**read to the end for a goodbye**

the code to a happy life is simple (although not simple at all really), and I'm sure you have heard it over and over and over again.

yet do we really hear it? do we process it and hold it and practice it?

from what I see and hear in this world, we all say it from our lips but not from our hips.

so what is this code? to a happy life, you ask?

well, of course, it’s about loving yourself.

but self-love is not being a ‘bad bitch,’ and it’s not hustling. it’s not polishing yourself like a black shoe, rubbing harder and harder until it shines - no marks to the naked eye.

self-love is really just forgiveness, over and over again. self-love is going outside when your wounds are triggered, holding yourself in grace and self-respect, and taking responsibility.

because love is not a feeling, but a verb. we must choose to always show up for ourselves, over and over again. love does not always feel good and mushy and sexy; sometimes it feels uncomfortable, confronting, and hard.

we fight for those who do not deserve it; make excuses for their bad behaviour, yet we do not turn that unwavering support inward.

and people roll their eyes and say ‘self-love blah blah blah - give me a big house and lots of money and I'll show you happiness.’ but we chase what we are told to chase and still we come up short.

why is this?

because my darling, you are energy, and energy cannot be satiated with material things. energy can only be met and matched with energy.

so what energy do you pour into yourself? is it loving, or hostile? is it learnt and repeated, or is it transformative?

is your growth on a timeline? is your self-love held with conditions you make with yourself that says, ‘I am worthy of love, but after I do this; after I achieve this; after someone else tells me they love me.’
maybe it’s after your parents are proud, or society validates you, then, you think, ‘I will love myself.’ and that’s the way it should be, you think - nothing should come easy and nothing should come from no work.

but that is a cruel way to approach love. a baby lies in our arms with no such ability to prove anything; they are vulnerable to a fault, and we love them dearly. because love is not a reward for good behaviour.

if we love ourselves with conditions, what hope do we have? our love, if no one else’s, must be rhythmic and constant, like the beat of our heart. it’s not that we deserve love; we are love. we just have to remember that.

xoxo

after 3 and a half years of writing here, I have chosen to take a break. I am not enjoying it like I used to, and I want to go where the joy is, not the obligation. I don’t write with fever or passion like I used to, and out of respect for your time, and mine, it’s time to give it a break. I have other things I want to breathe life into now.

to my dear paid subscribers, all your payments have been put on hold for when, or if, I return.

everyone signed up to this newsletter will still get emails from me from my other work, but feel free to unsubscribe. You can also unsubscribe from here and come onto my own personal email list if you prefer - just reply HANNAH to this email. you can also follow me here.

I may return in 2 weeks, 2 months, next year, or never again, but as the stars are telling me, I don’t want to keep doing something that feels ill-fitted.

thank you for all your loving and kind support over the years. it has been a beautiful ride.

see you on the other side xoxox

all my love, Hannah

it’s been predicted many times by people, me included. Libra’s month of August is the Tower. a free fall of collapse. a revelation of not knowing who you are. but collapse can be quantum; what it takes down makes space for something completely different; what world is being born?

the business goes well and still I feel something missing; like it’s never enough but I don’t want to spend my life chasing, you know what I mean.

and everyone assumes we all have the exact same dreams but I know mine are a bit different. the stuff they sold me never really took hold. I don’t think people believe me but it's true.

I want peace and to always be here with the kindness I deserve. I want to be settled in myself as much as possible. I want to return home to myself where only safety and love resides.

but I'm in, going down, deep into a spiral where there is death and child wounds and a fleeing maidenhood and time slipping away and my demons. everything always comes to the surface, its just a matter of time.

so much has happened around me - just like it has for you too, I imagine. life is so much energy coming at and to and for and through you, and then we just carry it. unless we are working with magic to release it.

my hair was cut and I felt a mini death. it was holding so much in its porous nature - I don’t want mum to die; I don’t want to get old; I want to go back; I want it to be easy, and I don’t want to get what I’m asking for and realise again, it ain’t about that.

so I go round and round and round and round and round and round and round in my head and it gets me nowhere but round and round but I want to know the reason and rhyme so god damn much that I keep asking and prodding and going round.

then my husband tells me the dynamics are irrelevant; what is the feeling under all of this?

but I don’t want to feel it so I keep running and typing and tidying. and then a beautiful song comes on and I hear my son talking. fuck it, I think. lets go in.

remember that saying?

every time a cycle is broken a fairy is born xox

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Some Beautiful Offerings ~

~ The Devotional Activation ~ This is your Devotional month of Magic. By using the Feminine Art of Tarot & Priestess Magic, you will move through blocks, fears, & re-template your nervous system to embody safety, & become magnetic to your desires.
~ Sacred Blood Ritual Recording
Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
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the full moon in Aquarius was big and low.

when I looked at her; really looked at her, I saw a lime green belly encased in white rock that glowed.

I worship the full moon every month. I sit with her and converse with her. I baptise myself in her shimmering waters, and meditate under her feminine wisdom light.

I worship her and in return, I ask her to worship me. that’s what the ancients knew; that the relationship was reciprocal and honour breeds honour. we have forgotten the basics for health and wealth. we have forgotten the basics to live good. we have forgotten what a life lived good looks like.

I walk in the rain and take my socks off and stand in wet cold grass. I wake with the morning winter sun and ask for his magnetic codes. I meditate with my perineum to the ground because we must have earth’s power enter our sexual root and circulate from there. our perineum is one of the first things to form in our foetus form.1 it’s primal.

I realise that transformative healing isn’t conventional; it’s primordial.

It lies in the drumming, dancing, sunshine, & dark sky prayer. It lies in the dreamtime, the body, the fucking, the deep feeling, & of course, the magical.

when we listen to our bodies we become a channel for the divine. we become a note in the bigger symphony. when we realise our power, we remember our wisdom.

I realise a lot of pain comes from the mind and a lot of pain can be resolved by going into the body. with dance, with silence, with squatting into grass.

but still we make excuses for ourselves. we keep running from ourselves and call this sensible. but suffering is not sensible when it can be relinquished.

the eye contact and physical touch I prioritise with my son instead of making insta videos and writing articles, feeds my business. in presence everything reveals itself. the success always lies in the moment, in the surrender. this way, you are always taken care of.

everything is connected, and the money you want to make is directly linked to how you fuck your partner and if you prioritise your pleasure over your work. but these are hard learns, and even harder to put into place when the conditions of the mind have been so forceful for so long. to be a success, I must work externally. but the internal is the external.

in the dark womb we form and all is predestined. the internal creates the external and the external can only be transformed from the internal. it is a riddle we have long forgotten.

so what we want isn’t what we want, and learning to give ourselves what we actually want, is hard work. we want to feel enough; we want to feel worthy of love and enjoyment of life. life isn’t a punishment, but a gift, but knowing this is one thing, living it, another.

worshipping the moon is a good place to start, if you ask me.

all my blessings,

Hannah xoxo

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Some Beautiful Offerings ~

~ The Devotional Activation ~ This is your Devotional month of Magic. By using the Feminine Art of Tarot & Priestess Magic, you will move through blocks, fears, & re-template your nervous system to embody safety, & become magnetic to your desires.
~ Sacred Blood Ritual Recording
Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

desperate, with imposter syndrome that told me who was I to teach anything to anyone when I was stuck in a loop of fear, I put my son to bed, grabbed a blanket and some candles, and sat on my front porch. just me, my womb, some classical music, and the bare tree that takes cares of me with the energy of a fierce crone.

I went in to come back out. and the story that unfolded from my womb was a story of a lifetime….

as I sat in my womb I noticed Giselle, my Tarot ancestor who I made connection with in a past womb ritual. she was sitting next to me, holding me in her arms. I told her my woes and she held me close. she said,

“it has taken a lot to get here. not just in your own life, but in the lives of all those who came and went before you. sit with me a while. you are safe.”

so I did. I felt the urge to do, to force, to hurry the answers I was seeking, but how can the wisdom come in the busy? we need space for our bodies to talk through us.

I was a star then, hovering high above Giselle. she asked me,

“do you see now?”

but I did not. I still felt the fears and concerns I came to her with. I did not feel light. I did not feel wholly made of love. I still felt pulled down by my non-trusting heart.

“it’s ok.” she said. “you will.”

I was in a dark, cold wood then. no leaves, no colour, nothing but snow and black trees and branches. I laid down on the ground, like a fallen star, and looked up.

I let the earth crawl over me. animals came and sat with me, and still I stared at the stars. I was frozen with fear. I had seen some shit. I lay frozen with my fear and watched the night. the sky came closer and closer until I was imprinted into her night bosom.

I asked to lie here forever but she told me I had to move, despite the fear. then a hand was reaching for mine to help me up. she smiled. she wore a purple dress. she was a friend, a sister, and we walked together.

I was in a green lush forest then. there was music, log fires, and happy people, and I saw him. my lover. you, who I have known through lifetimes. our eyes locked, just like in this lifetime, and we knew. we have always known once our eyes met. but he was with another. he was not mine in this lifetime, and we felt the weight and sorrow of that.

as he sat with another, I sat forlorn on a log with my legs crossed, in my purple flowing dress, and watched the fire dancing and the people laughing. and then I was dancing with my sisters.

we flowed with grace and passion in our hearts and feet. the people watched and clapped, and he watched too. we both cried, him watching, me dancing, knowing what was not to be ours. but as the dance sped up, the timelines opened - as they tend to do when you dance.

and I saw you here. I saw our meeting in a future very far away but as sure as the ground under my feet. the moment we would meet again and have this lifetime together. we both smiled then, still with grief in our hearts for the time that must pass, but knowing that pass it will.

I was the star again then. in the womb, floating above Giselle. she said,

“now do you see?”

and I did. in my body I realised that it was all being designed for me. that I was being taken care of, and always being guided towards love. that love was my guiding force and that Giselle and the purple wearing dresses and all the stars were always holding me in complete safety and love.

my body shone with love and understanding. I was light. I understood. I was always going to be ok. it was always going to be ok because we were being held together by the strongest force in the universe. love.

I floated back down and sat beside Giselle once more. my fear and insecurity left me as the tears ran down my face and neck. a story had unfolded, one I had not planned to see but had given her space, my body that is, and she had told me a story of a lifetime.

I said thank you to Giselle and returned to the material realm.

I said thank you to my fierce crone tree and bowed to her.

