<![CDATA[Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser]]>https://themossadil.substack.comhttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7Adj!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F249a7ec5-2969-42bd-bf75-fd239c9b67ee_1280x1280.pngInside TheMossadIL’s Space Laserhttps://themossadil.substack.comSubstackWed, 02 Sep 2026 14:27:11 GMT<![CDATA[We’re expanding operations on YouTube.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/were-expanding-operations-on-youtubehttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/were-expanding-operations-on-youtubeSun, 23 Aug 2026 18:15:44 GMTLaser shark protection.
Reduced space-laser exposure.
Priority consideration for comfortable picnic weather.

Subscribe here:

https://www.youtube.com/@themossadil

We have more original videos coming.

Benefits activate immediately.

Weather permitting.

Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

]]><![CDATA[We Admit It. We Stole Arab Food.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-admit-it-we-stole-arab-foodhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-admit-it-we-stole-arab-foodSat, 22 Aug 2026 19:01:11 GMTIsraelis are constantly accused of stealing Arab food.

Fine. We admit it.

After an exhaustive internal investigation, we can now reveal how Jews from Iraq, Morocco, Yemen, Egypt, Syria, Tunisia and elsewhere smuggled these closely guarded culinary secrets into Israel.

The operation involved suitcases, covert surveillance, several highly trained agents and the most dangerous adversaries the Mossad has ever encountered:

Jewish grandmothers.

Some visuals in this satire were created with generative AI.

Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

]]><![CDATA[Shut Down Algebra. Tucker Carlson Knows.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/shut-down-algebra-tucker-carlsonhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/shut-down-algebra-tucker-carlsonWed, 19 Aug 2026 05:00:35 GMTSome ultra-Orthodox schools use a different symbol for addition because the plus sign looks like a cross. That is a real, small, mildly weird fact.

It is not ISIS. It is not a plot against American Christians. It is not what your tax dollars are funding. The program costs us about fourteen shekels a year in Sharpies.

In seventy-six seconds, a niche classroom custom became a civilizational emergency. We cannot make that leap without a helicopter.

Please stay away from long division. That one actually is classified.

Watch the briefing.

Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

]]><![CDATA[We Put Trump’s 15-Point Gaza Plan Through the Mossad Spreadsheet]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-put-trumps-15-point-gaza-planhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-put-trumps-15-point-gaza-planTue, 11 Aug 2026 14:48:51 GMT

Israel has rejected peace again. Look at us.

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We have the ability to scramble a kid’s brain with 5G towers to make him say he doesn’t want to work for Jews, so why not this?

The headline right now is: Netanyahu rejected Trump’s Gaza peace plan. Therefore Israel doesn’t want peace.

Never mind the fifteen actual points in the plan between those two statements…

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]]><![CDATA[The Battle of the Owen(s)es]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-battle-of-the-owenseshttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-battle-of-the-owensesTue, 28 Jul 2026 22:08:27 GMT

The horseshoe theory says the far left and far right eventually bend toward each other.

Usually this is discussed in political-science lectures.

Today we are testing it with blood libel.

On the far left, we have Owen Jones, a British columnist whose coverage of Israel routinely begins with the most grotesque allegation available and works backward from the…

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]]><![CDATA[We Now Have Gold-Plated Operation Grim Beeper Collectible Medals!]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-now-have-gold-plated-operationhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/we-now-have-gold-plated-operationMon, 27 Jul 2026 19:17:21 GMT
Click this picture with both hands for a surprise!

We made gold-plated Operation Grim Beeper Collectible Medals!

For the first collectors in the world, the price is $199 for this extraordinary handmade batch.

After those are gone, the price goes up.

This is a limited-edition, gold-plated metal display piece inspired by Operation Grim Beeper, made for collec…

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]]><![CDATA[Mayor Mamdani Accidentally Recognizes Jewish Indigeneity to Jerusalem]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/mayor-mamdani-accidentally-recognizeshttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/mayor-mamdani-accidentally-recognizesThu, 23 Jul 2026 21:19:27 GMT

It has been a difficult week at City Hall.

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Zohran Mamdani has had quite a week.

First, the mayor of New York announced that Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal, is not welcome in his city, and should be arrested if he arrives for the United Nations General Assembly.

