Well, firstly, let me be all the way honest; I’ve taken a massive liberty with the title there and the use of the prefix ‘re’ - as if financial stability was a part of my life before. HA! Not for this bird. And when you find yourself broke in your 40s, it comes with a different level of panic, especially when you’re single. Savings, investments, assets of any meaningful type, have all been ideas on a wishlist for me. As the years rolled by, I kicked them further and further down the road, while I was stuck in survival mode, on a freelancer/entrepreneur’s income.

However, last year, when I finally landed a full-time, salaried position, I carpe’d the frikkin’ diem and decided to make this the time I get serious about money. I’m writing about it to lessen the shame. This economy is kicking everyone’s ass. While we watch assholes like Elon Musk ascend to trillionairedom, it can be easy to forget that the vast majaority of people are in the trenches, just simply trying to get by. Many live pay cheque to pay cheque. In Canada, nearly half of all consumers are one missed pay cheque away from insolvency.

I’m in my mid-40s. I do not come from wealth. There is no trust fund or nest egg hiding anywhere to bail me out. I simply do not have the time to waste burying my head in the sand and making excuses that I don’t understand money.

Over the past year, I have made the biggest strides I’ve ever made with my finances. I am very far from rich, but here are the steps I’ve taken to get myself on track:

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Hello fellow book nerds!

Well, on this, our inaugeral month of reading club, Romance was the theme.

Romance literature is not something I typically gravitate to. The modern ones at least, I can’t even stand the covers, everything looks cheesy and it all just gives me the cringe. Sure, I don’t think it’s a giant leap to conclude that due to never really experiencing these types of grand romances in my own life, I struggle with the buy in to truly engage with these stories.

However, on my quest this year to expand my reading practice, I figure these always something to learn and take away from any genre, especially as a writer myself.

I read five books this month:

Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering

Leila and Khaled by Nyla Matuk

Tropsick by Lauren Okie

Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell

And I’m currently just over half way through Into the Blue by Emma Brodie.

Of those, I’d say Tropsick and Leila and Khaled were my least favourite. Leila and Khaled, as I discussed in a previous newsletter, was billed as a romance on the book jacket, but it just wasn’t, so I spent the whole book waiting for some romance to happen. It’s not a bad book, I think they should just change the description.

Tropesick, however, is a bad book. I hate to say that because I love and admire writers so much and have an immense amount of appreciation for what goes into writing a book, but this was just…not good. This is the kind of book that makes me steer clear of the romance section, to be honest. And the ending was so bad I am truly surprised it actually got published. But as a quick and easy beach read, I get it.

I’ve come to realise that what I’ve enjoyed about Tell Me Lies, Slow Dance and Into the Blue is that they are more about the complexities and intricacies of relationships, as opposed to holding some grand romance up on a pedastal.

Tell Me Lies I feel should be mandatory reading for any woman in her twenties, as we all date that specific type of asshole, like the lead character Steven, at some point in our lives. I literally shouted out loud a couple of times reading this because it cut a little too close to the bone in terms of things I’ve experienced. I’m not sure it can really be classed as a romance, it’s more so about the insanity of toxic relationships.

Slow Dance and Into the Blue have the same kind of premise; the slow burn of the friendship to relationship dynamic and all the bumps in the road that come along with that. Slow Dance may be one of my favourite reads of the year so far.

What I’ve learned through this genre during this month is that I do, in fact, enjoy some romance, but apparently only if it’s grounded in real and complex relationship dynamics, as opposed to centred around silly, heteronormative, big grand gestures type of romance, which I just can’t buy into.

So….what did you read this month? Are you a big romance fan or do you struggle a bit with it, as I do. Which books in the genre would you recommend?

For September, our theme will be Classics. You know, those books that everyone says you should read. Think Catcher in the Rye, Pride and Prejudice, 1984, that kind of thing. If you’re anything like me, you probably have a few of those on your list that you figure you’ll tackle one day. Well, let September be the month we do it! I’ve added a caveat in there for myself; I’m going to go with classics that were written by female authors. I’ve managed to read all books written by women so far this year and I don’t want to break the streak!

So, let us know in the comments which classics you’re looking forward to reading in September.

Thanks for reading with me!

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Happy Thursday, ya beauties!