“thank you for my life, divine mother,” I said, and went back inside.

the story, in the prison that is language, is difficult to get across. how could language process and communicate life, in all its glorious feelings and motions and magic.

what we seek will not come from the rational brain alone because it is tied to the limitations and beliefs of language. but the body; my oh my. the body speaks in colours and feelings and love and fairytales. the body speaks quantum. this is why the work is so transformational - it transcends all limits.

all my love xoxo

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Some Beautiful Offerings ~

The Devotional Activation ~ This is your Devotional month of Magic. By using the Feminine Art of Tarot & Priestess Magic, you will move through blocks, fears, & re-template your nervous system to embody safety, & become magnetic to your desires.
FREE Sacred Blood Ritual ~ 29 July
Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

The curse

The Hermit comes to break the curse that anything, especially knowledge and wisdom, is outside of ourselves. everything we need to know, is in us.

The Hermit always brings a pause that implores us to go in. this is because what you seek out here, will not be found out here. true knowledge and wisdom comes from internal reflection; illumination in solitude. the inner world is of course, a micro universe.

we tend to want everyone else’s opinions and ideas, which can be a beautiful source of connection and community, but the thing is, people give advice and commentary from their own experiences, which governs their own perspective. this is not a bad thing at all, but it can be kind of a moo point when you are talking about what you need. how could anyone else know what you need except you?

moreover, our false matrix promises to give us everything we need to feel safe and secure. we become dependant on this system for nurture and guidance in lieu of a deeper connection to source. we are then manipulated in our ‘unknowing’ that we know nothing.1

and The Hermit goes much, much deeper.

going in isn’t just personal reflection. the body, the womb, the heart, hold great wisdom; from our ancestors, and from the earth, ocean, and the cosmos (also our ancestors). going in isn’t navel gazing and ego interpretation - it is going into the depths of ourselves where the thinking mind no longer has a voice and the body speaks to us with love and clarity; pre-verbal wisdom that transcends limitations and structural beliefs.

this is why mountains are often seen in The Hermit Tarot cards - they symbolise hard terrain that leads to spiritual enlightenment. this comes from discipline and rest yes, but also an opening and surrender to what wants to be known.

“…spirit descending into fertilised egg to an adult human, retraces the entire evolutionary path of the consciousness of the universe.
We ‘know’ everything.”2

this enlightenment and wisdom found within is a remembering. by going in, we start to remember our power as the nature of our bodies start to speak with us. we do not need to go outside of ourselves, nor are we children that need our ‘parents’ constant vigilance and recommendations for what is best for us (politicians, government, systems, parents).

This is the curse The Hermit comes to break.

Why we think we don’t know anything except what we’re told

our system is set up on the basis that our parents know everything and us as children, must listen to them always. parenting has a authoritarian whiff to it, even if you don’t parent like this.

if we don’t respect or listen to our children’s ideas and thoughts, always treating them as beneath us, when they become adults, they are so disempowered and uncertain of their voice, they turn to the next parent in line - The System.

this is Patriarchy. it sits on the notion that every relationship is hierarchal and therefore, there is an order, no matter what. respect and wisdom are given to those who are older and in positions of authority, even if they have done no work on themselves; even if they don’t know who they are.

power is given to those who form, and draw power from the Patriarchy, and to do well in life, we must listen to them because, what do we know?

a hierarchal system seeks to keep the power in the hands of a few, and what better way to direct a crowd of people to the path that most serves their interests, then pushing them away from their own inner wisdom. this allows the top few to keep us in neat lines, in a state of codependency and distrust in ourselves.

Capitalism, which has become, in lieu of spirituality and ritual, our god, also doesn't encourage us to pause, reflect, listen, and take our time.

but nothing can substitute the wisdom of the body; that which has frequencies from the beginning of time, and instinct from those before you. that which can create life. that which can move, dance, feel, grieve, bleed, and orgasm.

what could be more threatening to such a disempowering system than a person who looks inside, not outside. someone who knows and loves themselves fully cannot be manipulated. they cannot be bought. they rise above the noise and tread their own path through the world.

this person is the revolution the system is terrified of; one who is their own authority.

this is The Hermit.

The Hermit’s story-tale

The Hermit typically depicts an old man standing on a snowy mountain peak, holding a staff and a glowing lantern. the staff symbolises spiritual authority and wisdom gained from your own experience.

he takes a pause in the dark, where all the creative work happens (think the womb), and moves forward with that knowledge. he knows the spiritual journey starts and ends inside, not outside amongst the noise, distraction, and the wolves.

the wisdom from this darkness is pre-verbal; which means it transcends limitations and labels. it is quantum. it does not seek to bind you; it seeks to set you free. it seeks to show you it is all possible.

The rest of The Hermit’s transmission is for paid subscribers. This includes:

• The continued Hermit’s story-tale, and its wise portal.

• How the Era of Remembrance is a journey inward and why this is so important in becoming magnetic to your dreams.

• Your Hermit’s practice of devotion to embody the card’s codes. this is ritualist, devotional work. this is how we make change. the work is in the practice.

• A Transmission of Invitation to come into embodied safety, and work towards trusting yourself completely.

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, and break curses around money, love, and pleasure. in safety we open to receive.

join me xo

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

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when you do the hard thing that asks much more of you - your comfort zone, a confrontation with your ego, doing the work you know is good for you that you don’t want to do - the pay off is huge. huge.

when you do the easy thing, sometimes the safe thing, the distraction, the problem, you get nothing but the distraction. and it ends. it always ends. and takes away from you in the process.

here is the thing, it’s a fine balance life. but more than getting the balance right, it’s about getting the what you do right.

if you’re fed up, pissed off, exhausted, always head above water, craving magic, wanting more, the question is this - do you want something different? or are you addicted to the shit?

for some, they will like to complain and have the problems they have to just keep having something to complain about. this is ok. know this - it’s all ok.

but if you sit up late at night and desire a change; a shift in reality, a change in perspective; in the way your life is being lived, then baby, you gotta do the work.

I say this as someone who was very resistant to the work. for a long time. I was scared mostly of what I would find when I took the lid off. I thought my mental intelligence and capacity to understand everything rationally was the answer.

it was not.

I was that girl sitting up late at night wanting it all to change.

cause I want it all. I want the money, the love, the cosmic pleasure, the bottom of the ocean and the light on the surface that calls me back up.

but the work is not what you think it is. it is not working harder at the office. it is not waking with the intention to be a better person; calmer, a softer parent, nicer to strangers.

it is not trying to be better, or more accommodating. it is not trying to be like him, or be like her. it is not apathy, or, ‘this is life’. it is not living in fear disguised as rationality.

it is not walking alone. it is not keeping safe. it is not being sensible.

it is something deeper.

the work is love. the work is surrender. the work is opening from the inside out. the work is going back to come forward. the work is drowning in your own death. the work is love. the work is love. the work is love.

it is a close look in the mirror where you hold your eye-line and don’t buckle at what reveals itself. you can hold that shame, that guilt, that self-hate, that discomfort and hold it keenly. smash that false self to smithereens.

it is dancing in the garden late at night and being overwhelmed by grief of all that you have held back over the years. then letting the joy come.

it is the sexual awakening that makes you feel sticky shame in every pore of your body and not trying to be a badass through it but simply sitting with it. forgive the girl painted with shame and welcome her into your arms.

it is choosing the meditation, the study, the movement, the grief, the work, over the comfort, the couch, the TV, the distraction, the excuses. not always. not always. but certainly sometimes. more than sometimes.

how are you spending your seconds, your minutes, your hours here on planet earth? how do you want them to add up in the end, for you. because this work my love, is for you.

it is weeping with your hands and knees in the grass and feeling all that comes with that level of emotion. can you let go and be ugly, pathetic, weak, silly, childlike, vulnerable, real, alive, here.

it is coming back to life. going in, despite the dread and discomfort and cruel, tangy words of the head that is trying to protect you but holding you back. it is the heart flung open in total childish love.

it is hate, anger, grief, despair, joy, pleasure, arousal, erotica, shame, guilt, selfishness.

it is one big bear hunt. you come across the long grass, and the sticky mud; the snow storm, and the cold lake, and you can’t go over it and you can’t go under it. you have to go through it.1 right to the core. right to the seed of the fear.

it ain’t easy work but it’s natural and beautiful work, and the only thing that evokes that change you are wishing and hoping for.

so we can soak in that distraction that keeps us warm and sedated, or we can climb out, and feel the complete fucking discomfort from that cold, whipping wind, and get amongst it.

every time that ego tells you this is stupid, go further in.

every time that ego tells you this is pointless, go further in.

every time that wound tells you not to cry, go further in.

every time that trauma tells you your body is dirty, go further in.

every time that conditioning tells you to be invisible, go further in.

meet your edge. meet your soft self. meet your magical self.

do the work because you love yourself silly. do the work because under it all you know you deserve better. do the work because fear is safe but love is liberating. do the work because you are a child of the stars and the revolution is remembering that.

p.s keep scrolling for some beautiful offerings xoxo

I love you xoxo

Some Beautiful Offerings ~

The Devotional Activation ~ This is your Devotional month of Magic. By using the Feminine Art of Tarot & Priestess Magic, you will move through blocks, fears, & re-template your nervous system to embody safety, & become magnetic to your desires.
FREE Sacred Blood Ritual ~ 29 July
Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

3 is said to be the number of the universe, and it is very interesting when you start to get into it. since I have been thinking about this, I have started seeing both the number, and the symbol of 3, everywhere I go. and it niggles me, this number of the universe business. is it trying to tell us something?

let’s take a deeper look….

3 has always been revered throughout history, mathematics, and philosophy, as a fundamental unit of balance, creation, and structure.

it was said by Nikola Tesla that 3 is a key to the universe. that 3 is the ultimate vibrational frequencies of the fabric of reality.

the number 3 is defined as a feminine spirit, representing divine spark, creativity, and flow. it is symbolised by the triangle, the simplest shape to hold form, and the most stable. It is dynamic, spiritual, and unfettered.

we have the three faces of the Goddess - the maiden, the mother, and the crone, which also encompasses the cycles of the moon, nature, and all life.

we have the three fates who spin, measure, and sever the ‘thread of life.’ all female, all dictating the cycles of life we cannot escape from. even supreme God Zeus was bound to their decrees.

The 3 Norse Norns - Urd (what once was), Verdandi (what is coming into being), and Skuld (what shall be). They tend the roots of the world tree, Yggdrasil.

The Hindu Tridevi - Saraswati (goddess of creation and knowledge), Lakshmi (goddess of preservation and wealth), and Parvati/Kali (goddess of transformation and power). They are the essential energy of Shakti that empowers the male trinity (Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva).

In Tarot, The Empress is numbered 3. she is fertility, nature, and the mother, symbolising the creation of life in all its forms. without her, we all perish. she represents the primordial feminine; the deep ocean womb where all life on this planet sprung from, and the cosmic yoni, which the universe was born from, and all will return to.

3 on its side can be seen as an M, which can be a symbol of a woman giving birth with her legs up. the yoni in the centre is the portal from the spiritual to the material - the portal of the universe that moves spirit into matter.

