In our latest Motherhood Wisdom interview, Estelle shares why returning to work after her first baby reignited her ambition, the advice that stayed with her after taking redundancy and what motherhood keeps teaching this self-described “Type A, Class A stresshead” about letting go.

Enjoy this chat with the wonderful Estelle x

1. On entering motherhood…

What age were you when you became a mother and how did that timing shape your experience of entering motherhood?

I had my daughter when I was 31, which I’m pretty sure is bang on for the average age a woman gives birth. But back then, I already felt behind. We’d started on the path of trying to fall pregnant years earlier before discovering we had fertility issues. We ended up having to do IVF. It’s crazy because at the time I truly did feel like I was entering motherhood late but it turned out to be wonderful timing.

A bunch of my closest girlfriends ended up falling pregnant around the same time as me, and now we get to parent together. It’s been the best thing. I really struggled with my first baby, she was very colicky. So being able to lean on my girlfriends at all times of the day and night was honestly a lifeline during those difficult months.

2. On your children…

Tell us about your kids. What’s something about each of them you hope never changes?

I’m really obsessed with the age my toddler is right now. She’s so talkative and funny and clever. We can have so much fun doing the most mundane things, like doing the groceries. So I hope that’s something we can still do together when she’s older. My son is night and day from my daughter and is generally so chilled out and content. Most of the time he’s just happy to be along for the ride. I could probably learn a lot from him!

Are there any parts of your own childhood you’ve consciously tried to recreate for them?

My mum would always make an after-school snack for me and now that I’m a mum myself I can tell she made those with a lot of love. I like ending a daycare day with a little snack plate that we can nibble on while we talk about the day.

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3. On career and motherhood…

You’ve had an incredible career as a TV news reporter. What was it like returning to such a fast-paced role after having your first child?

I was very nervous about how I would go returning to work after having my first but it honestly was just what I needed. I actually threw myself back into work in a big way and felt way more ambitious than I had in years. Within a few months of being back I was on my first international assignment. I just figured that if I was going to take time away from my baby I might as well make it worth it. I will say my husband took three months paternity leave while I transitioned back to work so that made things a lot smoother at the start.

You’ve generously shared your experience of being made redundant while on maternity leave after having your second child. Can you tell us how that unfolded, how you navigated that season and what it’s taught you?

I’d been on leave with my son for about nine months when I got the call. I was given a few days to think about taking a redundancy, a privilege that isn’t lost on me as I know a lot of women aren’t given a choice. If I’m honest, I’d already been thinking about whether returning to TV news would be the best move with the two kids. And I’d also been contemplating trying something different after being in TV news for over ten years - a lot of the stories we cover in news are really upsetting and it only gets harder to deal with after you become a parent.

It’s now been two months since I took the redundancy and I’m still not sure what’s next. Applying for jobs as a mum of two feels very different to applying for jobs as a young, aspiring journalist in her 20s. I really want my next move to be the right one so I’m having to practice patience and restraint, two things that absolutely do not come naturally to me!

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to another mum navigating being made redundant while on maternity leave?

I have had literally hundreds of women reach out to me since I shared my story on Instagram and one of them said something really simple that has stayed with me: “Remember that it was your job that was made redundant, not you.”

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had any crises of confidence since taking my redundancy. Some days I’m stressed about what kind of value I could offer a new workplace. But I think remembering that even if you take a redundancy - voluntary or involuntary - that doesn’t change your inherent value as an employee. You’re still you.

4. On your mothering experience…

What’s something you believed about motherhood before becoming a mum that you’ve since completely changed your mind about?

As an IVF mum, I truly believed that after everything I went through to have my baby, I would simply enjoy every moment of parenthood. How naive I was!

What’s one lesson motherhood keeps teaching you over and over again?

That everything is a phase. Everything can change. As a Type A, Class A stresshead, I often forget this, even though my kids have taught me this a hundred times by now. Even with my second baby, I’ve spent so many days and nights agonising about sleep, or sickness, or feeding - all for it to just have been a phase. Sometimes there’s truly nothing you can do but wait it out.

5. On you outside of being a mother…

What does me-time or self care look like for you in this chapter? What fills your cup?

I’m terrible at me-time or self care to be honest. My best friend recently booked me into a yoga class and rocked up at my house to drive me there, that’s how bad I am at making time for myself. Any time I have alone I put pressure on myself to be productive so I hardly ever sit still. Even in that yoga class, I was writing a to-do list in my head the whole time. I really need to work on this!

6. On new chapters…

You’ve recently started a podcast. What inspired you to start Mum Brain and what conversations are you hoping it creates?

I really wanted to blend my years of news reporting skills with what actually holds the most of my attention these days: parenting. I am a huge fan of voice notes, some of mine border on audiobooks! So I wanted to create a podcast that was kind of like a voice note between friends but also provided ‘news you can use’ for time poor mums.

Each week I tackle a question, and no question is too silly, and I bring on a mum who happens to be an expert in that field to explain it all. Each episode runs for ten minutes or less because honestly, who has the time?

What does this current ‘season’ of motherhood look like and feel like for you?

I absolutely love the ages my kids are right now and I often find myself watching them already mourning the phase that I’m currently living. It’s clear that I’m their world right now and I love being needed. That being said, I’m not always the most present mum. Right now, looking for jobs and trying to stay on top of my side hustle as a content creator means I often feel really stretched. It’s hard trying to do everything at once!

7. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could go back and give your past self one piece of advice about mothering, what would it be?

You don’t have to breastfeed if it’s making you depressed. You don’t have to pump a bottle of milk every night for dad just because a parenting book told you to. You don’t have to breastfeed just because you physically can.

Fast five:

1. Favourite family ritual, big or small: After my son’s morning nap, we love grabbing a coffee and a pastry, taking the kids to the park, and getting back home in time for lunch. We live on a really friendly street with a lot of kids so my favourite part of our park trips is actually getting back to our street and seeing who is around to play with.

2. Your kid’s current obsession: Playing the same Peppa Pig Yoto card every single day. I could recite every story off by heart.

3. Parenting purchase that’s been 100% worth it: Baby carrier. A godsend in the early months with two under two.

4. Go to easy family dinner: Sushi bowls - rice, tinned tuna or tofu, frozen edamame, avocado, cucumber. Basically all the green things my kids will actually eat.

5. Best family holiday destination: I honestly couldn’t tell you. We are yet to get on a plane with these kids, the thought gives me anxiety! Everyone is telling me it’s only going to be harder when our youngest starts walking so I know I need to rip the band aid off!

Want more from Estelle? Follow her on Instagram for her refreshingly honest take on motherhood, work and everything in between, and tune into Mum Brain for bite-sized answers to the parenting questions we’re all Googling.

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To say I’m proud to have kept this little corner of Substack alive amongst the beautiful chaos that is life as a toddler mum, work and everything in between is an understatement.

While writing the personal stories has been therapeutic, the simple interview series featuring mums and experts has become one of the most rewarding parts of this little project.

Over the past 12 months, I’ve had the privilege of interviewing some truly incredible women, from entrepreneurs, authors and podcast hosts to yoga teachers, doulas and artists. Every conversation has offered a different perspective on motherhood and reminded me there is no one right way to do it.

To everyone who has featured on The Mothering Project, thank you for your support and generosity. And to those who read it, thank you for indulging me!

Looking back through the interviews, I was reminded just how much wonderful advice has been shared so to mark this first anniversary, here are some of my favourite quotes. If one resonates with you, be sure to revisit the full interview.

Thank you for being here.

N x

Adele Bevacqua

Artist and entrepreneur Adele Bevacqua shared one of my favourite reminders for new mums navigating one of life’s biggest transitions:

“Go easy on yourself, none of us knew what we were doing in the beginning and we’re still all making it up along the way. Communicate what you need to your partner, they can’t read minds. And it’s okay to grieve the past while absolutely loving your present and future. You’re going through a big change and the two can co-exist. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.”

Read more from Adele here.

Amy Watson

As a full-spectrum doula and film photographer, Amy Watson has supported countless women through pregnancy, birth and the fourth trimester. This reflection on how motherhood changes us has stayed with me ever since:

“I think we should talk more about how it’s okay - and expected - to change after we have children. We’re not the same as before and we shouldn’t be made to feel bad about that. It can feel uncomfortable though, experiencing these changes as you move through them, so to know it’s an experience many mothers are having can help with the transition.”

Soak up Amy’s calm energy here.

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Lexi Crouch

Author, clinical nutritionist and eating disorder coach Lexi Crouch shared what she hopes her daughter remembers most about the way she mothered:

“I hope that she describes me as someone who never gave up, as someone who embodied softness and strength. Beyond the eating disorder, life has thrown many challenges my way and Mabel has always been along for the ride with me. As a single mum, you are everything to your child and it can be really hard. I want her to know that pretty much anything is possible if you put your mind, dedication and essence into it. She has seen me rebuild time and time again and I hope she sees the beauty in keeping it real.”

Read more of Lexi’s lessons here.

Heidi Melville

Business owner and design lover Heidi Melville shared two pieces of parenting advice from a friend that she says she still thinks about almost every day:

“Firstly, you do you. Secondly, look after your family unit first. This might look like turning visitors away at the last minute because you got no sleep last night. Or prioritising rest and a family movie over a relative’s birthday party. Things you never would have done before, but now you have to, in order to protect the calm.”

Read more great advice from Heidi here.

Kiya Taylor

Writer, researcher and motherhood advocate Kiya Taylor captured the transformation of becoming a mother beautifully:

“Embrace the transformation. Hold tight to the things you value most. Allow your priorities to shift. Find a North Star, and know that you can come back to it whenever you feel unsteady.

Growth is painful, but staying the same can be even more painful in the long run.

Know that time shifts in ways that don’t necessarily make sense, and that all the moments with your baby can be both inexplicably wonderful and hard at the same time. Know that two things can be true at once, even if they feel opposing.

Know that you are infinitely capable of this journey and that the best is just beginning. Know that the journey ahead will be better than you could have ever imagined.”

Dive into Kiya’s reflections here.

Amanda Behre

Career coach and Dear Thrive founder Amanda Behre reflected on what she hopes matters most when her children look back on their childhood:

“I hope they will look back on their childhood fondly. We’ve tried to give them exposure to a variety of diverse experiences, they see both their parents work bloody hard but we still make an effort to have dinner around the table when we can, and cook together. It definitely hasn’t been quantity but hopefully quality time together.”

Read more of Amanda’s perspective here.

Bec Hurley

Marketing leader and self-described sports mum Bec Hurley shared one of the most honest reflections in the series about parenting teenagers:

“Motherhood is currently teaching me to let go and get out of the way. As my kids get older, I realise I’m becoming more and more redundant and our relationship is changing. My overwhelming urge is to protect them from harm, hurt or challenges, but less and less am I able to. And more importantly, they want to navigate these things on their own. I’m sure there are loads of challenges I don’t even know about. This might be the hardest lesson so far.”

Read more of Bec’s insights here.

Stephanie Kyrgias

Pelvic floor physiotherapist Stephanie Kyrgias shared an honest reflection on how experiencing pregnancy herself has deepened her understanding of the women she cares for.

“Applying everything I teach about pelvic floor health, movement and self-care in my own pregnancy has deepened my empathy and given me an even greater appreciation for the physical and emotional changes women navigate during this time.”

Read more gems from Steph here.

Amanda Cobcroft

Professional nanny Amanda Cobcroft shared a beautiful reminder of the trust, love and connection that can grow between a nanny and the families they care for.

“Just as I’m part of their family, they’re part of mine. Every winter I take them on a week-long holiday in the Port Stephens area, where they’ve become loved members of my extended family. We’ve shared many trips over the years, giving their parents a break and giving us all precious time together. It’s a very special bond.”

Read more of Amanda’s wise words here.

Nell Wengert

Yoga teacher and business owner Nell Wengert reminded us that even in the loneliest moments of motherhood, there's comfort in remembering countless other women are experiencing the very same thing:

"You’re not alone. Across the world, countless women are moving through the very same things at the very same time you are. There’s real comfort in that. In the thick of it, it can feel endless but nothing lasts forever."

Get to know Nell more here.

Patricia Higgins

Marketing leader and marathon runner Patricia Higgins captured something so many mothers experience but rarely talk about: the invisible rules, expectations and guilt that can shape early motherhood:

“What I didn’t expect was how much of early motherhood is shaped by invisible rules that nobody officially writes down but everyone somehow enforces. The pressure, the guilt, the sense that you need to ask permission to make a choice about your own body and your own baby, that was the real challenge, not the sleepless nights.

“Once I stepped out of that and started mothering on my own terms, it folded naturally into who I already was. Motherhood hasn’t changed my identity, it has deepened it. It has made me more certain of myself, more efficient, more intentional. And more willing than ever to trust my own instincts over the noise.”

Read’s Patricia’s insightful interview here.

Megan Hangan

Midwife and IBCLC lactation consultant Megan Hangan offered a gentle reminder that every breastfeeding journey is different:

“Breastfeeding is a learned skill for both you and your baby. Even if you’ve fed four babies, you’ve never fed this baby before. It takes time, patience and the right support to find your rhythm together.”

Read more of Megan’s excellent advice here.

Lucinda McKimm

Producer, writer and Ready or Not podcast co-host Lucinda McKimm perfectly captured how motherhood reshapes the way we see the world:

“Motherhood has been both everything and nothing like I expected and it’s changed my relationship to everything and everyone. Decisions feel more loaded, time feels more finite and there’s meaning in literally everything.”

Read Lucinda’s beautiful Q&A here.

Emma Quine

With more than 16 years of experience in acupuncture and Chinese medicine, Emma Quine shared a beautiful reflection on what it means to support women through some of life’s most meaningful seasons:

“I love supporting women through some of the most meaningful moments in their lives. Guiding clients through fertility, pregnancy and perimenopause, physically, emotionally and energetically, and witnessing those transformations is incredibly rewarding.”

Read more about Emma’s acupuncture journey here.

Jennifer Edmonds

After navigating a long fertility and IVF journey herself, yoga and pilates teacher Jennifer Edmonds now supports other women through theirs. Her reminder to honour your own healing feels just as important today:

“Give yourself time and space, in as many ways as possible. Your skinny jeans will always be there, work will always be there but your healing journey and this incredible time of new motherhood should be honoured and prioritised first.”

Read Jen’s great reminders here.

Dr Bronwyn Leigh

Perinatal psychologist Dr Bronwyn Leigh offered a thoughtful perspective on one of motherhood’s biggest misconceptions:

“The idea that a mother is somehow instantly “born” in that intense physical moment of birth can also overlook the enormous psychological work that begins long before birth and continues long afterwards. Throughout pregnancy and early parenthood, many women are slowly reorganising their sense of self, making space internally for this new role and identity. From this perspective, motherhood is less a single moment of transformation and more a process of becoming. And that process looks different for everyone.”

Read more wonderful words from Bronwyn here.

Know someone I should interview next? Leave a comment below or send me a DM on Instagram.

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From Paris to Sydney, Patricia has built a career around some of the world’s best-known brands. When she’s not at work, you’ll find Patricia, husband Brenton and Bradfield planning their next adventure or the three-time marathon runner squeezing in an early morning run.

Enjoy this chat with the fabulous, Patricia Higgins x

1. On entering motherhood…

What age were you when you became a mother and how did that timing shape your experience of entering motherhood?

I became a mother at 35 and I think the timing was everything. By then I had built a career I was proud of, I had lived in multiple countries: I knew who I was. So when Bradfield arrived, I wasn’t trying to find myself at the same time as finding my footing as a mother. I had the confidence to make my own choices rather than following every trend or piece of unsolicited advice. I wouldn’t change the timing for a second.

What does this current ‘season’ of motherhood look like and feel like for you?

Bradfield just started kindy this year and it feels like a real opening up for both of us. He is becoming this fascinating little person with real opinions and proper conversations and I feel like I can breathe a little more and be fully present in a different way. There is more space now and I’m using it intentionally.

2. On your child…

How would you describe your son?

Curious, resilient and quietly adventurous (like his mum). He’s the kind of kid who will walk 20,000 steps through Tokyo without a single complaint, eat a beautifully spiced dish without blinking and find genuine joy in exploring the world around him. He is adaptable in the best possible way because he has always had to be and that has made him exceptionally capable for his age.

What’s a lesson he has taught you?

That children are so much more capable than we give them credit for. We have a tendency to soften everything, the food, the schedule, the experience but when you trust a child with the real world, they rise to it. Bradfield has shown me that over and over again.

3. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

You have an incredible career in marketing. How have you navigated your career alongside motherhood?

My career has always been a core part of who I am, not something I put on hold or scaled back when Bradfield arrived. I work full time as Director of Marketing & Communications at Sofitel Sydney Wentworth, a role that is genuinely demanding and one I love. Before that I spent four years leading marketing for Tennis Australia’s major events portfolio, including launching the ATP Cup (World Cup of Tennis) entirely from scratch as a global sports brand. These are not small roles and I’ve never pretended otherwise.

What has made it work is being very clear about where my energy goes and when. I am present and focused at work. I am present and focused at home. I don’t blur the two and that clarity actually makes me better at both.

Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

If anything it has sharpened. Having Bradfield made me more decisive and more efficient. I have less tolerance for wasted time, which means I move faster and with more purpose. The ambition didn’t soften, it got smarter.

What does me-time or self care look like for you in this chapter? What fills your cup?

My sacred window is 6am to 7am, I’m up before Bradfield and I run or exercise. That hour is completely mine. Movement has always been how I process and reset, especially in a stressful work environment. Some weekends I’ll treat myself to a massage but honestly, that early morning run is what fills my cup. It sets the tone for everything and I protect it fiercely.

What’s been the secret to success in co-parenting with your husband and keeping your relationship a priority?

A genuine 50/50 split and we mean it. It’s not just a nice idea, it’s how we actually operate day to day. When both people are truly equally invested there is no resentment, no scorecard, no one person quietly carrying more. That equality is the foundation. Beyond that, we are intentional about protecting our relationship, we are best friends and partners first and that doesn’t disappear because we became parents.

4. On your mothering experience…

You described yourself as ‘not a regular mum’. Tell me more!

It comes from a very French philosophy of motherhood! The child adapts to our life, not the other way around. From the very beginning I never restructured our entire existence around Bradfield’s schedule. If his nap fell during an errand, he slept in the pram. If we had a dinner out, he came with us and slept in the pram amid the noise. We travelled to Europe when he was 10 months old. He has eaten adult food with spice and real flavour from the start and his palate today completely reflects that, it is nothing like other kids his age.

We ditched the pram at age three and made walking non-negotiable, weekends on foot, always. In Japan recently he walked up to 20,000 steps a day without complaint. I also don’t believe in sitting on the floor playing pretend for hours. I engage with him in moments of genuine learning and connection and then I step back and let him be creative, self-sufficient, and a little bored because boredom is where imagination lives.