Let’s dive in to this week’s round up of things to watch, read and listen to:

Things that caught my eye this week

Last week, I watched the series Half Man and haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. From the mind of Richard Gadd, who made Baby Reindeer, it’s the story of two step brothers, one of whom, is a raging asshole. It’s dark, disturbing, creepy and explores loss, loyalty and identity in really interesting ways. I will say, I think someone should do a wellness check on Richard Gadd, because judging by this subject matter, he is not OK! This series is expertly written though. There are some scenes between Gadd and his costar Jamie Bell that are absolutely breathtaking.

Definitely worth a watch, but prepare to be very unsettled.

Food for thought

What if, instead of ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, we thought of it as ‘face it ‘til you embrace it’?’Cause if we’re faking it, it’s never gonna feel good. It’s a front, a facade, you’ll never feel comfortable. But we can just think of it as facing something, just being present with it and sticking to it until we feel it belongs with us a little more. Maybe that allows us the grace to mess up, be uncomfortable and figure things out, without the pressure of feeling like we should already know it all.

What I read this week

Given that the theme for my reading group this month is romance, I thought I’d dive in to the type of contemporary romance that I usually steer clear of. And….yeah it was definitely not for me. The concept was solid as a narrative device; two writers are tasked with ghostwriting a romance for a reclusive bestselling author. They have to include several classic romance tropes in the book and those tropes play out in real life between the two writers. It’s well written in parts, but the overall cheesiness gets hard to stomach by a certain point. However, it’s a light, quick, easy read and is entertaining enough (though the ending will give you the rage).

Podcast recommendation of the week

Comedian, documentarian and political commentator W. Kamau Bell recently launched his podcast, Who’s With Me and it’s kept me company on many-a-dog walk. I really like Kamau’s interview style and the variety of guests he has on. Add this to your listening rotation - you won’t be disappointed.

Your Weekly Biggie (P)Update

This week, Biggie wants to encourage you to get outside, go on an adventure, do something outside of your norm. Take a break from your routine, get into nature, listen to the soothing sounds of a stream and let the stress of your every day grind drift away for a while.

Until next week; smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.

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I have long since bowed out of the dating game. I’m 45. I went on my first date at 17 and am yet to find ‘the one’. At some point, you’ve gotta admit defeat, you know? I just figured my time and energy would be better spent living a life I’m happy with than constantly chasing something that clearly, just isn’t for me. And luckily, I like my own company.

It would seem I’m not alone. Fewer people are choosing marriage or getting into relationships. Can you blame us? Dating apps are a nightmare, it seems impossible to meet someone organically in the wild these days and with fewer people looking for the traditional family set up, it’s more challenging to find someone with whom your goals, dreams, morals etc align.

So, given that there are more people living alone now than seemingly any point in history, CAN SINGLE PEOPLE GET A FRIKKIN’ BREAK?!

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Happy Thursday, ya beauties!

How the hell are ya? It’s Friday-eve and I hope the week hasn’t been kicking your ass. Allow me to just slide into your inbox with a little culture, book nerdery, podcast recs and doggie love - the usual shenanigans. Enjoy!

Things that caught my eye this week

OK, sure, it’s not like The Sopranos just caught my eye this week. I’ve loved it since it came out in ‘99. But I rewatch it fairly frequently. I just started another viewing and goddamn, it is just so good. Yeah, it gets dark in parts but the comedic moments? Top tier. And no one will ever convince me Carmela Soprano isn’t a fashion icon. An ICON, I tell you! Anyway, I guess I’m just saying, if you’re looking for something to binge, The Sopranos never disappoints.

Food for thought

I know it can be tough when you’re in the thick of it, but have you ever thought of just coming up for air for a second and seeing how far you’ve come? All those baby steps have added up. You don’t necessarily notice them while they’re happening, but you are, indeed, further along than you thought. So maybe today, you take a break from beating yourself up and actually give yourself some credit for the progress.

What I read this week

My reading club theme for this month is Romance, so I picked up this lil book on a whim. From the book jacket, it gave romance; a Palestinian-Canadian woman falls for her tour guide on a diplomatic trip to Palestine. But I kind of spent the whole book waiting for the romance to happen. It was very educational about the Israel-Palestine situation, but because I kept awaiting some big romantic moment to happen, I don’t think I could really enjoy this for what it was. The book jacket does a bit of false advertising basically. A decent read, but I wouldn’t class it as romance at all.

