2001 press release names Robert as president of the parent company, “established in 1986.” When Robert died in 2020, the tributes remembered him as the founder of an internationally known brand. However, the corporate registries say the brand belonged to his father-in-law’s company all along.

Natalie spent her twenties inside that company - she’s listed in California corporate records as an officer - the corporate secretary of Global Hospitality Resources - while her LinkedIn, according to the Washington Post, described her as a self-employed entrepreneur. But, even Natalie’s name was company property. Historical WHOIS records show natalieharp.com - a domain that seemingly existed only to redirect visitors to her LinkedIn - was registered to Global Hospitality Resources, Inc. under her dad’s company email address. The website was part of a family set that included robertharp.com as well as prestonharp.com - Preston being the name of Natalie’s brother. The family allowed Robert and Preston’s domains to lapse in 2018. Across the entire portfolio, the renewal payments stopped in waves from 2018 through mid-2020. More than a dozen registrations that a web-first company had spent two decades collecting, all quietly slipped away while its website still advertised fifty sponsored hospitality conferences a year. Just two domains survived: The flagship, and Natalie’s - hers was renewed through 2026, with the contact switched to her mom’s personal iCloud email, eight weeks after her dad’s death. The entire record for her site moved behind a paid privacy proxy in June 2023, just as she was emerging as Trump’s shadow.

Knowing that, I did a little digging to see if there were any ties between the Trump and Stephenson/Harp families - and the search didn't exactly come up empty. The Wayback Machine saved GlobalHotelNetwork.com's board member page from October 20, 2016, three weeks before the 2016 election. You can click the link yourself, and if you do, you’ll see that right between the CEOs of Omni and Shangri-La - sits Eric Danziger, CEO of the Trump Hotel Collection. And his position wasn't a fluke. He's still listed on the July 31, 2018 snapshot of the board page. That’s nine weeks after Trump signed the law Natalie’s story would soon be built on.

Unfortunately, after July 2018 the page stops archiving, so I can't tell you how long he stayed or when he left. I also can’t tell you whether or not the family connections went any further than company + board member. What I can tell you - is that her family's company had Trump's hotel CEO on its board for at least two years before she debuted on TV as a total stranger whose life, a Trump-signed law, reportedly saved.

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The miracle has a timeline problem

Natalie’s story, as she wrote it in a June 12, 2019 LinkedIn op-ed (that has since been deleted, but not from the archive), goes as follows: On November 9, 2015, “a year to the day Donald Trump would win the presidency” - a nurse mixed up her IV with sterile water and left her housebound. Doctors offered “opioids, barbiturates, medical marijuana, disability, Do-Not-Resuscitate orders” and “Death With Dignity,” instead of a diagnosis. Eventually there was cancer - bone cancer, as every later telling would specify - along with the failure of what she described as the only two chemotherapies available for it, and rejection from every clinical trial until Trump signed the Right to Try Act on May 30, 2018. Because of that law, she was able to find an oncologist willing to prescribe “an FDA-approved immunotherapy drug for an unapproved use.”

Her own quote is a factual problem. The Right to Try Act, per the FDA’s own explanation, only covers investigational drugs that are not approved for any use. An approved drug prescribed for an unapproved use is known as off-label prescribing, and has been legal for decades. It requires no special law and no Trump. The treatment she describes in her op-ed is categorically outside of the law she credits for it.

Then there’s the issue of other published versions of her story conflicting. Her op-ed says she was a politically indifferent Californian until she got sick. Fox News introduced her two days later, publishing that she’d battled stage 2 bone cancer for “most of her life.” A July 2019 write-up sourced to that Fox piece says she endured four years of denied treatment before a 2018 law. If true, that would date her diagnosis back to 2014, a year prior to what her own op-ed stated, and directly conflicting with the “most of her life” assertion. Both of those versions ran simultaneously, on platforms she was actively participating with. Is it possible it was a large-scale issue of bad reporting from Fox News? Crazier things have happened. Nevertheless, as far as I can find, Natalie corrected neither discrepancy. In seven years of telling her story at the White House, at the Faith & Freedom Coalition, and at the Republican National Convention, I’ve never seen her name a hospital, nurse, oncologist, drug, or any specific trial that turned her down. Every verifiable detail appears to be missing.

Then there’s the timeline of her treatment vs the Right to Try Act itself. The Washington Post reported that on March 27, 2018, Natalie tweeted, “Just so you know, President Trump is setting records in speeding up the drug approval process. The chemo I’m on now wasn’t approved 5 years ago.” The problem with that, is that March 2018 was two months before that law even existed. Whatever she was taking and for whatever reason she was taking it, she was already on it while the Right to Try Act was still sitting in the House.

The other issue with her tweet is that, as far as I’ve been able to find, there is no drug for it to describe. The Osteosarcoma Institute, a foundation run by the disease’s own specialists, states there have been “no new treatment options approved for osteosarcoma in nearly 40 years,” and the research literature says the drugs for Ewing sarcoma have been largely unchanged for decades - those are the two bone cancers that overwhelmingly strike people her age. Bone cancer has rarer forms, and if a new chemotherapy was approved for any of them in her five-year window, neither I nor the specialist literature has been able to find it. Is it possible that a new bone cancer chemotherapy drug was approved and for some reason, it’s seemingly impossible to find anything published on it? Sure. I guess. Is it also possible that “chemo” was her word for the off-label immunotherapy treatment she mentioned in her op-ed? Maybe. If that’s the case though, the timeline works but the story still doesn’t, because that would be an approved drug, prescribed off-label, two months before Trump signed the law she says made it possible.

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What the research actually says

I’m not an oncologist and neither is Natalie, so everything oncology-related below is based on publications from the medical community.

Natalie’s story requires a nurse’s IV error to sit at the beginning of a bone cancer saga. The American Cancer Society’s list of bone cancer risk factors runs through inherited syndromes, Paget disease, and prior radiation or chemotherapy, and then states there are no other known lifestyle or environmental causes. IV mix-ups involving sterile water are a real and documented category of hospital error, and they cause genuine acute harm. What no medical literature connects them to - is causing cancer - and none of her tellings has ever explained what one had to do with the other. They just sit next to each other, unexpanded on.

Her story also needs a disease that matches her op-ed's description - one with exactly two available chemotherapies, both of which she says failed. Per the ACS treatment pages, bone cancers are treated with combination regimens - meaning two or more drugs at once, with names like MAP and MAPIE stacking methotrexate, doxorubicin, cisplatin, ifosfamide, and etoposide. As far as I’ve been able to find, there is no bone cancer with treatment options limited to two lone chemotherapies.

Additionally, her story needs clinical trials that rejected a young twenty-something rare-cancer patient because, as she put it at the Republican National Convention, she'd “make them look bad.” The ACS's actual advice for bone cancer patients, on its treatment page, is to seek out clinical trials, precisely because these cancers are in fact rare and rare diseases are exactly what trials recruit hardest for.

And then, there’s the end of life treatment comments. Natalie has consistently described her cancer as stage 2. Stage 2 is an early stage noted in medical literature as still confined to the bone and treated with curative intent. But Natalie has described her stage 2 cancer as being coupled with counseling toward do-not-resuscitate orders and the voluntary decision to stop eating and drinking. I spoke to someone in palliative care, and asked if this was anything they’d ever seen in their experience working in end of life care, and they very colorfully and very bluntly told me that stage 2 cancer is treated. Period. Every time. I’ve also put these specific claims out to oncology professionals and if/when I get a response, I will publish their answers. That is honestly only in the name of being thorough though. Because the record really doesn't need them to see the shape of the problem here.

We should also take a second to notice what surrounds Natalie’s story - and that appears to be nothing. A hospital error catastrophic enough to nearly end a life, usually generates some kind of paperwork - be it a complaint, a lawsuit, a settlement, or even just a local news story or patient-safety report. In the nearly eleven years since Natalie says the incident happened, I can’t locate even one of those items. As far as I can find, she has never mentioned pursuing anyone legally, and I can find no trace of the incident being mentioned anywhere before it debuted as a political origin story in June 2019. There’s no GoFundMe, no insurance fight - no documentation of the financial wreckage that American cancer tends to leave behind, by a woman whose entire lore surrounds her posts on the internet. Her mom, the person closest to every version of these events, doesn’t appear to have addressed any of it on the record either.

Liberty’s alumni magazine dropped one of the weirdest details in any reporting on her experience - stating Natalie was denied trials “as one of the youngest patients” with her rare bone cancer. This is a disease category whose clinical trials are famously built around young patients. In November of 2015, Natalie would’ve been 24 years old. The average age of a patient receiving an osteosarcoma cancer diagnosis, is 15.

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Her claims vs the documentation.

Since none of these variations appear to have been reconciled, here they are, side by side. For science.

• The politics. Op-ed: she’d “never cared much for politics” and didn’t register to vote at 18. Documented: she joined Twitter in September 2016 per her own bio, weeks before the election, while the family firm’s board held Trump’s hotel CEO. Her first searchable voter registration I could find is dated March 24, 2022 in Palm Beach County, one month before Trump’s PAC put her on payroll. (We’re getting to that)

• When it started. Op-ed: November 9, 2015. Fox: “most of her life.” The Fox-sourced write-up: four years of denial before 2018, meaning 2014.

• The drug. Her words: “an FDA-approved immunotherapy drug for an unapproved use.” The law: unapproved investigational drugs only.

• The timing. Her tweet, per the Washington Post: receiving the new treatment by March 27, 2018. The law: signed May 30, 2018.

• The wheelchair years. Her accounts: housebound, wheelchair-bound, in pain “for years” after late 2015. The documentation: corporate secretary of the family company, director of marketing and operations. According to the Washington Post, her LinkedIn described her as a self-employed entrepreneur. Is it possible those are all the throwaway careers of a struggling woman? Yes. (There is one source that appears to pulled from her now deleted LinkedIn account that states Natalie volunteered a guest lecturer at her old college during this period, but I couldn’t verify it through any secondary source so I cannot comfortably include it as a fact. I only include this because the reporting does exist and I don’t want anyone to think I saw it and ignored it.)

• The law’s reach. Trump, at an October 2019 Louisiana rally: “I tell you, it’s a miracle - so many people have been saved.” The count, per the ethicist tracking it in a Washington Post report: fewer than ten people had used it by 2020.

• Bonus round. In a July 2019 interview she credited the law with getting people organs. The statute covers investigational drugs. There is nothing about organs in it, because that would be insane.

Fourteen days to the fame

Regardless of the inconsistencies and lack of verifiable details, Natalie’s story worked, and it worked fast. She published the op-ed on June 12, 2019 as a relatively unknown blogger. Two days later she was telling the story on Fox & Friends, with Trump calling into the show mid-segment, on his birthday. Twelve days after that she was on stage with him at the Faith & Freedom Coalition conference in Washington. It was a 14-day shot from being a random twenty-something posting on LinkedIn to speaking on a presidential stage.

Her family appears to have clocked that momentum, because on July 13, 2019, one month after her Fox debut, her dad's registrar account registered nataliejharp.com - a second domain matching her brand-new public social media handle. That domain expired on July 13, 2020, four days before he passed, and sat up-for-grabs for six years until a stranger scooped it up earlier this week, mid-news-cycle.

Every retelling after that…appears to have come with a promotion.

Trump’s campaign gave her a seat on its 2020 advisory board, which she wore in her Twitter bio like a badge of honor. Liberty jumped on the bandwagon too - the Falkirk Center, the conservative Christian think tank Jerry Falwell Jr. co-founded with Charlie Kirk at her alma mater, made her an ambassador. She still has an author page on the center’s website today.

Then came the summer of 2020. And in all genuine seriousness - it was a rough one. Her dad died at home on July 17, 2020, at 61. Her brother Preston recently told interviewers that his death was ruled a suicide by the Orange County coroner, and that Natalie and their mom wanted to tell the rest of the family that Robert had died in his sleep. Relatives told reporters there was no funeral, only a private cremation - for accuracy’s sake, his parents’ funeral home in Indiana lists a celebration of life held in Evansville three weeks later - Biola held an online memorial.

What happened next is documented in a way things rarely are.

Following her dad’s death, posts started appearing on Robert Harp’s LinkedIn account, always starting with “This is Natalie Harp,” - tagging her LinkedIn account - thanking individual mourners in reposts. She also posted her mom’s tribute from her dad’s profile.

Her own tribute tweet that weekend, posted under a display name that still read “Natalie Harp - Text TRUMP to 88022,” told him “I never thought you’d leave this country for the next before me.”

Per the Daily Beast’s interview with Preston Harp, the way she’d treated their father in life was “like she wished she had a different dad.”

Five weeks after his death Natalie was on stage at the Republican National Convention, telling Trump in her speech “. In the classic Jimmy Stewart film, It's A Wonderful Life, George Bailey is given a great gift, the chance to see what the world would be like without him. Tonight, Mr. President, we'd like to give you that same gift, because without you, we'd all be living in Pottersville, sold out to a crooked mister, or I should say a crooked Mrs. Potter with no hope of escape except death itself.” In regard to her treatment, she added “without you, I'd have died waiting for them to be approved.”

By the following spring Natalie had her own show on One America News - the only people still willing to employ Matt Gaetz. And when she left OAN in March 2022, the network proudly announced on air, exactly where she was heading - to work for Trump directly.

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The payroll, to the penny

The FEC records show exactly how much Natalie’s new gig paid. Save America put her on the payroll on April 28, 2022 at $4,658.22 twice a month. When the 2024 campaign launched, a second paycheck started - $4,375 semi-monthly from the campaign stacked on a reduced PAC salary, with raises in mid-2024 that brought the combined rate to roughly $155,000 a year.

There were $2,500 year-end bonuses in 2022 and 2023, and roughly $40,000 in reimbursements, the largest of which is a topic of discussion of its own. In March 2024 Save America cut her a single $22,593.99 check labeled “travel reimbursement,” but the filing’s own itemization shows it was mostly not travel - it repaid sixteen months of Amazon and Staples orders, FedEx shipments, an Apple phone, and a long tab of Ubers she’d been paying for out of pocket. A second reimbursement covered subscriptions for the Epoch Times, Rolling Stone, and American Spectator that she’d been paying for with her personal card. The aide who fed Trump his positively curated printed news was personally fronting the paper and the subscriptions it was printed from. Trump is a billionaire.

On December 17, 2024, six weeks after the election, there was a $10,000 payment from the campaign committee, which by the time the FEC displayed it, had renamed itself Never Surrender, Inc. Her own financial disclosure reports $165,282 from the two Trump entities for the entire reporting period. The final checks were dated January 31, 2025, which might sound scandalous without context - but they were just prorated stubs showing the payroll shutting off almost exactly at the time of inauguration - the time when she was walking away from the campaign and into the White House to assume her new role as special assistant and executive assistant to the president. Her new salary listed at $150,000 a year. A pay cut.

What she did to earn that money is now extensively documented. She was reportedly dubbed the “human printer” handing Trump hand-picked positive press she printed from a portable rechargeable printer. While that absolutely sounds absurd, it’s actually a job with a documented lineage of ready-and-willing yes-men. Back in 2017 it took a ten-person RNC war room to assemble the twice-daily packet of flattering coverage that staffers aptly nicknamed “the propaganda document.” Reince Priebus and Sean Spicer competed over who got to deliver it to their favorite leader. But come 2023, that entire apparatus belonged to one hand-picked favorite - Natalie. Just Natalie.

Natalie was, per CNN’s reporting earlier this week, the aide who allegedly climbed into the trunk of an SUV outside Trump Tower in October 2023 so she wouldn’t be left behind on a trial day. She wrote him letters that year that the New York Times obtained, one of which included the line “You are all that matters to me.” In May 2024 her brother publicly identified her as the staffer behind the “unified Reich” video posted to Trump’s Truth Social account - and most telling of all - in July 2026 Natalie was among the handful aboard that secret decoy flight out of Ankara. She was one of the people Trump was willing to save if all went to shit.

What qualified her for any of this? Your guess is as good as anyone’s. Executive assistant to the president is not a confirmed position. There’s no vetting beyond the president’s personal preference, and in this case Natalie’s entire non-Trump resume appears to include her family company and a short stint at a right-wing news outlet. And before anyone suggests they hired some social media prodigy for a social media job, her own archived twitter account documents the number of followers she managed to collect after a convention speech, a presidential call-in, and eighteen months of the loudest promotion on earth: 37,500 whole entire followers along with tweets that struggled to break a few hundred likes. She was never particularly good at garnering a wide audience - she only had to please an audience of one.

Ordinarily none of that would really matter - assistants everywhere are hired on trust. It’s an entry level position that’s easy to train on. But it starts to matter when a federal complaint describes that unvetted job as the primary operator of an account the president’s own company now sells early access to for $100,000 a month. Her keystrokes now move markets that benefit the president in his personal capacity. The only qualification she seems to hold is having told a story Trump liked to hear.

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Her digital presence was wiped

Much of Natalie’s online history has quietly disappeared, the closer she got to Trump. Her Twitter account, fourteen thousand tweets deep, vanished sometime after May 2024. Her old profile URL now returns the platform’s account-unavailable page. Is it possible she didn’t delete it herself, and was instead banned? Sure, I guess. But let’s be honest, I don’t think we’d ever hear the end of it if her account was removed against her will.

The LinkedIn op-ed that launched her into headlines and primetime interview slots was deleted with her account. Liberty’s own article still links to the dead page.

The personal website that once sat in her since deleted Twitter bio, natalieharp.com, redirects to a LinkedIn page that says “This page doesn’t exist”.

Her purported Instagram, the last account standing, is set to private, unable to be viewed by the public - unverified.

For most people that might just be a little professional cleanup, or maybe a social media detox - but for the person a federal complaint identifies as the primary operator of the president’s social media account, in an administration that lives online, and was once chronically online in the same way Trump is today - a scrubbed digital footprint is a choice.

For science, here are a few examples of @NatalieJHarp’s old tweets:

• August 2019: she told Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib she’d been “elected (unfortunately)” and represented the United States, not Palestinians, closing with #KAG. (Which means Keep America Great)

• July 16, 2020: she tweeted that supporting Trump “can mean losing family, friends” but that silent Trump voters would show up anyway, because “we don’t want to lose our country.” Her father passed away the following day. The tweet remained.

• July 2020: as hydroxychloroquine was being debunked as a COVID treatment, she called it a “life-saving drug” and claimed patriots “wouldn’t be alive today” if Trump hadn’t promoted it. - According to the National Institutes of Health, they halted their own trial in 2020 after finding the drug offered no benefit to hospitalized COVID patients.

• January 11, 2021: five days after the Capitol attack, her timeline was a flood of retweets like Rudy Giuliani promoting “WHAT REALLY HAPPENED On January 6th,” posts insisting Trump had told the crowd to behave “peacefully,” and complaints that deplatforming Parler was the real crime of the week.

• May 2024: the “unified Reich” video went up on Trump’s account. The campaign blamed an unnamed junior staffer who they claim didn’t know the video included the term. Her brother called her out on that, publicly, asking: “How the hell do you miss a word like ‘Reich’!?”

Natalie debuted as a loud-and-proud medical miracle, campaigning on the story that she wouldn’t be alive if Trump hadn’t stepped in. The role she settled into was medical and conspiracy theory validator - the smiling proof-of-concept for whatever claim the MAGA movement needed amplified that week.

The circle protects their own

For a “junior staffer” whose job consists of supplying flattery, a particularly unusual number of powerful people continue to publicly vouch for her. Trump called into her first Fox appearance and she later spoke on the biggest stage Republicans had to offer.

Per Haberman and Swan’s Regime Change, Trump has told staff that - all of them will go off and make money, but “she’ll never leave me.”

When Michael Wolff’s book claimed the Secret Service had flagged her as a security consideration and described her offering to post Trump’s attacks that would violate his gag-order, under her own name during the 2024 trial, the White House didn’t dispute her willingness to go to jail for him - and by the Telegraph’s account of the book, no one was going to be the one to tell Trump.

Earlier this week, when Ossoff said her name on the campaign trail, soon-to-be-former press secretary Karoline Leavitt called her “one of the most loyal and hardest-working aides” on the president’s team. Rep. Anna Paulina Luna tweeted that Ossoff’s comment was “both sexists and misogynistic.” Adding, “attractive women can be qualified, hard workers, and in positions of power. Your gross implication otherwise only highlights your own insecurity and guilty conscience. I feel bad for your staff if this is what you think of women.” (Donald Trump was found civilly liable for sexual abuse in 2023. John Ossoff opined that Donald Trump would rather travel with Natalie and build his ballroom than do his job. One of these things is not like the other.)

Natalie’s loyalty to Trump is going down as documented and without question. The same goes for the Trump administration’s loyalty to Natalie.

What remains a question is everything else.

The dedication and stamina described and documented by everyone above, belongs to a woman whose last public comment on the status of her health, was in her August 2020 speech at the RNC - the one where she told Trump and the world she’d have “died waiting” for her treatment to be approved. Fourteen months prior, on Fox & Friends, she’d framed it differently - saying she was no longer dying from it, but “living with cancer.” August 2020 was six years ago. Since then she has traveled on what appears to be damn near every leg of a presidential campaign, and moved on to a job at the White House, worked countless long hours, and asserted herself as someone worthy of boarding the safer plane.

As far as I can find, neither she nor the press office has ever said another word about the illness that put her on Trump’s radar. It simply…stopped being relevant.

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Buy your a feral b*tch a coffee

In my last article, we walked through the three passivity commitments stapled to the back of the OCC’s approval of the Trump family’s new bank. Eric Trump signed one, a World Liberty co-founder signed another…

This article is about the other guy.

And you might want to actually sit down for this one, because my last piece was about a conflict of interest - this is about to make that look like a parking ticket.

This is going to be about national security, and the federal agency that claimed a national security review wasn’t their department.

(FYI - a passivity commitment is a promise not to go all “I am king” when you’re granted the right to create a bank.)

The other guy

One of the passivity commitments comes from a company called StringZ Holding RSC (DE) LLC. Normally I’d hyperlink the registration paperwork here or some kind of article about who they are, but this is a company seemingly no one has ever written a word about. I can’t find it listed in a single news story, corporate database, or filing anywhere except in this one letter - which is a hell of a finding (or lack thereof) for a shareholder in an American bank holding company.

It’s signed by Hamad Khlfan Ali Matar Alshamsi, Manager. (His last name is often spelled Al-Shamsi.)

In 2020, Citizen Lab researcher Bill Marczak went through the public register of the Abu Dhabi Global Market and published what he found. “Mr. Hamad Khlfan Ali Matar Alshamsi” was listed as the sole director of a company called Group 42 (G42), right there in a government database.

That’s a big fucking problem when you consider the fact that the register also included dude’s day job, which was noted as “Public Relations Manager at the Office of H.H. Sheikh Tahnoun Bin Zayed Al Nahyan.” That’s the UAE’s National Security Adviser.

The guy who runs the UAE’s intelligence services and his PR guy were running G42 together.

For good measure: The Associated Press confirmed it separately, reporting that G42’s sole director listed in Abu Dhabi Global Market filings is Hamad Khalfan al-Shamsi, identified by Marczak as the public relations manager of Sheikh Tahnoun’s office.

And for the record - Tahnoun is the brother of Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the whole ass President of the United Arab Emirates (UAE).

Why do we care about Group 42 (G42)?

In 2019 a messaging app called ToTok became wildly popular in the Middle East. It offered free video calls in a country where WhatsApp and Skype calling are banned, which honestly should’ve been the first red flag. It was promoted by both Emirati state-linked media and Huawei, a Chinese telecommunications company.

As more and more users in the eastern hemisphere started downloading the app, the US followed suit, and it quickly became one of the most downloaded social apps in the country…at least for a moment.

Something wasn’t right and the American media clocked it fast.

On December 22, 2019, the New York Times published an investigative report, thanks in part to American officials familiar with a classified intelligence assessment. The report stated that ToTok was a mass surveillance tool of the UAE. The Times noting:

“It has access to users’ microphones, cameras, calendar and other phone data.”

That’s a real concern when you consider the Times also reminded the class that the UAE has:

“been at the forefront of using surveillance technology to crack down on internal dissent — including hacking Western journalists, emptying the banking accounts of critics, and holding human rights activists in prolonged solitary confinement over Facebook posts.”

(Pretty shitty resume for the country whose spy chief’s press officer just signed onto a banking charter tied to the US President.)

Obviously Google pulled it from the Play Store within days and Apple removed it shortly thereafter. American embassy staff were ordered to scrub it from every government device - which goes to show just how seriously they were taking this…after the media made it public.

What does any of this have to do with G42?

Well, according to Abu Dhabi business filings reviewed by the Associated Press, ToTok’s sole registered shareholder was Group 42 (G42). Who was listed as running it? None other than Director, Hamad Khalfan Al-Shamsi. (Tahnoun would later tell the SEC he owns it, holding sole voting and decision-making control. We’ll get there.)

(To be clear, Al-Shamsi is not listed as a director of ToTok itself. He is listed as sole director of the company that owned it. Businessmen love to muddy the waters.)

They put the spy-shit in writing

ToTok’s people didn’t even bother trying to hide exactly what it was they were building. Two months before the Times published their findings, ToTok Technology Ltd filed a trademark application in Singapore. It’s public and anyone can read exactly what it was they were selling:

(Facial recognition software. Voice recognition software. Gesture recognition software. Biometric security systems. Electronic surveillance apparatus and instruments. Machine learning software for surveillance and security.)

A free messaging app claimed trademark protection over electronic surveillance apparatus and machine learning software for surveillance, in a public government filing, and not one person in a position to do anything about it seems to have been inclined to care. The address listed was Floor 23 of the Al Khatem Tower in Abu Dhabi Global Market Square, which will matter in about ninety seconds, give-or-take how fast you read.

Tahnoun told the US Government he owns G42

(This is about to get wordy and I apologize, but these guys make it complicated and boring on purpose so I need you to stay with me.)

In June 2022, G42 bought a stake in a North Carolina pharmaceutical company. Because of course they did. When you buy more than 5% of a public American company, you’re required to tell the government who you are. The form you have to fill out is called a Schedule 13D, and the one filed that June names two parties behind the purchase: G42 Investments AI Holding RSC Ltd, and HH Sheikh Tahnoon Bin Zayed S. Al-Nahyan.

The paperwork then explains the entire obnoxiously intricate corporate web:

Cliff-notes: The man who runs the UAE intelligence services told American securities regulators, in a signed federal filing, that he owns Group 42. (The company Hamad Khalfan Al-Shamsi is listed as the Director of.)

To boot, that same document places Group 42 on Floor 8 of the Al Khatem Tower in ADGM Square, which is fifteen floors below the company that had registered that ToTok trademark over surveillance.

Congress gave Commerce a deadline to act or explain themselves

On January 3, 2024, Republican Mike Gallagher (then chairman of the House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party) wrote to (then Commerce Secretary) Gina Raimondo regarding:

“An Emirati artificial intelligence company that works extensively with the People’s Republic of China (PRC)’s military, intelligence services, and state-owned entities.”

The company he was talking about was Group 42.

His letter says DarkMatter, which it calls “a corporate affiliate of G42,” builds:

“Spyware and surveillance tools that can be used to spy on dissidents, journalists, politicians, and U.S. companies.”

The New York Times described DarkMatter as:

“an Abu Dhabi-based cyberintelligence [sic] and hacking firm where Emirati intelligence officials, former National Security Agency employees and former Israeli military intelligence operatives work.”