What has been the biggest challenge and the biggest pleasant surprise for you in motherhood so far?

The biggest challenge is distance from my own family, having my roots on the other side of the world is something you never fully stop feeling, especially in the ordinary moments, not just the big milestones.

The biggest pleasant surprise has been my mother-in-law. When Bradfield started kindy this year she retired and having her present, engaged and joyfully involved has been an extraordinary gift. The fact that she spent her career as a school librarian is almost too perfect! Bradfield has landed in very good hands.

Has motherhood been what you expected? How has it changed you?

I’ll be honest, the first six weeks were really hard. I had baby blues, a proper dip into postnatal depression and I couldn’t understand why. I was doing everything I thought I was supposed to do. And that was exactly the problem. I was breastfeeding because I felt I had to, because it felt like the only acceptable choice and I was quietly falling apart. The moment I gave myself permission to stop, switching Bradfield to formula and pouring myself a glass of wine, something shifted. Not only did I start to feel like myself again but I could finally sleep knowing he was properly fed and settled. That certainty was everything. I started to actually enjoy motherhood. It sounds so simple but that decision changed everything.

What I didn’t expect was how much of early motherhood is shaped by invisible rules that nobody officially writes down but everyone somehow enforces. The pressure, the guilt, the sense that you need to ask permission to make a choice about your own body and your own baby, that was the real challenge, not the sleepless nights.

Once I stepped out of that and started mothering on my own terms, it folded naturally into who I already was. Motherhood hasn’t changed my identity, it has deepened it. It has made me more certain of myself, more efficient, more intentional. And more willing than ever to trust my own instincts over the noise.

5. On your village…

What impact has having family on the other side of the world had on your mothering experience?

It’s the quiet ache of expat motherhood that nobody really prepares you for. You can build a beautiful life, a career, a home and still feel the absence of your own mother on ordinary Tuesday evenings, not just the big milestones. It makes you more independent, but also more deliberate about seeking connection and building your own village wherever you are.

How did you find your village in motherhood?

Honestly, my mother-in-law becoming such a central presence this year has changed everything. But I’ve also found my people through work, through Bradfield’s daycare, now school and sport’s activities, through simply showing up consistently and being open. Your village doesn’t always look like what you imagined.

6. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could go back and give your past self one piece of advice about mothering, what would it be?

Trust yourself sooner. There is so much noise, advice, comparison, quiet judgment, especially in those early months. But you know your child and you know yourself. The confidence I have now as a mother, I wish I had owned it from day one. Your instincts are right. Back yourself.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age or stage so far: Right now: five. He is a real person and the conversations are everything.

2. Favourite family ritual, big or small: Our walking weekends. No pram, no shortcuts, just the three of us on foot, exploring.

3. Parenting hack everyone should know: Don’t make separate food for your child. They will eat what you eat if you never offer an alternative.

4. Go-to easy family dinner: Fondue party: cheese, dipping, laughing. Everyone wins.

5. Best family holiday destination: Japan. The culture, the food, the incredible safety, it works for every age and every stage. It was made for the way we travel.
   
   Want to follow along with Patricia's career and adventures? You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

I’ve shared before that the anniversary of her death, Mother’s Day and her birthday all fall within a few weeks of each other starting from early May. Needless to say, it’s a weird time of year.

I often post about her on social media for one of the first two milestones, which means by the time June 1 comes around, I feel a bit hesitant sharing again.

Not because I don’t want to, but because grief tends to make people uncomfortable. And as a classic people pleaser, I hate the idea of making others feel awkward.

Not this year.

If Mum’s birthday was any other time on the calendar, I wouldn’t think twice. But there’s something about the proximity to the generous outpouring of support I’ve already experienced recently that always makes me hesitate. And perhaps, if I’m honest, feel a little guilty for the kindness people show me, because I am okay.

Yes, I miss her.

Yes, I wish things were different.

Yes, I would love nothing more than to take her out for a long lunch and pamper session today.

But in some ways the milestones are easier than the ‘ordinary’ days because they’re the moments I ‘get to’ talk about her and have others remember her too.

The truth is, if I don’t shout about her on her birthday, who will? And my Mum deserves to be shouted about.

I’ve never shied away from admitting that grief is part of who I am and it has been since my Mum died. And I’ve written about it often.

As Mia Freedman says, “Somewhere out there, is someone with a wound the shape of your words.”

I’m always really touched when someone gets in touch to say they’ve read something I’ve written here or on Mamamia or social media and I’ve put their experiences into words.

I personally don’t believe that you ever completely ‘get over’ the loss of someone you love that deeply. It changes you. It has changed me and how I live my life in big and small ways and it has evolved over the years too.

So today I’m sharing random memories about my Mum. Because if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you didn’t get a chance to meet my beautiful Mum but maybe these stories will give you a sense of the woman she was.

• She was the eldest of three daughters and absolutely gave eldest daughter energy which, as one myself, I can confidently say.

• Mum worked at ANZ Bank as a teller and when she had a bad day there, she would come home and very loudly play Lord of the Dance.

• She was also very partial to Michael Bublé, Van Morrison, Billy Joel, André Rieu and Frank Sinatra.

• In a time before glass protection screens at the branch she worked at, Mum’s bank was robbed and faced with the robbers literally in her face, Mum shoved the guy away and had some choice words for him. And lived to tell the tale!

• When I was in trouble, she would call me my first and second name or if I was really in trouble, it would be my full name (“Nicole Rachel Gentle!”, for those wondering)

• The sound of me typing loudly at the family computer was like nails on a chalkboard to her, we could certainly push each other’s buttons!

• When she was all dressed up to go out, she would apply nail polish just before she left the house and somehow never smudge it. A skill I definitely didn’t inherit.

• She loved salt and vinegar chips, jubes, liquorice and apple crumble

• She hated fishy smelling fish and always left prawns for us because “we’d enjoy them more” which I now wonder was actually true or just motherly sacrifice.

• Mum was a voracious reader and whenever I see a Janet Evanovich or James Patterson book, I think of how much she would have loved keeping up with the latest stories.

• She loved a cooking show and kept a handwritten recipe book with meals attributed to the names of her friends, family and her ‘mates’ like Jamie Oliver

• Mum cooked and danced up a storm at my 21st birthday despite days in the lead-up of being stuck in bed post-chemotherapy.

• This wouldn’t fly these days but on a healthy lunchbox week in year one, Mum smuggled lemonade into my drink bottle as a surprise!

• She hated merging lanes but loved the freedom of driving and seeing her drive my new Mazda 2 in the last year of her life was a real joy.

• Whenever we came home from a school camp she would cook us our favourite warming meals, the memory of which still feels like a warm hug.

• Speaking of, Mum gave the best hugs in the world, the kind I hope my own daughter will always remember from me too.

So here’s a big happy 75th birthday to my Mum. And sending big love to everyone navigating life through grief - which people wiser than me describe quite beautifully as love that never quite finds somewhere else to go.

N x

And if you haven’t listened before, you’re in for a treat! Together with co-host Lauren Treweek, they bring the perfect balance of wisdom and realness to make working mums feel a whole lot more seen and a whole lot less alone.

Calling the stunning Mornington Peninsula home alongside her husband, son Ray (4), daughter Posie (2) and kelpie Louie, Lucinda’s beautiful interview style and witty banter make her the kind of podcast friend in your ear you know you’d want in your real-life village.

Enjoy this chat with the divine Lucinda McKimm x

1. On entering motherhood…

What age were you when you became a mother and how did that timing shape your experience of entering motherhood?

I was 30 years old when I gave birth to Ray and it honestly felt like exactly the right time for me. I’m younger than most of my friends and I’m the youngest of four kids so I’ve always felt a touch older than I am (although that’s getting less and less true the older I get)!

I also had a lot of fun in my twenties. No delinquent stone was left unturned.

Having said that, I don’t think my age so much shaped my experience of entering motherhood, but I wasn’t even close to being the first in my friendship group to have a baby and that unequivocally shaped my experience. I’d watched my sister in law do it, I’d sat with countless friends as they moved through the tides of postpartum. This meant I wasn’t lonely entering motherhood. I never felt like the only one moving through an experience and there was always someone to turn to; for a mat leave coffee or wine, a four-minute voice memo, or a quick text vent.

What does this current ‘season’ of motherhood look like and feel like for you?

It feels like trying to hold onto water as it gushes through my hands. I’m in the glory days right now and time is moving too quickly. I can’t hold onto it and I need more of it. I need to freeze it so that my babies stay two and four forever and I need it to stand still so that I can work without missing a single minute. It also feels like joy and stress and wonder and love and laughs and childcare sickness and sleepless nights and rainbows and flowers and magic and a warm, full, loud bed in the morning.

2. On your children…

How would you describe your kids?

My son looks exactly like me but with personality traits more like his Dad; he takes some time to settle in, he’s gentle and caring, and he loves to tinker, build things, and go on adventures. My daughter looks more like her Dad but behaves more like me; bigger emotions, a deep thinker and feeler. She talks non-stop and is the opposite of a wallflower. Both love to have dance parties in their bedroom with their Yoto. I love their personalities so much! They’re so different and they adore each other.

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for your own kids?

It honestly never occurred to me to copy and paste from my own childhood, which is interesting because I couldn’t have had a better childhood. I think what I’ve thought more about is how to emulate how it felt to grow up in my household. It was fun, safe, warm and my parents made me feel nothing but loved. I think that last piece - that my kids always feel an obscene amount of love and acceptance from us as parents - is the most important piece for me.

3. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

You co-host an incredible podcast called Ready or Not for mums who make work, work. Tell us how it came about and a little about your career pre-podcast? How have you found balancing the podcast with your role as a mum?

I was that person that spent her whole twenties worrying about how she’d have a career after becoming a mum. Growing up, I was so “maternal” (which I’ve since learned is an empty, vacuous word that doesn’t hold much weight) but I was also very driven career-wise; not necessarily to be the boss and become a billionaire, but to have a fulfilling career in media. Those two things didn’t make sense in my mind; I couldn’t reconcile how work and motherhood might look.

Fast forward to COVID, and my now co-host Loz is pregnant with her first and I’m starting to ask her a million and one questions about how she would tell her boss, how long she’d take off… the works. Fast forward to the podcast launch, and we’d had many discussions about doing it together but the timing - between our two babies - just wasn’t working. So, at six months postpartum (just as Loz was about to have her second baby) I started Ready or Not purely as an interview series and Loz jumped in about eight months later. The rest, as they say, is history.

As far as balancing it alongside motherhood goes, there was so much grit in the early days. My parents or my husband would have Ray while I interviewed, Loz would drive down to my parents house where we’d set up a pretend studio, I did all the editing and socials and she did all the partnership pitching. These jobs were both massive and time consuming and we learned a lot.

These days, it’s not necessarily easier but there’s more flow and we have a bigger team around us. We no longer pitch, we no longer edit, Loz has a full time job outside of Ready or Not and I freelance.

Somehow, with our village and childcare and kindergarten and school, we make it work. I’ll look back one day and wonder how on earth we did.

What do you wish more people knew about the realities of being a mum and having a ‘flexible’ job? How do you make work, work?

What I’ve learned is that the biggest hurdle for mums navigating paid work is still deeply entrenched gender norms and societal expectations. Until we genuinely believe that, in a mother-father family, parenting responsibility is even and shared, change will be slight and slow.

Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

Thanks to motherhood, but also my awareness of climate collapse, I no longer admire billionaires, success, and big shiny things in the way I once did. Paradoxically, I am driven as ever. I think the distinction for me is that I am drawn to work because I am obsessed with creating and consuming stories. In that way, I’m more ambitious, not less.

What does me-time or self care look like for you in this season?

In this exact pocket of time you’ve found me in, it’s non-existent. I’m spending every spare moment working and my husband is probably carrying more of the load at the moment. Having said that, we have a family weekend in Castlemaine coming up and every second year, my auntie, cousin, mum and I go away for one luxurious weekend. I’m counting down the minutes!

4. On your mothering experience…

What has been the biggest challenge and the biggest pleasant surprise for you in motherhood so far?

The biggest challenge is having no real control on how I use my time, it’s a head fuck to get used to that! The best surprise is that my kids delight me more and more every day. I love them so much. They are magic! It is MAGIC!

Has motherhood been what you expected? How has it changed you?

Motherhood has been both everything and nothing like I expected and it’s changed my relationship to everything and everyone. Decisions feel more loaded, time feels more finite and there’s meaning in literally everything.

What’s something about motherhood you think should be talked about more?

That talking about the challenges doesn’t mean you’re speaking negatively about the experience. I’m sick of mums being told they’re being negative online. Too positive? You’re toxic and fake. Too honest? You’re complaining and should be more grateful. I’m so tired of it.

5. On your village…

How did you find your village in motherhood?

My husband and I come from a big friendship group and big families. We were lucky to already be wrapped up in the best village possible.

6. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could go back and give your past self one piece of advice about mothering, what would it be?

You won’t be the mum you thought you’d be, but you’re a fucking good one anyway.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age or stage so far: Literally always the one I’m in. My kids are two and four and I want to freeze time. I imagine (or hope?) that I’ll be saying that forever.

2. Favourite family ritual, big or small: Slow Sundays at home inside or adventures at Shoreham beach.

3. Parenting hack everyone should know: I’ve never tried to be a perfect mum and I’ve never felt much pressure to be one. Instead, I try to be what society deems to be a good dad. It means less pressure and more fun.

4. Go to easy family dinner: Pasta, pasta, pasta!

5. Best family holiday destination: Crescent Head or Tathra in our caravan. Take me back <3 Or, someone give me money so I can take the kids to Japan, please?!

To hear more from Lucinda, tune into Ready or Not wherever you get your podcasts and follow Lucinda on Instagram for more beautifully honest reflections on motherhood, work and life.

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Being a mother is without a doubt the role of my lifetime. Made that all the more sweet because for a while there, I really didn’t know if I’d get to join the parent club I so longed to be a part of.

The perspective infertility has given me daily in all the little and big moments of parenting a now 18-month old, has been an incredible gift. A rough day with a cranky toddler is hard but not harder, in my experience, than my toughest days in IVF limbo. And I know I’m very lucky to have done the tough but then got the happy ending. That’s not everyone’s experience and if you’re in the thick of it right now, my heart is with you.

It probably says a lot about the pace of this life season that when a good friend asked me this week how I was feeling about Mother’s Day this year, I realised I hadn’t really thought about it beyond the logistics of our plans for the weekend.

It’s fair to say it’s a day that has felt complicated for nearly more of my life than it hasn’t.

As a little girl, I adored spoiling my Mum on Mother’s Day. She was delightfully easy to buy for. Not a materialistic person by any stretch but someone who found a lot of pleasure in simple things. A new book from her favourite author. A new CD. A dressing gown for the cooler months ahead. Or even a simple candle. Always with a colourful, probably glitter filled card when I was young then a carefully selected ‘proper’ card as I got older.

Lighting her up, lit me up. And then I’d get to do it all again a few weeks later for her June 1 birthday.

When I was 23, her last Mother’s Day was spent in hospital. At the end of a long journey with cancer and barely with us.

I still have the card my brother and I gave her that day. I can feel our hearts breaking when I read the words we wrote to her one last time, messages that (I hope) she got to hear us read aloud.

She died before her birthday, forever 57, so it’s fair to say I brace myself a little for this time of year. Navigating Mother’s Day without her would be enough on its own but the fact this time of year coincides with our last weeks with her, hits that much harder.

For years I managed Mother’s Day the best way I could. Like an obstacle course I simply had to get through.

Taking part in the Mother’s Day Classic fun run to be immersed in community, do something practical to fill the day and move the heavy energy in my body and in many cases, be around others also missing loved ones. We’d then celebrate my wonderful mother-in-law Jan over a very long lunch at someone’s house, avoiding restaurants and cafes that weekend because being surrounded by countless “happy families” all in one place could sometimes feel like a bit too much.

Then the missing my mum part merged into the longing to be a mum years too. There’s something confronting about the celebratory days - birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day - that become a reminder that another year has passed and you still don’t have what you want.

Two years ago though, cautious excitement. We chose Mother’s Day to share our pregnancy news with my wonderful parents-in-law and in all my years of knowing them, I’ve never seen them so surprised and happy.

And then last year, I was finally part of the Mum’s club on Mother’s Day. I shared on Instagram at the time how surprised I felt to feel a little lighter about the whole thing and what a relief that was to feel happy emotions about this day again amongst the trickier feelings too.

Occasions like this might just be 24 hours but they do tend to put a spotlight on wherever you are at in your life, especially if you’d rather things were different.

A little further now into my mothering journey, the complicated feelings do remain.

I’ll never not miss my mum every single day - including Mother’s Day. And what I would give to have her spend even one day with her cheeky and fun granddaughter.

And alongside that - because two things can be true - I feel incredibly grateful for the way becoming a mother has healed me in places I didn’t even know I was broken.

To anyone navigating tricky feelings around Mother’s Day, it’s so hard. My advice would be to lean into whatever gets you through the day, without any guilt.

If someone you know finds the day hard, send them a message in the lead up. It will mean more to them than you know.

Whatever your situation, I hope you can find a little joy this Sunday.

Happy Mother’s Day x

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That’s been the reality for Heidi Melville, who purchased Sagitine in 2021 and has since transformed it into a thriving luxury storage brand built on the idea that the things we treasure deserve to be both beautifully kept and thoughtfully organised.

“It’s storage you actually want to see in your home.”

Heidi lives with her partner Hayden and their daughter, six-year old Elle, in Sydney’s Potts Point, where they’ve quietly built what so many parents crave but rarely find in inner city life: a deeply connected, genuinely supportive village.

Outside of work you’ll usually find her reorganising cupboards (“an occupational hazard!”), walking, reading, or working on new ideas for the business.

“I love thoughtful design, beautiful homes, and anything that makes everyday life feel a little more considered and a little less chaotic.”

Enjoy this generous chat with the warm and inspiring, Heidi Melville xx

1. On entering motherhood…

What age were you when you became a mother and how did that timing shape your experience of entering motherhood?

I was 37 when I became a mother. It was June 2020 and we were in the early depths of the pandemic. The whole world was on edge. I was most worried about making sure we were ‘well’ enough that Hayden could be in the hospital with me. There was a lot of fear about him not being able to attend the birth if he had a temperature and the hospital rules changing.

But the silver lining was that it meant that our little bubble was sacred. No hospital visitors, no unexpected home visits, just lots of ‘us’ time, long walks and winter days on the couch. It was a really cosy time for us.

I was also perimenopausal. I have premature ovarian insufficiency and have been in menopause since 2022. I’m tempted to make a joke about the rollercoaster of emotions that the first 12 months postpartum presented but it was no joke.

