I mentioned this on a call last week and my trusted thought partner and PR gal (Courtney), who I have worked with now for nearly 3 years, said: “Wait, you read?”

I was slightly offended, of course.

I guess it is fair as she knows me as a serious newspaper reader and that I am exclusively a holiday reader.

However, some holidays I am more or less successful with the stack of books I make James begrudgingly lug around. He bought me a kindle that went on our honeymoon, and I couldn’t figure out what page I was ever on - perhaps Jane Eyre wasn’t the right book to start there…that was the end of that for me. I like paper and anything to reduce screens.

Some holidays, my mind is more in motion and I am writing or my thoughts are in creation mode - others I am full into escape mode. Therefore, I have many unread or barely started books to choose from.

Having been reflecting on my bookcase and reading desires, I can not deny my preferences.

They clearly fall into two camps:

1. Personal essays that have to be real and funny

2. Transportive stories to another time and place.

   *Preferably young women making their way in life also preferably in Paris or NYC.

I also have this weird thing in which I like to read novels set in the location I am in. Meaning, I will wait until I am ACTUALLY in that location to crack it open…

As we are perched on the volcanic island of Ischia, Italy for the next week, taking in the sun, sea, and the magical natural thermal waters…and of course some Aperol Spritzes, it seemed like the time to reach for another edition of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels quartet.

I believe I left off on the 3rd book of the quartet - it looks unread…we will see if I crack it open. They are a heavy lift, long and impossible to keep up with the names even though she provides a form of a family chart to keep referencing - but they end up being worth the effort somehow.

Our holiday ends in the South of France, which I also just can’t help myself but to reach for my favorites for that area. I packed the classic Razor’s Edge by Somerset Maughan, but am slightly concerned how small the print is in my new edition… Left behind Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night (I re-read it a few trips ago), and begrudgingly unpacked my absolute favorite, Everybody Was So Young, about the Murphy’s essentially bankrolling Fitzgerald, Hemingway and the lot along the Riviera of the time…and also prompting my disgust for Hemingway and Fitzgerald too.

I also packed (a gift for my friend, but may need to read it first) A Vast Horizon: Artists and Lovers, Freedom and War, which I just picked up after reading the review in the NYT last week - everyone sleeping with each other and making all the great art (on the Riviera) of the time was irresistible.

The Dud Avocado is also a favorite fun “American Girl in Paris” from a young female writer’s first work.

And speaking of young women writers/tales - I have brought an unfinished carryover from last summer’s pile, The Best of Everything by Rona Jaffe along with The Group by Mary McCarthy (left at home). Somehow, I missed these treasures in my 20’s when my roommate Colleen (and book publishing employee) was managing our reading. In between Candice Bushnells and Kevin Kwans and my “How to Start a Business” and “Detergent Chemistry” textbooks.

Colleen did kick us off with Amor Towles’ debut of Rules of Civility though. And of course, I am partial to Gentleman in Moscow too after spending my Russian Summer of 1998 in Moscow looking out into the Hotel Metropol thinking it was the only chic refuge in all the city.

As for comic essayists, there are the classics - David and Chelsea. I recall loving (from Colleen) David Rakoff who we would probably still be reading if he hadn’t passed so young. Last week, I was thrilled to finally meet and slightly fangirl, Kristin Van Ogtrop, THE editor of Real Simple during its GREATNESS, but also the author of a favorite and inspiration to me, Did I Say That Out Loud?

I just started “listening” last year, preferably with the authors telling me their stories.

I actually started with my dear friend Amy Shoenthal when I was alone in Thailand seemingly feeling I was away with my friend as she narrated her Setback Cycle to me.

Since then, I am still listening to Graydon share his life and how all the greatness of Vanity Fair happened with a list of who’s who that are hard to keep up with. I am also savoring the stories of Keith McNally sharing how he created my favorite time in NYC (even though he isn’t actually the narrator, unable to do so from his stroke).

I still have Kitchen Confidential narrated by Tony himself, still on the top of my next audiolist.

Off genre, but I will drop everything for a long awaited new release from my old college pal, Andrew Ross Sorkin. This January, I tag teamed the book and audio to prepare for my “off the record” interview I did with him. It took a few international flights and 3 days hiking at the Ranch Hudson to enjoy his epic 1929. I had high ambition to reread Too Big To Fail, but that didn’t happen.

You will not find a who done it, romantasy, or sci-fi in my kit; my cousins and I were mortified the summer we found our mothers reading 50 Shades of Grey!

I love my Agatha on tele too much - from PBS to now Britbox.

There was a time in my Ralph Lauren days, when transporting/recreating lifestyle was part of my job, that I was on a steady ride keeping up with the British (and former Ralph Lauren London P.R., and godchild to the NOW King), Santa Montefiore. She painted incredible places with storybook love stories from Ireland, Italy, to the Argentine Pampas with her love of “aching loins.”

I often push books onto James that I know will never make it in MY queue - or anytime soon rather - So he has London Falling on deck, which I have seen 3 other people reading in the last 24 hours from London to Ischia.

I am still reeling from last summer’s listen to Careless People (after acclimating to the Aussie accent). Fair warning: read it, but be prepared to be traumatized even more about Meta! I can still picture perfectly floating one summer in Greece living along Kristen Hannah’s The Nightingale. I was so entrenched, I made James read it right after so we could have our own bookclub shared experience.

Mostly, I read the book reviews in the NYT & FT and know that is the most I will ever know of many totally worthy books. I couldn’t get through Less, but I loved the term “return of charm” describing his new Villa Coco; however, the FT was less generous about it.

But after attending a Writers Retreat (and yes, I just started the sentence with BUT), I now have a new endless source of inspiration from our fiery group chat.

Again, I will mostly live vicariously via their reviews and enthusiasm.

While I have yet to pick up my fabulous instructor, The Jessica Fellowes, of many novels including Mitford Murder Series, I have enjoyed keeping up with her on Substack.

And alas, who better to document the ultimate at home library than she?!

So I will leave you here with a true professional bookcase too.

You’re welcome.

(17) Swoon in June - by Jessica Fellowes - Your Fellowes Reader

P.S. I also think it is funny to see what is in the hotel reading collection left by guests.

Yesterday’s basket was very weird here…but today was a great step up!

The Laundry List Bookcase:

1. Humorists

2. Essayist

3. Paris & The South of France

4. Young Women Navigating Life in NYC

5. Historical/Transportive

6. Andrew Ross Sorkin

7. Amor

8. Graydon

9. Jessica Fellows

10. The Local Book Bin

I think it was my second summer with my house in Bridgehampton — over 12 years ago – that I realized my veg garden aspirations were flawed. I had dreamt of this perfect patch with tomatoes, blueberries, beans, and all…only to realize that my August rental and travel schedule coincided with the actual “crop” collection.

Let’s just say I have better managed my expectations and reality over the years.

Now, as the summer bounty is starting to come into its prime, I am packing up to head out – once again. So I’m using what little time I have left before I leave to cram in my favorite summer dishes.

Forever Girl’s Night Summer Dinner:

For YEARS, since my first apartment – our 6th-floor walk-up in the West Village – my dear friends and then roommates would often congregate for our cheap yet luxurious dinner together of tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, basil, and a fresh baguette grabbed from the Gourmet Garage just across the street on 6th Ave. This still remains a summer dinner staple for me today.

It is funny, too, because Colleen, my BF since nursery school and West Village roommate, and I also still have a pasta salad in our summer repertoire that we learned from the father of the children we both babysat for in middle school. (may he rest in peace).

Mr. McDonough’s Pasta Salad:

He used spaghetti, but I think bowties or spirals work well too, with garlic, yellow onion, fresh tomato, basil, mozzarella chunks, olive oil, and balsamic — just toss and serve room temp or cold.

Updated Summer Spaghetti:

I also like this summer Italian dish I picked up a few years ago – Summer Spaghetti.

It is important to note that I usually heavily edit my recipes – but never properly document them, so I usually never remember what I actually did. This one, though, I skip the capers and olives to keep it simple.

I am actually making this right now — it is an excellent dish to prep in advance and come home to whip together in minutes.

Salads:

I love having lots of salads on hand for ourselves, for guests, or for multiple-night leftovers. Like the ones I shared before here:

Bean Salad, Potato Salad, Coleslaw, and Crunchy Detox Salad

My New Caprese:

This summer I am very pleased with myself for discovering my new favorite go-to crowd-pleasing side dish. I ditched the mozzarella and replaced it with Halloumi.

It takes less than 5 minutes to pan cook sliced Halloumi, placed over sliced heirlooms, sprinkled with fresh parsley, and drizzled with my GOOD stash of olive oil.

I have always been curious about Amanda Hessler’s Brown Butter Tomato recipe; she features on her Substack Homeward. She told me this morning that this was an oldie from her fabulous Food 52. I am going to try it!

Corn:

James would have corn every night!

We wait for the local corn season here to make this winner – the Amagansett Corn Salad from my old favorite, Food52.

I am also into this one too, the corn and bean salad, which I turn more into a light main dish with salad.

The BLT:

As the NYTimes declares BLT season, James’ family and I took the challenge (and embraced the spirit). We enjoyed a Sunday lunch leaning into the NYT tip of griddled, buttered bread.

My neighbor is known for their BLTs and they swear by this special bacon they were gifted.

Swordfish:

One of my oldest friends and annual summer guests was here last weekend and requested one of our go-to dishes – Ina’s Indonesian Grilled Swordfish. Of course, we have every cookbook in our collection. This is the Hampton spirit!

Luckily, fresh-caught swordfish is one of the offerings at a local farmstand, Serene Green.

I like to serve it with a herby rice with onion too, inspired by my favorite Mark Bittman book, similar to this one.

Cornell Chicken:

I am a sucker for all things chicken and BIG RED.

I have to admit, we haven’t made the infamous Cornell Chicken yet this season, so I will put it on the list for next week.

Not only is the recipe good, but the origin story of how and why Cornell Food Science was tasked with encouraging people to eat more chicken – and why this is the perfect recipe to ensure success – is just as good.

Entertaining:

We didn’t host a big summer party this year to bring out my favorite big boards for hor d’oeuvres, aside from James’ birthday picnic HERE.

But I did get this wonderful gift from James’ nephew as a houseguest gift – The Cheese Board Deck – so I am filled with inspiration for the next party.

Instead, we had some nice, casual dinners with friends, neighbors, and guests. I just called everyone together for my END OF SEASON dinner party this weekend.

This is a time to see everyone before we reunite in the fall, but also to help us clean out the fridge!

And more importantly, clear out James’ summer ice cream making stash – which my neighbors are thrilled to help out with!

Dessert:

James is the in-house dessert maker and pastry chef and he is VERY committed to his Four & Twenty Blackbirds cookbook.

I did promise in June to share the recipe(ish) for James’ birthday dessert — the hybrid between Fruit Trifle and Eton Mess.

Now the issue is, James would die if I used the majority of ingredients from the internet recipes (i.e.: Jello pudding mix, cool whip, or store bought angel food cake).

So my version is a layered stack starting with lady fingers from Eataly, drizzled with excellent vermouth, next layer of mascarpone in the KitchenAid mixed with heavy or whipping cream (see loose details), topped with a layer of BIRDS custard from the UK.

Our friends from the UK insisted we bought Birds Custard for their favorite “Mary Berry” (if you watch PBS) cheesecake recipe…so it sits handily in our panty.

Then, layer with the macerated fruit and berry mix and bits, repeat, repeat, repeat…

The boozy, creamy, berry mix is a win! You can serve like a “mess:” easy and forgiving.

Taco Night:

This weekend we will be serving a build-your-own taco adventure – using the open jars of salsa, corn and mango salsas, the fresh corn and bean salad mentioned above, all the fresh veg, and a variation of the usual taco basics with the homemade seasoning.

Mediterranean Grill:

Our other usual go-to dinner (always outside) with friends and guests is our kebab mix of whatever is farm fresh – skewered peppers, onion, tomato, parboiled mini potatoes, summer squash – with olive oil and whatever herb mix I have handy, along with chicken chunks, and if the party table suits, a sausage.