Podcast recommendation of the week

Comedian Hasan Minhaj has long been a favourite of mine. His podcast, Hasan Minhaj Doesn’t Know, is always worth a listen. It’s social and political commentary at its best. Last week, his guest was writer, Ta-nehisi Coates. Coates’ books and speaking engagements always give me so much food for thought and this episode was no exception. Take an hour and some change out of your day to appreciate this.

Your Weekly Biggie Smalls (p)Update

This week, Biggie wants to remind you that sometimes a little scream rage is necessary. Let it out, babe. That anger will eat you up from the inside.

Until next week; smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.

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If you need to hear it today; you don’t get brownie points for rawdogging your mental health. It doesn’t make you noble because you choose to forgo conventional medicine. I’m not sure why there’s still a stigma about this, but alas, here we are.

Listen, I get it. I too, am the type who generally doesn’t like to take medication. I’ll lay down in a dark room rather than take an Asprin for a headache. I’ll deep breathe my way through period cramps. But even in these instances, sometimes I’ll curse myself for being a martyr for no reason.

I’m not saying we don’t have reason to be cautious. I mean, look at the opioid crisis. It starts innocently enough; taking some pills here and there for your back pain. Then next thing you know, you’re nodding out on Fentanyl, on the streets, having sold all your earthly possessions. Yes, Big Pharma are bastards. Yes, I do feel as a society we are generally over-medicated and there are a lot of very rich, powerful people making a killing off that.

But when it comes to my brain chemistry though? Yeah, I’m not gonna play with that. There are certain things you can’t box breathe, journal and meditate your way out of.

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Happy Thursday, you beauties.

This week, I’m talking about at home health hacks, giving you a reminder about of how awesome you are, throwing in book and podcast recommendations and rounding it out with a Biggie update. Let’s dive in!

Things that caught my eye this week

During COVID, the ‘do your own research’ crowd were very vocal and this article is really interesting in tracking how women, in particular, are taking their health into their own hands. The rise of at-home treatments, recommended by both influencers and generally weird corners of the internet, is something I find pretty fascinating. To a degree, I think we all have certain health hacks or old wives tales we’ve taken to heart and are convinced work for us. But for me, there are absolutely areas where I’m going to trust someone who went to medical school over some psycho in a Reddit thread.

Food for thought

Hey, in case no one told you today, you’re gorgeous. You have an aura that stops traffic, your smile puts a spring in the step of anyone who receives it and right now, there’s someone out there in the world thinking about an interaction they had with you and it makes their whole self feel warm and fuzzy. You are a magic maker, my friend. And I hope that even on your toughest days, you never forget that.

What I Read This Week

Well holy moly! This is one of the best things I’ve read this year, for sure. What an epic tale! I don’t usually go for historical fiction but this was unputdownable. Set during the second world war it tracks the stories of two sisters and what they did to survive. It’s phenomenal. And I heard they’re making it into a movie too - can’t wait for that!

Don’t forget, now that we’re into August, our Reading Club has begun. Our theme for August is Romance. I’m currently reading Tell Me Lies by Carola Lovering and WHEW! I have some things to say! Full review coming next week. On the final Thursday of the month, we’ll convene here and discuss what we read.

So, grab a book and join us!

Podcast Recommendation

The Interview podcast, from the New York Times, is one I always enjoy checking out. The interview really interesting people. Their chat a couple of weeks ago with New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani is so good. The more I hear Mamdani speak, the more it reassures me that there are, in fact, still good people left in the world. What I find fascinating is that we’ve been told for so long that politics and leadership can’t be a certain way, then here comes Mamdani, just totally re-writing the rule book. I love to see it.

Your Weekly Biggie (P)update

This week, Biggie would like to remind you that a good quality nap goes a long way.

Until next week; smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.

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I like to think I’m not having any perimenopause symptoms. Sure, my periods have changed a little, but only in the sense that they’ve gotten shorter and you sure as hell won’t find me complaining about that. Much of the reading you do around this life shift is all about the physical symptoms and the mental side of it is often overlooked. But probably the biggest change I’ve noticed over the last year within myself is the rage. The unmitigated rage.