Gallagher’s letter noted the State Department had already fined former American employees of DarkMatter under the Arms Export Control Act (“The basic U.S. law providing the authority and general rules for the conduct of Foreign Military Sales and commercial sales of defense articles, defense services, and training.”) while Commerce “has failed to place any restrictions on DarkMatter, G42, or their affiliated companies.” It then names thirteen entities, five of them DarkMatter companies registered inside China, and demanded that Commerce determine whether any of them belong on the Entity List - which isn’t as ambiguous as it sounds. The Entity List “identifies persons or addresses of persons reasonably believed to be involved, or to pose a significant risk of being or becoming involved, in activities contrary to the national security or foreign policy interests of the United States.”

This wasn’t some performative congressman filing paperwork in an attempt to make it look like he was doing something. He provided his concerns, listed examples and gave a deadline of when he expected a response. If Commerce decided the companies didn’t belong on the Entity List, the letter says, it needed to “provide a detailed explanation as to why as soon as possible but no later than February 2nd, 2024.”

And unfortunately…I can find no public record of Commerce ever responding at all. What happened instead, is that nine days after that deadline, G42 announced it had sold off its stakes in Chinese companies. Gallagher noted it as a welcome first step.

Two months after that, Microsoft put $1.5 billion into G42 and Raimondo publicly praised the deal as a way of keeping the company out of China’s camp.

G42 was never placed on the Entity List.

Two years later, Commerce cleared it for American AI chips.

It gets worse. So much worse.

On July 10, 2026, Commerce’s Bureau of Industry and Security moved the UAE into Country Group A:5, which is the most privileged export tier the US has. With their new distinction, Reuters reported that G42 was among the companies that would no longer need a license to get American AI chips and servers.

Senator Elizabeth Warren did what she does best - she paid attention and (like my favorite menace always does) called the Trump administration out on their bullshit, saying:

“We already know that the UAE royal behind G42 and MGX secretly bought a 49% stake in the Trump crypto company, World Liberty Financial… Now, Trump’s Commerce Department is giving G42 license-free access to advanced AI chips and promising favorable treatment for MGX, despite reported concerns about the diversion of sensitive technology to China and other national security risks.”

A Republican House chairman had given Commerce a hard deadline to justify why it was or wasn’t blacklisting this company, and two and a half years later - Commerce handed it license-free access to the most sensitive technology America has to offer.

And make no mistake about it - this wasn’t some compromise, partial approval, or carefully crafted bureaucratic negotiation. It was the exact opposite of what a member of Trump’s own party demanded, delivered to a company owned by a foreign intelligence chief, by an administration whose President’s family had just taken half a billion dollars from the same man’s orbit.

And yes, you read that right.

On January 16, 2025, four days before Trump’s inauguration (and one day before Trump dropped his $TRUMP memecoin), lieutenants to Sheikh Tahnoun quietly signed a deal to buy 49% of World Liberty Financial for half a billion dollars. The Wall Street Journal broke the story a year later in a piece titled “‘Spy Sheikh’ Bought Secret Stake in Trump Company.”

Eric Trump signed the deal, just like he signed the passivity commitment promising to behave when it comes to his orange-daddy’s new bank.

The buyers paid half up front, sending $187 million to Trump family entities and at least $31 million to entities tied to the family of Steve Witkoff. Steve Witkoff had been named US envoy to the Middle East weeks earlier - and according to fucking maps, the UAE is in the Middle East.

None of this was disclosed. At the time it was being signed, Tahnoun just so happened to be pushing the US for access to the exact AI chips he would eventually get - license free.

World Liberty’s spokesman denied the deal had anything to do with the chips. Trump reigns king of coincidence.

And then came August 14

Thirty-five days after getting fast-tracked access to America’s most sensitive technology, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency approved a national trust charter for a bank the President’s family owns a piece of.

Stapled to the back of it is a signed pledge from the man Abu Dhabi’s own register listed as sole director of Group 42 - the man in charge of Tahnoun’s public image, Hamad Khalfan Al-Shamsi.

(/s/ means signed)

On another page of that same letter, the OCC wrote that CFIUS review - the process that exists for the sole purpose of screening foreign investments for national security concerns - falls outside the scope of its review. Then a few pages after that, the same agency mentions almost in passing that it had collected passivity commitments from certain US and non-US investors in World Liberty Financial.

Foreign ownership was somehow outside of their job description, but somebody had walked down the hall to collect some signatures about it. The government rarely collects a written promise from a person they don’t foresee being a problem. So, they acknowledged foreign investors needed to put a promise in writing - but denied that any national security review was any of their business?

That makes no sense - because it doesn’t make sense.

TLDR…

Nobody named here has been charged with a crime. And isn’t that a fucking sentence.

The man who signed a pledge to a United States banking regulator sits in Abu Dhabi’s public register as sole Director of Group 42 and as press officer to the man who runs Emirati intelligence.

Group 42 was the registered shareholder of the messaging app ToTok, an app American intelligence assessed as a foreign surveillance tool - which was backed up by the company’s own trademark filing.

The National Security Adviser of the UAE told the SEC - under his own name - that he owns Group 42.

A Republican House committee chairman gave Commerce a deadline to explain why that company would or wouldn’t be blacklisted, but Commerce gave it American AI chips instead. Thirty-five days later, the OCC accepted the signature of that same company’s listed director on a charter for the President’s family’s bank.

Every single one of those facts was sitting in a government file, out in the wild for anyone to find - but it didn’t matter. A federal agency filed his signature away as some kind of written pinky-promise of good intentions - and said foreign ownership and national security were somebody else’s problem.

And now it feels like everyone’s problem.

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Buy an exhausted feral bitch a coffee

On Friday afternoon the federal government handed a bank charter to World Liberty Financial - the crypto company 38% owned by an entity tied to Donald Trump and his family. Trump personally owns 70% of said entity.

The agency that did it is the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. It sits inside the Treasury Department but there’s no bipartisan board, no commission, no one who has to agree with anyone else. There is one Comptroller, and they are appointed by the President himself - that’s it. And conveniently enough, per the Senate Banking Committee, Trump had already asserted control over the OCC by executive order before any of this banking bullshit began.

Senator Elizabeth Warren, ranking Democrat on that committee (and absolute investigative menace whom we must protect at all costs), did not stutter when she said:

Every outlet ran that quote, but it feels like none of them actually read through to the back of the letter, because it’s far more fucked up than anyone is saying.

The pinky swear

Once you scroll past the conditions, footnotes, and signature on the approval letter - you hit three enclosures called passivity commitments.

A passivity commitment is what you sign when a regulator asks whether or not you plan to control a bank you own a piece of and you’d prefer the answer be no. It is a promise. A written one. On purpose.

The first one is labeled “Passivity Commitments by DT Marks SC LLC.”

DT Marks is what the Trump Organization slaps on the front of a shit-ton of its entities. DT Marks DEFI LLC holds the family’s stake in World Liberty Financial. DT Marks SC LLC is a shareholder in the holding company that will own this bank.

So the family owns part of the bank. And what the United States government accepted as protection against them using it - is a piece of paper where they agree to be good. Something they have spent most of their documented time failing to prove they are capable of.

What did they agree to?

• DT Marks won’t do anything that turns the bank into its own subsidiary.

• They won’t install a representative as an officer, agent or employee.

• They won’t run a rival slate of directors.

• They won’t seek or use material non-public information. (Private information about a company that could impact its stock price.)

• And if they ever own 10% or more, everything above 9.9% has to be handed to management and voted in whatever proportion the other shareholders vote, so it can’t be used as leverage.

If they break any of those promises, the document says DT Marks “will have intentionally exercised a controlling interest in the Bank” and can face administrative action. (Donald Trump is the administration)

Who signed that written promise?

Eric F. Trump, President.

The President’s son signed a federal document swearing the family won’t touch a national bank the family owns. A federal agency read that, accepted it, stamped it, and stapled it to the back of an approval. Because regulatory dignity and decency have died.

But it gets worse. The other two signatures?

The second belongs to StringZ Holding RSC (DE) LLC, signed by a man named Hamad Khlfan Ali Matar Alshamsi. He is not American. That name is a story in and of itself - and man is that one fucking coming - but it is far too big to bury in a paragraph here, so bear with me.

The third is AMGUS, LLC, signed by Zachary Folkman, Managing Member. Folkman co-founded World Liberty Financial and signed its original securities paperwork with the SEC back in 2024.

Three shareholders - a Trump entity, a founder’s entity, and a foreign one. All three swore they won’t run the bank. The government took all three of them at their word and considered it oversight. Because apparently, the American government has collectively lost their minds.

Decision #1384 and Decision #1385

The approval for all of this is Corporate Decision #1385, out of the OCC’s Chartering, Organization and Structure division - signed by Senior Deputy Comptroller Stephen A. Lybarger.

Corporate Decision #1384 is dated ten days earlier. It’s the same division with the same man’s signature - but ten days prior to approving the Trump-affiliated bank, it denied a charter to the Dutch fintech “bunq.”

Here’s what bunq was told, in the agency’s own words. The application “does not demonstrate that bunq USB has capital that is sufficient to support the projected volume and type of business.” The organizers “did not provide sufficient support for their claims regarding the initial capitalization.” And the OCC “concluded unfavorably regarding the general character and fitness of the management,” based on “transparency concerns regarding inconsistencies in what bunq USB’s management was communicating to the OCC.”

Two weeks before that, the same office denied Wise, which had applied for the exact same kind of charter World Liberty just walked away with. Lybarger’s letter cited significant supervisory and compliance concerns, state anti-money-laundering actions, and organizers who hadn’t shown sufficient familiarity with federal banking law.

(According to Reuters, Capital One closed Trump’s bank accounts “after a review by anti-money laundering experts.” The bank has never accused the Trump Organization of illegal money laundering.)

Bunq got refused, in part, over capital. World Liberty got approved with a $20 million floor propping up a stablecoin carrying roughly $4 billion.

Michele Alt of Klaros Group told American Banker that observers would be comparing this approval against those denials on capitalization, management and regulatory history - which was so polite of her. I am not polite. An agency that just spent a summer telling foreign fintechs their management wasn’t fit to run a bank, handed one to the family of the man who appoints its fucking boss.

What the agency decided wasn’t its problem

The public filed comments prior to this decision being made - comments that should have been taken into consideration. Some raised fantastic points regarding the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution. One asked the OCC to wait until certain non-US investors divested from World Liberty Financial.

The letter’s answer to both of those points - is that those comments fall outside the scope of its review, because neither World Liberty Financial nor any foreign investors in it are a party to the application.

On foreign ownership, the letter says CFIUS review, the process that screens foreign investment for national security risk, is outside the scope of its review.

Foreign money is apparently not their department. Nor is the Constitution.

Money laundering, missing reserve requirements, absent consumer protections, and the whole principle that banking and commerce stay separate - were all logged in one section of the letter and then dropped off at someone else’s house like it wasn’t their problem.

The agency then defended itself in writing by saying the Comptroller and staff acted consistently with their statutory duties and ethical obligations - and that approvals like this get made under authority the Comptroller delegates to career staff. It’s giving blame-game, which is only played when someone does something stupid.

Having written all that down, the OCC then declined to comment on its own decision - which is bitch-boy behavior.

Spare us the partisan bullshit

Bank trade groups opposed this too. So did Americans for Financial Reform Education Fund (AFR), a consumer watchdog, which said Friday evening that the OCC “exceeded its statutory authority and longstanding judicial precedent to unlawfully grant” the charter.

A trust bank’s entire job is holding other people’s assets and being legally bound to put those people first. AFR’s position is that this company can’t be handed that job given its relationships with, in their words:

“convicted money-launderers (some subsequently pardoned by Trump) and foreign investors, including a 49 percent stake by a United Arab Emirates sovereign wealth fund that also has two board seats on the WLF parent company.”

And I genuinely wish they were exaggerating for effect - but I’ve literally already written about this. Binance founder Changpeng Zhao pleaded guilty in 2023 to failing to maintain an anti-money-laundering program. His company paid $4.3 billion, he did four months in prison, and then Trump pardoned his ass on October 23, 2025 - just months after an Abu Dhabi state fund used World Liberty’s stablecoin to buy $2 billion worth of Binance.

Fun fact: Justin Sun bought $30 million worth of World Liberty tokens in November 2024. Three months later the SEC asked a judge to pause its fraud case against him and the judge said yes.

None of that was an ambiguous talking point. A consumer watchdog is accusing a federal agency of acting illegally - and they listed examples.

What Zach Witkoff said

Zach Witkoff chairs the bank, because of course he does. He’s the son of Steve Witkoff, the sitting US Special Envoy to the Middle East. His statement read:

“We welcome continuous scrutiny from Federal regulators for many years to come.”

The regulators in question answer to a Comptroller the President appointed, at an agency the President asserted control over by executive order, examining a bank the President’s family owns part of, on a charter the President’s son signed paperwork for.

This is the confidence of a rich frat boy wearing a “do you realize who my dad is?” hat. The hat is red.

So

No one has been charged with anything and I’m not accusing anyone of a crime. Because allegedly and shit. Also, crime seems somewhat legal at this point, depending on your net-worth and relationship to those in charge. But hey - what the fuck do I know?

Circle, Ripple, Paxos and BitGo have all been approved by this same agency, which has taken in roughly 40 applications since 2025. A crypto company getting one is not the scandal here - though, honestly, it should be, but unfortunately we’re far past DEFCON crypto.

The scandal now, is that the President’s family owns a piece of a federally chartered bank and the only thing standing between them and it - is a piece of paper signed by a guy who was barred from being an officer or director of any New York corporation for 2 years, an order the appeals court later stayed. Eric. We’re talking about Eric Trump.

Ten days before he signed that, the same official refused another bank because he wasn’t satisfied it had enough money and wasn’t satisfied that its management was fit to run one. Then he did this shit, on a Friday afternoon in August, when nobody was supposed to be looking because it was a fucking Friday afternoon.

Financial disclosures released in June show Trump took around $550 million from World Liberty token sales last year and more than $1.4 billion in crypto earnings overall.

And when the public asked about foreign money and the Constitution, the answer was that those questions fall outside the scope of their review.

They’re not outside of the scope. They are quite literally the only thing anyone should be reviewing.

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On November 17, 2025, Dar Global and the Trump Organization announced a Trump International Hotel & Resort in the Maldives, along with a financing idea nobody had tried before, which was selling the construction of it, to investors, as a crypto product.

Not the resort. Not a room. Not a share of anything. What’s on offer is a digital token that pays you a cut of the interest on the loan financing the build, and you buy it on the strength of a hotel that opens in 2028…or 2030 depending on which report you’re reading. Accredited investors only though - which in the US means you need about a million dollars in the bank (not counting your house), or at least $200,000 a year coming in.

Nine months in, not a single token has sold, and after going through their paperwork, I’d venture to say those passing on the deal are the only ones behaving rationally.

Who’s actually in this

Dar Global trades on the London Stock Exchange, which sounds great until you follow the ownership upward. Its majority shareholder is a UAE outfit called Dar Al Arkan Global Investment, and sitting above that is Dar Al Arkan Real Estate Development Company in Riyadh - one of the largest developers in Saudi Arabia. By 2025, Trump-branded properties accounted for roughly 18% of Dar Global’s entire portfolio, which makes this look like less of a partnership and more like a dependency.

World Liberty Financial is the Trump family’s crypto company. Don Jr., Eric and Barron are listed as co-founders and Donald Trump is listed as co-founder emeritus, which is a title that exists because somebody had to invent a way to say “I still own this, I’m just president now.”

Securitize is the company that turns things into tokens. It’s a registered broker-dealer and transfer agent running an SEC-regulated trading system, and its client list is the usual suspects, meaning BlackRock, Apollo, KKR, Hamilton Lane and VanEck - all of whom have their own catalogue of proverbial sins that will keep for another day. BlackRock and Cathie Wood’s Ark Invest are both investors in Securitize, and it went public through a shell company sponsored by Cantor Fitzgerald, the firm Howard Lutnick ran until he became Secretary of Commerce and handed it to his sons.

The things those clients put on the platform are funds holding short-term government debt and funds that lend money to companies. Basically, it’s full of assets that already exist, already pay out, and already carry a price on the day you buy in.

Then there’s this one…where the asset is a lagoon….or an island. We’ll get to that.

The February 18, 2026 press release says the Trump Organization and its principals are not the issuers, sponsors, promoters, or sellers of these tokens (The World Liberty Financial tokens btw), and that Dar Global uses the Trump name only under a trademark license. That’s their language, they’re entitled to it, and I’ll print it. That doesn’t mean I’ll respect it.

Read the very next sentence of their own disclaimer.

That is some fine, fine print, so let’s sum it up - DT Marks Defi LLC, an entity affiliated with Donald Trump and family, holds roughly 38% of an affiliate of a company called WLF DAR Maldives Limited. And that affiliate is entitled to a portion of the proceeds from the token issuance.

They’re not selling it. They just get paid when it sells. They wrote that down themselves, in the same paragraph where they told you they have nothing to do with it, and apparently nobody in that room saw a problem with putting both sentences next to each other.

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The company collecting the money doesn’t exist on paper

WLF DAR Maldives Limited is the entity named in the above disclaimer. The one taking a cut. That’s all fine and dandy, but…I have scoured business registries across the globe and cannot find any evidence of its existence anywhere.

It isn’t in UK Companies House, the free public register of every British company. It doesn’t populate any results in the US SEC EDGAR database. It isn’t in the Abu Dhabi Global Market register, which is notable because that’s where Dar Global keeps its own holding company. And it isn’t in the Maldives Business Registry, which returned nothing at all and then offered to reserve the name, since apparently it’s still available.

It’s also absent from Dar Global’s own Annual Report & Accounts 2025. Not in the subsidiaries, not in the joint ventures, not in the associates, and not in the related-party transactions. Across 146 pages of audited accounts, “World Liberty,” “Securitize” and “WLF” appear zero times - in a document published three weeks after they threw a press event at Mar-a-Lago featuring this exact deal.

There are jurisdictions that don’t publish registers and it may be sitting in one of those, or it might have been incorporated after the accounts closed in December. Both are possible and neither is the point. The point is that they have been marketing this for nine months and the company named as the recipient of the money has no paperwork any member of the public can lay hands on.

Everything says Kaafu. The annual report says Noonu.

The Maldives is 1,192 tiny coral islands scattered across 871 kilometres (~541 miles) of ocean, sorted into 26 clusters - a cluster is what an atoll is. Naming the wrong one isn’t some rounding error, it’s the difference between a hotel outside of Boston and a hotel outside of Baltimore - except there’s no highway and you’d have to fly.

The Maldivian Ministry of Tourism publishes a running list of every resort under development, who holds the lease, and precisely where it is. The version dated August 9, 2025 lists one entry for Dar Global, at number 79.

Kaafu is the atoll containing Malé, which is the capital. We should also note that it’s labeled as a “Lagoon.” Those coordinates sit about 21 kilometres (~13 miles) northwest of the city, which is about a 25-minute boat ride. 25 minutes is exactly what both press releases and the sales brochure promise.

The brochure goes further and names the neighbors: Thulusdhoo, Banana Reef, HP Reef and the North Malé outer reef edge, all within 20 minutes - and it describes Thulusdhoo as a surf destination in North Malé Atoll.

But if you open page 11 of Dar Global’s audited annual report - the one signed by chairman David Weinreb and CEO Ziad El Chaar on March 10, 2026 - it says Noonu Atoll.

Noonu is about 150 kilometres (~93 miles) north. Nobody has ever taken a 25-minute speedboat from Kaafu to Noonu. Maafaru airport in Noonu is a 45-minute flight from Malé, and seaplane service to Noonu runs 45 to 60 minutes.

This is an $18.4 million asset, in the audited accounts of a company listed on the London Stock Exchange, and government documents conflict with company documents on where it even exists. This report cleared the company, it cleared the board, and it cleared the auditors, all of whom are paid handsomely to verify where their assets actually sit, on a project whose exact coordinates the Maldivian government publishes for free.

There is also no island

Remember that time I pointed out that the Maldivian government called the location a “Lagoon”?

So…a Lagoon isn’t an island. It’s not even a beach. It’s just a patch of shallow water. It’s what happens when a bunch of sand bars have a baby and make an ocean-bathtub. That’s what the brochure’s “DG LAGOON” branding has been telling everyone the whole time, and it’s why every rendering in that document is an overwater villa or a floating villa. As far as I can tell, whatever ends up out there has to be built on top of the ocean, starting from nothing.

Which brings us to the books, where Dar Global records $18,408,928 under “Land” in property and equipment and calls it the acquisition of land in the Maldives (Page 126). The government calls it a lagoon. Dar Global also states “The Group’s intention is to develop and operate a hotel on this newly acquired land.” No word yet on how they intend to make it float - unless…it’s the Maldivian government who got the location wrong.

Foreign companies generally can’t own Maldivian land outright, but can hold a long leasehold. Nevertheless, land and lagoon are two very different things, and only one of those words is coming from the people who want investor money.

The details keep moving

We’ve got the same property and the same developer - and a three-month span.

In November 2025 this property was described as around 80 villas, opening by the end of 2028. However, by February 2026 it had become around 100 villas, and finishing in 2030. Twenty-five percent more villas and a two-year delay, announced before even one token had gone on sale, on a project where the only thing anyone is being asked to buy is the schedule.

Then there’s just the really ridiculous part. Dar Global published its 2025 numbers twice, once as full-year results and once as the statutory annual report - one day apart. They both list the same figures, and the same note about the Maldives land. But one version says the purchase happened in the current year, while the other says it happened the previous year.

The numbers underneath are identical in both, $16.3 million added in 2024 and $2.1 million in 2025, so one of those sentences is simply incorrect about when a foreign land-purchase happened. Two versions of one audited note, twenty-four hours apart, and they couldn’t keep the year straight.

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What already pays

Four days ago CNBC reported that Trump’s foreign real estate licensing income had reached $59.5 million in 2025, and that the biggest single slice of it - $25.8 million - came from projects tied to Dar Al Arkan and its subsidiaries, and we already know Dar Global is one of its subsidiaries. We’re shocked.

So before a single token changes hands, the Trump family’s relationship with Dar Al Arkan is already producing eight figures a year, and the token sale would be the second flow.

The clock is still running, too. Back in January, Dar Global said it was targeting a launch within three months, which put it at the end of April. It’s the middle of August and there’s been no sale, no issuance, and still no launch date.

Securitize, for its part, is still carrying it. When you open the company’s second-quarter 2026 earnings presentation, the one it hands its own shareholders, there it sits in their tokenized section, listed as “DAR Global (WLFI).” Nine months, nothing issued, nothing sold, and a public company is still counting it as part of the lineup.

So…

For the record, nobody has been charged with anything - and no one is accusing anyone of anything. We’re just here to read their own documents and ask some very obvious questions.

Villa counts changed. Annual reports contain errors. Companies appear publicly invisible.

When you strip away the fancy PDFs filled with photos of luxury and look at the bare bones of what’s being sold - without further clarification - it feels like you’d be wiring money to a company I can’t find registered anywhere, to finance a loan against a resort that appears to be sitting in open water, in an atoll the developer’s own audited accounts can’t seem to get straight, on a timeline that already slipped two years, from people whose explanations don’t match, with a cut going to the family of a sitting president who is not the seller, merely the beneficiary.

Nine months of press releases and not one document.

Maybe investors aren’t just hesitating because crypto is its own concern. Maybe they’re hesitating because they can read.

Update, August 14: Bloomberg reported Thursday that World Liberty has postponed the token sale because the Iran war disrupted regional travel. Benzinga picked it up Friday morning. Still no launch date.

The site is 21 km from Malé. Iran is roughly 3,000 km away. The resort doesn’t open until 2028 or 2030, at which point the war will have been over for years, but sure.

Dar Global CEO Ziad El Chaar gave a statement and managed to never say the word Iran. “Dar Global continues to advance its partnership with the Trump Organization,” he said. “We consistently evaluate the development and roll-out schedules of our global portfolio to ensure they align with market conditions, regulatory requirements, and our long-term strategic objectives.” That’s forty-one words that clarify little to nothing.

A World Liberty spokesperson declined to comment. The Trump Organization didn’t reply at all.

So the developer blames regulators, the reporting blames a war, the company selling the thing has 41 words of not much to say at all, and not one of them can seem to tell you which atoll it’s in.

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The Trump administration wants to “flood the zone” so you can’t keep up or you get too exhausted to care - and I’ll be damned if that happens on my watch. Here’s a cheat sheet of the fuckery afoot.

1. Trump just rewrote the childhood vaccine schedule

On Monday, standing beside RFK Jr., Trump signed an executive order recommending that children be vaccinated against 11 diseases instead of the 18 the CDC recommended in 2024. Neither Trump nor RFK Jr. is a doctor. It also calls for splitting the MMR vaccine - measles, mumps, rubella - into three separate shots. Standalone versions of those shots are not FDA-approved and are not manufactured for routine use in the United States. The order tells doctors to space vaccines across separate visits (increasing the total number of doctor’s visits as healthcare costs soar), and it directs the DOJ to investigate states that don’t honor vaccine-mandate exemptions. Trump claimed at the signing that the combined measles shot could be “quite lethal.” He presented no evidence, because there isn’t any. Measles, however, is. Even Senator Bill Cassidy, the doctor who cast the deciding vote for RFK Jr. on a promise that the childhood schedule wouldn’t change, called the order “so wrong.” A judge blocked the CDC’s attempt at this in March. This one is headed to court too - but the schedule change is the policy in the meantime.

2. Trump won’t rule out an “emergency” over the midterms

In a recent interview, Real America’s Voice host Wayne Allyn Root pitched Trump - “you have the right to declare a national security emergency for elections” - as a workaround for the election bill the Senate won’t pass. Trump declined to rule it out. The Washington Post reported in March that pro-Trump activists were circulating a draft executive order claiming Chinese interference in 2020 gives Trump emergency powers over the 2026 election. In his prime-time address he rambled on about China before releasing “evidence” that was less than convincing. Mainstream media barely bothered to cover it. Courts have held over and over that states run elections, not presidents. He keeps testing the waters anyway.

3. The DOJ invented executive privilege for private citizens

Earlier this week, the DOJ’s Office of Legal Counsel - the office that decides what the executive branch believes the law is - published a 21-page opinion saying executive privilege can cover Trump’s private advisers - people who do not work for the government - so long as the communications “relate to official presidential decisionmaking.” Translated - if Democrats win Congress in November and start sending subpoenas to the outside fixers, the White House now has a pre-written excuse to not comply. A former OLC attorney told Axios it could be a significant weapon against congressional investigations and goes beyond anything the office has formally claimed before. The opinion isn’t binding, and courts may laugh at it. It exists anyway, and conveniently, 3 months ahead of the election that would trigger it.

4. The slush fund has a pulse again

Todd Blanche was sworn in Monday as the 88th Attorney General - by Judge Emil Bove, his former co-counsel on Trump’s criminal defense team. One Trump defense lawyer administering the oath to the other. Because birds of a fucking feather.

Hours later, Trump was asked whether the $1.776 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund” - the one Blanche formally killed 8 days earlier just to get confirmed - might come back. Trump answered: “Well, that’ll be up to Todd Blanche.” To be clear, on August 2nd there was no longer a Fund. On August 8th Blanche was confirmed 50-49. As of August 10th the fund’s fate rests with the man who just got the job by burying it. Never shocked. Always appalled.

