Plnty Walks, Now in Writing 🫛

A month ago I started a podcast called Plnty Walks. It’s as much for my own research and entertainment as it is for yours — I walk with doctors, founders, parents, experts and practitioners of all kinds, and ask them what they actually know and do when it comes to the most transformative experience of all: becoming a parent.

I’ve learned a lot since I started recording these episodes. From entrepreneurs building serious businesses while raising multiple kids — some without a nanny in sight — to a sexologist who completely reframed how I think about connection and desire after baby, a paediatric GP with the closest thing to a formula for a calmer family life, and a string of mothers and fathers who’ve been generous enough to share what’s actually hard, and what actually helps.

Not everyone loves a podcast. So here’s the easy version: the ideas, the gold nuggets — written down, so you can get to them however you like.

Peas of Mind #1: Thera Navarro 🫛

She’s a dear friend of mine, and she decided to try for a baby at 40. Her confidence that it would happen naturally (and immediately) was impressive, but it quickly had to make room for the realisation that IVF was going to get them there faster. Fast forward to today, and she’s the happy mama to three-month-old Riley, but when Thera and I walked and talked, she was 29 weeks pregnant, ready to open up about her career, her IVF journey, and everywhere the two collided.

Listen to the full conversation on Spotify: Plnty Walks, Ep. 1, Part 1 & Plnty Walks, Ep.1, Part 2

Guest: Thera Navarro - 20 years in marketing (Luxottica, Vida, Dermalogica), now a mom of one via IVF at 41.

On becoming what they call an “older mom”

I am what they call an “older mom”, fell pregnant at 41, although I embrace that. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, I think it’s just in me. I’m an aunt to three little ones I’m obsessed with, so I can’t imagine the love when this one arrives. We started trying when I was 40, at the end of 2024.

When I was 35 and single, I went back and forth on whether to freeze my eggs. I went to the fertility clinic, did all the tests, they told me my AMH levels were high, and it just felt daunting doing it alone, injecting myself every morning as a single woman. So I thought, let me not, what’s meant to be will be. And then you meet someone, and you think you’re falling in love, and another year passes. I never froze my eggs. In hindsight, it would have been a good idea, mainly because this journey, while we were lucky, means we don’t have “insurance” for a sibling now.

On the road that actually led to Rome

We started trying in August 2024 and fell pregnant straight away, then miscarried around six or seven weeks. We said, okay, we’re planning the wedding anyway, let’s enjoy the next few months, we’ll try again after. So easy to say. We started again that December. Tried IUI in January. Still nothing by February. We went to Japan for our honeymoon in April — the longest time I’d taken off work in twenty years — and came back still not pregnant. So we went to Cape Fertility. Dr. Joanne Pottow was incredible. She walked us through everything, all the tests, no reason we wouldn’t fall pregnant again — just the odds of getting what she calls a pink egg, a good one, getting further apart as you move through your twenties into your thirties into your forties. We gave it another month or two trying naturally, knowing we had a backup plan. We didn’t want to waste time. My husband and I are very decisive and if it hasn’t happened by then, we do the treatment.

We started IVF in June. Ten eggs retrieved, seven viable, six embryos. Then came the genetic testing, which is optional but recommended, because otherwise you put one embryo in, it doesn’t work, another month goes by, and five months later you’ve gone through almost everything you had. We got the results back: one euploid embryo. One with 23 chromosomes. Dr. Joanne walked in and said, you’ve got one, and we said, one? And she said, this is the most incredible news. So we did the transfer, and hoped it would take. It was almost like we had this one shot and I remember thinking, I don’t know if I can go through that again. And we were lucky. It took.

We’d love another one. If it happens naturally, it’s meant to be, but we know so many people whose first was IVF and second was spontaneous. I think attitude is a huge part of this whole journey. How much stress you’re carrying about it needing to happen right now, versus, we’re going to do everything we can, and approach it like a project. Having someone who can hold your hand and guide you through it is worth so much, because you’re not wading through fog. It felt like a seamless journey, honestly.

On why we don’t get taught any of this

I’m 41 and I had no idea about certain things — the order things happen in, what your options even are. That’s appalling, if you think about it. Why don’t we get taught about fertility, female or male, in school? Nobody talks about it enough. And when you do talk about it — when you say, I had a miscarriage — people say, me too. I had three. And you didn’t even know. Your own friends went through it in silence, hush-hush. That’s part of why I think what’s happening now, people being more honest about their struggles, matters so much.

On telling people before you know how the story ends

One of the scariest things is when do you share your news with the world. The first time we fell pregnant, I told everyone — family, close friends — and then a few weeks later I had to tell them the other news too. But you also had that support to lean on. With IVF, it landed differently, because I was open with my friends, with my boss, with close colleagues, the whole way through. Everyone knew, everyone wanted the update — how are the injections going, when’s the next scan. Everyone was invested. It’s your own little reality show, in a way. It added a bit of pressure, definitely, but I wouldn’t do it any other way. Knowing you had all these cheerleaders on the journey with you, that if things didn’t go right again, you weren’t suffering in silence, that mattered more than the pressure cost.

On what actually helped, physically and mentally

I’ve always been active, so staying fit, eating well, drinking lots of water, cutting back on alcohol through the process, meditating, because it’s all connected. And talking positively about it. We’d constantly say, we know this baby is coming, we can’t wait. Getting your tribe to know you’re trying, instead of keeping it a secret the way people used to and as soon as people knew, that’s when my sister-in-law said, go meet Dr. Joanne. So if I had to sum it up: get everybody on team baby early, so they’re working toward it with you. Look after yourself in the way you eat and drink. Move in a way that feels good to you and your body — you don’t have to overhaul your routine once you’re pregnant, just keep living well.

Boundaries mattered too. Finding what worked with work, managing stress, asking whether something is actually worth stressing about when there’s something so much bigger going on. That probably came easier to me for having spent so long in corporate, in stressful jobs, long hours — you start to realize what’s actually important at this stage of life. I have a friend whose boss once said to her, outright, well, you don’t have children, you can stay later. That’s so wrong. He doesn’t know her story, whether she’s been trying for years, whether she can’t meet someone, what journey she’s on. It’s incredibly insensitive, and you wouldn’t think it still happens in 2026. But it does.

On the ego it took to leave

Leaving was a big step. I had this amazing role, this beautiful brand, all these years that had built up to it, and my ego was definitely in the way. My husband and I talked about it for a long time. He’s a serial entrepreneur, a different approach to risk than me, and he guided me through it without ever pushing me. He just said, I can see you moving into another season, you want the change, but you’re too scared to make it. He was right. There are still days I look at the big projects I built, now coming to life, and I’m not there to see them land. But I knew it was time to step away. If I want to climb the ladder again in a few years, nothing will stop me, I’ve got the experience, and I don’t regret any of it. I loved it, the highs and the lows both. I haven’t even really gone looking for work since, I was approached for the consulting I’m doing now, and I know once I do start reaching into my network, it’ll flourish. I couldn’t have done any of this in my twenties, because I didn’t know what I know now.

I didn’t want to work right up until maternity leave and then wake up the next day with a child and no corporate identity left. So I gave myself about four months between resigning and the baby arriving, to start figuring out who I am outside of that world, on my own terms, before I had to. It’s had its ups and downs, you miss the rhythm, the routine, but I’d rather figure that out now than in the fog of the fourth trimester.

On what happens to your identity in a room

You step into a room, meet someone new, and they ask what you do. I used to say, I’m the head of marketing for Dermalogica, and people would light up — wow, tell me more. That’s where you leave your ego, I think. You immediately get placed somewhere the second you say “mom”.

I do see a real shift coming: people starting to talk about motherhood the way we used to talk about our careers. Not sugarcoating the hard parts, the exhaustion, the lack of sleep, but not leading with the complaint either. Being proud of it. This is what I’m doing, what I’m choosing and I’m flourishing.

Welcome to The Fatherhood Diaries by Plnty!

This first edition is by Zubair Timol, father of a three year old daughter and passionately obsessed runner (part time), while traveling (nearly full time) as a global exec in tech from A to B to C and back to Dubai.

Read on, he knows a thing or two about the beautiful battlefield called parenting!

PS: None of the many Dad’s I know are safe — so expect a message from me to feature in The Fatherhood Diaries soon!

For context, I’m married to a rather wonderful, patient woman, based in Dubai with a three year old daughter, traveling frequently, sleeping less frequently and slightly addicted to avocados and french fries (I mean who isn’t?).

Each day, I rise in the early hours to either run a long distance or tend to my daughter (both are character forming) and I’m learning how to become a

better

father

everyday.

Let us be honest about something. Parenting is a beautiful and entirely unpredictable battlefield. We wake up every single morning, put our armor on, and prepare to negotiate complex peace treaties before the sun even thinks about rising.

You try your absolute best to maintain an aura of sophisticated calm. You step out for the day, catching a glimpse of yourself. You are wearing Bottega Veneta, feeling like a composed global exec, ready to conquer the world. Then, out of nowhere, you are deploying evasive maneuvers to dodge a flying snack. Suddenly, that pristine woven leather is collateral damage in the morning skirmish.

You just have to look at the mess, take a deep breath, and laugh.

People often ask me how I manage the grueling distance of ultra marathons. They want to know the secret to running thirty five kilometers or more without giving up. I tell them the absolute truth. Once you have survived a full scale negotiation with a child in the middle of a busy public space (we had an episode in Loewe at Dubai Mall, it’s a story for another day), running through the heat for hours feels like a gentle holiday.

My endurance was not exclusively built on the track. It is forged at bedtime, when you are haggling over just “five more minutes” at story time. The discipline required to cross a marathon finish line is the exact same energy you need to handle a weekly schedule packed with activities.

You hit a wall, you dig deep, and you keep moving forward.

I watch my daughter grow every day, and we constantly realize we are not just raising a child. We are training a resilient human being. When we got her involved in jiu jitsu, the ultimate goal was building character and undeniable grit. It is about leaning into hard things and learning how to recover. However, I must admit, I now have to make sure my own takedown defense is absolutely solid before I dare ask her to organize her Hello Kitty collection…

To all the parents out there currently deep in the trenches, I want you to hear this. The chaos is the magic of it. The endless logistics, the ruined outfits, and the exhaustion are all part of a beautiful legacy we are building for our kids.

It takes an elite level of high performance to be a present and loving parent in the modern world.

Treat every single challenge as just another mile marker on the longest and most rewarding run of your life. And that’s a statistic that Strava will never be able to track!

Continue reading here:

Vol. 17 of our Motherhood: but make it Yours series is by Substack-mum-legend who is a mum of 3 and wrote a letter of encouragement to everyone who is considering to have more than one child.

If you need a step-by-step guide how to go from two under two to three under four (and no one is stopping you there hehe) this warm and honest read is for you.

I am often approached by new mothers in playgroups – ones that have caught whispers on the wind about my status as a mum-of-three/madwoman, despite the fact two of my children are now in school, and therefore nowhere to be seen on such occasions. Still, we live in a small town, and people notice each other.

As such, “I’ve seen you walking with three of them,” these women tell me before, in a conspiratorial whisper, “I could never do that.” They lean in closer, “you’re a super mum,” they say.

And, on the inside, I laugh and laugh and laugh.

It’s hard to understand what having children will feel like before you have them, and possibly even harder to understand what it will feel like to transition from one to two, from two to three, and so on.

Personally, I think this is a good thing. I can tell you with absolute certainty that had I known, before I had them, the black and white facts of the first few beats of my younger children’s existence – the colic and the reflux and the endless hospital visits – with absolutely none of the love or emotion attached, I might not have had them.

I can tell you, too, that would have been an unspeakable loss.

I had my first two children in quick succession. With just 19 months between them, I was versed fairly quickly on the awe of other mums. “Two under two,” they’d say as they looked at me like I’d sprouted several extra heads, “what’s that like?” I’d try to answer – never fully managing to capture it – and then suddenly I had three under four, and the questions were coming even faster, leading me to write this today in response to every new mum that has ever said to me “how on earth do you do it?” or
”I couldn’t do what you do.”

