Every day thinking becomes cheaper, more convenient and the results it creates more abundant. As a result, your mind is decaying. Every device, app, platform and Ai tool that promises more connection is creating disconnection at a level we do not yet comprehend.

Give your phone a tap quick. What do you see?

Notification after notification grabbing for the attention of your mind to think, worry and ruminate about. Every time it pings you’re torn out of the present moment and to the stream of endless thoughts. Resulting in a cascade of chemical consequences determined by the origin of the ping. Dopamine. Adrenaline. Cortisol. All get dumped into the body every time there is the right ‘trigger’.

We’ve got the world at our fingertips without ever considering the long term consequences. I’m not talking about negative effects like lack of attention, lack of productivity or blue light. I’m talking about the decaying of the human mind. The de-evolution of human consciousness. The very technology that we’re developing to catapult us forward into the next level of human experience is actually sling-shotting us backwards.

In his book, Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi identified that optimal life experience is determine by one thing — the ability for one to control consciousness. Said more clearly, the quality of your life is determined by how well you can control your Mind. Unfortunately, our modern world is making it near impossible for you control it. You are continuously giving it to external sources. And...

The more that you place your consciousness inside of a screen the more that you lose access to controlling it.

The more you consume the more your mind craves simplicity

You feel the craving for simplicity. The craving that the extreme complexity of our world makes impossible to find.

There is an inverse relationship between technological and intellectual advancement. The more complex your external world becomes the more difficult it is to create order within it. In his book, Csikszentmihalyi describes the controlling of consciousness as the process of creating order. You can’t control what you can’t keep up with.

The rapid changes that we’re experiencing are widening the gap between the two. Leaving us in world of extreme complexity, begging for simplicity, yet unable to locate it. When you’re focusing your attention on ordering the chaos the world around you it leaves little room for ordering the chaos within you. Your mind craves the creation of simplicity amongst extreme complexity. But, with every leap in technology the avalanche of disorder continues to roll.

Without that order within, you start to disappear into the pieces.

Without Order You’re Left With Fragmentation

Who’s creating order in your world?

When you wake in the morning what is the first thing you do? Check your phone. Look up the marketing metrics. Review emails. Scroll social media. Read the news. Respond to messages.

Each one serving as a different trigger that determines your response. Good day marketing equates to positive feelings. Negative review from a client cancels them out. The latest viral trend on social starts your strategic mind planning your next content piece around it.

By the time you get out of bed your mind is being controlled by 3-4 external sources. Each one requiring a different version of yourself to response. Which is where the real problem lies. It’s not the screen time that’s decaying your Mind. It’s the fragmentation that is created as a result.

Jung identified what he called the ‘persona’ — or the social mask that people wear to be accepted in social situations. Different social interactions require different personas. Each trigger the screen feeds you, a new mask is activated. The marketing guru. The customer service rep. The coach. The parent. The CEO. Each one striving to be accepted by a different source.

No wonder entrepreneurs burnout. The neurological demand to maintain each mask is heavy. Your prefrontal cortex must work overtime to maintain the proper mask for each situation. Which is why by the end of the week you’re telling your partner that you just want to rest and talk to no one.

When you carry out this pattern of behavior long enough you find yourself in a place where you, the real YOU, is buried beneath all of the masks. Which is where I found myself at 35 years old. Not knowing who I was because I’d spent my whole life constructing who I thought the world wanted me to be.

I spent 2 years peeling back the masks and removing the armor to find ME underneath. I pieced together the events and drivers that led me to that point. What I found was that there were people who knew what was coming. For over a hundred years. They tried to warn us. We didn’t listen.

There’s a Truth They Always Knew But You Were Never Told

The detrimental effects of technology on the Mind isn’t breaking news. We have been aware of this problem for well over a hundred years. Each time we’ve advanced technologically there have been mental, physiological and spiritual consequences.

In his book , Man Unknown, the french surgeon Alexis Carrel writes on the negative impact that lights and sounds were having on children in inner cities. They had identified that children who grew up in the cities of lights and sound were less intelligent than their rural counterparts. They documented the distracting and confusing nature that the lights presented for the children. Existing in this new, sensory rich environment made it more difficult to focus their attention and control their consciousness.

We see this today when we compare the pockets of civilizations that exist like the Amish with more advanced cultures. They show significantly lower levels of stress, psychological disorders and neurological disease. Meanwhile, mainstream America has doubled down on their prescription medications for emotional distress in the last 20 years.

Which makes sense when you look at how most spend their days with their face buried in a screen. Swiping until they get the right chemical hit. What they don’t see are the unconscious seeds planted that will eventually take root. Carl Jung identified the dangerous effects of rapidly changing images on the human mind. The overwhelming sensory stimulation opens the door for the unconscious mind. As a result, there are seeds of ideas and thought planted there. Each acting as it’s own external source of control over your consciousness. Instead of heeding his warning, we’ve capitalized on it with subliminal advertising strategies. And...Most recently, Tiktok.

The result is a mind that is overwhelmed with the complexities of the external world. All of which are grasping for it’s control. Pushing and pulling it in every direction. Leaving you to only react to each stimulus. Like a robot reacts to a line of code.

This also stops us from creating more complexity of Self, which is also craved. The Self cannot grow when it’s buried under 10 feet of complex snow. We’re left only with the faint whispers of the guiding voice that once bellowed before.

The Voice You’ve Been Taught To Silence…

…but there’s something they never told you about that voice.

One of my favorite current past-times is watching my son play in his own world. He’s two and a half now and he’s a talking fene. So, I don’t just get to watch. I get to listen to the play-by-play of what’s happening. He’s narrating his experience while it happens.

For who? You might ask. For his Mind.

This is a common behavior for young children (and some adults too). It used to be assumed that this behavior was a sign of immaturity. In 1954, a Russian Psychologist, Igor Vygotsky’s sociocultural theory of cognitive development surfaced to show it’s quiet the opposite. Which could possibly be why his work was suppressed by the Soviet government for two decades after his death.

Vygotsky’s theory showed how children use their language as a means to focus and control their own mind. The narration of the activity keeps them focused on the activity. It also helps them solve complex problems by talking themselves through it.

I noticed this with my son as he narrated the exact steps for making s’mores to grandma beside the fire last week. He narrates these events in a tone that signals he’s looking for confirmation. Confirmation that he understands how the marshmallow went from white to crispy brown in a bed of milky chocolate, sandwhiched between two crunchy crackers.

And...Finally, “...goes in my tummy” as he says.

This voice. The narrator. Eventually, will become the inner voice that guides the mind. The voice you’re reading with right now is the voice you used to narrate your first s’mores experience with. Just older and molded by your life experiences, beliefs and unconscious patterns.

You can use this to your advantage or your detriment. A study in 2012 showed that by speaking the name of an object out loud helps you locate it quicker. Or for controlling the mind, a study in 2017 showed something fascinating. By simply changing the words one speaks to themselves they can change their thought patterns.

In the study, participants changed from saying “why am I feeling this” to “why is [John] feeling this” and found it halted rumination activity within one second. These more modern studies are proving what Vygotsky proposed almost a century ago — the inner voice is the engine of thought.

The power of that voice goes farther than you realize. Think about it for a second, what else does your voice do? It identifies you. That voice is unique to you. Which is something the ancient traditions understood. Pythagoras proposed that every living organism emits sound. A unique tone or a vibrational fingerprint if you will. The sound-print of the Soul expressing through the body.

“Your voice is unique to you. The vibration of your True voice resonates within your soul and the soul of The Universe... Everything is an Individuation of One. NOT replication. Replication CANNOT exist in The Universe. Therefore, if you replicate your voice, YOU no longer exist.” - Finding YOU

Which gives this new Ai world we’re entering, an entirely different meaning...

Right now there is a race to inject AI into every aspect of our lives. Companies will clone you into a digital version and program it to respond to your team. So you don’t have to personally take your time to talk with them.

Think about that.

The pressure is increasing to outsource your voice. The one thing Vygotsky proved is the engine of thought. The one thing the ancients knew was the sound of your soul.

If you hand that away, what’s left?

So what do you do about it? Decide to become sovereign over your own consciousness

Unless a person knows how to give order to his or her thoughts, attention will be attracted to whatever is most problematic at the moment: it will focus on some real or imaginary pain, on recent grudges or long-term.

A Sovereign Mind is one that is free from the control of external sources. It has created an order within it’s consciousness that allows for the concentration of attention on the individual’s desires at will.

In many ancient traditions a sovereign mind is equated to a state of enlightenment. While this is true. You don’t have to experience enlightenment to achieve a sovereign mind. You can however learn, from those who have walked the path, the patterns of thought and behavior that create it. If there is one thing for certain, it’s that a sovereign mind is created, cultivated, and curated over time through practice.

Cultivate and curate your sovereign mind by following these practices.

1. Decrease The Input

The shape and content of life depend on how attention has been used.

-Flow

Energy flows where your focus goes, says Tony Robbins. The information you’re placing in your conscious awareness is determining your life experience. The most fearful people you know are people who fill their minds with fearful images. They marinate every day in the mania of the media then wonder why they’re so unhappy.

You have to become the gate keeper for your Mind. What are you allowing in? Start by cutting out one source of negative input at a time. It might be the news, social media, porn, video games, movies etc. Anything that is taking your attention and isn’t serving you.

If you say that you can’t cut anything (that’s just a limiting belief that can be removed) start by decreasing the time spent overall. The more that you remove the negative inputs the more space you have available for the positive to come in. You have to make space to be able to receive.

2. Amplify The Voice Within

He who knows himself, knows the ALL

-Hermes Trismegistus

That voice you’ve been taught to silence can be heard again. Just like a muscle grows or skill-set is enhanced with repetition. The voice within can be amplified through dedicated practice. The dedicated practice takes on two forms. Listening. Expressing.

Listening requires you to focus your attention on the signals sent from within. The voice within can be heard in the Mind as well as in the body. The more that you learn to tune into these signals, the more amplified they become. The gut hit you receive each time your business partner calls starts to have a meaning beyond the knot.

The best way I’ve found to express it is with stream of consciousness journaling. This method of writing allows your unconscious mind to express itself unfiltered. If there’s an issue in your life, write about it. All of it. The emotions you’re feeling, the actions you want to take, your perception of the events. Get everything out on paper and a pattern will emerge.

The more clear you get on voice within the more you can follow it. Which is how you build the next requirement of a Sovereign Mind — Trust.

3. Earn Your Trust

“Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much.”
— Luke 16:10

Trust is earned, not given. That goes for yourself too. If you desire to have more control over your consciousness, your mind needs to trust you to control it. I’ve found in my own experience and through studying the ancient and mystical doctrines that trust is earned with proof. That proof comes in the form of making commitments to oneself and sticking to them.

A simple concept. Yes. A challenging habit to stick to once you see the depth. There are dozens of commitments that you make to yourself everyday. And. Unfortunately, you break most of them.

These range from simple commitments like telling yourself that you’re done scrolling for the day. Then, picking up your phone five minutes later. To promising yourself that you no longer will tolerate the manipulative behavior of another. Then, continuously putting yourself into the manipulative situations. You don’t realize it in the moment but each time one of these commitments isn’t followed, trust is lost.

When you don’t trust yourself you begin to rely on other sources more to accommodate the need. The external sources aren’t just triggering reactions. Now, they’re validating the results as well.

Turn the tides and build your trust within by making and keeping these three levels of commitments.

Micro -Daily habits like nutritional or training habits are a great place to start.

Macro - Lifestyle choices like how you spend time and who it’s with.

Mega - Belief system level commitments that you’re willing to stand unwaiveringly on.

Over time the Trust in yourself will grow and the need for outside influence or affirmation will cease. The voice within can guide you through any challenge.

4. Provide Purpose

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
— Proverbs 29:18

My brother had an Australian Cattle Dog. A genius canine with unlimited energy. You could give it a task with instructions and it would follow. Put it to work and it won’t stop until the job is done. Throw a ball and it will chase it indefinitely. When these dogs have a purpose they can do amazing things.

Without a purpose they can become a nightmare. Digging holes. Destroying furniture. Herding children. Nagging for attention. They will find a way to give themselves purpose and expend energy. Without a way to focus, control and concentrate their energy — it runs wild.

The same happens for your Mind. Without a goal to pursue, challenge to overcome and direction to focus it’s energy — it runs wild. The external sources that it’s being fed each day on the screen in front of you become the rudder that steers the ship. Give yourself a clear purpose and your mind receives a clear direction.

These practices are more of a lifestyle to adopt. Which can be overwhelming to consider. But there’s a simpler way to think about all of it...

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Sometimes You Must Go Backwards In Order To Go Forward

One of my favorite modern movies is Steven Spielberg’s, Ready Player One. It’s a great tale of the hero’s journey that very much relates to our current world. The movie takes place in the future, at a time where humans spend the majority of their days in a virtual reality world called The Oasis. The civilization has reached a point where the virtual world is more valuable than the physical world. Upon his passing, the creator The Oasis starts a 3-part challenge where anyone can win the control and fortune of The Oasis.

The first challenge is a race that is impossible to win. Every person who participates fails. They It’s not until the main character does something crazy and wins. His crazy stunt was to drive backwards.

Why can’t we go backwards, for once? Backwards, really fast. Fast as we can. Really put the pedal to the metal, you know

Sometimes when the world is moving in one direction, the only way to win is to run the other way.

Right now, the direction is moving towards using Ai solve our problems so we don’t have to. But, that’s what we do. That’s what makes us human. Our ability to reflect, introspect and navigate the complexities of the world by simplifying them with our mind.

If we relinquish that ability than we’re no more evolved than an animal. Or worse. An automaton. A robot. We become the thing we fear will replace us. Or maybe that is how they replace us.

We replace ourselves...

Ryan

P.S. I’m not saying to avoid tech or Ai at all costs. Use it. Just use it to amplify not replace. Outsource meaningless tasks. Offload the mental overload. But…Keep hold of your deep thinking. Express your thoughts first and amplify with tech second. This is the modern way to cultivate a sovereign mind.

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

You’ve heard that before. Even told yourself that to justify the stress keeping you awake at night. There’s a belief baked into our culture that mental peace is the trade required in the pursuit of success. Something earned, only once you arrive. A quiet mind is not a place to arrive at. It’s always there. Buried under the weight of the load

Your mind has been running for so long that you’ve forgotten what silence sounds like. More importantly, you’ve forgotten what it feels like. I’m not talking the silence you don’t hear with your ears. I’m talking about the space between the endless stream of thoughts. It’s disappeared.

Like someone who moves to the city gets used to the sound of traffic at night, you’ve gotten used to this low hum in the background of your life. It’s been there for so long that you don’t even notice it.

The intrusive thought about the business that pops in during conversation with your partner. The mental rehearsal of your upcoming meeting that happens in the shower. The future you’re worrying into existence. The past you’re trying to talk yourself out of remembering. This is the hum that pervades the minds of many.

We attempt to define it with all sorts of names....

“An overactive mind”

“A worrisome mind”

“An anxious mind”

“A busy mind”

Often these labels point at the Mind as the problem to be solved. The truth is that it has nothing to do with the mind itself. The problem is due to the load that it’s carrying. When that load lightens the hum quiets. Space is created. Silence is the what’s left when you subtract everything you don’t need to carry.

The most direct path to quieting the mind and finding calm is not addition. It’s subtraction.

“Nature does not hoard as man does — it extends. It is unlimited in its extension. The more it extends, the more is given to it for re-extension. Man must do likewise.” — Walter Russell,

Like a Sherpa guides you to lighten your pack before the ascent up to the summit. The following words will begin the process of lightening your load as you ascend your own summit.

I call the process Unpacking the Load.

It begins by identifying the three compartments where you’re carrying the most weight. Then, one item at a time, you begin to empty each compartment. We start with heaviest items so that each subtraction comes with less resistance.

Losing My Home Forced Me To Pack Lighter

After driving for 26 hours, we arrived home. When I went to open the door, it was stuck. Wouldn’t budge. I could hear water running in the kitchen. Panicked, I ran around to the side door. I opened the door and was met with a waterfall of water rushing down the stairs. The smoke alarms were blaring. The ceilings were caving in. Icicles the size of small tree trunks were hanging out the window. Our house was destroyed.

Here’s what it looked like:

I remember walking out of the house soaking wet and freezing cold. I turned to my wife and said “I can’t do this. I’m leaving it and going back to Florida.” My load became too much for me to carry. Running three businesses, living in two different locations, managing 4 properties and all of the other events of life left me with zero capacity. Something needed to change. I needed to lighten my load.

In ,’s book, Unhinged Habits, he uses the analogy of a backpack to explain the load that we carry through life. There are three compartments in the backpack where we collect and acquire ‘things’ to carry. Over the next 3 years I would embark on the process of unpacking my overloaded backpack.

Unpack Your Load

There are three compartments in the backpack we carry throughout life. The first is our mental compartment, the ideas, thoughts, beliefs and values we pick up along the way. Second is our physical compartment. This is a collection of all our ‘things’ we acquire. Finally, the identity compartment. This is where all of the roles, masks, and armor we’ve attached to the identity of who we are resides.

All of these add weight to the Mind. The thoughts unexpressed pile up. The things we acquire create reasons to worry. The masks that we wear create an internal conflict heavier than the rest. Each one dragging us down.

The process that I went through to unload my own backpack is same as what Jon described and recommends — subtraction. Or, as he called it, ruthlessly editing what you cary with you through life.

The Pre-play/Replay Loop

The mental compartment is where most people live. In a way it consumes the others. What you acquire, you think about. When you try to be someone, you have to think about it. All of the weight you hold impacts your mind the most.

For over a decade, I lived inside what I call the Pre-play/Replay Loop. I attended every business meeting twice…Once in my head to plan and prepare (more like ten times), then again in the actual meeting to execute.

I thought this was a beneficial strategy for success. I would replay every talking point, every objection, every conflict, every conversation. The program would run on repeat until I had a plan for each.

The problem with this is that when your Mind is filled to capacity, there’s no room to receive anything new. When things don’t go according to plan, there is no room for adapting. I would be so stuck on the plans in my head that if they didn’t go exactly as I had rehearsed I would become frustrated. Fixated on bringing the conversation back on track to my intended plan I was never present enough to listen to what others were saying and needing in that moment. It’s kind of like when you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re waiting to say what they want versus listening to what you’re saying.

Sound familiar?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t plan. There is a difference between strategic foresight and the Pre-play/Replay Loop. One keeps the ship on course while the other is like dropping an anchor in the water. It burns bandwidth and requires the ship to use even more energy to get to it’s destination.

When you’re pre-playing and replaying conversations you’re also activating the emotions involved. You’re essentially injecting yourself with a dose of fear, anger, envy or sadness with each thought. Whichever is your drug of choice.

That’s why the Pre-play/Replay Loop is one of the heaviest mental loads. It’s mentally and emotionally taxing.

Here’s 2 quick ways to unload your mental compartment:

Dump It

Take out a sheet of paper.

Write down every future event or past experience that currently sits in your mind. Specifically, write out that the thoughts in your mind about that event. Get them all out on the paper.

Then, throw it away.

This is a literal and metaphorical way of emptying an overloaded mental compartment.

Interrupt It

When I used to find myself dealing with intrusive thoughts I would sing to interrupt them. As soon as it popped in I would begin singing. This interrupts and halts the thought patter in it’s tracks.

If you’re in conversation it may look strange to start singing. So, you can interrupt the thought another way by responding internally with “I’m good, I got this”. That little reminder to your mind allows it to release the load.

The more you acquire, the less you experience

I’ve found that as you acquire more things in life those things you own have a tendency of owning you. Clothes. Cars. Gadgets. Accessories. Houses. Businesses. The more things you have the more you have to think about. The more valuable they are the more you worry about them. The more effort required to maintain them the more you have to focus on them. The cost goes far beyond money.

In the process of unloading the things I acquired and thought I needed, I discovered the mental space to focus on what I actually needed.

What are two physical items you can let go of that you don’t need?

To reduce the load in the Mind you need to reduce the load your putting on the body. Specifically, your nervous system. When your nervous system is in an elevated state it signals the mind to fight or flight. As a result, the mind is now scanning, searching, and preparing for battle. The body follows and the stress chemicals flood your system. As the adrenaline spikes it keeps you from experiencing the present. Like flexing a muscle, both systems grow more tense over time.

For close to two decades my life ran on adrenaline and caffeine.

The 4:00 AM pre-workout kick started the engine. Then, a double espresso carried me through the Pre-play/Replay loop. Analyzing the upcoming conversation, potential objection, and preparing for every conceivable outcome. By the time I actually sat down to work, my nervous system was locked into fight mode. Down another coffee in the name of focus and my heart was racing. My hands were cold and clammy. My stomach was in knots. I didn’t realize it but I was burning myself out — from the inside out.

This routine was forcing my nervous system to stay in a state of high alert for hours on end. Sometimes days on end. Then, I’d get frustrated when I couldn’t turn it off at night. I was pouring jet fuel into a system that was already pinged to the max. The heavier the load got the more fuel I thought I needed. In reality, it was the opposite. I needed to give my system a chance to breathe instead of smothering it with fuel.

It wasn’t until I gave my nervous system the rest and recovery it needed that it could process the load weighing it down. Take some time to do an inventory on what you’re consuming. Then, start subtracting.

What are you using to power through because the load is too heavy to carry without it?

Who You Built to Survive

To get to where you are in life you needed to adapt. Forged through every obstacle you’ve overcome. You built a version of yourself that could carry the load. I know, because I did too...

I spent years building a version of myself who could carry anything.

With every obstacle or challenge that came, a new layer of armor was formed. With every judgment or criticism that came, a part was hidden from view. Each role I acquired — required a new mask to be created.

I didn’t see the weight that each layer of armor and mask carried. They all required a different operating system. The CEO had to be decisive. The leader had to be steady. The provider had to be calm. The fitness guy had to be jacked and ripped. The business guy had to be strategic and insightful. The guy on social media who “had it together” had to keep his mouth shut about what was actually going on inside.

Eventually, the programs started conflicting. The CEO wanted to keep pushing. The child inside wanted to play. The protector wanted rest. But, the strategist kept the programs running 24/7. I’d wake up at 4 a.m. before my mastermind events in a cold sweat exhausted. I would tell myself it was just pre-event nerves. Looking back on it I can see that it was the weight of carrying versions of myself that I no longer needed to be. Once I let them go the cold sweats in the morning stopped as well.

The heaviest items in the backpack aren’t the thoughts or the things. They’re the selves you created to survive a time that has passed.

Layer by layer they’ve been weighing you down. It’s time to lighten the load you’re carrying and create the space your mind craves. Easier said than done, I know. So, here’s what helped me:

To start, I asked myself one question, over and over, until I got an honest answer:

Who am I pretending to be that is exhausting me?

Then, I used an exercise from my book, Finding ME, The Wheel of Awareness to understand how they were impacting the different areas of my life. This clarity created space and gave me the steps to let go.

Go through this short video and fill out the worksheet, let me know what you find:

Download Worksheet

To let go of the past versions you have to get clear on the one’s you’re still carrying. The masks are the hardest to unpack because you’ve worn them the longest. But once you start, you realize something.

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Fish don’t know they’re wet...

A fish doesn’t know it’s wet. You don’t know you’re carrying the load because you’ve always carried it. Like the water for the fish, it’s become the background of your life. Unlike the fish — you don’t need it to survive.

If you’re like me and you built everything in your life by adding. I encourage you consider that the peace you are looking for is what is left when you stop. The key to traveling far and wide in the experience that is life’s journey is to keep lightening your load. Remove the excess that’s been weighing you down. Create space to receive more and you will.

The Sherpa doesn’t carry your pack for you. He just shows you what you can leave behind. You’re the only one that can unload it. I hope this helps you get started….

What is in your backpack that you’re ready to unpack?

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free Resources

​​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​

YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse

​Get Personalized Help​

Books: ​Finding ME

Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

Every year when the first day came around, I would find myself sick to my stomach lying in bed. Like clockwork, I’d wake up, feel the nausea, and convince my mother I couldn’t go. I was so convincing, in fact, that one year when my grandfather tried walking me to school, I threw up on the front doors. That was my ticket home.

In 8th grade, I missed the first two weeks.

That’s how riddled with anxiety I was.

This didn’t go away. It followed me into my late teens and early professional career. When I opened my gym, the first time I ran a group training session, I was drenched with sweat before it began. My hands trembled the whole time. Before my first mastermind events, I’d wake up at 4 a.m. with cold sweats and spend the morning dealing with the same sickness I experienced as a child.

This pre-event anxiety stayed with me into my early thirties.

Until I learned how to change it.

I no longer experience life that way. Here’s what I discovered in getting here, and the framework I now use with clients to do the same.

The Story You’re Telling Yourself

I can get behind that. Mostly. What I like about that perspective is it gives you a useful way to perceive anxiety as a whole. Here’s what I mean.

Since the future hasn’t happened yet, the fear we have is not based in reality. It’s based in a story. A story we constructed about a potential future reality. That story was built by our past experiences. The beliefs we were instilled with. The ideals we adopted over time. But in the end, it’s nothing more than a story. And if that story is not reality, then it cannot be true.

It’s just a story.

Unfortunately, that story playing on repeat in our heads creates the very experience we’re wishing to avoid.

What you hold in mind tends to manifest.

There’s a universal law at play here: every thought in the mental world must yield an effect in the physical world. The more you replay that story, the more likely it is to happen.

In my story above, I was so consumed with what other people thought of me that I missed the first two weeks of 8th grade. Ironically, missing those two weeks brought even more attention to me. It created the exact scenario I feared. My noticeable absence meant people had to ask questions. Why wasn’t he here? My fellow students now had to think about me. The very thing I was terrified of.

I created it.

This is how our minds manifest reality. Once you realize that the anxiety you’re experiencing is based on a story you wrote, an opportunity emerges. If you wrote the story, you can rewrite it.

But before you can write a new one, you have to understand where the old one came from.

The Parts You’ve Been Ignoring

Do you ever feel like there’s a part of you that has strong opinions about a specific subject? A cause. A behavior you find unacceptable. And then, do you have another part of you that feels less intensely about that same topic?

If so, is it safe to say you have different aspects of yourself? Different parts of yourself?

Where do they live? Inside. Good.

So inside of you, there are different parts of you. Weird? Nah. Totally normal. Welcome to the club.

In my book, Finding ME, I discuss three main archetypes: the Protector, the Hero, and the Child. If you’re familiar with Internal Family Systems, you may recognize this concept. Managers, firefighters, exiles. However you categorize them is fine. What matters is accepting that they are very much real. And these parts of you have needs, just like you, because they are you.

They also have roles.

The Protector that shows up in stressful situations, always scanning for danger, is serving a purpose. Even though the anxiety feels uncomfortable, it’s a signal with meaning. The Child that shows up with nervousness and fear before a big meeting is serving a purpose. The Hero who swoops in when everything flows is serving their own purpose too.

The issue is that the purpose these parts are serving is based on an event that happened twenty years ago and is no longer relevant.

But the story it created and the belief system operating as a result of it is still running.

In my example of missing school, those events created an automatic anxious response anytime I entered a new situation as an adult. That story of “what will they think of me” and the belief system it created were operating on autopilot. It was that third grader screaming out for help, not realizing that time has passed.

Those thoughts that seem irrational in the moment are completely rational on a different timeline. During the time when they actually served a purpose. When you dig down to the source and meet it with empathy, you can provide it with a new understanding and bring it forward to this timeline. Then the thoughts cease to exist. The new understanding provides enough clarity for acceptance. Acceptance allows you to move forward and make actionable changes.

Repeating this process over and over is what creates long-term transformation.

Fear is healed by love.

I’ve found that in moments of anxiety, there is often an underlying part of me that needs to be loved. The anxiety spikes before a mastermind event were my inner child signaling the need for support. I learned that in those moments, I just needed to go within and let him know things were all good. That I’d keep him safe.

As strange as it might sound, it works. I mean, real talk. You say enough bad shit to yourself. Why not start saying some good stuff and see what happens?

A different way to think about anxiety and irrational thinking.

I find that when I can shift my perspective on an experience and look at it in a new way I’m able to find new ways to navigate it.

Imagine that your head is filled with a balanced level of air and water. When we begin to have anxious thoughts our physiological patterns change and this balance gets disturbed. We fall out of balance and begin to have more air than water. Now, imagine that every thought pattern is like a high-voltage electrical charge. That charge is a signal jolting throughout the brain and body. When there is balanced air/water the charge travels smoothly. When there is too much air it’s like a lightning storm. We have electric and erratic air.