3 points make a triangle, and when the triangle points down, it represents the yoni, which represents the dark interior where all life is birthed from.
this down-pointing triangle also depicts a chalice or cup; the Holy Grail. The Holy Grail, sought after for spiritual enlightenment and divine grace, which can be found in the cup of the yoni - the Womb, which is a holograph of Source.

The cup, or bowl, is primordial. there must be something to seed; something to create, hold, and birth life, before anything else. to forget this darkness we all come from is to disconnect from the one truth; we all come from oneness.

The Vesicle Pisces & The Gateway Womb of Creation is 2 circles that come together to make 3 spaces, so similar to the vulva in shape. “The rhomb or diamond was said to be the sign of the Virgin Earth, that is, Mother Earth at the beginning of creation.”1

in all this symbology we begin to see that 3 can hold it all (the triangle which is the cup that holds life). it is not polarising like 2, but rather non-judgemental. it is creative, powerful, and everything is allowed.

“The feminine essence is a vibration of Love that embraces everything with complete non-judgement. Everything is allowed… it is the force of Life itself.”2

could it be that the number of the universe is pointing us to the essence of the feminine? not as the superior sex, but as the primordial frequency of the universe, which is LOVE, and feminine in essence. union in essence. not separation from the whole, but part of, always, of the Great Cosmic Mother.

“It is {the feminine dimension} original innocence, soft, kind, earth based, life affirming; it unites man and woman, brings tribes together….it restores an inner ecology of communion.”3

I am not referring to a God or Goddess of the universe; to denote such energy to the masculine or feminine is a hierarchical distortion. I am referring to a vibration of love which is feminine in essence, and the very frequency of the cosmos. a vibration of birth, death, and rebirth; of chaos, magic, nurture, love, kindness, earthiness, and intuition. of peace, union, and acceptance.

when we look at the four elements, air and fire are masculine. they are the spark, the cutting energy that moves forward; that which destroys to make room for something new. it is outward energy; it goes searching; hunting for life it can grab onto and change, for better, and for worse.

water and earth are feminine. the key difference between the masculine and feminine elements, is really the ability for the feminine to hold things together. the ocean held all earth’s life in her water womb, before we sprung forth to where we are now. earth is what nourishes us and keeps us alive. without her, we do not exist.

you can see why the feminine essence can be seen as one of Love - it is here to hold, birth, and create life.

we were all once one with our mothers, sharing her body in unison, no matter what sex. one with the feminine, in her water womb, in such a state of profound union that our lives are a riddle trying to find that union once again.
I will never forget my uncle mentioning that a heroin hit was like being held in the womb once again, a feeling so addictive and seductive, it submerges some completely.

“There’s nothing brave in walking alone,
Love in exile has nowhere to go, so come on home…

We were doing so well, but you were scared to be held
Took the easiest way out
I see the tears of a man too proud to reach for a hand
Well, let my love keep you safe now”

Olivia Dean ~ Rein me in

as a baby develops in its mother’s womb, its perceptual framework is one of, “I and the Mother are One.”4 we then separate from this because modern culture has trained the rational mind (masculine) to think it is superior, therefore seperate, from the One. but the thinking mind, just like everything else on this planet, is held, and emerges, from the dark, feeling, magical void of the Mother. any idea or concept of superiority and separateness is an illusion. and one that has made us deeply sick and sad.

so maybe 3 is trying to point us back to this very union. an alchemical secret of the two flows of life force - not one being superior or stronger or better than the other, but coming together in perfect union, existing in the third, fabric of reality - LOVE.

all my love xox

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The Devotional Activation ~ This is your Devotional month of Magic. By using the Feminine Art of Tarot & Priestess rituals, you will move through blocks, fears, & re-template your nervous system to embody safety, & become magnetic to your desires.
Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

“Menstrual blood contains stem cells, which hold an incredible regenerative power to not only heal, but to renew our immortality….when they [menstrual stem cells] ‘switch on’ we embody the blood of light, the fountain of life.”1

I have always thought it strange that periods were treated like some shameful passing; that they had to be suffered in silence, with tampons being passed to each other like some form of contraband material.

I remember years ago in an office I worked in, my friend asked me in hushed tones with her hand over her mouth for a tampon. I asked her why she was ashamed of having her period? after all, every single person who exists on this planet is because women have their periods. why would shame be the dominant emotion for that? for the literal blood waters of life?

my whole life I have always felt strange. standing in a pounding, sticky bar at the ripe age of 27, I asked the cute boy I was seeing, ‘doesn’t this all feel kind of empty to you?’ he looked at me like I had two heads and called me what I have spent my whole life trying to run from: INTENSE.

I have always desired ritual and magic. I have always felt like I was a part of something bigger; deeper, wilder, feminine. I have never bended easily to culture trends around women. I have never allowed them to dictate how I treated my body. I never felt shame for my period, I never waxed my bush off, and at the ripe age of 39, I have had no work, nor do I intend to. but I realise this was a part of something deeper.

in the recent years of shadow, womb, and grief work, I have opened a portal to my priestess lineage. these women have visited me numerous times, in movement, prayer, or meditation. most recently they formed a V behind me, each ones hands linked to the next’s shoulders, with me at the front. I am the next in line for this work. I am a priestess of devotion, sent here to evoke beauty, presence, joy, courage, peace, & interconnectedness in women.

my priestess lineage, while it lived in my sub-conscious for quite some time, kept me grounded in a way that made me feel different. it kept me close to the earth and humble. in this world, that is strange indeed.

humble - derived from the word humus, meaning earth.

I now see this lineage kept me virginal; not in the chaste Christian way, but in a sovereign way. no one owned my body or soul. I held on to a sense of primordial womb consciousness that I was not consciously aware of.

so now I find myself in a sacred blood love affair with my period. and I can’t help but ask, why is our period shame so insidious?

so ritual around menstruation stopped. our mothers weren’t initiated like their mothers weren’t initiated, and periods were passed through the female lineage like a pain in the backside. there is no ceremony, no celebration, no initiation into this very potent and powerful blood flow.

and of course, there is a reason this sacred blood work stopped. the dominance of patriarchy and colonialism and the brutal systems that burned witches and turned wealthy, powerful priestesses into whores and slaves. they diminished their powerful, ancient work, and turned it into black magic and heretical doings.

by doing this they pushed the most powerful and longest running religions of the womb, underground. women continued on in fear, safe in their invisibility, and the wisdom of such rituals were lost to the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit.

we forgot who we were - what we were.

GOD.

periods were relegated as a pain in the arse; something to dose our bodies with pain killers so we could continue with the rigid structure of our culture - never sitting in ritual with our bloods; not even resting with our bloods. something powerful, potent and deeply regenerative, was reshaped as ‘gross’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘foul in smell.’

but our period blood holds our babies. how could anything that promotes life be gross or disgusting or foul? this is the blood that gives us our children; where they first form and take their nutrients from. this is the blood that gave you life, and every other person on this planet.

shame for this has been insidious because the powers that took this deeply feminine ritual from us wanted to cause us pain that transcended generations. the shame kept the pain in secret - such clever workings to keep us hidden from one of the most powerful facts: the womb is a holograph of Source, and holds the codes of life.2

why would an empire built on men and dominance want women anywhere near that sort of power?

you could say the biggest appropriation of our time was men stealing these very ancient feminine rituals around menstruation, and painting it over their male Christianity.
but we are here now.
so what can we do with this time, right now, to connect back with this great power?

I sat in ritual with my period last month. I free bled on a towel, and for 45 minutes I went through a death and rebirth that was nothing short of frightening and awe-inspiring. I faced off with my own self-hate for my yoni. I activated the red womb dragon, who stared at me with such ferocity and close proximity I could feel its breath; until I realised I was the dragon and was looking at myself.

as the pain intensified I went into it and drowned in my blood water. I was reborn as my child self, who walked side by side adult me, through the passage of my yoni, spreading flowers as a token of healing and beauty.

the transformation from this ritual has been nothing short of miraculous. my business has thrived; I have stepped into a confidence I have never really felt, albeit may have faked. my skin started to glow; my joy started to penetrate my usually dull mornings. my hair even sat better. I was less triggered, and more present.

the first time my husband and I had sex after the womb ritual the shift was palpable. I was able to be seen; I was able to be present; in the body, with the act, and allow the love to wash over me. I have spent 10 years in therapy trying to work through these intimacy issues. after one womb ritual I have shifted pain that 10 years couldn’t move.

it was a release, recharge, and renewal. after all, ceremony with blood was celebrated as just this - a chance to shed and upgrade, with the great healing codes of life.

“If a womb conceives life, the lining forms into the placenta to nourish the baby, but if a child is not conceived, the same lining that would have formed the placenta becomes menstrual blood - rich with stem cells and consciousness-altering properties that can open the ‘doors of perception.’”3

sacred blood rituals were such a beating heart of priestess work because of these consciousness-altering properties. this was not only reserved for women, but men too, who held spiritual womb awakenings by going into ritual with the women who bled.

we are here to shed and grow. we are here to go in deep and open our eyes to the wonder of the body’s knowledge. we are here to celebrate the wonder of life. we are here to grieve. we are here to activate, recharge, and renew. we are not here to grow stagnant, lost in Pinocchio’s carnival of distraction. what sits inside us is not scary - it is magic. even the dark. especially the dark.

the tides are turning. no one knows what the future holds, but this awakening that many women are going through is not of random consequence. we are remembering because it is time - an Era of Remembrance is upon us, and the codes lie in our body, with devotional ritual and magic.

I love you xox

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I will be holding a FREE Sacred Blood Ritual soon; dates to be confirmed. if you are interested in attending comment below. otherwise, you can follow me on Instagram for updates xx

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The curse

The Lovers come to break the curse of not loving ourselves fully and wholly. while The Lovers represent union, love, and partnership, they also represent choices, harmony in opposition, and the relationship we have with ourselves. after all, romantic love and self-love are one and the same.

when I met my husband, the love he showered me with was unlike anything I had experienced. still to this day, 10 years later, he is unrelenting with his love and devotion to me. he supports and adores me fully. but, because my relationship with myself has been somewhat fraught (due to trauma), I have never entirely let him in.

this is why the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have; it dictates all the other relationships in your life. no one, no matter what, can love you enough to fill the void of your own self-love.

while The Lovers depicts the masculine, the feminine, and in some cards, the inner child (the heart), this can also represent the polarity in yourself. we must allow both the masculine and feminine to thrive within ourselves, otherwise, we are quietening a part of ourselves that we do not deem worthy of a voice. in other words, a part of ourselves we do not deem worthy of love.

this, in most cases, is always the feminine, for both women and men. we have been conditioned to think the feminine is soft, weak, and useless in this dominating, brutal system. we all have wounds of self-hate due to this.

but actually, the feminine is strength in the face of chaos. it is magic, nurture, creation, and intuition. it is birth, death, and rebirth. the feminine is the destructive force that cuts out that which does not serve us anymore.

only when the feminine and masculine are entwined in a dance do we thrive. we cannot thrive with a dead self. we cannot thrive if we only love parts of ourself. we must love it all.

this is the curse The Lovers come to break.