1. You probably could do it, actually.

I’m nothing special, I’m just a regular mum with more children than some other mums. If you don’t want to do it, that’s an entirely different thing. Don’t have more kids just because you feel like you should if it’s not what you want, it’s perfectly alright to fill that spare room with something different, instead. (A panic room, perhaps?)

2. If you’re worried about the love of it all, you shouldn’t be.

Here’s a story (stay with me here.) When I was in labour with my second I went to look at my first asleep in his cot, and started crying because I couldn’t stand the idea that he would ever think I didn’t love him “enough” – that he hadn’t been “enough” for me. But my desire for another baby had nothing to do with how much I loved the one I already had, and the love I had for my second and then my third had absolutely no negative impact on how much I loved the existing child/ren. There is room in your heart for as many children as you have. As we learned from the Grinch, these things are capable of growth.

3. They say it takes a village to raise a child.

Not everyone has a ready made village, but you’ll never regret building one for yourself, even if only so someone can watch the toddler while you clean up the baby’s obliterated nappy at playgroup, rather than having to worry that a tiny person will open the door and run while you’re elbow deep in poop – not good for the old cortisol, don’t put yourself in that position if you don’t need to.

4. And, finally, having three children is, yes, a lot of work.

Having any number of children is a lot of work, but as I have three I shall focus on that number for now. I have three small people totally dependent on me to keep them clean, safe, warm, loved. Three very different personalities and sets of needs all wanting to be seen and dealt with at the exact same time, all shouting for attention and all wanting to be number one in my eyes as I split the top spot between all of them. A scenario that, from the outside, no doubt looks like too much drama, but that on the inside is worth every meltdown, every sleepless night, every fall out. Everything. Because they’re magic, my children, all three.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

For more hilarious, honest and useful motherhood tips (and a fair bit of entertainment = gossip) follow ’ baby brain on Substack.

The Other Club is a space for the stories that sit alongside motherhood: The women who haven’t had kids (yet, or ever), the ones still deciding, and the ones building full lives in other ways.

Think of it as Plnty’s sister table — same energy, different conversations. We’re talking love, freedom, fears, timing, ambition.

In this edition, Ayla, my dear friend and godmother to our son, takes us on her journey of modern motherhood: one of freedom, trust and self love.

I am not a mother yet. But I write from the lens of someone who’s always wanted to become one. Many of my close friends are already mothers, my high school girl squad — all of them mothers and my mother’s friend’s daughters, also all mothers.

Societal norms say that if I want children — at my age — I should already have them or at least start making them. My best friends (the best women and mothers I know) have honoured me with two remarkable godchildren and I’d like to slip in here that I am in fact a dog mom too.

I celebrate these blessings as often as I can and tell myself that this way I get to experience the “best parts” of what it’s like to be a mom and skip the ugly or difficult parts. I have watched my friend’s fall pregnant, watched them struggle to be pregnant, watched their children grow and watched them have some more.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that becoming a mother is all I’ve ever really wanted. Even deeper than that, I could say it’s always felt like my core purpose. I say this without any judgement to mothers who have experienced contrary emotions or to any women who have chosen not to have children. I feel deeply maternal and currently channel all of these instincts into my two-year old Toy Poodle named Valentina. I received her in the midst of a season of struggle. While walking through fire, she was my only green light and even though she has four legs, she’ll always be my first born.

I would be lying if I said that I don’t sometimes feel the ache for a baby.

But today my journey is about how I’m redefining motherhood as a state of becoming rooted in self-trust, emotional growth and faith that my time will come.

Faith.

I am raised Christian, Catholic to be more specific and it’s taken me 33 years to warm up to the idea that motherhood no longer fits one mould. The classic — marriage - pregnancy - family — as I know it, is not the only path to motherhood today.

After my last relationship failed, I felt broken over the life I forecast in perfect timing. Who was I now supposed to have a child with and where would I get the time back? It’s been two years since and a lot of self-love and surrender. Faith as a surrender has been the biggest learning for my A-type persona. I am learning to release the pressure I have always put myself under. I trust that my own journey to motherhood doesn’t have to match society’s expectations. I wont abandon myself and just pick a partner for the sake of having a child because I have faith that the love meant for me and the family meant for me will align when it’s supposed to.

Having faith doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It just means refusing to panic.

I have learnt not to live from fear but that every time I start to feel behind, I remind myself that my story isn’t running late — it’s unfolding right on time. My faith means choosing to believe that love and motherhood can meet me at the same destination.

Freedom.

Changing my narrative about motherhood has opened up many new ideas to me. I realise that modern motherhood can take many forms. My mother friends have had a variety of paths to becoming mothers and it’s taught me that motherhood is not about conforming to should; it’s about aligning what works for you. My conservative upbringing neglected notions like egg-freezing, IVF, solo parenting, blended families etc.

Today I recognise that I don’t need to feel behind or left out because I have more freedom than ever before. Freedom to choose how to build my family. Freedom from timelines and outdated narratives. Freedom to love myself fully before stepping into motherhood. Freedom to date without ‘making babies’ be the core focus. There’s an incredible freedom in realising that motherhood can start with nurturing yourself — not just a child.

Self-love.

At the heart of it all, my message is loving yourself enough not to settle, rush or force your story.

My journey right now, as I surrender to it, is learning to mother myself and practice the compassion, patience and care I’ll need to give my children one day. Every act of self-love I practice today feels like a rehearsal for motherhood. My own mother is as graceful, patient, gentle and selfless as they come. I idealise her and while I listen to her hushed yearn for grandchildren, I no longer receive it as pressure, but know that she too recognises the innate mother in me.

Today I understand that I am not behind, I am becoming. The healing I’ve done, the growing, the learning boundaries have all been emotional preparation. Self-love is now at the foundation of the family I want. Self-love is not the thing that delays motherhood - it’s the thing that makes it healthier when it arrives.

Future moms I am writing from your corner. You’re not behind. You’re becoming. I encourage you to honour your path whatever it looks like. Mine is a modern one and is being built with faith, freedom and the kind of self love that doesn’t ask me to settle.

Yours truly

Ayla

I’m so excited that one of my Substack mum-friends decided to write about finding her own version of motherhood — Mica is a mum of a little girl and a DJ, has a very cool career in fashion and a Substack called . She also honestly just knows how to enjoy life (with and without her baby!).

So here it is, Vol. 16 of our series!

I now realize how many preconceived notions I had going into motherhood. Pretty naive assumptions about what it would involve, but more than anything, about what it would do to me. I have always been so excited about having a kid, but that didn’t take away from the fact that I was scared of becoming “just another mum.”

As I understood it, motherhood was going to be a limitation or a step backward from everything I’d built so far: my career, my lifestyle, my friendships, my identity.

But I was determined for that not to be the case, so I put pressure on myself to get “back to myself”, rushed back to work just 10 weeks postpartum and tried to go to dinners with friends at 9pm. Pumping in the bathroom of a client photoshoot, running on very little sleep, telling myself I can still do this while loving and caring for my newborn baby.

Then I realized that what I needed wasn’t to live in the past, but to embrace and explore the new version of me, as a mother.

It goes without saying that there are certain things I just can’t make happen anymore, which is of course frustrating at time, and priorities have shifted. But now I see how much motherhood has helped me grow in ways I could never have planned for.

Instead of holding me back, it’s also pushed me forward and intersected with my life in so many ways. I guess I assumed it would live in a separate lane? But that’s definitely not been the case:

# I started writing again and have my own creative outlet with my Substack

# I became part of a mothers’ circle, a weekly group-therapy type session that fills my cup and has helped me learn about myself

# I work with parents and kids brands and feel deep in tune with how to do a brilliant job for those clients

# I go to the same parties and social arrangements, but with more intention (and a curfew!)

I am playful, nurturing, more patient, and clearer with my energy, my time, and my boundaries than I ever was before.

Of course, that comes with the exhaustion, frustrations, and all the rest - but I am here to take the positives as much as possible and let this new motherhood journey inspire me wherever I can. We all think it’s the parents teaching our kids, but I’m grateful to my daughter Maelie for what she’s taught me as well.

So if I once thought making motherhood my personality was cringe or something to be wary of, how wrong I was. It’s not just one part of my identity, it’s a core part of who I am now and I wear that with a badge of honor. My version of motherhood isn’t one I anticipated, but I’m here to make it mine.

In this edition, on how motherhood is not only a life change — but an identity shift. In Vol. 15 of Motherhood: but make it Yours, she explores what happens when the version of yourself you loved no longer fits, and the new one hasn’t fully arrived yet. A reflection on resistance, renewal, and the courage it takes to evolve alongside your children.

Do you want to share your thoughts on motherhood? Message me.

How did I miss the memo?

One of the things I didn’t expect to struggle with when I became a mother was the shift in identity that followed.

In my twenties, I was fun-loving and carefree. I loved going to festivals, playing sport, being surrounded by people and filling my diary. I was known for my high energy and always up for some fun. That version of me felt familiar and alive.

When my husband and I first became parents, we unknowingly tried to hold onto that identity. COVID softened the transition at first as life slowed down for everyone. But when the world opened up again, it felt like a shock.

We wanted to socialise, exercise, work, see friends, do it all. And slowly, we realised it no longer worked. It wasn’t sustainable. We were parents now, and our priorities had shifted.

The identity shift I didn’t see coming

It wasn’t until I had my second child, I fully stopped resisting.

I realised the friction in my life wasn’t coming from motherhood itself, but from my resistance to becoming someone new. With two children and two businesses, there was no energy left to fight reality. I felt torn between the old version of me — the one I loved — and the new version I hadn’t yet fully claimed.

Without realizing it at the time it was a grief of the old version of me.

Growing into a new identity

This was one of those moments where couples either grow together or drift apart. My husband and I had our teething moments, but we grew together. The turbulence asked more of us and strengthened us in the process.

Becoming a mother is extraordinary. And yet, I wish someone had told me it’s okay to let go of who you were. That identity naturally shifts. It’s both a loss and a becoming.

Today, my identity looks different.

It’s about feeling good. About being intentional with my time. About doing things that nourish our family and honour my own wellbeing. I know now that to care for my children well, feeling good in myself is a top priority. And at the centre of everything is my relationship with my husband. It is the glue that holds everything as we know it together.

I celebrate who I was. That decade was carefree and full of joy. And I celebrate who I am now — someone who cares deeply, priorities their mental & physical health, and chooses family time over fun, wild time.

Why this matters?

If something in your life feels off but you can’t quite name it, it may be this quiet identity shift that comes with motherhood. Caring for another human being changes everything.

I realise as I write this that it won’t be the last identity shift. As our children grow, we will be asked again and again to let go and evolve.

The invitation isn’t to resist the change but to meet it with curiosity and compassion.

I leave you now with some questions to ponder:

 Who was I before motherhood?

 Who am I now?

 How do I want my identity to evolve?

 What wisdom has emerged from this shift?

And if you’d like to go deeper, I’ve created a short 3-day mini-course, Elevate & Align, designed to help you calm a busy mind, soften self-doubt and find steadiness within. It’s available until the end of January. Subscribe here

In this edition, we sit down with Elena Pappas Gishen, mother of two and founder of the home workout platform BodE, to talk about the parts of motherhood that don’t get wrapped in a bow: becoming a mum earlier than planned, letting go of old identities, rebuilding strength from the inside out, and learning to move slower without losing yourself. It’s a conversation about acceptance, ambition, and discovering that the life you didn’t plan can still be the one you’d never trade.

Plnty: What part of your life looks nothing like you imagined — but you wouldn’t change a thing?

Elena: Motherhood actually! I became a mom a lot earlier than I expected due to my endometriosis journey. I had laparoscopy surgery after being diagnosed with stage 3 endo, and shortly after was encouraged to fall pregnant because of how aggressively endometriosis can come back. Fast forward a few years, and I am now a mom of 2. It’s been the most incredible journey of my life and I wouldn’t change a thing!

Plnty: What’s the biggest change you experienced after becoming a mother?