It is the fun sides that make this dinner come together – always Labneh!

Labneh drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with Za’atar from our travels. (I think our current blend is from Jordan or Israel.)

AND

Homemade tzatziki my dear friend Daniela taught me to make (always with Fage 5%),

AND

Quick-pickled onions, pickles, and a toasted pita for good measure.

I am wishing you a wonderful end of summer with a bounty of farm-fresh fun.

Please share your easy summer go-to’s!

The Summer Cooking Laundry List:

1. Baguette Sandwich for Dinner

2. Pasta Salad

3. Corn

4. Ina & Mark

5. Halloumi Caprese

6. BLT

7. Swordfish

8. Cornell Chicken

9. Taco Night

10. Mediterranean Grill

You can read more about summer entertaining here on last summer’s Town and Country feature.

Don’t panic – it is just a short season for me, as we head out on August 20th with multiple suitcases packed to take us from summer holiday straight through the next five weeks and into the fall!

But back to summer and a jam-packed July.

July kicked off in NYC with parenting “my nieces” for their week of high school college Summer Schools weeks. After an exhausting week of this parenting business, I bolted back to Bridgehampton to make it back for a wonderful dinner and fireworks as a guest at the beautiful Devon Yacht Club.

It was a spectacular evening and the perfect Fourth of July festivness for me, so I happily (attempted to) relax and unplug for the rest of the weekend (including finally watching Off-Campus as planned).

That week I enjoyed two “playdates.”

On Monday with my childhood gymnastics friends, Kiya Tomlin and Dori Howard.

While Kiya and I have our annual summer beach playdates, I hadn’t seen Dori in person for nearly 30 years. Naturally, it was as if no time ever passed. Despite the rain forcing us to pivot from our boat plans to the dining room table all afternoon, we had an absolute blast together.

Then two days later, I had a playdate with my favorite, Amy Shoenthal. We did it all – lunch, a walk, and pool time! Talking shop, discussing problems, projects, and goals is way more fun this way!

Is this what they call summer-maxing?!

I skidded from daytime playdate to date night with James for our 15-year anniversary of “meeting” on the LIRR, celebrating with a gorgeous sunset dinner at Le Bibliquot.

This weekend is always my favorite of the summer with the East Hampton Antique Fair – and yes, I went back the next day and got myself into trouble…

The following week was loaded, from hosting the Entreprenista meet-up at my house to heading into the city first thing Tuesday for a full week of appointments, work, meetings, lunch with Courtney (the founder of the beautiful brand Cesta), dinner at the Waverly Inn with and Nachi Glick, the Cornell Entrepreneurship Summer Lunch at the Cornell Club, and the wonderful “Speed Mentoring” evening with the Repurpose Summer Fellows.

My cup was FULL by the time I headed back out east on the Friday morning bus.

Saturday, my Bagels with the Boys went live – my full NYC Apartment Tour with The Brownstone Boys. So fun!

The following weekend, published A Tiny Tour #008 of my tiny office at The National Arts Club. I would share my office with her any day!

The next week we celebrated our friend Paul Ebbitt’s 70th birthday with a surprise sailing party. It was scheduled for lunch, but due to an incoming storm, they pivoted to a breakfast sail. The rough seas actually made for an even more interesting and dramatic ride as we watched all the poor sailing regatta kids capsize over and over again.

I have been friends with Paul since our days working together at Ralph Lauren.

That Thursday, I was a co-host for a wonderful event with the fabulous City, Country, Beach ladies at TWP in Sag Harbor.

I honestly wasn’t that familiar with the brand until I went to shop for the gorgeous outfit I wore, and have already continued to wear on repeat since. I learned the founder is the designer, Trish Wescoat Pound, whose vision has been backed by her former boss, Andrew Rosen. My favorite part was learning that this beautifully made, well-priced collection is largely made in NYC!

We had so much fun. I met friends of friends who came, and afterward we enjoyed dinner at Il Capuccino in Sag Harbor with my friends Kiya and Shari, who came too.

But the cherry on top of the evening was the surprise shopper who showed up…

Friday was yet another photoshoot – this one in Bridgehampton – to take advantage of summer and shoot the NEW PRODUCTS coming out in September!!!

*News alert!!

I also had weekly meetings throughout July at The LongHouse Reserve, whose board I joined this year, as I have been working alongside the new director on some exciting initiatives.

I wrapped up the month with a last-minute decision to bop up to New Hampshire to spend the day at my aunt’s dreamy lakehouse with my cousins’ families while everyone was together for their summer holiday.

I did the same trip last year when my uncle had just passed, and I decided I wasn’t going to miss another opportunity to be together. This time, I was even able to get my mom to come with me.

We used to spend summer holidays all together growing up – mostly in Wisconsin, but sometimes on another adventure on the Jersey Shore or Martha’s Vineyard. Over the last 20 years, the Whiting family often joined their families in New Hampshire to all be together and enjoy their special summer spot – and our favorite pastime – FLOATING (along with eating and laughing).

I buzzed back to Bridgehampton in time to wrap up July by hosting James’ family visiting us for the first time from Toronto. We enjoyed the excuse to do all the summer things we don’t usually do or haven’t done so far – i.e. a day trip to Montauk to eat at our favorite (and their famous) Duryeas Lobster Cobb Salad and finally get to the beach!

Now back to my summer hit list. In the meantime, enjoy your August!

The July Laundry List:

1. Festive Dinner & Fireworks

2. Playdates

3. TWP

4. Antique Fair

5. Date Nights

6. Day Trips

7. Family Time

8. Lobster

9. Giving time to do good

10. Summer TO DO List

I am pleased when people comment that they enjoy following along on my travels and when I actually put the effort in to share one of my long travel stories on Instagram, many say they feel like they’re there with me — which I love.

I am happy to take people along for a glimpse of a tour, destination, or adventure that most likely they will never do themselves (like paragliding off a cliff in Oman 🙂).

So off we go:

Our Baltics Tour came about when James’ bike (nerding) friend and Backroads travel partner decided he wanted to do this ride last summer for this June. The tour is only offered for two months during the short summer season they get. Unlike us, who generally prize August, Scandinavia and the Baltics’ summer season is June & July.

The route is from Vilnius, Lithuania, riding north to Estonia via Latvia.

Since Finland and the ferry to Estonia were on my short list, I decided I needed to coordinate this trip for me to go as well, as the likelihood of James going back again seemed slim.

So we devised the plan last summer – James and I would arrive the week before and do a sprint tour in reverse from his bike route.

I had originally intended to stay the second week while he biked, and I would be-bop over to Sweden and meet a friend for a serene week somewhere perched on the Scandinavian coast.

That plan changed when I had to come back to NYC to host my “nieces” for a week of summer school. Instead, I flew home via Poland on Sunday morning to arrive in time for Monday school drop.

While this trip was planned for a full year in advance, and I even hosted a Summer Solstice Event for The Fill (which was amazing…and we will be doing again this fall on September 18), I completely failed to connect the dots that Summer Solstice also meant WHITE NIGHTS!

It is important to note upfront, that I have somewhat of a connection to this region, as I backpacked from Egypt to Moscow for the summer in 1998. So while I didn’t actually cross this path, but rather traveled through Ukraine and Belarus into Russia, I am quite familiar with the early post-Soviet transitioning society through the lens of 1998.

I mentioned in my last Fill Circle newsletter that the first time I experienced White Nights was in St. Petersburg, Russia in 1998 – which also came with the experience of the KGB ransacking our hotel room.

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I greatly prefer to be behind the scenes – or, at most, just a hand peeking into a product shot. So when the Brownstone Boys replied to a Fill Club introduction by asking if they could come over for a tour and have some “Bagels with the Boys,” how could I say no?!

I do relish in saying YES – and pushing myself to do things that are outside my comfort zone – so opening my front door to the cameras was a go.

I have to admit, it turned out to be a very fun hour. Giving the tour I’ve done privately many times for keen and curious design professionals, getting to banter about all the little design details that only a serious eye would pick up on.

So… here we are.

Welcome to my home!

Spoiler Alert: The common feedback has been that everyone wants to join them too when they come back for evening martinis.

Happy Weekend!

As this gets sent out, I am, ironically, in the midst of another photoshoot in Bridgehampton.

More to come…stay tuned!

The NYC Apartment Tour Laundry List

1. Say yes!

2. Bagels (poppy with cream cheese if you’re asking)

3. Stylist Donna Francis

4. “Butler Ben” Clawson

5. Architect John Hulka

6. Broker Amy Herman

7. Hair by Rachel McCants

8. Makeup Steve Schepis

9. Flowers G. Page & Tropical Plants

10. Loews Regency (when you can’t sleep in your bed…)

June literally kicked off in Saint-Tropez. However, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that I deliberately went a day early to spend 24 glorious hours in Nice in order to go to my favorite shop.

I LOVE NICE! But I think I will save that for another Laundry List.

I also love Saint-Tropez – but for totally different reasons. This time it was the absolute PERFECT backdrop for a girls’ special 50th celebration week.

Although, truthfully, I don’t think we were celebrating turning 50 nearly as much as we were celebrating over 27 years of friendship.

Courtney and I met in the Summer of 1998 at our meeting spot, the dancing fountain in Tel Aviv, with backpacks on our way to Moscow.

Maria and I had met 5 years earlier in the dorms of Andover, her boarding school.

Maria and Courtney were transfer roommates together at Brown.

Which then led to Maria and I in 1999 as flatmates in London. Did that track?

Along the way, I also folded into the Taft sisterhood with her younger sister Julie.

Needless to say, we have been on quite the journey together, from backpacks to…well, now Saint-Tropez.

Last Issue of The Laundry List, I unpacked our Marché haul and shared our trip itinerary.

The fun hasn’t stopped. We are still texting photos of ourselves wearing our new Marché purchases.

Only a girls trip!

I flew home on Friday and wasted absolutely no time getting right back to it.

Monday kicked off the Female Founders Camp in Montauk, where I was back on the stage again on Tuesday, here.

Then it was back to the city for my FIT Board Meeting, hosting a YPO lunch at my local club, Maxime’s. Then back to Long Island for two Fridays of back-to-back 30-minute catch-up calls to finally get everyone checked off my list.

In between, I caught up on all the errands and gardening I had left undone before leaving. I planted my herb garden and front porch planters with summer geraniums.

Driving around with my car completely filled with flowers was quite the scene.

Sunday, June 14th, was James’ birthday.

His request? A backyard barbecue with his tennis pals and their partners.

I made some of my summer favorite classics: Mark Bittman’s Potato Salad, bean salad, and my neighbor shared her Joy of Cooking Slaw recipe, along with chicken drumsticks to go with James’ requested favorite – Pat LaFrieda hot dogs from Eataly.

But it was my dessert that stole the show. My sort of made-up hybrid version of a Fruit Trifle and Eton Mess.

Back to the city…

More meetings, more work.

More doctor appointments including another cortisone shot in my shoulder.

James and I squeezed in an American Songbook Concert at The National Arts Club before they closed for the summer.

I hosted an amazing women’s breakfast Salon with my dear friend and collaborator, Amy Shoenthal.

And finally…a dinner with my Cornell fashion girlfriends at Rezdôra – a reservation none of us had been able to get for years…and it WAS GOOD.

Well worth the wait!

Back to the beach for The Fill Club Member Summer Solstice Event, led by Alicia Meek, an Intuitive Tarot and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner.

It was SO GOOD.

She took us through some powerful practices that encouraged us not to do more, but to do less…YES PLEASE!

A message I desperately need to hear and practice.

Reminder!

Paid Laundry List subscribers receive a complimentary Fill Club Membership – including events like this one, with recordings, worksheets, and member resources. If you’ve been thinking about joining, this is your sign.

Then on Saturday, it was the Madoo Garden Conservancy Market.

I filled my wagon with The Fill and set up my table for the beautiful day to be in the garden.

Starting a second chapter is funny.

You find yourself doing exactly what you did at the beginning all over again…

Schlepping. Schlocking. Setting up tables. Talking to every single person who walks by.