What were once minor annoyances, are now things I want to wage war over. My latest one is spacial awareness. I’ve gone my whole life thinking it’s an unwritten rule in large, bustling urban cities that you have eyes in the back of your head, you keep your head on a swivel and understand how pavements work. It turns out, the people of Toronto, (who, as Canadians, I believe are generally a calm and reasonable people) when it comes to pavement etiquette, they said, ‘we prefer chaos’.

I have an eight minute walk to work where it feels like I’m in a human game of Tetris; dodging and weaving around people who are moseying, walking four-abreast, scrolling on their phones. During that eight minutes, I mentally punch at least seven people. Because truly, if you’re walking four abreast on a busy downtown sidewalk, I can only assume you want hand-to-hand combat.

Do you see what I mean about the rage?

If you see on the news one day ‘middle aged woman completely loses her shit at people minding their business walking on a Toronto sidewalk’, get the bail money ready, ‘cause it was me.

Some of the rage is over ridiculous things like that where sure, once I’ve found a quiet place to take a few deep breaths, I can laugh about them. But a lot of the rage seems to run deeper.

As women, we are socialised to be people pleasers. Perimenopause puts a moratorium on that and in it’s wake, you finally have to deal with what has simmered under the people pleasing surface for years, which is the rage.

I now feel furious for the younger version of me who let her boundaries be stomped on, who got walked over, dismissed and ignored. I feel a fiery anger for any man who has ever talked over me, not let me finish a sentence or undervalued my ideas. I am burning with resentment towards the version of me who stayed quiet or made herself smaller for the sake of others’ comfort.

I’m coming to realise what perimenopause really is, is a shedding of your past self. It strips everything away; all the filters, the rose tinted glasses, the social niceties and leaves you with the truth. You see clearly. And it’s enraging. I feel the rage we feel now is actually part grief for the people pleaser in us that’s dying.

I don’t know if there’s enough deep breathing, meditation or chakra alignment in the world that can calm the firestorm within, once its awakened. I am grateful that I am finally finding, owning and revelling in my power, but I do hope it doesn’t always come with this spicy anger on the side.

I’m choosing to look at this perimenopause journey as an awakening, a rebirth of sorts. And I have a feeling the version of me that will emerge will be unstoppably badass.

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Happy Thursday, you beauties!

This week we’re diving into ‘relationship OCD’ (who even knew that was a thing?!), rooting yourself in your why and nerding out about books.

Things that caught my eye this week

This article about relationship OCD (which I’d never heard of) took me by surprise this week. When I dived into it, I can understand. And Lordy, it sounds stressful as hell! The two girls they speak to in this article are 24 years old and honestly, that made me really sad on a couple of fronts. Immediately I thought ‘have you tried just being single?’ which I know sounds harsh, but honestly, at some point you have to question if a relationship is stressing you out that much, is it the right place for you to be? Perhaps you need some time by yourself to be able to firm up your own foundation, you know? But also, if there’s one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be to not fixate on being in a relationship at all at that point. Twenty four seems so young to be putting all your eggs in that basket to the degree that you’re having to seek professional help. The societal pressure to be coupled really needs to be analysed more.

Food for thought

Sometimes, you can get so bogged down in a thing, so overwhelmed by the minutiae, so laboured by the day-to-day of it all, you forget what it’s all about. Every now and then, it’s worth zooming out and bigger picturing this thing. Why did you start? Why did it matter to you? Why do you persist? Usually at the root of that is your passion. And passion doesn’t always show up as fireworks and big, shiny moments. It lives in those little details, in your persistence, in your refusal to give up. Even if that initial spark of passion doesn’t feel quite so big right now, it’s what keeps the whole thing burning. Keep on, keepin’ on, friend.

What I read this week

Hooked, I’d heard a lot about and it’s probably one of the stand out reads of the year so far for me. This is a story of female friendships, loneliness and the desire for connection. There were some very relatable threads and insights in this. Though I like to think I’ve never gotten quite as crazy as the characters in this book, I certainly understand the yearning for solid connection and friendship. Highly recommend.