Elena: Adjusting from my previously carefree and adaptable lifestyle has been tough. I’ve felt the loss of friendships, and I am still learning to navigate this new version of myself. Accepting this life where I am keeping little humans alive takes priority over everything else, but it has been a lengthy journey. Rediscovering who I am is incredibly challenging, and there are countless moments where I have felt isolated and alone. I feel like now things are starting to get a lot easier, but its taken a lot of time!

Plnty: Be honest: how do you actually fit it all in (and what quietly gets dropped)?

Elena: I don’t! Most of the time I have to compromise on one thing, and it’s never going to be my children. So naturally my career had to take a step back which was really tough at first, but now that I’ve accepted it and fully embraced my role of being a mom, it’s been a really beautiful journey. I still love what I do career wise, but I’m definitely not able to fully immerse myself into it like I did before I became a mom.

Plnty: What’s something you thought you’d lose in motherhood that you’ve actually reclaimed?

Elena: My body has surprised me! I used to think I could never be as strong as I was before, but now I am actually stronger than ever. Achieving this strength required a significant amount of time, consistency, and dedication, it hasn’t been easy! My home workout platform, BodE, has really helped me establish and stick to a routine. Prioritizing just 30 minutes a day for my own well-being has become a non-negotiable. Working out and feeling strong boosts my confidence, which ultimately makes me a better mom.

Plnty: What’s your version of self-care when the word itself feels a bit tired?

Elena: Just quiet time. I don’t always need to be doing something. As a mom, the very sacred art of doing nothing is the best form of self care!

Plnty: When was the last time you felt like, “Yes — this is me”?

Elena: Right now! 2026 is my year of self acceptance, less comparison, more kindness and moving slower without guilt.

Plnty: What’s your love language with yourself these days?

Elena: I’m an acts of service kind of girl! Cleaning the house, making things neat and decluttering just makes me so happy.

Plnty: What’s something that still scares you about running your own thing and how do you move through it?

Elena: I often struggle with the fear of becoming irrelevant in the fitness world. Workout trends come and go, and there’s always something newer and more exciting on the horizon, whether it be a new studio in town or a new fitness movement that everyone is following. I constantly brainstorm ways to keep my online platform fresh and engaging. Since I don’t have the opportunity to motivate people in person, it can be quite challenging to think of innovative strategies to keep my audience motivated and engaged with my workout programs.

Plnty: What’s the kindest thing you’ve done for yourself in 2025? And what are you looking to carry more of into 2026?

Elena: In 2025, I accepted a slower and more private life. I took the pressure off myself of having to always show up and deliver when I didn’t actually have the capacity to do so. This year I aspire be better at everything I do as a business woman, mother, wife & friend, but in a way that inspires others. Not for having the most followers or for posting reels that go viral. I want to inspire women to be real, authentic & confident. I want to be that girl, that wife, that mom!

Plnty: What would you tell the ‘you’ who was still figuring it out, the one who is just starting?

Elena: Hang in there, don’t rush it and stop comparing yourself to others. You are running your own race and success takes time. Don’t let social media make you feel like you aren’t enough - every single person is posting a fully curated life of what they want others to see. Turn off the noise, focus on your vision, and keep certain things private. Quietly build, loudly succeed!

Plnty: What are you most proud of?

Elena: Family! My husband, my kids and my 2 dogs. It doesn’t get better than this. I’m so blessed!

I love the idea of new beginnings and reflecting on what worked and what I want to do more (or less) of in the future. Some things are constants and habits that don’t need an overhaul, others need to be (re)prioritised.

I really hope that 2026 becomes a year that you’re excited to look back on!

One thing I want always and forever is for our babies (and ourselves) to continuously grow, flourish, and thrive. But even though (or perhaps because of) the insane amount of (mostly unsolicited) advice, products, apps, and reels, it’s hard to settle on what that actually means. So I decided to have a good and honest look at how we do things as a family.

I’ve learnt an incredible amount since becoming a mum, I’m intrigued by what (eastern and western) science says and I can pinpoint a few things that help us to thrive, so here we go:

1. Real Food (you know exactly what I mean by that)

You also know that input determines output.

What do you feed yourself? Do you feel good after (most) meals? Why is that?

What do you feed your baby? Do you breastfeed? Give formula? A mix of both? I find that the most important thing is that you are in the driver’s seat, not guilt, pressure, or circumstance.

Dr. Yesheen Singh recently wrote a piece for Plnty on real-world nourishment, fertility and longevity - it has a ton on valuable insight into the power of food. Read it here.

When your baby starts eating solids, I think it’s worth asking: what do I want these meals to do?

Beyond “introducing new tastes” food is fuel for a rapidly developing brain. Protein and healthy fats (think eggs, avocado, small fish, good, high-fat yoghurt) are essential building blocks for the entire family. So you’ll never find bland purees in my house but real food that sets a foundation for energy, growth, and focus.

I also find it’s just way easier to cook one meal for the whole family and not getting kids used to an à la carte lifestyle from the age of 6 months…

We loved using the Solid Starts App - absolutely mind-blowing library of seemingly every ingredient under the sun as well as a ton of family-style recipes that made the above more than manageable.

2. Nature, Daily.

Screens and stress are everywhere. Nature is literally the antidote.

And the research is clear: daily time outside lowers cortisol, improves sleep, boosts immune function, and helps regulate tiny (and your) nervous systems. It doesn’t have to be a mountain hike, it can be 20 minutes in the local park, walking barefoot on grass, or sitting under a tree. Babies don’t need curated stimulation, the natural world provides it, free and freely.

PS: If you live in or visiting Cape Town, join our mountain walks on Mondays or Thursdays at 07:30AM. Bring your baby, dog, grandparents - community is everything! DM me for more details.

3. Space for Their Pace

Babies don’t arrive with timetables. They arrive with curiosity. Letting them lead, deciding what catches their attention, how long they want to play with a stick or chase a ball, gives them a sense of agency and is incredible for developing confidence.

Some of the best developmental play is the least structured. Watch what they notice, mirror it, and resist the urge to constantly “direct.”

4. Rhythm vs Schedule

I’m not a fan of strict schedules. But I’ve learned that my son thrives on predictability and a daily rhythm.

Instead of “at 7:03PM this has to happen,” I think in sequences. Dinner → bath → full body oil rub (especially the feet and toes for good sleep!) → rough play with Dad → book(s) with me → sleep.

The rhythm teaches your baby what comes next, helps them feel safe, and lets them fall into rest easily. Predictable rhythm = signals.

5. Mum’s + Dad’s Nervous Systems

One of the most overlooked “ingredients” for a thriving family? Our own mental and physical state!

Science is clear that babies can only regulate with and through us. So a calm, grounded parent helps produce a calm, grounded child. That means prioritising your own nervous system: walking, breathwork, exercise, a (quiet) cup of matcha or coffee — whatever helps you.

And this is where Mum and Dad matter differently. Research shows babies release different hormones when interacting with mothers vs fathers — oxytocin and comfort with Mum, dopamine and play with Dad. Both matter.

And both parents thrive when they remind each other to take care of themselves.

But perhaps your nervous system needs something entirely different: a (crazy) adventure, proper me-time, a girls trip (to New York?), learning a new skill, moving to another country (what that’s like at 30 weeks pregnant, told us in her Motherhood piece).

It’s all in the details, but somehow it’s also big picture stuff.

To me, helping our babies thrive isn’t about perfection or about following a rigid script. It’s about creating an environment where food, nature, freedom, rhythm, and calm come together to form a foundation.

When those elements are in place, you see it: the curiosity, the confidence, the joy and the deep sleep — in them and in us :)

X Julia

Wow, what a year!

So many of you openly shared your fertility and pregnancy journeys, unexpected turns, different approaches on wellbeing, nutrition, fashion, travel and outlook on life (with or without babies). I am so grateful to all of you wanting to be a part of Plnty — either reading along, supporting me in a million different ways or sharing a piece of your journey or knowledge with us!

Plnty exists because navigating fertility, pregnancy, and early motherhood shouldn’t feel like a solo project.

Not fragmented across advice columns, whatsapp groups, appointments, and late-night ChatGPT conversations. Not loud with opinions, but grounded in credible sources and experts and real community with other women.

Plnty is an attempt to build something different — a way through these seasons that feels informed, calm, and confident. A place where nuance is allowed. Where curiosity isn’t rushed. Where you don’t have to justify your questions before you’re met with care.

In 2025, many different voices helped turn that intention into something tangible.

All of you contributing to Plnty brought experience, expertise, honesty, and perspective — not content for content’s sake, but thinking that helps women orient themselves. Together, we shaped The Plnty Edit into more than a publication: a reference point, a place to pause, and a sense of being in good company.

Thank you to my number 1 fan, my incredible husband, and to all of you contributing to Plnty in 2025 — you rock!

Anna Borle

Alexia Rosenberg

Boudewijn Bos

Catriona Boffard

Chantal Cohen

Charlotte Loop

Dominque Whitman

Dr Rupa Robbins

Dr Yesheen Singh

Flora Allardice

Frida Bos

Kiya Taylor

Lotte Bikker

Marina Moffard

Noor Hofland

Olivia Wright

Rushda Moosajee

Sonja Hudson

Stefni Bridges

Zita Devine

Each of you brought something distinct — and that range of voices is not accidental. Plnty is intentionally built at the intersection of wellbeing, identity, work, motherhood, and lived experience. It only works if it reflects and enables the real life of mothers and future mothers.

Looking ahead to 2026

Plnty is still early — and that’s important to say.

There are many exciting things quietly taking shape for 2026: new formats, deeper expert access, more ways to connect, and spaces (digital and physical) designed to support women not just as mothers, but as whole people moving through demanding seasons of life.

The ambition isn’t scale for scale’s sake.
It’s depth. Continuity. Trust.

There are many voices I’d love to invite into Plnty next year — you can be sure that I’ll reach out to you! And if there’s someone you think belongs in this conversation I want to hear about them, send me a message please:

Plnty is being built deliberately, and in good company.

Happy New Year!
X Julia

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Leading doctors, researchers, psychologists and practitioners are sharing depth and context in a way that feels accessible rather than overwhelming — thoughtful conversations instead of quick fixes.

Because I love podcasts so much, I’ve created the Plnty Listening Edit: a carefully curated list of episodes that are genuinely worth your time. The ones that add clarity rather than noise. Save it, return to it, and listen slowly — in whatever pockets of time your week allows: while walking, driving, feeding, folding laundry, or just trying to come back to yourself.

The right conversation at the right moment can feel like someone quietly thinking alongside you. This list is exactly that for me — episodes I’ve returned to, sent to friends, or saved for later. I hope it offers something similar to you.

Fertility & Reproductive Health

1. Huberman Lab — How to Optimize Fertility in Men & Women

Why Plnty likes it
A clear, science-based explanation of fertility as a shared responsibility, covering both egg and sperm health.

Topics include
Lifestyle factors, timing, supplementation, what actually matters — and what doesn’t.

2. WHOOP Podcast — Dr Natalie Crawford: Female Hormone Health & Fertility

Why Plnty likes it
Grounded, empowering, and non-alarmist — especially helpful if you’re navigating uncertainty or information overload.

Why it belongs
Approachable conversations with a OBGyn, fertility doctor & hormone specialist, bridging medical insight and real life — relevant not only for people who want to have kids but those who want to take control of their (hormonal) health.

3. Huberman Lab — Dr Thaïs Aliabadi: Female Hormone Health, PCOS, Endometriosis, Fertility & Breast Cancer

Why Plnty likes it
A clear, science-led overview of female hormone health that cuts through confusion without creating fear. Especially helpful if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by conflicting information around cycles, fertility, or diagnoses like PCOS or endometriosis.

Topics include

• How female hormones work across the cycle

• PCOS and endometriosis explained

• Fertility implications and what actually matters

• Hormones and breast health, in context

Women’s Health, Hormones & Longevity

1. The Diary Of A CEO — Women’s Health & Hormone Debates

Why Plnty likes it
This conversation brings together rare depth and authority in women’s health — without dumbing things down or sensationalising them. Hearing leading experts speak candidly about the gaps in research, everyday habits that quietly disrupt hormones, and what actually supports long-term health makes this an essential listen for anyone navigating cycles, fertility, or perimenopause.