It was especially fun to reconnect with longtime Laundress customers while introducing The Fill to so many new ones.

And then the next day, we were off to Finland!

I’ll save the full story for another Laundry List, but essentially, James and I managed to fit five countries into six days on a whirlwind Baltic adventure.

More on that soon.

And alas…

I touched down on Sunday, back to New York just in time to greet my “nieces” (my cousins’ daughters), who I am hosting – “parenting” – for the week as they attend the high school summer programs at FIT and Columbia.

Monday morning brought my very first “school run.”

At age 50.

Needless to say…it has been a week!

All wonderful…but this parenting business is exhausting.

Wishing all my American readers a wonderful Fourth of July weekend.

And to my British friends…happy weekend!

As for me…I plan to happily spend some quality time ALONE.

A date with my couch. No talking. And binging Off Campus – under strict specific viewing instructions from my friend who is completely obsessed.

Cheers!

The June Laundry List

1. Saint-Tropez

2. Herb Garden

3. Summer Picnic Dinner

4. Berry Trifle

5. Rezdora

7. Summer Solstice

8. Madoo Garden

9. Baltics Tour

10. Summer School

I just learned what a “haul” is…

For those outside of the social media cultural zone (like me), it seems to be a trend on social media and TikTok showcasing obscene shopping sprees.

It seems I have been “hauling” for a VERY long time…just in private.

First, hauling for work many moons ago at Ralph Lauren, where our photographic evidence was captured with a Polaroid.

Then came my Laundress hauling years hitting cleaning aisles and global marketplaces in search of products, inspiration, and new clients.

And of course, there is the personal haul: my global travel adventures, where I always have my trusty LL Bean Boat and Tote in tow, ready to be pulled out and filled for the journey home.

Whether it is block-printed comforters from India, making room for yet another basket, or terry and sheets from Portugal just last year, there always seems to be space for one more treasure.

I was VERY prepared for my second haul to be had at the bi-weekly St. Tropez market.

James and I did an extensive French trip in the Spring of 2021. We booked during lockdown when the rates were relatively low (all things considered) and banked on optimism that France would open up in time for us.

This trip included hitting multiple spots along the French Riviera – including Saint- Tropez.

James and I had a wonderful time there- but I couldn’t help thinking:

This would be the BEST place for a GIRLS TRIP!

So when we started rallying the troops for our 50th birthday girls trip, I knew just the spot.

Each Riviera destination has its own distinct personality, and despite all the glitz and glamour, Saint-Tropez maintains a wonderful small-village feeling, with narrow pedestrian streets that all seem to lead from the town square down to the port.

The town square is the center of Tropezian life: a few cafés, the local newsstand, spirited games of pétanque (French bowling), and, on Tuesday and Saturday mornings, the Marché market takes over completely from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. SHARP.

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Very early in the morning, after my best friend from high school’s epic 50th bash at Balthazar – where I busted out my full ’90s Love Story-inspired outfit, which for some reason felt completely appropriate for the occasion – I boarded my first of two flights to London last month.

Off To The Cotswolds

I was en route to my writing retreat, The Open Page, hosted by Jessica Fellowes and Emma Defries. Set in the absolute pinch-me-I’m-in-a-storybook English countryside village of Chipping Campden.

While it is always so hard to step away for a week (let alone the beginning of May when a million things are going on), I am so glad I dedicated the time to think, write, be inspired, expand my thoughts, and experience this incredible week surrounded by amazing people.

We were in a wonderfully historic family home with so much history on the walls, we ate like royalty too- gorgeous garden lunches, round table dinners and cocktails and drawing room fun, only the Brits know how to do best.

And then back home for the weekend…

Movie Date

I got home at midnight on Friday in time for a Saturday Devil Wears Prada 2 movie date at Sag Harbor cinema and Sag Pizza. It was so fun to be brought back to that time on screen, but also to a full and Sag Pizza bustling theatre. That same night/weekend my mom, and numerous friends also ALL went to the movies too.

I have also enjoyed reading the thought articles about the film and cultural relevance like the ones from Financial Times and NY Times.

What also hit deeply, was the loss of shared experience that used to be the norm.

Huge Photoshoot

And then back to the city to step right into an ENORMOUS full-day photoshoot at my apartment, with merely two days to prep with my favorite collaborators!

(which also required James and me to sleep at a hotel the night before- another bag packed).

Sneak peek coming soon in July!

Speaking, Substacking, and Hosting

While it took me more than the rest of the week to recover from the exhausting shoot, I powered through the week: hosting an Entreprenista “office hours” on Wednesday, a Substack Live with Celia Chen of In the Pink on Thursday.

Celia and I got into the importance of laundry and home cleaning products, my aromatherapeutic approach with The Fill Club, and the advanced batching system that protects both your skin and your clothes.

Then two hours later, I hosted a French themed dinner party for 10 with my favorite chef Megan Huylo for my YPO (Young Presidents Organization) dine around.

I pulled hor d’oeuvres and aperitivo inspo from one of my favorite gifted books to be “Drinking French” by David Lebovitz.

Menu: “Drinking French”

Aperitifs:

• Citronnade Gingembre-Romarin (non- alc welcome drink- however some added alc!)

• Tangerine Spritz

Aperitivo Snacks:

• Warm, Marinated Olives

• Radishes w/Radish Greens Butter

• Baked Camembert with Walnuts, Figs and Whiskey Gastrique

• Deviled Eggs

Dinner:

• Little Gem Lettuce Salad with Shaved Fennel, Soft Herbs & Champagne Vinaigrette

• Beef Bourguignon with Pomme Puree and Haricoverts

Dessert:

• Strawberry Vacherin with Lemon Curd and Chantilly Cream (a slightly deconstructed version that is essentially an Eton Mess, but keeps with the French theme!)

• French Manhattan paired digestif

Gifts:

• Rosemary Bar Nuts bundled for takeaway

• And of course, A Laundry Bar

Cape Cod Hen Party

The next morning I was packing up the impossible carry-on bag prepared for all weather options heading to Cape Cod for my Cornell roommate’s/bestie’s Hen party weekend.

We got incredibly lucky with the weather cooperating for our beach bonfire and a gorgeous sunny day to enjoy my first true Cape Cod weekend. We even squeezed in some much-needed cold swims too.

It was the perfect celebratory girls weekend Hen Party for our favorite almost 50 year old bride!

Then this fabulous article with Sarah LaFleur and The M Dash came out the following week.

The M.M. LaFleur team so graciously gifted me the Milo pants in cream that I wore here for the shoot – and I continue to LOVE them!!!

May was also the month of musicians and polymaths.

All of us at The Open Page were polymaths of sorts, new to the craft of pen on paper after one or a few primary other chapters. One of them was Dhruv Kent, a Singapore-based Indian former investment banker turned musician, singer-songwriter, and all-around rock star. His newest release HERE along with his full collection HERE.

I am not particularly musical, so it was somewhat unusual that one of our very first plans in London was a concert. This time, it was another polymath, Tom Cherry.

Tom, a former British skier turned sports marketer and fitness expert, picked up a guitar during the pandemic. He has been writing, singing, and strumming ever since! You can enjoy his music HERE.

We were lucky enough to be part of his first sold-out headline show! Which somehow found James and me feeling super groovy in Shoreditch on a Friday night – effectively clubbing! 🙂

Onward

And on top of it all, I had a handful of meetings with exciting people and brand collaboration partners. I’m working on FILLING some new products too!

And then, on Wednesday, two new bags packed again (one for London, the other for St. Tropez), and I was back to JFK!

Next week I will unpack my St. Tropez suitcase here!

Stay tuned.

xo

The May Laundry List:

1. Balthazar

2. The Open Page

3. Devil Wears Prada 2

4. Entreprenista

6. Milo Pant

9. Cape Cod

10. Musicians

I left New York and my disappointing garden for the glory of London in bloom!

(I am pleased to report that my garden redeemed itself upon my return with peony season in full force!)

We also left NYC with probably the worst crap, cold, and rainy Memorial Day Weekend to ironically step into a full blown heat wave in London — the hottest May temperature on record!

All aboard my London tour here…

Read more

Somehow, by dumb luck, their V&A membership card ended up in my Apple Wallet, which allows us to prance right into all the top, often sold-out ticketed shows – including the current Elsa Schiaparelli show.

The V&A does wonderful fashion-forward shows twice a year. One can feel slightly miffed by how heavily sponsored they are; however, if that is the cost of putting on a good show, so be it. We walked through Hyde Park to pop into the bite-sized exhibit on our second-to-last day in London.

I studied fashion, shoemaking, and accessory design in London in College, so I am well versed with my fashion history, including Elsa Schiaparelli. I love revisiting that history bank and inevitably learning – or simply “seeing” – new things and details.

I was prepped for her surrealist schemes, and knew I would breeze through the new/current Schiaparelli 2.0 portions, however, I left brewing with such strong lessons and themes for success that I feel compelled to share here.

The Exhibit Intro: Fashion Becomes Art

Elsa Schiaparelli (1890- 1973) redefined fashionable taste and perceptions of beauty in the 20th century.

Born in Rome into a family of academics and aristocrats, she fled their conservative expectations, leaving Italy at the age of 23 to live a life that was anything but conventional.

This was in 1913…YOU GO GIRL!!!!

With no formal training, she launched her first fashion collection in 1927. Her bold, often audacious, haute couture creations soon made her the designer of choice for a confident clientele.

Within five years, Maison Schiaparelli employed 400 staff who created over 7,000 couture garments a year.

No training. Bold. Job creator!

Often designing to confront and shock, Schiaparelli’s radical approach embraced the new and experimental, resulting in clothes that were resolutely modern.

At the same time, her impact extended beyond fashion. Embedded within Europe’s creative avant-garde, she positioned her work in direct dialogue with art, design, and performance.

Start Safe: Use the Familiar to Make Big Change

What first struck me, knowing how sort of radical and expressionist Schiaparelli would become, is that she started with SPORT.

In her first few years, she made ‘for sport and leisure’ activities: knitted sweaters, simple tops, skirts, swimsuits (“bathing costumes”), beachwear, and ski attire.

These early collections reflected new ideas about modern living, exercising and outdoor pursuits.

Practical, easy to wear, and undeniably stylish.

What this really did was lay the foundation for Schiaparelli to create social movement for women through dress, using the safe and “acceptable” path of sport and leisure.

From there, she moves into creating the modern wardrobe, “soon becoming the source of haute couture for the modern urban woman.” This is how she was able to push trousers for women into the modern norm, which had previously been considered only “acceptable” for sport or indoor housework (in private).

This reminded me of how Ruth Bader Ginsburg advanced larger agendas through smaller, more carefully chosen cases. Both Schiaparelli and RBG understood that the greatest steps forward also require small, measured steps. While the change that arises from this may not be immediate or considerably drastic, it is the breaking of the familiar that will rewrite the script.

Practical, With Purpose

While Schiaparelli was designing for the ‘fashionably adventurous,’ she also designed with enormous practicality and purpose.

“Pour la Ville,” for stylish, yet practical daywear.

“Pour le Soir” for evening.

Her pieces are so chic and timeless that I would have walked out with any one of them today and still look current.

Elegant jackets were her signature, followed by her then witty, playful, collaborative accessories.

She truly created elegance with simplicity- just a small detail made a huge difference- the button, the placement of pockets, the fabric.

In 1936 she told the New York Times the crucial components of modern daywear were:

“one fur coat, one tweed suit, a dark tailored suit, a silk dress for afternoon wear.”

A very short time after World War II began, she designed a small collection very focused on pockets, made practical for ‘cash and carry’ war time living.

PRACTICAL!

Demand the Best of Others

She pushed her suppliers, vendors and makers to bring her the best, the newest, and encouraged them to try new things!

The confidence and curiosity to experiment and innovate.

This is truly an art form.

Make a Memorable Statement

One of her leading principles was to design in a way that “made people look twice.”

Her clients loved being seen and adored the attention from her amazing creations.