I’m currently about half way through The Nightingale. I would class this as not my usual kind of read - I’m not really big on historical fiction but on the rare occasions I’ve tried it, I actually quite like it, so I should probably explore more. Anyway, my parents were both raving about this book and lent it to me recently. In all honesty, I tend to avoid books over 500 pages ‘cause I feel like I just don’t have the attention span for it, but this is the year I’m pushing the boundaries of my reading and so far, this is an absolute treat.

Don’t forget, in August, our Reading Club kicks off. The theme for August is Romance. I’m thinking of trying out one of Kennedy Ryan’s books, as I hear great things. I’m looking forward to diving into a genre I usually avoid. We reconvene here on the last Thursday of the month to share what we read. Make sure you’re subscribed to enjoy the fun!

Your Weekly Biggie (p)Update

This week, Biggie wants to remind you to find your joy, be a lil whimsical, roll around in some grass and buy yourself your favourite treat. It’s working out pretty well for him.

Until next week, smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.

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Happy Thursday, ya beauties!

This week we’re talking Instagram Face, quitting when the time is right, some good reads, podcast recs and reading club prep. Let’s dive in!

Things that caught my eye this week

I found this piece to be quite validating ‘cause I knew I wasn’t going crazy - the Hollywood elite are all starting to look the same. As depressing as it is, people in the public eye are feeling the pressure to conform to the look-du-jour and it’s resulting in such a lack of distinctive faces. I don’t think is just Hollywood either. As with everything, it has filtered down to regular society. Regular folks on Instagram are all starting to look the same. Bring back big noses and quirky features!

Food for thought

You’re allowed to quit. There are times to fight and keep on truckin’, and there are times you have to come to the conclusion that the fight isn’t actually worth it anymore. Sometimes when you do, you realise you’d been slugging it out for something that wasn’t meant for you. The second you drop the gloves and let go, it’s like The Universe says ‘oh, you finally got the hint?’ and starts lining up people, places and opportunities that you were too blinkered to even notice before. Maybe today’s the day you throw in the towel and make room for something better.

What I read this week

Two absolute corkers! Helpless kept me guessing the whole way through and the writing is so good. Where the Crawdads Sing - well, I’m late to the party on this one. Interestingly, I tried to read it a couple of years ago and gave upon it, feeling it just wasn’t for me. But this time, I got completely engrossed. This book took me on such a journey. I really identified with Marsh Girl and her story will stay with me a long time.

Podcast recommendation of the week

I stopped listening to true crime podcasts a while back because they’re just….a lot. But Criminal is different. It looks at really unique cases, sometimes modern day, sometimes historic and the host, Phoebe Judge, has a voice as smooth as butter. Highly recommend!

Reading Club Prep

Don’t forget, if you wanna be in on our reading club, we’re kicking off in August and the theme for the month is ‘Romance’. You choose any book you like that falls in that category, be it a cheesy chick lit holiday romance or a classic - go with whatever speaks to you and get lost in the pages. On the last Thursday of August, we reconvene here and share about what we read.

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I’m sure, like most of us at 45, life has dealt me a fair few crappy hands. Bad relationships, financial hardship, loneliness, anxiety, career shenanigans, to name a few.

And while life has sadly never dealt me the hand where I get to go on some fancy retreat for a month and self-care myself into oblivion, I’ve done what I can. I’ve journaled, had therapy, done reiki healing, gong baths, taken courses, read the self-help books - I’ve done all the things.

Looking inward isn’t always easy. Coming face-to-face with your self-destructive behaviours and trying to dig to the bottom of why these particular habits have become your go-to defensive techniques is confronting, upsetting, exhausting.

But it’s necessary work, if we’re ever to allow ourselves to grow and heal.

That’s the thing though; I think I might’ve healed too hard.

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Happy Thursday, you beauties!

In case you missed it last week, I have decided to start a reading club. How is a reading club different to a book club, I hear you cry. Well, rather than dictating what book everyone should read, we’re gonna go with a general theme each month. You pick a book that’s in line with the theme and on the last Thursday of each month, we’ll convene here and chat it up in the comments. The idea being, this way, we have a degree of autonomy over what we read, can use the theme to try out a genre we may not usually go for, and get inspiration from others when we hear about their reads.

We’re gonna kick this thing off in August, so we have a couple of weeks to figure out what we want to read, make a purchase, and create a schedule for yourself to read (if, like me, you have previously struggled to stay on track with your reading).