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]]><![CDATA[AP-NORC Survey Says Thirty Percent of Jewish Households Were Hit by Antisemitism.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/ap-norc-survey-says-thirty-percenthttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/ap-norc-survey-says-thirty-percentSat, 18 Jul 2026 20:41:04 GMT
Kippah: off, Necklace: hidden, Synagogue route: planned in advance. God bless this country.

America has received its latest antisemitism performance review, and the results are excellent if the objective was to make Jews remove their jewelry.

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A new AP-NORC survey found that three in ten Jewish Americans say they or someone in their household experienced p…

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]]><![CDATA[...And Then The Alligator Said "We Don't Serve Jews"]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/and-then-the-alligator-said-we-donthttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/and-then-the-alligator-said-we-dontMon, 29 Jun 2026 20:31:29 GMTSubscribe now

A Zionist Jew and an anti-Zionist Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says: “We don’t serve Jews.”

That’s not a joke. That’s what just happened at the San Francisco Trans March on June 27, 2026.

State Senator Scott Wiener, out gay, Jewish, longtime LGBTQ+ champion, Pelosi-seat candidate, the guy who has shown up to Trans March for 22 years, got surrounded,…

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]]><![CDATA[Palestinians Have the Fastest Paramedics on The Planet]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/palestinians-have-the-fastest-paramedicshttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/palestinians-have-the-fastest-paramedicsWed, 27 May 2026 14:48:58 GMTSubscribe now

AMAZING! SUPER SPEED! FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET!

Watch these timeless classics:

Palestinian man swings and falls… paramedics materialize in 2 seconds!

Boy takes a tumble… same instant magic!

Old man hits the ground… cavalry ready in seconds!

All perfectly filmed from the ideal angle, of course 😂

The Palestinian real superpower isn’t rockets… it’s the world’s fastest, most prepared “spontaneous” medical emergencies 🚑

Which one is your all-time favorite?

Vote in the poll below!

#Pallywood

Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

]]><![CDATA[Ben Gvir, the Flotilla, and the Difference Between Strength and Theater]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/ben-gvir-the-flotilla-and-the-differencehttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/ben-gvir-the-flotilla-and-the-differenceThu, 21 May 2026 09:22:10 GMT

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There’s something a lot of people on our side still do not understand about modern activism:

Marshall McLuhan famously said “the medium is the message”. This is the pro-Hamas version: The spectacle IS the objective.

The flotilla people were not trying to militarily defeat Israel with a yacht full of influencers, activists and emotionally unstable livestre…

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]]><![CDATA[HELP US HEAL THE SOUTH! Rebuilding After October 7: Why Rimon Farms Matters]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/help-us-heal-the-south-rebuildinghttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/help-us-heal-the-south-rebuildingWed, 20 May 2026 13:01:00 GMT

HELP UP HEAL THE SOUTH!

Recently I joined a very important campaign that helps the residents of Southern Israel, near the Gaza Envelope and the Negev deal with trauma and loss. They have helped treat over 10,000 PTSD patients and teens at-risk.

Long after the headlines faded, thousands of people are still living inside the aftermath of October 7: PTSD, ad…

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]]><![CDATA[The Ultimate Mossad Dog Leak]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-mossad-dog-leakhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-ultimate-mossad-dog-leakSun, 17 May 2026 15:33:56 GMT
Image

We at the Mossad haven’t created a new substack in a little while due to our previous commitments of making sure Tucker Carlson never has a hot shower.

We know over the past few weeks there has been much talk of Mossad trained dogs doing Mossad trained stuff.

Because of the overwhelming demand we have decided to declassify all our Mossad dog operations r…

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]]><![CDATA[I made a video about Jewish supremacy.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/i-made-a-video-about-jewish-supremacyhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/i-made-a-video-about-jewish-supremacySun, 03 May 2026 20:28:35 GMT

]]><![CDATA[The Outrage Wars: One Idiot With a Hammer vs. 400 Kidnapped Nigerian Christian Girls]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-outrage-wars-one-idiot-with-ahttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-outrage-wars-one-idiot-with-aTue, 21 Apr 2026 16:23:58 GMTAlright, degenerates and outrage farmers of the world – it’s your favorite Mossad-adjacent satire account here, and yes, I’ve been sitting on this one like a Hezbollah tunnel full of expired Iranian missiles.