5. Birthright citizenship is back in court - already

On Tuesday, the same lawyers who beat Trump in the Supreme Court filed the first direct challenge to his new birthright citizenship order, telling federal Judge Joseph Laplante in New Hampshire that it “purports to strip birthright citizenship” from children the Court already protected 6 weeks ago. CASA - the immigrant rights group behind one of the original challenges - filed its own motion the same day. The argument writes itself. The Supreme Court said the 14th Amendment covers nearly every baby born on US soil, allowing only the narrow, historical exceptions - children of foreign diplomats and of occupying enemy armies. Trump’s new order stretches “diplomats” into any foreign-government employee, and “occupying enemy armies” into anyone his administration decides to label an “alien enemy.” The Court already listed the exceptions, but Trump didn’t care and wrote new ones. The last order took 17 months to die. The clock on this one started Tuesday.

6. The war is now a billing dispute

Iran’s price for reopening the Strait of Hormuz has become a list of demands - war reparations, US troops out of the region, sanctions and the naval blockade lifted, and frozen assets released. Trump responded via Truth Social on Monday, saying “I am likewise demanding compensation from Iran” for Americans killed by Iran and its proxies going back decades, USS Cole included. So 6 months into a war we started, the strait is still largely blocked, Iran and Oman have already agreed on the shipping lanes - inbound through Iranian waters, outbound through Omani - while Washington and Tehran bill each other. Your gas prices are the interest fees.

7. The president called Democrats “jihadists”

Monday in the Oval Office - the same shitshow where he signed the vaccine order - Trump said Democrats have “jihadists being elected all over the place.” He didn’t name anyone, and didn’t need to. It came days after Abdul El-Sayed, who is Muslim, won Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary, and national Republicans started pointedly using his full legal name. For the record on how sincere the label is - when his own ally called New York’s mayor-elect a jihadist last November, Trump rejected it himself, calling Mamdani “a very rational person.” He knows the meaning of the word and he doesn’t believe it for a second. But he does know exactly what he’s doing and who he’s trying to influence before the midterms.

8. Medicaid will stop covering trans kids’ healthcare - Trump is campaigning on it

On Tuesday the administration finalized a rule barring Medicaid from covering gender-affirming care for anyone under 18, and CHIP - the children’s insurance program - for anyone under 19, effective October 12th. Kids already on hormone therapy have 6 months from that date before their coverage ends. Mental health care stays covered.

The rule’s text calls the treatments “sex-rejecting procedures” - which tells you exactly who wrote it. Whatever your view of the underlying medicine, note what the president did with the announcement. He posted it to Truth Social with a closing line of “Please remember this when you are casting your vote in the Midterm Elections in November.” He wrote the campaign ad into a healthcare policy targeting kids he claims are getting secret surgeries while at school.

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1. The Iran war is 6 months old and Trump is looking for an exit

The war the US and Israel launched in February - the one Trump insisted would end in Iran’s “unconditional surrender” - has instead closed the Strait of Hormuz - the highway for Gulf crude oil - for 6 straight months. Reuters reports the Army has burned through damn near all of its long-range precision missiles, and the polling Reuters cites has voters opposing the war roughly two-to-one. With that kind of turmoil, Iran is naming its price to reopen the strait. They want fees of 5% to 7% of every cargo’s value, US troops out of the region, and billions in payments for the cost of a war we started. On August 7th, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and Pakistan signed a mutual defense pact in Mecca that does not include the United States. A war sold as total victory is now a negotiation over how much America pays Iran per tanker.

2. Trump’s personal defense lawyer is your Attorney General

Todd Blanche - the criminal defense attorney who represented Trump at his Manhattan criminal trial - was confirmed 50-49 in a roll call ABC News clocked at 4:30am on August 8th. 4:30 in the morning being the obvious hour in which you make decisions you’re proud of. Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski voted no. They refused to support the May deal where the DOJ “settled” Trump’s $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS by creating a $1.776 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund.” You know - the one designed to be a payout source for people claiming the government wronged them - like January 6th rioters. The deal also handed Trump, his family, and his businesses broad immunity from tax audits. Evading financial watchdogs…is now a reward. Just to get confirmed, Blanche signed an order declaring “there is no Fund.” But NBC News found the rescission has a loophole that could bring it back to life. Murkowski notes that any leverage the Senate ever had ended the moment it voted to confirm Blanche. The fund is dead, so they promise. There’s no telling how many fingers were crossed at the signing.

3. New Mexico had to sue the DOJ for the Epstein files

On August 5th, New Mexico filed a 40-page federal lawsuit against the DOJ (and Todd Blanche by name) - attaching 25 exhibits. The state reopened its investigation into Epstein’s Zorro Ranch back in February after the released files logged more than 13,000 references to the enormous desert property. One that, per the complaint, federal law enforcement never once searched. New Mexico was investigating it back in 2019, until federal prosecutors told the state to stand down and promised to pass along whatever they uncovered. But per the complaint, the feds passed along nothing. New Mexico Attorney General Raúl Torrez says the DOJ has “decided to stonewall, to obstruct and to frankly conceal.” Trump signed a law in November requiring these files be released. Nevertheless, a state is now having to sue the DOJ to force them to follow the law.

4. ICE is trying to identify its online critics

Per a Wall Street Journal investigation published on August 3rd, ICE runs a round-the-clock operation scanning the internet for posts about the agency. To make matters worse, the report states the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has sent hundreds of subpoenas to social media companies in hopes of identifying their anonymous online critics. Agents have tracked Americans down at work and on the road, asking them to sign letters acknowledging that their posts about ICE “may” be a crime - which will be news to the First Amendment, which has conspicuously been MIA since late January 2025. The agency has spent more than $525 million on surveillance tech since (you’ll be shocked) January 2025, per the outlet. One Reddit user posted 3 comments critical of ICE agents, and got an administrative subpoena in an effort to reveal who they were. The Reddit user beat it in court - only for federal prosecutors to come back again in April - this time - with a grand jury subpoena. DHS claims their antics protect agents from an 8,000% increase in death threats. To be clear, that’s their number, and it doesn’t explain the letters requesting people to acknowledge they’ve committed a potential crime, even though the agency isn’t bringing charges with the paperwork - yet.

5. ICE’s new body cameras come with a catch

ICE says every single one of its field officers will be wearing body cameras by the end of September. Congress put up $20 million for them and even though they only exist because of taxpayers - the public may never get to see the footage. The Associated Press read the policy and footage of shootings, deaths in custody, and serious injuries only gets released when the director decides it’s in the agency’s “best interests.” The footage can also be withheld under undefined “specific and compelling circumstances,” and every officer’s face, name, and badge number gets redacted before the public ever sees a frame. (Accountability is subject to management approval.) The agency is claiming the right to see everything you post about it, while controlling the selective frames you get to see of it. Almost feels like that’s by design, eh?

6. Birthright citizenship, round two

On June 30th the Supreme Court ruled 6-3 in Trump v. Barbara deciding that Trump’s day-one order gutting birthright citizenship was unconstitutional. Five weeks later, on August 6th, he signed two new executive orders taking another stab at it. The Constitution said no and Trump decided that meant “try again.” One order declares that entirely new categories of babies born on American soil won't be citizens at all - children of foreign-government staff, and children of anyone the administration labels an “alien enemy.” The other order restricts visas for pregnant travelers, in the name of ending “birth tourism” - something Trump properties appear to be ironically familiar with. The ACLU, which won Barbara, assures these orders will ultimately meet the same fate - and they’re probably right. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop them from being enforced while the courts play catch up. The last one took 17 months to stop.

7. A federal court reminded Trump he’s a tenant

On August 7th the DC Circuit Court of Appeals halted above-ground construction of the $400 million, 90,000-square-foot White House ballroom-military-complex - the one Trump started building after demolishing the entire East Wing last October without asking a soul. The 2-1 opinion held that only Congress can authorize the build, writing that “Each President is a temporary tenant, not the owner, of the White House.” (A federal court needed 136 pages to explain to the sitting president that he’s a renter.) The court then paused its own order for 2 weeks for a Supreme Court appeal, while below-ground “security” work continues. The Supreme Court has spent two terms finding new ways to allow a president to operate unchecked. Faith they will stay impartial is running low.

8. The midterm maps were already redrawn - in April

On April 29th the Supreme Court ruled 6-3 in Louisiana v. Callais that Louisiana’s second majority-Black district was an unconstitutional racial gerrymander, and drastically narrowed Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act - the provision that let voters of color challenge maps that dilute their vote. To put it simply, per civil rights litigators - partisan gerrymandering now excuses maps that silence Black voters. Louisiana’s legislature erased that district in May.

Kagan dissented, saying in part “Under the Court’s new view of Section 2, a State can, without legal consequence, systematically dilute minority citizens’ voting power.”

Democrats are finally fighting fire with fire. Maryland just put a constitutional amendment on November’s ballot to wipe out its lone Republican seat, and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee expanded its target list to 59 districts. November decides the House. The field it gets fought on was decided this spring, by 6 justices.

9. The economy lost jobs in July

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported Friday that the economy lost 23,000 jobs in July. May and June were revised down by roughly 100,000 jobs combined (more than halving the previously reported gains), and wage growth is the slowest it has been in 5 years. CNN’s polling analysis this week found Trump has lost the Republican Party’s usual advantage on both the economy and national security - two issues the GOP almost never lags behind on. Nevertheless, Trump spent the week campaigning on the economy in California and Nevada anyway. Because audacity is the only thing on clearance these days.

10. Data centers are a ballot issue now

Communities are in open revolt over the AI build-out - the water, the power draw, the tax breaks handed out in closed rooms - and PBS News reports polling that has roughly 7 in 10 Americans opposed to a data center in their own community, with a majority backing a national moratorium. The backlash is bipartisan, it’s showing up in governor’s races, and it’s colliding with an affordability crisis - because the fastest way to feel a data center is on your electric bill, and keeping the lights and air conditioning on is a basic fucking need.

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In May 2008, the chief of the Justice Department unit that prosecutes those who sexually exploit children sat down to write a letter to Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer. In the middle of it, he pointed out something pretty alarming.

“Particularly in cases involving exploited children, as one member of your defense team, Ms. Thacker, surely knows from her work at CEOS, it is not uncommon for victim-witnesses to give conflicting statements.” (EFTA00235633 Page 308)

CEOS is the Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section, the Main Justice unit that handles federal child sex crimes.

Ms. Thacker is Stephanie Thacker. Two years earlier she had been its Principal Deputy Chief, the number two job in the section. Now she was working for Epstein, and her old colleagues were calling her out.

Less than four years later, the Senate confirmed her to a federal appeals court, 91 to 3. She is still on that bench today.

Who she was

Thacker joined CEOS in 1999 and left in 2006. Her own account of what she did there is sitting in the letter she wrote for Epstein.

She was on the team that brought the first prosecution in the country under the Violence Against Women Act. She was on the team that convicted Dwight York, a cult leader who, in her words, “systematically molested countless children, some as young as six years old.” York was sentenced to 135 years. Thacker received the Attorney General's Award for Distinguished Service as part of that trial team.

Thacker wrote that at CEOS she was “one of the architects of the Innocence Lost Initiative, a nationwide initiative designed to combat child prostitution.” She helped build the federal program for going after those who exchange money to sexually exploit minors.

She spent two pages of the letter on all of that, and then explained why…

She’s using her resume as an argument - telling the Justice Department that she of all people would know a child exploitation case when she saw one, and this isn’t one of them.

What the government already said

The CEOS letter went out May 15, 2008. It runs 6 pages long and was signed by section chief Andrew Oosterbaan (EFTA00235631 Page 306). It concluded that U.S. Attorney Alex Acosta “could properly use his discretion to authorize prosecution in this case.” Basically just reaffirming that charging Epstein would be a legitimate call. Duh.

The letter then knocks down, in advance, the arguments Epstein’s team was trying to make:

• The girls lied about their age. CEOS: that “is not dispositive of the issue.”

• Nobody was forced. CEOS: the law “does not require the use of force, fraud, and coercion against minors. Because of their age, a degree of coercion is presumed.” They add that they’ve won these cases “even when the minors testified that not only did they voluntarily engage in the commercial sex acts, it was their idea to do so.”

• Some girls don’t call themselves victims. CEOS: “a defendant’s criminal liability does not hinge on his victim identifying as having suffered at his hands.”

All three of those passages can be found on page 303 of EFTA00235628. It was filed in the victims’ Crime Victims’ Rights Act case as part of Exhibit A and released by the Justice Department earlier this year.

Thirty-five days after that letter was written, Stephanie Thacker made every one of those arguments anyway - to Oosterbaan’s boss.

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What she wrote

Epstein’s lawyers went over CEOS’s head to the Deputy Attorney General’s office. On June 19, 2008 they dropped a stack of letters there. Ken Starr sent one…Thacker sent one…

She opens by reminding everyone where she came from: “As the CEOS letter points out, I was a member of CEOS.”

Her conclusion is that a federal prosecution of Epstein “simply should not be countenanced.” Countenanced is an unnecessarily antiquated word that means allowed. She was essentially telling Main Justice that any decent Justice Department wouldn’t charge him.

On the girls, she identified two who were 14 and 15. Her argument was that they lied about their age. She also described 16 and 17 year old girls as “young women.”

Because they’d filed civil suits, she wrote, “their testimony against Mr. Epstein is per se suspect.” She refers to “the $50 million incentive.” And in a footnote she went after one girl’s father and stepmother over their own criminal convictions. Her words: “Hardly pillars of credibility.”

On what Epstein did to the girls, she writes that during the massages Epstein “masturbated, engaged in some sexual touching, and a small number of alleged acts of penetration,” and that conduct with underage girls “only involved topless massages, massages in undergarments or naked massages.”

The words she chose were “some” and “only.” She referred to the girls as “underage masseuses” as if that’s an occupation.

On June 23, 2008, four days after Thacker's letter, a prosecutor emailed Epstein's lawyer that the Deputy Attorney General had finished his review and "determined that federal prosecution of Mr. Epstein's case [wa]s appropriate." Epstein had until close of business on June 30 to take the state plea he’d already agreed to, or face the federal charges in court. He took the deal.

On June 30, Epstein pled guilty in state court and went to a county jail where he was offered work-release six days a week. (A lawsuit filed by Kaitlin Doe alleges that work release didn’t stop him.)

A federal judge in Florida, Kenneth Marra, later found Epstein had abused more than 30 minor girls between about 1999 and 2007 - a fact the government didn't dispute.

Marra also found the government violated the victims’ rights under the Crime Victims’ Rights Act, the federal law that gives crime victims a say before their case is decided on. While Epstein’s lawyers were pressing his case with senior officials in Washington, the FBI was mailing his victims letters telling them the case was “currently under investigation” and asking for their “continued patience.” Marra called that a material omission.

He also wrote that while Epstein “was within his rights to attempt to persuade higher authorities within the Department of Justice to overrule the prosecutorial decisions of the U.S. Attorney’s Office,” the law was written to give the victims that same opportunity “to attempt to affect prosecutorial decisions before they became final.”

They didn’t get that.

The money

Five wires went from Epstein’s JPMorgan account to the account of the firm Thacker worked for - landing at a BB&T branch in Charleston, West Virginia. (You can see the firm she worked for in her email signature here.)

• February 12, 2008: $11,843.58

• April 4, 2008: $37,027.50

• August 13, 2008: $19,490.13

• December 10, 2010: $17,271.77

• May 23, 2011: $791.00

A forensic accountant’s tally of Epstein’s legal bills also lists $15,135.92 paid to “Stephanie Thacker” by name, labeled as if routed through another firm. Add it up and it’s over $101,000.

Epstein’s own bookkeeping tells you what he thought he was buying. His QuickBooks file codes the payments to account 50404: Legal.

The biggest wire, $37,027.50, lands two and a half months before the letter. The $19,490.13 is sent August 13, which is after the letter, after Justice said no, and after Epstein pled guilty. The work was done, and the invoices got paid.

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What the Senate was told

In September 2011 Thacker filled out the Senate Judiciary Committee questionnaire and swore in front of a notary that it was true and accurate.

Question 12(c) asks nominees to hand over any communications about public policy or legal interpretation they have sent to public officials.

“To the best of my recollection, I have not given any such testimony, official statements or other communications.”

A letter to the Deputy Attorney General’s office arguing about which federal statutes reach a man’s conduct certainly seems like a communication to a public official about legal interpretation. Kind of feels like that’s the entire letter.

But take a look at the question just above it. Question 12(b) asked her to supply any reports or memoranda she had prepared. She listed the Federal Child Support Prosecution Handbook she co-wrote at the Justice Department, and answered that it “constitutes attorney work product and is not supplied.”

Thacker invoked privilege here. She did not invoke privilege in her response to 12(c) - she used the qualifier, “to the best of my recollection.” I guess it must have slipped her mind. And…it doesn’t look like anyone asked her about it. The written questions she got from Chuck Grassley were about her appellate briefs.

Question 18 asks for significant legal work including matters that never went to court. Her answer runs a page and a half about domestic violence, mine safety, and Innocence Lost. Epstein isn’t mentioned. She made room for this though…

On April 16, 2012, Jay Rockefeller stood on the Senate floor and said Thacker “has dedicated much of her career to fighting some of the worst offenses in our society.” The announcement he and Joe Manchin put out said she “drafted laws designed to prevent child prostitution and sex tourism.”

All of it true. All of it also the exact thing Epstein had been doing when she submitted a letter in his defense.

What everyone else cost

Epstein’s financial records list what he paid for everyone else tasked with his defense. Alan Dershowitz, $3.49 million. Kirkland & Ellis, where Ken Starr worked, $2.4 million. Black Srebnick, $2.86 million. Gerald Lefcourt, $2.42 million. Martin Weinberg, $1.95 million. A private investigations firm, $391,699.96.

Meanwhile…

And of course the other incremental invoices to the firm she worked for - bringing the grand total to about $101,000.

She was the only one on the page who had helped run the Justice Department section that would have prosecuted him. Dershowitz couldn’t say that and he got over three million dollars.

No rules were broken

There’s a federal revolving-door law, 18 U.S.C. § 207. It permanently bars a former government lawyer from switching sides on a case they personally worked on, and blocks them for two years from matters under their authority in their final year. Thacker left CEOS in 2006, and nothing in the files shows she touched anything Epstein-related while she was there. So as far as the public record goes, she didn’t break it.

It was the law that let this happen. A former number two of the child exploitation section was able to use her old title as weight behind her legal punch. And for what? For a man her former colleagues were trying to indict.

Not one rule on the books had anything to say about it. How’s that for America?

Her letter was filed in open court on July 8, 2019, two days after Epstein was arrested at Teterboro. It sat on that docket for six and a half years. It went up on the Justice Department’s own website in January 2026. The only person who ever seemed to notice it was Steve Bannon, when Epstein texted him, bragging about it in May 2019.

“Judge on the 4th dca” - “woman.” - “Stephanie Thacker.” Eleven years later, Thacker's letter and her old job fighting sex crimes at the DOJ were a bragging right Jeffrey Epstein liked to show off.

How do we know it was Epstein the DOJ redacted in the texts with Bannon? Because there’s more than one copy of the extraction in the files and they’re redacted differently. In the first screenshot, Bannon is named and the other person is redacted. In the one below, it's the reverse. Same exact message. Same exact date. Same exact time stamp.

Since 2012 Thacker has been deciding these cases herself. She wrote the Fourth Circuit's opinion in United States v. Mills, about a man who made child pornography, and in United States v. Stitz, about a man who distributed it. In McLamb and Seerden she ruled on how far investigators are allowed to go when they go looking for it. That’s fourteen years in the same corner of federal law she once told Washington did not reach Jeffrey Epstein.

And she’s still there.

The Federal Judicial Center lists her as a sitting judge of the Fourth Circuit, 2012 to present. She is in her 60s, the appointment is for life, and she cannot take senior status until 2030 at the earliest.

There is no public record of any senator asking her about the letter. There is no public mention of any committee pulling her paperwork. Nobody has publicly addressed whether she steps aside when one of these appeals lands on her desk.

The Fourth Circuit covers Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina and South Carolina. If someone is charged with a federal child sex crime in any of them, their appeal could be assigned to her.

Earlier this year, WBOY called Thacker's chambers to ask about the Epstein letter. Someone answered and said no comment.

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On August 3, 2026, Trump signed an executive order establishing the “President’s” Military Spouse Commission. I suppose a general “Military Spouse Commission” would’ve left the women feeling too independent - a hint of feminism that shan’t be tolerated. (Every single appointee in this scenario is a man - every single one of their spouses is a woman. Trump & Hegseth made sure of it, as detailed below.)

In the executive order, Trump acknowledged the hardships that military wives face, including employment due to constant relocations. He claimed to have enhanced job opportunities for military spouses in the past - which feels like DEI - but what the fuck do I know?

The order contained a lot of formal jargon, but eventually got to the purpose of it all - which was who would be getting these jobs…

“The spouse of the Secretary of War shall serve as Chair.  The Executive Director of the Commission shall be designated by the President.“

The Secretary of “War,” as we all know, is Pete Hegseth. His current (and third) wife is Jennifer Hegseth. She was, of course, a Fox News producer.

Each of Hegseth’s failed marriages appears to have ended due to infidelity. According to Vanity Fair, Hegseth’s second marriage was to one of the women he cheated on his first wife with. His second marriage ended when he fathered a child with the woman who went on to be his third wife - and will now champion military wives’ quality of life across the entire United States - on behalf of the President.

But sure, it was definitely feminism that destroyed “family values.”

The order goes on to include additional new spousal hires, stating:

“In addition to the Chair, the Commission membership shall include the spouses of the following senior military leaders, if applicable”

What will they be doing?

“developing policies that address challenges faced by military spouses in key areas such as housing, employment, healthcare, education, and deployment-related support”

The EO listed every single military position in which an appointee’s spouse will be given an automatic role…so let’s take a look at who just got handed a new government sponsored gig.

Spoiler alert: Some of these women have already been doing this for decades. Others…well…let’s just say…this got interesting in some unexpected ways.

Secretary of the Army: Daniel P Driscoll

Spouse: Cassie Driscoll

Driscoll has held his position since February of 2025, which kind of feels like a record for a Trump administration. He served 3.5 years in active duty from August 2007 to March 2011 and was deployed to Iraq. Following the military he interned in some political and legal offices before diving into investment banking and venture capital - like every loyal Republican does.

In 2026 following his appointment as Secretary of the Army, Driscoll was swiftly inducted into the Officer Candidate School Hall of Fame. He also managed to serve a year pulling double duty as the acting director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives [ATF] (April 2025-April 2026), because apparently you need absolutely no law enforcement experience to do so.

His wife is a whole-ass plastic surgeon. Good for her.

Secretary of the Navy: Hung Cao

Spouse: April Cao

Hung Cao is actually the “acting” Secretary of the Navy and landed the job less than 5 months ago, back in April 2026. Before Cao it was John Phelan who, according to CNN, took a ride in Epstein’s plane alongside Jean-Luc Brunel back in 2006. Is that why he was voluntold to leave the military position he was unqualified to have? Absolutely not. Apparently he wasn’t building boats fast enough, along with some other mind numbing shit.

April Cao has little to no social media footprint at this point in her life. Everything left on the Internet appears to be old writings about her being an “accidental homeschooler.” Her husband posts on their behalf. Of his accounts I’ve been able to find, none of them appear to follow hers.

Secretary of the Air Force: Troy Meink

Spouse: Jean Meink

Troy has held his position since May 2025. Meink was appointed as Principal Deputy Director of the National Reconnaissance Office back in 2020, where he actually stayed through the remainder of Trump’s first term and the entirety of Biden’s presidency - only leaving to take on his role as Secretary of the Air Force. Prior to that, he served as Deputy Undersecretary of the Air Force for Space under Obama. Meink did in fact have a career in the air force and does appear almost over-qualified to hold his position. One that Elon Musk reportedly pushed pretty hard for.

Meink and his wife met in college and have been together ever since. That’s pretty much all the information there seems to be about her on the entire internet.

Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: Dan Caine

Spouse: Erin Caine

John Daniel Caine has served in his position since April 2025 and is often referred to as “Razin” Caine, because nothing says warrior ethos like a comparison to drive-thru chicken. Caine did a bunch of shit in the Air Force Reserves, most of it involving F-16s, ultimately retiring in 2024. He is the first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to be nominated after retirement, from the reserves, and also the first to not be a four-star general or admiral.

Caine’s life prior to the military is certainly interesting. As any good Republican does, he tried to get a job in banking but nobody would hire him, so he turned to the next best thing - bartending. He did a stint at Fast Eddie’s before taking his skills to the Gingerbread Man - or as Caine likes to call it, “the G-Man” - which he apparently wound up running.

Eventually he joined the Air National Guard and really did do a ton of shit.

From October 2006 to January 2008 he was the policy director for counterterrorism and strategy at the Homeland Security Council.

In 2010, he founded The Caine Group, which is a private equity firm - though,l the descriptors change depending on the outlet. The company’s website is nothing but a logo and the words “Excellence in Every Endeavor.”

According to The Hill, Caine worked for the CIA from 2021 to 2024 - and eventually - and I really want you to drum roll this - he went into venture capital. Namely Ribbit Capital, Thrive Capital, and Shield Capital.

I went searching for any information on his wife, and all I found was this post-divorce filing from 2024. She was not listed as one of the members of the President’s Military Spouse Commission on the official page.

Chief of Staff of the Army: Christopher LaNeve

Spouse: Kimberly LaNeve

LaNeve is actually the acting Chief of Staff of the Army and has been since April 2026, after Pete Hegseth removed General Randy George. Randy George had held the position since 2023, with no help from Tommy Tuberville who originally held up his appointment due to the Defense Department’s stance on abortion. Tuberville was pissed that the military would reimburse service members if they had to travel out of state for reproductive care, if the military moved them to a duty station in a state where abortion had been all but criminalized. General George was one of more than a dozen senior military officers ousted by Hegseth.

LaNeve and his wife appear to have been married since 1991. Prior to their marriage, she was apparently an industrial engineer for Boeing, but anything after that is pretty hard to narrow down. There’s a LinkedIn account for someone with her name, but I’m not going to make assumptions, nor a LinkedIn account. Photos online detail her doing things you’d probably expect the spouse of a high ranking military member to do - so this newly-created position is honestly probably perfect for her.

Commandant of the Marine Corps: Eric Smith

Spouse: Patrisha Smith

General Smith has held his position since September of 2023, once again - not thanks to Tommy Tuberville. His qualifications for the position are extensive, including being Senior Military Assistant to Ash Carter and James Mattis.

General Smith’s wife has been doing military-spouse events for quite some time, and is probably more than qualified for this position…as she has essentially already been doing it.

Chief of Naval Operations: Daryl Caudle

Spouse: Donna Caudle

Admiral Caudle has been in his position since August 2025. He has had an extensive career in the Navy, and is the third Chief of Naval Operations since Trump took office. One month into Trump’s second term, Hegseth removed Lisa Franchetti, the first woman to lead the US Navy or be a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. She had been in her position since November 2023. She was given no explanation for her removal. Following her removal, James Kilby held the position in an acting capacity until Caudle was nominated to take his place.