Topics include

• Hormone imbalance, irregular cycles, PCOS and endometriosis

• Fertility, insulin resistance and metabolic health

• The impact of stress, sleep, training and muscle mass on hormones

• Cycle syncing and the role of the luteal phase

• Why birth control isn’t a cure — and what lifestyle changes can help

2. Brain Biohacking Podcast — Dr. James DiNicolantonio

Why Plnty likes it
This episode offers a grounded, science-led look at nutrition and metabolic health without sensationalism. Dr James DiNicolantonio explains complex topics — like minerals, insulin resistance and cardiovascular health — in a way that feels practical and empowering, especially for anyone thinking about long-term wellbeing, fertility, energy and resilience.

Topics include

• The role of salt and essential minerals in overall health

• Soil depletion and why mineral intake matters

• Metabolic health, insulin resistance and fertility implications

• Inositol and its role in hormonal and metabolic balance

• Cholesterol, cardiovascular health and evolving science

• Simple, realistic nutrition and lifestyle strategies

Career & Motherhood

1. Raising Good Humans — What Happens to Your Brain When You Become a Parent with Dr. Aliza Pressman

Why Plnty likes it
This podcast offers something many parents are quietly craving: steady, trustworthy guidance without judgement. Dr. Aliza Pressman brings evidence-based insight together with lived experience, making each episode feel like a grounded conversation rather than a lesson. It’s supportive, realistic, and designed to reduce overwhelm — not add to it.

Topics include

• Child development and emotional regulation

• Parenting through different stages with confidence

• Practical tools rooted in developmental psychology

• Navigating behaviour, boundaries and connection

• Raising resilient, emotionally secure humans

2. Big Careers, Small Children Podcast

Why Plnty likes it
This podcast tackles one of the quiet tensions so many parents carry: how to stay ambitious and present. Through honest conversations with senior leaders, it normalises the reality of building a meaningful career alongside young children — without framing it as a trade-off. It’s practical, reassuring, and deeply validating for parents who want both impact and connection.

Topics include

• Balancing ambition with presence in early parenthood

• Career progression with young children

• Redefining leadership after becoming a parent

• Navigating guilt, trade-offs, and confidence at work

• Practical decisions that support both family life and long-term careers

3. WorkLife Stories Podcast

🔗 Single Parenting with Orla Donoghue

🔗 The Job Share Revolution

🔗 Working Parents - Finding (Im)perfect Balance

Why Plnty likes it
Real talk about work, boundaries, sustainable ambition and finding your own way.

Parenting, Identity & Mental Load

1. Slo Mo: A podcast with Mo Gawdat — Overcoming Parenting Guilt and Relationship Challenges with Zoe Blaskey

Why Plnty likes it
With a background in coaching and a passion for mental well-being, Zoe creates content that offers practical advice, emotional support, and inspiring stories for mums everywhere.

2. Slo Mo: A Podcast with Mo Gawdat — The Attachment Theory Expert: How Our Childhoods Are Affecting Relationships and Love with Dr. Natalie Cawley

Why Plnty likes it
This episode brings clarity to something many parents feel but struggle to name: how our own attachment patterns shape the way we show up in relationships — including with our children. Dr Natalie Cawley explains attachment theory with warmth and nuance, making it feel relevant, compassionate, and deeply practical rather than academic.

Topics include

• Attachment styles and how they form

• How early experiences shape adult relationships

• Attachment theory in parenting and partnership

• Emotional regulation, safety and connection

• Breaking unhelpful patterns with awareness, not blame

Send me your favorite episodes please for Vol. 2 of The Plnty Listening Edit:

Energy is something we often renegotiate during these chapters. What once felt energising can suddenly feel overstimulating; what worked before no longer lands the same way.

This conversation began there. With matcha — not as a rule or a replacement for coffee, but as a gentler option some women reach for when they want focus without the edge. Together with Kira and Amy, both mothers (to be), and Mikayla McClean, founder of Ceremony, we talk about matcha in real life: morning routines, caffeine tolerance, pregnancy considerations, and why “how it feels” matters as much as “what it does”.

Plnty: Be honest, what was that first cup like? Love at first sip or an acquired taste?

Kira: My first taste of matcha was actually matcha ice cream in Singapore when I was 16 — and I thought it was incredible. I had just started getting into green tea at the time, so I think my association with anything in the green tea / matcha realm has always been positive. I wasn’t a full-on matcha drinker yet, but when I moved to New York in 2014, I really got into it. When I returned to South Africa a few years later there wasn’t any good-quality matcha around, and because I love coffee too, matcha took a bit of a back seat. It was only when Ceremony came along that I realised how much I’d missed it.

Amy: I can’t remember my first cup, but for sure the matcha quality wasn’t as great as what you can get now. I do love green tea so it wasn’t hard to enjoy matcha.

Plnty: For someone who’s never tried matcha before, how would you describe the feeling — not the flavour, but the energy?

Mikayla: Matcha feels like a deep breath and an exhale. It’s alert but never anxious. It’s energy that supports you, not energy that takes from you.

Amy: I love the alertness matcha gives me, I feel switched on. I did learn over time that I couldn’t have it on an empty stomach or too early in the morning and I usually stick to one matcha a day.

Plnty: What made you swap your morning coffee for matcha in the first place? Was it curiosity, pregnancy, or pure survival?

Kira: I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant — and full disclosure, I genuinely love both coffee and matcha. I always have. I actually think I knew I was pregnant the moment I woke up and suddenly couldn’t stomach the idea of either. I’ve never understood how people “don’t drink coffee or tea,” and yet there I was, sipping lemon water and ginger tea like a new person. Around 10 weeks, my appetite for both came back, but I naturally gravitated toward matcha because it felt gentler. So now my mornings are mostly matcha — unless I’m doing a big cardio workout, in which case I’ll reach for an iced latte (sometimes even decaf because honestly, the placebo is enough!).

Plnty: Kira, how did your body respond after a week or two? Energy, sleep, calmness; did anything surprise you?

Kira: I live a really healthy lifestyle, so I generally feel good 99% of the time — lots of energy, good sleep, and pretty grounded overall. The biggest difference for me was actually in my gut. I don’t usually eat breakfast first thing (although pregnancy changed that — now I have something within an hour, even if it’s just a date with peanut butter or half a banana before a workout). Since I often have coffee or matcha on an empty stomach, I can say for sure that matcha feels much gentler. And I love the idea of starting my day with something so vibrantly green.

Plnty: Mikayla, the word Ceremony is your brand name: what does ritual mean to you in a world that moves so fast?

Mikayla: Ritual to me, is an invitation to pause. In a world that asks us to Go Go Go, to produce, to always be “on” a ritual is a tiny act of rebellion, a moment where we choose presence over pressure. With Ceremony, the goal is to help people reclaim small pockets of calm. Even just whisking matcha for 30 seconds can be a grounding reminder that you’re allowed to slow down and savour life.

Plnty: From a nutritional standpoint, what makes matcha special? How does it interact with the body differently to coffee?

Mikayla: Because you’re consuming the whole leaf, matcha offers a much more concentrated dose of antioxidants, vitamins and amino acids. When it comes to energy, matcha contains caffeine but also L-theanine which slows caffeine’s absorption. So instead of a spike and a crash like coffee you get sustained, balanced energy that lasts for 4-6hours.

Plnty: Many of our readers are pregnant or breastfeeding. What’s your take on matcha during these phases and how can it fit safely and mindfully into those seasons?

Mikayla: Every woman’s body and medical advice is unique, so it’s always best to check with your doctor/ nutritionist. But in general matcha can absolutely fit into pregnancy or breastfeeding as long as you’re mindful of total daily caffeine.

One serving of matcha is usually well within recommended limits and many friends of mine who are mothers love that matcha feels more gentle and nourishing than coffee during this chapter.

Plnty: During pregnancy or breastfeeding, how did matcha fit into your routine? Did it help you feel more balanced or just less wired?

Kira: I’m still enjoying both coffee and matcha, and my body responds well to each. The biggest shift since being pregnant is that before, I’d usually have either a coffee or matcha in the morning and a matcha around 2 p.m. to carry me through the afternoon. Now, I choose one — matcha or coffee — in the morning, and that’s it. No second cup.

Amy: During pregnancy I slowed down on the matcha as my nervous system was already pretty wired and my hormones had of course changed. Having quite the pressurising job and being pregnant meant I wanted to be careful about adding anything to my day that would cause further buzz.

Plnty: Did it change your mornings or your sense of ritual or the way you start the day?

Kira: Definitely. If I’m having a coffee, it’s always from a café. Matcha, on the other hand, is something I make at home about 80% of the time — and I really love the ritual. In the mornings I prepare a delicious breakfast for Hachi (my cockapoo bestie!), and while he’s eating, I make my matcha. It gives me a few minutes to think about my day and set an intention. By the time I’m pouring my matcha into my cute glass take-away cup, Hachi is done eating, and we’re walking out the door together. I feel so lucky that my mornings start this way.

Plnty: Many women describe coffee as a “jolt” and matcha as a “flow.” Does that resonate for you?

Kira: Perhaps one could say coffee launches you into the day, and matcha guides you into it. For me, there’s a time and place for both.

Amy: I can’t compare matcha to coffee as I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but I do like that matcha doesn’t have a “come down” and I just feel alert and uplifted after having one.

Plnty: There’s a lot of confusion about caffeine in matcha: is it really “gentler,” and if so, why?

Mikayla: Yes, That’s where L-theanine enters the chat. It helps soften the stimulating effects of caffeine, creating a calmer more grounded alertness. No jitters, no anxiety spike, and most importantly - no crash later on.

Plnty: What role do antioxidants and L-theanine play in matcha’s impact on focus, mood, or anxiety?

Mikayla: Matcha is one of the most antioxidant-rich foods on the planet - especially in a compound called EGCG, which helps reduce inflammation and supports cellular health.

Together with L-theanine, it becomes this beautiful duo: antioxidants caring for your body and L-theanine caring for your mind. promoting focus, reducing stress, supporting a more stable mood.

Plnty: How do you personally enjoy your matcha? What’s your go-to ritual, and does it change through the seasons?

Mikayla: In the mornings, I love a classic warm matcha (never hot as you could burn the powder which affects the taste) made intentionally with water and a splash of almond m*lk using the traditional tools Chawan and Chasen.

In summer, I’ll switch to iced matcha and if I’m feeling like something sweeter or more indulgent I’ll elevate my Ceremony Matcha with honey and salt OR our new sugar free syrup at the Ceremony Matcha Bar, so no major spikes in sugar levels! But no matter the season, the ritual of making matcha is always the moment I look forward to. It’s where everything slows down for a moment (and you feel that at the Matcha Bar too).

Plnty: Kira, what’s your favourite way to make it now: pure, iced, with m*lk, a dash of honey?

Kira: Don’t judge, but I make my matcha in a Nespresso frother! 250ml Babylonstoren buffalo milk (when they have stock) or hemp & macadamia m*lk I make in my Nama Milk Maker + 1 teaspoon Ceremony Matcha + 1 tablespoon Sun Potion Tocos + ½ teaspoon raw creamed honey + a pinch of sea salt. It’s honestly the best.

Amy: Definitely matcha with macadamia m*lk: 1/3 water, 2/3 macadamia m*lk when I make it myself. Ceremony do the perfect flat white combo which I love grabbing on the go.

Plnty: And finally, beyond the physical benefits, what do you think matcha represents for women right now - maybe even symbolically?

Amy: My matcha is something special. I think there is a uniqueness in being a matcha drinker instead of a coffee drinker. If I have to summarise it in one word I’d say it feels very deliberate.

Mikayla: I think matcha represents Choice, permission to choose feeling well over burnout, softness over stress, and nourishment over depletion. It’s a reminder that we can support ourselves gently, mindfully and beautifully. And my Choice, is making those moments feel like a Ceremony.

I’ve been thinking about how I actually found my way into my version of motherhood over the past two years. Not a Pinterest version, not a five-parenting-books-on-your-nightstand version, not advice-from-strangers-in-passing version.