Creative Collaboration

Working with artists gave her “a sense of exhilaration.”

She worked at the center of a constellation of painters, sculptors, photographers, writers, and artisans.

Among her collaborators: Jean Cocteau, Alberto Giacometti, Man Ray, Irving Penn, Horst P. Horst, Picasso, and of course Salvador Dali.

She found affinity with the surrealists who embraced the absurd, erotic, and subversive.

While I have much respect for Mlle. Coco Chanel, she was not generous in spirit. She held contempt for her rivals (i.e. all the other designers, especially women).

Her slight about Elsa was: “The artist who designs clothes.”

Which frankly, I would have taken as a compliment.

Work with Joy

There was no exact quote or statement stating this, but I could feel it throughout her work: her subversiveness, her joy for accessories as thoughtful details, Shocking Pink, colorful hosiery, and playful artistic (and statement) expressions in her window displays.

She also loved playing with the media.

There is no doubt she loved her medium and she was the pioneer for co-collaboration.

Spirituality and Communicating through Symbolism

Elsa certainly wasn’t the only designer who connected to spirituality, astrology, or symbolism (Coco did too), but I was moved by the messaging.

Seeing and learning war history through fashion is always fascinating – and more emotionally resonant – as I get older.

I loved the simple yet powerful connections she made: Butterflies for metamorphosis, swallows in flight for hope and renewal. Even a jacket with vegetable buttons supporting the French wartime effort during occupation to help encourage homegrown fresh produce in her last collection before fleeing to the U.S. in 1941.

Retiring Without Selling Her Name

Elsa Schiaparelli closed her business and retired in 1954.

While there were no further details provided, my top line observation was this: she was 64 and had run her thriving business for 27 years.

She was done.

She did it. Thrived. Loved it. Finished and closed her chapter with honor.

I assume most people would think: Why?

She left money on the table…why have we not had her name and interpretations floating around like Chanel, Dior, Yves Saint Laurent?

Not until 2006 was the name and archive acquired for the House’s revival.

However, I get it! This was her name, her art, her SOUL.

You might know the details of Chanel and her tragedy (unsuccessfully) trying to buy back her name. Or How many times Frédéric Fekkai has sold and bought back his name…and of course Bobbi…

I am very grateful I didn’t use my own name for my baby...

Ironically, the same afternoon I saw this exhibit, the new “Fashion Edit” of AirMail arrived in my inbox featuring the designer Mara Hoffman.

While I deeply resonated with a lot she said, it was this bold move that I found uncanny still deep in Elsa’s journey:

“In 2024, Hoffman announced that she and her team would begin shutting down the brand. It had become too overwhelming to responsibly operate without outside investment (something Hoffman never relied on) or taking out a loan. “I would rather walk out of this beautiful point of expression, owning my name and not being in debt,” she recalled thinking at the time.

When the brand closed that fall, Hoffman had settled all bills, paid her employees, and even retained some remaining funds for herself. “It was a really elegant exit, considering what usually goes down in this industry,” she said.”

An elegant exit indeed – for both Mara and Elsa!

Ok, I did a little digging (as just to not misinform), and it was quite clear Elsa’s retirement was nuanced.

She had to hand over her business (as an Italian citizen) during the war, to her right hand, which ultimately did not survive without her. She was keenly aware of the diminished interest in her avant-garde style, as post war ultra-feminine styles prevailed.

Instead of changing her art form, she gracefully wrapped things up, was ready to retire and to move on. She lived comfortably in Paris, and wrote her memoir, “Shocking Life.”

Note taken, Elsa!

Elsa’s Inspired Laundry List:

1. Small details make a big difference.

2. Progressive actions can be small.

3. Collaboration!

4. No formal training? No problem.

5. Surround yourself with creative people.

6. Make people look twice.

7. Demand (or at least encourage) the best from the people.

8. Practical prevails!

9. Have fun!

10. Accessorize with intention!

However, I will also admit, as a homeowner always behind on my to do list – I do love a rainy weekend that gives permission to relax and get sh*t done.

Despite the fact that I have left my very long spring cleaning list largely undone at the moment – I LOVE spring cleaning season!

I still can’t help but get excited for a new season of rebirth and renewal. A fresh start!

While some may be suffering from allergies or others who only get excited to swing into summer fun, I still get excited for a spring cleaning – even if it is just a refresh or seasonal swap.

Since I will be away for the next few weeks – enjoying the English Gardens in full glory versus my sad-face garden – my spring cleaning list will be waiting for my return.

(I planted 180 tulip bulbs for only ONE to bloom!!!! WHAT TF?!)

Some of the cleaning delay may actually be for the best…like washing my windows further outside of the heavy pollen season.

Luckily, chores will wait. Sadly, I can’t manifest their completion. :)

However, I was hoping my mom would be manifesting some of them for me this weekend – except she bailed with the grim weather report.

My mom loves to take on the outdoor cushions that I leave outside year round – aspiring to some sort of Scandinavian winter lifestyle with sheepskins and blankets – despite never actually sitting in them.

The only things I get in return are super dirty cushions and even gnarlier filthy sheepskins! (I guess you actually need to sit in them to keep them clean).

My mother even went as far as washing said nasty sheepskin with tragic results. She dried out the entire skin, creating a crisp board that doesn’t bend, let alone drape over the chair anymore…

It’s not ALL cleaning wins in the WhitingDale household!

Twenty-plus years later, I am still learning and sharing my losses in hopes they become your wins. I digress!

Since stepping back into “cleaning for a living” these last two years, I actually highly avoid talking, writing, or sharing clean talk for anyone outside my Fill Members Circle.

Especially here, in The Laundry List: my place to share the fun stuff!

However, this month somehow became a fun spring cycle of talking clean, laundry, and care!

And honestly, it is way more fun talking clean with people who actually care – and who equally have, make, and create products they deeply care about.

kicked off my spring care season with a deep-dive, in-person chat she perfectly documented into what may now be the ultimate denim cleaning guide reference.

Then from and I chatted more about the alignment between clean beauty and clean home-care…how to live cleaner in general and also how NOT to over-clean!

And lastly, my live chat with on . We covered everything from travel laundry and panic stains to the best way to care for her gorgeous workwear – from white button-downs to white sheets and towels!

Trim Tab: The Bleach, The Stains, The Detergent + Hot Water

Today’s Laundry List is literally a snapshot of my “Spring Cleaning List in Waiting”…with a few of my expert tips.

The Spring Cleaning Laundry List:

1. Car

The Surface does the trick for bird poop, The Concentrate is excellent for an at home car wash, especially in pollen season

2. Windows

I’m partial to The Glass, however, many Fill members are religious with The Vinegar

Avoid paper towels for glass and mirror, a lint free cloth is best

3. Outdoor Furniture

The Concentrate is king for spring cleaning and large surface cleaning. Add an ounce to a large bucket and off you go- scrub brush, mop, etc.

4. Outdoor Cushions

The Stains & The Bleach – hot water, a good scrub brush and elbow grease!

5. Must/Damp

Spray The Vinegar for damp musty spaces & The Freshener for fabrics

6. The Grill

Soak the grates and any removable trays with The Bleach & The Dish overnight in hot water

7. Flip the Mattresses & Wash the Pillows & Duvet

The Woolens or The Detergent Night with warm water, don’t forget The Dryer Balls

8. Bird Feeder

Clean and soak with The Bleach & The Dish

9. Sweater Washing in Batches

Grab like colors and hand/machine wash a load with The Woolens. Turn inside out, in a mesh bag, tepid water, lay flat in shape to dry and de-pill as needed.

10. Puffers & Jackets

Inspect, pretreat, and wash washable items for the season – The Woolens or The Detergent. Dry clean as necessary to be ready for a fresh fall

I am wishing you all a wonderful long weekend, wherever you are, with or without any Spring Cleaning!

I will be reporting back with my full jam-packed London List!!

I am experimenting with a monthly recap, as my months are SO packed! This is a way to touch on a bit of everything and circle back in more depth to others.

Please don’t be shy to give feedback, suggestions, or requests at the bottom of every edition.

It feels appropriate that I am writing this now from the English Countryside, between breaks at my week long “writing retreat.” (You will have to wait until next month to hear more. :)

As March roared with fun, travel, and packing in projects – April was my applied “academic” month.

Taking a minute to regroup with Passover and Easter weekend, I was then off –full steam ahead.

I kicked off my Easter Monday (which of course isn’t a holiday for us), with a wonderful call with Jane Herman. I really haven’t talked CARE to this extent since starting The Fill – I actually tend to avoid it – but I would talk care any day with Jane. It was so refreshing to talk shop through our respective expertise (denim and care), along with our shared love of excellent quality, and respecting the things we own.

Our conversation was captured here in her wonderful Substack, Jane on Jeans, published this past weekend.

I ended the month last week at an incredible conference – considered the “un-conference” – called the Collective Future, hosted coincidentally by a Cornell classmate. This invite-only event gathers 200 movers and shakers doing incredible things, and I am honored to be on the invite list.

Attendees are asked to submit both a discussion topic for the day of hour-long “dinner party” style sessions and a book recommendation for the communal bookshelf guests are encouraged to pull from and take home (contacting the recommender is also encouraged).

Of course, I recommended my dear Amy’s book, The Setback Cycle! Who has the best Sunday newsletter.

And my submitted topic was also chosen for the second year in a row. This year’s being:

“I have a YES…and” problem.” How to manage saying yes with limited, finite time.

Luckily I was paired to host this session with a gal who shared the problem. However, unlike me and our shared table of attendees, she had actionable solutions.

She shared strategic practices and suggestions, even emulating a Warren Buffet exercise: starting with a daily long list taking it down to 5 items, then narrowing it down to the top three priorities for the day.

While us active YES’ers were very impressed with these tips, I think the entire group universally left our session committed to the benefits and joys of YES’s.

Which basically explains my entire April…living through my YES…ands.

My Known and Formal YES…ands:

Cornell

My commitments included my annual Cornell spring visit. This trip really packed a punch with a 24 -hour marathon. Luckily, my Entrepreneurship Council meeting aligned perfectly with my Human Ecology Council days, with the EXTRA bonus that my donated speaker series lecture was coordinated for that evening too!

I had literally stalked Vanessa Barboni Hallik last fall at her brand’s store, Another Tomorrow, during my new friend Maryam’s Messy Parts podcast launch party — with a very planned, very un-me ‘shake-down.”

(I met Maryam at last year’s Future Collective Conference!)

For education, I will perform a shake down…luckily it worked, and Vanessa bent over backwards to come up to Cornell for the day for her lecture, and I had the privilege of interviewing her.

I knew parts of her journey from her Messy Parts Podcast, but I was in awe of her TRUE “farm-to-fashion” authentic practice. She is an incredible visionary doing the HARD work.

Being on campus is always rewarding, but I left this particular trip incredibly fulfilled with new knowledge and thought exercises. I was also strongly told I need to buck up and buy into the “non-free” Claude system…

We also managed to sneak in Cornell’s Ruth Bader Ginsburg Costume Collection Exhibit.

A Little Detour

I also had a bit of a travel issue…

Being a “world traveller,” I somehow still don’t have a “Real ID,” and realized the night before that I couldn’t take my Delta flight because my passport was sitting safely at home…in Bridgehampton.

The drive let me catch up on a few chapters of Graydon Carter’s memoir and more Messy Parts episodes. And then I cruised past this scene and slammed on the breaks to pull over to capture this rare moment of laundry on the line.

The woman was outside and spotted me, and I felt the need to politely approach as I was sort of trespassing. I explained I had pulled over to photograph her laundry.

She shared that she loves hanging the laundry, except on manure day…and that no one does it anymore. She also shared that her husband had hoped I pulled over because I wanted to buy their farm! #goals

FIT

The following week was for FIT – The Fashion Institute of Technology.

I kicked off the week in the new President, Jason Schupbach’s office for my one on one. I joined the Foundation Board this fall during the transition from FIT’s longtime president, Dr. Joyce Brown, after an incredible 27-year run. It’s an incredibly exciting time to be part of FIT. The institution feels ripe for new vision and energy, and Jason is bursting with ideas, opportunity, and clear direction. I am thrilled to be onboard and of service.