Daryl’s wife Donna already works with Navy spouses as a CNO spouse advisor.

Chief of Staff of the Air Force: Kenneth Wilsbach

Spouse: Cindy Wilsbach

General Wilsbach has been in his position since November 2025. He was appointed about a month into his transition into retirement.

His wife Cindy appears to be listed as a former member of the USA Freedom Corps during the Bush administration - listing her as “Cynthia (Cindy) Wilsbach.” ProPublica has a listing for “Cynthia Wilsbach” under Trump Town, as a “Senior Writer for Presidential Correspondence.” There was a National War Memorial photo that named Wilsbach’s wife as “Cynthia” but it wouldn’t load, so this USA Today article will have to suffice.

The 2026 White House annual staff report to Congress lists Cynthia C Wilsbach as a Senior Writer for Presidential Correspondence at $74,500 per Annum.

Chief of Space Operations: Bradley Chance Saltzman

Spouse: Jennifer Saltzman

Bradley has held this position since November of 2022, proving that nearly anything is possible, and I’ve yet to determine whether or not that’s a good thing. He is the first Lt General or General officer promoted into the Space Force. His military career originated in the Air Force where he appears to be highly respected.

His wife Jennifer appears to already be doing work within the spousal community of the Space Force, as seen on her Facebook page.

Chief of the National Guard Bureau: Steven Nordhaus

Spouse: Shannon Nordhaus

Nordhaus has held his position since November of 2024, prior to Trump’s second term. He is extremely decorated and appears to have kept a fairly low public profile throughout most of his career - seeing as his digital footprint is minuscule.

His wife’s LinkedIn lists her as a “Homemaker at USAF/Air National Guard.” She, too, has a very small digital footprint.

Commandant of the Coast Guard: Kevin Lunday

Spouse: LyndaLee Lunday

Kevin has held his position since January of 2026. The position was previously held by Linda Fagan, the first woman to ever lead a military service. On January 21, 2025 the Trump administration removed her from her position prior to the fulfillment of her 4-year term. That also made her the first commandant to ever be fired. If you’re noticing a pattern here, you’re paying attention.

For the year prior to his recent promotion, he was the Acting Commandant. There were issues during his nomination regarding policy that labeled nooses and swastikas as “potentially divisive” as opposed to “symbols of hatred.” He agreed to change the wording, ordering a ban of swastikas and nooses, but according to The Washington Post, that order was never implemented. The fact that we live in a world where anyone would fathom softening the language around either, is an absolute fucking embarrassment.

According to Augustana College, his wife LyndaLee is a medical speech language pathologist (SLP).

Sergeant Major of the Army: Michael Weimer

Spouse: Kimberly Weimer

Weimer has held his position since August of 2023. He has an extensive military background, having earned his Green Beret and serving in the Special Forces.

His wife Kimberly appears to do a lot of military-spouse advocacy work focusing on healthcare and quality of life.

Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps: Carlos Ruiz

Spouse: Andrea Ruiz

Ruiz has been in his position since August 2023. He was actually selected for command senior enlisted leader for Space Command, but then was chosen to lead the Marines. He honestly seems like a normal dude who worked hard and built a career for himself in the military.

His wife Andrea honestly seems like kind of a badass. Like many of the others, she already does a lot of work within the military-spouse world.

Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force: John Bentivegna

Spouse: Cathy Bentivegna

Bentivegna has been in his position since September 2023. He started out in the Air Force and quickly focused on space operations, doing a significant amount of what sounds like really complicated shit. His education record is lengthy.

In May 2026 his work Instagram account was hacked by pro-Iran hackers and screenshots were posted to Reddit. It appears he may have been the only one targeted and no one has given any information on how they gained access.

His wife Cathy is a trustee of the Air & Space Forces Aid Society.

Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Chief of the National Guard Bureau: John Raines III

Spouse: Karen Raines

Raines has been in his position since November 2024. Like many of the last few mentioned, he seems to have lived a quiet life while earning himself a decorated military career.

His wife Karen, like many of the other spouses listed above, has spent a considerable amount of time advocating for military spouses.

Senior Enlisted Advisor to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: David Isom

Spouse: Katrina Isom

Isom is the current incumbent and was selected for the position by Dan Caine. Isom is a Navy SEAL with a list of military accomplishments spanning decades.

Earlier this month, his wife Katrina was added to the advisory board of Blue Star Families.

Master Chief Petty Officer of the Coast Guard: Phillip Waldron

Spouse: Krystal Waldron

Waldron has been in his position since July 2025.

Waldron is a somewhat obscure figure, in that he hasn’t really had much public attention in his career, which does appear to have been a decorated one.

Don’t confuse him with Phil Waldron - they are different people.

Waldron’s wife Krystal is also relatively obscure but it appears that she too, has worked to assist military spouses in the Coast Guard.

Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy: John Perryman IV

Spouse: Angie Perryman

Perryman has been in his role since September 2025. Much like Waldron, he does not have much of a digital footprint but does have a lengthy list of military accomplishments.

His wife Angie has spent time advocating for military spouses and veterans.

Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force: David Wolfe

Spouse: Dr. Doniel Wolfe

David has held his position since December 2025. According to Air & Space Forces Magazine, back in January, he and Wilsbach (mentioned above) issued a memo that instructed, in part:

“To security forces: you are expected to set the example by upholding standards and enforcing rules with integrity.”

“At one of our premier bases, Defenders greet patrons with, ‘Good Morning, Sir/Ma’am/General/Chief. Welcome to ____ AFB. Fight’s On!’”

“Every installation should ensure professional greetings are constantly practiced.”

As you can imagine, not everyone felt like this was a swell, neat-o idea.

His wife Doniel is an educator and counselor and has spent a considerable amount of time advocating for improved quality of life within the military.

Secretary of Homeland Security: Markwayne Motherfucking Mullin

Spouse: Christie Mullin

Markwayne fell into his role in March 2026, after the Trump administration finally decided ICE Barbie (Kristi Noem) was too messy in front of the cameras. They wound up creating a job for her doing who knows fuck.

Markwayne’s qualifications? Well he took over his dad’s plumbing business in the late 90s then in 2011, decided it was high time for him to enter politics. He won his 2012 election, entered the House of Representatives, and was somehow reelected every single time until he decided he wanted to become a Senator. He ran following a Republican retirement…and won that shit too. He has had nearly 4 years to impress literally anyone with his vocabulary but that’s one feat he has yet to accomplish.

In 2013 Mullin voted against the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act.

Mullin has voted against raising minimum wage but reportedly had more than $1.4 million in PPP loans forgiven.

Following the ICE shooting of Alex Pretti, Mullin called Pretti a “deranged individual.” He is now in charge of ICE.

Honestly, the man is a walking nightmare and why no woman on this planet should be suffering from imposter syndrome. Oh, and he has absolutely no military experience, whatsoever.

His wife Christie is a Chair of Rural Policy the America First Policy Institute and not a military spouse. That’s honestly all you need to know.

The executive order ensured positions to all of the above, but added room for “other individuals that the Chair or Executive Director may, from time to time, invite to participate.” And it appears this has already happened.

Bonus members

On a new White House page detailing the members of the new Military Spouse Commission, the Executive Director is listed as Hon. Desiree Thompson Sayle - Deputy Assistant to the President.

Sayle has held an enormous number of political positions including (but not limited to) Campaign Manager for John Linder, Correspondence Director for America’s Promise Alliance, and Director of the USA Freedom Corps.

She is married to Stephen Sayle, the Deputy Director for Legislative Affairs at the CDC. The CDC’s writeup about him states that The Hill named him one of Washington’s “Top Electricity Lobbyists.” His new job at the CDC raised some concerns considering his previous work as an executive in the tobacco industry. Because nothing says health like…

I can find no evidence that neither Desiree nor Stephen Sayle ever served in the military. Her bio, however, does state that her father was a 26 year Marine helicopter pilot who flew Marine One for the Nixon Administration.

Additionally, Mary Mahoney appears on the member list even though she is not the spouse of any of the persons holding appointments listed in the order.

Mary is the wife of the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Christopher Mahoney. He has held the position since October 2025.

Mary, like the other long-time military spouses, has experience advocating for military spouses.

Noticeably absent from the White House list of Military Spouse Commission members…is Erin Caine.

Plenty of these women are more than qualified to take on their new roles - they’ve been doing it for decades. None of them are Hegseth’s wife, and the current Executive Director appears to have no experience in the field at all. Allegedly.

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But then we move to the reflecting pool. Now, earlier this week, the DOJ dropped the charges against Olympian. According to a filing obtained by USA Today, Jeanine Pirro told the courts the damage “was the result of flawed installation by the contractor … and the rush to complete the project prior to the events associated with the America 250 celebration in the weeks surrounding Independence Day 2026.”

Trump hates when evidence gets in the way of his rage bait, and decided to make his fury known.

But hey - who are you going to believe? An olympian, the courts, and what everyone witnessed with their own eyes…or an orange 80 year old and his most loyal Faux News host?

Following that debacle, came what can only be described as AI slop, in the form of what many might feel…should trigger a wellness check…if you’re poor…and not on charge of the entire free world.

There’s this shit…where it looks like he’s trying to be some revolutionary general - one his bone spurs never quite let him become.

And then….came the civil war…in gold. Because that’s not alarming at all.

And in case you still thought he was on his Canada or Greenland as a 51st state bullshit, he has moved on to Venezuela. The country he raided, claiming the regime wasn’t legitimate, but left the regime in place after abducting the president and his wife, bringing them to New York, and then never mentioning them again.

Actually just kidding.

He is absolutely still on his Greenland bullshit. Making sure to represent himself as the absolute creep he is.

And it just kept going. Because who the fuck doesn’t tell AI to generate half their face as George Washington on a Saturday afternoon? He left in his nussy, which was a choice.

After showing you that…obviously…he’s half founding father, Trump decided to insult a Texas representative by comparing him to a photo of a fictional character. Wild choice when you will be the evil history compares others to.

Then we get to the alien. Because why not post an AI generated photo of yourself, a sitting president, walking beside a fucking jacked alien in shackles.

And then he brought out gold Jesus, whom he is kissing…while on the cross…in front of an American flag.

Trump followed that up with photos of his favorite taxpayer-funded toys that we can all assume were some kind of silent threat - a presidential nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

Then there was the photo of the recent statue he had covered in literal gold, while stripping the underserved of their SNAP benefits and doubling healthcare costs.

And last but not least…

Trump made sure you remind you - he has no plans to Van-go anywhere. Because republicans didn’t elect a president, they elected a tyrant. And the faster they come to terms with that, the faster we can fix it.

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10:30 (am) - Redacted. NEAT. All I can discern is that the word or name may be 6 letters long.

Also 10:30 (am) - Tonja Haddad and Darren. Darren is likely Darren Indyke, Epstein’s attorney. Tonja appears to also be an attorney based out of Florida. As you can see from the filing below, she was representing Epstein as late as 2017

12:15 (pm) - Larry Delson and Skip Evans.

Larry Delson is/was a professor at NYU where he taught International Trade and marketing.

“Larry Delson” comes up 3,012 times in the Epstein files. “Lawrence Delson” comes up 1,275 times.

In this email, you can see that Larry also has a company called Delson International Inc. You can also see that Epstein's assistant was giving him change of plans updates regarding a meeting at Leon Black's office. Leon Black is a 74 year old billionaire with heavy ties to Epstein.

Skip Evans is a little harder to narrow down. We’re going to go to the database for that one, because I know that when Skip is mentioned, Larry is often mentioned as well, so I’m going to search both of their names together to see if that can narrow down some context files.

Nailed it.

Okay, so those two had a lot of pairings, but the results didn't give me any context as to why. Most of them were scheduling emails, so now I need to narrow it down to just Skip.

We can see he shows up most in 2012, but pops back in around 2016.

Well this is one one hell of a way to pop back in. Couple of things here.

1. The TEFRA division of the IRS was responsible for Tax Equity and Fiscal Responsibility Act rules. Basically partnerships and how audits were done within them. It was repealed in 2018.
2. Financial Trust is likely referring to Financial Trust Company Inc. That’s the Epstein company that had 4,725 wire transfers flagged as suspicious.

If Skip Evans was getting calls from the IRS about Epstein’s sketchy ass company - something tells me he probably played a tax-related role in Epstein’s life. So...lets go back to the database and search “Skip Evans tax.”

Well look at us go.

Oh, okay...so...the "tax committee" is a thing? Do tell...and how are he and Larry Delson connected? I still have questions. Because they were making house calls. And "in person" was an automatic option. Normally, when someone mentioned meeting "in person" it's not suspicious. But when you clearly emailed about everything under the sun, and your life revolves around activities that make prisons weep...it raises an alarm.

OH SHIT. The Alan below is likely Alan Dlugash, which was one of Epstein's tax guys, Brock Pierce (crypto bro) actually asked for a way to connect with him. But, we're on the right track with the tax thing. "FTC" is Financial Trust Company...so we nailed that too.

But back to the schedule…

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So...who was Financial Trust Company in a partnership with? This took forever to put together but I knew this shit would come in handy.

So I found that Delson and Evans shared an office so I tried to pull some SEC paperwork to see if they were incorporated on anything together - and found this gem....where he asked for his import products to be exempt from tariffs back in 2018.

Alright, we're going to have to rest on Skip being some tax dude who is somehow intertwined with Delson. I assume "Skip" is short for something. I tried "skipper" and that didn't help. Christopher Evans was way too broad of a search. If anyone has info on who skip is, let me know.

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6:00 (pm) Dan Ariely appears to have dabbled in damn near everything. He is also a professor, as well as a businessman and author.

Searching “Dan Ariely” in the Epstein files will get you 636 results.

OHHHHH ok. Yeah Epstein donated to the MIT Media Lab.

I don’t like it…

How many fucking Larry's can a guy know?

It kept going…

Noel Biderman was the CEO of the parent company that owned that Ashley Madison site where men cheated on their wives.

Nah....no. Nope.

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6:30 (pm) Jes Staley. This fucking ghoul.

FUUUUUUUUCK YOU.

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Dinner with Gates crew(time?)

So I probably would’ve assumed he was talking about Bill Gates here, but I searched the date with “Gates” over in the database, and it’s actually not. The name in the subject reads “Gates Thorbgorn.”

WAIT A SEONDDDD - my assumption AND the facts appear to have been...possibly correct. Also, it looks like they spelled dude's name wrong. Which is actually so common for these idiot fucks.

Fucking loser…

Meanwhile, America acts like a man having to "step down" from his job is justice.

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And then last but certainly not least: 9:00 (pm) Possibly Wendy Murdoch to stop by (need Ian Osborne to confirm)

Wendy Murdoch is is actually WENDI Murdoch, and was Robert Maxwell’s opp’s 3rd wife. Ghislaine Maxwell’s father’s rival’s 3rd wife. The fucking lore I am tempted to side-track you on, is unhinged. But we don’t have time for that today.

This will give you enough of a running start to keep you googling for the next eleven weeks: You’re going to want to get comfortable. Bring snacks and stay hydrated.

The end.

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That startup is now called Carbyne, and on February 18, 2026, Axon completed its purchase of the company at a $625 million base price, per Axon’s own SEC filings. Axon is the company formerly known as TASER International. It makes the Tasers, it makes the body cameras you see on American police officers, and it runs the evidence cloud where the footage lives. One corporation now touches your emergency call, the dispatch, the officer’s camera, the evidence file, and the less-than-lethal weapon - and the emergency-call piece traces right back to money Jeffrey Epstein structured, on purpose and in writing, seemingly…so his name would never appear anywhere near it.

Every EFTA number below is a document from the DOJ’s Epstein files. I encourage you to click them and read for yourself.

How the deal started

On December 3, 2014, Barak emailed three lawyers to get an investment moving (EFTA01001753). His greeting names them, “Hi Yoel, Darren and Udi.” Yoel Keinan was Reporty’s lawyer. Udi Knaani was Barak’s. And Darren was Darren Indyke, Jeffrey Epstein’s personal lawyer of decades. In a deal, each party at the table brings its own lawyer, so the lineup on this email tells you who each of the parties actually were - the company, Barak, and Epstein. Yet the email itself describes “an investment to be made by EB in Reporty,” roughly 25% of the company plus a director seat for Barak, with the term sheet to come from “EB/ an entity under his control,” and it tells the three of them to “get in touch tomorrow and start to work intensively toward a term sheet.” If the investment was really Barak’s alone, there was no reason for Epstein’s personal lawyer to be one of the three people working intensively on it from day one.

Six days later, Nicole Junkermann sent Indyke a full due-diligence question list for the startup (cc Epstein), asking how hard the technology would be to copy, whether it had been built for the military market, and, in a line that reads differently now, “Reporty has a lot of implications on privacy for individuals and data protection” (EFTA01002368). Indyke forwarded her list to Epstein and asked whether he’d sent it to Barak yet. Epstein passed it along a few hours later. So within a week the actual division of labor was on paper - Junkermann wrote the diligence, Indyke routed it, Epstein connected the pipes, and Barak was the name on the front.

The company’s answers came back on December 13th (EFTA01074432), and this document is a time capsule from (what I can only assume) was before Reporty had a PR department. Asked about its product, the company wrote that “the authorities have the power to control the ‘mass’ in the social network.”

Asked about privacy, it said users could decline to be followed, then added in parentheses, “actually we are checking their position 2 times a day.”

Asked why it hadn’t patented its indoor-location technology, it explained that patents are public and it preferred not to disclose. Its view of its future users, in its own words - “people are voyeurs.”

In December, the pitch was $1.5 million for 25% of the company. By January, Indyke had run the numbers: the whole company was worth $4.5 million (EFTA02512043). And the email breaking all of this down didn't come from Barak's side - it went out from Epstein's own gmail, with Indyke's name signed at the bottom. Barak wrote back calling it "Darren's remarks." Epstein's lawyer did the valuation math on "Barak's" investment.

Under "Track Record," the company named E.B as "a strategic investor for Reporty.” That was written before any of Barak’s investment entities actually existed. He wasn’t recruited into this deal so much as the deal was built around renting his place within it.

Then, on December 17th, Epstein’s longtime assistant Lesley Groff relayed the boss’s instructions on who could join the diligence call with Reporty’s founders. Indyke had asked whether “Je” would participate. Groff’s message back was “Did you see prior email? JE says you and Nicole only?” (EFTA00356793). Jeffrey Epstein, in December 2014, was personally deciding who attended the due diligence for what the world would later be told was Ehud Barak’s investment. The calls became a weekly series with Indyke handling the logistics - he distributed the dial-in numbers, told the scheduler “I will be the leader,” and when Barak sent the next week’s reminder, the question about access codes went to him by name: “Darren, I understand we use the same lines and access codes, is this true?” (EFTA00627775).

And the calls weren't the half of it. On December 24th, Barak forwarded Epstein the startup's first-year forecast and financial model "following yesterday's night discussion," opening with "Thx for your time, attention and advice" and asking to continue over Skype that night (EFTA01201699). Two days later, trying to schedule the next call, Barak asked him "RU in LSJ?" - “LSJ stands for “Little St. James,” Epstein's island - to which Epstein answered "palm beach," then told him to set a time, and closed the thread with "ok" (EFTA01003212).

Whatever this investment was, by Christmas 2014 it ran on late-night strategy sessions and standing calls between a former Prime Minister and a man reachable at either his private island or Palm Beach. Days after that first diligence call, Barak registered a new company in Israel called Ergo.

The structure, and the joke inside of it.

Barak built three Israeli entities to hold the investment. In order of creation, they are Ergo (E.B. 2014) Ltd., company number 515175495, Cogito (E.B.) 2015 Ltd, company number 515228021, and Sum (E.B.) 2015, a limited partnership, corporation number 550260459, which I pulled directly from Israel’s corporate registry. (Note: I included the link to Israel’s corporate registry because that’s where I originally confirmed the companies and want you to be able to do the same if you wish, however, please know the site is not always stable, needs to be translated, and does time-out often. It does seem to function more reliably if you search the company numbers as opposed to the company names - I have also hyperlinked other documentation of the companies.)

“Cogito, ergo, sum” is “I think, therefore I am.” The former Prime Minister of Israel named the structure hiding Jeffrey Epstein’s money after the most famous statement in Western philosophy.

The mechanics are honestly simpler than they look. Sum is the box that holds the startup shares, Ergo manages the box, and Cogito started out owning it.

All three sat at the same Tel Aviv address, and when Ergo and Cogito formed the partnership in April 2015, the total capital they put in was one thousand shekels, which is about $250 USD, per the capital table in the original April 6, 2015 partnership agreement, attached as Schedule B inside (EFTA01093124).

The vehicle built to own a chunk of a “homeland security” company was funded with lunch money, because the real money was already sitting in Ergo’s account at Bank Leumi. It had arrived by wire from St. Thomas on March 16th, a week before anyone signed anything.

A loan that was never a loan

The paperwork caught up on March 23rd, when Ergo signed a promissory note promising to repay Southern Trust the million dollars (EFTA01093124), and the terms of that note are where the whole operation lives.

The interest rate was a whopping 1%, and we know exactly why, because the DOJ files contain an earlier draft of the note with a lawyer's comment written in the text (EFTA01198559).

The draft rate was 3%, and the comment, addressed to "Darren," recommends reducing it "to very close to zero" because of the Israeli taxes that would apply "if and when we will convert it to interest in the LLP." Converting the loan into an ownership stake wasn't a possibility being priced in - it was literally the plan, typed into the draft, before a single document was signed.

The repayment terms give everything else away. Under “Payment Currency,” the note says repayment happens “by a transfer of the Purchased Shares” - the startup stock itself, with cash only as a fallback if both sides agreed.

It was also non-recourse, meaning that if Reporty failed, Southern Trust could only take the shares and Barak owed nothing personally. A lender who carries all the downside and collects the company’s stock on the way up isn’t a lender, he’s a shareholder with a cover story. The note also required that Barak remain “the sole beneficial owner” of Ergo, listed Barak’s death as an event of default, and routed all legal notices to Darren K. Indyke, PLLC, 575 Lexington Avenue, New York. (EFTA01093124)

A same-day pledge put the Reporty shares up as collateral (EFTA01172818).

On March 29th the partnership bought Reporty’s Series A preferred shares, and the signature page is in the files, executed by “Ergo (E.B. 2014) Ltd. on behalf of” a partnership that technically didn’t exist yet (EFTA01116578, EFTA01093124), alongside a shareholders’ rights agreement giving the investor a standing flow of inside information about the company (EFTA01116583).

The closing confirmation went straight to Epstein's lawyer. On March 30th, Barak's counsel wrote to Indyke, "Just to inform you we signed and closed the investment transaction" (EFTA00670642). The day before, in the same chain, an associate had circulated "the signatures pages of Ergo/Ehud Barak" and added "We will ask Ehud to wire the funds according to the wire instructions provided by Amir." Barak's role at closing, described by his own side's lawyers, was moving money on instructions - Epstein's million, already sitting in Ergo's account, now heading into the startup.

And if any doubt remains about who was doing the negotiating, the files contain an email from Epstein himself to Barak, dated March 17, 2015, one day after the wire, under the subject “udi comments” (EFTA00721254). In it, Epstein walks through Barak’s lawyer’s edits to the note point by point. He confirms the interest rate was dropped toward zero for Israeli tax reasons “if the loan is converted to shares.” He notes that the lawyer’s draft let the borrower choose between repaying in Reporty shares or cash, and pushes back with “Shouldn’t a decision to pay in cash instead of Reporty shares require the consent of Lender?” - Jeffrey Epstein, personally insisting on the right to be paid in the startup’s stock. He narrates the whole structure in advance, writing that Ergo “is solely owned by EB and will be the general partner of the LLP that will invest in Reporty” and that the note “will be Automatically assigned to the LLP.” In point 5, pushing back on one-way trust from Barak’s side, he describes “your company, which has already funded $1MM to a newly formed entity without any signed documentation.” His company. Already funded. No signed documentation. The money-before-paperwork sequence, stated by the investor himself, in a contemporaneous email, the day after his million landed in Tel Aviv.

Then, at 8:40 that evening, Epstein himself, verbatim, typos and all: "i sent the money, let do it tomoror if ok Im on the plane." Barak, an hour later: "Thx a lot. It reached us."

By spring 2015 it was complete. Epstein’s million, wired from the Virgin Islands, sat inside an Israeli box named after Descartes, holding a piece of a company that was building far more than an emergency app. Per its own diligence answers, Reporty could locate a smartphone indoors to within one meter with no special hardware, was assembling a crowd-built worldwide database of labeled indoor locations it called the holy grail of the field, checked users' positions twice a day, streamed live video from their phones, and had deliberately declined to patent its location algorithm so the capability would stay undisclosed. That is what Epstein bought a hidden piece of, and his name appeared on none of it. The startup's own co-founder, Pinchas Buchris, later told Haaretz that as far as the company knew, the money was Barak's. From inside Reporty, the concealment worked perfectly.

The second investor was already in the room

On December 1, 2015, Barak’s Israeli lawyer emailed Indyke with a deadline. Under the purchase agreement, the partnership owed Reporty another $500,000 by the end of January 2016 (EFTA00839668), and if no outside investor materialized, Southern Trust itself was on the hook for that exact amount - section 3.1 of the conversion agreement has Southern "irrevocably undertak[ing]" to fund it (EFTA01124027). Epstein forwarded the deadline email to Junkermann the same day with the note “i think it is good with good timing.” She asked whether he had any objection to her contacting the company directly, and his complete reply was “no please do” (EFTA00839630).

The conversion came on January 27, 2016. Epstein's "loan" became ownership, with Southern Trust taking 50% of the partnership and 100% of its preferred rights, per the conversion agreement and its Schedule D ownership table (EFTA01093124). Preferred rights means that if/when money ever comes out of the box, Epstein gets repaid first, with 5% interest, before anyone else sees a shekel, and then takes half the remaining profit. The files even contain the marked-up draft of the conversion agreement with the tracked changes visible (EFTA01124027) - edits moving money and control toward Epstein's side. Somebody negotiated hard for a passive investor.

Two weeks after that, on February 11, 2016, Montilla International Corporation, Junkermann's British Virgin Islands company, signed on for exactly $500,000 - and that same day, Barak emailed her an invitation to Reporty's Advisory Board (EFTA00810711, EFTA02474299 - the DOJ did an absolute ass job trying to hide who sent the email).

Papers in and a board invitation out - all in the same day. (She was listed as a director on Carbyne's website until 2020, however, the CEO told Forbes she was never a board member and the listing was a marketing-team mistake.)

That same day Barak also sent Epstein and Junkermann the CEO's monthly report, and buried in his cover note is the sentence that settles, in real time, how the concealment actually worked: "Please note that neither Amir nor Buchris are fully aware of your partnership with me." He follows it with "In the meantime feel free to pass through me any remarks you might have" (EFTA02704699). The chairman was telling the hidden investor, which of the company's own founders didn't know he existed, and offering himself as the channel for the hidden investor's input. When Buchris told Haaretz years later that as far as the company knew the money was Barak's, it doesn’t look like he was covering for anyone. He was describing an arrangement Barak put in writing.

Four days after that, Junkermann confirmed the acceptance of her new position to Barak and Epstein, writing "Delighted to be part of the team now, and tedious paperwork behind us! The funds should be with you tmr." She then mapped out her priorities for the company - the Uber and Microsoft opportunities among them, and noting that "from 'our' narrow perspective" the key was how far the company could advance before the warrants expired (EFTA00680244). And those were her quotation marks around "our," not mine.