The cultural acceptance of the stage of peri has blown up in the last few years, but in 2020, I was still being gaslit by professionals. It took me seven years, three GPs and an OBGYN before I ‘won’ a referral to an endocrinologist in 2023. She’s changed my life. But the hormonal state of my body and mind in the final stages of peri, while in postpartum through the pandemic, was tough.

What does this current ‘season’ of motherhood look like and feel like for you?

It’s really fun. Elle has started school this year and falling into a school routine has given us a special sense of a new normal. I have to say, we have the most incredible parent community in our area that, over the last few years, we’ve become amazing friends with. Having them ‘with us’ during the transition to school has been something we’ve been deeply grateful for.

2. On your daughter…

How would you describe Elle? Is there a lesson that comes to mind that she has taught you?

Sooo independent. Sassy. Elle is a lot of fun. She’s full of energy and absolutely loves nothing more than spending time with Hayden and I but also has an incredible love for her whole family and her close friends.

How would you describe your experience of being a one-child family?

We love it. I can’t imagine having two. We have a really great friendship group in our local community, so there is always someone to play with at a park nearby.

3. On your mothering experience…

Has motherhood been what you expected? How has it changed you?

In many ways, I think so. I knew it would be incredibly challenging and it has been. My whole concept of time has shifted, and that has definitely been something I knew was coming but I don’t think anything can prepare you for how much of your time is taken up by things you never considered pre-kids.

Being a business owner means time is a hot commodity in so many ways. It’s definitely changed me.

4. On your childhood…

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for Elle?

Having fun outside. I grew up in regional North Queensland on a river and we were constantly in the water, getting muddy, finding bugs, avoiding snakes and playing independently outside.

Potts Point is a far cry from FNQ! But we spend a lot of time out in all the parks near us, running, kicking a ball, getting into the harbour or going down to the beach. I think there’s a fun level of connection we have when we’re all out exploring together.

5. On your village…

How did you find your village in motherhood?

Oh wow, we were so incredibly lucky. It was peak pandemic, so no one was going anywhere except the local park, and we all just started chatting. From there, our local village is, quite literally, exactly that.

All of the kids are best mates. Lots of us don’t have a lot of local family, so we stuck to each other quickly and are still close today.

I also have two brothers in Sydney with whom I’m incredibly close and who have been the core of our village since day one. In fact, my younger brother nannied for Elle from when she was a baby. We were in a tricky situation where I had to go back to work when Elle was only 14 weeks old and Hayden was wrapping up a contract that had been extended.

We had always agreed to share the first year, our aim was that we would become parents together, but life, hey. So Stew stepped in and looked after Elle from 14 weeks to 6 months, every day, from 8am to 5pm, and then would often be too tired to go straight home (rightly so) and stay for dinner, which he had mostly cooked for us all! It was incredible. I’m getting a little teary remembering now how much support we had in those early months and still have today. We are so fortunate.

6. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

Tell us about your business Sagitine. How did becoming a mother influence your decision to be your own boss? How have you found balancing your business with your role as a mum?

I own Sagitine, a home storage and organisation business. We sell storage boxes and stands that are as beautiful as they are practical.

I didn’t start Sagitine, I purchased it from the founder in December 2021. I had known for a long time I wanted to do my own thing but I didn’t think I had the energy in me to be a founder. The great thing about buying a business is that you have revenue and market fit data from day one. It’s an editing process, instead of a building process.

I used to work a lot of hours in an office when I was in corporate. Those early days of Elle when I was back in a corporate environment quickly took their toll on me, both physically recovering from birth, but mainly emotionally.

It’s been a dream running my own business and being a parent. The logistical flexibility is obviously great but the biggest win has been that I am the person solely responsible for where I spend my energy. If I don’t put it into Sagitine, Sagitine doesn’t grow. I know that. But sometimes I make that decision for a couple of weeks to either give myself a rest or support Elle through something like transitioning to school.

Being in control of my time, but more importantly, my energy, has meant I don’t feel like I’m balancing anymore; I feel more like I’m living.

Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

Nope, not at all. I have this thing inside of me, I don’t know where it comes from or how it got there, but I am utterly determined to have a good life. Now my version of a good life might be different from someone else’s, but it’s something that’s always driven me. Being a mother hasn’t changed that for me.

What’s been the secret to success in co-parenting with your partner and keeping your relationship a priority?

Oh jeez, this is such a tough one because it doesn’t always feel like this is true. But we both know there are seasons and each day might not always feel like a partnership, but overall, it is.

We do the things everyone does and we try to get away together regularly. A mini-break or a date night. But I think the thing that has helped us the most is that Elle is a great sleeper. We got some help early on and she’s been a champ at sleeping since. It means that every day, we get a chance to spend at least an hour together, just the two of us, at the end of the day. That constant connection has been so important.

What does me-time or self-care look like for you in this season?

I need alone time. It’s just who I am. I get much less of it as a mother of course but I make sure every year I get at least a whole week away completely alone.

I exercise almost every day. That time used to be important for me physically but now it’s really the mental health side that I benefit from most.

And I see a psychologist regularly. And when I say regularly, I mean a recurring fortnightly session. Spending the time to focus on nothing other than my mental and emotional health is a non-negotiable for me.

7. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could go back and give your past self one piece of advice about mothering, what would it be?

There were two pieces of advice a friend gave us just before Elle was born and I think of them almost every day.

Firstly, you do you.

Secondly, look after your family unit first. This might look like turning visitors away at the last minute because you got no sleep last night. Or prioritising rest and a family movie over a relative’s birthday party. Things you never would have done before, but now you have to, in order to protect the calm.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age or stage so far: This one - five to six is FUN

2. Favourite family ritual, big or small: Reading books every day.

3. Parenting hack everyone should know: Prioritise sleep for EVERYONE in the home.

4. Go to easy family dinner: Homemade pizza on Woolies high protein pizza bases. I unashamedly prioritise macros over no preservatives. Science will decide in about ten years how good that decision was, but for now, yay to pizza!

5. Best family holiday destination: Hamilton Island.

Follow Sagitine on Instagram or visit the website to up your stylish storage game.

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In the latest instalment of the Motherhood Village Expert Series, I’m speaking with Dr Bronwyn Leigh, a Clinical Psychologist dedicated to Perinatal and Infant Mental Health. Bronwyn has spent many years supporting parents through the emotional and psychological shifts that can accompany pregnancy, birth and early parenthood.

After training and working in the public health system, she founded the Centre for Perinatal Psychology, the first national network of private-practising perinatal psychologists in Australia. Today it connects families with more than 100 trained perinatal psychologists offering in-person and Telehealth support across the country.

Bronwyn lives in Melbourne with her family and their little dog, Biscuit. She’s also a published author, researcher, and conference presenter and passionate advocate for better support for parents.

I hope you find this conversation thoughtful and helpful xx

For someone hearing the term for the first time, how would you explain what a perinatal psychologist does?

A perinatal psychologist supports the mental health and emotional wellbeing of families during the perinatal period, both before and after a baby is born.

A lot of our work centres on the emotional shift that happens when someone becomes a parent. We look closely at the early relationships that develop between parents and their babies and the many psychological changes that can come with that transition. It can be joyful and overwhelming and we support families through both sides of that experience.

The aim is to strengthen those early relationships and help parents feel more confident, supported and connected as they find their feet.

While there’s often a natural focus on mothers, perinatal psychologists think about the whole family system. Having a baby involves more than one person, so we also support fathers, partners, infants, couples and families during this time. Even if one person reaches out for help their experience sits within a family context and everyone in that system is affected.

What are the most common reasons women come to see you and what is often going on beneath the surface?

Women seek support for many different reasons. Some are struggling with anxiety or low mood. Others are navigating fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, birth trauma or the stress of caring for a baby who is unwell. Sometimes it’s the quiet but distressing feeling of not bonding with their baby in the way they expected. And often, it’s simply the enormous adjustment to becoming a parent.

A common thread is that many mothers arrive feeling distressed and worried they are not coping the way they “should” be. The transition to parenthood brings profound emotional, physical and identity changes.

When we look beneath the surface, there are often many layers. Sometimes becoming a parent brings unresolved experiences or old wounds into sharper focus. At other times, the perinatal period can reveal things that may have gone unrecognised earlier in life. With growing awareness of neurodivergence in women, for example, we are increasingly seeing Autism and ADHD first identified during this stage.

The coping strategies that helped someone manage for years can begin to fray under the weight of sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the huge practical and emotional changes a baby brings.

And of course, the level of support around a new parent matters enormously. Feeling isolated or unsupported can make an already demanding period feel much harder to navigate.

What emotional or psychological shifts during pregnancy or early motherhood tend to surprise people the most?

Oh, there are so many! One of the biggest surprises is the sheer scale of the shift that happens when someone becomes a parent. It’s not just physical. It touches almost every part of life. This transition is often described as matrescence for mothers (and patrescence for fathers), and many researchers compare its developmental significance to adolescence. It really is that big of a life shift.

While those concepts capture the broad changes, I’m particularly interested in the psychological journey that unfolds as women become mothers and men become fathers. Part of this involves what we sometimes call the development of a motherhood mindset (or fatherhood mindset). This is the process of gradually coming to see yourself as a parent, while also beginning to understand and relate to your baby as their own little person.

Many parents are surprised by how much their thinking and attention naturally shifts during this time. Suddenly a huge amount of mental space is devoted to the baby and to questions about what it means to be a parent. For some people this feels very natural, while for others it can feel unfamiliar or even unsettling at first. But it is a deeply human part of the transition into parenthood.

How does becoming a mother often challenge a woman’s sense of identity?

Profoundly. Moving from woman to mother requires a significant reorganisation of identity and relationships, and importantly, this happens over time, not in a single moment.

We often see phrases on social media like, “the moment a baby is born, so too is the mother.” And on one level, that sentiment captures something real. Birth is an incredibly profound moment. A woman enters a new role and there can be a sense of rawness, tenderness and unfamiliarity as she meets both her baby and this new version of herself.

But the idea that a mother is somehow instantly “born” in that intense physical moment of birth can also overlook the enormous psychological work that begins long before birth and continues long afterwards. Throughout pregnancy and early parenthood, many women are slowly reorganising their sense of self, making space internally for this new role and identity.

From this perspective, motherhood is less a single moment of transformation and more a process of becoming. And that process looks different for everyone.

This is such an important thing for women to know. I’ve seen many mothers become distressed because they don’t immediately feel like a mum. They might start worrying that something is wrong with them, or that they’re not good at it. In reality, some women begin to feel that identity forming in the final weeks of pregnancy, while others only start to feel settled into the role months after their baby arrives, once they’ve had time to get to know their baby and themselves in this new relationship.

Often the identity begins to take shape during pregnancy, grows after birth, and then settles more fully over the first months of caring for a baby. It can take time to fall in love with your baby, and it can take time to recognise yourself as a mother too.

And of course, many of these questions about identity and selfhood also arise for men as they transition into fatherhood.

What do you see mothers being hardest on themselves about?

Trying to do everything, and then feeling like they’ve failed when that proves impossible. Which it almost always is!

Many mothers carry a quiet expectation that they should be able to manage it all, caring for a baby, recovering from pregnancy and birth, keeping life running, often while appearing calm and grateful for it all. When reality doesn’t match that expectation, they can be incredibly hard on themselves.

The truth is, we were never meant to raise babies alone or in isolation. In many non-Western cultures, women are supported through clear rites of passage into motherhood and are closely cared for, particularly in the early postpartum period. That level of communal support simply isn’t the norm in Australia.

Society quietly sets women up to struggle, and yet the struggle is frequently interpreted as a personal failing rather than a reflection of the circumstances.

What aspects of motherhood do you wish society talked about more openly?

Intrusive thoughts. We don’t talk about them nearly enough. And a little trigger warning here that I am going to mention thoughts of infant harm.

Intrusive thoughts are scary, unwanted thoughts or images that suddenly pop into a parent’s mind, often involving accidental harm coming to the baby, like dropping them or the baby slipping under the bath water.

They are actually very common in the perinatal period. Research suggests that all new mothers experience intrusive thoughts about accidental harm, and around half experience thoughts about intentionally harming their baby. These thoughts are usually deeply upsetting precisely because mothers love their babies and want to keep them safe.

In many ways they are part of our brain’s safety system, keeping us alert to potential danger. Importantly, there is no evidence that mothers who experience these unwanted intrusive thoughts go on to act on them.

Most parents are able to let the thoughts pass, but if they become sticky or distressing, support can really help. Perinatal psychologists work with this often, and no parent should feel they have to suffer in silence. Fathers can experience these thoughts too.

Is there a right time to seek support or signs that it might be helpful to talk to someone sooner rather than later?

One of the challenges many mothers face is working out what is “normal” in such a big life transition. It can be hard to know how much of what you are feeling is due to biology, changing circumstances, or sleep deprivation and whether there might be something more going on that would benefit from professional support. For first-time parents especially, there isn’t really a benchmark to measure against.

A helpful rule of thumb is to notice how distressed you feel and for how long. If you are feeling distressed a good portion of the time and those feelings are not easing after a couple of weeks, that is usually a good sign to seek support. It is also completely okay to reach out earlier if your distress feels intense.

A perinatal psychologist can help if you are feeling overwhelmed, if you feel you are not coping as you had hoped, if you would like more support during this time, or if things simply do not seem to be improving on their own.

It is very common to feel wobbly at times during this phase of life. What matters more is the intensity of the distress and whether it persists. And if you are unsure, it can help to talk things through with someone you trust, whether that is a partner, friend, GP or maternal health nurse. Motherhood should not equal suffering.

For someone booking their very first session, what can they expect?

The first session is really about understanding what is going on for you and what has brought you in. We’ll spend time talking about what you’re experiencing at the moment, what concerns you most and what changes you would like to see.

Perinatal psychologists are great listeners. Sometimes we may not say much straight away because we want to give you space to share what’s been on your mind.

Together, we’ll also start thinking about what kind of support might be helpful moving forward. That might include setting some goals and discussing what frequency of appointments could best support you.

And importantly, mums are always welcome to bring their babies along. You can feed, change or soothe your baby during the session in whatever way you need. We are used to hearing babies cry and we don’t get upset or irritated by it and we don’t judge you for a crying baby!

With so many practitioners available, what should people look for when choosing a perinatal psychologist? Do they require a referral? Are there any red flags to watch for?

One thing that surprises many people is that “perinatal psychologist” is not a protected term. Any registered psychologist can technically use it, so it’s worth checking that the practitioner has undertaken additional training in perinatal and infant mental health. Supporting families during this stage involves understanding a unique mix of psychological, developmental and relational changes.

A psychologist with specific training will be able to recognise the difference between the profound shifts that are a normal part of becoming a parent and experiences that move beyond what might be considered typical adjustment.

In terms of referrals, you only need one if you would like to access Medicare rebates through a mental health care plan. Otherwise, many people choose to book directly.

When choosing someone, it can also help to pay attention to how safe and understood you feel. You should feel listened to, respected and supported. If something feels dismissive, rushed or judgemental, that can be a sign the fit may not be right.

What is something you wish all mums knew about mental health and emotional support after having a baby?

One thing I wish all mums knew is that the early months of motherhood are a time of enormous emotional adjustment. It is very normal to feel unsettled at times as you find your footing in this new role.

It can also be a period when past experiences or old wounds resurface. That is not a sign something is wrong, but often part of the deeper psychological shifts that can happen as people become parents. With the right support, these experiences can be understood and worked through.

For those in a relationship, those partnerships are adjusting too. Many couples find the first year after having a baby puts pressure on their partnership as they navigate new roles, responsibilities and very little sleep. Approaching this time with patience and kindness toward each other can make a real difference.

Most importantly, if you are struggling, you don’t have to manage it alone. Support can be incredibly helpful during this stage of life and reaching out is a positive and proactive step.

To learn more about Bronwyn and the work of the Centre for Perinatal Psychology you can follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

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I’d just left my global job at one of the world’s biggest travel companies and was enjoying what felt like a rare and glorious real life pause and giving my best lady of leisure life a red hot go. Long lunches. Beach days. Trips away. No Slack notifications. No early morning Zoom calls or 2am presentations. And that was all so great.

But at the very same time, I was deep in my infertility limbo years.

Leading a double life.

As a classic A-type, work hard and you’ll get the result you’re after, infertility was a shock to the system. It forced me to learn lessons I needed to learn the very hard way.

I couldn’t plan or prepare or try harder my way out of this one. Nope. This was a test in patience, heartbreak, picking yourself back up again, advocating for yourself constantly and keeping it together. All while life rolled on.

And when you choose to keep your fertility journey private, no one quite prepares you for what it’s like to live two lives at once. To slap on a brave face and function like your ‘normal self’ when you feel anything but.

Like the morning I was waiting in a work meeting room for a call from my IVF clinic, only to have a colleague knock on the door to tell me she was pregnant.

The team lunch I had to duck out of to try and catch my specialist so we could decide together whether or not to cancel our current IVF round that wasn’t looking promising.

Or the time when I had to make the call to pause treatment to accommodate a work trip to New York. Genuine excitement on the outside (and inside. I love New York and this was an amazing opportunity). Lots of processing and quiet decision making happening in my double life. Because when you’re trying to claw your way out of an infertility limbo land you never asked to be in, a month or two can feel like forever. If you know, you know.

At the time, my role required regular early morning Zoom meetings with US colleagues. As an early bird, I genuinely loved getting a head start on my day. That is, until fertility treatment entered the picture.

I was suddenly negotiating two schedules at once. One visible to everyone at work. One known only to me and my husband.

IVF requires many early morning appointments, usually between 7am and 9am, for blood tests and ultrasounds. You rarely know until the day before when you’ll need to come in, which makes planning anything feel near impossible. Another quiet lesson in surrender.

If I’d had a standard 9–5 job, popping into a clinic before work would have been inconvenient but manageable. For me, that window was my work peak hour. My chance to connect with my international team and colleagues. So I became very good at offering to take 5am or earlier meetings, squeezing in clinic visits and showing up to work like nothing was going on.

That’s the thing about a double life. You feel pressure to maintain your high standards so no one suspects a thing. Of course, had my colleagues known, they would have been understanding. But that was the point. I didn’t want them - or anyone - to know.

It reminds me of how we expect mothers to work like they’re not mothers and mother like they don’t work. Except during fertility treatment, there’s no visible proof. No social permission. Just quiet endurance for those of us who decide not to share. With no guaranteed end in sight.

Back to that summer of funemployment. Those beach mornings were as dreamy as they looked on Instagram. But the truth is, they were also one of my survival tactics. A place where I didn’t have to perform. Where the second life could loosen its grip, even briefly.