Just mine.

Rhythms, Not Rules

Before having a baby, I thought I’d be a routine person. A schedule person. A “milestone” person.

Turns out: I am none of those people.

What I did find was rhythm—gentle, predictable cues that gave both of us a sense of flow without turning me into a project manager of my own child. Morning walks on the mountain with the dogs. Slow breakfasts. Bath time that signals that the day is closing. The same rotation of (enthusiastically made up) songs before bed.

Small rituals that make the days feel solid, not controlled.

I didn’t plan it this way. It just happened. And then I realised: Oh, this is my mothering style. This is how I do it.

Expectations vs. Reality

Unmet expectations in motherhood: the fantasy of ease, the shock of reality. But my biggest surprise was that I actually like the mother I am.

I like that I don’t rush him.
I like that I choose connection over performance.
I like that “getting it right” is less important than being present.

Some days I fail at that, obviously. I’m not a saint (?!). But the north star is there.

The (Big) Personality

Turning two: suddenly not just my baby—but a whole, real person.

Louis is sweet and determined, silly and observant, joyful and incredibly clear on what he wants. Watching his personality flourish has done something else to me that I didn’t expect: it’s made me clearer too.

He mirrors me. He softens me. He tests me. (Definitely not in this order).
He teaches me about my own impatience, my own (in)flexibility, my own values—far more than any book ever has.

Toddlers are the world’s most honest feedback loop. Nothing exposes your blind spots and your brilliance quite like a small human who loves you endlessly but has zero time for your ego. As in, ZERO.

Dog Lessons

Having dogs before having a baby was the best training ground for us.

Dogs teach consistency.
They teach presence and the importance of play.
They teach you that energy matters more than words.
They teach you that a calm nervous system creates a calm home.
They teach you that routine doesn’t have to be rigid to work—it just has to be reliable.

And most importantly: dogs teach you unconditional love without keeping score. That training alone was worth its weight in gold.

Playground Friends

One of the biggest gifts of motherhood has been the friendships I never saw coming:
the mums I met in the sandpit, at swimming lessons, on the mountain, in the park.

These incredible women have become part of my daily rhythm, people who understand the big and small victories, the micro-dramas, the “is this normal?” spirals, the (endless) shared snacks, the solidarity and the fun of it all.

Being honest about how and why we do things—sleep choices, food choices, boundaries, whatever—has made these friendships deeper than many I’ve had for years. Motherhood accelerates connection like nothing else.

Old Friends, New Love

The most unexpected joy is watching my old friends—especially the ones without kids—fall in love with our son in their own ways.

Their curiosity.
Their gentleness.
Their delight in who he is becoming.

No one prepares you for how moving that is. It’s a quiet expansion—of our world, his world, and the invisible threads between all of us.

DILF

Ok, and absolutely nothing prepares you or compares to your partner becoming a parent—just wow. And I’m not talking about the big (“shareable”?!) moments but the little-daily-family-private-special ones.

Morning cuddles, rough and tumble before bedtime, pool play that looks way too wild for a mama’s heart, constant encouragement to take risks, the ability to turn everything into a joke, being solid and soft at once, and laughing—all the time.

It’s honestly the best thing since sourdough. And we looooove sourdough.

Almost Two Years In

So here I am, two years into mothering, and what I know now is this:

My “style” isn’t something I decided.
It’s something that revealed itself through daily repetition, through trial and error, through loving this little human who changes and expands me constantly.

I don’t know what kind of mother I’ll be at three years, or five, or fifteen.
But I like who I am right now.

Happy 2nd birthday, King Louis! And thank you for making us parents—the wildest ride one can possibly book on the market.

Tap the 🤎 and forward it to a mum who is in the thick of it. And if you’re craving mre honest voices, and more of this energy, you’ll find it inside Plnty — our growing home for mothers and mothers-to-be who want to feel confident in their choices, bodies, and lives.

Every Monday this series brings you a new voice. Do you want to feature in it? Message me.

We’re building a place where real support means more than a quick Google. In the Plnty app, you’ll soon be able to access thoughtful, credible guidance from experts who get it — from fertility specialists, acupuncturists, psychologists, nutritionists, sexologists, doulas to paediatricians and pelvic floor specialists.

This week: We spoke with Dr. Yesheen Singh, a functional medicine doctor whose work sits at the intersection of biology, longevity and real-world nourishment. He’s helped thousands of women move through fertility journeys, pregnancies and postpartum seasons with clarity — not fear — and his approach to food, supplements and modern wellbeing is refreshingly grounded.

In this conversation, he cuts through the noise: what matters, what doesn’t, and how women can nourish themselves (and their babies) with confidence.

Plnty: You’ve worked at the intersection of medicine and nutrition for years. What first drew you to look at food as part of the prescription, not just background noise?

Yesheen: In 2010, I returned to Cape Town from working in London, disillusioned with the Western medical model of symptom control with side-effect riddled pharmaceuticals, “postponing the inevitable” rather that offering real healing. I was intent on becoming a sculptor but something inside kept me searching for a different way of practicing medicine, a search for an unknown piece of an incomplete puzzle…

I was invited to a talk by a visiting doctor on functional medicine, a science- backed integrative medicine philosophy and I felt like I stepped from the role of Doctor into the role of Healer for the first time. I felt inspired and opened the first dedicated functional medicine practice in South Africa, where we helped people heal from all sorts of chronic disease.

Functional medicine focuses on correcting or managing the underlying contributors to imbalance in the body and I quickly saw how influential poor diet was in almost every case I worked on, and how much sustainable healing could be created through a healthy diet. Nutrition is now central to my approach to cultivating health and longevity.

Plnty: When a woman is trying to conceive, there’s suddenly a flood of “must-take” supplements and “miracle” diets. If you had to simplify, what actually matters most in the early stages of trying?

Yesheen: Nutrition for fertility or pregnancy is indeed an important element of the process but it has succumbed to capitalism as most things in modern life, whether its someone trying to sell you a supplement or a diet plan. They take advantage of the natural fears new parents have - am I doing anything that could negatively impact my child’s present and future health and wellbeing? - and offer you false assurances and guarantees.

The fact is the placenta and foetus are very capable of obtaining the building blocks required for growth from mom’s body - think of how mom’s brain shrinks as lipids are repurposed to build baby’s neurological system. In my opinion, a healthy food and supplement plan is there to primarily ensure that mom stays healthy during pregnancy and has “top-ups” of the macronutrients and micronutrients baby is using to build itself. If you have a healthy, balanced whole food diet, you should have all your bases covered.

It’s when people veer away from a healthy, balanced, whole food diet that shortfalls and deficiencies appear. A nutritionist or dietician will be of great support in identifying pre-existing gaps and offer you advice on how to adapt your meal plan to plug these gaps.

Supplementation steps in when a gap cannot easily be plugged through effective meal planning, e.g. a plant-based person needing to consume more concentrated protein for their body size and using a plant-based protein shake to do so. Or when mom can’t keep solids down for long due to morning sickness and a comprehensive meal replacement shake conveniently and quickly fills the gap.

In terms of which nutrients I would pay attention to, I rate amino acids (protein), omega 3 fatty acids and minerals as my top three. All possible to obtain through whole foods and supplementation.

Plnty: From your perspective, how big a role does nutrition really play in fertility? Is it marginal or can it genuinely shift outcomes?

Yesheen: I believe it is central to ensuring a woman has a healthy experience, from ovulation, fertilisation, implantation, pregnancy, delivery through to lactation and postpartum healing. If we think about our body as a system, there are only four inputs - food, air, sunshine and water - used to create and maintain our physical health. Fertility is one of the outputs of this system, along with good health and lifespan, and if we desire a good output, we need to ensure we add the best quality inputs into the system.

Plnty: Once pregnancy begins, everything changes — hormones, appetite, even digestion. What do you wish more women understood about how their nutritional needs evolve trimester by trimester?

Yesheen: As a woman moving along the fertility pathway, I would encourage the mindset of accepting that your body will change everyday, and sometimes in several ways in the same day. Being open to change as a normal state of being will go a long way to learning to surf the wave of change instead of getting pushed under by it.

Change can come from many sources - from the changing needs of your body, the changing needs of baby, the changing environment and people around you, and often all at once! Being willing to observe what your present needs are without judging them will help greatly in creating a smoother flow through the pregnancy journey. Your body is a great communicator and will always inform you of your present needs. The mind sometimes has a challenge in interpreting the body’s messages into communication you can understand. Lean into trust of your body but also constrictively question if your first interpretation is the only one possible.

Most often change is healthy and within a safe norm. Infrequently, it may be a source of concern.

Having trustworthy, qualified sources of information to help discern between the two is an important support system you need to have in place as you enter the fertility journey, be this other parents who have walked this path before you, a reputable online resource, and certainly a qualified healthcare professional.

Julia: So many expectant mums are told to “just take a prenatal.” But where’s the line between a well-designed supplement and a false sense of security?

Yesheen: This question requires a healthy dose of self-honesty - are you someone who eats a healthy, balanced diet, with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables? Or is your diet more processed? If the latter, you should definitely be on some form of comprehensive nutrient supplement. If the former, then you may want to consider specific nutrient support, e.g. omega 3s or iron. This can often be confirmed with lab testing.

It’s also important to bare in mind that no nutrition or supplement plan will provide absolute security. There are many more elements at play in the growth and development of a healthy baby.

But trying your best to eat healthily will go a long way towards keeping mom and baby safe and healthy through the experience.

Plnty: You talk about synergy, so nutrients working together rather than in isolation. Can you share a few pairings that matter most during pregnancy and postpartum? Can it be achieved through diet alone or only through a combination of food and supplements?

Yesheen: Calcium and Vitamin D are an important synergistic nutrient requirement, working together to build and maintain strong bones, cardiovascular and immune systems. Vitamin C and Iron are another important pairing, from both an absorption and functionality perspective. In truth, all nutrients are interconnected if we look deep enough in the body. Nature often packages synergistic nutrients together and sometimes traditional food preparation methods or food combinations match synergistic nutrients together. Another truth is that our body keeps pools of nutrients around, from which it pulls when needed. So don’t feel pressured to perfectly pair every nutrient or meal - focus on eating a healthy, balanced meal plan and let your body balance out the rest. And add in supplement support if and when you identify any shortfalls.

Plnty: After birth, nutrition often drops down the list. What are the biggest gaps you see in new mothers and how can they start to replenish, realistically? What are the top 5 nutrient needs in early postpartum and the best ways to ensure our bodies get what they need at that stage?

Yesheen: New mom’s often don’t have the energy or mind-space to plan and create healthy balanced meals for themselves. This may lead to a reliance on convenience and prepared meals, which have higher fat, salt, preservatives and flavouring levels, and lower levels of the macro- and micronutrients the body needs to repair and regenerate after the intensity of pregnancy and birth.

The gap between what mom’s body needs and what it gets leads to significant impact, including poor wound healing, slower milk production, changes to mood and immunity, poor sleep, etc.

My advice is to first focus on getting in a healthy, balanced meal at least once a day. Spend your money on sourcing in if you can’t make at home.

Thereafter, you can assess your broader diet for the following nutrients:

Protein - aim for 0.8g per kg of body weight per day if not breastfeeding, and 1.2g per kg if breastfeeding. This can come from food or supplementation like a protein shake.

Omega 3 - aim for 750-1000mg per day of combined EPA and DHA for the 3-6 months following delivery, then drop to 500mg per day. These are used to build the cell membrane of every cell in the body. So with a new baby growing there will be an increased demand for these. If there isn’t sufficient coming in through the diet, the placenta and mom’s body will break down some of her own tissue in order to free up omega 3’s and other building blocks for baby to continue growing. The link between poor omega 3 intake and baby brain and postpartum depression is clear. Omega 3’s are sourced most commonly from fatty fish like sardines, salmon and mackerel, or from plant based sources like chia and flax seeds, although these need to undergo some transformation in the liver before becoming accessible. Supplementation is an easy fix and you want to look for high levels of DHA and EPA and are sourced from fish or algae. ALA-based options are less efficient in my opinion.