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I saw the photo of that IDF soldier in Debel, South Lebanon, taking a sledgehammer (or axe, whatever) to a Jesus statue like it personally owed him…

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]]><![CDATA[When Israeli Flags Attack! ]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/when-israeli-flags-attackhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/when-israeli-flags-attackTue, 21 Apr 2026 06:59:22 GMTHere are 3 separate moments (that I know of) someone attempted to deface an Israeli flag, and the flag won.

Inside TheMossadIL’s Space Laser is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

]]><![CDATA[Dan in the Yishuv, Week Two: Momentum Without Resolution]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/dan-in-the-yishuv-week-two-momentumhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/dan-in-the-yishuv-week-two-momentumMon, 13 Apr 2026 19:35:34 GMT
“The Comfortable Villains” (Editorial Cartoon) Foreground: * Mussolini, exaggerated villain style * Overweight, arrogant posture * Boots up on the table * Smoking a cigar, blowing smoke toward the diplomats * Smirking, completely relaxed * Hitler sitting nearby * Thin, sharp, angular face * Sinister expression * Calmly petting a large, snarling German Shepherd * The dog is the aggression, he’s the control Center: * A long table labeled something like: “League of Nations” * British/French diplomats: * Papers, teacups, looking concerned * One writing notes * One adjusting glasses * Nobody doing anything Background (IMPORTANT ADJUSTMENT): Instead of explicitly showing Jews with yellow stars (which is what triggered the block), do this: * Silhouettes of civilians fleeing * Suitcases, long lines, people walking away * Smoke, fire, destruction in the distance * Maybe barbed wire imagery subtly worked in Why this works: * Still clearly shows persecution + escape * Avoids explicit depiction that triggers the system * Actually feels more editorial and less literal, which is stronger 🎯 Optional Details to Elevate It * One diplomat whispering: “We should issue a statement.” * Mussolini knocking over a globe with his boot * Hitler’s dog snarling directly at the fleeing figures in the background * A paper on the table titled: “Sanctions Proposal (Draft #47)” 🧠 Why This Is Better (Strategically) You’re not losing anything by removing the explicit yellow star detail. In fact: * It becomes more timeless and shareable * Less likely to get flagged or throttled * More in line with 1930s editorial cartoons, which relied on symbolism And most importantly: It still perfectly captures your theme: The bad guys are getting comfortable. Because nobody is stopping them.

This is a summary of week two following Dan in the Yishuv. An account where we follow the daily observations of Dan who lives in Tel Aviv in 1936. In real time, 90 years ago.

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Everyone Sees What’s Happening. No One Stops It.

If the first week hinted at instability, the second makes something clearer: events are not isolated. They are beginning to connect.

N…

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]]><![CDATA[Social Media Companies Can Stop Antisemitism Now. Here's How.]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/social-media-companies-can-stop-antisemitismhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/social-media-companies-can-stop-antisemitismThu, 09 Apr 2026 15:04:33 GMT

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Bottom line: I want antisemitism to stop. Not reduced, not managed, not endlessly explained away. Stopped.

So I did something a little different. I asked AI to compile a serious, research-based report on a very specific question: what would it actually take for social media companies to stop fueling antisemitism? Not censor it, not issue another polished…

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]]><![CDATA[Dan in the Yishuv, Week One: The Stage Where People Still Say “It’s Not That Serious”]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/dan-in-the-yishuv-week-one-the-stagehttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/dan-in-the-yishuv-week-one-the-stageMon, 06 Apr 2026 12:02:07 GMT

Just over a week ago I opened a new account on X called Dan in the Yishuv. An account where we follow the daily observations of Dan who lives in Tel Aviv in 1936. In real time, 90 years ago.

Following Dan’s account daily may seem slow, but what he’s building is important. Zoom out and look at the whole week. Soon, we’ll see a whole month. And then years…

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]]><![CDATA[The Iranian Regime Just Accidentally Praised Zionism]]>https://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-iranian-regime-just-accidentallyhttps://themossadil.substack.com/p/the-iranian-regime-just-accidentallyThu, 02 Apr 2026 19:39:52 GMT

First, a little bit about Cyrus.

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Cyrus the Great: The Original “Zionist Problem”

In 539 BCE, Cyrus the Great, king of Persia, conquered Babylon.

He freed the Jews from exile
He sent them back to Judea
He helped them rebuild Jerusalem

Cyrus explicitly allowed displaced peoples, including the Jews, to return to their ancestral lands and restore their temples.

In…

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