Why we have been pushed away from feeling whole

how did we move from wholeness and inner peace, to this? because a long time ago, we were connected, both to ourselves and the world around us. but now we are fragmented in every possible way. science has been separated from the sacred, the masculine has dominated the feminine, and the mind and body connection has been completely severed.

we have been dominated to choose a side, instead of accepting harmony in opposition. if I believe in science, I cannot believe in the sacred. for my masculine traits to be strong, I must suppress my feminine qualities. this is not coherence; it is coercion. using threats, degradation, and intense pressure, our society has undermined our very nature: duality.

but it has been designed this way. if we feel empty and inadequate; like something is missing but we do not know what, then we are susceptible to forces that seek to sell us our peace. only by feeling like this do we fall into the trap of consumerism on a mass scale. only by being fragmented on every level do we lose our sense of self; our connection to humanity. only by feeling less than, are we easy to manipulate and control.

if we aren’t whole in here, then we will spend our lives wandering for something out here, that will never be found.

while our dogmatic religious structures tell us we are less than; born with sins, and immoral with our pleasure and lust, The Lovers come to show us that it is all natural. the ugly and the beautiful, the dark and the light, the soft and the hard, the lost and the found. only by loving it all and surrendering to the parts of ourselves we have come to feel great shame for, do we find inner peace.

only by loving it all do we not let those parts we deem ‘unhealthy’ control us. the more we force something to submit, the deeper its rage to be seen becomes. loving parts of yourself that aren’t necessarily ‘moral’ doesn't mean you go out and do terrible things. it means you accept the darkness of life, as much as the light. denying it lets it control you; loving it lets you forgive it.

The Lover’s story-tale

The Lovers is governed by Gemini. both symbolise union, communication, choice, and duality. Gemini represents the ‘twin’ archetype, which depicts dualities like spirit and body, masculine and feminine, and the conscious and sub-consciousness.

you hear people say, ‘she has two faces like a Gemini,’ like this is a bad thing. but we all have two sides; actually we all have multiple sides. we are neither wholly good or wholly bad. but the choice lies with you about who you want to be; who you want to show up in the world as. it is always a choice, just like love is always a choice. it may not be an easy choice, but life is not easy.

this is The Lovers story-tale.

The Lovers is governed by 6; recalibration. it signifies a choice, after an extra element has been introduced (five), and moving forward with what has been learnt in the dark. a realisation that duality must be acknowledged and allowed to thrive, in both romantic love, and self-love, otherwise, we fall short of the human experience.

The rest of The Lover’s transmission is for paid subscribers. This includes:

• The continued Lover’s story-tale, and its love portal

• How loving yourself gives you everything you have ever wanted.

• Your Lover’s practice of devotion to embody the card’s codes. this is ritualist, devotional work. this is how we make change. the work is in the practice

• A Transmission of Invitation to come into embodied safety, and work towards a loving relationship with yourself as things come up

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, and break curses around money, love, and pleasure. in safety we open to receive.

join me xo

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

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I recently had a woman come into the shop where I read Tarot. I did not get a good feeling about this girl, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt as she fluffed around the point she was trying to get to. her point, was that she didn’t think she should have to pay for a Tarot read, considering it is sacred work.

I hear this a lot in the spiritual and sacred community. that healing, energetic work is sacred and therefore, it is unsavoury to ask for money.

this girl was talking about climate change and identity politics; by all accounts she was ‘progressive,’ yet it all seemed tokenistic. because in reality, she was standing in front of a woman, undermining her right to work and get paid for it. she was actually upholding the system she was claiming to be fighting against, which is essentially, money in the wrong hands.

this is very, very clever manipulation because it shames those looking to conduct work outside of an unfair and unjust system, making them unable to do their work. if you don’t get paid, you can’t exist in this world. it’s as simple as that. this doesn’t mean you support the exploitation of capitalism - it means you need to survive. and actually, making money off your own back is one of the most righteous ways to do this because you are not adding to a exploitive industry.

it is manipulative to act like money doesn’t matter. it is manipulative to pretend your lifestyle is accessible to everyone when you come from generational wealth, yet do not disclaim this. working, and being upfront about selling, is not manipulative.

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this is the thing; if you are doing the work yourself; if you have integrity and believe in what you do, then asking for money is a simple energetic exchange. everything is energy, including money and the work you do, and an energetic exchange is the oldest thing in the book. before we had money, we had trade. an exchange of something you need, for something I need. an energy exchange.

moreover, energy must always be in motion. this is a spiritual concept - keep it moving. the hoarding crisis of wealth and ‘things’ has hit an all time high. we aren’t meant to hold onto wealth like a life-raft - we are meant to circulate it. but we learn from the ones at the top, who hold theirs tightly and claim they never have enough, even though they have enough for 88 lifetimes. this isn’t wealth; it’s scarcity and it does not serve us, or the planet.

furthermore, attaching shame and guilt to money, especially around sacred women’s work that was once highly valued in the community and gave women wonderful and safe wealth, is a clever way to keep women poor and disempowered.

and this goes deeper.

this is about our relationship with money and the shame that has been associated with it; specifically around asking for it. and this is a deep woman wound.

money does make a lot of women uncomfortable. it is not something we talk openly about. we are so programmed to come off as simple and easy, happy with whatever comes our way, never asking for more. men ask for pay rises, while women write lists about if they deserve a pay rise. men talk loudly about how much they earn, but it is crass for a woman to do so.

this girl who came to see me had a money wound. that is why she was undermining and shaming my business. she felt it was unsavoury to get paid for the work I do because that is her story. if I had been a man, I doubt the question would have come up.

power, sex, and money, all things that women have been conditioned to be very uncomfortable holding (and very threatened by a woman confidently holding), all lead into one another. historically, these have all been not only taken from women, but shamed, over and over again.

wealthy women are greedy capitalists, while wealthy men are clever geniuses. women’s wealth is always taken under a microscope of not being deserving, being deceitful and greedy, yet the world’s wealth, which is obscured, and mostly acquired unethically, lays in the hands of men.

women who haven’t looked at their own curses around money, sex and power, will project them onto other women. it may even come from a protective place; a place of fear so entrenched they think they are helping you with their shame.

it might also come from an unconscious place, where the wound resides and calls the shots. either way, unfortunately, you cannot save everyone. I cannot make wealth and thrive if that energy exists in my energy force. I cannot stay small to keep other women comfortable. actually, I must thrive to set them free. even if it doesn’t appear that way to them.

the work I have done around money has shown me that money is an erotic energy that floods the body with pleasure, the same way sex does. of course, this doesn’t make our relationship with money any easier, considering that women have also been conditioned to feel great shame for that pleasure response too.

but money is abundance. money is love. money is peace, choice, and freedom. money is balance, bliss, and truth. money is not shameful or dark energy, but pure light. if you seek money from the hard work you do, that seeks to help others, and care for your family, this is blissful energy. leave the shame and guilt for those who do not want to do the work. shut the door on their energy, and open up to those who support you.

I am doing the work. I raise my prices and sell my products. the more I reveal myself, the more some people become uncomfortable. the more people unsubscribe. I sit with the sticky shame of being seen, of asking for money, of not being invisible like I have been trained to be; like my lineage of women were trained to be.

I am doing the work so I can hear a woman seek to pull me into her wound and step back and say, thank you for your time; goodbye.

so if you are someone who needs to hear this today, know that I see you. I support your journey to be wealthy, healthy, and wise. I support your journey to make money and help your children thrive. there is nothing pious about being poor, and there is nothing wrong with being paid for your work.

look the shame in the eye and hold it with love, but make sure to step out from under its darkness. this is the time for women to be seen. it has been prophesied

I love you xoxo

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“In many ways, our minds torture our bodies in this age. We think we know what is best….we steamroll over their [bodies] natural cycles, we pump them with artificial drugs if they express pain. We follow beliefs, fads, rules that crush our natural harmony….we rely on our logical rational mind to navigate rather than our deep inner knowing.”1

my mother gets told she has less than 6 months to live and my world gets smaller and infinitely larger. I am shocked by the horrific nature of grief and also, its nonchalance. my mentor tells me our greatest quantum leaps happen when we go into our deepest wounds. go where it hurts, my book also tells me.

I wait for the tram that I have caught a million times to take me to mum’s house. the cars and city and waning lights used to thrill me; now its a reminder that this world made mum sick and no one will pay for that. she has asbestos cancer.

I put my son to sleep and then sit on the floor and cry. I can’t be away from him these days; he is the only painkiller I crave. weed is good but only if you want to go under your grief, then have it come at you with the force of a fire breathing dragon. I don’t want to go under. I don’t want to not be here, although the allure is like a siren’s call.

I pray to my ancestors and my purple wearing priestesses, Mary, and the night sky for refuge. to hold me through this. I am so relieved I have faith; that I believe in something. that I have contact and connection with the spirit world. how would I hold on if I believed in nothing?

people say things like, ‘stay strong,’ which translates to ‘don’t fall apart’. as if being strong means skating the surface and pushing it away, opposed from going into the dark.

my husband reads a book on grief rituals that says people are terrified that if they go into their grief, they won’t come out. the author assures them that if they don’t go into their grief, they won’t come back.

I go with my mother the day she is told her news and when I get home, I am not of body. I kind of spin round, like a leaf in the wind, in disbelief and hilarity.
but in a low point; when I hold no defences to my grief, I feel the air liquify and move - like it is channeling something and we are shifting consciousness or timelines.

the postman arrives at the exact same time and delivers a book into my hands that I ordered, but had not expected for quite some time. it is the Magdalen Manuscript.