Through this perspective we can see two new ways to reduce anxiety and irrational thoughts in the moment.

Remove Your Anxiety and Irrational Thoughts In 10 Minutes

1. Reduce The Electrical Charges: Calm your mind and hold a single vision of thought or idea. This is how we reduce the electrical activity temporarily. The de-centration technique I described here is also an effective way to do this.

2. Balance The Air / Water: Breathe to re-establish the balance of air & water in the body. The breath is constantly balancing these elements through each inhalation and exhalation. The goal is to return to the rhythm of the universal pulse beat, a 1-2, slow in-hale. You can also follow the box breathing technique described here.

If you try this, shoot me a message and let me know how it goes.

Your Body Remembers

There was a period of my life where I felt I needed to wake up and immediately work out. If I didn’t, it could ruin my day. I used to say I needed to hit the gym in the morning to either kill the inner bitch or tame the inner beast before I could start my day. Because if I didn’t, I would hate the world.

I no longer need to go to the gym to release rage or kill anything. But I do enjoy early morning sessions. It’s like a meditation for me. And I have a better understanding of why I felt I needed to do that before.

Here’s what helped me understand the importance of movement.

Imagine that just like you have a physical body, you have an emotional body. An energetic silhouette connected to your physical body. I believe it’s the fascial system. This emotional body exists in three phases of water: the crystalline rigid form of ice, the liquid form, and vapor or steam.

As you go through life and suppress emotions from certain experiences, the water hardens into ice. If you’re someone who’s said “I don’t feel anything,” you can imagine that your emotional body is all ice. Rigid. Hard. Not free-flowing. As you mature psychologically and emotionally, the ice begins to melt. Just like an iceberg, blocks break off and begin to flow. Those blocks of ice are the subconscious emotions and past experiences that have been locked away in the mind and body. When you start to process them, those blocks melt into water. As you transcend levels of consciousness, the water slowly evaporates into steam.

It’s not always possible to consciously identify and process locked-away emotions. But there is another way to transform ice into water.

Heat.

At some point in your life, you’ve probably experienced an emotional release while working out, running, doing yoga, or even in a sauna. Through movement and increasing the heat within the body, you can help get these blocks of ice moving. You can melt them into liquid.

In those anxious moments when you need relief: move. You can change your mental state by changing your physical state.

Signaling the Source

The signals between mind and body go both ways. By recognizing the patterns of physiological changes, you can identify the source of the signal. The different parts within you have their own physiological signals. These signals are related to the belief systems that determine how you respond in specific situations.

The part of you that takes over in a fearful situation shows up one way. The part that takes over in an aggressive, proactive situation shows up another. You may find that in times of extreme anxiety, there’s a specific posture you hold. I’m guessing it’s one that’s closed off. Maybe you have a habit for soothing: bouncing your knee, tapping your pencil, fidgeting with your fingers. Whatever it is, it’s a signal from your body indicating the state you’re in.

The more familiar you become with the physiological signals, the more you can connect them to the source. This is another layer of understanding that helps you gain clarity and start making changes.

Map the Pattern

One of the breakthrough insights in my book, Finding ME, was understanding how the physiological symptoms I was experiencing were connected to the psychological and consciousness states. Through stream-of-consciousness journaling and documenting the signals from each system, I was able to construct my own map. This allowed me to understand where I was at when my shoulders tensed up, my jaw became tight, and knots formed in my stomach.

My stomach issues were no longer indicating a flare-up of IBS, like my doctors as a teen led me to believe. They were indicating the underlying anxiety I was feeling before entering a specific situation. This new understanding allowed me to dig deeper into the true cause and work through it by processing the emotions instead of taking an antacid.

The Wheel of Awareness is an exercise I have clients go through to increase their understanding of their own states. It goes beyond physiological signals. It includes personal relationships, team members, and even self-interactions. The method for change is simple in theory: increase awareness and the signal becomes more clear. Clarity provides a deeper understanding of the internal and external experience. Along with that comes a dissipation of fear.

We fear what we do not know. If you want to dissipate the physiological symptoms of anxiety, gain a better understanding of what the signal means. Then work up the chain to the psychological events that created the physiological effect.

When you’ve mapped your patterns clearly, you can traverse them more readily.

You Are Not Your Anxiety

You are not your body. You can witness your body, therefore you are not your body. In the same respect, you can witness your thoughts. Therefore you are not your thoughts. You are an infinite being of consciousness who has power over their thoughts and body.

While accepting this view may be radically different than what you’ve been taught or currently believe, it empowers you to be at cause of every situation in your life. Including your anxiety and irrational thought loops.

Your consciousness is bringing into your awareness a faulty operating system. It’s this belief system that is causing your experience of anxiety. That label of “shyness” I had as a child carried with it a belief system around how a shy person operates. How they’re supposed to feel. How they show up. How they physically behave.

But that belief system was not ME.

Underneath every operation that is physical, chemical, or mechanical is an energetic foundation. These belief systems form the energetic blueprints of the physical world. Those anxious thoughts and bodily sensations you experience speaking in front of others are born of the belief system you have installed about speaking in front of others. That belief system opposes the truth of reality.

If every individual is an infinite being with the power to cause thoughts and changes in their body, then they are also capable of speaking and expressing their ideas in front of others. The belief that speaking in front of others is scary and they can’t do it effectively is false. Regardless of how many people would agree with that statement, it’s not true.

This opposition creates the effect of anxiety.

Remove the opposition and you remove the effect.

A lot of times, anxiety and irrational thought processes begin from entering into an experience or state of mind that is NOT you. It’s merely a programmed response to a story that has been running to protect you or serve you in some way. When you change the foundational story, you change the program.

But how do you actually do that?

The Breakthrough Blueprint: Four Programs to Rewire Anxiety

The only way to change the foundation is to dive into the deep waters of the unconscious mind and clean out the belief systems running the show. Before I went through formal training in mental and emotional release, I was able to make progress on my own using the method below. I named it the Breakthrough Blueprint.

I went back and reverse-engineered every major change I’ve made in my life. I discovered that before I was ever able to decide on a new direction, four things had to shift. These are the four programs that run us and end up creating our reality. At the base of all of them is what you’ve already been building: knowledge and understanding. Knowledge of who you are. Understanding of why you are that way and how you came to be. That’s always the foundation.

From there, four areas of your life can be adjusted to transform your belief systems.

1. Vision — Change the images of your mind.

Your life is literally images of the mind expressed to the extent that they are believed.

Your conscious mind imprints on your subconscious. Your subconscious creates your beliefs, your visualizations, and the stories you hold about yourself. It creates your perspective of the way the world works. As a result, that becomes the world you experience.

When you hold negative images, you experience a negative world. When you hold positive images, you experience a positive world. It sounds too simple to accept at face value, but it’s true. Your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a vividly imagined experience and a real-life experience. That’s why visualization works. That’s why the person who keeps saying “don’t hit the pole, don’t hit the pole” ends up hitting the pole. All they focused on was “hit the pole.” The subconscious doesn’t process negations.

Change the images of your mind and change the vision of your future.

2. Environment — Change what surrounds you, inside and out.

You need fertile soil and sunshine to grow plants. The same concept applies inside of you.

Your internal environment is brain health and gut health. Most of us are deficient in fatty acids, vitamin D, and vitamin K. Supplementing with fish oil and vitamin D is a simple start. But go deeper: 80 to 90 percent of your neurotransmitters originate in the gut. If your gut health is off, your mental state will follow. I spent years treating acid reflux with prescriptions before discovering what I was really deficient in. Take the time to get bloodwork and identify your own deficiencies.

Your external environment is about removing subconscious triggers: people, places, things, media. I still swear the single best thing I ever did for my mental health was stop watching TV and news back in 2014.

Create boundaries to set yourself up for a win instead of guaranteeing a loss. When you know you’re going to be drained after a big event, don’t schedule meetings the next day. When you know the holidays at home are trigger-heavy, plan your exits and your recovery time in advance. Boundaries are protecting yourself from yourself. You don’t always have to push through or grind.

3. Language — Change your thoughts and your words.

Language is the most important piece. If you listen intently to the words people speak, they will tell you exactly what’s wrong with them. And they’ll also tell you exactly how to fix it. But they don’t hear those words themselves.

There are two channels: your internal language (thoughts) and your external language (spoken words). You become what you think about, and your spoken words reinforce it. As Larry Broughton says: “Words have meaning. Use them wisely.”

Consider the words want and desire. They seem similar. Look closer.

The definition of want: to be without, to lack, destitute, needy, a defect of character, a fault, to be absent, to be deficient or lacking, not to be sufficient, to fall or come short.

The definition of desire: the natural longing excited by the enjoyment or thought of any good; it impels to action or effort; an eager wish to obtain or enjoy.

Very different. The more you “want” something, the farther it gets from you, because wanting is affirming a lack. You’re telling the world you don’t have it. But when you desire something, you’re just desiring the experience of it. The only thing you need to do is unlock the path to achieve it.

And the most potent words are: I am.

Be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you are claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. How many times have you heard someone say “I’m stupid,” “I’m an idiot,” “I’m nothing”? If you think that about yourself, you’re not going to attract others to follow you.

The internal work is learning to talk to your parts. I call it your internal leadership team. When you have a problem or a decision, ask each part what it thinks. The Child might be hurt and upset because they were let down. The Protector might be angry at the person who let you down and at yourself for allowing it. The Hero might just want to move forward in a different direction.

If all three are in conflict, you have chaos. If you can get two out of three aligned, you have a positive path forward. Having these internal conversations dampens the overwhelming pressure of decision-making. It opens your mind to possibilities you couldn’t see before. It’s questioning yourself the way you’d question a client: “What do you see? How do you feel about that? Is that true? What’s the proof?”

When one of your parts is in distress, apologizing, acknowledging it, and letting it know it’s safe will help. It sounds strange. Whisper it to yourself. You’ll be surprised.

4. Behavior — Act as if.

This is the final step that brings your vision, your thoughts, and your words into actual reality.

Here’s the thing to remember: you are not your conditions. Your behavior simply causes them. Everything in your world, the way you experience it, is 100 percent caused by your behavior. That’s painful to accept at first, because it means you caused the problem. But on the other side of that pain is power. If your behavior caused it, changing your behavior can change it.

The goal is to behave as if you are the person you want to become.

How would an emotionally resilient person handle this situation? How would a great leader respond to this question? By giving yourself a second to pause and ask those questions, you open the opportunity for behavior that aligns with that version of you.

When you align vision, environment, language, and behavior, two things happen: belief in yourself and certainty you’re moving in the right direction. Out of those, a subconscious decision to change emerges. A natural outcome of all four programs pointing the same way.

The Integration

Awareness precedes clarity.

Clarity precedes action.

Action precedes change.

Change precedes transformation.

This is the whole process. Think of it like a funnel…

The section of awareness is the largest at the top. If you’ve ever made a paper funnel, you know that the wider the top, the more narrow the bottom becomes. Just like a nail penetrates deeper into wood than a rock would. When the bottom of the funnel is narrow, we can penetrate deep into the foundational beliefs and make change. If we don’t narrow the funnel to a point, we’re banging on the surface with a rock. That doesn’t create much change.

To make precise changes and deep foundational belief shifts, you have to widen your awareness as much as possible first. Our human nature is to think we need to focus in and narrow down. Yet in this work, we need the opposite first. Awareness is what opens the door to go deeper. Without the breadth and width of awareness, you won’t be able to achieve much depth for change.

I’ll leave you with this from Carl Jung:

“Where your fear is, there your task is.”

Thirty years ago, my task was hiding in bed on the first day of school. Today, my task is writing this letter to you. The fear didn’t disappear. I learned to walk toward it instead of running. And every time I do, the anxiety loses a little more of its grip.

If you’ve got any questions, feel free to send me a message or drop it in the comments below

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

My stomach was so twisted I could barely eat. When I did, it felt like my throat was stuck in the shape of one of those squiggly straws. Each swallow got caught in my neck. Eating became a struggle of acquiring nutrition while trying not to choke.

The hardest part to process was that six months before this, I was completely free. After a spiritual awakening I still don’t have all the words for, it was as if I had released every block. My fascia was in a liquid state. Totally balanced. Then I walked back into the world wide open and absorbed the energy around me like a sponge. Unknowingly, I let it spiral me into a knot so tight I couldn’t swallow.

For two months I existed in this spiraled state. Lost. Scraping for a way out. I saw doctors, chiropractors, somatic therapists, energy healers, structural integration specialists, upper cervical specialists.

The imaging from the upper cervical specialists gave proof to what I was feeling inside. While I thought I was standing straight, my body was rotated over 3 degrees.

That number may seem small. But you can see the effect that rotation has on the whole body. The 3 degree twist in my neck pulled on my hips and shortened my leg by over an inch.

While each professional I saw didn’t have the silver bullet solution, they each provided a piece of understanding to the puzzling experience I was having. When I put all of the puzzle pieces together there was one common thread.

Fascia.

The House of God that the Soul Resides In

Fascia is the white web of connective tissue that wraps every muscle, bone, organ, and nerve in your body. Andrew Still, the father of Osteopathic Medicine, called it “the house of god that the soul resides in.”

It’s the communication network. More nerve endings than your skin. Think of the lines as rivers of vital energy. Everything passes through them. Food. Liquid. Emotions. Thoughts. Air. Energy.

A 2024 study in Frontiers in Neurology confirmed that fascia is “highly innervated and rich with blood vessels, lymphatics, and hormonal and neurotransmitter receptors... fascia may serve as a watchman, receiving and processing information on whole body health.”

Which I believe is why Still described it as the creator of life and bringer of death. I believe it is the most important system of the human body that we know almost nothing about. It is the physical manifestation of the underlying energetic world within the body.

Thomas Myers mapped these lines in his Anatomy Trains theory. He identified 12 major myofascial lines that link muscles together throughout the body.

Here is a dissection of the Deep Front Line to show how each line connects your tissues from head to toe:

I first started to notice these lines in myself when my body opened after the spiritual experience I mentioned.

You can see how holding weight in one arm activates the spiral line on the opposite side. This is what keeps you upright instead of being pulled down by the weight.

The Body Electric

Fascia has piezoelectric properties. Under mechanical stress it generates electrical charges. With a makeup of 70-80% water, it’s a great conductor. Dr. Bruce Lipton discovered that cells communicate with electrical signals before chemical or mechanical communication. This means the fascia is an electrical communication network that records every message sent. There’s an electrical memory of everything that happens within the body and the mind.

This electrical web is the bridge between the energetic and physical worlds.

How the Spiral Starts

Straight lines do not exist in Nature. Go outside and look around at the plants and trees you will see that it’s true. Every line in nature is curved. Spiraling away from center.

These fascial pathways are more like waves. Or spirals. Like a DNA strand, they weave together the garment that overlays your tissue. Every form of energy passes through them. The mental, emotional, and physical stress you carry resides in and creates changes within the fascia. It holds the patterns of your past.

When these pathways get blocked, the flow spirals around an energetic center point. The waste gets stuck. It ferments. Oxidizes. Crystallizes into tissue. Inflammation is the beginning. Pain is the signal. Disease is the end.

The Three Forces that Wind the Fascia Tight

Mental stress

Your Mind is the source of the electrical communication network. Every thought begins in the mind and travels down through the body. When you’re ruminating, planning, predicting, controlling, you’re spiraling yourself down. Like a spring, you’re compressing your whole system. This is why the anxious person deals with digestive issues. The angry person deals with liver issues. The constant mental focus in one direction spirals the tissue.

Hence, “I’m so anxious, my stomach is in knots.”

Emotional stress

When you’re constantly in fight or flight, your body takes on that pattern. It becomes your posture. The fears you’ve been carrying. The old wounds. The parts of yourself you blocked off. The armor you built is really a collection of stress and repressed emotions stored in the tissue.

You’ve seen this in people you know. The old curmudgeon with head pressed forward, chin tucked, shoulders rounded, hamstrings so tight they waddle. Then the friend who’s so laid back they walk with arms wide open, chest up, spring in every step. Two different psychological profiles manifested through the fascial system.

Physical stress

There was a 75 year old client who I trained that was in a car accident in their 50’s. After the accident they decided to sleep with a neck brace on. He couldn’t move his neck. Twenty five years of sleeping with a neck brace locked his head into one position.

The positions you hold most become the patterns you exhibit. The way you cross your legs, hold your arms, lay your head at night. The gym bro who overdevelops his chest and gets rounded shoulders. The desk worker hunched over a screen. The constant tension pulls them forward.

When the tension is released and new patterns are created, the proper lines can return.

The Fascial Unwind Method (The Three-Tiered Release)

When you apply force to nature, it responds with equal force. I learned this the hard way. The spiritual experience broke my body wide open. When you pull the ends of a spring apart quickly, it recoils with the same force. That rapid opening created an equal response, and my body snapped back into a compressed spring.

The process of unwinding your fascia is gentle. Establishing a new pattern takes frequency over time. Consistency compounds. Too much intensity can implode.

In 14 focused minutes a day you can release the mental, emotional and physical tensions locked in your body. These three tiers work together because the blocks are physical, and they hold the mental and emotional patterns. Clear the door and all three systems open.

Tier 1: Mental — Expand The Mind To Relax The Body

The mind creates the initial compression. This exercise unwinds it.

Get yourself seated comfortable in a dark room with a night light on the wall across from you. Ideally, the light is close to your eye level and about 10-12 feet away from you. You don’t want any other lights around it. Just that single light source in front of you.

Start by staring at the light. But, instead of focusing in on the light, allow your gaze to expand to your peripherals.

Try to see the whole room on the left and right sides of the light. Think of it like opening your eyes wider and wider. The goal is to do this without forcing it. Allow the muscles to relax and vision to expand.

As you begin to expand your vision you may start to notice that the nightlight begins to get blurry. Your eyes may water. That’s ok. Stay relaxed and allow the expansion to continue. Once you break past that point of slight discomfort something cool will happen….

…the nightlight will begin to split into two night lights. When this first happens it can be a bit startling and it’s natural for the light to snap back into one. If so, just calmly try again.

Once the light begins to split into two continue to allow the two lights to expand away from each other. Allow them to move apart as far as they can so it’s as if you’re seeing one light through your left eye and one through your right eye. Sit there for a moment with the two lights in your vision then allow them to slowly come back to center as one.

This is de-centration of Mind. Or, expansion. You’re allowing your sense and mind to open fully to the moment in present. You will notice that any thought of past or future disappears.

Before you can touch the tissue, you have to stop tightening it. The decentration exercise breaks the mental loop that keeps the fascia wound. Breath creates the space. The mind releases its grip. The body follows.

Start and end each day with this exercise.

Get The Book To Start To Heal Your Mind

Tier 2: Emotional — Mapping the Tightness to What Needs Processing

The body stores what the mind can’t process. Every tight line has an emotion behind it. The body is signaling exactly what needs your attention.

Example: Fear lives in flexion. The deep front line — the core stabilizer that runs from the jaw to the pelvic floor — is the protective sheet over your vital organs. It tightens when you’re bracing against threat.

Take a look at this picture from Frank Jones’ research with the startle response.

It shows a man standing before and after hearing the audible sound of a gun shot behind him. You can clearly see the tightening and protective fear response of the body.

This is an exercise that I use to help identify the underlying emotions the body is trying to signal to me (takes 4 minutes)

When you feel that pull in your throat, tightness in your chest, or nagging pain in your back, ask these questions to map the emotional pattern.

• Where do I feel the tightness specifically?

• What emotion lives in that pattern? (fear = flexion, anger = jaw/shoulders, grief = chest, shame = pelvis)

• Why do I feel this way right now?

• Who would I be if I released it?

Then state your intended desire: I desire to release the emotion of ______ and the tensions created in my ______.

If the Mind navigates the body then the Will and Desire are what steer the ship. This will help you use them to your advantage.

Tier 3: Physical — 5 Daily Exercises to Release Tension in The Body

Dr. John Barnes, who developed Myofascial Release, identified that sustained gentle pressure into the fascia creates a release the body directs. The body knows what it needs. When you know the lines, you know how to trigger the start of the release.

These are the ways I balance my own body. The ones that get tightest from daily compression. Do them in order. Takes about 14 minutes total.

Diaphragmatic breath with resonant voice (2 minutes)

The diaphragm is the primary pump of the fascial system. Breath creates space. Resonant voice breaks up the crystallized blocks.

Lie on your back with your feet up on a bench or couch, knees at 90 degrees. Hands on your belly. Breathe in deep and follow it all the way to your head. As you breathe out, hum vowel sounds as you expel all the air. Pause. Repeat for 2 minutes

Spiderman Twist (5 repetitions)

This movement opens and unwinds all the superficial lines of the body from head to tow. Make your movement intentional. Feel where the tightness is located and lean into it allowing the body to direct your twist.

Begin in the plank position and step one foot forward into a sprinters stance. Place the opposing hand on the floor. Create tension in your body from head to toe as you rotate your arm, chest and back open. Then, relax and allow the body to unwind as you return to rest. You can lower the elbow to the floor to increase the tension.

Forward Fold and Twist (3-4 repetitions)

The deep front line is one of the tightest lines for most people. It wraps around the back of the neck, which when tight creates tension in the superficial back line.

Stand tall. Chin tucked, head stacked over ribs, ribs over pelvis. Begin to fold starting at the first cervical vertebrae. Imagine each vertebrae folding over the next one. If you get stuck, pause and let your body navigate past the block. Once you’ve gone as far as you can, reverse the fold. Stack one vertebrae on top of the next until you’re standing tall again.

Head release (1-2 minutes)

When you’re in a high stress environment like entrepreneurship, the fascia in your head tightens. This creates headaches, neck aches, sinus issues, jaw pain, dry eyes, and even poor vision.

Stand upright. Feet hip-width apart. Spine lengthened, shoulders relaxed. Bring both hands to your face. Place your thumbs under your jaw near the angle of the jawbone. Rest your index, middle, and ring fingers lightly on your temples. Bring your pinkies to your closed eyelids, resting softly on the lid surface.

With very light pressure, move your pinkies in small circles around the eyelids, following the natural contour of the eye socket. Keep the rest of your fingers relaxed. Breathe calmly. Move slowly. Continue for 30-60 seconds.

Full body fascial unwinding (2-3 minutes)

After the lines are opened, let the body move itself. The fascia knows where it needs to go. Stand with eyes closed and let your body make micro-movements. Follow the impulse. Allow the body direct you as it unwinds.

Here is a video of what that looks like:

The Door

I still get tight. When the stress spikes, or I absorb the energy of someone carrying their own war, the old patterns come back. Unwinding is not a one-time fix. It’s a daily habit to find and maintain balance. As is life. Each step forward is into a state of unbalance only for our next step to land and find balance again.

These steps help you find balance on all planes. You can’t stretch your way out of a mental pattern. You can’t meditate your way out of a physical block. You have to work all three. You have to balance the Triad of You —Spiritual, Mental/Emotional & Physical.

It only takes 14 minutes a day to balance YOU.

In January, I couldn’t eat without choking. Today, I move through the day with freedom I didn’t know was possible. Some days I find myself in a knot (like after spending 5 hours in an airport carrying around my boys…then 3 hours on a plane) But, now I know how to untie it. I’ve been able to open the door to a sort of self-healing and balance myself from the inside out. The same is possible for you…

Andrew Still called the fascia the house of god. A testament to the importance it has in our health.

You’ve been locking the door from the inside for years. Without even knowing it. This daily practice can be your keys in away that open the door. You just have to dedicate 14 minutes a day to start unlocking it.

After about a week of implementing this method let me know what you find.

Talk soon.

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free Resources

​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​

YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse

​Get Personalized Help​

Books: ​Finding ME

Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

Most people spend their whole lives reacting to the effects. Like a leaf they are moved by the storms of their emotions. Blown by the winds of their neighbors judgment. Buried by the volcanic eruptions of their own ego. Forever reacting to what is placed in front of them.

They forget they have the power to be the cause instead of be at the mercy of the effects. This will help you remember…

The Leaf Mindset

You wake up and start your day reacting to the latest notifications on your phone.

An explosive email from a co-worker spins you into anxiety. Your partner’s sarcastic comment sends you into an outburst. The algorithm on social media feeds you a constant supply of fear and you gobble it up. Your whole day is spent reacting to the latest input.

This is what we call modern living. In reality, it’s nothing more than reacting.

As the leaf you don’t decide where the wind gust takes you. You land wherever it causes you to fall. This is how most people go about life because they don’t know another way.

I spent two decades getting blown about like the leaf. Grinding to climb my own mountain. Reacting to every fire life threw at me. From the outside it looked as though I was building something admirable. On the inside I was breaking apart. Because we’re not supposed to live this way.

Our ancestors did not live this way. They understood that beneath the chaos was a set of laws. Our ancestors knew these laws and were able to manifest their own desired reality by following them.

They were not leaves. They were trees. And, in some cases, they were nature itself.

Somewhere along the way, we forgot what they knew.

Old Ways, New Future: The Master Key

We look up those who excel in certain areas and label them “The G.O.A.T” — The Greatest Of All Time. There are ‘GOATS’ from all different disciplines and backgrounds. But, who is the ultimate GOAT? There is in fact a Greatest of all The ‘Greats’.

His name is Hermes Trisgemestus -- “thrice the great.”

The ancient Egyptians referred to him as the Master of all Masters and ’scribe of the gods’. He came before Christ, Moses and even Abraham. It is said that even the mystic teachings of Abraham were bestowed to him by Hermes himself.

Hermes was the original astronomer, founder of chemistry and true father of psychology. His understanding went deeper into these worlds than our modern teachers though. He understood how humans interacted directly with these domains. Astronomy was transformed into Astrology. chemistry became Alchemy and Psychology became mysticism. His knowledge combined the outer and inner worlds into one system.

The Teachings of the great Hermes are often referred to as the Master Key. Not considered to be a body of knowledge in themselves but rather the key that opens the door to the Knowledge of the Universe as a whole. The principle teachings are the Seed for Truth rather than containing the whole truth within them. When applied you open the doors to become a master of your health, relationships, work, and the mind itself.

Most of these teachings were communicated from lip to ear. Maintained by many of the secret societies throughout time. Very few complete original records exist and there is no single body of work to explain everything. The Knowledge itself is referred to as The Kybalion.

In early 20th century, three initiates distilled these principles into a book they titled The Kybalion (although different than the original).

They consolidated the The Ancient Hermetic Philosophy into 7 Principles:

• The Principle of Mentalism suggests that all existence is a mental construct within The All’s mind.

• The Principle of Correspondence highlights the interconnectedness of all planes of existence, mirroring The All’s essence.

• The Principle of Vibration states everything is in constant motion, with The All being the source of this vibration.

• The Principle of Polarity explains that opposites are extremes of the same thing and part of The All’s unity.

• The Principle of Rhythm speaks to the cyclical nature of everything, orchestrated by The All.

• The Principle of Cause and Effect indicates that everything happens according to law, with The All as the ultimate source.

• The Principle of Gender refers to active and receptive energies in all things, reflecting The All’s creative unity.

When you understand these principles, you become capable of using them to your advantage and literally transforming your life.

Here is how to use each one:

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7 Ancient Principles That Will Change Your Life

Mentalism: The Universe Is Mental

This is the foundation. It lays the groundwork for understanding how all of the other principles can be applied to our world.

Underneath everything that exists in our outward reality is a Substantial Reality from which it is born. Like the image on the TV screen is created from the underlying electrical components projecting it. The experience that you’re seeing right now in front of you is created from something. It did not just appear from nothing.

So what is that something?

The experience that we witness (the TV Screen) is the ‘Material Universe’. But, where did it come from?

The Hermeticists knew well what we have recently discovered: that matter is not the foundation of the Universe. Matter is nothing more than atoms vibrating at different speeds. What appears to be a solid chair that you’re sitting in is actually in motion. You can’t see that motion. But, it exists. How?

The underlying living energy that exists in everything, the ALL.

This sea of energy is all around us, and from that springs forward the physical world we experience. The ALL is the Infinite Living Mind. It is the only thing that really is. While everything else in our world only seems to be.

Ignore the urge to define what this substance is, how it looks, where it is etc. I find it easier to look at it this way: The ALL is a MIND. The Universal Mind. This can also be thought of as God or Spirit. Within everything that exists inside of the Universe is a piece of that Universal Mind.

The world that we experience is the physical reality of the ideas and thoughts of the Universal Mind. Therefore everything that exists in the universe, at it’s core, is a mental creation.

The seed of life is idea & thought.

The tree of life grows from that seed.