My final agenda item for this meeting was to share that I had just heard on this episode, in my catch-up, that the incredible NYC creative visionary and cool kid collector Kim Hastreiter who started Paper Magazine was keen to teach and no one would hire her…at least not NYU. Jason was immediately on it!

(I like to whisper little nuggets like these…)

The next day was the FIT Gala, held at Saint John The Divine, the largest Gothic Cathedral in the world! And what a dramatic place to throw a party!!!

I sponsored a table and collected my fashion and business of fashion friends from childhood, college, old and new pals to join- and we had a grand time together. While it was all a new event experience for me, I felt surrounded by love and fun mixing all “my people” together for the night.

I also “whispered” a suggestion to the FIT team that they include the Queen of Substack, Emily Sundberg! And..she came and held her court. I only saw her on the podium, I was too sheepish to find her again.

All the Unknown and Unexpected Yes…ands:

Aperitivo Galore

April oddly delivered me…the month of the beverages!

A connection from a few years ago, Taylor Foxman, introduced me to two budding beverage founders – the Sistine ladies, who just sent me a bottle of their chic-as-hell aperitivo arriving the day I left. And another, a well mannered fellow creating a gorgeous seltzer brand. I then reconnected to an earlier Yes..and mentee Meredith, who is killing it with her brand, Southside she started 2 years ago, and my YPO friend Neil, who is onto his second beverage venture, another gorgeous Aperitivo. I didn’t know I was so connected in the world of drinks…

It was fun to dabble some time in the world of building clean alcohol and chic beverages!

My other Yes..ands also brought me onto a call with an old friend and roommate, Steve, (also with a great newsletter here) from my first year in NYC after college, who I hadn’t spoken to in at least 20 years! We picked up the line as if we never left off…and immediately leapt into my Yes…and mode began connecting away with people.

More calls, catch-up lunches, meetings, and projects were squeezed in abundance between all.

Practical Musts

Maintenance, hair, hormones, and health appointments! And a fondue party requested by my neighbors before we officially transition the season.

And, a psychic healing session I was gifted for my birthday from my dearest friend and partner in crime, Jessica, with the incredibly talented Deganit…She was so incredible I felt the need to keep the healing gifting circle going – so I sent a session to my bestie from high school, Kathryn, for her 50th birthday party I ended the month with!

Ful-Fill-ing Fun

I did the fun and informative Substack Live with Non-Toxic Caitlin, in case you missed it. Be on the look out for some other Substack work that will be rolling out this month…

A beautiful show with The Fill to support the fashion education and sustainability work Repurpose does.

And wrapping up the month with the week of learning Conferences- The week started with GoodCon – hosted by my friend doing good, Afdhel. As everything feels so dark and heavy, it was such an incredible day of seeing, hearing, meeting and being inspired by so many people doing genuinely impactful work! I again was blessed and honored to be at this other 200 person invite only event.

One Of The Best YES…and Results Of My Life:

Afdhel – in 2020, recommended I connect with his friend Julia “who was a female founder who recently exited, Julia Collins.

I made ONE NOTE from my hour plus long call with Julia, when I asked her how she is already thriving with a fresh new start…she said I have the best teacher, “Dena Crowder”

A few months later, looking for much needed help, I remembered my note…and I have been working with Dena ever since!

We are one big blessed “Yes…and” spirit circle.

I can’t say I will be quitting my Yes…and problem anytime soon – the universe keeps bringing me too much GOOD!

Wishing you all a great May filled with lots of Yes…ands!

XO

April’s Laundry List:

1. Jane on Jeans

2. Another Tomorrow

3. RBG

4. Messy Parts

5. Aperitivos - Sistine, Collina Viola, or Southside too!

6. Psychic healing session

7. Hair

8. Hormones

9. Facial

10. Fondue with Friends

This major pastime (and expense) in my life started in 2020, when my dearest friend Maria – who has always been more partial to wine over wellness (we lived together in London after college, traveled, and enjoyed life and lots of wine) called me that summer in lockdown, asking if we could go to a wellness week together - A.K.A. “fat camp.”

Naturally, I was IN – despite being in SHOCK at her interest in this kind of activity.

We hemmed and hawed between the Ashram and The Ranch –both in Malibu – stalked the internet, asked “Gwyneth,” and our travel agent eventually made the decision for us: we were “Ranch” girls.

And so, off we went to REI.com, bought backpacks with the pivotal water bladder system, our first pairs (of MANY) trail shoes, and I packed my compression leggings – along with what has become my signature look: festive compression socks.

Maria and I loved it SO MUCH – we went back for more. And frequently. We went from once a year to sometimes twice, and once we got bored of the Malibu mountains, we started looking for new routes– next was a pop-up in Vail, where we learned from another Rancher about Spain. By then, we already had Italy on the list for the following year…

In addition, we made FRIENDS! Lots of friends – very good friends. Three of them were at my 50th birthday party last month. When you spend four hours a day, for five days together on a trail – you SHARE.

Maria and I show up with a personal agenda – our laundry list of topics we need to work through together over the trail hours throughout the week. (We’ve known each other since we were 16!)

We get sh*t done!

Last June, in Spain “at camp,” we learned that the optimum VO2 max aerobic zone is being in a cardio zone of 2–5 exertion—while still able to talk. Who knew? That makes my preferred walking and talking mode the ideal exercise!

Which brings to me today’s Laundry List – a reflection on my week in Italy at Dolce Vitality.

However, it’s not about the exercise, the food, or the restriction – it’s about the abundance of LUXURY. The BIG L and the little l of luxury, to be exact.

Read more

This week we are all so blessed to have the non-toxic lifestyle expert, , give us the ultimate trim tab, sharing her non-toxic expertise, recommendations, and MUSTS. I enjoyed our chat so much and learned loads.

I am also inspired to up my game!

Caitlin and I started with a hearty dose of shared disdain for nasty fragrance, bashing particularly, the fragrance assault in public spaces. From plug-ins, scent sticks, candles, the scent blower trend in hotels, to the good old dangling scent tree in an Uber or car — absolutely NOT! PLEASE — hotels, retail stores, Ubers, and taxis:

DO NOT IMPOSE FRAGRANCE ON US WITHOUT OUR CONSENT.

I literally have a BIG NOTE with my travel agent to make sure any new hotel booking is NOT a scented property. Sadly, we had a huge miss last month in Naples. The scent sticks in the lobby and on every floor made my friend and I both ill.

We also cannot stand smelling passerby perfume (elevators — the worst!) or *GASP* — Tide, or even worse, Gain detergent. Needless to say, hot yoga class is a detergent aroma danger zone for me…

But alas, we moved onto more useful dialogue.

Caitlin is so incredibly knowledgeable about our environment pesticides. Sadly, I have experienced the impact of them myself. In the last few years, I too have started feeling weird in my own garden – even with my “organic” fertilizer.

I personally am going to have a chat with my gardener this weekend about the pesticides and spraying plans for the upcoming season…

We shared parts of our detox journey, and how I learned I actually have a genetic condition that prevents/limits my body’s ability to naturally detox. This all made sense after my discovery, understanding why I felt so much better from dry & infrared sauna, cold plunging, and long immersive detox weeks. My body could finally unload a bit!

Caitlin has motivated me to get on my bouncer and vibrating plate this weekend, I already picked up the body brush last night and multitasked the LED (face & hair) kit too!

I am also going to add to my Spring-Cleaning Laundry List to get my air filters back in action. Caitlin shares the best air and water filters, foods to absolutely avoid, and items in your home that could cause issues- foam!

I am super curious to try the Intake Breathing Strip which Caitlin swears is the single best thing she has added to her routine. I’m ordering her Creatine Sport from the Non-Toxic Homes Shop (I watched her scoop on IG) as I am still working on integrating this in my routine. I aspire to her morning beverage and evening routines- but this is a healthy motivational start. Last but not least, I need to figure out this tongue scrapping must-do too.

Will report back!

The Non-Toxic Homes Laundry List:

1. Water:

• Clearly Filtered Under the Sink

• Clearly Filtered water bottle

• Crystal Quest Bath Filter

• Jolie Shower Head

• Filter Baby Sink Filter

*I installed the Aquasana home water system a couple years ago

2. Air:

• Brio (Code: NONTOXIC- gives them $250 off)

• AirDoctor

3. Sleep:

• Gwen’s Wool Mattress

4. Body:

• Vibrating Plate

• Intake Breathing Strip (Code NTH for 15% off)

• LED face/body panel

• Red Light for hair

• Body Brush (recommended by our favorite Amber Katz)

You can check out Caitlin’s website for more information — where she has very helpful guides that are a great resource.

Non Toxic Guides: an inexpensive way to get 200+ swaps for the home, 125+ for kids, and then a great parasite detox. They are also releasing new ones in Q3 for personal care + beauty, & clothing- so stay tuned. Or, you can go all in, direct with the expert herself 1:1 through the Toxin Free Reset program, for the maximized non-toxic home plan.

I am personally excited to receive the Silicone ziplock pouches I just ordered from her website SHOP too — these will be filled for travel and some extra empty ones for my purchased treasures on the road (I love a jam and honey to take home).

Thank you for your time and incredible resources!

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I was a bit down — beyond the usual post-vacation blues. A few irritations surfaced, layered with the general state of the world. But, there was no time to stay down because I had my 50th to get on with!

I needed to finish the details, prepare my part on stage, and get ready to host a full weekend of events, all leading up to the Sunday evening extravaganza with 81 of my favorite people.

Most importantly, and perhaps the hardest part, I needed to be grounded and present.

However, packed into the two weeks prior were loads of work catch-up, calls, meetings: speaking at Columbia Business School, a Substack Live, an FIT Board meeting, doctor’s appointments, a breakfast summit at Hearst, an evening event with Christy Turlington, and the event tasting and pregame meeting – all before the party weekend kickoff.

Read more

I apologize, but I have been a bit paralyzed on how to proceed here. However, I am ready to share the very enchanting, peaceful, and informative details of what I coined our “Peace In The Middle East” Tour (appropriately, until recent events).

For me, the point of travel is learning, exploration, adventure, and creative fulfillment. In this particular piece, I am going to place greater emphasis on my learnings from this trip and what I have greater understood since my return. The real gift lies in meeting people and hearing their stories, which I will make a small attempt to share here.

A quick shout out to all the new Laundry List subscribers here today – many are here today after reading my interview in Ageist. Thank you for joining me and welcome to the ride!

Note: This post is being shared without a paywall. Both to welcome all my new subscribers, but also in effort, to share the “peace in the Middle East.”

So we re-begin:

Even though my travel plans are often conceptualized a year ahead, or in this case ten years ago, I always seem to find myself exactly where I need to be.

For instance, last winter was our big trip to Bhutan. I was SO looking forward to being back to a peaceful Buddhist country already needing a nervous system reprieve from the new government’s radical and traumatizing agenda in action. It was in divine time to be immersed into the Buddhist country, seeking solitude in the radically respectful Buddhist philosophy of people, nature, and animals all living with equal importance – details I didn’t fully understand or embrace until I was there.

This year’s winter trip was to execute our plan hatched ten years ago, which I had nicknamed my “Peace In The Middle East” Tour. Growing up with the Bush’s, 9/11, and general American Islamophobia…

It was a cheeky statement—but it was indeed what we got: full-on Peace in the Middle East!

*And only one week after returning, America has once again, disrupted their peace.

James and I had a plan to return to our honeymoon paradise in the Maldives for our ten year wedding anniversary. Our honeymoon included a wonderful tour around Sri Lanka paired with the relaxing Maldives, via flights through Dubai. I distinctly remember the 5 hour layover, made even more painful, sitting in the Emirates lounge at 3 in the morning, watching the first Trump debate on CNN in 2016.

I have to admit, we cheated on our ten year plan. In 2021, as we took the opportunity to go to the Maldives, unvaccinated, during Covid, when they were open for business (not easily) and offering 60% discounts to the other global lunatics like us who were willing to travel. Despite all the Covid tests, drama, long journey and layovers via Qatar- it was well worth it to escape to paradise and feel so free and safe…and happy!