After visiting my IVF clinic in the CBD, I’d take myself to Balmoral Beach. Long a favourite spot of mine, it became a place to unpack. To breathe. To brace myself for the impending results phone call that could mean “things are looking great” or “we need to stop and try again”. To feel sand between my toes and salty ocean water, and occasionally salty tears, on my skin. To steady myself enough to go again. One day at a time.

I’d always finish with a chai latte from my favourite cafe. Any chai lover will know a good, consistent chai is hard to come by in Sydney, so that familiar warmth felt like a small kindness I could count on.

Thanks to those early appointments, my results often came back quickly. I’d be nervously nursing my chai in one hand, phone in the other, talking to the nurse while looking out to the ocean. And one day, that phone call was the one that said, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” and led me to my dream girl.

That place and that ritual became part of my little family’s story forever.

A happy memory from a time when my life was split in two. One that eventually saw me finally become a mum and re-emerge to a life that no longer needed hiding or dividing.

Why do I share this? Because some of the hardest chapters in life are the ones we carry quietly. And because what looks like ease from the outside can be pure survival on the inside.

And because if you’re also treading a fertility journey quietly, I see you. It’s so hard.

If there’s one thing that double life taught me, it’s this: sometimes the smallest glimmers - a beach swim, a warm drink, a moment to yourself amongst the chaos - aren’t indulgent. They’re essential. Double lives are exhausting, but sometimes necessary. And how glorious it is to finally set them down when life lets you.

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A marketing pro and country girl at heart, Bec grew up with her Mum, Dad and two sisters in the tiny town of Guyra in regional NSW. She now calls the Northern Beaches of Sydney home with husband Dave, and her sports-loving kids, daughter Scarlett, 17, and son Kai, 14.

“My kids play a hectic amount of sport and so a lot of my free time is spent watching them play, which I love. I think after years of looking after their teams I could probably add ‘professional sports team manager’ to my resume!”

I absolutely adore Bec’s approach to motherhood. She’s a brilliant reminder of why it’s so valuable to learn from those a few steps ahead on the parenting journey, especially those with a wicked sense of humour and knack for saying it how it is.

Enjoy this wonderful chat with the funny, warm and generous, Bec Hurley.

1. On entering motherhood…

How old were you when you became a mother and how did you find coming into motherhood at the age you did?

I was almost 31 when I became a mum. While we were planning a baby, it all happened a little quicker than we expected, something I now see as a real gift after supporting friends through fertility challenges. It threw us into parenthood earlier than anticipated, but we were thrilled.

If you asked me before having her, I would have said I was completely ready. I loved kids and babies, spent most of my teen years babysitting and felt like I would be alright at being a mum. Yeah I know, what an arrogant dope!

I didn’t have many close friends with kids then. I’d heard plenty of labour stories, but not nearly enough about what it’s actually like to have a baby forever, and what a glorious mix of joy, fun, terror and WTF moments it is.

I loved being a mum and I loved my kids but I found it really hard and I don’t think I was prepared for that. That A-type, eldest-daughter energy probably didn’t serve me well. I have such fond memories of my kids when they were little, watching them learn and grow, all the sweet moments, but I wish I’d had some of my older self’s perspective back then and was a bit more relaxed and far less hard on myself.

2. On your mother…

Tell me about your mum?

I’m really lucky, I have a wonderful mum. She always puts the needs of others ahead of her own, which I absolutely do not endorse, but it’s just who she is.

Mum is kind and gentle and wears her heart on her sleeve. She loves us, our kids and her friends fiercely. One of my greatest joys has been watching her relationship with my children. They giggle together a lot and she spoils them with all the things she didn’t with us.

She’s a true introvert but it wouldn’t be fair to paint Mum as so gentle she seems meek. She comes from a long line of fierce, strong, independent women and while her strength is quieter than theirs, it’s absolutely there.

She’s held us up through our hardest times, been our biggest cheerleader in the good ones and advocated for us when we needed it most. She kept the family on track and together, she really is our glue. I probably didn’t recognise that when I was younger, but this quiet gentle strength is the thing I respect and love most about her.

Sundays were Dad’s golf days so we always had time alone with Mum. I remember movie days, carpet picnics and just being together, probably why we’re so close now.

Now I’d say Mum is one of my dearest friends and advisors. I love her company and while I don’t see her as often as I should, I really look forward to our Sunday phone calls and the time we do have together.

What’s a piece of parenting advice or a parenting philosophy from your mother that has stayed with you?

I don’t really remember Mum giving specific parenting advice, but I do remember how supportive she was. She let me know I was doing well and checked in to make sure I was okay. It sounds simple but that kind of reassurance really builds your confidence.

Growing up, Mum was always careful not to tell us what to do when we were making decisions about our lives. Trust me, she didn’t hold back when it came to telling us to wash up and do our chores! At the time it felt frustrating, especially when you really wanted someone to just tell you what to do. I vaguely remember screeching that at her while choosing my HSC subjects. But I think the result was that you learn how to work things out for yourself, how to trust your gut and let your experiences and values guide you.

She also showed me the power of kindness and how meaningful your time can be. All of that has shaped the way I parent my own kids.

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for your own kids?

My kids’ lives are very different to mine growing up. Living in a city, they’re busier, have more opportunities and far more access to things outside the home than I had growing up in the country. Because of that, time together feels really precious.

We try to take a holiday together every year, even if it’s just a short weekend away. As the kids get older, we let them have input into what we do and where we eat so they still want to come with us!

My Mum and Dad always showed up to the things that were important to us like dance concerts and school awards, and Dave and I try to do the same for our kids. We watch every sports game we can, show interest in what they love and go to school assemblies because I remember how special that made me feel too.

We also eat dinner together whenever we can. Some meals are quiet and tired, some are loud and full of jokes, some end in arguments. But I think we’ll remember them all fondly.

3. On your kids…

How would you describe your kids?

My kids are awesome, they are better than me in so many ways and I feel proud of them every single day.

Scarlett is independent, fierce, bold and tenacious. She’s competitive and not shy about showing it. An extrovert and definitely a people person, she’s loyal, kind and warm and great company. She’s also a natural storyteller with a brilliant sense of humour. I still love hearing her giggle come out of nowhere.

Kai is our little introvert in a family full of extroverts, poor kid! He’s sensitive and kind and it takes a bit longer to get to know him, but I notice how much other kids his age gravitate toward him. He doesn’t have expectations of anyone and just meets people where they’re at. His emotional intelligence always surprises me and he also has a wonderful sense of humour that keeps us laughing most days.

Is there a lesson that comes to mind that they have taught you?

Scarlett is really confident and has reminded me to trust myself, and if it doesn’t work out to pick myself up. I love and admire her resilience.

Kai shows me that kindness is powerful and can change someone’s day, year, or even life. You might know this intuitively, but seeing it in kids really shows just how powerful it is.

When they grow up and reflect on their childhood, how would you hope they describe you as their mum?

I hope my kids grow up knowing that no matter the arguments or bumps along the way, I always loved them and wanted the best for them. I want them to remember me as their biggest cheerleader, someone brave enough to call them out when needed, but above all kind, fun, and their fiercest supporter.

4. On your mothering experience…

Has motherhood been what you expected it to be? How has it changed you?

I think I expected more constancy in motherhood, that it would feel the same all the time, but each stage moves on so quickly. I feel like I’ve parented 20 different kids in one, and in that sense, it has taught me that change is constant.

It’s also taught me that you can love through rage - if you never get mad at your kids, please teach me your ways. I didn’t realise I could be so furious and feel so much love for the same person at the same time.

Motherhood is currently teaching me to let go and get out of the way. As my kids get older, I realise I’m becoming more and more redundant and our relationship is changing. My overwhelming urge is to protect them from harm, hurt or challenges, but less and less am I able to. And more importantly, they want to navigate these things on their own. I’m sure there are loads of challenges I don’t even know about. This might be the hardest lesson so far.

What has been the biggest challenge and the biggest pleasant surprise about motherhood?

My babies were terrible sleepers. It affected every part of my life and made me feel kind of crazy. Looking back, I think a lot of it could have been eased if I’d been kinder to myself. Another challenge has been prioritising my relationship with my partner among all the kids’ stuff. It takes real work, and we haven’t always gotten that balance right.

The biggest surprise, especially as my kids get older, is how much I enjoy conversation with them and just hanging out. I’m excited for our adult relationships. They’re funny, cheeky, smart, and interesting and I can’t wait to see how much they’re going to teach me when they’re out in the world.

5. On how you mother…

How would you describe your approach to motherhood?

Gosh, I don’t think I really have a philosophy. I’m more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of gal! Or to frame that more positively, we meet each situation as it comes and respond to what’s needed at the time.

I’m also very aware that while I want my kids to like me, helping them become good humans in the long term means saying hard things, doing things they won’t like and putting them back on the right track from time to time. I hope that as they get older, they recognise this as love, because teenagers certainly don’t. So I suppose my philosophy is brutal honesty, even when it’s hard.

What does this ‘season’ of motherhood look like and feel like for you?

This season feels a bit odd. I’m very aware that Dave and I are no longer their favourite or most important people, and their main influences are now outside our home. That means more time with Dave, which is wonderful, and getting to know these new versions of my kids. They’ve surrounded themselves with amazing friends and are becoming well rounded, interesting humans to spend time with.

What are your favourite - big and/or small - family rituals?

This is a small, slightly silly one, but with all the sports the kids play, we spend a lot of time in the car. The car chats are awesome. With less direct eye contact, they tend to share more. I get to tell stories from when I was a kid, and we giggle a lot.

6. On your village…

How did you find ‘your village’ in motherhood?

I’m lucky to have my parents and sisters, along with Dave’s family, for support. But my closest inner village is the girlfriends I met through the kids’ sport, particularly through Scarlett.

These women laugh with me, cry with me and love my kids like family, and I love theirs too. They celebrate our wins and sit with us through the losses. They support me not just as a mum, but as a professional and as a woman.

What’s a green flag in another mum that makes you think, ‘you’re going to be one of my people’?

Honestly, it’s usually someone who doesn’t take it all too seriously. Often it shows up as a scathing, sarcastic comment about their own kid, but said with a laugh and love in their eyes. That’s very different from being nasty, which feels like an important distinction.

I also value people who can recognise both the good and the hard parts in themselves and their kids. That kind of honesty and self-awareness feels real.

Once you’ve known someone for a while, the biggest green flag is showing up. That might look like a meal dropped off during a rough patch, a text to check in, a call, or an emergency glass of wine. Showing up, even in the smallest way, is the greenest of green flags.

What’s the best thing another mum has done to support you?

Gosh, I’m so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful humans, I’m not sure I can choose just one. I do remember a friend letting their dinner go cold when Kai was small so I could eat a hot meal with everyone else. That moment has always stayed with me, because at the time I just wanted to feel like myself again. He really didn’t sleep, and it was a rough few years.

7. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

You’ve had an incredible career in marketing. How have you found balancing that with your role as mum?

I’m not sure I balanced it super well. And I find the idea of being able to find the perfect balance a bit of a myth that maybe doesn’t set us up for success.

I definitely chose the times to push in my career and the times where I let myself cruise. That sometimes meant not taking a promotion or role at a particular time because I wanted to be comfy at work for the time being. I think it’s ok to sometimes choose life and sometimes choose career and I share that with lots of the women I work with. Another opportunity always comes along and it needs to be the right opportunity but also the right time.

With all that said, having a partner who is genuinely 50 /50 with the kids is huge. I think most co-parents do this now, but when my kids were little, I always got told how lucky I was that Dave was so hands on - I have many words and a feminist rant to go along with this, but perhaps for another day! And I guess in a way I am lucky to have had that. Because it really has helped me balance work and life and the same for him too.

What’s been the secret to success in co-parenting with your husband and keeping your relationship a priority?

Challenging each other and saying when you don’t agree with something is important, as is sharing the load. That doesn’t always mean 50/50, sometimes it’s 90/10, and then it flips at another stage, so staying open and flexible is important.

We definitely haven’t always got the balance of prioritising our relationship right, but we try to make time when we can. Dinner together, a walk, and if life is really chaotic, even grocery shopping together works to get some kid-free conversation in.

8. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could impart wisdom to a mum in her first year of motherhood, what would it be?

You’ve spent more time with your baby than anyone else, so you know them better than anyone else, even one day after they’re born. So take in the advice people offer, but adapt it so it works for you and your baby.

And be kind to yourself. None of us really know what we’re doing, but if you’re worried about doing it right, that already means you’re a great mum, because you care.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age or stage so far: Eleven or twelve has been really fun. They’re old enough for good conversation, but still young, cute and funny, without the teenage attitude just yet. That said, I have fond memories from every stage.

2. Parenting hack everyone should know: Toast is a perfectly acceptable dinner.

3. Book, podcast, Substack or influencer recommendation for motherhood inspo:
   I stepped away from most parenting content pretty early on because it made me feel like I wasn’t doing it right, especially when the advice didn’t work for my kids. When I need help with a particular stage, I usually do a bit of research, ask trusted friends and figure it out from there. I’ve also pushed back on being completely defined as a mother, and for me that meant turning away from parenting content a little. That said, I will happily read or listen to something that makes me laugh about parenthood. The Honest Toddler was great for giggling at the madness of the toddler years.

4. Go-to easy family dinner: RecipeTin Eats is a lifesaver, especially the quick and easy section. Nagi’s baked butter chicken is a huge crowd pleaser, one pan, straight in the oven and minimal cleaning. I worship at the altar of Nagi.

5. Best family holiday destination: We love a beach break. Hallidays Point holds a lot of fond memories, and Yamba is another family favourite. For the tween and teen years, the Northern Territory was a great trip with culture, adventure, great food and drinks.

Big thanks to Bec for sharing her mothering wisdom so beautifully x

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In the latest instalment of the Motherhood Village Expert Series, I’m chatting with mother of three - and a very good friend of mine - Amanda Cobcroft. With many years of experience supporting young families, Amanda shares thoughtful insights into the benefits of working with a nanny, what to look for when hiring one, and the deep, lasting relationships that can grow along the way.

Can you share a little about your career journey and what led you to becoming a nanny?

My Dad was always a softie with babies and he would make a beeline for any baby that was at our get-togethers. I must have inherited this trait from him, as I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a mother, as well as a teacher.

I achieved both of these wishes, and absolutely loved being a mum to my three beautiful daughters. I had my children when I was 25, 27, and 29, and I loved being a young mum, as that was what I had always wanted to be.

After leaving high school, I went to Teacher’s College. These institutions are now defunct, but it was the place to go back in my day if you wanted to study teaching, which I desperately did!

After graduating, there were no full-time teaching positions available so I worked in the money market for a few years then I started my family. I was very happy to be a hands-on mum to my three daughters until they were all well entrenched in school or uni.

When I was ready to return to work, I joined a childcare agency for casual shifts, which soon led to full-time room leader roles in both nursery and pre-school rooms across several centres.

After seven years in childcare, I realised I wanted a closer relationship with a smaller group of children and parents, rather than working within large centre structures.

I was actually very sad to leave my last centre, as I’d grown close to many families but I was also so excited to start working for myself and build up my own nanny business from scratch. I placed an ad on We Need a Nanny and soon began working with two wonderful families.

That was 12 years ago, and I’m still happily working for myself and plan to continue until I retire in a few years. At 64, I am very privileged to be able to help raise other people’s children, still fulfilling my desire to spend most of my days with children.

For anyone unsure, how would you describe what a nanny actually does (and doesn’t do)?

A nanny helps a family with their childcare needs, often alongside daycare or school.

We follow your family’s routines and structure, acting as an extension of your home environment so your child feels loved, supported and safe. As well as building a strong bond with your precious child, a nanny can take them to activities such as swimming lessons, gymnastics, music classes, parks, libraries and nature walks.

Most nannies are also happy to help with things like children’s meal prep, their laundry, bath time, story time, and tidying up after activities or meals.

Ultimately, the exact arrangement is something each family and nanny works out together. My philosophy is simple: it’s our job to fit in with the family’s way of doing things and support you as best we can, so you always feel comfortable leaving your children in our care.

What does a typical workday or week look like for you?

At the moment I work with four families, so things are definitely busy! I do a combination of school drop-offs and pick-ups for some of the families, and whole days with pre-school age kids going to gymnastics, speech therapy, swimming lessons, libraries and parks. After the school pick-ups there are cello lessons, soccer matches, homework to supervise and church youth groups to take the older children to.

There are snacks and lunches to pack, stories to read and puzzles to complete. For a couple of the families, I do the nightly bath time routine and hair washing. I’m also happy to unpack the dishwasher and help with the children’s laundry. With one family I’ve been with for 12 years, I also cook a couple of dinners, make school lunches and change sheets once a week while their daughters are at school.

All of this means nannying is definitely not a traditional 9–5 job! Your hours depend on the parents’ schedules and needs. School holidays also require flexibility - some families travel so they don’t need you, while others might need your services for extra hours so the parents can keep working.

You’ve built some beautiful relationships with the families you’ve worked with over the years. Can you share an example of two of the connections you’ve fostered and what these have meant to you and the families?

When I first started nannying, I worked Mondays and Tuesdays for a family with a two-and-a-half-year-old girl and a one-year-old boy. I stayed with them for nearly four and a half years, until their son started school. During that time, I also became close with their grandmother, who lived with them and we’re still friends today.

The other family I supported on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays had six-month-old twin girls. Caring for twins felt daunting at first but was also a very exciting challenge! I still work for that family now, even though the girls are about to start high school. They feel like grandchildren to me and they know they can message or call me anytime.

When they were getting ready for their Year Six formal, they Facetimed me to show me their dresses and hair, then rang again during the night to fill me in. I love the connection we have. I still vividly remember feeding one baby while rocking the other’s bouncer with my foot and now we chat about which shoes and handbags go with their new dresses!

Just as I’m part of their family, they’re part of mine. Every winter I take them on a week-long holiday in the Port Stephens area, where they’ve become loved members of my extended family. We’ve shared many trips over the years, giving their parents a break and giving us all precious time together. It’s a very special bond.

What are some of the biggest benefits of working with a nanny compared to other types of childcare? Are there any surprising advantages people don’t usually think about?

A major benefit is that a close relationship is quickly built up between the child and their nanny, as they are receiving 1:1 care and attention, or 1:2 etc if there are more children involved. Another huge benefit can be when your child is sick and unable to attend childcare or school, most nannies are happy to still work and look after your child, so parents don’t need to use up their annual or sick leave.

Some childcare centres and pre-schools have big staff turnover, but with a nanny you can avoid this problem. It is also easier to get comprehensive feedback on your child’s day, with photos and updates readily available.

What’s something you wish every mum knew about working with a nanny?