Calcium - aim for 1300mg per day for breastfeeding mothers and 1000mg for other postpartum women, sourced from leafy greens veggies, some dairy products and supplementation. This is crucial for bone health of both mom, who will be replenishing her stores used to grow baby, and baby, if breastfed, who will be growing new bone and nerve tissue.

Iron - aim for at least 9mg per day, and up to 30mg per day if mom was anaemic during pregnancy. This helps mom recover from the blood loss during delivery and helps increase energy capacity and fight fatigue. Food-based sources include lentils, leafy greens and poultry, and iron supplementation is easily available. Remember to combine with vitamin C to support better absorption.

Vitamin C - aim for at least 200mg daily, easily sourced from fresh fruit, leafy greens and in supplement form. This vitamin is essential for immune system functionality and the immune system is responsible managing mom’s healing and repair after delivery, boosting her immunity and if breastfeeding baby’s as well. It also assists with iron absorption.

Vitamin B12 - aim for 2.6-3 micrograms per day. B-vitamins in general play an important role in the development and maintenance of the neurological system, and should be supplemented by mom, but B12 is especially important because of its role in DNA synthesis, blood cell formation and nerve formation. We used to get B12 from the beneficial bacteria living on our foods, who would produce B12 as part of their metabolic waste, which we would then ingest. But through the industrialisation of the food industry and stricter food and safety protocols, food-based microbes are mostly gone.

So all of us run the risk of being deficient. An easy fix is to supplement with B12. Note that B12 absorption by the body requires requires a healthy stomach pH and sufficient intrinsic factor, a protein released by the stomach lining to harvest B12 from our food. I recommend testing blood B12 levels at least once to verify that what you’re supplementing is actually crossing the gut membrane.

Plnty: The supplement market is exploding — powders, pills, gummies, plant proteins. How do you encourage women to navigate that space with discernment?

Yesheen: Educate yourself and be wary of trendy fads. If you are going to supplement, think about the why of supplementation and consider how your body naturally obtains these nutrients from food. Look for a supplement that most closely mimics the formats and pathways your body ordinarily uses to obtain these nutrients from your diet.

Vitamin C, for example, is found in citrus fruit. In supplement format, you can obtain it in a gummy form but it comes with a lot of sugar and extra artificial flavours and colours. Will the net impact be beneficial or harmful? How does this compare to a supplement format that is cleaner in formulation and includes co-factors, found naturally in vitamin-c-containing foods, that enhance vitamin C activity in the body?

Once you identify one or more products or brands who spend the time and energy creating clean, functional products, you can usually trust that the rest of their range is equally considered and created.

Plnty: Phyto Pro has become synonymous with clean, functional nutrition. What makes a protein or supplement genuinely “clean” in your book?

Yesheen: The term “clean” for me refers to the absence or minimal impact a food or supplement has on the level of inflammation in the body, on a physiological level. And this is how we use the term in Phyto Pro. It follows our “First Do No Harm” philosophy, carried across from our medical background.

When we use the term “clean”, for example to refer to our protein shakes, we mean that we have looked into the whole value chain of the product - how the protein and other ingredients are produced, what impact these have on human and environmental health, how the product is formulated, how is it manufactured and packaged - and believe the product to be as free from inflammatory triggers as is humanely possible.

“Functional” is also a key term for us. We create products focused on particular activities and processes of the body, e.g. repairing collagen or generating new muscle cells. We know how the body naturally works and include all the nutrients the body normally uses to achieve this function.

We choose to stay away from ingredients that don’t add functionality to our products, even if they are temporarily trendy.

Plnty: You see a lot of women at every life phase, from pre-conception through breastfeeding and beyond. Is there a single most overlooked nutrient across all of them, and if so, what is it?

Yesheen: This is challenging to answer. People come from different backgrounds and carry the impact of their past and present on their current health status. A varied, balanced diet is a good place to start.

Plnty: We often hear “food first.” But in real life, that’s not always possible. How do you see the balance between diet and supplementation in a modern woman’s routine?

Yesheen: Food does come first, but marry that with awareness of the limitations of your diet - where are the gaps? Where are you forced to compromise due to cost, availability, tolerance, etc. And fill in those gaps with a clean, functional supplement that you can sustainably use for the long haul.

Plnty: Beyond the science, how do you personally approach food? Is it data, intuition, pleasure… or all three?

Yesheen: I like to think I understand my body’s built-in quirks - things it needs more of, things it needs less of - and I am continually observing for changes in these. All this data helps me understand what I should be ingesting to keep my physical body even-keeled. But I am also a multidimensional being, with mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, and I allow some grace for the moments where I make choices that aren’t the healthiest for my physical body. I try to focus on returning the healthy path as quickly as possible, not on judging myself for straying.

Plnty: If you could debunk one nutrition myth that keeps women spinning their wheels, what would it be?

Yesheen: “Nutrition is complex and confusing, too confusing for me to engage with in an easy and sustainable manner.”

Confusion comes from the tension between what is healthy vs what is safe/familiar/tradition/tasty/convenient/cultural/normal. Take away ego and look at nutrition information from a functional perspective and it becomes so much simpler to understand if this info is going to add to your health or add to your stress.

Plnty: How can good nutrition become an easy, every day factor for families rather than a mountain to climb?

Yesheen: Inform yourself, create clear goals, identify simple systems/habits to help you achieve these goals and start with implementing one habit a day. Consult a professional if necessary.

For example, a healthy breakfast is an important way to start the day. Figure out what format works best for you and your family - smoothies, cooked breakfast, cereals - consider prep time, available time, cost, convenience, ingredient sourcing etc. Write out a breakfast schedule for the week. Assign people to the different days (if it’s not all on you!) And action! Once you’ve done breakfast for three weeks and it’s become “routine”, move on to the next snack or meal.

Rushda Moosajee — aka RUSHTUSH — is the latter. Entrepreneur, wife, mother of four boys, community-builder, and creator of a wellness empire that looks nothing like anyone else’s.

Julia and Rush sat down in Cape Town on a hot day in November to talk about confidence, softness, ambition, and why becoming a mother might just multiply who you already are.

Creativity, Childhood & Knowing Who You Are

Rush begins with a laugh — soft but certain — as she remembers how people often react to her sense of ease, her generosity, the way things seem to “flow” to her.

“I was quiet as a child,” she says. “Very in my head. I lived in this magical creative world.” Her granny was a seamstress with a workshop full of fabric, scissors, and machines — a small universe of colour that shaped her imagination. Rush would design outfits for her dolls, make magazines, experiment with graphic design long before she knew it had a name.

That path led her into media and design as an adult, “but it just wasn’t enough,” she says. “I knew there was something else.”

It was functional training — discovered through a personal trainer — that opened the next door.

“I shared my truths and my own journey through the marketing work I was doing for the gym. Suddenly, wellness wasn’t just exercise — it was a way of seeing myself.”

Martial Arts, Strength & the Softening That Comes With Age

Julia trained in martial arts from age nine to eighteen — “demanding, intense, both physically and mentally.” She later shifted into Krav Maga as an adult, until her husband gently told her:

“You’re walking on the mountain with your guard up and ready to fight — but we’re trying to have a baby now.”

Julia laughs at the memory, but she listened. “I was addicted to being strong. The version of me that could do pull-ups and walk the streets in the dark (well, sort of). But then you ask: what do I need right now in my life? That’s when I stopped, shifted into Pilates, my mind softened… and I fell pregnant a few months later.”

“Seasons”, Rush says, “we all live through them”.

“You can be powerful, fierce, strong. And you can also sit back, allow, be loved, and just be. That softness — I don’t think it comes easily in your twenties. But with age? With experience? You realise you don’t need to perform to be adored.”

Approval, Self-Knowing & Why Confidence Isn’t Something You Earn

Rush was often teased for being sure of herself.

“I always knew who I was,” she says. “I followed my heart. Even when people made fun of me. I don’t live for other people’s approval — because you can’t only want the good. If you chase validation, you hollow yourself out.”

She brings up the Victoria Beckham documentary — both of them marvelling at how someone so outwardly polished could be shaped by a lifelong hunger for approval.

Rush shakes her head: “Shame… but I can’t relate. I’m not like that.”

When Motherhood Awakens Something Bigger

Julia shares her own story — a decade in tech, big deals and lots of flying, until motherhood “whacked” her into clarity.

“I thought I’d go straight back to my old life,” Julia says. “I even joked that my husband would stay home and I’d keep working. But when Louis arrived… everything shifted. It felt easy for me in a way I didn’t expect. Natural. Joyful. I just love it.”

It’s this love — and the contrast to the many frustrating experiences she saw around her — that planted the seed for Plnty.

“I want to aggregate trusted information. I want women — especially mothers — to be as confident as possible. And I want to build a community that helps mothers enjoy their lives, not drown in them.”

Rush nods. “So many feel lonely,” she says. “And overwhelmed.”

Motherhood as Identity, Expansion & Self-Loyalty

Rush speaks about her four C-sections, the hormones, the moments of disorientation — and her refusal to collapse into them.

“I’d shower, do my makeup, hold my baby while I did it. Even a week postpartum, when that photo of my body went viral — people said ‘snapback,’ or criticised me. But it wasn’t luck. I trained my whole pregnancy. I walked the moment I could. I took my babies with me everywhere — including the boxing gym — and would feed them wherever I was.”

Her voice is firm but gentle:
“You have to look after yourself too. A happier mother makes a happier baby. It seems obvious — but for many women, the list of what holds them back is so long.”

She wonders aloud about medication, about deeper struggles. “Because you can tell someone to get sunlight or go for a walk, but if something is chemically imbalanced, they might need more support.”

“What Surprised You Most About Becoming a Mom?”

“How natural it felt,” Rush says. “How easy. How much I enjoyed it.”

Her mother, who had her very young, was shocked watching Rush care for her first newborn with calmness and instinct.

“I didn’t know what I was doing — but I just did it. It flowed.”

The Version of Herself That Only Exists Because She’s a Mother

“I admire that I’m doing it all — and I am still myself,” Rush answers without hesitation.

“So many women lose themselves in relationships, in career, in love. But holding onto your identity… that’s everything.”

Building an Empire in a Season Women Are Told to Slow Down

Rush became a mother at 32 — “not too young, not too old” she says — but with a surge of personality that surprised even her.

“Each pregnancy unlocked a different trait,” she says. “A message. An opportunity. And I’ve always believed: when something opens for you, you run with it. If it doesn’t work, you step away. But you don’t ignore it.”

Her boys — a house full of constant energy — fuel her.
“I want them to look at me and think: That’s my mom. If she can do it, I can too.”

@rushtush / Rushda / rushtush.com

There is no one way to do motherhood — but there is a way to do it as yourself. Rush embodies that truth fully: strong, soft, unapologetic, and (always!) in motion.

If this conversation resonated, tap the 🤎, share it with a friend, or forward it to the mum who needs to hear she’s not meant to shrink. And if you’re craving more honest voices, and more of this energy, you’ll find it inside Plnty — our growing home for mothers and mothers-to-be who want to feel confident in their choices, bodies, and lives.

Every Monday this series brings you a new voice.

Do you want to feature in it? Message me.

We’re building a place where real support means more than a quick Google. In the Plnty app, you’ll soon be able to access thoughtful, credible guidance from experts who get it — from fertility specialists, acupuncturists, psychologists, nutritionists, coaches, sexologists, doulas to paediatricians and pelvic floor specialists.

This week: Dr. Rupa Robbins, a child psychologist, founder of Tech Positive Parenting, and mum of two, on how to introduce screens with intention.

She breaks down what skills we actually want our kids to build around technology, why co-viewing is the secret sauce, why FaceTiming Grandma counts as connection (not consumption), and how simple routines can save everyone’s sanity.

As new parents, we’re asked to make decisions we’ve never made before: Should we sleep train or just caffeinate indefinitely? How do we introduce solids? Is my baby social enough, or should I be scheduling playdates like a cruise activities director?