Those Who Know THIS Don’t Get Sick

Almost a decade ago I saw a video from Gary Vaynerchuk talking about how he doesn’t get sick. In the video, he discussed how he made a decision that he isn’t someone who gets sick. He hasn’t gotten sick ever since. I think it was five years at that point when the video was recorded that he hadn’t been sick.

I decided to experiment with his idea. I made that same declaration for myself and I’ve only been sick maybe 2-3 times in the last decade.

Seriously.

You’d be shocked to know that I don’t use every hand sanitizer bottle I see and routinely break the 5-second rule.

Yet, stellar health.

A little sarcasm there. But, I’m serious.

My Mind had an Idea of what my body would be... then I surrendered to my Mind’s idea and Listened to its guidance.

The way that you think, feel, imagine and talk about your own body creates an effect in your body. You have the ability to use that to your advantage or your detriment. Fill each one of those containers with positivity and you will experience positive health. Fill each one with negativity and you will experience the opposite effect. The people who worry the most about getting sick tend to be sick the most. This is the principle of Mind is cause at play.

Try This: Pick an area of your own health that you’d like to change and make your declaration.

I AM someone who _____________.

Make the decision and watch how your behavior follows.

Every Mind is Connected

When I was teenager, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. My grandfather, being the religious person that he was, prayed for God (Mind) to take the cancer out of her and put it inside of him. At my her following appointment the doctors couldn’t locate the cancer. It had mysteriously disappeared. My grandfather passed away from colon cancer a couple years later.

Utilizing this principle you can change lives beyond your own.

Correspondence: As Above, So Below

Exercise is often the catalyst to positive life change. You know this. You’ve experienced it. You start moving your body and everything else shifts. Your thoughts get clearer. Your mood lifts. The people you attract change.

This is Correspondence in action.

The Hermeticists understood that everything is the same but in varying degrees. There is a relationship between every plane of existence, even the ones we cannot directly perceive. The same way we use geometry to measure planets we’ve never visited while sitting in a chair here on Earth, we can use what we know about one plane to understand the others.

They identified three great planes: the Spiritual, the Mental, and the Physical. I call these the Triad of You: Mind, Body, Soul. Slightly different language. Same framework applied to the individual.

Stack them on top of each other and they form a hierarchy. Each plane above dictates what happens on the plane below it. At the same time, the events on the plane below reflect back to the plane above. Change on one creates change on all.

Here’s how it works in practice. When you exercise and eat better (Physical), your thoughts begin to improve (Mental). You feel more confident (Emotional). You find yourself distancing from negative people and bad influences (Spiritual). One change on one plane created a ripple through every other plane. You take advantage of this principle without knowing it.

The reverse is also true...

For years I had a constant knot in my upper back. No amount of stretching or release work would get rid of it. I tried everything physical. Nothing worked. It wasn’t until I started to do the mental work that the tension started to release. It wasn’t until I started to do the soul work that it finally let go. The knot was never just a physical problem. It was a physical manifestation of my Ego gripping for control and bracing for impact. The body was reflecting the mind. As below, so above.

Mind is Cause. When you change the Mind, the ripple moves down through every plane. When you ignore the Mind and only treat the body, you’re treating the symptom while the cause remains untouched.

You become empowered to make changes on any plane once you understand how they’re connected. The real power comes in leveraging the hierarchy. Start at the top. Change the thought. Watch the body follow. Watch the relationships shift. Watch the reality transform.

As a man thinketh, so he will be.

Here’s an example of the power of mind, watch what happens change around 4:50:

The Mind has the power to change the reality of the body.

Vibration: Nothing Rests

“You gotta raise your vibration, man” said in a Cheech and Chong voice.

You’ve heard this before. And, it’s true. Raise your vibration if you want to experience a better life. Sounds nice. But, what does it mean?

Nothing is exactly how it seems, only as it’s perceived to be.

Zoom in close enough on any solid object and you will see that they’re actually in constant motion. At the quantum level there are atoms colliding and waves of energy moving to create the physical form of that solid object that you see now. This motion is one of revolution and rotation. In the same way that the planets revolve around the sun and spin on their axis — the atoms that make up every piece of physical matter move. This motion manifests as vibration. The frequencies of these vibrations correlate to different states, planes, colors, sounds etc.

The Spinning Top

To illustrate this connection between vibration, states of matter, sound and color scientists use a spinning top or wheel.

When the top begins to spin it rotates at a low rate of speed (frequency) and is visible to the human eye. There is no sound that emits. As the top increases the frequency of rotation a low humming sound begins. As speed increases, the pitch of the sound will rise up the musical scale. Getting higher and higher. As the speed of rotation goes yet even further, all notes of the musical scale will be produced sequentially until the piercing sound of the top ceases and silence follows.

As the top spins for a longer period of time the heat will come into play. The color of the top will begin to change to a dullish red color. Spin the top even faster and the red will melt into an orange. Followed by yellow. Then, green, blue, indigo and finally violet. Continuous this further and the violet will fade away as the top emits colors that are unperceptive to the human eye. If this exercises is taken to its full potential the molecular make up of the object will begin to disintegrate. Eventually the physical form will disappear and return to the ALL.

This illustration ties together the intimate connection between all of these perceptions and vibration.

Resonate Into Flow

The spinning top experiment shows you that there is a connection between vibration on every plane of existence. The difference between planes of existence like physical matter, mental/emotional energy, and even spirit is one of vibration. The spiritual and physical worlds are opposite poles of the same spectrum.

The Hermetists took this one step further to find that the difference between thoughts and emotions is one of vibration as well. This allowed them to carry out Mental Transmutation to change their mental and emotional states by changing their vibration. Easier said than done, right?

There’s a reason why certain music feels good. There is a reason why you enjoy some people and detest others. There is a reason why organic food energizes you and junk food paralyzes you. Surround yourself with the right frequency of vibration you can raise your own.

The tree stands tall in it’s own resonance. While the leaf vibrates to the frequency of every gust.

Try This: Breath is a vibration tool. It’s one of the fastest ways to change your frequency. Deep inhales. Followed by slow deliberate exhales to completion. Push all of the air out and pause before restarting. Try it right now. Go through 3-5 breath cycles and notice the shift.

Polarity: Everything Is Dual

The clearest example I’ve seen of this is shown with concepts of hot/cold, hard/soft or light/dark. They are at the core the same exact thing existing at different places on a spectrum. Look at a thermometer and try to identify the place where cold ends and hot begins. There isn’t one. They are but varying degrees of the same thing.

This is true for your thoughts and emotions...

Love and hate are extremes poles of the same spectrum. In between each of them is a multitude of degrees. These degrees can be measured in frequency of vibrations.

Move Between The Poles

Find the two poles of any desired quality you wish to have and then you will know how to move towards it. I find it helpful to have your own personal definition for each pole.

For example, if you desire to be someone of integrity you first have to be clear on what that looks like. And, at the same time, what does it look like to be someone without integrity? Answer these questions to give you the ability to generate a scale between the poles.

When you apply this principle with the other six you will see that you have the ability within yourself to polarize states in another. If you’re a parent you’ve experienced this. You wake up in a poor mood and then soon enough the kids are exhibiting that same mood. Traveling with family and want to have an amazing experience? Use your will and desire to raise yourself to the highest pole. Your family comes along for the ride. Your energy becomes contagious.

When you’re the leaf, you absorb the energy of everyone around you. When you’re a tree, you set the frequency for all the leaves to follow.

Rhythm: The Pendulum Swings

One day you’re unstoppable. Work is flowing smoothly. You and your partner are in sync. Your mind is calm. The next day feels the total opposite. Can’t focus. Short tempered with your kids. Your to-do list never seems to end.

You assume that something went wrong and search for the answer. But, no answer is found. Because, nothing is wrong. You’re just caught up in the pendulum of life.

Everything is in motion and exists between two poles. There is a consistent flow in and out between the poles. Think of it like the breath of the universe. Everything inhales and exhales. Everything expand and contracts. As soon as the peak of expansion is reached, contraction begins.

This is the cycle of nature — birth, growth, death and rebirth. The sun will rise and set again. The tides come and go. Your moods, your production, your relationships all swing. This pendulum swing creates the highs and lows of your life experience.

The problem isn’t that the pendulum swings. The problem is how you’re meeting that swing. The majority fight the pendulum instead of learning it’s rhythm.

Rise Above

You cannot stop the pendulum swing. But, you can learn to rise above it.

By using the principles of Mentalism, Correspondence, Polarity and Vibration you can rise above the swing. By rising to the higher planes of existence you alleviate the effects of the pendulum swing on the lower planes. You rise above the tides of emotion that consume the majority. You become the observer to the sea of thoughts rather than a shipwrecked sailor being sloshed about by them.

Whether you swing with it or watch it from above is the difference between being the leaf or the tree.

Cause and Effect: Nothing Escapes This Law

There is a problem in your life right now that you have not been able to solve. You have tried. You have thrown every effort at it. Yet, still it returns.

You are attempting to treat a symptom. Instead of curing the cause.

Most people operate like this their entire lives. The relationship that keeps repeating the same ending. The employee that keeps causing a stir. The money that keeps slipping through the same crack. The health issue that flares up the same time every year. They assume these are separate problems. They are not. They are effects. And effects, by law, have causes.

The idea of chance or luck is an illusion. A label for experiences where the cause cannot be found. It doesn’t mean that there is no cause. There always is. There is a relationship between everything that has come before and follows.

The trap that most get caught in

When you dig for the cause, you will encounter a story. That story is the perceived reality through the lens of your unconscious baggage. It’s not the truth. It’s the narrative you built to explain why the pattern exists. “This always happens to me.” “I’m just not that kind of person.” “It’s the economy. It’s the industry. It’s my luck.” These are all stories. They feel like truth because you have been telling them for so long the grooves are worn deep.

Truth is reality beneath the story.

Most people stay stuck because they stop at the story. They dig until they find a narrative that feels familiar and they decide that’s the cause. It’s not. It’s another symptom. The cause is the belief that generated the story. The belief is the imprint running the program beneath your awareness.

Fixing the symptom will only generate different symptoms. Fix the story and you’ll get a new, more sophisticated story. The only way to create true change is to make it at the source.

Try This:

Pick one problem in your life right now. One pattern you cannot seem to break. Then, start digging by asking questions…

Start here: What is the problem? Name it specifically. Not “my business is struggling.” Name the moment. The client who left. The deal that fell through. Be precise.

Now ask: What role do I have in creating it? What action preceded that effect? What did I do, or not do, that set it in motion?

Now ask: What emotion drove my actions? Get clear. Was it Fear? Resentment? The need to prove something?

Now ask: What thought created that emotion? What did I tell myself right before the feeling arrived?

Finally ask: What belief sits beneath that thought? What do I believe about myself, about money, about relationships, about what I deserve, that keeps generating thoughts like that?

Keep asking why until you hit something you do not want to admit. That is the edge of the story. Push past it. Identifying the cause is rarely comfortable. That’s how you know you have found it.

When you change the cause, the effects rearrange themselves automatically.

Gender: The Creative Principle

This principle goes far beyond biology. It’s about the two forces required for anything to come into existence. Anywhere there is creation there must also be gender. The masculine impulse initiates. The feminine field receives, nurtures, and brings that impulse to life. This is true in nature, in art, in business, and inside your own mind.

A Valuable Lesson From The Cuckoo Bird

The Cuckoo bird is a fascinating creature.

When it comes time to lay their eggs, the Cuckoo bird will trick other birds into raising their young. They wait for the right opportunity to sneak in and lay their egg in the nest of the other bird. The parent bird where they place their egg will raise it as if it’s one of their own. The egg will hatch and the baby bird will take the resources it needs.

Imagine that the nest of the bird is the unconscious mind and the cuckoo egg is the will of the conscious mind. These are feminine and masculine principles of mind. The unconscious mind is the feminine womb that the conscious will can impregnate with it’s seed of idea. Your conscious will is the cuckoo bird. Your unconscious mind is the nest. The thoughts you deliberately place there — the “eggs” — will be nurtured, developed, and brought to life by the unconscious, whether you’re paying attention or not.

The Hard Pill To Swallow

You are not the only cuckoo bird with access to your nest.

Every notification. Every headline. Every person who dumps their stress on you. Every algorithm designed to hold your attention. They are all laying eggs in your unconscious mind. And your unconscious does not discriminate. It nurtures whatever egg is laid. It brings to life whatever seed it receives.

Most people walk around with a mind full of thoughts that were never theirs to begin with. The fear came from the news. The insecurity came from the judgment of family. The desire came from the advertisement. They think these are their own thoughts. But, they are not. They are incubating someone else’s eggs.

When you understand this principle, you stop passively accepting whatever thoughts drift in. You start guarding the nest. You become deliberate about what you impress upon the unconscious.

The question is: what are you planting?

The Master Key To Changing Your Life

The seven principles point to the same truth: Mind is cause.

Your business is not separate from your mind. Your marriage is not separate from your mind. Your body is not separate from your mind. Every effect ripples from a cause, and the cause is always mental first. This is the Triad of You in motion: Mind creates thought. Body expresses thought. Soul connects thought to something larger than itself.

When a flower doesn’t bloom, you don’t change the flower. You change the soil it lives in. Your mind is the soil. These principles are the nutrients.

Most will spend their lives trying to change the flower. They’ll fix every symptom. Forever finding more. They adjust the behavior. They white-knuckle the grind up their own mountain. But, they never touch the soil. After all that effort, the flower wilts again anyway.

You now have the map they don’t.

Take one principle. Start with Mentalism since it’s the foundation. For one week, every time you catch yourself reacting to something, a notification, a comment, a setback, a fear, ask yourself: Why does this bother me so much? What thought created this feeling? What belief sits beneath that thought? Why do I believe that?

Keep asking until you hit something you didn’t want to admit was there. That’s the edge of the story. Push past it and find the cause. Then, and only then can the work to change it begin.

The leaf knows nothing and therefore can do nothing. The leaf reacts because it has no choice. You are not the leaf. You’re not even the tree. You are the seed that grows the tree. The same Mind that created the world you experience is the Mind you are thinking with right now. Same in kind. Only varying in degree.

Stop being the leaf.

YOU are the Master Key.

Talk soon

Ryan

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Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

Most people don’t know how to grieve.

They think grief is something you get through. An obstacle between you and your goals. A disruption to your productivity. Something to bury, suppress, and outrun.

I know because I was one of them.

From 2019 to 2023, I buried everything. The miscarriages. The cancer diagnoses. The destroyed home. The mental health crisis. I treated emotions like obstacles on the road to my future. I packed them down, layer by layer, and built a rigid armor over the top.

Then my Uncle Bill died. And I realized I had a choice: repeat the pattern, or finally learn how to stand in the eye of the storm.

When I set out to write these letters there was a promise that I made to myself — to write what’s real. The whole analogy of the lighthouse is to light the flame within and shine that light for others on their own path. That light never stops shining. Even in the darkest of storms it shines on.

Right now, I’m in the eye of the storm.

If you’ve ever buried your pain instead of processing it, I’m writing this for you.

The Storm Always Comes

“Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity. It is the price you pay for love.” — David Kessler

“I have terrible news” is never a good start to a conversation.

Those were the first words my dad said to me when I called him after numerous texts of “Are you up? Call me ASAP” early Sunday morning.

“Uncle Bill was tragically killed in a car accident” were the words that came next.

After that, I went blank. Numb. Emotionless. Wordless.

All I could mutter was “Wow. Alright” or something to that effect. The rest of the day I felt nothing. The shock was too much. I couldn’t process the news. Almost like it didn’t register as part of reality. To be honest, it still seems that way four days later. There’s an unwillingness of my mind to allow it to be real.

Of course, I don’t want it to be.

I feel like every other weekend from the age of six to fifteen I spent with my Uncle Bill. In reality, it probably wasn’t exactly that much. But it was a lot. On Friday, he’d come pick me up or I’d go see him coach. Afterward, he would take my cousin and me to rent a movie and grab a pizza. We’d spend the night watching

movies, eating pizza, and doing whatever three boys do. I believe I was 10 or 11 the first time I watched The Man Show and learned about the juggies. Haha.

This one’s for you, Uncle. Ziggy zagga ziggy zagga oi oi oi!

On Saturday morning we’d get up and my uncle would cook eggs and french toast in “Obie’s kitchen.” He’d even pretend to take orders over the phone. After we ate we would head out for the Syracuse football game. While I didn’t realize it at the time, I was fortunate enough to experience many of the prized moments of the Donovan McNabb era at Syracuse University.

All of my adventures were with my Uncle Bill.

From Yankee Stadium to Phillies games and even whitewater rafting in the Colorado mountains. He took me and my cousin everywhere and we always had a blast. He cured me of my motion sickness. Apparently all you need is to drive in an Isuzu Amigo SUV with the top down and Jimmy Buffett playing. He took me for my first stroll down Shakedown Street at fifteen. Took me to my first Phish concert. And taught me the magic of live music through his off-market recordings of the Grateful Dead and Dave Matthews. He was always coaching too. Whether it be from the stands of the SU game or sitting on the beach in Florida as he put me through agility drills.

God, I’m going to miss him.

He brought so much needed fun into my life.

The Old Way…Bury It

“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words.” — Alfred Adler

In the past, I would have plowed through an event like this. I would have labeled it in my mind as an obstacle in my way on the road to my goals and future. Then, I would bury the potential emotional eruption as far down as it would go. Once it was safely out of view, I would trudge on with a newly formed rigid layer of armor.

That’s exactly what I did from 2019 to 2023.

Stack & bury…. That’s what I call the pattern now, looking back. One event on top of another, each one adding weight to the foundation I refused to look at:

2019 — We got married.
2020–2021 — We battled the government to keep the business alive.
2021 — Our home was destroyed from a frozen pipe and we were displaced all year.
2021 — Family cancer diagnosis.
2021 — First miscarriage.
2022 — Second miscarriage.
2022 — Family liver cirrhosis diagnosis.
2023 — Moved to Florida part-time.
2023 — Found out we’re pregnant for a third time.
2023 — Mental health crisis and breakthrough.

After four years of burying the pain, sadness, anger, grief, and every other emotion that came up in that time, my mind finally had enough. I was forced to face it all at once. For the next eighteen months I did nothing but write and process the events that occurred and the emotions I had been locking away for decades.

I spent every day either writing, crying, or staring out a window blankly.

That was the first time I learned the lesson. The second time — this time — I’m not waiting eighteen months to start.

The Body Remembers What the Mind Buries

“How can I begin to speak of the things I feel? The body speaks for me.” — Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

By the end of the day Sunday, my mind was filling with positive memories of me and my Uncle. I felt so much gratitude for the experiences I got to have with him. This culminated in a feeling of deep sadness knowing that my kids won’t get to experience those kinds of memories of him. I still hadn’t emoted anything yet, though.

So I wrote to myself to navigate what’s going on inside:

My uncle Bill passed away unexpectedly yesterday. He was my godfather and played a huge role in my life. I would say that 80% of the fun family times I remember as a kid involved my uncle Bill. He was your stereotypical “funckle.”

Fuck, man, this sucks.

I haven’t been able to feel much around the situation. I’m blocked off. I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe because there is an overwhelming amount of emotion and variety of emotion associated with it. The sadness of not seeing him again. I feel sadness for the fact that Julian and Luca won’t get to know Bunka Bill. The guilt of our disconnection over the years. The unanswered questions. It is a lot to process. I desire to process it. I desire to feel it. I desire for it to pass through me.

That last line is the key. Three words. I desire. Not “I should.” Not “I need to.” I desire. There’s a difference between forcing yourself to grieve and allowing yourself to want it. One is mechanical. The other is permission.

On Monday, the first wave hit. I was driving home from the gym and a Dave Matthews song came on. My uncle was the one who introduced me to DMB. Which subsequently became the number one musical source for a group of middle-class white kids in Upstate New York. SPAC was the summertime Christmas for my group of friends.

This is the power of music and why I talk about it as a subconscious trigger. It will activate the memories in your mind and the deep emotions attached to them. I’ve been leaning into this going through the grieving process. In the past, I wouldn’t listen to or watch anything that reminded me of something sad. After my brother’s best friend took his own life in junior high, I wouldn’t listen to his favorite song for like fifteen years. Every time it came on the radio I’d shut it off. Music was my uncle’s life, so leaning into it has not only allowed me to process things more. It’s allowed me to honor him.

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What I’m Doing Differently

This is how I’m approaching this differently and what I’m experiencing….

Mentally

The biggest thing I’m doing differently is allowing myself to have the time I need to process. I’m not forcing myself into work that’s not absolutely necessary. I’m not forcing the workshop I wanted to run. I’m not forcing the big letter I’m writing on the seven ancient principles that will change your life. I’m taking more time to rest and sit with my thoughts.

I’m releasing all judgment and criticism towards myself for “not doing enough.”

Physically

I’m listening to what my body is telling me.

My hands have been cold and clammy. At night, I’ve been overheating and sweating. I’m holding more water than normal.

My stomach has been in knots all week long and I’ve been starving. These are all signals to let me know what I need in the moment.

Food is a way of providing yourself comfort. So again, I’m allowing myself some grace here. Giving myself comfort without slipping into the place of sedation or eating your emotions away. Sometimes that line isn’t so easy to see.

To keep my body from tightening up, I’m stretching every day and focusing on what I feel I need at the gym. I’m also allowing my body to release what’s needed when there is an emotional release. This has been effective at keeping the stomach knots at bay. If your stomach is in knots, it means there is a potential to untie them. Knowing the right fascial lines to stretch and activate allows me to do this.

The big one here has been rest. Specifically, allowing my nervous system to rest.

Spiritually

On the spiritual and energetic side of things, I’m leaning into that inner voice.

When the song comes on that reminds me of my Uncle and that voice tells me to listen, I listen. I’m also providing it an outlet through writing. This has been my spark for expression. Writing from that voice allows the true feelings to bubble up and express.

I’m sure you can feel them in these words.

I’m also taking the time to listen for him. I wrote about the experience of my grandfather’s passing and how I was able to go within and hear his voice, witness his spirit. I’ve found that distance is not an obstacle for these types of experiences. Even a thousand miles away, when I go within and get to that place of stillness and silence, I can still hear his voice and see his infectious smile.

The Eye of The Storm

“Be still. Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity.” — Lao Tzu

That’s the interesting thing about the storm. It’s only in the eye of the storm that stillness can be found.

Here’s what I’ve discovered in this process of grief: the storm is not the enemy. The storm is the grief itself. The chaos of emotion. The waves of sadness and anger and guilt. It’s terrifying. It’s disorienting. Your instinct is to run from it, to outpace it, to bury it under work and productivity and forward momentum.

But the storm doesn’t stop. It just waits.

If you run from the storm, you stay in its path. The wind keeps hitting you from every direction. The debris keeps flying. You never get clear. You just keep moving and keep getting hit.

The only way out is in.

The eye of the storm is not a place of escape. It’s a place of surrender. You stop running. You stop fighting. You let the storm of emotion pass through you instead of into you. And in that stillness, you find something the storm can’t touch.

You find the calm.

You find the voice.

You find the person you were before you started burying everything.

If you’re not willing to step into the eye of the storm, you’ll always be in its path of destruction. But if you can find the courage to stand still while the world spins around you, something shifts. The grief doesn’t disappear. But it stops being something that happens to you and becomes something that moves through you.

That’s the difference between being destroyed by the storm and being transformed by it.

Or, at least that’s what I’m discovering through this grieving process…

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
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Books: ​Finding ME
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References:

Alex Jinich-Diamant, Sierra Simpson, Juan P. Zuniga-Hertz, Ramamurthy Chitteti, Jan M. Schilling, Jacqueline A. Bonds, Laura Case, Andrei V. Chernov, Joe Dispenza, Jacqueline Maree, Natalia Esther Amkie Stahl, Michael Licamele, Narin Fazlalipour, Swetha Devulapalli, Leonardo Christov-Moore, Nicco Reggente, Michelle A. Poirier, Tobias Moeller-Bertram, Hemal H. Patel. Neural and molecular changes during a mind-body reconceptualization, meditation, and open label placebo healing intervention. Communications Biology, 2025; 8 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s42003-025-09088-3

Dispenza, J. (2017). Becoming supernatural: How common people are doing the uncommon. Hay House

Three Initiates. (1908). The Kybalion: A study of the Hermetic philosophy of ancient Egypt and Greece. Yogi Publication Society.

Wolf, R. (Director). (2019). The mindfulness movement [Film]. Wisdom Films.

I like to simplify mental patterns down into a series of decisions.

Ultimately, the life experience you and I are having right now is a result of the decisions we’ve made. You just might not remember or sometimes even know that you made those decisions. Often times, the effect is delayed.

Which makes it hard to pinpoint the exact cause…

That is why I love to write them down when they happen.

This week’s message comes from a big decision I made in 2022.

This Week’s Meditation Message

I decided to sell my gym on February 16th, 2022.

I know because I wrote it down on that day…

At the end of 2021, my wife had the idea that we should write notes daily and save them in a jar to read in the future.

The notes had to either be something powerful that happened that day or something you were grateful for.

Off and on for a little over a year we would drop notes into the jar. Waiting for the day that we would open them to read.

It was on date that I wrote this…

The message to contemplate on this topic is...

Decisions determine direction.

Now, let’s unpack what this really means and how you can apply it to the Triad of You...

Mind - The Psychological

I decided to sell my business 916 days before I actually sold it. I had thought about it for a very long time. Almost 3 years…I didn’t mentally decide to go forward with it until I wrote that note.

Then, it took me about two dozen more mental decisions and another 900 days before it actually happened. Each one carrying its own weight of action.

These same mental decisions are the way in which our realities are built. A series of mental decisions that provides us with a perspective of the world. Like it or not we all decided how to view the world we experience today.

At some point, you decided what success was. And…you decided what it meant to not be successful. You decided what a good leader was. A good husband, brother, friend etc.

In fact, you decided to have the current problem you’re facing too.

Even when you feel sadness or grief in the moment, you decided to feel that way. It may have been unconscious. But, a decision has still been made. Always.

The decision is like the vehicle that carries Will and Desire of Mind into Creation.

Life is nothing more than you making a series of decisions with the best intention based on the knowledge you have in that moment. We all do the best we can with the Knowledge we have. The more knowledge that you gain the better the decisions become.

The difficulty is that many of the important decisions we make daily aren’t consciously made.

These are the decisions surrounding questions like, Who am I? What do I believe? What do I value? What is True or False? It’s these decisions that are often made at a young age and stored deep below the surface of the Conscious Mind — in the Unconscious Mind.

These decisions create patterns of behavior that run beneath the surface. Like the rudders on a ship. It’s these that guide your life forward. As the captain of your own ship, you can call out directions to the crew but if you don’t know how to turn the rudders your direction will never change.

Which is why many behavioral change or talk methods don’t fully work…they only work with what’s on the surface. The conscious decisions. You can change those until you’re blue in the face. But…when that unconscious pattern gets triggered - you’re going slip right into it without thinking about it.

A new model for decision making needs to be programmed into the Unconscious Mind to make lasting changes. It’s the only way.

My hope is that through these letters you will gain more knowledge and make better mental decisions naturally. I guess you could say it’s been my own little experiment.

The decisions I secretly hope to help you change are the unconscious ones.

What’s a decision you made that would be helpful to change?

Body - The Physiological

Your body is a representation of the millions of mental decisions that have been made throughout your lifetime. Every decision you make manifests itself in the body. Taking a deeper look at yourself a give you direction towards the decisions you’ve been making that need changing.

Tomorrow morning after you shower try this…

Take a moment and stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself.

What do you see?

You can check out more details on how the patterns represent in these issues of the letter here and here.

Once you’ve given yourself an honest review. I say review and assessment because this is an objective exercise. We want the facts.

You may say “I see my shoulders rounding” or “I see stress in my face from my teeth clenching”.

Now…

What do you feel?

You may say “I feel tightness in my back” or “I feel bloated in my abdomen”. Possibly, “I feel light and energetic”. Who knows? Just tap into what you’re feeling in your body.

Finally, ask…

Where is this coming from?

The goal is to identify the habit, behavior and ultimately the decision you made that led you to this current moment. Each time that you do this you will increase your awareness of your body’s health and how it fluctuates based on experience and the decisions you make.

Eventually, you will begin to experience clarity. This can take weeks, years or happens in an instance. Once you’ve been able to trace the chain of events (decisions) that led you to this point you can begin to install new and different links (decisions) in the change.

While this is a method of conscious behavioral change I’ve found that with enough practice you can identify some of the unconscious roots. For me this happened through the stream of conscious journaling process I talk about in Finding ME. Using the conversation in my Mind I was able to continue asking questions and digging deeper to expose the roots.