That there will be someone else who will fall in love with your child too, someone who will advocate for them, protect them, nurture them and help educate them.

It can be very rewarding for a parent to have that extra set of hands, eyes and ears to help you raise your child and also to back you up and support you when you might be feeling unsure, rundown or just needing a hug from an understanding friend.

What advice would you give to mums starting the process of finding a nanny? Where should they begin? How do your families typically find you?

Begin by asking friends or anyone you know who already has a nanny, personal recommendations are the best place to start. There are several helpful websites including We Need a Nanny, Find a Babysitter, or Juggle St, as well as local Facebook groups.

Many of my families have found me via recommendations, one of my original mums is always happy to recommend me - she makes a great pimp!

What questions do you recommend parents ask when interviewing a nanny?

When interviewing a nanny, start with practicalities: availability, flexibility with days and hours, and whether they can work during school holidays or occasional weekends if needed. It’s also important to check whether they have a driver’s licence and car (unless you’re providing one), a valid Working With Children Check, first aid knowledge, and relevant experience with children of different ages.

I also recommend inviting a prospective nanny to your home for an informal chat over a cuppa. This gives you the chance to ask questions, get a feel for them, and see how comfortable you are together. It’s also a great opportunity to observe how they interact with your child and whether that connection feels positive and natural.

Cost is a huge factor for families. Can you give a sense of the typical price range for hiring a nanny and what influences it?

A nanny’s hourly rate will depend on their experience, training and level of responsibility. For a younger or less experienced nanny, around $30 per hour is common, while more experienced nannies typically charge between $30 to $40 per hour, with some charging up to $45.

While cost is a significant consideration, many families find the flexibility, continuity of care and personalised support a nanny provides offers strong value for money. Ultimately, it’s a very personal decision based on each family’s needs and priorities.

And finally, what do you love most about this work?

I love the connection you build with a family. Not necessarily just with the children and their parents, but sometimes also with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and teachers. It gives you a fuller picture of the child and a real sense of the village it takes to raise them.

These relationships can last for years, which is deeply satisfying. I’m genuinely happy to go to work each day. Every day is different and rewarding, and I never tire of the hugs, smiles, funny conversations or the simple, heart-melting moment of a small hand slipping into mine.

Any questions for Amanda about being a nanny? Or experiences you’ve had with a nanny? Share them in the comments!

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Now back living in Sydney and mum to a two-year-old daughter, Kiya left a 15-year business career while on maternity leave to pursue a new calling: writing about motherhood through her wonderful Substack Promoted to Mother, completing a PhD on redesigning return-to-work pathways for mothers and building a suite of ventures designed to better support mothers.

It’s hard not to be inspired by Kiya’s dedication to this space. Selfishly, I’m grateful she’s a year ahead of me in this whole parenting business so I get to soak up all of her hard-won wisdom!

Enjoy this beautiful chat with the passionate and deeply thoughtful, Kiya Taylor.

1. On entering motherhood…

You moved to the other side of the world during your third trimester of pregnancy which must have been quite the experience! Tell us more about what that was like?

It was exhausting and exciting, and I don’t regret it for a second. Even though, with hindsight, it definitely added more stress than I probably wanted to admit at the time. I’ve had this dream for as long as I can remember of living overseas, and I’ve also always wanted to be a mum. So when both dreams kind of came to fruition at the same time, my view was, you know, what’s the worst that could happen?

I didn’t want to look back and think that I didn’t pursue this opportunity - which came about because of my husband’s work - out of fear of instability or unfamiliarity. Because I love adventure. And I guess I saw it as one big adventure.

I’m also grateful because it meant I had to be really deliberate in finding friends. We didn’t really know anyone when we got there. I had to practice letting go, really trusting my body that it was doing everything it needed to do, that I didn’t need to have a really close relationship with a doctor in those final weeks, because that’s just not how it works in the UK. There was a lot of trusting and surrendering, and those things turned out to be really good for me going into birth.

There were tough things, of course but honestly, it was just a really incredible experience.

How old were you when you became a mother and how did you find coming into motherhood at the age you did?

I was 30 and I actually reflect on this often because I think 30 is such a critical age for a lot of people, both from a spiritual lens and from the logical lens of it being a new decade. The twenties are such a pivotal experience of experimentation. I felt like I was already starting to shift into a different version of me, with a lot more knowledge and experience and then that was really compounded by becoming a mother, all of these things happening simultaneously.

I’m really glad that I waited until I was 30. It might sound funny because I know 30 is actually quite young for a lot of people. But I grew up in regional Australia, and 30 is old - if you haven’t had kids by 30, you’re a spinster!

Even though I’ve wanted to be a mum for years, I’m glad it happened when it did because I’ve grown and changed so much. I’ve had a really decent career, and I’m now ready for this next iteration of my work and my life. Whereas if this had happened when I was 25, it would have been a different story. Those five years have been really big for my career and my growth as a person. I’m excited to keep growing through my thirties, to do that through the real unfolding that happens in motherhood.

2. On your mother…

Tell me about your mum?

My mum is like a sister and best friend, I don’t know how else to describe it. We are very close. She had me when she was quite young and we are alike but also very different.

My mum is a very spiritual person, very intuitive. Meditation, yoga, and different types of energy work have been part of our lives since I was born. I grew up with a mum who knew what she needed to thrive. She was always someone who worked and she was always someone who figured out how to integrate her kids into that.

She’s what I’d call an entrepreneur in the most real-life sense. She managed YMCAs, opened a book café, ran a day spa, launched a beverage line, taught yoga and meditation, and wrote books, all while raising us. She’s also always been a writer in the background, self-publishing books, children’s books and poetry. In recent years, she’s really taken all of her spiritual practice and knowledge and written this huge piece of work called The One Living System, which she shares on Substack and other platforms.

Growing up, she was someone who created really gorgeous rituals for us, like watching movies together on the weekend. I still remember, later in my teens, watching Gilmore Girls for the first time. We would rent the DVDs from the movie store, and that kind of became our thing because I think we could see ourselves a little bit in their dynamic.

Now it’s really evolved. I’m a mum and she’s a grandma, and we have to find a new way for our relationship to be. You shift when you become a mother yourself - you’re still a daughter, but now you’re also a mother. It’s really beautiful to see it evolve. I’ve felt really supported by my mum. I parent probably in a very similar way to the way I was parented. There are definitely some exceptions, but I feel really lucky to have her.

What’s a piece of parenting advice or a parenting philosophy from your mother that has stayed with you?

Growing up, we lived on a farm at one stage and we had horses. I have this saying now: babies are like horses. They can sense your energy before you do. If you’re nervous, they know. If you’re happy, they know that too. I think I’ve definitely adopted her approach of being very “the baby leads.” She was very big on integrating kids into your life and I know that’s very trendy now but this was just how she did it.

I’ll never forget this moment in London when she came to stay a couple weeks after my daughter was born. I wanted to demand breastfeed and we were walking down the street one day when my daughter was three or four weeks old and needed a feed. My mum just looked at me and said, “Okay, well, this is how you learn to walk and feed.” So there I was, standing there, putting my daughter on the breast and then learning how to walk while breastfeeding her - which is probably not that advisable, but it meant that I was able to get a lot done when my mum left a few weeks later and I was there by myself, having to navigate being in a new city, being a mum, and still needing to just kind of live.

I think she did a really good job of helping me learn how to integrate a baby into your life, but also knowing when you need to stop that integration to respond, because their needs come first.

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for your own daughter?

I find this question hard, and it’s a bit conflicting for me because my childhood was very adventurous. Maybe that’s one part I’ve already tried to recreate just with the fact that she spent her first seven months of life in London.

My earliest childhood memories were growing up in Alice Springs in a very open environment. I grew up with lots of freedom to roam and play. In a city apartment, it’s harder to recreate that, but I’m figuring out ways to give her similar experiences.

3. On your child…

How would you describe your daughter?

She is fierce. Very determined. Very sensitive. Very aware.

When she was five weeks old, we took her to a museum in Oxford. A lady who worked there came up to me and asked how old she was, and was shocked when she heard her age because she could just see in her eyes and the way she held her little body that she was ready to consume the world.

She can be a little bit shy, but I think that’s just a part of the sensitivity. She’s got a funny little personality, and it’s amazing now that she’s two and talking. She’s been quite good at imaginative play in recent months, and now with her voice coming out, it’s pretty amazing to see and hear her narrate these little worlds.

I just think she’s absolutely the best.

Is there a lesson that comes to mind that she has taught you?

Oh my god, I wouldn’t know where to start.

I think we often think we’re here to teach the children, but the children are here to teach us. From very early on, I said that she was my greatest spiritual teacher to date because babies are mirrors. They show us parts of ourselves that we love. They show us parts of ourselves that we would rather ignore, but we can’t because they’re there to hold it up. She’s constantly teaching me.

She’s also taught me a lot about being in your body and experiencing your emotions. I think one of the big ways in which we incorrectly model nervous system regulation with kids is doing the classic millennial thing of shutting down or dissociating or freezing or fawning. I really want to be conscious of how I respond to my emotions and how I show up because I think that’s something she can observe.

When she’s grown up and reflecting on her childhood, how would you hope she describes you as her mum?

I want her to describe her childhood as being fun and safe and full of wonder. I want her to be able to be a child for as long as she can.

When she thinks of me when she’s a bit older, I want her to think I was present, that I was loving, that I was always still creating and still growing but finding the way in which I could do that and still be with her as much as I can be.

I want her to think of me as imperfect but always trying, always growing, and always showing her that it’s okay to feel everything.

4. On your mothering experience…

Has motherhood been what you expected it to be? How has it changed you?

I would laugh now if anyone said that it’s as they expected it to be with their first child!

When you go into motherhood, especially as someone who is the classic type-A girl boss, you think that it’s just going to be another thing that you’re going to take in your stride. That you’re just going to keep doing what you’re doing and keep being who you are. And for many women, that works. But for me, it didn’t.

Motherhood revealed parts of me that I think the person who I was becoming prior to motherhood did a really good job of drowning.

I’m really grateful that it has changed me in a way where I feel much more true. I think it’s brought out my creativity. It’s brought out my mind in a way that it’s constantly hungry to see the world in a new way and to help improve things. I actually just love who I am now. I think it’s made me happier and much more grounded.

It’s not that how I was before motherhood was an issue, it’s just that I don’t think it was a version of me that was going to help me continue to grow. I’m really, really grateful that it hasn’t been what I perhaps thought it was going to be. It’s been 10 million, 20,000 times better (and harder!).

What’s something about motherhood you think should be talked about more?

Gosh! What is spoken about enough?!

The change that women go through should be spoken about more. The discussions we have around matrescence are interesting, but not necessarily as helpful as they could be in preparing women. And as a part of preparing women, we need to prepare society for how women change through motherhood.

I think we need to do a lot more to make our society and our systems better at valuing the work mothers do, the skills they gain, and how they grow. I talk a lot on my Substack about how a mother’s capacity grows. We need to do a lot more in helping women integrate that growth into their lives in a way where they’re proud, where they don’t feel like they have to dismiss it as this home life that’s not relevant outside of the home, because it’s so relevant and it makes us so much more valuable, whether we choose to go back to paid work or not.

There’s a real care and value deficit when it comes to how society treats mothers, and that needs to be spoken about so much more. There should be a lot more discussion around the support women need to do things like breastfeed for an extended period of time and be able to be responsive, because it’s hard to do those things when you’re being forced back to work maybe sooner than ideal, because you don’t have any other options.

I think we have a lot of work to do in reshaping our systems to allow mothers to be the kind of mother they want to be. That might mean going back to work full-time after two weeks - that’s each person’s decision - but it might also mean taking leave a year after those two weeks in order to be home more. That flexibility should exist. That’s a lot of what my next career chapter will look like, exploring how we design work systems for mothers to reintegrate after maternity leave.

What has been the biggest challenge about motherhood for you?

The biggest challenge for me in motherhood has been resolving the fact that my mind and my mental capacity has only grown in wanting to create and build and do things, but my physical ability is much lower.

When you have a baby who’s a bit of a Velcro baby, and who, by both nurture and nature, wants to be with you a lot, who isn’t in external care, and who doesn’t sleep a lot, you have to be really real about what you can do and what you can’t do with your physical ability to do it. I would love to start three different businesses that help mothers, but I don’t have the physical capacity to sit down and start three different businesses while mothering.

What about the biggest pleasant surprise of motherhood?

It’s cliché, but I think it’s cliché for a reason, you just get to see the world new again, and it’s so marvellous. It’s such a wonder to be able to see a baby learning and seeing parts of the world for the first time. There are no words to describe how incredible that is.

5. On how you mother…

How would you describe your approach to motherhood?

I think it’s very instinctive, responsive, and focused on including her in my life, as opposed to feeling I have to make a different kind of day to “engage her”.

I don’t like the names of gentle parenting and all that kind of stuff because I think they’re highly misunderstood. But I focus on cultivating close attachment and making sure that my daughter has a very strong sense of safety and consistency so that she can have a strong foundation to build independence and start to understand how to regulate.

I would say that I’ve probably learned bits and pieces from lots of different responsive styles, whether it be Montessori or Steiner or gentle parenting or attached parenting. I think I’m also very good at drawing boundaries and knowing that you have to model that as well. That’s a really important part of those approaches, but I think it’s something that people often misunderstand, they think it means you’re just constantly letting them do whatever they want to do.

What are your favourite family rituals?

I’m thinking a lot about the rituals, especially as she gets bigger, that I want to make sure are very present in our family.

At the moment, some of the things we really love doing are very small things, like having a coffee together as a family. Or on Fridays we recreate pub meals at home, something we started back in Melbourne during COVID lockdowns which has been fun to continue.

One ritual I’ve had since she was very little is at the end of every day before we go to bed, we sing a little song saying thank you for all the beautiful things that have happened that day. That’s something that as she gets bigger, she sings along with me, and it’s really special. I think it’s something I want to make sure is a ritual that stays, because I think it’s important to have that gratitude and reflection.

6. On your village…

How did you find ‘your village’ in motherhood? How has that evolved between your time in the UK and Australia?

Man, this is a tough question.

On a really practical level, when I got to the UK and I was just under 30 weeks pregnant, I joined something called Bump and Baby. It was this cute little group of ten couples all living in a similar area with similar due dates. I met a couple of women through that, and they became my absolute rock. Even though I don’t live in London anymore, I still message them nearly daily, and I would say they’re my core village.

Leaving my UK village was one of the biggest heartbreaks in motherhood. The village is hard to build in Sydney, it looks different. We’ve got beautiful friends here, but they’re all in different stages.

Though one thing that’s been really confronting is this idea I reflect on often: you need to grieve what you didn’t know you needed and then figure out how to make the best of what’s in front of you.

I’m feeling really hopeful that as my daughter grows, there’ll be other opportunities to continue evolving and growing that village.

What’s the best thing another mum has done to support you?

I don’t think it’s been so much one thing, but more just the small continuous moments where people answer your messages and where you just feel like you have company. I think that’s one thing that really surprised me in motherhood - it’s lonely. It’s lonelier than I think anyone leads you to believe. So just having people on the other end of the phone and having people in person has made all the difference.

7. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

How did you find the initial adjustment from career Kiya to motherhood Kiya?

It was huge. I often reflect on the fact that because I moved countries at the same time as taking a somewhat “undefined” period of maternity leave, I had to really confront who I was without all the labels and attachments of my career and the person I was before motherhood. So it was very cold turkey, in a sense.

But I also had a lot of things in the weeks and months after landing in London to distract me. I wrote about this on The Plnty Edit not long ago - it’s easier to distract from the whole “oh my god, I’m completely career naked” when you need to get your house ready and find friends and get registered at a hospital.

I’d say it wasn’t until actually after giving birth and then in those first few months where a lot of those tensions really hit. Much of the discomfort I experienced was realising that I actually no longer wanted to be the past version of me and I wanted the transformation and reinvention of my career.

And so I did that, and it’s taken time. I mean, it’s only been in the last six months that it’s all come together. I’m really grateful for the fact that motherhood Kiya is now going to be career Kiya and vice versa. But it takes time.

I think one of the biggest tragedies we do is not supporting women enough through that process. It’s hard. I talk about it as being this really big spiritual transformation because you shed so many ideals and so many labels and so many things you think you know about yourself. And you do that often quite alone.

It’s actually a lot simpler and easier to run back to who you were, to run back to that version. The reality is that you might like that version better, and that’s okay too. But if you are in a process where you actually really want to be this different person, or this revealed person, this revealed part of you, then it takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of patience, and it’s hard, and it hurts. But I think the most incredible transformations of life involve those things. This is no different. I just think we need to support mothers better.

What does ‘work’ look like for you in this life season? Can ‘the blend’ exist?

I do think the blend can exist and for me, it’s taken a lot of reflection, experimentation and putting myself out there to figure it out.

I have completely transformed my career after being in startups/VC/corporate roles before motherhood.

I realised that motherhood is the topic I want to focus my career on - specifically the intersection of motherhood and work and redesigning how we think about work formats so that women can create that blend.

I really want to be able to help - not just destigmatise the way in which work and motherhood can be integrated - but also support women with the actual tools and insights to practically implement it.

So I’m now doing a PhD on that topic, and writing my Substack on it as well. And the entrepreneur in me lives on as I’m also exploring a few different ventures, all focused around different aspects of motherhood.

Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

Absolutely. It has grown tenfold which is terrifying because I was already an ambitious person!

But it’s also a different type of ambition. I no longer am ambitious about being the CEO of a tech company. I’m ambitious about being able to do work that matters and to feel like I am helping other mothers. And most importantly, to feel like I can get that sense of fulfillment outside of the house while also being able to have control over how much I’m in the home and how much I am present as a mother.

Ambition for me now is trying to get that blend right and to be able to help other mothers do the same.

What does self-care look like for you in this life season?

Honestly, self-care looks like moments of grace, being able to be kind to myself.

My writing has been my biggest act of self-care, and I (perhaps to a fault) prioritise that over other acts often.

Self-care is definitely not what it used to look like for me, there are no consistent meditations or daily workouts. Some days self-care is just having the opportunity to have an “everything shower.”

It’s also being able to invest in looking after my body. Not necessarily always having the time to exercise, unfortunately, but making sure that I can get to the osteopath regularly if I’m feeling sore, or getting a massage every now and then. Those, to me, have been huge acts of self-care.

8. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could impart wisdom to a mum in her first year of motherhood, what would it be?

Embrace the transformation. Hold tight to the things you value most. Allow your priorities to shift. Find a North Star, and know that you can come back to it whenever you feel unsteady.

Growth is painful, but staying the same can be even more painful in the long run.

Know that time shifts in ways that don’t necessarily make sense, and that all the moments with your baby can be both inexplicably wonderful and hard at the same time. Know that two things can be true at once, even if they feel opposing.