These questions have been around for generations. But there’s one question our parents never had to answer: How do we parent around technology?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this—both as a child psychologist and as a mom of two. Over the years, I’ve found that framing the question in two parts helps:

1. What skills do I want my child to develop related to technology?

2. How can I build those skills in a developmentally appropriate way?

Today’s post is especially for parents at the very beginning of this journey—those whose kids are still toddlers or preschoolers, those who haven’t introduced “screens” yet (or have, but it hasn’t felt like the best introduction).

If you’re wondering how to begin your child’s life with technology intentionally, here are a few research-backed, sanity-saving guiding principles.

1. Take It Slow — and Follow Your Child’s Interests

There’s no rush. Truly. Tech will be waiting for your child with open arms when you’re ready.

For toddlers, early tech exposure should be interest-driven, simple, and short.

If your little one is obsessed with garbage trucks, watch a two-minute garbage truck clip together and talk about it (“Whoa, look how that arm lifts the bin!”). That shared back-and-forth conversation is what turns screen time into learning time. Research consistently shows that co-viewing—watching with your child—boosts comprehension, vocabulary, and emotional learning. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends it; media scholars have been saying it for years. Co-viewing is basically the “secret sauce.”

In our home, we started with Daniel Tiger because there’s actual evidence that the show increases prosocial behavior, emotional vocabulary, and empathy in preschoolers. Before we add anything new into the rotation, I always preview a few minutes first—not in a “helicopter parent” way, just in a “let’s make sure this is actually developmentally appropriate” way.

2. Video Chat All You Want

Good news: FaceTiming Grandma is not the same as handing your toddler an iPad.

In fact, several studies show that video chat is developmentally beneficial, especially for infants and toddlers. Young children struggle with 2D learning, but they can learn through video chat because it’s live, reciprocal, and filled with social cues—even over a screen.

Video chatting counts as rich language exposure, which is one of the strongest predictors of brain development in the early years. So let your child wave at grandparents, make silly faces, or show off the block tower they’re about to knock down. It’s connection—not consumption.

3. Start Screen Time Routines Early (You’ll Thank Yourself Later)

Toddlers thrive on routines. They love predictability, structure, and knowing the exact moment when snacks will arrive.Technology is no different.

If you’re going to introduce screens, it’s incredibly helpful to pair that introduction with a routine:

• Where screens happen (e.g., on the couch, not while roaming the house like a tiny influencer)

• When they happen (“one Daniel Tiger after snack time” eventually becomes a family norm)

• What happens after (e.g., a transition ritual like turning off the TV together, singing a “bye-bye screen” song, or handing the remote back to you)

Parents often underestimate the power of building routines around screentime. But, the earlier you start, the easier everything becomes.

Putting It All Together

Intentional tech introduction in early childhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about patterns.

A few minutes of Daniel Tiger while you cook? Developmentally appropriate and teaching social skills and empathy.

Daily video chats with grandma? Great for your child’s language development and for connection with family members.

Setting predictable routines before tech becomes the Wild West? Future-you will want to high-five present-you.

And the best part: you don’t have to be anti-tech or pro-tech. You can simply decide to be thoughtful. To treat technology as a tool—not a threat—and to use it in ways that support your child’s curiosity, connection, and learning. Our kids aren’t inheriting a world with less technology. They’re inheriting a world that requires skills and savvy.

By slowing down, co-viewing, embracing connection-based technology like video chat, and building predictable routines, we give our kids the foundation they need—not just to consume technology, but to navigate it with confidence and care.

Get in touch with Dr. Rupa Robbins:

Substack: / IG: techpositiveparenting / Web: techpositiveparenting.com

Every Monday, Plnty’s “Motherhood: but make it Yours” brings you a new voice.

This week: My friend on a simple question that made her blood boil.

Do you want to feature in this series? Message me.

I was at a friend’s house recently for a braai (which is the South African version of a bbq) and we were chatting about children and parenting. The friend I was speaking to doesn’t have children yet, and he very jokingly said, “So, now that you’re a parent, do you look at other parents and think they’re doing it wrong?”.

It was very much meant in a tongue-in-cheek way, and definitely not said to offend, but I also understood the question he was asking, and it triggered me so hard.

I felt the mama bear energy rise inside of me in a fierce, immediate, and unexpected way.

My protective instinct wasn’t for my child… it was for other mothers. For all other mothers.

I wanted to roar at him.

(I know that sounds ridiculous.)
But really, and truly, I felt myself wanting to roar.

I wanted to say, “How dare you.”
How dare you suggest that anyone is parenting wrong.

But I know exactly what he meant, and it’s been on my mind ever since.
I’ve spent some time ruminating on the carnal, physical reaction I had to his question, and this is where I stand:

I look around, and I see so many different variations of parenting. It’s so easy to catch yourself in the comparison game.
“These parents are doing X, I’d never do Y, I can’t believe they’re trying Z.”

The comparison game is where confidence as a mother goes to die. You might feel great looking one way, but look the other way, and suddenly you feel like you’re failing. As soon as you start comparing, you immediately overlook the number one most significant aspect of raising children -

Every child is different. Every mother is different. Every father is different.

Children play fast and loose. Each day is a new challenge. Just when you find your feet, or feel like you’ve found your groove, the ground is swept out from underneath you with an entirely new situation that you never expected yourself to be in. (I recently found myself being cajooled by a nanny syndicate - something I truly never expected - but that is a story for another day).

We, as parents, are not here to judge each other. We are not here to compete, to one-up, to be smug. We are here to do the best we can for our children. We are each dealing with our own set of unique circumstances, and we are each coming into parenthood with our own previous lived experience.

No. I do not think they’re doing it wrong. They might be doing it differently, but they’re not doing it wrong.

Parenting is a human experience, and like with any human experience, it can only be met to the depth at which you’ve met yourself. When we look to see if others are doing it ‘wrong’, our judgment comes from a place of ego, and once you become a parent, you realise, there is little room for ego. You are simply, far too busy. Plus, you quickly learn that releasing your ego and letting go, is one of the most foundational lessons in the transition into parenthood.

It is so easy to look at parents, before you have children, and judge their approach. But once you have them, its a whole new kettle of fish. You suddenly have a much deeper understanding of what all parents go through. The individual journeys are different, but the premise is the same - you are in a passage of transformation. You are not the same as you were before. Your perspective has shifted, your capacity has stretched, your understanding of the world is completely re-written.

And what this leads to is a deep respect for all other parents.

It’s a respect that makes you want to roar in each other’s defence.

No, they’re not doing it wrong. They love their children deeply, and they are parenting in the right way for them.

If you’re reading this as a parent, know that I am roaring with respect for you.

With love,
Flora.

We’re building a place where real support means more than a quick Google. In the Plnty app, you’ll soon be able to access thoughtful, credible guidance from experts who get it — from fertility specialists, acupuncturists, psychologists, nutritionists, sexologists, doulas to paediatricians and pelvic floor specialists.

This week: Charlotte Loop is a sexual health consultant and women’s health advocate whose work sits beautifully at the intersection of psychology, embodiment, and modern motherhood. She’s lived and worked across Europe — and just relocated to South Africa — helping women navigate everything from desire droughts to pelvic floor disconnect.

In this conversation, she unpacks what actually happens to intimacy during the fertility–pregnancy–postpartum rollercoaster — and how understanding our biology can bring us closer to ourselves (and each other).

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You’ve worked with clients in Europe and soon again in South Africa — do you notice differences in how women talk about sex, intimacy, and relationships across cultures?

Charlotte: I have always found it fascinating how culture influences the way women talk about sex, intimacy, and relationships. There are indeed significant differences across cultures.

The biopsychosocial model helps explain this by looking at three key components of sexuality: biological factors such as age, health, and hormones; psychological factors including thoughts, emotions, values, beliefs, and personal history; and social factors, which encompass the influence of culture, religion, upbringing, relationships, and societal norms.

This model shows that sexuality looks different for every individual. Differences in parental upbringing, religious background, cultural expectations, and social conditioning all shape how women think about and express their sexuality. It’s incredibly valuable to become aware of this, because many of our beliefs about sexuality have been shaped by external influences rather than our own truth. That’s why I always encourage women to ask themselves: Which of my beliefs are truly mine, and which have I inherited from others?

Fertility journeys, pregnancy, postpartum… these are massive transitions. What role do you think sexual wellbeing plays in navigating them?

C: Sexual wellbeing plays a much larger role in these transitions than most people realize. Pregnancy and the postpartum period bring huge physical, hormonal, and emotional changes, and yet conversations about sexuality are still often missing. The focus naturally shifts to the baby and physical recovery, but very few people ask how a woman feels in her own body, or how she experiences intimacy and desire during this time because no one taught us how to have this conversation.

When sexuality is overlooked, many women begin to feel disconnected from themselves and often become insecure. They might start to see themselves mainly as a mother rather than as a lover. On top of that, they have to adjust to their new body, role, and desires.

That is why sexual wellbeing needs more awareness. It starts with open conversations, education, and compassion. When women understand what is happening in their bodies and feel safe to share their experiences, they can navigate these transitions with more ease and self-acceptance.

For many women, desire feels “switched off” after birth. How can we start to gently switch it back on without pressure?

C: The first step is understanding why you feel this way. Biologically, it is completely normal to have a lower sex drive after giving birth. When you are breastfeeding, your body produces prolactin, which lowers estrogen levels. This can reduce your drive and also lead to vaginal dryness. Many women then feel that “things are not working down there” even when they are aroused, because their body does not respond in the way they expect. It is important to know that this is completely normal.

There are also other factors that influence desire after childbirth, including fatigue, emotional changes, hormonal shifts, and psychological adjustments. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space to reconnect. Discussing your feelings with your partner and creating a supportive environment can help a lot.

One helpful approach is the Dual Control Model of sexual response, which explains desire as a balance between sexual excitation, the “accelerator”, and sexual inhibition, the “brake”. In practice, you can start by identifying what helps you feel more aroused, the accelerator, and what reduces your arousal, hitting the brake. Then work with your partner to create an environment that maximizes the “accelerator” and minimizes the “brake.”

For example, pressing the accelerator might be taking a warm shower to feel comfortable and relaxed, followed by a gentle massage from your partner to help you get into the mood. And to avoid pressing the brake, you make sure that there is some lubricant ready next to the bed to avoid feeling insecure. And you make sure the baby is asleep in another room, because you might can’t concentrate when your baby is awake.

Guilt is something mothers often carry — about their bodies, their choices, even their pleasure. How do you encourage women to let go of that?

C: I wish there were a ready-made solution for this, but unfortunately there is no quick fix for guilt, insecurity, or shame. These feelings are shaped by the biopsychosocial model — meaning that many of the beliefs we carry about ourselves come from the outside world. They can come from our upbringing, friends, partners, TV shows, Instagram, influencers, or advertising, and over time we begin to believe them ourselves.

We also live in a culture that constantly encourages comparison. Everyone is different, so what works for one person may not work for another. When we focus too much on the outside world, we lose connection with ourselves. The more aligned we feel with our own truth, the less guilt we carry.

Becoming a mother brings huge changes to the body and the mind, and it takes time to feel fully aligned again. Give yourself that time, and above all, be gentle with yourself.

What do you wish women knew about their pelvic floor beyond the medical checkups?

C: That’s a good question. In general, too little attention is given to the pelvic floor, and many women are not fully aware of how important this area is. The pelvic floor is located at the base of the pelvis. These muscles surround the urethra, vagina, and anus, and you use them for everyday movements like lifting, standing, walking, and exercising.

Many women experience pelvic floor issues, especially during and after childbirth, because of the increased pressure in that area. The consequences can vary from urinary or bowel leakage to pain during sex or a heavy feeling in the pelvis. These issues can also affect daily life and mental wellbeing, as women may need to adapt their routines or even withdraw socially.

I always recommend training these muscles, ideally even before pregnancy. There are exercises available online, and tools like a crystal Yoni egg can also help. This can also be very useful for women who experience pain during penetration. You can imagine your body a bit like a dog: when a dog feels stressed, it tucks its tail between its legs. We don’t have a tail, but our pelvic floor does something similar. Many women carry stress in their pelvic floor, which is one of the main reasons for pain during sex. Because we don’t have a tail, we often don’t know how to properly contract and relax these muscles.