Through this method you can take the level of understanding from “My shoulders hurt from the way I sit at my desk” to “I’ve been in survival mode ever since [insert catastrophic life/business fallout] and been carrying the weight of that for 5 years.” The more knowledge that you have the more understanding will follow. After that — come better decisions.

I once had a business owner tell me that they didn’t have any work to do mentally and emotionally because they had developed a ‘pocket’ to store all that stuff. I feel like this is a common habit in entrepreneurs. To push the ‘bad stuff’ down and bury it. I mean there’s no time to deal with it when you’re grinding and climbing. Well…

That little pocket where you store all that emotional stuff quickly turns into the next kidney stone, gout flare up or IBS symptom when you have more awareness. You begin to recognize the connection between negative thoughts and habitual pains. You start to see how blocking emotional experiences is blocking you physically.

The great part about this new perspective is it gives you back the power to do something about it. The difficulty is that it requires a new level of self-responsibility. It all starts with making a decision and in my experience that is one of the first to make. Once you do you will quickly find the next one to make. By carrying out the process the program is eventually re-written.

As an example:

Imagine a leader who gets knots in their stomach every single time they have to run a large team meeting. As they trace back their decisions they identify that on meeting days they don’t follow their normal morning routine. They don’t eat because their stomach is off. Then they follow it further by asking ‘Why’. In that search, they discover that the night before they had one too many drinks after dinner. Makes sense as to why they don’t feel good the next morning. Right? But, that’s not the root. Still a symptom.

So, they continue to question their decisions to locate the underlying cause. They identify that the day before their meetings, when they review the agenda, they spend most of their time predicting potential problems and solutions for the meeting. They now have the awareness that they’re creating the internal conflict before anything happens. Digging even deeper they identify that this stems from their first big meeting in this leadership position when a veteran team member vocalized problems they were having with the new leadership and it escalated into an argument. This created the belief for them that team meetings are about defending his decisions. Even though this type of scenario only happened once each time they had a meeting they were preparing themselves a defensive strategy. This created a state of stress and overwhelm which the drinking sedated and eventually led to stomach pains.

With this understanding they were able to reframe their view of the team meetings. They could now see how that one instance created a defensive approach to every meeting. How illogical it was. And…What they could do differently going forward. This allowed them the opportunity make the decision to change. Once their belief around meetings changed they started preparing differently. They dropped the defensive position and with that came alleviation of their stomach pains.

They didn’t need to go to a doctor, take medication or anything like that. They needed to make new decisions. By tracing the links of the chain they were able to find the root.

Decisions are the vehicle. They start in the Mind and get carried out through the body. The ‘symptoms’ we often experience are merely the effect of a decision made at some point.

You can control the cause but nature controls the effect. And...the effect is always delivered.

…even the unconscious decision you’re making now to investigate these things more sets in motion a change of events.

Can you identify a decision that’s connected to a symptom?

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

Last night, I was playing legos with my son after dinner and the thought came to me “We should call Grandma to see what she’s doing”. I asked my son if he wanted to call her and he said “Yes”. So, went to the kitchen to grab my phone and lone behold there was a missed FaceTime call from Grandma. I’m sure you’ve experienced something like this before….

A moment where you thought of someone randomly and then suddenly bumped into them in public. Or maybe you followed an intuitive sense without knowing exactly why. Then, found yourself in the perfect opportunity you had been searching for.

In the 1920’s, Carl Jung popularized the term to describe this phenomena that’s turned into a type of buzzword today — Synchronicity. Defined today as the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but lack any discernible causal connection.

He believed and modern science has proven today that human consciousness does influence the physical world. The thoughts you have impact the world around you. Which means the decisions you make also influence it.

This most often happens without our own realization of it occurring. Especially, because it’s more than likely chalked up to luck or random chance when these things occur. However, if you can lean into it you can use it to your advantage.

The decision is to follow it. Follow the synchronicity.

Nikolas Tesla had a theory around Right and Wrong thoughts / choices. He proposed that there were Right thoughts and choices for YOU. By identifying and selecting the RIGHT choices you would move closer to the goals / purpose of your life. Choosing the wrong options would lead you off path and you would have to course correct. In a way it’s like time travel….

This Youtube video breaks it down further:

In the last year, I’ve put his theory to the test and the results have been shocking. Here’s a few examples of how this has played out.

Speaking at a stranger’s event on 7 days notice...

I saw someone’s video on Facebook promoting a mastermind event they were hosting in Florida. I had this feeling that I should message them even though I had never met or spoke to this person before. I decided to send them a video and offer to come speak and share what I’ve experienced and learned about the Mind for their group.

A week later I was speaking at their event.

Selling a home over asking with one offer...

I decided to sell one of my homes in NY last year and I had a very specific dollar amount and way I wanted to sell it. Basically, above market value and with zero contingencies. I had this feeling or knowing to select a different realtor than I normally use. I explained exactly what I wanted and even though they hadn’t sold a house in that area for the price I want they agreed with the plan. The very first person to see the house made a cash offer that was $34,000 over the asking price and waived the inspection. Even the realtor was shocked.

These are just a few of the examples of how deciding to follow the synchronicity has played out for me. If you read Finding ME you will find that the majority of great things in my life came about by following the synchronicity. Even when they didn’t make ‘logical’ sense. I think that is the hardest part about following them. They often seem illogical or unreasonable from the outside.

Which is why you have to become connected to the YOU inside.

What’s the synchronicity that you need to follow?

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The Integration

I hope that you can see the power of the decisions that you make. They determine the direction of your life’s movement. If you don’t like where you are or where things are going then it’s time to audit the decisions you’ve made to get here.

When you’re in a leadership position the decisions that you make extend far beyond yourself. Each of the internal decisions that you make around “What a leader must do” or “how a leader shows up” and “how a team operates” creates a specific environment in the business.

Often times the negative symptoms that you’re experiencing can be traced back to a decision you’ve made. Sometimes even the smallest decisions result in waves of change. If you’re not finding the connection in business, take a look at home. This plays out very clearly here as well.

As you sit with these words this weekend I’d be curious to hear if there’s any insights that come up?

Write me back and let me know

Talk soon

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
​
​Paid​

Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Dispenza, J. (2017). Becoming supernatural: How common people are doing the uncommon. Hay House.

Lipton, B. H. (2005). The biology of belief: Unleashing the power of consciousness, matter, and miracles. Elite Books.

Russell, W. (1926). The universal one. The University of Science and Philosophy.

A few weeks ago, my grandfather passed away after a decade long battle with Alzheimer’s. By following the principles I’ve been writing about I was able to be by his side for his last breath. What transpired would have been ‘unbelievable’ to me, if it didn’t happen to me. So, I understand any disbelief you may have reading what follows…

My grandfather had been in a Hospice setting for the last couple of weeks. A few days before he passed, I got this feeling that “I need to go be with him”. Specifically, that I needed to go see him and be present for his final moments. Although, I didn’t know exactly when that would be.

I’ve learned over the last few years that it’s these ‘feelings’ or ‘knowing’s’ that are most important to listen to. So, that Saturday I took an early AM flight back to NY. This is what transpired...

I arrived at the hospice facility around 12pm. When I walked into the room he was laying in the bed frozen in an extended state. His head was tilted back, mouth agape and his breathing was grumbling with effort. His skin color was fading. My initial thought was that his energy was dropping and he was trying to exit through his crown. But, couldn’t.

There were a handful of people in the room so having alone time with him wasn’t an option. After walking the room and feeling into the situation I sat on the couch next to his bed. I closed my eyes and began to meditate. Once again, lifting my energy up inside of me and going into ‘my room’. I was in this place of stillness and quiet listening for him. This was roughly 15-20 minutes after I arrived.

As I sat in my meditation I could feel that some of the people in the room were looking at me confused. My consciousness continued to raise within me and I could feel the vibration increase. My eyes began to flutter and the light began to illuminate within. It’s this transition where it goes from being pitch black with eyes closed to as if someone turned on a night light.

It was at this point that I tried to connect into the rhythm of his breath. I don’t know if I did connect but based on what occurred next I believe I must have. I began a very light hum and I could hear his breathing smooth out and grumbling ceased.

His brother was leaning over him telling him that it’s ok to let go and move on to the next phase. To leave this world. It was in that moment that I felt the urge to say “He’s not here right now”. Overall in this experience his presence felt very weak. Then, it was after that thought occurred that I no longer felt his presence. He was gone. About one minute after I had that thought his breathing stopped and my grandfather’s brother said I think it’s time to call the nurse. She came right in and confirmed that he had passed.

I heard my father’s voice aggressively say “Ryan! Was that you?”

I opened my eyes and looked at him to say “I wasn’t sure but I felt him go”.

Then, I sat in that space of stillness, calm and peace for another 10-15 minutes. The whole time I could see a movie in my mind of all the fun times I had with him. I thanked him for the 38 years of friendship we’ve had. I could hear his voice so clearly say “Martin” and “Ok, Albert” (mine and my brothers middle names). It was in his tone pre-alzheimers. Any image I saw of him he was young and spry. Active, joyful and laughing. He was free.

The level of calm I felt was surreal. So peaceful and filled with love. I felt as if I had a permanent grin upon my face. I guess more of a soft smile. Just this deep knowing that everything is ok. He is ok. It was time to allow the nurse to clean him up so we left for a bit.

We came back in the room and I moved and sat in the chair next to him continuing in this state. Just a calm silence. Of course, everyone else in the room began calling people, arguing over the next steps and moving past the moment. I just sat in it. I could still feel his presence in the room and connection for a period of time.

A very profound experience.

This Week’s Meditation Message

The week prior to the experience I wrote about above I was in meditation when the following message came to me.

Slow down…If you’re going too fast you will miss the turns.

So often we are forced forward in our fast-paced, productivity focused world that we miss out on experiencing life. We’re so quick to get to the next ‘thing’ that we miss the moment in front of us.

This was something I saw first hand sitting by my grandfather’s side for his passing. Within a minute of his passing, everyone in the room was on their phones. Calls to every friend/relative to share the news were made and planning the funeral arrangements is what ensued.

Even in the delicate moments of death our world has us programmed to go on to the ‘next thing’.

Let’s unpack what this means and how you can apply it to the Triad of You...

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Mind - The Psychological

Mind is cause.

Your mind sends and receives its signal through the brain. While our science teaches us that the brain is the originator, it’s more like a receiver. In the same way that a radio is tuned to different frequencies, your brain and body are tuned as well. By changing the frequency of the signal you can change the outcome.

When the frequencies between Mind, Brain and Body are in alignment there is what is called coherence. When they’re out of alignment there is incoherence. Think homeostasis or balance vs. un-balance.

For example, you can be at a day spa receiving a relaxing massage with the sounds of nature all around you creating a seemingly relaxing state for the body. While at the same time you’re running fearful emotions and negative thoughts through your brain thinking about the fire/obstacle/challenge you have to overcome in business. This creates two opposing signals and two very different, incoherent frequencies.

It’s a very simplified example but the main point is this — your mind can create the internal experience of unsafe even when you’re in a safe environment.

The incoherent frequencies cause the brain to fire/activate neurons in a less than optimal way. Which in turn creates a cascade of consequences down the line throughout the body. The chemicals that are supposed to be released in a certain quantity are off. The hormone secretions that normally occur are disrupted. Essentially, it makes it impossible for the brain and body to function optimally. Carry this out long enough and you end up with disease (more on that below).

The Science Behind Coherence

Modern science has been able to measure the frequencies of brain activity and identify what we call brain waves. These waves correlate to different states of consciousness and are connected to physiological states as well. Here’s a quick rundown of them...

Beta

This wave represents our conscious waking state or the analytical mind. There are variations in the frequency that range from low to high. The closer you move the higher frequencies the more focused and vigilant you are on evading or defending an outside threat. It’s the stressed out state of Mind. The survival emotions of anger, frustration, grief, anxiety and even depression elicit these high range waves.

When you’ve got the gas pedal pinned to the floor and grinding everyday to muscle yourself to the next goal you’re most likely in a high range of Beta.

Alpha

This wave is one where your focus has begun to turn inward. You’re no longer focused on the potential threats of the outside world. You’re in a calmer state and can go within. These are the moments when you’re relaxed, creative and often intuitive.

Theta

This brain frequency is connected to the state of mind awake, body asleep. If you’ve practiced deep meditation this may be familiar to you. Otherwise, you can think of this as the state that you enter right before you drift off into deeper sleep. You’re not sleeping, but you’re not quite awake either.

Delta

This is the slowest frequency and is connected with deep and restorative sleep. During REM sleep it’s these brain waves that are responsible for vivid imagery in dreams, nervous system reset and emotional processing. For people who never reach deeper sleep they miss out on the restorative nature of these states. Hence, the constant exhaustion the feel each day. People who are masters of their Mind can enter these states during meditation.

Gamma

This frequency is the state of superconsciousness. The frequency is much higher than the others but unlike the beta state where your focus is external, this focus is internal. Gamma states are experienced in flow state or in deep meditation when raising your energy from within.

If you’re always trying to conquer the world ‘out there’ you lose sight and access to the world ‘in here’. It’s in the Alpha, Theta and Gamma wave states that we’re able to connect into the subconscious Mind — where the limiting beliefs, repressed emotions and misaligned values reside. Which is why you can’t consciously release them…

The Fallacy…

A clear pattern that I identified in my own life and I think many entrepreneurs experience is the incessant desire to get to the next step. We’re always pressing down the gas to move forward towards a goal. This constant pressure of the ‘grind’ or ‘climb’ keeps us in a Beta state. A state of stress. Often, without any relief or relaxation. Even during sleep the mind is working, analyzing, and maintaining its vigilance. I think of something I often told my wife years ago — “I don’t sleep, I wait.”

The extreme focus on production and moving forward to the next step causes you to miss out on what’s in front of you. When you’re tapping into emotions from the past or the future you literally become disconnected from the present. For me, I used to zoom through experiences to get to the next step. It was this constant effort to arrive at the next destination.

The belief that gets constructed is often that the destination is the answer.

When in fact, it’s the journey there that is the answer/solution. That is where the value is found. The lessons, the insights, the feedback. It’s all discovered in the process. Those are the ‘turns’ that guide you. And…

If you’re attempting to go too fast through the process, you will miss them.

Final Note

I believe that underlying the extreme complexity of our world there exists extreme simplicity. Underlying this whole concept of frequencies, brain waves and how they effect you I found this…

Speed = Constriction.

Constriction limits expansion.

Light = Knowledge.

In order to open more knowledge you must expand yourself to take in more light.

When you’re experiencing coherence, balance, homeostasis you’re opening yourself to receive the most knowledge in any situation. Any level of incoherence dampens the level of knowledge that is received. Which is why going ‘too fast’ to ‘get past’ an experience causes you to miss the turns, miss the moment and miss the potential Knowledge to be gained.

Think of it like driving fast in a car on the highway. When you look out the window, everything is seemingly a blur. Slow yourself down and all of the sudden you can see the vivid detail that exists beyond the blur.

When you slow down your mind to be present in the moment, you will find the vivid detail that lies underneath.

It’s in that moment that you will find Silence and Stillness (where true power is found).

Body - The Physiological

In 2004, Dr. Bruce Lipton published a groundbreaking book called The Biology of Belief. His work showed how our genes respond to and adapt from environmental stimulus. This was from his original work demonstrating that stem-cells would grow into a type of tissue based on the environment it was in. A groundbreaking discovery for epigenetics.

He also showed that the brain center of the cell was not in fact the nucleus, as mainstream science would claim. It was the cell membrane that was responding to electrical and energetic stimulus received from the environment. Thus breaking the commonly held theory that chemicals are what control the cellular channels and exchange processes.

Underlying every mechanical, chemical and hormonal process is an energetic foundation. Aka: Electricity is the spark for everything to occur. This really highlights the importance of the frequencies of the brain and how they affect the body.

Your thoughts and emotions create electrical signals that stimulate the brain to activate different areas which in turn set off the chemical, and hormonal processes of the body. Mind is cause. Everything down the line is merely an effect.

Too much speed that results in incoherence, the incoherence distorts the mechanical, chemical and hormonal functions which eventually can create disease. When you’re able to slow down and allow the brain to reach a coherent state, balance ensues. When the body is in a state of balance it’s able to repair and regenerate the necessary tissues for optimal health.

Translation: Being stuck in your mind all day worrying about the next meeting or thinking of the person who made you angry affects your body. That voice that beats you up mentally also hurts you physically.

Here’s an example of how…

Imagine you had a client that you’ve had a heated conversation with. Let’s say they were upset about something and exploded on you about their problem. Specifically, a conversation where you couldn’t say what you really wanted to say because you may lose the client. Then, later on that night you go home and tell your wife about “what you would have said to them”. Next thing you know your heart rate is rising, your breaking a sweat and literally heated all over again from this imaginary event.

When mind games like this happen the body is in fight mode when it doesn’t need to be. It’s getting flooded with chemicals and hormones to prepare you for your imaginary battle. It’s entering a state of extreme stress due to the signals you’re sending it. You’re essentially holding yourself in a high rate beta frequency all day in some cases. When it’s put under constant stress it will weaken until it finally breaks.

A Lesson From Nature

Nature evolves through gentle nudging. When force is applied, it responds with the force that’s applied to it. Hence Newton’s law: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I say this to highlight the importance of time when making changes with the body.

When I was training clients years ago it was common for them to feel discouraged after they didn’t reach their goal after one week of changing their habits. I would jokingly tell them “Well, how long did you have the other habits to get to where your body is now? You can assume it’s going to take just as long with the new habits to create a new body.” It doesn’t work exactly like that but time is required.

I learned this the hard way…

In college, I could make massive changes to my body very quickly through intense changes. I would go ‘ALL IN’ towards a goal. And…although I would reach it quickly, I would slingshot backwards each time I arrived. The intense changes I was making were not sustainable over time. So, just as quickly as I would diet down to get lean, I would find myself ballooning back up.

It wasn’t until I focused on the consistency of change over time that it lasted indefinitely.

I’ve talked a lot about the Fascial System of the body and its importance for making a mental, physical and spiritual change. It truly is the creator of life and bringer of death. Luckily, it’s extremely adaptable to change and can sustain large changes over time.

The patterns in your body that you’re experiencing didn’t come about overnight. They came about over time. Which means that it’s going to take time to change them. First, it involves becoming aware enough to identify the mental and physical habits underlying them. Maybe you ruminate in your mind before/after stressful meetings. Or maybe sit in an awkward position at work or driving. Although they may be at two very different ends of the spectrum those type of everyday habits are what creates the pattern.

The signal travels both ways. To relax and expand the Mind the body must relax. To relax and expand the body the mind must be relaxed. This is just another way of saying that there needs to be coherence between the frequencies. Again, it’s all connected.

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Soul - The Energetic Foundation

You may have noticed that the brain waves associated with calm, relaxation and restoration are slower. They are also created from an inward focus vs. outward. Ultimately, the slower the frequency the closer to rest or stillness you move.

We now know through quantum physics that everything is constant motion in various degrees. Assuming that Mind is the cause of everything, Mind must be Stillness. It’s the centering point that all motion moves around. Or in other words, the fulcrum that creates the motion of your reality.

If reality is in constant motion around a fulcrum then that fulcrum is still. It’s also the Source of where all the power lies. Therefore, in the stillness is where one can connect with Source.

Or what I call...The Genius Within.

I believe this is connected to the ancient & religious teachings around Silence and Stillness. There are multiple meanings throughout the texts but they can be distilled into one Understanding.

Silence in Mind.

Silence of Thought. Which Creates Silence of Word.

Together, they open for door to receive Knowledge.

In the physiological world, that door is the connection of the Mind to heart. The heart is the seat of the Soul and when there is coherence between heart and mind you open the world to the divine. A concept that will be explained with the proper depth in Finding YOU.

This internal/external place of Silence can only exist when you go Within. I believe this is what the texts mean when they say sit with me in Silence. When you are inside of ‘Your Room’ in your mind sitting with Self, you are sitting with an individuation of The One. YOU are sitting with Source (whatever that means to you).

It’s in these states of mind where your most profound insights and mystical experiences occur.

When I sat with my grandfather for his final moments it was if the world stopped. Everything was completely Silent and Still. In that moment, although he was unconscious I could connect with him. By shifting my own frequency in my Mind, I was able to connect with him.

Imagine if you were able to slow down and tune your frequency of Mind….Who knows what possibilities may open up for you?

The Integration

Life and business are similar in that they’re both a rollercoaster ride.

There will be ups and downs that provide lessons along the way. If you’re going too fast you’re going to find yourself spending all of your energy gripping onto the track, instead of enjoying the experience.

When confronted with an obstacle or challenge it’s in going through where the lessons are found. They’re lost when you try and go around.

I think the difficulty with going ‘through’ is that it often requires no action. Sometimes going through something means the experience within. It’s feeling all of the emotions. It’s sitting with yourself and allowing yourself space.

I forget where I heard this but I remember someone in a Mastermind once saying: “No one ever solved their biggest business problems with their faced buried in a computer frustrated”.

When you allow yourself to slow down and go within a whole new world of potential futures becomes available to you. This is where profound change is made in your business and life. Grinding yourself forward without the inward rest only allows one future. The same one you’re experiencing now....

If you don’t slow down to see the turns, you can only keep going straight.

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

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​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
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Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Dispenza, J. (2017). Becoming supernatural: How common people are doing the uncommon. Hay House.

Lipton, B. H. (2005). The biology of belief: Unleashing the power of consciousness, matter, and miracles. Elite Books.

Russell, W. (1926). The universal one. The University of Science and Philosophy.

I was on the road with the family exploring South Carolina. After living in Florida for the last three years we’ve decided it’s time to move on. The mountains are calling us and our boys need some wilderness to play in.

While I was planning on writing while traveling, my plan didn’t exactly work out (more on that below). We spent the morning hours in a car driving around different towns, neighborhoods and sites to experience. Naps were in the car. Which meant the afternoon was dedicated to play time.

My son is an early riser now so my previous travel strategy of wake early and work before everyone is up kinda went out the window. The week was a challenge yet at the same time an absolute blast.

I had to reframe my mindset and stop myself from slipping into old patterns more times than I can count. While I previously would views these things as obstacles, I can now see them fully as the opportunities they are.

There’s been countless lessons learned throughout and I thought some of them may be useful for you…

This Week’s Meditation Message

Watching my son look on in awe as I threw a frisbee into this disc golf hole really hits Home the importance of perspective.

This is the reminder I gave to myself in that moment...

What’s small & insignificant for you to do. Can be a huge accomplishment to someone else. Apply this to any positive in your life.

The inverse also applies...

What seems a huge catastrophe to you. Maybe simple step to somebody else. Apply this to any obstacle in your life.

Perspective dictates your perception.

Let’s unpack what this means and how you can apply it to the Triad of You...

Mind - The Psychological

Two days ago I received an email receipt from a coaching programs I was in two years ago for $3,900. I never signed up for recurring payments. This is the 2nd year in a row that it’s happened.

There are two ways I could have seen this:

1. {Insert Coach} is a scammer who continues to charge people that have left the group in hopes they don’t realize it.

2. Someone on {Insert Coach} team made a mistake.

Of course there are all sorts of variations of those stories. But they are the general conclusions one can make.

Your perspective dictates your perception.

If I had never been in a coaching program before or run my own masterminds, my perspective would be different. I wouldn’t understand these things happen and most likely would have been mad. I would have crafted and angry email etc.

If I didn’t know the person personally and understand who they are, my perspective would have been different. I would have jumped to a conclusion based on the most recent experiences.

The way that a situation is perceived is shaped by the perspective that you have. Without the perspectives I shared above, I would have leaned in the direction of option 1. Then, I would have carried that energy with me the rest of the day. I most likely would have been distracted until the battle was won. The situation would have power over me.

Instead, my perspective gave me the ability to easily select option 2. I sent a quick email and it was settled in 45 minutes. I knew that it would be handled appropriately and was able to move on. I had power of the situation.

The way that we perceive a situation is merely a matter of choice. Our choices are limited by the perspective that we hold. The more mental and emotional baggage that we have the more closed off our perspectives become.

In a stressful situation or confrontation the outcome is often based on whether you’re making that choice or your baggage is making it for you. The ability to be the one making that choice is what is on the other side of doing the ‘mental work’.

Take a second to think back to the last stressful encounter that you had. Could be with your kids or a team member. One where your emotions got the best of you and you had an unfavorable response.

I’m guessing that in the heat of the moment you didn’t see any other way of handling it. As if there was only one door that you could walk through. It probably wasn’t until after the fact when you sat with yourself and thought “I think I could have handled that better”.

When you release the negative emotions, limiting beliefs and misaligned values from the Unconscious Mind -- new doors become available. Suddenly, in the heat of the moment, you can assess what the best door is to walk through. Then, enter it.

A Quick Perception Shift

You don’t always have the time to ‘wait’ until the baggage is released. There are moments where you need to shift your perception right away. I find that stepping to someone else’s perspective helps. Especially, with kids.

Throughout the week I had to apply this lesson to multiple situations with the kids. By stepping into their perspective I was able to change my perception of certain situations.

Each day we spent hours in a car, missed our naps and didn’t get much playtime until later in the day. Needless to say, we experienced some behavioral changes.

By putting myself in their shoes I could appreciate the difficulty they were having with the routine shift. This allowed me to step out of my own way of getting frustrated that they were ‘being difficult’ or misbehaving. They were behaving exactly as they should for the circumstances.

In the past I would have allowed their behavioral changes to frustrate me and change my behavior. In the absence of frustration I was able to maintain presence.

Of course this is easier said than done.

Old Patterns & New Paths

10 weeks ago I committed myself to writing one letter per week. As the week went on and I didn’t find the time to write, I could feel the pull back into the ‘dark’. Or the old patterns. One of my number one values in business has been follow through. If I commit to doing something, I’m doing it.

This value was tied to the belief that sacrifice is required for success. I would sacrifice just about everything for a business commitment. Family time. Holidays. Vacation experiences. Time with friends. You name it and it came second. When I owned my brick and mortar business we never closed on a holiday except Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving & 4th of July. We’d stay open and in most cases no one would show.

The pull back into the dark had me thinking about taking off for the afternoon to write an work. Basically....go sit in a coffee shop while my wife and kids played outside. Or stay up late at night and work only to be in a crabby state the next day. Or worse...disconnect and work in my mind all day instead of being present.

The thing about old patterns is that they form a certain perspective which makes it easy to fall back into them and difficult to see beyond them. It’s easy to do what’s familiar. It’s difficult to step into something new.

So, the decision to not sacrifice was extremely difficult.

Each time an old thought pattern would pop in I would stop and reframe myself with questions.

“Is that really what I need to be doing right now?”

“Will keeping this arbitrary commitment give me what I want?”

“If my goal is mental peace and presence, will taking myself away to work create that?”

“Will missing out on our first family road trip provide me with what I want?”

Or this one really helps me when it comes to discipline/challenges...

“I know that I can sacrifice and will myself to do anything, can I will myself to let go and be free?”

Ultimately, the answer to each question was no. This helped to shift my perspective and perception of the scenario. If I were to fall into the old pattern I would get the old result. Which was one of frustration, disconnection and missing out on experiencing life.

After the shift, the decision to not sacrifice became easy. When you’ve sacrificed, grinded and willed yourself against your desires -- the real challenge becomes freeing your mind to follow a new path.

I’m just brain dumping here so I hope all that makes sense 🤷‍♂️

Body - The Physiological

A few weeks ago we were driving when my wife received a call from Chase Bank. At least, that’s what the caller ID said. They were calling because of fraudulent activity on one of our credit cards.

Thirty seconds into the conversation I could feel the whole right side of my body tighten (she was sitting on my right). I knew immediately something was off. I couldn’t identify it just yet but I had that feeling. You know that feeling, when you walk into a room and can feel something is off.

Everything sounded legit on the phone but something inside of me told me it wasn’t right. A few minutes later, he asked her if she could login to Zelle because that’s where the fraudulent transaction occurred. At that point, my mind confirmed what my body already knew. Click. We hung up.

Your body is fully aware of what’s going on around you. Sometimes even before you are consciously aware....

Adapting To The Signals

When you’re in a stressful environment it’s not just your mind that gets pushed and pulled into different directions. Spending 10 hours in a car with a two year old with a cold, a 4 month old that only wants to move and a 14 year old dog that’s a nervous norvis (my grandpa used to say this, no clue what a norvis is?) can really teach you a lot about your body and its connection to Mind and Energy.

To paint the scene - my wife spent the majority of of time sitting on the floor in between our boys. Keeping one entertained while soothing the other one that was screaming. Who she was soothing and entertaining switched throughout the ride.