Know that you are infinitely capable of this journey and that the best is just beginning. Know that the journey ahead will be better than you could have ever imagined.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age/stage so far: All of them, for different reasons.

2. Parenting hack everyone should know: Download an app like Chatbooks and upload photos each month or quarter in order to be able to have them printed without much effort.

3. Book/podcast/Substack/influencer recommendation for motherhood inspo: Gosh, I’m not a good person to ask this question because I honestly try to avoid a lot of motherhood influences. I think that Nurtured First on Instagram is amazing, as is Raised Good and Good Night Moon Child. Those are accounts that I think are quite beautiful. Honestly, my recommendation is just that “MumStack” – which is what we call the motherhood section of Substack – is so rich, and you will find so many stories and people who can share experiences that help you feel seen.

4. Go to easy family dinner: A ‘one pot wonder’ of Pasta sorts will always win for me

5. Best family holiday destination: Anywhere in Europe! We had an incredible time going through different countries in Europe when my daughter was three and a half months old, because train travel is SO much easier with a kid. I would say definitely go in the cooler months, not the warmer months. We are about to go back to Europe with a two-year-old in the cooler months, so I’ll have to report back as to whether or not that is still my favourite family holiday destination.

Want more of Kiya’s wisdom? Be sure to subscribe to her Substack, Promoted to Mother.

Life has a funny way of surprising you, though. And teaching you plenty of lessons along the way.

When I was a kid, I remember noticing that my parents were older than a lot of my friend’s parents. They were 34 and nearly 37 respectively when I was born. I vowed that when I started my own family one day, I’d definitely have kids well before 30. Of course that milestone birthday came and went and I was too busy living my life to feel even close to ready.

Meeting my partner young meant it could have been possible to have children earlier, a possibility I probably took for granted. But it also meant we were firmly cemented in the ‘we have plenty of time’ camp for maybe longer than we might have been had we met later. Time can creep up on you like that.

Travel. Careers. Saving for a house deposit in Sydney (IYKYK) and our favourite hobby of eating and drinking filled those years very easily.

Then the pandemic hit. Travel was off the cards. Our favourite restaurants were shut. With us both working from home, suddenly not living in a one bedroom apartment became extra appealing and house hunting was firmly on the agenda. And the call - that ticking biological clock, perhaps - to start a family suddenly got louder.

Which isn’t to say that path was a smooth one. Infertility got us good. They were some of the hardest years of my life. And when we eventually arrived at parenthood, I was 39 and Paul was 40.

Having a baby when you’re on the older side gets a bad wrap (somebody really needs to rebrand the term geriatric pregnancy, for starters).

And in part that’s completely fair: there’s no denying there are fertility and health implications.

But I’m really at peace with becoming a mum at this age for a number of reasons and I actually love it.

19 year-old Nic (and certainly nine-year old Nic who thought her parents were old) might have been horrified at that prospect but here’s what I’ve found to be the unexpected upsides of joining the motherhood club at (nearly) 40.

1. Feeling more “me” than ever

I’ve arrived at motherhood feeling more confident, more calm, more comfortable in my own skin and my decision-making than at any other stage of my life. I’m clear on my values and what matters to me. I didn’t realise how helpful this all would be until I was responsible for a tiny human 24/7, where every day is filled with moments of needing to trust and back myself.

2. A strong foundation

After 20 years together, my relationship with my husband was in a solid place to toss in the grenade that is a newborn. Not that we don’t have our moments, but knowing each other so well and having weathered a lot together over the years has definitely helped us thrive, not just, survive in this first year of parenthood.

3. The gift of perspective

I’ve scratched that burning travel itch of my 20s and 30s and seen some of my favourite places, while holding a fresh appetite for seeing new and old places with my daughter (and one day as a couple or solo traveller again!)

I’ve built my career, got to do some amazing things and have a firm foundation to return to post maternity leave. The financial security of being a little older is a pretty big silver lining too.

It’s also given me the push I needed to be a little braver, to finally do things I’ve always wanted to do, like write on the internet for myself (not just for work) - hello Substack! - freelance and use my skills in new ways.

4. Knowing the kind of mum I want to be

I know more clearly than ever what kind of mum I want to be and how I want to show up for my daughter.

I also know that to be the best mum I can - and the best wife, friend and daughter-in-law too - I need to fill my cup along the way. Younger Nic took a while to catch onto that lesson.

Maybe that’s one of the greatest gifts of doing this later - knowing myself well enough to know what I need.

I’ll never be sure exactly what role age played in our fertility challenges. And of course it’s easy to say this now, with the benefit of hindsight and a healthy daughter in my arms. But becoming a mum at (nearly) 40 feels like exactly how it was meant to go for me.

Sometimes, life’s delays are really just its way of getting the timing right. Maybe 40 really is the new 30, after all.

I’d love to know, how old were you when you become a mother and how did you find the experience at that age?

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After years in both hospital and community roles, Megan founded Learn Latch Love, a space where parents can find evidence-based, down-to-earth support around birth preparation and infant feeding. Her work supports families through pregnancy, birth and the whirlwind of early parenthood - those raw, beautiful, sleep-deprived months that can be equal parts joy and chaos.

“My “why” has always been simple: to help families feel seen, supported and empowered to make choices that work for them. Every baby, every parent and every feeding journey looks a little different, and that’s exactly how it should be.”

Alongside her private practice, Megan works with Dr Hugh Porter and the team at Sydney Babies, providing antenatal and postnatal support to families across the Northern Beaches and North Shore while also working at Northern Beaches Hospital, supporting women and their families as they bring their babies into the world.

When she’s not with clients, you’ll usually find her baking something sweet, enjoying a hot cup of tea, or reading a romance novel.

Enjoy getting to know the warm and articulate, Megan Hangan.

Can you share a little about your career journey and what led you to become both a lactation consultant and a midwife?

I actually started my career as a paediatric nurse, where I learned some of my most fundamental caregiving skills. I made lifelong friends in that first year and I still say that if I ever gave up midwifery and went back to nursing, paediatrics would still have my heart.

It didn’t take long before I signed up to do my Graduate Diploma in Midwifery and I haven’t looked back since. In those early years, I loved being part of that “Disney moment” when a baby was born, meeting a couple, bonding with them, supporting them and watching them become a family. It was truly magical.

Over time though, my love for birth has evolved. What I find most incredible now is seeing women in their most powerful selves - a version of themselves they didn’t know existed until the day they met their baby. It still gives me a warm rush every time I see a woman hold her baby skin-to-skin for the first time, look down in awe and then look up at us with that mix of shock and pride, like, “I did it.”

When I had my first boy, I thought breastfeeding would come naturally. It was a non-negotiable in my mind; of course I was going to breastfeed. But it was so much harder than I expected. I silently struggled for weeks, never seeking proper help, assuming as a midwife I should already know what to do. Everyone I did speak to just told me it would get better. By the time I finally saw an IBCLC, things had improved and we went on to have a beautiful long breastfeeding journey.

That experience opened my eyes. It made me realise how little structured breastfeeding education there actually was in midwifery training. Most of what we learned was on the job, independently, without many opportunities to observe or learn from others. I knew then that I wanted to be able to provide women with better postnatal and feeding support than I had received myself, so I started focusing my professional development around breastfeeding, which then leaned into me completing my masters in midwifery and sitting the exam to become an IBCLC.

When I had my second baby, I was wiser and more experienced and that journey was much smoother. But as he grew, the idea of returning to more hospital shifts felt daunting. My husband works in a busy corporate role (and runs ultra marathons on the side), and shift work just didn’t fit around family life or school hours.

That’s what led me to start Learn Latch Love. I wanted to continue my hospital work at Northern Beaches Hospital, but also have the flexibility to offer home visits and provide high-quality, uninterrupted postnatal care - the kind that isn’t always possible in a busy ward environment where you’re constantly juggling admissions, discharges, pain relief and everything in between.

Now, I get to do the work I love most: supporting women and families through one of the most transformative times in their lives, with the time, care and presence they truly deserve.

For those who might not know, how would you describe what a lactation consultant does?

A lactation consultant is a qualified health professional who specialises in all aspects of infant feeding. We’re experts in breastfeeding and lactation and our role is to support families to reach their own feeding goals, whatever that looks like for them.

That support often begins during pregnancy, through antenatal education that helps parents understand what to expect, how milk production works and how to get feeding off to a good start. After birth, it might mean helping with latching or positioning, assessing milk supply, managing pain, supporting exclusive pumping, or working through more complex feeding issues like tongue ties, prematurity or low weight gain. We also support families who choose to mix or formula feed, because every feeding journey deserves the same care and respect.

It’s about combining evidence-based clinical knowledge with practical, realistic support that meets families where they’re at.

What does a typical day at work look like for you?

Every day looks a little different, which is one of the things I love most about my work.

On Mondays and Fridays, I run a midwife clinic at Sydney Babies where I provide antenatal midwifery care, birth education and postnatal visits for families up to six weeks postpartum. I really value the continuity I get to experience with these families, walking alongside them from pregnancy through to those early weeks at home.

Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays (or sometimes Saturday/Sunday) are usually home visit days, with around two to three visits each day. These might be antenatal consultations focused on breastfeeding or birth preparation, or postnatal visits for feeding support. While infant feeding is often the main reason families reach out, our visits usually include a birth debrief, postnatal check and emotional support too. Sometimes I also work with women who are planning their return to work, helping them navigate breastfeeding, expressing and introducing bottles.

I still try to do one hospital shift every couple of weeks at Northern Beaches Hospital to get my “birth fix,” though it’s becoming trickier as my business grows because I really struggle to turn families away.

What kinds of issues or needs do women usually come to you with?

Most women come to me for help with pain, attachment, understanding if their baby is getting enough milk, weight gain or supply issues and introducing bottles. I also support a lot of women who are planning their return to work and want to continue breastfeeding.

Each situation is different, but most families are simply looking for reassurance, practical guidance and a plan that helps feeding feel more manageable and less stressful.

When is the best time to engage with an expert like yourself?

The best time to see a lactation consultant is often before your baby arrives. Antenatal education can make a huge difference in setting realistic expectations, understanding how milk production works and learning how to get breastfeeding off to a good start.

That said, many families don’t realise they need support until feeding feels hard and that’s completely okay too. Whether it’s day two or week eight, it’s never too early or too late to reach out for help. The sooner we can identify what’s going on, the easier it usually is to make things more comfortable and get feeding back on track.

Early intervention with nipple pain or damage can also make a big difference. Addressing attachment and positioning early can prevent further injury, improve milk transfer and help protect supply and comfort in the long term. Small adjustments early on can often save a lot of stress later.

If someone books in for the first time, what might they expect from that initial session?

During an initial consultation, my main goal is to listen and understand what’s happening for the family. We start with a thorough discussion about pregnancy, birth and how feeding has been going so far. From there, I’ll observe a feed, assess attachment and positioning, and look for any signs of pain, milk transfer issues or supply concerns.

I often weigh the baby, check feeding patterns and talk through what’s normal and what might need adjusting. Together we create a plan that feels realistic and achievable for the family, with clear next steps to follow.

If I notice something that needs further assessment, such as low tone, tongue tie or medical concerns, I can refer to other trusted health professionals to ensure families get the right support. Most families leave the session with a clearer understanding of what’s happening and practical strategies they can start using straight away.

What’s something you wish all mums-to-be knew about breastfeeding?

I wish every mum-to-be knew that latch is everything. The way you hold and position your baby directly affects how well they can attach and feed. A shallow latch often means more pain for you and less milk for your baby.

It’s also important to know that latch isn’t about what it looks like from the outside, but what it feels like. If something feels pinchy, painful or if your baby keeps slipping off, that’s a sign to pause and readjust. Small tweaks to positioning can make a big difference to comfort and milk transfer.

Understanding this early can help prevent nipple damage, protect supply and make feeding a much more positive experience for both mum and baby

Don’t tolerate a poor latch, just because baby is ‘on’, you may come to regret that in the days that follow.

Are there any myths about breastfeeding you’d love to clear up?

There are quite a few myths but one of the biggest is that breastfeeding should just “come naturally.” Back in the day, we raised our children in villages where we grew up watching women mother and breastfeed. It was the norm, and when someone struggled, there were older, wiser women who could guide and support her. We don’t have that kind of village anymore, yet we have such high expectations of ourselves. Breastfeeding is a learned skill for both you and your baby. Even if you’ve fed four babies, you’ve never fed this baby before. It takes time, patience and the right support to find your rhythm together.

Another myth is that breastfeeding should always be completely painless, which I really struggle with. Of course, many women experience breastfeeding as comfortable from the beginning, but for others, the nipples can be sensitive or tender at first, even without any damage, simply because they’ve never experienced that kind of tension before. Ongoing pain or tenderness needs to be addressed, as it’s a warning sign from the body that something isn’t quite right. But in that first week, a little sensitivity is to be expected. Beyond that, breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful

What are some of your favourite client success stories?

There are so many families who stay in my mind for different reasons.

One mum I met hadn’t planned to breastfeed at all. Late in her pregnancy she decided she might give it a go but after a really tough first week with pain, latch issues and an unsettled baby, she chose to stop. We worked through a plan together to help her wean. A few weeks later she reached out again, saying she wanted to try expressing instead, she yearned to breastfeed her baby but wasn’t so keen on putting the baby back to the breast. Bit by bit, we worked on gradually increasing her supply and finding a rhythm that suited her and her baby so she could give her baby bottles of expressed breastmilk. It reminded me how powerful it can be when women are supported to make feeding choices that truly work for them.

Another mum I saw early on was struggling with mastitis and nipple damage. We focused on guiding her through recovery from the mastitis, improving latch and protecting her supply while things healed. Difficult experiences with a first baby can often carry forward, bringing anxieties and doubts into future feeding journeys. Through clinical assessment, reassurance and ongoing support, she began to feel more confident and comfortable, knowing her baby was thriving. To help her reach that point and see the shift in her confidence was incredibly satisfying.

Another mum I provided support to early on in her feeding journey, and her goal was to get to 6 months, but was taking it one week at a time. I met with her for a return to work session several months down the track, to plan what breastfeeding might look like when she went back to her high pressure job. She was surprised and relieved to know return to work didn’t have to mean weaning her baby and she updated me six months after returning to work to let me know they were still feeding and loving it!

With so many practitioners out there, what should people keep in mind when choosing the right lactation consultant? Any red flags?

When choosing a lactation consultant, look for someone who is an IBCLC, which stands for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It’s the only internationally recognised qualification for lactation care and requires formal study, clinical training and ongoing education. There are also wonderful breastfeeding counsellors and supporters out there, but their scope is different, so it’s good to know who you’re seeing and what kind of care they can provide.

It’s also important that your consultant is a registered health professional and has professional indemnity insurance. That gives you an added layer of accountability and protection.

As for red flags, be cautious of anyone who guarantees pain-free breastfeeding for everyone or claims they can fix every problem in one session. Feeding is complex, and every mother-baby pair is different. Look for someone who listens, explains things clearly, works collaboratively with other health professionals and supports your goals, not their own agenda.

And honestly, trust your gut. You should feel heard, respected and comfortable. The right consultant will help you feel empowered, not overwhelmed.

And lastly, what do you love most about working in this space?

What I love most is being invited into such an intimate and transformative time in people’s lives. Those first few weeks of becoming a parent are raw and real and it’s a privilege to walk alongside families as they find their feet. I love seeing the moment things start to click, when a parent begins to trust themselves, their baby and the process. It’s not always about achieving a perfect feed; it’s about helping families feel confident and supported, no matter what their feeding journey looks like. There’s something really special about witnessing that quiet shift from uncertainty to connection. It never loses its magic for me.

But I can’t miss mentioning the babies, all those delicious, soft, squidgy little humans who smell so good, I do adore a sneaky baby cuddle if one is offered to me.

You can find Megan at learnlatchlove.com.au or on Instagram at @learnlatchlove

In 2020, Nell found herself in a new country, jobless and with little support. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, caring for her two-year-old son while navigating a separation from her Australian partner which meant even if she wanted to return to the other side of the world, she couldn’t.

Fast forward to today and the mum to seven-year-old Vinny is the owner of Soul Agenda Yoga and Pilates in Sydney’s Balmain where she’s cultivated a truly beautiful community and a ‘friends you choose as family’ connection that she so dearly craved during those challenging Covid-19 days.

You can’t help but be inspired by Nell’s passion and resilience. Enjoy this chat with the wonderful Nell Wengert.

1. On your child…

How would you describe your son, Vinny?

I’m just so in love with him it’s hard to find the words. For a long time we had nobody else but each other. I had just arrived in Australia with no friends, no support, no family and then Covid hit. It was very isolating but it made us even closer.

He is very thoughtful and kind-hearted. He’s smart, fun and has a good sense of humour. I just love everything about him and the way he carries himself in the world.

Is there a lesson that comes to mind that Vinny has taught you?

He’s taught me so much about myself and my own childhood. He’s really helped me foster a sense of self-love and self-compassion and even self-worth. It’s in the little things too. For example, walking down the street one day, I changed sides so I was walking closer to the cars. When he asked me why, I told him how precious children are. He said, “Mummy, you are just as precious as me.”

We have really open conversations that show me just how much he deeply trusts me and the power in that. He tells me what happened during the day at school, the little worries he has and things that are on his mind. He doesn’t shy away from conflict either. He’ll call me out and say, “Hey Mum, I didn’t like the way you said that” or “That makes me feel this way.” He’s very intuitive.

When he grows up and reflects on his childhood, how would you hope he describes you as his mum?

Loving. I don’t know if I always felt loved as a child. It felt quite conditional on achievements. So Vinny simply feeling loved for being himself is very important to me.

2. On your mother…

Can you tell me a little about your mum and your relationship?

My mum is brave, strong and loving but also very strict. I think because she didn’t have an easy time in life, that hardened her.

She was super young, only 21, when she became a mother. She lives in Germany so I don’t see her often, the last time was about 18 months ago. There was also a long stretch of not much connection between us. My mum thinks I’m very self-sufficient and that she doesn’t need to worry about me which can be tough.

3. On how you mother…

How would you describe your experience of being a single-child family?

I knew a lot of couples separate in those first two years of having a child so I wanted to give us until that milestone to see if we could come out the other side, to see if it might get easier. It didn’t.

Even though he was only two, I think Vinny understood. There was tension between his dad and me, but when it was just the two of us, he relaxed, even subconsciously. Until that age, he didn’t sleep very well but when we moved house, he started to sleep much better. He still saw his dad so it wasn’t a huge disturbance for him and we talked it all through, in a child-friendly way of course.