The “warrants” she’s referring to, came with the 2015 share purchase. A warrant is a price freeze - the right to buy a set number of additional shares later at a price fixed at the start of your investment. On its own that's worth nothing special. It only becomes a bargain if the company grows past that frozen price - you know…how big Reporty can get before the freeze expires.

For the record, Junkermann had been inside this deal’s diligence since December 2014 at Epstein’s specific direction, which tracks - an investor who’d been at the table for a year, committed the exact sum, in the exact window, that erased Epstein’s own $500K obligation, with his written blessing. According to the Telegraph, her spokesperson said Epstein deceived and misled her and she “deeply regrets” their personal and professional conversations. The emails above are her own. Nothing beyond what's on these pages should be attributed to her..

Epstein signs

The final partnership agreement needed one more signature in June 2016, and Indyke’s email to Barak’s lawyers on June 10th removes any remaining ambiguity about whose signature that was. He wrote that he’d been “only able to speak with JE about it last night” and was waiting on a redline of “the amended and restated partnership agreement for Sum (E.B) that JE is being asked to sign” (EFTA00822259). Not Southern Trust the corporation. JE, the person, on the phone with his lawyer, reviewing the deal.

The executed agreement, dated June 30, 2016 (EFTA00810711), is the master file of the entire affair. Its ownership table splits the partnership exactly down the middle, with Barak’s Cogito and Ergo holding 50% and the Epstein side holding the other 50% (Southern Trust at 33.33% and Montilla at 16.67%), matching their million and half-million to the decimal. Section 4 states the partnership’s sole purpose, which is holding shares of Reporty. And section 12 says that if Barak ever stops being the sole owner of the manager company, the majority holder of the preferred rights - Southern Trust - gets to replace the manager. The contract Barak signed says that if Barak leaves, Epstein’s company picks his successor. Nobody writes that clause for a silent partner. You write it for the boss.

Running the company from the cc line

For the next three years, the company's confidential paperwork flowed to Epstein like a subscription, and the subscription started early. Its monthly shareholder reports, each stamped "This Report is classified and isn't transferable," sit in his files for August 2015 - when his money was still, on paper, nothing but a “loan” - and then for February 2016, March 2016, and December 2016. The March report shows a bank balance with a $500,000 line, weeks after Montilla's dollars arrived. Under financial highlights, read "Chief Scientists: We received - 489,102 Nis." That’s grant money from Israel's Office of the Chief Scientist, the government's startup-funding arm, which is routine for an Israeli startup and means state funding and concealed Epstein money shared one small balance sheet.

Board minutes from December 2015 are in his files too (EFTA01074544), and that document pairs with another to show the delivery chain working. The minutes list the directors present, Elichai, Dizengoff, Barak, and Buchris. Thirteen days later, Barak forwarded those same minutes to Junkermann and to Epstein (EFTA02676269). Buchris sat in the boardroom, then - the paperwork from his own meeting traveled through Barak, to the investor Barak would soon note, Buchris wasn't fully aware of.

In April 2017 Barak forwarded the investor report personally, with the note "Hag Same'ach [Happy Holiday] Jeff. Looking forward for our next meeting" (EFTA00631912), and in January 2018 another arrived that read, "Please have a look. Seems to move on very well" (EFTA01013926). A man with no board seat, no disclosed shares, and no official existence anywhere near this company received its board-level paperwork for years.

One week in July 2017 shows how the arrangement worked in action. On the 17th, Junkermann, by then an investor advising the company, emailed Barak about the next fundraise and where to put the company’s European subsidiary - Epstein was cc’d. She suggested “getting Carlo Slim’s [sic] company on board in the Latin American subsidiary,” and on Europe, where Elichai was considering Cyprus, her advice was “Cyprus is raising eyebrows so I would propose Luxembourg” (EFTA02355293). Hours later Epstein weighed in, and I want you to savor this sentence from the man whose own money in this company was routed through the Virgin Islands into a Latin-named Israeli shell. “I agree. the israeli trick of using cyprus to avoid taxes is silly antiquated and dangerous” (full chain at EFTA00640254).

The next day Barak reported back to the group with, “I ordered AE to stop all steps re the Cyprus co.” AE is Amir Elichai, the CEO. A week after that, the actual board met in Tel Aviv and, per the signed minutes, “rejected the formation of a new Cyprus subsidiary as a European base.” On August 7th Junkermann emailed those exact signed minutes to Barak and Epstein (EFTA01038557). Board member proposes, Epstein concurs, the former Prime Minister orders the CEO, the board ratifies, and the paper goes to the hidden investor, all in 21 days.

As for the Carlos Slim suggestion, he never shows up as an owner of anything here, but 15 months after that email, the company, which by then had renamed itself Carbyne (more on that in a minute), announced its Latin America partnership with Global Hitss, a subsidiary of América Móvil, which is Carlos Slim's company. Whether one caused the other, the documents don't say.

The rebrand and Peter Thiel

In early 2018, Reporty Homeland Security renamed itself Carbyne, shedding the words “Homeland Security” right as it started courting American cities and American venture capital money. Regular readers have seen this before - the names in Epstein’s financial universe get friendlier as the scrutiny gets tighter.

The American money arrived on schedule, and the DOJ files contain the entire day it started: May 21, 2018, four emails, one thread (EFTA02656963). It opens that morning with an investor named Chris Hopkins introducing Elichai to Trae Stephens of Founders Fund, Peter Thiel's venture firm: "Nicole and I thought that Trae Stephens at Founders Fund would be a good person for you to discuss Carbyne's progress to date with," adding, "Given Trae's background at Palantir, we figured there would be a fair amount of serendipity." Palantir…being the data-surveillance company Thiel co-founded, and Nicole being the only Nicole anywhere in this story. Elichai responds with his pitch. Stephens answers later that day with, "[dropping Chris and Nicole to bcc and adding my colleagues Kevin, Elena, and Stacy to the thread]," then tells Elichai that he and his partner Kevin Hartz "have spent quite a bit of time talking about next-gen 911, so this is super interesting to us." At 5:12 that evening, the entire thread is forwarded to Epstein, cc Barak, under a cover note reading "Dear both, We made the connection to Founders Forum from Peter Thiel. (see below) If you want to put in a word with Peter maybe :)."

Epstein did put in a word. That same day he emailed Peter Thiel directly, and the entire message was one line: "FYI trae is meeting carbyne Ehud Barak co" (EFTA01052344).

Months later, Founders Fund joined Carbyne's Series B, the fund's first Israeli investment ever. How much weight a personal FYI from Jeffrey Epstein carried with Thiel, is anyone’s guess. That he was asked to put in a word, and did, within hours, is not.

Over the years Carbyne’s investor list and advisory board collected Michael Chertoff, the former U.S. Homeland Security Secretary, and Andrew Intrater, cousin of a sanctioned Russian oligarch. Neither man is accused of anything here. For a small foreign startup selling 911 software, it is simply a remarkable amount of national-security royalty on one cap table, and it tells you what kind of company this was built to be.

2019

The last year of Epstein’s life produced the most quotable documents in the entire file.

On January 1, 2019, Barak emailed a Qatari royal he addressed as "Jabor Al Thani,” cc Epstein, pitching Carbyne for security at the 2022 World Cup. He described Carbyne as a “public safety company of which I’m the chairman and leading investor” and offered that “We can work through a European company of your choice and minimize Israeli profile” (EFTA02607775). By February the CEO himself was on the thread, still cc Epstein, as the Qatari side connected them with a local partner (EFTA02628761). An Israeli security company offering a Gulf monarchy a European wrapper to hide where its product comes from, with Jeffrey Epstein copied on the negotiation, is getting its own piece here soon.

On February 18, 2019, in the middle of an exchange with Epstein about a China-related deal, Junkermann wrote out the internal accounting of their Carbyne position. In her own words: “Carbyne invested 1.5m (1m you and 0.5m me)” (EFTA02630779). One million, you. If four years of wire memos and partnership agreements somehow hadn’t settled whose million it was, here is the co-investor typing it out in an email.

And then there's March. The warrants (shares) paperwork moved through the whole syndicate that week. On March 9th, with documents circulating among Epstein, Junkermann, and Barak - the chairman signed off "Hi J&N, I'm sure it'll be all ok" (EFTA01030782).

And this wasn't paper-shuffling. Sum was exercising its warrants - 61,251 preferred shares for $3.5 million plus expenses - and on March 11, Barak's lawyer confirmed "the requested fund ($3.6m) were received" in Ergo's account - $2.4 million of it Southern Trust's, $1.2 million from Junkermann's renamed company (EFTA02634615). The exercise roughly doubled Sum's stake in Carbyne, from about 13% to about 26% fully diluted.

That paperwork required identifying the controlling person of Southern Trust…you know…the actual human behind the company, and Epstein evidently hesitated, because on March 11th Barak sent him this: "That's the Israeli banks paranoia after they paid the penalties they've paid to the US authorities for past mistakes. According to our experience it was never leaked out of the banks. Just kept with them as an insurance policy. We have to follow on it. On a minimal but satisfying base" (EFTA02632339).

The former Prime Minister of Israel, reassuring Jeffrey Epstein that his name would stay inside the bank's own files, and coaching him to disclose as little as he could get away with. Then, on March 12th through 14th, Indyke closed the loop under the subject line "Re: Carbyne warrants" (EFTA02634615), asking, "Am I correct that by your 'ok' you mean that I may confirm that you are the controlling person of the STC?" Meaning, may he give Epstein's name and citizenship to Barak's lawyer? Epstein's complete reply, less than four months before his arrest…was one word. “Yes”

Every soft phrase ever printed about this arrangement, “a firm linked to Epstein,” “Barak’s business partner,” “a passive stake,” dies against that word, in his own email, released by the United States government. But the email thread holds one more ghost. Indyke mentions that “Stewart Oldfield is trying to find out what kind of letter he can get for us,” and Oldfield, per Fortune's reporting on the DOJ files, was Epstein's Deutsche Bank wealth director - the banker who kept his accounts open months after the bank claimed to have cut him off and who was later terminated over diligence failures for "a particular client." Deutsche had told Epstein in writing, in December 2018, that it was done with him, and his accounts spent 2019 winding down. Regulators later flagged reference letters a Deutsche banker drafted for him that July. So in March, the man being shown the door by his own bank was shopping for whatever letter it would still write him.

Come July 6, 2019, federal agents arrested Epstein as he stepped off his private jet at Teterboro Airport.

Barak told reporters he was looking into removing the Epstein-connected entity from the partnership, and when Haaretz first asked him about Sum, his answer was that “I saw a business opportunity and registered a partnership under my control in Israel,” with “a small number of people I know” invested, whose identities it would be “inappropriate and wrong” to reveal. Inappropriate and wrong…for whom? He has consistently maintained the investment was legal, reported, and taxed, and no document contradicts him on that. It should also be noted that no one has been charged with any crime over any of it.

Epstein died in his cell on August 10th. Whether Southern Trust’s stake was ever actually bought out is a question nobody has answered, and it now has a $625 million price tag attached, which is where we’re headed next.

The Taser company

Carbyne thrived without its dead, hidden investor. It raised well over a hundred million dollars, put its software into 911 centers across the United States, and became Google’s delivery partner for Android’s Emergency Location Service to call centers across Mexico, which within months covered 11 states and sixty million people. Carbyne is not inside your phone, but when an Android in Mexico dials for help, its location data reaches the dispatcher through Carbyne’s pipe. The company’s own marketing describes live video from callers’ phones, integration with city camera networks, and a future of emergency response it calls “proactive, preemptive.” The 2014 diligence answers said the quiet version, and the 2025 brochure says the polished one.

Then…Axon Enterprise (formerly Taser International) came shopping. It had previously purchased Prepared, another 911 startup backed by Andreessen Horowitz and Google’s AI fund, Gradient Ventures, for $728.2 million per Axon’s SEC filings - then led Carbyne’s $100 million round in August 2025, taking about 11% of the company. Axon announced the full acquisition on November 4th and closed it on February 18, 2026. Axon paid roughly $549.7 million in cash at closing for the roughly 89% it didn't already own, against the $625 million base price.

Axon's own letter to shareholders explains the prize in its own numbers: The combined system will cut high-priority response times "from seven to ten minutes to as little as 120 seconds," and the two 911 deals add "$5 billion to a market opportunity now exceeding $74 billion" inside what Axon calls its "$159 billion total addressable market." The road into America's emergency calls was privatized by a handful of Silicon Valley funds, including Thiel's, and sold to the company that makes the Tasers - a company that values the territory it's assembling at $159 billion.

If your instinct says a company like Axon must be careful with power, here is one data point. In 2022, nine of the twelve members of Axon's own AI ethics board resigned after the CEO announced plans for Taser-armed drones in schools, over the board's objections. Axon paused the drones. The nine never came back.

A shareholder, the Nathan Cummings Foundation, asked Axon to disclose its political contributions; expenditures, recipients and amounts included. Axon's lawyers argued the request would micromanage the company, and on February 10, 2026, the SEC staff agreed not to object to burying the proposal, "based solely on that representation," under a streamlined process that now takes companies at their word. With that, the foundation sued in D.C. federal court on February 17th, one day before the Carbyne closing. Three weeks later, Axon settled, agreeing to annual public disclosure of its political-spending policies and certain contributions for the next five years. The transparency it told the SEC would micromanage it, turned out…under the lukewarm pressure of an actual lawsuit, to be perfectly manageable after all.

But they’re not out of the legal whirlpool just yet. The Carbyne sale itself is also in court, with a minority shareholder suing in Tel Aviv over roughly $20 million in founder bonuses and about $40 million in Axon shares - that it says - created a conflict of interest. Those are allegations in a live case, they’re not findings, and for the record, the founders will have their say.

Who gets paid

Here’s what the record supports, and what it doesn’t.

Epstein doesn’t run Carbyne from beyond the grave. His documented position was a concealed stake bought in two rounds: The $1.5 million entry - his million and the half-million he green-lit - and Southern Trust's $2.4 million share of the March 2019 warrant exercise, in a company that went on to raise a hundred times his entry cost.

A convicted sex offender helped pick a surveillance-adjacent company’s investors, received its classified monthly reports and signed board minutes, weighed in on its corporate structure, and personally messaged Peter Thiel on its behalf, while appearing on zero of its official records, and every mechanism involved was legal. Lawyers drafted it, a bank’s compliance department ran its callback checklist on the wire and ticked every box. If Jeffrey Epstein could sit invisibly inside a company selling access to 911 systems for five years, the honest question is - who else is sitting inside what right now, with better lawyers and no arrest prompting the release of a trove of documents?

And someone…somewhere…has to have collected. Money moved when the deal closed in February, and the Intercap lawsuit says even unwilling minority holders were effectively forced to sell - which means every shareholder of record got paid out, whoever they were.

So the obvious question is whether Epstein’s estate was one of them.

Epstein's side held 50% of Sum - Southern Trust with a third of the partnership and two-thirds of its first-money-out preferred rights - as late as March 2019, which is what the "Carbyne warrants" email was about. Barak said in July 2019 he’d look into removing the Epstein entity. And then, on the record to Forbes this February, CEO Amir Elichai said that Epstein's estate "did not keep any company stock" and that Barak "no longer has a stake in the business."

Taking that at face value, the estate collected nothing from the $625 million. However, face value is not the same as a paper trail, and the public one has a gap.

Nobody has shown the document that moved Southern Trust's stake out - when it happened, at what price, or to whom. The estate's own probate inventory, filed weeks after Epstein's death, lists $194,986,301 in hedge fund and private equity investments without itemizing a single one, and its co-executors are Richard Kahn and Darren Indyke - the same lawyer who helped build this house of cards. That doesn’t offer much in the way of confidence.

Elichai's word settles what the company says or believes - it doesn't produce the transfer deed. So where we’re at is…the CEO says the estate holds nothing, and the registries that would prove exactly how and when that became true, are Israel's partnership file for Sum, the Virgin Islands probate accountings, and/or the Tel Aviv lawsuit's cap-table disclosures - I'm working on going through all three. The side-quest that took me on is a whole separate article for another day.

The men who built this structure were betting that nobody would ever read the paperwork, and for six years they were right. But...then the files came out, and now the paperwork is the story, this story, including countless screenshots of signed and stamped documents running in a straight line - from a phone call “JE” curated in December 2014 to a $625 million payout that cleared in February 2026, long after Epstein’s death.

All EFTA documents are from the DOJ release at justice.gov/epstein. Israeli registry numbers, Sum 550260459, Ergo 515175495, Cogito 515228021, Reporty/Carbyne 515106409. Outside reporting credited inline. Everything hyperlinked so you can read the documents for yourself.

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Buy a feral b*tch a coffee

Every major federal agency has an Inspector General (IG). That’s an investigator who works inside the agency, digs into fraud, waste and abuse, and reports what they find to Congress. There are usually around 74 of them at any given time and they serve as a kind of Internal Affairs for the federal government.

Because an investigator planted inside the agency they’re investigating is an awkward arrangement, Congress built in a referee, which is the Council of the Inspectors General on Integrity and Efficiency (CIGIE). It coordinates the watchdogs, trains their staff, runs the public website where their reports are posted, and handles complaints when one of the watchdogs is accused of misconduct.

Well…this week, the House Oversight Committee voted to abolish it and move its jobs to the White House budget office.

That office is officially called the Office of Management and Budget and reports directly to the president. It also happens to be run by Trump ally Russell Vought - the man who spent the fall of 2025 freezing $11 billion in infrastructure money during the shutdown.

Basically, the referee gets fired and the owners of the favored team get to decide what’s really a foul. If that concerns you, you’re paying attention. But it gets worse…

The actual bill, H.R. 9725, was introduced on July 16, 2026 by Rep. Clay Higgins, a Louisiana Republican. Six days later the committee met to vote on it.

Except…they didn’t vote on it. Chairman James Comer offered what’s called an “amendment in the nature of a substitute,” which is Congress-jargon for trashing the bill and swapping in a different one with the same number. That is the text that actually passed.

The footer on that substitute reads July 20, 2026, 8:13 pm. It was drafted on a Monday night, two days before the Wednesday vote. It was posted publicly the following morning, July 21, at 9:35 am. So this wasn't some last minute mad-dash.

Let’s go ahead and compare the two side-by-side.

The original: "The Comptroller General of the United States shall develop standards for the offices of the Inspectors General to conduct inspections."

The substitute: "The Director of the Office of Management and Budget shall develop standards for the offices of the Inspectors General to conduct inspections."

The Comptroller General runs the Government Accountability Office, or GAO, which is Congress’s own auditing section. It’s a legislative branch agency, purposefully independent of the president - by design.

The replacement is the president’s budget director.

The substitute also does something the original never mentioned. It hands oversight.gov to the budget office. That’s the website where every federal watchdog publishes its reports to the public - the transparency brigade. Under the new text, the budget office establishes and maintains it, and every watchdog office must publish its findings there “in a manner prescribed by the Director of the Office of Management and Budget."

Congress wrote that website into law twice, and once explicitly as a resource sitting within the independent council. It would belong to the White House, along with the power to dictate how findings appear on it.

But it doesn’t end there - stick with me here…

The CARES Act, the $2 trillion COVID relief law from March 2020, created the Pandemic Response Accountability Committee to chase down fraud in pandemic spending. Section 15010 of that law says two things very plainly:

“There is established within the Council the Pandemic Response Accountability Committee…”

“The Chairperson of the Committee shall be selected by the Chairperson of the Council…”

Paragraph 18 of Comer's substitute rewrites that section. In subsection (b), it strikes "Council" and inserts "Executive Branch." In subsection (c)(1), it strikes "Chairperson of the Council" and inserts "President." And in subsection (e)(3)(D), it strikes the words "within the Council" - the clause tying oversight.gov to the independent body.

That was a lot of words to say: The panel that investigates pandemic relief fraud moves into the executive branch, and the president gets to pick who runs it.

If that panel were some batch of leftovers from 2020 heading out the door, this would be housekeeping - but it isn’t. The One Big Beautiful Bill Act, Public Law 119-21, pushed the committee’s expiration from September 2025 out to September 30, 2034 and expanded its jurisdiction to cover programs funded by that same law. Nextgov reported it also received $88 million.

It is very much still alive. Its site posted new fraud cases on July 21, just two days ago. It filed a report to Congress in June. The committee’s analysts flagged $79 billion in suspect pandemic applications tied to questionable Social Security numbers, and its risk model helped recover $262 million in improper payments.

Why am I telling you this? Because Congress funded a fraud investigation unit for another nine years, gave it authority over spending in the president’s signature legislation, and this bill puts the president in charge of choosing its leader.

But there’s more.

They’re justifying this move with an audit. Neither its findings nor recommendations, support the argument.

In September 2024, the Oversight Committee asked the Government Accountability Office (GAO) to review how CIGIE’s Integrity Committee handles misconduct complaints against watchdogs. The GAO delivered their findings in May and released it publicly on June 15, 2026.

Government Executive reports that Higgins was one of the Republicans who requested that review. So the man who asked for the audit is the man who wrote the bill citing the audit.

To be fair, the findings are genuinely concerning. From fiscal 2021 through early fiscal 2025 the committee took in 16,245 complaints and opened 460 cases.

The committee missed deadlines at two different stages.

The first is the amount of time between a complaint arriving and the committee deciding whether or not to investigate it. The committee’s own rules set deadlines along the way.

Members have a set window to review a case file, then the case is supposed to be presented at the next meeting, staff lawyers are expected to finish their written analysis before members vote, and once a decision is made, the letters carrying it out are supposed to go out on time. Only 24 percent of cases met every one of those deadlines.

The second is the investigation itself. Federal law gives the committee 150 days to finish one. The GAO examined five completed investigations - none of which were completed in time. The fastest took 427 days. The slowest took 1,246 days, which is more than three years, if we’re counting.

And when investigations ran past the legal deadline, Congress didn’t always get the notice it was owed.

Recusals were also an issue. They weren’t always put in writing, meaning there’s no paper trail showing whether members with a conflict of interest stepped back from cases they shouldn’t have touched.

That’s a legitimate mess, and nobody should pretend otherwise. So, let’s look at the GAO’s proposed solution. It made eight recommendations, each one addressed to the CIGIE chair:

1. Have a lawyer review complaints the staff wants to discard as frivolous, and put the conclusion in writing.

2. Meet your own deadlines.

3. Document everything required in case summaries, including recusals.

4. Track whether you’re meeting the 30-day requirement to update Congress on open investigations.

5. Supervise the watchdog offices carrying out your investigations, including making them file monthly status updates.

6. Require those offices to itemize what they bill you - labor rates, hours worked, other costs.

7. Document your review and approval of those bills.

8. Make final reports state a determination on every allegation, distinguish partial from full substantiation, and explain in detail when you disagree with the office that did the investigating.

Not one of those recommends abolishing anything nor does it ever mention the budget office. And the last line of the GAO’s own summary notes that CIGIE agreed with the recommendations and even planned actions to implement them.

The diagnosis was late paperwork. The newly prescribed treatment that nobody asked for, is to ignore the doctor and transfer the whole operation to the incinerator.

Comer’s stated reasoning? “CIGIE has ballooned into a bureaucratic mess that seeks to expand its power rather than do the job it was created to do.” Higgins went a step further though, saying “Maybe CIGIE was born of good intentions, but it has operated and come to be recognized clearly as a weaponized government entity.”

A Republican Oversight Committee aide put the reasoning more bluntly to Government Executive, saying “the inspectors general cannot be trusted to investigate wrongdoing in their ranks,” and that ending the Integrity Committee and moving CIGIE’s core functions, was necessary to restore trust.

I think it’s important to note here, exactly which body they named. The Integrity Committee is the panel that recommended firing Cuffari.

The council Higgins wants abolished is currently chaired by Cheryl Mason - a woman who worked on Trump’s 2024 presidential transition team, then served as senior adviser to Veterans Affairs Secretary Doug Collins, then was nominated by Trump to be inspector general of that same department. The Senate confirmed her 53 to 45 on a party-line vote in July 2025. The watchdog she replaced, Michael Missal, was one of the people fired in the January purge, and a plaintiff in the lawsuit over it. Her fellow Inspectors General elected her to lead the council in March 2026.

Mason also wrote the official response that was attached to the GAO audit. She agreed with every single one of the eight recommendations.

So if we’re to actually entertain Higgins’ claim, we’d have to believe that a Trump appointee runs an allegedly weaponized council...against Republicans. He didn’t think that one through, but we need to move on to the other bad news…

Within CIGIE sits the Integrity Committee - the panel that investigates accusations against Inspectors General themselves. For more than three years it had been investigating Joseph Cuffari, the Homeland Security inspector general appointed during Trump’s first term, over allegations that he retaliated against whistleblowers in his own office.

In June 2024, the panel sent Cuffari a draft of its report. In August, Comer wrote asking for Cuffari’s comments on it.

In September 2024, the Oversight Committee asked the Government Accountability Office to audit the Integrity Committee.

In October 2024, the panel delivered its findings to the White House.

It concluded that Cuffari had engaged in conduct undermining the independence or integrity reasonably expected of his position. It substantiated the claim that he abused his authority and committed a gross waste of funds by spending roughly $1.4 million in taxpayer money on a private law firm to run what the panel called a retaliatory investigation of employees who had blown the whistle on him.

It found that his answers to Congress across a span of years were “incomplete, inaccurate, or evasive,” including inaccurate statements to the Senate during his own confirmation, where he failed to disclose that he had retired from a previous watchdog office while under investigation.

The panel recommended the President take action "up to and including removal."

The investigation behind those findings was conducted for the panel by a Trump-appointed Inspector General of the Transportation Department. A Trump appointee investigated a Trump appointee and recommended he be fired.

Because everything above is so absurd, the order of events might get lost in the abyss, so let’s just rehash them real quick. The chairman sought a draft report finding misconduct by a Trump appointee. One month later, his committee ordered an audit of the panel that wrote it. One month after that, the panel formally recommended the appointee's removal.

And by the way…Cuffari is still in office.

In fact, in all of his glory, Cuffari and one of his senior attorneys went so far as to sue the Integrity Committee twice, arguing among other things that it is unconstitutionally structured.

At the July 22 markup of H.R. 9725, Higgins said the Integrity Committee “has operated in a manner contrary to the constitution for a long time.” (A “markup” is the meeting where a committee edits and votes on a bill.)

That is the argument from Cuffari's lawsuits, surfacing in a House committee markup two years later, attached to a bill that finishes the job.

None of this was an opening act and we absolutely could have seen it coming because over a year ago, on January 24, 2025, eighteen Inspectors General were fired in one night. A letter signed by 38 senators named the agencies they were fired from: Defense, State, Education, Transportation, Veterans Affairs, Housing and Urban Development, Interior, Energy, Commerce, Agriculture, Labor, Health and Human Services, Treasury, the Environmental Protection Agency, the Office of Personnel Management, the Small Business Administration, the Social Security Administration, and the office overseeing Afghanistan reconstruction. Independent tallies from Cato (a libertarian outfit), and Public Citizen (a progressive one), both put the running total at 21 fired or forced out.

For comparison - Obama removed one and Biden removed one. If I’m correct on the math here, that’s two total across two presidents and three terms.