To say that the energy and emotions inside the car were erratic would be an understatement. Even though I’ve learned to keep my mind centered and disconnect from allowing the stress of experiences like a car ride with 2 screaming kids take over, my body still felt it. By the time we got to our destination all of our body’s were tight.

By listening to our body we were able to call an audible for our daily plans. Originally, the plan was to hit open houses all afternoon and then again on Sunday. Following through on this because it was planned would have tightened our bodies even more. Like I said above, the old pattern would have been to do it because we planned it. I needed a new path...

So, we adapted to the signal.

Instead, we got outside to move and play. A sure fire way to release built up tension in the body is to move. If you remember from previous letters, the energetic and emotional stress that we experience gets held in our fascial system.

When the fascia experiences mechanical stimulation and heat it softens. You could say it gets things flowing a little more smoothly. Which is part of the reason why you feel better after a workout. Especially, after sitting for a long time.

If You’ve Got Kids...

In the spirit of shifting perspective and perception...

Understanding these concepts provides you with a different view on your kids behavior. You’re able to view the behavioral changes that occur with a different lens.

Using the car ride example -- you know how crappy you feel physically after a long car ride, plane ride, travel day etc. So, it makes sense that your kids probably feel similar. Sitting in a car seat for 10 hours is no fun.

The tantrum that ensues after a long day is much easier to digest when you understand the deeper causes. You also have tools that you’re able to deploy in order to help relieve their discomfort and your frustration.

Without understanding you find yourself stuck in one of those mental loops.

Your body is always telling you what it needs (so is your kid’s body) if you’re willing to listen. And...Movement is often the best medicine.

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

Watching your kids fascination and connection with nature truly opens your eyes to just how important it is. As humans, we need it.

There is a reason why it feels so good to be outside in the sun. Or to jump into the ocean. Stand atop a mountain. And sit next to a campfire beside the lake.

We are to live among nature not try conquer it. I feel like the biggest mistake humanity ever made was focusing all of our effort on how to use earth’s resources, instead of focusing on how they could use us. But, I digress.

This has been one of the biggest pulls for me over the last year -- to return to nature.

Living in a high rise downtown for two years really exposed me to the constant noise we exist in. Horns. Sirens. Screaming. The hum of traffic. The buzz of hvac systems. Late night concerts.

It’s never quiet.

Nature is the only place where you can truly find silence.

The Nature Inside of You

I think of a section from The Divine Iliad by Walter Russell where he speaks on sexual, social and environmental relationships. The overall concept to understand is one of energetic exchange. That ever relationship you have consists of an exchange of energy between you and the other.

You’ve probably heard the ole saying “You are the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with”.

Well, it’s true. You’ve seen someone close to you that has gotten involved in the wrong circles and led down a dark path. This energetic connection extends beyond who you surround yourself with. It’s also what you surround yourself with.

Russell talks about the interesting connection between man and nature. I’m paraphrasing here but he explains it like this...

A man who grows up in the mountains will always have the mountains in him. A man who grows up around the ocean will always have the ocean as a part of him. When he’s away from them he will constantly feel the pull back. So, that he can be one with the nature that is a part of him.

In the last year, I’ve had about a dozen people that I’ve connected with share with me that they were feeling a similar pull. A pull towards simplicity. In business and their personal lives. They’ve mentioned the need to get back to nature. Less technology. More connection. Etc.

For myself, the more that I’ve simplified life and returned to nature the more peace I find, in Mind.

So, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with all of the noise. Struggling to find mental peace. Or a call to a certain environment. Maybe it’s time to listen to it?

If you want to change the way you think you have to change the environment that’s contributing to the current thoughts.

I can’t begin to explain how much clearer you can think when you’re in the silence of nature.

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The Integration

Like I said above, every obstacle is in reality an opportunity. An opportunity for growth. An opportunity for learning. An opportunity for moving closer to YOU.

When in doubt, patience and persistence will overcome any resistance. It’s all about perspective and perception. That’s a lot of P’s.

If you’re leading teams, all of these principles can be applied....

Shifting your perspective on an employee’s mistake or issue can be the difference between building them or breaking them. It could be the difference between losing a client or gaining two. Or in even higher stakes, the difference between closing the deal or losing it.

As the great Walt Whitman wrote “Be curious, not judgmental”.

Yeah my son has great reading taste haha

Understanding why a team member, client or partner is behaving is much more valuable than judging them for it. Judgment closes perspectives. Understanding opens them. And...

If you need to shift your environment to shift perspective, make it happen. This is exactly why off-site leadership experiences or team dinners are so valuable.

Want your people to connect and open more? Get them out of the usual environment.

Want your people to have more energy and take action? Get them moving.

Want them to open their minds and think more clearly? Get them into nature.

Talk soon,

Ryan

P.S. - On the training I ran yesterday someone had this insight that stopped them in their tracks, they said: “If I don’t understand myself, how can I expect to understand my prospect” -- Just something to think about.

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
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​Paid​

Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Stone, R. (1986). Polarity therapy (Vol. 2). CRCS Publications.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. They’re backdated by a few weeks. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

Last week I mentioned that Truth is simple.

When you’re navigating an obstacle, whether it be mental or physical, it’s common to think that a solution can be ‘too simple to work’.

We tell ourselves “It can’t be that easy”.

More often than not the Truest solution is the simplest.

Although, rarely the easiest

This Week’s Meditation Message

Now that my youngest is 4 months old and we’ve exited the ‘bubble’ — I’ve been putting together some plans for events and new workshops for The Lighthouse.

As I’ve leaned more into business mode and less of the creative mode that I’ve been in for the last 8 months there has been a familiar pressure.

That entrepreneurial pressure to ‘do more’.

So, I asked…

How do I relieve the pressure?

The answer: Space.

A pretty obvious answer when it comes to the physics side of things.

Too much pressure in a container? Increase the size of the container. Not so obvious though when it comes to Mind,

Body and Soul.

Let’s unpack what this really means and how you can apply it to the Triad of You...

Mind - The Psychological

For close to 15 years I thought I had the optimal bed time routine….

I would lie in bed at night and before closing my eyes I would review everything in my mind that I wanted to accomplish and had to do the next day. All of the tasks I had to complete, meetings I would attend, potential conflicts that could come up. All of it. I had the tomorrow fully strategized before I ended today.

Then, I would close my eyes and attempt to sleep.

But, that playbook would continue to run in my mind.

Items that I didn’t think of the first time would get added the second time. And on and on this went until I was so tired from not sleeping that I finally passed out.

I would wake in the morning exhausted. There was no time for that so I would bury it behind caffeine and push forward. Then, all day long the playbook would run in my head and I would check off things one by one as I accomplished them. Finally…

...18 hours and 6 cups of coffee later all of the tasks were complete and I could start planning the next day as I lay in bed again.

Sound familiar?

While I got A LOT of stuff done and my actions looked disciplined and even admirable from the outside. I was slowing breaking apart inside. The pressure each day to accomplish everything I needed to was immense. If I missed something, it demoralized me. Eventually, that pressure became too much and the container burst.

I had no space left in my Mind.

I’ve found that many of the entrepreneurs I work with now have similar routine. To do lists. Emails. Content ideas. Role-playing meetings. Handling fires in the business preemptively in their mind.

Whatever the strategy is -- it leaves them in the same spot. No space and a constant pressure that won’t subside.

Imagine you’re driving a race car at full throttle without ever taking your foot off the pedal. Eventually, you’re going to run out of gas. Or worse. Burn up all of the oil and blow the engine.

This is what happens with Mind.

The more that you compress the Mind through concentration the less space there is for expansion. The constant thinking, over-thinking, ruminating, worrying etc. compresses the Mind like a spring coiling down. If you don’t ever release the pressure from the spring eventually it will lose the space between the coils. Same goes for Mind.

When this gets used as a strategy the Mind learns how to do this automatically. The pattern gets reinforced and becomes an unconscious habit. In science terms, it can be seen as a self-reinforcing feedback loop.

Your constant thinking creates an emotional reaction inside of you that release chemicals. Those chemicals signal the body to a state of mind which, based on past experiences, creates the same emotion in response. This emotion then continues the thoughts that started it.

The fear loop is a common example.

Wake up fearing the stressful meeting that you have today which creates a chemical response in the body. This kickstarts other thoughts of fear on every other topic in your Mind. Next thing

you know, you’re spiraling down into a pit of despair.

These loops create a stress response from the body that’s similar to being in fight or flight survival mode. The dump of chemicals/hormones in the body launches you into the state your ancestors needed to run away from the sabertooth tiger. Except, there’s no tiger now.

Instead, you’re always wired, on edge and scanning for the next threat. Whether that threat is real or imagined doesn’t matter either. Remember, your mind doesn’t know the difference between the two.

The common phrase is “My mind never shuts off”.

Which makes sense when you’ve trained it to only move in one direction — compression. Constant compression increases pressure. And…eventually the force of that pressure will break the container.

If you’re always compressing you lose the ability to expand and THINK.

Over time these chemical states of the body become addicting to the body and mind. They are both forever searching for balance and when you’ve existed in that state for a long period of time that becomes the identify of ‘normal’ or balanced. The concern of who am I without that rush leads to a pattern of behaviors and habits to re-create it. The constant focus on and managing all of this mental pressure is what eventually blows the engine in the race car.

So, how do you exit the loop?

There are all sorts of tactics that you can implement to reduce the mental load. Brain dumps. Pattern interrupts. Sleep routines. Etc. Those are all valuable and will help to change the pattern. But, what really helps is training the Mind to expand and create space.

This is an exercise that I like to do in the morning hours to create space in my mind. Try it out and let me know what you find.

Get yourself seated comfortable in a dark room with a night light on the wall across from you. Ideally, the light is close to your eye level and about 10-12 feet away from you. You don’t want any other lights around it. Just that single light source in front of you.

Start by staring at the light. But, instead of focusing in on the light, allow your gaze to expand to your peripherals.

Try to see the whole room on the left and right sides of the light. Think of it like opening your eyes wider and wider. The goal is to do this without forcing it. You don’t want to be pulling your eyes open with the muscles around your eyes. Allow the muscles to relax and vision to expand.

As you begin to expand your vision you may start to notice that the nightlight begins to get blurry. Your eyes may water. That’s ok. Stay relaxed and allow the expansion to continue. Once you break past that point of slight discomfort something cool will happen….

…the nightlight will begin to split into two night lights. When this first happens it can be a bit startling and it’s natural for the light to snap back into one. If so, just calmly try again.

Once the light begins to split into two continue to allow the two lights to expand away from each other. Allow them to move apart as far as they can so it’s as if you’re seeing one light through your left eye and one through your right eye. Sit there for a moment with the two lights in your vision then allow them to slowly come back to center as one.

This is de-centration of Mind. Or, expansion. You’re allowing your sense and mind to open fully to the moment in present. You will notice that any thought of past or future disappears.

It’s as if you’re floating in space.

Tip

As you begin to expand your vision to your periphery you can assist the process by expanding your listening. Allow all of the sounds to swim into your ears. The creaking of the fan. The rumble of the freezer. The ticking of the clock. Whatever is in your environment eliciting sound — listen for it. You’ll be surprised just how much more you can hear in this de-centrated state.

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Body - The Physiological

When I was a kid there was period where kids in school would try to cross their eyes in school to be funny. To stop the kids, teachers would say that if you keep doing that they will get stuck like that. It’s kind of true.

The fascial network responds to time under tension. The more tension that is placed and time spent in a certain position, the more the system will mold to it. This is the pattern that I’ve talked about in previous letters. The physical manifestation of your mental and emotional states in the body.

Mind is always the cause of the physiological effect (symptom).

Mind energy travels from the brain down the spinal cord into the body providing each energy system with the vital life energy it needs to operate. That over-concentrated mind that is always compressing down also compresses the body. In the same way that the spring analogy from above coils down, your body coils down as well.

Without going too deep into this here, I’ll just say that Hermes Staff and the concept of the Caduceus is real. It is the pathway that mind energy takes to innervate and infuse the body. This gives a clear visual of the spiral nature and how the coiling can occur.

Dr. Randolph Stone identified this in depth with his work on Polarity Therapy. Pulling from eastern medicine practices and his own work, he connected the influence it has on the major energy systems of the body.

As shown below in his diagram:

The Caduceus is used as symbol of medicine in the United States. Most ambulance and major medical establishments like The US Army Medical Corps, The Surgeon General and US Public Health Services use it. Although the underlying meaning has been lost in time and often misinterpreted.

Compression of The Body Reduces Space

You may have heard in recent years that “sitting is the new smoking”. This is concept can be applied to that. When you’re sitting down, hunched over in front of a computer with your mind buried in the work for the day you’re coiling this system down. The concentration of mind creates compression inside. Same goes for burying your face into your phone.

The constant compression of the mind compresses the body. The spiraling of mental loops. The persistent tension that occurs from hardening yourself to grind forward. It all takes its toll. Without expansion to release the tension — you get a locked system.

It starts in the diaphragm and eventually leads to the pelvis. If you’ve ever felt like you can’t take a full breath or can only breathe with your chest this may be why. If you’ve ever been told that your hip flexors are really tight and get back pain when sitting, this may be why.

It’s all connected.

Take this compression far enough and you can cut off the flow of vital energy to the lower body completely. Struggle with ED? This is also connected. Which is why the new trend of treatment is sound wave therapy to restore blood flow below.

Sound = Vibration

Vibration > Releases Blocks

Blocks Released = Increased Energy Flow = Improved Blood Flow.

So, How do you decompress?

Simple answer: Unwind the coil.

Here’s Three Ways To Unwind The Coil Effectively:

Expand Mind

The first is using the de-centration exercise above throughout the day. Expand the mind and you will expand the body. If you’re writing, on zoom calls or reading through documents for a long period of time. Take time to just sit and think about the information you just took in or communication you expressed. Simply, zoom out for a 5 minutes.

Walk

If you sit for most of your day working, give yourself movement breaks throughout the day. A method that I use for myself is every 90 minutes of work go walk for 10. This helps to get the vital energy flowing throughout the whole body. The rhythm of walking is actually purposeful. It’s the 1-2 pulse beat of the universe. Which means you have to walk, not speed walk. Think of it like a walking meditation.

Breathe

Deep controlled breathing activates the para-sympathetic nervous system and pulls you out of the sympathetic state. You can implement this with your expansion exercise or in the morning/evening. One of the most effective methods is box breathing. Follow the diagram below and if you can, lay down with your feet elevated in a 90 degree position.

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

Often when I sit down to write, the words that come out on the page are not mine. While they are coming through me, they are not created within me. If that makes sense?

Similar to the intuitive voice I mention in the meditation messages, these words are received and transcribed vs. thought of and written. I would say it’s akin to an epiphany. In an instant a concept or understanding becomes crystal clear. Although the words to communicate it seem cryptic, embedded within is deep meaning.

Well before I dove into my deep study on the fascia, vibration and it’s connection to Mind, Body and Soul too...I wrote this down in one of those moments.

Breath creates space.

I (ME) exist in the space between the space.

When I can’t find ME, Breathe to create the space to free me from underneath.

As you begin to Rise, Sing and rejoice, Use your Breath to Find HIS Voice.

For in the Resonance of your Word is the way for YOU to be Heard.

When your voice is heard, the door is Open, YOU are Awoken.

Swallow your Ego, lock him in.

As YOU Separate in silence 🤫 Within.

Sink down in deep, look inside; Connect your Heart to Mind and Become Divine

This seemingly cryptic message actually explains in detail how to open your mind, release your body and connect the Triad of You.

In order to fully express yourself there must be space for you to breathe. The ego must be subdued. Your voice of intuition and true thoughts must be released. A connection of your heart and mind must be made.

The heart is the cauldron of fire that all vital energies must pass through in the body. Without opening your heart it’s not possible to be all of YOU.

Your nervous system is the container and pathway of connecting the energy systems of the body and The Triad of YOU. If there is too much pressure in the container, those pathways become blocked. The connection fragments and energy can’t flow freely between them.

This is why some days you feel great and ‘like yourself‘. While other days it’s almost like you’re a different person. You lose your mojo so to speak. Or in some instances, can’t muster up the energy to get out of bed, get off the couch or show up fully. It can feel like a part of you is pulling one way while the other is pulling in the opposite direction. Because, it is.

Space is required to restore the flow. Without creating space things remain the same. Underlying every physical, chemical and mechanical process in the body is an energetic foundation. If the energy can’t flow it disrupts everything up the chain.

The good thing is that The Triad of You cannot be broken completely. Although it can become fragmented, separated , or feel disconnected. The connection cannot be fully broken.

Even when your ego is in full control and you’re lashing out on a team member or vendor there is still that little voice whispering to you. Urging you to go about it differently because you know it’s not right in your heart. Or...

When you’re beating yourself up with negative self-talk or judgment there is still that voice whispering to you in support.

The more that you coil yourself down the quieter that voice will get. The blocks reduce the ability for it to be heard. Just as they reduce the ability of the energy to travel. And...

A reduction in the energy traveling results in a lower vibration. Which translates to existing in the lower states of consciousness like fear, guilt, shame or even anger.

Again, it’s all connected. (I know this theme is getting repetitive lol)

In the first issue I shared with you a powerful quote from Andrew T. Still:

“The fascia is the house of god that the soul resides in.”

This is what it means to create space and why it’s so important for relieving the pressure within.

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The Integration

If you’ve been reading I hope that you have been starting to see the patterns and gain some insights into your own life/journey. I know that some most of these concepts are hard to grasp at first. They oppose most everything we’ve been taught or told since a young age.

There’s a very common saying in the coaching space that “you can’t fill up your up if it’s already full”, meaning that you can’t learn new strategies if you’re unwilling to let go of the old ones.

There needs to be space in the cup.

Space isn’t something that you find, you must create it. But...Once you create enough it, it starts to create itself.

I think that’s one of the hardest lessons to learn. That once you hit a certain level, the key to speeding up is actually to slow down. You don’t have to do more. You need to be more. And...

...You can’t start being until you stop doing.

So, I encourage you to slow down, empty your cup and take some time to sit with these concepts. Do some of your own research if needed. Allow your mind to find the proof that it needs (the CIA archives is a great place for that on these topics).

I promise that understanding these concepts will do far more for you in life/business than any tactic, hack, routine or strategy ever will.

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

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​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
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Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Stone, R. (1986). Polarity therapy (Vol. 2). CRCS Publications.

After a decade entrenched in the destructive habit, I finally decided to kick it.

I’m talking about Social Media.

For 10 years I was consumed with social media every single day. My first mentor taught me how to run ads and that became the pathway to how I grew my first business to the million dollar mark.

Then, it became the pathway to how I connected with leaders in the industry. It’s how I launched my mastermind group and landed speaking engagements.

I never thought of it as something that ‘negatively’ affected me. Until I stepped away from it…

In October of last year I closed down my social media apps and haven’t opened one since then.

(Yes, I still run ads and maybe that’s how you found me…but I haven’t been on the app or engaged in 8 months.)

It wasn’t until I closed them down that I really began to see how much it affected me.

The Mind craves simplicity.

Social media creates a complex web of ideas and thoughts pulling you to something ‘out there’ and keeping you from finding the gold ‘in here’

As I got away from it I began to see how it was stunting my creativity. Putting me inside of a box of comparison where the focus was to keep up with the trend.

You see someone else in your industry who’s very successful with a certain method, type of content, sales process etc….

…and you feel the need to follow along.

This leads you into doing things that you really don’t want to do…but do it for the perceived outcome from others.

It might not always be explicitly said but the feeling is ‘you have to do it this way to be successful’.

So…you sacrifice your method or idea for someone else’s in the name of success.

At least that’s the lesson I’ve learned for myself.

Stepping away from Social Media has allowed me to re-create the boundaries of how ‘I prefer to operate in business’.

Because, I don’t know about you but I don’t want to post 10 times per day, message 100 people per day, or spend dozens of hours each week selling people on Zoom.

I want to create freely and help those who are ready to be helped. Not convince them they need it or worse…convince them they’re capable of change.

Releasing myself from the stronghold of social media has allowed me to do that.

I discovered a pattern for me was to use anger and frustration as fuel for my motivation. My strategy was to get angry and use that energy to produce. Social media was a major source for that negative fuel. I would find the comparison to show me I’m not doing enough or ‘someone’ is beating me. Then, angrily grind my way past them. It wasn’t a very fun cycle to be in...

Removing the ‘scroll’ from my life has allowed me to reprogram that strategy and create without anger. This is just small example of how patterns we think are helpful can actually be hurtful.

I’m not saying it has to be an all or nothing experience. Just sharing some insights from what I’ve learned by walking away from it.

I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on it….

Are you all in on Social still?

Are you taking a step back?

Are you finding a middle ground?

Comment below or shoot me a message and let me know

Ryan

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. They’re backdated by a few weeks. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

May 8, 2026

When I was in college I read a book that would end up changing my whole life. I didn’t realize it at the time but that little book opened my mind to a perspective that I had never seen before. It also forced upon me a level of self-responsibility and accountability that I was not ready for.

Although I understood it, I didn’t embrace it fully until years later.

That book was As a Man Thinketh, by James Allen.

Written in 1903, the book outlines Allen’s philosophy on the power of mind. How man is merely a creation of effects resulting from one cause — his mind. I can’t remember exactly what drew me to that book. Other than it was exactly what I needed at the time.

I found myself in a place of deep darkness and Mr. Allen was the first to show me the Light.

Since then, As a Man Thinketh has become like a bible of sorts for me. I’ve read it dozens of times and carry it with me on most days. At any time I can read passages from the book and find relevance to my life. And…

When I need guidance it often illuminates the path.

This Week’s Meditation Message

I can still remember sitting at the stop light. Fuming with anger as it signaled green but I couldn’t proceed. There were 3 kids playing in the middle of the street. Blocking traffic. In that moment, I began to judge them. Calling them all sorts of names and jumping to a myriad of negative conclusions about their lives.

Then it hit me….

These thoughts and the negative feelings associated would be carried with me all day long. They would effect every action I took. The would infect every communication I had. They would blind me with anger and frustration.

I can’t say exactly why or how…But…those thoughts were suddenly interrupted with a voice echoing loudly.

“As a Man Thinketh, in his heart so is he”

It was that voice I mentioned last week. Whispering to me exactly what I needed to hear at that time. Urging me to make a shift. To take notice of the power of my Mind. It would take me years to really understand what that voice was and the importance of the message. But, it never ceased to whisper to me that same message in times when I needed to hear it.

Patiently, it waited for me to Listen.

Which is ironic because this is another message I received last year when trying to teach the Knowledge I acquired to those around me…

One Must Be Ready To Learn, In Order To Be Taught.

In Order To Learn, One Must Be Willing to Listen.

To Be Ready To Listen, The One Must Have Been Heard.

Now, let’s unpack what this really means and how you can apply it to the Triad of You...

Mind - The Psychological

“A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justices which regulate his life.”

Last week, I shared with you the hard steps of self-responsibility and releasing the blame that is often placed on circumstances.

This is what Allen was writing about. It is only when you fully accept that you are the maker of your world and creator of your destiny that you can begin to shape and mold it to your will.

Until then, one may be anxious to improve their circumstances but without improving themselves will remain bound to them. Forever blaming others on the circumstances they’ve created themselves. The only way to change your circumstances is to change yourself. The formula is simple…

A seed of corn will yield corn.

A seed of an oak tree will yield an oak tree.

You can’t plant corn seeds and expect oak trees.

The same goes for Mind…

Good thoughts and actions will result in a Good result.

Bad thoughts and actions will result in a Bad result.

The difficulty is that these ‘causes’ are often existing at the unconscious level.

So, how do you change yourself? More specifically…

How do you cleanse your mind of the impure thoughts, the weeds, that pull you down…if you don’t know they are there?

The answer is through Understanding.

That is — Understanding yourself — by “searching for the hidden injustices which regulate your life”

These hidden injustices are often found within the belief systems and values that you hold. These are the mental programs that operate below the surface, at the unconscious level. It’s the reason behind why you value material assets or don’t. Whether or not you believe higher education is necessary or not. If you lean towards holistic medicine or traditional medicine.

It’s why you ‘think _____ should be done that way.” And…possibly try to bring justice to anyone who doesn’t do it that way? Just a hint….

Your beliefs and values are established early in your childhood.

In general, the way that you view the world and the values you hold are installed by the time you’re seven or eight years old. In the U.S. this is heavily influenced by the zip code you grew up in and the political or spiritual beliefs your parents had. Then, they govern your whole life.

Seems kinda weird to be living a life at 40 years old based on beliefs and values created when you were still playing with Tonka trucks, right? Well, that’s how most people operate.

Which is why one is not a ‘Man’ until he discovers these causes — only a child. Mentally that is.

The best way that I’ve found to uncover these hidden causes is to write (I’ll share more about that process below). The short version is taking the time to ask yourself ‘Why’.

Why do I believe _____?

Why do I think ______is right/wrong?

Why do I value ______?

Why don’t I value _______?

Another great tool for Understanding is Sprial Dynamics based on Dr. Clare W. Graves’ research, which explains how individuals and societies evolve through stages (identified by colors) to solve complex life challenges. Each level, represented by a color, reflects a distinct worldview, shaped by both internal capacity and external life conditions.

The model alternates between self-expression and self-sacrifice themes, and people move through the levels as their old strategies stop working and new ones become necessary.

Here is a quick rundown of the different values, what they represent and an environment that embodies these values.

Beige - Survival Instinct (Environment Doesn’t Exist)

Basic human existence driven by instinct and need; focused purely on staying alive in the moment.

Purple - Spiritual Rituals (Tribal Environment)

Life is guided by tradition, ancestral customs, and magical thinking; the individual sacrifices self to honor the tribe and its beliefs.

Red - Personal Power / Violence (Gangs, War or North Korea)

A world of dominance and survival through strength; power is seized through force, and self-interest reigns supreme. only.

Blue - Organizational Order (Government Rules or Church Dogma)

Structure, rules, and discipline create order; individuals find purpose through obedience to a higher authority or belief system.

Orange - Personal Freedom (Entrepreneur)

Driven by success, autonomy, and rationality; values innovation, results, and individual performance in a competitive world.

Green - Community First (Save The Whales at Expense of Self)

Seeks harmony, inclusiveness, and emotional connection; prioritizes collective well-being even at personal cost.

Yellow - Embodiment of Self (Self-Actualization)

Operates from self-awareness and systems thinking; balances complexity with clarity, acting from inner alignment and purpose.

Turquoise - Pure Enlightenment (World Peace)

Views all life as interconnected; operates from global consciousness, spiritual unity, and collective healing.

It’s not as simple to say that you’re just one of these colors. It’s healthy to have values in all areas (except beige) at certain levels. Especially, as you’re transitioning through them over time.

As an example, in my younger years I was definitely a Blue / Red. Very angry and disciplined. Hard work. Aggressive action. Disciplined schedules and rules. That’s what I valued most. Power to protect me and defend against all. Couldn’t tell ya who all was though looking back on it? haha

Then, I became an entrepreneur and ditched the rules for Orange. But, I still had an unhealthy amount of Red left in me. This was the fire that drove me in business and in competition. It’s also the one that was destroying me from the inside out.

After my own mental transformation started in 2017 I transitioned my red nature into some Green. Then after my breakdown/breakthrough in 2023 and re-integrating myself I entered into the realm of Yellow.

Using a tool like this can help you reflect back on where you’re at currently and have been in the past. It’s best and very eye-opening to actually take the assessment. When I was at the event where I first took the assessment, the majority of the room was disappointed in their results. They ‘thought’ they were someone they’re not.

A normal reaction for having your world view cracked open a bit to reality.

To tie this back into the cause and effect of Mind…

If you’re an entrepreneur that exists heavily in the beliefs/values of Red then you will most likely have a lot of conflict in your business. If you’re constantly on the attack it makes sense to find yourself equally on the defense.

Remember….

Beliefs are the foundation of your thoughts.

• Your thoughts dictate the language that you use.

• The language that you speak and hear will create the actions you take.

• Those actions that you take repeatedly harden themselves into habits of behavior.

• • The habits of behavior that you carry out over time will ultimately mold your life experience.

»»This video training explains more thoroughly how all of this effects your life.

Get Your Copy Now

Body - The Physiological

There was a workshop I hosted almost ten years ago when I first spoke about this level of self-responsibility. I said to the attendees that they must accept that everything about their life both good and bad is their fault.

Almost instantly, a woman shot her hand up and shouted “I have cancer, it’s not my fault.”

While I didn’t tell her at the time…the truth is — yes it is.