I open it straight away, standing on my front porch. I am enthralled from the moment my eyes hit the page. the author says something that I can’t stop thinking about; that these practices of Mary’s have had transformative impact on his life, and he cannot deny the truth of that - whatever your thoughts on the book.

this book comes to me as I begin (or start to remember), my journey into my own priestess lineage, being courted by my ancestors and the earth. I have been learning and practicing this priestess magic, and see these rituals keep me healthy in mind, body, and spirit. because it all has to be healthy.

instead, our biological and energetic bodies have been trespassed on to the point of emotional and physical sickness. we are encouraged to flatline our emotions, and disassociate on a massive level. distraction is a 24/7 carnival that swallowed Pinocchio whole.

the linear ‘progression’ of life is inhumane. I speak to a nurse who tells me we all have systematic trauma now because nothing about this system cares about living entities. everything about this society encourages sickness, disassociation, and containment.

the ancient feminine rituals we once practiced, kept us open, balanced, interconnected, and at peace. if we have that of mind, body, and spirit, how can we go wrong? when this devotional work was practiced for over 300,000 years (maybe longer), we lived in harmony with the earth and each other. that’s why we lasted 300,000 years; not 3000 years in this brutal, dominating system that is collapsing onto itself.

but the colonisers religion (where this brutal system took root and claimed their power) didn’t want us connected or healthy; certainly not magical, or at peace with Mother Earth. so they made earth dirty, the feminine a whore, and we all fell from grace.

but as I descend into the depths of this grief cycle, this remembered Priestess magic keeps me alive. Magdalene’s magic wants me to thrive. she wants beauty, freedom, wealth, and great pleasure for me. she wants me to love, and be loved. she wants me to feel deeply, and know who I am. she doesn’t disempower me and tell me anything is outside of myself.

she tells me I am the portal.

so I go into the womb where all the codes of the universe are remembered. I speak with my tree friends, and dance in revelry with the evening wind. I go into ritual with my grief, not rushing through it like it’s an inconvenience, although, sometimes I do.
I am slow. I cancel lots of plans. I keep warm. I tend to myself with devotion and magic so I can show others the same. I see how this devotional work transforms my life; my nervous system, my fear response, my connection to self.

I go on shamanic priestess journeys through my body and find releases I have waited a long time for. I dance and my purple wearing priestesses of my lineage dance with me. my mother is dying and my life will never be the same, yet still, I find beauty and peace.

this is the word we have been kept away from.

it is said that the Grail Knights pledged their alliance to the feminine path. that they have fought to let the feminine waters run free to heal and restore this land. this is the magic I begin to breathe.

the quantum shift I felt the day my mother received her news, was of this very priestess magic; this feminine line being rebirthed into the world, and my part in sharing her story. that our healing, of all types, lies with remembering the magic of the natural world, and her devotional practices that shake off this slumber we are in, and return us to the garden of eden.

I love you xox

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grief is our deepest connection to life. nothing shows you true love and magic, like the grief of realisation that it will all end.

The curse

The High-Priestess comes to break the curse of containment grief. grief is a portal, and it must flow to make room for new rewards and offerings. your cup can’t hold anything new, if you don’t empty it.

grief is of the body. it is deeply feminine, chaotic, not at all linear, and deeply powerful. grief is the key that takes you to a new level. but when we do not feel our grief, we stagnate.

grief, when felt, transmutes to pleasure. to space, to lightness, to joy. it unburdens us, while deepening our connection to earth, and each other. it doesn’t let go of what we no longer need - it transmutes it into fuel. it is a portal to the other side - to the room you so badly want in, and whatever is waiting for you there.

when we start doing grief work ritualistically, our bodies begin to crave it, like exercise, or the sun. this is because the nervous system begins to link it to release, and renewal.

The High-Priestess honours grief. as a portal herself, she understands the importance of these passages.
she is the portal from the material to the spiritual; from the masculine to the feminine, and, grief to pleasure. she knows nothing is more than anything else. this is why she holds both black and white orbs in her hands, and gives to the earth evenly from both. this is why she stands on the earth’s inner core crystals - we cannot be afraid of the very dark we come from.
no my loves, this is where we draw our power from, she tells us.

Why we have been pushed away from our grief

everyone thinks grief is morbid. that sadness and darkness are draining, and suck everyone down with it. a lot of the time, we think grief is depression. but depression is numbness - it is not feeling. feeling is good. it means you are no longer disassociated; you are allowing your body to pray.

grief is not depression, nor is feeling your grief going to lead to depression. this is what we fear. this is what we have been told. we are always being contained. we are always being shamed for being alive, and feeling the world. but we are spirit in a physical body - we are meant to feel life. and life is heavy. our refusal to accept, and feel this, has resulted in stagnation and disassociation on a massive level.

but feeling your grief will set you free.

it is not healthy pushing and forcing our bodies constantly to get over things. a wound that hasn’t breathed properly and is bandaged up quickly will fester under the unseen eye. and there is a reason we are rushed through all this heaviness and grief.

because in our grief, we remember our humanity.

in our grief we remember we are connected. we remember that life is dark yes, but so beautiful, and we remember we want to fight for it.

fear freezes us, but feeling our grief awakens, and moves us. it reminds us we love, more than we hate, and that love is the only things that matters. it set us free from that which does not matter. grief magic is powerful magic.

we are missing something fundamental to our health and connections with the curse of containment around grief. that grieving isn’t only a safety mechanism in the body to release tension, but also grieving is how we connect. it is how we become more compassionate; how we remember we are the same. it’s when we listen to that beautiful piece of music and know it’s about grief. and you want to listen to it forever. it is how we remember that we are real, alive, and connected.

if we refuse to go deep, we might fixate on the stuff that doesn’t matter.
to not feel our grief might fill us with rage, intolerance, and bitterness. that is what they want - us angry at each other, stuck in blame, never feeling and going under. but when we feel, we don’t resist. we become flexible, not fragile.

but the biggest thing about grief is, if we don’t move it, we don’t make room for anything else. some people move through it and it deepens their connection to the living. but some people can never go into it. it becomes a rage shield around their wounded heart, and all they can do is keep people away.

stagnant waters start to smell strange, and it can be dangerous to drink because it has become poisoned. what do you think it does to the body if we don’t move it?

this is why The High-Priestess holds both shadow and light. grief must be felt in the body, in the being, in the heavy, in the crying, and in doing that, we feel grief transmuted - as pleasure, as love, as truly living life. grief makes the world shine brighter. this is the portal.

The High-Priestess understands one cannot exist without the other, that is why she is governed by 2 - opposing sides of the same energy that play equal parts. without one, the other is merely a shadow.

The High Priestess’s story-tale

in some circles, The High-Priestess is seen as the highest, most powerful card in the Tarot deck - circles that honour the divine cosmic womb that gave birth to all life, and that dwells in the womb of every woman. in this way, The High-Priestess is life itself.

The High-Priestess is sometimes depicted as the Virgin, but this feels like a strategic bind of her great power. they want us thinking her power comes from containment and purity, when in fact, it comes from sensuality, grief, and being deeply of the earth. she is not afraid of the darkness; this is where she dwells.

The rest of The High Priestess’s transmission is for paid subscribers. This includes:

• The continued High-Priestess’s story-tale, and her grief portal

• How not feeling your grief is hindering you

• How your grief is a portal to real, tangible gifts

• Your High Priestess’s practice of devotion to embody the card’s codes. this is ritualist, devotional work. this is how we make change. the work is in the practice

• A Transmission of Invitation to come into embodied safety, and feel your grief as, and when it comes up

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, and break curses around money, love, and pleasure. in safety we open to receive.

join me xo

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

Subscribe now

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but the most potent chain that slipped away, was money is sexual energy, and we need to fuck it, not grasp for it.

in my sacral meditation, I journeyed into my heart and womb. In my heart, my ancestors and I sawed the money wound chains from my heart, and slipped her free.
in my primal, creative womb, where life is born, and the black hole that created everything sits as an eye portal, I fucked the green man of money.
Pan, Dionysus, Spring; whatever you want to call him - but he was green, he had horns, and there was wild, abandoned fucking with the energy of money.

Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it - Albert Einstein

let me backtrack. there are a lot of women saying this very thing - that money and sex are very linked. they activate the same parts of the nervous system. one and one are two, the energies of money and sexy are linked in the body, so to call more of that in, you gotta be sex and money.

desperation, hustle, scarcity mindset, begging, and having toxic relationships with money, ain’t going to call more money in. not for women like me - magic women, who want magic money. just like desperation, hustle, begging, and having toxic relationships with love, is going to repel real love.

we attract our partners by being adventurist, cheeky, sexy, real, raw, honest, fun, and playful. we usually attract our partners when we do not need them. we generally don’t attract our beloveds when we are strung out, desperate, and actively looking. how many times do you hear people say, I met them when I wasn’t looking, or, I was in a good place.

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I manifested my husband in the shower, and two weeks later, I was in his arms. the case of us coming together is nothing short of miraculous, and this man has been a gift to me for ten years now. I started to believe the universe was taking deep care of me that night.

but the night I met him, I was happy. I was treating myself with respect, and figuring things out. up till then, and I was 2 weeks shy of 30, I had lived my life for me, taking risks and adventures, and never giving up on what was good for me. I was brimming with the energy to call him in.

money is the same energy.

but me and money? it is a constant battle; an argument, a screaming match around the table, always desperate, always scared. it is not sexy, or playful. I am not seducing money, but repelling money, the same way I did with love for a long time.

our money wounds are not our fault. they are inherited when we are little, before we even know what money is. our money wounds also go back through our bloodlines - through my bloodline of Greek peasants, and war left women. money has never been safe; it has only come when we work very hard and very sensibly for it, and lots of money isn’t for the likes of me. my ancestral money wounds.

but these are storylines we do not have to keep alive. we can close the book if we’re not enjoying it anymore.

but if the blocks we are dealing with have nothing to do with working harder, but everything to do with energy and pain, then we have to do the energetic and pain work. we have to go into the body, not the mind, to clear these blocks.

so I am working my way down my body, through, and into my money wounds. the work is hard, but exciting. I feel the shatter of glass panes I have not been able to get around for years, despite being able to see through to the other side. my purple gown priestesses, the linage I come from, come from great wealth, and want to invest in me, their daughter. a connection has been made.

I see that money is an abundant energy that wants to be seduced and fucked like a lover, otherwise, why would it come hang out with you? this isn’t about being toxic sexy all the time; actually, it’s the opposite. it’s about total surrender, trust, and devotional work so you remember the truth. I remembered I was worth true love. I chose to trust the universe. I did not hustle or work harder to meet my beloved.

you don’t need to turn it on for money - you simply need to remember the energies you are playing with, and that you yourself, are made from the very stuff that made the whole thing.

this is the thing - every woman on that meditation spoke of the sexual awakening they felt when money entered their nervous system, as pure gold light. this is why pleasure, wealth, and power have all historically been taken away from women - because they all lead into each other. not because women aren’t meant for power, pleasure or money; on the contrary - I’d say women are destined for great money, power and pleasure - but because we are unstoppable with them. we cannot be controlled.

money is felt like pleasure in the body because it is good for us. it sets us free. we circulate it. we care for our babies and our loved ones with it. we can do what we love with it. when money comes from a place of devotion and love, money is meant for us - that is why it feels so good. it is not evil - it is sacred.

but even the feeling good has been turned on us by the religions of our time, making us feel like our dirty bodies are sinful in their desires. somewhere along the way, we stopped listening to what felt good in our bodies, and starting thinking it should all feel bad, to be good.