I figured for our first month (and given that’s it’s summer), we’ll go for some easy, low hanging fruit for the theme and that theme will be: Romance.

Romance is a genre I don’t usually go for personally, so I’m looking forward to going a little outside my own comfort zone. You can go cheesy chick lit, or maybe you want to go all Wuthering Heights and take on one of the classics - your choice!

Let’s go, book nerds!

Thursday Mood Boost

Let this be your reminder that everything will work out. It always does. No matter what shenanigans life has thrown your way, somehow, you’ve figured it out. Sure, maybe you freaked out and had a panic attack/melt down first, but whatever, that’s just part of the process. You should trust yourself more and rest easy in the fact that it simply always works out for you. And even if it doesn’t, that’s how it was meant to work out. You get me?

Podcast recommendation of the week

A podcast I have really been loving lately is Big Lives. Hosted by journalists Kai Wright and Emmanuel Dzotsi, each week they take a different cultural icon (be it a musician, comedian, actor, politician etc) and do a dive into the BBC archives to uncover the deep cuts that help us understand how that person became who they are and why they occupy such a place in our cultural landscape.

They’ve had episodes on Lauryn Hill, Sinéad O’Connor, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali and many more. I really appreciate the wide scope of people they look at and I always come away having learned something about that person that I didn’t know.

Highly recommend!

Until next week; smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.

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The Atlantic recently published an article called The End of Reading is Here. And I’ll be honest with you, pals, it’s behind a paywall that is beyond my budget right now, but luckily, a Threads user called summed it up nicely. Here are the top 5 points he noted from the article:

• 51% of adults read 0 books a year.

• Americans who read for pleasure fell from 28% in 2004 to 16% in 2023.

• New York Times best sellers today have sentences that are about one-third shorter than they were a century ago.

• Everyone is reading less. The decline in reading cuts across age groups, gender and education levels.

• From 1984 - 2025, the percentage of 13-year-olds who said they rarely or never read for fun rose from 8% to 29%.

What does this ultimately mean? We’re getting dumber. There. I said it.

And I’m here to advocate for reading because books are awesome and I love them!

I used to read a lot and then without me even realising, it just kind of fell by the wayside for me. I told myself all sorts of stories; that I was a slow reader, that it would take me forever to get through a book.

But, if I’m gonna be 100% honest here, it was more so just that I was lazy and distracted.

Much like everyone else, since the advent of social media, my attention span has been shot to shit. We’ve all normalised screen time and endless scrolling to the point where we rarely question it in ourselves anymore.

I noticed it in myself and didn’t like it. I hate how much time I’ve spent mindlessly scrolling on my phone to distract myself.

So, at the start of this year, I read a book. I finished it in a week and started another one. I finished that one in a week too. I hadn’t set out to do that, but the fact that I finished them so quickly surprised me.

I know that I like a cheesy thriller, so I let myself just read those to get myself back in the swing of things; back to enjoying a good story, with a page-turning plot and a few pearl-clutching moments. Reading a genre I knew I liked, that didn’t require a whole bunch of brain power, helped me build my reading habit back up.

Then I sprinkled in some classics that I’ve always wanted to read; The Bell Jar, I Who Have Never Known Men, Their Eyes Were Watching God. I could feel my attention span improving, along with my reading level. My screen time has also gone down - an added bonus.

And now here we are in July and I’ve read 31 books so far this year. I’ve made a goal to stick to one book a week (though some weeks I’ve managed 2!) and the trend early on seemed to be that it was all female authors, so I’m sticking to that too (because de-centre men, always).

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have noticed that I post each book I finish every week on my stories and I often get people telling me I should start a book club.

And yes, hell yeah! I would love to connect with other people who want to find or nurture their love for reading and feel supported through community.

Here’s the thing though; I’ve been reluctant to join book clubs myself because I’m pretty specific in my reading choices and don’t necessarily always want to be told what to read.

Then my friend Melissa (shout out to Melissa!) made the suggestion of starting a ‘reading club’ as opposed to a book club. And I like that way more. The idea being, people just read what they want and we talk about it.

The way I plan to work this is, each month, we’ll set a theme for that’s month’s read. For example, thriller, romance, historical fiction, fantasy, black authors, feminist authors and so on. You pick whatever book you want within that category and at the end of the month, we convene here and you tell us about your read.