Something that gets glossed over or skipped in a lot of the coverage of the firings - is that a president cannot simply fire an Inspector General. At least, you can’t when laws are enforced. You see, Congress built a process, and then built it again when the first version proved to be way too easy to ignore.

Federal law states the president may remove an inspector general, but only after notifying both houses of Congress in writing (at least 30 days beforehand), with the “substantive rationale, including detailed and case-specific reasons” for the removal. The 30-day notice requirement came from a 2008 reform law. The demand that the explanation actually be detailed and specific, as opposed to some fill-in-the-blank form letter, was added in 2022. That same law also bars a president from sidelining a watchdog during that 30-day window unless he formally finds the person is a threat.

Nevertheless, the Trump administration didn’t seem to care.

Four days after the firings, Senators Chuck Grassley (an Iowa Republican) and Dick Durbin (an Illinois Democrat), wrote the president jointly to point out that the legally required notice and case-specific reasons for the removals, had not been provided, and to demand them. And it should be noted - Grassley is not a man with a history of picking fights with Republican presidents.

Eight of the fired watchdogs wound up suing in federal court. On September 24, 2025, U.S. District Judge Ana Reyes ruled that the firings violated the Inspector General Act. Though, she didn’t reinstate them. Her reasoning was that any reinstatement would be temporary because the president could simply fire them again after following the notice rules properly the second time around.

The bottom line here is that a federal court found the law was broken. The consequence? Absolutely nothing.

To add insult to injury, following the mass firings - the budget office cut off CIGIE’s funding for about six weeks. They only backed down after Senate Republicans objected.

The committee approved the bill 23 to 20, straight down party lines. Every Republican present voted aye, every Democrat voted no. The roll call sheet still carries the old title - the "Act of 2025."

A committee memo sent to members on July 17 summarized the bill by telling them the Comptroller General would set inspection standards. A few lines below that summary, under "Amendments," it says only: "The Chairman will offer an ANS." Members got a description of text that was already slated for replacement, and no description of what would replace it. Comer's substitute was drafted three days later. The vote was two days after that.

Then there's the document the committee posted for its own members to read.

On the markup page for July 22, 2026, there is a PDF file named BILLS-119HR9725ih. I took a screenshot because they’re going to scramble to fix it after someone in the office reads this.

In House filing convention, "ih" means “introduced in House.” Clicking on the PDF should lead you to the bill Higgins introduced on July 16, 2026 - but it doesn’t. Instead, you get this.

The document they linked is marked 119th Congress, First Session. That's 2025. The bill number is blank, printed as "H. R. __." There's an empty line for a member's signature and another blank where the committee referral belongs. The short title includes "Act of 2025." Every page carries a date-stamp of May 8, 2025, 9:42 a.m.

That right there, is a finished, signature-ready draft that was written four months after the mass firings and never introduced. It sat for fourteen months. And it’s what the committee filed in the folder for a 2026 markup, under the filename of a bill that says 2026 on its face.

It also explains some title confusion. The committee's memo and its press release both call this the "Act of 2025." The bill Higgins actually introduced says 2026. They were working from the old file.

Here’s what that costs. Government Executive published at 6:00 am on the morning of the vote, linking the bill file from the committee’s own markup page and reporting that Congress’s auditor would set inspection standards for the watchdogs.

That was accurate as of the document on file. It stopped being true hours later, when the committee adopted a substitute handing that job to the White House budget office instead. The story hasn’t been updated.

This isn’t a knock on the reporter at all. He linked the document the committee posted, and the committee posted a draft from 2025. That’s the problem.

For what it’s worth, this isn’t law yet. It has to pass the full House, then the Senate, then get signed. And when Senate Republicans objected to the budget office defunding CIGIE last year, the administration backed down. That’s the same chamber this bill has to clear. Call your representatives and let them know they cannot let this happen.

The people who wrote and passed this bill will tell you it’s all about accountability. That you should take them at their word and follow it. The accountability now runs to the president, who selects the investigators, sets their standards, controls their website, and picks the chair of the unit auditing his own spending law.

There’s a word for a system where the investigated appoint the investigators - and it has nothing to do with democracy.

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Congress is about to leave for a month-long paid vacation, so naturally, they tried to pass everything the light has ever touched today.

Here's what your ever-disappointing federal government actually did in the last few days.

Not a Bill: Four fallen service members came home. Then the president flew to a campaign-scented rally.

Trump spent Wednesday morning at Dover Air Force Base for the dignified transfer of four service members killed in the war with Iran. Their names are 1st Lt. Tyler James Feehan, Staff Sgt. Michael Emmanuel Swinton, Sgt. Angel S. Rampersad, and Pvt. Isabella Gonzales. Three of them were killed in an Iranian strike on a US base in Jordan on July 17; a fourth died in Iraq.

That brings the total number of reported US service members killed in the war in Iran to 18, with roughly 500 wounded. This was Trump's third dignified transfer since the war started - at the first, he wore a white U.S.A. hat he sells in his merch store.

The families were devastated - Trump headed off to an ego-rally.

By 3 pm Trump was on stage at a high school in Marietta, Georgia - where, per ABC News, he claimed the fallen soldiers said "we cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon." Because Trump wants you to believe he has actually spoken to any of the service members who have died in his war.

He previously claimed the families of fallen service members told him to “please, please sir, finish the job.” This time, he appeared to be quoting all of the fallen, themselves.

Trump also vowed to strike an Iranian bridge or power plant every time Tehran hits a ship in the Strait of Hormuz. Just an FYI - deliberately targeting civilian infrastructure violates the laws of war. Bridges and power plants are only lawful targets when they serve a military function, and announcing retributive strikes on them is textbook collective punishment.

The war in Iran’s price tag: $37.5 billion…so far.

During a Senate Appropriations hearing Tuesday, testosterone-hungry-Hegseth put the cost of the Iran war at $37.5 billion - a horrifying number and one experts told CNN likely undershoots the real one.

The White House is now asking for an $87.6 billion supplemental, $67.1 billion of it for defense…to keep the war going…and another $1.5 trillion for the Pentagon’s next fiscal year.

Democrats asked the very logical question - why the Pentagon needs a tril-and-a-half when it still has $75 billion left over from last year's reconciliation. Hegseth's answer, per Stars and Stripes, was essentially not to worry, they’d have it all spent by September. An argument that’s never work led for any loan, ever.

A war that Congress never declared is now costing more per month than most federal agencies get in a year.

That’s the sound of your taxes weeping and dignity waving from afar.

The House passed a $1.15 trillion defense bill - with a voting bill taped to the back

Wednesday, the House passed the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) - the annual must-pass defense policy bill - it went through 216-212, with six Democrats joining Republicans. This is a bill that normally sails through with fairly large bipartisan majorities, but this one barely scraped by. Democrats (most of them) refused to co-sign a war they can't get any answers about.

Now, Before the House votes on any big bill, it first votes on a “rule.” Essentially the instructions that determine how the bill will be debated, what can be attached to it, and what members are allowed to vote on separately. If you control the rule, you can control the outcome.

Tuesday, Republicans passed a rule (214-211, with Thomas Massie being the lone Republican “no”) with a bit of a trick built in: Once the NDAA passes, the SAVE America Act - their fuckshit proof-of-citizenship-to-register, ID-to-vote bill that can’t pass on its own - automatically gets merged into it before it’s sent to the Senate. Yeah, you heard that fucking correctly.

No separate debate. No standalone vote. A voting-restrictions bill, stapled to the entire military’s whole-ass paycheck. Sounds a little psychopathically extorty to me, but what do I know… (I am aware that’s not a word.)

The House also kept Section 219 in the bill over bipartisan objections. It’s a provision directing the Pentagon to integrate US military technology and supply chains with Israel's. Massie noted that no separate debate or vote was allowed on it.

Hours later, the House approved the $95 billion "Reconciliation 3.0" framework, 216-214. That’s the blueprint that lets Republicans bypass the Senate filibuster. Inside of it, per Breaking Defense, $60 billion for defense, $13 billion for intelligence, $12 billion for agriculture, and $10 billion to implement the voting restrictions. Offsets included: Absolutely nothing. The fiscal conservative vultures complained in coordinated theatre, then most of them got in line like the orange sheep they are and voted yes anyway.

The "stock trading ban" passed, but you should read the fine print.

The House passed the Stop Insider Trading Act Wednesday, 232-198, with 13 Democrats joining every single Republican. Sounds a little historic, eh? It's the first time a full chamber has voted to restrict lawmaker stock trading, but let’s talk about that fine print.

Members, spouses, and dependent children can't buy new publicly traded stocks while they’re in office - but everyone is able to keep the stocks they already own. They’re also still able to sell them, as long as they give seven days' public notice. All the portfolios built on years of suspiciously well-timed trades? Totally grandfathered in. Conveniently, the bill does not extend to the president or vice president. Because why would anyone hold the literal “leader(s) of the free world” to an equal standard?

Oh, and leadership attached a voter-ID provision from the SAVE Act, which Democrats called a poison pill - Rep. Joe Morelle said, "This bill, quite simply, is a sham." The entire government is. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Over $1 billion in Medicaid: Frozen. Like Elsa frozen.

HHS Secretary RFK Jr. and CMS (Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services) clown Mehmet Oz, announced the administration is deferring $867 million in Medicaid payments to California and $200 million to Minnesota. They claim money is being held back while federal officials review claims of fraud. Medicaid fraud is not new and ironically, in a report from 2022, Texas led the country in total dollars of Medicaid Fraud - by DOUBLE the number two.

This definitely has nothing to do with Trump’s beef with Newsom and Walz.

Immigration: Expansion plans and courtroom losses

Per Time, via Democracy Now, the Trump administration is planning to expand immigrant detention across more than a dozen locations - including the U.S. Virgin Islands (we’re SHOCKED) and Guantánamo Bay (we’re SHOCKKKEDDD). All of this, as ICE posts record setting arrest numbers for June - the majority of those targeted having no criminal record.

Meanwhile, Epstein and the Tate Brothers.

The courts pushed back on two fronts. A federal judge in Texas barred DHS from deporting a key witness in the ICE killing of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, the 52-year-old father killed by an agent in Houston on July 7. Frankly, even attempting to deport a witness should be considered witness tampering.

Another federal judge blocked the Trump administration from revoking work permits for immigrants with Temporary Protected Status (TPS), which is a legal designation for people from countries deemed unsafe for them to return to.

The EEOC stops counting

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) - the federal agency that enforces workplace discrimination law - ended its requirement that employers collect demographic data on their employees.

That data is how anyone pays attention to whether or not a company is only hiring unqualified white dudes because they’re racist as fuck. If the data doesn’t exist, the racism doesn’t exist - when you really like racism. In the same way Covid doesn’t exist if you stop testing for it and hunger isn’t an issue if you stop doing food insecurity surveys.

Everything else worth knowing

• Trump called Sen. Jon Ossoff - "Peewee Herman" [The Hill]

• The Georgia ego-rally doubled as an advertisement for "Trump Accounts" - which definitely makes them look less sketchy. According to the Boston Globe, some parents say the money still hasn't arrived. Nobody ever saw that coming.

• The House passed a stopgap funding bill, 220-205, keeping the government funded through December 4th - conveniently past the midterms. Senate Majority Leader John Thune says he'll hold the House's budget resolution until government funding is settled.

• Gas is back above $4 a gallon nationally, per AAA.

Anything the house can’t cram in, in the final hours, gets crammed in when they return - I’ll do another update when the circus gets back in town.

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Everything below comes from documents anyone can read: A 183-page court filing in Palm Beach County, Florida - filed in a lawsuit the Tates started against one of their accusers, which is how her allegations, the Romanian victims’ testimony, and his own course transcripts all ended up preserved in one public record - the Romanian indictment from DIICOT, Romania’s organized-crime directorate - a UK court ruling on their money - and the BBC’s File on 4 transcript, which played the course audio on national radio. Quotes from the Tates are their own recorded words. Quotes from the women are testimony and allegations preserved in those records. Keep track of which is which. It will not make you feel better.

Part One - the D.C. party, the Marshals, the extradition - is here.

The basics

In an interview that aired on BBC, Andrew Tate described his work as a “little webcam business.” Initially, he says it started in his apartment but it “just grew and grew and grew, and it got to the point where at one point I had 75 women working for me in four locations, and I was doing $600,000 a month from webcam.”

On the Full Send Podcast quoted in the Palm Beach filing [Page 41], Andrew Tate said (out loud): “It’s essentially girls talking, flirting, stripping, sometimes performing sex acts, etc, always with themselves. It’s solo stuff to guys across the internet, who are paying upwards of $4 $5 per minute for the pleasure of watching these women. Now of course, this is not something that everybody is completely okay with, nor do I care if they are or want them to be.”

From the mechanics, to the operations, the players, watchers, and “security” - one thing is clear. The Tates’ business was an organized operation designed to benefit the men at the top.

So let’s walk through it…

Why he chose Romania

Why did two British-American kickboxers move their business to Bucharest, Romania? According to Andrew Tate, on camera, and preserved forever in a court filing [Page 60] - he liked eastern Europe “because corruption is far more accessible.” He framed the move around the #MeToo era, saying (with his whole chest) “I am not a rapist, but I like the idea of being able to do what I want. I like being free,” adding “if she goes to the Romanian police and says ‘He raped me yesterday,’ they’ll say ok, do you have evidence? Is there CCTV proof?”

That right there is called jurisdiction shopping - not for tax rates, but for the odds that a woman reporting rape is going to be believed. According to the court filing, Tate deleted the evidence of that statement in February 2022, two months before Romanian police first raided the house.

What human trafficking is

Before we go any further, we need to talk about the actual definition of human trafficking, because way too often, people assume there has to be some wild element like kidnapping, chains, or shipping containers. It doesn’t. Under the UN’s Palermo Protocol trafficking has three key elements: An act (recruiting, transporting, harboring or receiving a person), a means (abduction, threat, force, coercion, deception, abuse of power or abuse of vulnerability), and a purpose (exploitation, including sexual exploitation, forced labor, slavery, servitude, or the removal of organs). (That last one is definitely a jump-scare, but for what it’s worth, there will be no further mentions of organ removal in this piece. Unfortunately, it will still be horrific.)

Remember these, and check them off accordingly, as I walk you through the Tate Brothers’ endeavors.

The act: Recruitment by romance

The Tates sold a course called PhD - which stood for, and I’m being 100% serious here - “Pimping Hoes Degree.” The goal of the program? To teach men how to recruit women into “webcam work.” Additionally, Andrew published the recruitment guide on a site called PickupArtistTools.com - because shame went wherever dignity did. Thankfully, the BBC obtained the audio. His method, in his voice, is as follows: "I don't mention webcam until after I've had sex with the girl. If you're on dates and you try and mention it and shit, it just doesn't work, it puts them off - ‘I'd never do that, that's disgusting; I'm not a whore.' It's just not going to work."

He never led with the the ultimate goal - which was to have these women work for him. He convinced them he cared about them first. The work angle was revealed only once the woman was attached.

“Then you start mentioning things like, ‘Yeah, but, you know, you’re always busy, you’re always at work. You can come and work for me,’” Tate says. Adding “As I said, you cannot try and approach girls to do webcam. So, you don’t want a girl who is in it for money; you want a girl who’s in it to be with you.” On Page 17 of the Romanian indictment, Andrew is quoted as saying “When we started, the girls worked for me because they loved me, right? That's the old-school way of being a pimp, isn't it?”

Anti-trafficking investigators have a name for this approach, and its called the “loverboy method” or “Romeo pimping.” While probably self-explanatory, I’m going to explain it anyway - it’s a recruitment technique where a trafficker manufactures a romantic relationship, then converts devotion into labor. The court filing lays the method on pages 60–61, alleging “This perfectly encapsulates the methods THE TATE BROTHERS not only publicly admitted to using, as explained above, but taught other men to use for a fee.”

That last part deserves a Pulitzer. This filing isn’t just arguing that the Tates are a danger to women - it’s arguing that they’re also a danger to the women that come into contact with the men who idolize and patronize the brothers.

The woman the Tates are suing (you read that correctly) describes her own recruitment on page 168. She alleges Tristan identified her as young and vulnerable, then played on those vulnerabilities to create an emotional connection. Jane Doe shared with Tristan that she’d lost someone she cared about to suicide, and he claimed to be able to relate. However, according to the filing, while likely still in Jane Doe’s presence, Tristan shared the details of her vulnerable moment with Andrew - evident by him allegedly mocking her about it the following morning.

Jane Doe reportedly shared something painfully personal with one brother, only for the other brother to weaponize that information against her, less than 24 hours later.

The means: Coercion doesn’t need a lock or chains

Coercion is where a lot of people’s understanding of trafficking (or even abuse) fails them. They imagine bars on windows, some kind of locked basement or underground bunker. Real coercion is quieter, cheaper, and more effective at greater rates. The record shows exactly what coercion looked like inside of this particular operation.

Let’s start with the schedule. In Andrew’s own words on a podcast, preserved on page 41, he described making his “girlfriends” work fifteen to sixteen hours a day, and waking them after two hours of sleep to work some more. Sleep deprivation is a documented control technique. The University of Worcester actually published an 118 page dissertation on it in 2021. It is immediately effective and degrades judgment, resistance, and the capacity to plan an exit.

Then you have the money. In a quote, preserved verbatim in the UK court ruling, Andrew Tate, on camera, explained his pay structure, saying: “Tax is also another important element for controlling your woman...tell your girl that you’re paying the tax because girls are lazy and girls are stupid and girls don’t understand how taxes work...I used to pay my girls 30 percent, so for every ten thousand dollars they made I’d give them three and I’d keep seven. They thought they were on fifty percent and I said that the disparity was because of taxes.”

The fucker said it himself - it’s “another important element for controlling your woman.” And to be clear here - he was simply using “taxes” as his catch-all lie to cover for why an additional 20% of their income was missing. Because according to a court filing, this human thumb wasn’t paying taxes anywhere. A British court found the brothers ran £21 million through their businesses while registered for tax…in no country on Earth - an act the ruling calls a “deliberate and dishonest cheat of the revenue.”

Tristan Tate took it a step further, quoted on Page 8 of the Romanian indictment as saying: “Primarily, I’m going to work these b****es like slaves, and I don’t want to write down the MFC score much. So when they stop performing well on MFC (note: a video chat site) or stagnate, or after they finish the video chat... after all... all tokens can be taken out of the room, I’m going to change (inaudible) and make them work more hours, and hours and hours... I work them like slaves...”

And then…came the threats. Trafficking law says coercion includes “abuse of power or vulnerability,” and page 81 of the filing quotes the testimony Romanian prosecutors took from the women. One victim described what refusing cost her, saying: “Whenever I refused to do something he asked, he reminded me that he would tell my parents. So, out of fear that my parents would find out, I always accepted any of his demands.”

That threat wasn’t a physical lock or a chain - it was a threat to her relationship with her family. The people she had outside of the hell she was living in. The people she might want to escape to. That’s a prime example of what “coercion” looks like in an indictment, and why “the door wasn’t locked” isn’t a reasonable argument.

But it got worse. When threats needed muscle behind them, the operation had that too. The Romanian indictment describes a WhatsApp group - named, with the subtlety no one will accuse these men of possessing - “PROXENEȚI.” That’s literally the Romanian word for PIMPS. The indictment describes the structure the group's messages evidenced, noting: “The criminal group conceived by the defendants Tate Tristan and Tate III Emory Andrew fully corresponds to the previous allegations, namely that both defendants had the role of recruiting individuals who were later transported and housed in residences in Romania and the UK. Subsequently, defendants Naghel Georgiana and Radu Luana intervened, with the role of supervising and coordinating the entire exploitation activity.”

Naghel’s background is somewhat difficult to pin down, but it looks like she’s most known for modeling and social influencing. She was also rumored to have been in a relationship with Andrew Tate at some point, however…after reading these court documents…it seems as though nearly every woman in his orbit was under the impression they were someone special to him. Though, he claims to have only slept with “5 or 6” of them [Page 18]. Most importantly though, she is a defendant charged with trafficking in the Romanian case.

Radu, on the other hand, is a different beast entirely. Radu Luana wasn’t just some social media influencer or model, running webcam operations for the Tates - she was a former Romanian police officer. Judging by the following text from Radu to Tristan, documented in the court filing [Page 42-43], it looks like Radu used what she learned in the police academy, to their advantage: “She came to the door with two police officers accompanying her / and said she wanted to take her personal belongings / I went to the door and told her that she needed a warrant to enter the house / a search warrant = a house inspection order / from the prosecuting attorney, it’s a criminal case / I asked her: do you have a warrant? No? Go back with the necessary papers. / The police can only enter the house if it’s a criminal case / and a prosecutor will never open a criminal case / for a prostitute. Never / so I explained to the police what she was doing. That she was living in this house. And that we were helping her without any benefit.”

Can you imagine trying to escape a situation, knowing the woman put in charge of your exploitation was a former cop…who went through the police academy with the cops who’d respond to your call for help? It looks like one woman lived exactly that hell - Radu texted Tristan to let him know, “They kicked her out of the police station after they came to our door.” Tristan’s response? “Hahaha.”

But the organization didn’t just have Radu. The indictment also alleges [Page 28], “The locations where the victims were housed were guarded by armed individuals, former law enforcement officers who received sums of money from the defendants, through witness AMT.” Though, later statements from witness AMT indicate that the guards may have worked for an unnamed security company [Page 74].

Witness AMT is described in the document as being one of Tristan’s assistants [Page 32], “responsible for the procurement and money transfers for the defendants” [Page 73] and “a very tough person.”

Alleged victim “GEA” reported being greeted at Andrews property by 2 armed guards who opened the gate. An immediate visual that sends a strong message without ever making a sound.

The violence

Warning: This section describes sexual violence. It's in the piece because it's in the charges.

In a court filing, on Page 168, Jane Doe alleges that Tristan Tate “used his massive size and strength during a sexual encounter, by choking her until she went unconscious and proceeding to have sex with her unconscious body.” Documenting a separate incident on Page 113, the filing alleges: “She ended up having bruises on her neck from where Tristan Tate strangled her. Later when Jane Doe brought it up, Tristan reportedly acknowledged that she went unconscious saying in a WhatsApp message, “I remember when you passed out.”

Two things about those allegations, because they’re the kind of thing people only learn when a case like this forces them to. One: a person who is unconscious cannot consent - period. That is not a gray area in any statute anywhere. Second: Non-fatal strangulation is not treated by investigators as just another form of assault. Researchers consider it one of the strongest known predictors that an abuser will eventually kill, which is why England and Wales made it a standalone criminal offence in 2022.

According to the Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention, a woman who has suffered a non-fatal strangulation by an intimate partner is 750% more likely to be killed by that same perpetrator.

Additional examples of alleged sexual violence found in the above filing and additional Tate-related court filings include the following:

(Note: Neither Tristan nor Andrew Tate has been convicted of any of the following and both deny everything, everywhere, all the time.)

Tristan Tate & Andrew Tate v Jane Doe, June Doe & John Doe [Jane Doe’s Counter claim]: “Three women in the U.K. separately reported ANDREW TATE to U.K. authorities for rape and physical abuse in 2014 and 2015.30 The U.K. prosecutors declined to prosecute in 2019 and the women are now suing civilly.31 The civil suit “claim(s) Tate choked them until blood vessels burst in their eyes, beat them with a belt, raped them numerous times and coercively controlled them.”

Tristan Tate & Andrew Tate v Jane Doe, June Doe & John Doe [Jane Doe’s Counter claim]: “Anna (not her real name) told [the BBC] she went out with Andrew Tate in Luton in 2013. After a few dates, she says she went back to his house. ‘He started kissing me... and he just looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘I’m just debating whether I should rape you or not. Out of the blue he just grabbed me by the throat, smashed me to the back of the bed, strangling me extremely hard. Anna says he then raped her.” This allegation is further detailed in BBC’s reporting which contains additional allegations from additional women.

Tristan Tate & Andrew Tate v Jane Doe, June Doe & John Doe [Jane Doe’s Counter Claim]: “On March 30, 2021, the Romanian police authorities were informed that during November 2020 a minor “was recruited by the “loverboy” method by the defendant [TRISTAN TATE] for the purpose of exploitation by inducing her to practice prostitution.” On April 7, 2021, the complaint was registered with DIICOT, Romania’s organized crime unit currently prosecuting the Tate Brothers for human trafficking. This is one year prior to the April 2022 raid, involving Jane Doe.”

Romanian Indictment: “victim A.U has requested that the defendant Tate III Emory Andrew be held criminally responsible for the crime of rape, both for the act committed on xxx xx, 2022, at the xxx, and for the act committed on xxx xx, 2022, at xxx.”

Romanian Indictment: “The defendant Tate III Emory Andrew told the victim A.U, "Go to the room," as xxx and the defendant Tate Tristan were present. Subsequently, the defendant Tate III Emory Andrew followed the victim A.U and told her that first he would rape her, and then they would talk.”

Romanian Indictment: “defendant Tate Andrew Emory was investigated by the authorities in the United Kingdom for offenses against the person and offenses related to sexual life, being detained on xxx xx, 2015, for allegedly raping a female person at his place of residence in xxx, involving physical aggression against her. Furthermore, the victim stated that she was in a relationship with Tate Andrew Emory, who strangled her on various occasions, especially during sexual intercourse between the two, causing her injuries.”

Romanian Indictment: “Between xxx 1 and xxx xx, 2015, at the address in xxx, Tate Andrew Emory allegedly raped a female person. The victim stated that she was sitting on a bed with the aforementioned individual when he became verbally aggressive towards her, later putting his hand around her throat, strangling her, and ordering her to masturbate him. Then, the defendant Tate Emory Andrew engaged in sexual intercourse with the victim without her consent.”

Romanian Indictment: “Regarding the events of xxx 20, 2022, when the defendant Tate Emory Andrew asked the victim A.U to go to the xxx in Bucharest with witnesses IP and Angel BGA, where the victim was raped, it was established that the defendant Tate Emory Andrew was in the building located at the above-mentioned address and left the building at around 21:50 with his personal vehicle (see photos no. 67-73).”

The purpose: The money, followed

Trafficking, at the end of the very, very dark day, is a business to the world’s most inhumane. The entire reason the exploitation exists, is to generate money - which is why any investigator is going to follow it closely. This operation’s ledger got audited by a British court and the findings were damning.

The UK ruling traced nearly $12 million that moved through an account in the name of a third party, the court refers to as “J.” Someone who, per the ruling, confirmed she is not the beneficial owner of the funds. The judge found: “The use of J was to hide the fact that the money was connected to the respondent brothers.” (That’s the money laundering side of trafficking. Revenue has to be explained if you want to do anything with it, and explaining that you run an illicit operation, isn’t an option - therefore, the money has to either appear legit or hide somewhere. The Tates weren’t trying to appear legit - that would go against their brand…so…the money needed a good hiding spot. Nominee accounts - real people’s names wrapped around someone else’s money - are a common answer to that problem.)

That same ruling also shows what the money became: A £689,971 Bugatti, a $644,464 Lamborghini, an Aston Martin, a McLaren, a £1.37 million property in Dubai, and rent on two Romanian properties the ruling describes as “connected to the modern slavery allegations.” [Page 21]

In the middle of those seven-figure money flows, were two entries that tell you everything about who was truly benefitting from all of this. Credits moving through the brothers’ accounts from the “webcam activities” of two women who are complainants in the Romanian case: $375 and $1,752. The women’s work, in three-to-four-figure increments. Just one of his cars cost £689,971. The ruling also notes Andrew transferring exactly £100 to another complainant. One hundred pounds.