????

the Big Bang was a cosmic fuck that birthed our world. we are made from that very sexual energy. we are erotic energy - things are meant to feel good. money is meant to feel good - that’s why in its pure form, it does.

so I do the work. I will not be held back from my power, wealth and pleasure any longer. these wounds have held my feminine line down for hundreds of years. women have died knowing no pleasure, no wealth, no power. it is not privileged to want a safe and easy life.

our female ancestors don’t want the same for us. they don’t want more of the same for you, they want something completely magical for you. of course they do - they are back in flow, where everything is love. get in touch with them and you will see this is true.

I am re-templating my story; for them, for me, and the divine women to come. want to join me?

Mermaid Mary’s Transmission ~ Winter Solstice 22/6 ~ limited places
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do the emotional work, and get the rewards. I didn’t even notice that I was running on such a reward base.

in this day and age, nothing is useful unless it gets you a goal. and the goal is always utilitarian because that is the pyramid scheme we all live on top of. but what if the goal is to survive the night? will the work resource us deeper than the productive line?

a state of anxiety. pure desperation. what the fuck am I doing what the fuck am I doing what the fuck am I doing? with everything tumbling down on me like the fall of Rome, I flee outside, to the night sky. this house feels too small and my baby protests too much. there are too many screens and the floors always look dirty.

I stand outside, barefoot in the cold grass so I can tame my screaming mind with something real under my feet. what is left of the real world - wet green grass kept in a concrete square that is still mine to stand on as long as I pay $2390 a month to the dying old couple next door.

my mother is dying.

I am dying.

I am not where I want to be but where is that?

I am scared.

for my son.

for me.

for us.

I don’t know what I am doing or where I am going.

I stand tall, place my hands on my heart and womb, desperate to hear a guiding, steadfast voice. coax me to safety, I beg the palm tree. hold me like you do sometimes, I ask the women in purple dresses who live in my primordial womb. where miracles occur. where life started.

it unravels first as a sob. the tears fall, but not fully. silently, contained. but my mouth is wretched and pulled open from the despair.

my shoulders pull forward and I heave and moan and then they come; the women. they come to me. they hold me.

you are not alone, they say. you are never alone.

I let the night breeze wipe my tears away. I pick up my earphones, cover my ears with their soft leather, and get ready to breathe properly for the first time today.

it is not ecstatic dance; not in the way you might think. it is flowy and ancient; an old practice that has found me recently that helps connect the dots to those purple wearing women and me. my linage; my ancestors; priestesses from the ancient times.

I dance and dance, almost desperate. I open my eyes to the sky and look upon the tree that has held me for over 4 years now. my dear friend; you ask nothing of me but are always here. I devote my life’s work to you.

I flow and dance and the women come to me again, dancing with me, in a procession we have done a thousand times in different times. our hands create symbols and our hips serenade. my birth right; my role in the bigger picture. a priestess of devotion; of nature, of women, of love, of nurture, of pleasure.

as the dance becomes collective, it becomes trance-like. the music speeds up, and I feel like I am pushing through timelines, racing through pasts and futures, unraveling and unbinding and unseeing.

the song ends and I am here again. small feet in wet grass, with a woollen red jumper that eats my small body whole.

the crying and movement and praying to the sky is my devotional practice. I practice with discipline, hoping to see changes in my life. transactional changes.

but I realise this work is here to hold me, at my lowest, and charge me. it is to keep me safe and steady through the night; it is so much more than a ‘project with goals’. because I don’t need to achieve anything to be worthwhile. I was born valuable. so were you.

this is devotional work, to myself, my ancestors, and to nature. and just like that, I remember who I am, and where I am going.

all my love xx

Structure is what pulls things in. Like a spider web that catches the spoils, our bodies are our structure. When we are vibrating from being present & tending to ourselves on a devotional level, we ourselves become magnetic. Join me, to activate this magnetic structure ~ Mermaid Mary’s Transmission

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I am all for this. sexuality work should be done with women, in beautiful spaces, in sexy clothes. movement is integral to sexuality work.

but recently, in my own work, the biggest thing I have been working on; the biggest thing that has held me back from my sexual power, has been dismantling the container of ‘sexy’ and ‘pleasing’ within my sexuality.

as I move my body in the way it wants to be moved, it is not ‘sexy.’ it is wild and raw and primal and beautiful. I move to charge my body; I move to grieve my body; I move to activate and awaken my body. this is beautiful work and beautiful movement, but it might not look good to anyone.

are we more focused on moving to look good, or feel good? should our plight on feminine sexuality be getting weirder?

realer?

more wild?

still feminine.

wildly feminine.

as I start to ask for what I want, I start to hold the shame of being totally seen; of being ‘demanding’ and wild, not small and easy. not pretty, not pretty, not pretty at all.

in these primal, uncontained movements, I begin to unleash sexuality as a power, not an image.

“Wild means not living in captivity.”1

because true sexuality is more than wearing a thong in a dance class.

sexuality is comfort, otherwise it is performative. if we are concerned with how it looks, rather than how it feels, it is for someone else.

how can we feel good in our own bodies, so that we feel truly sexy and turned on, if we are uncomfortable? the idea that ‘beauty hurts’ has nothing to do with unleashing a powerful sexual woman, and everything to do with binding one. literally.

sexuality cannot co-exist without intimacy. if there is no intimacy; no safety, we cannot be truly free in our sexuality. again, it will be performative; it will be contained. it will not be real, wild, and raw.

this means sexuality cannot always be pretty, sexy, or cool, because it is raw energy, and raw energy isn’t always cute energy. of course, looking sexy and cool is a part of feeling sexy. absolutely - I love being cute and sexy. but not when it is the only objective to our sexuality.

sexuality should be free and authentic, and by authentic I mean as is.

wild

originates from welt, “natural, untamed state.”

the animal you came in as, before all the conditioning.

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We follow beliefs, fads, rules that crush our natural harmony2

sexuality is extremely vulnerable work.

it’s being seen in your fear, grief, and inner child. if you cannot be seen in the dark, you won’t be able to be seen in your light. you will be holding yourself back in shame and fear. it is not about having none; it is about expressing it truly, and then turning the shame into power.

sexuality asks that you be seen, as the wild animal you are. the sexual, primal, creature that you are, at your very core. not all the time. but the wild needs to be remembered as much as the civilised. bring the wild out in your grief, in your rituals, in your movement, in your sexuality. it is fierce power you can direct - once you remember.

3priestesses of old times practiced sex magic by cultivating the sexual energy within them; life force energy; primordial creative energy, and directing it with intention. sexuality can create life. sexuality can change blueprints.

these priestesses were in their wild sexuality - dancing daily, with rituals of devotion to nature, themselves, sex, and money magic. they were in communion with natural time, and their powerful, creative, and energetic bodies they charged with devotion. they were free to be in all their true power.

these women were revered and deeply respected for this powerful, ancient work. it also lead to these same women being enslaved, burned, killed, and their reputations tarnished in patristic religious systems.

every narrative of the autocratic religion that has set our moral compass, was designed with a purpose; to control, not free. this relates to the intimate space of sexuality, with yourself, and others too.

but no matter what, this power will always unfurl in this world because it is divine. our own sexual energy is a microcosm of the greater, luminous, pulsating sexual energy that created everything. it is wild and dark, and everything is born from it and returns to it.

is there any wonder this power has been kept on a tight leash? that culture trends have been created to keep this very power bound?

sexuality is vulnerable work because it steps into the silence of shame, where things have been buried in the darkness; where ancestral shame has laid dormant and frightened for years, and brings it into the light. not asking for forgiveness, but demanding space.

the journey to the shame that sits in every woman’s body is not a light trek, but a confronting and deeply uncomfortable quest.

stepping into powerful sexuality is courageous work. courage is what can rebuild the world, but to have hope for something better; to do the work for something better, is vulnerable.

sexuality at its core isn’t pleasing, it isn’t good girl yes, and polite obligation. it is firm, cutting, and powerful.

but sexuality is a dark well; jumping in is not for the faint hearted. this is mistress work; dark goddess work - it requires courage, devotion, and practice, but also grief and descent work.

warnings are required.

all my love xoxo

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The curse

The Emperor comes to break the curse of never saying NO. when we never say No, we end up saying No in all the wrong places. this is why a genuine No is so important, to not only get what you actually want, but to give you more energy in the right places.

The Emperor is powerful energy. governed by Aries and numbered 4, there are themes of power, fire, courage, leadership, and; and this is the thing that is always over-looked when we talk about The Emperor, stability.
4 is home, 4 is safe, 4 is regulated. we cannot be regulated or safe if we do not have boundaries; if we over-give. The Emperor understands this as a power, but also a gift. to themselves, and the people around them.

when we never say No, we become unstable. we are no longer in control of our lives. we get carried away, from wave to wave, never putting our feet in the sand to stop the current that has taken us in the completely wrong direction. when we don’t take responsibility for our life, we become a victim; and then blame others for our choices; self-victimisation - a shadow of The Emperor.

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what most of us don’t realise, is when we never say No to what we don’t want; what doesn’t serve us; what drains us, we end up saying No in all the wrong places.

we say No to playing with our children because we are emotionally drained from saying yes to everything else. we say No to new opportunities because we are scared, and have become small from over-giving and over-extending. we say No to trust, No to the universe, because the universe doesn’t know what we actually want.

“If you don’t say no, your yes is meaningless.” — Blair Enns

it is more important that we know what we don’t want, than what we do want. this will give us a genuine No. and then we must exercise it.

never saying No means you keep a bad man in your life, never making room for the right one. never saying No means you keep the dead-end job that makes you feel dead inside. never saying No means you keep people in your life who do not support you, who keep you small.

all of this energy that you keep in your life because you do not say No, brings in more of the same energy. that is law of attraction.

when we never say No, we do not cut off the dead weight. we do not invite new, aligned people, opportunities, and energy into our lives.

What we think NO says to others, and what it actually says

I had a close friend who worked at a cafe. she had a colleague who she became close with. my friend was a good worker, but always said yes. asked to work longer hours? - yes. asked to take in heavy, unsafe furniture? - yes. asked to work for bad money? - yes.

her colleague said No. work longer hours? No. take in unsafe furniture? No. work for bad money? No. by saying No to all these requests that were beneath her, she brought in what she deserved. she got paid better, she never had to work longer hours, and she didn’t have to carry back breaking furniture in.

my friend, who never said No, didn’t get more money. she had to work the longer hours and take in the furniture. and you know what else? she didn't get any respect. she wasn’t treated better than the other; actually, she was treated worse.

because we think saying No to others means we are bad; unhelpful, and will result in bad things, i.e loss of job, people walking away, not being liked. but in fact, when we say No, it actually marks a boundary. and do you know what a boundary says to other people? it says I respect myself - and I will accept nothing less from you.

nothing is more magnetic than this.