For this reason, it is important for every woman, young or old, to learn how to engage and release the pelvic floor. So let’s get started on training our pelvic floor and let’s normalize it!

Sometimes intimacy feels more mental than physical — what are small practices that help women reconnect with themselves on both levels?

C: Intimacy is so different for everyone. One person might feel intimacy through sharing a glass of wine in sexy lingerie by the fireplace, another through cuddling on the couch and saying sweet words, and someone else through deep conversations about their deepest desires.

To reconnect, it’s important first to understand what intimacy means for you. Intimacy is more than sex, and mapping out what it means to you can help you reconnect with yourself. What does intimacy feel like? What words come to mind? You can use a mind map, colors, drawings, or any method that feels right for you. Then choose the three most important themes and explore them further. I also recommend discussing this with your partner and even doing the exercise together. Chances are, your partner has very different ideas about intimacy, and this can be a beautiful way to get to know each other better, meet each other’s needs, and grow together.

To reconnect physically, I suggest literal movement. Coming home to your body begins with feeling: from your breath to your muscles. Reconnect with your body in a way that works for you. I am a big fan of Pilates, because it helps me experience my body from the inside out and use it as an anchor for calm, strength, and self-confidence. Also, it has the added benefit of strengthening your pelvic floor.

Partners often struggle too, but don’t always know how to support. What’s one thing you wish more partners understood about this stage of life?

C: My best friend once told me, “Don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree”. I have loved that saying ever since, and it feels very applicable to this situation. Partners often have no idea what you are going through, what your body is experiencing, or how intense the hormonal changes can be.

If you feel misunderstood or that your partner is not providing the right support, the most important thing is to start the conversation. Include them, explain what you are going through, and most importantly, share how you feel and what you need. Communication is key. Do not expect them to read between the lines. Be clear about your feelings, expectations, needs and desire.

One thing I wish all partners understood is how much changes for a woman during pregnancy and especially after giving birth. It usually take months, sometimes up to a year, for the body to recover, and even after that, it will never be exactly the same. And that is okay, because a woman has just given life. It takes time to get used to these changes and to fully embrace and love her new body and self. The understanding, support, and love of a partner can make a huge difference during this process. A lot of attention goes to the newborn, but partners, please give the mother the love and attention she deserves as well.

There’s so much noise online about what’s “normal” in sex and relationships. How can women start to trust their own experience more?

C: We have been influenced our whole lives by ideas of what is “normal.” Parents, teachers, books, religion, friends, and especially Hollywood and social media shape how we see ourselves and our relationships without us even realizing it. This creates a perfect image in our minds of what an amazing sex life or relationship should look like, which can get in the way of enjoying our own experiences.

We all have ideas of the “perfect” relationship with exciting dates, beautiful trips, and highlight reels where we are always deeply in love. This creates pressure and shifts the focus from the relationship itself to what others might think. The same happens with sex. Many women feel insecure if for instance they initiate sex more often than their partner, or if they become aroused faster than their male partners, because media has repeatedly shown a different image.

There is no such thing as “normal,” because everyone is different, and everything is normal and that is a good thing. Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone were the same. The world would even collapse if that were the case. Do not be afraid to explore what feels best for you, both in your relationship and in your sex life. If it feels difficult to express this to your partner, consult a therapist. Do not feel ashamed! We were never taught how to have these conversations, and having a professional guide can be incredibly helpful.

If a new mother came to you feeling completely overwhelmed, what’s the very first step you’d guide her toward?

C: The first step is acknowledging the feeling. We can be so hard on ourselves. It is important to feel your emotions without immediately trying to fix them or dismiss them. It is okay to feel overwhelmed, and it is good to let the emotions be, instead of holding everything inside.

The next step is defining the question you want to work on. Often there is a deeper question behind the feeling of being overwhelmed, and identifying it helps you know where to start. Understanding what is really going on and what you need is the key to moving forward with clarity and calm.

And on a personal note: what’s something that gives you joy and keeps you connected to yourself?

C: Pilates, communication, and nature. As I mentioned before, I absolutely love Pilates. It works so well for my body, and after a class I feel happy, confident, and beautiful both inside and out. Exercise reduces stress, helps me feel calm, and releases “happy hormones” like endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin. Pilates focuses on breath work and helps me connect with my body, my mind, and even my soul. As you can tell, I am a big fan.

Another important way I stay connected with myself is through clear and open communication with my partner, family, and friends. If I do not communicate clearly about what I want, what I struggle with, and what I need, how can I expect to connect with myself? Many people, especially new mothers, run themselves into the ground and forget about their own needs. But you can only take care of others well when you take care of yourself first. Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.

Finally, nature is essential for me. When I feel overwhelmed, I need to go outside as soon as possible, and the greener the environment, the better. Being in nature is my oxygen mask, and it works every single time.

You can reach Charlotte here: @charlotteloop (Instagram) / @retreatfeminineleadership (Instagram)

More soon,

X Julia

I recently had a miscarriage.

And while I’m not going to write about the details of it here, what it gave me was renewed perspective: a sharp reminder of how enormous this life stage really is. The trying, the waiting, the loss, the rebuilding. The quiet hopes, the questions you google at 2AM, the moments you look around and realise: wow, we’re all just winging this, aren’t we?

Motherhood, and everything that surrounds it, is an entire ecosystem.
And yet we’re navigating it in fragments.

A podcast here.

A whatsapp group there.

A nutritionist on Instagram.

A friend’s “must-have” spreadsheet.

A doctor’s 12-minute appointment.

We’ve never had more information, yet somehow it’s never felt harder to find what’s credible, aligned, and right for us.

The noise vs the knowing

Every mother I know spends hours trying to find her version of “what’s best”.

Which stroller is actually worth it? Which prenatal supplement isn’t full of fillers? How do I know if my hormones are ‘normal’? Why is starting solids so confusing?

It’s endless. And it’s exhausting.

What I want and need is one place for it all:

• Credible information, grounded in both science and lived experience.

• Access to practitioners I can trust: doctors, doulas, nutritionists, acupuncturists, psychologists, pelvic floor specialists, and more.

• Real connection with other women in the same or similar stage of life.

• And practical edits: curated meal planners, studios and gyms in your city and online, baby gear recommendations that don’t require 47 browser tabs, city guides that make travel with kids feel possible, and more.

Not another app to scroll.
But a space that helps us close the app — and get on with living.

Building Plnty

So that’s what I’m building.
A modern members’ app and community for (future) mothers seeking connection, insight, and curated living — online and off.

Plnty isn’t about more screen time. It’s about more ease and confidence.
About knowing where to go when you need to know.

It’s a place where credible information meets calm design.
Where medical and alternative practitioners coexist (because I believe they should).
Where motherhood and all that comes with it doesn’t feel like an algorithmic guessing game — but a deeply human experience.

The shift that changed everything

After losing this pregnancy, I realised how fragile and how powerful this chapter really is. How much it takes from us, and how much it gives.

I don’t think we talk enough about the infrastructure of motherhood.
The scaffolding that holds us while we build our families.

Because whether you’re trying to conceive, newly postpartum, or chasing a toddler or several around, there’s one truth that remains: we need better systems of support.

Not more pressure.
Not more perfection.
Just more Plnty.

My intention

I’m building Plnty because I believe modern motherhood deserves more: more credibility, more calm, more confidence.

Because I want (future) mothers (myself included) to feel empowered, not overwhelmed. To spend less time searching for answers, and more time living.

And maybe most of all: because I don’t want any of us to go through this chapter — whatever that might look like for you — feeling alone.

Come along for the journey, there’s plnty to see:

Subscribe now

Love,

Julia

The Other Club is a space for the stories that sit alongside motherhood: The women who haven’t had kids (yet, or ever), the ones still deciding, and the ones building full lives in other ways.

Think of it as Plnty’s sister table — same energy, different conversations. We’re talking love, freedom, fears, timing, ambition.

First up, my best friend ’s love letter to a life without babies (for now).

Most days I’m totally happy and the thought of kids doesn’t even cross my mind.

Other days I wonder if I even want kids.

And then there are the days when I feel like maybe I’m just lying to myself and saying I don’t want kids because I fear that I may never find the right partner to have them with.

It’s a silent conversation, but one I feel many single women in their thirties have with themselves.

The group chats have become a mash-up of baby photos, sleep-regression updates, run-club TikToks (apparently this is where I will find my husband in 2025), sleep deprived selfies, and the odd “can we please do a fun night out?!”

Still, my mom friends are literal superheroes. They’re rewriting what womanhood looks like.

It’s only natural to feel like I may never get into this exclusive club.

Until I realise that I’m actually in an exclusive club too.

And the clubs are not in competition.

They’re just… different. One has bedtime routines, giggles and Ms Rachel.

The other has spontaneous flights, girl dinner and lazy Sunday mornings.

Both are beautiful, both are valid, and both have their perks.

So, while everyone around me is falling pregnant, I’m falling too - Failing in love with the life I’m creating, and experiences I only dreamed of as a teenager.

And maybe, that’s exactly how it’s meant to be.. for now at least.

For all my single thirty-something sistas, when that little voice (or invisible bouncer) tries to make you feel bad for standing outside the “mom club,” remember what the great modern philosopher Tinx said: “Comparison is the thief of joy, but also the thief of common sense. You don’t know anyone’s full story.”

Love, Dom

Every Monday, ‘Motherhood: but make it Yours’ brings you a new voice.

This week: Anna from Tender & True shares her story of grief, difference, and turning pain into purpose.

Do you want to feature in this series?

I became a mother — and then I became an advocate.

My entry into motherhood wasn’t gentle.

I didn’t float into it, glowing and serene.

I bled into it — literally.

Ten weeks of haemorrhaging. Ten weeks of fear. Of “take it easy” and “wait and see.” Of sleepless nights on the couch with my hand pressed to my stomach, whispering to a baby I hadn’t met yet: please stay.

When the bleeding finally stopped, I thought we were in the clear.

I thought I could breathe again.

But then — my aunt, who was like a second mother to me, passed away unexpectedly and tragically.

And the very next day, we were told our baby would be born with a limb difference.

I’ll never forget how the words landed.

Not because they were cruel — but because they were clinical. Cold. Detached.

As if they didn’t know we already loved him.

At first, they suspected Amniotic Band Syndrome — a rare and frightening condition. We were thrown into a blur of ultrasounds, non-stress tests, blood work, and specialist referrals. There were so many unknowns. So many things no one could promise.

And while the world around me kept moving, I stood still.

Grieving my aunt. Grieving the idea of the pregnancy I thought I’d have.

Trying to process what it meant to raise a child who would be visibly different in a world that often chooses sameness.

I didn’t let myself feel it all at once.

I couldn’t. I was too busy surviving.

But when my son was born, everything broke open.

Not in a bad way — in a true way.

Like a dam finally giving out.

Like breath after being held underwater.

The tears came. The weight lifted. The love took over — a kind of love I didn’t know existed. Fierce. Protective. Soft. Steady.

And suddenly, I saw it clearly:

He wasn’t missing anything.

He was whole — our version of whole.

So this is how I’ve made motherhood mine:

I’ve chosen to turn my pain into purpose.

I’ve chosen advocacy.

I advocate for children like my son — born with limb differences that the world often overlooks, underrepresents, or misunderstands. I write, I speak, I share, I show up — because visibility changes everything. Because every child deserves to grow up seeing themselves as possible.

I advocate for mothers, too — especially those navigating loss, high-risk pregnancies, postpartum storms, and impossible decisions. I know what it’s like to feel joy and heartbreak tangled together. I know what it’s like to smile for others while silently falling apart.

And I advocate for mental health — because motherhood asks everything of us. And because no one should have to carry it all alone.

I became a mother — and then I became a voice.

Not because I planned to.

But because silence no longer felt like love.

I don’t know what kind of story you’re holding right now, but I hope you know this:

You can make your motherhood yours.

Messy. Brave. Loud. Quiet. Grieving. Glorious. Unfolding.

And if your journey has taken you through pain, please know — that doesn’t disqualify you from joy.

It might just make your love even deeper.

With love,

Anna