Every effect has a cause. You cannot escape this universal law. Your body is a servant of the mind. Whether that be through conscious control or unconscious automation. The thoughts that pervade the mind, infect the body.

Therefore, your current state of your body’s health is the effect caused by your Mind.

“As a man thinketh, in his heart so is he”

This is meant on an emotional level as well as the physical. I mentioned last week the connection between thought, vibration and its effects on every tissue of the body. Without knowing it, this is what Allen was writing about 120 years ago.

While your body is a servant of the Mind, it’s also a two-way communication system. So, if you’re struggling with changing the thoughts that pervade the mind you can start by changing the way you treat your body.

This message I received in meditation is an example of this:

Love myself first. This will open the doors to love others. Without loving self first, the door will not open. You will be locked inside a closet of your own judgment.

Providing yourself with ‘Self-Love’ will resonate throughout your body, mind and your environment.

I’m not talking about the buzzword of self-care that’s sold to you online here. This is honoring the needs of your Self. What does this mean?

This is part 2 of that meditation message:

When I need rest — rest.

When I need to breathe fire — breathe it.

When I need to play — play.

If you take a second to think about your daily rhythm of life I’m sure you will notice that there are certain things that you do for your body that help your mind. Maybe it’s going for a walk. Stretching. Getting a massage. Playing pick up basketball. Swimming. Cooking healthy meals. Sitting in quiet.

This excerpt from Finding ME shows how I discovered this for myself...

The most mind-blowing discovery?

My unconscious had been trying to heal me for twenty years through habits I thought were just discipline:

Physical Release: Twenty years of 4 AM workouts weren’t about building my body — they were about releasing the rage trapped inside. My unconscious knew I needed a safe way to discharge that energy.

Building My Room: Every morning after training, I’d sit with coffee and create mental space. I thought it was productivity. It was actually my mind creating the space needed for integration.

Stream of Consciousness Writing: Since 2010, I’d journal every morning. Not for productivity — for healing. Writing is the direct link to the unconscious mind. Each page revealed another voice, another part, another piece of the puzzle.

Mediums of Expression: Video games as a teenager. Music and movies as an adult. My mind found ways to feel and express emotions I couldn’t access directly.

Your mind is already trying to heal you. You just have to recognize the patterns and work with them, not against them.

However these habits show up for you…these are versions of showing your Self…Love.

In the first Letter, I wrote about the intuitive messages or signals that you receive from Mind in regards to your body. It’s that ‘Knowing’ you need to ______.

Following through on these actions is training your Mind. You’re teaching it Trust. Ignoring them is teaching distrust. Which creates an internal conflict.

Ya know…that feeling you get when you know you should have _____ but didn’t because of work/time/worry/anxiety/fear etc.

Mind signals from the top-down. You can signal through your body from the bottom-up. Sending more positive signals up will result in more positivity to be sent down. I know it seems too simple to work. But…Truth is always simple.

My brother said something to me once that I think relates here.

He said: “If you follow fitness long enough eventually you’ll find God, and, if you follow God long enough eventually you’ll find fitness.”

Your health and connection to Self go hand in hand.

Below I talk about the importance of honoring your True Purpose in Work. This connects to your Personal Task in this sojourn as well.

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

There seems to be a misunderstanding of the Idea, Thoughts, Actions and overall Understanding around Work.

I am leaping here but I believe the concept of work and labor come from the ancient texts and religious texts. Many of which describe man’s need for and duty to work or labor for spiritual transmutation. It’s written in multiple ways but that is the overall sentiment. After that, it got connected to economic results.

In the ancient texts the word Work is often capitalized as you see here. This is because it is in relation to God, Spirit, You, One, Self or whichever terminology you prefer. This highlights, again, the importance of Knowledge vs. Information. For, thinking with only information will lead to – Ignorance. Like in the case of Work.

Work is the action by which you carry out your Purpose or Path on your journey through the wave that is Life. It is not a function of physics. It is not a form of labor. It is not a job nor is it a career.

Which herein lies the majority of our current misunderstanding.

I believe that this gross misunderstanding is the Cause of the majority of Effective suffering that people experience in the area of life that pertains to career. They choose a career to work in so they can achieve their life goals (mostly financial). They painstakingly push themselves beyond their limits of exertion mentally and physically at “work” to achieve _______.

Then, they find themselves hating every moment of their “work” on the way to their goals. Suck it up. Man up. Grind harder. That’s what we’re told. “Push through the pain” is a familiar mantra.

The overarching theme: Suffer long enough and you can achieve your dreams.

When you Understand the True meaning of Work it becomes clear why so many people suffer. You are ONLY meant to carry out the Work to bring forth your Purpose. When you are

Working on Purpose, you are guaranteed to move closer to your life goals. It will happen with ease too.

Because…

Your Highest Purpose is Your Life Goal (…this relates to your personal task and world gift that I wrote about in an earlier letter).

Chasing anything other than that is against your Highest Purpose.

Which is why it hurts so much when you push, grind and try to sacrifice your way there.

It’s called sacrifice for a reason…

You are sacrificing the YOU inside to achieve what you think is outside. This excerpt from Finding ME shows how this manifested for me:

“Inside, I was empty. I existed as a hollow soul playing a character online. I lost sight of my true purpose, chasing vanity metrics — money, status, external validation. I sacrificed parts of who I was to become who that world told me I needed to be.”

The story of the Mountain of Success paints this picture clearly…

Everyone has their mountain of success that they’ve imagined they need to climb in order to achieve ______. Or often it’s positioned as “When I get ______, my problem of _______” will be solved. We see this all the time in heist movies. The thief always has a number in mind they need to hit to feel secure. You’ve probably even heard someone mention that at a mastermind before. That’s their mountain.

Once the mountain is identified they will scout it out and identify the shortest route to the top.

Then, they will painfully push themselves through a torturous set of obstacles attempting to arrive at the top. Each time they receive a clear sign there is massive danger ahead, they ignore it. Looking at the number of fallen climbers and guides along the way, they believe this is the only way. Eventually, every single one of them will find the obstacle or challenge that was too dangerous to take on. Some will attempt to overcome the great danger until it finally overcomes them.

A few will jump off the mountain, deploy their parachute and arrive on the base of the backside. To find warmth, they will dig down in the snow where they find a door. They will open the door and find themselves inside of the mountain. Inside, they will have to traverse a dark labyrinth with it’s own dangers, although different than those on the mountain. When they arrive at the end of the labyrinth they find a lantern.

Once lit, they find that they are face to face with doors to an elevator that takes them straight to the top of the mountain with everyone they Love inside. In that moment they realize that they spent their whole life climbing when all they had to do was dig.

All they had to do was stop scraping and climbing for a few moments…and dig.

The Mountain of Success story is the path that many entrepreneurs take in search of their treasure. The gold and diamonds to secure their financial future and security. The accolades to solidify their significance. The ‘thing’ that will set them free.

You don’t climb to find gold, you dig.

You don’t climb to find diamonds, you dig.

Your soul is the golden diamond within that illuminates your world. I believe that our purpose in this life experience is to dig and find the diamond within. To release the soul into the world.

If you’ve been following for a while you’ll notice that’s quiet different from my previous beliefs that business is war and life is a game that’s meant to be won...

....that’s what a major shift in values looks like.

Last note....

There was a National Geographic show with Will Smith called Pole to Pole that came out back in January. It was really documenting his own awakening and rebuilding of his life after the Oscar’s incident.

He described reaching “the end of fame” and “the end of money” only to fall into an abyss where life loses its ability to please you, leading to the realization that what you are actually looking for is yourself. He said that even after reaching the peak of fame and financial success, he still felt like an insecure child seeking approval. He said that in his attempt to ‘win’ at life, he missed out on experiencing life.

How To Start Digging

The journey back to YOU starts well before you know that you’re on it…Technically, it begins the moment you are born.

Above, I mentioned the importance of writing to uncover your values and beliefs. It’s also a powerful tool that you can identify pivotal moments of your life that shaped you. Through my own writing I’ve been able to pinpoint key experiences in my life that were necessary for my unfolding. That’s how I found ME.

I’m sure that if you looked back on your own life you could find yours. Hint: they’re most often found within times of suffering.

As Allen writes “The sole and supreme use of suffering is to burn out and purify all that is useless and impure”

This is what the reflection questions throughout Finding ME and the Lighthouse Journal bonus that’s included with helps you with. Uncovering the Truth of YOU that’s been buried within so that it can rise above.

If you haven’t grabbed a copy of the book yet you can start this process by answering these from chapter 9….

If you’ve been searching for answers at the top of your mountain, I encourage you to start digging.

The Integration

ll leave you with this poem from James Allen:

You will be what you will to be;

Let failure find its false content In that poor word, “environment,”

But spirit scorns it, and is free.

It masters time, it conquers space;

It cows that boastful trickster,

Chance,

And bids the tyrant Circumstance Uncrown, and fill a servant’s place.

The human Will, that force unseen, The offspring of a deathless Soul, Can hew a way to any goal, Though walls of granite intervene.

Be not impatient in delay,

But wait as one who understands;

When spirit rises and commands,

The gods are ready to obey.

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
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​Paid​

Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Alex Jinich-Diamant, Sierra Simpson, Juan P. Zuniga-Hertz, Ramamurthy Chitteti, Jan M. Schilling, Jacqueline A. Bonds, Laura Case, Andrei V. Chernov, Joe Dispenza, Jacqueline Maree, Natalia Esther Amkie Stahl, Michael Licamele, Narin Fazlalipour, Swetha Devulapalli, Leonardo Christov-Moore, Nicco Reggente, Michelle A. Poirier, Tobias Moeller-Bertram, Hemal H. Patel. Neural and molecular changes during a mind-body reconceptualization, meditation, and open label placebo healing intervention. Communications Biology, 2025; 8 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s42003-025-09088-3

Dispenza, J. (2017). Becoming supernatural: How common people are doing the uncommon. Hay House

Three Initiates. (1908). The Kybalion: A study of the Hermetic philosophy of ancient Egypt and Greece. Yogi Publication Society.

Wolf, R. (Director). (2019). The mindfulness movement [Film]. Wisdom Films.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

April 24, 2026

I want you try something for a second...

Say out loud the word “Superstar!” Now...

get a little weird with it... channel your inner Mary Catherine Gallagher from SNL and say it in that tone. Superstar!

Now, close your eyes and imagining that same excited tone yell the word “Superstar” in your mind. Don’t speak it. Scream it in your mind just like she would do.

You heard it right? But, how...

There was no audible sound for your ears to listen to but you heard it. Your lips didn’t move to create any sound but you heard it. There was no process that occurred for you to speak those words nor hear them, yet you heard them.

If you didn’t speak it or hear it....Then, who said it?

YOU.

The ‘voice’ referred to as your inner helper, spirit guide or in simply YOU. Intuition is probably the most widely understood identity. It’s the voice underneath all of the other voices.

When you clear out the mental and emotional baggage to find stillness in your Mind, you gain the ability to tap into that voice at Will. When you tap in you can ask questions and receive instruction.

This week’s message comes from that voice....

This Week’s Meditation Message

Sitting in Starbucks with my eyes closed, I allow my mind to open. As the door opens I step foot into ‘my room’ and sit for my time with ME. This is the place where I AM. The point of stillness, balance and center. The place where I can ask any question and get the guidance needed.

Yup, I’m the ‘weird’ guy now who meditates in public. Kinda funny considering for twenty years I wouldn’t go in public without my hair gelled because I didn’t want people to see my hair a mess lol

On this day I asked 3 questions and I’d like to share the response to one of them. I feel it applies to so much in life/business and the journey back to you.

The question: What’s the next step I need to take?

Answer: The hard steps.

That might seem a little vague to you but it’s precise to me. This is how communing with ‘God’ / ‘Mind’ works. The answers you receive must be interpreted and applied to YOU.

**If you want a meditation to help you access your own ‘Room’ — you can use this one I created here.

Here’s how you can apply this to the Triad of You on your own journey...

Mind - The Psychological

The hard steps in the mind aren’t what you think they are…

In order to make a lasting change mentally it requires effort.

That’s why I tell every client I work with that while I can be the guide / architect in helping to design the desired state of your mind — ultimately you have to take self-responsibility in creating it. Accepting this Truth is one of the pre-requisites of change.

It’s easy to blame your state on circumstance, someone else or something else outside yourself. It’s a ‘hard’ step to take 100% responsibility.

Understanding the Law of Polarity and mental transmutation will help you do that. In the Hermetic teachings The Law of Polarity states:

“Everything is Dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.”

What does this actually mean?

The most clear way I’ve seen this shown is with concepts of hot/cold, hard/soft or light/dark. They are at the core the same exact thing existing at different places on a spectrum. Go look at a thermometer and try to identify the place where cold ends and hot begins. There isn’t one. They are but varying degrees of the same thing.

This can be applied to Mind.

Love and hate can be seen in a similar way. They are extremes of the same. Love is at one end of the spectrum and hate is at the other. In between each of them is a multitude of degrees.

Which brings us to the Law of Vibration that states:

“nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates”

Going back to temperature...the difference in degrees between each point can be measured by vibration. As you increase the vibration of a substance the temperature rises. This is how your microwave works.

Remember that Mind = Energy? Everything vibrates. Including Mind Energy.

Well, that energy can be measured through vibration. Which means that your every thought and emotion carries with it their own vibration.

You’ve probably heard someone say “You gotta raise your vibration, man” (said in a Cheech and Chong voice). This is what is meant by that.

If Love and Hate or Happy and Sad exist on the same spectrum and the points on the spectrum are separated by degrees of vibration that means you can change them. Just like you can view the world in glass half-empty or half-full perspective. You can view it in a Love or Hate perspective.

It’s a matter of Desire and Will (which are also measurable forces of the Mind).

This is why no one can make you sad or make you happy...technically. When you become a true master of mental transmutation you can actually change the vibration of thought/emotion in another. Yes, Mind control is real. That’s for a different day though...

But, it’s kinda relevant because a weak mind is susceptible to the frequencies of others’ thoughts. Whereas a strong mind is impenetrable.

Which comes back to self-responsibility...

It’s each individuals personal responsibility to create, maintain and protect their mental states. So, the next time you catch yourself saying “[Insert Name, made me angry, sad, unhappy etc.” Remember, you are responsible for your own emotions.

The way that one can manually control this is through Mental Transmutation or Mental Alchemy. Changing one form of thought or emotion into another.

By understanding the principle of polarization, vibration and rhythm -- one can polarize their mind to a desired vibration.

Translation: you can move across the spectrum at Will.

Many high performers do this unconsciously without knowing it. This is how athletes like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant or Tiger Woods stay cool under pressure.

These are the hard steps that must be taken when transforming your mind. It’s not easy to change your frequency. It takes tremendous levels of awareness, focus (Desire) and effort (Will). It requires you to STOP and find the stillness within to adjust. To center and balance.

Here’s how you can start to do this in your day:

Morning

Just like I showed you with my Disney experience, you can decide the day you’re going to have before it starts. You can wake up dreading the big meeting that is scheduled that day or you can change your state and become excited for it. You can convince yourself that the kids will be miserable on the trip you’re taking or that it will be filled with joy and laughter. Again, you decide.

Take 11 minutes in the morning and listen to the meditation I shared above. Go into your room and decide on the day you’re going to have. Focus your attention on the state you wish to embody. Feel it. Hear it. Taste it. Make it real.

Then, go live it out.

Lunch

The majority of entrepreneurs I work with don’t take a true lunch time break. They either don’t eat or shove food in their mouths while working. At the very least they have a phone in their hand or in front of their face.

Ditch the distractions.

Sit with yourself and eat food. Allow your mind to do nothing but taste the food and feel it fuel you. Think of this as a nervous system rest and refuel. Drink plenty of water and go for a walk afterward if possible.

This 20-30 minute break will do more for you than any amount of ‘work’ you could have done while eating.

Evening

Close out your day with a routine for rest and relaxation.

Shut off the screens. Stretch. Sit in quiet or with calming music. Read. Write. You don’t need to get caught up in some detailed routine. Find what works for you.

The goal is to relax the mind, rest the nervous system and prepare for the next day. This doesn’t mean create an endless to-do list, schedule content or get ahead on emails.

It means rest.

Unwind yourself down after a day of winding yourself up. (There are many ways this sentence can be applied if)

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Body - The Physiological

Before I was the ‘business guy’ -- I was the ‘workout guy’ and trained a variety of clients. They ranged from professional athletes to 80 year old retirees. There was one client I had that was 82 years old. Yet, he looked like he was 60.

He worked out 3 days per week. Skied the alps every year. To this day I’ve never seen him sick. I’ve also rarely seen him angry or sad. He always presented with a very calm and collected demeanor. He was balanced.

Balance = Health.

These laws of polarity and vibration apply to your body (and everything else in the Universe).

Mind acts through the body.

If you’re Mind is constantly being polarized into a ‘negative’ state or low vibrational state. Those vibrations will reverberate throughout your whole system. They effect every cell of your body. Every atom in matter.

The Masters from the Ancient texts knew this well. Stories of mystics like Milarepa, who used these laws to break our understanding of physics, are littered throughout the Ancient texts. The hand print still exists on the wall inside the cave where he taught his students and showed him the power of these laws by pressing his hand into the rock wall.

If you’ve ever wondered how the pyramids were built without modern technology to carry stones that weight 10-20 tons. This is how. They understood the Universal laws and were able to use them to transform and transport matter at Will.

Modern science has started to catch up to the ancients....slowly. There are now dozens of studies that have shown the effects of polarizing brain activity through meditation. This just came from a study published last year...

A single week of intensive meditation and mind-body practices led to measurable changes across the brain and body. Researchers observed improved brain efficiency, boosted immune signaling, and increased natural pain relief chemicals in participants’ blood. The effects even promoted neuron growth and stronger brain connectivity. Surprisingly, the experience mirrored psychedelic-like brain states—without any drugs involved.

This is the benefit of finding the stillness within. When you’re to bring yourself there through meditation you don’t just experience positive mental changes. You can experience physiological benefits.

Individuals like Deepak Chopra have popularized meditation and the mindfulness movement in more recent years. You can find clips online where they hook him up to an EEG machine while he manually changes his brain activity through meditation.

This opens the door for what is called self-healing....

...which requires a hard step to walk through that door.

Self-healing requires self-responsibility.

We currently exist in a medical model where the inherent accepted belief is that you must find the help of another solve your health concerns. It requires far less self-responsibility. The responsibility lies within finding help.

As modern science continues to catch up to what the Ancients knew that responsibility is going to shift. You won’t need to go to a doctor for minor aches, pains and discomforts. The responsibility will fall back to you.

In Finding YOU, I will show you how I’ve used these laws myself to remove the floaters in my eyes, re-align my teeth, improve my hearing, cure myself of IBS, and release the knots and joint pain I experienced for years.

Note: No, I’m not saying doctors will become obsolete in anyway. With the advancement of tech and complexity of our world will come an equal advancement in the complexity of disease. Their focus will be able to be where it’s needed most. There simply won’t be enough time or doctors to be able to handle every little ache and pain for every person. You’re already seeing this now. Ai will accelerate this trend.

This is a hard step that you can begin to take now, though.

Taking more responsibility for your own health and the impacts that your mind has on it. I hope that the puzzle pieces I’ve been laying out for you on the importance of Mind, the fascial network, sound, vibration etc. are opening some doors for you. By taking time to understand and apply the Universal laws to yourself there is an opportunity for healing.

So, If you’re dealing with aches and pains that don’t seem to go away I encourage you to look within.

You’ll be amazed at what you find....

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

In 2020, I was gearing up to sue New York State. Our business was being forced to close. Police and inspectors were showing up if we tried to open. We were running our business through Zoom and bleeding money everyday. I had just joined this group of fellow business owners who were putting together a law suit against the state.

After a few days in the group, I left. The majority of conversation was all about fear. Or complaining and crying about their circumstances. The leader of the movement was recommending everyone stay closed and wait for the state to lift the order. Each day a new business would post their sob story of closing their doors.

I’m a believer that you can rise above or get buried below.

So, I opened my doors against ‘orders’. We were attacked online. Fined thousands by the state and accused of all sorts of crazy claims. But, we stayed open anyway. Serving out clients in the most positive way. We hosted community events, online concerts and a variety of fundraisers. While the others in the group sat down and complained...we shut out the noise and pressed on.

In the end, we kept every team member throughout the ‘covid era’. We maintained a healthy profit despite losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. We never paid a dollar in fines....

We rose above.

Sadly, the majority of the businesses in that group closed their doors. They were buried below.

This is a great example of utilizing the principle of vibration and rhythm. Although I didn’t know it at the time.

You can think of principle of rhythm as a pendulum that swings.

It swings between the two poles of opposites. I’m sure you can think of a time when you were extremely happy and joyful that was subsequently followed by a crash into unhappiness. This pendulum swings between mental states and moods. However...

You can overcome it if you understand it.

Last week, I mentioned the map of consciousness developed by David Hawkins. Here it is again for reference:

The energetic log that is measured here can be thought of as vibration. The higher states vibrate at a higher level than the lower states. When you’re embodying the authentic Self/Soul you rise into the higher levels of consciousness. The levels within the spiritual paradigm.

These levels exist above the pendulum.

So, while the pendulum is still swinging below you can overcome it’s effects by embodying the states above it. This doesn’t stop the pendulum or make someone ‘immune’ to it because you can still fall below. But, it allows you to rise above it’s effects.

Which is where the hard steps come in...

Awareness - Clarity - Action - Change.

If you’re not aware of these universal laws.

If you’re not clear on these different states in yourself.

You won’t be capable of focusing your attention on changing them. If you can’t focus your attention within...

You won’t be able to generate enough Will (effort) to take action to change and rise above.

Therefore...

You will continue to fall victim to your circumstances. Or worse...the will and desire of others.

The ‘covid era’ was a great example of what happens when people become overwhelmed with fear. And...when that fear is generated and proliferated by another.

It can become paralyzing. Even when you know something isn’t right or doesn’t make sense. Fear can cause you to talk yourself into believing it. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Apathy. They can all drag you down into the swing of the pendulum more and more.

Which is why authenticity and trust for your Self is one of the hardest steps. The immense pressure without keeps you distracted from going within. It can keep you in the path of the pendulum.

This is how I see our politics these days...

One side swings the pendulum to rile the other and vice versa. Back and forth it goes creating emotional chaos for everyone in it’s path.

Those who KNOW -- Rise above it.

While the rest look on in awe saying “How do they stay so calm?” or “How could they not be angry about what I’m angry about”.

This is why ‘energy’ is the foundation.

If you’re stuck vibing at a level of 100 (Fear) you will never be able to see what’s possible at the level of 200 (Courage) let alone 400 (Reason).

The only way is to take the hard step and rise above.

The Integration

The hard steps show up in every aspect of your life. They’re often the ones that yield the greatest result or most leverage. They’re the BIG Needle movers.

Which is why they’re hard…that’s nature. The ripest fruit is found at the top of the tree. Not the bottom.

Right now, there’s a hard step you’ve been avoiding and one you need to take.

Maybe in business it’s the tough decision to let someone go or make the leap for the big hire. At home it could be a conversations you’ve been hiding from or a reconciliation you’ve been waiting for.

Whatever it is…On the other side of that hard step is what you truly Desire.

You just need to generate the Will to take it.

I hope these words will help

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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References:

Alex Jinich-Diamant, Sierra Simpson, Juan P. Zuniga-Hertz, Ramamurthy Chitteti, Jan M. Schilling, Jacqueline A. Bonds, Laura Case, Andrei V. Chernov, Joe Dispenza, Jacqueline Maree, Natalia Esther Amkie Stahl, Michael Licamele, Narin Fazlalipour, Swetha Devulapalli, Leonardo Christov-Moore, Nicco Reggente, Michelle A. Poirier, Tobias Moeller-Bertram, Hemal H. Patel. Neural and molecular changes during a mind-body reconceptualization, meditation, and open label placebo healing intervention. Communications Biology, 2025; 8 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s42003-025-09088-3

Dispenza, J. (2017). Becoming supernatural: How common people are doing the uncommon. Hay House

Three Initiates. (1908). The Kybalion: A study of the Hermetic philosophy of ancient Egypt and Greece. Yogi Publication Society.

Wolf, R. (Director). (2019). The mindfulness movement [Film]. Wisdom Films.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

April 24, 2026

If you couldn’t tell…I love language.

The words that you choose have meaning. The way that you use them has meaning as well. The understanding that you have of those meanings impact you even more.

Last week, I discussed how the language of others and internal language from yourself impact your mind, body and soul.

This week’s message comes from a deeper understanding of the words Power and Force.

This Week’s Meditation Message

The mind interprets the world through symbols. It often sends messages that way as well. In the last few years I started drawing. Doodling the images of my mind for interpretation.

This is where a lot of my deeper theories come from and how I build out mental models / frameworks. Thousands of words and detailed explanations can be embedded in an image. It’s taking complexity and transforms it into simplicity. This is how the ancients communicated knowledge that transcends time.

A cool example of this is the Mayan number system. They were able to calculate an infinite amount of numbers, comprehend advanced mathematics and astronomy using only 3 symbols. In comparison, our modern day system requires 10 symbols (0-9) to accomplish that.

Here is what I drew the other morning….

Here’s how you can apply this to the Triad of You on your own journey...

Mind - The Psychological

Think back to a time when you were forced into doing something that you didn’t like to or didn’t want to do...How did you respond?

Assuming you’re an entrepreneur, I’m guessing you pushed back. Maybe even rebelled a little bit? Ultimately, you didn’t like it.

Now consider a different scenario... A time when you were inspired by someone to accomplish something. Maybe even create something. It felt a lot different didn’t it?

This is a simple comparison of the difference between Power Vs. Force.

Power builds. Force destroys.

Which makes sense as to why the unconscious mind does not like to be forced into anything. The Mind creates and brings into action your ideas through the use of Desire and Will. These are real measurable energies. You will create the life that you want in direct proportion to the Desire and Will that you have to create it. Force destroys the will that it has.

Force requires a push which can take immense effort, depending on what you’re pushing. In the mind, this force of pushing often shows up in creating the masks or armor of the false self. The who you think you need to be to ________.

Think of an environment that when you walk into it, you change. In your personal life it may be around a certain group of friends or even family. In business, it may be at board meetings or masterminds. It can be labeled as posturing or positioning. It’s all the same type of force of the mind.

Essentially, holding back true parts of you to display the false parts you believe will be better accepted. Which is where the frequency comes in. You frequently have to force yourself to be something that you’re not. It’s exhausting.

Power invokes a pull. An attractive ‘force’. There is no pushing. Therefore, there is no effort. You can probably think of a time where after someone did something great and was asked how their response is something like “I’m just being me”.

I think of this in with musicians....

The audience looks on in awe at the singer on stage performing thinking to themselves “how does he/she do it” then tries to emulate them in their own life. All while that singer was simply on stage being themselves. Their authentic self.

Watch a clip of Post Malone performing and you’ll see what I mean. He’s not trying to do anything but be himself. His very weird, eclectic self.

When the soul speaks the world stops to listen. If you’re trying to emulate what someone else is doing your soul can’t speak.

Doing something takes effort -- Being something takes none.

David Hawkins research into consciousness and the map of consciousness he created paints the picture clearly.

Force is tied to the life suppressing levels of consciousness and negative emotions. Calibrating below the level 200. The specific emotions that represent force are Shame (20), Guilt (30), Apathy (50), Grief (75), Fear (100), Desire (125), Anger (150), and Pride (175).

Power is above the dividing line of 200. It’s a life creating level of consciousness. It’s proactive not reactive. Originating from a place of integrity. Or in the consciousness world, peace and love.

Power is persistent. Persistence doesn’t stop. It transcends time.

Force is built on frequency, it stops and repeats. It requires an external push in order to generate.

You can see this in the form of the views, policies and ideals that transcend a leaders lifetime vs. those that die along with them. It’s power vs. force at work.

As an example...

Hitler was a leader of force -- look at the darkness he created and forceful impact it had on the people.

Martin Luther King Jr. was a leader of power -- look at the movements he created and the powerful impacts they had.

Back to you...

If persistent power is being authentic self without reservation and frequent force is trying to be who you think you/others need you to be...

...where do you land? Once you identify that I’m sure you can see how it trickles down into the other areas of your life.

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Body - The Physiological

For years I forced myself into wearing the masks of who I thought others wanted me to be. Or, who I thought I needed to be to be ‘successful’. Like a chameleon I would become who I needed to be to get what I thought I wanted. And like clockwork... I would find myself in the same position saying the same three words to my wife.