As for the customers funding it all? They weren’t even talking to the women they thought they were. The operation’s “typing system,” trained others to answer the private messages of the models. The “typing system” (that’s literally what these uninspired bitch boys titled it) is taught in the courses they sold [Page 43]. Because apparently catfishing lonely men is a proprietary and ground-breaking idea.

The most insane part of the whole keyboard epiphany, was when Andrew (according to the Romanian Indictment) said this: “I trained these girls, and we got to the point where it was easier if I wrote,” adding “I was behind the screen talking to the men, saying the right things and starting to make money on the internet.” The indictment goes on to quote him, saying" “I stood there and typed; I typed about 16-17 hours a day, but I made about 4,000 a day. /.../ For about 3 months, I was typing, typing until the girls learned, and once the girls learned, they could do it on their own.” [Page 17]

Page 24 of the Romanian indictment, quotes Andrew saying: “So, you have a notepad in the corner where you can write instructions for the girl. Your computer is connected to hers. So, you can type in the instruction box, or you can pretend to type. She will go to her laptop like this and pretend to type, and you will actually respond to the guys. /.../ So, by typing instead of the girl, you make more money, and at the same time, she will think she needs you, which is extremely important. Later on, I reached the point where I hired girls to type. So, I didn't have to type anymore. So, I hired girls to sit and type and pretend to be the girls. So, I had girls online."

In summary, if you’re a sackless, lonely Tate defender and you found him through his webcam “business” - there’s a chance you were messaging sweet nothings with him - and not the woman on the other end of the camera. I love that so much for you.

The system defends itself

What happens to people who talk?

According to Andrew Tate himself, [page 167] of the Palm Beach filing: “I don’t care if it costs me a million dollars to take $1,000 out of your bank. You are gonna be in court twice a month for the rest of your human years. I don’t care. I will sue you for any and every reason forever. And you’re gonna have to hire lawyers and turn up for ever. I will do that. I’m that guy. I’m petty. I’m petty and I’ve got a lot of money and a lot of time.”

That’s not some idle threat, it’s actually the origin story of the document this article is built on - Andrew and Tristan sued an accuser, and her response put everything on the record.

But frankly, the courtroom is only the first layer of the operation’s defense system. The second is even uglier. Romania’s second case, opened in August 2024, charges the brothers with influencing statements (witness tampering), which is the criminal-code version of the same goal the lawsuits serve - Making it too expensive for anyone to talk. That’s made exponentially easier when they’re only given 30% of their income. (see it coming full circle yet?)

The third layer is the story - not necessarily the real one - but the one they choose. The one they share publicly, in the places they have the most influence, and with the people who hold the most power. In every country, the brothers’ defense runs on a single, offensively absurd narrative - that they got famous, feminists got angry, and prosecutors just followed the mob.

It couldn’t possibly be for literally every single thing we’ve spoken about thus far. But idiots buy it. Men who want to be like the Tate brothers, who for some horrifying reason, see themselves in the ghouls - go to bat for them in every arena. Social media is crawling with Tate apologists, claiming the brothers are victims of misandry, women looking for their 15 seconds of fame, and even the victims of some purported “political witch hunt.”

This shouldn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it anyway: Women despise these chinless cretins for being the exact shitbags they are. No woman gets “famous” or receives any kind of positive notoriety from speaking out against the abuses of powerful men. See exhibit: Presidency. And it goes without saying that neither of these foul-shaped mouth-breathers is a politician. Though, they do have alarmingly close ties to figures within the Trump Administration. See part One for those details.

What it took to get here

In 2019, per the BBC, Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service reviewed rape allegations made against Andrew Tate - and declined to pursue them. The women were there, the recordings were there, the courses were still on sale - and nothing. Even when women do the hard thing and choose to speak out - they’re all too often, screaming into the void - Begging for anyone to stop their monster, before he becomes someone else’s.

Seven years and an immeasurable amount of “untouchable” confidence later: The brothers are facing a combined 59 charges, spanning the years from 2010 to 2017. Seven alleged victims, including - on Andrew’s sheet alone - 19 counts relating to “indecent images of a child and extreme pornography.”

So that’s what it took: Two Romanian cases, a UK forfeiture ruling, a federal extradition proceeding in Miami - and we still don’t know if the current US administration is going to honor that extradition. There’s a genuine concern there, due to the fact that the administration making the decision is the same one that allegedly facilitated the Tates’ extraction from Romania and the return of their devices from federal law enforcement.

The brothers deny every allegation in every country, ever. But the record above isn’t merely built on any one person’s word against theirs. It’s also built on their words - the ones they recorded and sold - later subpoenaed, translated, and ruled upon - sitting next to the testimony of women who describe living inside the hell those words built.

The courses were deleted, the “corruption” quote disappeared - but court records live forever.

Part Three coming soon: The casinos - who the Tates went into business with in Romania, what “all my friends are mafiosos” actually referred to, and the organized-crime empire nobody in the American media seems to want to touch.

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On the evening of Saturday, July 18, the US Marshals Service arrested Andrew and Tristan Tate in Miami, outside the James L. Knight Center, on their way to a bare-knuckle boxing event Andrew was scheduled to co-host with former UFC champion, Jon Jones.

The same day, Britain's Crown Prosecution Service announced it wants the brothers extradited on charges alleging, in part, that they raped and trafficked women between 2010 and 2017.

Three days before the handcuffs met their newest mates, though? Things were looking different - some might even say - the most different things have ever looked. Bigly.

Why? Because the Tate brothers had been busy, being toasted in Washington, DC.

Paolo Zampolli - President Trump's Special Envoy for Global Partnerships, the former modeling agent whose company sponsored Melania's visa and who introduced her to Donald Trump in the '90s - confirmed the week's itinerary to the Daily Mail himself.

Tuesday: Ned's Club, the members-only hangout near the White House where cabinet officials go to be seen - where, per the Sydney Morning Herald, some members complained to management about the brothers' presence.

Wednesday, July 15: A summer soirée for roughly 150 guests at his Northwest D.C. home. Somewhere in between - a photo op in Rep. Wesley Hunt's congressional office.

Asked whether any of this was connected to his taxpayer-funded State Department role, Zampolli said of course not, it was just a summer gathering - the Tates were here on business. Because that definitely cleared up the concern.

Tate’s lawyer Joseph McBride gushed to the Daily Mail, that people in both parties, essentially can’t get enough of the brothers - inviting them to all sorts of “interesting events.” Because apparently they’re just too influential to ignore. (Note: McBride famously represented several January 6 defendants. According to Our Quad Cities, he has also posted photos of himself on the beach at Mar-a-Lago, and at Trump’s 2024 campaign announcement party.)

Whether you believe that or not - the truth remains, that a taxpayer-funded envoy personally escorted two men facing rape and trafficking charges on two continents through the US Capital's most exclusive rooms. Then, within days, the government that appointed Zampolli, arrested them for a foreign ally.

If you're wondering what they'd been up to before Washington - you know, in case anyone could’ve seen this coming - the brothers’ own feeds documented the journey. (Note: Is it possible the following photos were taken on dates other than the ones they were posted on? Sure. But we’re working with their own posts and their own photos, on the days they were posted publicly.)

July 7: Posing at the tables of a casino resort in Northern Cyprus, a favorite territory of Russian Oligarchs looking to hide their money and avoid sanctions.

July 11: chess on a Moscow rooftop, captioned "Checking Queens in Moscow." They really did the transition work for me, with that one.

July 14: A video tour of a 75%-finished, 41-meter superyacht Emory (Andrew Tate) calls "the new yacht Obsidian Blade.”

And here's a receipt worth framing: The broker's own announcement shows, Project Obsidian Blade was sold via cryptocurrency (The preferred legal tender to the law-abiding - obviously), to an unnamed buyer, through a Monaco broker, on February 24, 2025. Three days later, a Romanian court handed the brothers their passports - they then boarded a private jet headed to their safe-haven: Florida.

July 15: OOP. The ghouls arrive in DC, trolling the Capitol plaza. Northern Cyprus to Moscow to a Trump envoy's garden party, inside a single week - all while facing 59 charges.

I made sure to screenshot it all, since posts like these have a tendency to disappear after an arrest.

If you're equal parts pissed and confused, good. You should be. That means you're paying attention, and at the very least - a moderately decent person.

To even begin to try and understand how we got here - we need to go back to the beginning - briefly - because the beginning is an entire series, and this is Part One.

Who these men are, in a few paragraphs

Andrew Tate, 39, and Tristan, 38, are British-American former kickboxers who made their first fortune running “webcam studios” out of Luton, England - a business Andrew has described, on camera, incessantly, in courses he sold, as built on women he was dating handing him their money. His words. Recorded. Preserved in court filings. We'll spend all of Part Two in those transcripts, and I promise you're not ready - I’m not ready and I’ve already read them.

The brothers moved to Romania around 2016, opened gambling venues with some unfathomable business partners (that's another Part), and rebranded as the internet's loudest life coaches for teenage boys (you’re right, that’s fucking weird) - selling courses on getting rich and controlling women, to hundreds of thousands of paying subscribers (because controlling yourself for free, is apparently asking too much).

In December 2022, Romanian anti-organized-crime prosecutors arrested the fuckers. A London court later found, in a civil tax ruling you can read yourself, that they ran £21 million through their businesses without registering to pay tax anywhere on the planet - a scheme the Chief Magistrate of England and Wales called a "straightforward cheat." They deny everything. Everywhere. Always.

The luggage they were carrying when the party started

By this spring, the brothers were dragging three separate criminal matters behind them like a Bugatti towing a U-Haul full of Proud Boys.

Romania, case one. The 2023 indictment: human trafficking, rape (Andrew), forming an organized criminal group. In December 2024, a Romanian court sent that indictment back to prosecutors. The AP reported a judge found the case could not go to trial “because of various legal and procedural irregularities tied to the prosecution.” The ruling didn’t end the case, it just put the onus back on investigators. Now, “Stalled” does not equate to innocent - but the brothers' feed treats a bounced indictment like a total vindication…as often as humanly possible.

Romania, case two. A DIICOT (Directorate for Investigating Organized Crime & Terrorism) investigation, opened with dawn raids in August 2024. The allegations: Human trafficking including minors, sex with a minor, money laundering, and witness tampering, spanning 2014 to 2024. 34 identified victims, roughly $2.8 million kept by the defendants. In DIICOT's own very careful phrasing, an "unnamed foreign man" is alleged to have exploited a 17-year-old and repeatedly had sexual contact with a 15-year-old. This month, prosecutors expanded the file again, adding charges for moving assets that were supposed to be frozen - including allegedly selling seized luxury cars. Basically, this happens when investigators believe you shuffled property out the back door mid-investigation. (More on that in an upcoming Part)

The United Kingdom. In May 2025, the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) filed 21 charges - rape, actual bodily harm, human trafficking - covering the Luton years. Hold that number; it's about to grow. A Romanian appeals court had already granted Britain's extradition request back in March 2024, but only after Romanian proceedings wrapped up. Which raises a shitty logistical question: What happens to that queue if the defendants simply...aren't in Romania anymore?

Glad you asked.

The extraction

The Tate brothers left Romania in February 2025, and the how is the part your MAGA uncle loves to skip.

That month, the Financial Times reported that U.S. officials raised the brothers' case in a phone call with the Romanian government, advocating for the return of their passports. Richard Grenell - Trump's special envoy, a man with apparently limitless bandwidth for this particular cause - denied pressuring anyone. However, Romania's own foreign minister then confirmed that Grenell told him he "remains interested in the fate of the Tate brothers." Grenell also posted that Romania was just the latest example of USAID being weaponized against people who weren't woke - a talking point that shows up nearly word-for-word in the Tates' own American court filings, and no, I'm not letting that one go; it’s getting its own installment.

Asked in the Oval Office whether his administration pressured Romania, the President of the United States said: "I just know nothing about it." A sentence with a truly impressive words-to-credibility ratio. (The Irish Times reconstructed the whole escape, and it's worth your time.)

On February 27, 2025, a Romanian court handed the Tates back their passports. The detail to sit with? Per The New Yorker, the passports were returned by a Romanian official who had recently visited Mar-a-Lago. A private jet had them in Fort Lauderdale within days. UFC president and Trump ally Dana White was promptly filmed hugging them at a Vegas event, telling them "Welcome to the States, boys."

Not everyone rolled out a carpet, though. Florida's attorney general opened an investigation. (Lol no, not Pam Bondi or Ashley Moody. It was the new guy.) At the Fort Lauderdale airport, Customs and Border Protection seized their electronic devices. It almost sounded like America might actually go after one of the “worst of the worst” - but what happened next is the part that should end careers.

ProPublica reported that Paul Ingrassia - a 31 year old lawyer who represented the Tates at their attorney Joseph McBride's firm before joining the White House as its liaison to the Department of Homeland Security - told senior DHS officials to give the Tates their devices back. Days after the seizure. While federal agents were examining them. Former Homeland Security Investigations leaders told ProPublica they had never seen the White House insert itself into a routine border seizure. Ingrassia's on-record defense, in full, before hanging up: "There was no intervention. Nothing happened." Two U.S. senators called it a "brazen interference with a federal investigation." Ingrassia was subsequently moved to the General Services Administration - where he’s now, I shit you not, the Acting General Counsel. In between, his nomination to run the federal whistleblower-protection office collapsed over racist and antisemitic group-chat texts. Because in this administration, getting caught doing insane and horrifying shit, merely calls for a transfer. (See: Kristi Noem, United States Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas.)

Count the government officials with me, thus far. One special envoy allegedly raising their case with a foreign government. A second special envoy, essentially throwing their Washington coming-out party. A former Tate lawyer inside the motherfucking White House, leaning on DHS.

And the affinity for these shitbags doesn't stop at staff level. Vice President JD Vance follows both brothers on X - so do Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr.

Yahoo News reports that Andrew Tate connected with 19-year-old Barron Trump through Justin Waller, the dude who calls himself the Tates' "third brother" - and that during their conversation, they discussed a shared belief that Romanian prosecutors were targeting the Tates to silence them. Not long afterward came the Mar-a-Lago flavored passport hand-off described above. I'm just laying the events on the table in the order they happened. You can draw your own conclusions.

The arrest

All of that brings us right back around to Saturday, and then this morning - Monday, July 20, when the Tate brothers appeared before U.S. Magistrate Judge Lauren Louis in gray jail hand-me-downs and shackles. A far cry from their preferred jewel-toned blouses, capri trousers, and low-cut loafers designed to show off their ankles.

The judge informed them they’re being held on a provisional arrest warrant from the UK, that extradition proceedings are already underway, and then set the next hearing for a week from today - Monday, July 27. Until then - they stay in custody and we can only hope they have the worst time.

As for any additional information about what this is all regarding - our British friends threw us a few receipts to work with.

Bedfordshire Police confirmed the arrests, saying the original charges stem from an evidence file into allegations dating all the way back to 2012, and announced that further charges have now been authorized over reports made in both Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire. Per the Sydney Morning Herald, the CPS authorized 38 new charges, covering four new victims, bringing the total number of alleged victims in the UK to seven, per the AP - and the total charges to 59: Andrew faces 42, Tristan faces 17.

And I want you to read Andrew’s list closely. Per the CPS breakdown, it includes seven additional rape counts, three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation, and 19 charges relating to “indecent images of a child and extreme pornography.”

The force's assistant chief constable says its major crime unit has been working with the CPS and both national and international law enforcement - and the statement closes with a line worth printing in full: "There is no place for male violence against women and girls in Bedfordshire." The Marshals took the brothers in Miami, the CPS says the goal is a shitass plane ride to Britain, and the first public paperwork is already landing on the Southern District of Florida docket - and the formal UK extradition package has to follow within roughly 60 days. Don’t worry, I’ll be reading all of it.

Their lawyer already entertained the idea of Trump stepping in. Speaking outside court, McBride called the case a “political witch hunt” and said Trump “was elected to fight against this kind of nonsense.” Because apparently, these societal stains known for their depravity…are political. (McBride also claimed on Saturday the arrest was “greenlighted by a low-level functionary” at the Justice Department. The Justice Department told the AP the arrests were approved by the leadership of its Criminal Division.)

You don’t have to do much mental stretching to arrive at the assumption, that this defense is not planning to argue facts - but rather, to argue that the extradition itself is political. A former federal prosecutor told CNN, the executive branch can block an extradition request it deems politically motivated - “So yes, President Trump is able to help prevent an extradition to the UK if he wanted to.”

For the record: Per the AP, the State Department has granted nearly every British extradition request since 2007 - the lone exception came in Trump’s first term, when it protected a diplomat’s wife who fled Britain after a fatal crash. So there’s precedent for exactly one thing: This administration saying no when it wants to.

All we can do now is wait and see if the same administration that sprang the brothers from Romania, will now be willing to keep them out of Britain. And…to whose benefit?

As for the brothers’ DC host? While the Marshals booked his Wednesday houseguests, Zampolli spent Saturday at Trump's Bedminster golf club, hosting meetings ahead of the World Cup final, per the Herald. The circuit doesn't pause for arrests. It never has.

Under U.S. extradition law, the judge only decides whether the legal boxes are checked. The final call on actually surrendering someone to a foreign country belongs to the Secretary of State. Read that again. After the courtroom - whether Andrew and Tristan Tate ever board that shitty little plane to London - gets decided, not by a judge, but by the Trump administration. The same one whose envoys, aides, and allies spent eighteen months treating these men like a cause. Looking at you, Marco Fucking Rubio.

These brothers spent years convincing millions of boys they were untouchable - rich enough, connected enough, protected enough. For eighteen months, the American government did its level best to prove them right. But on Saturday, a different arm of that same government put them in handcuffs - on their way to a boxing ring, no less.

Which half wins, is the story of the next few months. I'll be covering the before…and the after, in aggressive detail. Because fuck this shit.

Next in this series: how two kickboxers from Luton built a webcam empire — in their own words, from their own courses, now preserved forever in court records, where deleting them can't save him.

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Friday’s piece argued one thing: The “communist menace” stuff isn't merely rhetoric, it's a coordinated effort, and every reused statute and memo points in the same direction. I laid out NSPM-7 (memorandum), the denaturalization priority, the Cold War visa rules pulled back off the shelf.

They’ve added another piece to it. So here's the receipt.

On July 16, Secretary of State Marco Rubio announced a new visa restriction policy targeting “Far-Left Terrorist and other aligned groups” - capitalized, like it's a specific organization. It isn't. The statement names no group and cites zero evidence. It bars foreign nationals who “supported,” “incited,” “financed,” “recruited,” or “provided logistical support” for this network, or “facilitated the convergence” of it. Every one of those words is doing the same job “anti-American” did in the memo I wrote about Friday. In summary, it means whatever they need it to mean.

And I’m not the one linking this to Friday’s piece. They are. The first sentence of the announcement says the policy is issued “in support of National Security Presidential Memorandum-7” - the same memo that lists “anti-capitalism” and “anti-Christianity” as threads of terrorism. They flagged the connection, not me. The legal authority is Section 212(a)(3)(C) of the Immigration and Nationality Act - the foreign-policy inadmissibility ground. Same statutory drawer as the 1918 and 1952 visa rules from Friday.

Now for the details everyone else filled in after the press release. Rubio announced this at a State Department summit he named the “Ministerial on the Resurgence of Political Terrorism,” with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and White House deputy chief of ghouls, Stephen Miller, next to him on stage. The Treasury guy who controls the money, the immigration guy, and the visa guy, together, announcing the government will decide who's a terrorist and then close the border to them. He said the State Department has already designated four Europe-based groups - including Antifa Ost and Armed Proletarian Justice - as foreign terrorist organizations, noting more designations are coming.

He answered the January 6th question for me. On Friday, I pointed out that NSPM-7 conveniently fails to mention the one mob that actually built gallows and hunted a vice president. Rubio called the idea that right-wing terror might be as serious as left-wing terror “dogma” and “ideological prejudice.” The blind spot isn't an accident. It's the policy, stated out loud. He then posted that “foreigners who finance, incite, or aid and abet Far-Left Terrorists are enemies of our civilization” - for a category of person the government won't define, tied to groups it usually won't name.

I’ll keep you posted on any further steps they take.

Friday: Here's what they’re trying to do, and here’s how they’re doing it.

Now: They did it again, live, at a themed conference, and told you exactly how it connects.

The word “communism” is aimed at foreigners right now because that's the low-risk first swing. People don’t often rally for a stranger's visa. But four named groups became “more coming” in a single speech, and these lists have never once gotten shorter. Watch who's “aligned” next.

If you missed the full piece, it's here.

Oh, and release the fucking Epstein files.

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On the eve of the country’s 250th birthday, standing under four dead presidents carved into a mountain, Donald Trump informed a South Dakota crowd that “there is now a resurgence of the communist menace in our land.” He called communism ”a mortal threat to American liberty” and then - I shit you not - ranked it a bigger threat to America than World War I, World War II, Pearl Harbor, “or even 9-11.” It was sold as a greater danger than the deadliest wars in human history, delivered by a man reading it off a teleprompter next to a fireworks stand. Sure. The greatest threat in the nations history (and it’s foot soldiers) want universal pre-K. Makes total sense. Nailed it.

Seventy-six years earlier, Senator Joseph McCarthy stood in a hall in Wheeling, West Virginia, and held up a piece of paper, he claimed, was ”a list” of communists hiding within the State Department. He never showed anybody the list - they never do - but he didn’t need to. The word itself and it’s harrowing mystery, did the work, devoid of any evidence. Careers were destroyed, and Joe McCarthy got four years of the most attention a mediocre man has ever received - until maybe now.

But here’s the part that should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The guy at Mount Rushmore sounding exactly like McCarthy isn’t a coincidence - it’s inheritance. Trump’s mentor - the lawyer who taught him to sue everyone, admit nothing, and treat an apology like a war crime - was Roy Cohn - McCarthy’s very own chief counsel. The literal right hand of the original Red Scare spent a decade as Donald Trump’s right-hand-man. Yale historian Beverly Gage, who wrote the definitive book on McCarthy, put it plainly: It’s not many steps from McCarthy to Cohn to Trump. Two, if you’re counting, and we’re fucking counting. This isn’t history rhyming, it’s the same guy’s protégé running the same con with better lighting and technology.

So let’s take a step back from focusing on the rhetoric and go look at what it’s actually attached to, because the “communist menace” crap is the shiny thing they wave in your face. The machine is operating underneath, and the machine is operating swiftly.

Step one: Build yourself a communist, since you don’t have any

There’s a small logistical hiccup in declaring a war on communism in 2026, which is the fact that America is fresh out of communists. The people catching the label - Zohran Mamdani, the democratic socialists who won a few primaries in New York and Colorado this summer - belong to the Democratic Socialists of America, whose blood-soaked revolutionary platform is - and I want you to brace yourself for this: Universal healthcare, taxing the rich proportionately, and making corporations follow rules. That’s it. That’s the menace. Democratic socialism and communism are not the same thing - one believes medical care and education should be within reasonable financial reach, the other abolishes private property - a distinction you can resolve in about nine seconds on your phone, which is roughly eight and a half seconds longer than any NRCC ad can afford to spend on it.

The conflation isn’t them being dumb. I wish it were that innocent. It’s deliberate, and Trump coughed up the confession himself at Mount Rushmore when he specified the communist threat was worse than mere ”differences over taxes or regulations.” Taxes and regulations are the entire democratic socialist platform. He stood there, acknowledged that his opponents are just people who want to tax and regulate, and then declared them a mortal enemy anyway - because you can’t round up “people who disagree with me about the corporate tax rate,” but you can absolutely round up “communists.” He needs them to be communists. But it gets worse. The following day he upgraded them from menace to a ”cancer” that should be “cut out fast,” which is a genuinely unsettling word to use about American citizens who won an election, but this is the country we live in now.

Once you’ve invented an enemy that can be anyone - it can be anyone. That’s the point.

Step two: Write down your scheme and email it to the newspaper

The tell that this is a campaign gimmick and not a genuine national-security emergency is that the people running it, keep cheerfully explaining the gimmick to reporters. Rep. Richard Hudson, who runs the House GOP’s campaign operation, said Democrats nominating socialists were ”making this easy for us.” That is not a man worried about a national security threat. That’s a man who found a new campaign strategy.

But leaking it to a reporter would require a shred of subtlety, and subtlety is not on the menu. In October, the National Republican Congressional Committee posted - on its own website, where it is sitting right now - a memo titled ”Weaponizing Mamdani.” Not “countering.” Not “responding to.” Weaponizing. Instruction one is to “nationalize” Mamdani - to staple one New York mayor to every House Democrat in every swing district in America. You don’t title a document “Weaponizing” unless it genuinely has not occurred to you that this might look bad. McCarthy hid what was on his list. These people titled theirs, formatted it, and posted it on the internet for the entire world to see. This week they dropped a new ad warning that what Democratic Socialists really want, is ”full-blown communism in America” - to “seize private property,” as they flashed over B-roll engineered to make your propaganda-susceptible grandfather, speed-dial his congressman before he can flip the footrest down.

Now, if the whole operation stopped at disingenuous ads, I’d be writing about something else and we’d both be having a nicer day - but doesn’t stop at ads. Here’s where it gets really ugly.

Step three: Quietly rebuild the 1950s, because the laws that ran it are still on the books

Old insults are free. What costs something - what takes real effort - is what they’ve spent the last year doing: Quietly reviving the laws that let the government act on the word “communist.”

Meet National Security Presidential Memorandum 7, signed September 25, 2025, three days after an executive order branded “Antifa” a “domestic terrorist organization.” Antifa is a movement - the anti-fascist movement. It’s literally in the name. Antifa has no membership rolls because it’s a belief system and moral political boundary. You cannot join it any more than you can join “being annoyed.” Now read the memo itself, because you may honestly accuse me of exaggerating otherwise. It lists the “common threads” of the terrorism it’s tasking the FBI on with as: “anti-Americanism, anti-capitalism, and anti-Christianity,” plus “hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on family, religion, and morality.” That’s in a White House document…in the Federal Register. The government of the United States wrote down that disagreeing with them about capitalism and Christianity is an indicator of terrorism, and then hit publish. The Brennan Center - not a pack of anarchists - found the whole thing “ungrounded in fact and law,” sweeping up labor organizers, immigration advocates, and anyone the administration decides is “anti-American” - which is a category with no floor. The ACLU called it a tool to scare people quiet. Unironically, the memo conveniently fails to mention January 6th - the single most photogenic act of political violence in living American memory - a mob that built gallows and hunted a vice president. Because that political violence was actual violence, and the preferred kind. Funny how the terrorism memo has a blind spot shaped exactly like the president’s fan base.

But it has more than one moving part. In December, Attorney General Pam Bondi ordered every federal agency to hand over “Antifa-related” intelligence to the FBI within fourteen days, and told the Bureau to comb back through five years of it. Investigating Americans for what they protested about in 2021 already has a name - it’s called COINTELPRO, the FBI program that spied on and sabotaged civil rights and antiwar activists until Congress killed it in the ‘70s for being exactly this.

Uncoincidentially, on the very same day the “Antifa” memorandum came out, the administration opened an investigation into the Open Society Foundations - a group it has spent years despising. The memo instructs the IRS to go after any nonprofit it decides is “financing political violence.” To be clear here - that means the government gets to declare which charities are “funding terrorism,” and then hunt down the donors who wrote them checks. But “terrorism” is actually just disagreeing on Capitalism and Christianity.