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The Emperor’s story-tale

The Emperor, through the eyes of colonisation and the patriarchy, has been confused as a leader of dominance and brutal power. this is not The Emperor in true form, but one enchained to The Devil; enslaved to power and money to feed a dying, lost soul. they are not in control, nor do they nourish those around them.

with no connection to themselves, nature, or where they come from, their only charge is to inflict pain that they themselves are in constantly.
The Emperor, in true form, feeds the pack. they put the pack’s needs before their own, knowing their role is to serve, protect, and stabilise.

~~~

1a plain upward-pointing triangle is the symbol of fire; the element of The Emperor. This establishes “upward aspiration.”
fire is the electricity; the spark of heat or light, that promotes life and change.

The rest of The Emperor’s transmission is for paid subscribers. This includes:

• The continued Emperor’s story-tale, and how it links to No

• Why saying No matters more than saying Yes, and how it attracts what you actually want

• Questions that welcome a genuine No audit in your life

• Your Emperor’s practice of devotion to embody the card’s codes. this is ritualist, devotional work. this is how we make change. the work is in the practice.

• A Transmission of Invitation to come into embodied safety, and make peace with a genuine No

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, and break curses around money, love, and pleasure. in safety we open to receive.
join me xo

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

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my beautiful dead body has been dead for so long. unsafe and confronting, a double air sign found her retreat in the mind. and the mind is where I have dwelled for decades - productive, sincere, disassociated, and numb.

my beautiful dead body waited so patiently to be woken up. to move, to circle, to feel, to weep, to grieve, to learn, to transmit, to live.

sometimes we must choose grief, to arrive at peace.

committing to yourself as a body of work, not in ego or perfection, but in devotion and discipline, will awaken, even slowly, the sleeping beauty that desires to open her eyes, see, and be seen.

I do less, but I reap more. I do less of the crap, more of the real.

I ritualise practices. I do a little bit every day. I rest from safety. I move from safety. safety is kind, creative, and gentle; in safety, I open.

how long have I not felt safe in my body? how long has fear tread the lining of my womb? my heart, my throat? but now I see it, and now I hold it, like a gentle mother. you can’t hate away your pain.

only love breaks curses. and curses we shall break.

I learn codes from the night sky; from the swaying palm tree; from my warm feet in the cool grass; from not running.
I learn codes from The Tarot. I am the conduit that channels stagnant grief into pleasure, like the High-Priestess, who feeds the shape shifting crows.

I remember my born worth and wealth from The Empress, and am visited by my energetic wealth funders - the priestesses of my linage in flowing purple dresses who speak through me, the message of the universe ~

love will set us free.

the codes of NO transmit from The Emperor where my freedom lies in my boundaries, not my submission.

transmissions of remembering, of a great and powerful magic that once walked the earth with reverence and connection. they come through when I read feminine teachings, when I share with others, when I slow, when I cry, when I touch my body, when I move my hips.
they come when I feel discomfort; when the mind critics of conditioning scream out in dismay for my rule breaking.

this is when I know it is true and real work.

when it shatters everything I have been taught.

sexual intimacy

intimacy isn’t just touching - it is surrender and vulnerability. but we cannot be vulnerable if we have learnt people aren’t safe. if we can’t rely on each other, we can never really be seen. that is a life I do not wish to lead.
I soften to my husband. I reach out when I desire, instead of pushing away for utility goals. a portal opens between us that allows us to break, change, and remake. nothing remains in the shadowy shame anymore. we choose each other, again and again.
there is desire and charge - after 10 years, the fire still burns, it just needs to be deeply tended to.

boundaries

I say no to jobs and people who keep me small, and take too much. the more I say an aligned ‘no’, the more aligned the opportunities become. I raise my prices with pride; I invest in myself with money and time because I am the the altar that I place gifts at; I am no longer the sacrifice. I say goodbye to the good girl who has run my life for 39 years, and speak my truth, no matter the hunters.

anger

I do not lose myself to the rage. I hold my heart and hold the emotion under the breaking rage.
when my anger comes, she comes with warning of injustice - that something must change, and I honour her. I do not smile to make them comfortable. I take back my energy wasted on the desire to be liked by the masses who choose not to see or hear me, or keep me small.

wealth

money starts to come with anticipation and joy, not desperation and panic. there is work, and then there is total rest. rest with no guilt. rest that invites a feminine magnetism of someone who knows their worth. Empress energy. the money doesn’t stop in rest, but trickles in, with no effort.

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beauty & youth

as I prioritise enjoying pleasurable moments, and allowing grief to drift unguarded, my body softens. I am not as sharp, and my beauty responds in kind.
I honour my body with exercise and movement and eating well. I also honour my body with pleasure, grief, and ritual with nature. she responds in kind. because beauty is softness.

presence

I have always been present to my surroundings, but with vigilant attention, not with safety.
so I sit still. I watch the moon in my own company. I feel calm, and do not push to run away from myself. I choose me over my son; over my husband. I open to the natural world, where leaves dance, and the sky tells me their secrets. I do nothing, and yet I receive great wisdom. I don’t force or push. I am present with my patterns as I put a hand on my heart and a hand on my throat. I rewire the ones that no longer serve me. I panic and get anxious, but I feel it, instead of moving from it.

grief makes way for pleasure

when I push on the bruise, I do not enjoy the discomfort. when I feel the emotion building, I seek to run. I am so uncomfortable, I want to disappear. but I stay. I stay. I stay.
patterns have lasted for their reasons - I do not seek the answers. I only need to go where the grief calls. I make room in my grief cup for joy and pleasure. I am alive, the grief reminds me; I am a survivor. shame keeps you hidden in the dark where eventually, nothing can reach you.

but grief is a key that unlocks the next door. pleasure follows suit.

a resurrection ritual for your beautiful dead body

this is to awaken your body.
we are spirits that come from a faraway plain - our bodies hold that energy so we can feel it all. it is uncomfortable and sad, but it is also a beautiful gift. one we will eventually close our eyes on, and always wish we had more time, despite the pain.

~~~~~

go outside when the sun has set. the dark holds the swaying hips in cover for those who struggle to drop into the body. a night sky is welcoming coverage. make sure you will not be interrupted - make this a clear boundary to anyone in the house who needs to hear it. honour your safety. protect it.

music is a must. I always listen to Lana Del Rey because she is the dirty, rotten, dark goddess of sex and pain, and the most beautiful muse for this kind of work, but the choice is yours, of course. something slow and sensual is good.

bare feet on the ground, take deep breathes into the belly letting it rise and fall, until you feel centred. bend into your knees, and start to make circles with your hips. try and keep the circular movement in the hips alone. this is a waking up; a generating of energy in the lower chakras and the spaces where a lot of us hold great pain. and deep unsafety.

move in little circles and then bigger circles, and try and drop into the space of the hips, and out of the head. try and let go and feel, rather than think. go with how your body wants to move. you may feel silly, or get stuck in the controlling strictness of the mind. that is ok, respond to it all with softness.

with love, say out loud, or internally ~

this is beautiful work.

I am safe and alive in my body.

I awaken my body with the life force that gave me life.

I break the curses set on my body that seek to keep me small and bound.

keep circling your hips, and focus your energy on your pelvic floor. can you feel a heat or a tingling there? or does it feel numb? it is ok, flood your energy towards that space. call it awake. where attention goes, energy flows.

slow the hip circles to a gentle stillness, and sway gently with the music and the night air. commit under the church of the sky that you will resurrect this beautiful dead body, and let her live fully.

do this ritual as much as you feel pulled to do it. it might take a while to feel connected and turned on in the pelvic space, especially if it has been numb for a long while, but you are a body of work that deserves devotion and discipline. commit to yourself.

I love you xoxox

transmissions coming soon…

I am starting a new transmission here. for over 3 years I have been writing to you, my loves, and it’s been a pleasure.

and now I want to share something beautiful with you.

every month I will start to share a Tarot card, and its magical transmissions with you.

nervous system reset

This is a remapping of your nervous system. we will be practising moving from love, not fear. we will be embodying our worth so we become magnetic in our energetic selves and therefore, irresistible to wealth, love, and pleasure. we will go where it hurts, and find under that grief, a fountain of pleasure to swim in.

why the Tarot?

The Tarot is a hero’s journey encoded with magical messages. each card has a story; an embodied practice and transmission, where if you heed their wisdom, you will find yourself waking up to your own ‘hero’s’ power.

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, break curses around money, love, and pleasure, and open you up to receive gifts.

each letter will include:

> The card’s story-tale
> The curses the card comes to break
> 30 day rituals & grounded practices to embody the specific card’s codes and offerings
> A remapping of the nervous system with transmissions of invitations to come out of the head, and into the body; out of desperation into desire; out of anxiety into excitement; out of fear, into safety.
> A measured positive shift in your life, in the aspects of love (self/partner), wealth, and pleasure.

next week is the first transmission in the series.
we will enter the world of The Emperor, the codes of NO, and getting what you actually want.

This will be a paid benefit to receive love, pleasure, and wealth codes.

join me, to embodied safety xox

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

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Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

this is why we, women especially, have been shamed so severely and thoroughly in the space of sexuality - they know if we are safe and sensual, our magnetism will be so potent, they will not be able to control us. and we will also have the wealth to back it up.

what they don’t tell us, is money is love. we are so used to seeing it in its shadow, we think it is dark and corrupt. money, when it flows through us, for us, for the greater good, is love. and we have every right to desire, and have good money that we flow forward, with good intentions.

pleasure is love that seeks to alight, free, and reduce stress.
money is love that seeks to alight, free, and reduce stress.

so ask yourself, what is your relationship like with sex; with pleasure, and how is it similar to your relationship with money?

do you hold on tightly to every dollar? do you find yourself restricting or limiting your sexual desire for utility goals? is pleasure a waste of time? can money not be spent without guilt?

do you spend your money as soon as it hits your hands? do you rush through sex, to get it over with? if you can’t hold pleasure, chances are, you won’t be able to hold wealth.

if money, like sex, is drawn to magnetism, what is your energy drawing in?