“I’m so tired”

Last week I shared this...

We call it burnout. Except we rarely see the underlying cause. It’s often attributed to the business...working too hard or not enough rest. We take a vacation then return right back to the grind. And..The endless cycle persists.

Burnout comes from the Mind.

When the intensity of the force gets to be too much the body will force you to rest. Nature operates through consistent gradual change. It does not respond well to force. When you force nature it will react with force.

This is why fake it till you make it doesn’t really work. It’s more like fake it until you break it. Which is where the intensity piece comes into play. The endless cycle of grind, crash, repeat can be seen as an intense push followed by an intense rest.

Consistency always trumps intensity.

Intensity burns hot but fizzles fast. Consistency can go the distance. Over time it constructs patterns. Those patterns can repeat indefinitely.

Nature shows us this difference...

Water constantly dripping on a rock over thousands of years will wear a hole through it, whereas throwing a boulder onto that same rock once might just make it slightly dusty.

It’s in the consistency where real power is found.

We’re aware of this in other aspects of our physiology but fail to connect the dots between the mind and body here. In olden times woman would wear a corset to get a smaller waist. They didn’t start wearing one that was fully tied tight. Gradually, over time, they tightened it little by little.

When you get braces they are adjusted over time as well. The Orthodontist doesn’t go in on day one and crank your teeth into position. They would break. Tension is slowly added over time to move them into position. Then, afterward you’re given a retainer to wear just to make sure they don’t go back.

If you don’t maintain the new pattern then chances are they will go back. A great examples of the Power of a pattern.

Even after 2 years of braces and 10 years of retainer there is still a high likelihood that your teeth will move. If you read the first Lighthouse Letter you’ll remember that the pattern is held in the fascia.

How does this apply to YOU?

It’s called ‘posturing’ for a reason...

The mental energy that you are using to show up in a certain manner that is no true to you traverses the body. This energy creates a certain pattern physiologically to represent the version of you that you’re forcing for the situation.

Think back to the environment example above that causes you to change and show up a certain way. What does your body do?

Maybe you walk a little taller, stick your chest out and speak in a different tone when you’re in those meetings. That all requires physiological changes....

...I imagine that after a long period of time in that specific environment you’re very tired. Am I right?

I know for me that when I would run events, host workshops an speak from stage I would be drained afterward. It felt like I went through an all day workout sometimes.

As you do ‘the work’ and release the mental and emotional baggage you’ve been carrying you start to see the masks and armor that was built. The false pattern so to speak. Those patterns are now able to be changed. But...

They require persistent and consistent effort. You cannot force yourself to release the false posture and adapt your true posture overnight. It takes time. If you’ve ever made an effort to increase your flexibility, mobility or strength then you know this truth.

Nature never forces change. It gradually adapts to stimulus.

Final note...

When you begin to release the force and intensity behind being someone else you will find new energy. Because...

Being yourself doesn’t take much energy.

Everything just seems to flow...

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

In 1988, at the final qualifying race for the Monaco Grand Prix Ayrton Senna completed what is considered the greatest qualifying laps in Formula 1 history. Even though he was already in pole position he finished almost 2 seconds faster than any other driver. Including his teammate who was driving the same car.

When interviewed afterwards this is what he said:

“That day I suddenly realized that I was no longer driving it conscious. And I was in a different dimension, for me. The circuit for me was a tunnel, which I was just going, going, going. And I realized—I was well beyond my conscious understanding.”

This is commonly referred to as Flow State.

Duke Basketball coach and former NBA player describes it as: “being perfectly in balance with the curvature of the earth”

Balance = Alignment with your True Self

Balance= Flow State

Flow State = True Self.

Flow State comes from consistency and harnessing the power within...You can’t force flow. The state by it’s very nature means without force. Balance is stillness.

Do you think the first time Ayrton drove a car he experienced flow state? Not a chance. What about the first time JJ shot a basketball? Doubtful.

You may have experienced this before in your own life. Possibly sports. Or doing something you absolutely love. I’m willing to bet that in those moments you weren’t trying to do anything. You were simply in a state of being.

This is what it’s like when everything is flowing.

When you let go of the false identities and allow your True Self to emerge this type of flow becomes readily available. You can quote-unquote step into your power as the internet gurus would say.

Seriously though, you can do it at will.

Which is important if you’re a leader...

Your higher self (true) is one of power. The fake self or masks you wear only accomplish through force. You have to force yourself to be them and act through them.

There is an energy signature with power and force.

One of the questions I often got asked when consulting for other businesses was “how do you get your team to do ______.” Or even “how do you make them do _______.”

I never understood the question.

My response was always “I don’t get them to do anything.”

Just the language of get someone to do something implies force. Making them do something is even more intense force.

Our business was operated on systems with a high level of communication amongst the team. This required a consistent input and response from every team member.

Team members were shown our system of communication and how to operate inside of it. They were also shown the results that it produced for our clients and the efficiency it created for the team as a whole. They understood the what, why, and how clearly. If there was anything that wasn’t clear we would take extra time to help them understand.

Then, we led them from the front. It started with me but over time the leaders in different departments would show the way. There was no force. They were empowered. So, they wanted to follow.

A soldier who is forced to go into battle at the threat of death from a leader thousands of miles away will fight much differently than a soldier who voluntarily steps forward into battle alongside their leader.

But...the leader must step first. Think William Wallace in Braveheart.

Often times when I was consulting for a business that struggled with this concept the core problem was the same -- the Leader wasn’t stepping first.

They weren’t building their team with the energy of Power.

They were breaking them down with Force. And...

If you’re leading from an inauthentic place, hiding away true parts of you and Forcing yourself to show up a certain way -- that energy will be felt.

If you’re in flow and stepping into your Power within -- that energy will be fuel.

The Integration

If you’ve read this far....

Take a second to think back to the leaders that you’ve experienced in your life. How did they show up? What was their energy? Was it one of Power or Force? Who would you follow indefinitely?

I’m guessing you will find it was Power.

Understanding this concept of Power vs. Force can be transformational to yourself, your family and your business.

When you step into your power your kids will be empowered. Your spouse will feel that power. Your team will become fueled by that power. And...

...the friction and resistance you experience will dissipate.

If you’re forcing yourself to be someone you’re not, the friction and resistance will eventually become too much.

It’s very difficult for others to follow you when you’re not willing to follow YOU.

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
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References:

Hawkins, D. R. (1995). Power vs. force: The hidden determinants of human behavior. Hay House.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers last month and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

April 17, 2026

As things begin to open up for you and you make changes in your life that are ‘different’ and go against the status quo, it’s normal for those around you to have a certain response.

The reality is that most people don’t like change. Especially, when they don’t understand that change. They can become very opinionated in their attempt to show concern. Often times these opinions oppose the changes you’re making.

Without an understanding of why/where these pointed opinions come from it’s easy to allow them to infect your mind. This can halt progress. Leaving you stuck in the muck of your own journey so to speak.

The journey back to you is the hero’s journey. And...every hero’s journey has it’s fill of ugly battles in the middle before there is a triumphant finish.

This is how you can better face the battle of what the metaphorical they think or say...

This Week’s Meditation Message

In 2024, I sold my brick and mortar business and closed down my mastermind that I was running. Despite both of them paying me handsomely every single month. Then, I sold a profitable rental property I had just acquired a few years prior.

To the people closest to me the decisions I was making didn’t make sense in their minds. They didn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. And... Since most of the world views success / progress / security through the lens of finances...they were concerned.

This concern often gets communicated in the form of fear.

This is the message that came to me contemplating the topic of the ‘resistance’ that is felt from those close to you when you change.

Here’s how you can apply this to the Triad of You on your own journey...

Mind - The Psychological

There is a scene in the movie Home Alone where Kevin has to confront one of his biggest fears. The basement. As he enters into the basement there is a strange noise that frightens him. He convinced that the noise is some sort of monster growling. You can see and feel the panic rise in him as he gets closer. Until...He sees that it is just the furnace. Immediately, his fear disappears.

This silly scene from the movie depicts a very real Truth for every human.

We fear what we do not understand.

This is why it’s completely normal for the people in your life to fear changes you’re making. It’s your mind that is identifying the changes to be made, not theirs. Therefore, it’s totally understandable that they don’t understand.

I love the saying that the late Walter Russell has around asking for help from someone to solve your problem. He says (paraphrasing) “Why would you ever ask another to help solve your problem? It’s not their problem. It’s yours.”

It’s true.

Quick story...

On the weekend, I take my son to the bakery in the morning to get coffee for me and my wife and a ‘treat’ for us to share. They have all sorts of unique croissants baked fresh every morning. Last weekend, we were standing at the counter ready to order and I selected a passion fruit croissant. Then I hear behind me “Ooohh that’s the only one we didn’t like”. When I turned around there was a woman standing there who said “It’s too bitter”. I’m not sure why she was telling me? So, I ordered it and we went on our way. The croissant wasn’t bitter at all. It was delicious.

It’s a silly example but paints the picture clearly....

Asking another ‘what you should do’ doesn’t make sense in the majority of circumstances. They are not you. They do not understand your thoughts completely. They do not have your desires. They do not have your will. They are not in your mind.

So, it makes sense that when you tell your spouse or family member of your new changes to your life/business etc. -- they respond with “Are you sure you want to do that?”

Or worse...“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Note: This type of response is often coming from their own fears or insecurities. It could be concern for losing you or that they don’t believe they can do what you’re doing and therefore neither can you.

Asking the wrong person for advice can be dangerous...

Language is one of the major builders of your state of Mind. The internal language that you speak to yourself creates thoughts. Those thoughts form beliefs. Those beliefs shape your reality.

Think of the person that you know who every time they make a mistake says “Ughh [First Name] you’re so stupid”. Then, continues to struggle making the same mistake or mental error. Their external language shapes their internal dialogue and eventually the belief is solidified. They have quite literally programmed themselves into stupidity.

When you place the opinion of another over your own their language begins to shape your own internal language. The parent who jokingly tells their kid “they’re such an idiot” when they mess up creates that internal voice saying saying “[First Name] you’re so stupid”.

The boss who loses their cool and tells their employee “You can’t do anything right”. Creates the team member who doubts themselves and needs constant reassurance to take action. They become paralyzed from action...waiting for approval.

It’s these micro moments that shape a dangerous internal dialogue.

There’s a great interview with Deion Sanders where he is confronted with the opinions of others. His response is beautiful, he says:

“What about me would make you think that I care about your opinion of me? Your opinion of me is not the opinion that I have of myself. You ain’t make me, so you can’t break me. You didn’t build me, so you can’t kill me. God established me, so there ain’t... nothing you can do to me.”

As hard as it may be to believe that for yourself, it is True. The opinions of another mean absolutely nothing...until you give meaning to them.

If you’ve been making a major shift in your life or business I hope this can give you some solace in the tornado of opinions that get slung from those close by.

4 Steps To Start Reprogramming Your Mind Today

Write

Write positive shit to yourself.

To break the weirdness, here is a snippet from my Journal:

Take the time each day to empty out your thoughts and get express your mind. Let the opinions fly and emotions unravel.

This empties the baggage.

Then, fill that vessel up with positive words. Encourage yourself. Congratulate yourself. Reframe your mistakes as lessons.

Use the power of your word.

Speak

Say positive shit to yourself. Right now. Do it.

To break the weirdness, here’s an affirmation I’ve used countless times to embody my confidence before stepping onto a stage.

I am calm.

I am strong.

I am confident.

I am powerful.

These words have specific meanings to me and I believed I embodied them. That’s the key to positive words you speak. You have to actually believe it.

You can’t affirm your way to become something.

You can only affirm that you are something with words and prove it with behavior.

What’s interesting is that affirmation was based on my mask at the time. It has evolved multiple times as I have myself.

Currently, it reads slightly different:

I am calm.

I am clear.

I am ME.

I am here.

Each one of these words and the order of the words have specific meaning to me. The unconscious mind reads learns through symbolism. The more symbolic the language that you speak to yourself, the more powerful it’s effect will be.

Correct

Stand up for YOU.

Yes, the True version of yourself that is most likely hiding away.

Give them a voice and speak their opinions. This doesn’t mean to do it at the expense of other’s emotions or dignity. It means to express your beliefs and don’t others stomp them.

As an example, my son is very similar to me in the way he engages in playing. He likes to watch, learn, interpret then engage.

Sometimes a parent will say “Oh he’s a little shy”.

To which I kindly respond, “No, he’ is not shy. He is just a little curious and likes to figure things out first.”

No one has the right to place a label over you, except you. If you’re a parent, I’d also say it’s your duty to defend your children from those labels as well. Until, they are emotionally mature enough to defend themselves.

Connect

Your unconscious mind listens to your directives. It also communicates it’s needs.

Connect with your inner voice. Listen to your intuition. Take notice of those gut feelings. The changes in energy or emotion matter. Pay attention. Get present.

The more present that you are the more you will be able to Listen.

That’s where the Law of Listening comes into play.

The Law of Listening — The more that you listen here, the more you will be capable of hearing here.

Implementing these 4 steps will start the process of reprogramming your mind. With each step that you take you will find that you find yourself, sitting with yourself here, listening to yourself more often. That’s the Key…

Presence.

That is the key.

Once YOU get here, YOU can unlock ALL the doors to your dream future.

That language that you hear, if heard often enough and from the right person can manifest itself in the body too...

What’s the language that you’re hearing externally, that you need to ignore?

What’s the language that you’re hearing internally, that you need to change?

Get Your Copy Now

Body - The Physiological

I often think of the nicknames that some kids had growing up and how that effected them later on. Weird, I know...but...I think it’s interesting…I know the negative impact that language can have on identity with the nickname of ‘man boobs’ in Junior High. And...the defensive nature that my body took on as a result.

I think of one kid that was nicknamed by the hockey team as ‘Dirt’ because of some inside locker room joke. I’m guessing it was around cleanliness based on the name? Knowing what I know now. I wonder what the impact of being called “Dirt” would have on the unconscious mind and the body. Constantly, being told that it’s dirty.

An interesting pattern I noticed among one of my adult family members was the recurring first words of “Awwwww you are so tired” every time they saw a child.

I can’t help but wonder if that played into why her daughter struggled so much with fatigue and always feeling tired. No matter how much rest she had.

The impact of language and even belief on physiological and biological responses is well documented...

In 1999, Dr. Masaru Emoto conducted a series of powerful experiments testing the effects of human language and thought on water molecules. The results that he discovered were nothing short of amazing. He discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts/language are directed toward them.

In his experiments, he would expose water to different human thoughts, words, music, and emotional environments. He then froze the water and photographed it’s crystalline structure.

What he discovered can be seen below in the following images:

Dr. Emoto also conducted another experiment using Rice.

He had 3 jars containing the same amount of cooked rice in each. The first jar was spoken to lovingly each day. The second jar was insulted daily. The third was completely ignored.

What he discovered can be seen in the image below:

Pretty wild. Right!?

These studies opened the door to a much deeper understanding of the power of language and thought on the physical world.

Countless experiments have been replicated, some even with plants. Each and every time the results are unexplainable by science.

Surely, if the language that you use can change a water molecule, it must have some effect on the body/mind/brain. Right!?!?

Yup!

In 2004, Bruce Lipton published a groundbreaking book called The Biology of Belief. His work showed how our genes respond to and adapt from environmental stimulus. This was from his original work demonstrating that stem-cells would grow into a type of tissue based on the environment it was in. A groundbreaking discovery for epigenetic.

He also showed that the brain center of the cell was not in fact the nucleus, as mainstream science would claim. It was the cell membrane that was responding to electrical and energetic stimulus received from the environment. Thus breaking the commonly held theory that chemicals are what control the cellular channels and exchange processes.

So…For anyone that took biology before 2015…Everything you were taught about Cell Biology is wrong. Let that sink in.

I’m a big fan of first principles…

If everything we thought about the Cell was wrong, that means that everything about the body is in question.

Including, how your unconscious mind and in turn your body responds to the language that is communicated to it. Lipton’s work goes on further to show the correlative nature of subconscious programming to behavioral patterns. He asserts that 95% of our behavior is controlled by the unconscious.

To change your biology and life, you must reprogram the unconscious.

Modern day science is finally catching up to ancient wisdom. For aeons, the prophets, healers, shamans, and teachers of every civilization and generation have shared the wisdom concerning the power of mind.

Your mind & body are always listening.

You just have to know the proper way to communicate with it.

WIs there a time when you find your body reacting to the external language of others?

What about your internal dialogue? Is there any connection to your health?

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

When you stop and think about all of the mis-directed, mis-guided, mis-aligned language that your mind hears on a daily basis it’s overwhelming. Imagine how overwhelming it is for the innocent child that is your unconscious mind.

It’s overwhelming. It’s confusing. It can be downright terrifying. The pressure forces a decision for safety. A decision to accept some form of identity and move forward because identifying who you really are is near impossible.

Naturally, the ego takes over and drives you in whatever direction your values, beliefs and mental and emotional baggage dictate. And...Your shadow hides from all of the beliefs and values it’s learned are not safe.

Over time this creates the false identity. The online persona. The business mogul. The mask. All hiding the fragmented Self underneath.

This is the Beautiful Genius of Mind.

It will do whatever it takes to serve you and save you.

Even if that means sacrificing you (the false you).

Which is why the journey back to You can be so messy and difficult to navigate. Especially, on your own. The process of soul transformation can be distilled down to 3 words.

Birth, death, re-birth. This is the wave of life.

The Wave of Life journey is distillation of the self-actualization journey that came to me during my own awakening last year. This image here shows The Path that each of us must follow to remember WHO we are, release our True Self, experience Oneness with The One (Source, God, Jehaova, Yahweh, Allah, Insert Deity of Choice) return to Earth and live a life carrying out your True Purpose to Work with Passion In complete Calm, Clarity & Peace.

In my next book, Finding YOU, this concept will be unpacked fully. It would take me a few thousand words to be able to explain each aspect of what is drawn here.

The short version, without the deep psychology / spirituality explanations, can be understood like this...

Our souls enter into this physical world and the power/pressure of the environment causes us to adapt into what is often referred to as ‘small self’ (false you). You can imagine this as who you think you are vs. who you actually are. The who you think you are is shaped by our surroundings, experiences and responses to those.

This is tightly related this to the Ego or Shadow aspects of yourself. The Ego that is looking for dominance and control to acquire a level of significance. The Shadow that has been locked away and begging to be seen but fearful of being seen at the same time. The parts of you that you’ve learned to hide.

At some point, we become aware of these aspects controlling our life and gain the will and desire to change. This leads us on the path to releasing grip they have on our lives. To do that we must enter into the labyrinth of our minds. Which consists of a series of psychological ‘battles’ and understandings that arise as a result of completing them. It is the hero’s journey...

Along the way we gain clarity into who we truly are and the shackles are released. When all the chains have fallen and we exit the labyrinth or True Self is revealed.

Then we can carry out our life in alignment with our true purpose. This is the same concept I mentioned last week with completing your personal task -- learning the lesson -- then going on to pursue your world task.

You’ve seen this before with people in your life who have a major change of direction. They let go of relationships, careers and even financial success. If you don’t know someone personally then think of that celebrity who disappears from stardom and then return with a totally new perspective. Hint: they are most often deemed crazy and judged profusely. I think of people like Jim Carrey, Shia LeBeouf or Dave Chappelle to name a few.

In a very simplistic sense, they are letting go of the labels that have been placed on them from the outside world. They are rediscovering who they really are ‘underneath it all’ . Or as Jim Carrey said “Jim Carrey is just a character I play”...I got famous to let go of Jim Carrey”

When you let go of the character you’re playing you’ll be amazed at how much changes in your life. It’s a completely different reality. A new experience.

Is there an identity you've allowed yourself to falsely accept?

The Integration

As an entrepreneur we’re faced with immense amount of pressure externally. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So, that external pressure is met with an equally powerful internal pressure.

This internal pressure forces us to wear masks, build armor and hold up the fortress of success that we’ve built. Too much pressure over time will eventually cause a container to burst.

We call it burnout. Except we rarely see the underlying cause. It’s often attributed to the business...working too hard or not enough rest. We take a vacation then return right back to the grind. And..The endless cycle persists.

It’s only when we realize that it’s not the business that’s burning us out but rather the version of ourselves we built to grow it in the first place -- that we can finally end the cycle.

If you’re finding yourself in that endless cycle of burnout and are tired of the masks, the facades and war underneath it all -- Finding ME will help you to open the door.

If you’re already on your journey and are facing the fearful language of those around you. Try the exercises above to see if that helps drowned out the noise. Either way, keep on moving forward. And...

As always, if you need a hand feel free to reach out.

Talk soon,

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
​
​Paid​

Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Emoto, M. (2004). The hidden messages in water. Atria Books.

Lipton, B. H. (2005). The biology of belief: Unleashing the power of consciousness, matter & miracles. Mountain of Love/Elite Books.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers last month and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

April 08, 2026

The unconscious mind interprets the world through symbols and patterns.

Everything you experience is a symbol for the mind. There are profound insights that can be found when you stop and allow yourself to interpret it.

Some of my most powerful meditation messages come to me with eyes wide open.

Once again, Disney world provided me the theater to learn…

This Week’s Meditation Message

I was sitting on the balcony of our hotel while the rest of the family napped. As I watched people line up in the garden to take a picture in front of this metal Mickey statue this is what came to me…

This insight isn’t just specific to Disney…it happens everywhere.

I think of the Wings 🪽 mural in Nashville. Where girls will wait in line for hours to take a pic for the gram in front of the wings…

I’m sure you can think of many other spots where you’ve seen this play out.

What’s even more strange is that they’re often frustrated while waiting…to take a picture of a moment they didn’t even experience fully.

This is the world that we live in now. It’s more important to document life than it is to live it. Again..strange…no?

In business, entrepreneurs wait in a different type of line. This line exists in the mind…

Mind - The Psychological

My son and I watch ‘Pooh’ every morning as he eats his ‘manna’ (read: banana) before I leave the house for the coffee shop to write.

The character Rabbit is a great example of what this line looks like played out. There’s a specific scene that comes to mind where all of the characters are dancing around dressed up as Tigger having fun. Rabbit bursts through the door and starts screaming “How can you all be having fun when there is so much work to do”. Then, proceeds to list off the to-do list of tasks to be completed before winter.

This reminds me of the mind ‘line’ that gets drawn for the entrepreneur.

Waiting to ‘have fun’ and experience the joy of life until after they’ve ‘made it’ and have their proof…the record of their moment. Then, and only then, can we let loose and have fun. Or worse...waiting to do what you really want to do or feel called to do.

It’s not always like this…But…I feel like it happens for everyone at some point when you’re constantly grinding and climbing your mountain of success. Especially when there’s an avalanche.

I still remember the exit interview with a team member who shared some feedback that opened my eyes, they said “I feel like it used to be fun to work here and I missed out”

This was right after COVID knocked us off the peak of our mountain and we were climbing back up. To put it simply, I was all business and growth to regain our position. And…In all honesty, I was angry that my plans had been derailed. The focus on fun that we had previously embodied had disappeared.

A great example of how your state is felt by your team.

This is the mental line that we stick ourselves in at some point in our entrepreneurial journey…Then, wait…and wait…for some the wait never ends. They bathe themselves in the belief that life is hard, business ownership is a grind and the fun doesn’t begin until you cash out. Or reach your peak. You can probably think of someone in your life who’s been an entrepreneur their whole life and seemingly hated it.

This is how your beliefs can limit you.

They take over your mind and shape your experience.

Here’s how it works:

• Beliefs are the foundation of your thoughts.

• Your thoughts dictate the language that you use.

• The language that you speak and hear will create the actions you take.

• Those actions that you take repeatedly harden themselves into habits of behavior.

• The habits of behavior that you carry out over time will ultimately mold your life experience.

Translated into real life…

Belief = It’s important to watch the news to stay informed.

Thought = I need to watch the news or I’ll be missing out.

Language = Did you see the news?

Action = Watching the news. Scrolling the feeds.

Habit = Watching the news every morning as you get ready for your day and scrolling the feeds in between sets at the gym on your phone.

Life Experience = A dark and evil world that is to be feared and you must protect yourself from.

This is a very simple example but easily shows how your reality can get shaped by the beliefs that you have. The mental lines that we create are often related to belief systems that we have. And…

Unfortunately, they cause us to miss out on living life.

Ask anyone at the end of life what their greatest regret is and I guarantee it’s got nothing to do with business. The most common answer is related to missing out on experiences or never going after that thing they really wanted.

In fact, there is a palliative care nurse who has documented her experience caring for end of life patients for decades. Bonnie Brae, author of The Top Regrets of The Dying found the most common regret is I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This is the most painful mental line to wait in. The line for someone else to approve of who I am and what I truly want to do. It’s also the one people wait in the longest...

What’s the mental line you’ve created for yourself?

Can you identify the belief that started it?

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Body - The Physiological

When you stop the mind from experiencing in life, it will stop the body from expressing it. As my friend Tony Blauer says, The mind navigates the body.

A couple of months ago I was in a fascial release massage session when the practitioner said something that deeply resonated.

He said “Man, it’s like your legs are jammed into your pelvis. You’re stuck.”

He was right. At the time, I was waiting in my own mental lines.

We’ve been deciding on where we are moving and settling down for the next phase of life. The plan was to move in April. But, we had some family health issues come up that took our focus.

In my mind, the move was the catalyst to taking some big actions towards moving our life forward to the next step. When our plans changed I felt stuck. Stemming from the belief that the move needed to precede actions. Which was not true…

Your body is always communicating the state of your mind.

Think of the feeling you get in your throat when you hold back what you really want to say in conversation. Or. The tightness in your chest when that client you really can’t stand calls.

The Mind interprets the world through symbols….it’s up to you to stop and identify -- what’s the symbolic meaning of signal?

You’ll be amazed at how many of life’s pressing questions are answered from within...when you listen.

Last week, I shared with you how the mental and emotional patterns represent as bodily postures. When you’re placing yourself in the mental line you’re eliciting a certain response in the body.

Sometimes that line may be for experiencing an emotion or processing an experience. There tends to be a belief in entrepreneurship that you need to harden yourself. Toughen up. Get thick skin.

I recently had a conversation with a family member who’s been in the finance industry for 40 years. Unfortunately, he was preparing to start his chemo treatment for a newly diagnosed cancer. When explaining to him the importance of freeing the mind before entering into cancer treatment he said this: “I don’t think I need to process anything, I’ve found a pretty good pocket to keep all that stuff over the years”

He didn’t realize it but he was proving my point. That pocket where you store all ‘that stuff’ can eventually erupt. And...When it does, wreaks havoc on the body.

The Liver connects to anger. Gallbladder to repressed emotions. Kidneys to fear. Digestive system to worry and overthinking. Every organ has a emotional connection.

So, if you’re someone who’s got repeating bouts of kidney or gall stones -- here’s your sign.

Final note...

On the journey of entrepreneurship you go through many major life changes. These can be positive or negative. Either way, they effect your body. They both require and adaptive physiological response. Aka: Stress.

In the 60’s two researchers created what they called the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), which assigns “Life Change Units” to 43 stressful life events. The higher the score the more likely there will be a health issue. Using this scale they were able to predict the likelihood of a major health breakdown.

If you’ve ‘been through some shit’ on your entrepreneur journey it’s more than likely had an effect on your body. Hopefully, this can help point you in the direction to look and listen.

Once you identify it, you can release it and watch your health transform as a result. That’s the benefit of understanding the Triad of You.

What are the repeating health concerns you face?

Can you identify the emotional connection?

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

Remember the analogy last week of the Seed? The energetic blueprint. The original seed is filled with love and joy.

It’s the life force of the mind and body.

Again, think of a new born child filled with pure innocence of love and joy. You can see the expression of that life force in their behavior. Without any beliefs to limit them they never wait in the mental line. So, they’re experiencing far less self-imposed negative emotions and thoughts than adults. And...They tend to be healthier as a result.

Positive emotional and psychological states keep the life force flowing.

When negative emotions and thoughts begin to creep in, they create illness and disease.

Waiting in the mental line to ‘do what you really want to do’ is a denial of Self. The more that you deny that urge the more tension will build with in. More tensions creates negative and toxic patterns.

In the spiritual world it’s believed that we enter into this lifetime with two major tasks for us to complete. The personal task and our world task.

Your personal task in this lifetime is/are the major lessons that you must learn. The environment that you grow up in. The parents that you have. Friends you encounter. Highs. Lows. All of it is an experience for you to learn from.

As an example, for many of you reading I’m guessing that Leadership is part of your personal task. And...