Unfortunately, this isn’t even a new idea. In the 1950s, the House Un-American Activities Committee hauled people in front of cameras and demanded they name names. This version does the same thing through the tax code. No dramatic hearings, no footage, nobody forced to answer the old loyalty question, “are you or have every been” under the lights. They found a quicker, quieter way to the information they want.

Then there’s the citizenship-stripping, which is where the McCarthy comparison quits being an analogy and becomes a footnote. In June 2025, the DOJ made denaturalization - yanking citizenship from naturalized Americans - a top enforcement priority, ordering its lawyers to “maximally pursue” it. NPR noted, without much drama, that this was a McCarthy-era favorite - a tool once saved for actual Nazis and war criminals, now stretched across categories one law professor called “so vague as to be meaningless.” And in case you think I’m the one connecting “communist” to “get out of my country,” Rep. Randy Fine said, with his whole chest, that Mamdani - a naturalized citizen and the elected mayor of the largest city in the nation - should be “denaturalized and deported NOW.” One party built the mechanism and named the target within a few months of each other, and didn’t even try to make it look like a coincidence. They just assumed no one was going to read the memo. That’s been the bet the entire time.

In March 2026, the State Department reached even further back, reviving a Cold War-era rule, barring visas for anyone linked to a communist party - and deleting the old exceptions that used to protect people who’d been forced to join, or who joined as kids. The legal authority they reached for, dates to the Immigration Act of 1918 and the McCarran-Walter Act of 1952 - the actual laws of the first Red Scare, never repealed, just sitting there dormant for seventy years. They didn’t have to pass anything new. The statutes were on the books the whole time, fully loaded, waiting for an administration willing to actually use them. This one was.

Step four: Scream “communism” while personally buying the factories

I’d be cheating you out of the single most laughable part of this if I didn’t include this, and by laughable, I mean where you laugh once, quietly, and then go lie down and contemplate every wrong turn it took to get here.

The administration warning Americans about the terrifying specter of government that seizes the means of production - has, over the past year - seized a whole fucking lot, of the means of production. The US government has taken direct ownership stakes in a growing pile of private companies - north of ten billion dollars and climbing - including a ten percent stake in Intel that made the federal government the chipmaker’s single largest shareholder, a fifteen percent cut of a rare-earth miner that made the Pentagon its biggest shareholder, and a “golden share” in U.S. Steel that hands the president a hand on the wheel of its operations. The companies wrote the risk into their own SEC filings. Even the Cato Institute - a libertarian organization, the people who’d privatize the sidewalk if you let them - noted dryly that Congressional Republicans “would be foaming at the mouth were this occurring under a Democratic administration,” but instead are sitting on their hands, whistling. Government ownership of strategic industry is a lot of things, but the one thing it is definitively not is the rugged free-market capitalism these guys claim to be defending from the “communists.” The party hollering “communist” at people who want cheaper insulin is the party literally nationalizing the steel mill. The call is coming from inside the house.

How the last era died - and why this one is built not to

This is the part the nostalgia tour skips. McCarthyism didn’t end because the country collectively found its conscience over a long weekend. It ended because institutions with a spine actually stood up and broke. The Army-McCarthy hearings kept the man on live TV long enough for the whole country to watch him be a bully, and when the Army’s lawyer finally asked, ”Have you no sense of decency, sir?”, the spell broke. The Senate censured him. The Supreme Court, in Yates v. United States, gutted the prosecutions that had been throwing people in prison for their politics. The press did its job, the courts did theirs, the Senate did theirs, and the fever finally broke. What a fucking concept.

Now take a second to recall everything we just covered above - because the thing that killed the first Red Scare is the exact thing this machine is engineered to strangle in advance. The courts? Their funding gets threatened and their judges get smeared by name in official government documents, and hit with impeachment resolutions for the outrageous crime of doing their job. The press? Its broadcast licenses get threatened from behind a primetime podium. The nonprofits and donors who’d bankroll the fight back? Routed straight through the IRS and the Joint Terrorism Task Force. Every referee who blew the whistle the first time is getting walked off the field, one at a time, on official letterhead, in broad daylight, before the game even starts.

That’s the difference between the original and the sequel. McCarthy needed four years, a press that played along, and a list he was too sackless to ever show anyone. These people needed a website, the Federal Register, and a file named “Weaponizing.” They are not writing a new playbook. They dug up the 1950 one, slapped on a fresh coat of paint and a better distribution deal, and started quietly disabling everything that stopped it the first time - so that when the fever comes, there’s nobody left with a spine to break it.

So do the uncomfortable shit that actually works.

Learn the difference between socialism and communism well enough to shut your uncle down at Thanksgiving, because the word is only a weapon as long as people are afraid of it, and hazy on what it actually means. Take away that fear and you’ve unloaded the weapon. Give oxygen to the exact organizations the memorandum is built to scare into silence, because “obeying in advance” is the entire outcome the memo is hoping for, and nothing fucks up a fear campaign like people refusing to be afraid on schedule.

And watch who gets called a communist next, because these lists never shrink. They only grow - until one day the name on the list is someone you know. Or you.

As horrific as it is, McCarthy’s playbook still works. The only question remaining, is whether anyone stops it. The good news is, it was already stopped once: By the courts, the press, and the senate doing their jobs. That’s it. That’s the whole defense. So the referees need to show the fuck up.

Oh, and release the mother fucking Epstein files. Still. Always. Some things never expire.

I read this shit so you don’t have to. Every claim up there links to a primary source. Don’t take my word for it. Take theirs. Follow me on threads at @theheatherashley.

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The midterms are in 109 days, and this entire circus is a machine with five moving parts. Let me walk you through it - one part at a time, receipts attached.

Part 1: Invent the emergency

You can’t sell a crackdown without a crisis, so they manufactured one. That’s what the zip file was. The primetime special, the “authenticated” files, the DHS memo claiming over 250,000 non-citizens are registered to vote in four blue states, with zero methodology shown.

The number they won’t say out load is this: In April, USCIS’s own spokesperson told NPR that when 60-plus million voter records were run through the government’s own verification system, about 21,000 were flagged - that’s “less than 1%”. Those are their words, that’s their system, and that’s their number. Non-citizen registration is exceptionally rare, every serious review for decades agrees, and their own data confirms it.

So the emergency is not real. But the emergency was never the point. The emergency was the sales pitch.

Part 2: Demand the “fix”

Did you catch the call-to-action they buried in the speech? Between the propaganda speed-run and the poll-worker skit, Trump told everyone to call their representatives and demand the passage of the SAVE Act.

Here’s what the SAVE Act actually does: It requires documented proof of citizenship - for most people, a passport or a birth certificate, presented in person - just to register to vote or update a registration. It has passed the House but is stalled in the Senate. It needs 60 votes it doesn’t have. That’s what the primetime pressure-campaign was for.

Who does “show us your birth certificate, in person” actually block? Not the mythical 250,000 undocumented immigrants. It blocks the millions of eligible American citizens who don’t have a passport, whose birth certificate is in a filing cabinet three states away, citizens in underserved communities whose financial situation doesn’t allow for a trip to vital records or the DMV to spend additional money on new documentation, adoptees, and married women whose birth certificate doesn’t match their current legal name. Married women get to provide extra documentation, to prove the same information. That’s not a bug. That’s a feature.

Part 3: Remove the referee

This is the part that should scare you, so I need you to follow the sequence.

The administration didn’t wait for the SAVE Act. They rebuilt the SAVE database - turning a benefits-verification tool into a mass citizenship-screening system for voter rolls, loaded with Social Security data, without the legally required public notice.

In June, U.S. District Judge Sparkle Sooknanan ruled the overhaul unlawful - a 75-page opinion found it violated the Privacy Act, the Social Security Act, and the Administrative Procedure Act, writing that the government ”knowingly trampled on the privacy rights of American citizens” in a way that threatens the right to vote. Her ruling is on appeal, and it stands in the meantime.

Their response to losing in court? The DHS memo in the “election files” attacks her by name as an “activist judge.” A House member has filed actual articles of impeachment against her - H.Res. 1421, real, on congress.gov, accuses her of “high crimes and misdemeanors” for issuing an injunction.

Issuing a fucking injunction. That’s the “crime.” That’s actually a judges’ whole-ass job. And to make matters increasingly embarrassing as a country, Rep. Nancy Mace put out a press release branding her a “foreign-born judge” while pitching constitutional amendments inspired by her existence. Judge Sooknanan is a naturalized U.S. citizen. Nancy Mace is a self-important bathroom monitor.

Follow the pattern: Lose in court → smear the judge in an official government document → move to impeach → propose changing the Constitution. When they can’t win under the rules, they don’t stop playing, they remove the referee. They did the same thing with the Inspectors General he purged, and the Election Assistance Commission he tried to commandeer by executive order. A court blocked that one too."

Part 4: Soften the ground

Now for the quiet part. The DHS memo says the department has “notified” California, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Nevada about their supposedly poisoned voter rolls, that the “investigation is expanding,” and that DHS will support the DOJ’s review of state voter files. Four blue states, put on notice, four months before the midterms, based on a number nobody can fact-check.

This accomplishes two things, no matter what happens in November. If Republicans win, the crackdown “worked,” and they pass the SAVE Act. If Republicans lose…well, they told you the rolls were full of undocumented immigrants, and China had the data - the loss will be deemed illegitimate, we can bank on a refusal to certify, and here we go again. Remember, this is the man who tried it before, with fake electors in seven states, and pardoned everyone who stormed the Capitol over it. He is not building a new playbook. He’s pre-positioning the old one and ready to go.

Part 5: Silence the witnesses

The last part of the machine. ABC and NBC decided not to air Trump’s speech live - it was the same call networks made for a Biden primetime address in 2022 and an Obama address in 2014 - but Trump took time during his speech to demand their broadcast licenses be revoked, calling their refusal a “fraud” and part of a plot.

Why does the license threat belong in the election machine? Because when the November narrative-war starts - certified results versus “the immigrants did it” - he wants every network doing the math on what fact-checking him costs. Fox already wrote that check for $787.5 million in the other direction. He’s making sure the price runs both ways.

The whole machine, assembled

Invent an emergency their own data disproves → use it to push a law that makes voter registration harder for citizens → impeach the judge who blocked the database version → pre-declare four blue states’ rolls corrupted → threaten the licenses of anyone who won’t air it.

Every part points at the same date: November 3rd.

The speech wasn’t merely a rerun of 2020 conspiracies. It was a trailer for 2026.

What you can actually do (besides lose your shit on threads, which is justifiable)

Check your voter registration today. Not in October. Today. Especially if you’ve moved, gotten married, or changed your name - you are the target demographic of this entire project. Every state has a lookup - vote.org will route you.

Call your senators about the SAVE Act - Trump told his people to demand it. You’re allowed to demand the opposite. It’s sitting in the Senate needing 60 votes. Don’t let them get a single one.

Get your documents in order anyway. If the worst version passes, the people with paperwork ready - get to vote anyway. Spite is a valid form of civic participation.

And obviously: RELEASE THE MOTHER FUCKING EPSTEIN FILES. Still. Forever. Until they do. Period.

I watch this shit so you don’t have to. Parts one and two have the receipts; the metadata forensics and file hashes are published so you can verify every word yourself. Follow the live threads at @theheatherashley.

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Quick methodology note: I pulled the internal metadata from these PDFs using standard document forensic tools - creation timestamps, authoring software fingerprints, the stuff files carry around whether or not anyone wants them to. Metadata can be scrubbed, so a clean file proves nothing. But when metadata is there, it talks. And man, did it talk.

Exhibit A: The DHS memo that argues with itself

First up: a one-page DHS document titled — I shit you not - “PREVENTING ALIEN VOTING.”

Fun fact about the copy in the White House release? it appears to have been scrubbed of every piece of internal metadata. I got no creation date, no author, no software fields - nothing. It’s giving the vibe that someone ran the “evidence” through a cleaner before publishing it, which would certainly be a choice for a document someone is presenting as proof. But metadata scrubbing doesn’t get everything - the embedded font fingerprints indicate it’s a born-digital Microsoft Word document. Not a scan of an intelligence product. Not a records-system export. It appears that someone opened Word and typed this. Its own contents date it to late June 2026. I see nothing within this metadata to suggest this is “evidence” from 2020. It’s a talking-points memo written for this rollout, wearing a DHS logo and seemingly freshly wiped fingerprints.

And what talking points they are. The memo says states with - actual phrase - “alien-first policies” suffered “horrific damage” from open borders. It also attacks a sitting federal judge by name, as “the activist Judge Sparkle Sooknanan,” for an injunction that’s still pending appeal.

I need everyone to understand something here. Legitimate DHS intelligence products do not editorialize. They do not call judges names. They read like they were written by lawyers on decaf, because they were. This reads like a Truth Social post that wandered onto letterhead.

But here’s my favorite part. The memo’s headline claim is that over 250,000 non-citizens are illegally registered in just four states (California, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Nevada) - states whose files DHS allegedly reviewed on its own, methodology not shown. Meanwhile, the same memo reports that when 25 states ran more than 68 million registration records through the actual verification system (SAVE), it flagged about 28,000 possible non-citizen registrations. That’s roughly 0.04 percent.

So their verified, systematized number says non-citizen registration is astonishingly rare - which is what every serious review has found for decades. But somehow, their unverified, no-methodology number for four blue states is more than eight times larger than what 25 states’ worth of actual data produced. The document debunks itself. It just doesn’t notice, because it wasn’t written to be read. It was written to be waved - like a Trump flag - while chanting “stop the steal.”

Exhibit B: The “China stole your voter data” memo - That’s a public record, my guy

Next up, is the centerpiece. A heavily redacted six-page memo about the PRC obtaining U.S. voter registration data from 18 states. This is the document behind the White House page’s scaaaariest claim, that “tens of millions of voters’ data” was “bought, stolen, or hacked by China.”

Let’s start with the packaging, because the packaging is particularly unhinged. The document is a low-resolution scan of a printout, and forensically there is exactly ONE piece of live digital text in the entire file: A red banner reading “SENSITIVE GOVERNMENT AGENCY,” typed in Courier over a black box that covers the document’s original classification line.

I need to be extremely clear about how not-normal this is. “Sensitive Government Agency” is not a classification marking. It does not exist in the classification system. Real declassified documents show their original markings. That’s how you verify what a document is and where it came from. This one had its classification banner and its originating agency covered up, with a made-up phrase typed over the top, before release. They redacted the document’s own birth certificate.

Every page is stamped “DECLASSIFIED BY COUNSEL TO THE PRESIDENT WARRINGTON ON 10 JULY 2026” - David Warrington is White House Counsel. These stamps do not indicate any specific agency review, nor executive order citation. The metadata, once again, appears to have been completely scrubbed - same as the DHS memo (the CIA Note, meanwhile, shipped with its timestamp intact - this release doesn’t seem to have been sanitized by a process, it looks more like it could’ve been sanitized by whoever got handed each file).

Even better? The filename they published it under is “18_States_Memo_-clean-_declass_mark_Redacted.” That’s internal workflow naming - the “clean” copy, with the “declass mark” added - shipped straight to the public. They left the outline in the book.

But now let’s talk about the content - the shit that nobody, justifiably, wants to read. When you peel back the theatre, this is what the unredacted text actually describes: China obtained voter registration data - names, birth dates, addresses, party affiliation, voting history, polling places - and planned to use it for “public opinion analysis” and “U.S. person matching.”

Those fields are the standard state voter file. Which is, in much of America, a public record. North Carolina - the memo’s “over 8 million voters” - publishes its statewide voter file as a free download, by law. Florida’s is a public record. Campaigns, PACs, pollsters, and data brokers buy, sell, and trade these files every single day of the week. The White House says the data was “bought, stolen, or hacked” - and the memo redacts precisely the words that would tell you which. Because “bought” might mean “acquired the same file your county party chair has on a thumb drive.”

And even if take every unredacted word at face value; a foreign intelligence service hoarding voter data to profile Americans and analyze public opinion, is a genuine counterintelligence concern. The kind agencies handle constantly, quietly, and without a primetime special because what the fuck is the public going to do with that information? Panic?

What it is not, anywhere in this document, is evidence that anyone altered a registration, touched a voting machine, or changed a vote. The centerpiece exhibit for “compromised elections” never alleges a single compromised ballot. It looks more like they’re counting on the redaction bars to look like the crime.

Exhibit C: The CIA Note with a production schedule

The big bad wolf of these documents is a six-page “CIA Note” summarizing intelligence about Venezuela’s voting-machine capabilities. This is the document doing the heavy lifting for the whole “foreign-compromised election” narrative. So, Let’s walk the timeline.

Most of it is stamped right on the document’s face, and the last piece is in the file’s own metadata: June 29, 2026. That’s when it appears the Note was written.

Read that again. Nothing within this file gives the impression that it is some 2020 piece of intelligence - just a summary written three weeks ago, and its scope note admits it: A curated selection of “key findings from select intelligence documents,” not a full breakdown.

Then there’s July 1, 2026 - when it claims to have been declassified by CIA Director Ratcliffe. That’s two days later. Genuine declassification reviews take months to years, because actual sources and methods are at stake.

Last there’s July 10, 2026 - the date it was stamped “APPROVED FOR PUBLIC RELEASE BY COUNSEL TO THE PRESIDENT.” The White House counsel’s office is somehow the release authority on an intelligence product. This. Is. Not. Fucking. Normal.

The Note’s own footer admits it “was not coordinated within the Intelligence Community.” It was just one office’s product, rushed to print.

According to the file’s internal metadata, the PDF in the release package was created on July 14, 2026, at 2:00:59 PM Eastern using Adobe Software. Two days later, it was pitched as the “biggest news in history” on primetime TV.

Seventeen days, start to finish, ending on a content calendar. That’s not intelligence being discovered. That’s a product launch hitting its ship date.

Every agency that would normally check this work…didn’t.

No one in this administration expected anyone with a basic level of education to read these documents, let alone get to page four. It contains a section called “Limitations and Analytic Caveats,” and it’s a controlled demolition of their entire narrative.

According to their own document - the 2006 Intelligence Community assessment concluded that neither Smartmatic nor the Venezuelan government had the capability to manipulate the outcome of an election outside Venezuela in a predictable fashion. The whole terrifying premise - the one where Venezuela can reach into American voting machines - is denied by the document itself.

As for the CIA…their baseline assessment found no large-scale electronic fraud in Venezuela’s own 2012 election - supported by polling, quantitative analysis, and the opposition’s concession. They couldn’t even confirm the machines were rigged in the country where the regime controlled everything.

The whole “here’s how fraud could work” scenario? The Note says it came from a 2013 “Devil’s Advocacy” report - an explicitly hypothetical alternative-analysis exercise - the analytic equivalent of a writers’ room asking “okay, but what if?” It acknowledged conflicting reporting and limited insight. It was never a finding.

September 2020 reporting found that Maduro didn’t even need fraud to win his elections, since the opposition was boycotting.

So the document released to imply foreign machines corrupted American democracy? Their own documents say they have no capability outside Venezuela, they couldn’t even confirm large-scale fraud inside Venezuela. And the dramatic scenario was a thought experiment. They released their own debunking and bet you wouldn’t read it. Bad bet.

The Smartmatic problem

Two more facts from the Note’s own text that vaporize the insinuation: Smartmatic was pressured into divesting its US voting operations in 2007. And in 2018, Smartmatic quit Venezuela entirely after publicly accusing the Maduro regime of inflating turnout by over a million votes. The company being framed as Maduro’s secret weapon hadn’t touched US elections in 13 years and was on record calling out Maduro’s fraud. They’re not co-conspirators. They’re witnesses.

We have seen this exact movie

If “shadowy foreign voting-machine company rigged 2020” sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same conspiracy theory from November 2020 - the one that made Sidney Powell famous and Fox News poor. The federal indictment documents that Trump privately conceded that these machine-claims sounded “crazy, ” all the while amplifying them publicly. His own Attorney General and acting DOJ leadership told him directly the vote-switching claims were false. Fox News paid $787.5 million to Dominion for broadcasting this bullshit. Courts rejected it. Recounts refuted it. Because it’s simply not true.

Nevertheless, Trump republicans never let a good fact get in the way of a conspiracy theory. But this revival of a debunked claim is being laundered through a CIA letterhead, un-coordinated with the intelligence community, declassified in 48 hours, released by the White House counsel’s office, and PDF’d two days before primetime. The 2020 version at least had the decency to be improvised. This one has a Gantt chart.

What real evidence would look like

If the intelligence community actually assessed that a foreign power compromised American voter data or voting systems, there would be a trail you could follow - Gang of Eight congressional briefings on the record, coordinated IC (intelligence community) assessments, inspector general reviews, DOJ charging documents with case numbers. You know, like the 45-page indictment and the 448-page Mueller Report that already exist and that this entire circus is designed to shout over.

Instead we got a Word memo that argues with itself, a scanned memo wearing a crafted classification banner over its real one, and a CIA Note whose fine print dismantles its own headline - zipped together and uploaded next to a JOIN NOW button.

In summary - Release the mother fucking Epstein files.

I read this shit so you don’t have to. Part one is here. Follow the live threads at @theheatherashley, and subscribe so you don’t miss part three - because there are more documents in this zip, and I’m not done.

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On Thursday night, Trump addressed the nation on primetime TV after teasing “really big news” for days. Quote: “it doesn’t get bigger, because without free and fair elections, you don’t have a country.” Big news, right? Epic. Some even say it’s the biggest news they’ve ever heard.

The entire country - left, right, and the people who “don’t do politics” - have been asking for exactly ONE set of files. You know the ones. The fucking Epstein files. Are those the files he announced in front of the world?

Reader. Absolutely the fuck not.

First, the propaganda speedrun

Before he got anywhere near a point, he listed every single MAGA gargling-point possible, back to back, with no transitions, like a man reading a CVS receipt of bullshit:

“We’re wealthier than ever.” We were 45 seconds in.

“MORE AMERICANS ARE WORKING THAN EVER BEFORE.” Unemployment is the highest it’s been since 2021.

Inflation is “dropping.” Inflation is the highest it’s been since March 2024. It’s higher than when he got into office. You dont get to light the house on fire and take credit for turning on the hose. It’s still on fire and it’s your fault.

“No tax on tips or overtime.” Just fucking lying. There’s a capped deduction with an expiration date, not “no tax.” Ask literally any server doing their taxes.

He “inherited Biden’s terrible country” - a dead country, actually a which is also “the hottest country in the world” now - which is also worse than any “third world country.” All three things. Same speech. Minutes apart. Pick a country, any country.

Then he plugged Trump RX and Trump accounts for kids, because nothing says “address to the nation” like a commercial break for yourself featuring a dot gov address because we live in hell

The “big news?” - Election files. ELECTION files.

There it is, folks. The announcement. He’s releasing “election files” about 2020. Files he has personally “authenticated.” Sure, Jan. The defendant authenticating the evidence about himself is not a chain of custody, it’s a sadistic craft project.

Trump is a political male Instacart shopper (calm down). We asked for the Epstein files. He released election files and expected a round of applause.

Oh, and the best part? The documents about people trying to corrupt a US election already exist. They’re called the Mueller Report. Or if you prefer your reading with a case number, try United States v. Trump - the federal indictment describing how he and six co-conspirators organized fake elector scheme in seven states, tried to weaponize the DOJ with claims his own DOJ told him were false, and, when Pence refused to play along, an angry and suspiciously prepared mob, marched toward the Capitol. His loyalists built gallows and stormed the building. People went to prison for it. He pardoned them. That’s the election file. It’s free. It’s 45 pages and it’s been out. MAGA won’t read it, but that’s on brand. But sure bud, they’re definitely going to read your conspiracy docket. That’s definitely going to happen.

And now he “magically” has evidence that undocumented immigrants registered to vote? Oh really? You’ve had this evidence and you… didn’t deport them? When they allegedly told the government they were undocumented? The orange croissant’s own indictment literally documents his own campaign manager telling him the “non-citizens voted” claim was false in 2020.

About these “files?” Shit’s a Zip drive.

Let’s take a second to talk about how this earth-shattering intelligence was released to the public. It wasn’t through the DOJ with a case number. Not through ODNI with declassification markings and a review process. Not even through the National Archives.

No. It’s a few zip files. One is a whopping 39.5 MB zip file you download straight off the White House website - a page that unironically blames the unnamed “Deep State” ghosts for hiding China’s election meddling - sitting in a skinny nav bar next to a tab literally labeled TRUMP ACCOUNTS, with a big red JOIN NOW button chasing you down the screen.

That is not how declassified intelligence gets released. That is how a PR campaign gets distributed. Real declassifications come with authorization markings, agency review, and a chain of custody. When the “evidence” of a historic national security scandal is hosted like a media kit for a product launch, that tells you what it is.

And if the actual intelligence community assessed a foreign compromise of voter data, there’s a paper trail - congressional Gang of Eight briefings, agency assessments, inspector general reviews. Show us those. Through the agencies. With the markings. Until then, “Trump has authenticated the files” is doing an Olympic amount of heavy lifting, and his baby-back dignity is crumbling under the weight.

The media meltdown

ABC and NBC decided not to air this live and Trump lost his damn mind over it - called it a coordinated effort to “keep the fraud going and help the radical left” and said their licenses should be revoked. Because apparently we live in Russia now, with a dash of North Korea.

Quick hypocrisy check: Networks made the same call on addresses by Obama and Biden when they were deemed too political, and I don’t remember him demanding anyone’s license over that. We’re shocked.

He then flipped a bitch and said this speech “should be uniting both sides” approximately ninety seconds after calling Democrats “the radical left.” No. We don’t sit where we’re not valued.

The actual point was the SAVE Act

Under all the theater was the demand: Call your reps and demand the SAVE Act - documented proof of citizenship (passport or birth certificate, in person) to register to vote. It’s passed the House and is stalled in the Senate. It needs 60 votes it does not have. Noncitizen voting is already illegal and vanishingly rare. What the bill actually does is make registering harder for millions of eligible citizens - disproportionately women who changed their names, young voters, adopted voters, and anyone whose birth certificate is in a filing cabinet three states away. That’s not a bug. That’s a feature. They could always initiate automatic voter registry for all citizens at 18 - like they do the draft - but let’s be real, they’re not looking for more voters.

He even performed a little skit - “Are you a citizen of our country, please?” - like he was a folksy poll worker. Bitch, how am I proving that to my sweet little old lady poll-worker? Give me the details. With a crayon.

And scene

After that, it just ended. And then he stood there. Confused. Waiting. You’d be hard-pressed to convince me this wasn’t pre-recorded. The first tell was the fact that it started on time.

So, the big historic primetime address wasn’t the Epstein files or anything of remote substance - it was a rerun of 2020 conspiracy theories that went 0-for-everything in court, a tantrum about broadcast licenses, and an infomercial for a voter suppression bill that can’t pass. His voice was hanging on by a thread the entire time, like he spent the entire day yelling. I can almost hear the Big Mac sliding down the wall.

RELEASE THE MOTHER FUCKING EPSTEIN FILES. Nobody gives a fuck about the election files. We’ve read those. They’re called the Mueller Report.

I watch this shit so you don’t have to. Follow the live threads at @theheatherashley.

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