For me though, as a single mum in a foreign continent, so far away from everything I knew, it was the hardest thing on this planet. During Covid I lost my job, I was apart from family and I wasn’t allowed to leave Australia because I share a child with an Australian, which meant I was stuck here. I had the responsibilities, I felt like the world was on my shoulders but not having residency, I didn’t get any government support. I was exhausted to the bone. And then I got Covid badly too.

That was the worst time but I’m super proud of myself. I look back and I can’t believe how strong I was. Vinny and I really made the best out of it. We embraced that time together the best we could, connecting on such a deep level - something nobody can ever take from us

We had great support from neighbours who cooked us dinners, that was simple but so special.

What are your favourite - big and/or small - family rituals?

We’ve always done slow mornings. When Vinny wakes up, he comes into my bed. We read a book, we cuddle, we play little games. It’s the best. We’ve always done that and it’s a really sweet way to start the day.

4. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

What does co-parenting look like for you?

I’m the main caregiver. Vinny sleeps over at his dad’s place three or four times a month.

Those first two years when we separated were a hard adjustment for him. He went through a lot of acceptance and anger that gradually eased over time.

My message to other mums going through the same thing would be to be patient. Put boundaries and processes in place from the beginning and document everything. It does get easier over time.

What did your career look like before kids? Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

My parents had a building company and I followed in their footsteps becoming an engineer. But I started to question the purpose of it all. Seeing how unkind people could be and how everything seemed money-focused didn’t sit well with me.

I started practicing yoga because I had a lot of stress in my life. I remember returning from a camping trip and reading a feature in a magazine, the way this woman spoke about yoga was so inspiring. The next day, I went to my first yoga class and it wasn’t long before I became a teacher. I quit my apartment, my job. It didn’t feel like a decision, it was more like a calling. Now I get to lead a beautiful community at Soul Agenda and it really is a very special way to show up in the world, both professionally and personally.

How has being a mother influenced the incredible work you do with your wonderful business, Soul Agenda?

One of the classes I teach at Soul Agenda is kids yoga. It’s incredible seeing the awareness and openness this generation has. Are they wild and distracted sometimes? Absolutely! But it’s a beautiful chaos and I know they take a lot from it.

I actually received a photo from one of the mums of her little boy meditating in the back seat of their car. He was off to the dentist, feeling scared, and said “I might meditate.” Most adults don’t use tools like meditation that intuitively. It makes me really hopeful for the future.

5. On your village…

How did you find ‘your village’ in motherhood?

I found prenatal and postnatal yoga really great for this. It’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about teaching these classes. You connect with other mums, find people on the same wavelength and get the support you need. I found the app Peanut really great too. Connecting with the parents of Vinny’s friends has been another way. That’s good because it’s not as direct, making new friends as an adult can be hard, and kids give you a great excuse to connect.

I actually found my very best friend in my mother’s group and we became single mums around the same time. Having someone else going through similar things was a huge support.

6. On your mothering experience…

Has motherhood been what you expected it to be? How has it changed you?

I feel like my transition to motherhood was a very slow one! I’d been told I might not be able to have kids, so it was a shock to fall pregnant after I had made peace with not having children. Then there were just so many changes for me all at once - a new country, a new language, a new profession, a new partner. It was a lot to adapt to.

I found the sleep deprivation tough too, it blurs your mind for so long you can’t think straight. I had zero support. It was really hard and I feel like this is why I just have one child. Interestingly though, I never felt any resentment at all towards Vinny. He gave me the strength to keep on going.

What’s something about motherhood you think should be talked about more?

I think we should talk more about what that post-natal time is really like - how to prepare for it, what happens to your body, what happens to your mind, who to call if you need support.

People are often hesitant to share anything negative because they don’t want to scare you. For me though, I would have preferred to have been more mentally prepared for what was to come. I witness so many postnatal and prenatal mums through my classes and loneliness and loss of independence is a big thing. Everything becomes about this child and it’s a huge shift.

7. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could impart wisdom to a mum in her first year of motherhood, what would it be?

You’re not alone. Across the world, countless women are moving through the very same things at the very same time you are. There’s real comfort in that. In the thick of it, it can feel endless but nothing lasts forever.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age/stage so far: Six months. They’re starting to move, to crawl, to play, to giggle, to smile. They’re starting to be a human, they’re starting to show who they are.

2. Parenting hack everyone should know: Don’t buy everything brand new.

3. Book/podcast/Substack/influencer recommendation for motherhood inspo: I actually found I listened more to myself so my advice would be, get less advice!

4. Go-to easy family dinner: Vinny always loves his protein so tofu and broccoli is popular at our place.

5. Best family holiday destination: We host an annual yoga family retreat in Mudgee which is very special to not only our Soul Agenda community but to my little family too.

If you’re in Sydney, be sure to check out Soul Agenda Yoga and Pilates and give them a follow on Instagram too.

They say babies don’t need many things. And it is true. But…! When you’re starting from scratch with your first child there are still a lot of things to research and buy even if you are trying to be minimalist (you can read the 18 items I swear by here).

The item that turned out to be a real MVP though: a humble freezer.

Which probably says a lot about both my love of food and my natural inclination to be prepared.

What started as an idea to maybe rent one, turned into searching Facebook Marketplace for a second hand one (usually a winning strategy but oh so many duds) and ultimately buying a brand new one. Which I justified by saying we’d use it for a few months then sell it.

Not so much. That freezer now not only stocks meals for my husband and I - food prep being more valuable than ever with life in full swing - but also food lovingly made for my daughter that currently has a strike rate of around 50:50 making it into her mouth versus ending up on the floor (another post perhaps!)

All that to say, a freezer full of food continues to be a winning happy household strategy well beyond the fourth trimester. It got me thinking that it might be helpful to share the recipe books and meals that helped fill our MVP and keep the sleep-deprived adults fed and happy.

Book inspo #1: Village for Mama by Leila Armour

I absolutely love this book. The recipes are so delicious, easy to follow and the perfect combination of comforting and nourishing. Plus, it comes with recipe cards that you can give to friends and family when they offer to cook for you (so you don’t end up with five lasagnes) or even better, if you decide to have a meal train.

If you need an extra excuse to support mum of three Leila, she has her second set of twins on the way and is an absolute super mum!

Recipes we love:

• Apple, Pear and Ginger Crumble

• Chicken and Bacon Pâté

• Nourishing Chicken Soup

• Pork, Apple & Fennel Rolls

• Midnight Muffins

• Seeded Sweet Potato Loaf

• Cottage Pie

Book inspo #2: Cocoon: Food to Fuel Postpartum by Naomi Chrisoulakis

Naomi is a postpartum doula and a wonderful advocate for women nurturing themselves in the fourth trimester and beyond.

Her recipes are homely, warming, nourishing crowd-pleasers. I also love that this is an eBook so I always have it on my phone if I need a quick ingredients check when I’m at the shops.

Recipes we love:

• Ginger and apricot chicken tagine

• Chocolate zucchini loaf (I add choc chips and a little apple sauce)

• Kitchari

• Banana, oat and chia muffins

• Red date and ginger infusion

Naomi is also famous for her Cocoon Cookie Mix which you simply need to add coconut oil and eggs to. They are so good! And make a lovely gift for an expecting mum too.

Other dishes that were freezer winners:

• Lasagne - a classic for a reason

• Spag bol

• Chicken/pork/beef meatballs

• Dhal

• San choy bow

Best ever choc chip lactation cookies

And of course, as promised, THE best chocolate chip cookies. Now technically they are lactation cookies but use that information as you will. They’re perfectly fine for anyone to eat but if you happen to be breastfeeding and want an excuse to keep them all to yourself, I don’t blame you.

I’ve adapted them slightly from a recipe my wonderful postpartum doula Amy Watson used from Eating Bird Food. I still eat these every week so they have definitely been tried and tested! The best part is they freeze really well so you can always have cookies on hand which is a parenting survival tactic I stand by. I’ve also made a variation with white chocolate chips and macadamias that was chef’s kiss.

Makes 12

Ingredients

• 2T ground flaxseed

• ⅓ C water

• 170g quick oats

• 66g oat flour

• 3T brewers yeast

• 1/2t baking powder

• 1/2t baking soda

• 1/2t cinnamon

• Smidge of salt

• 120g coconut sugar

• 92g coconut oil

• 1t vanilla extract

• 1/2 C 70% dark chocolate chips

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius

2. Make flaxseed eggs mix in a cup: whisk flaxseed with water and let sit while you prep the other ingredients.

3. In a medium mixing bowl add the dry ingredients (quick oats, oat flour, brewers yeast, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt).

4. In a large mixing bowl, add coconut sugar, coconut oil, vanilla extract and the flaxseed mixture.

5. Add the dry ingredients to wet and mix in the chop chips.

6. Spoon mixture into 12 balls onto a lined tray with a spoon and flatten slightly.

7. Bake for around 10 minutes (you want them slightly brown around the edges but still nice and soft when they come out of the oven)

8. Enjoy warm, room temp or from the fridge - they’re all good! You can also freeze the raw mixture or after they’ve been baked, both work super well. Try to stop at one. Impossible.

What are your favourite freezer friendly meals? Let us know in the comments

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Next up in our expert series demystifying the professions that might be helpful additions to your motherhood village (check out part one with pelvic floor physiotherapist, Stephanie Kyrgias) we’re joined by Emma Quine, a caring acupuncturist passionate about supporting women through every stage of motherhood.

Operating out of clinics in Sydney’s Marrickville and Leichhardt, Emma brings more than 16 years’ experience specialising in acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine.

When she’s not at her Inner West clinics, you’ll find her climbing, hiking, road-tripping, sneaking to the beach, gardening, singing in a choir, or planning her next adventure:

“I’m always seeking balance, nature, connection, and growth.”

Away from work, she has a rescue toy poodle, Maple, and a chocolate Burmese cat, Archie, and is the proud aunt to twin girls and their little brother. Enjoy getting to know all things acupuncture with the lovely Emma!

1. What first drew you to acupuncture?

From about 16, I became fascinated by plants, herbs and the ways the body can support its own wellbeing. Acupuncture felt like the perfect path – it’s been around for thousands of years, can support so many different concerns and blends energetic healing with practical, tangible results.

I love that it holds me accountable to “walk my talk,” practising what I teach and helps me maintain balance in my own life while supporting others to find theirs. I hold a Diploma in Health Science and a Bachelor of Health Science in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Beijing.

2. How would you describe what an acupuncturist does?

We look at the whole person – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Using acupuncture needles, heat lamps and other tools, we help to clear blockages and restore flow, so that people feel more balanced and well

3. If someone feels nervous about needles, what would you say to them?

I reassure them that we’ll start gently, with just two or three very fine needles. I might ask them to open and close their hands, take deep breaths or we simply chat to take their mind off it. Most people are surprised at how insignificant the sensation is, often there’s no pain at all.

4. What kinds of issues or needs do people usually come to you with?

Such a wide variety! But I do tend to attract women with mild anxiety, hormonal changes and digestive issues. Predominantly though I see women who come to me for natural fertility, IVF and pregnancy support.

5. Acupuncture is often recommended alongside fertility treatment. Why is that?

Acupuncture may support fertility on a number of levels. It’s well known for reducing stress and calming the nervous system, which is so important when navigating the emotional ups and downs of IVF or trying to conceive. Treatment may also improve blood flow to the ovaries and uterus, which in turn supports healthy egg development, implantation and a nourishing uterine lining.

For men, acupuncture may help improve sperm quality by supporting circulation and reducing inflammation. It also works to balance hormones and promote overall wellbeing, so that both partners feel more resilient and supported during what can be an intense process.

Many people also find that having acupuncture during fertility treatment gives them a sense of calm, clarity, and control, a chance to pause and reconnect with their body during a time that can otherwise feel very clinical.

6. How can acupuncture help during pregnancy and even in the lead-up to birth?

In the first trimester, acupuncture may help to “secure” the pregnancy, calm the mind, and ease common symptoms such as nausea, fatigue and anxiety. As pregnancy progresses, treatments can support the body by relieving hip, pelvic, neck and shoulder tension, improving sleep and maintaining energy levels.

Because acupuncture stimulates the release of natural endorphins, it offers a safe and effective option for many pregnancy concerns at a time when paracetamol is often the only medication considered suitable.

From around 36 weeks, I also offer acupuncture for labour preparation. These sessions may help ripen the cervix, regulate hormones, calm the mind and are thought to support a smoother labour process and potentially shorten its duration.

7. If someone books in for the first time, what might they expect from that initial session?

Your first appointment is all about feeling heard, cared for and relaxed. We start with a detailed consultation, where I’ll ask about your health history, current concerns and goals for treatment. From there, I’ll put together a treatment plan that feels comfortable and tailored to you.

Once you’re settled on the treatment table, very fine acupuncture needles are gently inserted = most people hardly feel them at all. After a few minutes, it’s common to feel deeply relaxed, sometimes even drifting off to sleep. Clients often describe leaving their first session feeling lighter, calmer and more connected to themselves.

8. What are some of your most memorable motherhood-related success stories that demonstrate the power of acupuncture?

One of the most moving experiences I’ve had was supporting a woman after a stillbirth. She came to me deeply grieving and we worked together weekly to support her physically and emotionally. Through gentle acupuncture and personalised care, she gradually found balance and hope again. She went on to conceive naturally and now has two healthy children.

Another client, 42, with an AMH of 1, conceived naturally and had a healthy baby after multiple miscarriages and unsuccessful IVF attempts. Acupuncture helped ease her anxiety about another miscarriage and supported her emotionally and physically through her journey to her second dream baby. She now has two healthy children.

I’ve also had the unforgettable moment when a client’s waters broke on the treatment table during a labour prep session - a real testament to how supportive acupuncture can be during pregnancy!

And then there’s a woman in her late thirties with severe endometriosis, planning just one IVF cycle before a hysterectomy. She got one embryo, and it successfully implanted. Despite a very tough pregnancy with daily vomiting, bleeding and pain, we worked together weekly through her fertility journey and pregnancy. Her son is now 13 – truly a miracle baby.

These experiences show me the profound impact acupuncture can have in supporting women through every stage of fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood.

9. With so many practitioners out there, what should people keep in mind when choosing the right acupuncturist? Any red flags?

It’s really important to make sure your practitioner is registered with AHPRA (the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency). Registration means they’ve completed a Bachelor degree in Chinese Medicine and adhere to strict professional and ethical standards, including regular continuing education and a code of conduct.

Other good signs include a practitioner who takes a thorough case history, listens carefully, and explains your treatment options clearly. You should feel comfortable, safe and respected in their care.

As for red flags, be cautious of anyone who isn’t AHPRA-registered or who makes big promises or guarantees of a “cure.” Acupuncture is a powerful therapy but it works best when it’s tailored to the individual and integrated into a holistic approach to health.

10. What’s one myth you’d love to bust?

That dry needling is the same as acupuncture. They’re completely different. Dry needling, often practised by physios or chiropractors after a short course, mainly targets muscle pain. Acupuncture, rooted in over 2,000 years of Chinese Medicine, works holistically – supporting emotional wellbeing, fertility, hormonal balance and overall energy. It’s a whole-body approach, based on centuries of experience and requires a four-year university degree in science plus hundreds of hours of clinical training, not just treating symptoms.

11. And lastly, what do you love most about working in this space?

I love that this work keeps me accountable to living in balance and flow, while supporting women through some of the most meaningful moments in their lives. Guiding clients through fertility, pregnancy, or perimenopause – physically, emotionally, and energetically – and witnessing their transformations is incredibly rewarding.

Being part of these journeys, sharing the magic of Chinese Medicine, and seeing real results keeps me inspired every day. I also love that I get to bring Maple to work with me! It’s a career I’m passionate about, and I know I’ll never get bored of it.

To work with Emma, check out her website and be sure to follow her on Instagram.

To know ‘AB’ is to be impressed by her can-do attitude, warm and caring leadership style and the incredible energy she brings to both work and life. But even she admits that was a rough start to the motherhood career blend.

Fast forward to today and the mum to 17-year-old Rohan and 14-year-old Alyssa is doing things her way. A marketer and senior leader for a number of years working for companies like Wotif, Expedia, Gumtree and Hireup, she’s now left the corporate world to become a non-executive director, advisor and career coach. All while also running her own business, Dear Thrive, a platform providing personalised and practical work-life support for mid-career professionals.

Enjoy this chat with the wonderful Amanda Behre.

1. On your mothering experience…

How old were you when you became a mother and how did you find coming into motherhood at the age you did?

Just before 30. It was the right time, we were living in the US and whilst we had no family around us we had a good network of friends, our careers and relationship were going well so it “felt right”.

The lack of support was a big challenge though. I had an absolutely awful return to work and I’m quite sure my experience would not be accepted today.

I had just over three months off for maternity leave after a caesarean section with my son. We were living in San Diego for my husband Chris’s role. My office at the time was in LA and I would commute once a week (it was about 200km away).

During my maternity leave, my boss, the MD, was leaving the company and being replaced by someone new. I had to re-interview for my job, relocate back to LA, then I was told I would need to fly to Bangkok within a week after coming back to work. And because I was leaving the country, I needed to renew my US visa so was forced to head back to Australia to process the paperwork with Chris and baby Rohan. I ended up having to pump over 100 bags of milk, leaving my boys in Sydney while I travelled for almost a week away. You can imagine, I was a wreck.

What’s something about motherhood you think should be talked about more?

I am not a mother who is a martyr. I’ve always needed distinction and diversity in my life to mother well. To me that looks like mental stimulation, great work where I can make a difference, good relationships and family. My relationship with my kids is all the better for it when I have a good sense of equilibrium with all those things.

What should be talked about and supported more is the confidence and identity dip that women feel after having kids in the early years. So much of us is defined by motherhood, by our jobs that once those priorities change women feel this huge confidence shake where I think more early support is needed.

2. On your mother…

Tell me about your mum?

My mother is a connector. She is kind and generous and always goes above and beyond for friends, family and people she barely knows. When I was growing up, my aunty passed away to cancer leaving four young children, the youngest being only one. I remember often having them all over for sleep overs. We bought a minivan just so we could accommodate all the kids. It was a mad house but such great fun.

She is an amazing cook. I lived abroad for almost 12 years and every time we’d come back to Sydney, it was always her home cooking that felt like home. My brother once submitted a story years ago to Sydney Morning Herald talking about mum’s “tomato slop” we lovingly called it. A humble beef and tomato stew that ended up getting printed in the paper with my mum and my brother in her custard yellow kitchen with the label “Home Cook Hero”. You can imagine how proud she was.

She has the most full social life of anyone I know. Every two years she is the organiser of an almighty extended family reunion where she gathers our small group of 200 plus.

I would say now, she looks at me as a confidante and a friend. Whilst Chinese people generally don’t tend to be overly communicative or express deep emotions, she has never held back sharing how proud she is of her kids.