That way, rather than being forced to read a book you wouldn’t necessarily be into, you can find one within that genre that you jive with and give it a go. We also all get inspiration for our next read by hearing about each others’ choices. If you want to read more than one book within the chosen theme that month, have at it! The more the merrier!

So, step one is to subscribe to this newsletter. Each Thursday, I’ll be posting what I read the previous week with a lil review. On the last Thursday of each month, we can all wade into the comments, where we’ll discuss what we read, how we feel about the monthly theme, decide on a theme for the next month together and generally just nerd out about books. YAY!

So, you in?

Come be my reading buddy!

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There are stages of your life that are full of forward motion and big changes, then there are stages where you feel stuck in a holding pattern. There’s still value in the holding pattern though. Maybe it’s there for you to gather strength, energy and intel that’ll propel you into your next stage. Maybe the forward motion was a little too quick and you need to breathe for a second.

Or maybe, the holding pattern is there to remind you to hold still and appreciate the moment. We’re often so busy thinking about the next thing that we forget to be where our feet are. We forget to feel proud of the work we put in to be exactly where we are right now. And sometimes, that’s enough. Maybe the next thing involves you staying right where you are for a while. It doesn’t always have to be growth, change and evolution. Believe it or not, you are also allowed to let yourself just be.

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Fellow Queens in their 40s who are single, living alone and responsible for every single second of your waking life with no help - this one’s for you.

Aretha Franklin once famously crooned ‘Sisteeeeeers, are doing it for themselves.’ Indeed we are. And we’re fucking exhausted.

We gave up on the Knight in Shining Armour hope years ago. We are well aware that no one is coming to save us and at this point, we’re so hyper-independent, we’d probably refuse the help and tell you you’re doing it wrong anyway.

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At some point you’ve got to forgive yourself for the choices that made your life go in an unexpected direction and just focus on steering yourself back to where you want to be. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. That’s really it. Now you know better, so you can do better. Drowning yourself in guilt and regret is an epic waste of time. No one is judging you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. You are allowed to grow and move past it. Stop telling the story of that life chapter over and over and get busy living a new one.

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I went home last week. Home to Halifax, Nova Scotia, where my parents live. It’s the first time I’ve seen them since October last year. The first time seeing my mum since she had her cancer surgery in December. As I’ve adjusted to my new life in Toronto, chasing career goals and financial stability, there’s nothing quite like a trip home to remind you that the one thing that’s missing from your shiny new life, is your parents.

I mean, they’re in my life, obviously. We talk and FaceTime all the time. But those things are crappy stand ins for actual presence. I miss them, every day, with every fibre of my being. They are my people, my besties, the ones who get me and support me no matter what. What I’m struggling with, a lot, is if the price of my new life is worth it, if it comes at the cost of not being with my people.

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Maybe that person who tried to dim your light today did so because long ago, someone convinced them they weren’t worthy enough to shine. So when you shine so damn bright, it hurts. What if you spent some time today drawing them out of the shadows, proving that when you glow from within, you can light up the world. The critique isn’t an invitation for you to dim, it’s for you to share. Let them bathe in that shimmer, understand how good it feels in the light, help them reignite their own fire so they can bring others to bask in their glow. Before you know it, we’re all shining.

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In case you need the reminder: you are worthy of great things. You are deserving of everything you’re working so hard for. The pay off may be taking longer than expected, but that doesn’t render this part of the journey, that is laden in graft and doubt and frustration, any less necessary. Even in your second guessing, your daily declarations of quitting, you keep getting back up. See? Right there. Somewhere inside you, remains that fire that guides you back to that singular truth: you are worthy of it and it is already yours. And it’s sexy as hell when you don’t back down from your truth.

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I’m coming to you from the land of exhaustion.

Listen, I’m grateful for life and understand I experience many privileges as I walk through it.

However, I’m tired.

Tired of this high ass rent.

Tired of being responsible for every single bill.

Tired of barely having a cent left over once the rent and bills are paid.

Tired of digging my way out of debt.

Tired of trying to save for retirement.

Tired of my introvert tendencies that make me so hesitant about being social.

Tired of doing everything alone but also being petrified to put myself out there for genuine connection and friendship.

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