An alter ego is not a fake persona, nor does it mean pretending to be someone else. It is a consciously designed version of yourself that already embodies the qualities, habits, and mindset needed to reach your goals. Instead of waiting until you feel confident successful, or “ready,” you first adopt the identity of the person capable of producing those results and begin acting from that place.

The core principle is simple: Be → Do → Have. First, become the person, then take the actions, and finally achieve the outcomes.

Step 1: Define Who They Are

Start by identifying three to five traits you want your alter ego to possess—qualities that you currently struggle to express consistently. Be specific. Don’t simply write “better” or “more successful.”

If you tend to procrastinate, your alter ego takes action immediately. If you fear criticism, they refuse to let other people’s opinions dictate their decisions. If confidence is a challenge, they enter a room as though they already belong there. If you often quit too soon, they finish what they start.

Create a personal blueprint: How do they think? How do they speak? How do they carry themselves? What standards do they hold? What do they tolerate, and what do they refuse to accept? How do they respond when fear shows up?

Step 2: Give Them a Name

Choose a name for this version of yourself. It could be a nickname, a title, a variation of your own name, or something completely different.

The purpose of the name is to instantly trigger a clear image and feeling in your mind. When you hear it, you should immediately recognize the version of yourself that acts decisively, takes responsibility, and moves forward despite uncertainty.

A name creates psychological distance between your old patterns and the person you are choosing to become.

Step 3: Create a Physical Trigger

Select one to three items that will serve as activation cues for your alter ego. This could be a jacket, a watch, a piece of jewelry, a specific pair of shoes, a fragrance, or even a particular hairstyle.

The object itself is not what matters. Its meaning comes from repetition. Each time you use it, intentionally step into the mindset and behavior of your alter ego.

Over time, the cue becomes a signal that reminds you: This is who I am choosing to be right now.

Think of it like an athlete’s pre-game ritual that helps them enter the right mental state before competition.

Step 4: Define the Life They Are Moving Toward

Your alter ego needs a destination.

Imagine your life if this version of you were making your decisions for the next several years. Where would you live? What kind of work would you do? What relationships would you cultivate? What would your health and physical condition look like? How would you spend your time? What standards would you uphold?

Once you have a vision, stop focusing only on the final outcome. Instead, identify the next meaningful milestone that proves you are moving toward that identity. Then break it down into small, daily actions.

Goals are not there to judge you. They exist to give you direction.

Step 5: Ask, “What Would They Do?”

From this point forward, use your alter ego as a decision-making filter.

Every morning, ask yourself: What would my alter ego do today?

Whenever a difficult choice arises, ask the same question. If you are avoiding an important conversation, what would they do? If you are afraid to publish your work, pursue an opportunity, or enter an environment where you feel inadequate, what would they choose?

You do not need to feel like that person before taking action. Act first. The identity follows.

Your new self-image is built through the evidence created by your behavior.

Step 6: Collect Evidence for Your New Identity

Every action that aligns with your alter ego becomes proof of who you are becoming.

If your alter ego is courageous and you take action despite fear, you provide your brain with new evidence about yourself. If your alter ego is disciplined and you keep a promise you made to yourself, that becomes another piece of evidence.

Do not wait to feel confident before acting confidently. Confidence is usually the result of experience, not the prerequisite for it.

Think of every aligned action as a vote for the identity you want to build.

Step 7: Protect the Environment That Supports This Version of You

Your identity is shaped not only by what you do, but also by what you repeatedly see, hear, and consume.

Pay attention to the content, conversations, and people that reinforce your old self-image. Then become more intentional about what influences your thinking.

Instead of consuming information passively, ask yourself: Is there something here that can help the person I am becoming?

The goal is to create an environment that makes returning to your desired identity easier rather than harder.

Step 8: Repeat Until It No Longer Feels Like an Alter Ego

At first, it may feel as though you are playing a role. That is completely normal.

Continue making the same types of choices. Every morning, decide on one action your alter ego would take that day. Every evening, reflect on whether your behavior reflected the person you want to become.

If not, simply adjust your direction the next day.

Transformation rarely comes from one dramatic action. It comes from repetition.

In the beginning, you create the alter ego. Over time, through hundreds of small decisions, you realize that you no longer need to activate it. It has become your natural way of thinking and acting.

Ultimately, an alter ego is not someone else. It is a tool that helps you stop treating your current identity as permanent.

Instead of constantly asking, “Is this just who I am?” you begin asking, “Who do I need to become to create the life I want?”

And rather than waiting for that person to appear someday, you start allowing them to emerge through the choices and actions you take today.

-Much love xoxo

"The wrong people don't cure loneliness—they can deepen it. It's often lonelier to feel unseen in someone's presence than to be peacefully alone."

That hurts so much to say it and to even admit it to myself but it’s a thought that I had the other day and I realised it is so true.

At this point in my life, sadly, I am not surrounded by people that give me peace. Almost every friend that I have is either out of touch and reality or is taking me for granted and doesn’t try to keep our frienship alive. At some point I was always the person that I was making the first move to communicate, to catch up, to suggest things etc. but now I feel so exhausted by this that I am not trying, anymore. I’ll join if anything’s arranged once a month and that’s all. Nobody tries as much as I tried once. Maybe I overanalyze things but that’s my truth and that’s what I’m feeling and in general, I’m so turned off by these people. We can not call ourselves best friends and at the same time to have to deal with apathy. Since I stopped trying nobody asked me why I became more distant. No one asks what I am doing, how I am feeling with the fact that my boyfriend will be away from me for months… Literally it’s like they don’t give a shit about maintaining a deep connection and they just want something more supeficial.