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the purpose of magnetism, is to hold things together.

the purpose of magnetism, is to draw things together.
my husband and I were drawn to each like magnets. this is the most common way we describe our first encounter; we were not in control of the magnetic pull - it was beyond us.

but here is what they don’t tell us about magnetism; it requires structure. the spider knows this. she works incredibly hard on her structure, i.e her web, but then, and this is the most important part, she rests completely in the centre. if she was to keep working harder and harder, the flies would not come. they would see her moving, feel her presence and energy, and fly away. she must surrender, for them to be drawn in.

we build structure to call in, and hold the gifts meant for us.

my husband was drawn to my structure - my lack of shame, my desire for growth, my desire for purpose and success. I wasn’t looking for a man the night I met him, but I had been working on myself; my structure. when I surrendered into a place of rest and peace, he was drawn in.

money is the same. once you create the structure, the flies will come. and you, in embodied safety, are the structure.

are you tending to your structure, or the structure of others?

when we talk about wealth and sex like this, we are referring to feminine wealth.
feminine wealth requires strict inner work. the emotional work is the wealth work.

hustle culture; busy as a moral virtue; accumulation, work with guilt, work with a whip on your back, is patriarchy wealth, and it is harmful to our minds, our bodies, and nature. this is why there is so much dark money around the world.

but feminine wealth responds to your inner work; your vision; your evolution. it comes to support you, and the work you do for the higher good. because you are nature, and the devotion and discipline you commit to yourself, is devotion and discipline for Mama Earth.

in feminine wealth, the surrender is as important as the work. it understands the spiral; the cyclical nature of the world. planets go into retrograde to prompt our inner work, then come forward once again, to motivate us. the moon, the sun, the flowers, the leaves, all go in, to come back out.

the perpetual hustle is not sustainable, nor is it natural. moreover, it does not sing to, or inspire most of us. but there is another way to bring in good money, and it has everything to do with structure, and embodied safety.

these are the secrets they don’t want us to know about money.

transmissions coming soon…

I am starting a new transmission here. for over 3 years I have been writing to you and it’s been a pleasure.

now I want to share something special with you.

starting soon, I will be sharing one Tarot card every month, and its magical transmission.
This will include:

> The card’s story-tale
> The curses the card comes to break
> 30 day rituals & grounded practices to embody the specific card’s codes and offerings
> Transmissions of invitations to come out of the head, and into the body; out of desperation into desire; out of anxiety into excitement; out of fear, into safety.
> A measured positive shift in your life, in the aspects of love (self/partner), wealth, and pleasure.

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, break curses around money, love, and pleasure, and open you up to receive gifts.

This will be a paid benefit to receive love, pleasure, and wealth codes.

join me, to embodied safety xox

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

all my love xoxox

Get your personal Tarot read via Tarot with Hannah
Tarot with Hannah Instagram.

after three years of wearing ‘this is what a witch thinks about,’ I have let her go. I thanked her, grieved her, but knew her time was over. Kali understands that we must destroy things to make room for the new.

The Intuitive Feminine is my rebirth.

The Intuitive Feminine is deeply knowing. it is divine and gender neutral energy. it trusts the information that comes from the body. it values being, nurturing, creativity, and receptivity. when we embody this energetic self, we become simply magnetic. nothing needs to be validated outside of ourselves, and we move from a place of safety and love.
the earth and stars made us, therefore we are the earth and stars. every other energy that circulates this planet is drawn to that very embodiment.

this newsletter is a return to embodied safety. it is a working body of Tarot, Intuition, and Being codes, set to break curses. it desires to make you magnetic in your body, so you can receive the gifts that are meant for you, in softness and in ease.

thank you for being here my loves xox

most of us would like to be more embodied, and spend less time in our heads. we would like to be less vigilant, and relax, with no guilt. we would like to manage our anxiety better; we would also like to feel sexy and magnetic in our skins; have a healthy relationship with money and love (partner and self), and not shun play and pleasure. we want to feel good, we want to be accepted, and we don’t want to fight ourselves all the time.

what we never really lean into, is the constant work. that the ritualistic is where we find the divine. this isn’t obsessing about all the things that go wrong in our head, and this isn’t working harder, or talking to ourselves with a harshness to be better.

this is simply being in the being in the body.

for so long I have run from myself.

I have worried about money constantly, and thought the answer laid in having more. I have struggled with sexual shame and receiving pleasure, and thought the answer laid in talking it through, and understanding it intellectually. I have struggled with rest and feeling safe in my body, and thought the answer laid in earning my rest and safety.

but my sexual shame compounded. no matter how much money came my way, it always felt destabilising. being productive resulted in an exhaustion that could not be satiated, no matter how many sleep ins I stole.

I have never stood still. I have never dropped into the body. I have never committed to myself with devotion and ritual. I have never gone where the fear is; where the skin bruises purple.

until now.

one day recently, a shift occurred. I suddenly realised my issues with money, work, and anxiety, were directly connected to my issues with self, my husband, and son. and they had nothing to do with more work or more money or more busy, and everything to do with more Being.

I vowed I would no longer make moves from this threat nervous system anymore. instead of filling the fear with busyness as a source of escapism, I was to put my hand on my heart and stop.
what is going on here? what do I need?
it is deeply unsettling to halt a pattern of survival. but a pattern of survival will keep you in just that - surviving. not thriving.

in the past I would exclaim to my husband, ‘I don’t have time for the work!’ then sit on the couch to watch a series about teenagers and their loves lives. no shame, no shame at all, but time I have, if I am devoted to myself. I just didn’t want to do the work. I was scared, and I partly believed that ease, softness, feeling, and being, would never give me what I needed. I needed security, money, success, and if all that worked out, everything else would.

but the emotional work is the wealth work.

I don’t want to be disconnected from my body anymore. I don’t want to always feel that work defines my vaule. I want to live a full life of pleasure, rest, ease, and receptivity, as much as a life full of purpose, work, and movement. I don’t want to hustle while feelings of inadacey lap at my feet, no matter how much I do. I don’t want to move away from my husband in anxiety because I think if I do the laundry, then I will feel relaxed.

so I put my earphones on and play Lana Del Rey’s, California, because it’s slow and sultry, and makes my body sway. I put a hand on my heart, and a hand on my throat, and close my eyes.

I feel deeply unsafe when my eyes are closed. I feel raw and vulnerable, and that’s why I must be alone. not all our work needs to be done with others, and not all of our work can be done on our own. it’s a balance we must strike.

as I sway, I reflect on my relationship with money - how we inherit our money wounds before we can talk, through our house walls and the conversations that take place. I am trying to break money curses that sound like, shutting up and getting on with it; working hard, hard, and harder to be sensible and therefore safe, and feeling ‘good’ money is not for people like me.

but I have glimpsed things in the shuffling timelines.

I can make good money, and be safe without doing back breaking, soul destroying work. good money is very much for a woman like me, even if I come from peasants and a single mother.

so I sway, hands warm on my chest and throat, and like a bolt of lightening, I feel the women surrounding me in flowing purple dresses. I know these women, the priestesses of my lineage, all the way back to the beginning. they wrap around me like petals to a bud, and I hear their voices in my heart as they tell me, this is the wealth work. this is exactly what you are meant to be doing. this is exactly where you are meant to be.

I cry tears of grief and joy, and feel a wall shatter inside me.

the next day I make $390 from Tarot.

because of course, a good and kind lover will be drawn to your open heart and belief in yourself. they will be drawn in by seduction.
money is the same energy.

if the structure is sound, deep rooted, and real, the flies will come.
the structure is your body, your intuition, and your relationship with yourself.

transmissions coming soon…

I am starting a new transmission here. for over 3 years I have been writing to you and it’s been a pleasure.

now I want to share something special with you.

starting soon, I will be sharing one Tarot card every month, and its magical transmission.
This will include:

> The card’s story-tale
> The ancestral curses the card comes to break
> 30 day rituals & grounded practices to embody the specific card’s codes and offerings
> Transmissions of invitations to come out of the head, and into the body; out of desperation into desire; out of anxiety into excitement; out of fear, into safety.
> A measured positive shift in your life, in the aspects of love (self/partner), wealth, and pleasure.

this is embodied work that seeks to bring you back to your body, break curses, and open yourself up to receive great gifts.

This will be a paid benefit to receive love, pleasure, and wealth codes.

join me, to embodied safety xox

$8 monthly // $88 yearly (one month free)

I am in the house, as thin as a match stick, in the front room with the lace curtains from another time. I am in the front room where my Nona slept before she returned to Greece, and I have woken from a terrible nightmare. I make my way down the thin dark corridor that is full of ghosts, to the other pitch black small room. this room’s darkness seems conceptual; like beyond the physical reality of darkness.

this house once housed a family of 6 who got off a boat after months at sea. when people tell me, ‘you can’t live in a one bedroom apartment with a child’, I think, of course you can. most of the world lives in small spaces. can’t and won’t are two very different concepts. but I digress.

I wake my dad as a scared little girl who has had a nightmare, but his wrath is mighty and formidable, and scarier than the nightmare. he is an angered bear roused from a deep hibernation, and when I look back now, someone standing over his bed was probably a trigger. getting woken up from the numbing sweetness of sleep was probably one too.

my feet brushing up against the flannelette sheets brings me back. I am playing a film clip over and over in my head, flipping it round, trying to view it from every angle. to understand it; to make meaning of it.

we look for relief and the answers in the head, but what is the mind except an overloaded hard-drive, sorting through the countless days and minutes, warping and changing them as we reach for them.

the mind will never be where we find peace. that is not its role.

my therapist tells me, we have been taught that safe is all the ‘good’ emotions. happiness, joy, excitement - this is where we assume safety lies. but she tells me this is not safety. safe is being able to be in the body, and feel it all. to know it all has a right to be here; no shame, no guilt, just human.

it feels like safety has been taken from most of us when we look at it like this. but it’s certainly attainable, if we are ready to feel it all.

I had my photo shoot yesterday for Tarot with Hannah. the weather wasn’t great but my tan was glowing. I had expectations of how it would go; how I would flow and step into my power.

but it never really happened. it was still me, in my head, in my body, uncomfortably getting photographed in a lush park while strangers walked by, gawking at the woman in flimsy costumes.

the portal of empowerment doesn’t open outside ourselves. it isn’t a sexy ZING either, but more a very slight attunement. films and contemporary culture act like an outfit, a moment, a sunny day, will have us stepping into our best selves. the clouds will clear and we will realise who we are, but really, that work is done in the body; in the silence, in the being, in the private. and it’s never a moment, more a body of continuous work.

so I let go of the illusion that I would be a different person in the two hours, and accepted that I felt awkward. I wasn’t glamorous or sultry or empowered, but I was safe, simply because I let it all be.

all my love xoxo

p.s I am birthing something very special, very soon. It involves Tarot, transmissions & rituals that will change your life, & wealth, pleasure, & love codes xx