The following year, 2022, I went to SHA in Spain, since I couldn’t get to my planned Thailand destination (Kamalaya) without too much risk. I absolutely hated it- for another promised Laundry List- but I picked up great friends and great intel. I found myself in the sauna with an executive from Six Senses. James and I are very big fans of the Six Senses hotel brand (we even bought an apartment in one in London- which is opening this month!) So I asked this guy what his favorite property was- his response - Zighy Bay, hands down!

He shared how special the property was and that you can paraglide into the resort to land on the beach for your arrival- He got me there! When I went to check it out later on my phone, I saw that you got to Oman from Dubai – Done! That was the next Maldives travel pairing plan for the 2026 trip.

We had our plan- wanting to go to Zighy Bay, Muscat, and the countryside we assumed was the desert….we picked our travel dates and made the rookie mistake of booking flights before we thoroughly planned our itinerary. We made the poor assumption that it would be rather easy to be-bop around the different regions in Oman we had on our list. This was not the case, we ended up be-bopping back and forth via Dubai four times too. In the end it all worked out super well, but it forced us to get creative and mentally adjust a few times.

Funnily, it was the longest plan we had ever made that ended up being the least prepared/informed plan too. I think we just took “having the plan” for granted. As we were getting our heads around packing, I only realized that they actually have winter too- and it was also unusually colder in Dubai too- which put me into an absolute tizzy. Now I needed to expand my beach and sporty desert gear to include very cold evenings and 60 degree days, too. This is when we were grateful for the multiple Dubai stops, which also served as our “two vacation- two different suitcases” storage room.

We kicked off our trip, landing in Zighy Bay. My paragliding down to the beach arrival was actually scheduled for the next day, as we arrived later in the afternoon, and that also depended on the wind…and I was also grateful to be a bit fresher than just off the long haul ride there.

I had a bit of a rough start to the year, possibly the neuro-virus and a couple other unnecessary stressful dramas, in addition to the daily American upset. So I was ready to take the first 5 days to decompress, settle down, rest and regroup, and also catch up on some work that I had left unfinished. We did get lucky that the weather shifted for our arrival which gave us comfortable sunny days in the 70’s to enjoy.

Yes, the hotel was perfectly appointed, the breathtaking view of the Arabian Sea, incredible spa services and one of the best trainers I have worked with. However, it was the Six Senses Team that made it special. The property is in a cove, next to a tiny fishing village, tucked in behind a mountain (the one you jump off of to paraglide) separating the nearest roadway that connects Oman back to the UAE border. So essentially, the property and surrounding compound is THEIR HOME, in which they welcome you to visit them in.

After I strapped myself to a complete stranger who I was going to jump off a cliff with- literally 2 minutes later- with the only instructions of, “run and don’t sit down until I tell you”…we started to float in the air- I asked him how long he had been here. It turns out, he (from Bulgaria) was jumping off this cliff before the hotel owner even built the resort 15 years ago. He was there first! Which then made perfect sense as to why the random act of paragliding is a key element to Zighy Bay (and maybe the insurance in Oman isn’t crazy…). On the ascent, he “welcomed me to his office” where I proceeded to learn a bit about him and how he has been flying since he was 4 with his father. He took me on a beautiful ride too.

P.S. I was not prepared for the ticker that notified us when we were actually climbing up in altitude with the wind- I assumed we would only be descending. So we glided not only side to side, but also up and down with the gusts. I was also NOT prepared to be going OVER the water either… from which we could spot the turtles too.

As I proceeded to meet more and more of the team, someone who was only there for 3 years, said they are considered relatively new! Much of the team- who come from over 80 different countries- have been there living and working in harmony for over ten years together. They must be doing something right… Or that peace in the middle east- is contagiousness there. We enjoyed learning from our favorite waiter from Nepal, our hiking leader from Nigeria, the French hostess, the Bhutanese spa ladies, and my favorite fitness trainer from Columbia.

I can not emphasize how heartwarming and peaceful it was to be within global harmony in a community delivering excellence and loving what they do and where they live, all to the backdrop of the humming call to prayer 5 times a day.

From there, we moved onto our next region in Oman: Jabal Akhdar, known as the green mountain region (even though it looked quite brown). It is considered lush at the high altitude and also happens to be the region of their damask rose - which I am devastated that I missed the bloom by 6 weeks. *NOTE if you go! However, I hit up the rose store, and bought out every single bottle of rose oil they had in stock. I also bought loads of Frankincense and Rose Water, and their special local version that distills something like 200 roses for a small batch that gets brewed over open wood fire- so the rose water is dark, deep and smoky. It is amazing!

Our driver took us to the Fort town of Nizwa where we also enjoyed the hyper local and authentic souq there — we stocked up on spices, endless varieties of dates and teas. We also caught the end of a slightly disturbing goat market. Our driver took us back to Muscat, the capital, and gave us a city tour the following day. The souq and fish market, the new city, old city, the second largest mosque, opera house, and then to the best Frankincense store in Oman, Luban (another regional specialty of Oman). *Also Note, I would go to that region of Salalah next time too.

It was fascinating to learn about Oman from our driver. (I also got some interesting details from our hiking leader too- about female workforce and government, male/female equal pay in Oman, how every Omani is given land to be a home/property owner at the age of 22, and the Damask Rose details). Our drivers experience being from the mother of his dads 4th wife. The development of Oman, from village, nomadic desert life to a newly connected country with roads, education and healthcare. His wife is a doctor in the new children’s hospital and he is an engineer on an oil transferring vessel half the year. In contrast to Dubai, the Sultanate of Oman is taking the slow and steady organic growth path, focusing on harnessing the Omani’s growth.

We also learned about the journey of a Los Angeles transplant (fled California and the US) who settled in Muscat. He is Sudanese by background, so he spoke Arabic, and was an IT security system guy. In his new Omani life, he met his designer wife on Tinder… lives on the beautiful ocean front coast, and opened a restaurant that has become the #1 spot in Oman- which James happened to find on the Conde Nast website. He shared his business ventures and perspective-seeing opportunity, the diverse, open and welcoming landscape of the country all rooted in respect. He is thrilled with his new Omani life- the wonderfully warm and welcoming culture- and the amazing local food he now specializes in. He is living a dream.

Oman was so intoxicating — not only the landscape, people, culture and food but how the entire country wafts the most gloriously intoxicating scent of incense at every turn. Incense luxuriously burns in every lobby, store, café, and throughout the sidewalks. They combine various scented items including the ubiquitous hunks of frankincense resin. Needless to say, I came home with loads of things to burn and waft through my rooms. I LOVED seeing the setup kit for their laundry scenting systems in the souqs — these wooden tripods to drape drying clothes to hover over burning incense underneath. Of course, I desperately wanted one!

And then back to Dubai we went, to transition again, and see Dubai for the day. I had always snubbed the idea of Dubai, saying, I was NOT a Vegas person. The glitz and excess and every global restaurant outpost seemed just not interesting. I did not see the waterfront developments, the manmade islands, or the massive shopping centers, or really any of the spots I’ve seen or read about… even passing through 4 times, I am not exactly sure where they are. But what we did see, aside from our hotel that wasn’t connected to anything walkable, was the old Dubai Heritage section. Even though there were some aggressive shop keeper tactics, I could have spent all day really diving deep to discover all the treasures. Yes, I did find enough to stuff my suitcase full to return with all my rose and frankincense items from Oman…

But it was what we learned and felt that was fascinating — Diversity & Safety.

Diversity:

Let’s start with diversity. Dubai is the most internationally diverse cities in the world, 85–90% of the population are expatriates from over 200 different nationalities with only 10–15% of the population local Emirati citizens.

Net, Net, messaging in Dubai- EVERYONE IS WELCOME here and will be SAFE. ACCEPTED and TOLERATED. (JUST ACT WITH RESPECT).

The most glaring contrast to our current US messaging and government sentiments. I felt like I saw the future… the future is there… They are now the land of the free and opportunity.

What used to be the American dream, is now the UAE dream.

I am not denying that my sunshine and roses is the full story, and yes, there are ENORMOUS economic disparities, and EVERYTHING was SO EXPENSIVE!!!

BUT, I kept hearing and seeing that land of opportunity. From the hotel workers, the airport workers, and our tourguide..everyone was making a better living in clean and safe spaces with better opportunities than at home. Even my adorable manicurist (which was the most expensive manicure I have ever had at the hotel mid-trip nail clean up) was from Kazakhstan. She was recruited for her expertise, young, having an adventure, and loving her exciting Dubai life. And, she couldn’t believe I knew where she was from and that her home is on my travel wish list…

Safety:

Both Dubai and Oman are completely safe…no one is homeless and there are NO crimes. The police stay busy giving out parking tickets. You could walk around both markets and souqs with your wallet literally hanging out or left on a counter vs. clutching to your bag in Marrakesh, Istanbul, and even Paris. I had never felt safe in my other Arabic travels, from a backpack to a 5 star, I always felt I was going to get abducted in Morocco- getting held at gunpoint for making out on the beach (not really one of my wisest ideas when I was 22) didn’t help either…

Now reading more and more about the current situation in the Monocle daily newsletters - they have been reporting so well- is making even more sense of it all to me, too.

I will share a few lines from the Monday, March 2, Monocle newsletter written by Inzamam Rashid:

“For years, Gulf capitals urged de-escalation, arguing that diplomacy was the only route to protect the trillions invested in cities built as global hubs for finance, logistics, tourism and aviation. Safety here is not simply a policy objective, it is a commercial proposition. Stability underpins sovereign wealth, property values and airline schedules.”

Safety was the selling point for the welcoming open-for-business friendly landscape offered by the UAE.

Economy:

The last point I will note is the Economy. All the various forms of development are intentional- intentional to reduce and eventually replace an oil dependent economy. These regions know, understand, and are planning for the future world in which they can not rely on oil wealth.

Again, another glaring contrast to what is happening in our homeland…any thoughtful economic planning…let alone planning to preserve our natural wealth and resources.

Oman is developing organically with intention, taking the long game approach to focus on sustainable internal development. Dubai has done the opposite quick and enormous economic boom and investment to attract and create both tourist and business friendly environments.

It wasn’t until I was there that I got the Saudi memo! I had left off with the Khashoggi murder and women not allowed to drive… I just learned Saudi Arabia has completely rebranded. They are open for business! They are developing their Red Sea coast to compete with the Maldives, creating to compete hard in the health, wellness longevity tourism game, and already has exotic (and insanely luxurious) desert resort camps open for business. Game on! They are striving to triple the tourism that Dubai sees in the next few years. Again, planning for life and economic thriving without an oil economy. THEY are planning thoughtfully for the near future in THEIR best interest.

As Monocle eloquently reported in this weeks newsletter- March 10, By Scott Campbell:

“Over the past decade, Saudi Arabia’s capital has been transformed from an austere administrative seat – once patrolled by the mutawa, religious police who swept through malls at prayer time – into a hyper-kinetic metropolis home to festivals, heavyweight-boxing bouts, Formula 1 showpieces and Cristiano Ronaldo.”

And then onto Paradise..

Alas, we leave, full of love for our “Peace In The Middle East” Tour. I had already masterminded my next dream tour through Bahrain (for the pearl tour) paired with a wellness break in Qatar at the resort the Qatar Chiva Som, Zulal Wellness Resort (I was supposed to go to here shortly after October 7th).

And we arrive in the ultimate dreamland of the Maldives. The varying choices of resorts to stay there are completely overwhelming, but we eventually landed back at Six Senses Laamu. For us, this ticks all the boxes: wonderful fitness classes, excellent snorkeling, solid spa, diverse menus and dining options, the tropic surf watersports team with my favorite flite board…and lessons to learn how to kitesurf (my 50th birthday goal!) all except the kids club there.