I know deep inside that I should put an end to this situation. It really makes me feel more empty than actually being alone and mixed signals confuse me. We haven’t exchanged a word for weeks and when you see me you call me “love”? Really? THATS FCKIN STUPID!

It the same time, I want to clarify that I understand that we are grown ups and that everyone has their own schedule and different priorities in the day but I strongly believe that if someone cares, they make an effort. Also the timing is very important. Given that this situation is so tense in the past 6 months and I had seen the signs years ago, right now I won’t be able to reverse what I’m feeling even if I see some effort from the other side. I just want some distance. Some time to find my peace.

The feeling of disappointment is devastating when it comes from people you thought they’d be always there for you.

Hope I’ll grow out of this period and be more strong. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, they say. So cheers to me and you, dear reader!

P.S I am really grateful for the couple of friends that are still there and help ease my pain. Thank you!

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You are walking and you randomly meet a stranger, who seems to be shadowy and fierce by looking at him and instantly your mood changes. You’re feeling again that knot in the stomach and a sudden melachonly, that is washing over you. That’s not a coincidence. His energy affected you.

One day you decide to go barefoot on the grass or the sand and suddenly you realize that you’re feeling more relaxed and calm.

That’s what energy is all about. It’s the purest form of truth that we bring within ourselves and very few people let their energy flow, freely.

I mean that we have been tought since a very young age, that we have to suppress our spontaneity and feelings and that’s really catastrophic for our growing, our relations and far from the truth.

Nobody is enough to tell you the purpose of life, until you find it out by yourself. But how that is going to be possible if you have cut the ropes of your truth?! When you are disconnected from your aura, your feelings, your moral value system and you haven’t known the core of yourself, it’s like you are unbalanced and you lack purpose. Most people are unaware of what happens in their own soul and body and the rush that the contemporary society has brought is making that gap even bigger. Anxiety, melancholy, stress and a false perception that only if we work 8-10 hours per day (or even more) we’re going to live happily. THAT’S WRONG.

WE give purpose to our lives, when we do creative things and pass time with our inner self, our aura and if you understand that, then everything will make sense to you, every piece of the puzzle will align correctly and you will be able to exist, peacefully.

There are several ways and easy practices you can use to be more present and aware of your energy.

• Try some meditation. Just sit in a comfy position and try to relax your body and empty your mind . Be aware pf the present. Let you be!

• Do something tangible or crafty. Light a candle, cook a delicious meal, enjoy the moment. Touch and smell the ingredients feel their energy and purity.

• Do not rush . F.e Do your shower slowly, let yourself feel the water, don’t be in the autopilot mode.

• Try some divination tools, tarrot , runes whatever inspires you and try to reflect yourself in the random symbol you picked. How does that card make me feel. Which sector in my life suits with this card? That is a great way for self observation and thats just magical on its own.✨🫶

• get rid of toxicity and parasitic people . Clean things up with your relations and don’t try so hard to maintain or to save something that doesn’t want to be saved.

• Journaling your thoughts and your days and be honest with yourself ✨

• Observe! Look around you , let yourself feel, observe the details of the place you are in, each time.

All this help a lot and don’t forget do put intention in everything you do in this life🫶 That’s helps a lot.

Keep in mind that’s a continuous journey with ourselves! For myself too, sometimes it feels like a piece of cake to do all of the above and sometimes it’s like I have to move a mountain. But keep trying!

Much love 💕 Xoxo

Yes, my boyfriend (we’ve been together for 4 years now) is in army. And yes, it sucks.

The beginning was a nightmare full of stress, sadness, tears and the feeling of abandonment.

As a person with a small social circle -because it’s really hard to find authentic friendships that check your “boxes” and last through time- it was even more devastating for me to pass through that phase. I felt lonely, depressed and helpless because my boyfriend is the only one that really understands me, hears me and gives me loads of love. He’s not just my partner he’s my best friend, the only one that knows me so well and with him I feel free to be my true self. Frankly, the healthiest relationship i’ve ever had and I’m very grateful for it.

Now we’re in the second month of this phase (7 more months left) and I’m still trying to adapt.

I still don’t get why it’s mandatory or why it lasts so long… I mean it could be still mandatory but it would be better if they trained them for 4-5 months and then released them. But really there is no logic in the army. It’s just a waste of time, with the way it’s done and that’s getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I still feel that emotional emptiness and that void but I assume it’s a bit better. I really miss him so much but I have tried very hard to put myself together.

Here are some things that helped me :

• setting small milestones, something that’s worth waiting for ( f.e the next time you will meet or a month that passed and you made it through!)

• constant small talks during the day (as much as the circumstances allow)

• mutual understanding and reassurance that everything is fine

• LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

• imagining that time when he will come back for good and you won’t have something similar that will force you to be apart of each other.

• TIME FOR MYSELF. I realized that it’s a chance that you should transform it into a great opportunity, to self improve! Maybe do some shadow work, read, start a new hobby and pass your free time creatively. Also you could have a glow up during that period. Try to adopt healthy habits. More clean eating, exercise and pamper yourself 🫶

• Last but not least romanticizing the situation helps a bit. So put your fantasy to work!

“In the end, everything will be okay. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

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