I’m sure if you look back on your life you will see that there were a series of events and experiences that provided you the classroom to become a leader.

When the personal task for this lifetime is completed or learned the soul is set free. This opens the door for you to take on your world task --- The gift you give to the world. That thing that you always felt you needed to do but weren’t quiet clear on what/how.

Freeing your soul makes it crystal clear.

Unfortunately, most people never get to go after the world task. The pressures of the world around us can be too great. They tend to confine us into thinking through the lens of what we ought to do. We get caught up in what others think and then adjust our behaviors to please them instead of us. Aa result, you deny or True Self.

From my own theories on Mind:

When you’re in an environment that isn’t safe/comfortable (values of environment don’t represent yours) there is an external pressure which produces the response of internal pressure in the mind (self-talk, judgment etc.). The unbalanced pressures internally/externally move you farther away from Oneness/Self through fragmentation.

And, as a by-product lose access to the natural resources and Gifts that Self possesses; that are sometimes available and experienced during the state of Flow. The more pressure that exists internally/externally the farther you move from Self. Theoretically, Oneness/Self can be achieved by releasing the external and internal pressures on and in the mind.

Said differently, this is the regret that comes up at death. The feeling that you’ve lived life according to other’s rules and views instead of your own. Because, your own got buried somewhere along the way. It’s actually the #1 regret...

In 2018, Cornell University did a study on biggest life regrets. The most common answer (over 75% of the participants) named a regret related to not fulfilling what their True Self wanted. They had sacrificed it for what they ‘thought they needed to be to please others’.

What are the pressures externally that create internal pressure for you?

The Integration

A lot of the clients I work with privately have a similar goal in mind...they don’t necessarily say mental freedom. It’s more like...

Simplicity.

Then, go on to describe how they can never shut their mind off.

Their business and life has become extremely complex. Too complex for their mind to handle. They find themselves in cycles of stress, sedation and scarcity.

Even though they’ve created financial abundance...

They’ve been in countless masterminds and hired consultants who have filled their mind with great ideas. Unfortunately, they lose sight of their own. Many wake up one day looking at their business wondering ‘how did we get here’?

Often we find at the core of it that they’ve sacrificed something they truly wanted to do in the name of success. They’ve fought against this internal pressure for years...and made it..despite the resistance. Except the pressure still lingers. They may tune it out for a time but it always seems to come back.

Think of it like having a true purpose in life but not following it. It’s something that you just can’t ignore. The irony of this situation is that when they simplify and follow their true purpose they become exponentially more successful. And..their mind is free from the pressure.

This is the effect of waiting too long in one of your mental lines. If your mind and body are calling for your attention and they’re getting louder...maybe it’s time to step out of the line?

I’m here to help when you’re ready...

Talk soon

Ryan

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

Free

The Lighthouse Letter: Subscribe to The Lighthouse Leader​​
​Instagram: @ryan.lighthouse​
YouTube: Ryan Lighthouse​
​
​Paid​

Books: ​Finding ME
Mentorship: Breakthrough Experience Application

References:

Davidai, S., & Gilovich, T. (2018). The ideal road not taken: The self-discrepancies involved in people’s most enduring regrets. Emotion, 18(3), 439–452.

Holmes, T. H., & Rahe, R. H. (1967). The Social Readjustment Rating Scale. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 11(2), 213–218.

Ware, B. (2011). The top five regrets of the dying: A life transformed by the dearly departing. Balboa Press.

Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers in April and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

April 2, 2026

The family and I made the trip to Disney World. It was our son’s 2nd birthday and he loves Mickey. So, we made the trek to meet him in person.

Despite the chaos of Disney, stress of travel and navigating long hot days with 2 kids under 2 -- we had an absolute blast. It was so different from any previous vacation experience that I thought I’d share some insights I found...

The best proof I discovered in the fitness industry is the ‘before and after’...it shows clearly what happens with change.

So, this is the before…

November 2019, I’m in the trunk of a rental car scrambling to get my laptop to connect to my hotspot…

…in the Disney parking lot.

I was frustrated and annoyed because our marketing campaign for Black Friday didn’t launch properly. There was an issue with one of the workflows.

We couldn’t go in until it was ‘fixed’

I spent the whole day thinking about that campaign. Checking my phone to see if the purchases were coming through in between each ride we took.

I wasn’t really ‘there’

Fast forward to last week…

I didn’t even bring my laptop with me to Disney.

Never once worried about the book launch campaign I have running. Didn’t check an email. Didn’t even sneak a peak at a phone while in the park…

…the thought never even crossed my mind.

I was ‘there’ 10000%.

An experience I never knew existed, honestly.

It’s kind of bizarre to experience something you never thought possible. That’s what freedom of the mind is.

Here’s what I learned...

This Week’s Meditation Message

The day before went to Disney I did a meditation to create the experience in my mind first. I’ll explain more about this in detail below but here’s the message...

In a deep state of meditation I did what Walter Russell calls writing your desire on your heart in your mind. This is similar to an affirmation in that it’s a statement to your Self. It’s different from an affirmation in that it is unspoken and felt more than heard.

The best way I can explain it is this: Imagine that you’re making the scene you want to experience and can visualize it in vivid detail. Then, imprint that onto your heart and embody it in every way. The words are merely the representation of the complete visualized experience.

This is roughly what I used (I’ll explain more below)...

This is an example of Self Leadership and how you can ‘Lead’ yourself from within. By creating the experience you desire to have in your Mind. It’s like providing it with a the map for it to follow.

Let’s talk about how you can apply this concept to your life, business and navigating your journey back to you...

Mind - The Psychological

The way that you show up on a daily basis starts with a decision made in the Mind.

Entrepreneurs do this intuitively without even knowing it. The businesses that we create, the offers that we make and the team members that we assemble all began in the Mind.

I didn’t realize this until I started to write Finding ME and piece together my life experiences from the previous three decades. What I began to see was a clear pattern of behavior. I had visualized and then acted out everything that occurred. For me, this applied to not just to business. But, also life in general.

Everything that I’ve ever created was first assembled in the theater of my mind. Then, all I had to do was play the movie.

I can remember someone asking me when our ‘business blew up’ -- did you ever thing it would grow into this? Trying not to sound arrogant, I replied: Yes, because I’ve been here before....in my mind.

This is how I write the desire of my mind on my heart....

The key to this process is creating a movie that is hitting all of the senses. We interpret the world and create our reality through our 5 senses. The more senses that you can stimulate in your visualization the more real it becomes.

When I am in this type of meditation I am spending anywhere between 10-20 minutes creating this movie. The images I’m creating are filled with vivid color and detail. There is sound, smell and even emotion.

I saw my son and I going on the rides together and laughing. I watched my other son in the stroller giggle to my wife as they watched us. I heard the tantrums that would ensue from heat and hunger and chose exactly how I would stay calm and respond with love, never anger. I could feel the warmth of the sun as we walked and heard my wife’s laugh as we talked. I smelled the popcorn on main street and felt the overwhelming joy of creating this experience.

I lived out the full day until bed time.

The Mind does not differentiate between reality and vividly imagined reality. Research has shown that the underlying neural pathways involving perception and imagination are very similar. Scientists discovered in 2021 that it is the signal strength that determines what separates the perceived reality vs. imagination.

Signal strength is the word used for measuring how vivid the imagined image is. When the signal strength is high enough it crosses what is called the reality threshold. By crossing the threshold that imagined movie gets identified as real.

We relate to this most often in sports. Think of the boxer shadow boxing or the race car driver who visualizes every single turn before ever stepping foot on the track.

Our military uses this train fighter pilots...Do a quick google search of Blue Angels Chair Flying. You will see how they visualize and rehearse every aspect of the flight.

You can use this to your advantage and transform your life into the most positive experience. Or. Like most people, you can use this to your detriment and transform your life into a world of fear and negativity.

How much time to you spend imagining and ruminating on negativity? Ya know, those arguments you replay in your head. Or worse, imagining how a meeting or negotiation with a client will turn confrontational and how you will ‘win’.

We do this all the time and angrily say “I knew it was going to go like that”

Did you know? Or did you create it? On the flip side...

How much time do you spend on imagining the positive experience you’d like to have?

It’s just a decision.

Taking twenty minutes each morning to decide in your mind how your day will go will transform your experience....

What's one way you can use the power of your mind show up better on a daily basis?

Body - The Physiological

“Wow, I never thought I’d see you smile”

This was something that I heard relatively often while I was running my first business. My head was always down, grinding away on the computer growing the business. If we weren’t growing we were dying in my mind.

Everyone told me I was so focused.

Well, this focused look leaves a certain pattern in the body. A tense and rigid pattern like your driving in a nascar race. Your body is your psychological and emotional state on display. Which makes perfect sense for where I was at the time...

Since doing the work mentally and making the decision to find me and experience peace of mind, the pattern has changed. I’m told that my eyes are softer. I also don’t experience the same tension and knots in my body like I used to.

The mind and body evolve simultaneously.

The body must be safe for the mind to open and the mind must open to allow the body to feel safe. Like stepping forward with your right foot followed by your left, this how the process goes. It starts with the mind but manifests through the body.

Again, we come back to the Fascial system of the body. The physical blueprint of your psychological and emotional states. A great example I was reading about recently was the startle response in relation to fascia.

Take a look at this picture from Frank Jones’ research with the startle response.

It shows a man standing before and after hearing the audible sound of a gun shot behind him. You can clearly see the tightening and protective fear response of the body.

The Superficial Frontal Line of the fascial system as identified by Thomas Myers in his work on Anatomy Trains creates this. This sheath of fascia runs from the top of the toes all the away up the torso where it wraps around the head. It covers (protect) all of the vital organs of the body that are housed underneath it. Functionally, it creates flexion in the body. Except at the head where the loop around the neck actually creates extension. This keeps the eyes forward in the protective posture to see the threat ahead.

When you are constantly in a state of fight or flight your body takes on that pattern. This pattern becomes your posture. Moshé Feldenkrais, who wrote about the relationship between emotions and the body, said that “All fear is shown through flexion”

You’ve seen this pattern in people you know.

Think of the old curmudgeon who has their head pressed forward, chin tucked down, shoulders rounded over and hamstrings so tight they can’t walk -- they waddle.

Now think of the friend from college (or Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) who’s so laid back they’re walking around with arms wide open. Chest up, head and shoulders back. Eyes wide and a spring in every step.

Those are two very different psychological/emotional profile manifested through the fascial system of the body. Remember, the fascia is the most intelligent communication system in the body. It is creator of life through expansion and bringer of death through constriction.

A simple way to start identifying your own profile is listening the language that your body speaks to you. Where is there tension? What muscles are locked into a flexed state more often than others?

If you can’t feel these sensations then take a side profile picture of yourself....without posturing in anyway. Stand tall and relax. Allow your body to respond to gravity. It is the governing mechanism of everything without and within the body.

What do you see? Are you...

Slouched? Uneven? Leaning? Forward? Rounded? Stiff? Extended?

It all tells a story...Your story.

What is the psychological and emotional pattern look like for your body?

Where you find tension/hyper flexion, ask yourself: What am I afraid of here? What am I protecting myself from?

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

Imagine a time that you walked into a meeting room or maybe into your business and you immediately knew something was off. Maybe it was even a new client that you connected with and from the first meeting you knew something was off.

You might have even said to yourself “This doesn’t feel right”.

How did you know?

Energy. Your sixth sense...

Underneath everything physical, mechanical and chemical operation is a foundation that is energetic. It’s the blueprint. The seed that unfolds into the tree.

That means that your psychological, emotional and physiological patterns have an underlying energetic blueprint to them. Think of those as the trees that grow from the seed.

This ‘seed’ is coursing through your body via the fascial network at all times. The liquid that it resides in also carries every other substance of the body. Waste and toxins from physical material (food, liquid), mental material (negative thoughts) and emotional material (negative emotions, trauma etc.). This is the soil that the seed must grow in.

If the soil is too toxic, the seed will grow into a distorted form. A toxic pattern. Think of pure innocence of a small child filled with love and joy. Now, think of the adult version of that child after returning from a brutal war. Very different patterns exist. But...the pattern of pure love, joy and innocence is still in the seed. The soil has just become too toxic from life experience for it flourish. It gets distorted and results in a negative pattern.

That negative pattern that develops gives off an energy as well. Many times you can see it just by looking at someone. Ever seen someone with a ‘resting bitch face’? That’s a pattern. Even when you don’t see it, you can feel it. This is what you feel when you walk into the room. It’s also what others sense when they come into contact with you...

As a leader, the energy that you give off is one of the most important factors in being worthy to follow. No one wants to follow someone who’s bringing them down. They want to follow someone who brings them up.

This is why it’s so important to take the time to investigate your own patterns. To actually STOP for once and really look into the mirror. Then release the negative emotions, limiting beliefs and misaligned values that created the pattern. These ‘toxins’ manifest themselves into the unconscious mind, the origin of your pattern of thoughts and behaviors.

Going through an experience like the Breakthrough Experience is how you ‘clean the soil’. Cleaning the soil is the way to allow the seed to grow to it’s full potential. Other methods may help temporarily but without cleaning the soil the seed will continue to get distorted.

Final thought....

In this world of energy -- like attracts like. Opposites DO NOT attract. They repel. So, if you’re constantly attracting the negative people that drag you down into your business/life this could be the cause. If you’re always involved in confrontations, maybe you’re the cause?

You can test the effect of energy in real time...

Next time you go to a coffee shop, smile at everyone you see and say hi. Watch what happens...

Answering the questions in the Mind/Body sections will open up the foundational answers for each. One easy assessment you can give yourself is asking these questions below.

What's the energy you're giving off? Is it worthy of following?

The Integration

After writing this I had a call with a client who shared something that connects perfectly.

He’s in the middle of opening his second location and relocating his first for his business. The days are filled with meetings, negotiations and decisions.

He mentioned that on the busy days he feels a lot of tension in his body and the overwhelming feeling of ‘all he has to do’. Immediately after sharing that he said, I can just decide to view it differently. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be exciting.

This is a great example of how all of the pieces of the Triad of You fit together in real life. Big moves in business. Major life changes. Relationships. All three areas are effected..

When you begin to recognize how they are effected you can change them. Improve them. Release the old pattern. Over time that consistent effort becomes adaptation. A new pattern is formed. It takes effort to recognize these things but the payoff is tenfold.

This is how you transform your life experience. By adopting and adapting to new patterns. Healthier patterns. For your mind, your body and your soul.

When the body is safe, the mind is a peace.

When the mind is at peace, the body can rest.

When the mind and body are healthy, the soul is set free.

If you take some time and answer the questions I’m curious to know what you find showing up in your life...Reply back and let me know what you discover....

Talk soon

Ryan

References:

Dijkstra, N., Fleming, S.M. Subjective signal strength distinguishes reality from imagination. Nat Commun 14, 1627 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-023-37322-1

Feldenkrais, M. (2005). Body and mature behavior: A study of anxiety, sex, gravitation, and learning. North Atlantic Books

Myers, T. W. (2020). Anatomy trains: Myofascial meridians for manual and movement therapists (4th ed.). Elsevier.

Thanks for reading. Here’s a few additional ways that I may be able to help you.

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Note: I started sending out this letter to my email subscribers last month and thought I’d publish them here for anyone not my list. If you find value in the Letter, please share it with someone who could use the lessons within. New letters will be published on Sunday…

March 27, 2026

Welcome to the first issues of The Lighthouse Letter.

Each week, I will be unpacking my theories on the Mind, Body and Soul connection -- what I call the Triad of You. The mental and emotional you, the physiological and biological you, and the energetic and spiritual you (I honestly never thought I’d be writing anything spiritual in my life time...I explain below).

When this triad is in alignment you experience your True Self psychologically and what we consider perfect Health physiologically. It is said in the spiritual teachings that ‘illness’ is merely a departure from, and forgetting of, who YOU really are. The symptoms that one experiences in illness is a signal from the body directing you back to alignment.

I’ll be sharing the latest insights I’ve found on my own journey and connecting the dots for you to modern day science and your own personal experiences in business and at home.

This Week’s Meditation Message

Since the opening of my mind to the Cosmic world of consciousness in July 2025 I’ve been navigating some interesting physiological changes in my body...I’ll share more on those later.

In my meditations I’ve been asking for guidance and direction during this physiological evolution. Last week, the answer that I got was simple...

To have patience in navigating these changes and new experiences. To surrender to the needs of my mind and body instead of trying to over power or control them. To trust in myself with what I know and that I’m taking the right steps.

Let’s talk about how you can apply these 3 keys to your life and navigating your journey back to you...

Mind - The Psychological

I was standing in my kitchen overlooking the beautiful sunset in Tampa Bay...halfway through a pint of ice cream. As, I was digging in for another scoop I heard in my mind -- What are you doing? You know this isn’t good for you. You’re going to feel like shit tomorrow.

Then a few moments later another chimed in -- just finish the whole thing. It’s delicious and you’ll feel so much better after.

This was back in 2023 when I was still at war with myself. This is how most days were. A part of me pulling in one direction with another pushing in the other. A constant tug of war. In business, the parts were pulling every which way. Which makes it very confusing to identify -- which one is me?

Which is why it’s important to have patience with yourself.

When you’re experiencing a mental war it can be tempting to try and bulldoze your way through it. Or worse. Sedate it away like it doesn’t exist.

It’s impossible to identify what’s really going on and to differentiate between the truth and your story if you’re bulldozing your way through the day. It can become a jumbled mess.

Think of Truth as reality of You and your story is the perceived reality through the lens of your unconscious baggage. Another way of thinking of this is seeing the ‘story’ coming from your Ego or Shadow.

The theory I’m unfolding for Finding YOU on listening to the stories of the Ego vs. Self here will help show the importance of identifying these.

The Willingness to surrender the Ego into Death, allows for the Eternal Self to be reborn. It awakens for eternity.

The Ego must die in order for the Self to rise. I know it sounds harsh but it’s true. Their must be a willingness to surrender the grip that the Ego has over oneself.

Specifically, it’s addiction to control, certainty, and permanence must die. It’s impossible to be Free with these shackles in place. This process is extremely difficult to go through as it requires letting go of material attachments, identity labels and environments. Old habits, careers, relationships, even body identity may collapse.

My own identity was locked inside of business accomplishments, body aesthetics, and outside opinion. This required tearing down the walls in each one of those domains.

For each acceptance of the Ego’s impulse will result in the Recession of the emerging Self. Aka: Every time you allow your Ego to take control and deny your True Self, it recedes. The Ego strengthens.

An example I often see with entrepreneurs is this...

You come home from a long and stressful day and after getting yourself settled in with the family...your phone pings. It’s a hot new prospect in your inbox who’s ready to take the next steps. At the dinner table you’ve got your face in the phone closing the deal while you’ve got their attention.

Your wife makes a comment to you to the likes of “Don’t you ever put that thing away” referring to your phone time. This is where the Ego chimes in with “she doesn’t appreciate what I do, can’t she see I’m building a business for our family’s future” or something to that effect.

That’s the story.

The Truth is that you would love to be 100% present with her and the kids without getting sucked into your phone to close a deal. But...you don’t yet have the proper boundaries in place to make that a reality. You allow the business to consume you and take you away from what’s most important.

That’s the Truth. And...

Unfortunately, it hurts to hear it sometimes.

When you’re still in that mental war it’s important to learn how to identify the stories of the Ego and dismiss them. In that same respect, as you move closer back to YOU -- you want to listen for the Truth and honor it. Every time you listen to YOU, the ego recedes.

Eventually, the stories of the Ego will be drowned out by the consistent Truth...

What are the stories that you need to be patient with and identify the Truth?

Body - The Physiological

For years I had a constant knot in my upper back. No matter how much stretching or release work I did, nothing would get rid of it. I tried massage, trigger point release and even physical therapy at one point.

Everyday the tension persisted...

It wasn’t until I started to do the mental ‘work’ that the tension started to release. It wasn’t until the I started to do the soul ‘work’ that it finally let go.

My point is that your body is signaling you all the time. It’s trying to point you in the direction of where you need to go. Those signals aren’t always pleasant. But...they’re always present.

For me the tension was my Ego constantly gripping for control and bracing for impact. Think of it like....armor. Sounds cool at first, until you realize what it really is.

That armor is really a collection of the stress and repressed emotions that were stored and stuck within the body.

This why people experience emotional release and more often a state of relaxation post-massage. In somatic body work it’s common to see someone burst into tears or laughter when the physical tension releases. In my recent experiences using the principles of polarity therapy to help loved ones heal, I’ve seen them have emotional releases at the same time as the physical.

There is a great book, The Body Keeps the Score, that dives deep into the science of this topic. I’ve also written an article about this that goes more in depth, here.

The most important point for you to understand with the connection between the body and emotions is -- where specifically is this stored?

It’s stored in the Fascial Network of the body.

If you’ve never take a course in cadaver dissection then you might not realize that the every piece of tissue and bone inside the body is wrapped in a white substance called Fascia.

While modern science has lost sight of the importance of this system (...until recently). The early medical professionals of the 20th century knew...

Andrew Still, the father of Osteopathic Medicine, wrote in the 1890’s that the fascia is the creator of life and bringer of death. He also understood it’s role in connection to human consciousness...more on that below.

So, the fascia innervates every ounce of tissue that you have and is filled with more nerve endings than even the skin. Think of it as the nervous system, in motion. It transports blood, lymph, cerebrospinal fluid and more. Every substance that enters the body travels through the fascial network to some degree.

A recent study in 2024 confirmed this concluding:

The fascial system is highly innervated and rich with blood vessels, lymphatics, and hormonal and neurotransmitter receptors. Given its ubiquity, fascia may serve as a “watchman,” receiving and processing information on whole body health.

Imagine it like the master communication network for the whole body. It KNOWS everything. Physiologically. Psychologically. Emotionally. It also stores the memory of it...

Fascia is a piezoelectric substance, which simply means that when it’s stimulated it is electric. This electrical communication network records every message sent. There’s an electrical memory kept of everything that happens.

This is how your ‘body’ KNOWS what you need and signals to you. You’ve experienced this before with nutrition. Think of a time where you just ‘knew’ that you needed to eat a certain food or liquid.

I’m not talking a craving chocolate. It’s different than a craving. It’s knowing that you needed something that was lacking.

Down below I’ll share with you why it’s not technically your body signaling, it’s YOU.

Sticking with our meditation message for the week...

What are the physiological signals your body has been giving you...that you need to surrender & listen to?.

In entrepreneurship it’s often signaling us to rest. It could also be signaling a need for an emotional release.

Soul - The Energetic Foundation

I was sitting on the couch watching Tool Time with my dad when I was kid when I made the decision to denounce God.

My dad was a go to church everyday type of guy. His family was very involved in the Catholic Church. So, as a kid who didn’t like to sit through mass and questioned everything that was said....When Randy Taylor on Tool Time explained to his parents the logical reason why God isn’t real and he wasn’t going to church anymore, I was in.

Needless to say I wasn’t much of a spiritual person before my enlightenment when I came to understand this...

Mind is not body.

Mind = Soul/Spirit = Electric

YOU are Mind experiencing the world through the body.

YOU experience the world by way of the your Fascial system which is deeply connected to your nervous system and your brain. A two-way communication system for your Soul/Spirit to carry out life’s task to accomplish it’s purpose and learn the lessons required for enlightenment.

My understanding of this came through personal experiences within my body that then researched backwards into history to confirm by others who have experienced similar phenomena.

As an example, Walt Whitman wrote about the ‘body electric’ in the 1800’s. Going back to ancient times the Hindu’s described what they called the life rivers of the body.

I think Andrew Still explained it best with this quote in the early 1900’s:

“The fascia is the house of god that the soul resides in.”

In Finding YOU, I’ll show you in detail what this means exactly and my understanding of how all of these worlds are connected through my own experience. Much like Finding ME, I documented the journey as it unfolded.

Ok, the fascia. The knots in your muscles are blocks in the fascia from the psychological and physiological toxins your body is impressed with. These blocks create a ‘winding’ or ‘twisting’ of the fascia. You’ve probably heard someone say to someone else before “You’re so tightly wound” -- It’s true. That’s what happens

Modern day science is getting a better understanding of this people like Thomas Mayers and his Anatomy Trains theory where he has mapped the lines of communication that are found in the fascia. Hundreds of massage/physical therapists get certified in this system every year. If you’v ever had this type of massage then you probably have felt the unwinding.

How does this tie in psychologically?

At some point you’ve experienced uncomfortable situations and feelings about yourself. Maybe you tried to ‘put that part of you away’ so to speak. That manifests as a wall in the mind and block in the body.

I like the analogy of ‘the wall’ that Barbara Brennan uses to explain this...

When you block that part of yourself that you don’t like you create a wall. That wall is protecting you from the feelings / experience that makes you uncomfortable. We often think we have ‘power over’ those parts by blocking them. What we’re really blocking is the power within.

This is the goal of Finding ME, to help you identify the blocks and walls that have been created. So, you can integrate all of those parts of yourself and return to ‘whole’. This is your True Self. When integrated the internal conflict ceases.

The walls that you build psychologically can manifest physically in the body. That ‘armor’ you’ve built shows up as muscle knots and achy joints. You can think of releasing the blocks in the body as tearing down the walls you built over time in your mind. It’s not a 1:1 equivalent but they’re connected for sure.

This is where Trust comes in.

Trusting in the energetic YOU. What is it trying to tell you?

This is often referred to as your intuition. That knowing that you have in your gut.

Knowing you’re supposed to end a relationship.

Knowing you need to make a difficult business decision.

Knowing you shouldn’t consume a certain food or drink.

Knowing that you need rest and recovery time.

It can extend beyond that too...

Yesterday, I had to drive about 100 miles round drip for a fascial release session with this specialist that flies in once a month to Tampa. I was going to take my father-in-laws car so my wife could have our big Yukon XL for the kids. Something told me not to take it...today that car wouldn’t start. Good thing I listened and didn’t take it.

What’s something that you KNOW you should/shouldn’t be doing that maybe you should Trust in?

The Integration

This is how the Triad works together.

Mind is the key.

Energy is electricity.

Mind is energy.

Mind is wireless electricity.

Everything physical, chemical and mechanical has an underlying energetic foundation. That energetic foundation begins with the Mind.

Which is why it’s so important to take care of your own. Clean out the baggage. Pull the weeds. Till the soil . Then, plant the seeds to grow the life you actually desire. Only then will you have the will required to create it.

Everyday you choose to listen to the story that you KNOW is true or the story that you THINK is true.

The story that you listen to most will be manifested itself in your body with physical changes. Be mindful of what the lens of that story is...

Accepting a fearful story will result in a negative effect in the body. Accepting a loving story will result in a positive effect in the body.

You already know this intuitively...

Think of that person in your life who’s the doomsday king. They are always sharing the catastrophe’s of the world or others. Shouting at their kids to ‘be careful’. And...Protecting all of their things like their life depends on it.

I’m willing to bet they’re NOT healthy, are they?

Take some time this week to put the pieces of your own Triad together.

What are the signals you’re finding in your body? What are the stories you’re hearing in your mind? What are the lessons that need to be learned?

Then...

How do they apply to your business/career? How does it change how you show up as a leader? As a partner? As a parent?

It’s all connected...

Shoot me a message and let me know what you find....

Talk soon

Ryan

References:

Brennan, B. A. (1987). Hands of light: A guide to healing through the human energy field. Bantam Books.

Slater AM, Barclay SJ, Granfar RMS and Pratt RL (2024) Fascia as a regulatory system in health and disease. Front. Neurol. 15:1458385. doi: 10.3389/fneur.2024.1458385

Still, A. T. (1910). Osteopathy: Research and practice. Published by the author.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Whitman, W. (1855). Leaves of grass. Self-published.

In this episode of The Lighthouse Podcast, I sit down with combat veteran turned business strategist JR Spear—founder of CREED Consulting and Business Leaders Network. From leading on the battlefield to mentoring high-level entrepreneurs, JR has lived the full spectrum of what leadership requires: clarity, courage, and consistency.

We dive into:

✅ The shift from survival to significance

✅ What separates entrepreneurs who hustle from those who lead

✅ How JR turned pain into purpose—and teaches others to do the same

✅ His proven S.T.E.P.S. Framework for building structure, scalability, and success

This conversation is for the man who’s done the grind… but feels called to something deeper.

🎧 Listen now and reignite your vision.

👉 Want JR’s free guide on events? Visit: https://bit.ly/44nhaPt

#TheLighthousePodcast #VeteranEntrepreneur #VisionaryLeadership #MasculineIdentity #EntrepreneurEvolution #psychology #personaldevelopment #highperformer #highperformance #selfdevelopment