I'll tell you what I think it means. I think it means the easy girl. The girl that barely says no. The girl who would reply softly whenever she's being yelled at.

Everybody likes the good girl. I mean... who wouldn't?

But what I'd really like to know is, what happens when the good girl has had enough? When she stops being easy? Does she suddenly become the bad girl?

See, I know what a good girl is because I am one. At least that's what I've been told. I've been approached by men... no, not approached. I've had men tell me they'd like to marry me because "I'm a good girl."

I know being a good girl should be a good thing, right? So why do I feel instant irritation when I get called a good girl? Why do I suddenly want to do everything in my power to prove them wrong?

‎I'll tell you what I think. I think good girl suddenly sounds like mumu girl.
Maybe that's why the compliment irritates me so much.

Because sometimes I don't think you're calling me good. I think you're telling me that I'm easy to handle.

You like me because I don't make things difficult. Because I don't talk back. Because I know when to keep quiet. Because I can swallow my anger and still smile at you.

And maybe the problem isn't being a good girl.
Maybe the problem is that we've made "good" synonymous with obedient.

As for me, I've accepted the good girl badge. But I'm not obedient. I'm a good girl that says no.
A good girl that talks back. A good girl that knows when something isn't right for her.

A good girl that doesn't need to be liked by everyone.

So if that makes me a bad girl, then I guess I'll live. 😌

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I've been thinking a lot about something since I wrote that note about parents forcing their children to do what they like.
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‎It's probably because I've watched it happen up close but I keep wondering : at what point does wanting the best for your child become wanting to live their lives for them?
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‎I know I'm not a parent. I know raising a child is probably one of the hardest things a person can do. But I also think there is a thin line between protecting your children and controlling them.
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‎Obviously, parents should guide their children.But there's a huge difference between saying, “I think this path would be good for you, and here's why,” and “You're doing this because I said so.”
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‎I think a child can understand that you want what is best for them and still feel hurt when what they want seems to never matter. And I think we underestimate how deeply that can affect a child.
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‎ I've watched this happen to someone close to me and then I started thinking about how many children experience some version of this. And judging by the responses I got to my original post, I clearly wasn't the only person thinking about this.

I wish this article were ending with advice, or a full-blown brochure on how parents should pay more attention to their kids' needs than their own, but unfortunately, I have nothing. Just pity. I pity them for not knowing better. But hopefully, someone or something gets through to them and helps them know better.

There is this silly notion everywhere that everyone, one way or the other, must have had or will have their heart broken by one man or woman. It is almost like a consolation prize for those who have gone through breakups.

Yes, your partner will annoy you. Yes, there will be days when you both won't want to have anything to do with each other. That is bound to happen in relationships and friendships. But not everyone is going to end up with someone who stops loving them completely.

I think it is important that when people get heartbroken, they deal with it, get over it, and stop consoling themselves with the “na everybody go chop breakfast” bullshit.

Having a mindset like this is one of the reasons people no longer take accountability for their actions. People no longer have any interest in understanding what could have caused their breakups. They just go around, put the blame on their partners, and look for the next heart to break because “e must reach everybody.”

Some of us are actually going to be loved once and loved right. Some of us are going to get married just once, and it will be right.

It is time to stop taking other people's unfortunate situations and making them a norm. Not every relationship is destined to end badly. Sometimes, people actually meet, love each other, do the work, and stay.