Again, it was the wonderful and diverse staff, the diverse global clientele and here, it was the true feeling, that we were there as a guest visiting the sea-life animals that live there- we were visiting their home. The turtles, manta rays, dolphins and fish- this is their world, their perfect beautiful home…that needs to be respected and preserved.

I have so much more to say about paradise, but I will leave us off here with our itinerary, highlights, and of course…always The Laundry List!

The Itinerary:

Arrive in Dubai —

• Drop off Maldives suitcases to storage at The One & Only Hotel Dubai

• 2 hour drive crossing the UAE border into Oman, arrive Six Senses Zighy Bay

Zighy Bay — 6 nights

• Paraglide

• Hike & swim

• Spa: relax, regroup, transition into holiday mode

Transfer Day —

• 2 hour drive back to Dubai Airport- Fly to Muscat, Oman Capital

• 2 hour drive to the green mountain region, arrive at the Anantara

Al Jabal Al Akhdar, Anantara — 2 nights

• Fantastic hike

• Rose & Frankincense spa treatments

• Rose oil shop

• Nizwa tour

Muscat, The Chedi — 2 nights

*City tour, Souq, Mosque, Frankincense store, sunset boat tour, enjoy hotel, dinner at Ramssa

Transfer Day — Fly back to Dubai

Dubai, One & Only Za’abeel — 2 nights

• Old Dubai Heritage Tour

• Souq

• Gold Market

• Fun shopping

• Dinner at Al Khayma Heritage Restaurant

Transfer Day — Fly to Maldives

Six Senses Laamu — 8 nights

• Snorkel

• Flite boarding

• Yoga

• Cranial sacral specialist

• Watercolor class

• Homemade ice cream

Transfer Day — Fly to Dubai

• One night in Dubai

• Dinner at The Arts Club with acquaintances who live in Dubai

Return Home — Party’s over….

The Laundry List “Peace in the Middle East” Tour:

1. Paragliding

2. Hiking

3. Rose Oil

4. Frankincense

5. Spices

6. Call to Prayer

7. Floating Sound Bath

8. Craniosacral Therapy

9. Flite Boarding

10. Watercolor Painting Class

In the spirit of celebration, I am sharing this full post without a paywall.

I guess I will be super on trend with this huge throwback to 2016… as all trends – I usually am totally unaware of, I just happened to have caught some people doing it.

For me, today’s Laundry List comes up as a deeper reflection as I close in on my last week of my 40’s… (So much has changed for me in the last decade – another Laundry List for another time) and as I unexpectedly decided to (plan and) throw myself a 50th birthday party…

With that, it requires me to share what was “The Grand Event,” coined by James as this was so much more (and wildly different) than a “normal” wedding.

James and I had been dating for 5 years and there was no doubt from the beginning that we were meant to be together. While I was used to being perceived as the sad single one (of the two Laundresses) – Bridget Jones spinster style – I was also often shamed as the childless one. So with all those years of single shaming, to refer to my forever guy as my “boyfriend” – I was SO OVER. I was also turning 40 – so I very romantically declared to James that if I was going to turn 40, I might as well BE MARRIED.

The official transition from my Carrie Bradshaw NYC West Village solo gal life.

So, here we were planning a 40th birthday and wedding – The Grand Event. The other reality in our dynamic – James, a second marriage with technically adult children, and the rest of his family all in Toronto – all whom would NEVER lay eyes on MY FAMILY – and OUR LIVES TOGETHER - would never be SEEN – unless we had an “event.”

We would just keep living in this out of sight, out of mind obscurity.

It was also important to me that my parents and small extended family, who adored the fresh addition of James to our tiny clan, got to meet his children and his people.

However, a bride I was not.

Actually, James was also coined by my dear friend “the bride” for his excited enthusiasm and even afterwards the title continued to TMB: “The Married Bride.”

As one that is used to not fitting in a box (nor following any rules), this was just another “project” on my list of “brand experiences.” At the time, my plate was very full of other creations – in addition to my normal all consuming Laundress job – I was also deep in gut renovating our new dream apartment at 1 Fifth Avenue (which I still long for.) On top of that, I was also deep, in the ENORMOUS project of creating and building the new Laundress flagship store on Prince Street which opened a few months before…and alas, topping it all off with the planning of The Grand Event!

While I had a day-of wedding planner, it was all the specific details of the full weekend that I cared most about. The Grand Event spanned that entire third weekend of February 2016. The kickoff was on a Wednesday – at City Hall.

As I listened just last week to my BFF roommate from college OBSESS over her upcoming nuptial officiant (very oddly called a solemnizer), our nuptial was the exact opposite.

To me, the actual nuptials were the least on my mind or the least interesting part of the plan.

Perhaps it was the lead up of our thorough pre-nup journey – while low in actual assets and highly leveraged in debt, accounted for my potential Laundress asset “event” that luckily did come true 3 years later. Prenups get a bad rap, but I am now actually OBSESSED with THIS DIVORCE ATTORNEY after my dearest friend and also prenup fan sent THIS podcast to me. Totally worth the long listen!

But, going to City Hall, which WAS the former DMV, actually just felt like that…administrative! I was SO not into it, refusing a bridal bouquet that my incredibly non-bridal extraordinary florist literally FLORAL bombed me at City Hall with a bouquet she insisted I needed to have!

I also should note my outfit choices here…

As the photos will clearly reveal – I wore black. Oddly as a former fashion person, I gave very little effort in the weekend outfit department. We were in Rome at the end of our summer holiday that year and I walked past the Dolce & Gabbana store with the black Sicilian lace funeral dress in the window- and I knew that was it. James and I went in, my first time ever shopping D&G, tried on the dress, and declared it my wedding dress! Luckily James approved.

My main event dress was even less effort. One morning in Bridgehampton, I went up to the attic, found the brown paper bag, brought it downstairs and pulled out a black ball gown from an Oscar de la Renta sample sale from a few years back that had been stuffed in the bag ever since. I held it up and asked James if I should wear this…and he said Yes to the Dress!

What was the surprise though, was the insane comic experience that went with the City Hall event. I wanted this “transaction” to just be James and I. However, James insisted that my mother should be there...which I felt was super weird to be wed with just the three of us…THUS, my mom needed a handler! James didn’t exactly understand the need in the first place, until HE DID. Luckily, my Welsh BFF (see UK countryside travels) was the perfect option with loads of Peg handling experience to round out our nuptial group of 4.

Let’s just say, my mom was brought to TEARS – not from joy – but from absolute absurdity. She literally turned to me and said “Only you… this is so INSANE!”

Between the deli ticket number system, the dirty furniture I declared an STD threat, the officiant ordering a pizza (we had to wait for him to finish), James totally focused on the Babe Ruth wedding photos, the other fellow nuptial seekers, all walks of NYC life…the vending machine flowers and MERCH, and the poor bride in the ladies room desperately trying to zip a dress over her expecting body…it was A LOT.

Nevertheless, we got it done. We had our bubble gun photo moment, stopped by The Laundress shop to toss the bouquet, and off we went to champagne at the Standard Hotel. The other problem with getting married is that everyone gives you champagne…and then you end up drinking it! Then we went to The Lowell Hotel for our fun wedding night adventure to the exotic Upper East Side. This was a hotel favorite of my high school bestie. The room’s fireplace made it extra perfect for the February evening (BTW – they charge extra to light it!). However, more champagne there and a huge dinner at Il Mulino didn’t help either.

This all led to my first (of three) IV drips over the weekend.

BTW: IV drips should be well accounted for in any long weekend event. Note to self to book for my party next month!

Speaking of prep maintenance – I was solely focused on starving. I mean, being skinny “The wedding weight.” I started in the fall with some LA doctor I paid to follow his “medical” process of essentially starving. It was a long lead of starvation, which at the end, included two protein shakes a day (which made me a bloated gas bomb) with an exciting snack of a cherry tomato. Either I was so focused or starvation brain deprived, I didn’t even think about whitening my teeth or needing self-tanner for my pasty February skin…but skinny and starving I was!

I really need to speed it up here – I could go on FOREVER!

The Agenda

Wednesday: City Hall Nuptials

• Celebration drinks at The Standard Hotel

• Dinner at Il Mulino

• Overnight at The Lowell Hotel

  *Hair & makeup & surprise bouquet from ETF

Thursday: Primary Family Dinner at 1 Fifth

• James goes to work meeting

• Gwen IV drips

• Host dinner at home with James’ kids and Gwen’s mom, aunt, and uncle.

• Guests start arriving to the Marlton Hotel

Friday: Family Lunches / Family & Friends Dinner

• Ladies lunch in Columbus Circle

• Gents Lunch at Katz’s Deli

• Extended family tea gathering at our apartment

• Dinner for 30-ish at the Waverly Inn’s private back room

  *This was the only event where I wore white! Well actually, cream to be exact. A Ralph Lauren cream wool pantsuit.

  *Hair & makeup, Laundress photographer and friend Stan Wan captured the intimate moments.

Saturday: The Day Of

• Ambitious morning plan of girls’ barre class

• Girls mani/pedi’s at 10/10 Soho

• Guests are invited to shop at The Laundress shop too. The store is a flutter of fun too!

  *Another IV drip, hair & makeup, stylist friend assisting us dress

… and I forgot to write a speech too!

The Grand Event

While the goal of the nuptial weekend was to bring everyone important to us together, it was the deep vision I had that made it extraordinary.

My goal for this evening was to create a most memorable luxuriously special classic New York City black tie evening event.

My reference was “Downton Abbey on steroids.” The grand and glamorous house party I dream of being at – which wasn’t or isn’t a wedding NOR had any traditional wedding moments.

After looking everywhere for a venue, it was my own club, The National Arts Club, that ended up being perfect for our mission. The historic mansion was ours for the evening, the backdrop required very little, and it was Emily Thompson who really brought my vision to life. It is grossly unfair to label her as a florist, she was the talent that created and translated this feeling through every thoughtful detail- big and small.

This started with the club chef – who was not exactly thrilled that our “wedding booking” was pushing him well outside his comfort zone. We began with the hors d’oeuvres, skipping the traditional list of options in favor of Emily’s rough sketches: center tables stacked with asparagus and cabbage towers, edibles dangling from layered serving pieces. James was in charge of procuring the Parmesan wheel!

Then we moved the chef to the main course. The meal choices hinged on the best options for the Russian table service we wanted – not the sad, tired pre-plated wedding dishes, but butlered table service via an arsenal of glamorous rented silver (à la Mr. Carson’s Downton collection).

I had to truly trust Emily when she – very uncharacteristically – insisted on black sequined tablecloths…and they were a showstopper. This was just the foundation for her masterpiece: a tablescape of exotic orchids woven through candelabras, citrus fruits, and opened pomegranates. Yes – it was Dutch still-life-esque…all further personalized by Emily’s iconic calligraphy name cards, a keepsake in itself.

And then there was the dessert table. No one loves a wedding cake, but I do love BIRTHDAY CAKE!

James’ other very important duty was to procure and taste every vanilla (yellow) cake with chocolate frosting in the city – and the Hamptons, too! This was my only indulgence during my starvation diet. The vision was another still life: colorful Jell-O molds (another insane friend project to produce), birthday cakes, and more fruits and flowers.

And then the little details.

The custom event scent my incredible perfumer created for me wafted around from custom candles. I tapped my friend at Joya to produce in large format to place around the club and bathrooms, and then make individual gift sizes everyone got to take home.

In addition to Emily’s event calligraphy, my dearest friend and artist Daniela Kamiliotis created our JG monogram used throughout the event correspondence and details including the candles, napkins, and matches.

The live music hummed in the parlor before and after dinner, which sadly James and I don’t recall a single tune we agonized over curating.

But it was the photos that were the true keepsakes for all, to forever keep their personal impression from the evening. On the heels of my girlfriend’s wedding over 10 years before mine, her mother-in-law had brought in a photographer from Ohio for their rehearsal dinner – which sounded crazy – until I saw why. He was WAY ahead of his time: creating a beautiful black white photography backdrop with a self-capturing image system. My favorite memories from the evening are in all 886 of those photos I have saved, printed, and edited in an album.