What’s a piece of parenting advice or a parenting philosophy from your mother that has stayed with you?

Mum grew up in a family of eight kids from Fiji. Her parents experienced war and her mother grew up with scarcity. Her parents thought an education in Australia would be better so my mother was sent to Australia to live with her older brothers when she was 12. Perhaps growing up in that environment made her resilient and selfless, someone always looking out for and looking after others. I am far from selfless like my mother but I do think I’ve inherited her positive energy, generosity and her resilience.

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for your own kids?

My parents loved the family road trip. In fact I reckon my father was an early influencer. They bought a new car and only thought it right to take it for a test run. The test run was Sydney to Broome! He wrote to Subaru and asked to have our road trip sponsored in exchange for content and photos of the car around Australia - back then it was for their physical magazine - no internet yet. They said yes.

Road trips have lived on with my family too, whether it was Los Angeles to Texas when we lived in the US or motel hopping up and down the East Coast of Australia.

3. On your kids…

How would you describe your kids?

My kids are teenagers now and there are rollercoasters at every stage of their growing up.

Rohan is calm and considered, a loyal friend and a quick learner. He is kind to his grandparents, helps out a lot with the family and sometimes he surprises me with his sensitivity which I think will help him manage relationships, both personal and professional, well as he grows up.

Alyssa is our resilient pocket rocket. When she was seven, her hair started falling out and for years now she has had Alopecia Universalis where she does not have any hair on her body. As a teenage girl, where hair is part of your identity, I can only imagine how challenging things are for her, outside looking in. But she has no sense of comparison. I so admire her grit and tenacity, her wicked sense of humour, her cuddles and her strength of character.

When they grow up and reflect on their childhood, how would you hope they describe you as their mum?

I hope they will look back on their childhood fondly. We’ve tried to give them exposure to a variety of diverse experiences, they see both their parents work bloody hard but we still make an effort to have dinner around the table when we can, and cook together. It definitely hasn’t been quantity but hopefully quality time together.

4. On how you mother…

How would you describe your approach to motherhood?

I think as your kids mature, this becomes a difficult question to answer. We teach our kids to be resilient and independent but at the same time caring and kind, I hope it's rubbing off!

What are your favourite - big and/or small - family rituals?

We try to eat dinner around the table as much as possible, it's probably the only time we really get to connect together with our busy lives. Often we’ll do a quick family game like Monopoly Deal or Bananagrams and sometimes take the dog for a night walk after dinner.

Every couple of months we like to explore a new suburb to try a new restaurant but particularly to experience the amazing ethnic diversity of Sydney.

5. On your village…

How did you find ‘your village’ in motherhood?

Quite frankly I didn’t. I had my kids in the US, with only a few months off after a caesarean, no mothers’ groups, I never found my tribe there. It was really difficult to discuss my challenges when Aly’s hair was falling out. No one understood what I was going through. I feel like I missed out on finding a motherhood tribe, new mothers should not take those early motherhood friendships for granted!

6. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

You’ve had an incredible career in marketing. What was it like juggling that with the demands of young kids?

Difficult in the early years. There was limited options to work from home, Chris is a chef so his job was relentless in the States. When we moved back to Australia we had much more support. My mother was an amazing help when we needed her.

Outside of the family network, I was fortunate to work for organisations and bosses at the time my kids were young, that were accommodating and thoughtful. Working for an organisation with the right cultural fit and a great boss is so important to your motherhood and back to work experience.

Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

Hard to admit this but no. I’ve always been ambitious and I’ve always believed you can have both.

You now run your own business, Dear Thrive. What impact has the shift to being your own boss had on you as a mother?

I have probably felt imposter syndrome more than at any other time and feel that I’m “on” all the time which means sometimes I’m probably a little less focused on family time as I should be. But my kids see me creating something from scratch, we have different conversations about saving, about the value of things, about innovation, ownership and accountability. And those lessons are really valuable.

What’s been the secret to success in co-parenting with your husband and keeping your relationship a priority?

I still don’t think we have the balance right as we both tend to prioritise work. Because they are older, we actually enjoy our kids' company so we tend to go out with them more than us as a couple. Sometimes it's just the small things like having a wine on the deck after a hard day, a note in the bag to be discovered at work or with the kids now doing their own thing we do have more time for dinners to ourselves.

7. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could impart wisdom to a mum in her first year of motherhood, what would it be?

Don’t forget YOUR identity.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age/stage so far: All ages have interesting highs!

2. Parenting hack everyone should know: Start teaching your kids to cook EARLY.

3. Book/podcast/Substack/influencer recommendation for motherhood inspo: Sorry don’t look at any.

4. Go to easy family dinner: Harbord Diggers in Freshwater on a nice night where we can take a walk, take the dog and have a drink and feed outside by the beach

5. Best family holiday destination: Can’t pick just one! My kids would probably say Japan.

In the market for personalised work life support? Be sure to check out Amanda’s business Dear Thrive, a platform connecting working professionals to advisory and coaching support that helps companies and individuals bridge capability gaps, build leadership skills, confidence and everything in between. You can follow her founder journey over on LinkedIn.

But let’s also be real. In the early days especially, it’s us parents who are actually reading the same books over and over and over. So you want them to be enjoyable for you too!

In my (weary early-motherhood) eyes, the criteria for a good kid’s book looks like:

• An appropriate level of of rhymey-ness

• Cute pictures to keep bub engaged

• Nothing tooooo long

• A moral to the story

• Just the right amount of feels

And who better to ask for their mum-approved book recommendations than my wise and wonderful Mother’s Group!

To kick things off though, these are three in high rotation in our household:

Macca the Alpaca

Nothing guarantees a smile on my daughter’s face each morning like the bright blue cover of her favourite book. Just wait until she discovers there’s more in the series!

Macca the Alpaca’s days were carefree, filled with giggles and glee, until he bumps into a bully named Harmer (who's no charmer). It’s a beautiful and fun lesson in using your brain over brawn and the power of kindness.

How Big Are Your Worries Little Bear

Poor Little Bear worries about everything! This gorgeous book helps him learn tools for dealing with his troubles which let’s be honest, could be super dry but is told in such a lovely and gentle way. Us adults could do with taking these lessons on board too.

Little Dream

Thoughtfully gifted to us by a lovely friend, this stunningly illustrated book tells the story of a badger couple’s bravery and determination as they face unexpected challenges to grow their family. If you’ve been through fertility challenges, be warned, you’ll need the tissues for this one.

And now over to the best mother’s group a new mum could ask for with their top book picks:

Steph and Baby Pearl recommend:

“We (let’s be real, I) love to read All the Ways to Be Smart for its rhymey-ness. I feel like hopefully eventually it’ll have some meaning for Pearly when she might be going through some transition stages like early school years. For now it’s fun to look at.”

Charlotte and Baby Hazel recommend:

“Hazel isn’t currently a big fan of books, she loves to close them though! But Love Makes a Family is one we adore as it has pictures of all different families including two mums like us without making a big deal about it. Plus it’s a board book so she can’t eat it!”

Steph and Baby Maddie recommend:

“I’ve got two and I can’t pick. What We’ll Build is a beautiful story about a dad and his daughter building their future together, including all the ups and downs (the author wrote it for his daughter). Giraffes Can’t Dance is a great rhyming book with a central message around persistence and embracing your individuality.”

Alice and Babies Jasper and Sofia recommend:

“We love Leonard the Lyrebird and Lilah the Lyrebird because they’re set in the NSW Blue Mountains, have fantastic illustrations and are all about friendship and the bravery to be yourself and find your own voice.”

Sonia and Baby Evie recommend:

“We love a good book as part of our night time routine and Guess How Much I Love You is a firm favourite in our household. The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of its Business is great for a bit of humour, it’s given to all the kids in our family which is a lovely tradition.”

Laura and Baby Ada recommend:

“We got Our World: A First Book of Geography as a gift and I’m thinking of ordering others in the series. It has pretty pictures, opens out into a globe and has more junior style rhyming on one side and more detailed facts for older kids on the other so it will get a thorough work out over the years.”

Rachel and Baby Evelyn recommend:

“I love Meg and Mog (mostly just because I also liked it as a child) and also Hello Baby because it gives me an opportunity to practice my animal noises.”

Katy and Baby Arlo recommend:

“We love Can I Cuddle the Moon, Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes as well as any of the Hairy Maclary hard books. To be honest, that’s what I love, Arlo likes any book that makes noise!”

Whitney and Baby Lucy recommend:

“Our pick would have to be I Love You Like No Otter. Cute baby animals and puns galore, what’s not to love? This short and sweet book has all the feels for pre-bedtime.”

Ashley and Baby Tom recommend:

“A Mother Is a House gives a really beautiful look at motherhood through the eyes of a baby. We love it because it’s not your typical kids book and the illustrations are contemporary and beautiful. Highly recommend.”

Rachael and Baby Rafi recommend:

“Kissed by the Moon is part of our bedtime routine. It’s a sweet lullaby about experiencing the outdoors, different times of the day and seasons. And it’s one of the books, Rafi tolerates when he’s tired so I’m counting that as a win.”

What did we miss? Add your favourites in the comments 📚

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“I was told by medical professionals that it would be highly unlikely for me to be able to conceive yet here I was. Most of my late teens and twenties had been in and out of hospital admissions and here I was pregnant and diving straight into motherhood. I remember thinking “I can barely take care of myself, is this responsible to bring a child into the world?” but being pregnant with Mabel helped me heal and make a full recovery.”

I first met Lexi years ago when I interviewed her for Mamamia and she was an absolute delight. I know you’ll be inspired by Lexi’s resilience and her sunny outlook on life and single motherhood. Enjoy this chat xx

1. On your child…

How would you describe Mabel?

Mabel is definitely an old soul. She tends to think things through before acting and has picked up many of my quirky traits, something I’m encouraging her to embrace and love about herself.

She adores reading and has a real talent for writing creative stories. She isn’t your typical girlie girl’, most of her friends are boys and she’s loved soccer since she was three.

Mabel is kind, thoughtful, giving and sensitive yet also incredibly strong. I admire her so much for walking to the beat of her own drum.

Is there a lesson that comes to mind that she has taught you?

Flexibility and overcoming perfectionism. I was such a strict, structured and rigid person before I had Mabel, never putting a toe out of line and everything was always in order.

She showed me there is so much beauty in the real, uncontrolled, messy moments. I think that’s one of motherhood’s greatest gifts: you can’t control it. You simply have to let it unfold and learn to love yourself in every season. Mabel has taught me what love truly is, for her, and for myself.

When she grows up and reflects on her childhood, how would you hope she describes you as her mum?

I hope that she describes me as someone who never gave up, as someone who embodied softness and strength. Beyond the eating disorder, life has thrown many challenges my way and Mabel has always been along for the ride with me. As a single mum, you are everything to your child - provider and nurturer - and it can be really hard.

I want her to know that pretty much anything is possible if you put your mind, dedication and essence into it. She has seen me rebuild time and time again and I hope she sees the beauty in keeping it real.

2. On your mother…

Tell me about your mum?

My mum is my hero, there are no words to capture how wonderful she is. I’ve tested her, often unintentionally, time and time again, yet she’s always been there for me.

Not having a partner, my mum has been my rock throughout my single mum journey. She was a single mum herself so she gets it. Mum’s driven over to my house at 2 am. when Mabel was projectile vomiting, just to help clean up without batting an eyelid.

We didn’t always have this relationship. Anorexia was a nightmare, not just for me but for my whole family. Something shifted in our relationship in my mid-20s during recovery, when Mum learned to be less judgmental. I’ve always been a super unconventional girl on my own path, so it was easy to be judged while finding my place in the world.

Mum has always been the ultimate role model. I watched her work hard, rising from nurse to CEO running a hospital, all while staying true to her empathetic and caring nature.

What’s a piece of parenting advice or a parenting philosophy from your mother that has stayed with you?

She has always shown me that things will work out, no matter how hard the challenge. Often, completely unprompted, she’ll say, “You’re doing a great job, Lexi.” Sometimes, that’s all you need to hear.

What parts of your own childhood have you tried to recreate for Mabel?

My mum was incredibly busy, often travelling across the country for work and sometimes taking six return flights in a week. Sometimes, I’d travel with her just so we could spend extra time together.

Mabel and I love to travel too, though we’re big homebodies as well. Recently, we’ve bonded over Harry Potter, my favourite at her age, and it’s been beautiful to pass down a little of that magic.

3. On how you mother…

If you feel comfortable sharing, can you talk me through your experience of mothering as a single mum?

Being a single mum has created an extra-special bond between Mabel and I. We are an absolute team, we both often call ourselves that.

I won’t sugar coat it: it’s hard, without a doubt. As an unpartnered mother, you become everything to your child. But the deep fulfillment you share with each other, is like no other.

How would you describe your approach to motherhood?

I don’t have a strategic, set approach to motherhood but quality time together is huge for me. On the weeks Mabel is with me, I make sure my own cup is full to be at my best for her. Sometimes that means working smarter in my off weeks so I can truly enjoy being present with her. I’m a big believer in self care, it’s essential to be the best mum and version of myself I can be.

What are your favourite - big and/or small - mother-daughter rituals?

When I get Mabel back on the Monday after school, we always go to Yo-Chi. It helps her settle in, decompress and gives us time to catch up together.

I also love our night time routine. There’s a lot of silliness - singing songs, jumping and giggling on the bed. There’s never a dull moment at our place!

She’s recently outgrown our ‘opening the driveaway gate’ ritual, discovering it wasn’t “Abra Cadabra” that opened the door but the buzzer - I had that in the bag for years! We also play a solid Elf on the Shelf game every Christmas, the magic is still there.

4. On your village…

How did you find ‘your village’ in motherhood?

It took me a long time to find my village and it really didn’t come together until Mabel was in primary school. I met some down-to-earth mums at her school and I classify them as my ‘anything goes friends’. We just get each other, understand the journey of motherhood and never judge. At any time we can pick up the phone to each other, arrange for pick ups if something has come up and we love our catch ups where the kids play and we get to yap.

What’s a green flag in another mum that makes you think, ‘you’re going to be one of my people’?

It’s being non-judgmental. Life is hard enough already without the opinions of people who have no idea what someone is really going through.

What’s the best thing another mum has done to support you?

In 2023, I went through a horrible experience. As a single mum, you always have to stay strong and show up, but my best mum friend sensed something was up. She offered to take Mabel, brought me to her house, made me a cup of tea, and simply sat with me. Then she told me to take a walk, take a few hours for myself and assured me Mabel would have a great time.

It was just done with such grace, no judgement and nothing expected in return. We are still so close to this day.

5. On your mothering experience…

Has motherhood been what you expected it to be? How has it changed you?

I feel like motherhood has been completely unpredictable. These days, with Mabel being nine, I find myself very reflective, realising that half of her childhood is already over. It’s cliché, I know, but it has gone so fast and I don’t want it to be over.

Motherhood has changed me in ways I never thought possible. Mabel has been my biggest teacher. I was a single mum in my twenties, so I had to grow up quickly and make major life decisions at a young age. I’ve learned to be more flexible and to trust the process, letting go of perfectionism while becoming loving and simultaneously fierce in our pursuits together.

What’s something about motherhood you think should be talked about more?

Motherhood is going to be just as challenging as it is magical. I also think postpartum recovery and healing should be more normalised and openly discussed. There’s often an expectation that women need to ‘bounce back,’ when the reality is they’ve just created life from their own bodies. A woman gives her baby nutrients derived from her own sources so it takes years for the body to completely heal and be at optimal health again. It affects energy, hormones, mood and even organ health. This needs to be recognised and women should be encouraged to be kind to themselves and each other throughout the journey.

What has been the biggest challenge and the biggest pleasant surprise about motherhood?

The biggest challenge has been mum guilt. I’ve come to realise, though, that if you’re worrying about this, you’re probably doing a great job! I didn’t realise I’m not just raising a daughter, I’m creating and experiencing life with someone who is my best friend. No one can prepare you for how deep that bond can be as a single mum. I actually can’t picture how my life would have gone if I didn’t have Mabel. That’s been a beautiful surprise and gift.

6. On ‘life’ alongside being a mother…

What did your career look like before becoming a mum? Has your sense of ambition shifted at all through motherhood?

I’ve always been driven and ambitious but I think motherhood has made me work smarter. I look back and realise having Mabel at such a young age forced me to make decisions that prioritised our future together.

You really can manage many things at once as a mum. I was studying for my Bachelor of Health Science while pregnant and with a newborn. I remember having a chemistry exam one week after she was born, which is wild now I think of it!

You share so beautifully and openly about your experience recovering from an eating disorder. How has that experience influenced your motherhood experience?

I’m really careful with Mabel, as my biggest fear is that she might go down that path. However, in so many ways, she benefits from seeing the positive relationship I now have with food and my body.

As a single mum, how do you make time for you? What does self-care look like in this life season?

I’m a big believer in having a morning routine, which for me is all about connecting with my mind, body, and spirit. That might include waking before sunrise for meditation, yoga or a walk, along with optimal nutrition, supplements for my health, quality sleep, and proper hydration.

I’m a big introvert and a creative, so this self-care time is essential to being the best version of myself - not only for Mabel, but also for my work, which can be quite demanding with the energy my clients require.

I also love spending time with my best friend. We might go on a mid-week Gelato Messina date, have couch time together or enjoy simple things like our daily voice memos, all beautiful moments.

7. On your parting wisdom…

Lastly, if you could impart wisdom to a mum in her first year of motherhood, what would it be?

Please be kind to yourself. You are doing a great job and it’s normal to go through every emotion under the sun. New motherhood is a big change. I encourage you to ask for help when you can if you need it. Everyone will have opinions to offer on feeding, schedules, you name it but it’s so important to learn to understand what works for you.

Fast five:

1. Favourite age/stage so far: Five is such a sweet age. They are getting to really know who they are and you get to see so much change in them.

2. Parenting hack everyone should know: Not every single meal has to be MasterChef worthy. A protein and carbohydrate source with some cut-up vegetables is entirely fine when energy is low and time is tight.

3. Book/podcast/Substack/influencer recommendation for motherhood inspo: It’s been a while since I sourced out motherhood inspo but I do love that social media has become a lot more real about showing the many sides of motherhood.

4. Go-to easy family dinner: Spaghetti Bolognese, Mabel could eat this for every meal if I let her. I usually cook it in advance and keep it in the freezer to pull out if the week has been extra busy.

5. Best family holiday destination: Our favourite so far has been Fiji. Mabel has made friends and pen pals to last beyond holidays which is extra special.

A big congratulations to Lexi on the recent launch of her new book, Renourish: A Complete and Compassionate Guide to Recovery from Eating Disorders. To work with Lexi, check out her website or be sure to follow her on Instagram and Substack.