Many of those images are framed in our friends’ homes and are their prized photos.

This was another prime example of my joy of creating with others!

Like playing tennis, it is much more fun to play with someone better than you! I had Emily to raise my game, and so many of my super talented and giving other collaborators and friends. From my hairdresser Mauricio, to my pilates instructor by night, stylist by day, who served as my Annie Leibowitz family photo orchestrator! Not even the family photos were standard – onto the floor, some laying down, they went.

But it was also staying firm to my goal of maximizing together time and creating all the moments big and small that kept the weekend flowing, exciting, and special for everyone – out of town guests and locals alike.

While there was much post-party weekend depression, with my friends in particular who were high on together-time and feeling young and free, I was completely shattered en route to and upon arrival in Sri Lanka. Luckily we planned it well to start off our honeymoon adventure with a few unplanned recovery days on the beach.

So as I now piece together the plan for my 50th birthday mini-Grand Event:

The Goal: If not now, when?

The Theme: Togetherness

The Scene: Classic New York Evening

…and the most important details: bringing people together, birthday cake, and memorable photos!

To be continued…

The Grand Event Laundry List:

1. City Hall

2. The Lowell Hotel

3. The Marlton

4. The Waverly Inn

5. The National Arts Club

6. Emily Thompson

7. Billy’s Bakery

8. Parmesan Wheels & Jello Molds

9. IV Drips

10. Black & White Chic Photo Booth

At New Year’s Day lunch (after one of the best Bloody Mary’s I have ever had), James’ son announced his passing on dessert as his “Dry January” task. James then started reflecting back on all our years/months of quitting X, Y, and Z. I roped him into many a Dry January (and Dry September), Whole 30 diet months, and general quitting miseries with me (I was more miserable than him).

I retorted that I had “quit quitting!”

I have no shortage of things I could and should be doing— or at least thinking harder about—however, today, I am focusing on the “Just One Thing.”

The Just One Thing – the seemingly simple habit, pattern, routine that makes a difference and makes you feel good like you’re winning.

In early December, when my friend Lindsay and I were at SHA in Mexico—on our strict macrobiotic diet and forbidden water with meals and not eating until we downed our miso soup—Lindsay asked me if I ever took action at home on any of this “spa stuff.’ Well, I can say, I have had a lot of “spa stuff” experiences, and many takeaways. One Ayurvedic practitioner gave me an elaborate practice to cover myself in turmeric and sit in the sun every morning- perhaps reasonable in St. Lucia where I was, but not from my 15th floor apartment in NYC.

However, I did retort to Lindsay, that to me, it is taking at least Just One Thing back from any of these experiences.

No matter how big or small, it doesn’t matter—Just One Thing that won’t overwhelm and compound over time.

So with that, in today’s Laundry List I am sharing a few Just One Things — from myself and from some of my friends that I hope will inspire, and maybe be easy enough for you to take up too.

James | Gwen’s “Chief Husband” for life and The Fill

“Every morning at Kamalaya, our favorite wellness retreat, they leave fresh little limes on a cutting board next to the kettle to encourage a morning ritual of fresh squeezed lime and warm water to kick off our day and digestion..

I have been super diligent ever since our first stay almost 15 years ago, with my morning tincture. Simple and seemingly a habit to feel good about.”

Lindsay | Founder of All Means All | Gwen’s BFF & College Roommate

“I was inspired from my weekend with Gwen at SHA to integrate the practice of reducing my daily coffee consumption. The method was, instead of grabbing my first brew right out of bed, to take in a full glass of warm water with lemon and a pinch of salt right after waking. Then before my first cup, I also have a small bite of food first.

I have been succeeding with this new routine, and also added wake up squats and fresh air—recommended by my new functional medicine doctor.”

Gwen | Founder of The Fill

After a million diets, routines, etc., I am an evangelist about my morning protein shakes. I have been through many protein shake routines, but I finally hit my perfect stride. I am energized, satisfied, and focused through the morning and set on the right foot—and it tastes great too! I love pre-batching the week or night before to make my morning rush most efficient and not something to miss.

The combo also serves to hit the vitamin and mineral list to reduce my still-large daily pill intake. I have worked with my trusted Dr. Francis to land on my winning combination. (However, if she had her druthers, there would be green powder in it too, but I just can’t!)

Gwen’s Morning Blend:

I’m obsessed with the Apothe-Carry Inflamma Pro Chai protein powder. Not only does it help with inflammation, it is also the best flavor to me. I add a scoop of Collagen, Fiber, and Flax Oil.

Dr. Francis was so kind as to offer The Laundry List readers an exclusive discount of 25% off the entire Apothe-Carry Store with code: thefill25.

Gabrielle Francis​ | Chiropractor & Naturopath

I have seen Dr. Francis for a decade now, and trust her with my full medical care. She keeps me going through all my life phases! She also has a very thorough and helpful newsletter too. I was so inspired - she recently shared with me her “New Year’s Revolution!”

“For me, 2026 is not about setting goals or restricting behaviors.

I am choosing a “New Year’s Revolution” to allow myself to experience joy, adventure, and celebration, to be present and fully engaged with my patients, friends, family and strangers I meet every day. I am saying YES! to music, dance, connecting to friends and family, meeting new people, and traveling.

Being in the present moment with gratitude makes every minute an adventure and a gift.

I have been grounding my days with my “Magic Smoothie” from Apothe-Carry Smoothies (there are many to choose from!) for over 30 years. It starts my day with all the nutrition I need in one meal and includes a Functional Food Protein, Gut Repair, Probiotics, Fiber, Omega Oil, Green and Reds. I never go a day without it and feel it is the foundation of health that all the other good things I do builds on..

I also try to have a mini adventure every day…I take a walk without any destination in mind and stay open to the serendipity – it allows my mind time.”

Amber Katz |

Amber was my Substack doula! She is the queen of beauty – and if you missed our Substack Live: My European Pharmacy Finds – it is a good watch (if I do say so myself). She dishes weekly on all things beauty, with some lifestyle, fashion, and general things we need to know about. Amber was one of the first on the list to share her one thing!

“Years ago, I read about cleansing with salt to get rid of negative energy and also provide protection. And I was doing it for a while and then promptly forgot all about it. I got back into it this year and have been using my favorite Swedish salt soap in the shower to physically and emotionally cleanse during a nighttime shower.

It’s been a few weeks so far, but my mood is so much lighter after and I’ve been sleeping better, too.”

Katie Sturino |

Katie and I met this fall just before we went on stage together to speak at the WSJ CMO conference, and she has brought so much joy to me ever since. I live for her weather reports and general adventures. She is THE Megababe and I’m now a proud Megababe too!

“When I was on safari in Tanzania, it got so chilly at night and the wonderful staff would leave a hot water bottle under the covers near where my feet would go for 30 min before we got into bed. It was a revelation for someone whose feet are always freezing!!

I went home and ordered a hot water bottle immediately and now I don’t like getting into bed unless it’s been pre warmed. It’s simple and such an easy wind down routine.”

It’s funny, but certainly not a coincidence that my next two “writer” friends gave practices on how they best start the work/creative day with thought, organization and intention!

Amy Shoenthal |

I can pretty much credit Amy for helping shape my next chapter! She has some experience with new chapters, as she wrote so insightfully in her book The Setback Cycle. Amy has become a dear friend, as well as a forever thought partner. I look forward to her Sunday dispatch, The Sunday Setup. Her “The Scariest Sunday of the Year” one was spot on!

“The first thing I do when I sit down at my desk every morning is a two minute exercise I’ve honed over the last several years. It’s a combination of planning, reflecting, and journaling.

I lay out the day’s schedule, outline my one most important priority that deserves the most energy, and then I pause to assess how I’m feeling, what I’m excited about, and what I’m grateful for. I always peek at the previous day’s entry to reflect on how I did – what I accomplished, who I connected with, and most importantly, how I felt.

The best part is looking back over a few weeks worth of entries and seeing the patterns that start to take shape. There’s a famous saying: “What gets measured gets managed,” but I think more importantly, what gets measured gives insight. That’s true in business and in life.

I just bought and started the year off with this notebook – it is very similar to the one I created for myself over the years!”

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! I could have used this practice this morning when I started my workday – totally overwhelmed! I am going to start this and buy a new notebook to dedicate to this practice.

Christene Barberich |

Christene and I were connected at least 3 years ago when we were both deep in transitioning from our former lives (businesses) to the deep abyss of “what now?! ”It was SO helpful and special to be able to be honest and share this sort of rare and very tricky space together. Christene was the first person I heard/knew to join Substack and I have been enjoying her thrifting, style and projects ever since she launched A TINY APT.

“The first thing I do every morning before I take a walk, is burn a little incense and write in my journal/weekly agenda. Usually it’s not a lot of writing...sometimes I just write down what I’m thankful for and put some stickers from John Derian’s book around the page to kind of root me in the day. Having that 20 minutes or so to just peacefully orient as the new day is beginning is something I truly cherish.

And I find that my patience and focus are both better throughout the day, with my family and work/writing, when I’m loyal to the process. For me, it’s never about big things/changes...it always starts with these little ceremonies we can have with ourselves that settle our souls and make us feel energized by what’s possible.

My favorite incense by Astier de Villatte is the Stockholm scent. My favorite journal is by Creative Case Study. The weekly agenda I’m using this year is by Maharam.”

Jessie Freschl |

I was introduced to Jessie this fall, and it feels like we have been cosmic friends forever. Another Wisconsonite, like Katie Sturino! I am in awe of Jessie’s capacity – running her styling business, developing a wardrobe management technology system and founding and running a thriving non-profit to empower less empowered students in the fashion industry through educational and study cohorts. I’m exhausted just sharing this!

“Since I was a little girl, I’ve been drawn to seeing the world from a different angle—often quite literally, upside down. As I got older, my introduction to Ashtanga Yoga gave that instinct a deeper meaning and discipline. Now, inversions – headstands, handstands, downward dogs – have become part of my daily rhythm; I can’t remember a day without one.

My Just One Thing: taking a moment to see life from an inverted view and breathing through any of the discomfort. Letting the blood flow to my head, testing my balance, and focusing on the steadiness of my breath, always brings me back to center, offering clarity, grounding, and renewed energy.”

Danielle Moss |

Danielle reached out to me early on in my “coming clean” tour as we shared some similar past founder experiences, and we have been connected ever since. She was a huge inspiration to me to open up here on Substack. She is a mother of 3 (very little ones) and runs her personal media empire too. She is an incredible sharer and I knew she would have a great Just One Thing.

“I spent much of 2025 feeling anxious and overwhelmed, constantly shifting between the many moving parts of my work without a clear plan in place. Going into 2026, I knew something had to give. So this year I am focused on prioritizing experiences.

Next week, I’m visiting one of my best friends in California, and I’ve planned two solo (mother/daughter) trips with each of my girls the next few months.

I want to enjoy my life, be present for it, and remember that the point of doing all of this work is to actually live.”

David Stewart | Ageist & Super Age

A Just One Thing list could not have been complete without asking my friend, David Stewart, eternal optimist and crusader who is the expert on rethinking age, health & human potential. Be sure to check out David’s very worthwhile platforms- James and I both read his daily newsletters!

“My Just One Thing: I need to vigorously use my body daily. I once spent the better part of a year in a hospital. That was almost 20 years ago, and since then I have treated exercise as a wondrous treat, something I get to do, not have to do.

Pretty much every day, no matter where in the world I am, I will make time to move with intention, either in a gym, outdoors, my home, or a hotel room. Just 20 minutes and I feel better, my brain works better, and the people around me find me vastly more pleasant to be with.”

Just One Thing LAUNDRY LIST:

1. Morning Warm Water – lime/lemon & maybe a pinch of salt

2. Protein Shake

3. Daily Mini-Adventure

4. Night-Time Energy Clearing Shower with Salt

5. Nightly Bed Warmer

6. Intentional Daily Planning/Reflecting

7. Morning Journaling

8. Go Upside Down (or downward dog will do)

9. Focus on Experiences

10. Daily Movement of Any Kind (is a treat)